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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,683 (music) 2 00:00:27,308 --> 00:00:29,390 (theme music) 3 00:00:55,576 --> 00:00:58,099 (thunder, rain falling) 4 00:01:13,594 --> 00:01:15,836 We therefore commit his body to the ground. 5 00:01:15,836 --> 00:01:19,079 Earth to earth, ashes to ashes. 6 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,041 Dust to dust. 7 00:01:21,041 --> 00:01:25,726 In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life 8 00:01:25,726 --> 00:01:27,928 through our Lord, Jesus Christ. 9 00:01:27,928 --> 00:01:29,130 Amen. 10 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,331 All: Amen. 11 00:01:30,331 --> 00:01:32,213 (dirt clumps fall on grave) 12 00:01:43,023 --> 00:01:44,825 (rain falling) 13 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,795 Who is that man? 14 00:01:54,795 --> 00:01:55,876 I never saw him before. 15 00:01:56,997 --> 00:01:58,439 Do you know him? 16 00:01:58,439 --> 00:01:59,320 No. Must be local. 17 00:02:00,601 --> 00:02:02,923 (thunder) 18 00:02:21,582 --> 00:02:23,103 (thunder) 19 00:02:47,688 --> 00:02:49,330 Quite satisfied, Mr. Benson? 20 00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:51,051 Absolutely. 21 00:02:51,051 --> 00:02:52,733 You handled everything splendidly, splendid. 22 00:02:52,733 --> 00:02:54,255 Words can't express... 23 00:02:54,255 --> 00:02:55,496 You know, we don't take testimonials. 24 00:02:55,496 --> 00:02:56,897 I'm delighted. 25 00:02:56,897 --> 00:02:58,659 It all went like clockwork. 26 00:02:58,659 --> 00:02:59,860 Then this is farewell. 27 00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:01,702 Thank you once more. 28 00:03:01,702 --> 00:03:03,183 Thank you, doctor. 29 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,025 Thank you, Mr. Benson. 30 00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:12,072 Uh, one last word. 31 00:03:12,072 --> 00:03:14,395 I know. Utter secrecy. 32 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:16,877 - You needn't worry. - I'm glad. 33 00:03:16,877 --> 00:03:19,079 You see, the contracts won't be destroyed for three months. 34 00:03:19,079 --> 00:03:20,361 Gives us a measure of cover. 35 00:03:21,722 --> 00:03:23,043 Goodbye. 36 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,131 Another sucker loose on the world. 37 00:03:31,131 --> 00:03:32,973 He won't be able to spend the money fast enough. 38 00:03:32,973 --> 00:03:34,575 He must watch his blood pressure. 39 00:03:34,575 --> 00:03:36,096 It's high for a young man. 40 00:03:36,096 --> 00:03:37,538 You want a drink? 41 00:03:37,538 --> 00:03:38,499 Hmm, why not? 42 00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:43,023 Well, it's on the National Health. 43 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,145 Four-star Napoleon. 44 00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,431 Well, here's to instant death. 45 00:03:53,714 --> 00:03:55,155 What's the matter? 46 00:03:55,155 --> 00:03:57,438 The Hippocratic Oath. The life so short. 47 00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,280 The craft, so long to learn. 48 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,481 Well, let's drink to the short life. 49 00:04:06,687 --> 00:04:09,410 Oh, I see you took my advice. 50 00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:11,171 They do a good smoke, these people. 51 00:04:11,171 --> 00:04:13,334 Should do at 12 and 6 a throw. 52 00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:14,895 Roy? 53 00:04:14,895 --> 00:04:16,136 Yeah? 54 00:04:16,136 --> 00:04:17,458 I've been thinking. 55 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:20,260 We've completed nine cases. 56 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,502 We've done very well for ourselves. 57 00:04:21,502 --> 00:04:23,223 Very well indeed. 58 00:04:23,223 --> 00:04:24,345 I think we should call it a day. 59 00:04:25,506 --> 00:04:27,067 You do? 60 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,789 Yes. Retire, get out while we can. 61 00:04:28,789 --> 00:04:30,431 The more you have, the more you want. 62 00:04:30,431 --> 00:04:31,912 What you mean, doctor, 63 00:04:31,912 --> 00:04:34,114 is that the Rolls on the meter outside is paid for. 64 00:04:34,114 --> 00:04:35,516 There's a hefty balance in the bank, 65 00:04:35,516 --> 00:04:37,398 and you'd rather be in Scotland salmon fishing. 66 00:04:37,398 --> 00:04:38,479 - Yeah, something like that. - That's a lot like it. 67 00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:40,321 When I came to you with my scheme, 68 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,282 the shingle outside your door was a lot tackier 69 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,083 than it is today. 70 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:43,884 Well, that was only a temporary... 71 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:46,086 Oh, come on, doctor, don't let's fool ourselves! 72 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,368 Another year and you'd have been finished in London. 73 00:04:47,368 --> 00:04:48,849 Never! 74 00:04:48,849 --> 00:04:51,211 I spent three months looking for the right man. 75 00:04:51,211 --> 00:04:53,534 A doctor whose plight was greater than his professional honor. 76 00:04:53,534 --> 00:04:55,175 I found you. 77 00:04:55,175 --> 00:04:57,538 Yes, but it's almost impossible to keep up to date. 78 00:04:57,538 --> 00:04:59,460 I mean to say, I've tried. 79 00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:01,982 I've read articles. 80 00:05:01,982 --> 00:05:03,344 It's not the same. 81 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,825 As you say, we've done quite nicely. 82 00:05:04,825 --> 00:05:06,627 Well, doctor, I'm not ready to quit. 83 00:05:06,627 --> 00:05:09,510 Perhaps my ambitions have more appetite than yours. 84 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,511 Look, we've made enough to live in luxury 85 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:11,952 for the rest of our lives. 86 00:05:11,952 --> 00:05:14,114 Still, another 20,000 a year 87 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,916 shouldn't be so unacceptable. 88 00:05:18,559 --> 00:05:19,560 Is there another client? 89 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,321 There is. 90 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,246 Male or female? 91 00:05:26,246 --> 00:05:30,290 An aspiring widow, age 43, but looks a lot younger. 92 00:05:33,414 --> 00:05:34,815 Well, what's the matter now? 93 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:37,978 Carrara marble. 94 00:05:37,978 --> 00:05:40,541 It was presented to me by the hospital in Glasgow 95 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:41,902 for services to medicine. 96 00:05:45,666 --> 00:05:47,227 Name, Turner. 97 00:05:47,227 --> 00:05:48,709 Husband's age, 48. 98 00:05:48,709 --> 00:05:50,030 Names, Arthur George William... 99 00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:51,472 Just a minute. Do you mind? 100 00:05:51,472 --> 00:05:52,953 Not quite as fast as that. 101 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:56,036 Name, Turner. Husband's age, 48. 102 00:05:56,036 --> 00:05:58,719 Names, Arthur George William. 103 00:05:58,719 --> 00:06:00,441 Address, The Grove, Hemel Hempstead... 104 00:06:01,802 --> 00:06:06,487 (water lapping) 105 00:06:06,487 --> 00:06:08,449 (fog horn) 106 00:06:14,214 --> 00:06:15,816 Steed: Anybody home? 107 00:06:15,816 --> 00:06:18,539 Oh, go away. 108 00:06:18,539 --> 00:06:19,580 Fire. 109 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,061 What? Where? 110 00:06:22,623 --> 00:06:24,465 What do you want? 111 00:06:24,465 --> 00:06:25,746 A chat. 112 00:06:25,746 --> 00:06:27,387 Oh, we're having a party? 113 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,270 An evening with the YWCA. 114 00:06:30,270 --> 00:06:31,151 Ah. 115 00:06:31,151 --> 00:06:32,513 Ooh. 116 00:06:32,513 --> 00:06:34,675 Sit down if you can. 117 00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:43,083 And what can I do for you? 118 00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:44,404 I came to talk to you about your father. 119 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,366 Too late, my friend. He's dead. 120 00:06:46,366 --> 00:06:47,367 That's just what I want to talk about. 121 00:06:49,129 --> 00:06:50,651 Who are you? 122 00:06:50,651 --> 00:06:52,773 A friend of the family. 123 00:06:52,773 --> 00:06:54,495 I remember seeing you at the funeral. 124 00:06:54,495 --> 00:06:55,736 Wasn't it cold? 125 00:06:55,736 --> 00:06:57,578 You don't have a match, do you? 126 00:06:57,578 --> 00:06:58,459 Sorry. 127 00:07:00,741 --> 00:07:01,822 Keep talking. I'm with you. 128 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:02,823 What'd he die of? 129 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,545 Heart, coronary. 130 00:07:04,545 --> 00:07:05,586 How'd he come to be buried in Cornwall? 131 00:07:05,586 --> 00:07:07,427 My mother was Cornish. 132 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,589 Sounds schmaltzy, I know. 133 00:07:08,589 --> 00:07:09,670 But it was there in the will. 134 00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:11,472 There's sentiment in all of us, you see. 135 00:07:15,596 --> 00:07:17,277 Ah, that's better. 136 00:07:17,277 --> 00:07:18,839 The world's too harsh 137 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,000 unless you see it through tobacco smoke. 138 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,001 Had he been ill for long? 139 00:07:21,001 --> 00:07:22,963 Oh, off and on, ever since he retired. 140 00:07:22,963 --> 00:07:25,686 He used to be in, what you call it? 141 00:07:25,686 --> 00:07:27,087 Security executive. 142 00:07:27,087 --> 00:07:28,649 I can see you don't believe in a long mourning. 143 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,492 No, I don't. 144 00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:32,813 It's a nice game. 145 00:07:32,813 --> 00:07:34,134 When do I get a turn with... 146 00:07:34,134 --> 00:07:35,215 Help yourself, help yourself. 147 00:07:35,215 --> 00:07:36,657 Who are you? What are you doing here? 148 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,018 What's the point of it? 149 00:07:38,018 --> 00:07:39,660 My name is Steed. I came to see you. 150 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,821 And I'm interested in your father's death. 