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00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,930
(MAN COUGHS, SNIFFLES)
2
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,474
(PAGES SHUFFLING)
3
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,768
LAWYER: Please state your name
for the record.
4
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:19,770
Stan Marsh.
5
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,523
- (PAGE TURNS)
- LAWYER: And, uh, Mr. Marsh,
6
00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:25,275
you were involved in
the streaming wars, is that correct?
7
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:29,112
We made stuff
for streaming services, yes.
8
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,658
And how do you know
the defendant in this case?
9
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,912
She's the mother
of my f... acquaintance.
10
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,290
When you made your deals
for streaming services,
11
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:43,585
you sort of leveraged them
against each other, didn't you?
12
00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:45,629
That is correct.
13
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,090
And now the streaming bubble
has burst,
14
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:51,260
and your own father is in hiding,
isn't that correct?
15
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,720
My dad is missing, that is correct.
16
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,889
What exactly was your job
17
00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:58,058
in making
these little popsicle stick boats
18
00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,518
for streaming services?
19
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,146
Um, my job was to eat the popsicles.
20
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:06,149
And the people who paid you
didn't care what you made?
21
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:07,901
Well, if you look at it,
only about a fourth
22
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,070
of what's on most streaming services
is really worth a shit, so...
23
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,238
Oh, sorry.
24
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,824
Do you know
what an "exclusive deal" is?
25
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,993
Yes, I know what an exclusive deal is.
26
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,954
So, if you make an exclusive deal
with a streaming service,
27
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,539
you can't make an exclusive deal
28
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,082
with another streaming service,
can you?
29
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,251
It's not our fault that
the streaming wars happened!
30
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,253
So, then why not
just give back the money?
31
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,171
- We can't!
- Why not?
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00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,924
'Cause the money
is all in Cartman's fucking tits!
33
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,968
- (GALLERY GASPING)
- (GAVEL BANGING)
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00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,432
CARTMAN: Ms. Cartman,
you and your son live in a hot dog,
35
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:39,516
is that correct?
36
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,560
Yes, Eric, you know that's correct.
37
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,229
And your son wanted you
to get fake tits
38
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,356
so that the rich guy across the street
would let you live with him,
39
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,899
but you refused, is that right?
40
00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,526
That's right.
41
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,154
So when I said, "If you
don't get fake tits, I will,"
42
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,822
you just told me to go ahead.
43
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,117
Yes, because I'm sick
of you doing extreme things
44
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,410
to get your way.
45
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,954
So you refused,
even though tons of women
46
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,331
get fake breasts all the time.
47
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,333
Your Honor, I'd like
to introduce Exhibit D,
48
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,084
tons of women with fake tits.
49
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,840
Tom, I'm standing outside
the courthouse
50
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:15,218
where the judge has just thrown out
the Cartman v. Cartman case.
51
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:18,263
The judge said, quote,
"You're all a bunch of shitheads.
52
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,723
"Get out of my courtroom."
53
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,683
Just proof once again, Tom,
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00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,895
that streaming services
have made everything suck.
55
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,398
(YOU DON'T MISS YOUR WATER
BY OTIS REDDING PLAYING)
56
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:38,241
(SINGING)
In the beginning
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00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,871
You really loved me, oh
58
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:48,919
I was too blind
59
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:52,839
I could not see, now
60
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:57,052
But now that you left me
61
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:02,891
Oh, how I cried, I keep crying
62
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,437
You don't miss your water
63
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,858
Till your well runs dry
64
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,529
‘Kay, Mom, well, I hope
you learned your lesson.
65
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:19,074
So, maybe now, will you get fake tits
so I can get these stupid things out?
66
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,451
No, Eric! No!
67
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,497
(SINGING)
I never thought, no
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00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,581
Can I get a Frosty?
69
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:32,003
(SINGING)
I never thought you'd ever leave me
70
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:37,300
But now that you've left me
71
00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:42,931
Good Lord, good Lord, how I cried
72
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,268
You don't miss your water
73
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,520
You don't miss your water
74
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:52,149
Till your well runs dry
75
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:56,319
Ooh, you don't miss your water
76
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,613
You don't miss your water
77
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:02,826
Till your well runs dry
78
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:07,205
I miss my water
I keep missing my water...
79
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,166
Oh, shit, it's Karen!
80
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,168
- What?
- (OTHERS GASPING, MURMURING)
81
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,170
Come on. Go, kids, go.
82
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,177
What... what happened?
83
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:25,766
- Wow, it's the real thing.
- We gotta go!
84
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,643
(SIREN WHOOPS)
85
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,899
There! You see? Karen is right there!
86
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,027
Okay, okay, everyone back...
just stay back!
87
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,697
All right, Karen.
We don't want any trouble.
88
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:42,657
Huh?
89
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,951
It doesn't have to be like this,
Karen.
90
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,870
Let us get you some help.
91
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:50,248
Can... can someone
please tell me what's going on?
92
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,376
Is there, like, a manager
I can speak to somew... (GRUNTS)
93
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,504
(STAMMERS, EXHALES)
94
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:57,798
Karen's clear!
95
00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,341
Move in!
96
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,471
(MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY)
97
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,855
SERGEANT LOU: Just relax.
98
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,234
I need to know
what you remember, Karen.
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00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,237
I started a streaming service
100
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:23,365
to compete with the weed farm
across the street.
101
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,575
And some guy died.
102
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,118
That's right.
103
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:30,413
Do you know where the owner
of Credigree Weed is now?
104
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:31,915
No.
105
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,917
The streaming wars got out of hand.
106
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:37,337
Your rival here somehow got
ManBearPig to work for him
107
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,880
and murder the competition.
108
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,298
You went down
109
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,759
to the Colorado State
Water Commission's office.
110
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,719
You asked to speak with the manager.
111
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,722
And then you went full nuclear Karen.
112
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,891
"Full nuclear Karen"?
113
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,395
SERGEANT LOU:
You went ballistic on everybody.
114
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,355
- MAN: Okay...
- Call the cops, god damn it,
115
00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,898
if you don't like me over here.
116
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,817
- Fucking call ‘em!
- MAN: Okay. Karen.
117
00:05:58,900 --> 00:05:59,901
Motherfucker!
118
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,736
- Go back to Mexico.
- WOMAN: Listen. I said...
119
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:05,031
- I said "excuse me."
- Go! Go back wherever you're from!
120
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,533
SERGEANT LOU: You traveled
all over the state
121
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:07,617
- and demanded to see...
- He's the one...
122
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,952
- ...everyone's managers.
- He's the one that went off.
123
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,537
Oh, God...
124
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,122
I don't have a right to be here?
125
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,207
Outside the state office in Denver,
you caused a 20-car pileup.
126
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,459
- Huh? Call a manager now!
- Five people were severely injured.
127
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,045
And then you attacked the airport.
128
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:22,966
I want the manager
of the fucking airport here!
129
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:26,094
Who's tellin' me to... (SHRIEKING)
130
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,805
I want the manager
of the airport here!
131
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,725
And then the same thing happened
in Madrid.
132
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:35,604
Who is the manager
of this fucking shithole?
133
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,314
- SERGEANT LOU: In Bangladesh...
- (NO AUDIO)
134
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,899
...and in the mountains of Tibet.
135
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,568
And I'm sorry, Karen, but...
136
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,195
I'm afraid all of this has become
137
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,448
the most watched videos on YouTube.
138
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,575
No.
139
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:08,738
Tolkien...
140
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:09,948
What are you doing here?
141
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,283
I'm looking for something, all right?
142
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,787
- Looking for what?
- Anything.
143
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,832
I don't know! People are saying
that my dad caused all this.
144
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,583
That he's hiding
because he knows he's guilty.
