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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:11,759 --> 00:00:14,679 (light rock music) 4 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:18,813 - So, my ideal guy, 5 00:00:18,879 --> 00:00:22,773 at least six foot or more, lots of muscles. (giggling) 6 00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:24,453 At least a hundred kilos, 7 00:00:24,519 --> 00:00:26,214 and plenty of money. 8 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:29,613 My current boyfriend, 5'9, 75 kilos. 9 00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:31,920 - Oh, tell me about it, babe. 10 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:35,399 - Cheers man. 11 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,053 M'lady. 12 00:00:39,119 --> 00:00:39,960 - Why, thank you. 13 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:43,894 - Did you get any of that? 14 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,134 - Yes, riveting conversation. 15 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,880 - So, my ideal woman, she's beautiful, 16 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,854 And, uhh. And she likes jazz, 17 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,293 she's a reader, she's smart. 18 00:00:56,359 --> 00:00:58,254 An IQ of at least 140. 19 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,653 - Oh, that is just typical of you, Simon. 20 00:01:01,719 --> 00:01:03,854 You have all these unrealistic expectations 21 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,334 and then as soon as you have a few drinks, 22 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,093 you will be in the bed of the next bimbo that passes by. 23 00:01:07,159 --> 00:01:08,774 - What are you talking about? 24 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,173 I was with Amy for like, three years. 25 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,134 - And you broke up last year. 26 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,774 - [Simon] And before that there was Jenna. 27 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,334 - That was uni, that was like seven years ago! 28 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,854 Didn't she star in a pirate themed porno or something? 29 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,293 - Hmm. 30 00:01:23,359 --> 00:01:25,040 "Wank the Plank" volume nine. 31 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,760 Saddest wank I've ever had. 32 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,574 - You're better off without her. 33 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,173 She's probably stuck in some loveless marriage 34 00:01:34,239 --> 00:01:35,079 by now anyway. 35 00:01:36,239 --> 00:01:38,974 She was just another one of those dumb, stunted girls 36 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,934 you claim to hate yet can't seem 37 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,159 to keep your hands off. 38 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,494 - Are you guys talking about Jenna? 39 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:47,400 - Maybe. 40 00:01:48,319 --> 00:01:49,614 - I saw her the other day. 41 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,614 - Yeah? How'd she look? 42 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:52,680 - Like 40. 43 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,293 She was with one of those douchey gym guys. 44 00:01:57,359 --> 00:01:59,494 - Mmm, douchey gym guy. 45 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,159 Ring any bells? - Hmm, interesting. 46 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,893 - You know those girls who tan all the time? 47 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:08,719 And their skin gets all like saggy and leatherlike? 48 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,919 - Oh, that could have been my future. 49 00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:14,520 Lucky I got out when I did. 50 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,334 - Pardon? 51 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:17,413 - Lucky I got out when I did? 52 00:02:17,479 --> 00:02:19,253 - You mean she dumped your sorry arse 53 00:02:19,319 --> 00:02:20,494 and you cried about it for a year. 54 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,693 - What are you talking about? 55 00:02:21,759 --> 00:02:24,253 It was a very mutual breakup. 56 00:02:24,319 --> 00:02:25,774 She wanted to see other people, 57 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,520 I wanted to see other people. 58 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,853 - Wasn't she in a pirate themed porno once? 59 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,214 - Yes, "Wank the Plank" volume nine. 60 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:34,599 - That's the one. 61 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,680 Weirdest wank I've ever had. 62 00:02:40,319 --> 00:02:41,774 And then there was Amy! 63 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,879 - Hmm, wow, time flies, huh? 64 00:02:45,319 --> 00:02:46,159 Seriously. 65 00:02:47,479 --> 00:02:49,599 I'm really ready to get back out there. 66 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,294 I'm going to find the one, all right? 67 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,294 - I could introduce you to some easy gym babes if you want. 68 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,373 - (sighing) That works too. 69 00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,774 - God, men! 70 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,334 So easily distracted. 71 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,614 Their personality dissolves when they see a pretty girl 72 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,413 and they turn into mindless zombies. 73 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:08,494 - Hi, Mitch. 74 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:09,413 - Hey, Beth. 75 00:03:09,479 --> 00:03:11,853 - Hey! Hey, Beth. 76 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:13,533 - You must be Simon. 77 00:03:13,599 --> 00:03:15,614 Mitch has told me so much about you. 78 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,133 - Really? 79 00:03:17,199 --> 00:03:18,693 All bad, I presume. 80 00:03:18,759 --> 00:03:20,693 - Beth's my favourite client from the gym. 81 00:03:20,759 --> 00:03:22,400 - Do you work out? 82 00:03:23,319 --> 00:03:25,894 - Yeah, yeah, every now and then. 83 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,039 - I can tell. 84 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,039 Oh man, I need another drink. 85 00:03:33,319 --> 00:03:34,533 - Allow me. 86 00:03:34,599 --> 00:03:36,734 You are far too pretty to be buying your own drinks. 87 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,639 - Thank you. 88 00:03:45,719 --> 00:03:46,693 - Really? 89 00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,133 - What? 90 00:03:48,199 --> 00:03:49,573 She's hot. 91 00:03:49,639 --> 00:03:52,199 Oh come on, he needs a good lay. 92 00:03:57,039 --> 00:03:58,093 - [Blair] Simon! 93 00:03:58,159 --> 00:03:59,454 - Hey, buddy! 94 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,294 I'm gonna catch up. - Hey! 95 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,800 - I'm gonna go home with that. 96 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,693 - Okay. 97 00:04:06,759 --> 00:04:10,014 Whatever happened to settling down and finding the one? 98 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:10,919 - Blair. 99 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,734 What if she is the one? (laughing) 100 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:16,879 I don't know. 101 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,439 This is the best night of my life! 102 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,680 (birds chirping in distance) 103 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:49,974 (thudding) 104 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,294 (Simon whimpering) 105 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,839 (kooky music) 106 00:05:28,319 --> 00:05:30,494 - Hey man, I'm Steve. 107 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,654 You must be the new guy. 108 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,054 - [Simon] Simon, nice to meet you. 109 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,693 What do you mean new guy? 110 00:05:35,759 --> 00:05:37,079 - Morning, guys. 111 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,680 Oh, Simon, Steve, Steve, Simon. 112 00:05:47,879 --> 00:05:49,174 He's my boyfriend, silly. 113 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,133 - Boyfriend? Man, I didn't know, I swear. 114 00:05:52,199 --> 00:05:53,813 - Well, one of them. 115 00:05:53,879 --> 00:05:55,333 - What? 116 00:05:55,399 --> 00:05:56,854 How many boyfriends do you have? 117 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:57,813 - Seven. 118 00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,439 One for each day of the week. 119 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,133 Didn't I tell you that last night? 120 00:06:02,199 --> 00:06:03,333 - No, you didn't. 121 00:06:03,399 --> 00:06:05,253 - Pretty sure I did. 122 00:06:05,319 --> 00:06:08,934 Okay, well, Steve is my Sunday boyfriend. 123 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,813 He cooks the best breakfast after my Saturday nights out. 124 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,373 - Morning. - Morning. 125 00:06:15,439 --> 00:06:17,494 - Hey, man. You must be the new guy. 126 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,974 I'm Shaun. 127 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,013 - [Beth] Shaun's my Friday boyfriend. 128 00:06:21,079 --> 00:06:23,333 - So what's he doing here today? 129 00:06:23,399 --> 00:06:25,693 - [Beth] All my boyfriends live with me, silly. 130 00:06:25,759 --> 00:06:27,160 - Oh, of course. 131 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,893 - [Beth] He gives the best foot rubs. 132 00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:32,094 So good for Friday nights. 133 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,160 And you, you're number eight. 134 00:06:35,199 --> 00:06:37,013 - That's a pretty good gig if you can get it. 135 00:06:37,079 --> 00:06:38,494 - Yeah. 136 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,693 - So what makes me qualified for that role? 137 00:06:40,759 --> 00:06:43,773 - Well, you're so insecure and downtrodden. 138 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:47,253 So we could just snuggle up and talk about our problems 139 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,120 and how sad you are. 140 00:06:51,199 --> 00:06:53,480 - I'm not insecure and downtrodden. 141 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,560 - Sup? - Hey Seth. 142 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:57,879 - Come on! 143 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,734 - Aw, what's wrong, baby? 144 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,974 - Do your boyfriends see other people? 145 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,133 - Oh god, no. 146 00:07:05,199 --> 00:07:07,680 I would just die if any of them cheated on me. 147 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,453 You guys wouldn't cheat on me, would you? 148 00:07:10,519 --> 00:07:11,414 - Of course not. 149 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,319 - No, babe. - Are we out of milk? 150 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:19,013 - Simon, you're being really weird about this. 151 00:07:19,079 --> 00:07:21,734 You're so old-fashioned. 152 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,373 This is how relationships work these days. 153 00:07:24,439 --> 00:07:26,854 - You have all of these guys serving you. 154 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,094 They make you breakfast, they give you massages, 155 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,720 they fucking live with you? 156 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,519 What's in it for them? 157 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,519 - Well, me. 158 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,680 Isn't that enough? 159 00:07:43,639 --> 00:07:46,319 (Simon sighing) 160 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,519 - What was all that about? 161 00:08:17,319 --> 00:08:19,839 (light music) 162 00:10:09,879 --> 00:10:11,000 - Fuck Off! 163 00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:24,559 (ticking) 164 00:10:30,519 --> 00:10:35,414 (panting) (ominous music) 165 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,720 (steps rumbling) 166 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:45,519 (typewriter clacking and dinging) 167 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,039 - 27. 