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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,800
This programme contains very
strong language.
2
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,480
Hope you're not going to be
drinking on this uni trip.
3
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,000
You ready?
4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,240
Yeah.
5
00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:17,440
Got everything?
6
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:18,840
Yes, I already said that.
7
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:19,920
OK, OK.
8
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:22,960
Right, well...
9
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,960
..have fun, then. Be good.
10
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,440
Yep.
11
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,040
Yeah.
12
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:29,640
What's the matter with you?
13
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,440
I know, Mum.
14
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,600
About the man from the bingo.
15
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,280
What do you mean? Don't.
16
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,000
I saw you last week in the car park.
17
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:51,760
I need to go.
18
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,720
What, you've known for a week
and you've not said anything, Beth?
19
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,800
Beth, I was going to tell you.
I just... No, you need to end it.
20
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,000
I think you'd like him.
21
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:06,480
If Dad finds out...
22
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,080
What are you doing? I...
23
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,520
I can't.
24
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,200
{\an8}All right, boys? Are you trying to
snap my neck, like?
25
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,840
Look at that. Show her.
All right, Nan.
26
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,480
Eww, Lyd! How sick is that?
Who did that, Dracula?
27
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,280
A lady never tells! It's huge, man.
28
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,720
Ah, you ain't a lady.
29
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,720
WHISTLE BLOWS
30
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,440
Miss, I'm literally stood right
here, what are you whistling for?
31
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,480
Follow me, please. Now.
Let's go. Let's go.
32
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,240
Don't laugh. She always does this
to me.
33
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:52,040
Whoa. Get those hoops out of
your lug holes now or I'll eat them.
34
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,480
I promise you, I will swallow
them hole. Watch me.
35
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,080
Ah, here she is.
Snap, Crackle and Pop.
36
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:00,320
Did you like that?
37
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,960
I literally just thought of that as
I saw you, so... Yeah. Yeah.
38
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,560
Right, now, I need the pair of you
to be my eyes and my ears
39
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,680
when we get to that uni.
40
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:10,480
Anything fishy, yeah, little birdies
come chirp-chirp to me. OK?
41
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:11,720
Like what sort of thing?
42
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,080
Oh, I don't know. Let me think.
43
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,920
Booze, smokes, drugs, aerosols,
knives, Pogs...
44
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,280
Pogs? What are they?
45
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,200
..heavy petting and anything
in between.
46
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,160
And you're both in charge of
allocating rooms when we get there.
47
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,680
Thank you.
48
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:25,960
Oh, what is he doing?
49
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,160
Oi! Priest!
50
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,600
BLOWS WHISTLE
51
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,600
Get out of the bin!
52
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,040
Miss, I found a dildo!
53
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,200
I know that looks like your
scuzzy bedroom,
54
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:33,880
but it's not, it's a bin. Get out.
55
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,520
Oh, my God. Snap, Crackle and Pop,
what is she on?
56
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,120
I know, she's mad.
57
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,840
Yeah, make sure we give ourselves
rooms away from her.
58
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,400
What you been up to?
59
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,600
Can I give you that?
I'll be back in a minute.
60
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,960
What are you doing here?
Thought you weren't coming.
61
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,920
I'm not. You know I think
uni's for sheep.
62
00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,400
Yeah, yeah.
63
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,920
I, erm...
64
00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,160
I came to give you this.
65
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,600
Trying to ruin my street cred?
66
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,640
Street cred? Are you 90?
67
00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:07,320
I thought you could listen...
68
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,280
..if you're bored on the coach
or whatever.
69
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,520
Oi, hurry up!
70
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:12,960
OK.
71
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,360
I'd better go.
72
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,760
I'll let you know my thoughts.
73
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,160
My critique.
74
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,480
Course you will.
75
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,160
Oh. Why am I going to miss you?
76
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,640
You're such a fluffy dick.
77
00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:30,080
Is it cos hanging out with me
has been the best week of your life?
78
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,720
Dream on, babe.
79
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,760
OK. Right, bye.
80
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,520
Get ready, my review's coming.
