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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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[LASZLO SIGHS] Oh, shit.
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Says here, "The large intestine should
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be placed before the small intestine."
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Of course. That is the
order of intestines.
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Well, that would explain why
my monster cannot digest corn.
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I'm gonna have to open
the brute up again.
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Please, no more cutting.
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Oh, no, no, sorry.
I wasn't talking about you.
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I was talking about another
shambolic monstrosity.
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- [MONSTER GRUNTS]
- Uh-huh.
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[DISTANT SCREAMING]
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What the shit was that?
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- It sounded bad.
- [NANDOR] Really bad.
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Where is it coming from?
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It sounded like it came from out here.
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- [SEAN] No!
- It's coming from Sean's house.
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[LASZLO] Seanie!
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[GRUNTS] Leap into the
air. We're coming, Seanie!
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- This way.
- Yes.
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[SEAN SCREAMING] Oh, yes! Oh,
yeah! [SCREAMING CONTINUES]
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[LASZLO] What the blazes?
We need to help him. Come on.
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Shit.
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We're coming in, Sean.
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Thank you. Sean!
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- [SEAN] What are you doing? That's a foul!
- Fucking beads.
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[SEAN] Clean the boards! Clean the
boards! There you go! That a boy!
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[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
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- Why? Why would you do that?
- [NANDOR] Is he drunk?
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Sean's always drunk.
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This is far more serious. Ecstatic
one minute, distraught the next.
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And he's wrestling with
control of his body.
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I've seen this before.
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Yes, I've seen this before too.
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Sean is possessed by a demon.
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Oh, I thought you meant you'd
seen Sean's basement before.
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A demon is a malevolent spirit
from the underworld in search
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of a human body to inhabit.
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And if it's not swiftly expelled,
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it can obliterate a human soul entirely.
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Basically, it's just like a red guy.
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Sometimes with horns, sometimes not.
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And one of these red
bastards penetrated Sean,
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which I will not tolerate.
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- Whatever you do, do not make eye contact.
- Yes. Sorry.
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- Not with me, you idiot. With Sean.
- [SEAN SCREAMING]
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- [CHARMAINE] Hey, Seanie!
- Go! Get us under!
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[GRUNTS] I can't take it. I'm
going to Diane's until this is over!
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You cannot abandon Sean
in his hour of need.
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Laszlo, this is ridiculous.
Every year with his March Madness.
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Come on!
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[NANDOR] I had not heard of
this "March Madness" before.
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Throughout time, humans have
confused demonic possession
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- with seasonal mental illness.
- [CRYING]
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00:02:04,848 --> 00:02:07,316
Like when a frost ghoul poisons your
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soul and they call
it the "winter blahs."
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Exactly that.
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- [CRYING]
- [TV CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]
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- God!
- We should put him out of his misery.
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What the fuck are you doing, Nandor?
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That's Seanie. He's our friend.
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[CHARMAINE] Every fucking year!
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[BURPS]
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The demon is expelling
his life force from within.
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- [FARTS]
- Fucking hell.
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♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪
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♪ They have no use for your song ♪
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♪ You're dead, you're
dead, you're dead ♪
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♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪
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♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪
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♪ You've sold out your
dream to the world ♪
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♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪
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♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪
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So, yeah, since I've never
worked in an office before,
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I guess I didn't know how important
it was to have an office identity.
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For example, there's Jimmy and Raj.
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00:03:14,573 --> 00:03:16,505
- They're the office sports guys.
- This is for you.
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[GUILLERMO] There's Danny,
who's the office barefoot guy.
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Oh, and Marla, her whole thing
is being the office dog lady,
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00:03:22,788 --> 00:03:24,678
which is awesome
'cause I love when Marla
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brings her dog and it pisses everywhere.
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00:03:26,585 --> 00:03:27,820
So, yeah, I'm just a little worried
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that I don't have an office identity.
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[AIR WHOOSHING]
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Can you give me a second, please?
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Colin. Colin! Colin!
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[WHOOSHING STOPS]
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00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:40,529
- Yeah. Hey.
- I don't understand.
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Why do you have a leaf blower?
There are no leaves on the ground.
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Well, not yet there aren't.
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00:03:44,603 --> 00:03:46,709
Do you think you could
give us, like, two minutes?
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00:03:47,296 --> 00:03:48,710
- Yeah. Okay.
- Thank you.
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00:03:48,711 --> 00:03:50,747
- Yeah.
- [LEAF BLOWER WHOOSHES, STOPS]
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Sorry about that. [CHUCKLES]
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So, yeah, I'm just a little concerned
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that I might not have an
office identity whatsoever.
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[COLIN] Are you kidding?
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- That's not good. That ain't good at all.
- Geez.
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How about office crossword guy?
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No, that's taken.
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00:04:05,486 --> 00:04:06,797
Office hot guy?
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00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:09,420
No, taken by Jacob.
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Office not hot guy but has a hot wife.
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Maybe it's not that big
of a deal. It's fine.
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No, trust me, it's a big deal.
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I've literally worked
in 137 different offices.
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It definitely is a big deal.
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How about, and I don't think you
could pull this off, office funny guy?
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- You got one of those?
- Unfortunately, we do.
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It all sort of happened
by an accident, really.
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- [EMPLOYEE] Cannon Capital Strategies.
- Cannon Capital Strategies.
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A phone rang and then I saw the banana,
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and I did this thing where I
pretended the banana was the phone.
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- Yes, I'll connect you.
- Yes, I'll connect you.
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I can't believe no one has
ever thought of it before.
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Yes, that offer is very appealing.
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My coworker Lisa, she totally gets me.
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- Lisa, I'm conferencing you in.
