Original subtitles

HEY!

WOMAN: IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE. WE SHOULD ALL BE AT HOME

SIPPING SPICED CIDER AND COOKING SWEETS.

INSTEAD, RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS SEARCHING FOR THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

HE'S NOT AT THE HOTEL.

THE HOSPITAL HASN'T SEEN HIM.

OH, I JUST KEEP GETTING HIS VOICEMAIL.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, CASS?

I DON'T KNOW!

UNIVERSE, OK.

I'M SAYING IT.

AND WHY AM I TALKING TO THE UNIVERSE?

UH, WELL, I GUESS TO EXPLAIN IT ALL,

I SHOULD REALLY START AT THE BEGINNING.

[HOUSE MUSIC PLAYS]

[POP MUSIC PLAYS]

HI.

HEY.

OH, HE MISSED YOU.

HEY, LITTLE MONKEY. DADDY MISSED YOU.

HE MISSED YOU TOO.

YEAH, IT MUST BE...

HARD ON HIM, YOU KNOW, BREAKING UP HIS USUAL ROUTINE.

YEAH. YEAH. IT'S DEFINITELY DIFFICULT

FOR HIM WITH ALL THE SEPARATION BETWEEN US.

I THINK HE KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON.

SO HE'S PROBABLY PRETTY STRESSED.

MAYBE YOU JUST KEEP AN EYE ON HIM WHILE HE'S ADJUSTING.

YEP.

BUT, UM...

YOU WANT TO GO ON A WALK LATER TONIGHT?

MAYBE OVER COFFEE?

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T. I HAVE A THING.

A THING?

A COUPLE GUYS ARE MEETING UP AND WE'RE GOING TO...

I JUST CAN'T.

OK. THAT'S FINE.

I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU

AROUND OR WHATEVER.

[DOOR OPENS]

HEY, LITTLE GUY.

SEE YA.

ALL RIGHT, THAT IS 12 RED VELVET CUPCAKES.

6.95, MS. DALEY.

THERE YOU ARE. HEY, CASSIE,

DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY OF THOSE SANTA CUPCAKES YET?

DECEMBER COMES EARLY AROUND HERE. I GOT ONE IN THE BACK FOR YOU.

GREAT. I'M GLAD I MISSED THE RUSH.

YEAH.

WHAT CHRISTMAS RUSH?

HI. OH, SORRY.

NICE TO SEE YOU TOO. BYE-BYE.

I'M SORRY. I'M HERE. I'M HERE.

OK.

I WAS JUST TRYING OUT THIS NEW MEDITATION.

I JUST LOST TRACK OF TIME.

SO HOW DID IT GO WITH JARED?

UM, IT WAS AWFUL. I DON'T KNOW WHY

I THOUGHT I SHOULD SHARE CUSTODY OF MY DOG WITH MY EX-BOYFRIEND.

BECAUSE NOW WE HAVE TO SEE EACH OTHER AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO SEE ME.

HE'S JUST A SELFISH BABY THAT'S GOING THROUGH A MID-LIFE CRISIS

10 YEARS BEFORE HE SHOULD.

HE THINKS THERE'S SOMETHING BETTER OUT THERE?

GO. LOOK FOR IT.

JUST LET HIM GO. YOU'LL BE BETTER OFF.

RIGHT? THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO THINK.

BUT I FEEL LIKE... I JUST DON'T REALLY KNOW

HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO FEEL ABOUT ANYTHING.

IT'S CRAZY.

JUST EMBRACE ALL YOUR FEELINGS.

YOU TOTALLY HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK I'M READING.

OK.

YEAH.

HI. I'M TRISHA. AND TODAY IS A GREAT DAY BECAUSE I SAID SO.

I SAW IT. I MANIFEST IT. IT BECOMES MY REALITY.

A GREAT DAY. BOOM.

JUST NOW. SEE?

COULD I GET YOU ANYTHING?

UNBELIEVABLE.

UNBELIEVABLE.

I'M SO SORRY.

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?

YOU ARE A CONSUMMATE CONFECTIONARY.

THAT IS THE BEST CUPCAKE I'VE EVER TASTED.

ABSOLUTELY SUPERLATIVE.

COOL. WELL THANK YOU, MISTER...

DENVER. NOLAN DENVER.

ARE YOU NEW AROUND HERE? I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE.

NEW? YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF MY FILM?

OH, NO.

STARTS SHOOTING DECEMBER 1.

I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A MOVIE CREW IN TOWN.

SECRET. I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE KNOWING ABOUT MY PRODUCTIONS.

PAPARAZZI POPPING UP ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I SHOULDN'T BE TELLING YOU THIS.

SO CAN YOU TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT THE MOVIE?

NO. WELL, IT'S AN ARTISTIC FILM.

OH.

IT'S ARTISTIC ACTION FILM.

AN ARTISTIC CHRISTMAS ACTION MOVIE.

STARRING...

AHH.

OOH, I LOVE THOSE.

ME TOO.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. CAN I HIRE YOU TO CATER DESSERT

THE FIRST DAY OF FILMING?

WHAT--

OK. THAT'S-- OK. COOL. SO...

THAT'S SO COOL. SO WHAT DO YOU WANT?

CUPCAKES. ALL OF THEM.

LIKE THESE, THOSE, THOSE ARE GOOD.

SUGAR, THESE, CHOCOLATE. AND I WANT THOSE.

IS THAT A REAL CAKE? COOKIES. MACADAMIA NUT. CHOCOLATE CHIP.

THAT'S GOOD. THOSE LOOK GOOD.

HERE, TALK TO MY ASSISTANT.

YOU HAVE TROUBLE WITH MY ASSISTANT, YOU CAN CALL ME THERE.

GREAT.

I NEED 1/3 GLUTEN FREE. 1/3 FAT FREE.

1/3 SUGAR FREE.

AND THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

MS...

CASSIE. I'M CASSIE.

WE'RE BAKING FOR THE MOVIE!

OH, MY GOD.

AH.

WHO KNOWS, MAYBE YOU'LL GET FAMOUS OFF THIS THING

AND THEY'LL GIVE US ONE OF THOSE TV CUPCAKE SHOWS.

YOU KNOW, THE SHOWS WHERE THEY--

NEVER MIND. IT'S JUST A JOKE

THAT ANYONE WITH A TELEVISION, OR INTERNET

OR A BASIC UNDERSTANDING OF POP CULTURE WOULD UNDERSTAND.

WELL, I DON'T HAVE A TELEVISION. SO I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

OH, MY GOD, THIS IS GOOD. THIS IS REALLY GOOD.

WHOO. THIS IS GOOD. SO YOU'RE GOING TO HELP ME?

OF COURSE I'M GOING TO HELP YOU

AS SOON AS I GET BACK FROM RETREAT.

OK. RETREAT. WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

THE BOOK I'M READING "LET THE UNIVERSE OPEN YOUR DOOR."

I'M SPENDING A WEEK IMMERSING MYSELF IN A PROGRAM--

POSITIVE THINKING, POSITIVE ACTION, POSITIVE VISUALIZATION.

I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS. I LEAVE TOMORROW, BACK IN A WEEK.

YOU DID NOT TELL ME ABOUT THIS. YOU DID NOT TELL ME ABOUT THIS.

OK. I'M FREAKING OUT. WHOO.

OK. I CAN DO THIS, RIGHT? I CAN DO THIS.

THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD.

LOOK. BEING BUSY WILL BE GOOD.

YES, I CAN STOP THINKING ABOUT JARED.

START FOCUSING ON YOURSELF.

YEAH, I NEED TO MOVE ON.

FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER MAN.

I NEED SOME CUPCAKES.

THAT COULD BE GOOD.

DO YOU THINK THIS IS REALLY GOOD?

SHH.

WHO?

THERE'S A GUY. HI, THERE.

HI.

YOU GUYS OPEN?

CAN WE HELP YOU?

YEAH. I'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND TOWN,

AND I HEAR THE RED VELVET CUPCAKES ARE AMAZING.

IT'S MY MOM'S RECIPE.

MIND IF I TAKE A LOOK?

NO.

[WHISTLES]

GOOD LOOKING SHOP.

SO YOUR MOM'S RECIPE, HUH?

YEAH.

I'VE EATEN A LOT OF THESE OVER THE YEARS,

SO I'M KIND OF AN EXPERT.

THINK YOUR MOM'S RECIPE'S UP TO THE CHALLENGE?

PROBABLY. YOU CAN TRY ONE. IT'S ON THE HOUSE.

HERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU.

I'M LOVING THIS PLACE ALREADY.

HERE GOES.

YOU SCARED?

YOU SHOULD BE.

[SENSUAL MUSIC PLAYS]

WOW...

CASSIE. CASSIE.

WOW... THAT'S...

YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

I DON'T WANT YOU CUPCAKES.

I WANT YOU.

WOW.

WOW.

WOW.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO EAT ANOTHER DOZEN OF THESE JUST TO MAKE SURE

OF THE FINAL VERDICT. BUT I THINK IT'S LOOKING GOOD FOR YOU.

COOL.

I'LL TAKE A HALF DOZEN.

DO I KNOW YOU? BECAUSE YOU LOOK FAMILIAR?

I GET THAT ALL THE TIME.

ONE OF THOSE FACES.

ME TOO. I HAVE PEOPLE SAY THAT TO ME TOO.

I BET.

WELL HERE.

I GUESS I SHOULD PAY.

THANKS.

THANK YOU. WOW.

IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

I'M CASSIE.

A.J.

A.J.

YEAH, I'LL BE BACK.

COOL.

I'M TRISHA. I KNOW NOBODY CARES RIGHT NOW.

