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1
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(ominous music)
2
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(skull splattering)
3
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(creepy music)
4
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(creepy music)
5
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(ominous music)
6
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(aggressive rock music)
7
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(people talking over each other)
8
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- Hey bro, can you give me a beer please?
9
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- No, you're driving.
10
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- Give the man a beer, he's been driving all day.
11
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- Come on, we're nearly there, what harm can it do?
12
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- Are we nearly there?
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I need to pee.
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- Where is there exactly, I mean, where are we going?
15
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(ominous music)
16
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- We're going there in that old shitty hospital?
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- It's educational.
18
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- It's fucking creepy.
19
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- You really know those special out of the way places
20
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that a girl will just love.
21
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- I also know how to get to those
22
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out of the way woman places.
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- Yeah, fucking creepy.
24
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- Let's break out those flashlights
25
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and we can all get our creep on, huh?
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- I'll let you creep up on me, Trev.
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- (laughs) I'm counting on it, babe.
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- Come on, guys, let's go!
29
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Last one in has to say Bloody Mary five times
30
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in the first mirror we see!
31
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(ominous music)
32
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- Ha, is this your idea of fun?
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- Eh, this is what we do.
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Come on, join the party.
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- Come on, Anna!
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First time is the scariest, but you got to jump right in,
37
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like ripping off a Band-Aid.
38
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- Whose turn is it?
39
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- You know I'm going to say it's my turn, right?
40
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- Which means it's really mine.
41
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- No, no, no that's not how this works.
42
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- I think we should split up!
43
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- God dammit, it was my turn.
44
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- Get fucked.
45
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- You first.
46
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- With any luck.
47
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- I'm going with Trev.
48
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- Of course you are.
49
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- Well, I guess you're with me then, new girl.
50
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- Why does going off into the dark
51
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with someone you barely know not seem like a good idea.
52
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- Someone always says that.
53
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(ominous music)
54
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- [Trev] Come on, babe.
55
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- Does it get much more exciting than this?
56
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I'm not sure I can handle it.
57
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(ominous music)
58
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- Joss?
59
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Hey babe, you there?
60
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Oh, I'm so scared of you hiding out here in the dark, Joss.
61
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Waiting on me.
62
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- I'm not hiding.
63
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- I can see that.
64
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(creepy rumbling)
65
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- What is that?
66
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(creepy rumbling)
67
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- You've just got to let it happen, okay.
68
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(creepy rumbling)
69
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It'll be over soon and then we can start again.
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(creepy rumbling)
71
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- What, what the hell are you talking about?
72
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(creepy rumbling) (Anna screaming)
73
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- Did you hear that?
74
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- Well, I'm kind of busy at the moment.
75
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- Trev, seriously, listen!
76
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- Oh my god, I guess you really don't get used to it.
77
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(Mark screaming)
78
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- Oh my God.
79
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- Should we go check it out?
80
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- No, no, absolutely not!
81
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- But I feel like I have to.
82
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- No, you always do this!
83
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Don't you leave me!
84
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Trev!
85
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Asshole.
86
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- Mark?
87
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Mark, Mark?
88
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Joss, come on, (monster growling)
89
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get out of here now!
90
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:41,848
- Trev?
91
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(Trev screaming)
92
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Trev!?
93
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(creepy rumbling)
94
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(monster gurgling)
95
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(Joss screaming)
96
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(ominous music)
97
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(aggressive rock music)
98
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:13,212
(people talking over each other)
99
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:16,516
- Hey bro, can you give me a beer please?
100
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(ominous music)
101
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(camera shutter clicking)
102
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(ominous music)
103
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(camera shutter clicking)
104
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(people yelling in agony)
105
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- [Joss] It hurts, it hurts so much.
106
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- [Trev] It hurts so much.
107
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Help me.
108
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(screaming)
109
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(ominous music)
110
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(car door opening)
111
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- Hey, new girl.
112
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- Come on over, there's room for one more.
113
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(people chatting)
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(ominous synthesizer music)
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(monster growling)
116
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(creepy music)
117
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(creepy music)
118
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(VCR door closing)
119
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(static)
120
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(ominous music)
121
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(old ballroom music)
122
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- You don't talk very much, do you? (laughs)
123
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That's just fine with me.
124
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Guess I'll be the one doing the talking.
125
00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:52,231
My, my, what big eyes you have, my dear.
126
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:03,509
They told me they found you at the bottom of a lake.
127
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You drowned.
128
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Your lungs filled with the water and mud.
129
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What were you doing down there?
