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1
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This programme contains
some strong language
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00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,520
JOSH GROANS
3
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Fuck.
4
00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:33,480
Morning. What you doing up?
It's a Saturday.
5
00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:36,240
I've got work. Also I think the sofa
did something to my neck.
6
00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,560
Lars does a great massage.
I'm sure he'd be up for it.
7
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,600
Ah, um... I think it's probably OK.
8
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Do you think...do you think
you'll carry on with the teaching?
9
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I've just got back, mate.
Give a girl a break.
10
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,520
Right. Fair enough.
Now you're back, I'd, um...
11
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,520
I'd love to have a conversation
at some point.
12
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,320
Oh, no, we're fine on the sofa, tbh.
13
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,360
We just didn't know you were
coming back last night.
14
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,520
No, I mean more, really...
15
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..where we left things.
How we left things, really.
16
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Nothing to talk about.
It's all good.
17
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,520
You're fine on the sofa,
right, babe?
18
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,280
Oh, definitely!
Looks like a great one.
19
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,240
Oh! OK, um...
20
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I can't quite think of
a delicate way to say this.
21
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,280
Say what?
I'm saying it. Maybe you could...
22
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,680
..wash the sheets? Why?
23
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,800
Oh, I think he means because of
the sex juices, babe. Oh...
24
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It's OK. Also, do you have
any carpet shampoo?
25
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I should go. Oh, shame.
26
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:42,440
Looks like just the two of us now.
Right. Yeah. Sweet.
27
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:45,520
Maybe we should go out. Yeah.
28
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,280
Have you ever been to
a recording studio?
29
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,640
No, sorry. Got to go, bye!
30
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DOOR SLAMS
31
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Hmm...
32
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DOORBELL RINGS
33
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:26,120
Tiwa! Can I stay here for a bit?
I've kinda been kicked out.
34
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,000
I mean, what was I meant to do,
not get hammered on my birthday?
35
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,560
Well... And it's not like I didn't
try and clean it up.
36
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,440
Like, I cleaned it up, but
I sort of just rubbed it in more.
37
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,240
That's probably...
Even if I did know
38
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,200
it was some fucking family heirloom,
39
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,640
it's not like I chose to puke on it.
Fair, yeah. So...
40
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,520
She'll cool down in a couple
of days. A week at most.
41
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,760
A week? Fucking posh people
own property.
42
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,480
No offence. So, er, where's Josh?
43
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,880
Your love is only dust
44
00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,480
Your love is only
45
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:05,720
Your love is only dust.
46
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,080
I think that might be the one,
Zephyr.
47
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,960
Shall we do another 40 takes,
just to be sure?
48
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,000
I'm not the one producing this,
you are.
49
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,680
I'm just here to press record.
Someone's Mr Grumpy today.
50
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,240
I'm not Mr Grumpy, I'm fine.
51
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,160
You don't sound fine, Mr Grumpy.
52
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,120
Did Fola dump you? No!
53
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:30,280
But I did sort of accidentally ask
her to move in with me last night.
54
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,960
After how long?
Well, nearly six months!
55
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:37,320
Minus a few. Well, technically,
three months. Zero chill.
56
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,000
We met her sister,
and she introduced me as her friend.
57
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,840
She knows you were, like, going out,
right?
58
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,880
This isn't something where
you've been watching her through
59
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,320
the window and making dolls out of
her hair and stuff?
60
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,160
He could be the type, actually. No,
I couldn't! Stop ganging up on me!
61
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,040
She probably just wants to keep
things casual. Like, don't rush it.
62
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,400
Casual? Like, seeing other people.
63
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,640
Seeing other people? You know.
At the start of a relationship.
64
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,680
Isn't the start of a relationship
when you stop seeing other people?
65
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,840
No, that's when you're exclusive.
66
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,640
Have you talked about
going exclusive? No...
67
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,520
Shouldn't you have, like,
more life experience by now?
68
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,360
I have experience from being
in one relationship for my entire
69
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,720
adult life. I don't know how
to start new ones.
70
00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,200
He's a millennial, though, isn't he?
71
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:16,760
It's a generation gap thing,
like TikTok or Harry Potter.
72
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,600
I know what Harry Potter is.
I actually read them
73
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,600
when they came out.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
74
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,280
You probably do
those quizzes and stuff.
75
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,360
"Oh, no, I'm a Hubblepuff!"
76
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,200
THEY LAUGH
Hufflepuff.
77
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,120
And actually, I'm a Gryffindor.
Are you, though?
78
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,200
That's how you give her space, then.