- Oh.
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She's like the Louise to my Thelma.
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If that movie was a banana comedy.
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Lisa, it's your nana.
She's dying. Aw. [LAUGHS]
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- [NADJA] Ring, ring.
- It's enough!
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Lisa, this thing won't stop ringing.
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00:05:08,998 --> 00:05:11,103
- It's driving me bananas.
- Okay!
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She's loving it.
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00:05:12,519 --> 00:05:14,071
- Also, look, it's a gun.
- [LISA] Stop it.
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So, long story short, I guess
I'm the office funny girl.
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[CHUCKLING] That is good.
[NORMAL] Okay, pivoting.
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How about, and please don't
take this the wrong way,
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00:05:24,772 --> 00:05:26,635
office Mexican guy?
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00:05:26,636 --> 00:05:28,775
- That's borderline racist.
- Okay. Sorry.
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00:05:28,776 --> 00:05:30,053
And, yes, I looked into it,
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00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:33,055
but Jose in compliance has
that [IN SPANISH] cerrado.
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Office gay?
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00:05:34,886 --> 00:05:36,542
No, that's taken. Same guy.
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00:05:36,543 --> 00:05:38,440
Office slut?
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00:05:38,441 --> 00:05:41,341
- This guy is multitalented.
- Okay. Just give me a couple minutes.
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00:05:41,858 --> 00:05:43,135
Can you turn that off?
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00:05:43,757 --> 00:05:46,346
It helps me think. I
just need two minutes.
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00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:50,901
Yes. Come to me. Yes.
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00:05:50,902 --> 00:05:52,454
Any chance you could speed this up?
141
00:05:52,455 --> 00:05:54,456
Oh, I'm sorry. Am I going too slow?
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00:05:54,457 --> 00:05:57,804
Maybe it's 'cause I'm exhausted
working around the clock with Jerry.
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00:05:57,805 --> 00:06:01,014
Jerry. What, are you guys, like,
boyfriend and girlfriend now?
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00:06:01,015 --> 00:06:03,948
- What?
- Or just, like, friends with benefits?
145
00:06:03,949 --> 00:06:05,433
That's what I'm hearing anyway.
146
00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:07,952
He's working on his plans
to take over North America.
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00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:10,507
Working on his plan to take
over your underwear, more like.
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00:06:10,508 --> 00:06:12,061
What say we get on with
the business at hand
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00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:13,820
and summon the fucking demon?
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00:06:13,821 --> 00:06:16,858
Um... [SPEAKING ANCIENT LANGUAGE]
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[NANDOR] Sorry, I got a question.
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- Yes?
- Do we repeat after you...
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00:06:20,103 --> 00:06:23,485
No. What I need you to
do is just focus on hell.
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00:06:23,486 --> 00:06:24,866
- [NANDOR] Yes.
- Get on with it, please.
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00:06:24,867 --> 00:06:26,661
All right. [SPEAKING ANCIENT LANGUAGE]
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The best way to expel a demon
is to summon a bigger demon
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to then scare the fucking
hell out of the existing demon.
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Everyone knows that.
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00:06:34,704 --> 00:06:40,089
[SPEAKING ANCIENT LANGUAGE]
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[GROWLS]
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[THE GUIDE] Hello.
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00:06:45,784 --> 00:06:48,476
[IN DEMONIC VOICE] I have prowled
the depths of the underworld
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00:06:48,477 --> 00:06:50,650
for nigh on an eternity
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00:06:50,651 --> 00:06:56,898
waiting to be summoned back to
sow fear and chaos once again.
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00:06:56,899 --> 00:06:59,797
- [LASZLO] Welcome, evil one.
- [NORMAL VOICE] What season is it?
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It is spring, o dark one.
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00:07:01,731 --> 00:07:04,216
Uh, real quick, what month specifically?
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00:07:04,493 --> 00:07:06,666
March, man of the nether region.
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00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:07,736
It's-It's March?
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00:07:07,737 --> 00:07:11,533
- Yes.
- Oh, yes. Delicious.
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00:07:11,534 --> 00:07:14,881
And, uh, which of these college squads
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00:07:14,882 --> 00:07:19,921
got their tickets punched to
the NCAA's Big Dance this year?
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He's looking at me. I haven't got
a clue what he's talking about.
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00:07:22,580 --> 00:07:24,167
- [DEMON] Any Cinderella stories...
- [LASZLO] What?
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00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,168
... vying for a chance in the sweet 16?
176
00:07:26,169 --> 00:07:29,793
I think this demon is really into
college basketball for some reason.
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00:07:29,794 --> 00:07:32,175
- You guys didn't fill out your brackets?
- What have you summoned?
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00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:33,693
I don't know how this happened.
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00:07:33,694 --> 00:07:35,144
The game's on here.
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00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:39,251
They play basketball in college?
What about their studies?
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00:07:39,528 --> 00:07:41,943
Get your head in the game. Let's go!
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00:07:41,944 --> 00:07:43,807
[DEMON] Let us go, indeed.
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00:07:43,808 --> 00:07:45,912
This young squad from Gonzaga
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00:07:45,913 --> 00:07:49,571
is about to have their character
put to the ultimate test,
185
00:07:49,572 --> 00:07:51,160
especially 'cause they
don't have a big man.
186
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,058
They can't really
effectively punch it down low
187
00:07:54,059 --> 00:07:55,751
- like UConn and Purdue, so...
- Uh-oh.
188
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,929
You're sure you can't see the
outline of my dick in these pants?
189
00:08:02,930 --> 00:08:04,828
- Like, bro, it's right there.
- So, you can't see it?
190
00:08:04,829 --> 00:08:07,210
- No. I don't see it. It's fine.
