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1
00:00:03,467 --> 00:00:05,900
OK, guys, Juliet's gonna
be here any minute.
2
00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:07,800
How do I look?
3
00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:13,700
You think the boutonniere's over
the top? Is a little bit, huh?
4
00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:16,133
What about my candelabrum?
5
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:19,300
It would be fine, if you had
a hunchback and a bell tower.
6
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:21,200
[candelabrum clangs]
7
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:24,000
Justin, relax.
It's gonna be fine.
8
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,300
Well, it's just this
is the first meal
9
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,100
Juliet's having
with our family
10
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:29,100
and, you know, I don't want
anything to go wrong.
11
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:31,500
Oh, what could
possibly go wrong?
12
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,200
I think tonight
might be the night
13
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,000
I try to eat my
dinner blindfolded.
14
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:40,000
But then you wouldn't
know what you were eating.
15
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,100
You should do it.
16
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:45,367
Dad, give me the socks you're
wearing and some butter. Go.
17
00:00:47,133 --> 00:00:49,700
I don't need butter
to eat socks.
18
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:54,200
Good luck not being ashamed
of all that, sweetie.
19
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:58,033
Justin's new vampire
girlfriend is coming
over for dinner tonight.
20
00:00:58,033 --> 00:00:59,700
I still can't get
used to saying that.
21
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:01,133
I can.
22
00:01:01,133 --> 00:01:02,967
[singsong] Justin's
got a girlfriend,
23
00:01:02,967 --> 00:01:04,367
a vampire
girlfriend.
24
00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:06,567
- Justin's got a girlfriend.
- [Justin] Dad!
25
00:01:07,967 --> 00:01:09,667
I'm sorry. I'm just
trying to get out
26
00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:12,834
all of my inappropriate
behavior before she gets here.
27
00:01:12,834 --> 00:01:15,934
Hey, who wants to see
my appendix scar?
28
00:01:15,934 --> 00:01:18,600
[doorbell chimes]
29
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,467
That's her.
30
00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:25,133
Dad, I'm not opening that door
until you put your shirt down.
31
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,200
Good.
32
00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:30,834
OK. [clears throat]
33
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:35,934
Hi, Justin.
34
00:01:35,934 --> 00:01:39,100
[exhales] Hello, Juliet.
35
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:42,400
Why, you're a vision of
loveliness and enchantment.
36
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,700
Oh, you're so cute when you
give me old-timey compliments.
37
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,867
Well, you're a vampire.
Vampires are really old, right?
38
00:01:48,867 --> 00:01:53,100
[stammering] I mean, uh, not
that you're old or look old.
39
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:56,900
You look great for your
age. Which would be...?
40
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:59,734
Justin, I already told you, I'm
not telling you how old I am.
41
00:01:59,734 --> 00:02:03,200
If I did, you would freak out.
Like Caesar did. Oh, shoot!
42
00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:06,600
[singsong] I'm
narrowing it down.
43
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,500
[singsong] Nobody cares.
44
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,133
[clears throat]
You know my family.
45
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,033
Hi, guys.
46
00:02:15,033 --> 00:02:17,400
Wow, it smells really
great in here.
47
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,367
Well, I've prepared
a special meal
48
00:02:19,367 --> 00:02:22,400
in honor of our
special guest.
49
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,600
It's my special...
50
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:30,367
...ten cheese
enchilada surprise.
51
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:33,934
The surprise is
an eleventh cheese!
52
00:02:33,934 --> 00:02:38,300
Eleven cheeses
in one dish? Um...
53
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:40,000
I'm really sorry,
Mr. and Mrs. Russo.
54
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,100
I don't think
I can eat that.
55
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:43,867
I probably should've
mentioned this earlier,
56
00:02:43,867 --> 00:02:46,834
but vampires are kind
of health conscious.
57
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:50,133
Juliet, you're right.
58
00:02:50,133 --> 00:02:53,667
This cheesy food could be
considered unhealthy.
59
00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:57,133
And my family deserves
better than that.
