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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,040 This programme contains strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature 2 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:08,040 I've never cheated before. If it makes you feel better, I'm married. 3 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:10,200 What? You had sex with the woman across the road? 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,080 I didn't know she lived across the road. 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,200 Have you guys just moved in? 6 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,040 We did. I'm Zack, this is my wife Fola. 7 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,520 Esther. And this is my... Josh. I'm Josh. 8 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:19,280 Ooh, agh! 9 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,560 Fola, I know. 10 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,240 You and me didn't have sex 11 00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:25,280 for basically the entire year that we've been married. 12 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:28,120 I liked it, hearing you and him. Don't stop! 13 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,840 Josh? Are you cheating on me? 14 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,800 Esther, babe... Don't "babe" me! 15 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:32,880 Whoa! 16 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,960 I'm in love with you, and I think you might be in love with me too. 17 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,600 What are you doing? 18 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,400 What the fuck? We're over. 19 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,680 And when I'm gone, you're going to miss me so fucking much 20 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:43,720 that you'll want to die. 21 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,760 MOANING AND THUDDING WITHIN CUBICLE 22 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,200 MORE FRANTIC MOANING 23 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,120 MAN AND WOMAN CRY OUT 24 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,880 COUPLE INSIDE CUBICLE LAUGH 25 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,960 There's a lady out there. A lady? What, like a duchess? A woman. 26 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,840 Just go! Act natural. 27 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:27,800 Ah. 28 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,840 What? 29 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:50,120 MUSIC: Strut by Liz Lawrence 30 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:58,640 Gotta go out to a bar just to find it 31 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:06,640 Somewhere between the back room and the pool table... 32 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:11,000 Excuse me? Can I just get... 33 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:14,240 Excuse me? H...hello? 34 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,200 How have you not been served yet? 35 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,480 It is a lifelong curse. 36 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,240 Oi! 37 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,680 Er, can we have... What are we having? 38 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,800 Um, well, I did... I had one idea. 39 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,360 Because I worked out it's six months since we met. 40 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,680 In case you'd forgotten. Is it? 41 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:30,920 Yeah. Well, give or take. 42 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:34,120 So I thought maybe...shots? 43 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,840 Do you remember Aquavit? 44 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,480 Oh, shit. Yes, yes. Can we have two shots of Aquavit? 45 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,240 What? Aquavit. It's a Swedish spirit. 46 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:42,560 It tastes a bit like... Absolute shit. 47 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:45,240 Can we have two of those, please? I don't think we have that. 48 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:46,520 Do you want to take a look? 49 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,480 Yeah. 50 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,320 Ooh! I know, it was a bit spicy, wasn't it? 51 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,080 Spicy. 52 00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,240 Uggh! 53 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,280 BOTH COUGH 54 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,640 Fucking Aquavit. 55 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,640 Cor, it goes straight to the head, doesn't it? 56 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,840 Yeah, kicks you in the arse. Oh, God, it's sort of Christmassy. 57 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,360 Oh, yeah, like a EastEnders Christmas special. 58 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,840 Just tragedy and sadness. 59 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,800 Yeah, that is exactly right. 60 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,960 Are you gargling wine? 61 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,000 I'm just washing it around my mouth. That is weird. 62 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,600 You're weird. 63 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,000 I like it. 64 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,680 Oh, this is beautiful, isn't it? 65 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,400 Like you. Shut. Up. 66 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,680 Makes a change from the usual view, doesn't it? 67 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,480 Maybe you'll get used to it. 68 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,080 When I said I'm moving north of the river, 69 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:40,480 I didn't mean immediately north of the river. Oh. 70 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,240 I thought that's where you were going to live. 71 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,640 HE LAUGHS 72 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,720 To your big move. 73 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,840 Yeah, the start of a new chapter. 74 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,440 It's going to be a good one! 75 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,680 Also, you know, just a bus and a tube away. 76 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:59,360 Citymapper says it only takes 45 minutes. Yeah. Exactly. 77 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,040 Erm, would you excuse me for a second? 78 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,840 I've had a bunch of missed calls from Nina, 79 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,200 so I should probably just check 80 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,360 she hasn't flooded the flat or something. Yeah, course. 81 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,760 CALL RINGS OUT 82 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,360 Hi. So I am freaking out. 83 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,520 What is it now? We keep talking about how she's moving away, 84 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:26,840 and every time it comes up, 85 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,720 I feel like I'm never going to see her again. 86 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,120 She wants to move to north London, Josh. 87 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,280 It's not fucking Narnia. 