151 00:07:40,821 --> 00:07:42,462 Professionally or personally? 152 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,984 - That depends. - What on? 153 00:07:43,984 --> 00:07:45,826 On your answers. 154 00:07:50,791 --> 00:07:51,952 What's your interest? 155 00:07:51,952 --> 00:07:52,993 I used to work with him. 156 00:07:52,993 --> 00:07:53,994 So? 157 00:07:53,994 --> 00:07:55,475 Well, we were in a few scrapes together. 158 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,357 Berlin, one or two other places. 159 00:07:57,357 --> 00:07:59,279 Ah, it's going to be another war story. 160 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,641 No, it isn't, no. 161 00:08:00,641 --> 00:08:03,644 How much? How much do you want? 162 00:08:03,644 --> 00:08:04,885 (fog horn) 163 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,847 Not to worry. It's one of ours. 164 00:08:06,847 --> 00:08:08,128 What is it? 165 00:08:08,128 --> 00:08:09,489 The Old Comrades Fund? 166 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,731 Bed socks for the veterans? 167 00:08:10,731 --> 00:08:11,772 Your father gave me a letter. 168 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,054 What did it say? 169 00:08:14,054 --> 00:08:15,656 - I haven't opened it yet. - Why not? 170 00:08:15,656 --> 00:08:16,737 It was only to be opened 171 00:08:16,737 --> 00:08:18,338 unless he died a violent or a sudden death. 172 00:08:18,338 --> 00:08:20,100 Why'd he give it to you? 173 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,341 I told you. 174 00:08:21,341 --> 00:08:23,343 We were in a few scrapes together. 175 00:08:23,343 --> 00:08:26,106 This was no violent death. He was in his own bed. 176 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,467 Then it was sudden. 177 00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:28,749 No. 178 00:08:28,749 --> 00:08:30,911 No, as a matter of fact, it was a marvel 179 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,232 the old boy lasted as long as he did. 180 00:08:32,232 --> 00:08:34,314 Well, everyone knew he was going home, everyone. 181 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,516 The doctor. He even knew himself. 182 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,999 He was punch-drunk with coronaries. 183 00:08:38,999 --> 00:08:40,601 He must have had a heart like a bull. 184 00:08:40,601 --> 00:08:42,122 He was strong. 185 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,483 Well, you know that. 186 00:08:43,483 --> 00:08:44,685 Took a lot to kill him. 187 00:08:44,685 --> 00:08:45,926 That old man was tough. 188 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,208 He was only 64. 189 00:08:48,208 --> 00:08:50,130 I served with him and I'm not Methuselah. 190 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,531 Well, it wasn't sudden. 191 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,173 You should have seen the doctor's bills. 192 00:08:53,173 --> 00:08:54,775 Put 'em end to end. 193 00:08:54,775 --> 00:08:56,496 The maze we went through. 194 00:08:56,496 --> 00:08:57,698 Platoons of them. 195 00:08:57,698 --> 00:08:58,619 Who nursed him? 196 00:08:58,619 --> 00:09:00,941 At the end? I did. 197 00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,023 That's why I had this blind. 198 00:09:03,023 --> 00:09:05,706 Hangs over you, doesn't it, death? 199 00:09:05,706 --> 00:09:06,907 The machinery of it. 200 00:09:06,907 --> 00:09:08,789 Throwing out the medicine bottles 201 00:09:08,789 --> 00:09:11,151 and the boxes of pills, pajamas. 202 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,713 Ah, sick. 203 00:09:15,676 --> 00:09:17,638 Oh, Mr. Steed? 204 00:09:17,638 --> 00:09:19,880 What about this letter? 205 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,361 What about it? 206 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,483 - What will you do? - I'll call the bank. 207 00:09:23,483 --> 00:09:24,925 Yes? 208 00:09:24,925 --> 00:09:26,566 And I'll tell them to destroy it. 209 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,128 After all, we don't want to upset you anymore, do we? 210 00:09:28,128 --> 00:09:30,290 No. No, I don't want to see it. 211 00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:32,172 Destroy it. That's good enough for me. 212 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,655 I think you can get something back from the empties. 213 00:09:34,655 --> 00:09:35,976 Thanks. 214 00:09:44,705 --> 00:09:46,266 Keep talking. I'm with you. 215 00:09:46,266 --> 00:09:47,828 What did he die of? 216 00:09:47,828 --> 00:09:49,950 Heart, coronary. 217 00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:51,792 And why was he buried in Cornwall? 218 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,354 My mother was Cornish. Sounds schmaltzy, I know. 219 00:09:54,354 --> 00:09:55,796 But it was there in the will. 220 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:57,918 There's sentiment in all of us, you see. 221 00:09:57,918 --> 00:10:00,120 Young Benson's father had no more affection 222 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,443 for his wife than I have for old Jolly Jet Jawsnapper there. 223 00:10:03,443 --> 00:10:04,805 How do you know? 224 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,927 He booked her everywhere in dicey airlines. 225 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,651 He used to permutate for the next air disaster. 226 00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:12,172 Happy family. 227 00:10:12,172 --> 00:10:17,017 If there was fog in the air, Mrs. Benson was in the air. 228 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,739 Then there's no truth in his story. 229 00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:20,500 Not that part of it. 230 00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,262 Well, there's no sentiment in security. 231 00:10:22,262 --> 00:10:23,664 That I know. 232 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:24,865 Where were you carrying this? 233 00:10:24,865 --> 00:10:26,546 In my pocket. 234 00:10:26,546 --> 00:10:28,508 I had a microphone lead led up to my scarf. 235 00:10:28,508 --> 00:10:30,831 Well, your old boss has come to a sudden end. 236 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,072 I don't see there's anything you can do about it. 237 00:10:32,072 --> 00:10:33,433 Don't be too sure of it. 238 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,515 Young Benson looked pretty sick when I left him. 239 00:10:35,515 --> 00:10:37,878 Well, thank you for the cream. 240 00:10:37,878 --> 00:10:40,921 Huh, I take it with Swiss cherry jam, 241 00:10:40,921 --> 00:10:43,844 thin brown bread and Indian tea. 242 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,565 And at about a quarter past four. 243 00:10:45,565 --> 00:10:47,247 Do you? 244 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,528 I like it for breakfast. 245 00:10:53,493 --> 00:10:54,654 Read that. 246 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,302 "Joey, a King Penguin at Edinburgh Zoo 247 00:11:02,302 --> 00:11:04,224 spent 56 days trying to incubate..." 248 00:11:04,224 --> 00:11:05,225 (chuckles) 249 00:11:05,225 --> 00:11:06,707 The other side. 250 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,948 Oh, really? 251 00:11:07,948 --> 00:11:09,790 "Notice of a funeral service at Tenby." 252 00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:10,590 That's the place you went to? 253 00:11:10,590 --> 00:11:12,272 Uh-huh. 254 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,634 "2 p.m. funeral service. Church of St. Alban's Tenby. 255 00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:16,436 No flowers." 256 00:11:16,436 --> 00:11:19,840 And the same again, and the same again. 257 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,001 All within the past three months. 258 00:11:21,001 --> 00:11:23,203 Well, people do die. 259 00:11:23,203 --> 00:11:25,085 But Tenby is a ghost village. 260 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,046 You mean, nobody lives there? 261 00:11:26,046 --> 00:11:29,449 It used to support a tin mine. 262 00:11:29,449 --> 00:11:32,292 The tin mine went out of action eight years ago, 263 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,014 and all the villagers have moved to Bodmin. 264 00:11:34,014 --> 00:11:36,136 Must have a strong attraction for corpses. 265 00:11:36,136 --> 00:11:38,178 So strong that people die in London 266 00:11:38,178 --> 00:11:40,580 and are transported up to Cornwall. 267 00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:41,581 Why? 268 00:11:43,183 --> 00:11:44,745 He quizzed me up one side and down the other! 269 00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,026 Well, don't worry. 270 00:11:46,026 --> 00:11:47,227 It's easy for you to say that. 271 00:11:47,227 --> 00:11:48,228 It wasn't you he was talking to. 272 00:11:48,228 --> 00:11:49,229 He's probably nosy. 273 00:11:49,229 --> 00:11:50,230 That's one version. 274 00:11:50,230 --> 00:11:51,511 What if he were on business? 275 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:52,512 Whose business? 276 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,513 Anyway, it doesn't matter. 277 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:54,514 You've got nothing to bother about. 278 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,876 And if they exhume the body? 279 00:11:55,876 --> 00:11:56,877 - They won't. - If they do? 280 00:11:56,877 --> 00:11:58,278 They'll find nothing. 281 00:11:58,278 --> 00:11:59,159 But I read in the papers somewhere that... 282 00:11:59,159 --> 00:12:00,400 It doesn't matter what you read. 283 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,561 They'll find nothing. 284 00:12:01,561 --> 00:12:03,003 Now forget all about it and go home. 285 00:12:03,003 --> 00:12:04,164 No, don't give me the brush-off. 286 00:12:04,164 --> 00:12:05,485 This cost me a packet of money. 287 00:12:05,485 --> 00:12:06,566 You got what you wanted, didn't you? 288 00:12:06,566 --> 00:12:07,888 Now go on. Off you go. 289 00:12:07,888 --> 00:12:09,289 I don't want the law breathing down my neck. 290 00:12:09,289 --> 00:12:10,771 No sense in being the richest man in prison. 291 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:11,972 You won't be. 292 00:12:11,972 --> 00:12:13,173 We're specialists in this field. 293 00:12:13,173 --> 00:12:15,695 Remember one thing, doctor. 294 00:12:15,695 --> 00:12:17,697 The Medical Council wouldn't approve. 