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1
00:00:02,381 --> 00:00:05,143
Hey, Greg.
Hold on a second.
2
00:00:05,177 --> 00:00:07,593
Hey. What's going on? Hello.
Welcome to Hell.
3
00:00:07,628 --> 00:00:09,664
Got any debit cards?
4
00:00:09,699 --> 00:00:13,392
We are about to release
the sequel to "Fried Alive"
5
00:00:13,427 --> 00:00:16,223
for you, our fans,
which means more blood,
6
00:00:16,257 --> 00:00:17,776
more boobs, more batter.
7
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:20,848
So, batter up for
an extra crispy good time.
8
00:00:20,882 --> 00:00:23,333
We only need $400,000
9
00:00:23,368 --> 00:00:26,198
and put a fork in it --
our financing's done.
10
00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:28,718
At the $5 level,
our tater tot level,
11
00:00:28,752 --> 00:00:31,721
you get a exclusive
e-mail updates from...
12
00:00:31,755 --> 00:00:35,104
That's a cool collection.
13
00:00:35,138 --> 00:00:37,865
Thank you, yeah.
Y-You see my Italian poster?
14
00:00:37,899 --> 00:00:38,969
It's super rare.
15
00:00:39,004 --> 00:00:40,523
It's "Il Fritto Vivo!"
16
00:00:40,557 --> 00:00:42,870
I'm talking about
the credit cards, you idiot.
17
00:00:42,904 --> 00:00:44,285
You been swiping wallets
off the noobs
18
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,631
coming down the chute,
so you can do what,
19
00:00:45,666 --> 00:00:47,461
start your own Planet Hollywood
down here?
20
00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:49,428
Nothing so prestigious
as that.
21
00:00:49,463 --> 00:00:52,569
If I give $75,
I can be an executive producer
22
00:00:52,604 --> 00:00:55,089
on the new "Fried Alive."They're making a new one?!
23
00:00:55,124 --> 00:00:56,608
Oh, that franchise
hasn't been right
24
00:00:56,642 --> 00:00:58,092
since they went to space.
25
00:00:58,127 --> 00:00:59,887
Yeah, "Freeze Dried Alive."[ Chuckling ] Well -- Yes!
26
00:00:59,921 --> 00:01:02,200
Do you remember
when he tried to fry
27
00:01:02,234 --> 00:01:03,891
Saturn's rings?!Fry Saturn's rings!
28
00:01:03,925 --> 00:01:06,273
Why was NASA
sending a fry chef,
29
00:01:06,307 --> 00:01:09,207
who was a murderer,
into space?
30
00:01:09,241 --> 00:01:11,381
Oh, let me watch this pitch
here. Let's see.
31
00:01:11,416 --> 00:01:13,659
Then you can make
"Fried Alive 11:
32
00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:16,006
Hail to the Chef"
a reality.
33
00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:18,561
Rudy, the root of all evil,
is back.
34
00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:20,908
And now he's head chef
at the White House.
35
00:01:20,942 --> 00:01:23,635
So when the president, the
cabinet, and all of Congress
36
00:01:23,669 --> 00:01:26,293
mysteriously get
deep fried to death,
37
00:01:26,327 --> 00:01:28,985
Rudy is sworn in
as Commander in Chief.
38
00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:30,607
With Rudy's finger
on the button,
39
00:01:30,642 --> 00:01:34,163
global conflicts are
about to get extra crispy.
40
00:01:34,197 --> 00:01:35,612
Rudy cannot speak!
41
00:01:35,647 --> 00:01:38,098
How is he supposed
to talk about legislature?!
42
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:41,170
I-I know!How is he supposed
to do fireside chats?
43
00:01:41,204 --> 00:01:43,103
The formula for "Fried Alive"
is simple --
44
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,414
all you need is Rudy,
a deep fryer,
45
00:01:44,449 --> 00:01:45,691
and a chick
with big tits.