BUT I'M TRISHA.

IT'S NICE TO MEET BOTH OF YOU.

SEE YA.

BREATHE. BREATHE.

WHO NEEDS TO BREATHE WITH THAT GUY AROUND?

YOU SHOULD'VE GOTTEN HIS NUMBER.

I CAN'T ASK FOR NUMBERS. IT'S BAD FOR BUSINESS.

ALL I NEED RIGHT NOW IS BUSINESS.

OH.

ZACK!

YO. GENEROUS SISTER.

LIGHT OF MY LIFE.

FRIEND.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS NOW?

TRISHA.

DID YOU GET EVERYTHING OUT OF THE BATHTUB?

I WAS GOING TO.

BUT THEN I REALIZED, IT WOULD JUNK UP THIS ROOM.

BUT THE BATHTUB DOESN'T WORK ANYWAY. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

DID YOU LOOK FOR A JOB?

LOOKING. YES. FINDING...

NO.

HAVEN'T YOU BEEN HERE FOR, LIKE, TWO MONTHS, SOMETHING?

NO SYMPATHY FOR RECENT COLLEGE GRADUATES ENTERING THE RECESSION?

THAT'S UNFAIR.

NO. WHAT'S UNFAIR IS YOU IN MY SPACE.

OK? SO TOMORROW, YOU'RE WORKING FOR ME AT THE CUPCAKE SHOP.

YOU AND ME. IT'S CHRISTMAS RUSH.

I'M ALLERGIC TO SUGAR AND RETAIL.

IS HE ADOPTED?

YEAH, RIGHT? HE SEEMS LIKE IT.

SO YOU REALIZE YOU MAY NEVER SEE A.J. AGAIN, RIGHT?

WHY? WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS STILL?

HOLD ON.

HERE. MERRY EARLY CHRISTMAS.

I KNOW THIS IS REALLY HELPING YOU.

BUT I'M REALLY NOT INTO THE WHOLE SELF-HELP BOOK THING.

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ IT. IT'S A NATIONAL BESTSELLER.

HOW CAN 20 MILLION PEOPLE BE WRONG?

DIDN'T THEY SAY THAT ABOUT SMOKING IN THE '50S?

ZIP IT.

SKYLAR ST. JEAN SAYS THIS BOOK CHANGED HER LIFE AND LET HER

FINALLY BE THE PERSON-- WHO IS SKYLAR? WHO CARES?

CASS, SHE'S LIKE A MAJOR MOVIE STAR.

WHATEVER. JUST READ THE BOOK.

AND STOP LETTING OPPORTUNITY LITERALLY WALK OUT YOUR DOOR.

[POP MUSIC PLAYS]

ANYONE HERE?

HEY.

HEY.

BACK FOR MY MORNING SUGAR RUSH.

ANY RECOMMENDATIONS?

UM...YEAH, I REALLY LIKE THE CHOCOLATE ONES.

THEY DO LOOK GOOD.

STUPID SINK!

I'M SORRY.

EVERYTHING OK BACK THERE?

YOU NEED A HAND?

WELL, NOT UNLESS YOU FIX SINKS.

SO PROBABLY NOT.

DONE MY SHARE OF HANDIWORK.

REALLY?

WANT ME TO TAKE A LOOK?

YEAH.

YEAH.

OK.

OH.

THIS MIGHT TAKE A MINUTE.

SO THE SINK IS BROKEN.

YEAH. WE CAN GET THAT FIXED.

DON'T TURN THAT BACK ON.

EVER.

SORRY, YOU'RE SO WET.

THAT'S FUNNY.

DUDE, YOU LOOK REALLY FAMILIAR.

OK. A.J., THIS IS MY BROTHER ZACK.

HAVE WE MET?

WORK IN TIMBER?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO REPAY YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

ALL I DID WAS TURN OFF THE WATER.

BUT IF YOU HAVE A TOOLBOX, I COULD...

WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR THEM TO COME.

WHY DON'T I TAKE A LOOK?

I USED TO DO PLUMBING JOBS BACK IN THE DAY.

OK. WELL, I HEARD THAT IT'S REALLY COMPLICATED.

SO I DON'T KNOW.

HEY, I'M ALL ABOUT COMPLICATED.

[RATCHET WINDING]

SO IS IT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT?

ACTUALLY NO. WE'RE ALL CLEAR.

CLEAR. THAT'S IT, HUH?

I'VE BEEN WAITING MONTHS TO GET THIS THING FIXED. THANK YOU.

HAPPY TO BE OF SERVICE.

YOU KNOW, IT ACTUALLY FELT GOOD.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE ACTUALLY DONE SOMETHING MYSELF.

WELL, I COULD'VE NEVER DONE IT MYSELF.

SO CALL ME GRATEFUL.

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN TOWN?

CHANGE.

CHANGE?

IT'S BEEN A BUSY FEW YEARS.

SO...

COOL OUT A LITTLE BIT. RELAX.

PICK UP A LITTLE SIDE WORK.

WELL, I REALLY NEED HELP.

I KNOW YOU LIKE CUPCAKES AND YOU FIX THINGS. SO YOU'RE HIRED.

I DON'T KNOW.

NO. WELL, I KNOW. I KNOW THAT I REALLY NEED A WORKING KITCHEN

BEFORE CHRISTMAS RUSH. AND YOU JUST FIXED MY SINK WITHOUT

ANY PLUMBER CRACK SHOWING.

AND MY BROTHER IS GOING TO BAIL.

YEAH.

I REALLY, REALLY NEED YOUR HELP. JUST A LITTLE BIT.

JUST UP TO CHRISTMAS, PLEASE?

I'LL DO IT AS LONG AS I GET TO STAY IN THE KITCHEN.

OK.

I'M NOT GOOD WITH CUSTOMER SERVICE.

OK. DEAL.

GOT YOURSELF A NEW EMPLOYEE.

SO ARE YOU GOOD WITH STOVES?

[POP MUSIC PLAYS]

THINKING ABOUT AUDITIONING TO BE

AN EXTRA FOR THAT MOVIE HERE IN TOWN.

OOH.

UNH. UNH.

WHAT IS THAT?

IT'S ME GETTING SHOT.

THOUGHT IT WAS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE.

I DON'T KNOW. THEY SAID THEY WERE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE TO GET SHOT.

HMM. WELL, AS LONG AS YOU'RE WORKING.

HI.

HEY, GONZO.

HI.

SO IS HE GOOD? HOW WAS HE?

SO LISTEN, I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU...

I TOLD YOU THAT I HAD A THING.

YEAH.

THE OTHER DAY.

I WENT TO A SUPPORT GROUP.

IT'S FOR INATTENTIVE PARTNERS.

HERE. SO LET'S MAKE A LIST

OF ALL THE WAYS THAT I HURT YOU.

UM,

NUMBER ONE, I FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY.

YES. YOU DID.

NUMBER TWO, I STOOD YOU UP ON OUR ANNIVERSARY

WHEN I FINALLY REMEMBERED IT.

JUST BECAUSE I HAD OTHER FRIENDS IN TOWN.

NBA FINALS. I JUST-- I GOT CARRIED AWAY.

NUMBER THREE,

I BLAMED A LOT OF OUR ARGUMENTS ON YOUR MENSTRUAL CYCLE.

I CRITICIZED YOU FOR YOUR TERRIBLE DRIVING SKILLS,

AND THAT'S NOT OK. BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE.

REALLY?

NUMBER FIVE.

I NEVER PAID YOU BACK FOR THAT PLANE TICKET YOU BOUGHT ME TO SPAIN,

FIRST CLASS.

YOU MUST HATE ME.

I DON'T-- I DON'T HATE YOU, JARED.

I WOULD PUNCH ME IN MY THROAT AREA RIGHT HERE.

NOT GONNA PUNCH YOU.

I HAVE ONE MORE THAT I WANT TO SAY.

AND THIS IS THE BIG ONE.

YOU KNOW, TRISHA.

YEAH. TRISHA.

SHE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND.

YES.

I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT

THAT SHE WAS JUST REALLY, REALLY HOT.

I DESERVE THAT.

I--THANK YOU.

OK. GAS PIPES ARE CLEAN AND CLEAR.

READY TO TAKE THIS BAD BOY OUT.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL OF MY LIFE?

SACRAMENTO.

NO. I'M SERIOUS. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE THIS?

WHERE WERE YOU?

GEEZ, ALL THE QUESTIONS...

I'M SERIOUS. WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?

I WAS HEADING TO L.A. I HAD A BUDDY WITH A CARPENTRY BUSINESS.

I WAS GOING TO HELP HIM OUT.

I COULD GO WHENEVER, SO...

CASS, WE'RE REALLY LOW ON TOILET PAPER. HEY.

OK.

JUST FYI.

SORRY.

SO YOU'RE A CARPENTER.

I USED TO BE.

NOW I'M JUST KIND OF LOOKING.

LOOKING FOR WHAT?

YOUR SNOWBALL'S GETTING STUCK.

I'M SERIOUS. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

WHAT DO YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE?

DO YOU...WHAT DO YOU NEED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT OR NEED.

OK.

MAYBE I JUST GOT TO LIVE A LITTLE.

ENJOY WHAT'S IN FRONT OF ME.

BUT YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD.

YEAH.

ALTHOUGH.

I COULD THINK OF ONE THING THAT COULD MAKE IT BETTER.

WHAT'S THAT?

A DIRTY SNOWBALL.

OH, NO...NO.

NO?

NO.

OH, MY GOSH. YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

IT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE EVER TASTED IN MY LIFE.

I KNEW IT!

OK.

WHY AREN'T YOU SELLING THIS?

