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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,300
Where is everybody?
2
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:05,400
This is the slowest
dinner rush we've ever had.
3
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,000
Ooh, the city must
have taken down
4
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,400
your "Last Sandwich
for 40 Miles" sign.
5
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,400
Oh! This sandwich
is amazing.
6
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:15,967
It's a pesto mayonnaise
with smoked turkey
7
00:00:15,967 --> 00:00:17,867
and a fancy cheese
I've never heard of.
8
00:00:17,867 --> 00:00:21,133
I know it's fancy,
because it's not spray on.
9
00:00:21,133 --> 00:00:23,300
Where did you get that?
10
00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:25,967
At the new place down the
street, The Late Nite Bite.
11
00:00:25,967 --> 00:00:28,100
It's super close.
We can go there all the time.
12
00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:30,834
The only problem is
it's super packed.
13
00:00:31,767 --> 00:00:33,600
Not like this place.
[scoffs]
14
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:39,400
There's another sandwich shop
on Waverly Place? Competition?
15
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,734
There's no competition.
Let me try that.
16
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:50,133
Mmm. Mmm.
There's no competition.
17
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,367
Jerry, maybe we should send
somebody down there
18
00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:53,900
to check it out, huh?
19
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:56,834
I'll go.
20
00:00:56,834 --> 00:01:01,300
No, no, no. I'll go.
I need a new sandwich, anyway.
21
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,834
We only send you
on missions of destruction.
22
00:01:03,834 --> 00:01:07,967
For research and surveillance,
Justin's our guy.
23
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,000
OK. I've got
just the decoy.
24
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,400
I'll speak with an
Australian accent.
25
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,300
"G'day, mate.
I'd like to try
26
00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:19,000
one of your shrimp on the barbie
sandy-wiches... mate."
27
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,033
Hmm?
28
00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:24,667
No, that's not an
Australian accent.
29
00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:28,800
I'm a master of voices.
Listen.
30
00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:36,000
"I'd like to try your
shrimp on the barbie
sandy-wich...
31
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,667
...mate."
32
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:43,200
That's not an accent. That's
your lame Jim Carrey impression.
33
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,500
Yeah, but you knew
who it was.
34
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,233
It's gonna be in my
one-man show when school starts.
35
00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:52,767
I'm gonna work on my
impressions all summer.
36
00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:54,900
All summer long, huh?
37
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:58,033
Oh, I got one.
OK. Um...
38
00:01:58,033 --> 00:02:02,300
All summer with no Max
makes Alex a happy girl.
39
00:02:03,734 --> 00:02:05,367
[whispering] Alex Russo.
40
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,667
♪ Well you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪
41
00:02:09,667 --> 00:02:11,600
♪ And the end will no doubt
justify the means ♪
42
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,567
♪ You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪
43
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,400
♪ Yes please ♪
44
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,200
♪ But you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪
45
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,100
♪ When you write a report
on a book you never read ♪
46
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,767
♪ With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪
47
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,200
♪ That's what I said ♪
48
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,500
♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪
49
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:30,300
♪ When you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams ♪
50
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:34,133
♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪
51
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:38,000
♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪
52
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,734
♪ Everything is
not what it seems ♪
53
00:02:41,734 --> 00:02:45,834
♪ When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪
54
00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:49,500
♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪
55
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:52,300
♪ Because everything is not ♪
56
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:56,300
♪ What it seems ♪♪
57
00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:09,834
As expected,
the place is very busy.
58
00:03:11,033 --> 00:03:12,567
Aha!
59
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:16,200
They're open 24 hours.
60
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,900
I don't know
why I said "Aha."
61
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:24,200
Oh! There's
one of their menus.
62
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,767
You know there are
take-out menus.
63
00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:34,200
If you want a copy,
the trash can out front
64
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,734
probably has 20 of them.
65
00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:39,767
[bad accent] I take
photographs of menus.
66
00:03:41,467 --> 00:03:46,934
I'm an artist.
An Australian menu artist.
67
00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:50,734
Love your variety
of sandy-wiches.
68
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,900
I was so on board with
the whole Australian thing
69
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,000
until you said,
"sandy-wiches."
70
00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,233
[fake laugh]
They don't say that?
71
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,000
I'm... I'm sorry.