130
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You know,
131
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you're one of the prettiest girls I've ever worked on.
132
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I've seen all different types of people come in here.
133
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Old people,
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young people,
135
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kids, even babies.
136
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People that are torn in half, all cut up,
137
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missing limbs.
138
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They took a lot of work.
139
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But not you.
140
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You're easy.
141
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Just a couple touch ups and,
142
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(glove snapping)
143
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voila,
144
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you're done.
145
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I like you.
146
00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:22,955
(old ballroom music)
147
00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:36,369
(music slowing down)
148
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(mortician taking a deep breath)
149
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Let's get you cleaned up.
150
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Let's seal up those lips
151
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so you can't kiss and tell, darling, hm?
152
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Sweet dreams, beautiful.
153
00:11:57,316 --> 00:12:00,019
(metal creaking)
154
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,458
(door squeaking)
155
00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:11,697
(quiet rumbling)
156
00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:19,305
(girl inhaling)
157
00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:25,377
(door squeaking)
158
00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:40,993
(door closing)
159
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(door squeaking)
160
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:20,132
(girl breathing)
161
00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:29,441
(scary music) (mortician screaming)
162
00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:31,043
(girl growling)
163
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(mortician screaming)
164
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No, no, oh my God!
165
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- I like you too.
166
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,787
- Oh God, stay away from me! (screaming)
167
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- Do you still think I'm beautiful?
168
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- No no no, I didn't, no! (screaming)
169
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- Now it's my turn.
170
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(screaming)
171
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(old ballroom music)
172
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,937
(music slowing down)
173
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:36,742
(girl breathing)
174
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,679
(creepy music)
175
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,852
(creepy music)
176
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:57,696
(equipment snapping)
177
00:14:57,696 --> 00:14:59,131
- Okay, so I'm going to ask you guys
178
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to talk about the happy couple
179
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and I just want you to say what comes natural.
180
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Sound good?
181
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:04,603
- Sounds good.
182
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:06,672
I think we just want to say congratulations.
183
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:08,407
You guys are perfect for each other.
184
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We're so happy for you.
185
00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:11,543
- Yeah, you guys are awesome.
186
00:15:11,543 --> 00:15:13,212
It's really brave to do what you're doing.
187
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:14,914
We just love you so much.
188
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- You guys are gonna be great.
189
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:17,249
- [Cameraman] Okay, so just go ahead
190
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and say what you want to say.
191
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:18,884
- Okay.
192
00:15:20,352 --> 00:15:24,723
Well, Alex, Sam, you guys are so beautiful together.
193
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I know your parents decided not to come today
194
00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,961
and I know that that's sad,
195
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,697
but I want you to remember how many friends came.
196
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We love you, no matter what.
197
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(kisses) Congratulations.
198
00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:39,104
- Party time! - Woo-hoo-hoo!
199
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,506
- Let's get drunk!
200
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:42,441
- We, we started a little early.
201
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(laughing)
202
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:46,011
- The beer pong cups were a nice addition
203
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,413
to the wedding decor.
204
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,250
- Is this a Catholic mass?
205
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:53,118
- Well, it's not really a wedding, is it?
206
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,254
I mean, it's not even legal here yet.
207
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:56,355
Is it?
208
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,289
- [Cameraman] I don't know, man.
209
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,557
I'm just doing the video.
210
00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:01,260
- It's like a, a union or something.
211
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:02,928
What does the Bible say about it?
212
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:07,833
Anyways, enjoy your day, guys.
213
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:10,703
And yeah,
214
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,938
you're gonna cut the other shit out though right?
215
00:16:12,938 --> 00:16:15,674
- Well guys, I know this is sort of a shotgun thing.
216
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:18,911
Not sure if someone got pregnant or something,
217
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:20,546
but here's to you.
218
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:21,580
To Dan and Sarah.
219
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:26,318
- Um, this is Sam and Alex's wedding.
220
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:27,419
- Sam and Alex?
221
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,089
Who are they?
222
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:31,890
Am I at the wrong wedding?
223
00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:33,092
- I think so.
224
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:35,194
This is definitely not for Dan or Sarah.
225
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:38,797
- Dammit, not again.
226
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,868
So like, no cake or anything?
227
00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:43,736
- [Cameraman] No.
228
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:47,306
- Hi, Alex.
229
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:49,241
I'm really happy you invited me today.
230
00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:55,381
I know it's been really hard for you and Sam.
231
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:58,050
I'm sorry that I may have added to that.
232
00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,918
I know Mom and Dad didn't come,
233
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,022
but I'm really happy I'm here.