60
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,600
[exclaims]
61
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,200
From now on, the Russos
will be eating much healthier.
62
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,667
Isn't that right, Jerry?
63
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:08,934
Get in there and
fight for our cake!
64
00:03:08,934 --> 00:03:10,734
Right.
65
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:15,233
Sure, honey. You know
how I always support
66
00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:17,300
your unpredictable whims.
67
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:19,767
Sorry.
68
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:23,000
Thank you. Now throw
that cake away.
69
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:26,600
[sighs, whimpers]
70
00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:31,100
[gasps]
71
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:35,600
[groaning]
72
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,767
[exclaims]
73
00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:41,567
Wow! You've only been
here for a few minutes
74
00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:44,300
and my family's already
better off for knowing you.
75
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,300
You're incredible.
76
00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,834
- No, you are, Justin.
- No, you are.
77
00:03:47,834 --> 00:03:49,500
[both simpering]
No, you are.
78
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,000
Butterfly kiss!
79
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,567
Wow. well... [laughs]
80
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:57,400
This just is great.
81
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,934
I'm gonna go
take out the trash.
82
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:08,000
- [door shuts]
- I'm gonna help her.
83
00:04:12,867 --> 00:04:15,000
♪ Well you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪
84
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,000
♪ That the end will no doubt
justify the means ♪
85
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,934
♪ You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪
86
00:04:18,934 --> 00:04:20,767
♪ Yes please ♪
87
00:04:20,767 --> 00:04:22,500
♪ But you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪
88
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,500
♪ When you write a report
on a book you never read ♪
89
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:27,100
♪ With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪
90
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,567
♪ That's what I said ♪
91
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:31,800
♪ Everything is
not what it seems ♪
92
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,600
♪ When you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams ♪
93
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,400
♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪
94
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:43,400
♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪
95
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:47,000
♪ Everything is
not what it seems ♪
96
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:51,100
♪ When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪
97
00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:54,834
♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪
98
00:04:54,834 --> 00:04:59,000
♪ Because everything
is not... ♪
99
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,200
♪ What it seems ♪♪
100
00:05:04,367 --> 00:05:07,233
Thanks to Juliet, I have
seen the error of our ways.
101
00:05:07,233 --> 00:05:08,834
We are throwing out
all of this junk food
102
00:05:08,834 --> 00:05:10,300
and we're never
lookin' back.
103
00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,000
Wait, Mom.
You can't do that.
104
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,734
Of course I can,
sweetie. I'm your mom.
105
00:05:13,734 --> 00:05:15,700
I can do
whatever I want.
106
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,734
Well, then I'm out.
107
00:05:18,734 --> 00:05:20,467
I was this close
108
00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:23,200
to eating meals with you
guys out of convenience,
109
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,400
but you, mother,
just put a stop to that.
110
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,800
So thank you for ruining
our family! [sobs]
111
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,600
[laughing]
I'm just kidding.
112
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,000
[Alex sighs]
113
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,000
But seriously, I'm not
gonna eat with you guys.
114
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,467
That... that's just so good.
115
00:05:38,767 --> 00:05:41,800
Hi, Juliet. Guess
what's in this bag.
116
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,000
Nothing but junk food. I could
smell it from a mile away.
117
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,867
Vampire sense of smell.
Hey, is Justin around?
118
00:05:47,867 --> 00:05:50,500
[sniffs] Oh,
he's upstairs.
119
00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:56,400
Look at you. Cloudy day so
you're out without an umbrella.
120
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,567
Excuse me?
121
00:05:57,567 --> 00:06:00,133
[whispering] I know
you're a vampire.
122
00:06:00,133 --> 00:06:02,467
I'm Harper. And I just
want to let you know
123
00:06:02,467 --> 00:06:04,100
that there are
no hard feelings.
124
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:05,934
Hard feelings? About what?
125
00:06:05,934 --> 00:06:08,100
Oh, Justin didn't
tell you? [scoffs]
126
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:11,600
That is just like him, trying to
spare other people's feelings.
