All language subtitles for 1_American Dad S21E04 Touch the Sun A Chimborazo Adventure 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_English

Is the new stove coming today?
Is it Stove Day?

Merry Stove Day, Jeff.

And we're not getting
just any old stove.

Le Bon Chaud is the fanciest
French stove money can buy.

Ooh-la-la.

You've heard of
Emily in Paris,

but have you heard of Steve
in an apron?

Did someone order a new stove?

That cheap piece of crap's
not Le Bon Chaud.

That European stove
you wanted was way overpriced.

What the hell, Dad?

I invited Nerfer over
to make scrambled eggs.

I'm gonna look like
a damn fool.

Does anyone else
hear a loud hiss?

Obviously just a stove snake.
Calm down.

Huh. That hose
shouldn't be there.

Hey, Candace. Yep.
Stan bought another appliance.

Better send
the big ambulance.

It's the whole family
this time.

♪ Good morning, USA ♪

♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be
A wonderful day ♪

♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪

♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪

♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪

♪ Good morning, USA ♪

Ah!

♪ Good morning, USA ♪

You are all very lucky.

I have never
in my entire career
as a doctor

seen a family this severely
deprived of oxygen.

First day being a doctor,
so I've been saying
stuff like that a lot.

Okay, Smiths,
time for your diagnosis.

You're all going to live.

Wow. We almost died.

Yeah, it really puts things
in perspective.

We need to start living
our lives to the fullest

and do all the things
that we've been putting off.

I always wanted to try
the Tiny Tacos from
Jack in the Box.

And you know what?
I'm gonna go for it.

I'm finally gonna start
wearing low-rise jeans,

even though Barry says
I don't have the ass for it.

My whole life,
I've had a dream.

It has captivated
my imagination,

and enthralled me,
but it has also frightened me.

Everest, the highest peak
on Earth.

The ultimate test
of human will.

Many have died trying.

But those who reach the summit
have achieved true greatness.

As mountaineer
Sir Edmund Hillary said,

"It's not the mountain
we conquer but ourselves."

Mine sounds stupid now.

- I wanna do Mom's thing.
- Yeah, me too.

I want to get super high.

This family
is going to conquer
Mount Everest.

In that case,
I'd better write you
a prescription for adventure.

Isn't it wonderful how things
work out?

You need to book a trip,

and it's the grand opening
of my travel agency.

Can I offer you
a water, coffee,
maybe a glass of champagne?

Lovely. I'll take all three.

You called my bluff.
I don't have any
of those beverages.

But what I can offer you
is the trip of a lifetime.

I've done my research, and
here's what an Everest climb
package costs.

Wow. That's a lot.
But I could work some overtime

and maybe look into
starting an OnlyFans account.

Obviously, just tasteful solo
stuff.

That's the per person charge.

This is the whole enchilada.

That enchilada
is too many tamales.

Don't panic.
Klaus has an alternative.

Thank goodness. What is it?

Zorbing. Sport of the future.

Klaus, focus. Maybe there's
a more affordable mountain
we could climb.

This Mount Chimborazo
is really cheap.

- Not sure I can recommend--
- Chimborazo it is.

Oh-ho!

It says here that
because of the
equatorial bulge,

the summit of Chimborazo is
actually the closest point on
Earth to the sun.

Of course,
the equatorial bulge.

That's super, because
I'm an OG bulge boy.

Ride or die.
Bulge boys, mount up.

And I ain't exactly
complaining about
the proximity to the sun.

Why are we flying
on Air Ecuador?

Air Ecuador doesn't only fly
to Ecuador,

like how
Southwest doesn't only
fly to the southwest.

And Virgin Air doesn't just
fly to your bedroom. Boom.

I'm not feeling my look today.

You ever walk out of
the house and realize
you look like an idiot?

I mean,
this guy knows how I feel.

You still haven't told
the family they're not
going to Everest?

I'm waiting for the perfect
moment. I'm thinking right
at the summit.

