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1
00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:06,774
CHRIS ROCK:
As graduation got closer,
2
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,809
I thought about
my days at Corleone.
3
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,044
It had been tough,
4
00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:13,214
but the one good thing
was that Greg was always there.
5
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,517
We got beaten up together.
6
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,252
Hey, Zephyr.
7
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:22,656
And, of course, we hung out
after school together.
8
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:23,791
(knocking)
9
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:25,326
Do you think it's safe
to go out yet?
10
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:28,262
No, we'd better give it
another hour.
11
00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:30,531
And now we'd be going
to high school together.
12
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,300
Dude, I've got some bad news.
13
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,068
I'm not going
to high school with you.
14
00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:35,336
What?!
15
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,437
My mother submitted me
for a scholarship
16
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,772
to the Bronx Academy of Science
without telling me.
17
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:40,508
Better than the time
she submitted him
18
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,443
for adoption
without telling him.
19
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:43,377
You're kidding.
20
00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:44,578
Did you get accepted?
21
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:46,614
Dude, I am so in there.
22
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,149
Sorry.
23
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:49,383
Well, congratulations.
24
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,418
Thanks, man.
25
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:51,785
That was sarcasm, dummy.
26
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,421
So your mother submitted
you for a scholarship
27
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,289
without telling you?
28
00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:56,324
Yeah, her and Ms. Morello.
29
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,459
She was afraid that
if I didn't get accepted,
30
00:00:58,492 --> 00:00:59,393
I'd be disappointed.
31
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,462
When I was seven,
I lost a spelling bee
32
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:02,696
and went into
a black depression.
33
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,299
That happened to me
when I saw Soul Plane.
34
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:07,301
To this day, I can't say
"pulchritudinous"
35
00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:08,769
without crying.
36
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,504
So where are you going
to high school?
37
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,640
Well, I want to go
to Foxy Brown High.
38
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:14,742
The principal looks
like Pam Grier.
39
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,777
But my mom wants me
to go to Tattaglia.
40
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,447
I just don't think I can go
through four more years
41
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,581
of being
the only Black kid.
42
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,217
I wasn't sure what
Tattaglia would be like,
43
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,586
but judging from the name,
I had an idea.
44
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,357
Don't worry, man.
45
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:32,293
If you can make it through this,
you can make it through that.
46
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:35,463
He must have me confused
with Nelson Mandela.
47
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,506
* Ah, make it funky now.
48
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:55,583
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
49
00:01:55,583 --> 00:02:08,462
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT TELEVISION
50
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:09,730
CHRIS ROCK:
Even though I knew
51
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,732
I'd probably meet more people
after I graduated,
52
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,534
the fact was,
Greg was my closest friend,
53
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,736
and replacing him
wasn't going to be easy.
54
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:19,273
Dude, you are so in there.
55
00:02:19,307 --> 00:02:20,608
Next.
56
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:26,180
Dude, we are so in there.
57
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:27,648
Next.
58
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,217
Oy.
59
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,385
Dude, you are so in there,
60
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:33,387
though I would prefer
not ending a sentence
61
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:35,189
with a prepositional phrase.
62
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:37,225
I would prefer never seeing
your face again.
63
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:38,359
Next.
64
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,793
Next...
65
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:42,563
Next!
66
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,865
Dude... you are...
67
00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,200
Next!
68
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:48,502
That's cold, man.
69
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:50,338
I'm supposed to be your boy.
70
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:51,672
What happened to you?
71
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:53,741
I'm practicing
eating by myself again.
72
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,543
Good practice
for my "dating years."
73
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,811
You act like we're never going
to see each other again.
74
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,547
This isn't easy for me, either.
75
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,382
Well, at least your whole
school's not gonna hate you.
76
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:02,883
People have to notice you
to hate you.
77
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:03,917
I'm gonna be invisible.
78
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,719
I'd pay money to be invisible.
79
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:06,854
I mean, look at me.
80
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:09,357
I got one friend,
and he's white.
81
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:10,658
Look at me.