127
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,100
He and I have had an on-and-off
relationship for years.
128
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,800
We're off now, which is why
you guys are on. So I'm cool.
129
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,200
Whoa, whoa! What's
with the garlic?
130
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,900
We were just having
a conversation.
131
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:26,300
Sorry. I just wasn't sure how
this whole thing was gonna go.
132
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,300
So you made a
garlic necklace.
133
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:30,734
No, I actually had it.
134
00:06:30,734 --> 00:06:32,934
It's for this pasta outfit
that I'm working on.
135
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:36,967
Oh, you're the
food-for-clothes girl.
136
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:40,900
Yeah, Justin has
talked about you.
137
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,567
Yes!
138
00:06:51,967 --> 00:06:54,300
So this is
our new garden,
139
00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:57,000
where we'll be growing all
sorts of exciting vegetables,
140
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,667
including broccoli, which they
say has near magical qualities.
141
00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:03,033
It'll be magical
if I can get it down
142
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:05,000
without a warm
cheese sauce.
143
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:12,700
Hmm. Magical
qualities, huh?
144
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,000
Did you say
something, Max?
145
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,700
Nope.
Didn't say a word.
146
00:07:17,934 --> 00:07:21,700
Hmm.
Magical qualities, huh.
147
00:07:22,867 --> 00:07:25,500
Let's just pretend we didn't
hear it that time.
148
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,834
Don't let this garden
go to waste.
149
00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:34,467
Give all this food
a lot more taste.
150
00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:39,100
Well, that was unexpected.
151
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,000
Man, that Pilates class
was great.
152
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,367
I've never felt more physically
or emotionally centered
153
00:07:53,367 --> 00:07:54,500
in all of my life.
154
00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:57,233
Hey Alex, would you
like to join us?
155
00:07:57,233 --> 00:07:58,800
It'd really help
strengthen your core.
156
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,600
Oh, no thanks. I like my core
loose and in front of the TV.
157
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:19,300
Uh... Dad, aren't those
shorts a little tight?
158
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,834
They're looser than I
thought they'd be.
159
00:08:27,567 --> 00:08:31,467
Oh! Oh, my gosh.
What is going on?
160
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:34,400
A total aerobic workout.
That's what's going on.
161
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,600
The perfect complement
to healthy eating.
162
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,000
- Dad, you're OK with this?
- Yeah, of course.
163
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,100
What's not to be OK with?
It's a great idea.
164
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,133
Let's start
stretching, Jerry.
165
00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:46,867
Another great idea.
166
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:51,033
I just...
167
00:08:51,033 --> 00:08:52,667
Trying to...
168
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,734
Oh!
169
00:08:56,834 --> 00:08:59,300
Wha...? I give up
eating with you people,
170
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:00,834
and now you're
making it impossible
171
00:09:00,834 --> 00:09:03,934
for me to watch television
in my own home?
172
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:06,133
I'm so desperate, I'm thinking
about going to Harper's house.
173
00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:12,600
[singsong]
Hum de dum de dum.
174
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,400
- What are you doing?
- What? Nothing.
175
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,467
[clears throat]
Why do you ask?
176
00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:20,600
Because it looks like
you're humming suspiciously
177
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:21,934
to look casual.
178
00:09:21,934 --> 00:09:24,867
That's exactly
what I was doing.
179
00:09:24,867 --> 00:09:27,200
Now, let's see what
you're really up to.
180
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,000
[yelps] Oh!
181
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:37,000
Max! What did you do?
182
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,033
[Max] Umm...
183
00:09:39,033 --> 00:09:41,834
Well, I just wanted
to use magic
184
00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:43,400
to make the vegetables
taste better,
185
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,500
but I've made
a giant pumpkin.
186
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,100
I'm going to live in it.
187
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:54,834
First, I need to carve a
door in the side of it.
188
00:09:57,967 --> 00:10:00,233
Max, that's a spoon.
189
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,133
I know
what it's called.