Well, good luck with that.
I'm gonna go hit on divorcees

in the glass-walled smoking
section that looks like
a futuristic prison.

Well, I somehow
made it even worse.

I am pumped for this.
I mean, it's Everest.

Nothing else can compare.

Technically, everything
can be compared.
That's how comparing works.

Have you noticed that Dad's
acting a little weird?
Watch this.

I sure am excited
to climb Everest.

It's cool to be up
really high.

But it's more important,
at least to me, to be close
to the sun.

Dad, why do you keep
talking about the sun?

I'm not doing that.
Hey, switching subjects.

Did you know that
one million Earths
would fit inside the sun?

Stan, what the hell
is going on?

- We're going
to Everest, right?
- Klaus.

Well, I was gonna
wait for the summit,
but you ruined my surprise.

We are going
to Mount Chimborazo.

And the crowd goes wild.

Stan, I wanted
to go to Everest.

I wanted to stand
on the highest point.

If you talk about
the sun one more time,
I will cut your tongue out.

We almost died
and vowed to live life
to the fullest,

and you bring us
to Mount Chin-beard-rat-turd.

Was it the money,
you damn cheapskate?

Dad, I hate you.
You're so annoying.
How dare you?

All I wanted was
to get my family close to
the sun on a budget.

- Come on.
- I don't understand why
they're so mad.

I almost suspect
they're unfamiliar
with the equatorial bulge.

We should probably hit
the sack. Gotta get up early
for our big climb.

We are not climbing
that dinky little mountain.

Come on, kids.
Let's go get drunk.

That's "Bye, Felicia"
in Sherpa.

Which I learned for nothing.

Everyone is being
so mean to me
about Chimborazo.

Stan, we can still turn
this trip around.

I took it upon myself
to book you all
a 5:00 a.m. Zorb.

Someone has forgotten
what Zorbing is.

What's with this music?

Would it kill this dude
to play some Alice In Chains?

Another round of drinks
for our foreign visitors,

and I also made
little paintings
of each of you.

A souvenir of your trip.

My God.
How do we get rid
of this dingleberry?

I don't know.
He's kind of got a cool style.

If you need anything else,
don't hesitate to call
my name.

Vicente.

Are we really gonna climb
this lame-ass mountain?

No. You cannot climb
Chimborazo this time of year.

Very dangerous.
Certain death.

Stan, did you know
this mountain was
a death trap?

Stan's gone.

A few hours ago,
he up and left, mumbling,

"Screw the family.
I'm gonna climb Chimborazo
on my own."

We must go after your father
and find him before he meets
his death on the mountain.

Prepare yourself
for the climb.
We leave at dawn.

Let's just leave now.

I hate going to bed
then having to get up
all groggy.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, I totally agree.

No, we leave at dawn.

Dawn is when you leave
to climb a mountain, Jeff.

Vicente knows my name.

Ow! Hey, Vicente, are you
getting a lot of rocks
in your sandals?

Yeah, me neither.

I'm so annoyed your dumb
father is climbing this stump
of a mountain.

You know, technically,
because of the
equatorial bulge--

Hey, I'm thirsty.
Did anybody bring any water?

Not to worry.

Chimborazo has many treats
for travelers.

But watch out, because
sometimes the travelers
become the treats.

Whoa.

- Can I keep this knife?
- No.

Eh. I prefer
grapefruit LaCroix.

Because of the
volcanic activity below

and the grapefruit
orchard above,

- this stream--
- Tastes just like
grapefruit LaCroix.

Call me when you have
a Sierra Mist river.

Chimborazo,
she is a dangerous slut.

Jeff, watch out.

Sorry. I thought that tree
behind you was a monster.

- Can I have this knife?
- No, man. It's not, like,
free knife day.

I recently guided an artist
from Pixar up the mountain.

He was thinking of setting
the next Pixar movie
on Chimborazo.

About a country alpaca
that moves down
the mountains

and gets bullied by a bunch
of mean city alpacas.

Alpaca pillow to that movie,
because it sounds
like a snooze.

