All language subtitles for L.A.Law.S03E05.The.Princess.and.the.Pee.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track4_[eng]

[rustling]

Alright, we have
a lot of ground to cover,

so why don't we get started?

Fire away, Arnie.

We're already in
agreement on the children.

Mm-hmm.

The house goes to Sheila,

Douglas provides $2,500 a month
in maintenance

and continues to
pay the utilities.

Place in Santa Barbara
gets sold and proceeds split.

Unless you want to hold onto it.

No, no.

Douglas establishes a trust fund

for the kid's education

to be administered by Sheila.

Sheila's interest in McKenzie
Brackman to be bought out

for $200,000 payable
upon execution.

- Sounds good so far, Sheila.
- It's fine.

Sheila takes the Jaguar,
Douglas takes the Mercedes...

and maintains the
insurance on both.

[clinks]

The stamp collection, inherited

from Douglas's father
and augmented

with community assets,
will be retained by Douglas.

Only because it's
a link to my father.

It's fine, really.

Arnie: Well, that's
substantially it.

I prepared a
schedule of everything

so you can verify the figures.

Great. [paper rustling]

Well, I must say,
I never expected

such an amicable get together.

Stan: Arnie.
Arnie: Stan--

There's one more thing.

Douglas: Your place in
the Brackman family plot.

What about it?

I'm keeping it for you.

[chair creaks]

I want the ages
to find us together.

That's a beautiful gesture.

Actually, Douglas, I just assume
make my own arrangements.

Anyway, it's there
if you want it.

Just a second, Arnie.

Sheila, we have a prime location

at Encino Knolls,
overlooking the golf course.

Douglas: Our sons will join
us when their time comes.

If you remarry,
your future husband

can even be interred there.

I have an option
in the entire hillside.

Sublet it, you'll
make out great.

In any event, it's
only a minor detail.

We can always work
it out in the papers.

Just a minute, I want
us laid to rest as a family.

- But we're not a family.
Douglas: We have kids.

Married or not, you're
their mother, I'm their father.

Can our only real
permanent address

finally acknowledge that?

If I thought I was going
to be buried with you

that alone would give me the
will to go on living forever?

[clink]

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

[paper rustling]

Victor, peace offering.

Lakers game, Thursday night,
what do you say?

- Greatness. Thanks.
- Alright.

male #1: No idea?
- Mm-hmm.

What's the word
on Abby, Michael?

- She's clear.
- Good.

The DA is satisfied
that she shot him

in self defense and
that the gun was legal.

Any other referrals to
send her way, Douglas?

Shall we get started?
First of all,

since there seems
to be some perverse pleasure

in ignoring my repeated
request to cut back

on the flagrant waste of
paper goods around here,

I've taken some
unilateral action.

Beginning tomorrow,
reusable cloth towel dispensers

will be installed
in both lavatories.

Duly noted.

Ann, how goes the
Amanda Shaw libel case?

Trial starts a week from today.

I have better than
six full cartons

of depositions to
go through by then.

Are you at all
available, Victor?

I have a court
appearance tomorrow, but

I can give you some
time after that, Ann.

Israel et. al. versus
Lawlor Millicron?

That's me, it's a Shareholder
derivative suit and

Lawlor's house counsel brought
us in to help beat it back.

And I'm gonna need
some help chasing down

the bona fides
of the plaintiffs.

I'm preparing the
Castellano case for trial,

but sure, I'll squeeze it in.

I really appreciate it.

We need to get some
new associates in here.

Douglas: No kidding.

Who do you think placed
ads in the paper and spent

the last week and a
half interviewing people?

- Anyone even close?
Douglas: No.

A singularly
unimpressive lot so far.

Well, we keep looking,
that's all we can do.

You know, for what it's worth,
the guy I'm up against

in the Tecowsky
case would be great.

- Who is it?
Kuzak: Richard Mathers.

A sole practitioner, he's
really great on his feet.

I went up against him in the
Salamander case, he is good.

What's his background?

University of Pennsylvania, '83.

Does a lot of
commercial litigation.

I dated a girl who
was in that class.

Why don't you check him out?

Brackman: How goes
the case, Michael?

Well, I offered to
throw in the policy

one last time and
they turned it down.

We should have upped the offer.

No, I disagree.

Gil Tecowsky
sold this guy a car.

This guy gets in an accident,
where's the liability?

It was a souped up car.

The plaintiff was
incompetent to drive it.

That doesn't mean
our guy's on the hook.

He's the one that souped it up.

Well, there's nothing
negligent about selling a guy

a GTO Tri-Power if that's
what he wants to buy.

Personally, I fail
to see the appeal.

