All language subtitles for Key.And.Peele.S01E02.Black.Hawk.Up.BluRay.x264.AAC.2.0-LeRalouf

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil) Download
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese Download
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,711 - ♪ When I roll down the street brothers all take a knee ♪ 2 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,880 ♪ Honeys dropping their Gs, wanting pieces of me ♪ 3 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,382 ♪ 'Cause I run this whole block ♪ 4 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,925 ♪ With these rhymes and this glock ♪ 5 00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:10,760 ♪ Make this whole damn 'hood tick ♪ 6 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:13,096 ♪ This my town, I'm the talk, cock of the walk ♪ 7 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:15,515 ♪ I'm the boss and the king, niggas kissing my ass ♪ 8 00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,183 ♪ And bitches kissing my ring ♪ 9 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,894 What's up, yeah! Oh, shit, nigga. 10 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,270 You know it's true. 11 00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:23,606 Yeah. Y- 12 00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:36,035 - I'm the leader of the free world. 13 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:47,630 - I mean, the president, how you-? 14 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,424 Forget y'all. 15 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,782 - Hey. 16 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,952 - Wow. - Pretty good. 17 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,246 Really? 18 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,915 - Welcome to the show. I am Keegan. 19 00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,751 - And I am Jordan. - And this is Key and Peele. 20 00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:28,045 - Yes, welcome. - Thank you for coming. 21 00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,213 - Keegan and I both have white moms. 22 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:30,590 - Yes, yes. - This is true. 23 00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,383 We have white moms, and, uh, the thing 24 00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,594 about having a white mom and being a black guy is, 25 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,055 as a kid, a white mom can't hit a black kid in public. 26 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,558 - Can't do it. Can't do it. 27 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:43,644 Gets too racial too fast. - That's right. 28 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,689 It escalates. It escalates to this racial thing, and I was- 29 00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,941 I became aware of this at a very young age. 30 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,861 I think my mother spanked me once in the grocery store. 31 00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:54,155 I swear to God, Keegan, l- you know that tear 32 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,449 that Denzel Washington does in Glory... 33 00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,576 - Yeah. - When he's getting whipped? 34 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,036 - Yeah, yeah. - That's what I did, and l- 35 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,662 I promise you, just instinctively, 36 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,706 it came out of me. This is what I did. 37 00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,666 Just hit me like you're my mom in the grocery store. 38 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,502 I said... ♪ Mama, don't you hit ♪ 39 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:11,631 ♪ No black boy's booty ♪ 40 00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:18,262 ♪ 200 years, ain't nothing changed ♪ 41 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:24,894 Mr. Louis... 42 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,063 Thank you for coming in 43 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,940 with your associates. 44 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:32,568 I know this is hard to hear, but... 45 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,153 we need to make some serious decisions 46 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,197 about your mother's health. Let's be honest. 47 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,074 She is getting on in years. 48 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,660 - Oh, snap. 49 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,079 Okay, I see how it is. I see how it is. 50 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:47,500 Well, yo mama so old, her last name is "osaurus." 51 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:52,004 - Boom! 52 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,049 - N-no, Mr. Louis, it wasn't an insult. 53 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,510 L-I was just saying that your mother's condition 54 00:02:57,636 --> 00:03:00,179 is deteriorating, uh, because she's getting older. 55 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:03,975 - Oh, see that's cold, though. That's a cold one, okay. 56 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,269 Okay, I see how it is. Hey, y'all. 57 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:09,981 Yo mama so old, in her history class, 58 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,440 they just wrote down what they was doing. 59 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,570 He's talking about- he's talking about- 60 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,446 ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch- 61 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:18,990 - That's you! 62 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,992 - Mr. Louis, this isn't an insult contest. 63 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,493 Not only is your mother elderly, 64 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,829 but also her ability to walk 65 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,956 is currently being affected by her weight. 66 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,416 - Oh. - Ooh. 67 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,835 - See, okay. It just got real. 68 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:34,088 - No, I'm not insulting her. I'm trying to tell you the- 69 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,300 - Yo mama is so fat, when she go to the movie theater, 70 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,385 bitch sitting next to everyone. 71 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:43,055 - Excuse me. Excuse me. - Listen to me, okay? 72 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,558 Your mother needs to manage her weight, 73 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,101 or there can be some real problems. 74 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,562 - Oh... kay! 75 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,772 All right. Oh, yeah. 76 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:55,276 Yo mama is so fat, she need a latitude and longitude number 77 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,528 to find her own asshole. 