All language subtitles for The Avengers - S04E08 - A Surfeit of H2O (20 November 1965)

This is where
he was found.

Ted Barker, resident of
Lower Stockington for 42 years.

Snare setter,
pheasant fancier, partridge pincher.

You mean the local poacher.
How did he die?

Inhalation of fluid,
resulting in asphyxia.

He was
drowned right here.

In the middle of a field?
But that's impossible?

All the same,
that's what happened.

Strange, isn't it?

So's this.

There's a chap called Jonah Barnard,
and he keeps writing to the Times.

It's the tenth
time this month.

Have all the
letters been like this?

Here we are,
''We should all start building our arks,

because the
great flood is coming.''

Ted Barker lived there.
His brother Eli's still there.

A chance for me to weave
my homespun charm, eh?.

That's the idea.

I'm going to Jonah
Barnard's, meet me there.

Treat Eli warily.
He's a weird old bird.

The power of evil,
that's what Ted had in him.

The power of evil.

I warned him.
He paid me no heed.

He turned a sinner's
deaf ear to my words,

and so he fell
into the pit of iniquity.

You take milk,
Mrs. Peel?

Hm?
- Milk?

Oh, yes, thank you.

My own brother
with the mark of sin upon him.

He wasn't
always like that: sinful.

No, at heart
he wasn't really bad.

Did a bit of poaching now and then,
but poaching isn't like stealing, is it?

Did he do much fishing?

I said, did he
do much fishing?

Fishing?

Oh, there were blue
skies this morning, too.

No, he'd be hard
pressed to go fishing.

There isn't a river for miles,
and Ted wasn't one for travelling far.

Well, then how do
you account for his death?

The demon drink.
- Oh.

Did he drink much ?

I wouldn't sit there,
Mrs. Peel, not there!

You'll spoil
your fine city clothes.

Thank you.

It's been like this for months now.
This rain, this torrential rain.

But the people
don't understand, see.

They don't realize.

And they've been told,
they've been warned.

But they don't
realize, it's a sign.

All the signs around them,
yet still they do not heed.

Oh, you mean about
the warnings about the flood?

Ah, you've heard.
- Well, I've heard about Jonah Barnard.

A great man,
a fine man.

And you really
believe the flood is coming?

Believe? I know.

It's my seaweed, see?

It's always wet.

Oh.

I can't be sitting here gossiping.
Time's running out.

I must be
helping Jonah.

Helping him to
spread the word.

Mr. Barker, you were telling me about
your brother, you said he drank too much.

Imbibed to excess
on stolen liquors.

Stolen?
- Aye, he thought he was unobserved.

But I saw him.

Sneaking into ''Granny Gregson's''.
- ''Granny Gregson's''?

''Granny Gregson's
Glorious Grogs, lnc.''

Just beyond the village. A factory engaged
in the fermentation of intoxicating liquors.

And you actually
saw him going in there?

Late at night,
creeping in to steal liquors.

To gorge on
glorious grogs.

That was his undoing you see,
when he slipped and fell.

Into the pit of iniquity.

No, into ''Granny's
Sparkling Spring Water''.

Well, you make yourself at home,
Mrs. Peel, and finish your cup of tea.

Spring water?

Yes, they've got
tanks of it at the factory.

Tanks big enough
for a man to drown in.

You see,
my friends, you see.

And the Lord said to Noah: ''The end
of all flesh is before me,

''for the earth is
filled with violence,

''And behold, l will
destroy them with the earth.''

That's what
the Lord said.

Now, my friends,
within the humble walls of this barn,

my salvation is growing.
and your salvation too, if you will grasp it.

Here, my friends,
is my ark.

Burn it!

I see the signs of nature
my friends, and they do not lie.

It is the forewarning,
a hint of impending doom, of Nemesis.

Friends, the flood is coming.

Aye, so is Christmas.

My friends,
please, please, heed me.

For behold,
it came to pass,

after seven days, that the
waters of the flood were upon the earth.

Friends,
the flood is coming.

You'll have to
learn to swim, then.

Brothers,
act, and act now.