Really? Not me.

I had a '64 Impala,
lifted front and back.

Sifuentes: Candy paint and a
set of gold Daytons

with 520 sportways all around.

Is my carrucha firma?

To think I traded
that all in for

a briefcase and a
Japanese sedan.

[all laugh]

Well, when I was a child,

I spake as a child.

Brackman: I understood as
a child, I thought as a child.

But when I became a man,

I put away childish things.

For now, we see
through a glass darkly.

But then face to face.

Ain't that the truth?

[siren wails]

[engines revving]

[knocks on door]

[clinks on door]

Lieutenant Ringstrom's
here to see you.

[siren wails in distance]

- Ms. Perkins. Hi.
- Hi.

How are you holding up?

Fine.

Glad to hear it.

Oh, uh [paper rustling],

I'm returning your gun.

[clinks]

Um, could you
put it back, please?

Sure, I thought you
might have wanted it back.

Not yet.

- Um, I can't.
- I'm sorry.

I-- I should've contacted
you before I brought it over.

God! Couldn't even look at it.

Abby, someone tried to
kill you, you didn't let them.

So how come I keep
crying for no reason?

How come all I can think about

is what those
little bullets did?

His whole body jerked
every time he was hit.

I must play it back in
my head in slow motion

a 100 times a day.

Why don't you think about
taking some time off?

'Cause I only have a handful
of cases as it is,

and I can't afford
to let any of them go.

[sighs]

Can't you put them
on hold for a little while?

How can I put them on hold?

I have two trials
starting this month.

I have-- I have a client
who's fighting an eviction.

Abby: I said I'd write a habeas
corpus writ for some guy

who's in prison, and I don't
even have any idea

where my next month's
rent is coming from.

Plus, I have to interview
some biker in Fontana

who I need as a witness,
but I've been putting that off,

mostly because I
am scared to death.

Would it help if I went along?

- I can't ask you to do that.
Bill: Why not?

I moonlight for
attorneys all the time,

my fees are reasonable.

And if you need to, you
can always run a tab.

[horn honks in distance]

The thing is, I have
to do it tomorrow.

I'll pick you up.

[screen rattles]

[clinks on door]

- Here we are. See that?
- Oh, boy, a door prize.

Whoever said that going to
the gynecologist wasn't fun?

Okay, what do I do?

Your basal
temperature chart shows

your regular monthly ovulation.

The kit uses a urine sample
to pinpoint exactly when.

[rustling]

Dr. Karen:
Given Stuart's sperm count,

the odds are against you.

But at least you'll be able
to maximize your chances.

Doesn't sound very
romantic, does it?

Wanting babies
is what is romantic.

Steps you take don't have to be.

I'll try to remember that.

How are you two managing?

Oh, we've been better.

It's not an easy thing.

Stuart always
thought it would just

be a matter of
making up his mind.

He has a hard time accepting
the fact that it's not.

What about you?

[rustling]

Oh, I don't know, Karen.

Right this way.

The thought of never
really being pregnant,

feeling the baby,
kicking, the whole thing...

that makes me pretty sad.

Anne, listen.

I know how much
this means to you

and you're doing
everything you can.

- Don't give up.
- I won't.

Thanks.

You're saying then, that your
husband was a terrible driver?

It was a standing joke among
everyone who knew him.

We were just glad
that he drove slowly.

After we bought the
hot rod in question,

did you ever
ride with him in it?

- Object to the term hot rod.
- Sustained.

After he bought the modified

1964 Pontiac GTO in question...

did you ever
ride with him in it?

Only once. I refused to after
that, I was terrified.

It skidded all over
the place, it-- it--

it lurched when he
started it up.

It was obvious that he
didn't know how to control it.

Asked that the witness' response
be stricken in its entirety,

Your Honor, to the extent
that she is testifying

as to the specific driving
capabilities

of her husband or the behavior
of an automobile

she is wholly unqualified.

She's testifying
to what she saw.

While she was, in her
own words, terrified.

I'll allow the answer.
But I'd like you

to move on, Mr. Mathers.

[rustling]

Could you tell us
what special care

your husband
requires, Ms. Toland?

Objection, she's not
qualified as a doctor, either.

Mathers: She doesn't have to
be a doctor, she lives with him.

Overruled, gentlemen, please.

Ms. Toland: Barry has to have

someone with him at all times.

I work during the day now,

so we have a nurse
five days a week.

He...

he needs physical therapy,

anti-seizure medication

and monthly examinations.

Look at him.

This bright, bright man.

Ms. Toland: College
professor before he was thirty.

This terrific talker who
doesn't talk anymore.

Knowing the way he
used to be and seeing him now...

