All language subtitles for The.Franchise.2024.S01E07.1080p.WEB.H264-ETHEL-HI

- (BIRDS TWITTERING)
- (MUNCHING)

- ERIC: And... action!
- (BLEATS)

Now make him step
through the portal, please.

- (TAMAZ SPEAKING ARMENIAN)
- ERIC: Come on.

- ♪ (MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
- ERIC: Through the portal.

- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
- ERIC: Cut, cut.

Cut the dumb fucking goat heart
out with a knife!

DANIEL:
Okay, that's a cut, guys.

It's nothing personal, Tamaz.
Um, she'll be great.

- (GOAT BLEATING)
- Uh, the goat is bullshit.

And I say that as someone
who's worked with sheep.

Location brain.
He just needs a rest.

DAG: He's had that hat on
for three days.

I heard a rumor that the toggle
got stuck on Wednesday

and now he's sleeping in it.

All right, Eric, it's just
a quick establisher, mate. Yeah?

It was supposed
to be a funny bit.

The goat from before
has wandered through the portal.

It was unexpected, it was funny.

Fuck!

I think she's just
a very somber screen presence.

I mean, not to put all our
problems on the goat, but...

Can you find me a goat
that does comedy please, Daniel?

I mean, I'm joking
but I'm serious.

Dag, can you call the agency?

I need the Armenian
Richard Pryor,

- but a goat. Yeah?
- (HICCUPS)

- No, not again.
- It's okay, Eric.

It's probably just a one-off.
It doesn't mean they're back.

(HICCUPS)

♪ (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC
MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(MUTTERING) Scheisse! Scheisse.

(GRUMBLES)

Motherfucking,
cocksucking hiccups! (HICCUPS)

God. Imagine if we all
just lost our minds out here.

ERIC: (SCREAMS) Fuck!

Oh, it's happening.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

BRYSON: What a bridge.

DAG:
According to the local fixer,

who wouldn't shut the fuck up,
it is historically significant.

We blow up the bestest stuff.

Eric wants a practical explosion
in his movie,

and the Armenian people
respect that.

Survived many centuries,

but it shall not survive
our franchise.

Isn't that right,
Mr. Explosives Man?

(IN ARMENIAN ACCENT)
Trigger plus bang equals boom.

Safety plus safety
equals safety,

and everyone keeps
their fingers.

(LAUGHS) Right?

- DAG: What did he say?
- No fucking clue.

They have so much of this crap,
they don't give a shit.

By the way,
we're hosting a local sick boy.

He gets his dream day

and we get a delicious bowl
of Armenian tax credits. Yum.

So, what's, uh...
what's up with Eric?

I hear he's got a hat stuck
on his head?

Broken down
by the jackboot of the studio

stomping on his dream, I guess.

He's currently at the hotel.
He's having a hot bath.

Getting into the zone
to blow up that bridge.

- Are you swallowing gum, Pat?
- Yeah, I do this sometimes.

What happens when it comes out?
You just lay a big white egg?

It never comes out.
That's the best part.

Hey, you see this shit
on Deadline now?

- Uh-uh.
- Fucking Scorsese's at it again.

(IN WHINY VOICE) "Oh, cinema's dead.
Franchise movies killed it."

(WHINES, SCOFFS)

(IN NORMAL VOICE) We ran the data
and we think he might be right.

What? Wait, new data?

Yeah, our tracking's
in the toilet.

More multiplex closures
incoming.

I had Shane on the phone
freaking out,

asking me if he killed cinema.

Huh? Obviously,
I had to say no, but...

Oh, God.

Rome is getting toasty, Anita.
Action may have to be taken.

- ARTAK: Pat?
- Yeah.

You want to see a bone I found?

PAT: You found a bone?
Fuck yeah, I do!

Oh, shit!
We're in the bone zone, yo.

LANA: Okay, everyone, listen up.

This'll only take
a couple of minutes.

Okay, there's one
protected species in the area.