190
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,767
[dinging rhythmically]
191
00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:18,100
Oh.
192
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:22,800
Alex Russo and friend.
What a pleasant surprise.
193
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,867
What can I
get for you?
194
00:10:24,867 --> 00:10:27,400
Your daughter
out of my house.
195
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,400
She's made it impossible for
me to eat anything unhealthy.
196
00:10:32,567 --> 00:10:34,800
You know, with all the time
Juliet's been spending
197
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,300
with your brother, we could
use an extra hand around here.
198
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,400
What would you say
to a part-time job
199
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,567
here at the
Late Nite Bite?
200
00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:47,567
A job? Well, doesn't sound
like something I'd do,
201
00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:51,767
but it would get me out of
Family Exercise Night.
202
00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:55,300
Look at you.
So clever and cunning.
203
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:57,500
Sometimes we wish
Juliet had more of that.
204
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,600
Yeah, in a lot of ways,
205
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,467
you're probably more
like a vampire than she is.
206
00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:04,033
Oh, thank you.
207
00:11:05,467 --> 00:11:09,033
So it's settled. You'll both
start working here immediately.
208
00:11:09,033 --> 00:11:12,033
Me, too? Yes!
209
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,233
You know, we find
Juliet's health kicks
210
00:11:16,233 --> 00:11:17,834
rather irritating, too.
211
00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:20,600
Really? I thought all vampires
were health conscious.
212
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,600
No, it's mainly just
the younger generation.
213
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,800
They sometimes even try to
get humans to eat better
214
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,600
so they'll have healthier
blood to suck. [chuckles]
215
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,734
They're very
fanatical about it.
216
00:11:32,934 --> 00:11:34,367
What did you just say?
217
00:11:34,367 --> 00:11:36,567
I said they're
fanatical about it.
218
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:38,500
No, before that.
219
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:41,400
I said it's mainly
the younger generation.
220
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,900
Yes, but after that.
221
00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:47,400
Oh, I think she's talking about
the part where you mentioned
222
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,000
how younger vampires
try to get humans healthier
223
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,300
before drinking
their delicious blood.
224
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:56,300
That's the one.
OK, um...
225
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,667
Well, excuse me, just...
226
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:04,400
[Alex bangs head] Oh!
You've got to be kidding me.
227
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,600
But her shift just started.
228
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:09,133
I'll cover her shift.
I knew how this was gonna go.
229
00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:10,834
I just didn't think
it would happen so soon.
230
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,400
Max?
231
00:12:28,767 --> 00:12:31,000
There's some mail
here for ya.
232
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,233
[Max] Hold on.
233
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,233
This is my mail slot.
234
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,867
Yeah, I get it.
235
00:12:49,867 --> 00:12:51,000
I hope you're not jealous
236
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,900
that I moved out of the
house before you did.
237
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:58,867
Tell Mommy and Daddy
I said, "Hi." Loser.
238
00:13:01,467 --> 00:13:03,500
OK. I'll tell 'em.
239
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,667
Mom, Dad. The kid living
in the jack-o'-lantern
240
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,767
thinks I'm the loser.
241
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,834
Justin, uh, let's talk
about Juliet.
242
00:13:15,834 --> 00:13:18,600
Isn't she the greatest?
I could talk about her all day.
243
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,400
Yes, she's cute, and she's
looking past your jungle toes,
244
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,200
and we're all really
excited for you, but look...
245
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,100
She wants to
drink your blood.
246
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,867
What are you
talking about?
247
00:13:27,867 --> 00:13:30,100
I got a job over at
the Late Nite Bite,
248
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,300
and while I was there I
found out that young vampires
249
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:35,000
like to feed on the healthiest
human blood they can find.
250
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,934
I can't believe it.
251
00:13:38,934 --> 00:13:40,667
You got a job?
252
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,867
- I know, it's weird, huh?
- Totally. Up top!
253
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,300
No! Stop.
254
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,000
I think Juliet is trying
to get you healthy
255
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000
so she can
drink your blood.