82
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,526
I got one friend,
and he's Black.
83
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,627
You got a point.
84
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:15,463
You know, we can't
let this happen.
85
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:16,664
Starsky and Hutch
didn't break up.
86
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,465
They were both white.
87
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:18,732
Butch and Sundance
didn't break up.
88
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,568
White again.
89
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,303
Crocket and Tubbs
didn't break up.
90
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,637
Tubbs thought he was white.
91
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,673
What am I supposed to do,
come to school with you?
92
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,575
Yeah.
How am I supposed
to do that?
93
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,643
I don't know, I guess we're
just gonna have to find out.
94
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,579
If that's what
you want to do.
95
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:34,815
Let's do it.
96
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,652
Are you crazy?
97
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,654
Do you see the tuition
at this school?
98
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:41,622
That was all he saw.
99
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,657
This is a good school.
100
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,759
JULIUS:
This is an
expensive school.
101
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,661
He's going to end up
a homeless genius.
102
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:49,630
I think Chris can benefit
from being around
103
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,932
kids like this that
go to a school like this.
104
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,302
She means white kids.
105
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,703
Greg is going, too.
106
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:58,572
Baby, you know he had
a hard time at Corleone.
107
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:01,041
It was your idea
to send me there.
108
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,944
And at least he doesn't have
to make all new friends.
109
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,714
No, I'll have a massive
"one friend" head start.
110
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,682
Chris, you can make new friends
at a public school.
111
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:10,050
You've got the whole
public to choose from.
112
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,885
ROCHELLE:
Look at all these great
113
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:13,987
She means white teachers.
114
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,624
If we send Chris
to that school,
115
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,459
what'll happen when Drew
and Tonya graduate?
116
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,060
Oh, baby...
117
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,596
Can't we just worry
about that then?
118
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,298
Can we just
think about it?
119
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:25,466
I thought about it.
120
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,767
And I'm smart enough to know
121
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,936
we are too poor for
Chris to be that smart.
122
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:31,539
Now I'm rich enough
to be stupid.
123
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:32,706
Sorry, man.
124
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,041
But, Julius...
125
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,446
While my plans
went into the garbage,
126
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:40,581
Uncle Ryan threw out
a proposal.
127
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,416
Hey, just the man
I'm looking for.
128
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:45,052
Translation:
"I need some money."
129
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,821
Hey, man,
what you got going this time?
130
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,790
Uncle Ryan
is selling mixtapes.
131
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,625
Mixtapes?
132
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:54,928
What, like masking tape
and duct tape on the same roll.
133
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:56,096
That's a good idea.
134
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,965
Nah, man, mixed tapes.
135
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,833
Mixtapes.
136
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,736
A mixtape is a compilation
of tracks
137
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,572
that have been recorded
on a cassette tape.
138
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,708
These tapes, once compiled, can
be sold on any major city street
139
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,610
out of the trunk
of a Black man's cars,
140
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,613
typically a Buick or a Lincoln.
141
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:13,814
Since the cost of the tapes
is so low,
142
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:16,617
and the music is free, selling
mixtapes was and is still,
143
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,753
a profitable,
although illegal, business.
144
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,121
Hey, Dad,
145
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,656
Uncle Ryan said
I could work for him, too.
146
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,592
And you know you
said you can't wait
147
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,726
for Drew to get his first job.
148
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,628
That's not a real job.
149
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,663
A real job takes place
in a building.
150
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,732
They shouldn't be able
to tow your office.
151
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:32,766
Unless you sell ice cream.
152
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,635
I'm only selling out the
back of my car for now.
153
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,637
I'm going to move to
something more permanent.
154
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,805
Like a van.
155
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,072
What happened to your
auto parts store?
156
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,442
The owner broke it up for parts.
157
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:42,743
Man, I love this song.
158
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,945
Everybody's going
to be buying this one.
159
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:46,814
I made you a profit before.
160
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,749
Trust me,
I'm going to do it again.
161
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,018
How much you need?
162
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,686
A hundred.
163
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,021
Hi, Daddy.