Take unto your families, and build
your arks, as l am building mine, now.

And the animals
came in two by two.

No, no, listen to him.
He speaks the truth.

Brothers, brothers,
I implore you, listen to me.

I've seen the
signs in the sky.

My friends,
please act. Act!

Ah, it's no use.
No use.

You were marvellous, Jonah. Fire and
brimstone that speech was. Fire and brimstone.

I have failed.

But you did your best, Jonah.
You did your best.

Not good enough.

Most interesting address.

This ark of yours,
it will really stand up to all weather?

It will resist
storm and tempest.

First class timbers
throughout of the finest British oak.

You did not close your ears to me.
You believe?

I certainly think
it's a theory worth investigating.

Steed. John Steed.

Delighted to meet you, sir.
Delighted to meet you.

I am Jonah Bernard,
and this is Eli.

How are you?
- You see, Eli.

My words did not fall
entirely on barren soil.

Oh, sir, you give me
fresh heart, new hopes.

Eli, it's a sign.
Our work must go on.

Yes, I go to
spread the word, Jonah.

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!

Hallelujah.

Mr. Steed, as you see,
I am a simple man,

but you are more
than welcome to my table.

Thank you.

What turn of fate set
your footsteps to my door, Mr. Steed?

I read your letters in the Times.
- You did?

You've had warning of the flood?
- Oh, indeed I have.

Something more positive than this I hope.
- Butterflies.

In the stomach?
- In the district.

The March Fritilare, oh, a rare little
creature usually found in watery districts.

But lately, the village
has been swarming with them.

And then
there's the birds.

The birds,
the bearded tits.

In from the marshland.

Suddenly every tree is alive
and bristling with their twitterings.

I tell you, Mr. Steed, this part
of the country is renown for its dryness.

Yet we are invaded by creatures
known to inhabit watery places.

The balance,
the balance of nature is disturbed.

Doom is in the air.

It's odd I'll grant you,
but not conclusive.

Then how do you account for the
weather we've been having lately?

You can't convince me
with that, not in this country.

Mr. Steed, suppose you saw the same cloud
in the same position in the sky, every day?

Impossible you say?
But I have seen such a thing.

The same cloud in the same
position in the sky, unchanging.

Save that each day
it gets a little larger.

Is it there today?
- It's there everyday.

Come, I'll show you.

On the chair,
if you please.

There, over
the wine factory.

Sorry, I'm late, Doctor.
The weather, you know.

Yes, most inclement.

Try this.
What do you think of it?

A little bit too dry.

Yes?
- Excuse me, Dr. Sturm, there's a Mrs. Peel to see you.

What does she
want, do you know?

It's something to do
with a man named Barker, Ted Barker.

I'm coming.

He'll be with you in a moment.
- Thank you.

Mrs. Peel?

Doctor Sturm?
- I'm afraid I'm very busy.

The I'll come right to the point.
It's about Ted Barker.

Yes, I remember.
Very tragic. Well?

He was found
in a field nearby.

As a matter of fact,
that field over there.

And the extraordinary thing
about it is, he was drowned.

I am familiar
with the facts.

I understand you have a
number of water tanks in the area?

Tell me, Mrs. Peel,
what is your interest?

Are you a relative
of the dead man,

trying to
extort compensation?

No, I'm a journalist,
a freelance journalist.

And when I heard about Barker's death,
I thought there might be a story in it.

Our water tanks are within
the compound of the factory.

Our security
arrangements are very strict.

No outsider could enter
here without our knowledge.

We need feel
no responsibility.

Then you have no objections
to my looking around the area?

I'm afraid I have the strongest
objections. Good day, Mrs. Peel.

Doctor Sturm!

Good day to
you, Mrs. Peel.

Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear...

Mrs. Peel,
it's you again.

You should be preparing.
The flood cometh.

Yes, well, I put a
down payment on a canoe.

Eli, I want to know
more about your brother.

He's gone.
There's no more to be said.

You say you actually saw
him going into the factory?

Several times.
Late at night.

Could you
show me the place?

Eli...

We have a
responsibility now, don't we?