72
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,033
Don't be sorry.
I like fake accents.
73
00:04:07,033 --> 00:04:11,467
[chuckles] Oh. Um...
I'm Justin.
74
00:04:11,467 --> 00:04:14,000
I'm Juliet.
75
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,200
Sorry.
76
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,367
Want to hear
about our special?
77
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:21,200
I think I'm looking at it.
78
00:04:22,734 --> 00:04:24,767
Oh, was that smooth?
79
00:04:25,834 --> 00:04:28,000
You kinda ruined it by
talking about it.
80
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,200
You're still cute, though.
81
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:36,033
Juliet, you didn't tell me
we had a special visitor.
82
00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:40,667
Pardon me.
Aren't you the young man who
works at Waverly Sub Station?
83
00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:44,100
Oh, I got a sandwich there
last week.
84
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:47,500
Yeah, I was on
a rather bland diet
85
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,500
and you guys really
got me through it.
86
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:52,300
- Thank you.
- I'm Justin Russo.
87
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:55,400
- Oh.
- And...
88
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,100
Lovely dress.
89
00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:01,000
I've always thought people
should get dressed up
90
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,367
to make sandwiches.
91
00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:05,600
Out of respect for
the profession...
92
00:05:06,934 --> 00:05:09,500
...of sandwich making.
93
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:13,400
Ooh. Insincere compliments.
94
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:18,367
[chuckling] Well,
I see the game is afoot.
95
00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:22,200
Juliet, this boy is here
to spy on our establishment.
96
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,767
He's not spying, Daddy.
He's very nice.
97
00:05:25,767 --> 00:05:28,767
He was just videotaping
our menu for his...
98
00:05:28,767 --> 00:05:31,967
You know, things are not
looking good for you.
99
00:05:31,967 --> 00:05:34,400
I'm afraid, Justin Russo,
100
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,567
that I'm going to
have to ask you to leave.
101
00:05:36,567 --> 00:05:39,600
If you don't, the consequences
will be most horrible
102
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,600
and permanent!
103
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:45,100
Oh, honey, what did we say
about the hand gestures?
104
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,934
Not in the restaurant.
105
00:05:46,934 --> 00:05:49,200
There you go.
106
00:05:51,667 --> 00:05:54,000
Here, take this.
107
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,100
But this has someone's
phone number on it.
108
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:59,934
Yeah. It's that cute girl
who works at Late Nite Bite.
109
00:05:59,934 --> 00:06:03,867
Oh. I like her.
110
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,600
The right side of the take-out
menu lists the specials.
111
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,233
Fangs-giving Turkey plate.
112
00:06:14,233 --> 00:06:16,300
The Count of Monte Cristo
Sandwich...
113
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:20,967
on... "garlic style" bread.
114
00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:25,767
Hold up. "Garlic style?"
"Open all night?"
115
00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:29,934
"Count?" "Fangs?"
They're vampires!
116
00:06:31,734 --> 00:06:34,033
The Van Heusens are vampires?
117
00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:37,600
That's why they had fangs.
118
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,834
Thought it was just a theme.
119
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,734
[bad accent] We've got
a vampire war on our hands.
120
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:48,100
Hasta la vista,baby!
121
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,300
That was the Terminator!
122
00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:55,400
All right, he's gone.
We should pack up and move.
123
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,900
All right.
So they're vampires?
124
00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:06,667
It doesn't mean we can't
beat them at their own game.
125
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:10,567
What do they got?
A castle dungeon theme?
126
00:07:10,567 --> 00:07:13,200
We've got a
subway station theme.
127
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,700
All we have to do
is make people feel
128
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:18,300
like they're really in a
New York City subway station
129
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:19,567
when they come in here.
130
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:22,000
You know, complete
the experience for them.
131
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,133
I'll just write that down
on the white board
and make it official.
132
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,734
All right.
133
00:07:25,734 --> 00:07:29,767
This could be the worst
family meeting ever.
134
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,667
No. No. It's coming together.
135
00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:37,100
Late Nite Bite, you don't know
what bear you just poked.
136
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,500
- I'm the bear.
- Oh.
137
00:07:45,233 --> 00:07:47,867
- [sighs]
- Alex, I need to speak to you.