- I want people to see it.
191
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,178
Then, yeah. You can see
it. Anyone can see it.
192
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,248
- Fuck these pants.
- You got basketball tonight?
193
00:08:11,249 --> 00:08:13,146
You know it, baby. Bring
on the first-aid kit.
194
00:08:13,147 --> 00:08:14,838
Shit. What're you doing here?
195
00:08:14,839 --> 00:08:18,842
Well, I realized I can't really
help you with your identity crisis
196
00:08:18,843 --> 00:08:20,188
without being boots on the ground.
197
00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:21,845
No. It's fine. It's
not that big of a deal.
198
00:08:21,846 --> 00:08:24,261
No, actually it is a huge deal.
199
00:08:24,262 --> 00:08:25,849
If you don't make a splash,
200
00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:28,265
you're just gonna be another
anonymous name on a list
201
00:08:28,266 --> 00:08:31,717
of expendable shit-munching
drones when the layoffs come.
202
00:08:31,718 --> 00:08:33,270
- What layoffs?
- They're not gonna lay off
203
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:34,961
Bobblehead Mike over there.
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00:08:34,962 --> 00:08:36,205
[SCOFFS] That's not even his name.
205
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,965
Oh, really? What is his name, then?
206
00:08:38,725 --> 00:08:40,243
- Bobblehead Kyle.
- [COLIN] Exactly.
207
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:43,142
All right. You just hang tight here.
I'm gonna get the lay of the land.
208
00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:45,006
What do people even think you do here?
209
00:08:45,007 --> 00:08:48,147
They think I'm one of those HR guys
that walks around telling people
210
00:08:48,148 --> 00:08:50,114
not to talk about tits and ass at work,
211
00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:52,048
but I do it in a fun, irreverent way.
212
00:08:53,049 --> 00:08:55,258
Hello. Wanna hear a joke?
213
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:59,883
Second-chance points. You gotta
limit the second-chance points!
214
00:08:59,884 --> 00:09:02,195
- Ah, yes. Second chance.
- [TV CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]
215
00:09:02,196 --> 00:09:05,854
A mere offensive rebound,
and fate begins anew.
216
00:09:05,855 --> 00:09:07,339
Why the fuck are you telling me?
217
00:09:07,616 --> 00:09:09,893
Get over there and scare
the demon out of Sean.
218
00:09:09,894 --> 00:09:11,058
Yeah, I'm getting there. But, I mean,
219
00:09:11,068 --> 00:09:12,827
if they don't box out, this game's over.
220
00:09:12,828 --> 00:09:15,036
- Oh, beautiful pass.
- Beautiful pass.
221
00:09:15,037 --> 00:09:17,659
- [SEAN] That's what I'm talking about.
- [DEMON] Nice! Good D. Solid.
222
00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:19,178
- Yeah, very nice.
- Appreciate that.
223
00:09:19,179 --> 00:09:21,836
- [SPORTS ANNOUNCER] And down it goes...
- [BOTH] Oh!
224
00:09:21,837 --> 00:09:23,251
He's just watching the fucking...
225
00:09:23,252 --> 00:09:25,943
- Oy, demon guy. Get the fuck on with it.
- [DEMON] Yeah.
226
00:09:25,944 --> 00:09:27,049
All right.
227
00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:30,292
[SCREECHING]
228
00:09:30,293 --> 00:09:33,295
Give me a minute, Charmaine!
This thing's down to the wire!
229
00:09:33,296 --> 00:09:35,264
- What was that? Do it louder.
- [DEMON] All right.
230
00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:40,061
[SCREECHING, SCREAMING]
231
00:09:40,062 --> 00:09:42,822
- Charmaine, give me a goddamn minute!
- [LASZLO] All right. That's it.
232
00:09:42,823 --> 00:09:46,239
All right, Mr. Demon Guy, you can
get up and go back to the underworld.
233
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,305
[IN DEMONIC VOICE] A message arises
234
00:09:48,315 --> 00:09:50,658
from the depths of the sports center,
235
00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:55,214
harbingering grim news
about the fate of Gonzaga.
236
00:09:55,215 --> 00:09:59,288
Ay, ay. Stop. No spoilers.
I'm on a delay here. Hold on.
237
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,772
Who the fuck are you?
238
00:10:01,773 --> 00:10:03,947
[NORMAL VOICE] The souls
of Gonzaga are doomed
239
00:10:03,948 --> 00:10:06,708
to a fate worse than eternal hellfire.
240
00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:09,262
Banishment from this year's tournament.
241
00:10:09,263 --> 00:10:10,954
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
242
00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:14,336
You might wanna check your
bracket, guy. Gonzaga is out.
243
00:10:14,337 --> 00:10:17,236
This is, like, colossal
bracket-busting upset.
244
00:10:17,237 --> 00:10:18,927
You gotta see the highlights.
245
00:10:18,928 --> 00:10:21,274
You better watch your fucking
mouth 'cause I got a lot of money
246
00:10:21,275 --> 00:10:22,931
riding on this game.
247
00:10:22,932 --> 00:10:25,140
- I... [GRUNTS] I...
- That money is gone, friend. They lost.
248
00:10:25,141 --> 00:10:26,315
[GROANS]
249
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:27,936
[THE GUIDE] Oh.
250
00:10:27,937 --> 00:10:32,113
Yes. Watch him squirm as
the demon leaves his body.
251
00:10:32,114 --> 00:10:34,978
What exactly is a Gonzaga?
252
00:10:34,979 --> 00:10:37,256
I thought they were the
strongest team in the tournament.
253
00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:39,983
You know, they got a really
good group of 3-and-D players.