I DON'T KNOW, BECAUSE THE ONLY PEOPLE

THAT LIKE ANYTHING WITH THE WORD DIRT IN IT IS LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD.

CHANGE THE NAME.

TO WHAT?

WHAT COULD WE CALL THEM?

SINFUL SNOWBALLS.

PEOPLE LIKE TO BE BAD OVER THE HOLIDAYS.

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO BE NAUGHTY OR NICE?

NOTHING WRONG WITH A LITTLE NAUGHTINESS IN MY OPINION.

NOT SCARED OF COALS IN YOUR STOCKING?

NO. THANK YOU.

[CLAMORING]

COME ON. YOU GUYS, GET OUT OF HERE.

RIGHT IN THE CAMERA. RIGHT IN THE CAMERA.

SMILE BIG! SMILE BIG!

WHO ARE YOU?

LISTEN, I'M SORRY.

ALEX!

NO! NO!

I KNEW THAT I RECOGNIZED HIM.

ME TOO.

HOW COULD YOU GUYS NOT SAY ANYTHING?

ONCE I GOT TO KNOW HIM I SORT OF FORGOT THAT I KNEW HIM.

I LEAVE THE RETREAT, WHICH WAS AMAZING BY THE WAY.

THANKS FOR ASKING.

AND I CHECK MY PHONE. AND WHAT DO I SEE?

YOU MAKING OUT WITH ALEX GRAY.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL.

BECAUSE HE'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST MOVIE STARS IN THE WORLD.

AND OBVIOUSLY INTO YOU.

A MOVIE STAR. A FAMOUS MOVIE STAR. I FEEL SO STUPID.

IT'S LIKE I'M LIKE SOME SMALL TOWN GROUPIE

THAT HE CAN JUST ROMANCE AND THEN TAKE OFF.

WHO'S SKYLAR ST. JEAN?

ALEX'S EX-FIANCEE, REMEMBER? I TOLD YOU ABOUT HER.

SHE'S THE ONE THAT GOT INTO THE UNIVERSE BOOK.

OH, DUMPED HIM. OH MY GOSH.

SHE IS A TOTAL BABE.

SHE'S SO PRETTY.

I WOULD NEVER HAVE A CHANCE COMPARED TO HER.

MAN: ♪ WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS ♪

MERRY CHRISTMAS, OFFICER.

CHRISTMAS?

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT CHRISTMAS.

YOU LOOK AROUND, YOU SEE LIGHTS, TREES, PRESENTS.

ALL THAT GOOD CHEER CRAP.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE? I SEE PAST THE PRESENTS

AND PAST THE WRAPPING PAPER

AND I SEE A WORLD THAT IS QUICKLY FALLING APART.

AND CUT.

YOU OK? I DIDN'T HURT YOU, DID IT?

THAT WAS AWESOME.

THANKS.

YOU GUYS ALL DID GREAT. GOOD JOB.

WHEW. TURN AROUND. TAKE FIVE.

I CAN SO DO THAT.

I CAN CAROL. I CAN GET SHOVED AROUND BY ALEX GRAY.

SO GO DO IT THEN.

I WILL.

REALLY SOON.

YEAH.

YOU.

REALLY?

I WANT TO HIRE YOU.

THE OFFICIAL DESSERT CATERER OF "THE LAST CHRISTMAS CAROL."

WE WRAP CHRISTMAS EVE.

THAT'S REALLY GREAT.

BUT I ACTUALLY MAKE ALL MY YEARLY INCOME AT AROUND CHRISTMAS TIME.

AND IF I'M NOT AT THE SHOP THEN IT'S SETTING ME UP FOR LIKE A DISASTER.

AND NEXT YEAR WITH EVERYTHING. SO...

WE'LL PAY YOU DOUBLE THE PRICE.

SURE.

YOU GOING TO HELP ME?

OF COURSE I'M GOING TO HELP.

HEY, CASS.

I CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW.

I'D REALLY LOVE ONE OF THOSE CUPCAKES AND A CHANCE TO TALK.

I RALLY DON'T HAVE ANY TIME. I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO.

I HAVE TO BAKE THESE THINGS. YOUR DIRECTOR OR WHATEVER YOU CALL HIM...

YOU HAVE TIME. YOU'RE GOOD.

WE GOT YOU COVERED.

PERFECT. WELL JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

IN MY TRAILER. WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT. IT'S AIR CONDITIONED.

HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME?

WHAT EXACTLY DID I LIE ABOUT?

YOU'RE A MOVIE STAR.

I DIDN'T LIE ABOUT THAT. JUST LEFT THAT PART OUT.

THAT'S THE SAME THING. EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME, IT'S NOT TRUE.

A.J. A.J.?

MY FRIENDS CALL ME A.J.

MY DAD'S NAME'S ALEX.

GROWING UP, I HELPED HIM DO PLUMBING JOBS, CARPENTRY STUFF.

I THOUGHT I WANTED TO BE AN ACTOR SO I MOVED OUT TO HOLLYWOOD

SO YOU FOUND THE NOBODY GIRL

AND JUST USED YOUR HANDIWORK STUFF ON ME.

NO. CASSIE, I--

I CAME HERE BECAUSE I WANTED TO GET AWAY FROM L.A.

I WANT TO GET AWAY FROM THE PAPARAZZI.

I WASN'T PLANNING ON MEETING ANYBODY.

AND DENVER TELLS ME CHECK OUT THIS CUPCAKE PLACE.

I WALK IN AND THERE YOU ARE.

AND FOR SOME REASON, YOU'RE THE ONE PERSON ON THE PLANET

WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHO I AM.

YOU MUST THINK I'M SUCH AN IDIOT.

NO. I THOUGHT YOU WERE AMAZING.

IT'S GREAT. I CAN BE THE GUY I USED TO BE.

THE ONE WHO FIXES GAS PIPES OR WATER DRIPPINGS.

SO YOU CAME HERE JUST FOR YOUR MOVIE. AND THEN WHAT?

YOU WERE JUST NEVER GOING TO COME BACK?

NO.

I GUESS I REALLY HADN'T THOUGHT THAT FAR THROUGH.

WELL, I NEED SOMEBODY THAT THINKS THOSE KIND OF THINGS THROUGH,

SOMEBODY THAT IS HONEST WITH ME, SOMEBODY THAT I CAN TRUST.

WAIT A SECOND. I'M NOT JARED.

WHAT ABOUT JARED?

I ASKED TRISHA, AND I MAY HAVE SEEN YOU GUYS TRADING OFF

YOUR DOG IN THE ALLEY.

THAT SOUNDS REALLY WEIRD.

YES. IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD.

THAT--

I REALLY LIKE YOU. AND I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER.

WELL, YOU CAN JUST KNOW THAT I'M NOBODY AND YOU'RE SOMEBODY.

AND THIS IS JUST NEVER GOING TO WORK.

WHAT? OH.

NO, DON'T. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING.

HE WAS DATING THREE GIRLS AT ONCE

AND NONE OF THEM KNEW ABOUT EACH OTHER?

HE USED TO GET INTO FIGHTS, LOTS OF THEM.

OH. OH, HE WAS ARRESTED MULTIPLE TIMES.

AND HE KNOCKED OUT HIS PAROLE OFFICER.

IT DOESN'T MATTER, OK. IT'S OVER. I TOLD YOU.

BUT HE'S TRYING TO CLEAN UP HIS ACT.

HE'S VOLUNTEERING AT A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL.

AND HE SAYS THAT HE'S HOPING FOR A SECOND CHANCE.

DUDES, GUESS WHO GOT A JOB AS AN EXTRA ON "THE LAST CHRISTMAS CAROL?"

I VISUALIZED THE JOB ON SET AND I GOT IT.

SAY HELLO TO VICTIM NUMBER TWO.

COOL. MOVE OUT NOW.

BABY STEPS.

WAIT. THIS IS PERFECT.

NOW ZACK CAN SPY ON ALEX.

EW.

WHOA. WHOA.

ONLY IF IT DOESN'T INTERFERE WITH MY METHOD.

NO. NOBODY'S SPYING ON ANYONE.

YOU GUYS, HE HAS A TWITTER ACCOUNT.

DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT!

"FEELING KIND OF BLUE. DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT ANYBODY.

BUT I LOST SOMEBODY IMPORTANT TO ME ANYWAY."

THE TIME STAMP IS 3:17PM.

ISN'T THAT WHEN HE LEFT HIS TRAILER?

OH, MY GOD. HE'S TALKING ABOUT YOU.

COME ON, WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO ME?

BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU.

AND?

SOMETIMES THERE IS NO "AND," CASS.

HEY.

I'M READING THAT.

SERIOUSLY? GUYS?

CASS, GIVE IT HERE.

ZACK, THIS IS MY LIFE.

ALL RIGHT, THE KITCHEN IS ON THE FRITZ AND WE ARE UNDERSTAFFED.

SO WHAT DO YOU WANT? CUPCAKE? THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT. CHOCOLATE. THANK YOU.

WHERE'S ZACK AND TRISHA?

DON'T KNOW. ZACK HAS A JOB AND TRISHA'S DOING MORE VISUALIZATION.

OOH. GAS VALVE'S ON THE FRITZ AGAIN?

YEAH.

OK. TAKE 10 PEOPLE. WE'RE GOING BACK.

HEY, WE'LL BE--

CASS?

WHAT?

LET ME HELP YOU.

NO, I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP.

I KNOW I HAVE SOME BAGGAGE, OK?

I'M SURE YOU'VE READ--

YEAH. YOU DO.

NOT EVERYTHING THEY WRITE IS TRUE.

OK. SO YOU DIDN'T GET WRITTEN UP FOR PROBATION

FOR FIGHTING AN AUSTRALIAN RUGBY TEAM?