295 00:12:17,697 --> 00:12:20,740 Yes, we're well aware of reminding ourselves of the obvious. 296 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,103 Don't forget, we have a contract signed by you. 297 00:12:23,103 --> 00:12:24,424 I wouldn't do anything rash. 298 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,525 (birds chirping) 299 00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:14,074 Morning! 300 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:16,796 Mrs. Gale: Morning. 301 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,558 A tourist in Tenby this time of year? 302 00:13:18,558 --> 00:13:19,920 Surely not. 303 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,001 No, it's a job of work. 304 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,044 Vicar? 305 00:13:24,044 --> 00:13:25,685 Whyper, Adrian Whyper. 306 00:13:25,685 --> 00:13:26,766 - How do you do? - How do you do? 307 00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:28,088 Job of work? 308 00:13:28,088 --> 00:13:30,050 Yes, I'm writing an article for an American magazine 309 00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:31,131 on the English country churchyards. 310 00:13:31,131 --> 00:13:32,212 You don't mind, do you? 311 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:33,974 My dear lady, of course not. 312 00:13:33,974 --> 00:13:35,655 But it's my brother Julian you should see. 313 00:13:35,655 --> 00:13:37,137 He wrote a paper on it. 314 00:13:37,137 --> 00:13:38,979 What you call it? A thesis. 315 00:13:38,979 --> 00:13:42,622 When we were up Oxford, I rode behind him in the Varsity Eight. 316 00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:43,904 Fine oarsman, Julian. 317 00:13:43,904 --> 00:13:45,025 Where do I find him? 318 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,306 Ah, where indeed? 319 00:13:46,306 --> 00:13:48,548 He's somewhere up the Congo, missionary. 320 00:13:48,548 --> 00:13:50,390 Stranger in a strange land. 321 00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:51,791 Yes, I know the feeling. 322 00:13:51,791 --> 00:13:53,273 You don't know Cornwall? 323 00:13:53,273 --> 00:13:54,514 Not well, no. 324 00:13:54,514 --> 00:13:55,515 Where are you staying? 325 00:13:55,515 --> 00:13:56,516 At the White Bear. 326 00:13:56,516 --> 00:13:58,598 Oh, good choice, capital. 327 00:13:58,598 --> 00:14:00,400 Have you been up to the Minstrel's Gallery? 328 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,601 Not yet. 329 00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:03,803 Oh, you must. And you must try their ale. 330 00:14:03,803 --> 00:14:05,485 Brewed on the premises. 331 00:14:05,485 --> 00:14:07,247 "Wine is a mocker." 332 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,969 "Moderation in all things." 333 00:14:08,969 --> 00:14:11,932 "Total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation." 334 00:14:11,932 --> 00:14:13,894 Oh, I don't know that one. 335 00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:15,495 No, you've got me there. 336 00:14:15,495 --> 00:14:16,816 St. Augustine. 337 00:14:16,816 --> 00:14:18,058 Oh, yes, of course. 338 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,940 Multi quidem facilius et cetera. 339 00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,621 I shouldn't worry with these new stones. 340 00:14:21,621 --> 00:14:23,543 It's the old ones that have all the character. 341 00:14:23,543 --> 00:14:25,265 These are only peace, perfect peace, 342 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:26,546 lay the dead to rest. 343 00:14:26,546 --> 00:14:28,949 Very unimaginative. 344 00:14:28,949 --> 00:14:31,231 There used to be one in Penryn. 345 00:14:31,231 --> 00:14:32,953 Now how did it go? 346 00:14:32,953 --> 00:14:35,155 "Here lies returned to play. 347 00:14:35,155 --> 00:14:36,836 "Miss Arrabella Young 348 00:14:36,836 --> 00:14:40,000 who upon the first of May began to hold her tongue." 349 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,401 (both laugh) 350 00:14:41,401 --> 00:14:42,562 Great sense of humor, your Cornishmen. 351 00:14:42,562 --> 00:14:43,803 Yes. 352 00:14:43,803 --> 00:14:47,167 Is there anything particular and personal 353 00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:48,488 to your own graveyard? 354 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:49,769 Oh, yes, there's something you can mention. 355 00:14:49,769 --> 00:14:50,971 Just here by the lichgate, 356 00:14:50,971 --> 00:14:52,652 there used to be a mandrake root. 357 00:14:52,652 --> 00:14:54,935 Mandrake? The mandrago drug? 358 00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:56,696 Yes, that's right. Mysterious plants. 359 00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:57,978 No end of properties. 360 00:14:57,978 --> 00:15:00,620 It was supposed to shriek if you touched it, 361 00:15:00,620 --> 00:15:03,663 and pull it up and it groaned like a dying man. 362 00:15:03,663 --> 00:15:04,744 Should be good for a paragraph. 363 00:15:04,744 --> 00:15:06,186 (chuckles) 364 00:15:06,186 --> 00:15:07,747 Yes, we've got an awful lot of deadly nightshade. 365 00:15:07,747 --> 00:15:09,909 Must be something to do with the soil. 366 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,911 Have you been as far as the lizard? 367 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,193 Not yet. 368 00:15:13,193 --> 00:15:14,474 Nice little story for you. 369 00:15:14,474 --> 00:15:16,916 When they built the first lighthouse in 1619, 370 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,478 all the locals were up in arms. 371 00:15:18,478 --> 00:15:20,440 Said they'd lost God's grace. 372 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,681 What did they mean by that? 373 00:15:21,681 --> 00:15:23,363 Their pickings from the ships 374 00:15:23,363 --> 00:15:24,804 that would have been wrecked on the cliffs. 375 00:15:24,804 --> 00:15:26,646 (laughs) God's grace indeed. 376 00:15:26,646 --> 00:15:28,328 - That's grim. - Very. 377 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,609 Come let me show you the church. 378 00:15:29,609 --> 00:15:31,371 I haven't done me grand tour for years. 379 00:15:31,371 --> 00:15:33,133 Yes, I'd love to see it. 380 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,255 Perhaps I might even be able to sell you an illustrated history. 381 00:15:35,255 --> 00:15:37,497 Proceeds to Congo Relief. 382 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:48,468 Yes, there's been a Whyper here ever since Queen Anne. 383 00:15:48,468 --> 00:15:52,112 I lost two brothers in the Great War. 384 00:15:52,112 --> 00:15:54,234 Lost a lot of fine men. 385 00:15:54,234 --> 00:15:55,996 - Senseless carnage. - Mm. 386 00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:57,917 Freddy was chaplain of Passiondale. 387 00:15:57,917 --> 00:15:59,039 He knew Woodbine Willie. 388 00:15:59,039 --> 00:16:00,480 Did he? 389 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,802 Allen died with the Canadians at Vimy Ridge. 390 00:16:02,802 --> 00:16:04,124 Vicar? 391 00:16:04,124 --> 00:16:05,125 Yes, my dear. 392 00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:06,446 Who's buried here now? 393 00:16:06,446 --> 00:16:07,607 I mean, now that the village is gone? 394 00:16:07,607 --> 00:16:09,049 Oh, not many, you know. 395 00:16:09,049 --> 00:16:10,650 Just a few who were born in Tenby. 396 00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:13,813 They like to be brought back. 397 00:16:13,813 --> 00:16:15,935 Really, then it's only locals? 398 00:16:15,935 --> 00:16:17,577 Oh, no. 399 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,419 We do get the odd soul from places like London. 400 00:16:19,419 --> 00:16:20,980 Seems a long way to come. 401 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,182 It's a long journey. 402 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,423 Quite. 403 00:16:23,423 --> 00:16:24,624 But it must be very expensive. 404 00:16:24,624 --> 00:16:26,106 Oh, I don't know. 405 00:16:26,106 --> 00:16:27,747 It's probably cheaper to be buried in the country. 406 00:16:27,747 --> 00:16:30,550 I haven't been into the economics of it. 407 00:16:30,550 --> 00:16:32,712 I look at it like this. 408 00:16:32,712 --> 00:16:34,794 If you've lived in the city all your life, 409 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,396 all that noise and bustle, 410 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,358 you've earned a little peace, perfect peace. 411 00:16:38,358 --> 00:16:39,319 Yes, I suppose you're right. 412 00:16:39,319 --> 00:16:40,400 Man: Look in here... 413 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,881 Hello? Who's this? 414 00:16:41,881 --> 00:16:43,563 I say, we're getting quite congested. 415 00:16:44,884 --> 00:16:48,808 Why, Hopkins, my dear fellow. How nice to see you. 416 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:49,809 How are you? 417 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:50,810 Fine, fine, Vicar. 418 00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:52,011 I'd like you to meet Mrs. Turner. 419 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,493 - How do you do? - How do you do? 420 00:16:53,493 --> 00:16:56,696 This is... oh, my dear. I'm so sorry. 421 00:16:56,696 --> 00:16:57,697 I don't know your name. 422 00:16:57,697 --> 00:16:59,099 - Mrs. Gale. - Mrs. Gale. 423 00:16:59,099 --> 00:17:00,940 - Mrs. Gale, Mrs... - Turner. 424 00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:03,063 - Turner, Mr. Hopkins. - How do you do? 425 00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,944 Will you excuse me, Vicar? 426 00:17:04,944 --> 00:17:06,506 I've got work to do and the sun's very precious. 427 00:17:06,506 --> 00:17:08,748 - Why, yes, of course. - Excuse me. 428 00:17:08,748 --> 00:17:10,430 Bit of a writer. 429 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,712 St. Augustine, I won't forget. 430 00:17:12,712 --> 00:17:13,713 Oh, right. 431 00:17:13,713 --> 00:17:15,395 Nice girl. 432 00:17:15,395 --> 00:17:17,437 Vicar, I want you to see if there's anything 433 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,678 you can do for Mrs. Turner. 434 00:17:18,678 --> 00:17:20,320 Well, I'd be delighted. 435 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,842 Mrs. Turner is arriving at the end of a long and comfortless journey. 436 00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:24,084 Oh? 437 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,406 It's my husband, Vicar. He's dying. 