256
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,600
Come on, Alex. Juliet's
a vampire with a soul,
257
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,967
so she has a conscience.
258
00:13:55,967 --> 00:13:58,567
That's why she volunteers
at blood banks on the weekends.
259
00:13:58,567 --> 00:14:00,600
Keep talkin'.
You're almost there.
260
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,400
And I bet you think it's
weird that she salivates
261
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:05,033
uncontrollably around me when
I wear v-neck t-shirts, too.
262
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:07,233
On to sports.
263
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:10,700
[crowd cheering on TV]
264
00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:13,300
Oh, my gosh! My girlfriend's
gonna suck my blood.
265
00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:18,367
Well, look at that,
you stuck the landing.
266
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,867
Justin.
267
00:14:22,867 --> 00:14:24,467
Juliet!
268
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,367
Vampire speed.
Forgot about that.
269
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:32,500
Hey, why are you wearing a
scarf? It's like 75 degrees out.
270
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,734
I'm not wearing a scarf.
271
00:14:34,734 --> 00:14:38,567
Oh, you mean this?
OK, I'm wearing a scarf.
272
00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:41,100
Why are you
acting so weird?
273
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:44,000
You probably
have heat stroke.
274
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,767
Let's get that
scarf off.
275
00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:51,033
[yelps]
276
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,200
Hey, so, guess what?
277
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,300
I woke up this evening and
my fangs had come in. Look.
278
00:14:59,467 --> 00:15:01,934
Stay back!
279
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:05,400
Keep your filthy fangs away
from my perfect, succulent neck!
280
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,600
- Justin! What are you doing?
- Trying to save my life.
281
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,233
Alex told me you're
trying to get me healthy
282
00:15:10,233 --> 00:15:12,100
just so you can
drink my blood.
283
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:14,300
What? No, you're
my boyfriend.
284
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:15,934
I would never do
anything like that.
285
00:15:15,934 --> 00:15:17,467
I know,
but Alex said...
286
00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:19,467
Aren't you always saying
your sister's up to no good?
287
00:15:19,467 --> 00:15:21,600
Why would you
believe her?
288
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,667
It's a complicated relationship
we have together.
289
00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:28,100
- [stutters, laughs]
- [garlic thumps]
290
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:31,300
I'm sorry, I should've known
better than to listen to Alex.
291
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,000
Just 'cause she's
working for your parents,
292
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,500
she thinks she's like
some expert on vampires.
293
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,867
She's working
for my parents?
294
00:15:36,867 --> 00:15:38,834
Yeah, she's over
there now with Harper.
295
00:15:38,834 --> 00:15:41,100
Oh, my gosh. There's no
easy way to say this,
296
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:43,200
so I'm just gonna
come right out with it.
297
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,467
OK.
298
00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:46,500
My parents might be
planning to drink their blood.
299
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,233
I love you, too. I...
300
00:15:50,934 --> 00:15:53,000
You didn't say what
I thought you were...
301
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,000
Come on! Let's go
tell your parents!
302
00:15:55,767 --> 00:15:58,400
Mom, Dad...
303
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,367
Juliet said
she loved me.
304
00:16:01,734 --> 00:16:04,567
Well, she didn't, but
I thought she was going to.
305
00:16:04,567 --> 00:16:06,800
Justin.
Blood drinking.
306
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,600
And she didn't freak
out when I said it.
307
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,834
- Aww.
- Thank you, Mom.
308
00:16:10,834 --> 00:16:12,834
Alex.
Harper. Danger.
309
00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:15,767
This is an important
milestone in out relationship.
310
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:18,033
My parents are about to drink
Alex and Harper's blood.
311
00:16:18,033 --> 00:16:19,133
- Oh!
- What?
312
00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:22,400
Thank you. Someone
who understands danger.
313
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,467
OK, now that
they know that,
314
00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:26,467
can we get back to
talking about us?
315
00:16:26,467 --> 00:16:28,800
We'll talk about it
on the way. Come on.
