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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:05,900 I'm sorry, dude. I'm a little short today. 2 00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:08,300 Can I make you a candle in trade? 3 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:12,133 Oh yeah, sure. As long as you make one of those candles look like a twenty. 4 00:00:12,133 --> 00:00:15,700 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's with the attitude? 5 00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:18,500 If she wanted something rotten, she'd buy your bananas. 6 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,033 Hey, Maggie. I got it. 7 00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:23,300 No, no, Alex. You do too much for me already. 8 00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:27,734 I need to thank you for getting my landlord to lower my rent. 9 00:00:27,734 --> 00:00:31,200 People really underestimate my arm-wrestling skills. 10 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,900 It's all about wrist position and a greasy table. 11 00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:36,667 Here I am, sir, 12 00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,967 paying for fruit from this table 13 00:00:38,967 --> 00:00:42,000 where I found a bunch of cockroaches. 14 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:45,600 Shhhh. 15 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,100 Just pay me half and get out of here, Russo. 16 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:53,767 Right on. Stick it to the Man. 17 00:00:53,767 --> 00:00:55,967 You know I hate cheating people. 18 00:00:55,967 --> 00:00:59,300 Maggie, wait till you taste those mushy apples. 19 00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,367 Believe me, we're not the ones cheating. 20 00:01:01,367 --> 00:01:04,233 Hey, you've got 15 minutes to beat feet to school. 21 00:01:04,233 --> 00:01:09,000 Actually, 14 because you have to give me a hug before you go. 22 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,233 Peace, Alex. 23 00:01:11,233 --> 00:01:12,934 Thank you. 24 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:20,200 I know it sounds weird, 25 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,900 but one of my homework assignments 26 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:24,400 was to carry grocery bags to someone's apartment, 27 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:25,500 and I forgot to do it. 28 00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,734 - Alex, I'll be fine. - It's okay. 29 00:01:27,734 --> 00:01:30,567 All I have to do at school is read the morning announcements. 30 00:01:30,567 --> 00:01:33,000 - Don't you have classes? - Oh, I have classes. 31 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,367 The question is, "Which one of them I'll be going to?" 32 00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:38,934 You know, I love how you stuck it to the Man. 33 00:01:38,934 --> 00:01:40,467 Sock it to 'em! 34 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,000 Oh, yeah! Come on. 35 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,300 [both] Sock it to 'em! Oh, yeah! 36 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:47,300 ♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪ 37 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,200 ♪ That the end will no doubt justify the means ♪ 38 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,467 ♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪ 39 00:01:51,467 --> 00:01:53,033 ♪ Yes, please ♪ 40 00:01:53,033 --> 00:01:54,867 ♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪ 41 00:01:54,867 --> 00:01:56,667 ♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪ 42 00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:59,033 ♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪ 43 00:01:59,033 --> 00:02:00,934 ♪ That's what I said ♪ 44 00:02:00,934 --> 00:02:04,233 ♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪ 45 00:02:04,233 --> 00:02:07,900 ♪ You can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪ 46 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:11,467 ♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪ 47 00:02:11,467 --> 00:02:16,300 ♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪ 48 00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:19,467 ♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪ 49 00:02:19,467 --> 00:02:23,233 ♪ When you can have what you want by the simplest of means ♪ 50 00:02:23,233 --> 00:02:27,100 ♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪ 51 00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:30,967 ♪ Because everything is not ♪ 52 00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:33,467 ♪ What it seems ♪♪ 53 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,767 When you highlight, Max, you don't use a black marker. 54 00:02:42,767 --> 00:02:45,200 - That... makes it disappear. - Oh, my gosh! 55 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,400 Ssh! Dude, that's Jeanette Brocoletti. 56 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,033 Someday I'm going to ask her out. 57 00:02:51,033 --> 00:02:52,500 Why not now? 58 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,700 Well.. Because, I... 59 00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:56,834 I don't know what to say, and... 60 00:02:56,834 --> 00:02:59,000 I think I smell like teriyaki. 61 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,200 Oh! You do. Did you spill on yourself? 62 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:07,567 Let's just say this is not the front of my shirt. 63 00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:09,867 OK, look. Let me give you some advice. 64 00:03:09,867 --> 00:03:11,767 If you want to talk to Jeanette, 65 00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:14,100 all you gotta do is go up to her and make her laugh. 66 00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,500 Girls love guys who can make 'em laugh. 67 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,734 - All right. I'll give that a shot. - Good. 68 00:03:19,734 --> 00:03:21,000 Oh! Wait. 69 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,800 Are you setting me up for something bad? 70 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,700 No. But I should have. 71 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:29,600 It would've been a great joke. I'm too nice. 72 00:03:31,767 --> 00:03:34,200 [laughing] 73 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,000 [pounding] 74 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,400 Oh, hey, Jeanette. 