Hi, Uncle Ryan.
164
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,623
Hey, what's going on?
165
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,658
I'm selling tickets
to my ballet recital.
166
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,393
I'm doing something
from Swan Lake.
167
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:00,894
Uh-oh. A ballerina.
168
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,596
How much are they?
169
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:03,497
Five dollars.
170
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:04,865
Hey, man, loan me ten bucks.
171
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,099
I just gave you a hundred.
172
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,802
That's my seed money.
173
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:09,937
It's for your daughter.
174
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:14,542
Before ATM machines, my father
was the human version.
175
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:15,976
You just had to know the code.
176
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:21,549
This is so exciting
that you're all graduating.
Thanks, Ms. Morello.
177
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:24,852
I'm very proud of everyone.
178
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:28,789
Gregory, you've got such
a bright future ahead of you.
179
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,724
And, Chris,
in your family,
180
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:33,827
this must be like
getting a PhD.
181
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,129
Have you thought about
what high school
182
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:37,498
you're going to yet?
183
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:40,000
Oh, well, I want to go
to the Bronx Academy
of Science with Greg.
184
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:43,771
Now, Chris, you've graduated
from junior high,
185
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,173
but let's not get uppity.
186
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,642
I felt too low to get uppity.
187
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,812
The Bronx Academy
is for the exemplary students.
188
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:54,848
Maybe you should think about
something more realistic.
189
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,884
She means a school
with metal detectors.
190
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:57,985
You helped me get in.
191
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,520
Can't you help him?
192
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:02,890
Chris, let's not forget
you flunked math last year.
193
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,725
Yeah, but I passed
everything this year.
194
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,894
Oh, that's right.
195
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:09,930
Maybe I can have you apply
under the minority curve.
196
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,532
What's that?
J.Lo's butt.
197
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,133
It's an affirmative action plan.
198
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,603
The plan being
"If we let one in,
199
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,737
maybe they'll leave us alone."
200
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,506
Well, what do
I have to do?
201
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:19,840
Well, first you
have to be Black.
202
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:20,841
Check.
203
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,644
And then you have to take
the admittance exam.
204
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,746
And if you pass, they'll
pay for you to go.
205
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,581
It's a full scholarship.
206
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:28,849
I'll do whatever it takes.
207
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,884
All right then,
I'll help you out.
208
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,553
This is great.
Thanks.
209
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,556
Now give me some skin.
210
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,893
I've always wanted to do that.
211
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,863
Run before she makes you
tap dance.
212
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,932
While I was getting
a vote of confidence,
213
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,600
my mother was demanding
a recount.
214
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:49,036
What do you mean you gave
Ryan a hundred dollars?
215
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,638
What are you getting
all upset about?
216
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:52,573
He'll pay it back,
and then some.
217
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,908
That is not
what I'm talking about.
218
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:56,677
Your son asked you to send him
219
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,712
to one of the best schools
in the city,
220
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,914
and all you could do was say,
"Oh, I can't afford it."
221
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:02,816
But then your brother
comes waltzing in here
222
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:03,917
talking about
he's selling mixtape
223
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,185
out of the trunk of his car,
224
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,821
and all of a sudden
you become Daddy Warbucks?
225
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:08,989
Daddy Warbucks?
226
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,057
Daddy Warbucks?
227
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,125
He's the rich guy
from Little Orphan Annie.
228
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:12,893
Oh.
Oh.
229
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,562
So?
230
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,262
What?
231
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,830
Explain yourself.
232
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,031
Rochelle, look,
233
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:19,567
I want Chris
to go to the school,
234
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,101
but that's me spending money
I don't have.
235
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,803
Mixtapes are an investment.
236
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,037
Unlike education.
237
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:26,139
Besides, I want to help
my brother out.
238
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,576
You never help my brother out.
239
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:29,910
Are you kidding me?
240
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,178
Since we've been married,
241
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:34,081
he's eaten $12,038.12 worth
of groceries.
242
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,750
I'm helping him stay alive.