316
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,100
Did the
satellite guy come?
317
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:34,500
I gotta tell him where
to put the dish.
318
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:36,500
Max, we are in the
middle of something, here.
319
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,033
Your sister and Harper are
about to be bitten by vampires.
320
00:16:39,033 --> 00:16:41,400
Cool! That's even better
than the satellite.
321
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,200
Come on. Let's
get over there.
322
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:47,400
Oh, my gosh. What if we only
have time to save one?
323
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,500
Alex is our daughter.
324
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:53,000
But Harper has so much
more potential.
325
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,900
We both know
it'd be Harper
326
00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:56,600
who'd take care
of us in our old age.
327
00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,400
We'll talk about
it on our way.
328
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,600
All right...
329
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,300
Since it's
between rushes,
330
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:11,200
why don't we take your
photos for your company IDs.
331
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,900
But there's only
two employees.
332
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,467
It's a state law thing.
Just take a picture, will ya?
333
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:20,934
I'm sorry. I'm just a
tad hungry, that's all.
334
00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:23,700
Alex, you first. Mmm?
335
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,600
OK, good.
336
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:30,800
Just tilt your
head a little.
337
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,467
[man] More.
338
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,233
More...
339
00:17:35,233 --> 00:17:36,934
[growling] More.
340
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,500
Uh... This is a little
uncomfortable.
341
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,600
But it makes
for a good picture.
342
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:47,367
Chin out. Chin out.
Really stretch it.
343
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,300
Now, Cindy, why don't
you go over there
344
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:50,967
and help her with
her head position?
345
00:17:50,967 --> 00:17:52,867
But it's Alex's
employee ID.
346
00:17:52,867 --> 00:17:54,900
Oh, relax.
Cindy's a vampire.
347
00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:56,834
She's not going to show up
in the picture. [chuckles]
348
00:17:56,834 --> 00:17:58,834
Come on, Cindy.
349
00:17:58,834 --> 00:18:01,367
Actually, I didn't know
I was going first.
350
00:18:01,367 --> 00:18:05,133
I thought I was "taking
a picture" with, uh...
351
00:18:06,367 --> 00:18:08,300
...hmmm, Harper.
[chuckles]
352
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,900
Uh, Heh-heh. N-n-no, I
don't think we decided that.
353
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:15,033
Yes, we did. You were going to
"take a picture" with Alex,
354
00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:18,300
who is, frankly,
slightly more bitter.
355
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:22,000
Would somebody take my picture?
I'm cramping up over here.
356
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,133
- [muttering]
- All right, fine.
357
00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:28,100
Alex! Harper!
358
00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:29,667
What are you guys
doing here?
359
00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:32,367
I'm in the middle
of getting my company ID.
360
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:37,500
Juliet, I kind of fibbed
about me and Justin.
361
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,133
- You know what? That can wait.
- Why?
362
00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:41,367
Because those vampires are
about to suck your blood.
363
00:18:41,367 --> 00:18:42,500
What?!
364
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:46,233
You're right, we can just
talk about it later.
365
00:18:46,233 --> 00:18:47,767
Is this true, Cindy?
366
00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:50,367
Yeah well, kind of,
I mean...
367
00:18:50,367 --> 00:18:53,000
It's not so bad. It's
just like a mosquito bite.
368
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,867
And then all your
blood is gone.
369
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:58,500
Mom, Dad, you said you weren't
gonna do this anymore.
370
00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:00,200
Are we gonna
have to move again?
371
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,500
I know this
embarrasses you,
372
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:04,600
but unfortunately, it's
who we are. We're vampires.
373
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,400
We can't all have the incredible
self-control that you have.
374
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,100
Wait a minute. So you two were
planning this the whole time?
375
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,667
Unbelievable.
376
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:15,500
Well, maybe this goes
without saying, but I quit.
377
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:22,133
I, uh, kinda need the job,
so I'm gonna take my chances.
378
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:23,834
You know what?
379
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:26,500
I haven't eaten anything in the
six months we've been here.