75 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,800 Hey! [chuckles] 76 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,800 Bet you wanna know what I'm laughing about? 77 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,300 Yeah. We all do. That's why they sent me over here. 78 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:50,300 I will tell you. 79 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,600 See that girl over there? 80 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,300 [Max] Her hair looks like spaghetti in a ponytail. 81 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:58,467 And where does she get her clothes, Forever 1985? 82 00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:01,500 Max, that's my best friend. 83 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,800 I'm just gonna go. 84 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,967 Max, it's OK. 85 00:04:07,967 --> 00:04:09,900 Sarah makes fun of me sometimes. 86 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:12,233 Because your eyes are too far apart? 87 00:04:12,767 --> 00:04:13,834 What? 88 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,734 You think my eyes are too far apart? 89 00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,400 No! Not for me. 90 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,567 I wish they were further apart. 91 00:04:20,567 --> 00:04:23,033 Change the subject. [clears throat] 92 00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:26,700 I kinda wanted to ask you out on a date. 93 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,467 Why don't you just ask me? 94 00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:30,000 'Cause I blew it. 95 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,100 Go ahead. 96 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,834 Nah. I'm just gonna wreck it. 97 00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:37,900 Max. 98 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:39,500 I'm giving you a second chance, 99 00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:41,300 because I think you're kind of funny. 100 00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,867 Oh. OK, well... That's fine. 101 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,400 But I don't think it's gonna work. 102 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,667 Uh, Jeanette... 103 00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:52,000 Do you want to go out with me? 104 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,700 Nah. 105 00:04:55,734 --> 00:04:56,734 What? 106 00:04:56,734 --> 00:04:59,000 Just kidding. [giggles] 107 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,967 Give me a call. 108 00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:04,967 Whoa. Jeanette, thank you! 109 00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:06,967 It totally worked, bro. 110 00:05:06,967 --> 00:05:08,600 You were funny and she liked you. 111 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,834 Really? I wasn't even trying to be funny. 112 00:05:11,834 --> 00:05:14,000 I barely knew what was going on. 113 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,300 Believe me, dude, when it comes to girls 114 00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:20,133 that's always the best way. 115 00:05:21,934 --> 00:05:23,500 [cell phone rings] 116 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:27,667 Hello. Alex, where are you? Second period is starting. 117 00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:30,600 Yeah, the hallway's clear. OK. 118 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,834 [Alex] Help me travel on my own. I need to get there through this phone. 119 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,400 Thanks, Harper. 120 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,100 I would've gotten here sooner but I dialed the wrong number. 121 00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,834 There's this really confused guy in India 122 00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:43,734 with my footprint on the side of his face. 123 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,600 Alex, Mr. Laritate's really mad at you 124 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,767 because you flaked out on morning announcements. 125 00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:51,500 He had the kid with the rubber bands on his braces do them. 126 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,567 I'm not sure if he said "Friday is Picture Day" 127 00:05:53,567 --> 00:05:56,900 or "Fried eggs in pickled hay." 128 00:05:56,900 --> 00:06:00,300 It doesn't matter. I'm going to be ready for both. 129 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:03,133 I better get to Geometry. No. English. No. 130 00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:06,100 Government. Oh. Whatever the class is before Mr. Laritate... 131 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,500 Sees you? 132 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,233 Sit by the window in detention. 133 00:06:11,233 --> 00:06:13,400 I'll throw you some CornNuts. 134 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,200 No more detention for you. 135 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,900 I came to that decision when you brought a blow-up mattress 136 00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:25,600 and clock radio that made ocean noises. 137 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,033 To the hoosegow. 138 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,734 I don't know what hoosegow means, 139 00:06:29,734 --> 00:06:32,500 but I'm pretty sure it doesn't mean ice cream stand. 140 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:39,500 Blueberry or apple? 141 00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,667 Apple. 142 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,367 [both] Two marshmallows. 143 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,934 Hey, nice new Navajo blanket. 144 00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:51,500 Thanks, I picked it up at a yard sale. 145 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,767 Oh. It really ties the room together. 146 00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:58,967 You're in here way too often. 