81
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,680
If you don't like them,
you're dead to me.
82
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,520
Whatever.
83
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,520
WHISTLE BLOWS
84
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,640
All right, let's start our futures,
shall we?
85
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:45,160
Let's get going. Hop on the coach,
quickly as you can.
86
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,120
Right, come on.
87
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,920
Bums on seats.
Seat belts on, please.
88
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,760
And just a reminder -
no chewing gum, no hot liquids.
89
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,800
Yeah, on that let me be
crystal clear, all right.
90
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,440
You pop out a little coffee and you
scald the person next to you,
91
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,520
you'll be the ones getting sued,
all right, not us.
92
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,400
Miss, what about a cup
of tea? Banned.
93
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:04,880
What about a cup of soup?
94
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,320
Just eat the dried powder, Bethan.
I don't actually care.
95
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,760
All right, now, when we get there,
remember this, all right,
96
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,840
you're representing this school,
so please try and act house trained.
97
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,120
BOY HOWLS
98
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,040
And if you can behave yourselves,
IF, me and Mrs Blocker
99
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,920
might show you our party
trick later.
100
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,240
CHEERING
101
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,000
Ring-ring, ring-ring. Who's that?
102
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,480
Who's on the phone?
103
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,240
Is that your mum? What's she saying?
104
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,560
I'm literally going to
get my stomach pumped.
105
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,320
I'm going to puke over everyone.
106
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,440
I've got a bottle of vodka in my
bag. Oh, amazing.
107
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,760
I've got some rum in my flask.
108
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,360
I've got a little bottle of
limoncello up my anus. Woo!
109
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,200
God, do you lot ever shut up, like?
110
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,360
What you got? Beth, what have you
got? What you got?
111
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,200
Leave me alone. Come on.
112
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,800
Babes. Bye, Beth.
113
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,760
Boring. Well, you're not
getting any, then.
114
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,040
All right.
115
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,280
No farting. Got it?
116
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,280
# Ah-ah-ah
117
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,360
# Ah-ah-ah
118
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:18,520
# Ah-ah-ah
119
00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,840
# Oh, no, I did it again
120
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:23,760
# I let my mind leak out
into all my friends
121
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,400
# And now I'm lonely
122
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,800
# Sitting and sink in the blue
123
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,400
# Oh, no, I did it again... #
Beth.
124
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,600
# I let myself inside... #
Beth.
125
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,000
What? Couldn't you hear me?
126
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,520
Sorry. I thought we could go through
the room allocation stuff now.
127
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,040
Er, all right, yeah.
128
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:44,920
You OK?
129
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,440
We haven't spoken properly for ages.
130
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,840
Yeah, I'm good.
131
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,840
WHIRRING
132
00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:50,880
Yeah.
133
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,680
Doing myself a little frothy coffee
here, Jane. Would you like one?
134
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,160
Oh, yeah, lovely, go on.
135
00:05:58,160 --> 00:05:59,840
Miss, I thought you said no
hot liquids?
136
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:00,880
Mind your business.
137
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,320
There you go. It's basically
a cappuccino.
138
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:06,920
Look at that. Thank you.
139
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,040
You're welcome.
140
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,280
All right, come on,
shake a tail feather, please.
141
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:14,920
All right, guys, eyes over here.
142
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,760
Smell that?
143
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,800
That, my friends, is the scent of
your impending freedom.
144
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,040
SHE SNIFFS
145
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,240
Sniff it up. Let's go.
146
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:29,280
MUSIC: Salted Caramel Ice Cream
by Metronomy
147
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,720
# I guess I'm messy
I'm messy, I'm messy
148
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,960
# I'm all messed up
149
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,800
# I'm messy, I'm messy
150
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,120
# I'm all messed up
151
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,720
# I'm messy, I'm messy
152
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,000
# I'm all messed up
153
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,840
# I'm messy as a boy... #
154
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,640
Once an hour, I think about Lozza
Chapman asking if Cam was a virgin.
155
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,640
I wake up at night thinking
about it.
156
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,200
You're a virgin, though, in't you?
157
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,520
As if I'd tell you either way.