145
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:21,793
I know that's not true.
146
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,170
What does that have to do with
147
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,964
the rich guy who lived here
moving away?
148
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,718
The guy who lived here
didn't move away. He was killed.
149
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,138
What?
150
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,640
I know that my dad
wouldn't just run and hide!
151
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,559
What if he needs me right now?
152
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,770
Tolkien, I wanted the guy
who lived here to be my dad.
153
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,480
Who would have killed him?
154
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:56,161
(SLURPING)
155
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:00,749
Okay, I'm done.
156
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,500
All right,
then put your plate in the sink
157
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,085
and march right on upstairs!
158
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:05,336
Maybe the next time
159
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,255
you decide to pit streaming services
against each other
160
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:09,132
and cause a drought,
you'll think twice.
161
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:12,302
I want no playing, no reading
and no thinking about fun stuff.
162
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,179
You are being grounded.
163
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,266
It's not my fault streaming services
paid people more
164
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,268
than was sustainable
in any business model.
165
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,020
- Butters.
- (YELLS)
166
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,104
Shh! Butters, stop.
167
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,231
Eric! You can't be in here,
I'm grounded.
168
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,691
We've been set up, Butters.
169
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,193
- What?
- The whole streaming wars!
170
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,486
The whole thing was a lie!
171
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,029
Eric, is that a real gun?
172
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,198
Fuck yes, it's a real gun.
Butters, listen to me.
173
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,741
Someone bought up all the water
174
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,451
and murdered anyone
who got in their way.
175
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,286
- No...
- Yes, Butters.
176
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,330
Someone worked with
the Colorado water commissioner
177
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,498
and cheated the system.
178
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,542
The same person who is now using
climate change to make a profit!
179
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:45,794
Who?
180
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,378
It didn't make sense to me.
181
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,380
Why my mom was being so stubborn.
182
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,216
Why she wouldn't do what I asked.
183
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,093
But then I saw Tolkien
across the street
184
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:54,302
and I figured it out...
185
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:56,846
Tolkien is fucking my mom.
186
00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,599
Tolkien!
187
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:00,934
I wanted my mom to get fake tits
188
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,852
so she could marry the rich guy
across the street.
189
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,522
Now that guy is dead
and my mom is acting strange.
190
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,774
The only explanation
is that she's fucking Tolkien
191
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,025
and they don't want me to know!
192
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,402
But, Eric, Tolkien was making
the boats with us, he...
193
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:14,572
Butters, Butters. My eyes are up here.
Stop staring at my tits.
194
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,032
Oh, sorry.
195
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,326
There's a bad guy out there
getting away with murder, Butters.
196
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,036
And we have to catch him.
197
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,167
Good people of Denver,
198
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,837
we are living through a horrible time.
199
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:32,257
This drought, it...
it affect everybody.
200
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:35,552
It affect me, my waterpark.
201
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:41,599
But I have a plan
to not only reopen my waterpark,
202
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:46,062
but also help all of Colorado
with their water supply problem.
203
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:51,109
So, if you don't mind,
I'd like to show you my deck.
204
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,443
(GRUMBLING)
205
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:53,736
- Oh, Christ.
- No.
206
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:59,242
This is the business proposal deck
for the Pi Pi streaming service!
207
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,035
- Oh...
- Oh, that's okay.
208
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,206
In just a few days,
I will reopen my waterpark
209
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,918
which will now run on 100% pee!
210
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:13,840
And then, we can collect
half of the pee every day
211
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,426
and send it out
to the people of Denver
212
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,679
and all over Colorado
for their daily use.
213
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,765
I'm sorry, Mr. Pi Pi,
214
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,101
but I really don't think
we'll be able to get people
215
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,353
to invest in your streaming service.
216
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,439
No, no, no, it's okay!
217
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,859
Because I got the biggest celebrities
218
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,111
who made a commerci for crypto
219
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,113
to make the commerci for me!
220
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,243
We are living in a severe drought.
221
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,495
There simply isn't a choice anymore,
222
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:47,123
we have to find
alternate sources for water.
223
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,542
Hi, I'm Matt Damon.
224
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,337
You've heard me talk about
the wonders of cryptocurrency,
225
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,882
and now there's a company
who can give us that new source.
226
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:57,967
Pi Pi water.
227
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:00,386
Pee can be used for almost anything.
228
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,055
We can water our lawns with it.
229
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,349
We can also use urine
for our shower water.
230
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,851
(GROANING)
231
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,519
Fortune favors the brave.
232
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:09,896
And a brave person knows
233
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,649
that pasta cooked in pee water
tastes just fine.
234
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,946
(GAGGING)
235
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:19,656
Okay, hold on.
236
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,866
(GAGGING)
237
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,451
(QUICKLY) Fortune favors the brave.
238
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,370
(COUGHS, GAGS)
239
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,581
Did you know frozen pee can
make for a delicious summer treat?
240
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,961
(GAGGING)
241
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,338
Okay.
242
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,507
(GAGGING)
243
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,217
Fortune favors the brave.
244
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:41,636
And pee water
actually pairs really well
245
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:42,971
with an Impossible Burger.
246
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,850
(GAGGING)
247
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,020
(CROAKING) Fortune...
248
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,356
(QUIETLY) Fortune favors the brave.
249
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,358
(GAGGING)
250
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:56,818
Fortune favors the br... (GAGS)
251
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,699
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Go pee! With Pi Pi+.
252
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,826
MATT DAMON: (OVER VIDEO) ...for water.
253
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:06,494
- Hi. I'm Matt Damon.
- Dad?
254
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,539
You've heard me talk about
the wonders of cryptocurrency,
255
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:13,209
and now there's a company
who can give us that new source.
256
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:14,794
Pi Pi water.
257
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,921
- You okay?
- Pee can be used for almost anything.
258
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,965
- What have I become, Stan?
- We can water our lawns with it.
259
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,300
- How did I just sit by...
- We can also use urine...
260
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,593
- ...and let the world sink to this?
- ...for our shower water.
261
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,388
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
262
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:26,889
(GROANING SOFTLY)
263
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:28,308
(GAGS)
264
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,271
I used to be a scientist.
265
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,315
Do you remember that?
266
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,319
I was the one who warned the town
about a volcano.
267
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,572
I warned them
about The Day After Tomorrow.
268
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:47,327
And then... it all became about weed.
269
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,246
When did that happen, Stan?
270
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,166
I guess we all just got greedy, Dad.
271
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,879
I wanted to be a scientist
because scientists solve problems.
272
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,591
Do you even know
what kind of geologist I was, Stan?
273
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,092
No.
274
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,387
I was a "fluvial geomorphologist."”
275
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:10,433
Someone who studies the changes
in streams and rivers.
276
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,353
And when the town needed me most...
277
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,356
I was just out bitching
because all I cared about
278
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,774
was getting high and rich.
279
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,943
I can't even remember the old me.
280
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,951
(SINGING)
There was a boy I used to know
281
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:31,621
With dreams as big
as the fire in his heart
282
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:34,665
He grew to be a man of such good will
283
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,835
Always so patient, always so smart
284
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:40,463
He had so much, but he threw it away
285
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:43,466
Somewhere along he got off track
286
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,469
But today he's making
the change for good
287
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:49,514
And now that man is coming back
288
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,016
Oh, we missed you, Randy
289
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,144
Where have you been?
290
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,897
It seems such a long time
291
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:01,150
Since we've seen our old friend
292
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,653
Everyone needs you, Randy
293
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,031
Where did you go?
294
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,325
It's like you just became a one-note
295
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:12,078
Overwrought part of the show
296
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:16,999
Here I am trying to make it right
297
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:20,711
Gonna take my life back
with my baby tonight
298
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:23,381
- Oh, we missed you, Randy
- We missed you, Randy
299
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,174
Where have you been?