78 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,280 - Oh! 79 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:02,783 - Look at his face! Yeah! Look at his face! 80 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,327 - Ah! Ah! - Give it to him. 81 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:05,703 - Oh. - Give me some. 82 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,914 - It's coordinates, son. Coordinates. 83 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,582 Now who's the doctor? 84 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:12,001 - I am the doctor. Mr. Louis, I am. 85 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,295 And it is my job to make sure that your mother 86 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,047 is getting the care that she needs. 87 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:17,214 We are talking about the woman who took care 88 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,633 of you your whole life. 89 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,259 The least you can do is take care of her 90 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,720 in her old age and take this seriously! 91 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,019 - I'm sorry. 92 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,396 - I'm sorry that I lost my temper. 93 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:35,274 - No, really, doctor. 94 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,027 I guess... I was just joking around 95 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,656 because I know her condition is really serious. 96 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:45,493 And... I don't know, I guess humor 97 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,913 is the only way I can really deal with it, uh- 98 00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:53,084 I just know that she's said so many times 99 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,711 she doesn't want anything invasive done. 100 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:58,965 - Really? I was not aware of that. 101 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:00,883 Um, that's interesting, because she did not mention that 102 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,510 to me in our previous conversation. 103 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,513 'Course it was difficult to hear her 104 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:10,226 with my dick in her mouth. 105 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,820 Snap, Mr. Louis. 106 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:23,155 Oh, snap. 107 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:24,907 Now let's talk about the procedure. 108 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,535 - Hello, everybody out there. 109 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,412 This is Brock Favors with traffic on the ones. 110 00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,372 Chad Armstrong is out sick today, 111 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,916 so I am filling in from my usual land reports 112 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,293 and, uh, I'm up here in the chopper. 113 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:39,046 But I gotta tell you guys, I am loving the view. 114 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,382 Oh, shit! 115 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,925 Oh, my god! 116 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,386 Oh, oh, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop. 117 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:48,639 Oh! 118 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,516 Whew. 119 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,351 All right. 120 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,603 Well, we are, um, uh- 121 00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:56,272 we are over the 10. 122 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,149 It is massively clogged down there, 123 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:01,152 like a pint of maple syrup on a cool November morning. 124 00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,904 And we just-oh, shit! Motherfucker, god damn! 125 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,574 We gon' die in this motherfucker! 126 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,993 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! 127 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,870 Oh, my god! 128 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:16,709 Whew, whew, whew! 129 00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,502 Okay. 130 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:22,465 Okay, I am, uh- I am very sorry, folks. 131 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:25,468 It's a little bit of a bumpy ride up here. 132 00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:28,471 We are now approaching the 405, 133 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,640 ah, where the left lane is blocked by a mattress. 134 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:34,018 So somebody is, uh, gonna be doing 135 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,604 a little return to Ikea later today, you know what I'm say- 136 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:40,149 Oh, no, nigga, please! Shit! Oh, god damn! 137 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,984 Oh, get me out this motherfucking death machine 138 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,778 right now! Oh, no! 139 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,780 Black people ain't meant to be in the sky! 140 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,948 We ain't meant to be in the sky, man! 141 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:51,660 Oh, mama, help me. 142 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,746 Motherfucker. 143 00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:57,458 Oh, mama! Aah! Oh, shit! 144 00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,586 Well, the 405 is fucked up right now. 145 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,672 Ain't nobody going down this shit. I'm sorry. 146 00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:09,470 I'm sorry. I'm very sorry, folks. 147 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,930 I'm very sorry about that, 148 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,765 but I am losing my shit up here. 149 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,184 - Actually, you have every right to. 150 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,727 We're about to crash. 151 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,104 - Oh, fuck, help me! 152 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,438 Shit! Oh, my god, help! 153 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:23,651 Mama, please! Mama! Help! 154 00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:34,870 - So- so here's something. 155 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:38,833 Jordan and I love to watch white guys fight. 156 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,835 - Yes, favorite pastime. - It's sublime, mm-hmm. 157 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,670 - 2:00 a.m. Outside of a bar, 158 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,548 any night, any morning, you can see this, and- 159 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,258 - It's the great-it's- - Best thing in the world. 