168 00:10:51,639 --> 00:10:53,080 Graphic Designer. 169 00:10:54,799 --> 00:10:56,559 I don't like coffee. 170 00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,440 What else? 171 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:01,799 - Say you like animals. 172 00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:04,693 What? 173 00:11:04,759 --> 00:11:06,453 I can't believe you didn't ask me to help with this. 174 00:11:06,519 --> 00:11:08,559 It's gonna be so much fun. 175 00:11:10,519 --> 00:11:11,360 - I don't... 176 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:13,279 Hmm, okay. 177 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,399 I love animals. 178 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:21,279 Though I currently don't have any pets. 179 00:11:22,879 --> 00:11:23,879 Unless... 180 00:11:26,039 --> 00:11:27,333 You count my housemates, hmm? 181 00:11:27,399 --> 00:11:28,440 - Oh my god. 182 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,399 - What are you guys up to? 183 00:11:38,639 --> 00:11:41,294 - Simon is setting up an online dating account. 184 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,534 - Finally. 185 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,440 - I know, right? 186 00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:46,799 - Tell them you have a tiny penis. 187 00:11:49,159 --> 00:11:49,973 What? 188 00:11:50,039 --> 00:11:52,054 I use that line all the time. 189 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,973 They feel sorry for you and toss you a pity fuck. 190 00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:57,853 And then when they see it, it exceeds their expectations 191 00:11:57,919 --> 00:12:00,333 and it's a pleasant surprise. 192 00:12:00,399 --> 00:12:01,240 - No, just no! 193 00:12:02,919 --> 00:12:05,374 - I'm telling you guys, that's how you get chicks. 194 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,919 Set their expectations really low. 195 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:12,254 - Well, the last time Simon followed your advice, 196 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,240 it didn't exactly go well for him. 197 00:12:15,159 --> 00:12:16,559 - What are you referring to? 198 00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:18,360 - Last night. 199 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,200 Beth. 200 00:12:21,759 --> 00:12:23,240 - She has seven boyfriends. 201 00:12:24,879 --> 00:12:25,720 - Oh yeah. 202 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:27,853 Knew there was something important 203 00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:29,519 I forgot to tell you about her. 204 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:34,559 - Let me. 205 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,254 - Oh, no, that was only one time! 206 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,654 Come on! - And, submit! 207 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,399 - Wait, no! No, no. 208 00:12:48,039 --> 00:12:50,679 - Okay. - Let's look at your matches. 209 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,039 Matches, ooh! 210 00:12:53,919 --> 00:12:54,879 She looks cute. 211 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,720 - She looks like my sister. 212 00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:03,639 - How about her? 213 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,534 - She looks like my sister's dog. 214 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:07,440 - Simon! 215 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,639 Ah, how about this one? 216 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,573 - I don't like redheads. 217 00:13:15,639 --> 00:13:17,039 - Ah, okay. 218 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,279 Ooh, this one's cute. 219 00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:25,639 - Doesn't she have really weird eyelashes? 220 00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:30,174 - I think you're gonna have to be a little less picky 221 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:31,973 if you really wanna meet a nice girl. 222 00:13:32,039 --> 00:13:35,174 - What is wrong with having high standards? 223 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,774 - (sighing) Ooh, okay. 224 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,014 Jane. 225 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:43,414 She's a receptionist at a big law firm. 226 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,414 She collects vinyl. 227 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,039 She has two dogs. 228 00:13:49,399 --> 00:13:50,679 - She looks okay. 229 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,093 Hey Mitch? 230 00:13:57,159 --> 00:13:58,414 - [Mitch] Yeah? 231 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,000 - We have any more beers left? 232 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:03,853 - [Mitch] Yeah. 233 00:14:03,919 --> 00:14:05,600 - Cool, this wine taste like piss. 234 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,453 - [Blair] Hello Jane, I read through your profile 235 00:14:21,519 --> 00:14:23,093 and couldn't resist saying hello. 236 00:14:23,159 --> 00:14:25,134 Having any luck with this crazy online thing, 237 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,213 or just the usual desperados? 238 00:14:27,279 --> 00:14:29,213 - [Jane] Hi, Simon, no luck so far. 239 00:14:29,279 --> 00:14:31,014 (laughing) Yes, there are a lot 240 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,014 of strange ones online, I agree. 241 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,174 I like your profile. 242 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,333 - [Blair] Thanks for your reply. 243 00:14:35,399 --> 00:14:37,453 I just started online dating and it's been a surprisingly 244 00:14:37,519 --> 00:14:39,014 pleasant experience so far. 245 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,534 - [Jane] Haha, you're funny. 246 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,733 I'd like to meet you. 247 00:14:41,799 --> 00:14:42,934 - [Blair] Where? 248 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,573 - [Jane] When? 249 00:14:44,639 --> 00:14:46,174 (jazz piano music) 250 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,320 - [Simon] So, Jane. 251 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,813 Tell me about yourself. 252 00:14:49,879 --> 00:14:51,333 - Not much to say, really. 253 00:14:51,399 --> 00:14:54,374 25, receptionist, I work out. 254 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,054 Nothing interesting really. 255 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,240 - I'm interested. 256 00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,453 Where do you work? 257 00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:01,414 - At a big law firm in the city. 258 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:02,399 Steele and Weiner? 259 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,519 - Steele and Weiner? 260 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:08,613 What do they specialise in? 261 00:15:08,679 --> 00:15:09,879 - Property law mainly. 262 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:11,799 - Oh. 263 00:15:17,399 --> 00:15:19,813 How'd you come to work there? 264 00:15:19,879 --> 00:15:21,294 - Funny story, actually. 265 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:22,934 I met Richard Steele through my parents. 266 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,693 They frequent the same golf club. 267 00:15:24,759 --> 00:15:26,853 One day, I went there to have dinner with them. 268 00:15:26,919 --> 00:15:29,213 I had just finished my Business Administration degree. 269 00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:30,960 Coincidentally, Richard was there. 270 00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:33,534 He was looking for a new receptionist 271 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,000 and he hired me on the spot. 272 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,360 That was two years ago. 273 00:15:40,759 --> 00:15:42,600 - Oh, that was the funny story? 274 00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:46,080 Okay. 275 00:15:49,639 --> 00:15:52,174 Do you see yourself staying there long term? 276 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,853 - Not particularly. 277 00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:54,759 - Okay. 278 00:16:02,159 --> 00:16:04,213 So, I noticed you have an accent. 279 00:16:04,279 --> 00:16:06,174 Where do you come from in America? 280 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,039 - I'm Canadian, eh. 281 00:16:09,519 --> 00:16:10,600 - [Simon] Oh. 282 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,014 I'm sorry. 283 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:13,919 - Why? 284 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,134 - Do you- - I'd like to move to the suburbs 285 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,159 and have kids soon. 286 00:16:21,039 --> 00:16:21,879 - Nice. 287 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,679 White picket fence and a happy ending? 288 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,360 - I don't like white fences. 289 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:31,679 - Okay. 290 00:16:36,159 --> 00:16:39,014 (sighing) So do you want me to walk you to your car? 291 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,093 - Oh, no, it's okay. 292 00:16:40,159 --> 00:16:41,200 It's just over there. 293 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,453 I had a nice time tonight. 294 00:16:44,519 --> 00:16:46,374 - Yeah, me too. 295 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,919 - So we'll do this again, right? 296 00:16:50,279 --> 00:16:51,120 - Sure. 297 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,774 It was nice meeting you, Jane. 298 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,693 - Yes, it was good for me too. 299 00:17:03,759 --> 00:17:04,599 Talk soon. 300 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:11,614 - (sighing) Won't be seeing her again. 301 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,493 - [TV Narrator] The highest good we can strive for 302 00:17:14,559 --> 00:17:18,134 is to live with happiness and contentment. 303 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,599 (light kooky music) - So... 304 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,279 My roommate's are out. 305 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,174 Wanna make a little noise? 306 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,094 - Aw, that's cute. 307 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,894 It's actually that time of the month. 308 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,253 - Oh. 309 00:17:31,319 --> 00:17:32,160 Okay. 310 00:17:34,079 --> 00:17:37,654 There are things you could do for me. 311 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,134 - Hah! 312 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,480 No, it's not the same. 313 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,279 - Oh, okay. 314 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,680 - I won't do anything like that until we're engaged. 315 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:52,934 What do you think a pig sounds like 316 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,599 when it eats a person? 317 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,839 (eerie music) 318 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,400 (gasping) 319 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,599 - Simon? - Ugh. 320 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,013 - Simon, how much did you have to drink last night? 321 00:18:24,079 --> 00:18:25,814 - I don't know. 322 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,039 Too much? 323 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,720 I'm drinking a little now to help with the hangover. 324 00:18:38,039 --> 00:18:40,894 - Is everything okay? 325 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,253 - Everything is great. 326 00:18:42,319 --> 00:18:44,374 I just. I feel a little sad. 327 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,733 Isn't it okay to feel sad 328 00:18:45,799 --> 00:18:48,253 when everything is great? 329 00:18:48,319 --> 00:18:50,174 - I don't know. 330 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,880 Why were you drinking last night? 