300
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,717
I've been acting like a fool
301
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,636
It seems such a long time
302
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,848
Since we've seen you, old friend
303
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,517
We've all been waiting
for this day to come
304
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,437
We're all so happy about
the things you've done
305
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,815
- 'Cause you're going back to Randy
- I'm going back to Randy
306
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:44,068
- We missed you, Randy
- I missed me, Randy
307
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,112
It's so good to have you back now
308
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:49,323
- Our dear friend
- We missed you, Randy
309
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,617
Our dear friend, Randy
310
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,327
- I'm Randy
- Randy
311
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,746
- Randy, Randy
- I'm Randy
312
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,714
CARTMAN: All right,
I've got eyes on him.
313
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,633
Looks like
he's in the basement bathroom.
314
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,178
BUTTERS: I didn't even know
Tolkien had a basement bathroom.
315
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,346
CARTMAN: Yeah, neither did I.
Sneaky bastard.
316
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,182
Seems like he's looking for something.
317
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,142
Oh, nope, he's turning back around.
318
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,060
He's pulling down his pants.
319
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,313
Oh, I think he's gonna take a shit.
320
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,982
Mark down:
"8:35, started taking shit."
321
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,990
What the fuck are you doing?
322
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,868
- Oh, shit. Go, go, go.
- (BUTTERS YELLING)
323
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,496
(ZIPPER CLOSES)
324
00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:39,749
Hello? Where are...
Eric, I can see you!
325
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,377
CARTMAN: (WHISPERING) There's no way
he can see us. Just stay still.
326
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:46,130
I see you behind the fucking tree!
327
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,009
Don't come another step closer
or I shoot Butters.
328
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,093
What?
329
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,303
Let's go. Move. Move!
330
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,140
Do you wanna tell me
what's going on, Tolkien?
331
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:58,309
- I have no idea!
- Sure!
332
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,229
We're all supposed to believe that
streaming services were all our fault.
333
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:02,939
I remember that day
at school, Tolkien.
334
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,899
You were the one who said
I should build the boats.
335
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,484
Because I felt bad for you!
336
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,110
You felt bad for me?
337
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:09,779
Or maybe is it that you wanted
the drought to...
338
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,739
Butters, will you please
stop staring at my tits?
339
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:12,949
I'm sorry.
340
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,493
We've been doing research, Tolkien.
341
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,286
Somebody manipulated the system.
342
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,871
All the water rights, water laws,
343
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,122
there's a big chain of corruption
344
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,833
and the whole thing stinks
like your wiener after fucking my mom.
345
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:26,462
Eric, I swear, I have no clue
what you're talking about.
346
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:27,630
Then read it.
347
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:31,759
Read about how none
of the streaming services
348
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:33,010
had any chance of lasting
349
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,720
but paid out
thousands of dollars anyway.
350
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,597
Read about how
the water commissioner of Colorado
351
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,349
knew about it the entire time!
352
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,601
Eric, where did you get this?
353
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:43,938
Tolkien, my eyes are up here,
please stop staring at my titties.
354
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,690
I am staring you dead in the eye.
355
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,149
Where did you get this?
356
00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,611
Hi. I'm Gwyneth Paltrow.
357
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,073
I got women everywhere excited
about investing in crypto,
358
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,701
and now there's something even better
to invest in.
359
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:02,456
Uh... uh... um...
360
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,752
Fortune favors the brave.
Fortune favors the brave.
361
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,088
(SLURPS, GAGS)
362
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,635
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Go pee! With Pi Pi+.
363
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,349
My fellow Coloradoans,
364
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,268
today we will try to put an end
365
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,645
to the drought
that has crippled our state.
366
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,357
It's my pleasure to announce
that the city of Denver
367
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:32,111
will be investing heavily
in the Pi Pi streaming service.
368
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:35,573
And we encourage you all to "Go pee."
369
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:41,287
Oh, thank you! Thank you, Denver!
370
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:46,000
It is @a my honor to give you
all of the pee that I can.
371
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,753
And so, as of today,
372
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,632
- we are all going to live in...
- RANDY: (DISTANT) Wait!
373
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,426
Hold on!
374
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,471
- Who is that?
- Excuse mel!
375
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:01,182
Please, I have to get to the front!
376
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,309
I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
everyone, please.
377
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,061
- Please, I have an announcement.
- (FEEDBACK SCREECHES)
378
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:08,648
Everyone, my name is Dr. Randy Marsh
379
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,984
and I am... a scientist!
380
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,110
(FEEDBACK SCREECHES)
381
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,073
The damage that has been done
to our fresh water
382
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:20,576
due to the streaming wars
is irreversible, yes.
383
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,995
But I believe I have a plan.
384
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:24,872
And if you don't mind,
385
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:28,417
I'd like to show my deck
to each and every one of you.
386
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,087
Whip it out, bro!
387
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:34,256
The answer...
388
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,635
iS an ocean water
desalinization plant.
389
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,763
When all of you hear
about droughts in our country,
390
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:44,517
don't you ever think,
"Wait, the Earth is 75% water.
391
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,144
"What the fuck? How can we
not have enough water, right?"
392
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,479
(ALL MURMURING IN AGREEMENT)
393
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:49,772
The only thing stopping us
394
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:53,776
from not being able to use seawater
for our daily use is the salt.
395
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,696
I have a plan to pipe the water
from the oceans
396
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,280
up to the Continental Divide.
397
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,783
From there,
we separate the salt from the water,
398
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:05,121
giving our entire country
enough clean water forever.
399
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:09,291
And we ship the salt off
to Arby's and KFC where it belongs.
400
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,546
(CHEERING AND WHOOPING)
401
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:17,049
Dr. Marsh,
you have all the funding you need.
402
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,927
Randy Marsh has the better deck!
403
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,971
(CHEERING LOUDLY)
404
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,813
(SINGING)
She's only 17...
405
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:33,107
Pl PI: Ever since I can remember,
406
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,109
I've wanted two things.
407
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:36,986
My own waterpark
408
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:41,365
and to only have to pay
for one streaming service.
409
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,159
And what I didn't know...
410
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:46,162
was that my own employees
411
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:48,372
would try to fuck me!
412
00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,834
And fucking ruin my life!
413
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:55,713
Who is this guy talking about
a desalinization plant?
414
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,506
How did we miss him?
415
00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,801
He's just some scientist,
he... he came out of nowhere.
416
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:05,222
I asked you to take care of
anybody who might get in my way!
417
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,183
I just wanna be a lifeguard.
418
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:09,185
"I just wanna be a lifeguard.”
419
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,729
You just wanna fuck Pi Pi!
420
00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:14,523
You're all a bunch
of stinky poopy babies!
421
00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:18,110
All of you! You little pussy bitches!
422
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,570
(ROARS)
423
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,280
Oh, you don't like that, huh?
424
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:22,823
I told you... I told you
425
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:25,159
kill anyone in the mountains
who could be a problem!
426
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:28,496
You a little ManBear-bitch,
that's what you are!
427
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:30,206
(ROARING)
428
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,041
You wanna fuck with Pi Pi, huh?
429
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:34,251
Don't forget what I have on you.
430
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:35,961
Sit down, ManBearBitchie!
431
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,422
(GROANS)
432
00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:41,592
I want that desalinization plant gone
433
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:44,053
and I want the scientist dead!
434
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,515
There can only be
one streaming service.
435
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:50,392
And it's going to be Pi Pi+!
436
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,987
SERGEANT LOU: lt was 8:15
on Thursday night.
437
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,573
The people were all excited
about the possibility
438
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,742
of a new desalinization plant.