138
00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:51,400
I've got a date
with Juliet Van Heusen
139
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,500
and I need your help
sneaking around Mom and Dad.
140
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,667
Well, you came
to the right place.
141
00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:57,567
You don't want to be caught
dating the competition.
142
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,400
- What do I do?
- Use magic.
143
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,100
- That's it?
- Would you have thought of it?
144
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,667
- Nope.
- OK, then.
145
00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:04,600
All right, well,
If there's nothing else,
146
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,233
I've got to get
started on my plan
147
00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:08,600
for getting Max and
those annoying impressions
148
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,300
out of the house
for the summer.
149
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:12,000
"I'll be back."
150
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,867
No, you won't, Max.
No, you won't.
151
00:08:22,834 --> 00:08:27,800
[Jerry's voice over PA]
Waverly Sub Station.
Next stop, delicious.
152
00:08:34,233 --> 00:08:37,734
OK, and here we are.
153
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,400
Can we eat now?
154
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:43,400
Not yet, sir. First a little
subway entertainment.
155
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,467
Harper, you're on.
156
00:08:44,467 --> 00:08:46,867
And a one, two three...
157
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,367
So Romeo,
158
00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:55,233
did you figure out how you're
using magic to date Juliet?
159
00:08:55,233 --> 00:08:58,233
Yep. I added five minutes
to the break schedule.
160
00:08:58,233 --> 00:09:01,133
Now when we date, it'll be
for 25 minutes at a time.
161
00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:07,700
You used magic to do this...?
162
00:09:16,467 --> 00:09:21,100
Justin, you could have used
magic to... to stop time,
163
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,800
freeze Mom and Dad
so they can't find you,
164
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:27,000
create an alternate universe
where you and Juliet can date
165
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,000
for a year, but it'd only
be a minute of our time.
166
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,500
Something big and magical.
167
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:36,500
I also used it
to grow two inches.
168
00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:41,033
You are a wiz-idiot.
169
00:09:41,033 --> 00:09:42,567
You know what?
170
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,934
You use magic your way,
I'm gonna use it my way.
171
00:09:44,934 --> 00:09:47,133
[scoffs] Fine, I will.
172
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,734
There.
173
00:09:50,734 --> 00:09:53,800
Now you're two inches shorter,
just like you used to be.
174
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,100
What's up, shorty?
175
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:06,000
And that's the definition
of the word, "definition."
176
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,133
[laughing] Wait...
177
00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:11,367
What would be the definition
of the word, "word?"
178
00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:15,300
Where have you been
all my life?
179
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:19,500
If I told you, you probably
wouldn't believe me.
180
00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:25,500
Um, Juliet, I, uh...
I know you're a vampire.
181
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,734
OK, so you probably
would believe me.
182
00:10:28,734 --> 00:10:33,133
And while we're on the subject,
I know you're a wizard.
183
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,133
I can tell by your scent.
184
00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:39,233
Sorry...
I've been slicing ham.
185
00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:45,567
No. No, no, your wizard scent.
Part brick, part pine needle.
186
00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:47,967
Vampires have a really
strong sense of smell.
187
00:10:47,967 --> 00:10:50,800
Stronger than werewolves,
but people don't want
to get past the fangs
188
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,867
and the blood drinking
to learn the specifics.
189
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:58,500
You know, you're not how
I expected vampires to be.
190
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:02,100
Well, that's because
my parents wanted me
191
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:04,133
to fit in better
and gave me a soul.
192
00:11:04,133 --> 00:11:05,967
I have feelings.
193
00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:07,900
And what do your
feelings tell you?
194
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,200
That we should
do this again.
195
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,867
[laughs]
196
00:11:11,867 --> 00:11:14,934
But... [sighs]
Your parents don't like me.
197
00:11:14,934 --> 00:11:18,033
And my parents wouldn't like it
if I was going out with
a competitor's daughter.
198
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:21,500
You know what? I'm sorry.
I don't care what Mommy and Dad
have to say about this.
199
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,600
I am going to tell them
about you.
200
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,233
You know what? I'm going
to tell my parents, too.
201
00:11:27,233 --> 00:11:31,000
Then we can have a date that
lasts longer than my 25-minute
break from work.
202
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,500
It was fun. I've never gone
to the movies
203
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:36,400
just to see the coming
attractions before.