254
00:10:39,984 --> 00:10:41,260
Pretty deep bench,
255
00:10:41,261 --> 00:10:43,124
- but ball handle...
- I'm so sorry to interrupt,
256
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:45,437
but should we just, I
don't know, kill him?
257
00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:46,990
- Yes, I second that.
- Right?
258
00:10:46,991 --> 00:10:49,026
- Or get human ambulance, but...
- Whoa, whoa. No, no.
259
00:10:49,027 --> 00:10:50,926
[SEAN] Call 911.
260
00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:53,445
- Wow, look at Nadja.
- Uh-huh.
261
00:10:53,722 --> 00:10:55,757
She's killing it. You
could learn a thing or two.
262
00:10:55,758 --> 00:10:58,898
911, I'm having intrusive thoughts.
263
00:10:58,899 --> 00:11:03,109
Could someone direct me
to the suicide hotline?
264
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:04,353
- [CHUCKLES]
- No.
265
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,147
[CHUCKLES] She had 'em.
266
00:11:06,148 --> 00:11:08,460
Uh, okay. So, I've
narrowed down our options.
267
00:11:08,737 --> 00:11:11,393
We're gonna go for the office
loud laughter. What you need to d...
268
00:11:11,394 --> 00:11:12,774
- [PERSON LAUGHING]
- That's Cindy.
269
00:11:12,775 --> 00:11:15,950
Next option, how about
the repressed hothead?
270
00:11:15,951 --> 00:11:17,986
- I don't even know what that is.
- You know, quiet guy,
271
00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:19,401
but if you press the wrong buttons,
272
00:11:19,402 --> 00:11:21,887
goes from zero to 60
at the drop of a hat.
273
00:11:21,888 --> 00:11:24,337
I'm not really the kinda
guy that yells at people.
274
00:11:24,338 --> 00:11:25,994
No, that's the beauty of it.
275
00:11:25,995 --> 00:11:29,066
The repressed hothead only
explodes once every few weeks.
276
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:31,793
You'd spend the majority of
your time apologizing to everyone
277
00:11:31,794 --> 00:11:33,036
for your most recent outburst.
278
00:11:33,037 --> 00:11:36,004
Oh, quarterly growth
squad, meeting's in five.
279
00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:37,420
Let's do this thang.
280
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:40,768
Guillermo, you got my PowerPoint
slides? Ma P.P. slides?
281
00:11:40,769 --> 00:11:42,390
- Got your P.P. right in my hand.
- Okay.
282
00:11:42,391 --> 00:11:44,841
Hey, maybe you could be,
like, the office piss guy.
283
00:11:44,842 --> 00:11:46,187
- No.
- He's into piss?
284
00:11:46,188 --> 00:11:47,291
Just stay here.
285
00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:49,052
Okay, hothead it is.
286
00:11:49,053 --> 00:11:50,191
We'll talk about it later.
287
00:11:50,192 --> 00:11:52,227
- Guillermo, next slide, my man.
- Yes.
288
00:11:52,228 --> 00:11:56,887
All right, so here we have the
projected growth numbers for Q three,
289
00:11:56,888 --> 00:12:00,409
and it's conservative, but it's
still looking really good for 2.1%.
290
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,411
- [JIMMY] Nice.
- Yeah, but it could be nicer, right?
291
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:05,068
- [JORDAN] And if we get rowdy with it...
- I'll give you rowdy.
292
00:12:05,069 --> 00:12:06,897
- Give it to me.
- We cut half the workforce.
293
00:12:06,898 --> 00:12:10,383
I bet we could jack that
up to 2.2 maybe, maybe 2.3.
294
00:12:10,384 --> 00:12:12,421
- You know what's cooler than 2.1% growth?
- No.
295
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:14,456
- Two point three percent.
- [JIMMY] Two point three!
296
00:12:14,457 --> 00:12:16,976
- [EMPLOYEES LAUGHING]
- Guillermo, You all right?
297
00:12:16,977 --> 00:12:18,219
Yeah. [CLEARS THROAT] All good.
298
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,323
[JORDAN] Next slide, please.
299
00:12:19,324 --> 00:12:21,498
- Yep.
- [KNOCKING]
300
00:12:21,499 --> 00:12:24,502
- Uh, Mr. de la Cruz?
- Do you know this guy?
301
00:12:24,813 --> 00:12:26,952
- No.
- Sorry, everyone.
302
00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:29,472
Uh, Mr. de la Cruz, if I
could have you for a moment.
303
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,508
No, it can wait till after the meeting.
304
00:12:31,509 --> 00:12:32,951
Actually, it's pretty time sensitive.
305
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,304
I need to talk to you just for a second.
306
00:12:34,305 --> 00:12:36,099
- Okay.
- All right, quick.
307
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,446
Just two secs, boss.
308
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,999
- [JORDAN] Who's this guy again?
- Can you take a look at that?
309
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,414
This is a lunch menu.
310
00:12:41,415 --> 00:12:44,176
Yeah, I wanted to get a head
start on tomorrow's order.
311
00:12:44,177 --> 00:12:45,418
Are you fucking kidding me?
312
00:12:45,419 --> 00:12:46,869
That's great. Go with it.
313
00:12:48,491 --> 00:12:51,908
What the fuck, bro? You come
in here and interrupt us?
314
00:12:51,909 --> 00:12:53,462
- [JORDAN] Okay.
- That's some fucking BS!
315
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,187
Snap. Shit's getting real in here.
316
00:12:55,188 --> 00:12:56,465
You want my order? Fine. Here.
317
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,087
Take my order. Get a pen
ready and write this down.
318
00:12:59,088 --> 00:13:00,295
- Let's go.