439
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,620
But I had a lingering uneasiness
in my gut.
440
00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:11,580
And then, just like that,
441
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:15,417
in walked the nicest pair of knockers
I'd ever seen in my life.
442
00:22:20,923 --> 00:22:22,091
Detective, we need to talk to you.
443
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,301
Aw, fuck, not you again.
444
00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:26,554
Get out of here, kid,
I'm not going to arrest your mom.
445
00:22:26,637 --> 00:22:28,889
You might think differently
when you hear what we have to say.
446
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:30,099
Go ahead, Tolkien.
447
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:32,852
Sir, we think the person
who killed Robert Cussler
448
00:22:32,935 --> 00:22:35,771
actually had a bigger plan,
to make the drought happen.
449
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,941
Your father killed Robert Cussler.
450
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,235
And what makes you think
he had a bigger plan?
451
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:44,405
Wait a minute.
Did he tell you his business plan?
452
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,282
Did he show you his deck?
453
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:47,867
No.
454
00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:49,702
My Uncle Larry
showed me his dick once.
455
00:22:50,661 --> 00:22:52,788
My dad isn't capable
of killing anyone.
456
00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:54,290
Well, I'm sure that's true.
457
00:22:54,456 --> 00:22:57,710
And that's why your father had
ManBearPig do it for him.
458
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,713
You see, your dad used ManBearPig
459
00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:03,173
to get rid of the competition
in the streaming wars.
460
00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:05,050
Butters, please.
461
00:23:05,509 --> 00:23:07,469
And ManBearPig
will just go right on doing
462
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:10,723
whatever Tolkien's father says,
because he's afraid.
463
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,684
ManBearPig is afraid? Of what?
464
00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:18,856
Afraid for the safety
of its wife and child.
465
00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:24,194
Not many people know about
PigBearGirl and Chuck Chuck,
466
00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:26,989
but your father
must have threatened ManBearPig
467
00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:28,908
that he would tell people they exist.
468
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:32,411
And if everyone knew
that climate change had a child,
469
00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:34,371
they'd go after it.
470
00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:38,959
Okay, whatever, but you have no proof
that it was my dad who did anything.
471
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:40,961
Don't I?
472
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:45,382
I happen to know for a fact that while
the rest of the state is suffering,
473
00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:47,760
your dad has been out living it up.
474
00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:51,263
Surveillance camera caught him
enjoying his time at a waterpark.
475
00:23:55,684 --> 00:23:56,810
The waterpark.
476
00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,273
Hello, I'm Larry David.
477
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:03,776
When I made
my Superbowl commercial for crypto,
478
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,653
I didn't even really know what it was!
479
00:24:05,736 --> 00:24:06,904
But thanks to the money I made,
480
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:09,698
I now can enjoy my favorite beverage
every day!
481
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:13,953
(GURGLING)
482
00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:15,871
(GAGGING)
483
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:20,793
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Go pee! With Pi Pi+.
484
00:24:23,796 --> 00:24:25,798
(WATER DRIPS ECHOING)
485
00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:29,176
(GASPS LOUDLY)
486
00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:30,886
(GASPING)
487
00:24:36,934 --> 00:24:38,060
(GRUNTS)
488
00:24:41,689 --> 00:24:42,731
(ECHOING) Hello?
489
00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:45,818
Where the fuck am 1?
490
00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:50,739
(GRUNTING)
491
00:24:54,702 --> 00:24:55,703
Hello?
492
00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:07,506
Pl Pl: Well, I don't know,
but it needs to be a-fixed, okay?
493
00:25:08,298 --> 00:25:10,759
Maybe we have
some kind of an intruder, huh,
494
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:12,428
that's doing the sabotage, you know!
495
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:16,098
GUARD: We looked everywhere, sir.
We didn't find anything.
496
00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:18,600
Pl Pl: Well, look harder,
you stupid fuck!
497
00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,436
Something's going on down here!
498
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,107
(SNARLING)
499
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:27,276
(SQUEALING)
500
00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:34,450
(LOW GROWLING)
501
00:25:35,117 --> 00:25:37,536
Who are you? Did you bandage me up?
502
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,081
Chuck Chuck!
503
00:25:41,165 --> 00:25:42,583
(VALVES CREAKING)
504
00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:45,335
GUARD: Come on! Something's happened
to the outtake valves again!
505
00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:47,963
(SHUSHING)
506
00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,717
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
507
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,303
(TOOLS CLACKING)
508
00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:58,390
Okay, that's great, guys.
509
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,768
Keep the pipe on the downward slope.
510
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:03,520
- How's it all going?
- Oh, thanks, honey.
511
00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:05,022
It's good. Fast.
512
00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:07,066
I think we can have this thing
up and running
513
00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:09,151
- for tests in a week.
- That's amazing.
514
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,487
You're not so bad yourself, babe.
515
00:26:13,989 --> 00:26:15,157
Oh, and hey, Sharon?
516
00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:18,410
Sorry about the whole "weed thing."
517
00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:20,746
It's okay, Randy.
518
00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:26,001
All right, Nelson,
I've updated the engineering.
519
00:26:26,335 --> 00:26:27,711
I've accounted for the elevation
520
00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:29,838
but I still can't
figure out the pipeline.
521
00:26:30,339 --> 00:26:32,424
The problem is actually
getting enough pressure
522
00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:35,010
to get the saltwater
up here to the plant.
523
00:26:35,427 --> 00:26:37,012
It almost seems impossible.
524
00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:38,931
I don't know
how you get saltwater up here
525
00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:40,766
without a tremendous amount of energy.
526
00:26:40,974 --> 00:26:43,685
Yeah, well, let's just keep working.
There has to be an answer.
527
00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:45,521
Science always has an answer.
528
00:26:46,355 --> 00:26:50,442
Randy, it's good to have you back
at the US Geological Survey.
529
00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:51,860
Thanks, Nelson.
530
00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:54,154
Oh, and hey, Nelson?
531
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,199
Sorry about the whole "weed thing."
532
00:26:57,991 --> 00:26:59,034
That's okay, Randy.
533
00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:02,830
(MACHINERY CLACKING)
534
00:27:06,750 --> 00:27:08,961
Hi, my name is Naomi Osaka.
535
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:10,504
And I enjoy crypto
536
00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:14,216
just like I enjoy fresh piss
on my organic greens.
537
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:19,888
Fortune favors the brave.
538
00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:22,724
- Fortune favors the brave.
- Fortune favors the brave.
539
00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:24,143
Fortune favors the brave.
540
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:26,895
(GAGGING)
541
00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:32,067
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Go pee! With Pi Pi+.
542
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:39,116
(SINGING)
She's a summertime girl
543
00:27:39,241 --> 00:27:40,909
ANNOUNCER: (OVER PA)
Welcome to Pi Pi's Waterpark!
544
00:27:41,285 --> 00:27:44,580
Where the thrills and fun
are all 100% urine.
545
00:27:44,663 --> 00:27:46,540
We hope you have a magical day
546
00:27:46,790 --> 00:27:48,458
and if you need to use the restroom,
547
00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:51,128
just let it go
in one of our many pools.
548
00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:53,213
Your pee will be collected
and harvested
549
00:27:53,297 --> 00:27:54,756
for Denver's water supply.
550
00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:56,466
Go pee, Colorado.
551
00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:57,593
(SINGING)
She'll take you...
552
00:27:57,718 --> 00:28:00,429
Boy, oh boy,
what a great day for a swim!
553
00:28:00,637 --> 00:28:02,472
Can't wait to hit that fresh pool!
554
00:28:04,057 --> 00:28:06,602
Blackhawk, this is Browneye.
I am in position.
555
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,855
Copy, Butters. Do you see the slide
we're looking for?