We've got to remove temptation
from the path of potential sinners.

Now, if there's a way into the factory...
- Oh, there's a way in all right.

Well, I could take
steps to have it blocked off.

We don't want ''Granny's Grogs''
to claim another victim, now do we?

There's a way in through one
of the storage huts on the north side.

Meet me
there at 9 o'clock.

Good evening.
- Good evening, Mr. Steed.

You haven't by some
chance seen a young lady?

Mrs. Peel?
- Yes, I told her to meet me here.

Well, she was in,
some time ago.

Tell me...
is she a very sinful woman?

I beg your pardon?

This Mrs. Peel.
She looks so young.

But then you can
never tell by appearances.

Are you sure we're
talking about the same person?

Yes, Mrs. Peel.
Tall, slim, very attractive.

It's a pity, a great pity, because
she doesn't seem a sinful woman.

Then why do you think she is?
- It's what she said.

She came in, left a message
for you, that you're not to worry.

But she was going
into the pit of iniquity.

Is that all she said?
- That's all.

Drowned, you say?
- Yes.

Poor Eli.
And I promised him salvation from the flood.

But it was not to be.
Poor Eli.

It could be an accident.

He decided to sip the
surreptitious sap and slipped. Splash.

Impossible.
Eli was a teetotaller.

Ah, when the finger
of temptation beckons...

Also, it was
a water tank.

There seems to be
a surfeit of H2O in this vicinity.

How's your
meteorological science?

Bright in patches.

There's a load of equipment
waiting at the station to be picked up.

Now ordinarily I'd collect it, but...
- Extraordinarily you'd collect it.

We'll meet here in an hour.
I've got to buy some wine.

Can I help you?

Anytime.

Steed. John Steed of ''Steed, Steed,
Steed, Steed, Steed and Jacques Ltd.''

Wine merchants extraordinary.

How did Jacques get in?
- He didn't, he doesn't exist.

But in the wine trade you must have
that French touch, so I invented Jacques.

Do your relatives approve?
- Eh?

''Steed, Steed, Steed...''

Oh, as a matter of fact I invented
them too. Looks better on the card.

So you are
the real Steed.

I am he and I
have the pleasure of...

Joyce Jason.
- Delighted.

I have an appointment.

Dr. Sturm told me to look after you.
- Even more delighted.

You want to buy
some of our wine?

Oh, yes, that
was my intention.

Surely your method of
fermentation is a little primitive.

It's more like chutney,
that mighty cucumber.

Oh, that was 60 years ago.
Things have changed since then.

Especially since
Dr. Sturm took over.

When was that?

Two years ago. He's introduced
modern equipment, scientific apparatus.

I hope I might be
privileged to meet him.

Well, I
don't know that...

Oh, come now. If I like what I see
I shall make a very substantial order.

You want to sell
your wine, don't you?

Of course.
Of course, we do.

It's just that Dr. Sturm
he doesn't like people prying.

Appraising, Miss Jason.
I shall be appraising his ingenuity.

One doesn't buy the tree
without sampling the fruit.

But our catalogue
is very comprehensive.

Catalogue?

Honeyed blarberry wine.

That means
nothing to me, Miss Jason!

Where is the tang of blue blackberries gathered
in the early morning dew by barefoot peasant girls?

The rich nectared
taste of honeyed syrup?

Not here, but here:
the sun glinting on amber liquid.

And here: the nostrils assaulted
by the heady aromatics of a perfect bouquet.

And here,
most of all, here:

rolling, smooth syrup,
sweet liquid around the mouth.

alerting the taste buds, savouring
the sheer sensuality of a unique experience.

I have a very
acute palate, Miss Jason.

I'm very sorry, but I really
cannot find any help in this catalogue.

I'll talk to Dr. Sturm.

But we know
nothing about this man.

In my opinion,
you shouldn't have agreed.

Don't be silly. I told you I checked
on him when he made his appointment.

He's a bonafide
wine merchant.

But letting him wander around loose,
suppose he sees something?

What can he see?
Our secret process is our secret.

Mr. Steed.

This way.

Good morning, Mr. Steed.

