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1
00:00:00,967 --> 00:00:03,970
(eerie tense music)
2
00:00:42,642 --> 00:00:45,512
(static crackling)
3
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:59,325
(eerie tense music)
4
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,194
- From all evil,
5
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,362
deliver us, oh lord.
6
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:12,632
From all sin,
7
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,434
from your wrath,
8
00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:17,137
from sudden and
unprovided death.
9
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,539
From the snares of the devil.
10
00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:24,644
By your birth, your baptism,
11
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:25,778
and holy fasting.
12
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:29,816
By your cross and your passion.
13
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:33,186
By your death and burial.
14
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:36,389
By the coming of
the holy spirit.
15
00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:38,591
The advocate.
16
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,427
On the day of judgment.
17
00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:45,331
We, we sinners,
18
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,133
we beg you to forgive us.
19
00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:48,401
(bones cracking)
20
00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:51,037
Our father who are in heaven,
21
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:54,207
hallow by thy name,
22
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,209
thy kingdom come,
23
00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:59,212
thy will be done on
Earth as it in heaven.
24
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:01,714
(ethereal roaring)
25
00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:06,719
(tense music)
(air whooshing)
26
00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:11,457
Give us this day,
our daily bread.
27
00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:13,126
And forgive us our trespasses.
28
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:17,297
Just as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
29
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:21,134
(chains rattling)
30
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:25,238
(alarm blaring)
31
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:42,488
- First rule.
32
00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:44,490
- Don't drop the cross.
33
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:47,093
- I don't care if there's
a category five hurricane.
34
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,027
Don't let go.
35
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:50,830
90 seconds.
36
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,665
That's how long it took
for her to break free
37
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:54,300
and knock your
ass to the ground.
38
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:56,169
Straighten up.
39
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,271
Fall in.
40
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:17,190
Now here we are, three
weeks into our training,
41
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:20,260
and not one of you
has been successful
42
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,828
at cleansing Angela here.
43
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:27,000
Her parents have entrusted us
44
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,335
with the task of
getting her clean
45
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:32,171
and the only way
to get her clean
46
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:33,940
is to stay focused!
47
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,509
Comprende?
48
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:39,846
(man stifling laughter)
49
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:43,583
Is something funny, pencil dick?
50
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:44,450
- No, ma'am.
51
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,685
- That's sir.
52
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:47,553
- Sir.
53
00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:53,192
- Trainee, are you chewing gum?
54
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:56,496
- No.
55
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:02,001
- Let me remind all of
you of why we are here.
56
00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,704
You are private citizens
57
00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:07,140
being ordained,
specifically for one reason
58
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,708
and one reason only.
59
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,445
To become professional
exorcists.
60
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,815
It's my duty to make sure
61
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:19,319
that you don't embarrass
the pope, the Vatican,
62
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,754
and to be perfectly frank, me.
63
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:26,759
Beth.
64
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:27,927
- Yes, sir?
65
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,562
- How long have you been clean?
66
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:31,164
- Six months.
67
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,665
- Six months.
68
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,200
- Six months demon free, sir.
69
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:36,969
- Do you hear that?
70
00:05:36,969 --> 00:05:40,206
Demon free for six months.
71
00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:43,676
Beth over here is the
reason we do what we do.
72
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:51,017
Now trainees, I know
you've seen the news.
73
00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:55,688
There's been a rise in
possessions across the country.
74
00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,960
At this point, we can call
it a full on outbreak.
75
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:04,130
The Vatican needs as
many of you yahoos
76
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:05,965
ready to hit the streets.
77
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:12,705
Now I get it.
78
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,608
We all have families.
79
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:21,214
At this point, we probably
all know someone affected.
80
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:23,983
Someone like Angela over here.
81
00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:28,087
Innocent, held hostage.
82
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,391
But don't forget.
83
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,527
That person over
there is not Angela.
84
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:36,896
While they may seem human,
85
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:40,533
they will lie to you,
know things about you,
86
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,735
that you've never told anyone.
87
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,537
Expose your fears
88
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:47,907
all to get in your head.
89
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,411
I cannot stress the importance
90
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,579
of what we're doing here.
91
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,181
What it means to the world.
92
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:57,617
You're the future.
93
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:03,990
(Angela roaring)
(ethereal whooshing)
94
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:06,793
- All mighty God, we beg
you to keep the evil spirit
95
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:09,595
from further molesting
this servant of yours
96
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,731
and to keep it far
away, never to return.
97
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,000
At your command, oh lord,
98
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,501
may the goodness and
peace of our lord,
99
00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,737
Jesus Christ, our savoir,
100
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,439
take possession of this woman.
101
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,040
May we no longer fear
102
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,310
any...
(Angela roaring)
103
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:25,511
(ethereal whooshing)
Please pray to you
104
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:28,381
in unity with the Holy Spirit.
105
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,282
Forever and ever.
106
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:31,384
Amen.
107
00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:43,896
(soft tense music)
108
00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:46,599
- Well shit, that
was unexpected.
109
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:48,935
Good work, Ian.
110
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:53,005
Class dismissed.