331 00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:55,880 - Jane and I broke up. 332 00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,000 - Oh. 333 00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:02,053 I'm sorry to hear that. 334 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:03,094 - Don't be. 335 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:04,000 I hated her. 336 00:19:07,759 --> 00:19:10,519 (sighing) No, I didn't hate her. 337 00:19:12,279 --> 00:19:14,720 She crushed my very essence. 338 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,440 - Hey, you are a great guy. 339 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,654 - [Mitch] You ready, B? 340 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,253 Oh, you look like shit, man. 341 00:19:25,319 --> 00:19:26,934 Everything okay? 342 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,440 - Him and Jane broke up. 343 00:19:29,319 --> 00:19:30,773 - Oh. 344 00:19:30,839 --> 00:19:32,894 Sorry to hear that. 345 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,733 Hey, if she gets all crazy ex on you, 346 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,279 I'll sleep with her if you want. 347 00:19:37,279 --> 00:19:39,733 - What on earth would that achieve? 348 00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:41,773 - Get her off his back. 349 00:19:41,839 --> 00:19:43,934 I'd do that for you, man. 350 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,559 'Cause I love you. 351 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,039 - Thanks, man. 352 00:19:49,519 --> 00:19:51,519 Are you guys going running or something? 353 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,480 - Yeah. 354 00:19:57,079 --> 00:19:59,414 (blender whirring) - Ah, come on, man! 355 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,053 My head is killing me! 356 00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,213 - Sorry Simon, just trying to keep healthy. 357 00:20:04,279 --> 00:20:05,773 You know what they say. 358 00:20:05,839 --> 00:20:09,053 Healthy body, get all the chicks. 359 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,174 It's a thinking man's game. 360 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,079 - Okay. 361 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,519 I'm going to that cafe down the road. 362 00:20:17,519 --> 00:20:19,453 - I thought you hated that place. 363 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:20,359 - I do. 364 00:20:21,519 --> 00:20:24,839 But about a month ago, I saw this amazing waitress there. 365 00:20:26,319 --> 00:20:28,134 I mean, I keep going back every few days 366 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,680 but I haven't seen her since. 367 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:31,654 (light music) 368 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,574 I was going to meet a client across town 369 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,480 and then I saw her. 370 00:20:39,759 --> 00:20:41,894 I was mesmerized. 371 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,440 I just had to talk to her. 372 00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:46,693 So when I walked into the cafe, 373 00:20:46,759 --> 00:20:48,574 she was at the front counter. 374 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,973 I approached the bench and said 375 00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:51,574 hey, can I please have a latte? 376 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:52,934 If it's not too much trouble. 377 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,374 - [Mitch] I thought you hated coffee. 378 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,493 - I do! 379 00:20:55,559 --> 00:20:56,894 But I was flustered. 380 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,894 I didn't know what else to say. 381 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,654 And then she said, 382 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,359 "I'll get that right away" (girlish giggling) 383 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,400 And then I took my coffee and left. 384 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:10,253 Maybe she'll be there today. 385 00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:11,453 I don't know. 386 00:21:11,519 --> 00:21:14,119 (bluesy music) 387 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,094 (thudding) 388 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,000 Ow. 389 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,733 (sighing) 390 00:21:28,799 --> 00:21:29,733 - Hi. 391 00:21:29,799 --> 00:21:31,375 - [Woman] Hi. - What can I get for you? 392 00:21:31,441 --> 00:21:33,213 - [Woman] Can I please get the turmeric latte? 393 00:21:33,279 --> 00:21:36,279 - [Barista] Yeah, sure. - [Woman] That'd be great. 394 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,374 - [Simon] Can't believe you talked me into this. 395 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:43,680 - Hey, it'll be fun. 396 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,094 Have a few drinks, mingle with some babes. 397 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:48,854 What could go wrong? 398 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,934 - You could abandon me for the first pretty girl you meet. 399 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,240 - That won't happen, man. 400 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,000 Tonight, I'm your wingman. 401 00:21:58,799 --> 00:22:01,720 (light rock music) 402 00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:07,440 (Simon clearing throat) 403 00:22:09,839 --> 00:22:12,240 - Mate, I'm not done with that. 404 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:18,814 - Hi, I'm Abby. 405 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,253 I just got out of a long term relationship 406 00:22:20,319 --> 00:22:22,574 with a girl named Kasey and I'm kind of still upset about it 407 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,493 but tonight, I'm looking for a man to give me a good time, because, 408 00:22:25,559 --> 00:22:26,374 I've always been gay 409 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:27,414 and I'm at a point in my life 410 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,053 where I want to experiment and experience 411 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:30,839 what the opposite sex has to offer. (gasp) 412 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,053 - Hi, Abby, I'm Simon. 413 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:38,574 I've always been straight, but tonight I was really hoping to bed a desperate lesbian. 414 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,334 - Well that was quite crude of you, Simon. 415 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,160 Come on, let's go. - Um, okay. 416 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,240 Now? - Yes, come on! 417 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,053 - [Simon] Ow, can you spread your legs a bit more? 418 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,493 - If you could just shift over. 419 00:22:52,559 --> 00:22:53,574 Ah, you're crushing my arm! 420 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:54,759 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 421 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,119 - Oh! Does that always get that hard? 422 00:22:59,000 --> 00:22:59,920 - Pretty much. 423 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:02,319 Are you ready, or? 424 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,374 - I think so. - Okay. 425 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,453 - Agh! - Sorry. 426 00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:09,094 - Agh! - Sorry. 427 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,134 - Agh, just stop! - Sorry, sorry. 428 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,134 Are you okay? 429 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,334 - Yeah, I just, 430 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,574 I just got a cramp. 431 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,174 - [Woman] Abby? 432 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,414 - [Abby] Kasey? - Abby, what is this man doing on top of you? 433 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:19,480 Get off her! 434 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,814 - [Simon] Hi. - I'm gonna kill you, you- 435 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,519 - No, no! No! 436 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,119 (thudding) 437 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,013 - Kasey! 438 00:23:41,079 --> 00:23:42,240 What the fuck? 439 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,359 (light eerie music) 440 00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:32,759 (gasping) 441 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,319 (airy music) 442 00:26:54,559 --> 00:26:57,640 (light guitar music) 443 00:27:30,039 --> 00:27:32,094 - Blair and I have been best friends since high school. 444 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,614 We went to the same uni together as well. 445 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,920 I studied Graphic Design and she studied Photography. 446 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:40,574 We also met Mitch there. 447 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,920 He wasn't a student, he worked at the uni gym. 448 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,453 He also went to all the student parties. 449 00:27:47,519 --> 00:27:49,453 Actually I'm pretty sure he tried to hit on Blair 450 00:27:49,519 --> 00:27:53,293 the first time he met her. (chuckling) 451 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:54,839 - A Photography degree. 452 00:27:56,519 --> 00:27:58,839 What does one do with a degree in photography? 453 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,574 Take pretty little black and white 454 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,693 pictures of flowers and spiderwebs 455 00:28:05,759 --> 00:28:07,200 and morning mist, maybe. 456 00:28:08,279 --> 00:28:09,574 And do some headshot work on the side 457 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,319 so as not to completely starve. 458 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,359 I got an office job in the city. 459 00:28:22,839 --> 00:28:24,440 Maybe I'll go overseas one day. 460 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,000 That might be nice. 461 00:28:28,799 --> 00:28:31,720 Or get a real photography job. 462 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,400 Not feel like such a sellout. 463 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:39,880 - I don't need much. 464 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,920 As long as I have my job and some pretty girls, I'm good. 465 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:06,134 (mouse clicking) 466 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,720 (jazzy music) 467 00:29:13,039 --> 00:29:14,279 - Hello, Simon. 468 00:29:16,559 --> 00:29:17,880 - Um, hi, Simon. 469 00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:21,559 - Hi, darling! 470 00:29:26,319 --> 00:29:27,614 - So I'll tell you a little about myself 471 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,414 and then you can talk if you want. 472 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,533 - Sorry I'm not very interesting. 473 00:29:31,599 --> 00:29:33,134 Why don't we talk about you? 474 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,894 - I'm pretty fab, as you can tell. 475 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,400 Beauty and brains. 476 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,053 - I'm 29, I started my own business when I was 19. 477 00:29:43,119 --> 00:29:45,293 It's now worth just over four million. 478 00:29:45,359 --> 00:29:47,134 I'm a career-orientated girl. 479 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:51,559 - I work for a big firm in the city. (laughing) 480 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,614 - Sorry I don't have more to talk about. 481 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,374 - I like to keep a strict schedule, 482 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:58,854 so if anything comes of this, 483 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,654 I can either book you in two hours every second day 484 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,213 or three hours every third day. 485 00:30:04,279 --> 00:30:06,240 - I haven't had a boyfriend in a while. 486 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,279 I'm not sure why. 487 00:30:09,279 --> 00:30:11,440 But I try not to let it get me down. 488 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,293 - I like to multitask. 489 00:30:15,359 --> 00:30:18,213 It's not uncommon for me to check work emails during sex. 490 00:30:18,279 --> 00:30:19,654 I'm just letting you know now 491 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:21,414 because some guys I've been with in the past 492 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,013 have thought it was weird for some reason. 