OK. THAT ONE'S TRUE. BUT SOME OF THE OTHER AREN'T.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT. LOOK. I'M SORRY, OK?

I DIDN'T MEAN TO DECEIVE YOU.

BUT YOU NEED HELP HERE. SO LET ME HELP YOU.

OK. FINE. I NEED YOU TO LOOK AT THE SINK.

I NEED YOU TO LOOK AT THE OVEN.

I NEED YOU TO LOOK AT THE FRIDGE. IT'S ACTING UP AGAIN.

AND I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY NEED HELP

WITH THE CHRISTMAS WREATHS ON THE CUPCAKES.

WREATHS. I LOVE WREATHS. PERFECT. I WILL DO IT. ABUSE ME. I LIKE IT.

GO.

OK.

OK. OK. I HAVE TO GO.

WHOA. SHE'S SO HOT.

YOU DON'T GET TIRED OF CUPCAKES ALL THE TIME?

NO. IT'S THE NAME OF THE STORE AND IF IT SELLS, SELL IT.

I DON'T KNOW. I THINK YOU SHOULD TRY A SINFUL SNOWBALL.

NEVER KNOW. IT COULD BE LEGIT.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. WE'LL SEE.

HEY, CASS, SORRY I'M LATE.

HEY, I HAD A DREAM ABOUT THIS GUY LAST NIGHT.

HE WAS WEARING A BERET AND HE WAS PAINTING

SNOW-CAPPED FORESTS WITH BOB ROSS.

I MISS THAT LITTLE UNDERBITE. GIVE ME A KISS.

ALEX GRAY.

WHAT?

YEAH. ALEX, THIS IS JARED.

JARED, HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU, BUDDY.

YEAH.

I--I--

GOOD JOB ON YOUR LAST FILM. THAT WAS A COOL VAMPIRE MOVIE.

THANK YOU. APPRECIATE IT.

NO. MY FRIEND SAW IT. SAID THAT THE GIRL WAS REALLY GOOD IN IT.

THANK YOU.

QUESTION THOUGH FOR AN ACTOR.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE THE ABS, DO THEY REALLY PAINT THOSE ON?

SERIOUS QUESTION.

UM, WELL, I CAN'T SPEAK FROM--

MINE ARE REAL, YES.

I'LL LET YOU GUYS--

I'M JUST ASKING A LOT OF QUESTIONS.

I'VE NEVER MET A CELEBRITY BEFORE.

THAT'S CRAZY THAT YOU'RE HERE.

YEAH. THAT'S FUNNY.

HEY, COME HERE.

WHAT'S ALEX GRAY DOING IN YOUR KITCHEN?

'CAUSE I CAN HELP YOU GET HIM OUT OF HERE IF YOU WANT.

NO. THAT'S WEIRD. HE'S MY FRIEND.

SO LIKE WHAT KIND OF FRIEND?

LIKE A FRIEND. A FRIEND WITH BENEFITS?

HE'S FRIEND. HE'S A FRIEND FRIEND.

I'VE BEEN THINKING. I THINK THAT MAYBE I MADE A MISTAKE.

YOU KIDDING? OH, MY GOD. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.

HOLD ON. WAIT. THEN WE'LL TALK TOMORROW.

IT'S A DATE.

IT'S NOT A DATE.

IT'S DEFINITELY A DATE.

IT'S NOT. THAT'S SO WEIRD.

SEE YA. OH, MY GOD. THAT'S SO FUNNY.

YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME LAUGH.

THERE'S JUST SO MUCH HISTORY THAT WE HAVE.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

SEE YA.

SEE YA.

GOOD LUCK WITH STUFF.

YOU TOO, JARED.

WOW. THE GUY'S A TOOL.

WELL, AT LEAST HE DOESN'T FALL ASLEEP AT DOG PARKS.

YOU REALLY ARE LOOKING UP EVERYTHING ON ME, HUH?

SEARCH AWAY. JUST MEANS YOU'RE INTERESTED.

NO I'M NOT. I HAVE TO GO.

HOLD IT.

WASN'T A DOG PARK.

IT WAS MY NEIGHBOR'S FRONT LAWN.

HELLO, LITTLE CHILD. YOU WILL BE NEXT TO SIT ON SANTA'S LAP.

ARE YOU EXCITED?

NO, OF COURSE NOT. YOU THINK IT'S MY FIRST TIME, FRECKLE FACE?

HO, HO, HO.

AND WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, LITTLE MAN?

I WANT "CODE DEATH" AND "OPERATION: ANNIHILATION."

EVERYBODY GET DOWN!

I'M POLICE.

DENVER: CUT.

HEY, NICE JOB.

[INDISTINCT] CHANGED MY TIRE IN THE PARKING LOT TODAY.

FINALLY GOT HIS HANDS DIRTY.

SO MANDY WAS HITTING ON ALEX AT THE PARTY THE OTHER NIGHT.

HE TOTALLY SHUT HER OFF.

I MEAN, I HEAR HE'S INTERESTED IN SOMEBODY ELSE.

LUCKY HER, HE'S SO CUTE.

HE IS.

UNIVERSE, IF THIS IS YOU, YOU ARE SO NOT SUBTLE.

NO.

HEY, CASSIE, DELIVERY FOR YOU.

HEY, THANK YOU.

NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.

THERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

OH, HANDS OFF!

WHATEVER.

ALL RIGHT, THANKS.

OK. WHAT IS THIS?

YOU DESERVE SOME SPARKLE IN YOUR LIFE.

[GASP]

OK. SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW. WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

I'M GONNA GIVE IT BACK.

COME ON, AT LEAST GIVE IT TO CHARITY.

GIVE IT TO ME.

I'M NOT GIVING IT TO YOU. NO, NO, NO.

I'M GIVING IT BACK.

YOU ARE NO FUN AT ALL, I TELL YOU WHAT.

HELLO?

HEY.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

WHY WOULD YOU GET ME THIS?

BECAUSE GIRLS LIKE THAT.

NO. I AM NOT A MOVIE STAR WALKING ON A RED CARPET.

I'M A BAKER. I HAVE FLOUR, SUGAR ALL OVER ME 24/7.

THE LAST TIME I WORE A DRESS WAS AT MY AUNT'S WEDDING A YEAR AGO.

AND I'M... I'M GOING TO BAKE THEM.

THEY'RE DIAMOND EARRINGS. I'M GOING TO BAKE THEM.

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO HIT ME?

I'M SORRY. THIS IS REALLY NICE.

JUST TOO NICE FOR ME.

YOU'RE AMAZING.

I JUST THREATENED YOU PHYSICALLY WITH JEWELRY.

OTHER WOMEN I HAVE DATED HAVE BEEN

IMPRESSED BY EXPENSIVE THINGS.

BUT YOU ARE NOT LIKE OTHER WOMEN.

I'M SORRY. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.

UNH. I'M SORRY. I'VE BEEN TOTALLY CRAZY.

IT'S OK. BUT JUST KNOW THAT IT'S OK

TO LET SOMEONE ELSE DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU.

YOU DESERVE IT.

OK. BUT IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR ME,

GET ME A PLUMBER OR COMFY SHOES.

SINK FROM THE SHOP OUT AGAIN?

NO, IT'S AT MY HOUSE. AND I WANT TO TAKE A BATH

AND MY BROTHER'S CRAP'S ALWAYS IN THE TUB BECAUSE HE DOESN'T DO ANYTHING.

AND MY FEET HURT. AND YOU'RE CHARMING AND GORGEOUS.

YOU THINK I'M GORGEOUS.

YES. AND YOU STRESS ME OUT.

STRESS YOU OUT. OK. WHAT CAN I DO?

HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

YOU COULD--YOU COULD STOP BEING AWESOME.

AND I HAVE TO GO. I HAVE TO GO.

THANK YOU.

OH, MY GOSH, I'M ON A MOVIE SET. THIS IS CRAZY.

HI.

I HAD TO SHOW THEM MY ID. IT'S CRAZY.

HA HA. I FEEL FANCY.

SO, CASSIE, I'VE BEEN THINKING. WE SHOULD BE CREATIVE

WITH OUR GIFTS THIS YEAR. LET'S DO ARTS AND CRAFTS.

LET'S DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

UH, I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD DO ANYTHING THIS YEAR.

NOTHING?

GONZO, WHO WANTS A TUMMY RUB?

WHO WANTS A TUMMY RUB?

OH, HE LOVES TUMMY RUBS.

OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY THAT I KNOW THAT BECAUSE HE'S MY DOG.

HE'S CASSIE'S DOG, ISN'T HE?

YOU BROKE UP WITH HER.

I'M JUST CURIOUS HOW YOU HAVE A CLAIM OVER THE LITTLE GUY.

I'M STILL ATTACHED TO THE DOG, OK?

WE GO WAY BACK. WE HAVE HISTORY.

AND HE HAS FEELINGS TOO. AND I'M NOT JUST GOING TO RUN AWAY.

I GET IT. YOU FEEL STUPID ABOUT BREAKING UP WITH CASSIE.

AND YOU'RE USING THE DOG AS A WAY OF TRYING TO GET HER BACK.

WOW. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

AND YOU'RE ASSUMING ALL THIS STUFF. WHAT ARE YOU, MY SHRINK?

JUST CALLING IT LIKE I SEE IT.

ALEX--

I'VE KNOWN CASSIE FOR FOUR YEARS.

I'VE KNOW GONZO SINCE HE WAS A PUPPY.

YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR WHAT, A WEEK AND THREE DAYS?

HOW MANY WEEKS AND THREE DAYS ARE THERE IN FOUR YEARS?