I'm only sorry that he
knows the difference.

I have no further questions.

[Ms. Toland crying]

[sighs]

Would you like to
take a few minutes?

No, I'm-- I'm... I'm fine.

Ms. Toland did your
husband characterize

himself as a terrible driver?

No, [chuckles] what man does?

[chuckles] None that I know of.

In fact, didn't your husband,
like most men

think of himself as a
simply sensational driver?

Objection. The witness
is in no position

to know what her
husband thought.

Judge Reeves: Sustained.

Miss Toland...

did you ever tell your
husband that you were

against him buying this GTO?

Yes, I did. Of course.

He said that it was
the quintessential muscle car

and that he could handle it.

But he was just
bragging, though?

No, it was more like he was
trying to convince himself.

Do you suppose that
he was just bragging

to Gil Tecowsky when
he went to buy the car?

My husband had
a natural curiosity

about a great many things.

He was the scholarly
man, not this braggard

that you're
making him out to be.

If I've offended you,
I apologize.

Let me suggest...

that it was his very
scholarliness,

which permitted
him to assimilate

massive amounts
of arcane detail...

which he would then
spew forth in an attempt

to impress whomever
he was talking to.

Objection. Counsel's
making a speech.

Let me suggest...

that he set out to
convince the defendant

not only that he was capable
of driving that car,

but that he was also
an old hand at it.

Your Honor, I've lodged
an objection, I want a ruling.

What's the question, Mr. Kuzak?

Doesn't that sound like
your husband, Ms. Toland?

Doesn't that sound like what

this terrific talker would do?

[sobbing]

I have no further questions
at this time, Your Honor.

[Toland sobbing]

female 1: Yes sir.

Put a regular clothing on it.

[door slides]

Mike, hang on.

[phone rings]

- I checked out Richard Mathers.
- Oh, yeah?

- What's the book on him?
- There is none.

My friend went to the
University of Pennsylvania.

Never heard of him.
Marindale-Hubbell doesn't

list them. The California
state Bar Association,

the American bar association

have absolutely
no record of him.

How can that be? They
got a record of every lawyer.

That's right.

What are you trying to tell me,
that he's not a lawyer?

Never went to law school,
never passed The Bar,

never got admitted in
this state or any other.

[indistinct chatter
in background]

Excuse me.

[elevator bell dings
and door slides]

[phone rings]

Now you have my
resume, Mr. Brackman?

- I do indeed.
- I'll be expecting your call.

Excellent. Thanks for coming in.

By the way, I like the
organizational dynamics

I see around here.
I think I could play a role.

[indistinct chatter
in background]

[phone rings]

[indistinct chatter
in background]

You at all close to
a decision, Douglas?

Nussbaum's been calling me,
like, every half hour.

I never thought a grave would
matter that much to me, Arnie.

Becker: Well, I've got to
tell you, it's about

the stupidest argument
I've ever heard.

Everything you're
asking for is totally

unenforceable from your
end and costs her nothing.

The fact that you two feel
fit to make it a deal breaker

tells me you're still
looking to stay attached.

Brackman: Did it ever occur to
you that I might just

be a little terrified
of the great beyond?

That I might just want
to surround myself

with the people
I've been closest to?

That there just might be
some strength in numbers?

What numbers?

No matter who
you're lying next to,

you go out of this life alone.

I don't want to go out alone.

No? It's as much a
part of being human

as what you're doing right now.

[rustling] So is
wanting a family.

Becker: Douglas.
[water gurgling]

A cluster of tombstones
is not a family.

You need to let her go, you need
to get on with your own life.

- Am I right, Beno?
- Uh, right, Arnie.

[footsteps]

[water gurgling]

[tap screeching]

You long for peace,

you long for stability...

but your emotions keep you

on a roller coaster
ride through hell.

[Markowitz knocks on door]
Ann?

Oh, Madame Curie.

[sighs]

[door closes] So tell me,

are we close to
a breakthrough yet?

You just made me spill urine
all over the Shaw complaint.

[rustling] Damn it.

Maybe you should
put a little red light

or something outside your door.

Maybe I should just
check into a sanitarium.

[sighs]

I have the Shaw
trial starting this week.

I have the Voorhees appeal
due the first of next month.

I'm about to get hit with
sanctions if I don't provide

Jeff Liddle's firm
with the discovery

they're after in Kaplowitz.

And what am I doing? This!

So tell me, has the
magic dot appeared yet?

As a matter of fact, it has.

- Great.
- [sighs] Good.

Okay, good, so figure on sex

twice within
the next three days.

Good, [smacking lips] go.

You uh...

you want to be a
little more precise about that?