147 00:06:58,967 --> 00:07:01,400 Hey, dude, that's your call, not mine. 148 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:05,100 Miss Russo, 149 00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:09,567 I used to fancy myself a little bit of an outlaw like you. 150 00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:11,834 I used to belly up to the soda fountain 151 00:07:11,834 --> 00:07:15,100 and have a glass of all the flavors mixed together. 152 00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:18,200 They called it soda danger. 153 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,200 I called it breakfast. 154 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,767 That all changed when the doctor called it a peptic ulcer. 155 00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:25,400 Do you see where I'm going with this? 156 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,834 No, but I rarely do when we have these talks. 157 00:07:30,734 --> 00:07:32,233 I'm talking about... 158 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,500 ...how skipping morning announcements 159 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:39,900 is the latest in a long line of your selfish acts. 160 00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,900 If it's not putting an "out of order" sign on the girls' bathroom 161 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:44,767 just so you can watch the panic... 162 00:07:44,767 --> 00:07:47,233 [chuckles] That was a good one. 163 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:51,567 Then it's having the library order up your fashion magazines. 164 00:07:51,567 --> 00:07:53,233 Oh, that reminds me. 165 00:07:53,233 --> 00:07:56,467 I need them to renew "Hot Rods and Handbags." 166 00:07:56,467 --> 00:08:00,200 Here's what we're going to do to break this selfish streak. 167 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,400 You're going to join the Happy Helpers club. 168 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,867 Oh, two things I don't like: clubs and helping. 169 00:08:05,867 --> 00:08:08,300 I'm not a fan of happy either. So throw that in, too. 170 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,200 If you don't join, you'll be suspended. 171 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,800 And don't think you can skip it, because I'm the advisor. 172 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,800 Fine. 173 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,567 I'm not going to lie, I still might try. 174 00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:23,000 [Max] I got a date. I got a date. 175 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,600 Dad! I got a date. 176 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,233 Max, I told you. 177 00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:28,500 If a girl comes in and asks if you do take-out, 178 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,867 it doesn't mean she wants to take you out. 179 00:08:30,867 --> 00:08:35,300 No, a real date with Jeanette Brocoletti. 180 00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:37,567 Really? Atta boy. 181 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:39,133 "Atta boy" what? 182 00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:41,900 Our son is about to go on his first date. 183 00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:44,667 No, he isn't. He's only 13. 184 00:08:44,667 --> 00:08:48,000 - Mom. - [Jerry] Come on, Theresa. 185 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,934 I'm a reasonable person. 186 00:08:50,934 --> 00:08:53,600 Your father and I will chaperone the date. OK? 187 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,100 And it has to happen in here. 188 00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:58,934 I don't know, guys. Let me ask Justin. 189 00:08:58,934 --> 00:09:00,667 Justin! 190 00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:02,000 Hey. 191 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,367 Mom and Dad want to chaperone me on my date. 192 00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:06,367 Oh! 193 00:09:06,367 --> 00:09:09,800 Sounds more like a play date. 194 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,200 My expertise in romance got you this far. Let me give you a hand. 195 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,300 Guys. I can chaperone him. 196 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:19,567 Oh, look at my big boy looking after my little boy. 197 00:09:19,567 --> 00:09:20,967 You're taking me out that night. 198 00:09:20,967 --> 00:09:23,100 - Movie in Times Square? - Yeah. 199 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:26,200 We can make fun of tourists who visit New York and eat at chain restaurants? 200 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,367 - [laughs] I love you. - Me too. 201 00:09:31,934 --> 00:09:35,200 OK, Justin, one last favor. 202 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,700 Can you pretend to be the waiter, 203 00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,300 so she doesn't know I'm being chaperoned? 204 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:41,300 Yeah, dude. No problem. I've got a suit that I've been dying to wear 205 00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:45,100 since Grandma made that miraculous recovery. 206 00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,767 Out. 207 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:08,300 Thanks for joining the Happy Helpers Club with me, Harper. 208 00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,667 No problem. I don't want to see you get suspended. 209 00:10:10,667 --> 00:10:14,700 I don't like hearing what teachers say about you when you're not at school. 210 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:18,300 Well, this club might not be so bad. 211 00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:21,200 Yeah, it's not like they have a club cheer or anything. 212 00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,467 Did I just set it up? 213 00:10:24,467 --> 00:10:26,667 I think you did. 214 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,300 Happy Helpers! Happy Helpers! 215 00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:29,700 That's what we are! 216 00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:30,900 Helping people! Helping people! 217 00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:33,033 Helping near and far! Yay! 218 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,934 [cheering] 219 00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,900 OK, Happy Helpers. 