Dr. Sturm?
- Yes. And this is my assistant, Martin Smythes.

How do you do?
It's extremely kind of you to let me look around.

Not at all, if you're going to sell our wine,
I think you should have a look around.

Now, this is our
main distillation area.

Distillation of wine?

Oh, I see what you mean.
We ferment our wine of course.

The final distillation
is merely to insure the perfect quality.

Over there we have the plant which
cleans and prepares our raw material.

And this is one
of our pulping presses.

You see, the old method
of treading won't do for us.

Oh?
- No, we make vegetable wine.

Mr. Steed, have you
ever tried to tread potatoes?

Point taken.

It's my own
design, by the way.

Here on this panel,
I can control the drop of the press,

accurately to 1/10,000 of an inch,
so we can pulp yet not bruise.

Now watch
this, Mr. Steed.

This is a solid piece of brass.
There.

All I do,
is lift this lever.

Remarkable!

Forty tons to the
square inch, Mr. Steed.

Quite a giant.
- Yet a gentle giant.

You designed it yourself?
- Every inch of it.

A long way
from wine making.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

After all, it's an improvement
of the old method isn't it?

But then I
dabble in many things...

Now you're being too modest.
That's a fine engineering feat.

Thank you very
much indeed Mr. Steed.

Well, we won't bore you much longer.
I'm sure you'd like to see our wine store, wouldn't you?

The main purpose of my visit.
Thank you very much indeed.

Ah, scientific,
very scientific.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Martin, you
worry too much.

I think you'll find this
a rather surprising wine.

Not unlike
a dry Hark.

What is it?
- Old bark.

Must have put
the dog in it too.

This then,
a sparkling buttercup.

Buttercup, eh?

Now that's
more my cup of tea.

Filthy day.

Must have been a
great year for buttercups.

You've decided then?

Well, I'll be
pleased to take your order.

Delicious.

I always wondered why
cows had that contented look.

Thought it must have
something to do with bulls.

Obviously the buttercups.

Mr. Steed,
I don't want to rush you,

Raining cats and dogs.
What terrible weather we're having.

but l am rather busy.

I'm terribly sorry. I'll take a couple
of gross of these. Confirm with you later.

This way.

Lovely weather
we're not having.

You can leave this way.

You've been a very great help.
Now, I'll be paddling along.

Dear, oh dear, oh dear,

oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...

Ah, Mrs. Peel, science
cannot avert the approaching doom.

Perhaps not, but science
will at least prepare us for it.

Oh, I can see you
do not believe in the flood.

You think I'm
just a crazy old man.

No, Jonah, I don't.

But I'm not prepared to believe anything
until I've made a thorough investigation.

What, with a
portable weather machine?

I wish I could make you see.
Help you to believe.

Have you shown
her the cloud?

All set, Mrs. Peel?
- Hey, what's all this about a cloud?

It's a kind of permanent fixture, isn't it, Jonah.
Same cloud, same place, every day.

It's a sign.

It's a cloud.

You can see it from over there.
I suggest you have a look.

We can go out later and find out
what your box of tricks makes of it all.

You get a better
view from the chair.

Oh, yes,
near the wine factory.

As a matter of fact, it's just over
the field where Ted Barker was found.

Doctor Sturm.
- Yeah.

There, in the field.

It's impossible, Steed.
Quite impossible.

A humidity reading
as high as this.

Is that bad?

Well, to get a reading this high,
you'd have to be in the jungles of Brazil,

or parts of equatorial Africa,
but here in England it's unheard of.

Yet here it is.
- I know.

Could it have been
that cloud brought it about?

No, a normal cloudy day
only produces a reading of...

It must be the machine.
It's giving me a faulty reading.

Perhaps. Well,
we'll check up on it.

Oh, how?

Heard of Sir Arnold Kelly?

Of course, he's the best
meteorological man in the country.

I've sent for him. He should
be waiting for us at Barnard's now.

Your flowers.

Sir Arnold.

Oh, Mr. Steed?

Whoa!

Over here.
- Yes, so sorry, so sorry.

These spectacles of mine,
keep misting up. I can't understand it.