204
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,567
Although we could have gotten
a smaller popcorn.
205
00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:42,500
Hey, the fun part was you.
206
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,800
[sighs] I don't want
to say goodbye.
207
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,100
Neither do I.
208
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:55,000
OK, how about we count to three,
turn around and walk away.
209
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,900
OK, I gotta go.
210
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,900
I'd hug you, but I don't want
to get my wizard scent on you
211
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,834
before you tell your parents.
212
00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:02,600
Thinking!
213
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:06,300
How about, um,
I give you a mind hug?
214
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:09,934
OK. I'll give you one, too.
215
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,600
Oh... That's nice.
216
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:18,600
Romeo, Juliet, let's wrap it up
with the looky-looks.
217
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,867
Oh, hey, Oprah.
218
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,800
That's not Oprah.
That's Alex.
219
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:27,834
No, that's Oprah. She comes in
and orders the Nosfera-Tuna.
220
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,734
[chuckles] It's hilarious when
they call out "Oprah"
221
00:12:30,734 --> 00:12:33,033
and everybody looks
around and it's just me.
222
00:12:34,233 --> 00:12:35,734
Oh, that's never not funny.
223
00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:41,967
[laughs]
224
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,867
Ah! Harper. You're
getting really good at that.
225
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,133
I am?
226
00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:51,934
No. Of course not. This whole
subway theme is stupid.
227
00:12:54,867 --> 00:12:58,200
Mom, Dad, I've gotta talk to you
about the Van Heusens.
228
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,066
Have you figured out
a way to destroy them
229
00:13:00,066 --> 00:13:02,967
and send them into the
bowels of the Earth?
230
00:13:02,967 --> 00:13:06,667
No, actually. Not all
the Van Heusens are evil.
231
00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:08,500
[Theresa]
The Van Heusens are evil.
232
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,233
And so is anybody
related to them,
233
00:13:10,233 --> 00:13:13,200
friends with them,
or eats at their restaurant.
234
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,867
Now, what did you
want to tell us, honey?
235
00:13:15,867 --> 00:13:19,767
That... uh...
236
00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:23,500
the average temperature of an
igloo is 61 degrees Fahrenheit
237
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:27,200
when there's people in it.
That's ice!
238
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,300
That's nice, sweetie.
Maybe one day you can grow up,
239
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:33,600
and buy an igloo and build
a whole restaurant around it,
240
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,000
just like your father.
241
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000
I am an entrepreneur!
242
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:41,500
Dude! you can't come clean
about Juliet.
243
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:43,767
When they find out,
there's gonna be chaos.
244
00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:45,400
And that's the chaos
I'm going to need
245
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,033
to cover my plan to send
Max away for the summer.
246
00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:52,033
There's this magical,
underwater seahorse ranch
that's all filled up,
247
00:13:52,033 --> 00:13:54,567
but I've got him slowly
moving up that wait list...
248
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,233
[spluttering]
249
00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:59,934
Giddy-up, Max. Giddy-up!
250
00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:05,400
Justin, I told my parents.
251
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,667
Wow, that was quick.
252
00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:10,000
Didn't take long to say,
"I like Justin."
253
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,233
And for them to say,
"What?!"
254
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:13,700
How did your parents
take it?
255
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,100
Yeah, um...
256
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:18,233
I'm gonna need
another day with it.
257
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:20,600
I don't think you're
going to have another day.
258
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,200
You might have another five
seconds to squeeze it in.
259
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,667
What are you
talking about?
260
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,500
We've come to reclaim
our daughter!
261
00:14:35,033 --> 00:14:38,600
- Who are you?
- Alucard Van Heusen.
262
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,700
- And this is my wife, Cindy.
- Hi.
263
00:14:42,834 --> 00:14:45,367
Of all the sneaky tricks to use.
264
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:48,967
Sending your boy over to play
with my Juliet's affections.
265
00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:52,967
That is low,
even for a wizard.
266
00:14:52,967 --> 00:14:56,200
Like six feet in the ground low?
Huh? Huh, vampire?
267
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,734
Honey, you may want
to stay out of this one.
268
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:04,800
Prepare to meet your doom!
269
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,100
Oh, look.
Oprah's here.
270
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,300
Hi, Al. Cindy.