243
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,052
Amazingly, my mother didn't
have a comeback for that one.
244
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,555
(Julius yelps, glass shatters)
245
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:42,723
I stand corrected.
246
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,925
Meanwhile, I trained
for the Bronx Academy
247
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,795
like the Karate Kid trained
for that evil blond kid.
248
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,229
"How are you?"
249
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,230
Fine. And you?
250
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,732
"Very good."
251
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:52,600
Glad to hear it.
252
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,901
"See you tomorrow."
253
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,002
You betcha.
254
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:55,936
What?
255
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,639
Oh, sorry,
I was working with Ping earlier.
256
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,041
The belief that the United
States was destined to expand
257
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,843
from the Atlantic Seaboard
to the Pacific Ocean
258
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,244
was called
"Manifest Destiny"?
259
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,013
Should've been called,
"Hey, Indians,
260
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,948
ready or not, here we come."
261
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:22,663
Chris.
262
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,997
Yes?
263
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:24,965
You passed.
264
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,700
Oh, man, this is great.
265
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,301
You made it
to the Bronx Academy.
266
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,003
Well, hold on a minute.
267
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:30,804
Hold on a minute?
268
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,105
What do you mean
hold on a minute?
269
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:33,240
I passed, didn't I?
270
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:36,276
Yes, but that only qualifies you
for the home interview.
271
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,011
And assuming your mother
is sober for that,
272
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,847
and it goes off okay,
273
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,282
then you'll be eligible
for the financial review.
274
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,017
What next, a drug test?
275
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,086
Then, of course,
there's the drug test.
276
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:49,657
I hope Marion Jones doesn't
want to go to this school.
277
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,062
While I was trying
to get into school,
278
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,030
Tonya was trying
to stay on point.
279
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,633
Hey, baby, how are your
ticket sales going?
280
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:02,069
Eh... I sold them all.
281
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,837
What's wrong?
282
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:05,072
Well, I just found out
283
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,807
that I'm not going to be
in the recital anymore.
284
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,677
Oh, no, what happened?
285
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,045
The teacher said
you're one of her best dancers.
286
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:14,915
You know my partner,
Derrick, right?
Yeah.
287
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,417
Well, he had a ballet accident,
and he broke his ankle.
288
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,819
Well, what happened?
289
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,253
Well, he told some guys
that he did ballet,
290
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,421
and they broke his ankle.
291
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,256
(groans softly)
292
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,326
Oh, baby, I know you had
your heart set on this.
293
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,729
You mean you had
your heart set on it.
294
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,197
It's okay.
295
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,264
No, no, it's not.
296
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,066
You know what, baby,
don't worry.
297
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,835
We're going to find you
another boy to dance with.
298
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:35,969
Ma, in Bed-Stuy?
299
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,270
That's what I was going to say.
300
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:40,173
Come on, let's make
some phone calls.
301
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:42,209
Come on.
302
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,945
While my mother searched
Brooklyn for a Baryshnikov,
303
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,380
my Uncle Ryan found
his inner Russell Simmons.
304
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,717
Two, two fifty,
305
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:52,152
three, three fifty,
306
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,420
400 dollars.
307
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,689
Ooh... I cannot
believe this.
308
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,190
$400 selling tapes.
309
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,026
Man, I gotta tell you,
310
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,127
I didn't think
it was going to work.
311
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,094
Have I ever lied to you?
312
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:03,063
No, I guess you haven't.
313
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,265
But lying and not knowing what
the hell you're talking about
314
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,100
are two different things.
315
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,269
Drew, take this money
and put it away.
316
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,739
Don't worry, I will.
317
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:12,906
Here, take this tapes
as a bonus, too.
318
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:13,974
It's the Hilly Hill mix.
319
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,408
Those guys are new,
they're not really selling.
320
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,110
"MC Hammer"?
321
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,211
"Public Enemy"?
322
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,480
"DJ Jazzy Jeff &
the Fresh Prince"?
323
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,015
I've never heard of these guys.
324
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,250
You will.