OK. GUYS, PLEASE STOP.

PROBABLY LIKE 230-ISH.

TRUE.

DO THE MATH.

NEVER BEEN MY STRONG SUIT.

HEY, THERE'S A BASKETBALL COURT. YOU WANT TO PLAY SOME BASKETBALL WITH ME?

I'D LOVE TO PLAY.

REALLY?

YEAH!

ALL RIGHT, MAN.

I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN, SUPERSTAR.

ALL RIGHT, YOU READY?

HA HA. AM I READY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I ALWAYS COME READY, IDIOT!

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. I JUST CALLED YOU AN IDIOT.

I DON'T CARE IF THERE'S PEOPLE ON THIS SET THAT LIKE YOU.

I DON'T. LET'S PLAY, MAN.

YOU'RE GETTING RIDICULOUSLY CLOSE TO ME RIGHT NOW.

HOW CLOSE CAN I GET UNTIL IT GETS WEIRD, HUH?

YOU FEELING WEIRDED OUT RIGHT NOW?

DEFINITELY WEIRD.

LET'S TAKE IT OUT ON THE COURT, BUDDY.

LET'S DO IT. WE WON'T GET THAT CLOSE.

LET'S STRETCH FIRST TO BE SAFE.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE FAMOUS. YOU THINK YOU'RE UNTOUCHABLE.

I'M ABOUT TO TOUCH YOU ALL OVER, FOOL.

WHAT?

SHUT UP.

ALEX? ALEX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHO IS THIS GUY?

I SAY WE GO ONE ON ONE.

YEAH, HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?

WANT SOME MUSCLE? READY FOR THIS?

[CHATTER]

[CHEERING]

[CHEERING]

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?

WHERE'S CASSIE?

YOU HAVE NO CHANCE WITH HER, MAN.

YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT. BUT I'M NOT THE ONE WHO DUMPED HER.

NICE GOING, BUDDY.

YOU GOT LUCKY. HOME COURT ADVANTAGE.

TWO GUYS TRYING TO SHOW OFF FOR YOU.

SOUNDS KIND OF HOT.

YEAH, I GUESS IT WAS KIND OF HOT.

CASSIE DRAKE?

I'M MONIQUE AND I'M HERE TO MAKE YOU FEEL UNIQUE,

TO SOOTHE THOSE TIRED TOES AND SHOW YOU

SOME FABULOUS OPTIONS IN FOOTWEAR, GIRL.

OH, I...

WHAT IS THIS?

ALMOST FORGOT.

FROM SOMEONE SPECIAL.

YOU BETTER NOT THINK OF GIVING THIS ONE BACK.

I'M GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS.

WELL, COME ON, GIRL.

♪ SLEIGH BELLS ARE RINGING ♪

"KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR OPPORTUNITIES AND OPEN DOORS WILL FOLLOW."

DON'T BUY ANY OF THAT JUNK, ZACK.

OH, I'M NOT. IT'S JUST STUPID.

SO HEY.

I WAS THINKING, CHRISTMAS IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER.

AND I KNOW WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER THAT WELL,

IS THERE SOMETHING YOU THINK CASSIE MIGHT LIKE?

CASSIE'S A REALLY DIFFICULT PERSON TO SHOP FOR.

YEAH. I KNOW.

BUT EVERYONE NEEDS SOMETHING.

ZACK, WHAT DOES CASSIE NEED?

AN OFF BUTTON.

DUDE, THINK.

NO, FOR REAL. SHE'S ALWAYS SO BUSY RUNNING AROUND

HELPING EVERYBODY ELSE BUT HERSELF.

SHE NEVER REALLY GIVES HERSELF TIME TO RELAX.

I SEE THAT.

BUT GETTING BACK TO ME, WHAT I REALLY NEED IS A BIGGER CLOSET.

'CAUSE CASSIE'S BATHTUB IS TOO SMALL.

BATHTUB?

YEAH.

I GOT A LOT OF JUNK.

HEY, WANT TO JOIN US?

UH, NO. THANKS. I ACTUALLY CAN'T.

I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR THE WHOLE MANI/PEDI

AND THE SHOE GAL THING.

YOU GET A GOOD PAIR?

I DID. THANK YOU.

MY FEET FEEL FABULOUS.

WELL, YOU LOOK FABULOUS.

I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

I'M JUST REALLY GLAD THIS DIDN'T UPSET YOU THIS TIME.

NO. IT WAS REALLY THOUGHTFUL.

HEY, ZACK.

YO.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M GOING TO GET BACK TO THE CUPCAKE SHOP.

SEE YA.

SEE YA.

SO...

I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP YOU.

BUT...

I'D NEED ANOTHER LINE IN THE MOVIE.

DONE.

I MIGHT NEED TWO.

DONE.

I MIGHT NEED A LITTLE LOVE SCENE.

DON'T PUSH IT.

FIVE LINES AND YOU HELP ME WITH CASSIE?

DEAL.

YOU GET THAT? GIVE HIM FIVE LINES.

MAYBE A KISS.

HELLO, THERE.

HELLO.

WHAT'S GOING ON? ARE GOING ON ANOTHER RETREAT?

WHAT? NO. NOT GOING ON RETREAT.

THIS IS ZACK'S STUFF.

IS ZACK GOING ON A RETREAT?

ARE YOU READY?

ZACK: SEND HER UP, I'M READY.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME WITH ME?

AND OPEN.

WHAT?

WHAT? IS THIS REAL?

YEAH. THIS IS YOUR NEW BATHROOM NOW.

IT'S SO GIRLY IN HERE. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING TO PEE.

YOU SNEAKY GIRL.

ALEX.

THIS IS YOUR DAY OFF.

EXCUSE US.

YEAH. THANK YOU.

HEY. YOU HAPPY?

YEAH, I LOVE IT.

SO IS IT TRUE THAT YOU MET SKYLAR

BY SHOWING UP DRUNK AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY

AND THEN FACE-PLANTING INTO HER BIRTHDAY CAKE?

IT'S OK.

ONLY 70% OF THOSE ONLINE STORIES ARE TRUE.

THAT ONE IS 100% TRUE.

I WAS DRINKING A LOT BACK THEN.

AND THINKING THINGS THROUGH WAS KIND OF ALWAYS A PROBLEM FOR ME.

DUDE, SO BEEN THERE.

SO AFTER A FEW ROUNDS OF COURT-APPOINTED COUNSELING,

I GUESS YOU START ASKING YOURSELF

DO THEY LIKE ME FOR ME OR DO THEY LIKE ME BECAUSE I'M FAMOUS?

YOU'RE A COOL DUDE.

AND HEY, EVERYONE GOES ON A BENDER

AND DOES DUMB THINGS AT LEAST ONCE.

YEAH? WELL, LET'S HEAR IT, GUYS.

BECAUSE EVERYONE OF MY BAD DAYS IS SPLASHED ALL OVER THE INTERNET.

COME ON, DISH UP THE DIRT.

WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS GONE? WHAT'S THE WORST THING

THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? TELL YOU WHAT?

IF YOU GUYS SPILL, THE REWARD IS THE NEWLY FAMOUS SINFUL SNOWBALL.

BOTH: I WAS ARRESTED FOR STREAKING.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I DON'T KNOW.

HOW ABOUT THE TIME JARED DUMPED YOU?

YOU WERE PRETTY UPSET.

YOU THREW ALL HIS CLOTHES ON THE FRONT LAWN.

YEAH, MOST BREAKUPS ARE PRETTY DRAMATIC.

WHEN I GOT DUMPED, I FELT SOMEONE KICKED ME IN THE STOMACH

AND POURED GASOLINE DOWN MY THROAT.

COULDN'T EAT FOR WEEKS.

YEAH, I THINK THE MORNINGS WERE THE HARDEST FOR ME.

I'D GO THROUGH FEELING REALLY BITTER AND ANGRY.

AND...YOU KNOW, FEELING LIKE IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.

I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR ME.

DID YOU DELETE ALL THE PHOTOS OFF THE COMPUTER?

I DID. YES. I DID.

AND THEN FOUR MONTHS LATER THEY ARE IN THE TRASH.

RIGHT? THEY DON'T DELETE. YOU GOT TO DO IT TWICE.

AND THEY'RE STILL THERE.

BUT GOOD RIDDANCE, RIGHT?

MMM. INDEED. MOVING ON.

YOU'RE GOOD AT DISHES TOO, ARE YOU?

SO?

IT WAS SERIOUSLY AMAZING, THANK YOU.

I JUST...

WHAT?

I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASSUMED ANYTHING WITH YOU.

AND I JUST THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE SOMETHING ELSE

AND THAT THIS COULD NEVER WORK.

AND YOU MADE THAT SO HARD

BECAUSE YOU'RE REALLY NICE AND YOU DIDN'T RUN.

AND I DON'T KNOW, YOU KIND OF FIXED MY BATHTUB AND MY ENTIRE HOUSE.

SINFUL SNOWBALLS ARE HUGE AT MY STORE.

DUDE, I TOLD YOU.

I DON'T KNOW. I WANT TO START WITH NEW THINGS.

AND THAT'S GOOD OF YOU.

OK.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE YOU.

OH. OK.

WELL, I REALLY LIKE YOU TOO.

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY PEOPLE ARE PUTTING MY PHOTOS ON THE INTERNET.

I HAVE A REALLY BORING LIFE.

BUT, UH...THANK YOU. BECAUSE NOBODY HAS EVER DONE THIS FOR ME BEFORE.

SO IT'S REALLY NICE.

I LIKE DOING THINGS FOR YOU.

I KNOW IT HASN'T BEEN THAT LONG.

BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS HAPPY IN A LONG, LONG TIME.