- [JORDAN] Damn.
319
00:13:00,296 --> 00:13:02,263
I'll make sure to go
real slow for you, okay?
320
00:13:02,264 --> 00:13:03,505
- Showtime.
- Let's go! Tell him!
321
00:13:03,506 --> 00:13:05,819
I'm a stupid fucking idiot.
322
00:13:06,337 --> 00:13:08,234
- [SCREAMS]
- [JORDAN] Whoa! Fuck!
323
00:13:08,235 --> 00:13:10,444
Hey, security? Security?
324
00:13:15,933 --> 00:13:18,451
- My dear Sean. What have I done?
- [TV CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]
325
00:13:18,452 --> 00:13:20,384
[GROANS] Move the rock.
326
00:13:20,385 --> 00:13:22,386
Ah, Jesus Christ. Terrible pass.
327
00:13:22,387 --> 00:13:24,319
- Lazy possession, come on!
- [SEAN] Protect the rock.
328
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,943
[NANDOR] Laszlo, if I may have a word.
329
00:13:26,322 --> 00:13:28,603
Respectfully, do you not think that it
330
00:13:28,613 --> 00:13:30,498
is perhaps time for you to let Sean...
331
00:13:30,499 --> 00:13:32,328
- [DEMON] Bullshit call.
- How do I put this?
332
00:13:32,950 --> 00:13:34,606
- Die?
- How dare you?
333
00:13:34,883 --> 00:13:37,057
Humans, they get hurt and then they die.
334
00:13:37,886 --> 00:13:39,197
They are just temporary.
335
00:13:40,095 --> 00:13:44,029
No human is special.
Not even your Seanie.
336
00:13:44,030 --> 00:13:45,583
My Seanie is special.
337
00:13:45,894 --> 00:13:48,517
Ah! Finally. A fellow man of science.
338
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:51,589
- May I humbly offer you my diagnosis?
- Well, uh...
339
00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:54,971
My friend Sean here,
he had a demon in him
340
00:13:54,972 --> 00:13:57,076
and his possession has sent him into,
341
00:13:57,077 --> 00:13:58,941
what they call in the
medical profession,
342
00:13:59,321 --> 00:14:02,323
a real fucking shitstorm.
343
00:14:02,324 --> 00:14:04,497
- We all have WebMD now, don't we?
- Yes.
344
00:14:04,498 --> 00:14:08,087
Well, it wasn't a heart attack,
if that's what you're referring to.
345
00:14:08,088 --> 00:14:12,091
The technical term is a non-ST
elevation myocardial infarction.
346
00:14:12,092 --> 00:14:15,336
- Did he say "fuck Sean"?
- I did not say that. It's an "infarction."
347
00:14:15,337 --> 00:14:17,994
- You just said it again.
- It's just a minor heart incident.
348
00:14:17,995 --> 00:14:19,271
Tomato, tomato.
349
00:14:19,272 --> 00:14:22,101
Right. Well, next time,
he may not be so lucky.
350
00:14:22,102 --> 00:14:23,275
[SEAN GROANING]
351
00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:24,621
Your friend's blood
pressure is very high.
352
00:14:24,622 --> 00:14:27,106
I'd recommend starting
with diet and exercise.
353
00:14:27,107 --> 00:14:28,557
[LASZLO] Well, don't
you worry about a thing.
354
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,007
Under my supervision, I'll
have Sean back to rude health.
355
00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:32,560
- Great.
- [SEAN, GROANING] Oh, fuck.
356
00:14:32,561 --> 00:14:34,563
- [GROANING]
- Oh, shit. Come on.
357
00:14:35,115 --> 00:14:36,668
That is that.
358
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:41,189
With the Wildcats out, I
shall join my bracket in hell.
359
00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:43,596
Now I begin the journey back to the
360
00:14:43,606 --> 00:14:46,988
eternal hellfire from whence I came.
361
00:14:46,989 --> 00:14:52,201
[SCREECHING, ROARING]
362
00:14:53,616 --> 00:14:55,583
- See ya.
- Bye then.
363
00:14:55,584 --> 00:14:57,378
[SEAN] I like that guy.
364
00:14:57,379 --> 00:15:00,589
Did anyone else expect his journey
back to hell to be a little cooler?
365
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:02,108
- Very much so.
- Hmm.
366
00:15:03,592 --> 00:15:05,317
[LASZLO] Oh.
367
00:15:05,318 --> 00:15:06,353
Ah.
368
00:15:07,044 --> 00:15:08,045
There it is.
369
00:15:09,046 --> 00:15:10,599
I really am sorry.
370
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,221
I-I saw this look in your eyes and
I thought you were gonna punch me.
371
00:15:13,222 --> 00:15:15,258
- Yeah, well, I wasn't.
- We can work with this though.
372
00:15:15,259 --> 00:15:17,260
Guy getting punched in
the face at the office.
373
00:15:17,261 --> 00:15:18,676
That's a pretty cool identity.
374
00:15:18,987 --> 00:15:20,126
Stop! Just stop.
375
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:23,059
Is everyone looking at us?
376
00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:24,646
Yeah. Yeah, they're all looking at us.
377
00:15:24,647 --> 00:15:27,201
Great. Come out with me
and follow my lead, okay?
378
00:15:27,202 --> 00:15:28,581
- Okay.
- [JORDAN] All right.
379
00:15:28,582 --> 00:15:30,135
Yeah. Keep an eye on the situation...
380
00:15:30,136 --> 00:15:31,931
Can I have everyone's attention, please?
381
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:33,552
[GUILLERMO CLEARS THROAT]
382
00:15:33,553 --> 00:15:35,279
Earlier in the conference room,
383
00:15:35,658 --> 00:15:40,007
a lot of you witnessed
my colleague Colin...
