All language subtitles for Landman.S01E01.720p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta[EZTVx.to]

I need to go to the bathroom.

Tengo que ir al baño.

Listen, I got to piss, okay?

You want me to piss my fucking pants?

I'm about to piss my
fucking pants, all right?

Fuck me.

You say you own this land.

We have the rights.

No.

We own this land.

You own the surface,

which you purchased
from Daniel piersall,

and Daniel piersall's father

sold the mineral rights in 1993

to the permian basin trust,

who subcontracted
the rights to meridian oil,

which was bought by conoco Phillips,

and sold to m-Tex oil,

who only recently discovered the rights.

We don't want your oil here.

Well, wish in one hand, shit in the other,

see which one fills up first.

Maybe I slice you from
your huevos to your throat

and hang you from a bridge.

See if oil companies come then.

Well, first they'll hire
halliburton to build files

on you fucking assholes

that the FBI only dreams about having.

Then they'll send 30 tier 1 operators

from triple canopy, and they'll
bust you like a fucking piñata.

And if any of you dip shits
do make it back to Mexico,

they'll blow your fucking
house up with a drone.

With your family in it.

It costs six million to put in a new well.

They're putting in 800 right fucking here.

That's 4.8 billion in pumpjacks.

They'll put in another billion

on water and housing and trucking.

At $78 a barrel, that's 6.4 million a day.

For the next 50 fucking years.

So, yeah, the oil company's coming.

So, they send you to tell us fuck off?

They sent me to
negotiate a surface lease.

And we'll build you a
nice all-weather road

that leads to our oil
Wells and to the highway.

And a few others, if you need them.

He's gonna build us a road.

Hey, here's the deal,
and it's the only deal:

You don't fuck with our
product, we don't fuck with yours.

Because if you do, we'll
put in a DEA substation

right across the fucking street.

We got a deal?

We got a deal.

Surface lease agreement's in there.

Signature pages are marked.

Now, we'll need an address
for the surface lease payment

and the damage reimbursements.

Damage?

Yeah.

We'll pay you for the damage to the land

we built your roads on and
the pads for our pumpjacks.

You pay me?

Yeah, we pay you.

Strange business.

Same as yours.

No, I don't think so.

You sell a product

that your customers are dependent on.

Yes.

It's the same.

Ours is just bigger.

Vámonos.

Oil and gas industry makes

$3 billion dollars a day in pure profit.

Generates over $4.3 trillion
dollars a year in revenue.

It is the seventh largest
industry in the world,

ranked ahead of food production,

automobile production, coal mining,

and at 1.4 trillion, the
pharmaceutical industry

doesn't even crack the top ten.

The industries listed ahead of oil and gas

are completely dependent on oil and gas.

The more they grow, the more we grow.

That's the scale.

That's the size of this thing.

And it's only getting bigger.

This fucking job.

But before any of that money is made,

you gotta get the lease.

You gotta secure the rights
and lock up the surface.

Then babysit the
owners, babysit the crews.

Then manage the police and the press

when the babies refuse to be sat.

That's my job.

Secure the lease, then
manage the people.

First part's pretty simple.

It's the second part
that can get you killed.

What the...

Come on.

You baby Norris?

- Cooper.
- Nah.

I think baby's better.

Get in.

Three black coffees?

You got another one in there.

You want something, sugar?

I can have that effect.

Do you like black coffee,

or a little bit of milk in there?

I'll take...

Yeah, actually some
milk. Can I have a latte?

- What the fuck?!
- A what?

You just order a fucking latte? What?

- An aristocrat.
- What?

Don't normally make lattes
till the bankers wake up.

We don't have time to
wait for a fucking latte.

Why the fuck do you need a latte, bro?

- I... I just ordered...
- he's asking her to make

- the most complicated shit, man.
- We got to get to work.

- Sorry.
- "Sorry."

You want to ask for a
continental breakfast?

- I...
- what the fuck is your problem?