438 00:17:26,406 --> 00:17:27,567 Oh, I'm so sorry. 439 00:17:27,567 --> 00:17:28,768 It could literally happen any minute. 440 00:17:28,768 --> 00:17:29,929 This is the first time Mrs. Turner 441 00:17:29,929 --> 00:17:31,171 has left his side for weeks. 442 00:17:31,171 --> 00:17:33,893 Ah, "a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband." 443 00:17:33,893 --> 00:17:36,176 Her price is far above rubies." 444 00:17:36,176 --> 00:17:39,259 When it happens, when, she'd like him to be interred at Tenby. 445 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,460 Yes, of course. 446 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,262 He is a man of the country? 447 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,104 - No, not... - In spirit. 448 00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:46,506 Yes, in spirit. 449 00:17:46,506 --> 00:17:47,907 Oh. Well, excuse me a moment. 450 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,871 Fond of his garden, wasn't he? 451 00:17:53,953 --> 00:17:56,075 Of course, you can't say exactly when it will be? 452 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,036 - No. - I'd say Saturday. 453 00:17:57,036 --> 00:17:58,278 Saturday? 454 00:17:58,278 --> 00:17:59,959 Then or thereabouts. 455 00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:01,241 Oh, dear. 456 00:18:01,241 --> 00:18:02,562 Well, we'll step outside in a moment. 457 00:18:02,562 --> 00:18:05,245 I do have one very beautiful plot just by the west wall. 458 00:18:05,245 --> 00:18:06,406 Very sheltered. 459 00:18:06,406 --> 00:18:08,007 Gets the noon sun in winter. 460 00:18:08,007 --> 00:18:09,969 The first crocuses come up there. 461 00:18:09,969 --> 00:18:12,932 I had thought of it for Julian, my brother. 462 00:18:12,932 --> 00:18:15,335 Oh, it sounds perfect. 463 00:18:15,335 --> 00:18:17,897 Well, I'll just take some particulars. 464 00:18:30,630 --> 00:18:32,111 Good day. 465 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,273 Bit late to take them pictures, isn't? 466 00:18:33,273 --> 00:18:35,034 Depends what for. 467 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:49,769 What was she doing? 468 00:18:49,769 --> 00:18:51,891 Taking photos of them headstones. 469 00:18:51,891 --> 00:18:53,253 Can't be bad, can it? 470 00:18:53,253 --> 00:18:54,654 Could be. 471 00:18:54,654 --> 00:18:56,456 Well, shine your spade up. We're in business. 472 00:18:56,456 --> 00:18:57,497 How soon? 473 00:18:57,497 --> 00:18:58,978 The Vicar will tell you about it. 474 00:18:58,978 --> 00:19:01,621 You've got the number. Ring me if anything happens. 475 00:19:01,621 --> 00:19:03,583 Trust me, Gov. 476 00:19:03,583 --> 00:19:07,827 Ta. Could bring me some jellied eels or something, saveloys. 477 00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:09,549 It's this local grub, it's killing me. 478 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,791 If she comes snooping around again, 479 00:19:11,791 --> 00:19:14,113 we might have to take steps. 480 00:19:14,113 --> 00:19:15,515 Make it a double booking. 481 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,562 Now, Mrs. Turner, we'd like to recap 482 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,764 on a few of the more personal questions. 483 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,567 Any idea as to the present size of your husband's estate? 484 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:30,089 About 200,000. 485 00:19:30,089 --> 00:19:32,011 Net? 486 00:19:32,011 --> 00:19:33,293 Mm-hmm. 487 00:19:33,293 --> 00:19:34,734 Any other living relatives besides yourself? 488 00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:36,776 I've checked. One sister. 489 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,658 - Sister? - She lives in Perth. 490 00:19:38,658 --> 00:19:39,859 Perth in Scotland? 491 00:19:39,859 --> 00:19:41,781 - Perth, Western Australia. - Oh. 492 00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:44,544 And she's bedridden, arthritis. 493 00:19:44,544 --> 00:19:46,466 Nasty complaint, there. None of the drugs... 494 00:19:46,466 --> 00:19:47,507 What about close friends? 495 00:19:47,507 --> 00:19:48,788 We don't have any. 496 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,990 - Think carefully now. - I don't need to. 497 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,112 My husband didn't make friends or influence people. 498 00:19:53,112 --> 00:19:54,113 He just made money. 499 00:19:54,113 --> 00:19:56,356 Any other beneficiaries in the will? 500 00:19:56,356 --> 00:19:57,757 No. 501 00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,560 Insurance? 502 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,922 He always said his business was his insurance. 503 00:20:02,922 --> 00:20:05,685 Now most important of all, when did he last see a doctor? 504 00:20:05,685 --> 00:20:08,448 About 1950. 505 00:20:08,448 --> 00:20:09,529 He had his appendix out. 506 00:20:09,529 --> 00:20:10,850 You sure he hasn't seen one since? 507 00:20:10,850 --> 00:20:13,653 He's an apple a day man, a throwback to Adam 508 00:20:13,653 --> 00:20:16,416 without any of Adam's more interesting characteristics. 509 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,977 He's not on any doctor's panel? 510 00:20:17,977 --> 00:20:21,020 No, the appendix business was before we moved. 511 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:21,861 He's a member of a club? 512 00:20:21,861 --> 00:20:23,142 No. 513 00:20:23,142 --> 00:20:24,183 You understand, we have to be very careful. 514 00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:25,425 Of course. 515 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,067 - Doctor? - I'm happy if you are. 516 00:20:28,067 --> 00:20:29,389 Well, I think we can help you, Mrs. Turner, 517 00:20:29,389 --> 00:20:30,390 if you still want to go ahead. 518 00:20:30,390 --> 00:20:31,911 Thank you. 519 00:20:31,911 --> 00:20:35,435 You realize, of course, you'll have to do exactly as we say. 520 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,316 Your neck may depend upon it. 521 00:20:36,316 --> 00:20:37,797 I know. 522 00:20:37,797 --> 00:20:40,199 Be a shame for those pearls to lose such a nice home. 523 00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:41,240 (chuckles) Wouldn't it? 524 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,042 Our first sordid detail: money. 525 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,203 - We'd like a check. - Now? 526 00:20:44,203 --> 00:20:45,925 Would you like to sit here, Mrs. Turner? 527 00:20:47,567 --> 00:20:48,648 There you are. 528 00:20:54,974 --> 00:20:56,536 Who do I make it out to? 529 00:20:56,536 --> 00:20:59,098 Mandrake Investments, 5,000 pounds. 530 00:20:59,098 --> 00:21:00,900 The other half is due after the ceremony. 531 00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:02,702 You don't stint yourselves. 532 00:21:02,702 --> 00:21:04,384 It's a very exclusive service. 533 00:21:04,384 --> 00:21:06,225 Did Whyper find a suitable plot? 534 00:21:06,225 --> 00:21:07,667 Most accommodating, that man. 535 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,510 Sheltered position, gets the noon sun. 536 00:21:10,510 --> 00:21:11,471 He was saving it for his brother Julian. 537 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:12,952 That's awfully good of him. 538 00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:15,755 Thank you. 539 00:21:20,039 --> 00:21:22,241 Now what happens? 540 00:21:22,241 --> 00:21:23,603 No color, no taste, no smell. 541 00:21:23,603 --> 00:21:24,964 Three in one. 542 00:21:24,964 --> 00:21:27,527 The instructions are on the bottle, which we want back. 543 00:21:27,527 --> 00:21:28,528 Safety precaution. 544 00:21:28,528 --> 00:21:30,129 How long does it take? 545 00:21:31,531 --> 00:21:33,212 30 minutes to an hour. 546 00:21:33,212 --> 00:21:34,654 Seldom more than 30 minutes. 547 00:21:34,654 --> 00:21:36,336 How much do I use? 548 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:38,257 All of it. It's a fatal dose. 549 00:21:38,257 --> 00:21:39,058 And what are the... 550 00:21:39,058 --> 00:21:40,259 Symptoms? 551 00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:43,863 Intense thirst, stomach cramp, vomiting. 552 00:21:43,863 --> 00:21:45,264 But it'll all be over very quickly. 553 00:21:45,264 --> 00:21:48,548 Feeble, irregular pulse, cold, clamminess... 554 00:21:48,548 --> 00:21:49,909 Doctor, this is not a medical lecture. 555 00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:51,591 And when it starts, I call for you? 556 00:21:51,591 --> 00:21:52,592 Correct. 557 00:21:52,592 --> 00:21:53,913 I shall do everything that I can. 558 00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,795 But, alas, you'll be too late. 559 00:21:55,795 --> 00:21:58,237 From then on, everything goes like clockwork. 560 00:21:58,237 --> 00:21:59,559 Very well then. 561 00:22:01,601 --> 00:22:02,602 Goodbye, Mr. Hopkins. 562 00:22:02,602 --> 00:22:03,723 Goodbye, Mrs. Turner. 563 00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:05,405 - Thank you, doctor. - Not at all. 564 00:22:09,008 --> 00:22:11,411 Uh, going shopping today? 565 00:22:11,411 --> 00:22:13,413 Yes, I thought I might. 566 00:22:13,413 --> 00:22:15,855 Buy black. It'll suit you. 567 00:22:15,855 --> 00:22:17,176 I'll think about it. 568 00:22:32,472 --> 00:22:35,154 Well, perhaps this may be the last one after all. 569 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:36,436 I wouldn't bank on it. 570 00:22:36,436 --> 00:22:38,398 She'll see through you soon enough. 571 00:22:41,481 --> 00:22:43,483 Now you stick to medicine, doctor. 572 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:49,729 Steed: Well, we know that one. 573 00:22:49,729 --> 00:22:52,011 (snaps fingers) 574 00:22:52,011 --> 00:22:54,013 Pretty good for a still life. 575 00:22:54,013 --> 00:22:57,376 Yes, I took it at a 250 up at 5.6. 576 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,337 Fare thee well. Each to his own exposure. 577 00:22:58,337 --> 00:22:59,419 (snaps fingers) 578 00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:00,420 Don't do that. 579 00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:01,421 Why not? 580 00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:03,543 I feel like a projectionist. 581 00:23:03,543 --> 00:23:04,864 Oh, Montgomery always did it. 582 00:23:04,864 --> 00:23:06,265 So? 583 00:23:07,747 --> 00:23:09,469 They do a rattling good trade down there, eh? 584 00:23:09,469 --> 00:23:10,830 Not bad for a ghost village. 