The Armenian whiskered bat.
Brown fur.

- Please do not approach it...
- Mm-hm. Hmm.

LANA: ...but come
and speak to me immediately.

(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

Speaking of protected species,
you know Rufus?

Mama fucked a mollusk.
And we did not use condoms.

Oh my God, Steph.

I know, it's awful. It's awful.
(LAUGHS)

I don't know why I'm laughing.

He's married.
So am I. It's terrible.

I'm rooting for you guys. I am.

The acceptable face
of infidelity.

Why didn't we use condoms?
We had some.

They were right there.
Big thick ones.

What if I'm pregnant?

- I really hope you are.
- (LAUGHS)

Come on, Dag. Come on now, Dag.

Okay, that's quite enough,
young missy.

It's just...
It's a harmless location-ship.

DAG: Mmm.

Cut to, me breastfeeding
baby Rufus.

(LAUGHS)

Oh my God.
I don't know why I'm laughing.

This could destroy lives.

All right, thank you, Lana.
Let's get to work.

♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

STEPH: Morning, big man.

RUFUS: Morning, Stephanie.

Uh, may I direct you
to our director?

DANIEL: Great,
the cat in the hat is back.

I got excited 'cause I thought
it was a different hat,

but it's actually the same one.

Whew! God, so hot in here.

Let's all take our hats off.
Yeah, guys?

(ERIC HICCUPS)

You feel better
after your hot bath?

ERIC: Better.

And while I was in the tub,
I read an article on Deadline.

Marty thinks we killed cinema.

And that
made me rethink everything.

Oh, goodie.

ERIC: I cannot be responsible

for the death of the thing
that I love the most.

And so, a new subversive ending.

I had Dave from VFX
staying up all night

to do the pre-vis.

My friend.

Dave.
Long time no see. How are ya?

Working 27-hour days
for 17 weeks...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can we see the pre-vis, please?

Uh...

Oh, sorry. That's a...

- (KEYBOARD CLACKING)
- ...personal project. Um...

ERIC: The new ending.

Same as before.

But then...

What... What are they doing?

ERIC: They're taking off
their superhero suits

and talking in their shirts,
like men.

A frank exchange of views.

They're resolving
their differences and then...

- (TECTO AND EYE LAUGHING)
- ERIC: ...they laugh.

But offbeat,
because everything is mad.

The end.

I'm just doing what I'm told.

DANIEL: (INHALES) Yeah.

(WHISPERING) Let's just have
a little seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(CLEARS THROAT)

As your good friend,
and... and close collaborator...

can I just ask firstly,
is your hat stuck on your head?

Absolutely not.
One million percent no.

Categorically
and undeniably, no. No.

And I will not blow up
the bridge.

Eric.

We have to blow up the bridge.

We... We just bought the permits,

and we've flown 300 people
to Armenia.

(CLICKS TONGUE, SHUSHES)

Daniel.

We love movies, don't we?

And we must save them.

And this is how.

Are you in this with me?

Are we gonna turn
this whole thing inside out,

save pop culture,
Jesus of Düsseldorf? Yeah?

Oh, there it is.
There's that smile that I love.

Yeah. (INHALES)
All right, just...

- gimmie two secs.
- ERIC: Mm-hmm.

Yep, he's, uh, gone cuckoo.

Can confirm hat
firmly stuck on head.

- Out.
- (DOOR UNLATCHES)

- Eric, see you in a minute.
- ERIC: Yep.

- (ERIC HICCUPS)
- DANIEL: Go. Go. Go, go, go.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(HICCUPS)

Right.
Eric's gone stress mad.

Like, full location-weirdness
with a side order of hiccups,

and then like a...
like a perma-hat.

He's refusing
to blow the bridge.

Ugh, no.

Eric cannot fuck around today.

Scorsese gave Shane
a panic attack

and now Pat's losing his mind.

Demolition guy
looks a bit like Pat.

Sorta Scooby-Doo, Scrappy-Doo.