111
00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:05,485
Have the trainees examined
112
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,887
before they go back
to their quarters.
113
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:10,323
That thing could have
jumped into any of them.
114
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,492
And let Angela's family
know she's clean.
115
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,126
- [Guard] Yes, sir.
116
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:15,895
- [Sir] Ian, may I
see you in my office?
117
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:19,165
(ethereal tense music)
118
00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:41,220
- You wanted to see me?
119
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,728
- Good work back there, son.
120
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:51,163
- Thanks, mom.
121
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:54,767
- He's the reason
we're doing this.
122
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,102
Remember that, okay?
123
00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:02,241
Now, I want to send you
on your first assignment.
124
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:03,309
- Really?
125
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:04,377
- Do you not want to?
126
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:06,479
- I do but.
127
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,280
- But?
128
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:10,917
- Yes, I'm thankful.
129
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:12,952
- Great.
130
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,790
Remington high rise,
near 50th and Prospect.
131
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:19,325
Low income housing.
132
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,827
Said to have a class five
possession on each floor.
133
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:23,462
Nine stories.
134
00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:25,064
I'm putting a team
together to go in.
135
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:25,965
You interested?
136
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:31,604
Feeling all right?
137
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:34,907
- Uh yes, thank you.
138
00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:36,943
- Good.
139
00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:39,312
Then pack your things.
140
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,646
Team leaves tonight.
141
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:47,720
He's always watching after
you, you know that right?
142
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,822
Just like in that photo
you keep with you.
143
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,525
- What photo?
144
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,161
- That old photo of Kyle
you keep in your pocket.
145
00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:00,633
- How do you know about that?
146
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,568
(eerie tense music)
147
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:03,903
Mother.
148
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:06,906
(eerie tense music)
149
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,901
(eerie tense music)
150
00:11:19,211 --> 00:11:22,048
(low eerie music)
151
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:53,145
- [Man] Oh my God,
that mask is so scary.
152
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:54,413
- [Man] Is it?
153
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:55,681
- [Man] Oh it's great.
154
00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:56,649
- [Man] Okay, I was
worried about it.
155
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:57,850
It's not my normal thing.
156
00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:58,684
- Take a cookie.
- Did you make these?
157
00:11:58,684 --> 00:11:59,518
- [Man] Did I make 'em?
158
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:00,586
My mother made 'em.
159
00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:01,253
Take one.
- They look delicious.
160
00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:01,721
- Okay, folks.
161
00:12:03,155 --> 00:12:06,759
Let's get this Satan Saturday
fun day underway, shall we?
162
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:10,730
As always, I am your leader.
163
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:13,199
Cthulhu.
164
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,503
And uh, yeah, hail Satan.
165
00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:19,138
- [All] Hail Satan.
166
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:20,072
- Before we begin,
167
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,241
I want to congratulate George
168
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,310
for sacrificing
his first born son
169
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,845
for the glory of Satan.
170
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:29,348
So, let's give a big round of
applause for George, everyone.
171
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,350
(group applauding)
172
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:32,384
- [George] Thanks, everyone.
173
00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:33,319
Thank you.
174
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,053
I'm just happy to be here.
175
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:35,454
Thank you.
176
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:38,190
- Our annual doggy fundraiser
is slowly approaching.
177
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:40,693
So make sure to bring
in your dog of choice
178
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,128
for the grand feast.
179
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,863
Last year, we
successfully butchered
180
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:46,232
and ate 23 dogs.
181
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:49,235
So let's try to beat that record
this year, huh, guys, yeah?
182
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:52,138
(group applauding)
183
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:54,673
(man sneezing)
184
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,143
(man farting)
185
00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:01,580
That will be Halloween
night at exactly eight pm.
186
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,249
Are there any questions.
187
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:04,450
Yes.
188
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,051
- [Man] What time will it be at?
189
00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:06,886
- Eight pm.
190
00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:08,921
Uh huh.
191
00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:11,891
- Dude, it will be at eight pm.
192
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:14,827
- Oh you're a life saver.
193
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:18,798
- Okay, are there
any other questions?
194
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,865
- My feet hurt.
195
00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:20,900
- That's a statement.
196
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:24,870
Brandon, why ae you not
wearing your uniform?
197
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:30,709
Mhm, okay, yeah.
198
00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:31,777
Anyone else?
199
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:33,913
Eight pm.
200
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:36,348
Right.
201
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:38,417
Moving on.
202
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,686
Everyone please give
a warm Satanic welcome
203
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:44,156
to Mr. Joel Henderson,
our newest inductee.
204
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,758
(man cheers)
205
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:48,260
(eerie chanting music)
206
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:49,495
(stereo clicks off)
207
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:50,296
Brother Joel has
been with our sect
208
00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:51,831
for just over two months
209
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:55,167
and it is by the choice of
our divine leader, Satan,
210
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,969
that he become a member.
211
00:13:56,969 --> 00:13:59,505
(Group wailing ethereally)
212
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,773
- Hey, everybody.
213
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:03,008
I'm really glad to be here.