158
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:30,760
Why do you care so much?
159
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,400
Well, you can't go to university
as a virgin. It's shaming, like.
160
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,960
I'm ashamed to know you.
161
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,520
Will someone please have
sex with Travis?
162
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,680
Shut up, man. Please!
163
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,520
No. Don't!
164
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,680
What are we talking about?
165
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,040
Nothing.
166
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,680
Get a grip, he's gay.
167
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,320
Oh.
168
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:48,960
Lush. That's...
169
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,280
Well done.
170
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:51,760
Might be backing out.
171
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,360
What are you doing?
172
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,880
Nothing. Just...
173
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,120
Why don't you come and dance?
174
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:22,680
Hang on. I'll be...
I'll be there now.
175
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,440
Oh, Beth, put your phone away.
Come on.
176
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,120
No. Honestly, I'll be there now.
Come on, have some fun.
177
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,320
MICROPHONE FEEDBACK,
BOOING
178
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:30,840
OK, OK, OK.
179
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,160
Yeah, yeah, allow us, please.
180
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:35,720
Remember I said
if you behaved yourselves,
181
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,320
you could see our party trick?
182
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,000
CHEERING
183
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,040
Now, listen, is anybody here
by chance
184
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,280
into their early noughties garage?
185
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,160
Anyone?
186
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,960
Yes, Lozza Chapman,
girl after my own heart.
187
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,640
Well, hold on to your
hats, everyone,
188
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,240
because after this you
will be, so...
189
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,440
Hit it.
190
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,800
CHEERING
191
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:08,440
# Step in'a the club and them come
a turn and them a watch me
192
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:12,320
# Step on to the floor, man, then a
come and watch me and a clock me
193
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,880
# Bass come like a trigger and the
DJ come and shot me
194
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,360
# Rhythm take control and nothing
can stop me
195
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,640
# Vibes, them got me
196
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,560
# Cos take a glass of water now
197
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,280
# Dance is getting hotter now
198
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:27,240
# Drowning in the heat and I don't
wanna leave
199
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,240
# Rude girl, you know we look hot
200
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:30,840
# From we tick the time
We drip drop
201
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:32,840
# Tick it and a tock it
And a dip it and a drop it
202
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,960
# And a rock it
It's my selector, don't stop
203
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,680
# I keep on moving with the
lights on
204
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:38,720
# With the lights on
205
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:42,360
# So come on, baby,
just one more song
206
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,760
# I keep on moving with the
lights on
207
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,960
# I keep on moving with the
lights on... #
208
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,640
Boo! You bloody fun sponge!
209
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,480
Keep on moving with the
lights on, Miss.
210
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,520
Yeah, I will! Watch me wind, yeah!
211
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,720
CHEERING
212
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,720
You think you know me?
213
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,760
You don't know me.
214
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,160
You actually don't know me.
215
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,440
None of you girls know me.
216
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,800
CHEERING
217
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,360
We love you!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Woo!
218
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,080
Come on, stop dawdling.
219
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,840
Move, bed, the lot of you.
220
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,680
Yeah, to your own beds, thank you.
221
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,640
Everyone back to mine! Woo!
222
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,880
At least let us turn the corner,
yeah? Nice.
223
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,680
THUMPING MUSIC
224
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:25,360
INDISTINCT CHATTER
225
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,960
Do you know any funny jokes?
226
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,480
No.
227
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,040
Woo!
228
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,360
Come on, pussies!
229
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:41,680
Drink up!
230
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:43,360
Oh, my God, no. Oh, God.
231
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,600
What the fuck is that?
Cheers, cheers!
232
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,920
I didn't mean you, cunt chops!
233
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,080
Cheers.
234
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,880
OK, ready? Drink up, ready?
235
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,880
Fucking hell, that's rank.
236
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,640
What is that? Is that mouthwash?
237
00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,280
Don't give it to me,
I don't want it!
238
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,480
Beth, Beth. Beth, who's this,
who's this?
239
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,760
"Two fat ladies! 88!"
240
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,920
Major breath, man, get away.