160 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,260 - It's like watching Nat Geo. - Oh, it's- 161 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,053 - It's the Discovery Channel for us. 162 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,638 It's Animal Planet. 163 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,723 Well, this is how it happens. - It's so great. 164 00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:57,059 - White guys-there's- it starts with phase one. 165 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,978 - Phase one, which is the, uh- the arm-back phase. 166 00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:00,896 - Hands back, just completely- - And chest out and arm back. 167 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,523 - Chest out, arms back. - And it's lots of, 168 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,108 "You wanna do something? Let's do something then." 169 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,693 - "What are you doing? What are you doing, bro?" 170 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,611 - "What are you doing?" - "You wanna do something?" 171 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,446 - "I'm already doing something." - I need to keep my arms back 172 00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:12,575 as if they're so dangerous, I gotta keep them back here. 173 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,910 - Yo, phase two. - Phase two. 174 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,412 - They l- they lock horns. 175 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,205 - "You w-let's go. Let go of me, dude." 176 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,582 "Let go of me right now." - "Let go of my shirt." 177 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,542 - "Let go of my shirt. I'm gonna-" 178 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,335 - "I'm not on your shirt." - "You're on my shirt, dude. 179 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:26,213 "Get off of my shirt, man. Get off my shirt. 180 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,631 Get off of my shirt." - "Dude." 181 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,925 - "Let go of my shirt." 182 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,719 - Two minutes later. - Two minutes later. 183 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,846 "I fucking love you!" - "You're my best friend, dog." 184 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,764 - "You are my brother, dude. Do you know that?" 185 00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:36,932 - "I would never do anything to you." 186 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,100 - "I would never do that to you." 187 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,476 - Fast-forward two minutes. 188 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:42,062 - "All right, just get off me." - "What the hell?" 189 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,480 - "Let go of me." - "You let go of me, dude." 190 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,232 - "Let go of me." - "You let go of-" 191 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,651 White dudes cannot decide if they want to fight or not. 192 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,320 - Yeah. - They can't do it. 193 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,488 - Then phase four comes, and that's when one of the guys 194 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:54,074 has the genius idea to do the "fake-out." 195 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,535 And, uh, so he's gonna walk away, act like- 196 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,205 and then do a sneak attack 197 00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:01,582 using karate, which he does not practice. 198 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,542 - Right, so it's like- - So it's just like- 199 00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,044 - "I don't even care. I don't even care anymore, dude." 200 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,253 - "I don't care." - "Forget about that. 201 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:10,591 You know what?" 202 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,218 - "What are you doing, man?" 203 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:16,138 And always-always, there is a drunk white girl 204 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,890 on the sidelines just talking about, 205 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,726 "You guys, stop fighting!" 206 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:24,313 "Megan, shut up." 207 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,899 - "I don't need your help, Megan." 208 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,817 - "You guys are best friends!" 209 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:31,362 - "Megan, seriously, Megan. 210 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,529 Shut up!" 211 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,160 - I love this place. - This place is amazing. 212 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:39,954 - Amazing. - So hot. 213 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,163 - Got like four stars somewhere. - I heard it got six stars, 214 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:42,581 which is, like, impossible. 215 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,416 - Oh, my god. Let's take a picture. 216 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,001 - Let's take a picture right now. Oh, my god, here we go. 217 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,544 - Oh, my god, I'm making a face. 218 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:49,004 - Oh, my god, I'm, like, one big nose. Delete it. 219 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,215 Ew, delete it. 220 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,009 - Ew. - What am I doing? I'm gross. 221 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,344 - Why do I look like an orca whale? 222 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,471 - Delete it. - Delete it. 223 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,848 - Everybody on the ground! 224 00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,517 - Oh, my god. We're getting robbed. 225 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,352 - Oh, my god, oh my god, oh, my god, oh, my- 226 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,187 Oh, my god, what's my eye doing? 227 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,189 - Ew, I look like I'm 40. 228 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,732 Delete it. - Oh, my god. 229 00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:09,984 - Let's get out of here, but delete it. 230 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:13,237 - Get down! Down! 231 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,114 - Oh, my god, I look like somebody unwrapped a mummy. 232 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,782 - God, I look like a five-year-old drew me. 233 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,367 - Totally delete it. - Delete it. 234 00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,868 - Delete it. - Right? 235 00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:22,830 - Police! Drop your weapon! 