556
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:13,609
That's a negative, Blackhawk.
Got nothin' here.
557
00:28:13,734 --> 00:28:15,360
What about
over by the funnel cakes, Eric?
558
00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:18,447
(SINGING)
She's a summertime girl...
559
00:28:18,572 --> 00:28:21,158
I don't see the slide that matches
the one in the picture, Tolkien.
560
00:28:21,241 --> 00:28:23,118
I'm afraid this could be
a dead end, guys.
561
00:28:23,911 --> 00:28:25,913
- Wait. Oh, my God.
- What?
562
00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:28,665
There's a guy here who's just
totally staring at my tits.
563
00:28:28,957 --> 00:28:31,293
Hey, do you mind, sir?
My eyes are up here.
564
00:28:31,460 --> 00:28:33,003
Eric, we're trying not to
draw attention to oursel...
565
00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:35,714
CARTMAN: Stop looking at my tits!
Yes, you are!
566
00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:37,216
- Eric, do you...
- These people are all staring
567
00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:39,051
at my fucking tits!
They're such perverts!
568
00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:42,387
Little boy, we're just
a bit shocked to see that.
569
00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:44,681
Yeah, ‘cause you're on
the itty bitty titty committee, bitch!
570
00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:46,975
Just focus on the fucking plan, Eric!
571
00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:49,645
BUTTERS:
Hey, fellas, I think I got it!
572
00:28:50,145 --> 00:28:52,105
I found the slide
where the photo was taken!
573
00:28:53,357 --> 00:28:55,817
And there's some kind of bunker
entrance right next to it.
574
00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:05,327
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
575
00:29:14,628 --> 00:29:16,755
Hello, ma'am. I'm sorry,
576
00:29:16,838 --> 00:29:19,258
but I need to speak with you
about your husband.
577
00:29:21,635 --> 00:29:23,512
- Is he dead?
- Not yet.
578
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:26,348
But he will be as soon as
I can find him. Can I come in?
579
00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:30,602
Your husband is a very dangerous man.
580
00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:33,939
We now believe that
he caused the whole drought to happen.
581
00:29:34,356 --> 00:29:36,441
- Do you mind?
- Yes.
582
00:29:36,525 --> 00:29:37,526
Great.
583
00:29:38,568 --> 00:29:41,863
Now, obviously, your husband
had some kind of bigger business plan.
584
00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:45,284
He might have it all explained
somewhere.
585
00:29:45,659 --> 00:29:46,910
Does your husband have a deck?
586
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,038
Of course my husband has a dick.
587
00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:52,624
Well, I'd like to see it,
if that's okay with you.
588
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:56,503
How am I supposed to show you
when I don't even know where he is?
589
00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:59,214
All right. If you want
to be difficult, ma'am, that's fine.
590
00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:03,093
But you know where your husband is
and so does your little boy.
591
00:30:03,719 --> 00:30:05,512
I'm sure that
you've both seen his deck
592
00:30:05,595 --> 00:30:07,389
and I'm sure it's pretty massive.
593
00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:10,309
Detective, my husband is a good man.
594
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:12,394
Well, I'm sure he was at one point.
595
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,521
But then
he started a streaming service
596
00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:16,857
and became the monster
that he is today.
597
00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:19,276
Okay, well,
I think you should leave now.
598
00:30:19,776 --> 00:30:20,861
All right, fine.
599
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:23,822
But just so you know,
when I find your husband,
600
00:30:24,448 --> 00:30:26,992
and I will find him,
I'm gonna shoot him.
601
00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:29,828
And then,
I'll check out his deck later.
602
00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:42,299
This must be where
all the pee is collected
603
00:30:42,382 --> 00:30:43,633
for Pi Pi's streaming service.
604
00:30:44,009 --> 00:30:45,886
Sure is a lot of pee!
605
00:30:47,054 --> 00:30:48,055
This place is massive.
606
00:30:48,138 --> 00:30:50,265
They had to have been working
on this place for years!
607
00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:51,808
Yeah, looks like someone
608
00:30:51,892 --> 00:30:54,019
has been planning on fucking my mom
for a long time!
609
00:30:54,436 --> 00:30:56,063
Everyone, spread out
and see what you can find.
610
00:30:59,149 --> 00:31:00,609
What exactly are we looking for?
611
00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:03,695
Documents, contracts, condoms,
whatever you can find.
612
00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:06,198
Get a picture of anything unusual.
613
00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:09,284
People would be very interested to see
how far along this all is.
614
00:31:09,785 --> 00:31:12,120
Hey, there's some little
brown chocolates on the floor.
615
00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:18,877
Chuck!
616
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,046
(SCREAMING)
617
00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:22,130
Whoa!
618
00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:30,806
It's okay. It's okay.
We're not gonna hurt you.
619
00:31:32,015 --> 00:31:33,058
(QUIETLY) Chuck Chuck?
620
00:31:35,811 --> 00:31:37,020
The fuck is that?
621
00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:39,981
What are you doing down here?
Are you lost?
622
00:31:41,608 --> 00:31:42,984
Chuck Chuck.
623
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:46,530
You guys, seriously, the fuck is that?
624
00:31:47,656 --> 00:31:49,658
It's like a little bear pig...
625
00:31:52,786 --> 00:31:54,579
They don't know
you're down here, do they?
626
00:31:55,497 --> 00:31:57,040
Chuck Chuck.
627
00:31:57,499 --> 00:31:59,084
Hey, stop right there!
628
00:32:06,049 --> 00:32:09,344
- (ALARM BLARING)
- (CLAMORING)
629
00:32:12,722 --> 00:32:14,891
Yeah, we did it! We did it!
630
00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:16,309
Tell the boss we caught 'em!
631
00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:18,311
We finally caught the little buggers
632
00:32:18,395 --> 00:32:20,439
that have been messing
with the equipment down here.
633
00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:25,652
I'm Reese Witherspoon.
634
00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:27,487
I think crypto is a great idea
635
00:32:27,654 --> 00:32:29,990
but there's one investment
that's even smarter.
636
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:33,076
That's why when my family
is enjoying festive party games,
637
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:34,369
we do it in pee.
638
00:32:40,417 --> 00:32:41,418
(GRUNTS)
639
00:32:43,503 --> 00:32:44,963
(GASPING)
640
00:32:45,046 --> 00:32:46,673
(RETCHING)
641
00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:53,054
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Go pee! With Pi Pi+.
642
00:32:53,722 --> 00:32:55,182
(RETCHING)
643
00:33:01,229 --> 00:33:02,230
Oh, hey, honey.
644
00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:04,232
- Any luck?
- No.
645
00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:07,068
The plant is almost ready to go
and I still can't figure out
646
00:33:07,152 --> 00:33:08,737
how to get the saltwater to it.
647
00:33:09,154 --> 00:33:10,989
The elevations are just too extreme.
648
00:33:11,907 --> 00:33:13,283
Hey, what are the kids doing?
649
00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,452
Mm, they're just in their rooms,
hanging out.
650
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:16,786
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
651
00:33:17,162 --> 00:33:19,623
How about we round them up
and go take a nice walk or something?
652
00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,666
- You sure?
- Yeah, I need a break
653
00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:23,585
and they need a dad. Come on.
654
00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:25,629
(PHONE RINGS)
655
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,088
Oh, hang on a second, it's Nelson.
656
00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:29,257
Hey, Nelson! How's it going up there?
657
00:33:29,382 --> 00:33:31,593
NELSON: Randy! Randy!
658
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:34,804
The plant! It's all wrecked!
659
00:33:34,888 --> 00:33:36,056
What are you talking about?
660
00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:38,350
It was climate change, Randy!
661
00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:39,851
It ripped apart the watershed
662
00:33:39,935 --> 00:33:42,103
and took a huge shit
in the conversion tanks!