ME TOO.

OK. I'M GOING TO LEAVE.

OK.

'CAUSE I WANT TO. BUT UH...

I WANT TO BE A GENTLEMAN.

OK. GOOD NIGHT.

SEE YA TOMORROW.

[GASP]

HEH HEH.

IT'S ALL GOOD, GUYS.

NIGHT.

BYE.

YOU'RE SO QUICK.

ALEX.

SKYLAR.

HI, BABY.

SURPRISE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M YOUR NEW CO-STAR.

WHAT?

OH, DON'T BE MAD. I MADE NOLAN PROMISE NOT TO SPILL

BECAUSE I WANTED TO TELL YOU MYSELF.

WHAT HAPPENED TO, UH--

SHE DECIDED TO GO AND DIG WELLS IN HAITI FOR CHRISTMAS.

SHE'S SO OUTREACH MINDED. I LOVE HER.

IS THIS SUGAR FREE?

YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I HAVE TO STAY HERE.

IT'S PART OF MY DEAL.

PLUS, THE REST OF THE HOTEL IS SOLD OUT BECAUSE...

BUT YOU AND I HAVE SO MUCH WE NEED TO CATCH UP ON ANYWAY.

CUT. BRILLIANT.

OOH.

LET ME HELP YOU UP THERE.

THIS IS SO MUCH COOLER THAN ANYTHING I COULD HAVE VISUALIZED.

YOU DID GREAT.

THANKS.

THANK YOU. HI. HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

HEY. YOU OK?

LOOK, I WAS GOING TO CALL YOU, BUT, YOU ONLY HAVE A CELL PHONE.

SKYLAR'S HERE.

YEAH, I KNOW. THEY CAST HER LAST NIGHT. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.

SKYLAR ST. JEAN,

YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND MOVIE STAR IS HERE.

CASSIE, SKYLAR DUMPED ME WHEN I PROPOSED TO HER, OK?

WHEN YOU PRO-- OH, MY GOD.

JUST BREATHE.

MS. SKYLAR, CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

OF COURSE YOU CAN.

WATCH THE PRESENT! JUMP!

WHOO!

UNH.

BREATHE.

HI, THERE.

HI.

LEXIE WAS WONDERING IF SHE COULD HAVE A COOKIE, PLEASE.

YEAH.

OF COURSE.

THANK YOU.

AND YOU MUST BE CASSIE.

YEAH.

AMAZING GLUTEN-FREE CHOCOLATE PEPPERMINT BARK.

SERIOUSLY.

THANKS.

HONESTLY, I WOULD LOVE TO SIT DOWN WITH YOU

AND TALK ABOUT SOME BRANDING OPPORTUNITIES.

THERE IS A HUGE MARKET FOR YOUR KIND OF GOODIES.

SKYLAR?

WHAT? YOU'D BE HER FIRST INVESTOR, RIGHT?

AND WITH ME ONBOARD, WE COULD ATTRACT ALL KINDS OF MONEY.

I'M JUST SAYING, WE SHOULD TALK.

THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE KIND OF WEIRD.

YES, DEFINITELY.

WHAT'S WEIRD ABOUT MAKING MONEY?

OH, HAVE YOU MET SARAH YET?

I HIRED HER FOR EVERYONE FOR THE REST OF THE SHOOT.

AND I AM SURE YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING YOUR LITTLE BUNS OFF BEHIND THE OVEN.

SO YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY TAKE ADVANTAGE. LET HER WORK HER MAGIC.

SHE'S AMAZING.

AND IT'S PROBABLY TIME FOR US TO GO MAKE THE MAGIC.

IT'S JUST MOVIE TALK. CASSIE, SO NICE TO MEET YOU.

READY, LEXIE? LET'S SKIP!

HERE WE GO! ♪ LA LA LA LA... ♪

SHE'S REALLY NICE.

YEAH, KIND OF. IN HER OWN WAY.

LOOK, CAN WE GO OUT TONIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO.

I DON'T REALLY--

I'M REALLY OVERWHELMED RIGHT NOW.

THIS WHOLE SKYLAR THING, IT'S OK, RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S OVER. THERE'S NOTHING BETWEEN US.

REALLY?

YOU LOOK REALLY CUTE IN THE SWEATER.

SEE YOU LATER.

SHE IS SO PRETTY. I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WERE TALKING TO HER.

DUDE, SHE'S AMAZING.

I KIND OF WANT TO TALK TO HER ABOUT THE UNIVERSE BOOK.

DO YOU THINK SHE'LL TALK TO ME ABOUT IT?

IS IT ST. JEAN OR SAINT JOHN.

JEAN.

ST. JEAN. JEAN.

JEAN.

FRENCH.

JEAN.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I CANNOT BELIEVE THE UNIVERSE IS OPENING THIS DOOR FOR ME RIGHT NOW.

YOU'RE SHITZING A LITTLE BIT.

YEAH, NO. YOU LOOK A LITTLE PEAKED. ARE YOU OK?

AM I SWEATING?

SKYLAR ST. JEAN IS AMAZING!

I'M PICTURING IT.

ROMANCE, MARRIAGE.

BABIES.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR.

GET THE DOOR, ZACK.

I DON'T WANT TO.

SO LAZY!

SLACKER.

BAKER.

HEY.

HEY.

I PICKED UP THOSE NOODLES YOU LIKE.

DUDE, THAT'S A TOTAL CHICK MOVE.

SHH!

HE'S RIGHT.

I CAN TELL YOU'RE BUSY.

OH, FLOUR ON MY FACE.

SO...I KNOW THINGS ARE KIND OF WEIRD WITH SKYLAR BEING HERE,

BUT...

IT'S FINE.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE THE ONE I WANT, RIGHT?

I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU.

SERIOUSLY. I'M LIKE IN LOVE WITH YOU.

COME ON! CAN YOU GO TO HIS PLACE?

NO. I'M BAKING.

YEAH. YOU KNOW FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, BE A MAN!

YOU GOT A MOVE OUT!

YEAH, MOVE OUT!

I SAW PICTURES OF HER.

I SAW PICTURES OF SKYLAR. HER BODY'S SO--

HER BODY'S REALLY GOOD.

STOP. STOP.

I CAN'T.

YOUR PERFECT.

SERIOUSLY, CLOSE THE DOOR.

GET OUT OF HERE!

HEY! [CLAMORING]

SERVING NUMBER 122.

WOW, I DIDN'T KNOW OUR NUMBERS WENT UP THIS HIGH.

ME NEITHER.

EVERYBODY, QUIET!

THANK YOU.

CASSIE,

YOU, YOUR BAKING, AMAZING.

THE CREW TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE GETTING SWAMPED.

SMALL BUSINESS. NEED SOME HELP, YES?

WHY?

GIRL POWER, SISTER!

COME ON, JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED.

THOUSAND HANDS YOU KNOW.

LEAVE IT TO ME.

♪ AND RED ICING BASE, AND RED ICING BASE ♪

THAT'S WHERE IT ALL STARTS.

BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL.

WONDERFUL. OOH, NICE ATTENTION TO DETAIL.

SANTA, THAT LOOKS A LITTLE BIT NAUGHTY.

CASSIE, WHAT DO WE DO NEXT?

GREEN TRIM AROUND THE TOP.

GREEN TRIM AROUND THE TOP.

GREEN TRIM AROUND THE TOP.

SPRINKLE. WONDERFUL. AND WE'VE GOT TWO MORE MINUTES.

TWO MORE MINUTES TO FINISH UP THESE CUPCAKES.

PEOPLE, LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN.

MAKE IT HAPPEN.

YOU'RE KIND OF AMAZING.

AH, THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, ONE OF MY FAVORITE ACTING TEACHERS

GAVE ME ONE HUGE PIECE OF ADVICE.

EVERYONE NEEDS DIRECTION.

I'M SORRY. I DON'T THINK I GOT YOUR NAME.

I--I'M ME. TRISHA.

TRISHA. IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU, TRISHA.

YOU, THE BOOK UNIVERSE.

TRISHA'S FAVORITE BOOK IS "HOW THE UNIVERSE OPENS YOUR DOORS."

AH! I LOVE THAT BOOK.

THE BOOK CHANGED MY LIFE. I MEAN IT COMPLETELY--RIGHT?

DID IT CHANGE YOURS?

YEAH.

EXACTLY.

YOU KNOW WHAT? WE SHOULD ALL GO

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING TOGETHER.

I'M REALLY BUSY.

IT'S KIND OF A LOT, YEAH.

YOU KNOW WANT? FIRST WE SHOP AND THEN,

MORE IMPORTANTLY, WE COCKTAIL.

I'M BUYING. I INSIST.

IT'S ALMOST CLOSING TIME.

EXACTLY.

SHE'S IN.

WHOO.

COME ON IN. COME ON IN.

CAREFUL, CAREFUL.

JUST SET THOSE ANYWHERE.

GREAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THIS PLACE IS SO COOL.

UM, CASSIE, JUST TWO THINGS.

WITH THE PAPARAZZI, YOU JUST WANT TO LOOK AT THEM AS AN ASSET, OK?

NOT LIKE THE ENEMY.

LIKE WHEN YOU DO THIS AND THROW THINGS.

I MEAN, JUST SISTER ADVICE. YEAH.

NOT THAT FLATTERING. 'CAUSE YOU'RE SO PRETTY.

UM, ANYWAY. I LEARNED SO MUCH FROM THE BOOK.

AND ACTUALLY IT WAS THE VISUALIZATION LESSON

THAT BROKE ME AND ALEX UP.

SO WHAT ABOUT VISUALIZATION WAS IT?