241
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,080
LYDIA LAUGHS
242
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,280
"One little ducky, number nine!"
243
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,560
All right, OK, OK, all right,
can I get another shot?
244
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,680
Yes! Thank you! Get in there!
245
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:15,400
Okey dokey. Oh, my goodness.
246
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,440
HE LAUGHS
247
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,840
Oh, God. The love bite.
248
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:23,400
Get that down your nose.
249
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,920
I just can't believe it.
250
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,480
Can you imagine if they had a baby?
251
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,680
Oh, my God, it would
be fucking feral.
252
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:36,360
We'd have to take it straight to
borstal. Yeah!
253
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,160
Oh, dear. I can't.
254
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,840
You know, um...
255
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,360
..I don't care where your
mother works, don't you?
256
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,120
Yeah.
257
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,880
I know. She, um...
258
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,360
Yeah, she...she does actually
work in HR, though.
259
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,520
She's just working part-time
at the bingo,
260
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,120
cos she's saving for a new car.
261
00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,640
Is she? Hmm.
262
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,720
Do you reckon she'll
let you drive it?
263
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,960
Yeah, she says she will, yeah.
Cool. It'll be sound.
264
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,120
What are you two being boring for?
265
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,360
Sorry, we're just talking.
266
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,080
Move, move. OK. Oh, all right.
267
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,800
Sorry. Budge up.
268
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,160
I think I'm going to go to bed
in a minute, to be honest.
269
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,000
No, you're not.
We should play some drinking games.
270
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,760
Everyone,
let's do some drinking games.
271
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,920
Shut up, Poppy. No-one likes you.
272
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,200
Ugly bitch.
273
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,600
What the fuck is her problem?
274
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,560
Yeah, her love language
is being mean.
275
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,120
Mm.
276
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,400
She must really love me, then.
277
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,440
No, she really doesn't.
278
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,880
What's going on, Trav?
279
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,080
What's your story?
280
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,960
I know Beth's obsessed with you.
281
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,480
Oh! Are you obsessed with me, Beth?
282
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,000
As if!
283
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,680
I'll tell you his story.
284
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,920
He is...
285
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,400
He's really clever,
he's really smart... Mm-hm!
286
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,160
..and he's always got a nice perm!
287
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,800
THEY LAUGH
288
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,960
And he always laughs at my jokes,
don't you, babe?
289
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:03,040
Er, how is that a compliment for me?
That's a compliment to you.
290
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,520
Er, yeah, yeah.
291
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,160
And he's really interested in
how interesting I am.
292
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,920
Oh, no, no, no, you're...
Oi, Poppy...
293
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:13,120
Get off. Poppy.
SLURRING: Lyds... Lyds...
294
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,480
What are you doing?
295
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,000
Poppy, hon, hon-bun.
296
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,880
Come here, I need to talk to you.
297
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,840
Hold that. Cheers.
298
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,840
What? Right, woman to woman,
299
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,080
stop chucking yourself at Beth,
right, cos it's embarrassing, mate.
300
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,120
What? Lyd, stop.
She doesn't fancy you.
301
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:30,680
Why the fuck are you
friends with her?
302
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,600
Why are you still talking to her?
She hates you!
303
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,360
No, she doesn't.
Yeah, she really does.
304
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:35,520
And how would you know?
305
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,680
OK... Come on, this is mental,
stop this. Let's just have another
drink and settle down.
306
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:39,880
No, seriously.
307
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,080
Cos she's my best friend.
I know everything about her.
308
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,560
You really don't, babe.
309
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,200
Right, ladies, look,
I know I'm amazing,
310
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,840
but there's enough of me
to go around.
311
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,280
Yes, I really do.
312
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,800
OK.
313
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,120
If that's what you think.
314
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,600
Fuck's that supposed to mean?
315
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,240
Beth?
316
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,960
SHE GASPS
317
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,240
Beth?
318
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,760
Well, me and Poppy just kissed.
It's not a big deal.
319
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,120
HE LAUGHS
320
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,640
I fucking knew it!
321
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:12,960
SHE LAUGHS
322
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,560
Fish breath!