663
00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:43,522
No.
664
00:33:43,605 --> 00:33:45,565
It just started
tearing through people.
665
00:33:45,774 --> 00:33:49,152
But, Randy, it seemed like
it was looking for something.
666
00:33:50,237 --> 00:33:52,822
I'm scared it might have been
looking for you.
667
00:33:53,907 --> 00:33:54,908
(PHONE BEEPS)
668
00:33:57,911 --> 00:33:59,079
Randy, what's going on?
669
00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:02,374
What's going on, Dad?
670
00:34:02,457 --> 00:34:04,209
Take the kids to the basement
and lock the door.
671
00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:08,922
- Randy, what are we...
- Just do it, baby, please!
672
00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:18,265
Randy, I'm not gonna hurt you.
673
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:21,518
What the fuck are you doing here?
674
00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:24,229
I need your help, Randy.
I can't go to the police.
675
00:34:24,312 --> 00:34:26,273
Yeah, no shit,
‘cause you're a murderer!
676
00:34:26,356 --> 00:34:27,899
I didn't kill anyone!
677
00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:30,068
Look, I know
we've had our differences,
678
00:34:30,151 --> 00:34:31,987
but I need you to trust me right now.
679
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,489
I don't care
about Credigree Weed anymore.
680
00:34:34,614 --> 00:34:35,991
I just want to fix the drought.
681
00:34:36,116 --> 00:34:39,828
You're not going to fix it
because Pi Pi controls everything!
682
00:34:39,995 --> 00:34:40,996
Pi Pi?
683
00:34:41,496 --> 00:34:42,872
He used the water commissioner
684
00:34:42,956 --> 00:34:45,166
to get us to start our streaming war
against each other.
685
00:34:46,918 --> 00:34:47,919
No.
686
00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:49,546
He used us, Randy.
687
00:34:49,796 --> 00:34:52,215
Pi Pi tried to have me killed,
but some little beaver thing saved me.
688
00:34:52,299 --> 00:34:53,300
Please.
689
00:34:53,383 --> 00:34:56,344
My wife said Tolkien and his friends
went to look for me at the waterpark.
690
00:34:56,469 --> 00:34:58,680
Credigree and Tegridy
have to work together.
691
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:03,226
Tegridy took over my life
692
00:35:03,977 --> 00:35:05,937
and completely ruined my character.
693
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:07,522
Don't you get it?
694
00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:10,609
We aren't the ones
who are ever gonna help anything.
695
00:35:12,944 --> 00:35:14,821
We're the ones
who make everything worse.
696
00:35:18,700 --> 00:35:20,035
(SQUEAKING)
697
00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:23,872
(GRUNTING) It's no use,
we can't hack through the bars.
698
00:35:24,873 --> 00:35:26,750
Hey, hey there.
699
00:35:31,421 --> 00:35:32,422
(QUIETLY) Chuck Chuck.
700
00:35:34,049 --> 00:35:35,050
Hey.
701
00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:36,801
Are you down here
looking for your dad?
702
00:35:37,302 --> 00:35:38,720
I'm looking for my dad, too.
703
00:35:39,054 --> 00:35:40,555
Oh, God, that's so cheesy.
704
00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:44,851
You don't have to be afraid of people.
705
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:46,186
I can tell you why.
706
00:35:46,728 --> 00:35:47,729
(GRUNTING SOFTLY)
707
00:35:49,773 --> 00:35:51,066
(FLATULENCE)
708
00:35:53,735 --> 00:35:54,736
Chuck Chuck.
709
00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:58,114
Yes, good, Tolkien, I think
you're starting to reason with it.
710
00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:59,532
(HEAVY DOOR OPENS)
711
00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:03,662
So!
712
00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:05,246
You're the little "sabotagis"
713
00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:07,290
that's been messing
with my stuff, huh?
714
00:36:07,374 --> 00:36:10,418
Uh, no, we actually
just got here recently, sir.
715
00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:13,129
- Where is my dad?
- Your dad?
716
00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:15,173
(SNAPS FINGERS) Oh...
717
00:36:15,256 --> 00:36:18,301
You the boys that
make-a the little boats-a. No?
718
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:21,471
Oh, you help Pi Pi so much!
719
00:36:21,638 --> 00:36:23,890
You probably made a lot of money, huh?
720
00:36:25,392 --> 00:36:26,768
We didn't know what we were doing.
721
00:36:27,435 --> 00:36:29,521
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, well, who does, huh?
722
00:36:30,105 --> 00:36:31,898
That's doing business in America.
723
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:33,900
You just get in,
724
00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:37,070
fuck everything up,
pay people money you don't have,
725
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,490
and try to get a big
market evaluation, yes?
726
00:36:40,573 --> 00:36:43,535
So you sped up climate change and then
you fucked my mom, is that it?
727
00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:45,453
Scusi?
728
00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:48,081
No, see, what he did was
he paid people too much money
729
00:36:48,164 --> 00:36:49,833
while actually devaluing the artists,
730
00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:51,876
creating a streaming business
that was driving content
731
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,878
instead of content
driving the business.
732
00:36:53,962 --> 00:36:56,631
So now he's got a huge company,
but all he's delivering is piss.
733
00:36:57,424 --> 00:36:59,676
And now I'm about to have
the only streaming service
734
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:00,844
in the world.
735
00:37:01,261 --> 00:37:04,514
You see,
I have all the celebrities here.
736
00:37:05,014 --> 00:37:09,436
Everybody to be in one big
final commerci together!
737
00:37:09,978 --> 00:37:11,730
And when that commerci goes out,
738
00:37:11,813 --> 00:37:14,607
everybody gonna want
to invest in Pi Pi.
739
00:37:15,692 --> 00:37:17,110
And you boys, well...
740
00:37:17,861 --> 00:37:20,947
I'm afraid you might meet up
with a little accidente, huh?
741
00:37:21,698 --> 00:37:23,700
The pee-pee gonna come down
742
00:37:23,783 --> 00:37:27,120
and it gonna wash you boys
away down a drain-ee.
743
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:30,457
Come on! We gotta make-a the commerci!
744
00:37:42,218 --> 00:37:44,804
I'm sorry, guys. I got played.
745
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,098
We all got played, Dad.
746
00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:48,391
The whole state.
747
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:51,644
I really thought
I could make a difference this time.
748
00:37:52,854 --> 00:37:55,190
Well, you can't, Randy.
749
00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:58,777
But there is someone who can.
750
00:38:00,195 --> 00:38:02,530
Somebody who can go down
to that waterpark
751
00:38:02,614 --> 00:38:04,199
and demand to be heard.
752
00:38:05,492 --> 00:38:07,076
We need Karen back, Dad.
753
00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:09,037
What?
754
00:38:09,537 --> 00:38:10,872
No. No!
755
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:12,373
You have to, Dad.
756
00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:14,459
Karen is the only one
that can get past security
757
00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:15,960
and insist to see the management.
758
00:38:16,044 --> 00:38:17,837
Karen is gone. Okay?
759
00:38:20,048 --> 00:38:21,549
I'm never going back.
760
00:38:22,258 --> 00:38:23,384
Then Pi Pi does win.
761
00:38:23,843 --> 00:38:25,970
And we all go without fresh water
for the rest of our lives.
762
00:38:26,054 --> 00:38:28,723
Come on, Karen, please.
My friends are down there.
763
00:38:29,057 --> 00:38:30,767
It doesn't work like that.
764
00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:33,686
I didn't just become Karen overnight.
765
00:38:34,562 --> 00:38:35,897
First, I smoked weed.
766
00:38:36,105 --> 00:38:37,440
Then I smoked too much weed.