Hello, Esmeralda.
Klaus Heissler.

I need to cancel
all seven of the Zorb
sessions that I booked.

I'm sorry. You booked
our non-refundable
Zorb experiences.

I can offer you a credit.
You could use it for
a helicopter tour, or--

Look, hon, you're not
dealing with some
tourist schmuck.

- I'm a travel agent.
- You seem like
a tourist schmuck.

I just told you
I wasn't one of those.

Okay, that's it.
Let's settle this like adults.

Adults inside Zorbs.
I challenge you
to a Zorb fight.

I accept.

But only because
I feel like humiliating
a fish today.

Joke's on you.

Being humiliated by
a beautiful woman
is a huge turn-on for me.

Well, sure.
This view is a little
magnificent, I guess.

Yeah, and I have to say,

I didn't mind that meadow
back there that smelled
like fresh waffles.

Family meeting right now.
I know what's happening.

You're starting
to have a good time.
Well, knock it off.

Climbing Everest
was the dream,

and yet your father
brought us to Chimbo-Crapo.

Right. Dad always
does stuff like this,

and we start having fun
and let him off the hook,

but not this time, capisce?

I could go for
a capisce right now.

Hungry? The mountain,
she provides.

This whole mountain is edible.

Mmm.

No. That's just dirt.

- How is it? Bad, right?
- Yeah.

Unless you're into perfectly
cooked and seasoned meat
that melts in your mouth.

Oh, a cute little monkey.

I think it looks like
Richard Nixon.

You're right.
And probably
just as big a liar.

I'll bet he wants
to take us off
the gold standard too.

That was just
a little joke nobody got.

I love you.

Fear not.

The mountain, she will
provide us shelter from
the passing storm.

Yes. Mother mountain.

She will nestle us
in the cleavage
of her rock-hard tits.

Ahhh!

Chimborazo, she is
a dangerous slut.

Where are we?

Inside a crystal geode
that has grown within
the mountain for eons.

Some call this
the heart of Chimborazo.

I have to admit,
I feel a little good.

It is believed
that these crystals
have healing powers.

It's how I've managed
to stay in such good shape

even though
I am 97 years old.

Okay. I can't
fight it anymore.

I'm having a wonderful time.

Oh, my God.
Thank you.
I love this mountain.

But when we find
your father,

we can't tell him
that we enjoyed
ourselves, okay?

I'm still very mad at him.

I mean, pretty mad. I think.

I don't know.

I feel so amazing
in this [bleep] cave.

Come. The rain has passed.
We must go.

Too long in here,
you turn into a baby.

Dad.

Look who decided to climb
the crappy mountain that
no one likes

to find the dad
that everyone hates.

You're alive.
But you look terrible.

This mountain is hell.

I crossed a river of sulfur,
bramble fields,

and there were
so many spiders.

Sounds like
you traveled through

El Valle Azufre
de Aranas y Zarzas.

The Sulfurous Brambly Valley
of Spiders.

I see you made a friend.
That's fun.

I met a pack of wolves
that stole my shoes.

Stan, I'm sorry that
you had a tough time.

But that doesn't
change the fact--

No. I will not stand for this.

I must defend the honor
of this broken man.

Everyone can tell
he is a simple working man
that makes very little money.

I mean, I do all right.

He tries his best to provide
his family with fun,
affordable vacation.

And what do you people do?

You complain about everything.

Yeah. Oh, man.
I spit on my sandals.

I can't lie.

The truth is we've had
a wonderful time.

- We love Chimborazo.
- I've secretly treasured
every moment.

And I love this monkey!

I can't wait to tell
everyone I know
about this place.

Oh, yeah.
Everybody is gonna
hear about this mountain.

As soon as I have service,
I'm gonna blow Instagram up.

- Click.
- That's not a click.

This is a click.

- I'm partial to clacks myself.
- Enough.

Vicente, what are you doing?

I am doing my job.

My real job.

You see,
I am not actually
a sexy waiter

or a super-hot mountain guide.