Well, now Mr. Steed...

Oh.

Mrs. Peel,
Sir Arnold Kelly.

Very pleased to meet you, though
how anyone could mistake you for a man.

Sorry to keep you waiting.
- Not at all, not at all.

Been having a discussion
with Mr. Barnard about the weather.

Very droll.

Well then,
what have we?

Well, I've made
a preliminary reading.

Really? With what results ?
- These.

I'm sorry, I thought
for a moment that read

67.8 % humidity.

It does.
- Eh?

A little joke, eh, Steed?
- I'm afraid it's no joke, Sir Arnold.

What? Oh, come now.
67.8 %, ridiculous.

That was
the reading I got.

Well, equipment must be
faulty then. No other explanation.

Perhaps you'd like
to see for yourself?

Right away, I think. 67.8 %!
Luckily I brought my own equipment.

Now then, let's see.

Broken, absolutely shattered.
No wonder you got a false reading.

But never mind.
Use my own equipment.

We'll see you later, Sir Arnold.
- Eh? Oh, yes, yes.

Now, let's see what I'll...

That equipment was all right when we left.
- I know.

What do you think?

I think I'm going to sample
another bottle of Buttercup Brew.

Good bye.

Terribly sorry to burst in on you like this.
Knew you wouldn't mind.

Decided to take home with me
a couple of bottles of Best Buttercup,

taken at random, just to test their
overall quality. Ah, this way, isn't it ?

Mr. Steed!

Don't let me drag you away from
your work. I can find my own way.

All set for a wet winter.
I like that. Think ahead. This way?

Mr. Steed!
- Don't let me disturb you, gentlemen.

I tried to stop him.
- A bottle or two of Buttercup Brew.

Mr. Steed!

I'm going to pass it around my friends.
Give them a little taste.

And it's all
good for business.

Please, Mr. Steed!
- Be my guest, my dear.

I hope
you don't mind?

Of course we
don't mind, Mr. Steed.

As you say,
it is good for business.

Thank-you young fellow.
After you, my dear.

I hope you don't mind my sampling
a little of your brew while I'm in there?

My goodness me, what
have we here? Pulverized dry ice.

Ah ha,
I've caught you out.

Part of the
secret process, eh?

That's what puts the sharp
tangy flavor into Buttercup Brew.

You're quite right, Mr. Steed.
You've caught us out.

Ah ha,
excuse me, my dear.

See he gets what he wants
then get the idiot out of here.

Ah!

One bottle of buttercup
and one of dead weed.

Will that be all,
Mr. Steed?

I think so.
Thank you very much.

Very kind of you to
let me impose like this.

Not at all.

Splendid place you have here.
- l'm glad you approve.

Absolutely first class.
Strange about the rain, though.

Rain?

Yes, back there,
sound of rain all the time. Very odd.

Oh, that's just an illusion,
Mr. Steed. What you hear is this.

Liquid pouring into the vats
Many people make the same mistake.

Really, trouble
with your washer?

You mean to say it
was that all the time?

Yes.
- Oh, I can't believe it.

I'll tell you what, you turn
it off and I'll go back and listen.

I'm afraid, Mr. Steed,
we must ask you to leave now.

You're interrupting
important work.

l'm most terribly sorry.
Most foolish of me. Well, good bye to you.

Good bye to you.

Well, Miss Jason, I think I'll have a couple
of gross of the wheat and raisin. 2 dozen...

Idiot! Perhaps now
I can get back to my job.

Your troubles aren't over.
There's somebody down in the field again.

Can you see who it is?
- No.

It may be the same one as before.
It's hard to say from here.

He's alone
this time, anyway.

Freddy, give me
my glasses, please.

Thank you.

He's obviously got
some new equipment.

Here.

He's not
wearing a mackintosh.

Pity,
it looks like rain.

You know who he was?
- No.

Sir Arnold Kelly.
- The meteorologist?

Yes, one of the
nation's top weathermen.

You got rid of him?

He's safely out of sight.
- Good, good.

But what was he doing here?
And that woman who came to see us?

Mrs. Peel.
- Yes, where is she?