- Here we go.
- Here it comes.

The white kid ordered a latte!

Great job, man. First day.

That'll be 27, sweetie.

Unreal.

This is for you, darling.

Hey, if you're gonna work the patch

you got to learn how to drink it black,

'cause everything we
do is on the fucking go.

I just don't like the way it tastes.

Ain't about the taste,
son, it's about the fuel.

Six hours from now
when you need a jolt,

you can't drink that curdled milk.

Be throwing up all over my truck.

You don't want to throw up in his truck.

In fact, give me that.

Yeah, give that shit...

Your father said to make
you into a roughneck.

May as well start now.

All right, Monday, let's see what you got.

How was the night?

H.R... they stopped to
ask for gang affiliations.

So now I got this drilling
crew that's half bloods,

half crips, who decided
to have a gunfight

in the fucking man camp last night.

You can't wear straw. It ain't easter yet.

It's gonna be 95 today.

I'd say that's easter
enough, wouldn't you?

Goddamn it, Dale.

How many times am I
gonna have to tell you

to pour the beans in a fucking bowl?

You burn up a microwave a week

putting them fucking cans in there.

- Tastes different in a bowl.
- No, they don't.

They taste exactly the fucking same.

Taste different.

Well, shit, I guess cowboy culture

is out the fucking window with you two?

You see a cowboy in this
room, you point him out.

When's your hitch done?

Today. Thank god.

- Be at the courthouse by 11:00.
- Yeah.

Not 11:30, 11:00.

Yes, sir.

Hello?

What?

- What?
- How-how far?

Just send me a pin.

I'm on the way. All right.

On your way where?

You're gonna have to
depose me tomorrow.

It has to be today, Tommy.

These sons of bitches
are so far up my ass,

they're staring at the back of my tonsils.

Well, it's gonna have to be tomorrow,

'cause I think I found our plane.

You guys lost a plane?

How the fuck you lose a plane?

Prices are up with the national average,

reaching $3.86.

News of maintenance work
at both valero and tesoro

refineries scheduled for
may has sparked fears of

a summer gasoline shortage.

Yeah, ask 'em why they're
doing maintenance in may, Kate.

Opec meets next week to
discuss an increase in production.

No, they're not.

They're gonna cut production, honey.

They're gonna take oil to a hundred.

Who the hell is your
shitty source, anyway?

Although some insiders
fear a cut in production...

Well, look at the brain on Kate.

You keep listening to your insiders.

You may figure this game out.

What in the fucking hell?

Call Nate.

Is it our plane?

Yeah, it looks like it.

- Where is it?
- In about a thousand pieces

out here on the road
we built by the pyote field.

- Hey, let me call you back.
- Should I call fort worth?

Yeah, somebody should.

Quite a mess.

You ain't seen the mess yet.

Can I leave my truck here?

It's your road.

Faa says you reported this plane stolen.

Yeah, six weeks ago.

And you didn't feel like you
needed to report that to me?

Well, if you were the
fucking airplane police,

I would have, Walt, but since you're not,

I called the airplane police.

It's their job to call you, not mine.

Well, they didn't.

Well, I don't know what to tell you.

That's the federal government for you.

What's all this?

One of 75 reasons you
should have called me

the second that plane went missing.

- Cocaine?
- Maybe.

Maybe heroin.

Where's the pilot?

Cooking in the cockpit.

I got DEA and faa sending Hazmat crews

down here to pull him out.

Stay upwind of that shit.

It'll kill you quicker than a bullet.

That's a ttp truck.

Yep.

What the fuck's it doing on our road?

He's probably gonna ask you
the same thing about that plane.

Did you report it stolen to
your insurance company?

You know how this shit works.

Trucks and excavators
and all kinds of shit

go missing every day.

And then a couple months
later, they find their way back.

If I reported everything
that was stolen around here,

the whole fucking permian
basin would be a crime scene.

Goddamn it.