236 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,498 - Ew, I totally look like Cloverfield. 237 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,292 - Did I just have a stroke or something? 238 00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,626 Delete it. 239 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:28,919 - Right? - Yeah. 240 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:32,214 - L-ladies, can you just show me 241 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,674 the picture you were talking about, please? 242 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,968 - Oh, it's like- - Yeah, stop. 243 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,970 Great, right there. That's great. 244 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:39,763 Grady, we got a clear shot of the perpetrator. 245 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,098 He's holding a shotgun and everything. 246 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,891 Wai-wait, wait, where'd the picture go? 247 00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:44,268 - We deleted it. - Gross. 248 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:45,894 - What? - I had childbirth face. 249 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,230 - Yeah, I looked like my grandmother having an orgasm. 250 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,107 - Delete it. - Delete it. 251 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,527 - Grady, book these idiots for destroying evidence. 252 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,322 - Ow. Ew. 253 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,781 Why are you being so "manhandly"? 254 00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,116 - I can't believe this. Why are we even- 255 00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:00,617 we were the heroes of the evening. 256 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,202 - Ridiculous. - We stopped the perpetrator. 257 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,662 Now we're being arrested? - Can we please- 258 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,247 Oh, my god, these cops should be arrested. 259 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,415 - This is a miscarriage of justice, the entire th- 260 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,251 - What? No fucking way. 261 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:10,669 - Oh, my god, you cannot- - Delete it. 262 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,087 - You cannot arrest me with that picture. 263 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,464 Are you kidding me? - Delete it. 264 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,507 - I was blinking. This is ridiculous. 265 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,009 - Delete it. - Delete it right now. 266 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:18,218 Delete it. You must delete this photo. 267 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,845 - Delete it. No. - Delete it. 268 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:21,180 I'm not leaving until he deletes it. 269 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,848 - He has a picture of us. Delete it. 270 00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,975 - I'm not leaving until he- you gotta delete it! 271 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,393 You've gotta delete it. - Just delete it. 272 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,270 - You have to delete this pic- - Delete it! 273 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,816 - ♪ But I don't need you ♪ 274 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,235 - Kee-when Keegan laughs, when he finds something funny... 275 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,196 - Mm-hmm. - It's over, you have to move. 276 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,781 - I have to move. 277 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:39,948 It's out of the question for me to laugh sitting still. 278 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,617 It doesn't happen. 279 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,410 If I'm watching television alone, by myself, 280 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,745 in my home, this will happen. 281 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,043 Um, and a little bit of these. 282 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,252 Yeah. - Nobody- 283 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,921 nobody even there to watch it. 284 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,172 - I can't do it. I can't sit still. 285 00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:56,757 I have to express myself physically, 286 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,009 and so a really serious situation for me 287 00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:00,636 is watching a comedy on a plane. 288 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,221 - Oh, gosh. - That is a problem. 289 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:03,931 - Yes, l-I do feel for your fellow passengers. 290 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,976 - I was literally on a plane watching Bridesmaids, 291 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,436 and you remember the scene where she's got on the wedding dress, 292 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,604 and she poops in the middle of the street? 293 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,231 - Yeah. 294 00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:13,440 - That scene comes on, and this is what literally happens to me. 295 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,608 I go-I went like this- I went, 296 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:18,404 "Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh. 297 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:21,073 Oh! This-excuse me." 298 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,408 "Oh, shit!" 299 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:23,951 "Oh, shit! 300 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,327 "Oh, shit! 301 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,704 Oh, drink cart. Drink cart." 302 00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:32,167 I'M SORRY- Whoo! 303 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,253 - Ladies and gentlemen, 304 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:37,297 please turn off your cell phones and enjoy our production 305 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:41,051 of Lunch with Greatness. 306 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:42,803 - My, my, my. 307 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,639 What a beautiful day In Montgomery, Alabama. 308 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:49,685 I swear, the sun is so hot, I nearly melted. 309 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,895 - Indeed, Dr. King, but I suspect 310 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,647 we didn't meet here to talk about the weather. 311 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,067 - Indeed, brother Malcolm. 312 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,695 Unless, of course, we articulate 313 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,906 that the sun in this country 314 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:06,076 shines brighter on some than it does on others. 