Daniel, you have to get Eric
back on set

and shooting right now.

Yeah, okay.
I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

♪ (INTENSE PENSIVE
MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

DAG: It's like Pat
got shrunk in the wash.

Travel-sized Pat.

Jaz. Jaz.

Roll on the empty set
for 30 seconds

and then feed it
into Eric's trailer on a loop.

And then get the cast wired.

We're gonna line up
to blow the bridge.

Without Eric.

Operation Truman Show.

DAG: Makes total sense.
If you've gone mad.

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

Dave, you continue working
on the animation.

I'm going to sketch
these peanuts.

Great. Huge help.
I appreciate that.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

DAG: Right.
So we're fucking him?

No, Dag,
we're protecting him, yeah?

Eric takes a vision nap
and we do the humdrum.

We're the details.

The nitty gritty
itty bitty titty committee.

- (CHUCKLES) Exactly.
- Right. But you get to do it?

You, Daniel,
personally take over the movie?

No! No, no, no.
Obviously, practically, yes,

but this...

We're protecting Eric
and saving him from Pat.

Hey, no, look. I'm all for it,
but while we're all getting

our grubby little hands down
each other's pants...

Which isn't what...
That's not happening.

If you're acting director,

I guess that makes me
acting first AD.

- Oh! Evil. Nice.
- DAG: Thank you.

Well played.

Don't let the power
go to your head.

(CHUCKLES)

(OVER MICROPHONE) Earthlings,
this is God speaking.

(CHUCKLES)
Only joking. It's Dag.

No, but things are gonna be
changing around here, okay, guys?

(IN ARMENIAN)

(IN ENGLISH) Holy mackerel,
that's a big child.

Is that part of his condition?

- TRANSLATOR: He has long COVID.
- BRYSON: He has long everything.

Welcome, sir.

Would you like some
Maximum Studios coloring sheets?

(IN ARMENIAN)

(IN ENGLISH) Yeah. Uh....

I do have some pajamas,

but I... I don't think
they're gonna fit him.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(SQUEALS, GIGGLES)

Needy woman alert.
I'm just coming in for a hug.

Hmm.

Yeah, only joking.
I am so fucking over it.

- (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS) Right, yeah.

Yeah. Obviously,
I am in love with you.

But, yeah,
it's just stress love.

I'm just in stress love
with you, yeah.

(INHALES DEEPLY)
I love you. (CHUCKLES)

Right.

I just thought, Steph,
we were on the...

on the same page. Hmm?

Ah, okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
No, cool. Yeah, no sweat mate.

- (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
- (CHUCKLES)

Yeah. You...
You're a fucking dead man,

'cause I've got a pair
of lobster crackers

and they are coming
for your nuts.

Bloody hell.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- BRYSON: Oh, guys. Guys.

This is our local
Dream-A-Dream man.

- Nice!
- BRYSON: For context,

the man has a non-terminal
autoimmune disease,

and his size is nothing
to worry about.

Great.
Hey, big fella, how are you?

Chenquieh.

Right?

- Should we, uh, sign his shirt?
- BRYSON: Yeah.

Yeah, sign it
in Sharpie or something.

Lucky boy.
Two for the price of one.

(ADAM LAUGHS)

Tell him he's a lucky boy.
Tell him.

(IN ARMENIAN)

Mm. Slogo, DanTDM, MrBeast.

- (IN ENGLISH) What's he saying? Is he thrilled?
- Here.

Yeah. (CLEARS THROAT)

Peter, also, if you could
please present the man

with this award for being
the real hero of the day.

And a photo, please.

Whoop. Hey!

Oh, this is great.
"Tecto" on three.

- One, two, three.
- Tecto!

- BRYSON: (CHUCKLING) Yeah.
- Nice!

Here you are. Thanks.

And maybe one with a big smile.

Yeah! Let's see those teeth.

DAG: (OVER MICROPHONE)
Okay, everyone, listen up!