I got 4,200 barrels of oil

I got to move out of here every day.

Not on this road.

Not for a while.

I'm gonna need some
love on this deal, Walt.

What kind of love?

The kind that backdates a police report.

For god sakes, Tommy.

The faa was aware.

They dropped the ball.

Just use the date that I gave them,

and match it, that's all.

You know how many eyes
are gonna be on this thing?

The kind with a "g" on their license plate.

I ain't backdating nothing.

Okay, in today's report,

just note that faa was notified last month.

Can you do that?

It's the fucking truth, Walt.

I'll put it in my report.

All right, in all caps, please.

Hey, I'm gonna need
a road crew out here.

I'm gonna drop you a pin.

Need a half a mile detour
around an incident site.

Hey, Walt, can we build a road

around on that side over there,

so we can elbow around this shit?

- Over there?
- Yeah.

Over there where the dead
body and the drugs are? No.

Okay, well, how about
that side over there?

Is there any dead bodies
and dope over there?

Haven't looked over there yet.

Well, how about we
fucking go look then?

Shit.

Well, I don't see any dead
drug dealers over here.

Not any dead guys
here, not any dope... fuck.

Walt?

There's a dead son of a bitch over here.

- Yo!
- Sir?

- Come tape it off.
- Hey, I'm back.

Listen, we're gonna need
enough caliche for about a mile

to get us around this fucking mess.

So I want you to start right now
and don't stop till you're done.

Run 'em all night.

All right.

I wouldn't want to
have your job this week.

Shit, you wouldn't want to
have my job any week, Walt.

Call monty Miller.

Great.

Well, it looks like it's gonna
be Monday all day today.

Actually, it won't be
Monday once today, Tommy.

It's Friday.

It can't be Friday. I
just got here yesterday.

March first, you switched
to a Friday through Tuesday.

If you would look at me,
you would see the calendar.

If you looked at me, we'd still be married.

Well, I'm going down the
highway at 80 miles an hour.

If I looked at you, I'd probably die.

That was a pretty big truck, wasn't it?

Okay, it's Friday.

You have Ainsley.

- Ainsley?
- Yeah, it's your weekend.

You just told me my weekend
is Wednesday and Thursday.

Yours is, but the rest of the world

takes Saturday and Sunday off.

That world includes
me and your daughter.

Victor and I are going to cabo

and I can't leave Ainsley
alone in this house.

Honey, she's 17 fucking years old.

Have you seen her new boyfriend?

Goddamn it. Hold on, I'm pulling over.

Look at this kid.

I mean, she could get pregnant
from the fucking photograph.

Okay, I see your point.

Do you trust her driving to you?

To Odessa?

- Yeah.
- Are you shittin' me?

Have her go to meacham.

I'll put her on the flight
with the engineers.

Okay...

You changed your hair color.

Yeah, the redhead experiment is over.

Well, I always preferred
your natural color,

to tell you the truth.

Baby, you've never
seen my natural color.

So what time are you
and Vernon going to...

- Victor.
- Victor.

What time are y'all leaving for cabo?

Not till tonight.

Well, how come you'd
be dressed that way

at 8:00 in the morning, then?

You think this is dressed up?

Yeah, I do. And so do you.

Do you like it?

Yes, I do like it.

You see, one of life's great pleasures

is showing you what you're missing.

You don't have to
show me to know, honey.

I already know.

How's our baby?

It's his first day.

First days ain't easy.

Another Norris in the oil patch.

What a waste.

Wasn't my idea.

Apple don't fall far, does it?

Well, you're half of the tree,
in case you forgot, darlin'.

Anyway, just get her at the airport there

by 3:00, all right?

Or fuckin' hang up on me, either way.

The way I got started in this,

I was working in west Texas
as a petroleum engineer

and I decided that it was time

to have a little adventure in life.

And I answered this one
particular advertisement

to go to work for a company in Libya

as a field petroleum engineer.