Go on dates with other people.
79
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,280
But I don't like other people.
I like Fola.
80
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:38,400
It's not about liking other people.
It's about keeping it casual.
81
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:39,720
Give me your phone.
82
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,800
Zephyr, I...I'm flattered...
83
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,720
Not me, doofus. I can't begin
to tell you how gay I am.
84
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,040
Picture uploading and congrats!
85
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:56,120
You now have a dating profile.
86
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,400
Look, I'm sure this is...
87
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,400
..very kind of you,
but I'm not going to do that.
88
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,320
It might help you relax a bit.
89
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,080
It might make stuff work better
with your main girl, you know?
90
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,280
Just see how you feel
when the messages start pouring in,
91
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,680
and I'm sure they will.
PHONE VIBRATES
92
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,520
Oh! See?
93
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,520
It's just a text from Domino's,
actually.
94
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,400
It's one minute away.
95
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,360
So, have you had time
to consider our offer?
96
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,240
Yes, it's so exciting. Thank you.
97
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,160
It's huge. Mm.
98
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,080
New York, Nat Geo Traveller. Mm-hm.
99
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,880
And, um, I'm hungry for it,
you know?
100
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,360
I sensed that. It is a lot, though.
101
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,240
New York's a long way from home.
102
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,000
Er, yeah, no, it is...
103
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,600
It is a big move,
even if it is short-term.
104
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,560
But I promise I'll let you know
first thing Monday.
105
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:55,080
Oh, first thing your time,
not, like, 4am.
106
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,680
That's when I start my day.
Oh, well, great.
107
00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,040
Well, I'll speak to you then.
108
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,640
Thank you. Speak to you then.
Thank you. All right.
109
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,040
Bye-bye. Bye.
110
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:22,600
Hi, there.
111
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,760
Hi.
112
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,720
You must be Zack the lodger.
113
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,160
And you must be... Claire.
114
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,960
Claire the neighbour?
115
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,440
Whose neighbour? Monica and Eddie's.
116
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,760
Oh, right.
117
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,280
Er, no, I'm a friend.
118
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:41,280
I left my headphones here
the other day,
119
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,880
I was just coming to pick them up.
That's the worst.
120
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,160
Yeah, those little white fuckers
basically jump out of my pocket.
121
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,920
That's why I've got these big guys.
122
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,800
It's like walking around with
a ball and chain.
123
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,440
Yeah, I can see that.
They are massive.
124
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,240
I feel like they'd squash my head.
125
00:06:58,480 --> 00:06:59,760
Can I try them on?
126
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,360
Yeah, of course.
127
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,000
Um...
128
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,160
Mm. Sounds interesting.
129
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,840
Oh, it is. It's about AI.
130
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,720
Yeah, too much for me, I think.
131
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,680
The headphones, not AI.
132
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,960
Probably AI too, actually.
133
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,720
Thanks, though.
134
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:26,680
Here you are, love.
135
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,640
Oh, I see you two have met.
136
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:29,760
We have.
137
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,120
You wouldn't think he would fit in
that little box room, would you?
138
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,760
Oh, I don't know. You could be
a contortionist or something.
139
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,360
I definitely am not.
140
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,800
I should head.
141
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,920
Um, thanks for these, Monica.
142
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:46,680
And, um, nice to meet you,
Zack the lodger.
143
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,480
Nice to meet you too, Claire the...
144
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,840
Claire.
145
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,360
DOOR CLOSES
146
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,360
She's nice.
147
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:03,080
Oh, she's very nice.
She's like you, you know.
148
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,680
Like me? She... Oh, she lived here?
No, she likes to watch.
149
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,080
We met her online too.
150
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,200
Oh, wow.
151
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:14,280
I've got an idea.
Maybe you should ask her out.
152
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,880
I believe she's unattached.
153
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,600
It's so hard to find people
who share your interests.
154
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:19,640
I'm, er...
155
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,120
That's very kind of you,
but this is a temporary situation.
156
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,600
I'm going to get Fola back.
157
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,880
Aren't you off home to divide up
your stuff? Yes.
158
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,480
Yeah, I'm still working on a plan.
159
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,440
Best be quick about it, then.
160
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,240
An old flame used to show me
161
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,280
Fire don't have to burn
162
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,880
He said, "Baby, don't you worry"
163
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:58,000
Don't you worry
164
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,200
There's only more to learn
165
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,520
Every laugh,
every touch, every kiss
166
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,240
Can haunt me at times...
167
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,360
LARS: It's amazing. The supermarkets
are so different here,
168
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,640
but somehow still the same,
you know?