380
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:29,133
And maybe opening a sandwich
shop four doors down
381
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,400
from another sandwich shop
wasn't such a good idea,
382
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,300
so I'm cool with drinking some
blood and movin' to Phoenix.
383
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,300
- [pipe clanks]
- Mom?
384
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:38,934
- [pipe clanks]
- [Alex] Dad?
385
00:19:38,934 --> 00:19:42,767
Harper! Oh, we've
come to save you!
386
00:19:43,667 --> 00:19:44,867
What about me?
387
00:19:44,867 --> 00:19:48,600
You guys. We're here
to save you guys.
388
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,200
- [pipe clanks]
- Max!
389
00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:55,600
Did they bite her?
Did I miss it?
390
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,400
Who is that boy?
391
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,133
[whimpering]
Get him away from us!
392
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,767
What's going on?
393
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,300
It's like they're afraid
of Max or something.
394
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:06,400
No, it's not Max, it's
his smell. [gagging]
395
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,600
[chuckles]
Believe it or not,
396
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,000
this isn't even
one of his worst days.
397
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,834
No, it's the pumpkin.
Vampires hate pumpkin.
398
00:20:13,834 --> 00:20:16,867
More than garlic. That's why
people originally put...
399
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:19,300
...pumpkins outside
their house on Halloween,
400
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,934
to keep away
the vampires.
401
00:20:20,934 --> 00:20:22,800
Please make it stop!
402
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:27,500
Just get that awful,
awful boy away from us!
403
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:30,100
Not until you...
404
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:33,600
Not until you apologize for
almost biting my daughter's neck
405
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,500
and turning her into a
vampire for all eternity.
406
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:38,900
All right, all right.
We're sorry.
407
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:42,300
What if we smooth it over
with a little bit of ice cream?
408
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:46,400
Really? You were just about to
turn our daughter into a vampire
409
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:49,767
and you think you can just
smooth it over with ice cream?
410
00:20:49,767 --> 00:20:51,300
So you don't want
the ice cream?
411
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:53,467
- No, we want the ice cream.
- Jerry!
412
00:20:53,467 --> 00:20:58,667
Um... and I think we need
more of an apology.
413
00:21:00,066 --> 00:21:01,834
Unlimited toppings?
414
00:21:01,834 --> 00:21:04,467
I accept your apology.
I'll take mine in a cup.
415
00:21:06,033 --> 00:21:08,567
Dad, they were just about
to drink our blood.
416
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:11,500
That's right.
This is unacceptable.
417
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:15,367
Harper was gonna be the one to
take care of us in our old age.
418
00:21:15,367 --> 00:21:17,133
[whispering] Yes!
419
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,300
Alright. I'll
make dinner, too.
420
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:23,600
Who's up for some
really rare steaks?
421
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:30,033
Hey, Pumpkin Boy.
[whistles] Go take a shower.
422
00:21:30,033 --> 00:21:32,967
And hurry back
if you want a steak.
423
00:21:32,967 --> 00:21:35,000
OK, listen guys,
we start out with salad.
424
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,667
No butter, no fries,
and water instead of soda.
425
00:21:37,667 --> 00:21:40,300
Would somebody
bite her?
426
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,500
You're totally
checking out my neck.
427
00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:53,400
No, I'm not.
I had a big breakfast.
428
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,033
- You are so cute.
- No, you are.
429
00:21:56,033 --> 00:21:57,567
Nose kiss!
430
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,834
Ugh. We are
trying to enjoy
431
00:22:02,834 --> 00:22:06,300
about a ton of pumpkin pie
over here, people.
432
00:22:08,567 --> 00:22:10,834
You know, we're gonna have to
eat this whole thing,
433
00:22:10,834 --> 00:22:12,700
because it's not gonna
fit in the fridge.
434
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,400
Can you hand me
that big spoon?
435
00:22:18,033 --> 00:22:19,567
Jerry, that's
a shovel.
436
00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:23,567
I know what it's called.
31051
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