My arabic friends used to laugh at me

because I would speak
arabic with a Texas accent.

And it was hard for them
to understand my arabic,

even though I was
speaking the true words.

Things were going along
pretty well until 1967.

There was the arab/israeli war.

And we could certainly
see that the arab view

of us expatriates was beginning to dim.

I will tell you what.

I am about done with
looking north of i-20.

I sunk three Wells last
week. I didn't even hit water.

It's because there ain't
any water north of i-20.

More than there is south of it.

- What county?
- Stonewall.

Shit, they been sucking
that oil for a hundred years.

Frack the ones that are going dry

and get the hell out.

Besides, what are you
gonna do with three Wells?

That's where my minerals are.

Should've bought the
basin after covid hit.

No, I don't play that big.

We were buying 100 sections
for five cents on the dollar.

That ain't big, that's smart.

There ain't no new oil to be
found in that rocky red dirt.

Shit. This ain't gonna be good.

Give me a second, boys.

Yeah, go ahead, mon.

Hey, let me get somewhere quiet.

All right, how bad?

That's a tricky one to answer.

Is it something you
and Nate can handle?

Well, they're gonna hit
you from three directions.

The insurance company,
victims' families and ttp.

All right, well, I'll handle ttp.

Who's the best litigation firm in midland?

Well, they won't file
here, they'll file in Houston.

First one to hire
Shepherd-Hastings wins.

Who do you like over there?

Clay Chandler is an assassin.
You want me to call him?

No, I'll call him, you just
keep this shit out of the news.

This is the patch, monty.

An airplane full of drugs

being run over by an
oil tanker ain't news,

that's just another Monday.

Yeah, well, it ain't Monday, Tommy.

It's Monday to me.

What's he supposed to be checking?

Tucker valve.

What the fuck is a Tucker valve?

First day on the job.

Motherfucker, I can't
have Tommy Norris's son

dying on my pad... get
him down from there.

All right, I'll do it right now.

You got to go right up at the top!

Like that?

I don't see it!

You got to go higher!

Higher!

I don't see any valve!

I remember when you did this shit to me.

Almost shit my pants.

You did shit your pants.

Higher!

Fuck.

- I don't see the valve!
- No? You don't see the Gauge?

No! No Gauge!

You know what? Never
mind, it's down here.

What the fuck.

So I can come down?

What, are you gonna
stay up there all day?

Gets your ass down here!

Shit.

Whoa!

- Shit.
- Nah

this kid is gonna fuckin' die. Hey, kid!

Take your time!

Go, go, go, go, go.

Shit.

Fuck. Fuck.

- He's stuck.
- He's gonna be fine.

Hey.

Why you so scared, man?

You got a harness on.

You're wired, all right?

Yeah.

You good?

Look at me.

Get your feet set first.

Come on.

Then one hand, then the other.

Okay. Okay.

Three points of contact.

- Three points of contact.
- Yeah, yeah, at all times.

- Okay, okay.
- Okay?

Let's head down.

- Okay.
- Ain't got all day.

Sh-shit.

You're good, man. Almost there.

You good or what? What happened?

Holy shit, bro. All right, let's go.

You dumb-ass. Come on.

Let me see that hand.

Okay, rinse it.

There's a first-aid kit in the field office.

Wrap it.

So the Gauge was down
here the whole time?

Wait a minute, were
you guys fuckin' with me?

Yes. First day, man. Gonna happen.

- Yeah.
- Hey, come on.

Go on!

Welcome to the patch.

You did good, son.

You did good.

Your day about to start or just end?

I'm in the middle of mine.

All right, which you
want? Breakfast, supper?

How come you ain't got a lunch menu?

Because there ain't no such
thing as lunch in the patch.

Truer words, Ellie.

- Dinner.
- All right.

And can you drink beer in the middle?

I don't see why not.
It's Friday for somebody.

All right, I'll bring you a pitcher.

Thanks.