I am the protector
of Chimborazo.

And as the protector
of Chimborazo,
I must kill you all.

Because I took a dump
in that crystal cave?

You did what?

I must kill you to keep this
sacred place from being ruined
like Everest has been.

I won't let it be flooded
with stupid tourists.

And thus, your family
cannot live to tell the tale
of Chimborazo.

As we say in Ecuador,
"Sowwy".

Secret protector
of the mountain? Boring.
I've lost all interest.

I was hoping his secret
was something impressive,

like he could blow himself.

Where are you taking us,
Vicente?

To El Culo del
Diablo que Pica.

The Devil's Itchy Butthole.

Where I'm going to throw you
into a pit of hot magma.

We never would have
told anybody about this place,

until you made us
fall in love with it.

I always end up doing this.

I feel compelled
to show people
the beauty of Chimborazo,

and then I feel compelled
to kill them.

- Dad, do something.
- Oh, I thought I couldn't
do anything right.

But now that you want me
to save your lives,
I'm Mr. Popularity.

Well, okay.

So weak.

Maybe from the many dozens
of spider bites.

Sure, sure. I know
three of these are nipples,
but it's still a lot.

Phew.

Okay.

I know we're supposed
to be fighting, but that was--

Amazing.

Where'd you learn
to Zorb like that?

Every night,
I have the same dream.

And in the dream,
I am Zorbing.

Same.

I never thought
I'd find someone that loves
Zorbs as much as I do.

I never thought
I'd meet such a cute fish.

I'm kissing.

I can't wait for you
to meet my family when
they get back with Vicente.

They're with Vicente?
Oh, no.

The Devil's Itchy Butthole.

A suitable end
for those who would threaten

the pristine beauty
of Chimborazo.

But we aren't. I swear.
We would never--

- My bad.
- Dad's useless.

So we need to do something
about Vicente.

One thing I've noticed about
Vicente, he is very horny
for this mountain.

We can use his love
of the mountain against him.

Yeah. We'll trick him
into showing us more
and more of the mountain

until we have
a chance to escape.

All right, Vicente,
you might as well just
go ahead and throw us in.

We've seen all there is
to see on old Chimborazo.

Oh! Far from it.

She's barely pulled up
her dress for you.

You're saying there's more
to this beautiful mountain?

Ah! I know I should
just throw you in
the magma. But...

- Whoa.
- It's incredible.

These creatures
are found only here,
near the top of Chimborazo.

You are one of
the few outsiders
to ever see them.

Wow. Cool bird.

We call that one
Feather Bent Squawkadelic.

Wow. Cool name.

This sleeve of enchanted
E.L. Fudges has got me
feeling right as rain.

I know he wants to kill us,
but I kind of agree
with Vicente.

It would be terrible
if tourists ruin
this mountain.

Yeah, this place is special.

Well, well, well.
Chimborazo, eh?

Not such a bad idea after all.

Three cheers for Stan.
Father of the year.

Squawk, squawk, squawk!

She really is quite
the mountain.

She sure is. Wait a minute.
I just remembered.

- We're about to get murdered.
- It's always something.

You can never just enjoy
the moment.

Pixar is back
to make their alpaca movie.

This ends now.

- Why don't you use your gun?
- That's not a gun.

It is another amazing creature
found only on Chimborazo.

This mountain
is too important.

We must join Vicente
and fight for it.

For Chimborazo!

Squawk! Squawk!

Let's beat up some nerds!

Next time you'll think twice
before you mess with Pixar.

- Is that--
- Guys, I met someone.

I'm in love.

Abuelo!

Esmeralda, Pixar is back.

Yeah. Suck it, Pixar.

I misjudged this family.

You are pure of heart
and spirit.

You love this mountain
as I do.

I name you all henceforth

fellow protectors
of Chimborazo.

- Thank you, Vicente.
- Do we actually
have to do anything?

With that Pixar movie shelved,
Chimborazo shall remain
a secret forever.