220 00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:39,400 Before we start our jamboree, 221 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:44,233 I'd like to welcome Alex Russo and Harper Finkle to our posse. 222 00:10:44,233 --> 00:10:45,300 [all] Club. 223 00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:46,867 Right. Club. 224 00:10:46,867 --> 00:10:48,400 [applauding] 225 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:49,734 [Laritate] Now, let's go over 226 00:10:49,734 --> 00:10:52,934 who participated in this week's community work. 227 00:10:52,934 --> 00:10:55,767 Did anyone throw away a candy wrapper they found? 228 00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:57,934 Good. 229 00:10:57,934 --> 00:11:01,934 Did anyone push an elevator button for someone else? 230 00:11:01,934 --> 00:11:03,800 [Laritate] Good! 231 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,700 Wait. These are the good deeds they do? 232 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,500 That's just stuff they should do every day. 233 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:12,000 I made change for a dollar. 234 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,600 [applauding] 235 00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:18,400 OK. This week we need someone 236 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,000 to close the front door when the bell rings. 237 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,900 Eeny, meeny, miny.. 238 00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,367 Alex. 239 00:11:26,233 --> 00:11:28,767 That's great, Alex. Whenever we do volunteer work, 240 00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:32,734 we get awards and ribbons to put in our Spirit Books. 241 00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:35,700 They're what make us Happy Helpers. 242 00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,200 A ribbon for closing the door? 243 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,800 Harper, you see what's going on? 244 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,667 They don't care about helping people. 245 00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:47,900 They only care about getting credit for doing nothing. I'm out of here. 246 00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:51,800 If anyone wants to close the door behind me and get a ribbon, feel free. 247 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,600 No. 248 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,600 Alex, if you don't stay in this class, you're going to get suspended. 249 00:12:00,667 --> 00:12:03,000 Mr. Laritate, I just gave Alex good advice. 250 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,033 How many ribbons is that worth? 251 00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:11,467 I'll split them with you. 252 00:12:15,934 --> 00:12:20,133 Hey Alex, what's with the bummer face? 253 00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:22,600 The Man come down on you? 254 00:12:23,700 --> 00:12:25,100 Yeah. 255 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,867 The Man said I was being selfish 256 00:12:26,867 --> 00:12:30,200 so he made me join a stupid club to teach me a lesson. 257 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,900 You mean like a commune? 258 00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:34,934 Don't knock it till you've tried it. 259 00:12:34,934 --> 00:12:38,000 No. It's the Happy Helpers Club. 260 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,367 Who are supposed to be all about helping the community 261 00:12:41,367 --> 00:12:43,967 but really they're just all about themselves. 262 00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:46,233 Oh, man. That's bogus. 263 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,834 You are one of the most... 264 00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,033 Oh! 265 00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:51,967 ...unselfish... 266 00:12:51,967 --> 00:12:54,667 ...coolest chicks I know. 267 00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,400 That's the truth, Ruth. 268 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,734 Mm! It's Maggie. 269 00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,200 It's an expression. 270 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,367 Ah! 271 00:13:01,367 --> 00:13:02,400 Respect. 272 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,667 This club does stuff like... 273 00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:08,500 ...telling someone their shoe's untied 274 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,800 and then they call that community service. 275 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,500 Man, I know where you're coming from. 276 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:16,200 Back in '68 I was very into the peace movement. 277 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,934 You know? Marching, talking to people, organizing. 278 00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:23,467 Then one day, I went to a campus peace rally. 279 00:13:23,467 --> 00:13:26,800 Well, these guys weren't into working for peace at all. 280 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:31,033 They were just using the whole scene so they could rebel against their parents. 281 00:13:31,033 --> 00:13:32,367 Blew my mind. 282 00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:34,467 So then you just bailed, right? 283 00:13:34,467 --> 00:13:37,967 Hm? No way, LBJ. 284 00:13:37,967 --> 00:13:39,100 What? 285 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,867 Well, it's an expression. 286 00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:43,934 Respect. 287 00:13:45,734 --> 00:13:49,133 Look, my friends may be puppets of the establishment, 288 00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:52,000 but my cause was righteous. 289 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:56,200 So I grabbed my bullhorn and I spoke the truth. 290 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,834 - Spoke the truth. - Yeah! Right on. 291 00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:03,400 You know, you should try it sometime. 292 00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,500 I can dig it. Thanks. 