Markowitz: I mean, I've got a
pretty busy week myself.

I mean, what is exactly
our window of opportunity?

[paper rustling]
Alright, Stuart.

Starting within the next 40
hours and lasting for 30 hours.

Alright, so that means
anytime between now and

03:00 a.m., Thursday,
until 07:00 a.m., Friday.

Right. [paper rustling]

Markowitz: Alright.

Now I can plan my week.

- Would you excuse me, please?
- Yeah.

[clinks on door]

[loud indistinct chatter]

[footsteps]

Tell me this, am I the
first to find out about you?

Find out what?

You must have known that someday
someone would check you out.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Oh, I think you know exactly

what I'm talking about, counselor.

[loud indistinct chatter]

Come on.

[clinks on door]

Looks like I have a problem.

[clinks on door]
We both got a problem.

If I go to the court right now
with what I know about you,

there will be an
automatic mistrial.

Kuzak: Since my client has spent

more than $50,000 in legal fees

and waited more than three
and a half years to get this

little matter resolved,
he doesn't want a mistrial.

Get to the punchline.

Recommend that your client
accept the settlement offer.

Would you sell out your
client to protect yourself?

I don't consider it a sellout.

It was a reasonable offer
before we went to trial.

It's an even more
reasonable offer now.

You think I got you beat, Mike.

[scoffs]
If I thought you had me beat,

I'd go in there and have a
mistrial declared right now.

You want to turn me in,
turn me in.

But don't threaten to expose me
as a way to jack up my client.

No settlement?

On the terms you're offering,
no chance.

- Okay. [thud]
Mathers: What are you gonna do?

[clinks on door]

[loud indistinct chatter]

male #2: Yeah, yeah.

[sighs]

[engines rumbling]

[upbeat music on radio]

[balls clink] Excuse me.

I'm looking for Randy Huggins.

[laughter in distance]

So?

Someone told me I
could find him here.

Who told you that?

I'm a lawyer,
I represent Val Necco.

[balls clink]

I don't talk to lawyers,
it's against my religion.

Excuse me.

You a lawyer, too?

No, actually, I'm
a lieutenant with

the Los Angeles
Police Department.

[balls clink]

And just looking around I notice
you've got a inebriated patron

asleep on your premises, you're
smoking a cigarette behind

the bar, both violations of the
Alcoholic Beverage Commission.

Plus, I just bet the
water you're washing

those glasses in
isn't quite hot enough.

[music continues]

The guy with the
long hair playing pool.

I appreciate it.

[balls clink]

[laughter]

[balls clink]

Randy Huggins?

Who's asking?

My name is Abigail Perkins.

And? [balls clink]

I'd like to talk to
you about Val Necco.

Your testimony
might be the only thing

that keeps him out of prison.

Val Necco.

I never heard of no
Val Necco before.

[balls clink]

[music continues]

You his old lady or something?

No, I'm his attorney.

[balls clink]

She's an itty bitty thing,
ain't she?

Just your type.

I bet if you
take off your shirt,

Randy would tell you
whatever you wanna know.

Hey.

Now, she just wants to
ask a few questions.

Why don't you give
her a break, huh?

What are you, a cop?

Why, you doing
something illegal?

I'm playing pool.

Eight ball in the corner.

[balls clink]

Oh, come on now, fellas.

Are you going to make
her get a subpoena?

Hey, you're in my way.
[loud thud]

Come on, Bill, forget about it,
let's just go, okay?

Yeah, take your girlfriend
and get out of here.

Better yet, you split and
leave the chick with us.

- Think you'd like that, baby?
- Hey, you being rude.

Get your fingers
out of my chest.

Why? [thud] Am I hurting you?

[loud clinks]

Not nearly as much
as I'm going to hurt you.

[clinks on gun]

[music continues]

Drop it.

[clinks]

[gun cocks]

[gun cocks]

[cheerful music]

[tires rustling]

Mr. Tecowsky, would you please
describe your business for us?

I have a shop in Redondo Beach
where I restore and

modify American
performance cars.

- GTOs, Chevelle, 'Cudas.
- Mm-hmm.

And when Barry Toland
came into your shop,

what exactly did he say?

He said he wanted to buy a Goat.

- Which you took to mean...
- Pontiac GTO.

And did you ask him if he'd ever
driven a car like that before?

- No, sir, I did not.
- Why is that?

Heh. Because he-- he-- he
talked like a, like an expert.

Like he had driven
one all of his life.

Kuzak: Thank you. I have no
further questions, Your Honor.

[footsteps]

Mr. Tecowsky...

how is the GTO that
Mr. Toland purchased from you

different from one he could
have bought at a Pontiac dealer?