585 00:23:10,830 --> 00:23:12,151 (snaps fingers) 586 00:23:12,151 --> 00:23:13,232 You're wasting your time, general. 587 00:23:13,232 --> 00:23:14,434 Why? 588 00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:15,234 There aren't any more. 589 00:23:15,234 --> 00:23:17,076 Oh, house lights. 590 00:23:17,076 --> 00:23:18,237 (snaps fingers) 591 00:23:25,445 --> 00:23:26,926 Well, how many were there? 592 00:23:26,926 --> 00:23:30,329 Out of the 11 you took... oh, nine are in Who's Who. 593 00:23:30,329 --> 00:23:34,734 And seven of them left estates of over 100,000 pounds. 594 00:23:34,734 --> 00:23:36,856 So the majority of them are rich and reasonably eminent. 595 00:23:36,856 --> 00:23:38,738 At some stage of their lives. 596 00:23:38,738 --> 00:23:41,340 Can you find out who were their doctors? 597 00:23:41,340 --> 00:23:42,341 I wish I knew. 598 00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:50,269 Who was young Benson's doctor? 599 00:23:50,269 --> 00:23:52,512 That's next on the agenda. 600 00:23:52,512 --> 00:23:54,193 Young Benson, he dealt with a Dr. Macombie. 601 00:23:54,193 --> 00:23:55,274 How do you know? 602 00:23:55,274 --> 00:23:57,036 I had him followed. He went off like a shot. 603 00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:58,197 Does he know you're on to him? 604 00:23:58,197 --> 00:23:59,719 He will when I'm ready. 605 00:23:59,719 --> 00:24:03,843 Odd, though, wasn't it about that Cockney gravedigger? 606 00:24:03,843 --> 00:24:06,245 He was so obviously a recent import. 607 00:24:06,245 --> 00:24:07,446 Oh, did you find out about that man I met down there? 608 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:09,849 - Roy Hopkins? - Mmm. 609 00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:10,810 Was his car registration a London one? 610 00:24:10,810 --> 00:24:11,971 Yep. 611 00:24:11,971 --> 00:24:13,292 There are only two Roy Hopkins in the phone book. 612 00:24:13,292 --> 00:24:14,494 One is an accountant 613 00:24:14,494 --> 00:24:15,855 and the other runs a cracker factory. 614 00:24:45,084 --> 00:24:46,085 Let me give you a hand! 615 00:24:46,085 --> 00:24:47,967 Oh! 616 00:24:47,967 --> 00:24:49,008 Please don't bother. 617 00:24:49,008 --> 00:24:51,490 Oh, I say, my goodness. 618 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:52,692 Well, the customer's always right. 619 00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:53,573 Thank you. 620 00:24:55,655 --> 00:24:57,376 No, no, no, you keep your flag on the summit. 621 00:24:57,376 --> 00:24:58,978 I'll follow up with the ponies. 622 00:25:00,419 --> 00:25:02,542 Oh, did I hurt you? 623 00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:04,343 No, no, it's only a flesh wound. 624 00:25:04,343 --> 00:25:05,344 Come on, confidence. 625 00:25:05,344 --> 00:25:07,506 (both laugh) 626 00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:08,988 Only a few. 627 00:25:08,988 --> 00:25:10,469 Oh, it's no use. 628 00:25:10,469 --> 00:25:12,872 I've got till next Christmas to clear them up anyway. 629 00:25:12,872 --> 00:25:14,273 I'm delighted to hear it. How do you do? 630 00:25:14,273 --> 00:25:15,514 How do you do? 631 00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,516 Now I think it's my turn to insist now. 632 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:18,758 - Really? - Yeah. 633 00:25:21,761 --> 00:25:24,123 Ham... and cheese and tomato. 634 00:25:24,123 --> 00:25:25,124 Well, mustard? 635 00:25:25,124 --> 00:25:26,525 - Of course? - French? 636 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:27,526 Well, is there any other? 637 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:28,848 Enchanté, mademoiselle. 638 00:25:28,848 --> 00:25:30,249 (chuckles) 639 00:25:32,371 --> 00:25:33,412 Can I help you? 640 00:25:33,412 --> 00:25:35,575 Mr. Hopkins in? 641 00:25:35,575 --> 00:25:38,297 No, he's lunching with some Japanese businessmen. 642 00:25:38,297 --> 00:25:40,219 They make the goodies that go in the crackers. 643 00:25:40,219 --> 00:25:41,701 Well, the little masters of miniature. 644 00:25:41,701 --> 00:25:43,062 Hey, what do you got in season, eh? 645 00:25:49,108 --> 00:25:50,309 For piping your puddings aboard. 646 00:25:50,309 --> 00:25:52,111 (chuckles) 647 00:25:52,111 --> 00:25:53,192 Hey, careful! 648 00:25:53,192 --> 00:25:54,513 (coughs) 649 00:25:54,513 --> 00:25:57,236 Oh, um, that's very good on an x-ray plate. 650 00:25:57,236 --> 00:25:58,838 Yeah. Well, we don't give them to the very young. 651 00:25:58,838 --> 00:26:00,079 I should hope not. 652 00:26:00,079 --> 00:26:01,160 The Chancellor's Balloon. 653 00:26:02,842 --> 00:26:04,363 Prevents inflation. 654 00:26:04,363 --> 00:26:05,685 (chuckles) 655 00:26:05,685 --> 00:26:07,727 Look, I really wanted to order three dozen boxes 656 00:26:07,727 --> 00:26:10,569 of crackers for an old folks' anniversary. 657 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,531 Oh, hey, they mustn't crack too loud. 658 00:26:12,531 --> 00:26:13,973 Of course not. 659 00:26:13,973 --> 00:26:16,495 We have the most discreet crackers in the business. 660 00:26:16,495 --> 00:26:18,017 Try this for size. 661 00:26:22,381 --> 00:26:25,304 Oops. Sorry. 662 00:26:25,304 --> 00:26:26,305 (soft pop) 663 00:26:26,305 --> 00:26:27,306 Oh. 664 00:26:27,306 --> 00:26:29,709 Strength C. D is softer. 665 00:26:29,709 --> 00:26:30,870 Oh, dear. 666 00:26:30,870 --> 00:26:32,151 Perhaps we'd better try a B, eh? 667 00:26:32,151 --> 00:26:33,192 Yep. 668 00:26:33,192 --> 00:26:34,593 Allow me, madame. 669 00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:35,755 Oh, thank you. 670 00:26:38,638 --> 00:26:39,639 There you go. 671 00:26:39,639 --> 00:26:41,080 All right. 672 00:26:42,201 --> 00:26:43,482 Oh, marvelous! 673 00:26:43,482 --> 00:26:46,005 That's very good indeed. It will do really fine. 674 00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:48,928 The old folks will love that. I'll have three dozen boxes. 675 00:26:48,928 --> 00:26:50,690 Does Hopkins have an office around here? 676 00:26:50,690 --> 00:26:54,253 Uh, yeah. First floor. 677 00:26:54,253 --> 00:26:56,175 Is he around all the time? 678 00:26:56,175 --> 00:26:57,416 Oh, some of the time. 679 00:26:57,416 --> 00:26:58,457 He's not exactly wedded to the business. 680 00:26:58,457 --> 00:26:59,859 - No? - No. 681 00:26:59,859 --> 00:27:02,021 He inherited it. His uncle died last year. 682 00:27:02,021 --> 00:27:03,142 Where was that? 683 00:27:03,142 --> 00:27:04,263 Cornwall. 684 00:27:04,263 --> 00:27:06,105 Oh, fateful part of the country. 685 00:27:06,105 --> 00:27:07,907 Hmm? Of course, he'd sell out tomorrow if he could. 686 00:27:07,907 --> 00:27:10,429 Why doesn't he? 687 00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:13,953 LLC. What the banks don't own, his partner does. 688 00:27:13,953 --> 00:27:15,154 Oh, doesn't the business do too well? 689 00:27:15,154 --> 00:27:17,476 It's a very short season. 690 00:27:17,476 --> 00:27:19,558 Mr. and Mrs. Public just aren't cracker-minded. 691 00:27:19,558 --> 00:27:21,961 Oh, Christmas, yard kiddies' party, fine. 692 00:27:21,961 --> 00:27:23,803 But they're not on a weekly shopping list. 693 00:27:23,803 --> 00:27:25,004 (chuckles) 694 00:27:25,004 --> 00:27:26,926 I mean, it's not going to replace vitamin C. 695 00:27:26,926 --> 00:27:28,007 You can live without them, can't you? 696 00:27:28,007 --> 00:27:29,488 - Yes. - There you are. 697 00:27:29,488 --> 00:27:30,489 What's he like? 698 00:27:30,489 --> 00:27:31,731 Hopkins? 699 00:27:31,731 --> 00:27:33,052 Oh, a fat, decadent bourgeois capitalist 700 00:27:33,052 --> 00:27:34,814 exploiting the proletarian masses. 701 00:27:34,814 --> 00:27:35,855 Really? 702 00:27:35,855 --> 00:27:37,216 No, actually he's rather nice. 703 00:27:37,216 --> 00:27:39,098 Who should I make the invoice out to? 704 00:27:39,098 --> 00:27:42,381 The Twilight Home, Camberley. 705 00:27:42,381 --> 00:27:44,263 I'll come and collect them. 706 00:27:46,545 --> 00:27:48,067 Anything else? 707 00:27:54,513 --> 00:27:56,555 (humming) 708 00:27:56,555 --> 00:27:58,157 Compliments of the house. 709 00:27:58,157 --> 00:28:00,599 My goodness me. You sure took me by surprise. 710 00:28:00,599 --> 00:28:01,440 Aren't they lovely? 711 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,002 Thank you. 712 00:28:03,002 --> 00:28:05,164 Hey, don't believe all you read in the motto. 713 00:28:05,164 --> 00:28:06,205 You know I won't. 714 00:28:06,205 --> 00:28:08,087 Oops, terribly sorry, your honor. 715 00:28:09,408 --> 00:28:10,409 Who was that? 716 00:28:10,409 --> 00:28:11,610 A customer. 717 00:28:11,610 --> 00:28:13,132 - What did he want? - Crackers. What else? 718 00:28:14,373 --> 00:28:16,015 I've seen him before somewhere. 719 00:28:17,496 --> 00:28:19,378 Send me up a pot of tea, will you, darling? 720 00:28:19,378 --> 00:28:21,380 All that Japanese rice wine. 721 00:28:23,022 --> 00:28:26,025 Eight of them treated by the same Dr. Macombie. 722 00:28:26,025 --> 00:28:27,026 According to the death certificates. 723 00:28:27,026 --> 00:28:28,187 It's fantastic. 724 00:28:28,187 --> 00:28:29,388 He's a busy man. 725 00:28:29,388 --> 00:28:30,709 But he's very happy to fit you in, Mrs. Gale. 726 00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,031 In best pine? 727 00:28:32,031 --> 00:28:34,153 Six foot by two foot, silk lined? 728 00:28:36,475 --> 00:28:37,797 Hey, what should I have wrong with me? 729 00:28:37,797 --> 00:28:39,278 Well, what would you like? 730 00:28:39,278 --> 00:28:41,480 Well, I can offer him any amount of bruising. 731 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,682 That's all that vigorous company you keep. 732 00:28:43,682 --> 00:28:45,124 How about a slipped disc? 733 00:28:45,124 --> 00:28:46,685 He is a doctor, Steed. 734 00:28:46,685 --> 00:28:48,167 Hmm? 735 00:28:48,167 --> 00:28:50,169 Well, it's a pretty treacherous area. 736 00:28:50,169 --> 00:28:51,811 No. Probe around, scare him. 737 00:28:51,811 --> 00:28:53,012 See if he drops his thermometer. 738 00:28:53,012 --> 00:28:56,816 What if he prescribes a trip to Cornwall his style? 739 00:28:56,816 --> 00:28:58,657 Say you don't feel quite up to it. 740 00:28:58,657 --> 00:29:00,539 As a matter of fact, I booked you on the 7:40. 741 00:29:00,539 --> 00:29:02,461 Arriving midnight. 742 00:29:02,461 --> 00:29:04,343 - When? - Tonight. 743 00:29:04,343 --> 00:29:05,264 Ooh. 744 00:29:09,428 --> 00:29:14,794 It's an enlarged lymph gland, and the spleen's puffy, yes. 745 00:29:14,794 --> 00:29:16,595 Well, I'd like to bring her to the clinic. 