325
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,852
You'd be better off erasing
the tape and selling it blank.
326
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:27,387
Well, can I have
the new Fat Boys album?
327
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,389
Go into Wal-Mart
and ask that question now.
328
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,024
Fine.
329
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,325
Cool.
330
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,493
"Beastie Boys"?
331
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,862
They're white.
332
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,029
White rappers?
333
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,197
(laughs):
I don't think so.
334
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,832
Look, I gotta go.
335
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,167
I got to get some rest
before I go to work.
336
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,135
Hey, I'm sorry, man,
I didn't mean to cause
337
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:43,203
any problems
with Rochelle.
338
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,238
That's okay-- problem solved.
339
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,807
There aren't many
marriage problems
340
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,809
Benjamin Franklin can't fix.
341
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,377
This is pretty much a formality.
342
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,079
I have a few questions.
343
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,080
Oh, no problem.
344
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,782
We have nothing to hide.
345
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:58,085
How long have you been addicted
to heroin?
346
00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,152
I'm sorry?
347
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,353
Well, I understand
348
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,755
you've struggled with drugs
349
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,390
and alcohol
most of your adult life.
350
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,993
He must have her confused
with Lindsay Lohan.
351
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,828
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
352
00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,930
You must have me mistaken
for somebody else.
353
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:11,198
That's ridiculous.
354
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,767
I can see it's a sore subject.
Let me move on.
355
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:15,969
You have three
children, right?
356
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,270
Yes.
357
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:18,772
Can I have
their fathers' names?
358
00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:20,240
Ju...? Their fathers?
359
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:22,409
No, no, no.
They have one father.
360
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,977
Mm.
361
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,112
Do you know his name?
362
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,280
Where are you getting
this information?
363
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,316
I'll tell you
where he's getting it.
364
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:32,185
Unfortunately,
I think Chris is a crack baby.
365
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:34,855
The mother's
a little delusional.
366
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,223
Her brain is addled by years
367
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,126
of drug abuse and cheap wine
spo-dee-o-dee.
368
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,294
She's actually convinced herself
369
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:44,197
that she has a husband
who works two jobs
370
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:47,200
and that they own a house
in the ghetto.
371
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:49,402
You can't believe a word
she says.
372
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:54,441
Julius--
he's my husband
373
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:57,010
and is the father
of my three children.
374
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:59,980
He has two jobs,
and we own this house.
375
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,148
Are you writing this down?
376
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:05,252
Young man, let me ask you
a question.
377
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,856
Why do you want
to go to the Bronx
Academy of Science?
378
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:10,557
Because that's
where my friend's going.
379
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,325
'Cause I love science?
380
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:14,561
Why do you love science?
381
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:16,864
Because it's in the name
of your school.
382
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,531
'Cause I like
to cut frogs open?
383
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,935
Klingons?
384
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,436
(laughs)
385
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,205
Mr. Perkins...
386
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,573
If you don't let me in,
387
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,009
she'll smack the scholastic
out of you.
388
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:31,011
Chris has the desire
to learn.
389
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:35,315
He has a strong family
who loves and supports him
390
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:38,285
in a warm
and stable environment.
391
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,220
(loud thudding)
MAN:
Freeze!
392
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,155
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
It was just tapes!
393
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:43,323
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
It was just tapes.
394
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,859
ROCHELLE:
What is the...?
395
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,194
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
They have a hostage!
396
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,196
Let me see your hands!
Drop the pamphlet...
397
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:49,997
Hostage? I'm not dropping no...
398
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,164
...and step away
from the white guy.
399
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,466
ROCHELLE:
Get your hands off of me!
I didn't do nothing.
400
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,136
All right, everybody, down
on the floor, down on the floor.
401
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,139
You need to settle down
and drop the pamphlet.
Get your hands off of me...!
402
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,541
ROCHELLE:
I said, get your hands
off of me now!
403
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,276
I apologize,
but it's protocol.
404
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:06,246
How often does this kind
of thing happen here?
405
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,281
Surprisingly,
not that often.