[gasps]

You want me to be specific?

I want you to be very specific.

I uh, board out the engine,
put in over sized pistons.

Mr. Tecowsky:
Edelbrock manifold,

Headman headers,
Holly Carbs, Iski cam--

Even more of a muscle
car than the stock model.

- You could say that, yeah.
- Quicker off the line.

More power, shorter
response time.

Object to council's commentary.

Sustained, strike it.

That Iski cam was
modified to what's

known as three
quarter race, right?

That's right.

That made the car rev a
lot faster than a stock GTO.

- Didn't it?
- Yeah.

It also made it far more

apt to lurch forward, didn't it?

Calls for a conclusion.

He's qualified to
make a conclusion.

Yeah, the witness can answer.

It would only lurch forward if
he didn't know how to drive it.

Exactly. Thank you.

Now, that being the case,

didn't you think it prudent to
take Mr. Toland

for a little ride
around the block

to see if he did
know how to drive it?

There was no reason
to think that he didn't.

He came in knowing
exactly what he wanted.

I don't think he wanted to be
brain damaged

for the rest of his life.

- Objection.
- Sustained and stricken.

I didn't send for this guy,
I ain't no hustler.

Mr. Tecowsky:
I do what I do for people

who like to drive fast cars.

- That's enough, Mr. Tecowsky.
- I'm sorry, judge.

I don't get it,
why is this my fault?

The man's a big shot professor.

I didn't even finish
the eighth grade.

Why should I look out after him?

Because you knew what
you were doing...

and he didn't.

Mathers: That's why.

[loud indistinct chatter]

[bell dings]

- Grace!
- Hi.

Hi. I heard you
signed the Necco case.

Yeah. Think we can plead
it out? Go have lunch?

Well, my guy will still be
facing a parole violation.

[scoffs] He's not expecting

accommodation
from the mayor, is he?

What I really need
is the continuance.

[loud indistinct chatter]

Well, it would put
me in a bad spot.

I have two witnesses
down here ready to testify.

All I'm looking for is a week.

You've had two continuances
already, you ask for another one

the judge is going to
pin your ears back.

Not if you don't oppose it.

He's not gonna care
if I oppose it or not.

This is McGrath we're
talking about, Abby.

Look, Grace, I'm a
little shaky right now.

Can't you of all people
understand that?

Yes.

So I think that you
should let them reassign

a few of your cases and give
yourself the time you need.

Thank you very much.

I'll take my
chances with McGrath.

I think we'll find
it at the cafeteria.

[loud indistinct chatter]

People versus Valentine Necco.

Your Honor, may I
approach the bench?

Your Honor, the people aren't
ready to proceed at this time.

McGrath: What?
- My apologies to the court.

But I respectfully request
a two week continuance.

Your predecessor assured me

that this one was ready to go.

I know, Your Honor.

McGrath: He told me there'd be
no more delays.

My present calendar
just got hopeless--

And he especially promised me

that I wouldn't have to hear

any excuses about
how busy anybody was.

McGrath: Two week continuance

marked final against both sides.

Next case.
[paper rustling]

People versus
Lawrence Edward Kohn.

This one yours too,
Ms. Van Owen?

Yes, it is, Your Honor.

You're going to ask me
for another continuance?

No, Your Honor.

The people are ready to proceed.

Well, how nice.

[paper rustling]

[clinks on door]

Thank you.

- Who's next?
- Dorothy Wyler?

[rustling]

[phone rings]

- Ms. Wyler.
- Hello.

[beeps]

- You clerk for Judge Gladwin?
- Yes.

You were an associate at
Harborn Bullock.

Have a seat.

You did a lot of
appellate work, I see.

[paper rustling]

I was never really
a courtroom person,

but I know my way
around a law library.

Where have you been since 1969?

Well, I stopped work when
my youngest was born.

She just turned nineteen.

I find myself recently
divorced, so here I am.

You've been gone quite a while.

My skills will be a little
rusty, but I'll get them back.

I've taken a few courses
with PLI and...

one thing I've never been
accused of is being lazy.

Ms. Wyler, I admire
your determination.

But I'm wondering if
you've forgotten what it's like

to be a junior
associate in a busy firm.

In other words, is a 52
year old woman prepared

to take orders from an
associate half her age?

Well, yes.

Why on earth would you want to
put yourself through all that.

Compared to my divorce?

Let me tell you, it's nothing.

The papers on mine were
supposed to be filed this week.

Wyler: I'm sorry.

I must say, as miserable
as we were together...

the emotional
reality of divorce...

the sense of personal failure...

has devastated me.