315 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:10,664 - Mm. - Yeah. 316 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:14,209 - Yes, but when the sun does shine on us, 317 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,087 it is growing the seeds of revolution. 318 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:21,300 - Amen. - That's what I'm talking about. 319 00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:25,596 - I see your point, brother Malcolm, 320 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:31,018 but do not those same seeds need to be watered with love? 321 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:38,150 - I suppose that is the subject of some discussion, Dr. King. 322 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:44,781 - And I am all for discussion, brother Malcolm. 323 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,950 Unless, of course, the words devolve 324 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,745 into proclamations of hate. 325 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:53,165 - Yes. - Right. 326 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:57,753 - Well, is that not why we are here today, Dr. King- 327 00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,130 to discuss? 328 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,263 - Yes, brother Malcolm. 329 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:11,683 And I am confident that as we discuss- 330 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:12,893 - We are going to discuss it 331 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,937 and discuss it 332 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:19,858 until I say that 333 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:24,154 our people have never resorted to violence 334 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,241 before the white man gave them no choice 335 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,617 but to pay him back 336 00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:30,953 in the only currency he understands. 337 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,287 - Yes. 338 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,585 - Brother Malcolm, 339 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,088 is that what you really have to say... 340 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,799 at this point... in our lunch? 341 00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:46,343 - Indeed, Dr. King, 342 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:50,222 because we didn't land on Plymouth Rock, 343 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,599 Plymouth Rock landed on us. 344 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,106 - Amen. - Mm-hmm. 345 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,774 - Okay, well, yes. All right. 346 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,318 Yeah, l-I've heard you say that before. 347 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:07,197 I... don't know why we're talking about rocks when, 348 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:10,075 in fact, it is the flesh and the bone 349 00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:12,744 and the-the dreams- l-I have a dream 350 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,622 that someday our children will be judged 351 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,499 by the content of their character, 352 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,835 not by the color of their skin. 353 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,673 - Same for me. Same for me. 354 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,175 In fact, I believe that one day, 355 00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:28,885 a black man will become the president 356 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,637 of the United States of America. 357 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,723 Yes. 358 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,766 - Hopefully for eight years. 359 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,476 Obama 2012. 360 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,941 - Oh, of course, eight years. Of course, eight years. 361 00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,068 That's a given, right? That's a given. 362 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:47,946 You know? I mean, but in order to get there, 363 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,157 isn't he going to need the help 364 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:53,785 of our strong, beautiful, black women? 365 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,955 Gotta respect the sisters. 366 00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:59,416 Gotta respect the sisters! 367 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,251 Gotta respect the sisters. 368 00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,422 - As Wesley Snipes said in Passenger 57, 369 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:08,175 "Always bet on black." Yeah. 370 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:17,517 - ♪ The west side is the best side ♪ 371 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:30,739 - Okay, so Keegan and l- we grew up in the '90s. 372 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,616 - Yes. - Uh, and if you don't know, 373 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,034 the fashion in the '90s was god-awful. 374 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,285 - Horrific. 375 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,120 And the-and the worst- the worst thing 376 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,456 in all the '90s were Z Cavariccis. 377 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,249 - See I d- I don't even know this. 378 00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:44,252 - You know, Z Cavariccis- They-they were a pant. 379 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:47,214 And-and the waist of the pant was so high, it was like, 380 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,007 "what are you, a toreador?" - Mm-hmm. 381 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,511 - And they had these pockets that had these pleats on them, 382 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:55,013 which gave the illusion of hips on a man. 383 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,640 On a man. - Oh, yeah. 384 00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,475 - The leg looked like an ice cream cone, 385 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,936 Just, whoop! Tapered in here. 386 00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:03,063 And then at the bottom, you would take the excess 387 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,315 and just go like that and roll them up 388 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,151 to taper an already tapered pant! 389 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,987 Why are you tapering the tapered pant? 390 00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:12,656 - Why-why are you- why are you getting so mad? 391 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,324 - Because I wore them, Jordan. 