493 00:30:24,079 --> 00:30:26,654 So, my place our yours? 494 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,599 - I'm sorry, this isn't going to work. 495 00:30:29,559 --> 00:30:32,533 You're just so insecure and downtrodden. 496 00:30:32,599 --> 00:30:35,640 - You are just too cute. 497 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,240 I just want to gobble you up! 498 00:30:40,119 --> 00:30:42,400 Mmm, yummy boy! 499 00:30:45,359 --> 00:30:47,039 - Hey, Sime! - Hey. 500 00:30:48,559 --> 00:30:51,400 Really serious about this whole exercising thing, huh? 501 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,854 - How's the whole online dating thing? 502 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,854 - Weird and confusing. 503 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:02,160 Just like real dating. 504 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,493 - Really? 505 00:31:04,559 --> 00:31:06,733 What about that Taylor girl? 506 00:31:06,799 --> 00:31:08,134 Her profile pic looked good. 507 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,680 (kooky music) 508 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,880 - Don't even get me started. 509 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,414 - Hey, you wanna go out tonight, Sime? 510 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:19,854 - No thanks. 511 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,854 Not after last time. 512 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:22,880 - What do you mean? 513 00:31:24,359 --> 00:31:26,400 - You were supposed to be my wingman. 514 00:31:27,839 --> 00:31:29,279 You just left with that girl. 515 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:31,894 - What do you expect? 516 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,733 You never put out. 517 00:31:33,799 --> 00:31:35,253 A man can only wait so long. 518 00:31:35,319 --> 00:31:39,253 - I don't think Simon wants a one night stand right now. 519 00:31:39,319 --> 00:31:43,119 - Every man wants a one night stand right now. 520 00:31:45,119 --> 00:31:47,614 - Don't you guys have jobs to go to? 521 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,119 - Eh, my first client's not til 11. 522 00:31:51,039 --> 00:31:52,053 - My office is closed. 523 00:31:52,119 --> 00:31:55,174 Some brainiac started a fire in the kitchen yesterday. 524 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,160 I am going to the gallery later though 525 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:58,839 with a friend. 526 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:02,960 - You working from home again? 527 00:32:04,079 --> 00:32:05,574 - (sighing) No. 528 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,599 The internet is down, again. 529 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,079 I'm gonna go work from the cafe. 530 00:32:14,759 --> 00:32:19,759 (keyboard clacking) (kooky music) 531 00:32:21,119 --> 00:32:24,039 (machine whirring) 532 00:32:33,839 --> 00:32:35,493 - We just met. - I know. 533 00:32:35,559 --> 00:32:36,493 - We're so naughty. 534 00:32:36,559 --> 00:32:37,400 - Yeah. 535 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:41,733 - Wait here. 536 00:32:41,799 --> 00:32:42,640 - Okay. 537 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,013 Wow, okay. 538 00:32:50,079 --> 00:32:51,574 - Can I put this on you? 539 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:52,839 - Sure, why not? 540 00:32:59,279 --> 00:33:01,293 (cuffs clicking) Ah, what are you doing? 541 00:33:01,359 --> 00:33:04,174 - The safe word is jelly. 542 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:05,599 - What? 543 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,934 What are you doing? - Making you my bitch, Simon, 544 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,414 what do you think I'm doing? 545 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,013 - (laughing) You're crazy! 546 00:33:15,079 --> 00:33:17,013 (whacking) Ah, what are you doing with that? 547 00:33:17,079 --> 00:33:17,973 (whacking) Ow! 548 00:33:18,039 --> 00:33:19,013 Ow, that really hurts! 549 00:33:19,079 --> 00:33:20,453 - I'm not crazy. 550 00:33:20,519 --> 00:33:21,733 I'm a modern woman. 551 00:33:21,799 --> 00:33:23,374 And this is how people fuck now! 552 00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:24,574 - No, it's, ow! 553 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,493 No it's not, you fucking weirdo! 554 00:33:27,559 --> 00:33:28,814 I thought you were nice! 555 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:29,814 - [Dominatrix Girl] You little bitch. 556 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,094 You call yourself a man? 557 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,094 I'm more of a man than you'll ever be! 558 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,094 - Oh, jelly, jelly! 559 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,640 (tense music) 560 00:33:40,559 --> 00:33:41,359 - Cool. 561 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:49,839 Call me. 562 00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:14,639 (light relaxing music) 563 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,280 - Mmmmm. 564 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,480 Mmmmmm. 565 00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:33,159 (busy tone beeping) 566 00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:35,880 - Dad. 567 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:38,694 - Hey. 568 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:39,920 - [Simon] Hey. 569 00:34:42,519 --> 00:34:44,079 - What's with the peas, mister? 570 00:34:46,079 --> 00:34:47,480 - Gentlemen problems. 571 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:50,719 - Don't wanna know. 572 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:53,239 Beach? 573 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:55,280 - Oh, okay. 574 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,360 So, I met a girl. 575 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,199 - Oh. 576 00:35:06,159 --> 00:35:08,453 - She kicked the shit out of me. 577 00:35:08,519 --> 00:35:09,360 - Oh. 578 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:12,320 What happened? 579 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,039 - Doesn't matter. 580 00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:19,533 - You're one of the good ones, you know. 581 00:35:19,599 --> 00:35:22,133 Any woman'd be lucky to have you. 582 00:35:22,199 --> 00:35:23,519 I know I am. 583 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:27,814 - Thanks, B. 584 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,679 You're a gem. 585 00:35:38,079 --> 00:35:40,013 - Do you remember that birthday card 586 00:35:40,079 --> 00:35:41,639 you made me in uni? 587 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,679 - [Simon] Oh yes, a crude example of my art. 588 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,360 - Do you remember much of that night? 589 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:54,679 - Uh... 590 00:35:58,559 --> 00:35:59,400 Nope. 591 00:36:01,599 --> 00:36:03,519 We were both pretty drunk. 592 00:36:04,639 --> 00:36:09,053 I do remember that you almost vomited on me. 593 00:36:09,119 --> 00:36:11,374 - Aww. (both laughing) 594 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:12,880 - I still liked you. 595 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,013 - You know, you're a really good graphic designer, Simon. 596 00:36:21,079 --> 00:36:22,414 - You think so? 597 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:24,493 - Yeah, of course. 598 00:36:24,559 --> 00:36:25,774 You always have been. 599 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,493 And, I think if you spent as much time 600 00:36:27,559 --> 00:36:29,053 focusing on your career as you spend 601 00:36:29,119 --> 00:36:31,854 returning home with ambiguous penis injuries, 602 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,093 you could be really successful. 603 00:36:34,159 --> 00:36:37,453 (Simon laughing) 604 00:36:37,519 --> 00:36:38,400 - Thanks, Blair. 605 00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,320 You're right, I really should buckle down. 606 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:46,239 Start getting things done. 607 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:49,559 No more distractions. 608 00:36:50,559 --> 00:36:53,039 (light music) 609 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,214 - Why haven't you told him? 610 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:46,774 - I will. 611 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,814 But the opportunity just, 612 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,320 I mean it hasn't presented itself yet. 613 00:37:52,599 --> 00:37:54,039 It's hard. 614 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:55,840 - Why? 615 00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:57,639 - Whassap?! 616 00:37:59,119 --> 00:37:59,934 - Hey. 617 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,653 How was the interview? 618 00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,093 - You are looking at the new 619 00:38:04,159 --> 00:38:06,613 lead designer at the biggest advertising firm in the city. 620 00:38:06,679 --> 00:38:07,653 - That's amazing! 621 00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:09,214 I'm so proud of you! 622 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:10,573 - You know those suited automatons 623 00:38:10,639 --> 00:38:12,239 you see walking around the city? 624 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:14,453 Well that's gonna be me now. 625 00:38:14,519 --> 00:38:16,814 - Hey, chicks love those kind of guys. 626 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:17,814 - I know. 627 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,934 Things are looking up for this guy. 628 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,934 Only downside is I have to get up at six tomorrow morning. 629 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,679 (alarm beeping) 630 00:38:40,079 --> 00:38:41,254 - Hey, how are you? 631 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:42,374 You good? 632 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,493 - Awesome. - Yeah, I had the most amazing morning. 633 00:38:45,559 --> 00:38:46,613 I know. 634 00:38:46,679 --> 00:38:49,013 Ah, what are you doing here? 635 00:38:49,079 --> 00:38:50,613 You know I'm working. 636 00:38:50,679 --> 00:38:51,920 - I don't care. 637 00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,360 (melancholy music) 638 00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:33,453 - Tony has really let himself go over the years. 639 00:39:33,519 --> 00:39:34,774 He's almost 100 kilos now. 640 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,493 - Mmm. - I mean, I go running every day. 641 00:39:37,559 --> 00:39:39,414 I still have a nice arse. 642 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,653 He just sits around smoking and drinking all day. 643 00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:44,960 - Yeah, you do have a really nice ass, sweety. 644 00:39:55,039 --> 00:39:56,493 - Simon, what's wrong? 645 00:39:56,559 --> 00:39:58,800 - Blair, there's something I need to tell you. 646 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:01,320 - What? 647 00:40:03,159 --> 00:40:04,000 - I love you. 648 00:40:07,559 --> 00:40:08,814 - For real? 649 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:09,719 - Yeah. 650 00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:15,239 - Simon, I'm moving to Africa. 651 00:40:17,159 --> 00:40:18,000 - What? 652 00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:20,493 - I've been meaning to tell you but- 653 00:40:20,559 --> 00:40:24,414 - But what? (man humming) 654 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:25,414 - Hey, babe. 655 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:26,694 Ready to bounce or what? 656 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,374 Movie's about to start. You know I don't wanna miss those ads. 657 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:29,294 Love those ads! 658 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,734 - Simon, this is Abe. 659 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:33,734 He's my boyfriend. 660 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,840 - Hey yo, what's up, my brother from another mother? 661 00:40:37,639 --> 00:40:38,480 All right. 662 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,854 - We've been seeing each other for about a month. 