WELL, THIS IS GONNA SOUND CRAZY.

BUT WHEN ALEX PROPOSED, I RAN.

BECAUSE I COULDN'T VISUALIZE HIM BEHIND MY DOOR.

AND THAT'S CRAZY, RIGHT?

BECAUSE WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO MARRY ALEX GRAY?

BUT I DID NOT SEE IT.

SO...I RAN.

WHY--WHY COULDN'T YOU SEE IT REALLY?

WELL, HE WOULD...

HE WOULD LIE...

A LOT.

HE WOULDN'T CALL IT LYING. HE, UH...

HE CALLED IT. "I JUST DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT PART."

HMM. REALLY?

ING?

SO YOU, TRISHA, AND SKYLAR WENT CHRISTMAS SHOPPING?

WE DID.

THE PHOTO ARE ALL OVER THE INTERNET.

REALLY, ALREADY? THAT'S FAST.

WELCOME TO SKYLAR'S WORLD.

SHE NEVER MET ANYONE SHE COULDN'T CHARM.

AH.

AND THEN A BUNCH OF PHOTOGRAPHERS OR WHATEVER SHOWED UP.

THAT'S 'CAUSE SHE CALLED THEM AHEAD OF TIME.

WHAT?

LET 'EM KNOW WHERE SHE WAS GOING TO BE.

THAT'S HOW SHE WORKS.

HMM.

THAT'S WEIRD.

DUDE.

WHAT?

WHAT IS GOING ON BACK THERE?

YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T LIKE TO SEE YOURSELF ON THE INTERNET.

I DON'T.

CASSIE...

COME ON, GUYS.

IF I DIDN'T KNOW YOU BETTER, I'D SAY YOU WERE STARTING TO LIKE THE LIMELIGHT.

WHAT IS THIS?

WHAT?

THAT'S, UM...

BULL IS WHAT THAT IS.

THAT'S YOU, DUDE.

IT'S YOU AND SKYLAR.

GUYS, CAN YOU GIVE US A LITTLE BIT OF SPACE, PLEASE?

WHY WAS SKYLAR IN YOUR HOTEL ROOM?

CASSIE, WE'RE SHOOTING A MOVIE TOGETHER.

SHE CAME OVER TO READ LINES.

THAT'S IT. NOTHING HAPPENED.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I BELIEVED HER...

I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE SAID, BUT NOTHING HAPPENED.

OK. I KNOW HOW YOU HOLLYWOOD TYPES WORK.

IT'S DIFFERENT.

THIS STUFF IS ALL FABRICATED. YOU KNOW THAT.

NO. NO, I'M NOT GOING TO BE WITH SOMEBODY AGAIN

THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING BETTER THAN ME OUT THERE.

CASSIE!

CASSIE, WAIT!

LOOKS LIKE THAT'S A WRAP, HOLLYWOOD.

THE UNIVERSE IS CLOSING THIS DOOR.

SKYLAR.

ALEX GRAY ISN'T WORTH A DIME OF YOUR TIME.

BUT I AM. GET OVER.

ALEX GRAY'S NOT WORTH YOUR TIME, BUT I AM.

EXCUSE ME.

CARE FOR SOME SHADE?

OH.

IS THAT CASSIE'S JARED?

HOW DO YOU KNOW JARED?

TRISHA TOLD ME ABOUT THE CUSTODY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE DOG.

THEY LOOK SO HAPPY.

AND YOU DO NOT.

YEAH, MAYBE IT'S THE FAKE STORY YOU GAVE TO THE GOSSIP TRADES.

WHAT? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

OH, COME ON.

THIS HAS YOUR FINGERPRINTS ALL OVER IT.

WHY WOULD I DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

THE PRESS MAKES UP LIES BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE READERS WANT.

YOU KNOW THAT.

I ALSO KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ATTENTION.

I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY THINK

THAT I WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

WOW.

LOOK, I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

OK, I WILL GO DOWN AND TALK TO JARED RIGHT NOW

AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT KIND OF COMPETITION YOU HAVE WITH CASSIE.

BUT I CAN HONESTLY TELL YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO WIN, HANDS DOWN.

SKYLAR, I THINK YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH.

OK, I DON'T NEED YOUR--

HELP.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT MEN ARE BAD AT, RIGHT?

ASKING FOR HELP.

WELL, HI THERE. LITTLE CUTIE--

[SNAPS]

OH!

SORRY. HE NORMALLY DOES NOT ATTACK BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.

OH, IT'S FINE. I'LL JUST...

YOU'RE SKYLAR ST. JEAN.

I AM. HI.

HI.

PLEASURE.

YES. BIG FAN.

THANK YOU.

YEAH, I'VE WATCHED A LOT OF YOU FILMS.

REALLY?

I USED TO HAVE YOUR POSTERS UP IN MY ROOM.

I'M FLATTERED. WHAT A CHARMER YOU ARE.

NOW IS THIS CASSIE DRAKE'S DOG?

YES. WELL, IT'S OUR DOG. WE HAVE JOINT CUSTODY.

RIGHT. BECAUSE YOU ARE--

I CAN'T BELIEVE SKYLAR ST. JEAN IS ASKING MY NAME.

I'M JARED.

JARED.

YEAH.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU USED TO BE WITH CASSIE. IS THAT CORRECT?

YOU UNDERSTAND CORRECTLY.

BUT NOW SHE'S WITH ALEX.

UNFORTUNATELY.

DON'T YOU THINK THAT YOU SHOULD BE WITH CASSIE?

I THINK THAT I SHOULD BE WITH CASSIE, YES.

RIGHT. SO LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT.

OK.

SO...

EVERYONE LIKES CHRISTMAS. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

...OVER THE HOLIDAYS.

I DON'T NEED CHRISTMAS.

WHAT I NEED... IS INFORMATION.

HEY.

CUT.

LET'S SHOOT THIS, PEOPLE.

HERE.

SO I HAD A PRETTY INTERESTING TALK WITH CASSIE'S JARED YESTERDAY.

SKYLAR, I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF IT.

DON'T WORRY. HE DIDN'T SUSPECT A THING.

I MEAN, REALLY WE JUST TALKED ABOUT--

WELL...

ALL RIGHT, HE WANTS CASSIE BACK.

YOU NEED TO STOP.

LISTEN, IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

OK? THEY HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR YEARS, FIRST OF ALL.

SECOND OF ALL, THEY'RE FROM THE SAME ADORABLE TOWN.

THEY AGREED TO SHARE A DOG, WHICH I THINK REALLY IS

JUST AN EXCUSE FOR THEM TO STAY NEAR ONE ANOTHER.

YEAH, WELL, CASSIE WOULD NEVER TAKE JARED BACK.

HE DUMPED HER. TREATED HER LIKE GARBAGE.

YES. IT'S HARD TO COME BACK WHEN TRUST HAS BEEN BROKEN, ISN'T IT?

BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE CAN BE WRONG.

AND TRUST CAN BE REBUILT.

ESPECIALLY IF TWO PEOPLE WANT THE SAME THING.

SKYLAR!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

AHEM. HOW AS THAT, NOLAN?

THAT WAS VERY GOOD.

WOMAN: MAKE UP, LAST LOOKS PLEASE.

CASSIE.

CASSIE, WE WERE REHEARSING.

CASSIE, YOU KNOW WHAT A REHEARSAL IS.

ALEX, FOCUS. FOCUS. HERE. NOW.

YEAH, I KNOW.

YOU LOOK GOOD TOGETHER.

KNOCK KNOCK.

HOPE YOU DON'T MIND. I HAD A COPY MADE.

I GUESS WE'RE NOT REHEARSING THEN.

YOU'RE DRINKING.

YES.

I'M DRINKING. BUT I'M NOT DRUNK.

CASSIE, WON'T EVEN TALK TO ME.

AND SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE A WORD I'M SAYING.

AND I LOVE HER BUT SHE DOESN'T TRUST ME.

OK. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

GOD, THIS TASTES AWFUL.

TAKE IT SLOW. SIT DOWN.

I'M A GOOD GUY. YOU KNOW,

BUT NO ONE BELIEVES THAT ABOUT ME.

THEY SEE A DRUNK, A MESS.

THAT IS NOT TRUE.

YOU ARE A GOOD GUY. YOU ARE A GREAT GUY.

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN...

WAIT. WAIT. WHOA.

I'M NOT THAT DRUNK.

OW. THANKS A LOT.

IT'S CASSIE.

SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU. I DO.

DOESN'T MATTER. I LOVE HER.

AND I KNOW I PROBABLY DON'T HAVE A CHANCE WITH HER.

THAT'S OK. YOU CAN LOVE HER.

IT DOESN'T MATTER. I'M OK WITH THAT.

JUST DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, OK?

CASSIE: HELLO. ALEX?

CASSIE?

CASSIE!

CASSIE.

HEY.

I WAS JUST GOING TO COME OVER AND TALK TO YOU.

BUT OBVIOUSLY.

YEAH, IT'S REALLY NOT A GOOD TIME RIGHT NOW.

ALEX HAS BEEN DRINKING.

CASSIE, THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS, OK?

NEVER IS.

CASSIE.

CASSIE, WAIT.

CASSIE!

OK. EVERYBODY, THE STORY IS CLOSED.

I'M CLOSING THE DOOR.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS. GOOD NIGHT. OH.

GO HOME.

GO AWAY.

GO.

I'M STRONG. I'M SO STRONG.

YOU ARE STRONG.

I KNOW IT SOUNDS REALLY CLICHE,

I REALLY WANT TO EAT MY WAY THROUGH THIS HEARTBREAK.

I WANT TO EAT ALL OF THIS.

NO, YOU DON'T.