384
00:15:40,008 --> 00:15:41,284
Hello.
385
00:15:41,285 --> 00:15:45,150
... display behavior that
was wildly unacceptable.
386
00:15:45,151 --> 00:15:48,464
But I ask that we show Colin some grace.
387
00:15:49,293 --> 00:15:50,639
We don't know what's
going on in his life.
388
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,641
We don't know the kind
of day that he's having.
389
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:55,644
And that's why mental
health is so important.
390
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,369
- [SHOUTS]
- [EMPLOYEES GASP]
391
00:15:57,370 --> 00:16:00,303
Hey, hey! What the
fuck are you doing, man?
392
00:16:00,304 --> 00:16:04,964
Yeah. So I may have accidentally
punched Guillermo again...
393
00:16:05,585 --> 00:16:07,275
- [NADJA] Go Colin!
- ... and again...
394
00:16:07,276 --> 00:16:08,725
- [JORDAN] Break it up!
- ... and again and again.
395
00:16:08,726 --> 00:16:10,451
I kind of lost track.
396
00:16:10,452 --> 00:16:11,555
- Stop.
- Yes, Collin.
397
00:16:11,556 --> 00:16:13,765
Why did I punch Guillermo?
398
00:16:14,042 --> 00:16:16,629
I-I gotta be honest, I-I don't know.
399
00:16:16,630 --> 00:16:18,459
Uh, your guess is as good as mine.
400
00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:20,737
Don't you fucking step to me!
401
00:16:20,738 --> 00:16:23,534
- Don't you step to me!
- [JORDAN] Get him out of here!
402
00:16:24,121 --> 00:16:27,710
Hello. I would like to report
an ass kicking. [LAUGHS]
403
00:16:28,504 --> 00:16:33,164
♪ And did you know It
was a microphone too? ♪
404
00:16:34,476 --> 00:16:37,513
I will say though.
Felt effin' fantastic.
405
00:16:38,273 --> 00:16:40,343
Now, don't you worry
about a thing, Sean.
406
00:16:40,344 --> 00:16:43,795
I shall be right by your side
every step of your road to recovery.
407
00:16:44,072 --> 00:16:46,625
I won't ask you to do a
thing I wouldn't do myself.
408
00:16:46,626 --> 00:16:48,800
- We're a team.
- All due respect, Laz,
409
00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:51,354
I feel like we're kind of jumping
into the deep end here, you know?
410
00:16:51,355 --> 00:16:53,666
How about we ditch
these stupid treadmills,
411
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:55,186
head over to Jersey Mike's,
412
00:16:56,153 --> 00:16:58,223
set up a diet and exercise plan,
413
00:16:58,224 --> 00:16:59,708
maybe order a footlong
while we're at it?
414
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:01,778
- The good times can wait.
- [SIGHS]
415
00:17:01,779 --> 00:17:04,229
You know, in another life,
I think I'd be a good host.
416
00:17:04,230 --> 00:17:06,025
You know, like, daytime stuff, I think?
417
00:17:06,542 --> 00:17:07,646
- Definitely.
- Yeah.
418
00:17:07,647 --> 00:17:09,682
[NANDOR] Back in Al Quolanudar,
419
00:17:09,683 --> 00:17:13,239
when a fellow warrior would
fall on the battlefield,
420
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:18,139
the honorable thing to do would
be to take care of that man's wife
421
00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:20,245
until he got back on his feet.
422
00:17:20,246 --> 00:17:24,766
And so, as Sean heals,
I am here for Charmaine.
423
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,700
Taking out the garbage.
424
00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:28,806
[NANDOR SIGHS]
425
00:17:29,427 --> 00:17:30,807
Washing up.
426
00:17:30,808 --> 00:17:32,257
You're welcome.
427
00:17:32,258 --> 00:17:33,604
Fixing what needs fixing.
428
00:17:35,399 --> 00:17:36,571
Oh.
429
00:17:36,572 --> 00:17:38,711
Watching what she
likes on the television,
430
00:17:38,712 --> 00:17:41,750
which is mostly humans falling over...
431
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,337
Wipeout!
432
00:17:43,338 --> 00:17:45,788
... which is considered peak TV.
433
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:48,757
Because you take one
peek, and you love it.
434
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,448
Do I like Nandor?
435
00:17:51,277 --> 00:17:52,725
I mean, yeah, sure.
436
00:17:52,726 --> 00:17:54,727
I feel bad for the
guy. He's a little slow.
437
00:17:54,728 --> 00:17:56,177
[SHOUTS]
438
00:17:56,178 --> 00:17:57,420
Wipeout!
439
00:17:57,421 --> 00:17:59,387
I mean, that's why you
guys are making this, right?
440
00:17:59,388 --> 00:18:01,217
A documentary about a slow guy?
441
00:18:01,218 --> 00:18:02,528
[NANDOR] Wipeout!
442
00:18:02,529 --> 00:18:04,876
So, Nandor, is there
someone special in your life?
443
00:18:05,429 --> 00:18:09,294
There is someone I
never had feelings for,
444
00:18:09,295 --> 00:18:13,401
but then, very recently,
I have seen in a new light.
445
00:18:13,402 --> 00:18:16,370
- [CHARMAINE] Hmm.
- And this is given rise to feelings I...
446
00:18:16,371 --> 00:18:18,199
I do not understand.
447
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,545
Well, does she know how you feel?
448
00:18:19,546 --> 00:18:22,824
Honestly, Charmaine, I do
not even know how I feel.
449
00:18:22,825 --> 00:18:25,414
- Well, you should tell her.