663 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:43,760 - Oh. 664 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,694 - Can you wait in the car for me, babe? 665 00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:49,760 - Sure thing, B, be you. 666 00:40:51,199 --> 00:40:52,039 Later, brah. 667 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,533 (thumping) 668 00:40:55,599 --> 00:40:57,400 Boom! (finger snapping) 669 00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:08,519 - Why didn't you tell me? 670 00:41:10,159 --> 00:41:11,133 - I didn't wanna hurt you. 671 00:41:11,199 --> 00:41:13,280 - Well that plan's gone to shit now, hasn't it? 672 00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:19,119 When are you leaving? 673 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,414 - Next weekend. - Next weekend?! 674 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,053 - I'm really sorry. - No, it's fine. 675 00:41:24,119 --> 00:41:25,694 I completely understand. 676 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,613 You have absolutely no respect for me. 677 00:41:27,679 --> 00:41:28,734 - No, it's not like that. 678 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,480 I just was scared. 679 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:32,800 - Does Mitch know? 680 00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,854 - Yes. - He was in on it too? 681 00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:37,494 Where is he? I need to talk to him. 682 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,079 - He's at work. 683 00:41:42,199 --> 00:41:43,334 I knew you had a crush on me, 684 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,133 that's why I didn't say anything. 685 00:41:45,199 --> 00:41:47,093 - It is not a crush, Blair. 686 00:41:47,159 --> 00:41:49,133 You are the only woman who has been there for me 687 00:41:49,199 --> 00:41:50,173 no matter what. 688 00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,214 And now, I find out you're leaving 689 00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:53,613 with some dickhead you just met! 690 00:41:53,679 --> 00:41:55,533 - Abe's a great guy! 691 00:41:55,599 --> 00:41:57,453 Who we're gonna walk the continent of Africa. 692 00:41:57,519 --> 00:41:59,294 He's gonna show me a part of the world 693 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:00,653 I never would have seen otherwise! 694 00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:01,973 - Well have a look at this. 695 00:42:02,039 --> 00:42:04,533 The strong, independent, third way feminist 696 00:42:04,599 --> 00:42:05,814 has been swept off her feet 697 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,814 by some third rate Nigerian prince. 698 00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:09,880 - He's Congonese. - I don't give a shit! 699 00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:12,854 I thought you were different. 700 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,613 But you are just as vapid 701 00:42:14,679 --> 00:42:16,334 as every other woman I've met recently. 702 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,079 - Fuck you! - Fuck you! 703 00:42:19,119 --> 00:42:20,013 - Mitch here? 704 00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:20,920 - [Both] No! 705 00:42:27,519 --> 00:42:29,573 - I have to get going. 706 00:42:29,639 --> 00:42:30,774 Abe's waiting for me. 707 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,440 (upbeat music) 708 00:42:35,519 --> 00:42:36,400 - Okay, whatever. 709 00:43:06,679 --> 00:43:07,519 - Hey, man. 710 00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:10,559 - Hey. 711 00:43:12,079 --> 00:43:13,679 - Blair told me what happened. 712 00:43:15,519 --> 00:43:16,360 You okay? 713 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:18,239 - Yeah. 714 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,480 - I'm sorry I didn't tell you. 715 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,119 - It's okay. 716 00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,280 She's the one that should have told me. 717 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,294 - Life is weird, huh? 718 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:40,760 - Sometimes. 719 00:43:43,039 --> 00:43:45,280 It has its moments though. 720 00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:51,573 I really thought we'd all be living together 721 00:43:51,639 --> 00:43:52,639 longer than this. 722 00:43:53,679 --> 00:43:54,920 - I'm not going anywhere. 723 00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,920 - I know, man. 724 00:44:01,199 --> 00:44:03,280 - It's not gonna be the same though, is it? 725 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,613 You know, this is gonna sound weird, 726 00:44:06,679 --> 00:44:09,573 but I'm really gonna miss having a chick around 727 00:44:09,639 --> 00:44:11,800 that would never consider sleeping with me. 728 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,254 - (Simon) Don't feel bad. 729 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,679 I don't think she's slept with anyone in years. 730 00:44:22,039 --> 00:44:23,519 Till now, I guess. 731 00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,440 - Didn't the two of you hook up in uni once? 732 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:30,679 - Yeah. 733 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:35,639 It felt weird though. 734 00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,239 It was a stupid thing to do. 735 00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,480 There was some good to it, I guess. 736 00:44:46,639 --> 00:44:47,920 - What was good about it? 737 00:44:49,599 --> 00:44:52,814 - It felt like it somehow strengthened our relationship. 738 00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,719 (Mitch chuckling) 739 00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:57,800 - I love you, man. 740 00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:00,880 As a friend, I mean. 741 00:45:03,679 --> 00:45:05,199 - I love you too, Mitch. 742 00:45:12,199 --> 00:45:14,774 - I'm gonna go for a jog. 743 00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:15,679 - Yeah, yeah. 744 00:45:18,079 --> 00:45:21,599 I'm gonna go wash my hair. 745 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,280 So today's the day, huh? 746 00:45:42,119 --> 00:45:42,960 - Yeah. 747 00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,573 Abe's gonna be here any minute to pick me up. 748 00:45:46,639 --> 00:45:48,453 (sombre guitar music) 749 00:45:48,519 --> 00:45:49,360 - [Simon] Cool. 750 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,800 - I'm really gonna miss you, Sime. 751 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:01,840 - I'm gonna miss you too, B. 752 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,653 - I'll write to you, 753 00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:08,239 when we get there. 754 00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:10,679 - Sounds nice. 755 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,214 (phone buzzing) 756 00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:15,814 - That's Abe. 757 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,320 He just got here. 758 00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,093 - You better get going. 759 00:46:20,159 --> 00:46:21,960 Don't want you to be late on my account. 760 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:24,320 - Yeah. 761 00:46:51,199 --> 00:46:52,053 Hey, Simon? 762 00:46:52,119 --> 00:46:52,960 - Yeah? 763 00:47:11,159 --> 00:47:14,159 (crickets chirping) 764 00:47:27,199 --> 00:47:29,760 (gun clacking) 765 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,719 (slurping) 766 00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:45,334 - Bang. 767 00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:48,159 (Simon laughing) 768 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,079 (light guitar music) 769 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:57,334 (light piano music) 770 00:48:57,400 --> 00:48:58,774 - [Stella] Bobby? 771 00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:00,493 You shouldn't be here. 772 00:49:00,559 --> 00:49:02,334 My parent's will be home any minute. 773 00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:03,453 - [Bobby] Why not? 774 00:49:03,519 --> 00:49:05,053 We belong together, Stella. 775 00:49:05,119 --> 00:49:07,013 - [Stella] No, I can't. 776 00:49:07,079 --> 00:49:08,734 You're just so 777 00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:09,694 bad. 778 00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:11,254 - [Bobby] I know. 779 00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,894 But sometimes, at night, 780 00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:16,934 I look up at the stars and I want to be good. 781 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,159 - [Stella] Oh, Bobby! 782 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,480 - You know, I still think everyone knows. 783 00:49:23,639 --> 00:49:24,480 - Knows what? 784 00:49:25,559 --> 00:49:27,774 Why do we keep watching this shit? 785 00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:29,133 - Because it's simple. 786 00:49:29,199 --> 00:49:30,613 No one has any real problems. 787 00:49:30,679 --> 00:49:32,613 - What are you talking about? 788 00:49:32,679 --> 00:49:34,973 Everyone is cheating on everyone. 789 00:49:35,039 --> 00:49:36,533 - Cheating's not so bad. 790 00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:37,599 Happens to everyone. 791 00:49:38,639 --> 00:49:40,294 Oh, not me, I've never been cheated on. 792 00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:43,814 - That's because you've never been in a real relationship. 793 00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:44,880 - I was once. 794 00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:47,774 - Really? 795 00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,653 What happened? 796 00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:51,440 - Fell apart. 797 00:49:54,639 --> 00:49:55,480 - Why? 798 00:49:58,079 --> 00:50:01,199 - She expected me to not sleep with other women. 799 00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:03,533 - What a witch. 800 00:50:03,599 --> 00:50:04,920 - I know, right? 801 00:50:06,639 --> 00:50:09,280 Wouldn't it be so much easier to be gay? 802 00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:12,720 - Maybe. 803 00:50:18,079 --> 00:50:20,679 - We should probably start looking for a new housemate. 804 00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,079 - Yeah, I guess so. 805 00:50:30,199 --> 00:50:31,719 - Do you think you're gonna miss her? 806 00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:34,600 - Yeah. 807 00:50:35,639 --> 00:50:36,480 I do. 808 00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:39,653 - She could come back. 809 00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:41,013 - You think so? 810 00:50:41,079 --> 00:50:42,013 - Yeah. 811 00:50:42,079 --> 00:50:44,814 I mean, she's only known the guy for a month. 812 00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,214 It could fall apart at any moment. 813 00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:50,573 You know, whenever I meet a girl I like, 814 00:50:50,639 --> 00:50:52,639 I think we're gonna be together forever. 815 00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:55,214 - Then what happens? 816 00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,294 - Then we have sex a few times 817 00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,573 and I feel satisfied. 818 00:50:59,639 --> 00:51:01,840 Like she's given me everything I wanted from her. 819 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,894 - Thanks for that. 820 00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:08,480 - [Mitch] No worries, mate. 821 00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,360 (eerie music) 822 00:51:23,679 --> 00:51:26,679 (light piano music) 823 00:51:28,559 --> 00:51:29,400 - Hey, Blair. 824 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:32,453 - Simon, what are you doing here? 825 00:51:32,519 --> 00:51:34,480 Abe will be here any minute. 826 00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:37,613 - I live here. 827 00:51:37,679 --> 00:51:40,493 And I don't care about Abe. 828 00:51:40,559 --> 00:51:44,053 - Simon, I can't, you're just so 829 00:51:44,119 --> 00:51:45,694 bad. 830 00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:47,320 - You have no idea. 831 00:52:00,519 --> 00:52:02,053 (tense music) 832 00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:03,679 (strange rustling sound) 833 00:52:19,639 --> 00:52:24,639 (Mitch speaks backwards) 834 00:52:25,159 --> 00:52:27,519 (Simon speaks backwards) 835 00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,093 (jazz music) 836 00:52:32,159 --> 00:52:34,920 (beer trickling) 837 00:52:44,639 --> 00:52:45,480 Steamy! 