406
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,187
When you're Black,
first the cops charge,
407
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:15,522
then they explain the charge.
408
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,057
What's the charges?
Copyright
infringement.
409
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,358
Infringement? What
are you taking about?
410
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,093
I was just making tapes
of people's songs.
411
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:21,428
Just get in the car.
412
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:24,431
Once again, I
apologize on behalf of
413
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,967
the New York Police
Department for any
inconvenience.
414
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,368
Oh, that's okay.
415
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,103
I wasn't talking to you.
416
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,339
(sighs)
417
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:35,308
Mr. Perkins, I'm sorry
about all this.
418
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,144
Son, you had
terrific test scores
419
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,211
and glowing
recommendations,
420
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,981
but with this unbelievably
horrible environment,
421
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,150
you need us more than
I thought you did.
422
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,384
Congratulations.
423
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,386
That's right.
Just get your butt out of here.
424
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:47,454
Mom! Mom! Mom!
Mom! Mom! Mom!
425
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,556
We don't need you
or your stupid racist school.
426
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,258
Mom, no. No.
Mom, I'm in.
You know what? This...
427
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,427
What are you talking
about you're in?
428
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,129
Just fill out
these application forms
429
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:58,165
and attach a copy
of your financial records.
430
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,233
Once that clears,
Chris will be the newest student
431
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,434
at the Bronx Academy
432
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:02,936
of Science.
433
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,372
(screams)
My baby made
it into school!
434
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,240
(applause, cheering
and whistling)
435
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,009
Now if you'll
excuse me,
436
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,277
I'm going to go get drunk.
437
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,479
You know what would
be a good idea?
438
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,148
A show about cops
arresting people.
439
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:17,450
But what would you call it?
440
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,252
My future was set,
441
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,588
but Tonya's ballet career
was over before it started.
442
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,424
Hey, Tonya, can I talk
to you for a minute?
443
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,625
No.
444
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,361
Look, I know you're all sad
445
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:31,331
about Derrick and his ankle,
but I think I can help you.
446
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,166
Can you fix his ankle?
447
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,334
Actually, he could.
448
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,602
Actually, I could.
449
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,972
But a compound fracture
has to set
450
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:40,507
somewhere between five
and seven weeks,
451
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,475
and he still wouldn't be ready
in time for the dance.
452
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,677
So how can you help me?
453
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,214
I could fill in
for him.
For real?
454
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:48,348
Yeah. I mean,
I'm a pretty good dancer.
455
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:49,682
If you show me what to do.
456
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,684
You're not afraid someone
will call you a sissy?
457
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,120
No. I don't care.
458
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:55,522
Besides, I bet
they won't say it to my face.
459
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:58,025
Like making fun
of Mike Tyson's voice.
460
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,292
Thanks, Drew.
461
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,328
Okay. Come on.
Come over here.
462
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:04,564
Okay, so, you do your
feet like this, do
your arm like this.
463
00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:05,598
Graduating from Corleone
464
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,301
was one of the best days
of my life,
465
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:09,636
because I was surrounded
by my family,
466
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:13,006
and this was the one day
I wasn't going to get punched,
467
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,307
kicked, beat down
or talked about.
468
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,209
Straighten out your
cap and gown, boy.
469
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,478
And do not get on that
stage and embarrass me
470
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,180
in front of these
white people,
471
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,415
or else I'll slap the pomp
out of your circumstances.
472
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:23,750
Scratch that.
Hi, Daddy.
473
00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,552
Hey, baby.
CHRIS:
Where were you?
474
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,354
Bailing Uncle Ryan
out of jail.
475
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,089
Well, where did you get
the bail money?
476
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,091
My mixtape money.
477
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,525
Would have gotten it back
478
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,494
if Uncle Ryan
hadn't skipped bail.
479
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,329
Hey, sorry, man,
but check it out.
480
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:39,399
I was talking to this
guy down at the station.
481
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,068
Did you know George
Foreman cooks?
482
00:16:41,101 --> 00:16:42,235
The boxer?
Yeah.