214
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:07,213
- Brother Joel, are you ready
for your final assignment
215
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:08,414
before your induction?
216
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:12,184
- Yes, Master Cthulhu.
217
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,786
- Excellent.
218
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,387
Bring out the sacrifice.
219
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:18,891
(ethereal chanting music)
220
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:28,500
- Hi, everyone.
221
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:29,335
(stereo clicking off)
222
00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:30,269
Great to be here.
223
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:31,070
- [Cthulhu] Quiet, Jerry.
224
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,938
- Oh right, sorry.
225
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,707
Help me, I'm trapped.
226
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:35,541
Ah.
227
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:39,678
- Now, Joel.
228
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:43,549
To become a member
of this unholy sect,
229
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:46,819
you must kill Jerry.
230
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,626
(eerie tense music)
231
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,004
- Huh?
232
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:07,273
- Well, as a member
of this unholy sect,
233
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:09,541
one must first kill a sacrifice.
234
00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:10,509
Of course.
235
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:14,480
- Dude, hey.
236
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,981
It's totally cool.
237
00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:16,849
I hate my wife.
238
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:17,750
- [Cthulhu] Jerry.
239
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,592
(eerie tense music)
240
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:32,831
- I don't think I can, I
don't think I can do this.
241
00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:34,266
I wasn't...
242
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,834
- I see you have
doubts in Satan.
243
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,604
- Oh no, no, no, no.
244
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,739
It wasn't, it's not that.
245
00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:41,740
It's not that at all.
246
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:42,574
I was just, you know,
247
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:43,409
you know, I just.
248
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,712
I didn't think I'd
have to kill someone.
249
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:54,920
- In order for Satan to bless
us with his glorious liquids,
250
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:55,754
we must--
(man stifling laughter)
251
00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:57,456
Quit giggling.
252
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:58,290
It's not funny.
253
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:05,064
In order for Satan to bless
us with his glorious liquids,
254
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:07,266
we must commit the
most unholy of acts
255
00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:09,902
to show our dedication to
the prince of darkness.
256
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,503
- I know, but can I like,
257
00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:15,074
can I like kill a
bunny or something?
258
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:17,843
(group laughing)
259
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:23,082
- Okay, enough screwing around.
260
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:25,851
Now Joel.
261
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:28,420
Satan waits for his sacrifice.
262
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:34,126
You could either slice
open Jerry's jugular
263
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,929
with this surgical knife.
264
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:41,066
Cut his eyeballs out one by one.
265
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:45,104
Pluck his brain out slowly
with these tiny tweezers,
266
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:47,573
or light his hair on fire
267
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,142
and watch him slowly burn.
268
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:52,144
- Oh, oh.
269
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:53,379
I vote that last one.
270
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:54,980
That sounds horrible.
- Jerry, goddamn it!
271
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:57,850
Shut your mouth.
272
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:00,552
Which one?
273
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:09,495
(Joel clearing throat)
274
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:12,498
(eerie tense music)
275
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:25,644
(Joel breathing heavily)
276
00:17:44,129 --> 00:17:47,132
(eerie tense music)
277
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:55,774
(Jerry gurgling)
278
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,949
Yes, yes!
279
00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,350
Hail Satan!
280
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:06,185
- [Group] Hail Satan.
281
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:08,087
- Welcome, Brother Joel,
282
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,223
to Earth's most unholy alliance.
283
00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:13,025
Come forth and be--
284
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,961
(Jerry sputtering)
285
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:21,800
Come forth and be recognized
286
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,502
as this sects newest member.
287
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:28,407
(Joel wheezing laughter)
288
00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:34,146
(Both laughing)
289
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:42,121
(blood splattering)
290
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:47,059
- Did any get on me?
291
00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:52,798
(fire crackling)
292
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,900
- Who has called upon me?
293
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:58,070
- Your greatness, is that you?
294
00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:00,005
- Of course it's me, fool.
295
00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:01,206
Now I'm missing
Hitler's birthday party,
296
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:02,608
so this better be good.
297
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:05,210
- My apologies, divine leader.
298
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,712
We have a new inductee
299
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:11,049
and wanted to shower thy
glorious liquids unto him.
300
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:17,222
- What the fuck are
you talking about?
301
00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:18,390
- Thy glorious liquids.
302
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:20,826
The unholy ceremony, of course.
303
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:22,995
- Dude, no.
304
00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:25,464
That's weird as fuck.
305
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:26,398
Stop saying that.
306
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:30,302
- The slaughter of the unworthy?
307
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:31,803
The killing of
the firstborn son?
308
00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:33,505
The slaying of animals?
309
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,607
Isn't that what you preach?
310
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:36,441
- No.
311
00:19:37,809 --> 00:19:39,611
Where are you getting
this shit from?
312
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:40,612
- [Man] Wikipedia.
313
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,350
- You guys are embarrassing.
314
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,520
I'm out of here.
315
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:55,627
(man coughing)
316
00:19:55,627 --> 00:20:00,566
(ethereal gospel music)
(upbeat hip hop music)
317
00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:45,577
(eerie tense music)
20748
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