- I should tell no one!
450
00:18:26,381 --> 00:18:28,831
- Can you keep this secret, Charmaine?
- Mm-hmm.
451
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,903
Good, because if you don't,
I'll kill you in your sleep.
452
00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:33,560
Okay, mum's the word.
453
00:18:33,978 --> 00:18:36,024
I know this is going to hurt, but pain
454
00:18:36,034 --> 00:18:37,736
is just weakness leaving the body.
455
00:18:37,737 --> 00:18:39,877
Is pain also piss leaving the body?
456
00:18:40,188 --> 00:18:42,706
'Cause I think I pained
my shorts a little.
457
00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:47,608
Come on, Sean. Harder. Faster.
You love to ball. Prove it.
458
00:18:47,609 --> 00:18:49,507
[GROANS] Fucking stop!
459
00:18:50,474 --> 00:18:52,613
- That wasn't that bad.
- [LASZLO LAUGHS]
460
00:18:52,614 --> 00:18:53,822
How do I stop it?
461
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,479
- [GROANING]
- Yeah. That's the stuff.
462
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,619
Ow. Nandor, have you
ever done this before?
463
00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:01,553
- No.
- [PHONE RINGING]
464
00:19:01,554 --> 00:19:04,729
- Hey, Laszlo. What? I'll be right there.
- [LASZLO ON PHONE, INDISTINCT]
465
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:06,696
Is everything okay?
466
00:19:06,697 --> 00:19:08,629
Sean had another heart attack!
467
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:11,873
Oh, no. We must definitely
do something about that...
468
00:19:11,874 --> 00:19:14,359
- Come on.
- ... after this episode of Love Island.
469
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,534
We go bye-bye now. Come on!
470
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:21,642
Sorry I pushed you so hard, Sean.
471
00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:25,680
I tried to extend your
pathetic, short human life.
472
00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:29,616
Now I realize I should just
cherish the time we have.
473
00:19:30,341 --> 00:19:33,619
Hey, listen, Char, can you
give Laz and I a moment here?
474
00:19:33,620 --> 00:19:35,898
- Really?
- Yeah. You and Nandor go take a lap.
475
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,624
- You okay over there, Nandor?
- Hmm?
476
00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:40,869
- You wanna go get a snack?
- Sure.
477
00:19:41,387 --> 00:19:43,836
Yeah, let's get this
off your hands, okay?
478
00:19:43,837 --> 00:19:46,322
- So, what's on your mind, Seanie?
- [CHARMAINE] Yeah.
479
00:19:46,323 --> 00:19:49,878
Look, Laz. My pop died young.
480
00:19:50,913 --> 00:19:52,536
My gramps died young.
481
00:19:53,571 --> 00:19:55,194
I'm probably gonna die young.
482
00:19:55,711 --> 00:19:57,678
Yeah, yeah. It's all right.
483
00:19:57,679 --> 00:19:59,750
There's nothing I can do about it.
484
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,855
There's nothing that you
can do about it either.
485
00:20:02,856 --> 00:20:05,789
It's a cruel, cruel world.
486
00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:07,723
Oh, no, don't be down.
487
00:20:08,276 --> 00:20:09,655
It's actually a good thing.
488
00:20:09,656 --> 00:20:12,452
Knowing that my life is short
makes me savor every moment.
489
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,282
I might not be here for long.
490
00:20:15,283 --> 00:20:16,387
But while I am,
491
00:20:17,388 --> 00:20:19,769
I'm gonna live life to the fullest.
492
00:20:19,770 --> 00:20:20,943
To the fullest!
493
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,359
[CHUCKLES]
494
00:20:22,911 --> 00:20:24,498
On to more important matters,
495
00:20:24,499 --> 00:20:27,294
you talk to that guy
Mike about the thing?
496
00:20:27,295 --> 00:20:30,332
- Yes.
- [CHUCKLES]
497
00:20:31,402 --> 00:20:33,955
Where the hell is Charmaine?
I gotta get this down quick.
498
00:20:33,956 --> 00:20:35,302
[LASZLO] Yeah.
499
00:20:35,303 --> 00:20:37,304
I can't get it in fast enough.
500
00:20:37,305 --> 00:20:38,409
I can see that.
501
00:20:39,790 --> 00:20:41,894
So sorry, Guillermo. I'm just
getting a call from my doctor.
502
00:20:41,895 --> 00:20:43,689
That's enough. Give me that.
503
00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:45,553
- That's gross. Give me that.
- No! Doctor, there's a monkey trying
504
00:20:45,554 --> 00:20:46,935
- to steal my phone!
- Give it to me!
505
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,901
Guillermo, can I grab you for a sec?
506
00:20:48,902 --> 00:20:49,971
Great.
507
00:20:49,972 --> 00:20:51,421
- Come on in. Take a seat.
- Okay.
508
00:20:51,422 --> 00:20:53,527
Hey, and, uh, close the
door behind you, please.
509
00:20:53,528 --> 00:20:54,563
Okay.
510
00:20:55,944 --> 00:20:58,773
- About yesterday...
- Yes. I'm so sorry about the commotion.
511
00:20:58,774 --> 00:21:00,637
It'll never happen again.
512
00:21:00,638 --> 00:21:03,847
Just... I understand the optics of
the situation are not great, okay?
513
00:21:03,848 --> 00:21:08,404
Gay POC beat up by a white guy
who's bald on top of everything else.
514
00:21:08,405 --> 00:21:10,544
I'm not sure being bald
makes it worse, but...
515
00:21:10,545 --> 00:21:15,721
We just never want a situation
where an employee feels unsafe.
516
00:21:15,722 --> 00:21:17,758
- Yeah.