293 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:13,233 Yeah. Stick it to the Man! 294 00:14:13,233 --> 00:14:15,900 Sock it to 'em! Sock it to 'em! Oh, yeah! 295 00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:18,200 Sock it to 'em! Sock it to 'em! Oh, yeah! 296 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,200 Sock it to 'em! 297 00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:26,200 Excuse me. 298 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:30,800 We have a reservation. Russo, party of two. 299 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,033 Yes, you do. Your table's right over here. 300 00:14:33,033 --> 00:14:36,000 Wow, Max. Pretty impressive, having your own waiter. 301 00:14:37,967 --> 00:14:43,000 That's right, I do have my own waiter. 302 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,200 Is this table all right? 303 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,600 It's the one that I set up with the tablecloth. 304 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,934 I'm OK here. 305 00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:50,600 No. Look, you don't have to be nice to him. 306 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,300 He's my waiter. 307 00:14:54,734 --> 00:14:56,133 We'd like to move over there. 308 00:14:57,767 --> 00:14:59,367 She said she was fine here. 309 00:14:59,367 --> 00:15:01,033 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 310 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,300 Lose the 'tude, waiter dude. 311 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,100 The lady would be more comfortable over there. 312 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,500 Will you excuse me a moment, Jeanette? 313 00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:30,967 - What are you doing? - What are you doing? 314 00:15:30,967 --> 00:15:33,400 I'm being funny in front of my date like you told me to. 315 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,500 You think ordering me around and treating me like this is funny? 316 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:40,000 Yeah, you're pretty mad, so I think it's hilarious. 317 00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:44,200 Jeanette, I am so sorry. 318 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,467 I wonder if our waiter comes with chips, 319 00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:49,000 because he is a dip. 320 00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,967 [Max] Hey, waiter. 321 00:15:51,967 --> 00:15:57,300 Do you think you can handle getting us some water? 322 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:05,500 Ah! 323 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,367 The fizzy type. 324 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,700 Yes. 325 00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:11,734 The lady and I would love the fizzy type. 326 00:16:19,734 --> 00:16:22,000 Is that fizzy enough for you, sir? 327 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,500 [Jeanette laughing] 328 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,834 He is so funny. 329 00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:27,100 And cute. 330 00:16:29,133 --> 00:16:31,934 Jeanette, what do you mean by cute? 331 00:16:31,934 --> 00:16:34,100 Cute like he looks cute? Or... 332 00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:37,367 ...cute like when I put pretzel sticks up my nose and my mom goes: 333 00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:38,967 "Cute." 334 00:16:38,967 --> 00:16:40,400 That sounds funny. 335 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,667 Oh, yeah it is. 336 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,200 Hey, waiter, where are our pretzel sticks? 337 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,200 You had your chance. 338 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,100 Hey! 339 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:58,400 Before you mop that up, let's hear the specials. 340 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,500 [cracks neck] 341 00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,800 For the lady, 342 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,600 I'd recommend losing the boy with the bloody nose in his future 343 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:12,100 and having dinner with someone that can make you laugh, for real. 344 00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:15,300 And for the boy, I'd recommend the dinosaur chicken strips 345 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,800 with a side of wet wipes. 346 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,700 I'll go get you a bib and some crayons. 347 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,867 If you stay inside the lines... 348 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,967 I'll put it on the wall. 349 00:17:28,367 --> 00:17:29,800 Will you excuse me, please? 350 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,967 Pound for pound, you're a clown. 351 00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:42,834 [chuckles] Back to our date. 352 00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:45,900 Let's get this party started. 353 00:17:49,734 --> 00:17:51,667 Is there something in my nose? 354 00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:52,800 [honks] 355 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,033 [honks] 356 00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,400 Oh! 357 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,900 Uh-oh. Justin! 358 00:18:12,734 --> 00:18:16,300 You think this is hilarious, don't you? 359 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,400 Yes. Yes, I do. 360 00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:20,900 [honks] 361 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,133 Yeah. It's pretty funny. 362 00:18:25,133 --> 00:18:26,667 [honks] 363 00:18:28,367 --> 00:18:30,100 You got me. 364 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:33,200 Actually, you got yourself. 365 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,767 I did. 366 00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:37,600 Hello? Are we having a date or not? 367 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,300 Relax, we'll get back to the date in a second. 368 00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:44,300 I guess I had it coming to me. 369 00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:45,934 What were you thinking? 370 00:18:45,934 --> 00:18:50,200 I'm thinking that when I'm mean and insulting that it's funny. 371 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,500 But it might only be me. 372 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,967 - [door opens] - Why don't you ask Jeanette? 