Want to order a pitcher?

Already did.

If ultra's okay with you.

A michelob man?

Yeah, well, two million
team ropers can't be wrong.

We got to get paid on
this fire deal, Tommy.

You burned up 8,000 acres.

We're sitting on a $300,000 loss.

I didn't burn up anything.
The fire burned it.

Started by a faulty
switch in your pump Jack.

And spread by 50-mile-an-hour winds.

It's got "act of god" written all over it.

If it hadn't been for that wind,

that thing don't spread past 50 meters.

Listen, m-Tex has been a good partner.

That's why we didn't
join that class action.

But we suffered real damages
and we need to be reimbursed.

Boys, boys, boys. We
eatin' or just arguin'?

- Just arguing now, honey.
- All right.

Listen, if we pay for surface damages,

we're admitting fault.

- You are at fault.
- Well, so are you.

It started on your client's land.

And they got a fire crew over there.

They didn't stop it, they didn't even try.

We'll sign an nda.

'Cause that's worth
the paper it's printed on?

Listen, we will not let
you drill another well

until this is handled.

Okay, how about this:

I pay you $300,000,
but it's for a solar lease.

Our client doesn't
want solar on the ranch.

We don't sell solar panels,
we're a fucking oil company.

But I can justify payment
on solar rights or wind.

What time period you talking about?

I don't give a shit. Make it six months.

I just don't want to have
to pay you damages.

I think I can make that fly.

I don't see why you couldn't.

That's easier than selling
pussy at a men's prison.

I find that offensive, sir.

To who, the pussy or the prisoners?

I find it difficult

to do business with
people who offend me.

Well, you see, we're
not in business together.

We lease your mineral
rights, and in exchange for that,

we pay you $2 and a
half million dollars a year.

And maintain your roads
and dig your stock tanks.

So, don't delude yourself
into thinking you're a rancher.

You're an oilman who spends
the money we give you on cattle.

If it hadn't been for us,

your family would have
lost that ranch in the '50s.

So, you just say "thank you,"
take the $300,000 for the grass,

and then I keep sending you
$200,000 checks every month.

But don't you dare
pretend that I offend you.

You smile and say, "I'll take it."

Very good offer.

I recommend you take it.

I'll take it, but I ain't smiling.

I guess not.

It takes a check to
make you do that, don't it?

I can't wait for the day

when you and everyone
like you leaves this place.

You might want to think that through.

'Cause if I'm gone, that
means the oil's gone,

and if the oil's gone, that
means the money's gone,

and that means you're gone.

We'll write it up, get it to you next week.

Now are we eating?

I guess I'm eating alone now.

Baby. What can I get you?

Daddy!

- Baby.
- Hi!

You get prettier every day, little angel.

You didn't drink them out
of those little tito's bottles,

- did you?
- Daddy, of course not.

Your engineers did that.

Well, they have the practice.

I want you to meet my boyfriend.

Your mother didn't say anything
about the boyfriend coming.

'Cause you know mommy.
The less she knows the better.

She's such a helicopter parent.

- I don't know what that means.
- Just hovering

and hovering and hovering, always.

Daddy, meet Dakota.

Mr. Norris.

- Pleasure, sir.
- Yeah, good to meet you.

Dakota? What's your last name?

Loving, sir.

"Dakota loving."

You can't make that shit up.

Let's go.

So windy.

So, what would you
kids like to do tonight?

Well, do you have a
car we could borrow?

No, I don't.

What about this one?

This one's mine.

Okay.

We could watch the spring game.

Yeah, Dakota's a football fanatic.

Well, not a, not a fanatic, honey.

A phenom.

Sorry, baby. Phenom.

He's a phenom.

You know, he made ESPN's top 50.

Is that so?

Did you pick a school yet?

Alabama.

Little far from tech, isn't it?

Well, I applied to Alabama

as soon as Dakota accepted their offer.

It's just a tough school to get into.