323
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,280
Thanks.
324
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,320
Just shut your mouth for once,
like, grow up.
325
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,320
Fuck.
326
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:33,880
PHONE BUZZES
327
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,360
PHONE DIALS OUT
328
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:47,680
CAM: Hello?
329
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,560
Hi, this is the
University of Coastal Wales.
330
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:54,600
We're just calling to let you know
that we've had to pump your friend's
stomach.
331
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,720
Oh, my friend?
332
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,360
Sorry, I think you might have
got the wrong number, mate.
333
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,440
What's happening, bruh?
334
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:05,080
Just sat here planning to kill you
after you slagged my music off.
335
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,640
Look, all you need to know about me
336
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,760
is that I will say
anything for a laugh, OK?
337
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:17,920
PIANO MUSIC
338
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,960
I don't feel tired.
339
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,560
Shall I tell you a bedtime story?
340
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,400
What story? Don't know.
341
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,120
Um... Right, OK.
342
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,040
Say a random word
and I'll make it up.
343
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,720
Um, OK.
344
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,320
Buttplug.
345
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,200
OK.
346
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,040
Um... Right.
347
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,000
Once upon a time,
348
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:48,240
there was a little buttplug
called Gareth.
349
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,000
He was...
350
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,000
KNOCK ON DOOR
351
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,240
Right, sorry, once sec,
I'll call you back.
352
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:57,720
What?
353
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:58,920
She wanted to see you.
354
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,320
Beth...
355
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,680
Right, that's me, then.
356
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:07,040
No, you can stay here, please.
No, no, I've had a titful.
357
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,840
Poppy... Poppy, take your...
358
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,640
..take your shoe, Poppy.
359
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,520
Just give it here, then.
Just come in.
360
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,360
Fuck.
361
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:34,520
VOICEOVER: I used to dream of this.
362
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,920
I think I'm a bit drunk.
363
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,080
Yeah.
364
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,720
Really sorry about earlier.
365
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,080
It's OK.
366
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,720
But be fair,
367
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,240
I haven't told anyone
and I easily could have.
368
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,720
Yeah, well, thank you.
369
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,320
POPPY LAUGHS
370
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,200
Oh, I miss hanging out with you,
Beth.
371
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,520
Yeah.
372
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,720
But you're too busy with Cam
these days.
373
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,680
Are you and her like, a thing?
374
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,320
I don't know.
375
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:15,840
I know things got weird.
376
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,800
You thought they got weird.
377
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,000
Do you like her more than
you like me?
378
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,480
I don't know. It's early days.
379
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,800
Oh, my God, Pop.
380
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,120
Have you been sick?
381
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:40,560
Are you OK?
382
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,160
Go to the toilet.
383
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,920
Ow!
384
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,720
POPPY VOMITS
385
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:48,160
POPPY PANTS
386
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,560
POPPY VOMITS
387
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,040
WHISTLE BLOWS
388
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,640
Morning, rise and shine.
389
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,840
Sorry, was I being a bit loud,
then, was I?
390
00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,000
Know what I smell?
Regret. And alcohol, actually.
391
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,320
Oh, Pops!
392
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,400
You were gagging for Beth
last night, weren't you?
393
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,720
Did you neck her?
394
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,240
Did you slap palms, like...?
395
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,120
Get off me.
As if, in my dreams.
396
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,880
She slept on my floor, so get lost.
397
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,400
Oh, gutted, Beth.
Your growler must be howling.
398
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,680
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa,
potty mouth, enough.
399
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,120
Honestly, you all stink.
400
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,480
Apart from you, Peter, minty fresh.
Vidal Sassoon, nice.
401
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,040
Hey.
402
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,600
Hiya.
403
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,280
Could have come and got you.
It's fine, I walked.
404
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,320
How was it?
Did you have a good time?
405
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,080
Yeah, it was good, yeah.
You look tired. I'm fine.
406
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,120
Dad's downstairs.
407
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,920
We could go and get a curry
or a Chinese if you want...
408
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,920
No, I'm going to meet a friend
in a bit, so...
