All language subtitles for Wizards of Waverly Place_S02E16_Future Harper.en.cc

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil) Download
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:04,500 - This is awesome! - Is it, Max? 2 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,900 Is this really what you wanted for your birthday? 3 00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:09,367 [lava gurgling] 4 00:00:09,367 --> 00:00:12,934 If we live, I am so taking my gift card back. 5 00:00:12,934 --> 00:00:17,100 - Guys, paddle faster! - [flames crackling] 6 00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:20,300 We're not gonna make it. We're burning up! 7 00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:24,400 I know. Before we see this volcano blow, turn this lava into snow! 8 00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,700 [all cheering] 9 00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:40,367 So then it went from lava to snow. How insane is that? 10 00:00:40,367 --> 00:00:42,233 So, after we got off the ski slope... 11 00:00:42,233 --> 00:00:45,567 You went into the lodge and drank hot chocolate with a polar bear. 12 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:49,000 Did I already tell you this story? Oh, my goodness, I'm turning into Grandma. 13 00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:53,600 No, I read that exact story in the new H.J. Darling book, 14 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,667 Charmed and Dangerous: The Story of the Lost Wand. 15 00:00:56,667 --> 00:00:59,667 - Hm. I don't know those books. - Everyone knows those books. 16 00:00:59,667 --> 00:01:02,600 How could you not know? They're about wizards like you guys. 17 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,100 Here's how... I don't read. [scoffing] 18 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:09,233 - Not even menus. She points at the pictures. - Mm-hmm. 19 00:01:11,467 --> 00:01:14,600 Oh, Alex. That's so sad. I could teach you. 20 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:18,667 Like I taught you how to make a bird feeder out of a pine cone, peanut butter and raisins. 21 00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:21,400 Yeah, my dad ate that. 22 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,200 I know how to read, Harper. I just choose not to. 23 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,367 You should readCharmed and Dangerous,'cause a lot of stuff in the books 24 00:01:27,367 --> 00:01:28,567 seems to happen to you. 25 00:01:28,567 --> 00:01:31,767 Wait. Her stories are things that happen to us? 26 00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:34,500 How's that possible? You're the only person I tell them to. 27 00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:38,400 Oh, no. I told a few stories to my lizard once. 28 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,100 Then he ran away. 29 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,300 - Max, you're lizard didn't run away... - Shh! 30 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,867 He ran away. 31 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,667 OK, hang on. Maybe this is all a coincidence. 32 00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:57,367 - Harper, how manyCharmed and Dangerousbooks are there? - Seven. 33 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,233 Fine, go get them. I'll read 'em by morning. 34 00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:02,467 I'll skip flossing to save up time. 35 00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:05,967 "Don't eat corn." 36 00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:10,600 ♪ Well you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪ 37 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,500 ♪ And the end will no doubt, justify the means ♪ 38 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,800 ♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪ 39 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,600 ♪ Yes please ♪ 40 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,600 ♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪ 41 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,800 ♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪ 42 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,100 ♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪ 43 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,567 ♪ That's what I said ♪ 44 00:02:24,567 --> 00:02:28,100 ♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪ 45 00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:31,600 ♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪ 46 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:35,400 ♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪ 47 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:39,367 ♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪ 48 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:43,100 ♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪ 49 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:47,400 ♪ When you can have what you want by the simplest of means ♪ 50 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,867 ♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪ 51 00:02:50,867 --> 00:02:55,100 ♪ Because everything is not... ♪ 52 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:58,100 ♪ What it seems ♪♪ 53 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:05,000 - Did she steal our stories? - Wait. 54 00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:08,967 - Did she steal our stories? - Wait. 55 00:03:10,867 --> 00:03:12,200 She stole our stories! 56 00:03:13,467 --> 00:03:14,900 I knew it. 57 00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,834 - Our stories are making this lady rich. - And famous. 58 00:03:17,834 --> 00:03:20,367 And famous! There's a crazy ten-minute sale, 59 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,200 the kids get stuck in a movie, the brother turns invisible, 60 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,467 and they pour orange soda into a genie's lamp. 61 00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:29,800 All right, so we've got our evidence. Angry mob, assemble! 62 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,600 I figured I'd be the one to make a living writing wizard stories 63 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,233 based on our adventures. 64 00:03:34,233 --> 00:03:36,400 Except my character's name would be Serge. 