746 00:29:18,077 --> 00:29:19,358 All right. Well, I'll call you back. 747 00:29:22,721 --> 00:29:24,083 Will you send in the next patient, please? 748 00:29:31,010 --> 00:29:32,611 Thank you, nurse. 749 00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:44,023 Would you come in, please? Sit down. 750 00:29:44,023 --> 00:29:45,144 Be with you in a moment. 751 00:29:49,949 --> 00:29:51,710 What a very unusual surgery. 752 00:29:51,710 --> 00:29:53,432 I wouldn't have thought factories in this area 753 00:29:53,432 --> 00:29:54,713 would be felicitous. 754 00:29:54,713 --> 00:29:56,395 You'd be surprised. Would you like to sit down? 755 00:29:56,395 --> 00:29:57,116 Thank you. 756 00:29:59,198 --> 00:30:01,040 Ah, now, Mrs. Gale, isn't it? 757 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:02,561 Yes. 758 00:30:02,561 --> 00:30:04,443 It was kind of you to see me at such short notice, doctor. 759 00:30:04,443 --> 00:30:05,604 Not at all. 760 00:30:05,604 --> 00:30:06,725 Well, now, what's the trouble? 761 00:30:06,725 --> 00:30:09,128 I've got a bad eye. 762 00:30:09,128 --> 00:30:11,330 How did you do it? 763 00:30:11,330 --> 00:30:13,372 I was hit with a hockey stick. 764 00:30:13,372 --> 00:30:15,774 When was this? 765 00:30:15,774 --> 00:30:17,016 Yesterday. 766 00:30:17,016 --> 00:30:18,978 Is it swollen? 767 00:30:18,978 --> 00:30:20,459 No, but it's very sore. 768 00:30:20,459 --> 00:30:21,620 Is it watering up? 769 00:30:21,620 --> 00:30:22,942 Ever since. 770 00:30:22,942 --> 00:30:25,224 Right. 771 00:30:25,224 --> 00:30:27,706 Well, perhaps you'd like to get on that couch, 772 00:30:27,706 --> 00:30:29,548 would you please, Mrs. Gale? 773 00:30:29,548 --> 00:30:30,349 I'll take a look at it. 774 00:30:35,314 --> 00:30:37,796 That's it. Make yourself comfortable. 775 00:30:37,796 --> 00:30:39,718 Put your head well back, will you? 776 00:30:39,718 --> 00:30:41,080 There we are. 777 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:42,161 You can't be too careful with these things. 778 00:30:43,923 --> 00:30:49,008 The eye is not the delicate instrument people imagine. 779 00:30:49,008 --> 00:30:50,209 On the other hand, 780 00:30:50,209 --> 00:30:54,773 it doesn't take much to detach the retina. 781 00:30:54,773 --> 00:30:56,215 Hmm. 782 00:30:56,215 --> 00:30:58,697 It seems to be all right, Mrs. Gale. 783 00:30:58,697 --> 00:31:00,019 - I think you're lucky. - Good. 784 00:31:00,019 --> 00:31:01,420 Perhaps it'd be a good idea 785 00:31:01,420 --> 00:31:02,861 to keep the dark glasses on for a few days. 786 00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:06,265 - Yes, I will. - Well, do you live in London? 787 00:31:06,265 --> 00:31:08,107 No. My home's in Cornwall. 788 00:31:08,107 --> 00:31:10,229 I have a cottage just outside a little village. 789 00:31:10,229 --> 00:31:11,510 I don't suppose you'd know it. 790 00:31:11,510 --> 00:31:14,073 - Whereabout? - Tenby. 791 00:31:14,073 --> 00:31:17,076 No. I... I don't know the area very well. 792 00:31:17,076 --> 00:31:18,958 Oh, I'll get you some drops. 793 00:31:18,958 --> 00:31:20,359 And if you have any further trouble, 794 00:31:20,359 --> 00:31:22,001 don't hesitate to go to your own doctor. 795 00:31:22,001 --> 00:31:23,002 No, I won't. Thank you. 796 00:31:23,002 --> 00:31:24,123 I'll not keep you. 797 00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:43,102 Admiring my rockery? 798 00:31:43,102 --> 00:31:44,103 Yes. 799 00:31:44,103 --> 00:31:45,664 What a lovely monsteriosa. 800 00:31:45,664 --> 00:31:46,946 Yes, it is rather. 801 00:31:46,946 --> 00:31:49,908 Now, don't use these like an ordinary eye drop. 802 00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,750 They're a wee bit stronger. 803 00:31:51,750 --> 00:31:53,752 And you'll find the dropper in the cap. 804 00:31:53,752 --> 00:31:55,514 Thank you very much, doctor. 805 00:31:55,514 --> 00:31:56,515 You've got your car here? 806 00:31:56,515 --> 00:31:57,516 Yes. Yes, I have. 807 00:31:57,516 --> 00:31:59,558 Good. Tell me, Mrs. Gale, 808 00:31:59,558 --> 00:32:01,840 how did you come to choose me 809 00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,322 out of all the doctors in London? 810 00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:04,323 I know a patient of yours. 811 00:32:04,323 --> 00:32:05,324 Oh? Who's that? 812 00:32:05,324 --> 00:32:06,966 John Benson. 813 00:32:06,966 --> 00:32:09,568 Oh, yes, yes. I... I know him. 814 00:32:09,568 --> 00:32:11,370 Well, good day to you, Mrs. Gale. 815 00:32:11,370 --> 00:32:12,411 Goodbye, doctor. Thank you. 816 00:32:24,783 --> 00:32:25,985 Now pull yourself together! 817 00:32:25,985 --> 00:32:27,186 Of course, we're not backing out! 818 00:32:27,186 --> 00:32:29,948 She'll go through with it as planned, 819 00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:31,390 and so will you, understand? 820 00:32:31,390 --> 00:32:34,033 (banging) 821 00:32:34,033 --> 00:32:36,555 We say we'll deliver, we'll deliver. 822 00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:37,436 Bye. 823 00:32:38,557 --> 00:32:39,798 Problems? 824 00:32:39,798 --> 00:32:41,040 Ah, business. 825 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:42,881 What else is it but headaches and problems? 826 00:32:42,881 --> 00:32:44,243 - Profits? - Yes, you show me. 827 00:32:44,243 --> 00:32:45,524 (chuckles) 828 00:32:45,524 --> 00:32:48,807 Oh, that man didn't come back again, did he? 829 00:32:48,807 --> 00:32:50,369 Man? What man? 830 00:32:50,369 --> 00:32:51,930 Your friend in the fancy waistcoat. 831 00:32:51,930 --> 00:32:53,052 The other afternoon? 832 00:32:53,052 --> 00:32:55,054 Oh, no, he hasn't. 833 00:32:55,054 --> 00:32:57,136 If he does, tell me, huh? 834 00:32:57,136 --> 00:32:58,697 - Yeah. - Okay. 835 00:33:22,801 --> 00:33:25,484 (banging) 836 00:33:59,158 --> 00:34:02,161 (church bell tolls) 837 00:34:02,161 --> 00:34:04,923 (organ music plays) 838 00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:31,190 ♪♪ 839 00:34:53,732 --> 00:34:54,933 Hyah! 840 00:35:25,724 --> 00:35:27,526 Aah! 841 00:35:29,368 --> 00:35:30,809 (breathing hard) 842 00:35:30,809 --> 00:35:32,090 Unh! 843 00:35:39,938 --> 00:35:41,580 Unh! 844 00:36:05,444 --> 00:36:07,486 Mrs. Gale? 845 00:36:07,486 --> 00:36:09,888 I think you owe me an explanation. 846 00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:17,456 (laughs) 847 00:36:20,459 --> 00:36:22,501 Oh, come on, dear. 848 00:36:22,501 --> 00:36:24,943 Well, maybe just a bubble or two. 849 00:36:26,465 --> 00:36:29,147 Tell me, do all your clients qualify 850 00:36:29,147 --> 00:36:30,509 for champagne lunches and orchids. 851 00:36:30,509 --> 00:36:32,631 Oh, Eve, shame on you. 852 00:36:32,631 --> 00:36:34,633 What do you think this is, a PR do? 853 00:36:34,633 --> 00:36:35,994 Chatting the client up? 854 00:36:35,994 --> 00:36:37,436 Sorry. 855 00:36:37,436 --> 00:36:40,879 I'll forgive you... just. 856 00:36:40,879 --> 00:36:45,444 It's been a long time since I lunched in the West End. 857 00:36:45,444 --> 00:36:46,605 Promise me something, Roy. 858 00:36:46,605 --> 00:36:49,047 - What? - You won't add up the bill. 859 00:36:49,047 --> 00:36:51,450 If they want to overcharge you for the Brussels, let them. 860 00:36:51,450 --> 00:36:52,611 He used to do that. 861 00:36:52,611 --> 00:36:53,932 Oh, practically a ritual. 862 00:36:56,375 --> 00:36:57,175 We should be careful. 863 00:36:57,175 --> 00:36:58,697 We will be. 864 00:37:00,018 --> 00:37:01,580 Afraid of being recognized? 865 00:37:01,580 --> 00:37:04,303 Luncheon with a prominent cracker manufacturer, 866 00:37:04,303 --> 00:37:05,304 anything is possible. 867 00:37:05,304 --> 00:37:07,145 Oh, my chauffeur is discreet. 868 00:37:07,145 --> 00:37:09,908 I wink with the right eye. That means straight home. 869 00:37:09,908 --> 00:37:12,351 And a wink with the left means through the park, 870 00:37:12,351 --> 00:37:14,152 and if it takes less than 40 minutes, you're fired. 871 00:37:14,152 --> 00:37:15,434 (laughs) 872 00:37:15,434 --> 00:37:16,955 And which eye is it to be today? 873 00:37:16,955 --> 00:37:19,358 Well, seeing as Nelson was my uncle, 874 00:37:19,358 --> 00:37:20,198 I'll let you do the winking. 875 00:37:20,198 --> 00:37:21,600 Mm-hmm. 876 00:37:23,642 --> 00:37:25,083 Have you decided when it's time? 877 00:37:25,083 --> 00:37:26,405 Yes. 878 00:37:26,405 --> 00:37:27,326 - Soon? - Tonight. 879 00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:30,208 Good. 880 00:37:31,530 --> 00:37:32,210 Well, let's drink to that. 881 00:37:33,972 --> 00:37:35,374 No, I'd rather not. 882 00:37:35,374 --> 00:37:37,536 Let's go, Roy. 883 00:37:37,536 --> 00:37:39,658 Relax, Eve. 884 00:37:45,944 --> 00:37:47,666 He won't feel anything, you know. 885 00:37:50,509 --> 00:37:53,312 Woman: Lord, Lord, methought what pain it was to drown. 886 00:37:53,312 --> 00:37:55,594 What dreadful noise of water in mine ears. 887 00:37:55,594 --> 00:37:57,275 What sights of ugly death within mine eyes. 888 00:37:57,275 --> 00:38:00,879 Methought I saw a thousand fearful wrecks. 889 00:38:00,879 --> 00:38:02,601 A thousand men that fishes gnawed upon. 890 00:38:02,601 --> 00:38:04,323 Wedges of gold... 891 00:38:04,323 --> 00:38:05,524 I would speak with Clarence 892 00:38:05,524 --> 00:38:06,925 and came hither on my legs, 893 00:38:06,925 --> 00:38:09,127 as the First Murderer. 894 00:38:09,127 --> 00:38:11,209 (chuckles) How did you get in? 895 00:38:11,209 --> 00:38:13,812 Ah, 'tis not... It isn't open. 896 00:38:13,812 --> 00:38:16,575 Well, it should be. It's early closing. 897 00:38:16,575 --> 00:38:18,337 I know it says closed. I grant you that. 898 00:38:18,337 --> 00:38:20,459 So now you know. 899 00:38:20,459 --> 00:38:22,621 I'm a would-be actress. 900 00:38:22,621 --> 00:38:23,782 Yeah, I think I got that part. 901 00:38:23,782 --> 00:38:25,664 - Waiting in the wings. - What for? 902 00:38:25,664 --> 00:38:26,665 Parts for women. 903 00:38:26,665 --> 00:38:28,106 Eh? 904 00:38:28,106 --> 00:38:30,629 Well, could you see Mrs. Siddons or Sarah Bernhardt 905 00:38:30,629 --> 00:38:32,190 riding a motorcycle scratching themselves? 906 00:38:32,190 --> 00:38:33,672 (chuckles) 907 00:38:33,672 --> 00:38:35,033 Must be something for a pretty girl like you. 908 00:38:35,033 --> 00:38:36,715 Yeah, working in a cracker factory. 909 00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:38,797 Oh, don't you let Mr. Hopkins hear you. 910 00:38:38,797 --> 00:38:40,559 Oh, he wouldn't mind. According to him, 911 00:38:40,559 --> 00:38:42,040 the firm's losing a fortune anyway. 