46
00:01:45,726 --> 00:01:47,762
It's a hero's journey
into the fryer.
47
00:01:47,797 --> 00:01:49,937
We could write the next
"Fried Alive."We definitely should.
48
00:01:49,971 --> 00:01:51,525
We areare gonna write the next
"Fried Alive."
49
00:01:51,559 --> 00:01:53,147
We're not actually going to.No, we're going to do it.
50
00:01:53,182 --> 00:01:54,597
Why can't we write it?
Gary, come on.
51
00:01:54,631 --> 00:01:57,772
You and me.
Anton McDuffy
owns the rights.
52
00:01:57,807 --> 00:02:00,706
Sequel--
53
00:02:00,741 --> 00:02:02,191
How did you do that?
Yeah.
54
00:02:02,225 --> 00:02:04,124
He uploaded that video,
like, a week ago.
55
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,022
Who's writing the next
"Fried Alive" now?!
56
00:02:06,056 --> 00:02:07,196
You and--
57
00:02:07,230 --> 00:02:08,956
[ Both laugh ]
58
00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:10,578
[ Both groaning ]
59
00:02:13,650 --> 00:02:16,066
♪♪
60
00:02:16,101 --> 00:02:19,449
[ Engine turns off ]
61
00:02:19,484 --> 00:02:21,002
[ Sighs ]
62
00:02:21,037 --> 00:02:22,176
[ Truck door closes ]
63
00:02:22,211 --> 00:02:23,971
[ Wolf howls in distance ]
64
00:02:24,005 --> 00:02:25,283
[ Thunder rumbles ]
65
00:02:25,317 --> 00:02:28,286
Welcome to day one
of the writer's retreat.
66
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,151
Home, sweet home, huh?
67
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:34,292
Get comfy, and then we're gonna
write the new "Fried Alive."
68
00:02:34,326 --> 00:02:36,017
Revived and refried.
69
00:02:36,052 --> 00:02:38,641
Troy's getting
the party started.Do we have any limes?
70
00:02:38,675 --> 00:02:40,332
There's a lime tree
down in the basement.
71
00:02:40,367 --> 00:02:42,679
I'll be right back.
72
00:02:42,714 --> 00:02:51,654
♪♪
73
00:02:51,688 --> 00:03:00,663
♪♪
74
00:03:00,697 --> 00:03:02,699
[ Maniacal laughter ]
75
00:03:02,734 --> 00:03:05,219
You know, when Gary and I
hatched this crazy idea
76
00:03:05,254 --> 00:03:06,841
to write
a "Fried Alive" script,
77
00:03:06,876 --> 00:03:09,568
we decided we wanted to do
something fresh and original,
78
00:03:09,603 --> 00:03:12,261
but with that
classic Rudy feel.
79
00:03:12,295 --> 00:03:14,021
So, uh...put
your thinking caps on,
80
00:03:14,055 --> 00:03:15,540
just start throwing
ideas as us.
81
00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:17,369
See, as long as all the ideas
take place
82
00:03:17,404 --> 00:03:19,233
with Rudy having access
to a fryer
83
00:03:19,268 --> 00:03:21,201
so all of the action
of the film
84
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,512
happens inside
of a diner.
85
00:03:22,547 --> 00:03:25,135
Okay, I think it could
be, maybe, scarier
86
00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:26,758
if he, like, could
leave the diner,
87
00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:28,104
get out of his element,
88
00:03:28,138 --> 00:03:30,348
and, like, see if
he could get people--
89
00:03:30,382 --> 00:03:31,521
I think...
No.
90
00:03:31,556 --> 00:03:34,110
No. Uh, Rudy lives
in the diner.
91
00:03:34,144 --> 00:03:37,217
He lives behind the fryer.
And who are you?
92
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,529
I'm Ashley,
and I will say, Satan,
93
00:03:39,564 --> 00:03:41,773
even though women are
50% of the population,
94
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:46,605
I am thrilled to be one-sixth
of this writers' room.
