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1
00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:06,615
Get the stew right up
2
00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:07,920
-under her nose.
Okay. Okay.
3
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:09,270
And let it waft up in.
4
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:10,532
She keeps moving and her hair
5
00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:11,924
keeps getting in the stew.
6
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,013
Guys, hey, guys, guys.
7
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:14,144
You can stop.
8
00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:16,407
Stew has never
woken anyone up, ever.
9
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:17,800
Here, give me-give me stew.
10
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:19,236
- I'll eat it.
All right, fine.
11
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,759
But I feel like the stew...
No, see?
12
00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:22,022
It's... Oh, it worked!
Here she comes!
13
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,762
- Oh!
- Hey, Dee!
14
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:25,590
- Don't worry, Dee...
- Hi, Dee. Was it the stew
that woke you up?
15
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:26,939
Ow. What happened?
16
00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:28,115
Oh, don't worry.
17
00:00:28,158 --> 00:00:30,465
We're, uh, safe and sound
in Patty's Pub.
18
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,510
What? We're back home?
19
00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:33,946
- Oh, no, no, no.
- No.
20
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:35,470
- It's, uh "Patty's" with a T.
Yeah.
21
00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:37,080
- P-A-T-T-Y.
- What is going on?
22
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:39,256
What-what time is it?
What day is it?
23
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,649
Wait, did I miss the thing?
24
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:42,607
- What thing? Oh, the show?
- Uh, the acting thing?
25
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:43,826
- Oh, yeah, you missed it.
- Oh, oh, no.
26
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:45,436
- No.
- Did you still want to do that?
27
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,264
- You still want to do...
That's not gonna happen.
- Oh, no!
28
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:48,570
Oh, goddamn you.
29
00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,180
You're not gonna be able to walk
back to the city
30
00:00:50,224 --> 00:00:51,312
'cause we're way out in the...
31
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,796
What? No!
32
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,844
Oh, goddamn it!
33
00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:06,718
♪ Hey!♪
34
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,914
I cannot believe you guys
did this to me.
35
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:31,439
Dee, can you please be grateful
about this experience?
36
00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:33,832
I mean, take it in, will you?
Uh, here we are.
37
00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,747
We're-we're in
this charming little pub.
38
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:38,098
You can smell fresh peat grass
burning in the fireplace.
39
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:39,708
You know, well,
along with the, uh,
40
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:40,926
the evidence of Frank's
involvement
41
00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:43,190
- in a sex trafficking ring.
- Alleged.
42
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,887
Yeah, Dee, look,
you got to embrace this.
43
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,497
You know?
All you're doing is complaining.
44
00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:49,326
This place is amazing.
45
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:50,501
With the exception
of all the sheep wool.
46
00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:51,850
Is that bothering anybody else?
47
00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:53,765
No, because we don't have COVID
like you do.
48
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:55,767
- You're sick.
- No, I don't have COVID.
49
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,029
Even the beer here sucks.
50
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,553
Will you look at this?
It's all foam.
51
00:01:58,596 --> 00:01:59,902
What are you doing?
52
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,383
Oh. Sorry.
53
00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,080
We-we run our own bar,
54
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,690
- so I forget and sometimes
I serve myself.
- Huh.
55
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,344
- I'm just gonna squeak by you.
- Hmm.
56
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,259
Actually, while I got you here,
pal, can I ask you a question?
57
00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:10,956
Do you know a fella
in this town,
58
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,784
goes by the name
of Shelley Kelly?
59
00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:14,003
Yeah, everybody knows him.
60
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:16,005
He's the, uh, local,
uh, cheesemonger.
61
00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:17,659
Oh...
62
00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:20,140
H-He's the, uh...
cheese mongrel. Wow.
63
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,663
I did not know he was a mongrel.
64
00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:22,968
Um, how severe is it?
65
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:25,188
Can-can he walk?
Does he drool, or...
66
00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:27,364
- Monger, Charlie. Cheesemonger.
Cheesemonger.
67
00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:29,410
Mon... Cheese...