But I, you know, I talked to coach saban,

told him how much I wanted her there.

I play better when she's watching me.

You know coach saban retired, right?

What?

- No. No.
- Did he retire?

That's rumors.

You know, maybe we
should go to this game.

- Did you talk to him?
- Yeah, yeah. He

yeah, let's go to the game.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Hike!

That son of a bitch is a celebrity.

If I don't get into Alabama,
I'm gonna die, daddy.

I swear to god, I'm gonna die.

You're not gonna die.

I'll die.

Are you two having sex?

Daddy.

- Well, I had to ask.
- Of course.

And that's what I get for asking.

Are you being careful?

We have a rule and we stick to it.

I'm gonna regret asking you this,

but what is this rule?

As long as he never comes in me,

he can come anywhere on me.

I'm gonna go get a
Dr. Pepper. You want anything?

No.

Thanks for being so cool, daddy.

I could never tell mama
these kind of things.

- Can I get a Dr. Pepper?
- Yes.

You got any bourbon back there?

Sir?

Never mind.

- Rough day?
- You could say that.

I got some pot gummies
if you want. No charge.

That's real sweet of you, honey,

but I think I'm gonna pass on that.

How much do I owe you?

That'll be four, please.

Four?

There you go. And keep that for yourself.

Appreciate it.

Hello.

He survived.

How'd he do?

Green, real green.

But don't say no, and he tries.

I mean, that's something.

Waste of a college
degree, if you ask me.

Well, nobody's asking you.
Nobody's asking me, either.

Like father like son, if
you know what I mean.

No one knows better.

I got a truckload of "father like son."

That's why I put him with you,

to keep him out of trouble.

- I'll do my best.
- All right.

I'll talk to you later.

Are you shitting me?
This pretty son of a bitch

with his giant hand
on my daughter's ass?

- What did you just say?
- What?

Are you talking about my ass?

No, I'm talking about that
guy grabbing my daughter's ass

in front of the whole world.

My gosh, that's Dakota loving.

You've got to be shitting me.

Cooper.

This is your pod.

Hey, what you got going on for supper?

I-I don't know.

You got food in there?

I'll probably just drive back to town.

Close the door.

Thank you.

Say "gracias."

Gracias.

You need to learn Spanish

'cause I'm not speaking
English all fucking day.

- Okay.
- All right?

This is "cerveza."

Yes. Cerveza. I know cerveza.

All right, all right. Parrilla.

- Parrilla.
- Yeah, and that's carne.

- Carne.
- Yeah.

And when-when you're drinking a beer,

you say, "estoy to man do una cerveza."

"Estoy t-to man do una cerveza"?

And when you're eating a taco, you say,

"estoy comiendo UN
taco lleno de verga."

- "Estoy..."
- no, no, no.

- Don't say that.
- No... Okay, okay, okay, okay.

You just say, "estoy comiendo UN taco."

- Estoy comiendo UN taco.
- Okay, you got it.

And you know, if I ask
you something in English,

just ask me how to say it in Spanish

and you'll be bilingual in a month.

- Okay.
- All right.

Get that.

Well, I mean, she just
wants to talk to you.

She's your daughter.

Hola, chiquita.

Hello.

That was my daughter.

My wife told her no about something,

and she knows that I have
no pull with the boss, so...

So, elvio, he's your son?

Hermanito.

It... he's my little brother.

Okay. So, your whole
family works the patch?

Everybody's whole
family works the patch.

Hey.

My uncle was in prison for ten years.

Really?

Dude, the o... the only way
for a felon to make six figures

is to steal it or work the patch.

I tried to steal it, and I
ended up right where he was.

You know what, though?

It's better you work for it real hard.

You know? That way,
nobody can take it away.

I can see that.

Like, elvio, he's smart,
you know? Real smart.

He skipped prison and
went straight to the patch.

Owns his home.

Got his truck paid off. Wife don't work.