838 00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:53,480 - Morning. - Morning. 839 00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:55,854 - [Mitch] Hey, I got some replies 840 00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:56,934 to that roommate wanted ad. 841 00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,133 - Yeah? Anyone good? 842 00:52:59,199 --> 00:53:00,854 - [Mitch] Hmm, a few. 843 00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:03,934 Actually one from a girl by the name of Hannah. 844 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:04,840 - Really? 845 00:53:05,679 --> 00:53:07,199 Hmm, I always liked that name. 846 00:53:08,079 --> 00:53:10,374 - [Mitch] Yeah, she just lives around the corner as well. 847 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,093 I walked past her straight on the way to work. 848 00:53:12,159 --> 00:53:13,960 - Well how about that? 849 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,374 We should set up a meetup with her. 850 00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:20,573 - Yeah sure, let's invite her over. 851 00:53:20,639 --> 00:53:22,199 - Hmm, no. 852 00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:24,894 Let's meet her in a neutral place. 853 00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:27,133 That cafe down the road. 854 00:53:27,199 --> 00:53:29,440 - You're so predictable. 855 00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,960 (Mitch sighing) 856 00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:36,719 Fuck! 857 00:53:38,559 --> 00:53:39,639 Are we out of protein? 858 00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,519 - It is literally right in front of your fucking face! 859 00:53:44,519 --> 00:53:45,360 - Oh! 860 00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:51,320 I'll tee up that Hannah thing and let you know. 861 00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,159 (phone buzzing) 862 00:54:13,159 --> 00:54:15,133 - Hey, you must be Hannah? 863 00:54:15,199 --> 00:54:16,374 - That's what they tell me. 864 00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:18,694 You must be Mitch. - No, I'm Simon. 865 00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:21,053 Mitch couldn't make it. - Oh, you're the other guy. 866 00:54:21,119 --> 00:54:22,294 - [Simon] That's what they tell me. 867 00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,880 (kooky music) 868 00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,694 - So tell me, what's it like being lesbians? 869 00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,639 - (laughing) It's great. 870 00:55:22,519 --> 00:55:23,573 - Oh, it is so much fun. 871 00:55:23,639 --> 00:55:25,533 - Oh yeah. - You guys like kiss and stuff, right? 872 00:55:25,599 --> 00:55:27,133 - Ah, all the time. 873 00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:29,254 That's like all we do. - Of course! 874 00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:30,613 - Hey, Mitch. 875 00:55:30,679 --> 00:55:32,093 - Oh, hey Simon. 876 00:55:32,159 --> 00:55:34,414 Girls, this is the guy I was telling you about. 877 00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,133 - Hi, Simon. - Hi. 878 00:55:36,199 --> 00:55:40,653 - Simon, this is Valentina and Adriana. 879 00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:43,374 - Hi, Simon, we've heard so much about you. 880 00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,814 - Yes, that you're funny, a gentleman 881 00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:47,254 and you're looking for the one. 882 00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,613 - But you just keep getting hurt! 883 00:55:49,679 --> 00:55:50,519 Aw! 884 00:55:51,559 --> 00:55:53,533 - I went to the gym to meet my new clients, 885 00:55:53,599 --> 00:55:55,814 and it turned out to be these guys. 886 00:55:55,880 --> 00:55:57,854 And they just moved here from South America 887 00:55:57,920 --> 00:55:59,814 and they're looking for a place to live. 888 00:55:59,880 --> 00:56:02,374 - Yes, senor Mitch was so nice 889 00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:04,294 to give us a room for free. 890 00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:06,854 - Yes, he really is such a good man. 891 00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,093 If it wasn't for his generosity, 892 00:56:09,159 --> 00:56:11,360 darling Val and I might be on the street. 893 00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:16,013 - Just look at her, just like way too pretty to be a, 894 00:56:16,079 --> 00:56:16,920 how you say, homo? 895 00:56:18,639 --> 00:56:19,493 - Hobo. 896 00:56:19,559 --> 00:56:22,013 (both laughing) 897 00:56:22,079 --> 00:56:23,214 What can I say? 898 00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:24,360 I'm a great guy. 899 00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:26,453 - Fucking golden. 900 00:56:26,519 --> 00:56:28,719 Hey Mitch, can I speak to you in the kitchen, mate? 901 00:56:34,159 --> 00:56:36,533 - What's up? - Did you seriously just give the room 902 00:56:36,599 --> 00:56:39,934 to a Uruguayan lesbian couple with no money? 903 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:40,840 - No! 904 00:56:42,119 --> 00:56:43,294 They're Argentinian. 905 00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:45,400 - Christ, Mitch, I was gone an hour! 906 00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:50,133 We need to be splitting the rent three ways. 907 00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:52,854 We can't afford to pay the whole thing by ourselves. 908 00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:53,894 - Why not? 909 00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:55,774 We both have jobs. 910 00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:58,694 What's the harm in doing good for people in need? 911 00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,880 - You are doing it 'cause they're both incredibly beautiful! 912 00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,360 These girls could be drug mules for all you know. 913 00:57:07,519 --> 00:57:09,013 Laying low off of their latest little trek 914 00:57:09,079 --> 00:57:10,320 across the Pacific. 915 00:57:11,159 --> 00:57:12,013 - That's just you, isn't it, 916 00:57:12,079 --> 00:57:14,173 always worst case scenario. 917 00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:15,653 - Worst case scenario? 918 00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:17,800 What good could possible come of this? 919 00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:20,734 - Maybe they'll make out in front of us. 920 00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:22,800 - We're not giving them the room, Mitch. 921 00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:25,854 - Yeah, yeah, you're right, but, 922 00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:27,973 we can't just kick these girls out on their arses. 923 00:57:28,039 --> 00:57:30,294 They're actually really nice. 924 00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:31,694 (women speaking in Spanish) 925 00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:35,133 [Mitch] Can we let them sleep in the lounge room? 926 00:57:35,199 --> 00:57:37,414 - [Simon] Mitch. 927 00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:38,613 - [Mitch] Look, just for a little while. 928 00:57:38,679 --> 00:57:40,894 We'll give someone else the room 929 00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:44,133 and we'll let the girls stay just for a few weeks. 930 00:57:44,199 --> 00:57:46,320 Then I'll make sure they leave, I promise. 931 00:57:50,119 --> 00:57:51,000 - Okay. 932 00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:55,000 That works, it's a compromise. 933 00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:59,679 No more funny business with these girls, okay? 934 00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:06,334 I gotta head out for a bit. 935 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:07,694 Just surprise me for once 936 00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:09,000 and don't be a dickhead. 937 00:58:10,039 --> 00:58:10,880 - Later. 938 00:58:14,679 --> 00:58:17,774 (women speaking in Spanish) 939 00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:18,679 Ladies. 940 00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:22,800 I've just had a little chat with Simon. 941 00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:29,133 And we've decided to throw you a huge housewarming party 942 00:58:29,199 --> 00:58:30,533 to welcome you into our home! 943 00:58:30,599 --> 00:58:33,599 - [Valentina] That's fantastic, wow! 944 00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:43,533 (light sitar music) 945 00:58:43,599 --> 00:58:45,559 - Mmmmmm. 946 00:58:49,039 --> 00:58:49,973 Mmmmmm. 947 00:58:50,039 --> 00:58:52,679 (phone buzzing) 948 00:58:56,719 --> 00:58:59,133 - Hello, son. - Hey Dad, what's up? 949 00:58:59,199 --> 00:59:00,814 - I'm just in the garden. 950 00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:02,133 What are you up to? 951 00:59:02,199 --> 00:59:03,039 - Not much. 952 00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:06,973 Blair moved to Africa. 953 00:59:07,039 --> 00:59:08,854 - Really? 954 00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:10,199 I didn't see that coming. 955 00:59:11,239 --> 00:59:12,079 - Me neither. 956 00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:14,973 - That's a shame. 957 00:59:15,039 --> 00:59:16,934 You two were such good friends. 958 00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:18,374 - Yeah. 959 00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:21,119 Well, she met this African guy. 960 00:59:22,239 --> 00:59:24,334 I guess he swept her off her feet. 961 00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:25,920 - That's quite unlucky. 962 00:59:27,599 --> 00:59:29,360 Well, someone else will come along. 963 00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:31,774 - What do you mean? 964 00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:34,934 - Well I always saw you two ending up together. 965 00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:36,173 - Really? 966 00:59:36,239 --> 00:59:37,053 - Yeah. 967 00:59:37,119 --> 00:59:39,173 Yeah, back in high school. 968 00:59:39,239 --> 00:59:41,694 I always saw some chemistry between you two 969 00:59:41,760 --> 00:59:43,934 whether you two saw it or not. 970 00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:44,840 - I never did. 971 00:59:45,719 --> 00:59:48,133 - Well, maybe she'll come back. 972 00:59:48,199 --> 00:59:49,440 - I wouldn't count on it. 973 00:59:52,239 --> 00:59:55,414 - You know, after your mother died, 974 00:59:55,480 --> 00:59:58,694 I swore I'd never fall in love again. 975 00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:00,934 I couldn't let myself. 976 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:02,639 - Then what happened? 977 01:00:03,519 --> 01:00:05,414 - I never fell in love again. 978 01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:08,800 I moved to the country, started gardening, meditating. 979 01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:10,599 Now here I am. 980 01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:13,414 I'm content enough. 981 01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:14,400 But I was wrong. 982 01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:17,214 - [Simon] About what? 983 01:00:17,280 --> 01:00:18,119 - [Dad] Everything. 984 01:00:19,199 --> 01:00:23,334 There's no such thing as soulmates or perfect matches. 985 01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:24,639 People just settle. 986 01:00:26,079 --> 01:00:27,254 You know some people get lucky 987 01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:30,013 and find someone halfway compatible. 988 01:00:30,079 --> 01:00:32,960 But most people just take what they can get. 989 01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,480 And it's finding the wrong person at the right time. 990 01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:39,774 - What if you meet the right person at the wrong time? 991 01:00:39,840 --> 01:00:43,414 - Well that's called being in your 20s. (chuckling) 992 01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:45,133 (Simon chuckling) 993 01:00:45,199 --> 01:00:47,840 But seriously, things will work out in time. 994 01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:50,559 You'll know it when you feel it. 995 01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:52,239 - Thanks, Dad. 996 01:00:53,119 --> 01:00:54,013 - All right. 997 01:00:54,079 --> 01:00:55,854 I better get back to it. 998 01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:57,613 - Sure thing, bye. 999 01:00:57,679 --> 01:00:58,519 - Bye bye. 1000 01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:11,400 (light music) 1001 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,133 (phone buzzing) 1002 01:01:24,199 --> 01:01:26,694 - Hello? - Hey, Hannah, it's Simon. 