392 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,664 I wore them. 393 00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:34,219 - ♪ Ooh ♪ - ♪ Whoa oh oh ♪ 394 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:38,348 - ♪ Oh ♪ - ♪ Whoa oh oh oh ♪ 395 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:43,812 ♪ Ooh, you know that I been waiting ♪ 396 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:47,190 ♪ Had this feeling for so long ♪ 397 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,401 ♪ And it feels so right, baby ♪ 398 00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:53,655 ♪ How could this feeling be wrong? ♪ 399 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:57,409 - ♪ Sometimes the thing that you been searching for ♪ 400 00:17:57,535 --> 00:18:00,537 ♪ Has been right there the whole time ♪ 401 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,998 ♪ So, baby, I'm here to tell ya ♪ 402 00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:07,711 ♪ I'm waiting right here just to make you all mine, you ♪ 403 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:11,339 ♪ You're the one I always hoped for, you ♪ 404 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:14,676 - ♪ It's a feeling I can't hide, you ♪ 405 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,803 - ♪ And I always been your baby ♪ 406 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,891 ♪ Standing right here by your side ♪ 407 00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:24,936 ♪ Yeah, it's been building up inside of me ♪ 408 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,397 ♪ And I just gotta come out ♪ 409 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:30,317 - ♪ And tell you what I'm feeling, girl ♪ 410 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:34,154 ♪ Tell you our love is what I'm talkin' about ♪ 411 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,908 - ♪ I gotta tell you what my heart knows ♪ 412 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:41,119 ♪ And what is has known for so long ♪ 413 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,955 - ♪ I finally need to show you ♪ 414 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,749 ♪ My arms are wide open ♪ 415 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,959 ♪ That's where you belong, you ♪ 416 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,796 ♪ You know I'll make love to you gently, you ♪ 417 00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:55,175 - ♪ The way I've seen it in my mind, you ♪ 418 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,761 - ♪ I will take care of you, baby ♪ 419 00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:59,387 - ♪ There ain't no rush, baby ♪ 420 00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:00,889 ♪ Let's take our sweet time ♪ 421 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,891 - ♪ I do it to you slow ♪ 422 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:04,643 ♪ The way you've never done before ♪ 423 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:07,938 - ♪ Open up your mind, I will open up your door ♪ 424 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:11,775 - ♪ I been searchin' all around for the one I can call mine ♪ 425 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,276 - ♪ Sometimes the thing you're searching for ♪ 426 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:16,112 ♪ Has been there the whole time, you ♪ 427 00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:19,991 - ♪ I want to give you all I got now, you ♪ 428 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:23,453 - ♪ And I'll take all you can give, you ♪ 429 00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,288 ♪ And I'll never turn my back on you ♪ 430 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,582 ♪ As long as we both shall live ♪ 431 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,584 - ♪ I'm talking 'bout you ♪ 432 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:32,295 - ♪ You, standing right in front of you ♪ 433 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,005 ♪ You, whoo ♪ 434 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,590 ♪ Nothing left to hide ♪ 435 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,343 ♪ Sugar, said I'm telling you ♪ 436 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:42,347 ♪ Everything I've kept very deep inside ♪ 437 00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:45,600 ♪ Oh, rubbing up against your big, bald head ♪ 438 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,227 ♪ Your big, bald head ♪ 439 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,479 ♪ I said your big, bald head, and then I ♪ 440 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,565 ♪ There's no one else I could be possibly ♪ 441 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,526 ♪ Talking about 'cause you are bald ♪ 442 00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:56,069 ♪ And you are here ♪ 443 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,293 ♪ You ♪ 444 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:15,005 ♪ You're a woman, I'm a man now ♪ 445 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,924 ♪ And you know that's how I like it ♪ 446 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,594 ♪ And I'm specifically talkin' 'bout you ♪ 447 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,805 ♪ Because you're a girl, and I am the opposite ♪ 448 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:27,684 ♪ You, woman, woman, woman, woman, woman ♪ 449 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:31,688 ♪ You are a woman, I am a man ♪ 450 00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:34,649 ♪ You know I like women ♪ 451 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:37,444 ♪ Because I am a man ♪ 452 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:41,948 ♪ Never liked a man in my life before ♪ 453 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,117 ♪ And I don't like one now ♪ 454 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,580 - Thank you so much. - Thank you. 455 00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:49,873 - Good night, everybody. - Good night. 456 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,041 - Good night. What? 457 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,584 You wanna go? You wanna go? 458 00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,294 - You wanna go? - You wanna do it? 459 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,588 You wanna go do it right now? Let's go right now. 460 00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:57,756 - Let go of my shirt, dude. - Let go of my shirt, dude. 461 00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,257 - Let go of my- 462 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:02,260 - ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 463 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,387 - Oh, yeah. 464 00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:08,683 - We asked 'em to move black people down, please. 465 00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:10,644 - Black people in the front. - We have enough. 466 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:11,978 I love how, if you put white people in the back, 467 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,563 all of the sudden, they become rowdy. 468 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:16,691 What the fuck is that? "Yeah!" 469 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,610 - See, we didn't really mind being in the back 470 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:21,404 all those years. It's fun as shit back there. 33358

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.