65 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,900 He'd walk with a bejeweled cane and wear an eye-patch. 66 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,867 What, no British accent? 67 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,100 Why, that's a smashing idea. Thanks, love! 68 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,800 Hot. 69 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,867 Guys, how do you think she knows all this stuff about us? [gasping] 70 00:03:55,867 --> 00:04:00,834 I'll bet this place is bugged. Everybody talk in code. 71 00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:02,400 Peanuts. 72 00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:07,967 - Nobody knows your code, Max. - Then we're safe. 73 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,400 We've got to find her and tell her to stop. 74 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:15,500 Oh! I know where she lives. An abandoned Paint Your Dish warehouse in upstate New York. 75 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:19,467 Whoa. How do you know she lives in an abandoned Paint Your Dish warehouse? 76 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:22,934 - I had my mom's private investigator track her down. - How's the case going? 77 00:04:22,934 --> 00:04:26,000 Everything's fine. Turns out my dad was just sleeping in the car. 78 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:31,600 Quick! To the Inter-Wizard People-Porter! Or, as Dad calls it, the I.P.P. 79 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,100 I pee pee. 80 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,400 [whirring noise] 81 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,467 What is that? 82 00:04:42,467 --> 00:04:45,700 - The I.P.P. - [snorting] 83 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:48,033 Cut it out, Justin. My stomach hurts! 84 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,300 This tube will take us wherever we want to go. 85 00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:53,200 Here, mortal. Put this on. 86 00:04:54,467 --> 00:04:56,767 Thanks for the helmet, but I can't go. 87 00:04:56,767 --> 00:04:59,033 I'm teaching scrapbooking to at-risk youths. 88 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:03,100 At risk of what? Making a scrapbook? Come on. 89 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:05,967 I can't. Call me when you get back. Goodbye! 90 00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:09,000 Not goodbye-goodbye, 'cause I'll see you when you get back. But... 91 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,900 Goodbye for now. Oh, darn. I ruined a perfectly good goodbye. 92 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,100 I.P.P. on. 93 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,667 On what? 94 00:05:21,367 --> 00:05:24,700 Peter's Pies... Paint Your Dish Factory Outlet... 95 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:27,300 Paint Your Dish Customer Service... Here we go. 96 00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:30,867 Paint Your Dish Warehouse comma Abandoned. 97 00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:33,500 This thing is so cool. [clearing throat] 98 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,300 [electronic beeping] 99 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,800 Wait! Don't tell our dad. We're not supposed to use it without permission. 100 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,867 - Tick-a-lock. - What does that mean? 101 00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:49,834 It means my lips are sealed. I use it when people tell me a secret, 102 00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:52,500 - or there's something I shouldn't tell... - Tick-a-lock. 103 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:54,734 [Justin] Bend your knees, guys. Bend your knees. 104 00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:57,200 [grunting] Ow! My ankle. 105 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:02,233 I'm OK. [groaning] No, I'm not. 106 00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:04,367 Can we paint a plate while we're here? 107 00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:07,200 - Max, I twisted my ankle. - Will you two focus? 108 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,934 We're on a mission to find H.J. Darling. 109 00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:12,834 [woman] OK, Ricky. Good scrapbooking. 110 00:06:12,834 --> 00:06:15,400 Uh, nice use of vinegar to make the paper look old. 111 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,400 Stay off the streets. [inhaling] Good kid. 112 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,700 Oh, I hope he makes it. [gasping] 113 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:27,767 Alex, Max, Justin... [gasping] I mean, who are you people? 114 00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:30,300 No, the question is, who are you? 115 00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:33,000 And if the answer is H.J. Darling, then my new question 116 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,200 is why are you stealing our stories? 117 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:39,000 [nervous chuckling] That's an excellent new question. 118 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,100 Um... Look. Why don't we sit down and talk about it? 119 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:46,467 - Uh... I'll make snacks. - Do you have sugar cubes drenched in honey? 120 00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:49,000 - "Boy salad?" - That's what I call it. 121 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:53,600 OK. Enough with the snacks. What are you, a wizard? 122 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,300 Or just someone who likes to wear aquariums? 123 00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:59,000 Or, maybe that fish on her head was a spy. 124 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,834 I'll see if it knows the spy code. 125 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:06,033 Peanuts. 126 00:07:07,734 --> 00:07:10,100 Nope. The fish isn't talking. 127 00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:13,300 You're in the middle of one of your stories right now. 128 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,567 My cornea! 