234
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,456
I mean, it may take me some time
235
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:09,461
to get used to the idea of you two, (giggles)
236
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:14,166
but today is all about you
237
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and that's so great.
238
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,005
It's great.
239
00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:21,006
- Okay, whew.
240
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,509
That's okay.
241
00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:24,810
You're allowed to be nervous.
242
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:25,911
It's perfectly natural.
243
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:27,413
Today's a big day.
244
00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:30,616
And so many people are counting on you to do this well,
245
00:17:30,616 --> 00:17:31,817
so do it well!
246
00:17:32,951 --> 00:17:35,120
No matter what they say,
247
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this is the right thing to do.
248
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,526
(knocking)
249
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:41,827
- Hey man, it's time.
250
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:43,762
You're ready?
251
00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:45,197
- Yeah.
252
00:17:45,197 --> 00:17:46,732
Just so nervous, man.
253
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,600
- Good, should be.
254
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,703
(laughing nervously)
255
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:57,209
("Here Comes the Bride" on organ)
256
00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:10,989
(Sam wheezing)
257
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:21,633
- Has she lost weight?
258
00:18:25,804 --> 00:18:27,272
(Sam wheezing)
259
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:28,907
- There is nothing more beautiful in God's creation
260
00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:30,609
than the love for another being.
261
00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:33,979
Love is patient, love is kind.
262
00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:36,715
It does not envy, it does not boast.
263
00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:37,916
(Sam wheezing)
264
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:41,120
It is not proud, it does not dishonor others.
265
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:45,424
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered.
266
00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:47,659
It keeps no record of wrongs.
267
00:18:47,659 --> 00:18:52,464
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.
268
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It always protects, always trusts,
269
00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:59,471
always hopes, always perseveres.
270
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Today, we are here to celebrate Alex
271
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and Sam.
272
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:07,146
You may have hard days ahead of you,
273
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but your love for each other
274
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,582
will only make those struggles easier.
275
00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:14,720
So today, in front of God and family,
276
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,121
you may now kiss the bride.
277
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:20,325
(creepy music)
278
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,233
(creepy music)
279
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,371
You may now kiss the bride.
280
00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:37,709
(Sam growling) (Alex screaming)
281
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:40,746
(attendees screaming)
282
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:41,980
- Today is the big day,
283
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,283
and I don't think we could be more excited.
284
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:46,785
(Sam moaning)
285
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,355
(Sam gurgling) Honey, stop it, stop it.
286
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,127
We were both nervous for what people would think,
287
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:57,496
but ultimately it's not like our personal life
288
00:19:57,496 --> 00:19:58,764
will affect anyone else.
289
00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:04,836
(attendees screaming)
290
00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:07,706
(woman screaming)
291
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,876
(attendees screaming)
292
00:20:13,111 --> 00:20:15,681
(Sam gurgling)
293
00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:25,023
- Get up!
294
00:20:25,023 --> 00:20:29,828
Get up, what are you doing! (screaming)
295
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,299
(screaming)
296
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:42,841
(Sam wheezing)
297
00:20:44,776 --> 00:20:48,447
(preacher yelling)
298
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:50,849
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
299
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:57,022
(Sam gurgling)
300
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:12,971
- Honey, that was awesome!
301
00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:14,773
We gotta go, we're gonna get eaten.
302
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:16,541
- [Man] Where's my inhaler!?
303
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:18,410
(screaming)
304
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:21,179
Both of us were excited to write our own vows.
305
00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:24,683
Couldn't really do the traditional ones for obvious reasons.
306
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:27,486
I mean that whole 'til death do us part thing,
307
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:28,787
didn't really work for us.
308
00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:33,091
(ominous music)
309
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:36,962
(folk music)
310
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:42,067
♪ I packed my dusty old guitar
311
00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:44,970
♪ Canceled all my credit cards
312
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:49,474
♪ I had to run and change my name ♪
313
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:51,943
♪ I think I missed the rapture
314
00:21:51,943 --> 00:21:55,113
♪ Or else somebody snatch her
315
00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:59,518
♪ It's takin' me out of the frame ♪
316
00:21:59,518 --> 00:22:02,120
♪ But I'm too stressed
317
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:05,424
♪ And I'm repressed
318
00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:10,028
♪ To say it all that's on my mind ♪
319
00:22:10,028 --> 00:22:12,230
♪ You left me
320
00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:15,734
♪ And you get me
321
00:22:15,734 --> 00:22:19,304
♪ No you don't, never mind
322
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:23,675
(creepy music)
21140
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