[groans]

Wyler: I was devastated, too.

There are still mornings
when I lie there thinking that

there isn't a solitary
person in the world

who'd notice whether
or not I got out of bed.

The mornings are the
worst time for me, too.

You're drifting in
and out of sleep...

reliving other mornings
from years ago.

Brackman: The kids were little,
and they'd climb into bed.

The whole family burrowing
underneath the blankets.

All sleepy and warm.

Only now, when you open
your eyes, the kids are gone.

Your wife is gone.

And there's no
one there but you.

It isn't always easy to let
go and get on with things.

You've done it.

Wyler: Only because I looked
at my life for what it was

instead of what I'd
hoped it would be.

Sometimes we want things to
be a certain way so badly we...

lose sight of the
way they really are.

Ultimately, I didn't
let go of a marriage.

I let go of an illusion.

Anyway, I'm sure you're not that
interested in my personal life.

Wyler: I have a feeling I'm
not what you're looking for.

Thank you for your
time, Mr. Brackman.

[clicks tongue] Ms. Wyler.

[indistinct chatter]

[phone rings]

I have to talk to
my partners, but uh...

female #2: Uh-huh.
male #3: I think it'll all...

Would you be able
to start Monday?

[indistinct chatter
in background]

[chuckles]

The defendant profits by
providing driving enthusiasts

with cars designed for maximum
thrills and minimum safety.

Now, I don't think I'm
being unreasonable in asking

that he take a few
basic precautions.

Mathers: So that these
lethal instruments not be

lurching out of
control on our streets.

When he sold that car to
Barry Toland, he set in motion

an accident waiting to happen.

And for that, he was
horrendously negligent...

to the plaintiffs and to each
and every one of us who drive...

who walk or who guide our
children across the street.

My client had a professorial
love of popular culture.

He liked the sound of
saying he had a '64 Goat.

Mathers: But he didn't have
a clue what it would be

like to drive one.
He never considered

that if he shifted wrong...

the rear end would seize up,
the wheels would lock...

and he would be sent
speeding into a concrete wall.

Now, I think Gil Tecowsky
had an obligation.

To ascertain the degree
of Barry Toland's expertise.

Mathers: All it would've taken
was a ride around the block.

But if he had warned him, it
might have cost him the sale.

Justice demands

that his negligence

cost him more...

much more.

Wouldn't it be great if we could
all be protected from ourselves?

Steep ski slopes
could be made gentle

so that the clumsy
wouldn't fall.

Raging rivers could be dammed

so that the inexperienced
wouldn't drown.

Spirited horses could be broken

so the neophyte
wouldn't be thrown.

Our lives would all
be made a little safer.

And a little duller.

Until one day we'd look up and
wonder what had become of us.

Kuzak: If you find for
the plaintiff in any degree...

if you impose on an honest
tradesman like Gil Tecowsky

the obligation to be
a surrogate parent

for every person who
walks into his shop...

then you will wipe him out.

Richard Mathers might say
that's a small price to pay.

After all, who wants
these gas guzzling

speedsters racing down
our streets anyway?

Well, I'm here to
tell you that if we lose

the Gil Tecowskys of this world

we lose something of
ourselves as well.

If we straitjacket the genius...

if we punish the audacity
found in the back alleys

and industrial flats
of this country...

if we judge a product
solely on its safety

in the hands of the incompetent,

then we will
find ourselves living

under the tyranny
of the mediocre,

in a land where the lowest
common denominator rules.

Kuzak: Now, we can feel bad for
what happened to Barry Toland

without relieving him
of the responsibility

for bringing it about.

But...

if we blame Gil Tecowsky...

we punish the
dreamer for his dreams.

And we reduce every last
one of us in the process.

[paper rustling]

[footsteps]

[paper rustling]

"On the charges of negligence,

fraud and breach of warranty

we find for the defendant."

[sighs and chuckles]

Judge Reeves: This time
I'd like to thank the jury

for its time and patience.

Your Honor... [chair creaks]

I move that the court set aside

the verdict and
declare a mistrial.

Judge Reeves: On what grounds?

The plaintiffs were not
represented

by an attorney at law.

They were represented by you.

I'm not an attorney, Your Honor.

And even though these people
didn't know anything about it,

counsel for the defense did,
thereby placing me

at a severe disadvantage in
terms of a negotiating posture.

Gentlemen, in my chambers.

Jury is to be held.

Mathers: Your Honor, the
paramount issue here must be

the interest of the parties, not
the misconduct of an attorney.

Or an individual
serving in that capacity.

Excuse me, I'll
get to you later.