- So unsafe that they feel
517
00:21:17,759 --> 00:21:20,554
like they need to talk to a lawyer.
518
00:21:20,555 --> 00:21:21,797
Yeah.
519
00:21:22,902 --> 00:21:25,007
Oh. You think I'm gonna sue the company?
520
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:27,388
[LAUGHS] Hey, calm down, all right?
521
00:21:27,389 --> 00:21:29,528
- Those are your words, not mine.
- [CHUCKLING] Sorry. Yes.
522
00:21:29,529 --> 00:21:32,497
But seriously, are you?
[STAMMERS] You can tell me.
523
00:21:32,498 --> 00:21:34,361
- What are we doing here?
- No. No.
524
00:21:34,362 --> 00:21:35,741
I'm not gonna sue the company, no.
525
00:21:35,742 --> 00:21:37,916
I knew there was something
special about you, hombre.
526
00:21:37,917 --> 00:21:40,781
Makes me think... You know,
cone of silence here...
527
00:21:40,782 --> 00:21:42,645
There are some things
happening at Cannon
528
00:21:42,655 --> 00:21:43,956
that you could be very helpful with.
529
00:21:43,957 --> 00:21:48,064
- Oh, anything.
- Some legal gray areas, SEC-wise.
530
00:21:48,065 --> 00:21:50,480
- You feel me, bruh?
- Yeah. [STAMMERING] SEC-wise.
531
00:21:50,481 --> 00:21:53,863
It's nothing bad. It's just
some corporate red tape bullshit.
532
00:21:53,864 --> 00:21:55,521
Kinda wanna look the other way
533
00:21:56,004 --> 00:21:57,763
so we can get back to
doing good business.
534
00:21:57,764 --> 00:22:00,319
- Yeah.
- That sound like something you can handle?
535
00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:03,424
- Yes.
- Well, all right.
536
00:22:03,425 --> 00:22:06,427
At my last job, I had
to keep a lot of secrets.
537
00:22:06,428 --> 00:22:09,050
All right. Yeah. Tight
as a vault, right?
538
00:22:09,051 --> 00:22:11,605
In fact, that's what I'm
gonna call you now. The Vault.
539
00:22:11,606 --> 00:22:13,641
- The Tight Vault?
- Just the Vault.
540
00:22:13,642 --> 00:22:15,643
[GUILLERMO] Colin
beating the shit out of me
541
00:22:15,644 --> 00:22:17,645
was probably the best thing
that ever happened to me.
542
00:22:17,646 --> 00:22:20,579
So I guess that's my thing?
543
00:22:20,580 --> 00:22:22,030
- Definitely.
- That's amazing.
544
00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:23,687
[GUILLERMO] I finally have an identity.
545
00:22:24,515 --> 00:22:26,102
Maybe keep it between us
546
00:22:26,103 --> 00:22:29,037
how much I brought up your race
and your sexuality in this meeting.
547
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:31,832
- I am the Vault, aren't I?
- Hey, my guy!
548
00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:34,697
[GUILLERMO] I'm trustworthy. I'm strong.
549
00:22:34,698 --> 00:22:35,870
- Now, back to work.
- Yeah.
550
00:22:35,871 --> 00:22:38,460
I'm the Tight Vault.
551
00:22:38,874 --> 00:22:40,668
[JORDAN] Just the Vault.
552
00:22:40,669 --> 00:22:43,120
["THREE MEN CAN KEEP A SECRET [IF
TWO OF THEM ARE DEAD]" playing]
553
00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:48,470
♪ Three men can keep a secret
if two of them are dead ♪
554
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:56,028
♪ Three men can keep a secret
if two of them are dead ♪
555
00:22:56,029 --> 00:22:59,963
I'm going to invite The Guide
to watch Wipeout with me.
556
00:22:59,964 --> 00:23:03,829
No pressure. I mean, we can
just be friends watching TV,
557
00:23:03,830 --> 00:23:05,486
or we can make out.
558
00:23:05,487 --> 00:23:07,005
We'll see how it goes.
559
00:23:07,006 --> 00:23:09,697
[SONG STOPS]
560
00:23:09,698 --> 00:23:11,596
Oh, Jerry.
561
00:23:11,597 --> 00:23:13,909
Hey. Are those for me?
562
00:23:15,842 --> 00:23:16,843
Yes.
563
00:23:18,914 --> 00:23:19,915
Are you gonna...
564
00:23:20,468 --> 00:23:23,643
Sure. Right.
565
00:23:24,575 --> 00:23:25,610
Fuck it.
566
00:23:25,611 --> 00:23:27,025
[SONG CONTINUES]
567
00:23:27,026 --> 00:23:28,752
♪ Where there is light
there are shadows ♪
568
00:23:29,477 --> 00:23:31,755
♪ Hands reaching for your neck ♪
569
00:23:33,446 --> 00:23:36,415
♪ In each heart is built a gallows ♪
570
00:23:37,070 --> 00:23:39,487
♪ I'm the noose and amulet ♪
571
00:23:40,902 --> 00:23:43,905
♪ And they call out in the lies ♪
572
00:23:44,768 --> 00:23:48,427
♪ And we're reaping memory ♪
573
00:23:48,806 --> 00:23:52,776
♪ Three men can keep a secret
if two of them are dead ♪
574
00:23:56,573 --> 00:24:00,508
♪ Three men can keep a secret
if two of them are dead ♪
575
00:24:03,959 --> 00:24:08,066
♪ Three men can keep a secret
if two of them are dead ♪
576
00:24:08,067 --> 00:24:09,517
[SONG ENDS]
577
00:24:09,770 --> 00:24:14,770
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
45962
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