409
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,760
..just going to jump in the shower.
410
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,840
TV IN BACKGROUND
411
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,440
See you later.
412
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,280
Think we're a hotel, do you?
413
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,120
QUIETLY: Oi! Get in.
414
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,240
What are you doing?
Get in! Get in the car.
415
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:13,440
Dil, we're just nipping out
to get some food. OK.
416
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,520
Get in the car. Mum, what are you
doing? Stop asking me questions.
417
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,440
CAR ENGINE STARTS
418
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,040
CAR ENGINE STOPS
419
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,280
We don't have to stay long.
420
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:37,880
I just want you to meet him.
421
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,880
I'm supposed to be somewhere.
It's not all about you.
422
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,560
Beth, for me, please.
423
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,680
Will you look at me?
424
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,800
Beth, will you look at me, please?
425
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,200
What's the matter?
Why won't you talk to me?
426
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,000
Dad's going to kill you.
427
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,000
You do know that, don't you?
428
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:11,600
VOICE BREAKING: Then what am
I going to do, on my own?
429
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,320
Oh, love, I know.
430
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,440
You don't need to worry.
431
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,360
I'm going to get us both out.
432
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,200
BETH SOBS
433
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,640
OK.
434
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,080
SHE BREATHES SHAKILY
435
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,720
OK.
436
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,240
CAR DOORS CLOSE
437
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:53,960
Stop it.
438
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:57,160
Hello, all right? Hiya.
439
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,840
Sorry, we can't stay long.
440
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,360
Aye, no bother.
441
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,880
Brace yourself. I've got someone
here who's buzzing to meet you.
442
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,080
She's here at last, Ffi.
443
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,560
Hiya.
444
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:21,560
Ffion, this is my girl.
This is Bethan.
445
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:22,640
FFION: Hi.
446
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,200
Want to fetch her the present?
447
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,480
Sit down. OK.
448
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,800
Just something little.
449
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,440
Your mother said you liked writing.
450
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:35,400
Oh, thank you! Wow.
451
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,400
Cat mad, this one, aren't you?
452
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,640
FFION LAUGHS
453
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,000
You look nice, Trin.
454
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,080
Oh, shh. Got my old T-shirt on.
455
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,160
Right, who's for tea? Yeah. Yeah.
456
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:48,400
I'll help you.
457
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,800
This is lush. I love this.
458
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,560
I know, it's gorgeous.
459
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,560
Do you want to see something?
460
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,040
Yeah, OK, yeah.
461
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,680
Oh, wow!
462
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,560
Is that...is that a bowling ball?
463
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:10,400
Yeah! My dad got me
this for my birthday.
464
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,520
Do you think it's cool?
Oh, it's really cool!
465
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,040
Do you have brothers or sisters?
466
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,600
No. Me neither.
467
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,280
Are you a cocoa girl, Beth?
Yeah, yeah.
468
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:22,800
Oh, right. Hey,
469
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,480
you've got to show her the back of
your snazzy jacket now.
470
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:26,760
Wait for it!
471
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,800
{\an8}Ta-da!
472
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:32,680
Oh, wow! That's amazing.
That's lush.
473
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,040
Can I have a high five?
474
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,000
Aww!
475
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,760
DOOR CLOSES
476
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,720
We're back. Grub's up.
477
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,160
What the hell took so long?
478
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,840
I left my purse on the bus and
they called me to come and get it.
479
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:58,960
That was lucky.
480
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,640
Yeah, it was.
481
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,400
That's mine.
482
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,320
Hey.
483
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,640
Oh, hey.
484
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,160
Sorry about yesterday.
485
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,360
No worries. Your loss.
486
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,240
Cool.
487
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:30,960
Shall we...? Yeah.
488
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:43,920
So who was knocking on your door
in the middle of the night?
489
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,920
Yeah, that's a funny story, that.
490
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,080
Yeah? Yeah.
491
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,800
Did I ever tell you that me and
Poppy had, like...like, a thing?
492
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,720
You know full well
you haven't told me.
493
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,400
Yeah, well, we did, ages ago.
494
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,880
It was her.