She's down at Jonah's place
waiting for Kelly to come back.

Sir Arnold Kelly and Mrs. Peel,
they didn't arrive here by accident.

Their interest was aroused by something
and I have an idea just what that something was.

Jonah Barnard, and
his letters to the Times.

Yes, I think he lowers
the tone of the neighbourhood.

Don't you think so?

Something should be done about it.
- Naturally.

Oh, by the way, Mrs. Peel was very
anxious to see over the plant, wasn't she?

I think we should
extend that courtesy to her.

Mrs. Peel.

We haven't met before.
Smythe. Martin Smythe. I work with Dr. Stern.

Oh?
- Yes.

The fact is, Mrs. Peel, the doctor
rather regrets turning you away the other day.

Can't antagonize
the press, can we?

He'd like you
to come over, now.

Right this minute?
- Please.

Well, I'm afraid it's
simply not convenient.

Please.

What are you doing there?
What are you doing, brother?

I, I want to help
you build your ark.

But you're from the
wine factory. You believe?

Yeah, I believe.
I want to be saved.

You do?
- Yeah.

Oh, boy, have
I misjudged you.

Well, Mrs. Peel, I don't
think you've told us all you know.

But you will,
I assure you, you will.

It may take a
little time of course.

Intervals of
1/1000 of an inch.

Not an excessive
pressure at the moment, no?

No, I think another half inch
before breathing becomes difficult.

Well, we'll give you a little time
to think about it, Mrs. Peel, until we are back.

A fraction more pressure
and your ribs will bend.

Another fraction
and your ribs will crack.

Well, think about it, and be ready with
your answers by the time we return, won't you?

Evil vipers
o'er the land.

Man has destroyed
mountains with his science,

has caused
his fellows to suffer.

His sins need to
be expiated, cleansed.

And for this,
the flood will come.

Mountains will disappear,
buildings will crumble.

Not a tree will be
seen over the entire land.

Well, thank you,
thank you, friend. Act on it.

Act, and act
soon. Thank-you.

I think you've
won over the dog.

Oh, not just
the dog, Mr. Steed.

Oh, another convert?

From the pit of iniquity, itself.
- Good.

Where's Mrs. Peel?
- She was here some time ago.

I tell you, all is not lost when I reclaim a
soul from that evil place of intoxicating liquors.

The wine factory?
- The very place.

And their foreman,
a young fellow named Frederick.

He was here?
- It wasn't but a half hour ago.

I tell you, I was inspired.
He came unbidden.

You haven't seen
Mrs. Peel since he arrived?

Why no.
What are you driving at?

What did he do
while he was here?

He listened to me.
- No, I mean where did he go, where did he stand?

Well, he was
interested in the ark.

Where was he then?
- Well, he was working there.

He was most
anxious to help.

These timbers,
how are they secured?

Oh, wooden pegs
and waterproof glue.

They're as secure as they can be?
- Sure.

I made them myself.
They would last 1000 years.

Stand back.

It was meant
to kill you.

You mean that man from the wine factory?
Why should anyone want to kill me ?

Why should anyone
want to kill Ted Barker or Eli?

And Sir Arnold Kelly,
he ought to be back by now.

Mr. Steed!

I am not a
violent man by nature,

but when faced
with a problem of survival...

I had an auntie
used to make biscuits like this.

''Rain contains silver iodide.
Excessive amount indicates it was introduced by man.''

What's silver iodide?

They used it 2 or 3
years ago in Arizona.

Arizona, America?

There was a
big drought there.

They were trying to
find ways of making rain.

Doesn't it
strike you as odd?

Odd? Making rain?
It's flying in the face of nature!

No. By all accounts this field
has a fairly high degree of rainfall.

And yet it never
seems to stay very wet.

What does that suggest to you?
- Good drainage.

This field is absolutely flat.
There's no natural drainage.

But you see,
Mr. Steed, around here...

Well...

Come on,
we'll get it up.

Now what?

Looks like being
a damp journey.

Now, mind yourself.
Mind yourself down there.

Well, Mrs. Peel, are you ready
to tell me who sent you here?