129 00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:21,934 Bread, eggs, milk... 130 00:07:21,934 --> 00:07:24,367 - This is the worst story ever. - Oh... 131 00:07:24,367 --> 00:07:27,000 What is going on? Why are you writing about our lives? 132 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,100 - [plate breaking] - [grunting] 133 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,133 This broke on it's own. 134 00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:39,600 Look, uh, sit down. I'm gonna make some snickerdoodles with Red Hots, 135 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,300 - and I'll explain everything. - Hey... 136 00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:45,400 Harper makes snickerdoodles with Red Hots. 137 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:49,500 You're stealing more than just our stories. You're stealing recipes! 138 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:54,367 No, wait. Paint-a-plate, scrapbooking, snickerdoodles with Red Hots... 139 00:07:54,367 --> 00:07:56,200 She's stealing Harper's life, too. 140 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,000 [sighing] I'm not stealing her life. I have her life. 141 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,867 I don't mean, like, I've taken it from her, like she's gone, like it's separate... 142 00:08:02,867 --> 00:08:06,233 She still exists. What I'm trying to say is... I am Harper. 143 00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:09,700 [inhaling] Oh, I've ruined a perfectly good dramatic moment! 144 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,033 Oh, my gosh, you are Harper. 145 00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:17,033 But we just left Harper, and you're an adult. How is that possible? 146 00:08:17,033 --> 00:08:19,800 I'm Harper, from the future. 147 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,600 So... 148 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,934 If you are Harper, from the future... 149 00:08:28,934 --> 00:08:31,700 How many fingers am I holding up? 150 00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,734 - Two. - [gasping] Oh, my gosh, You are from the future! 151 00:08:35,867 --> 00:08:37,967 Um, OK. Nobody touch anything. 152 00:08:37,967 --> 00:08:40,000 If we do, we could totally disrupt things 153 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,200 for when we return to our own time. 154 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:48,100 - We're in our own time. She came back from the future. - Right. 155 00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:49,800 I don't get it. 156 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,500 Guys. She's definitely Harper from the future. 157 00:08:55,667 --> 00:09:00,133 OK, so you are Harper from the future. What are you doing here? 158 00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:02,467 Look, I really shouldn't say a lot about the future, 159 00:09:02,467 --> 00:09:05,000 - because it could change the future. - See? 160 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:09,834 [stammering] I just wanted to be right about something. 161 00:09:09,834 --> 00:09:13,767 Look, if you're from the future, why did you come back here to write about us? 162 00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:17,734 In the future, everybody knows wizards exist, so it's not that big a deal. 163 00:09:17,734 --> 00:09:21,567 It's more interesting for people to read about wizards in this time period. 164 00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:23,667 How come people know about wizards in the future? 165 00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:27,133 Again, I have to be careful what I say about the future. 166 00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:30,100 [inhaling] But, wizards got exposed because someone in this room 167 00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,600 has a big, big mouth. I'm not gonna name names. 168 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,000 Way to go. 169 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,900 She said she wasn't naming names. 170 00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:41,100 [sighing] But, I know it's me. 171 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:44,467 Hold on. If you're mortal, how can you travel back in time? 172 00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:48,900 I cannot stress enough the danger we're in by even talking about this! 173 00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:50,700 But, I will admit that I had help 174 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:53,300 - from one of the most powerful wizards of all time. - Me? Me? 175 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:55,200 Is it me? Did I win the competition? 176 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,834 I have to put my foot down. I've said too much already. 177 00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:02,100 As I used to say as a young woman, tick-a-lock. [grunting] 178 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:05,400 OK, but please don't tell young-Harper about future-Harper. 179 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,000 It'll freak her out and make her really self-conscious, 180 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,867 and I've always hated that about me. 181 00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:12,100 It's why I toned down my wardrobe. 182 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,967 Really? 'Cause I've never seen a hat you have to feed. 183 00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:19,033 [gasping] Thanks! 184 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,967 Hey, what's wrong with your eye, weirdo? 185 00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:26,100 I scratched my cornea when I yanked the paper out of the typewriter. 186 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:30,000 Uh... I need an eye-flush station. 187 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,000 [snorting] 188 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,100 Eye-flush after I.P.P. 189 00:10:39,567 --> 00:10:42,367 Alex, it's so great to see you young again. 190 00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:46,400 Are you saying I get old in the future? This just gets better and better. 191 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,400 You're upset. Did Mason break up with you already? 