495
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,120
Amazing, great.
496
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,920
That's all I'm getting, is it? Yeah.
497
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,040
What can I tell you?
I'm a popular girl.
498
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:11,120
This is unbelievable.
499
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:13,520
Nah, basically, she, um...
500
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,560
..she's just jealous.
501
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,240
She just busted into my room,
threw up
502
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:18,920
and passed out next to the toilet.
503
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,400
Lovely. Yeah.
504
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:23,680
What's she jealous of?
505
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,080
No idea.
506
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,560
You're right, by the way.
Uni is crap.
507
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,520
Don't even think I want to go now.
508
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,080
Then don't.
509
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,280
Spent 50 grand on fast cars
and fast women instead.
510
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,560
Maybe I'll come to Marseille.
511
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:44,720
Yeah, all right.
512
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,920
You can come in my suitcase. Ta!
513
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,400
PHONE BUZZES
514
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,120
Oh, I've got to go.
515
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:56,680
Oh, yeah, tell me about
this tutoring thing, then.
516
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,280
Just got to teach this six-year-old
boy how to say, like,
517
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,400
swimming and ice cream in French.
518
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,680
Cool. Can you teach me? Yeah.
519
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,360
For £12 an hour.
520
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:06,880
Damn!
521
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,720
THEY LAUGH
522
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:13,040
So...
523
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,040
Can I see you again tonight?
524
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,120
Yeah, if it means that much to you,
yeah.
525
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:19,720
CAM LAUGHS
526
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,360
Joker, man.
527
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:34,840
THEY LAUGH
528
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,160
So are we, like, um...
529
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,920
..are we going out now, or...?
530
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,600
Um...
531
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:43,920
Yeah, all right.
532
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,200
Nice stuff.
533
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:57,920
Don't take the piss!
534
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,480
THEY LAUGH
535
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:18,720
Hey.
536
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,080
All right?
537
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,360
Where have you been?
538
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,640
Just with my friend.
539
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,360
Oh, yeah?
540
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:43,840
Better go.
541
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,640
What do you think of your mother?
542
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,520
What do you mean?
543
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,280
Been herself, like?
544
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,760
She seem all right? Yeah.
545
00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:57,960
She getting on OK at the bingo?
546
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,720
Think so, yeah.
547
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,760
Come on, then.
548
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:08,520
Want some grub?
549
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,400
No, I can't.
I'm going to meet a friend.
550
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,760
I thought you just saw your friend?
Yeah, a different one.
551
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,240
Quick bacon butty, that'll be fast.
552
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,800
No, I can't. I'm going to be late.
See you after.
553
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,880
All right.
554
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,400
Ta-ra.
555
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,280
KNOCK ON DOOR
556
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,840
Oh, this is a nice surprise.
557
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,360
Hiya. Sorry, just...
558
00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:37,000
..I brought a little present
for Ffion
559
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,560
to say thank you for the notebook.
560
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,560
Oh, bless you,
you didn't have to do that.
561
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,560
Come in and give it to her. OK.
562
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,600
Oh, I saw that! What?
563
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,760
You little cheat!
Oh, she's a crook.
564
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,600
Don't trust a word out of her mouth!
565
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,160
Are all those yours, there? Huh?
566
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,000
Yeah, I'm a bookworm, I am.
567
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,040
Take whatever you like
if you want to read one.
568
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,320
Thank you.
569
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,680
Now, can I coax you
to stay for lunch?
570
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,520
Only thing is,
Ffion gets to choose on a Saturday.
571
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,720
Chicken nuggets
and chocolate pancakes!
572
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,960
Yeah, lush, ta. OK.
573
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,360
Right, let's go again, Ffi.
574
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:16,600
No cheating!
575
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,160
Little Miss Cheat.
576
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,080
I've got my eye on you.
577
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:21,240
OK.
578
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,120
OK.
579
00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:24,360
Cheeky!
580
00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:26,160
Right... Ready?
581
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,360
I saw that!
582
00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:32,360
VOICES FADE OUT
583
00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:35,680
PIANO MUSIC
65076
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