1003 01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:28,374 - Hey Simon, what's up? 1004 01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:29,639 - Well, umm... we, umm... 1005 01:01:30,679 --> 01:01:32,800 We're kind of having a party on Friday night. 1006 01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:36,854 If you wanna come over for a bit and hang out. 1007 01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:38,613 - Okay, that sounds nice. 1008 01:01:38,679 --> 01:01:40,734 - Cool, the party starts at seven. 1009 01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:42,854 - Cool, I'll see you then. 1010 01:01:44,559 --> 01:01:45,559 - Okay, bye. 1011 01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:49,519 (Simon chuckling) 1012 01:02:28,199 --> 01:02:31,973 (upbeat dance music) 1013 01:02:32,039 --> 01:02:35,053 (punches thumping) 1014 01:02:35,119 --> 01:02:38,039 (crowd chattering) 1015 01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:53,493 - Hey, Simon! 1016 01:02:53,559 --> 01:02:54,814 What took you so long, buddy? 1017 01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:56,093 - [Simon] I had to stay late at work. 1018 01:02:56,159 --> 01:02:57,774 We're in the middle of a big project. 1019 01:02:57,840 --> 01:02:59,173 What is this? 1020 01:02:59,239 --> 01:03:02,053 - It's called a party, you uppity prude. 1021 01:03:02,119 --> 01:03:04,493 - [Simon] It's not like any party I've seen before. 1022 01:03:04,559 --> 01:03:05,920 Is that guy dead? 1023 01:03:06,800 --> 01:03:08,093 - Get over yourself. 1024 01:03:08,159 --> 01:03:09,734 You just need to loosen up, man. 1025 01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:11,920 Hey, there's someone you need to meet. 1026 01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:17,719 (vomiting) 1027 01:03:24,079 --> 01:03:26,360 Come on, you big silly boy. 1028 01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:30,719 Simon. 1029 01:03:32,159 --> 01:03:35,334 This little specimen is Oddball. 1030 01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:36,653 - Ah, fuck you, Mitch! 1031 01:03:36,719 --> 01:03:38,173 Ah, I'm just kidding. 1032 01:03:38,239 --> 01:03:39,814 I love this guy. 1033 01:03:39,880 --> 01:03:42,093 - You know why they call him Oddball? 1034 01:03:42,159 --> 01:03:42,973 - No. 1035 01:03:43,039 --> 01:03:47,653 - This guy has the weirdest pair of nuts you've ever seen. 1036 01:03:47,719 --> 01:03:49,973 - Oh, I don't know they're all right to me. 1037 01:03:50,039 --> 01:03:53,854 Some people might not think so but hey, live and let judge is what I always say. 1038 01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:55,294 - This guy's a sweetheart. 1039 01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:57,734 - Hey, I've got a theory about this guy, Mitch. 1040 01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:59,254 - He's a bit uh, he's a bit gay. 1041 01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:00,414 Maybe even pansexual. 1042 01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:01,934 That's when you're like attracted to pans and shit. 1043 01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:03,973 - That's just wishful thinking on your behalf. 1044 01:04:04,039 --> 01:04:06,053 - Ah, you fucking love it, give me a kiss. 1045 01:04:06,119 --> 01:04:06,960 - Get off. 1046 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:09,639 - Oy, preggers, hand us that coke. 1047 01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:12,653 Come on Mother Teresa, hand it over. 1048 01:04:12,719 --> 01:04:14,133 I know you got coke. 1049 01:04:14,199 --> 01:04:16,173 - Under what circumstances have you seen 1050 01:04:16,239 --> 01:04:18,039 that strange man's testicles? 1051 01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:20,774 - He gets naked and runs around 1052 01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:22,573 whenever he's had a few drinks. 1053 01:04:22,639 --> 01:04:24,239 (laughing) It's hilarious. 1054 01:04:25,559 --> 01:04:26,734 Yeah, it's bound to happen soon. 1055 01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:29,133 - Can't wait. 1056 01:04:29,199 --> 01:04:30,854 - [Oddball] Woo, choo choo choo! 1057 01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:32,254 On the snorty train! 1058 01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:34,133 - [Crazy Old Man] I am the second coming! 1059 01:04:34,199 --> 01:04:35,440 Jesus of Nazareth! 1060 01:04:36,719 --> 01:04:37,613 - Hey, Hannah! 1061 01:04:37,679 --> 01:04:39,053 - Hey, Simon. 1062 01:04:39,119 --> 01:04:40,374 What's going on here? 1063 01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:42,093 - [Crazy Old Man] Bow before me! 1064 01:04:42,159 --> 01:04:43,493 - It's only 7:30. 1065 01:04:43,559 --> 01:04:46,493 - I know, all right. I just got in from work, it's a bit much. 1066 01:04:46,559 --> 01:04:48,200 - Yeah. - Come on. 1067 01:04:49,599 --> 01:04:52,079 So, how have you been? 1068 01:04:53,159 --> 01:04:57,254 - Simon, what's going on in there? 1069 01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:00,254 Was that a mound of coke on your kitchen table? 1070 01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:01,159 - I think so. 1071 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:03,774 I don't know where it came from. 1072 01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:05,294 - Do you have these parties often? 1073 01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:07,280 - No, never. 1074 01:05:08,480 --> 01:05:11,334 I just thought it was gonna be a few close friends. 1075 01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:13,854 We drink some wine, eat some cheese, 1076 01:05:13,920 --> 01:05:15,734 play celebrity heads. 1077 01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:18,173 - Well, I'm pretty sure I saw a guy out there 1078 01:05:18,239 --> 01:05:20,214 who thought he was Jesus, so. 1079 01:05:20,280 --> 01:05:22,960 (both laughing) 1080 01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,440 - That seems to be my life these days. 1081 01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:33,119 A bunch of surreal occurrences 1082 01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:36,159 that have no real relation to one another. 1083 01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:39,400 What are you doing? 1084 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:42,840 - Okay, who are you? 1085 01:05:44,360 --> 01:05:45,214 - Rider Haggard? 1086 01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:47,760 - No, it's you. 1087 01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:49,800 It's always you. 1088 01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:54,453 - Thanks, Hannah. 1089 01:05:54,519 --> 01:05:55,719 - You're welcome, Simon. 1090 01:05:57,119 --> 01:05:58,973 Now I'm going to leave. 1091 01:05:59,039 --> 01:06:01,079 This type of party isn't really my scene. 1092 01:06:02,559 --> 01:06:04,294 But I like you, Simon. 1093 01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:06,894 I'd like to see you again sometime. 1094 01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:08,093 - Like a date? 1095 01:06:08,159 --> 01:06:09,694 - Maybe. 1096 01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:11,573 But on one condition. 1097 01:06:11,639 --> 01:06:14,453 - Okay. - I hope you're not always such a sad sack, Simon. 1098 01:06:14,519 --> 01:06:16,214 - I try not to be. 1099 01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:17,334 - Great. 1100 01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:20,814 Okay, well keep in touch. 1101 01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:21,719 - Of course. 1102 01:06:29,159 --> 01:06:31,679 (dance music) 1103 01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:35,254 - [Beth] Hey, Simon. 1104 01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:36,613 - [Sunday Steve] Hey, man. 1105 01:06:36,679 --> 01:06:38,294 - Hey, guys. Hey Oddball- 1106 01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:40,973 - Hey guys, who finished all the cocaine? 1107 01:06:41,039 --> 01:06:41,880 - Thanks 1108 01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:44,694 - [Simon] Hey, guys. 1109 01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:47,453 - Simon, there you are! 1110 01:06:47,519 --> 01:06:50,093 - There's a girl you just have to meet. 1111 01:06:50,159 --> 01:06:52,093 - She's just perfect for you. 1112 01:06:52,159 --> 01:06:54,894 - And she's so pretty. 1113 01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:57,453 - [Simon] Yeah thanks, I'm actually looking for Mitch. 1114 01:06:57,519 --> 01:06:58,573 Do you know where he is? 1115 01:06:58,639 --> 01:07:00,814 - Why, he's in the lounge room. 1116 01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:01,880 (giggling) 1117 01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:06,480 - [Simon] Oy Mitch. 1118 01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:10,119 Ah, Taylor? 1119 01:07:12,039 --> 01:07:13,934 (laughing) 1120 01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:14,840 - [Blair] Simon. 1121 01:07:17,639 --> 01:07:19,000 - [Simon] Blair. 1122 01:07:26,039 --> 01:07:29,199 - He took me back to his village and 1123 01:07:30,559 --> 01:07:35,119 just casually introduced me to his six wives. 1124 01:07:37,239 --> 01:07:38,960 I was supposed to be number seven. 1125 01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:42,039 One for each day of the week. 1126 01:07:45,079 --> 01:07:47,973 I lost it, I just ran out of there. 1127 01:07:48,039 --> 01:07:51,934 I mean Abe and all his wives looked so confused, like, 1128 01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,079 my reaction was so foreign to them. 1129 01:07:56,440 --> 01:08:00,653 I ran out of the village and hitched a ride 1130 01:08:00,719 --> 01:08:02,760 on a traveling circus. 1131 01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:06,039 I learned how to juggle. 1132 01:08:08,559 --> 01:08:12,814 I got to Kinshasa safely enough, but, 1133 01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:14,573 I didn't have enough money for a flight home 1134 01:08:14,639 --> 01:08:18,093 so I had to flirt with this old pilot 1135 01:08:18,159 --> 01:08:21,973 to give me a ride on a cargo flight to Indonesia and 1136 01:08:22,039 --> 01:08:24,640 then I had just enough money to get home from there. 1137 01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:29,319 - Wow. 1138 01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:35,279 - I was so stupid. 1139 01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:38,574 Going halfway across the world for a guy 1140 01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:40,000 I didn't even know. 1141 01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:44,520 I just, I thought he was different. 1142 01:08:45,760 --> 01:08:48,694 You know, I've always been so cynical, 1143 01:08:48,760 --> 01:08:50,439 it gets really tiring. 1144 01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,133 I just wanted to meet a nice guy 1145 01:08:55,199 --> 01:08:57,880 who understood me. 1146 01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:04,520 I don't think I've ever met a nice guy. 1147 01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:07,960 Except you. 1148 01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:13,439 You've always been there for me, Simon. 1149 01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,039 You can always make me laugh. 1150 01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,439 You must hate me after what I did. 1151 01:09:25,159 --> 01:09:26,520 - I don't hate you, Blair. 1152 01:09:28,479 --> 01:09:29,680 Not at all. 1153 01:09:38,880 --> 01:09:41,199 But I have met someone else. 1154 01:09:47,199 --> 01:09:49,239 I've got a good feeling about her. 1155 01:09:54,199 --> 01:09:55,319 - That's good for you. 1156 01:09:56,800 --> 01:09:58,800 You deserve it, Simon. 1157 01:10:05,079 --> 01:10:07,159 I don't know what's next for me now. 1158 01:10:09,159 --> 01:10:11,079 - I'm sure you'll be fine. 1159 01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:16,479 You are the smartest person I've ever met. 1160 01:10:18,800 --> 01:10:20,359 You're incredible, B. 1161 01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:23,574 - Really? 1162 01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:24,479 - Yes! 1163 01:10:31,920 --> 01:10:34,814 I think you should have some rest. 1164 01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:36,560 Why don't you take my bed tonight? 1165 01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:39,560 - You sure? - Yeah. 1166 01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:42,159 I can crash on the couch. 1167 01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:44,800 - Thanks. 