271
00:15:11,834 --> 00:15:13,500
Well, let's cut to it.
272
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,300
Your son needs to stay away
from our daughter.
273
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:16,600
She doesn't know
what she's doing.
274
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,367
You know, her fangs
haven't even come in yet.
275
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,467
You're dating the competition?
276
00:15:22,467 --> 00:15:24,300
Dad, we really
like each other.
277
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:27,934
Oh, I get it.
278
00:15:27,934 --> 00:15:30,934
You sent your daughter here
to make him fall in love
279
00:15:30,934 --> 00:15:35,100
as part of your sick plan...
to destroy us.
280
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,767
How would that destroy us?
281
00:15:37,367 --> 00:15:38,500
[grunts, hisses]
282
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:39,800
They're vampires!
283
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,233
They're handsomer,
they're smarter,
284
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:44,967
they're more cunning
than we are.
285
00:15:44,967 --> 00:15:49,967
They're like...
shaved wolves that can vote.
286
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,300
Daddy, Mom, the moments
I've spent with Justin
287
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,800
have been the best 25
minutes of my life.
288
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,100
Well, those moments
are over. Come on.
289
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:05,000
- [window thumping]
- [bats squeaking]
290
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,567
Daddy.
291
00:16:16,467 --> 00:16:19,500
Smarter than us, huh?
Really?
292
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,400
Oh, my gosh, Justin.
293
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,867
You've got to get over
your 25-minute girlfriend.
294
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,834
You know what I figured out
about myself?
295
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,734
I fall in love fast.
296
00:16:39,734 --> 00:16:42,367
But you know what's different
about this time?
297
00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:44,233
When I'm not with her,
like...
298
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,834
...my heart hurts.
299
00:16:53,934 --> 00:16:55,867
I believe you.
300
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:58,100
I mean, normally you pout
for 30 minutes,
301
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,200
and then I wave an action figure
in front of your face
302
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,834
and you're fine.
303
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,400
Not this time.
304
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,400
This is one crime Captain Jim
Bob Sherwood can't solve.
305
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,500
Oh, my gosh,
please come with me.
306
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,100
OK. Put these on.
307
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:21,734
- Why?
- Because I'm going to help you.
308
00:17:21,734 --> 00:17:23,200
Why?
309
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,600
Because your sadness
grosses me out. OK?
310
00:17:29,934 --> 00:17:33,000
There. Now you and Juliet
can continue to date.
311
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,800
While you have the glasses on,
312
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,233
everybody will see you as a
completely different person.
313
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,600
Oh, but those glasses
are on a loan.
314
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,734
I'm going to need them
back at a moment's notice.
315
00:17:45,734 --> 00:17:47,834
Why?
316
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:50,233
It's a part of my plan
to get rid of Max.
317
00:17:50,233 --> 00:17:52,667
There's this guy coming over
whose kid is number one
318
00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:54,233
on the wait-list
for seahorse camp.
319
00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:56,800
He has to think
I'm camp director.
320
00:17:57,734 --> 00:17:59,667
That didn't make any sense.
321
00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:01,300
That's why I need the glasses,
dude.
322
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:03,767
If those words don't come
out of a grown-up's mouth
323
00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:06,200
we're gonna be stuck with
"the Terminator" all summer.
324
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,700
[choking up]
And I just can't...
325
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:16,300
So there we were, yelling,
"The British are coming!"
326
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:21,000
You were there, in 1776,
during the Revolutionary War?
327
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,767
I thought it was
just Paul Revere.
328
00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:24,867
Yeah, Paul "Check me out
over here" Revere.
329
00:18:24,867 --> 00:18:27,367
That guy was such
an attention hog.
330
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:34,867
Oh! Hey, it's true. Vampires
don't show up in mirrors.
331
00:18:34,867 --> 00:18:38,500
Yeah, doing our hair
is total guesswork.
332
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,834
But hey, I mean...
333
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:43,400
- [head clangs]
- Oh, God!
334
00:18:48,467 --> 00:18:51,367
Psst! Justin, it's time.
Give me the glasses.
335
00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:52,834
Uh. I'm in the middle
of something.
336
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,000
Sheriff boy's father's here.
It's now or never.
337
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:03,233
[gasps] Justin Russo!