I mean, how many
24-year-olds can say that?

- Not very many.
- Not very many.

Yeah, the meat's ready.

Okay, I got to go, baby.

That means, "let's go eat."

Okay, okay.

Hey, bring my beer.

Dig in, man.

How do you say that in Spanish?

Not really, but, that'll work.

Man, that's good.

Good, right?

Holy shit, that's hot.

You got a way to go, son.

That's not even the hot one, bro.

How is that not the hot one?

It's not that bad, bro.
What'd you give him?

Dos tacos de verga.

You okay, son?

- Yeah.
- Don't fucking die here.

Holy shit.

Man, drink some beer, bro. You good?

All right, I'm turning in.

- Good night, daddy.
- No, no. You're coming with me.

- What?
- That's right.

We're gonna have an
old-fashioned sleep-in,

like we used to when you were nine.

I'm not sleeping in the
same bed as my father.

You sleep in the bed.
I'll sleep on the floor.

The part of the floor that's
directly in front of the door.

Where's my room, Mr. Norris?

We put you in the junior suite,

which is this fucking couch here.

Sweet dreams. Come on, baby.

You're not preventing anything, daddy.

Just postponing it.

You're just forcing the
tension to rise even further.

You know, there is no
telling what I'll let him do to me

when he finally has me alone.

You know, every now
and then, you say things

that harken back the
other side of your gene pool.

- Are you insulting mama?
- Yeah, I am.

You don't think we're gonna last, do you?

Did that sweatshirt come with pants?

Like as a set?

I think that's just for nursing homes.

I love him.

Honey, every romantic relationship

you'll ever have will be a failure,

except the last one.

Do you think this is the last relationship

you're ever gonna have?

I want it to be.

Well, hell, we want all of them to be.

Do you think it will be?

He can have anyone.

- Well, shit, you can, too.
- Daddy.

By your logic, I should
just break up with him now

and spare myself the suffering

and just wait for the last one.

It don't work that way.

You got to love your
way through the failures.

You never know if you're
in the last one till you're in it.

Did you think mama was the last one?

Shit, no.

Hell, honey, I was shocked
your mom and I lasted six weeks.

Well, why did it last so long?

Same as you.

I mean, as wrong as
we were for each other,

I-I loved her.

Couldn't keep my damn hands off of her.

Shit, I still love her.

If she lost the power of speech,
I'd marry her again tomorrow.

I've never slept with him.

We've had sex just about
everywhere you can do it.

Honey... I've never slept with him.

Like, I've...

Like, I've never fallen
asleep in his arms or...

Like, woken up in them.

Daddy, if I promise not to have sex,

can I just sleep with him on the couch?

Please?

Just sleep?

You promise?

I do.

That couch is a rental.

Okay. Got it.

Lord, where'd my nuts go?

How'd you pull this off?

- I made a promise.
- Yeah? What's the promise.

Well, I can sleep with
you, but we can't have sex.

Can you make that promise?

I'd rather not.

Well, I know baby, but can you make it?

Can we, can we dry hump?

You can hold me.

Okay, well, let's talk about this.

I mean, you promised no sex.

Well, that... That leaves out a lot.

Yeah?

What happened?

Guess he's not the last one.

He don't know what he's missing.

Come on, babe.

Come on, babe, lay down.

Come here, honey. Come here.

How come you're always right?

'Cause I spent all my life being wrong.

I never forgot the lessons.

Thank you.

Honey.

Fuck Alabama.

Yeah. Fuck 'em.

Hey, the 18's too small. Go to 24.

Cooper, go get the 24-inch pipe wrench.

Which one is that?

The one that says "24."

Go!

The one the size of
your arm. You'll see it.

You got it?

- I'm looking.
- Hurry up!

- He's bringing the 24.
- I got this.

- What is he doing?
- Okay, here we go.

I got it.

He's bringing the 24.

Okay, that's what it should've been.

Yeah. Here we come.

Whoa!