Why are you saying it that way?
68
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,368
Is he a mongrel or a monster?
That's all I want to know.
69
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:33,805
- I wonder if he's cute.
- Who?
70
00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:34,980
Your brother,
the cheese monster.
71
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,895
Do not have sex
with my brother, Mac.
72
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,593
You know,
when I was Irish first,
73
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,943
then I-then I wanted to
find out what my heritage was.
74
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,598
But now that I'm gay first,
and that's my identity,
75
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:46,166
then maybe I should just
be plowing a bunch of dudes,
76
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,385
- and-and maybe a bunch of
cheese monsters. I don't know.
- Aw, come on, man.
77
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:49,908
- Stop! Would you just...
- There's gay or badass.
Let it go, Mac!
78
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,128
You need to shut up, okay?
79
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,651
Identity doesn't have to factor
80
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:55,392
into absolutely
every decision you make.
81
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,394
All right? If a man wants
to stand, he doesn't go,
82
00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:58,874
"Uh, uh, what would
a Dutchman do?
83
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,484
Would a Dutchman stand?" Okay?
84
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,617
And if-if an Italian wants
to eat a sandwich,
85
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,532
he doesn't go, "I have to eat
plates of spaghetti
86
00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:05,750
because I'm an Italian."
87
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:07,752
He just eats
the goddamn sandwich.
88
00:03:07,796 --> 00:03:09,406
Okay? Oh, you fool.
89
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:11,756
If you want to go out and bang
every single guy in Ireland,
90
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,367
just go bang every guy
in Ireland
91
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,238
and forget what your identity
has to do with it.
92
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,066
Or you could just find one guy,
93
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:18,328
fall in love,
get in a relationship
94
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:19,721
and shut the hell up about it.
95
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,592
- Please stop doing that.
- Oh, come on, man!
96
00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:24,508
If I got to stop mid-rant every
time I want to order a beer,
97
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,206
i-it's gonna interrupt my flow.
98
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:28,251
Right? Why don't you just keep
track of what we're drinking
99
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,210
and charge it to
our individual rooms.
100
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:31,515
Oh, there's only one room.
101
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:32,821
- Hmm?
Yeah.
102
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:35,084
One room? Wha...
How's that gonna work?
103
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,086
- Nah, that's good.
- That's good?
104
00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:38,392
All of us crammed in
one wool-infested room--
105
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:39,654
that sounds good to you?
106
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,960
You want an authentic
European experience.
107
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,135
- That's what it is.
- Well, no, that...
108
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,441
That's too authentic, okay?
109
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:46,226
I'm not-I'm not...
I'm not staying here.
110
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,140
I'm gonna rent a castle.
111
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,881
- Well, wait for me.
I'm not staying, either.
112
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,970
I'll tell you what, I'm not
paying for this beer, okay?
113
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,711
'Cause you can barely swallow
this sludge.
114
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:06,594
- Oh, oh, Dennis, hey.
115
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,291
You should let me do
the talking in there, okay?
116
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,511
Why?
- Why?
117
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,121
'Cause if you cough in there,
they're not gonna rent us
118
00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:13,818
the castle 'cause they're
gonna know you have COVID.
119
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,559
Dee, you bitch.
I don't have COVID.
120
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,300
Okay? I'm not gonna
cough in there.
121
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:19,650
You-you think I can't
pinch off a cough?
122
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:20,869
I will do the talking.
123
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,267
Oh.
Hi there.
124
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,920
- Beautiful day, isn't it? Huh?
125
00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:30,444
G-Grand, as you say.
126
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:33,621
I think what they say
is, "Top o' the mornin'."
127
00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:35,144
Ah, that's a stereotype. Yeah.
128
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:38,016
Excuse my sister, she's, uh,
not very good at talking.
129
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:41,542
Um, so we're actually here
looking f...
130
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,110
- Uh-oh.
131
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:46,503
Oh, gosh.
132
00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,026
You okay there, Dennis?
133
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:52,204
- Uh, ah...