767
00:38:37,690 --> 00:38:39,651
Then I started a weed farm
and then I got entitled
768
00:38:39,734 --> 00:38:41,528
and did everything I could
to protect it!
769
00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:48,910
But the weed is all gone now.
770
00:38:51,079 --> 00:38:52,330
Not all of it.
771
00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:13,268
The Thanksgiving Day Special?
You saved this?
772
00:39:13,351 --> 00:39:15,270
I... I made this, like,
three years ago.
773
00:39:15,895 --> 00:39:19,107
Yeah. I think
it's the best special you ever made.
774
00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:31,619
If I smoke this...
I won't remember any of you.
775
00:39:34,956 --> 00:39:37,750
It will be like none of
the past few days ever happened.
776
00:39:39,085 --> 00:39:40,753
We have to have water, Karen.
777
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:05,069
(MAGICAL CHIMING)
778
00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:12,285
(NO AUDIO)
779
00:40:14,495 --> 00:40:15,663
(MUFFLED) What the hell is he doing?
780
00:40:15,788 --> 00:40:17,081
He looks ridiculous.
781
00:40:17,290 --> 00:40:19,250
Just... just let him do it, kids.
782
00:40:19,709 --> 00:40:22,420
- (MAGICAL CHIMING)
- (HUMMING, GRUNTING)
783
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:32,931
(SINGING)
We missed you, Karen
784
00:40:33,514 --> 00:40:36,100
Where have you been?
785
00:40:36,476 --> 00:40:39,312
Someone's been
fucking with my Tegridy!
786
00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:41,898
- Yeah!
- Yeah, Dad!
787
00:40:42,899 --> 00:40:44,943
(APPLAUSE)
788
00:40:46,361 --> 00:40:47,362
Thank you!
789
00:40:47,528 --> 00:40:48,863
Thank you, everyone,
790
00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:53,159
for coming to be a part of
filming my new commerci.
791
00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:57,372
This is gonna be
the best commerci we ever make-a!
792
00:40:59,332 --> 00:41:02,043
Okay, now everyone look like
you're having fun!
793
00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:04,587
Background action!
794
00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:07,548
And action, Matt Damon-a!
795
00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:10,218
Hi. I'm Matt Damon.
796
00:41:10,843 --> 00:41:14,389
Me and all my Hollywood friends
have a little secret to share.
797
00:41:14,931 --> 00:41:16,933
ALL: We love being in pee.
798
00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:18,309
Are urine?
799
00:41:18,518 --> 00:41:20,186
Okay, that's good, that's good.
800
00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:22,563
Now you all play in the pee
a little bit.
801
00:41:23,648 --> 00:41:27,360
You laughing, you having fun.
You splash-a the pee on each other.
802
00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:31,239
(GROANS)
803
00:41:31,364 --> 00:41:33,157
Good, good. You love the pee.
804
00:41:33,366 --> 00:41:36,577
Now maybe, Matt Damon, you splash pee
on Reesie Witherspoon.
805
00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:38,997
And then, Reesie, the pee...
806
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,582
the pee make you so happy
that... that you cry.
807
00:41:41,874 --> 00:41:43,292
I cry?
808
00:41:43,418 --> 00:41:46,212
Yes, Reesie, you so happy in the pee,
it make you cry.
809
00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:50,008
And when you cry... you cry the pee.
810
00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:52,760
I can't cry pee.
811
00:41:53,094 --> 00:41:54,762
Oh, come on, Reesie.
812
00:41:55,013 --> 00:41:58,516
You slut yourself out for crypto,
now just be a slut for Pi Pi.
813
00:41:59,100 --> 00:42:01,853
Go on, cry, Reesie.
You're all a bunch of sellouts.
814
00:42:01,936 --> 00:42:04,147
Cry for the commerci. Come on, cry.
815
00:42:04,313 --> 00:42:06,274
(CRYING)
816
00:42:06,607 --> 00:42:08,609
(ALL CRYING)
817
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,615
I'm sorry, folks,
the waterpark is closed
818
00:42:14,741 --> 00:42:15,992
for a commercial shoot.
819
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,327
We'll let you know as soon as
we get things back open again.
820
00:42:18,453 --> 00:42:19,954
(TIRES SCREECHING)
821
00:42:22,498 --> 00:42:24,500
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
822
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,385
It's Karen!
823
00:42:34,469 --> 00:42:38,097
I want in your waterpark right now!
824
00:42:38,598 --> 00:42:40,808
The park's closed,
they're filming a commercial.
825
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:43,186
I wanna speak to your...
826
00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:44,687
(REVERBERATES) manager!
827
00:42:44,771 --> 00:42:46,814
- (PEOPLE SCREAM)
- (GLASS SHATTERS)
828
00:42:49,901 --> 00:42:51,360
PI Pl: Good. Good.
829
00:42:51,486 --> 00:42:54,363
And now, Larry David, you come up
with the pee in your mouth.
830
00:42:56,824 --> 00:43:00,161
And then you just... you just spit
the pee on Gwyneth Paltrow.
831
00:43:02,497 --> 00:43:03,498
(RETCHES)
832
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,501
- (RANDY YELLING)
- (PEOPLE SCREAMING)
833
00:43:11,255 --> 00:43:14,217
There you are! What's going on?
834
00:43:14,342 --> 00:43:16,469
You wanna tell me
what the fuck is going on?
835
00:43:17,220 --> 00:43:18,805
Scusi, who let you in?
836
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:22,016
I let myself in,
because it's a free country
837
00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:24,018
and I'll stand where I fucking want!
838
00:43:24,143 --> 00:43:25,561
Get him out of here!
839
00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:29,357
Don't you fucking touch me!
Don't any of you fucking touch me!
840
00:43:29,482 --> 00:43:32,276
Okay, we obviously have
a bit of a Karen here, let's, uh...
841
00:43:32,401 --> 00:43:35,613
You can call me Karen
all you fucking want! Motherfucker!
842
00:43:35,696 --> 00:43:37,698
Why don't you tell everyone
what you've been doing?
843
00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:40,910
(IN DISTANCE) I want to speak
to someone in charge! No!
844
00:43:41,035 --> 00:43:42,954
No, ‘cause clearly
you're not in charge!
845
00:43:43,037 --> 00:43:44,163
- What's going on up there?
- You don't even know
846
00:43:44,247 --> 00:43:45,873
what the fuck you're doing! Do you?
847
00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:50,044
- (CLATTERING)
- Hello? Who's there?
848
00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:54,173
Who's there? God damn it,
l... I'm the fuckin' lifeguard.
849
00:43:54,715 --> 00:43:56,384
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
850
00:43:59,428 --> 00:44:00,429
(GRUNTS)
851
00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:05,476
Whoa.
852
00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:08,271
No, you... you all need to get a life!
853
00:44:08,521 --> 00:44:10,398
I'm not wasted, you're wasted!
854
00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:13,943
Okay, fine, if you don't leave,
I'm gonna call the police.
855
00:44:14,026 --> 00:44:16,612
Fuckin' do it!
Fucking call the police!
856
00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:18,072
Bring 'em right here!
857
00:44:18,156 --> 00:44:20,449
Why don't you go back
to your own fucking country?
858
00:44:20,533 --> 00:44:22,451
- Oh, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Oh, whoa.
859
00:44:22,535 --> 00:44:25,204
Tom, it looks like
after several days of nothing,
860
00:44:25,288 --> 00:44:28,249
a new Karen video
has finally appeared on the Internet.
861
00:44:28,416 --> 00:44:29,834
A livestream caught Karen
862
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,420
spewing the usual entitled
hateful bullshit,
863
00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:34,922
and more and more viewers
are tuning in!
864
00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:37,967
You probably don't even have
a fucking green card, do you?