373 00:18:56,967 --> 00:18:58,967 [door closes] 374 00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,900 Yeah, it's only me. 375 00:19:05,033 --> 00:19:06,233 Man. 376 00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:08,667 That was my first date and I ruined it. 377 00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:11,400 There will be plenty of other dates, 378 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,100 and you'll find different ways to ruin those too. 379 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:18,600 Hey, I started the dino chicken strips. 380 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,800 - You did? I call the T-rexes. - Of course. 381 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,800 [screams] 382 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,500 I got another ribbon. 383 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,400 [high-pitched laugh] 384 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,600 No more for her. 385 00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:33,867 Alex, where were you? 386 00:19:33,867 --> 00:19:36,300 You missed seeing me get all these ribbons. 387 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,100 Ribbons for what? This is only your second meeting. 388 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,300 This one is for coming to a second meeting. 389 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:48,233 This next award goes to Alex Russo for clapping erasers. 390 00:19:48,233 --> 00:19:51,567 I wasn't clapping erasers. I was trying to hit the clock 391 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,667 to see if I could get it to move forward. 392 00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:56,667 Repairing a stuck clock. Even better. 393 00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:58,033 Come on up and get your ribbon. 394 00:19:58,033 --> 00:20:00,133 - [applauding] - No. Wait. 395 00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:03,033 You want to give me a ribbon for something I didn't even do? 396 00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:05,033 You honestly see nothing wrong with that? 397 00:20:05,033 --> 00:20:06,900 I don't. 398 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:09,900 It's about time I got some appreciation, Mom. 399 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,000 It's stick it to the Man time. 400 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:25,934 I'm sorry, Mr. Laritate. I can't take that ribbon. I didn't do anything. 401 00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:27,867 And even if I had, I still wouldn't take it. 402 00:20:27,867 --> 00:20:30,200 I'll take it. 403 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,400 Oh! Sorry. 404 00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:36,300 I was told I had to join this club or get suspended. 405 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,400 [all gasp] 406 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:41,300 Most of you know me. That's not a shocker. 407 00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:44,600 You think you're helping the community, but you're hardly doing anything. 408 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,500 And you do it for selfish reasons. 409 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:50,133 Now, I know I can be a little selfish too, 410 00:20:50,133 --> 00:20:52,233 because I don't help a lot of people. 411 00:20:52,233 --> 00:20:54,100 But I know when I do. 412 00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:57,667 I do more than this and I don't expect anything in return. 413 00:20:57,667 --> 00:20:59,667 I don't even do it to make myself feel better. 414 00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:01,767 I do it to make the other person feel better. 415 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,600 Wow. 416 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,600 That was a very moving speech... 417 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,967 ...worthy of a ribbon. 418 00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:10,300 No! 419 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:11,300 No. 420 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,100 I don't want a ribbon. 421 00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:15,000 It's either the ribbon or suspension. 422 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,734 That's a lovely ribbon. 423 00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:24,400 There you go, Mr. Laritate. 424 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,500 You're going to look great for 60's Day at school. 425 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:29,000 - Thank you, Alex. - Yeah, she's the best. 426 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,500 You know, she really understands flower power. 427 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,867 Flower power? I don't get it. 428 00:21:34,867 --> 00:21:36,300 It means you're generous, Alex. 429 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:39,367 I don't know why you didn't tell me you were a Happy Helper. 430 00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:42,300 Nope, not a Happy Helper. An unhappy troublemaker 431 00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:44,800 who quietly does good without anyone knowing. 432 00:21:46,133 --> 00:21:47,400 I can dig it. 433 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,233 So I'm not suspended? 434 00:21:50,233 --> 00:21:51,967 Whoa! 435 00:21:51,967 --> 00:21:53,600 You mean you're the Man? 436 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,800 [groans] And I was gonna give you a candle. 437 00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,033 [sighs] 438 00:21:59,033 --> 00:22:00,400 Alex, I'll make you a deal. 439 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,000 I'll suspend the suspension if you'll show more 440 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,133 flower power around school. 441 00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:07,100 And I'll try to get the Happy Helpers 442 00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:09,467 to start calling your club a posse. 443 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:11,867 Deal. 444 00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:18,000 But I'm still gonna have to make fun of your outfit. 445 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,500 I would expect nothing less. 446 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,767 Right on. 447 00:22:22,767 --> 00:22:25,467 Oh, yeah! I can dig it. 30777

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