134
00:04:52,248 --> 00:04:54,119
Huh. Looks like I'll be doing
the talking.
135
00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,426
- No.
- Uh, we would be looking
for a castle,
136
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:59,211
and we are very interested
in modern amenities, please.
137
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:02,345
You know, your thermostats and
your remotes and shit like that.
138
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,347
Ar-Are you jotting
any of this down?
139
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,349
- Yeah, yeah, right. So... Sorry.
140
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,090
You caught me
a little off guard, is all.
141
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,700
So, you're-you're looking
for a castle?
142
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,876
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
143
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,878
- Is he all right?
144
00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:16,228
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
145
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:17,360
Yeah, he's okay.
146
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:19,928
Well, yes and no.
147
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:22,844
- You know what it is?
He's a mongrel.
148
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,541
No.
149
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:26,108
And that's why I've always
been the talker.
150
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:27,675
Bitch. Bitch.
- Oh, boy, did you hear that?
151
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,851
- Yep, here-here he goes.
Here he goes.
152
00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:32,332
Yeah. We have to keep him
in the basement in America,
153
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:36,379
'cause one of his ticks is that
he brutally masturbates himself.
154
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,512
No, no.
- Oh, yeah.
155
00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:40,557
- Yeah, he-he does
a real number on it.
156
00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,429
Yeah.
He-he's shredded it down
157
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:44,474
- to a little tiny nub
at this point.
- No!
158
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:45,867
Is what it is.
No, no. He's saying,
159
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,173
"Down there,
there's barely anything left."
160
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,697
Damn it!
- That's what he's saying.
161
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:51,046
There's nothing left down there.
162
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:53,396
- Yeah, so, um,
163
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,572
I don't see you doing
a lot of castle searching.
164
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:06,801
Bitch.
165
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:09,064
He's also allergic to sheep.
166
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:16,506
Go on, go on, out.
167
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:19,422
Get out, you bastards!
168
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,772
- Out.
- Hello, sir?
169
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:24,253
Oh, sorry.
I was, uh...
170
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:26,168
Just bashing some rats.
171
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:27,865
I get it. It's cool.
Don't worry about it.
172
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:29,650
I bash a lot of rats
in my business, too.
173
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,303
And-and rats love cheese,
174
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:33,262
- so I imagine y-you get
a lot of 'em here.
175
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,742
- This is, like,
the place for rats.
- Yeah, yeah.
176
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:36,396
Well, how can I help you?
177
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,746
Uh, right, well,
uh, I'm looking for, uh,
178
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:41,139
a young man named Shelley Kelly.
Is he around?
179
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:44,055
I'm Shelley Kelly.
Who's asking?
180
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,970
Oh. I'm sorry. I...
181
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,798
I'm looking for a-a younger man.
182
00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:49,757
Uh, I'm looking for
the young Shelley Kelly.
183
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,323
Is he around?
184
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,325
Hey, you-you mind if I sample
some of your jellies?
185
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,502
- Oh, no. Go on. Help yourself.
- Ah.
186
00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:57,547
- Delightful.
187
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,375
Well, I'm...
188
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,899
I'm the only Shelley Kelly
around here that I know of.
189
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:03,945
- Uh...
Ooh.
190
00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:06,948
This is the tits right here.
191
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,993
- Yeah, no, that...
that doesn't make sense.
192
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:11,605
See-see, Shelley Kelly
is a-is a kid like me.
193
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:12,649
Uh, we're pen pals.
194
00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:16,000
Sweet Jesus.
195
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,175
Charlie?
196
00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:19,351
Ugh. That's a miss.
197
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:20,831
It's got something in it
like sand.
198
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,138
It's full of sand.
Ech.
199
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:24,661
Yeah, I... I'm Charlie.
200
00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:25,923
Mmm. I know what it is.
201
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:27,011
It's seeds.
202
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:28,360
Is there seeds in it?
203
00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:29,666
And there's too many of 'em.
204
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,408
There's a lot of seeds.
205
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:06,529
It was a bad one.
206
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:07,878
That's buried in there.