No one sent me.
I heard about Ted Barker's death and...

Oh, no no no,
that won't do at all.

How about
Sir Arnold Kelly?

I suppose his presence here
was merely accidental, was it?

Well?

Well, I'll just have to squeeze
the information out of you.

This way.

Come on.

Uncomfortable, Mrs. Peel?

But no pain, I trust?

No, you're still 1/8th
of an inch from real pain.

Believe me, Mrs. Peel,
I don't enjoy this any more than you do.

But I have to
protect my interests.

My colleague and I have just
reached the end of a long, hard road.

We don't want to have that jeopardized.
Not now, that we've finally succeeded.

Succeeded? In what?

Succeeded in
making rain, Mrs. Peel.

Rain such as the world
has never seen before.

Torrential,
driving rain to order.

Can you comprehend
the power now in my hands?

A machine,
a system of convection,

chemicals and electronics,
geared to one process.

What's that?
- The manufacture of rain.

As you may know there is moisture
in the air, which we breath at all times.

And my machine
makes use of that moisture.

Excellent use.

To what end?

Well, originally to a very selfish end.
I wanted to water my garden.

But now I suppose
I will grow fat from my discovery.

Because Martin wants to
sell to the highest bidder.

One of the
big military nations.

He's already put out feelers
in certain parts of the globe.

A military nation
with a rain making device?

But it's much more
than that, Mrs. Peel.

Don't you see? It's the biggest
military weapon since the nuclear bomb.

Relentless,
never ceasing rain.

Rockets and
planes grounded.

Whole armies locked
down or washed away.

Centuries of multicultural wealth
destroyed in a couple of minutes.

A great flood to order.

Doctor Sturm?

We're waiting for you.
- Ah, yes, yes, I'm coming.

Forgive me, Mrs. Peel.
Campaigns to plan.

But I'll be back,
you may depend on that.

You diabolical
mastermind you.

Gentlemen should
knock before entering.

What are you?
The sparkle in the seaweed soda?

No, I'm the kick
in the nettle noggin.

Never mind. I'll have you out of
here in two shakes of a swizzle stick.

Dr. Sturm told me how to
operate this to 1/1000 of an inch.

I twiddle this
little knob here,

turn this switch here,

and press this lever up.

Or was it down?

l think it was up.

Well, let's make a change.
Press it down.

Hallelujah!

You were looking at it
upside down, Mrs. Peel.

Come on. It must
have been terrible experience.

There you are.

...a terrible experience.

Untie her ankles. I'll warm her
up to get the circulation going.

Did you know what you
were doing or am I just lucky?

Of course I knew.
I'll show you.

Take one ordinary
Cornwell Garden bowler hat.

One turns this knob
here, pushes up this lever,

and the gentle giant crashes
down to stop within 1/1000 of an inch

of my bowler hat.

It was over very quickly.
I don't think it suffered.

You heard what Sturm said.
The coming flood is not the work of nature.

Some kind of machinery.
Let's try through there.

Hallelujah.

Thank you, Mrs. Peel.

Lovely for the complexion.

Dr. Sturm?

It says on these charts
it's been raining here for about a year.

There it is.

They're about
in for a dry spell.

The flood is here!
The flood is here!

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!
And the wicked shall be cast into...

Who done that?
- Ready?

The flood is coming!

Ah! The flood is coming!
I told you! I told you the flood is coming!

Get out of here!
Get out of here!

The flood is coming!
The flood is coming!

Hallelujah!

Put them over here
where we can keep our eye on them.

One, two, three.

Where's Dr. Sturm?

Oh, I didn't know.
I thought you...

l thought you...

The machine's burnt out.

Bless you!
- Oh, I think I'm catching a cold.

Get your feet wet?

This'll do you good:
''Granny Gregson's Marrow Rum.''

What's that?

I got a ticket for Jonah's ark.
I like to be on the safe side.

Bon Voyage. I see you're
sharing a cabin with a Jersey cow.

l've got a weakness
for big brown eyes.

Bless you.

Subtitles : rick@peoplesguidetothecosmos.com