169
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,480
Esther!
170
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,040
Zack!
171
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,400
Just getting some boxes.
172
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,720
Cool! Oh, we just wanted
to get out the house.
173
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:34,320
Be around other people, you know.
Connect.
174
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,080
And also get crisps!
175
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,520
Yeah. Um, Zack,
this is my boyfriend, Lars.
176
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,000
Lars, this is Zack.
177
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,080
LARS GREETS HIM
178
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:47,040
Thank you... Er, I'm her neighbour.
179
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,520
Was. Yeah, I'm sorry.
180
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,680
I heard. Or I figured.
181
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,000
Have you got
a place of your own now?
182
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,880
Or, like, a hotel? Er, no...
183
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,960
Oh, sorry, I don't mean like
a sad divorce hotel,
184
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:01,080
I mean like a, like a cool hotel,
with a, with a bar or something...
185
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,720
Oh, we're not divorced yet.
186
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,280
Who knows how real this whole
Josh thing is, you know?
187
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:06,560
Right, yeah.
188
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,760
Did I mention that Lars
is my boyfriend?
189
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:11,960
You did.
190
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,880
Love of my life, really.
191
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,120
Probably.
192
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,680
Probs, yeah.
193
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:17,920
Could be, yeah.
194
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,120
Don't do that.
195
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,640
Well, that's great.
196
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,560
Um, well, we'll leave you
to your boxes.
197
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,200
Sure thing. See ya.
198
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:33,240
So it's him who liked to watch
his wife have sex with Josh?
199
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,320
Sh! Use your inside voice.
200
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,520
Don't look!
201
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,160
I had no idea.
202
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,280
I just thought you'd finally
found the stick up Zack's bum
203
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,680
and got outta there.
He doesn't have a stick up his...
204
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:51,560
I mean, I'm not judging, I'm not,
205
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,880
but I always thought there was
something up with him.
206
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,840
Well, famously, you tried to talk me
out of marrying him.
207
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,200
Well, famously, he made you boring.
208
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,160
He did not.
I'm not, I never have been boring.
209
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,720
So, what, your problem with Josh
is that you don't want to go
210
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:09,480
straight into another thing? I don't
want to discuss it with you.
211
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,360
Yeah, you do. No, I really don't.
212
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,240
OK, the thing is... There we go.
After everything,
213
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,920
I guess I want to start with
a clean slate, you know?
214
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:31,280
Take it slowly. But Josh, he was
with his previous partner
215
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,840
since school, basically.
Oh, shit, one of those?
216
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,120
So he's slipping straight
back into relationship mode
217
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,800
and I can feel myself
going along with it sometimes.
218
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,760
I was going to be throwing him
219
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,760
a surprise birthday dinner
tomorrow, but like...
220
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,840
..I'm trying to get him
to give me some space,
221
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,760
but is that sending out
a mixed signal?
222
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,920
Well, it doesn't have to be shit.
223
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,560
I didn't say it was going
to be shit.
224
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,200
Sure, but it doesn't have to be
a boring dinner party.
225
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,200
Leave it with me. I'll make it fun.
You're not invited. Well, I am now.
226
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,920
I knew I shouldn't have said
anything.
227
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,040
What sort of things does he like?
228
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,560
I mean...
229
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,520
..music. Everyone likes music.
230
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,160
He's a man in his 30s. I don't know.
231
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,400
Formula 1, Christopher Nolan,
Scandi crime dramas.
232
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,320
I'm sure you can figure it out. Hmm.
233
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:12,480
PHONE VIBRATES
234
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,720
See?
235
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,440
Oh, yeah, that's a bit much, innit?
Mm! Can I read up?
236
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,880
No, give it back.
237
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,720
PHONE VIBRATES
238
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:30,800
Huh.
239
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,720
THEY LAUGH
240
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,800
Ooh, watch out
241
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,280
You might get what you're after
242
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,600
Cool, babies
243
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,720
Strange, but not a stranger
244
00:12:55,720 --> 00:13:01,000
I'm an ordinary guy
245
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,120
Burning down the house
246
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,040
Hold tight
247
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,520
Wait till the party's over
248
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,440
Hold tight
249
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,200
We're in for nasty weather
250
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:19,040
And there has got to be a way
251
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,920
Burning down the house
252
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,960
Well, here's your ticket,
pack your bags
253
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,280
Time for jumpin' overboard
254
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,080
Transportation is here
255
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,960
Close enough, but not too far
256
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,960
Maybe you know where you are
257
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,120
Burning down the house.
258
00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:43,720
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