207
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:10,141
That's gonna be in there
all week. Oh, God.
208
00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:13,493
What'd I miss?
209
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:18,585
Hello! Hello... Hello?
210
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,761
Oh, Father, Father, Father,
I've got news.
211
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:22,719
I've got wonderful news.
212
00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:25,896
Okay, so, I used to be Irish,
213
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,419
and now I'm Dutch.
214
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,073
Of course, I was badass
the entire time,
215
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,553
but when you surround yourself
216
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,163
with people who aren't
as badass as you,
217
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,861
that tends to be
quite isolating.
218
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,951
The point is I was confused.
219
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:39,257
To be honest with you, I wanted
to run through a bunch of pipe,
220
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:41,259
if you know what I mean...
Well, you know what I mean.
221
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,610
But then I decided,
you know what?
222
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:46,569
I only want
one man inside of me.
223
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,745
The Big Man.
The Big Man upstairs.
224
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,355
The only man
that can fill me up.
225
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,576
Well, and his son.
And the Holy Spirit.
226
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,143
I'll take all three of them
at once.
227
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:56,666
I've done that before.
228
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,755
That was more in a physical
sense, not a spiritual one.
229
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:01,105
And believe me, it was messy.
230
00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:03,064
Totally worth it, though.
I loved it.
231
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:05,632
Either way, Father,
what I have decided is that
232
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:08,548
the most important aspect
of my identity--
233
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,027
it's not being gay.
234
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,203
It's not being Irish.
It's not being badass.
235
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,162
It's being Catholic.
236
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,599
Therefore, I want to become
237
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,601
a Catholic priest!
238
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:24,128
- Well, that's nice to hear.
239
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:27,567
But perhaps we could talk
at a more appropriate time.
240
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,267
Oh.
241
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:34,095
Uh... Yeah. Sorry.
Sorry, everybody.
242
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,400
I'll just get
in the back of the line,
243
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,619
and then, uh, get the cracker,
244
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:37,968
and then we'll talk later.
245
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:39,230
Okay.
246
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,322
Oh, goddamn it,
what the hell is this?
247
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,324
That realtor screwed us.
248
00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,370
Probably because
you caused a scene.
249
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:51,112
What are you talking about, Dee?
This-this place is amazing.
250
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,635
I mean, I saw
an old bell tower outside
251
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,158
and what I think
used to be a moat.
252
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:55,725
Okay, this place is perfect.
253
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:57,553
- This place is not perfect.
254
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,511
It's a ruin.
We can't sleep here.
255
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:01,644
Wh... Dee, I'm sure
there's, like, a furnished area
256
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,168
with, like, bedrooms and shit
somewhere. I mean, what, do you,
257
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,343
what, do you want
to walk into a castle...
258
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,997
and have it feel like a Hyatt?
259
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,651
I mean, where's the charm
in that?
260
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,262
Whoa.
This place has a dark past.
261
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,787
Murder, betrayal, beheadings.
262
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,006
Well, you know,
it's a castle, Dee.
263
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,182
You know, people were going
crazy in castles all the time.
264
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:20,054
And beheading people--
well, that-that was just
265
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,534
their way of solving problems
back then, you know.
266
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:24,188
That's tenth century
charm for you.
267
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,537
- Yeah.
268
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,931
Yeah, this was in 2008.
269
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:30,238
Two... What?
- Yeah. A mother
270
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:33,023
went insane and beheaded
all four children.
271
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:35,896
- Just chopped their heads
right off.
- Well, that-that is...
272
00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:37,941
- that's decidedly
less charming, isn't it?
- It's a little less charming.
273
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:39,943
I'm not sleeping here, Dennis.
It's very creepy.
274
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:41,379
No, Dee. This is gonna be great.
Trust me.
275
00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:42,598
This is gon-this is gonna
be awesome, okay?
276
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,773
Just...
277
00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:45,296
I don't care for
all the sheep, though.
278
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:46,471
That's-that's my only thing.
279
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:47,864
All... all what sheep?