192 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,967 - Who's Mason? - Oop. Tick-a-lock. Tick-a-lock. 193 00:10:52,967 --> 00:10:55,667 Do you know what I want to know? Did I ever give you permission 194 00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:58,567 - to use my stories to become rich and famous? - Well, no. 195 00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:02,300 - Then why'd you do it? - The secrets you told me were so fascinating. 196 00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:04,900 They were secrets. Secrets are secrets. 197 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,767 - That's why they call them secrets, not books. - OK. 198 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:12,100 - That didn't make sense. - [scoffing] You're Harper. You know what I'm saying. 199 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:15,133 - Do you want my permission to use my stories? - Yes. 200 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,200 - Well, I'm not gonna give it to you. I'm outta here. - But... 201 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,567 - [electronic beeping] - Waverly Car Wash... 202 00:11:20,567 --> 00:11:23,033 Waverly Dry Cleaning... Waverly... Oh, geez. 203 00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:25,400 - Alex, what are you doing? - I am storming outta here. 204 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,600 Waverly Pet Shop... Ha, here it is. 205 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,934 - [electronic beeping] - Waverly Sub Station. 206 00:11:30,934 --> 00:11:32,600 Goodbye. 207 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,133 [whooshing sound] 208 00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:37,734 Come on, Max. We better go, too. 209 00:11:37,734 --> 00:11:39,667 Justin, wait. You've got to convince Alex 210 00:11:39,667 --> 00:11:41,734 to give Harper permission to write those books 211 00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:44,600 or my friendship with Alex will be ruined forever. 212 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,500 I've always dreamed of this. Someone has come from the future 213 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,767 to give me an assignment in the present day. 214 00:11:50,767 --> 00:11:52,300 I'm a Futurenaut. 215 00:11:53,967 --> 00:11:55,734 Hot. 216 00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:07,667 Alex, I called you ten times last night. How'd it go with H.J. Darling? 217 00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:09,600 Oh, I think you know how it went. 218 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,233 Or, maybe you don't, but you will. 219 00:12:11,233 --> 00:12:13,200 Then you'll know why I didn't call you back. 220 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,767 - You're upset with me? - Oh, so you do know. 221 00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:18,900 - No. What did I do? - I can't tell you, but it's not what you did do. 222 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:22,000 - It's what you will do. - [scoffing] Whatever you think I'm gonna do, 223 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,367 - I guess I'm sorry for it. - No, I don't think you are, or you wouldn't do it. 224 00:12:25,367 --> 00:12:29,767 - Ha. - What's up? Look at the two best friends 225 00:12:29,767 --> 00:12:33,233 having a loud conversation. 226 00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:35,834 What I love about you two is you would never let anything 227 00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:37,600 get in the way of your friendship. 228 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,100 You know what? If you're gonna be mad at me and not tell me why you're mad at me, 229 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,867 then I'm gonna be mad at you and not tell you why I'm mad at you. 230 00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:47,000 Oh, shoot. I just told you why. Now I'm mad at both of us! 231 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,734 - Aren't you gonna go after her? - No. 232 00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,200 What is up with your sunglasses? 233 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,567 It's filtered light therapy for my injured eye. 234 00:12:57,567 --> 00:13:01,600 It's a pair of Mom's sunglasses with a lens knocked out. 235 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,667 - Don't tell her. - [sighing] 236 00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:06,000 Look.... 237 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,467 You have to go after Harper. 238 00:13:07,467 --> 00:13:10,734 It's my mission from the future. I'm a Futurenaut. 239 00:13:10,734 --> 00:13:13,600 Futurenaut? You just made that word up. 240 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,233 How do you know? You don't read. 241 00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:18,200 That's because I have all the words I need. Including these two... 242 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,567 - Good. Bye. - No! 243 00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:24,967 Look, my mission, should I choose to accept it, and I do... 244 00:13:24,967 --> 00:13:28,100 is to get you to give permission to Harper to write those books. 245 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:31,800 You can't give permission to someone you can't trust, and I can't trust her 246 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,133 because she went ahead and wrote the books without my permission. 247 00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:37,400 Look, I've read the books and they're really good. 248 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,000 They're not just about us as wizards. 249 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,967 They're about your friendship with Harper. 250 00:13:40,967 --> 00:13:43,867 Well, I don't care about our friendship. I told her secrets. 251 00:13:43,867 --> 00:13:46,033 She betrayed me, so our friendship's over. 252 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,233 All right. But you're missing out on the part 253 00:13:48,233 --> 00:13:50,600 where you and Harper are getting chased by a dinosaur, 254 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:55,400 and then Harper uses her knitting skills to repair a rope bridge, and you get away. 255 00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:02,000 Ooh. An adventure about knitting. Pass. [scoffing] 256 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,700 Fine. Don't read any of the stories about the great times 257 00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:06,667 you and Harper have in the future. 