I don't have anything to say

but I am still very much
enjoying using the god mic.

More to come.
Will keep you posted.

Dan, now that I'm first AD,

I think I'm gonna go
and shout at the lighting guys

‘cause they're
fucking lazy cunts,

if that's cool?

Just make sure
I've got their respect.

Eric's blocking
doesn't really work.

Oh my God, you look
so much like a director.

You want a photo?

No, Dag.

- DAG: Don't look. Don't look.
- Okay, make it quick.

Yeah, yeah.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

- Dan?
- Yeah.

Uh, question from
our demolition team

on the bridge.

Tick-tock on the bomb clock.
Countdown to the countdown.

Why is he talking in riddles?

Is he... Is he
from a nursery rhyme or...?

- I got this, Dan. First AD shit.
- Okay.

But the rigging, you definitely
want to blow the bridge?

On my cue, yeah?
Me. Don't look at him.

We're blowing the bridge.

- ARTAK: Okay, but you're not...
- You're talking over me, Artak.

Let's not be a man
who does that, yeah?

(OVER MICROPHONE)
Okay, lighting,

you slack-jawed bunch
of lazy fucks.

Hey, Dan,
is Eric gonna come down

- for this one?
- Uh, he's... he's watching

from his trailer, mate, so...

ADAM:
Dan, what's going on here, man?

Because Eric hasn't been
around much lately.

Is he withholding?
Is he playing mind games?

Absentee dad, he thinks
I'm gonna dance for him

for his approval?

'Cause honestly,
I probably will. Yeah.

See, my dad,
the last time I heard from him

was when he, you know,

left a two-star review
on Letterboxd.

He said I was unconvincing
as a son and as Buddy Holly.

- Man, that's brutal.
- ADAM: Yeah.

I mean, you could tell Eric,
you know,

he was right about Flight Mode.

I broke it up
and smashed all my guitars.

Oh, mate,
you didn't have to do that.

- He's watching. He's always watching.
- ADAM: It doesn't matter.

Actually, he...
he's just... I've...

- Yeah.
- Is that him?

- Yeah.
- ADAM: Is that him?

- Is it him? - H... He said he thinks
you're amazing. Yeah. And...

he loves you.

- Real... Yeah?
- DANIEL: Yeah.

He said do it, but with energy.

With, like, you know,
Adam energy.

- ADAM: Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, biggest Adam energy. Yeah!

Just... Oh, but also, um,
don't forget that Eye's the guy

who wants to destroy
the planet, yeah?

- Do... g... crush it.
- Yeah.

- Got it.
- All right.

Oh my God,
now you're directing the actors.

Yeah, it's not black magic.

Faster, slower,
happy, less happy.

The rest of it's just
bullshitting the fuckheads.

"Bullshitting the fuckheads."

Okay, David Fincher.

Oh, Peter, Eric wants to adjust
the blocking.

Oh, am I doing it wrong?

Maybe we should ask
that massive child.

Didn't you hear?
He's the real hero of the day.

(CHUCKLES) Can I just show you
what I... well, what Eric wants?

Yep.

Oi, fuck boy.
You're on the wrong mark.

Lovely. Thank you, Steph.

Oh, it's a pleasure.
Barnacle dick!

Yeah, it's gonna be great.

Just, uh, gotta tweak
the blocking, but...

Ah, look at you.

Directing
a 150-million-dollar movie,

not breaking a sweat.

Hey. H... Whoa.

Look at that. Did it again.
I killed the mood.

You know,
it's kind of my superpower.

I can walk
into any creative situation,

kill the mood like that.
(CHUCKLES)

The Mood Hoover.

Yeah, I'm deadening.

I have a naturally
deadening energy, I always have.

Ever since kindergarten.

Where's Eric?
I need some time alone with him.

Eric, uh, he, uh,
is locked away in his trailer.

He's, uh, recutting the movie
while directing it.

He's over absolutely everything.

Hey, why don't I set you up
in the producer's tent,

a little plate of smoky sausage,
hang out with the demo guy?