280
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:50,388
- We haven't seen a sheep.
- The sheep, the sheep.
281
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,999
I-I'm sure they've been
passing through, and that's...
282
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:53,391
Thr... They've been passing
through the... into the castle?
283
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,393
Well, why else would
I be coughing and wheezing?
284
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,047
You have COVID.
285
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,875
To Charlie, my son.
286
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:01,661
To the dad I didn't know I had.
287
00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:05,490
Well, I'm just sorry that
288
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:07,710
I didn't get a chance
to see you growing up.
289
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:08,885
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
290
00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:10,452
And for what it's worth,
291
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,149
I did love your mother.
292
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,281
So did I.
293
00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:15,196
We all did.
294
00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:16,414
A wonderful woman.
295
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:17,720
I banged her, too.
296
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,983
All right, well, Mom got around.
297
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,637
Well, yeah.
298
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,639
Hey, this is jammed in there.
299
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,641
What do you call it?
What is that?
300
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,947
A lingonberry seed or something?
301
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,688
The important thing
is you're here now.
302
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,733
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah. And I don't want to waste
any more time.
303
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:32,430
No, neither do I.
I mean, God, I've...
304
00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,606
I've always had
so many questions, you know?
305
00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:37,087
About who I am
and where I come from.
306
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:39,263
- And my-my...
307
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:42,266
My-my family heritage,
and-and, uh...
308
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,790
- You know, it's good to have
some truth about...
309
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,182
Will you stop?!
You're just...
310
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:46,618
You're sucking
and slurping away.
311
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:48,098
I'm trying to have
a conversation
312
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:49,970
- with my father.
- It's jammed in there, Charlie.
313
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,667
- I don't care,
go to the bathroom...
- I can't get it out.
314
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,364
- I'm gonna need a jackhammer.
- You're using a screw.
315
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,410
You're embarrassing me
in front of my dad here, man.
316
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:56,933
Sorry about him.
317
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:59,849
Charlie, I'm just glad
that you're sitting here now.
318
00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:01,329
Yeah.
319
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:12,775
♪ My boy has found me,
and now I'm glad♪
320
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,302
Yeah, I get it.
321
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:21,653
♪ A dad I didn't know I had♪
322
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:26,963
♪ The first time round
is a bitter pill♪
323
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:31,402
♪ But the second chance
is better still♪
324
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:35,145
♪ And then we find
new seeds to sow♪
325
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:38,235
♪ To grow our love
we didn't know♪
326
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,587
♪ The Kelly lads,
the Kelly boys♪
327
00:12:42,631 --> 00:12:44,894
♪ We drink and laugh
and make our noise♪
328
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:47,592
♪ We'll sync right up
with all our songs♪
329
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:50,291
♪ So come ahead and join along♪
330
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,510
♪ Hooray! Hurrah!♪
331
00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:55,035
♪ A fiddle-dee-doo,
a fiddle-da-da♪
332
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:57,820
♪ The Kelly lads,
the Kelly boys♪
333
00:12:57,864 --> 00:12:59,909
♪ They drink and laugh
and make their noise♪
334
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:04,479
♪ We sync right up
with all their songs♪
335
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:07,830
♪ So come ahead
and join along.♪
336
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:13,488
♪ And I am Frank,
and I factor in somehow.♪
337
00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:15,620
- Aw, I shouldn't have
used a screw.
- Jesus, Frank.
338
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:18,145
- Aw, I'm gonna...
- Go to the bathroom
and clean it up.
339
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:20,712
- Go, go. You're embarrassing me.
- Where's the bathroom?
340
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:27,415
Walking this path
is a serious commitment.
341
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:30,287
One that requires
considerable training.
342
00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:33,682
Oh, Father, look, I-I've been
S'ing and F'ing
343
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,684
my way through life
for far too long.
344
00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,947
I think it's time that
I started sucking down
345
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,296
the words of the Bible.
346
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,342
And instead of looking for
pieces of ass,
347
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:42,734
I'd just look for peace.