258 00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:15,100 - [crowd gasping] - [girl] Alex Russo has a book. 259 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:17,000 Oh, I can hear you! 260 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,700 [cane tapping] 261 00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:37,000 Oh, my gosh. I've turned into Serge! 262 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:42,033 Remember I said I was going to write wizard stories based on our adventures? 263 00:14:42,033 --> 00:14:43,600 No. 264 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,867 Well, I did. And I said I was gonna be Serge 265 00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:50,500 and I was gonna wear an eye-patch and carry a bejeweled cane. 266 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,934 And, look. I am! 267 00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:55,767 Well, Serge is a liar. 268 00:14:55,767 --> 00:14:59,734 He also said this book would have dinosaurs and knitting, and it doesn't. 269 00:14:59,734 --> 00:15:04,100 [chuckling, British accent] So you gave the book a gander, eh, gov'ner? 270 00:15:05,967 --> 00:15:09,500 Futurenaut? Gander? Why don't you make that eye-patch a mouth-patch? 271 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:14,300 In order to get you to read the book, I had to lie to you about what was in the book. 272 00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:17,667 Well, fine. And you know what? You were right. It is a good book. 273 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,800 I didn't realize, now that Harper knows the secret that I'm a wizard, 274 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,467 there's all these adventures we're gonna take together. 275 00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:25,500 - Max and I are in that book, too. - Yeah. 276 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,767 I skipped to the parts with my character, Julia. 277 00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:30,567 The rest was blah, blah, blah... 278 00:15:30,567 --> 00:15:33,133 So, you should give Harper permission to write the books, 279 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,300 so you two can stay friends and I can say, 280 00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:38,000 [British accent] Mission accomplished, chap. [gasping] 281 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,567 Serge has a catch phrase! I gotta write that down. 282 00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:46,033 "Mission accomplished, chap." 283 00:15:46,033 --> 00:15:49,867 Really? Because I think Serge's catch phrase is gonna be... 284 00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:52,300 [British accent] "Stop hitting me with me own cane." 285 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,600 I don't want that on my... 286 00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:02,600 "I've done nothing wrong. And the way you've treated me is unforgivable. 287 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,600 "You're not the only person who thinks we're not friends anymore. 288 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:10,734 "There's another person and I think you know who that person is. But if you don't... 289 00:16:10,734 --> 00:16:12,467 "it's me, Harper. 290 00:16:12,467 --> 00:16:14,667 "Signed, Harper." 291 00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:18,033 How does that sound? 292 00:16:18,033 --> 00:16:21,100 I liked the note you had when you used the bad words. 293 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:25,600 Bad words are a crutch. They lead to tattoos and piercings. 294 00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:29,867 All right. [sighing] 295 00:16:29,867 --> 00:16:31,500 Now let me ask you something. 296 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,100 Can you tell this is glued? 297 00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:38,200 - [electronic buzzing] - Oh, they're coming! 298 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,834 I don't want to see Alex. She's supposed to read the note! 299 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,200 - [plate shattering] - Ah! All my hard work, Harper! 300 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,000 - What's the quickest way out of here? - The I.P.P. 301 00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:53,734 - [electronic noise] - How do you work this thing? 302 00:16:53,734 --> 00:16:56,600 Just spin the dial and stand under it. 303 00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,066 Oh, good job. 304 00:17:00,066 --> 00:17:02,400 Did I hear Harper in here? I have to talk to her. 305 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,233 Yeah. She left this note. 306 00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:07,967 [groaning] I'm tired of reading. Just tell me where she went. 307 00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:11,500 - I don't know. Somewhere in the I.P.P. - Dude! 308 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,200 - Check the dial. - [sighing] Fine. 309 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,500 I'll give it a gander. 310 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,800 That is how you use the word. 311 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,400 - She's going to the pyramids. - Oh, great. I've never been to Vegas. 312 00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,233 [electronic beeping] 313 00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:32,600 - [Justin] Bend your knees, bend your knees! - [thud] 314 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,734 - [groaning] - Yes! 315 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,400 - [clearing throat] - Oh... 316 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,567 Guys, where do you think Harper is? 317 00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:45,300 I don't know. 318 00:17:46,767 --> 00:17:48,100 Let's ask him. 319 00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,367 - Excuse me, sir. - Oh... 320 00:17:50,367 --> 00:17:54,200 The eye-patch and bejeweled cane tell me you're an adventurer. 321 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:58,467 Thank you. Ah, someone who gets me. 322 00:17:58,467 --> 00:18:02,000 Have you seen a girl with long hair and a shirt just like hers? Oh, wait! 323 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,467 That's her. 324 00:18:04,467 --> 00:18:07,000 - Where did she go? - Odd little girl. 325 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,600 She said something about pee-pee in the Grand Canyon. 