Yeah, he's me
at 70 percent scale.

It's like playing
with my own action figure.

Do you, uh... Talk me through
your director's shot.

(INHALES) Uh, well,

uh, it's a tracking shot
behind Adam.

- PAT: Mm-hmm.
- Uh, which then goes wide.

You see the bridge full-frame,
and boom.

We blow it up.
I mean, Eric blows it up.

Hm, that's good.
You give good Eric.

I like the way you say in words

instead of, you know,
all of this fucking shit. Right?

All right, you know what?
I have to call Shane.

Maybe I tell him we fire Eric.
You shoot it instead, huh?

- (CHUCKLES)
- (CHUCKLES) All right.

All right, you know what?
Forget about Eric.

I have to head to the airport.
You two break a bridge, huh?

Artak, me, you, WrestleMania?

I'm serious!

What was that?

Maybe Pat was flirting with you.

- (CHUCKLES)
- JAZ: Dan, big problem.

I found something
and I wish I hadn't.

Whiskered bat,
protected species.

Okay. Have you told anybody?

'Cause then
the sustainability woman

will shut us down and you won't
get to direct the movie?

That's irrelevant, Dag. Yeah?

This is about doing
the right thing.

DAG: It's twitching.

Okay, how about
I just pick it up.

And then we'll see
if it's ready to fly, yeah?

Okay, come on then, buddy.

Ah, that's a shame.

It... It just wasn't meant to be.

Holy shit,
now we're drowning things.

DANIEL: Okay, Dag,
she would have shut us down.

Yeah? It would have
killed the movie.

Maybe all movies, actually.

And as first AD, can I just ask,
does this feel right?

'Cause whatever happened to,
"Ours is not to reason why"?

‘Kay, yes.

I get it. Okay?
I do. I wanna direct.

I've got everything riding
on this, Dag.

- Dan, the bat's caught on a branch.
- (BAT SCREECHING)

It's visible from the shoreline.
It seems like it's crying.

(BAT SQUEALS)

I guess this is what
it sounds like when bats cry.

Okay, let's just...
just throw rocks at it.

- Obviously.
- (BAT SCREECHING)

Big ones. Big ones.

Yeah, Jaz, throw big rocks
at the drowning bat.

DANIEL: Okay, Dag,
can you help, please?

I know it doesn't feel like
we're fighting the good fight,

but we are.

- (DANIEL GRUNTS)
- DAG: Forward cinema.

(BAT SCREECHING)

Yeah, this is fine.
This is good.

Keep going.

We've gone full metal batshit.

(JAZ EXHALES SHARPLY)

- Ooh! Nicked a wing.
- (BAT SCREECHING)

Hey, Dan, can I get
two minutes now, please?

- Uh...
- ANITA: Now, please. Let's go.

So, I've been...
I've been thinking.

I... I don't know. May...
Maybe Pat's into you,

and maybe this just works?

Like, what if we
put Eric in a box

for the rest of the shooting,

and make this movie together?

You know, call the shots.

Uh, yeah, Anita, sorry...

Maybe we're a power couple, Dan.

(CHUCKLES) I don't know.

Maybe I'm not thinking
a 100 percent clearly,

but, um, I don't know,
maybe we just say...

fuck it.

I should go
see a medic though. Um...

Oh, this one?

You hurt your little hand,
big time director? (CHUCKLES)

- Okay. (SIGHS)
- (KISSES) Mm, is that better?

- (KISSES) Is that better?
- DANIEL: Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

- Is that better?
- (DANIEL BREATHING HEAVILY)

Uh, okay. No, 'cause...

Oh. No, no, no.
I'm just kidding.

Unless maybe I'm not.

(GROANS SOFTLY)

I just picked up a dead bat

with the hand
that you just put in your mouth.

What? (CHUCKLES)

You... you put...

fucking rabies in my mouth?

Mm, no, let's not jump
to conclusions.