865
00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:40,136
Okay. Please leave, okay?
866
00:44:40,261 --> 00:44:44,265
No! You leave! I'm an American!
I pay taxes!
867
00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:48,019
- Okay, please, please leave.
- No! You're a piece of shit
868
00:44:48,227 --> 00:44:50,313
who started the streaming wars
on purpose
869
00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:52,190
to... to cause the drought!
870
00:44:53,983 --> 00:44:55,651
Okay, okay, that's it.
871
00:44:55,943 --> 00:44:58,237
Everybody,
we're sorry for the disturbance.
872
00:44:58,446 --> 00:44:59,864
Yeah, and then you pay celebrities
873
00:44:59,947 --> 00:45:02,116
to get people to invest
in your dumb shit
874
00:45:02,241 --> 00:45:04,160
‘cause you know it's fucking dumb!
875
00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:10,499
Somebody get this Karen
out of my face-y!
876
00:45:10,833 --> 00:45:12,543
(DISTANT ROARING)
877
00:45:12,627 --> 00:45:14,462
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
878
00:45:14,545 --> 00:45:15,671
(ROARING)
879
00:45:17,298 --> 00:45:19,926
Oh, you fucked now, Karen.
880
00:45:20,676 --> 00:45:23,262
Oh, look out! ManBearPig!
881
00:45:23,346 --> 00:45:25,723
(ROARING)
882
00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:28,142
TOLKIEN: Dad? Dad!
883
00:45:29,810 --> 00:45:30,937
Dad, you're okay!
884
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:33,731
Tolkien? Tolkien!
885
00:45:44,283 --> 00:45:45,826
Where did you come from?
886
00:45:45,910 --> 00:45:47,954
We were busted out by our new friend.
887
00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:49,538
It's okay, you can come out.
888
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:56,712
Chuck Chuck.
889
00:45:57,672 --> 00:45:59,006
What the fuck is that thing?
890
00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:01,259
I think I can explain it all.
891
00:46:02,927 --> 00:46:05,221
You see, for Pi Pi's plan to work,
892
00:46:05,638 --> 00:46:07,515
he needed to control climate change.
893
00:46:08,099 --> 00:46:11,560
And the only way to control anything,
is by fucking its mom.
894
00:46:12,561 --> 00:46:13,854
But what Pi Pi didn't count on,
895
00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:16,274
was that a child will stop at nothing
896
00:46:17,191 --> 00:46:19,110
to find out who is fucking their mom.
897
00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:23,030
Chuck Chuck.
898
00:46:30,871 --> 00:46:33,249
See? I... I keep them safe, uh-huh?
899
00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:35,084
(GROWLING)
900
00:46:35,626 --> 00:46:38,045
Whoa, whoa.
Hold on a minute, ManBearBitchie.
901
00:46:38,296 --> 00:46:39,588
We have a great team, no?
902
00:46:39,672 --> 00:46:41,090
- (ROARING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
903
00:46:41,257 --> 00:46:44,844
You no wanna hurt Pi Pi.
Look at everything we've done!
904
00:46:44,927 --> 00:46:46,554
(ROARING)
905
00:46:46,679 --> 00:46:48,681
(SCREAMING)
906
00:46:49,390 --> 00:46:51,392
(ROARING)
907
00:46:51,517 --> 00:46:53,477
(GASPING)
908
00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:57,315
(ROARING)
909
00:46:57,398 --> 00:46:59,150
(PI PI GASPING)
910
00:46:59,233 --> 00:47:00,401
(ROARS)
911
00:47:01,235 --> 00:47:04,447
I give you half of the company, huh?
What do you say, ManBearBitchie?
912
00:47:04,530 --> 00:47:08,617
We can own the only streaming service
in the world together!
913
00:47:08,743 --> 00:47:10,578
- (ROARING)
(SCREAMING)
914
00:47:14,874 --> 00:47:15,916
(SQUEAKS)
915
00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:19,628
(SQUEAKING)
916
00:47:20,421 --> 00:47:22,965
- It's over. We did it!
- We did it, Dad!
917
00:47:23,758 --> 00:47:25,885
Randy. Thank you so much.
918
00:47:29,305 --> 00:47:31,223
Randy? What are you staring at?
919
00:47:32,808 --> 00:47:34,060
Oh, here we go again.
920
00:47:34,894 --> 00:47:36,312
No, wait.
921
00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:40,483
Mr... Mr. Marsh?
My eyes are up... Dude!
922
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:44,737
How to get saltwater
to the desalinization plant.
923
00:47:45,529 --> 00:47:47,448
Saltwater, saline.
924
00:47:48,157 --> 00:47:50,242
Saline in the plant.
925
00:47:50,534 --> 00:47:52,787
Saline implant! Holy fuck!
926
00:47:53,496 --> 00:47:55,539
(CHEERING)
927
00:47:58,793 --> 00:48:01,087
Today, we try for a new beginning.
928
00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:04,924
You know, in police work,
we don't always get it right.
929
00:48:05,424 --> 00:48:09,720
I wanted a deck in my hands so bad
that I didn't care whose deck it was.
930
00:48:10,137 --> 00:48:13,474
But I'm happy to be standing here now
with our new test subject.
931
00:48:14,392 --> 00:48:16,977
Thank you.
I just want to say to my mom...
932
00:48:17,103 --> 00:48:19,397
Mom, I'm sorry.
933
00:48:19,522 --> 00:48:22,400
I'm sorry that I can't always
be the son that you need.
934
00:48:22,566 --> 00:48:24,735
Because, right now,
you need a son that can stay firm
935
00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:25,986
and teach you a lesson.
936
00:48:26,112 --> 00:48:27,780
But unfortunately, duty calls.
937
00:48:28,322 --> 00:48:29,323
I'm ready.
938
00:48:37,623 --> 00:48:39,083
Okay, hit it.
939
00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:43,587
(GURGLING)
940
00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:49,135
Okay, it works. Bring in the rest!
941
00:49:08,070 --> 00:49:10,030
(GURGLING)
942
00:49:13,659 --> 00:49:15,953
(GURGLING)
943
00:49:23,377 --> 00:49:24,462
We got Matt Damon
944
00:49:24,545 --> 00:49:26,964
to tell every woman with fake tits
to be brave!
945
00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:28,674
Look at all of them.
946
00:49:37,683 --> 00:49:39,059
It's working!
947
00:49:39,351 --> 00:49:41,353
(CHEERING)
948
00:49:44,023 --> 00:49:45,232
Hey, everybody! Look!
949
00:49:52,573 --> 00:49:55,576
ManBearPig is leaving
with PigBearGirl and Chuck Chuck.
950
00:49:56,911 --> 00:49:58,412
(ROARS)
951
00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:00,122
Chuck Chuck!
952
00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:08,589
Hey, wait.
953
00:50:08,672 --> 00:50:12,092
If that little thing
is gonna be climate change someday,
954
00:50:12,176 --> 00:50:13,969
shouldn't we, like... kill it?
955
00:50:15,554 --> 00:50:17,723
I think what we should do
is try to reach out to it,
956
00:50:17,973 --> 00:50:20,809
see what it needs, and see if
it can be different from its father.
957
00:50:21,310 --> 00:50:23,229
Yeah, but that all sounds really hard.
958
00:50:23,646 --> 00:50:26,106
We have enough water
for the summer now. Fuck it.
959
00:50:26,482 --> 00:50:28,108
Let's smoke some weed!
960
00:50:28,192 --> 00:50:30,194
(CHEERING)
961
00:50:35,407 --> 00:50:37,409
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
962
00:50:40,746 --> 00:50:42,581
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
963
00:51:16,448 --> 00:51:17,449
English - SDH
71632
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