326 00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:17,100 - I.P.P. in the Grand Canyon? - You, too? 327 00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:20,900 Strange custom. Keep it up and your natural wonder will be gone. 328 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,967 All right. Come on, let's go. Thanks, foreign dude. 329 00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:26,367 I'm from here. You the foreign dude. 330 00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:28,700 Whatever. [scoffing] 331 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:35,400 Harper! I give you permission! 332 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,100 [Harper, echoing] What? I can't hear you! 333 00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:43,000 I give you permission! 334 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,400 [Harper] A mission to do what? 335 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,467 This is impossible! 336 00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:53,700 [Harper]Mission Impossible? I already saw it! 337 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:57,400 - Meet me back at the house. - OK. 338 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,934 Oh, so you hear that? 339 00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,600 [sighing] 340 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,834 I'm really sorry I was mean to you. 341 00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:13,934 - Why were you doing that? - It's complicated. 342 00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:18,500 - I just want you to know that I read a book... - You read a book? 343 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:21,300 Oh, no wonder you were so irritable. 344 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,867 No, I actually liked it. 345 00:19:24,867 --> 00:19:28,100 And it got me thinking that, if you ever want to write stories 346 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,967 about my life and publish them, I give you permission. 347 00:19:30,967 --> 00:19:34,133 Why would I want to do that? I already know what I'm gonna do in the future. 348 00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:36,734 I'm gonna run a very successful paint-a-plate business. 349 00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:40,667 Oh. Paint-a-plate business? That's a good idea. 350 00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:42,834 But you know what else you'd be really good at? 351 00:19:42,834 --> 00:19:45,100 Writing stories about our wizard adventures. 352 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:49,734 - I will need something to do while my work is in the kiln. - Ah! 353 00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:53,100 See? I even have a great title for your first story. 354 00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:58,200 -Gander of the Futurenauts. - Yeah... 355 00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,800 I'll think of something. 356 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,233 So, we're not mad at each other anymore? 357 00:20:04,233 --> 00:20:08,233 No. I just hope that we're gonna be friends for a really long time. 358 00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:11,834 Alex, is that what you're afraid of? That we're wouldn't be friends? 359 00:20:11,834 --> 00:20:14,300 Well, I was afraid of that, but not anymore. 360 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,600 I'm pretty sure we're going to be friends forever. 361 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,834 [indistinct] 362 00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:32,900 [silent mouthing] 363 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:43,000 You know, you should practice mouthing words so people can understand them. 364 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,467 I am pretty bad at that. 365 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,133 [gasping] Oh, my gosh. 366 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,200 That's the greatest hat I've ever seen! Excuse me... 367 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,400 I just love that hat. Where can I get one? 368 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:02,100 - Here, you can have this one. - I can't take this from you. 369 00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,400 Consider it a loan. 370 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,400 Well, how will I get it back to you? 371 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:11,900 - Um... I'll get it back to her. - You know her? 372 00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:15,000 Yeah. She's an old friend of mine. 373 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,300 Oh. Hi, I'm Selena Gomez. 374 00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:27,000 In this episode, my character starts out not liking reading very much, 375 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,800 but by the end of the episode, Alex learns how important reading can be. 376 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:35,600 Reading can save lives. Like "Exit," in case of a fire. 377 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,600 Or, "Hey, this bottle has poison in it." 378 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:43,967 But, probably not that, because they usually have the skull and cross bones on it. Anyway... 379 00:21:43,967 --> 00:21:49,500 The point is, I love reading. And so does my friend, 380 00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:53,300 writer, producer, actor and director, Rob Reiner. 381 00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:54,900 Oh, hi! 382 00:21:54,900 --> 00:21:57,300 I love reading, too. 383 00:21:59,967 --> 00:22:03,100 Like I should've read the expiration date on this milk. 384 00:22:07,934 --> 00:22:11,000 Oh, Rob. Yes, he should have. 385 00:22:12,867 --> 00:22:16,500 But, I think you should love reading, too. 386 00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:20,000 Hi, I'm Selena Gomez. In this episode, my char... Oh, wait. 387 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,700 No, I already read this. OK. I'm done. Let's go, Rob. 31043

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.