912 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,802 Well, he obviously doesn't come from the poor home. 913 00:38:43,802 --> 00:38:45,844 Drives a fast car, eats in swanky restaurants. 914 00:38:45,844 --> 00:38:47,245 Hey, you've been spying, haven't you? 915 00:38:47,245 --> 00:38:48,447 Guilty. 916 00:38:48,447 --> 00:38:50,409 Hopkins said he recognized you. 917 00:38:50,409 --> 00:38:51,850 Oh, where from? 918 00:38:51,850 --> 00:38:53,171 Couldn't remember. 919 00:38:53,171 --> 00:38:54,172 Well, good for him. 920 00:38:54,172 --> 00:38:55,734 So what's your interest? 921 00:38:55,734 --> 00:38:58,096 - Entre nous? - Strictly. 922 00:38:58,096 --> 00:38:59,378 Well, I have a little capital to invest. 923 00:38:59,378 --> 00:39:00,619 I thought this might be a cushy little billet. 924 00:39:00,619 --> 00:39:01,700 Oh, this isn't it, believe me. 925 00:39:01,700 --> 00:39:03,301 I do. 926 00:39:03,301 --> 00:39:05,143 Of course, he has another string to his bow. 927 00:39:05,143 --> 00:39:06,745 Uh, Mandrake Investments. 928 00:39:06,745 --> 00:39:08,507 That's what keeps him in clover. 929 00:39:08,507 --> 00:39:09,307 Oh, you know anything about it? 930 00:39:09,307 --> 00:39:10,589 Husher than hush. 931 00:39:10,589 --> 00:39:12,350 I sent your crackers off. 932 00:39:12,350 --> 00:39:13,432 Strength B? 933 00:39:13,432 --> 00:39:14,713 Of course. 934 00:39:14,713 --> 00:39:17,035 I hope those poor little dears are all right. 935 00:39:17,035 --> 00:39:18,276 I haven't read anything about it in the papers. 936 00:39:18,276 --> 00:39:19,438 (laughs) 937 00:39:19,438 --> 00:39:20,599 - There's my check. - Thanks. 938 00:39:20,599 --> 00:39:22,000 Hang on. I'll give you a receipt. 939 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,001 Where is he today? 940 00:39:23,001 --> 00:39:25,123 Lunch. 941 00:39:25,123 --> 00:39:27,125 Look, is it Japanese? 942 00:39:27,125 --> 00:39:28,887 No. 943 00:39:28,887 --> 00:39:31,089 In fact, his lady friend came to call for him, 944 00:39:31,089 --> 00:39:32,090 a Mrs. Turner. 945 00:39:32,090 --> 00:39:33,171 Loaded? 946 00:39:33,171 --> 00:39:34,533 And cocked. 947 00:39:34,533 --> 00:39:38,457 If he's out for another day, why don't you call me? 948 00:39:38,457 --> 00:39:40,419 Why? Why should I? 949 00:39:40,419 --> 00:39:42,100 We could have lunch. 950 00:39:42,100 --> 00:39:43,261 I owe you for the sandwiches. 951 00:39:43,261 --> 00:39:45,263 Nonsense. 952 00:39:45,263 --> 00:39:46,505 I know a little place in Soho. 953 00:39:46,505 --> 00:39:49,107 Soft music, muted corks popping. 954 00:39:49,107 --> 00:39:51,870 Gentle zephyrs wafting garlic from the kitchen. 955 00:39:51,870 --> 00:39:53,151 I don't like garlic. 956 00:39:53,151 --> 00:39:55,754 And some of the best-known theater producers eat there. 957 00:39:55,754 --> 00:39:57,836 Well, I don't actively dislike it. 958 00:39:57,836 --> 00:40:00,519 Here's my card. It's a date? 959 00:40:00,519 --> 00:40:03,081 Mr. Steed, you're on. 960 00:40:05,003 --> 00:40:07,285 (organ playing "Funeral March") 961 00:40:22,060 --> 00:40:23,862 (no audible dialogue) 962 00:40:49,167 --> 00:40:50,288 Where's Macombie? 963 00:40:50,288 --> 00:40:51,289 He'll be here. Don't worry. 964 00:40:51,289 --> 00:40:52,130 How did it go? 965 00:40:55,854 --> 00:40:57,255 Went. 966 00:40:57,255 --> 00:40:58,416 What happened? 967 00:40:58,416 --> 00:41:00,539 I gave him the stuff, left him. 968 00:41:00,539 --> 00:41:02,180 When I came back, he was dead. 969 00:41:02,180 --> 00:41:03,702 Easy, isn't it? 970 00:41:03,702 --> 00:41:07,145 I'll tell you the answer to that when we've buried him. 971 00:41:07,145 --> 00:41:08,587 You scared? 972 00:41:08,587 --> 00:41:09,828 Are you kidding? 973 00:41:09,828 --> 00:41:12,150 Relax, Eve. 974 00:41:12,150 --> 00:41:14,392 It's all yours now. 975 00:41:14,392 --> 00:41:16,234 That's right. 976 00:41:16,234 --> 00:41:17,756 Sorry, I'm late. 977 00:41:17,756 --> 00:41:18,757 Little chap went down with flu. 978 00:41:18,757 --> 00:41:20,238 One thing after another. 979 00:41:20,238 --> 00:41:21,680 I only wanted to see that everything had gone smoothly. 980 00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:23,241 See you at the funeral. 981 00:41:23,241 --> 00:41:25,844 Well, I've made out the certificate, Mrs. Turner. 982 00:41:25,844 --> 00:41:27,926 And what did he die from? 983 00:41:27,926 --> 00:41:30,809 Chronic gastric catarrh with colitis. 984 00:41:30,809 --> 00:41:32,851 I've also invented a medical history for the patient. 985 00:41:32,851 --> 00:41:34,773 Where are we now? 986 00:41:34,773 --> 00:41:37,856 Last saw him three years ago. 1961, Asian flu. 987 00:41:37,856 --> 00:41:40,819 Pleurisy last year. And now gastric catarrh. 988 00:41:40,819 --> 00:41:42,460 There's only one thing I don't understand. 989 00:41:42,460 --> 00:41:43,662 What's that? 990 00:41:43,662 --> 00:41:46,344 Why not cremate? It would seem far safer. 991 00:41:46,344 --> 00:41:48,386 Yes, I know it seems safer. But, you see, it isn't. 992 00:41:48,386 --> 00:41:50,789 You see, it takes two doctors to sign the certificate. 993 00:41:50,789 --> 00:41:53,792 This way, it's far simpler, much less fuss. 994 00:41:53,792 --> 00:41:56,595 Mr. Turner never liked fuss. 995 00:41:58,356 --> 00:41:59,798 (bottle clatters) 996 00:42:11,209 --> 00:42:12,410 (dog barking) 997 00:42:31,830 --> 00:42:33,271 (knocking on door) 998 00:42:33,271 --> 00:42:34,993 Come out and drink your coffee before it gets cold, 999 00:42:34,993 --> 00:42:36,114 Seems silly to waste it. 1000 00:42:39,638 --> 00:42:42,200 What do you want? 1001 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,643 Just another chat while you're still with us. 1002 00:42:44,643 --> 00:42:45,924 Been having me followed? 1003 00:42:45,924 --> 00:42:47,005 Have I? 1004 00:42:47,005 --> 00:42:48,126 Thought you had me last time, didn't you? 1005 00:42:48,126 --> 00:42:49,127 Did I? 1006 00:42:49,127 --> 00:42:50,128 All that talk about the letter. 1007 00:42:50,128 --> 00:42:51,169 There was no letter. 1008 00:42:51,169 --> 00:42:52,170 Who told you that, Macombie? 1009 00:42:52,170 --> 00:42:53,171 How do you know about him? 1010 00:42:53,171 --> 00:42:54,172 How do you? 1011 00:42:54,172 --> 00:42:55,173 He was father's doctor. 1012 00:42:56,574 --> 00:42:57,616 You know what this is? 1013 00:42:57,616 --> 00:42:59,057 No. 1014 00:42:59,057 --> 00:43:00,378 The medical history, Steve. 1015 00:43:00,378 --> 00:43:03,141 And it lists all the treatment that Dr. Macombie 1016 00:43:03,141 --> 00:43:04,542 ever gave your father. 1017 00:43:04,542 --> 00:43:05,543 What about it? 1018 00:43:05,543 --> 00:43:07,185 Well, when you sign a death certificate, 1019 00:43:07,185 --> 00:43:08,947 you normally know your patient. 1020 00:43:08,947 --> 00:43:10,909 This goes back to 1956. 1021 00:43:10,909 --> 00:43:12,390 I'd call that knowing him. 1022 00:43:12,390 --> 00:43:15,273 July 8, 1956, he prescribed a gluten-free diet 1023 00:43:15,273 --> 00:43:16,274 and some blood tests. 1024 00:43:16,274 --> 00:43:18,156 So it says. 1025 00:43:18,156 --> 00:43:20,679 On July 8, your father was in Beirut arresting a man called Malick. 1026 00:43:24,963 --> 00:43:26,284 How do you know? 1027 00:43:26,284 --> 00:43:27,806 'Cause I was with him. And he wasn't on a diet. 1028 00:43:27,806 --> 00:43:29,287 What do you want? 1029 00:43:29,287 --> 00:43:32,731 How did you meet Macombie, and who put you onto him? 1030 00:43:35,573 --> 00:43:37,255 Was it Hopkins? 1031 00:43:37,255 --> 00:43:39,017 He's a member of the same club. 1032 00:43:39,017 --> 00:43:41,379 Club? So that's how he operates, hmm? 1033 00:43:41,379 --> 00:43:43,021 He belongs to about every club in London. 1034 00:43:43,021 --> 00:43:44,422 Knows everything about every member. 1035 00:43:44,422 --> 00:43:45,463 Does he know a good solicitor? 1036 00:43:45,463 --> 00:43:48,787 I expect so. 1037 00:43:48,787 --> 00:43:50,669 Maybe you should get in touch with him. 1038 00:43:50,669 --> 00:43:51,429 You're gonna need it. 1039 00:44:03,001 --> 00:44:05,964 ♪ Lead, kindly light ♪ 1040 00:44:05,964 --> 00:44:08,086 ♪ Amid the encircling gloom ♪ 1041 00:44:08,086 --> 00:44:09,888 Vicar? 1042 00:44:09,888 --> 00:44:11,569 Ah, Mrs. Gale, you're back. 1043 00:44:11,569 --> 00:44:12,811 Yes, as I promised. 1044 00:44:12,811 --> 00:44:13,852 You were up with the larks this morning. 1045 00:44:13,852 --> 00:44:14,853 I missed you. 1046 00:44:14,853 --> 00:44:16,054 I've been in Bodmin. 1047 00:44:16,054 --> 00:44:17,776 I found out more than I expected. 1048 00:44:17,776 --> 00:44:20,218 Well, I hope now you'll be able to give me a convincing explanation. 1049 00:44:20,218 --> 00:44:22,741 This is the analyst's report on the soil 1050 00:44:22,741 --> 00:44:23,742 I took from the graveyard. 1051 00:44:23,742 --> 00:44:25,023 What does it show? 1052 00:44:25,023 --> 00:44:26,865 The earth is heavily impregnated with arsenic, 1053 00:44:26,865 --> 00:44:28,506 over 200 parts per million. 1054 00:44:28,506 --> 00:44:29,547 Well, arsenic doesn't surprise me. 1055 00:44:29,547 --> 00:44:30,949 Why not? 1056 00:44:30,949 --> 00:44:32,270 Where there's tin, there's usually arsenic. 1057 00:44:32,270 --> 00:44:34,312 Yes, of course. 1058 00:44:34,312 --> 00:44:36,234 The mine was only a quarter mile up the road. 1059 00:44:36,234 --> 00:44:39,918 Well, that's the attraction your cemetery has, Vicar. 1060 00:44:39,918 --> 00:44:41,399 (chuckles) Attraction? 1061 00:44:41,399 --> 00:44:45,043 After a body's been buried for more than, say, two months, 1062 00:44:45,043 --> 00:44:47,205 it would be heavily impregnated with arsenic. 1063 00:44:47,205 --> 00:44:49,487 So it would be pointless to exhume it. 1064 00:44:49,487 --> 00:44:50,729 Who would want to? 1065 00:44:50,729 --> 00:44:52,250 The Home Office. 1066 00:44:53,491 --> 00:44:55,173 Home Office? 1067 00:44:55,173 --> 00:44:57,736 Well, if they thought that somebody had been murdered, yes. 1068 00:44:57,736 --> 00:44:58,737 Murdered? How? 1069 00:44:58,737 --> 00:45:00,218 Arsenic. 1070 00:45:00,218 --> 00:45:01,299 But who'd do such a thing? 1071 00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:04,182 Your friends, Hopkins and Macombie. 1072 00:45:05,744 --> 00:45:07,786 Do you mean to say that all those bodies 1073 00:45:07,786 --> 00:45:11,429 I buried recently were victims of murder? 1074 00:45:11,429 --> 00:45:12,871 Yes, I'm afraid so. 1075 00:45:12,871 --> 00:45:14,112 But this is terrible. 1076 00:45:14,112 --> 00:45:15,994 We must call the police immediately. 