Mr. Kuzak, are you
at all familiar with

the canon of ethics as it
pertains to an attorney's

obligation when he discovers the
unauthorized practice of law?

Your Honor.

When he's made aware of the

ongoing commission of a crime.

Forgive me, Your Honor, but

I didn't think that my client
should be victimized

by this man's fraud.

He didn't hesitate
to try to victimize

my clients with his own
opportunism, though.

Thank you, Mr. Mathers.

You weren't going to say
anything unless you lost.

Is that right, Mr. Kuzak?

All I was doing was trying
to mitigate the damage.

That isn't your role. When you
found out, you had an obligation

to reveal what you knew, period!

With all due respect, Your
Honor, Mr. Mathers may be

lacking in character,
but his clients received

legal representation at least
as good as that provided by most

of the licensed practitioners
to be found in these courts.

That in no way vitiates
the need for a mistrial.

There is a presumptive
conclusion that a party

can receive adequate
representation only

from an attorney
licensed to practice.

Kuzak: The Toland's
got a fair trial.

Justice isn't served
by declaring it void.

Thank you for your
commentary, gentlemen.

Judge Reeves: Mr. Kuzak,
despite your rhetoric,

you were party to
defrauding this court.

I'm declaring this a mistrial.

And I'm referring you to
the disciplinary committee

of the Bar Association,
you can tell them

how you were trying to serve
the interests of justice.

[chair squeaks]

Mr. Mathers.

Judge Reeves: Is this
the first case you've lost?

[sighs] No.

Then why the confession now?

Because these people
were more innocent

and more ruined than any clients
I ever had before, that's why.

Mathers: They
had terrific lives.

Then, wham, the bottom fell out.

Placed their trust in me
to try to obtain for them...

little [chuckles]
financial security.

Seems like honoring that trust

is a little more important
than covering my ass.

[clinks on phone]

Gene, will you come in here?

[clears throat]

You're smooth, mister.

Judge Reeves: But I suspect that
whatever you'll call yourself,

whatever trade you'll
appear to ply

first, last and forever,

you'll always be a con man.

Lock Mr. Mathers up.

[rattles on handcuff]

[pensive music]

[clinks on door]

[thud]

[loud indistinct chatter]

Hi.

Hi, sit down.

[loud indistinct chatter]

- Ah, you want a beer?
- Sure.

[loud indistinct chatter]

[liquid burbling]

- There you go. [thud]
- Thank you.

[bell dings]

[loud indistinct chatter]

- Here.
- What's this?

Sworn statement
from Randy Huggins.

I believe it gives your client
just what he's looking for.

[paper rustling]
How'd you get it?

I can be very persuasive.

He's not gonna die of internal
injuries before the trial date?

Never laid a hand on him.

Must have ice
water in your veins.

Don't you believe it.
I've just learned a few tricks

to make it look that way.

[paper rustling]

[Abby sobbing]

Hey...

[loud indistinct chatter]

Come on now, take it easy.
Here, here.

[gasps]

I'm sorry, it's...

[inhales sharply]
it's just that a lot of people

have been doing me
a lot of favors lately. [gasps]

And it makes me
feel so helpless, like...

like I can't take
care of myself.

[chuckles]

Which I guess I can't
very well right now.

[loud indistinct chatter]

Listen to me.

Bill: I killed a guy
who was holding a hostage,

put six shots in his head while
he was holding a knife

to a woman's throat.

So I'm a big hero, right?

My pictures in the
paper, the whole thing.

A month later,
I'm on medical disability,

sitting home all day
with the shades drawn,

drinking vodka
and watching television.

Now, I'm not a hero.

I'm just a basket case.

Well, you managed to pull
yourself together pretty well.

Little by little,
you put it behind you.

How?

Bill: Don't try to pretend

it didn't happen.

I mean, don't try to
tough it out.

When it gets rough, call me.

You're not alone.

Can you take this
good care of everyone?

No. The truth is, I don't.

[loud indistinct chatter]

[chuckles in background]

But I've got a wicked
crush on you, Abigail.

You might as well know it.

[sighs]

Oh, boy.

Hey, it's-- it's not
going to be a problem.

I mean, if you want to keep it
strictly business, that's fine.

No, that's not okay.

Abby: Because I'm
attracted to you, too.

That said, you'll excuse me,
I have to get home.

Wait-- wait a minute,
shouldn't we talk about this?

There's nothing to talk about.

[rattling]

Bill, this is a mistake
that is not gonna happen.

- Excuse me.
- As attracted to you...

As I might be, I'm not looking
for a hot weekend.

Neither am I.

Well, I don't have time in my

life for anything more.

I have a seven year old son
to raise.

I have a struggling law
practice to contend with.