What the fuck, Dan?

Yeah, I... I had my sleeve
ov... over... over my hand.

- The bat looked pretty clean.
- (YELLS)

I need a fucking
rabies shot, Dan,

and a fucking tongue scraper!

- DANIEL: I'm sorry. Um...
- (GAGS)

DANIEL: Wh... I'll...
I'll call the medic, yeah?

We'll get inoculated,
and then... and then we can

just pick up
where we left off. Yeah?

Oh, fuck you! Get out, Dan!
Get out, get out, get out!

Jaz.

Uh, Eric's leaving his trailer.
A walk, a long think and a walk.

No, he can't do that,
because he'll see the set.

- Okay.
- Go, he'll see the set.

We can't...

- Get me some sanitizer!
- ANITA: Call the medic!

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

DANIEL: Hello?

How's that new ending?

Can I just say,
the vibes in here are palpable.

Yeah, palpable, palpable vibes.

We're going for a walk.

Dave needs some vitamin D.

There's only
so many yogurt shots

I can give him, apparently.

- (RAIN POURING)
- Oh, hang on, though.

What's that?

Classic Armenian downpour.

Oh. Coats off.

I'm going to redefine the genre,

even if it kills us,
right, Dave?

Yeah, sounds amazing. Good luck.

(GROANS)

Oh, man,
I wouldn't go out in that.

No way! Not if my life
or career depended on it.

Hoods up.

Right, forecast
is apocalyptic rain

for the next two hours.

And we line up
for the bridge explosion.

DAG: Lighting are a bit
pissed off with me, but sure.

Nice. Uh, could we get
the big boy to smile?

- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
- Nice, that was nearly better.

The boy is tired. He can sit?

Um, cast chairs?

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Uh...

You know he's the reason our coffees
were cold this afternoon?

- ADAM: Oh.
- PETER: Oh my God!

He's sitting
in my fucking chair.

Oh my God, he is!

Ah, it's probably just,
like, the tired thing.

You know, his "condition"
or something.

We're all tired, Adam.

We're in the makeup chair
at 7:00.

Oh, that's it, mother.

In she goes.

Un-fucking-believable.

The death of the movie star,
Adam. I'm serious.

The moment
that lady's cheeks made contact

with the canvas,
a way of life ended.

Hold on to your hats.
It's the Wild Fucking West now.

Hey, Dan! Eric watching?

Yeah, mate, he's...
he's loving the Adam energy.

Okay, can you just show me
A and B positions, please?

- For Eric, so he can see them.
- Dan, they found two more bats.

Sustainability woman
is inspecting them now.

It could shut us down.

- DAG: Dan.
- LANA: (YELLING) Stop!

DANIEL: Oh, shit,
she's coming over.

Okay, calmly but very quickly
line up to shoot.

Tell the demo guy on Dag's cue,
blow the bridge.

One shot at this.

This stunt already cost me
a rabies shot, Dan.

Make it worth it.

♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

LANA: (YELLING) Stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop!

Okay, ready to trigger? Dag?

Dan, I have this.

Say, "Bye-bye, bridge."

DAG: (OVER MICROPHONE)
And... action!

♪ (EPIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(GROANS)

(SHOUTS) Eye!

- Please don't do this!
- PETER: Lava men! Attack!

(GRUNTS)

- God, you're hot! (GRUNTS)
- (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS) Eye!

Please! Wait! Wait!
Can we talk about this?

- Cue it on five...
- Four.

- Three, two...
- PETER: Eye for an eye,

- and now you die!
- ...one!

- (GRUNTS)
- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

(EXPLOSION)

(GRAVEL RUMBLING)

DAG: Oh fuck.

No. No, wrong one.

- Oh, no.
- N... No.

Dan?

This one. Camera team, this one.

- ANITA: That one!
- Film this one!

This one!

Turn the fucking camera around!
(GROANS)

(GRAVEL RUMBLING)

What have you done?
What have I done?

What have you made me done?