88 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,880 Yes, but what if we only started 89 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,840 because we live across the street from one another? Here we go. 90 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,040 Yeah, and what if she ends up living opposite someone else? 91 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,760 Like a male model or a fireman or something? Sounds hot, actually. 92 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,320 You're fully catastrophising now, Josh. 93 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,800 You haven't been dating that long. 94 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,400 You just don't like change. 95 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,000 Oh, I'm fine with change. 96 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,480 I love... I love change! 97 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,120 Her and Zack aren't even divorced yet, right? No, but I... 98 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,040 Right, so she probably just wants to take things at her own pace. 99 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,200 Although you're one to talk. What does that mean? 100 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,880 You moved all your stuff in on date three. 101 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,000 What? Just a toothbrush! 102 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,640 And your bloody lizard. 103 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,680 I was at yours all the time, Billie Jean was missing me. 104 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,760 None of this is worth a panicky phone call, is my point. 105 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:11,800 Just play it cool 106 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:12,960 and don't do anything stupid. 107 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,040 I won't! 108 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,760 I'll try not to. Um... 109 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:21,400 So? How's everything there? Have um, Lesbian Book Club arrived? 110 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,440 Don't call it that. You called it that! 111 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,000 Yeah, well, we're allowed to. 112 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,600 It's about creating a safe space for queer women who love literature. 113 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,640 Yeah, Georgia says "We're allowed to because it's about..." 114 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:30,880 Yeah, I know, I heard. 115 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,680 And now I can't make fun of you any more, 116 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,480 so I'm going to go back to my date. OK, goodbye. 117 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,760 Oh! Oh, God, yeah, God, yeah. 118 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,520 Oh, God, yeah. Oh, God, oh, fuck, 119 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,080 yeah, fuck, yeah, fuck, yeah! 120 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,200 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 121 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,320 Wait! Are you OK? Yeah, very fucking OK, thank you. 122 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,920 My arse was just about to fall down the sink. Oh. Sorry. 123 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:02,440 Shit. Fuck. Um... Pretend to be sick. Pretend to be sick. 124 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,040 Bleuurggh! 125 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,520 Yeah, sorry, we're almost done. 126 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,800 Bleurrrgh! We've arrived at the station. 127 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,080 You have to get out. 128 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:19,320 Yeah, no, it's just, my boyfriend's being sick. Hi! 129 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:20,720 Out, please. 130 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,560 I think we got away with it. Yeah. 131 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:35,720 Thank you. 132 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:39,160 MUSIC: Charge It by ENNY 133 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,320 CALL RINGS OUT 134 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,480 Hey. How's the flash new penthouse? 135 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,800 Well, I don't know if it's flash exactly. 136 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,800 But, er, it's all good. Great. 137 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,600 Well, I'm just calling 138 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,560 to check that it's still OK for me to come round tomorrow? 139 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,880 Ah, well, I guess we have to do it at some point. 140 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,840 I guess we do. I'll, erm, bring pastries. 141 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:05,240 Um...bring boxes, we need boxes. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. 142 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,800 That sounds like our favourite lodger! Hey, guys! 143 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:28,840 Good day, Zachary? TFI Friday, am I right? I...think so, yeah. 144 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,000 Any evening plans? I've made too much kedgeree's the thing. 145 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,280 We were wondering if you'd like to join us? 146 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,960 Er...that'd be... Yeah, sure. That'd be lovely. 147 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,760 8.30? Super. 148 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,560 Oh, my God. 149 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,440 It was just... I should have done it years ago. 150 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,440 I just feel like all my cells are different now. 151 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,040 Yeah, I literally just got in. 152 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,320 Actually, um, that was the one of the reasons I was ringing. 153 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,560 I was wondering if I could crash at yours for a little bit. 154 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,280 I know you've got that little spare room... 155 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,880 Yeah, but that's why it'd be nice! 156 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,000 Because we can catch up after so long. 157 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,480 And you can meet Lars! We met in Thailand. 158 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,720 Yeah, well, yeah, he'll stay in the room with me as well, yeah. 159 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:25,760 CALL CUTS OFF 160 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,720 Hello? Oh. 161 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,440 Shit. OK, who else, who else? 162 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,040 Babe! I got you a Crunchie. 163 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,280 Aw, thanks, babe. 164 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,480 Hey. Why the frowny face? 165 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,200 I'm trying to find somewhere for us to stay. 166 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,640 I thought you had a flat, babe? Yeah, I do. 167 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,120 But, um, we can't stay there because, 168 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,080 I never told you this, but... 169 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,320 I broke up with someone before I went travelling. 