338
00:19:03,233 --> 00:19:06,367
Good luck, you two.
I'm really rooting for you.
339
00:19:06,367 --> 00:19:07,367
[hisses]
340
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:09,934
Juliet, get away from him.
341
00:19:09,934 --> 00:19:11,667
We forbade you to see him.
342
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:14,300
Sorry, sir. I would never do
anything to harm your daughter
343
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:15,967
or your business.
344
00:19:15,967 --> 00:19:18,200
With all due respect,
Mr. and Mrs. Van Heusen,
345
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,600
this restaurant feud is
between you and my parents.
346
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,967
Juliet and I have
nothing to do with it.
347
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:26,300
Please let us be together.
348
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:28,000
- Uh...
- Mmmm...
349
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,967
Uh...
350
00:19:30,967 --> 00:19:34,300
Oh, Come on, Alucard.
351
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:37,233
You're an old
romantic softie.
352
00:19:38,767 --> 00:19:42,934
Remember when we
were young and in love,
like, 1,000 years ago?
353
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:48,600
You can see Juliet
as often as you want.
354
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:53,100
But remember, I am capable
of unleashing my wrath
355
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:55,000
as long as I'm not distracted.
356
00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:00,233
Hey, it's not unlimited sauces.
You get one.
357
00:20:02,033 --> 00:20:04,000
Way to unleash that wrath.
358
00:20:05,133 --> 00:20:07,567
You've inspired me,
Mr. and Mrs. Van Heusen.
359
00:20:07,567 --> 00:20:09,934
I'm sure when my parents see
how happy I am with Juliet
360
00:20:09,934 --> 00:20:11,734
they'll be just as
accepting as you are.
361
00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:15,600
Absolutely not.
362
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,400
What are you thinking?
363
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,300
Those people are trying to
steal our business!
364
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:23,767
The Van Heusens were accepting,
loving and tolerant of us.
365
00:20:23,767 --> 00:20:25,800
And they sleep in coffins!
366
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:30,500
I could have never
seen this coming.
367
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:35,033
Alex, you are officially
the good child in the family.
368
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:38,100
- "Good child?"
- Mm-hm.
369
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,800
You're calling me
the good child?
370
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:45,400
Think about that.
What has Justin done wrong?
371
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,367
He fell in love
with somebody. Big deal.
372
00:20:48,367 --> 00:20:51,000
I'm the one who's been trying
to get Max sent off
373
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,600
to an undersea camp
for the summer.
374
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,000
You're trying to get rid
of your brother?
375
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,300
Yeah, but it didn't
really work out.
376
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:02,400
The, uh, wizard kid's father
actually was a wizard cop.
377
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,700
He recognized my voice
from something else
378
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:06,934
you don't want
to know about.
379
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,900
Look, Daddy, Justin should be
allowed to date Juliet
380
00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:17,100
and you guys should be
focused on punishing me
381
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:20,567
for what I almost did to Max,
and the other thing that I did.
382
00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:25,000
She's right, Jerry.
383
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,000
Our feud with the Van Heusens
has blinded us
384
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,200
to something a
little more important.
385
00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:34,000
Our son's happiness.
386
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,200
Justin, Juliet...
You guys can date.
387
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,600
[both] Yes! Whoo!
388
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:42,033
- [Juliet] So it's official.
- Not until...
389
00:21:42,033 --> 00:21:43,834
...I write it
on the white board.
390
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,867
Some people might find
that weird,
391
00:21:47,867 --> 00:21:49,934
but I just think
it's charming.
392
00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:51,500
I'll hold the marker cap.
393
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,567
What's going on?
394
00:21:56,567 --> 00:21:58,500
Alex almost sent you away
to an undersea camp
395
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:00,233
where everyone rides seahorses.
396
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:04,400
I would love that!
397
00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:08,000
Oh, Alex, you're really great.
398
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,300
I'm gonna work on an
impression of you all summer.
399
00:22:11,467 --> 00:22:13,467
Max, please.
I'm begging you not to.
400
00:22:13,467 --> 00:22:16,800
"Max, please.
I'm begging you not to."
401
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,900
Please leave me alone.
402
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:20,600
"Please leave me alone."
403
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,100
- Stop it!
- "Stop it!"
404
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:23,867
- Stop!
- "Stop!"
29036
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