- And I can't--
- Let me help.

No, it won't work.

I-- I'm the basket case
right now.

I don't trust any of my impulses

and I don't want to have to
pick up the pieces

while they turn out to be wrong.

Would you consider allowing

for the possibility
that your impulses

just might be right?

[chuckles in background]

No. [paper rustling]

[indistinct chatter
in background]

[footsteps]

[keys rattling]

Goodnight?

[keys rattling]

[crickets chirp]

[horn honks in distance]

[paper rustling]

[smacking lips]

[paper rustling]

[keys rattling]

[thud]

Hey, still not ready to go home?

I'm not even close.

[sighs] So what are
we supposed to do?

Tonight's the night.

I can't help it, I have
to prepare for trial.

[deep breaths]
It's like I've been hearing

about that
trial for a month now.

What do you want to do?

You want to forget
about it or what?

[deep breaths]

Now's the time.

Let's do it now. [chair slides]

Markowitz: What, here?
- Why not?

Because this is a law
office, that's why not.

You know what, Stuart?
I don't really care.

Do you think I've been
hunched over my test pads

and medicine droppers trying
to calculate the right time,

only to have you tell me
you don't like the atmosphere?

Yeah, well, pardon me for
being a prude, but I generally

like to confine this activity
to the privacy of a bedroom.

Well, we don't have that luxury.

Let's go, [claps]
take off your pants.

[sighs] Fine.

[rustling]

[zipper screeches]

[dog barks]

[crickets chirping]

[knocks on door]

[clinks on door]

Hi.

What do you want?

Just to talk to
you for a minute.

Look...

I've got some
things to be sorry about.

Not the least of which was that
whole business about the grave.

I know it's important to you.

Forget I ever mentioned it.

Arnie will draw up the papers

and send him over to Nussbaum,

just like we said.

- You mean it?
- Yeah.

It'll be good to get it
done with, Douglas.

Are the kids home?

They're having dinner
at the Nathanson's.

Ah!

[crickets chirping]

Do you want to come in?

I don't think so.

Boy... if this is what we wanted

how come we're both so glum?

We slept in the
same bed together

for nearly our
entire adult lives.

I know.

It's hard to imagine that
it's all come to an end.

It hasn't, really.

No?

We have kids.

That'll give us something
to fight about for years.

You're right.

It's not being dead together,
but it's something.

I guess so.

Are you sure you
don't wanna come in

and have a cup of coffee?

Thanks.

I should probably be going.

[crickets chirping]

Another time.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

[somber music]

[clinks on door]

[clinks on door]

[clinks on door]

You can't be telling me
you're actually going to do

more work between now
and tomorrow morning.

Hey, if I pick up the file now,
I go directly to court

in the morning which means
I have an extra half an hour

of sleep, which
means I'm more rested,

which means I do a better job.

Aha! The sleep litigation
efficiency theory.

- Better yet.
- Right.

[clink]

[paper rustling]

[Markowitz sneezing]

[paper rustling]

[door creaks]

[gasps]

Oh, I-- I didn't know
anyone was in here.

Yeah, well, there are
two people in here.

So why don't you close
the door, Jonathan?

Absolutely.

- You happy now?
- What's that supposed to mean?

Well, don't forget,
this was all your idea.

[chuckles] Alright!

You had nothing to do with it.

Vic, come here.

- What?
- Just come here.

[giggling]

[paper rustling]

[knock on door]

Ann? Stuart?

Yes, Victor, it's
Ann and Stuart.

And right now we're
not receiving visitors.

[sighs] No problem.

[giggling]

[thud]

At least we could get dressed.

I can't get dressed,
I have to leave my legs up.

How many times I have to
tell you that? [clinks on door]

By the way, Stuart,
you're in great shape on

the stock purchase,
the plaintiffs inherited

their shares and the
basis that they took shows

a valuation date after
the alleged ultra vires act.

Get out of here, Jonathan.

What's the matter with
that guy? [clinks on door]

You know, you guys never even
asked us if we enjoyed the game.

Ah! [thud]

[Sifuentes and Jonathan chuckle]

Look ah...

I think maybe there's
another way to go about this.

Tell me how.

Once we have the baby, does it
really matter where we got it?

Adoption.

Yeah.

[deep breaths]

I think we ought
to give it a shot.

It's not just because
it's too much trouble

for our busy, busy lives, is it?

No, Ann.

It's because I love you too
much to feel this desperate.

Markowitz: And it's because...

I don't ever think you're
going to get pregnant with me.

[somber music]

Come here.

[rustling]

I love you, Stuart.

I love you so much.

[theme music]

[music continues]