348
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:44,954
Well, your language
leaves a bit to be desired,
349
00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:47,957
but your heart's
in the right place.
350
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:50,003
I think.
351
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:54,224
So, to truly understand
what this life is like,
352
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:57,706
you need to spend some time
with someone who's living it.
353
00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:01,405
Brother Thomas, I'd like you
to meet someone.
354
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:08,891
♪ And I can't fight
this feeling anymore♪
355
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,762
♪ I've forgotten what I♪
356
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:15,071
♪ Started fighting for♪
357
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:19,815
♪ It's time to bring this ship
into the shore♪
358
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,513
♪ And throw away the oars♪
359
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,994
♪ Forever♪
360
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,694
♪ 'Cause I can't
fight this feeling♪
361
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:33,481
♪ Anymore♪
362
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:36,136
-♪ I've forgotten.♪
- Not him. Give me somebody else.
363
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:40,662
- I'm sorry?
- Father...
364
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:43,404
I-I'm gonna be alone
in the seminary
365
00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:44,709
with him, in the rectory?
366
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,755
I mean, these are very
triggering words.
367
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,844
I will S and F him
into oblivion.
368
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,542
I mean, he looks like
Paul Bunyan.
369
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:54,284
I need more of, like, a...
Elmer Fudd. You got any Fudds?
370
00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:56,417
Let me take a look.
371
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,114
Oh, yeah. What about this guy?
What's his story?
372
00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,637
Gus?
373
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:02,336
Gus? Yeah, I ain't
falling in love with Gus.
374
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,338
Gimme him.
375
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:05,861
Sure.
376
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:16,219
See, Dee?
The bedroom's perfect.
377
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:21,964
Dude, I think
you need a ventilator.
378
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:24,053
I just need
a good night's sleep.
379
00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:26,708
Just go to bed.
380
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,978
I agree with you, I just...
381
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,675
Well, I don't know
what to do with her.
382
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:44,987
- What?
- What?
383
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,511
Who you talking to?
384
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,992
Nobody.
You're hearing things Dee.
385
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:54,736
I think what I'm hearing
is fluid fill up your lungs.
386
00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:58,653
Dee, just go to bed.
387
00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:00,742
Okay.
388
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:10,012
It has to be tonight?
389
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,753
Okay, Dennis,
I don't like that.
390
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,276
I don't like it.
391
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:18,020
I'm not even talking to you.
I'm talking to the castle.
392
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,805
You're talking to the castle?
393
00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:24,244
I-Is it talking back?
394
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:26,594
Dee, just go to bed!
395
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:38,258
It's the hair, by the way.
396
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,347
Okay, n...
397
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:43,045
right now, are you
talking to me or the castle?
398
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:45,265
You.
399
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:48,224
We were talking about
beheadings earlier.
400
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:52,620
- It's the hair.
- What's the hair?
401
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:55,405
Well, that's the trouble
with heads, isn't it?
402
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:58,017
The hair's not authentic.
403
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,367
It's... it's been tampered with.
404
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:03,761
That's why there's no smell.
It's a... it's a lie.
405
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,461
The hair is on the head.
406
00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:10,290
The hair is a lie,
and therefore,
407
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:13,771
it's better to just
remove the head altogether.
408
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:16,035
Okay. Okay, Dennis,
you're very, very sick,
409
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:18,211
- and you need to go
to the hospital.
- Silence!
410
00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:26,088
Dee, I can't breathe.
I need to go to the hospital.
411
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:27,872
Yeah, no shit!
412
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,787
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna call us an ambulance
413
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:30,962
- and get us out of here.
- Yeah.
414
00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:32,790
No, no, my phone's dead.
415
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,966
Oh, there's no electricity
in this goddamn place.
416
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,446
Then go get the car
and drive me.
417
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:37,795
The car's out of gas.
418
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:39,145
Then ring the bell!
419
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,103
What bell?
420
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,452
Go to the old bell tower
421
00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:45,455
and ring the goddamn bell,
you bitch!
422
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:48,806
Oh, God, um...