1168 01:10:58,760 --> 01:11:01,279 (dance music) 1169 01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:06,253 - Hey, hey, what are you guys doing? - It's my new fucking bed, haha! 1170 01:11:06,319 --> 01:11:09,894 - Put down the fucking couch, scumbag! 1171 01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:11,373 I am sick of men taking from me 1172 01:11:11,439 --> 01:11:12,814 whatever they fucking please! 1173 01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:14,720 - Whoah, whoah, whoah. 1174 01:11:20,479 --> 01:11:21,894 - Ah, let him go. 1175 01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:23,894 He's not worth it. 1176 01:11:23,960 --> 01:11:25,640 Blair, call the cops. 1177 01:11:26,720 --> 01:11:29,053 - Dad, what are you doing here? 1178 01:11:29,119 --> 01:11:30,894 - I thought I'd come check up on you. 1179 01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:33,093 You sounded upset on the phone. 1180 01:11:33,159 --> 01:11:36,013 - Uhh, better hide the drugs. 1181 01:11:36,079 --> 01:11:37,774 - Yes, hello, we need police. 1182 01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:39,814 - Freeze! This place is surrounded! 1183 01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:41,293 - [Blair] That was quick. 1184 01:11:41,359 --> 01:11:43,814 - Why are you pinning that man against the wall? 1185 01:11:43,880 --> 01:11:45,173 Let him go. 1186 01:11:45,239 --> 01:11:46,373 - [Blair] He was trying to steal the- 1187 01:11:46,439 --> 01:11:48,359 - Let him go! 1188 01:11:50,880 --> 01:11:53,560 Can someone turn that fucking music off? 1189 01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:57,133 (radio clicking) 1190 01:11:57,199 --> 01:12:00,694 Can you believe the shit kids listen to these days? 1191 01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:03,894 Right, let's get this over with. 1192 01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:05,774 Where is Mitchell Turcotte? 1193 01:12:05,840 --> 01:12:07,053 - Right here, boss. 1194 01:12:07,119 --> 01:12:09,093 - We apprehended him in the confusion. 1195 01:12:09,159 --> 01:12:10,199 - [Taylor] Good work. 1196 01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:13,173 - What's going on, girls? 1197 01:12:13,239 --> 01:12:14,413 - We're cops, dumbarse! 1198 01:12:14,479 --> 01:12:16,894 - We've been undercover to get intelligence on you. 1199 01:12:16,960 --> 01:12:18,413 - [Blair] Intelligence? 1200 01:12:18,479 --> 01:12:20,373 - Don't tell me you didn't know. 1201 01:12:20,439 --> 01:12:21,454 Mitch here has been running 1202 01:12:21,520 --> 01:12:25,133 the largest bedroom drug operation on the East Coast. 1203 01:12:25,199 --> 01:12:28,534 We've been keeping tabs on him for months. 1204 01:12:28,600 --> 01:12:31,413 - That explains why he keeps a lock on his bedroom door. 1205 01:12:31,479 --> 01:12:33,494 - Ah, excuse me, officer. 1206 01:12:33,560 --> 01:12:35,574 I don't believe you've identified yourself. 1207 01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:39,293 - My real name is Detective Harry Dixonballs. 1208 01:12:39,359 --> 01:12:41,774 (Simon snickering) 1209 01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:43,614 Grow up, mate. 1210 01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:46,494 I'm head of the State Drug Commission. 1211 01:12:46,560 --> 01:12:48,734 As you've probably gathered by now, 1212 01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:51,373 this is a bust. 1213 01:12:51,439 --> 01:12:54,053 I need everyone who doesn't live here to leave now. 1214 01:12:54,119 --> 01:12:55,454 The residents of this address 1215 01:12:55,520 --> 01:12:58,133 need to stay put for questioning! 1216 01:12:58,199 --> 01:12:59,373 - Is this a joke? 1217 01:12:59,439 --> 01:13:00,534 Are you actually like 1218 01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:02,640 one of those male strippers or something? 1219 01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:09,039 - Do I look like a fucking male stripper to you? 1220 01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:12,359 Look into my eyes. 1221 01:13:13,359 --> 01:13:16,253 Do you think I'm about to rip off my dress 1222 01:13:16,319 --> 01:13:20,439 and rub my COCK! in your dirty little face?! 1223 01:13:22,199 --> 01:13:23,479 - I guess not. 1224 01:13:24,720 --> 01:13:27,934 - You best watch your tone with me. 1225 01:13:28,000 --> 01:13:28,894 - Enough with the dramatics. 1226 01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:30,520 Can we just get this over with? 1227 01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:35,173 - I don't think you get it, Mitch. 1228 01:13:35,239 --> 01:13:37,600 You're going to the fucking Big House! 1229 01:13:39,399 --> 01:13:44,013 Do you know what they do with pups like you in jail? 1230 01:13:44,079 --> 01:13:44,920 Do you?! 1231 01:13:47,039 --> 01:13:50,454 They're quite kind, actually. 1232 01:13:50,520 --> 01:13:55,494 They smuggle in some cherry red lipstick 1233 01:13:55,560 --> 01:13:58,840 and give you a nice little makeover. 1234 01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:03,600 Ah, you'll look so pretty. 1235 01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:08,934 (laughing) You're in deep shit, son. 1236 01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:13,013 And nothing, nothing can save you now. 1237 01:14:13,079 --> 01:14:14,279 - Hey everyone. 1238 01:14:15,119 --> 01:14:18,413 Who wants to see me do the helicopter? 1239 01:14:18,479 --> 01:14:19,854 Here we go. 1240 01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:21,734 I know you've all been waiting for this all evening. 1241 01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:24,894 He's all warmed up. - Holy shit! 1242 01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:26,934 - What's wrong with your nuts, boy? 1243 01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,413 - I've never seen a pair like that before. 1244 01:14:29,479 --> 01:14:30,734 - They're magnificent. 1245 01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:31,734 - [Oddball] It's starting up. 1246 01:14:31,800 --> 01:14:34,053 It's starting up, whoah! 1247 01:14:34,119 --> 01:14:35,973 Okay, this is Oddball reporting for Channel Seven News 1248 01:14:36,039 --> 01:14:37,213 Eye in the Sky. 1249 01:14:37,279 --> 01:14:41,894 It's about the snowflakes, aha! (laughing) 1250 01:14:41,960 --> 01:14:44,133 I love you guys, I really do. 1251 01:14:44,199 --> 01:14:45,520 Anyway, bye! 1252 01:14:47,039 --> 01:14:48,694 - [Adriana] He got away! 1253 01:14:48,760 --> 01:14:50,013 - Shit! 1254 01:14:50,079 --> 01:14:51,253 Go after him! 1255 01:14:51,319 --> 01:14:53,239 I'll stay here and crowd control. 1256 01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:56,934 - [Blair] I thought you said the place was surrounded. 1257 01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,814 - Ugh, I was bluffing. 1258 01:14:59,880 --> 01:15:01,534 Budget cuts. 1259 01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:03,373 Don't get me started. 1260 01:15:03,439 --> 01:15:05,600 - [Blair] What a useless Detective. 1261 01:15:07,359 --> 01:15:09,934 - [Harry] What was that, Missy? 1262 01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:11,333 - I've met men like you before. 1263 01:15:11,399 --> 01:15:13,373 You think you can do and say whatever you want 1264 01:15:13,439 --> 01:15:15,013 to whomever you want without consequence, 1265 01:15:15,079 --> 01:15:16,373 I'm fucking sick of it. 1266 01:15:16,439 --> 01:15:19,253 I'm sick of people who don't believe in accountability! 1267 01:15:19,319 --> 01:15:21,093 I will be reporting you. 1268 01:15:21,159 --> 01:15:23,173 - Don't you dare do that! 1269 01:15:23,239 --> 01:15:24,734 - [Blair] Excuse me? 1270 01:15:24,800 --> 01:15:27,293 - You'll be put on a list. 1271 01:15:27,359 --> 01:15:31,213 A list of troublesome people. 1272 01:15:31,279 --> 01:15:35,359 Things will be made difficult for you. 1273 01:15:36,239 --> 01:15:37,934 - Are you threatening me? 1274 01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:42,199 - I'm telling you how the world works, sweetheart. 1275 01:15:44,039 --> 01:15:45,119 I know people. 1276 01:15:46,039 --> 01:15:48,720 People in high places. 1277 01:15:49,840 --> 01:15:51,039 - Fuck yourself. 1278 01:15:52,560 --> 01:15:54,494 - What did you say?! 1279 01:15:54,560 --> 01:15:55,854 - Fuck yourself. 1280 01:15:55,920 --> 01:15:59,093 Get out of my house, you fascist pig! 1281 01:15:59,159 --> 01:16:00,333 - That's it. 1282 01:16:00,399 --> 01:16:04,574 I'm gonna beat the shit out of you, arsehole! 1283 01:16:04,640 --> 01:16:05,534 - Hey! 1284 01:16:05,600 --> 01:16:08,239 No one threatens my son! 1285 01:16:09,159 --> 01:16:11,213 (roaring) 1286 01:16:11,279 --> 01:16:13,439 (hitting) 1287 01:16:20,439 --> 01:16:22,960 (nostalgic music) 1288 01:16:24,560 --> 01:16:27,199 - [Simon Voiceover] It sure was a crazy time, my 20s. 1289 01:16:28,199 --> 01:16:29,654 I always thought that when I turned 30 1290 01:16:29,720 --> 01:16:32,093 my life would become stable all of a sudden. 1291 01:16:32,159 --> 01:16:34,293 Like something would click and I'd finally feel 1292 01:16:34,359 --> 01:16:36,253 like a real adult. 1293 01:16:36,319 --> 01:16:39,013 Well, now I'm 30. 1294 01:16:39,079 --> 01:16:41,534 And there hasn't really been a click yet. 1295 01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:44,173 But when I think back to those few months, 1296 01:16:44,239 --> 01:16:46,159 there's a world of difference. 1297 01:16:49,239 --> 01:16:53,053 Harry Dixonballs decided not to press charges against Dad. 1298 01:16:53,119 --> 01:16:55,814 On the condition that we didn't report him. 1299 01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:58,494 He was dismissed a few months later though. 1300 01:16:58,560 --> 01:17:00,133 There was a big corruption scandal 1301 01:17:00,199 --> 01:17:02,774 that he was involved with on a low level. 1302 01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:05,213 The higher ups used him as a scapegoat. 1303 01:17:05,279 --> 01:17:07,333 It was all over the news. 1304 01:17:07,399 --> 01:17:09,920 I started to believe in karma after that. 1305 01:17:11,520 --> 01:17:14,013 I hadn't heard from Mitch until last week. 1306 01:17:14,079 --> 01:17:15,734 He sent me a postcard. 1307 01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:18,413 Turns out he ran away to some small country town 1308 01:17:18,479 --> 01:17:20,439 and started his new life 1309 01:17:22,359 --> 01:17:23,840 as a gay cowboy. 1310 01:17:24,880 --> 01:17:27,720 He married Sunday Steve and they worked a ranch together. 1311 01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:32,093 Blair got a photography job in New York. 1312 01:17:32,159 --> 01:17:33,520 We lost touch though. 1313 01:17:34,880 --> 01:17:36,079 All my old friends, 1314 01:17:37,319 --> 01:17:39,934 all the girls I met along the way, 1315 01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:42,614 they're not the ones this story's about. 1316 01:17:42,680 --> 01:17:45,039 It's me, it's always me. 1317 01:17:46,039 --> 01:17:47,119 I married Hannah. 1318 01:17:48,159 --> 01:17:50,093 A private wedding on the beach. 1319 01:17:50,159 --> 01:17:52,173 Dad officiated the ceremony. 1320 01:17:52,239 --> 01:17:54,173 It wasn't extravagant, or grandiose. 1321 01:17:54,239 --> 01:17:57,494 It was just a simple moment in time. 1322 01:17:57,560 --> 01:17:59,093 Me, dressed like I was going to one 1323 01:17:59,159 --> 01:18:00,934 of my Nan's Sunday roasts, 1324 01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:04,253 and her in a beautiful dress. 1325 01:18:04,319 --> 01:18:05,734 I bought our old house. 1326 01:18:05,800 --> 01:18:08,253 It was weird without Mitch and Blair though. 1327 01:18:08,319 --> 01:18:10,734 Hannah and I lived there together for a year, 1328 01:18:10,800 --> 01:18:13,640 but ultimately, her and I just weren't meant to be. 1329 01:18:15,680 --> 01:18:17,013 I sold the house. 1330 01:18:17,079 --> 01:18:18,093 I took a slight loss on it 1331 01:18:18,159 --> 01:18:20,293 but I didn't mind too much. 1332 01:18:20,359 --> 01:18:23,000 It came to represent a tumultuous time in my life. 1333 01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:27,253 But now, I'm 30. 1334 01:18:27,319 --> 01:18:30,640 And I'm taking steps towards finding inner stability. 1335 01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:34,774 I crossed the globe 1336 01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:38,479 to chase the most stable figure I had in my adult life. 1337 01:18:40,359 --> 01:18:41,894 Blair. 1338 01:18:41,960 --> 01:18:43,239 It's always Blair. 1339 01:18:44,359 --> 01:18:46,199 I don't know if she'll be interested. 1340 01:18:47,199 --> 01:18:48,680 But I have to try. 1341 01:18:49,680 --> 01:18:51,279 I have to take the chance. 1342 01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:01,640 And even if it doesn't work out, 1343 01:19:03,399 --> 01:19:05,439 maybe I'll learn something. 1344 01:19:18,079 --> 01:19:20,359 (knocking) 1345 01:19:42,720 --> 01:19:45,640 (light rock music) 85271