170 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,360 And we were together for ages, actually, like more than ten years. 171 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,040 And he still lives in the flat, 172 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,800 and I haven't spoken to him since I left. Oh. Cool. 173 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,840 You don't mind? 174 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,240 Of course not, babe. 175 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,640 I know you had a sexual past before we met. Aww. 176 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,720 Also, I've slept under the stars many times. 177 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,240 Once, in Goa, I slept outdoors every day for nine months. 178 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,440 I find it very beautiful. 179 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,640 Yeah, no, we'll definitely stay somewhere indoors, 180 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,160 but let's get going, shall we? Yeah! 181 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,560 What's this? That's the Shard. Wow, the Shard. 182 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,920 Shard. Shard. 183 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,120 I don't know what it does, though. 184 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:40,000 Um, oh, God, this is terrible. 185 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,120 You don't remember her name! 186 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,440 You fuckboi! 187 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,720 No, I want to say Sharleen? No, she was Scottish. 188 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,560 And it was in a tent at Reading Festival. 189 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:51,520 Oh, Josh. That is so gross. 190 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:52,840 No, it was quite sweet, actually. 191 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,800 I had no idea what I was doing. 192 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,960 Well, nothing's changed on that front, then. 193 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:02,280 That is not what you were saying on the kitchen floor the other day. 194 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:04,600 I don't think that counts as saying anything. 195 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,840 I was...speaking in tongues. 196 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,160 What about you? Who was your first? 197 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:14,520 Adrian Wong. 198 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,480 Oh! The famous Adrian Wong. Shut up. 199 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,200 He was my first boyfriend. 200 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,040 It was pretty standard. 201 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,760 His parents went out for the night, 202 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:26,320 went on for 15 seconds, had a little cry on the tube afterwards. 203 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:27,800 Sounds pretty standard, yeah. 204 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,000 That's one of the benefits of having you across the road. What is? 205 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:36,440 No crying on the tube. Well, yeah, I mean, for now, anyway. 206 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,280 All on one card? Er, yes, please. 207 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:42,920 You know, I think it'll be good, though. 208 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,080 You know, not being on each other's doorsteps. 209 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,720 Not being in each other's pockets. 210 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,160 Not taking each other for granted... Move in with me! 211 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,080 Wow! A big moment. Fuck off. 212 00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,240 Sorry. 213 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,800 I'm...I'm really sorry. 214 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,400 That was so rude, it was just an impulse... He's gone. 215 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:13,160 Move in? Josh, this is meant to be the fun bit. 216 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,120 I'm having fun, aren't you? 217 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,240 I mean... 218 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:21,600 ..this is more than just fun, isn't it? 219 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,040 I... OK, OK, OK. OK, you're right. 220 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,240 Blurgh! Forget I said anything. 221 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,040 That was just a stupid impulse. Argh! 222 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,960 You're not the most impulsive person I've ever met, Josh, 223 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,400 so I don't think that that's right. 224 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:49,760 Look, um, my sister's having birthday drinks at the Legion. 225 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:53,520 I wasn't going to go, but I think I'm going to drop by now. 226 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,480 What is wrong with you? You look like you're buffering. 227 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,080 I, I assumed we were going back to yours. 228 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,400 Didn't we say... Well, lucky you have a flat of your own, then. 229 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,560 Yeah, but I think I mentioned 230 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:05,080 that Nina and Georgia are having their Lesbian Book Club there. 231 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,280 Lesbian Book Club? That's how they described it! Couldn't they just... 232 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,960 No, they're having their place done up at the minute... 233 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,120 Look, Josh! I don't know, just... Just figure it out. 234 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,720 I just, just need a bit of headspace. 235 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,160 Look, I'll call you tomorrow, yeah? 236 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,160 MUSIC: C'est Comme Ca by Paramore & Wet Leg 237 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,680 Fuck. 238 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,160 CAR HORN BLARES Sorry. 239 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,400 C'est comme ca, c'est comme ca 240 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,520 C'est comme ca, c'est comme ca 241 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,280 C'est comme ca, c'est comme ca... 242 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,880 I'm sorry, my plans changed. I'm going to go straight to my room 243 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,200 and you can ignore me... 244 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,560 Oh, my God. 245 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:14,720 C'est comme ca, c'est comme ca 246 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:18,560 C'est comme ca, c'est comme ca 247 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:21,760 C'est comme ca, c'est comme ca 248 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:25,000 C'est comme ca, c'est comme ca 249 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,960 C'est comme ca, c'est comme ca 250 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,400 C'est comme ca, c'est comme ca. 251 00:13:30,450 --> 00:13:35,000 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 19194

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