1077 00:45:15,994 --> 00:45:18,436 No, no. We must wait. We've got to have proof. 1078 00:45:18,436 --> 00:45:20,718 Mrs. Gale, we can't wait for another murder to be... 1079 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:23,842 We're too late, Vicar. 1080 00:45:23,842 --> 00:45:26,845 Oh, what a horrible scheme! 1081 00:45:27,966 --> 00:45:29,327 How did you get involved? 1082 00:45:29,327 --> 00:45:30,528 Involved? 1083 00:45:30,528 --> 00:45:32,450 You don't think that I was involved? 1084 00:45:32,450 --> 00:45:34,412 Well, then how did it come about? 1085 00:45:34,412 --> 00:45:36,574 Well, I first met Hopkins when his uncle died over at Coad's Green. 1086 00:45:36,574 --> 00:45:37,695 - I buried him. - Here? 1087 00:45:37,695 --> 00:45:40,218 Yes, just by the west wall, nice plot. 1088 00:45:40,218 --> 00:45:42,821 They were local people, so it's very likely 1089 00:45:42,821 --> 00:45:44,622 that Hopkins could have known about the arsenic in the soil. 1090 00:45:44,622 --> 00:45:46,584 And told the doctor he was working with. 1091 00:45:46,584 --> 00:45:48,867 But it can't be true. It never occurred to me. 1092 00:45:48,867 --> 00:45:50,748 They seemed such nice fellows. 1093 00:45:50,748 --> 00:45:52,470 I must write to the Bishop. 1094 00:45:52,470 --> 00:45:53,591 Vicar? 1095 00:45:56,034 --> 00:45:57,675 What were you getting out of it? 1096 00:45:57,675 --> 00:45:59,757 Oh, just a few guineas for Congo Relief. 1097 00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:01,759 Good heavens. 1098 00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:05,043 Congo children educated on blood money. 1099 00:46:05,043 --> 00:46:07,045 This is an evil business, Mrs. Gale. 1100 00:46:07,045 --> 00:46:08,126 How are we going to stop them? 1101 00:46:08,126 --> 00:46:11,529 Well, we've always got your pistol. 1102 00:46:11,529 --> 00:46:12,770 Oh, that. 1103 00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:14,692 I found it in my cassock last night. 1104 00:46:14,692 --> 00:46:17,936 I confiscated it at choir practice in Bodmin. 1105 00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:22,260 (knocking) 1106 00:46:26,744 --> 00:46:28,506 Ah, thanks be. I thought I'd missed you. 1107 00:46:28,506 --> 00:46:30,108 Another minute, you would have done. 1108 00:46:30,108 --> 00:46:30,909 I'm sorry I didn't get your message. 1109 00:46:30,909 --> 00:46:32,150 Well, that's all right. 1110 00:46:32,150 --> 00:46:33,391 You've odd hours, don't you? 1111 00:46:33,391 --> 00:46:34,472 It's an odd business. Now what do you want? 1112 00:46:34,472 --> 00:46:36,474 Tomorrow is D-Day. 1113 00:46:36,474 --> 00:46:37,795 Eh? 1114 00:46:37,795 --> 00:46:39,357 Hopkins is out of town. 1115 00:46:39,357 --> 00:46:41,359 Tomorrow, huh? 1116 00:46:41,359 --> 00:46:43,721 Thought I would exercise my option. 1117 00:46:43,721 --> 00:46:45,243 Hmm? 1118 00:46:45,243 --> 00:46:46,764 Garlic. Theater producers. Remember? 1119 00:46:46,764 --> 00:46:48,847 I'm terribly sorry. 1120 00:46:48,847 --> 00:46:49,928 Look, Judy, I can't make tomorrow. 1121 00:46:49,928 --> 00:46:51,329 Oh. 1122 00:46:51,329 --> 00:46:53,852 It's not that I'm trying to back out. 1123 00:46:53,852 --> 00:46:55,733 It's just that I have to go out of town in the morning. 1124 00:46:55,733 --> 00:46:57,175 How about next week? 1125 00:46:57,175 --> 00:46:58,977 Well, it depends on Mr. Hopkins. 1126 00:46:58,977 --> 00:46:59,817 Prettiest cracker in the shop. 1127 00:46:59,817 --> 00:47:01,379 How about Monday? 1128 00:47:01,379 --> 00:47:02,700 Come on. 1129 00:47:17,155 --> 00:47:18,796 200,000 pounds, isn't it? 1130 00:47:18,796 --> 00:47:19,878 About that. 1131 00:47:19,878 --> 00:47:21,920 What next? 1132 00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:23,521 Some winter sunshine. 1133 00:47:23,521 --> 00:47:24,722 Canaries? 1134 00:47:24,722 --> 00:47:25,924 Nassau. 1135 00:47:25,924 --> 00:47:27,045 Hmm, very nice. 1136 00:47:27,045 --> 00:47:29,567 I've earned it. 14 years with him. 1137 00:47:29,567 --> 00:47:32,810 Still, just over 10,000 pounds a year, darling. 1138 00:47:32,810 --> 00:47:34,772 Anyway, you married him. 1139 00:47:34,772 --> 00:47:37,175 Well, now there weren't so many alternatives. 1140 00:47:37,175 --> 00:47:39,617 When I married the late Mr. Turner, 1141 00:47:39,617 --> 00:47:41,459 I had a few shillings in my purse, 1142 00:47:41,459 --> 00:47:43,181 a pair of holey dance pumps, 1143 00:47:43,181 --> 00:47:44,742 and 12 years experience in the chorus. 1144 00:47:44,742 --> 00:47:47,785 Plus the firm conviction that any striptease I did 1145 00:47:47,785 --> 00:47:49,547 would be strictly for an audience of one. 1146 00:47:49,547 --> 00:47:51,509 Well, you have another audience now. 1147 00:47:51,509 --> 00:47:53,511 I'm retiring from the business. 1148 00:47:53,511 --> 00:47:55,473 Yes, but only temporarily. 1149 00:47:55,473 --> 00:47:57,115 I don't think so. 1150 00:47:59,197 --> 00:48:00,078 This all sounds very final. 1151 00:48:00,078 --> 00:48:01,079 It is. 1152 00:48:01,079 --> 00:48:02,280 What do you mean, Eve? 1153 00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:04,042 As far as I'm concerned, Mr. Hopkins, 1154 00:48:04,042 --> 00:48:05,043 you're just another tradesman. 1155 00:48:07,285 --> 00:48:10,168 Now look, Mrs. Turner... 1156 00:48:10,168 --> 00:48:12,170 I've traded with you, Mr. Hopkins. 1157 00:48:12,170 --> 00:48:13,571 End of story. 1158 00:48:15,493 --> 00:48:19,257 And I... go back below stairs. 1159 00:48:19,257 --> 00:48:20,618 Isn't that what they call it? 1160 00:48:20,618 --> 00:48:23,982 Where you go, sweetheart, is strictly up to you. 1161 00:48:27,705 --> 00:48:29,547 Well, they're almost ready, Mrs. Turner. 1162 00:48:29,547 --> 00:48:32,150 And the Vicar would like a word with you. 1163 00:48:40,598 --> 00:48:42,760 Vicar: We therefore commit his body to the ground. 1164 00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,643 Earth to earth, ashes to ashes. 1165 00:48:45,643 --> 00:48:47,645 Dust to dust. 1166 00:48:47,645 --> 00:48:50,888 In sure and certain hope of the resurrection 1167 00:48:50,888 --> 00:48:53,371 to eternal life 1168 00:48:53,371 --> 00:48:54,772 through our Lord, Jesus Christ. 1169 00:48:54,772 --> 00:48:55,933 Amen. 1170 00:48:55,933 --> 00:48:57,455 Amen. 1171 00:49:10,588 --> 00:49:12,550 - Good morning, Mr. Hopkins. - Good morning, doctor. 1172 00:49:12,550 --> 00:49:13,551 Good morning. 1173 00:49:13,551 --> 00:49:14,672 Fine day for a funeral. 1174 00:49:14,672 --> 00:49:16,754 Did you want something? 1175 00:49:16,754 --> 00:49:18,116 Yes. I wanted you. 1176 00:49:18,116 --> 00:49:19,117 Look here, if we're going to catch that train, 1177 00:49:19,117 --> 00:49:20,198 I think we'd better be off... 1178 00:49:20,198 --> 00:49:21,239 I won't delay you long, doctor. 1179 00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:23,041 This is rather an inopportune time. 1180 00:49:23,041 --> 00:49:24,042 This lady has just been through the ordeal 1181 00:49:24,042 --> 00:49:25,363 of burying her husband. 1182 00:49:25,363 --> 00:49:27,485 Who was poisoned 1183 00:49:27,485 --> 00:49:29,647 along with Benson and a good few others. 1184 00:49:29,647 --> 00:49:31,169 - Hopkins: What are you talking about? - Murder. 1185 00:49:31,169 --> 00:49:33,331 Absolute nonsense. 1186 00:49:33,331 --> 00:49:34,532 Now would you mind letting us pass? 1187 00:49:34,532 --> 00:49:35,533 This is hardly the time for jokes. 1188 00:49:35,533 --> 00:49:36,534 Steed: I'm very glad you agree. 1189 00:49:36,534 --> 00:49:38,096 Even if your allegations were true, 1190 00:49:38,096 --> 00:49:39,497 - you could never prove it. - Mrs. Gale: Why not? 1191 00:49:39,497 --> 00:49:40,978 - Because the ground here... - Quiet! 1192 00:49:40,978 --> 00:49:43,461 Arguing while Mr. Turner, God rest his soul, 1193 00:49:43,461 --> 00:49:44,782 - lies in his grave. - He doesn't. 1194 00:49:46,064 --> 00:49:47,065 What do you mean? 1195 00:49:47,065 --> 00:49:48,426 He isn't in his grave. 1196 00:49:48,426 --> 00:49:49,707 He's in the mortuary. 1197 00:49:49,707 --> 00:49:51,229 Post mortem an hour ago. 1198 00:49:51,229 --> 00:49:53,751 Result: acute arsenic poisoning. 1199 00:49:53,751 --> 00:49:54,992 Dr. Macombie: You fool! You incomparable... 1200 00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:56,114 This is a bluff. I don't believe a word of it. 1201 00:49:56,114 --> 00:49:58,596 All you buried were four sacks full of sand. 1202 00:49:58,596 --> 00:50:00,758 A fine return for my money! 10,000 pounds. 1203 00:50:00,758 --> 00:50:02,120 Scott? 1204 00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,682 Scott! Come on, man. Don't just stand there. 1205 00:50:04,682 --> 00:50:05,683 - (thunder) - Hey! 1206 00:50:05,683 --> 00:50:07,045 What? Unh! 1207 00:50:07,045 --> 00:50:09,927 - Hey! - All right, all right. 1208 00:50:09,927 --> 00:50:11,409 Take 'em away. 1209 00:50:11,409 --> 00:50:12,970 Mrs. Gale: The police are with the Vicar at the vestry door. 1210 00:50:12,970 --> 00:50:14,572 Right-o, Mrs. Gale. See you later. 1211 00:50:18,776 --> 00:50:19,817 How much? 1212 00:50:19,817 --> 00:50:21,699 100 pounds and Queen's evidence. 1213 00:50:21,699 --> 00:50:23,221 Ooh, you could have gotten him for 50. 1214 00:50:23,221 --> 00:50:24,822 What about me? 1215 00:50:24,822 --> 00:50:27,505 That's all right, my dear. Plenty of room in the big car. 1216 00:50:27,505 --> 00:50:28,826 It was their idea. 1217 00:50:28,826 --> 00:50:30,027 Of course. 1218 00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:31,229 - They planned it. - Naturally. 1219 00:50:31,229 --> 00:50:32,230 They even gave me the poison. 1220 00:50:32,230 --> 00:50:34,232 All you had to do was administer it. 1221 00:50:39,237 --> 00:50:40,958 Hopkins, I could understand. 1222 00:50:40,958 --> 00:50:42,400 But what went wrong with Macombie? 1223 00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,562 New techniques, better qualified men. 1224 00:50:44,562 --> 00:50:45,643 He just couldn't keep up. 1225 00:50:46,884 --> 00:50:48,005 And neither can I. What's the hurry? 1226 00:50:48,005 --> 00:50:49,487 I'm hungry. 1227 00:50:49,487 --> 00:50:50,808 Steed, do you know what I'd settle for right now? 1228 00:50:50,808 --> 00:50:52,410 What? 1229 00:50:52,410 --> 00:50:54,732 Some of your brown bread, cherry jam and Cornish cream. 1230 00:50:54,732 --> 00:50:57,415 Oh, at 11:15 in the morning? 1231 00:50:57,415 --> 00:50:59,417 Told you I always have it for breakfast. 1232 00:50:59,417 --> 00:51:00,858 (thunder) 1233 00:51:05,143 --> 00:51:07,265 (theme music) 79079

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