483
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,503
He's coming out
with this grill.
484
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,239
I hear it's going to
make a lot of money.
485
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,407
A George Foreman grill?
486
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,408
No, that's all right, man.
487
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,710
I'm gonna wait on
the Muhammad Ali toaster oven.
488
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,479
Come on, honey.
Let's go in.
489
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,446
You look
nice, sweetie.
490
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,614
Congratulations, man.
491
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,449
* Looks like we made it...
492
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:57,617
Hey, man.
Hey.
493
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,286
We made it.
494
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:01,554
I guess so. Let's get in there
so we can get out of here.
495
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,490
Next stop,
the Bronx Academy.
496
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,092
Dude, I am so in there.
497
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,527
Hey, Spridel,
Chim Chim, let's go.
498
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,397
* Looks like we made it...
499
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,465
My days at Corleone had sailed,
500
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:16,236
and Drew and Tonya
were floating on air.
501
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,538
(classical music playing)
502
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:24,411
(loud munching)
503
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:40,393
(applause)
504
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:47,134
Those are
my babies.
505
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,735
Aren't they
fabulous?!
506
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:52,739
Drew got more women in a tutu
then I got at 22.
507
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:56,676
(Caruso sighs)
508
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,111
So long, Greg.
509
00:17:58,145 --> 00:17:59,512
So long, Chris.
510
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,214
What? No final insult?
511
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:04,417
You got to go through the rest
of your life being Black.
512
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,852
I can't top that.
513
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,855
We won't ever have to
deal with him again.
514
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:11,424
At the Bronx Academy of
Science, everyone's a nerd.
515
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,826
Thank god we're not going
to Tattaglia.
516
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:16,129
(crowd chatter)
517
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,871
Chris, wait.
518
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,409
What's wrong?
519
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,211
Chris, I've got bad news.
520
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,078
What?
521
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,747
Well, I just heard
from Mr. Perkins.
522
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:38,518
Unfortunately, your application
to the Bronx Academy was denied.
523
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,853
What?!
I thought this was settled.
What happened?
524
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,622
Well, as crazy as it may seem,
525
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:45,325
it turns out your father
really does have two jobs.
526
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,659
You're mother's not
a heroin addict.
527
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:47,894
She's even got a job.
528
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,696
And apparently,
you do own that house.
529
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,564
Your family's doing
far too well
530
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,167
for you to qualify
for financial aid.
531
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:56,469
Chris, why did you lie?
532
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,639
So what does
this mean?
533
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,474
I'm sorry, but it looks like
534
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,243
you're going to Tattaglia
after all.
535
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,511
But this isn't fair.
536
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,580
I know, but always
remember this.
537
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,217
When you get to the other side
of the river,
538
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,619
the streets of heaven
will be lined with gold
539
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,355
for you, me
and all God's chillins.
540
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:16,889
I was still in shock,
541
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,192
so I didn't have the presence
of mind
542
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:22,229
to smack her upside the head
and run.
543
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,833
Oh, man.
544
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,269
I know.
545
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:32,272
* Hey, if we can't solve
any problems *
546
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,740
So, what now?
547
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:34,974
This is it.
548
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,410
* Why do lose so many tears?
549
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:38,511
Oh, man.
550
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:42,482
I know.
551
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,883
* Oh, so you go again
552
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,785
But, you know,
553
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,620
we're gonna hang out
during the summer.
554
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,656
* When the leading man appears
555
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,723
Yeah.
556
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,592
Yeah.
Yeah.
557
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:53,826
Yeah, totally.
558
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:58,565
* Always the same theme
559
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,667
* But can't you see
560
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:05,305
* We've got everything
going on and on and on *
561
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,240
Hey, Greg?
* Every time you go away
562
00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:08,408
Yeah?
563
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,310
Catch you later.
564
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:14,714
* You take a piece of me...
565
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:15,882
(thudding)
566
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,284
Sorry.
567
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:18,885
I couldn't let it go.
568
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:22,355
* Everybody hates Chris.
569
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:26,393
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