423
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:53,594
Goddamn it.
Where's the stupid bell tower?
424
00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:54,986
No. No, no, no, no.
425
00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:56,684
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
426
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,512
- Oh!
427
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:00,122
- Oh... Oh!
428
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:03,647
Oh, oh, oh...
429
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:06,824
Aah! Get off me!
Get off me!
430
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:08,913
Okay...
431
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:14,615
- Hello?
432
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:15,659
Who is that?
433
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:22,666
Your head is a lie.
434
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:25,582
Dennis?
What are you doing?
435
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:29,151
You've tampered with it, and...
436
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,848
we won't stand for it
any longer.
437
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:35,157
Oh, D... Dennis, this is just
the COVID talking, okay?
438
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:36,463
You're hallucinating.
439
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:39,857
I don't have COVID.
440
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:49,780
No, Dennis, please.
441
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:52,914
Please, Dennis, it's me.
Snap out of it.
442
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,965
So, that's the house.
443
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:02,141
- Wow.
- Oh, this place
444
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:04,360
- is charming as shit.
- Yeah.
445
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,319
- Dennis would be creaming
in his pants if he saw this.
- Yeah.
446
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:08,147
Right, well, uh,
language, Frank,
447
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,149
- you know, 'cause
we're guests, so, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
448
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,802
It's a lovely home.
449
00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:14,718
Uh, are you sure okay
with us staying the night?
450
00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:16,720
Oh, I insist.
Yeah.
451
00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:18,374
I have a spare room
is down the hall,
452
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,115
and, uh, I set up a cot
for you there.
453
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,422
Oh, well, we'll take the cot.
454
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,946
Y... You'll both
sleep on the cot?
455
00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:29,559
Uh, I think I'd rather
take the bedroom, Frank.
456
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:32,083
Won't you get lonely in there?
What if it gets cold?
457
00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:33,259
Oh, there are plenty
of blankets.
458
00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:34,564
What if I poop the bed?
459
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:36,436
Who's gonna be in there
to laugh with me?
460
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,786
- What? You might shit the bed?
- No, no, no.
461
00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:40,309
If that's the case,
I have other sheets.
462
00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:42,224
- No, no, no, he won't.
- One time.
463
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,531
- It was fun...
- There was a one-time incident,
464
00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:45,923
- It was a fun thing.
- and it was a joke,
465
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,229
and it really
wasn't that funny, so...
466
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,405
- It wasn't?
- Uh, no.
467
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:51,973
- I thought you thought
it was funny.
- Nope.
468
00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:53,931
Well, uh, I'm heading off.
469
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,411
Yeah. Sounds good.
470
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:57,805
- Good night.
- Yeah, yeah.
471
00:19:57,848 --> 00:20:00,982
Hey, um, good night...
472
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,593
...Dad.
473
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:06,509
Oh.
Good night, son.
474
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:17,607
- Oh, seed! I got you.
- Yeah?
475
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,609
I found you, seed.
Look at it.
476
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:22,264
- I coughed it out.
- Yeah. Gross. Yeah.
477
00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:25,398
Oh. I thought
you'd be happy for me.
478
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:28,618
Uh, sure, I guess.
Sure.
479
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:31,795
Oh.
I should eat it again.
480
00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:34,755
Then it would be funny 'cause
I didn't learn my lesson.
481
00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:36,060
No, that wouldn't be funny.
482
00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:37,540
It'd just be kind of dumb,
you know.
483
00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:40,108
Oh.
484
00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:42,937
Um...
485
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:44,982
I think-I think
I'm gonna go to bed.
486
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,593
- All right.
- Yeah.
487
00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:48,421
- Uh...
- So you're gonna
stay in the room?
488
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:50,161
- Yeah, I'm gonna go to bed
in here and...
- I-I'll stay...
489
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,946
I'll stay on the...
I'll stay on the... All right.
490
00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:54,470
Good night, Frank.
491
00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:55,776
Good night, Charlie.
492
00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:11,661
Good night, Charlie.
34477
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