Oh, shit.

They blew up the wrong bridge.

(ELECTRONIC WHIRRING)

Let's reset the bridge
and go again.

ANITA: How?

Oh, fuck. No, the...

the sustainability woman,
she was on the bridge.

- (GROANS)
- Holy shit.

We've blown up
a sustainability woman.

(GAGS)

Oh... (SOBS)

- (ANITA PANTING)
- We killed a woman.

Oh no. No, she's there.

(ALL SIGHING IN RELIEF)

- Hi!
- Hi!

- ANITA: You're alive! (GASPS)
- STEPH: Ah,

but she doesn't look very happy.

(BATS SQUEAKING)

Bats.

Loads of bats. They're thriving.

STEPH: I think maybe
they're disorientated

- by the explosions.
- Dan, should we...?

- Shit. Run. Run.
- We...

- (DANIEL GRUNTING)
- (STEPH YELLING)

DAG: This is Dag.
We're being attacked by bats.

God, I think I just destroyed
a heritage site.

No one can know we did this.
Not Pat, not Shane.

If Marty Scorsese
gets fucking wind of this...

Okay, look, as far as I can tell,
there was some confusion.

Oh, yeah, you think?

The explosives guy saw
our cameras were pointing

at the wrong bridge
and he tried to tell Dag, but...

Okay, we're
gonna pay everyone off.

We're gonna erase the DIT drives
and get the fuck out of here.

So long.
Thanks for all the tax credits.

It was from the time
of Charlemagne. The bridge.

Okay, Dag, look,
Anita's right. Yeah?

We're going to protect
our reputations at all costs.

It says it's on their money.

ANITA: Jesus.

DAG: Sorry.
So sorry about the bridge.

It's actually on the back
of the yellow ones

if you ever wanted
to see it again

or show your children.

(IN ARMENIAN)

(IN ENGLISH) You're welcome.

Thanks, Tamaz.

Back-up drives
from the DIT truck.

Erase them. Burn them.
Chuck them in the river.

- Okay.
- And make sure they sink.

- Eric!
- God, what a storm!

- The thunderclaps.
- Hammered it down, didn't it?

I mean, I couldn't believe
what I was seeing.

I had a sleep and an idea.
Maybe fuck Scorsese.

Maybe my old ending was great,

and we just blow
the fucking bridge?

Yeah, we've run out of time.
Um, but how about this?

We blow up the bridge in VFX.
Dave, got a job for you!

- You are fucking joking.
- DANIEL: No, I'm not.

- BRYSON: Daniel?
- Yeah.

The man-boy filmed the bridge explosion
with his phone.

- (SIGHS)
- ♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

TRANSLATOR: (IN ARMENIAN)

SIRANUSH:

♪ (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

INTERVIEWER: (IN ENGLISH)
If you could blow up anything,

what would it be?

United Nations building
in New York.

INTERVIEWER:
What's it like working in VFX?

Uh, it's hell.
Uh, cruel and unforgiving grind.

I cried on my drive home
last night,

and this morning,
I cried on my drive back in.

INTERVIEWER:
Are you very safety conscious?

Yes, safety's
the name of the game.

Safety and extreme volatility
are the names of the game.

INTERVIEWER:
What do you like about your job?

I have a stress hump,

and there are holes in my beard
where the hair won't grow.

Uh, sorry,
what was the question?

INTERVIEWER: How did you
get into the industry?

Well, my father is
a very famous explosion expert.

He blew many things,
including his marriage,

and eventually a caravan
that he was sleeping in.

INTERVIEWER:
I'm so sorry to hear that.

It went really big.

The fire went for three days.

It was really, really,
really bad.

INTERVIEWER: What drives you?

Uh, on several occasions,
an ambulance. (CHUCKLES)

Like, when I fell asleep
on my radiator.

I woke up with griddle marks
across my face. Like bacon.

All the other VFX supervisors
called me Bacon Face.

Covered my desk with bacon.

It was bullying.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