I DO. NO, I WANT TO EAT IT.

THIS CHOCOLATE IS GOING TO BE SO GOOD.

NO, SPIT IT OUT. SPIT IT OUT. SPIT! SPIT IT OUT.

SPIT IT OUT. SPIT IT OUT.

OK.

I'M GOING TO TELL SKYLAR ST. JEAN THAT I REALLY LIKE HER.

AND THEN SHE'LL KISS ME LIKE I'VE SEEN THROUGH MY UNIVERSE DOOR.

AND THEN ALEX WILL BE FREE FOR CASSIE AGAIN.

AND IT'LL BE A WIN-WIN. AM I RIGHT?

KNOCK IT OFF, ZACK.

JARED WOULDN'T DO THIS TO ME.

YEAH, BUT JARED'S LAME.

JARED WANTS ME. HE WANTS ME BACK.

I CAN'T TRUST ALEX. BUT ALEX MAKES ME FEEL REALLY GOOD.

BUT JARED WANTS ME NOW.

AND IF I JUST-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO.

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T READ THE UNIVERSE BOOK.

JARED.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I PROMISE I'M NOT GOING TO BE THE BEST DANCER

AND THAT I'M GOING TO MESS UP.

OK.

BUT I'LL ALWAYS DO MY BEST.

OK. YOU CAN TRY.

YEAH?

YEAH.

OW.

OK. THAT'S ONE.

TOLD YOU. HOW ABOUT THREE?

I GET THREE. IF I STEP ON YOU THREE TIMES,

YOU THROW ME IN THE LAKE.

I WANT YOU BACK.

I DON'T KNOW.

I CAN'T. I CAN'T DO THIS.

TALK TO ME.

JUST TELL ME WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW.

I CAN'T DO THIS. I CAN'T DO THIS.

CASSIE.

DUDES, TODAY'S THE DAY.

TODAY, I'M GOING TO MAKE THE MOVE ON SKYLAR.

LAST DAY OF FILMING?

NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT.

UH-OH.

HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

EVERYONE GATHER AROUND, GATHER AROUND.

CASSIE AND HER CREW ARE HERE FOR OUR LAST DAY.

I THINK WE SHOULD LET THEM KNOW WHAT WE THINK ABOUT THAT, HUH?

[CLAPPING]

THANKS, GUYS. I JUST UM...

YOU GUYS MAKE ME FEEL REALLY SPECIAL.

I'M JUST A BAKER SO...

YOU KNOW, BUT I FEEL LIKE A MOVIE STAR.

BUT UH...

SO ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANKS, NOLAN. YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, WISH ME LUCK.

OK. UM.

WHERE'S HE GOING?

HE'S GOING TO GO MAKE THE MOVE ON SKYLAR.

AND HE IS SO GOING TO CRASH AND BURN.

SKYLAR.

WAIT.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

IT'S TIME TO TELL AMERICA'S SWEETHEART HOW IT IS.

WHAT?

YEAH.

LET'S DO THIS.

THE THING IS, SKYLAR,

I SEE YOU IN MY DOOR, A UNIVERSE DOOR.

SKYLAR, YOU AND I NEED TO TALK.

OH, MY GOD. WHAT?

CAN IT, ZACK. SHE PROBABLY THINKS YOU'RE A STALKER.

YOU DON'T DO YOU?

OK. I ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T THINK THAT I COULD COMPETE

WITH AMERICA'S SWEETHEART.

I MEAN, NOT SOMEBODY THAT WAS THAT SWEET

OR THAT NICE OR THAT FRIENDLY.

I MEAN, NOT EVEN YOU CAN, RIGHT?

BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY, GOOD FOR YOU. YOU WIN.

YOU'VE GOT ALEX. YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING YOU WANT.

AND I'M JUST ME. I'M A SUCCESSFUL BAKER.

I AM THE WORLD'S GREATEST DOG OWNER.

I'M A GOOD FRIEND. I'M A GREAT SISTER.

I'M NOT A NOBODY, OK? I'M JUST ME.

CASSIE, NOTHING HAPPENED WITH ME AND ALEX.

WHAT ABOUT IN THE HOTEL ROOM? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YES, I WANTED ALEX BACK. OK? I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET HIM BACK.

I TOLD THE PAPARAZZI WHERE I'D BE.

I TOLD THE PAPARAZZI WHERE YOU AND JARED WOULD BE.

WHATEVER. HE TURNED ME DOWN.

OK. I THREW MYSELF AT HIM, AND HE TURNED ME DOWN.

I DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. OK?

HE WOULDN'T BUDGE.

BECAUSE HE WANTS YOU.

SO YOU THREW YOURSELF ON HIM, AND HE TURNED YOU DOWN?

YES. YES.

WHY?

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT ME.

HE WANTS YOU.

WELL, I GOT TO GO.

GO!

I'M NOT A STALKER, YOU KNOW.

NO, I KNOW. I'VE HAD STALKERS BEFORE. YOU'RE WAY TOO PASSIVE.

PASSIVE?

WOW.

NOT PASSIVE.

UH...

YOU GUYS.

CASSIE NEEDS OUR HELP. WE NEED TO GO.

RIGHT AWAY.

IS THIS IS CHASE?

I LOVE CHASES.

HEY! ALEX! ALEX!

HE'S NOT AT THE HOTEL.

THE HOSPITAL HASN'T SEEN HIM.

I JUST KEEP GETTING HIS VOICEMAIL.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, CASS?

I DON'T KNOW. UNIVERSE, OK. I'M SAYING IT.

I'VE BEEN REALLY, REALLY HARSH ABOUT YOUR BOOK.

AND THE WHOLE OPEN DOOR THING AND THE WHOLE CLOSED DOOR THING.

AND I'VE BEEN MOCKING YOU FOR FOREVER

AND ALL MY FRIENDS REALLY BELIEVE IN YOU, BUT...

I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELP ME.

I'M JUST GOING TO SAY I LOVE HIM, BECAUSE I LOVE HIM.

YOU LOVE HIM?

YOU LOVE HIM?

YEAH. I LOVE HIM.

I'M SAYING IT OUT LOUD BECAUSE I LOVE HIM.

OH, MY GOSH. ISN'T THAT WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT?

RIGHT? OH MY GOSH. IF YOU'RE GOING TO HELP ANYBODY HELP ME, PLEASE!

OK! OK.

MY SOURCES TELL ME THAT SECOND UNIT IS SHOOTING THE LAST SCENE OF THE MOVIE AT THE LAKE.

SOURCES?

WHAT?

YOU TALK TO THE UNIVERSE?

NO. OF COURSE NOT.

THE PAPARAZZI.

[CHEERING]

WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING? THE LAKE'S THIS WAY!

OH.

IT'S DONE.

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

ALEX!

CUT. CUT.

CASSIE.

HI.

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T BELIEVE YOU ABOUT SKYLAR.

I TOLD YOU I WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.

YEAH, WELL, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ANYTHING?

SO YOU'RE NOT WITH JARED?

I'M NOT WITH SKYLAR.

SO...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT FOR CHRISTMAS EVE?

HMM. NOTHING.

HANGING OUT WITH YOU?

SO, SKYLAR ST. JEAN.

YES.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR CHRISTMAS EVE?

OH, I HAVE TO CATCH A FLIGHT TO LONDON ACTUALLY.

RINGING IN CHRISTMAS WITH THE ROYALS.

DO YOU WANT TO COME WITH?

UH, WELL, ACTUALLY I WAS WONDERING

IF MAYBE YOU'D WANT TO LOW-KEY IT HERE WITH US OR ME.

REALLY?

YEAH.

OH, ZACK.

OH, SKYLAR.

OH, UNIVERSE, THIS IS ONE SAPPY DOOR.

HMM.

YES, MOSTLY GENIUS.

THAT IS THE BEST ENDING I'VE EVER SEEN.

YOU, YOU'RE HIRED.

WARDROBE, GET HER IN A COSTUME.

THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.

UH, YEAH.

YEAH.

MAN: NOLAN DENVER IS PROUD TO PRESENT...

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT CHRISTMAS.

THE SCREEN'S GREATEST ACTION HERO...

ALEX GRAY IS DET. AXEL SLADE.

THE ONLY MAN...

AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

WHO STANDS BETWEEN CHRISTMAS

AND SANTA'S MOST DEADLY ASSASSIN.

SKYLAR ST. JEAN...

EVERYBODY GET DOWN!

I'M POLICE.

AND ALEX GRAY ARE HEATING UP THE SCREEN IN...

I DON'T NEED CHRISTMAS.

WHAT I NEED IS INFORMATION.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE. THE USUAL?

SEE YOU LATER.

I'M SORRY I'M LATE.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEWS?

WHAT?

OH, YEAH. "THE LAST CHRISTMAS CAROL" JUST TOPPED THE BOX OFFICE

FOR THE THIRD WEEK IN A ROW.

♪ THEY'RE TALKING SEQUEL, THEY'RE TALKING SEQUEL ♪

I'M GONNA ASK FOR A BIGGER PART.

MAYBE BAD GUY NUMBER TWO?

YOU'D BE AMAZING.

ALL RIGHT, HONEY, CHIMNEY'S FIXED, READ FOR SANTA.

YOU HEAR THE NEWS?

ABOUT THE SEQUEL, YEAH.

BUT I TOLD NOLAN I'M ONLY GOING TO DO IT IF WE SHOOT HERE.

HERE?

OF COURSE. THIS IS THE HOUSE OF THE BEST DAMN CUPCAKES IN THE WORLD.

AND HOME TO SOMEBODY ELSE.

JUST SOMEBODY HUH?

SOMEBODY I LOVE A LOT.