95
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,711
I have never met you before.Well, technically,
96
00:03:48,745 --> 00:03:50,437
you're one-seventh
of the writers' room.
97
00:03:50,471 --> 00:03:51,921
Don't forget
about Johnny.
98
00:03:51,955 --> 00:03:54,579
[ Humming tune ]
99
00:03:54,613 --> 00:03:56,236
What's going on there,
Johnny?
100
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:58,617
I'm writing the theme music
in my mind --
101
00:03:58,652 --> 00:03:59,825
theme music.
102
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:01,896
[ Resumes humming ]
103
00:04:01,931 --> 00:04:04,140
[ Grunts ]
104
00:04:04,174 --> 00:04:05,245
[ Screams ]
105
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,833
[ Grunting ]
106
00:04:07,868 --> 00:04:09,732
[ Screaming in distance ]Let's go check that out!
107
00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:11,320
Come on.Yeah. We probably should.
108
00:04:11,354 --> 00:04:12,631
Satan: Troy?! Troy?
109
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:13,908
[ Screams ]
What's wrong?
110
00:04:13,943 --> 00:04:15,255
Oh, something grabbed me!
111
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,567
With hands like --
like two fried catfish
112
00:04:17,602 --> 00:04:19,604
and long crispy fingers!No, no.
113
00:04:19,638 --> 00:04:22,745
Troy, Troy!
Relax, relax.
114
00:04:22,779 --> 00:04:25,989
I'm sure it's nothing.
115
00:04:26,024 --> 00:04:28,647
[ Cats meow ]
116
00:04:28,682 --> 00:04:31,650
[ Chuckling ] Oh.
It's just my 50 cats.
117
00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:34,446
Yeah, I feed them
these fish sticks.
118
00:04:34,481 --> 00:04:36,483
You probably thought
those were fingers.
119
00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:39,451
-Ew!
-[ Laughter ]
120
00:04:39,486 --> 00:04:41,453
That's what it was probably,
I guess.
121
00:04:41,488 --> 00:04:46,700
What if Rudy eats a raw camper
in his sleeping bag
122
00:04:46,734 --> 00:04:48,633
like a sushi roll?Rudy's not some kind of,
123
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:50,324
like, travel blog,
like foodie,
124
00:04:50,359 --> 00:04:52,775
raw food-to-table
kind of guy, okay?
125
00:04:52,809 --> 00:04:55,295
He fries people like
carnival food, so...
126
00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:56,848
Claude: Okay.
I have a pitch.
127
00:04:56,882 --> 00:04:59,022
So, everybody knows
that all these movies
128
00:04:59,057 --> 00:05:00,679
are totally
lame and hacky.
129
00:05:00,714 --> 00:05:04,718
So we do the behind the scenes
of a making of a "Fried Alive,"
130
00:05:04,752 --> 00:05:08,342
but Rudy starts killing
the cast and crew.
131
00:05:08,377 --> 00:05:11,138
See, and we intercut
them dying
132
00:05:11,172 --> 00:05:12,622
with the movie they're making.
133
00:05:12,657 --> 00:05:15,453
But we're -- we are making
a "Fried Alive" movie.
134
00:05:15,487 --> 00:05:18,663
And we'd be making a movie
about fictitious people
135
00:05:18,697 --> 00:05:20,906
making a movie.Other people making
a "Fried Alive" movie.
136
00:05:20,941 --> 00:05:24,082
Yes.So we're gonna hire a whole
other production company
137
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,532
to make another movie.
138
00:05:25,566 --> 00:05:27,637
No, we're gonna hire
one production company
139
00:05:27,672 --> 00:05:29,674
to make it look
like there's another
140
00:05:29,708 --> 00:05:31,745
production company
making a movie.
141
00:05:31,779 --> 00:05:32,987
It's meta, Gary.
142
00:05:33,022 --> 00:05:37,371
Oh, well, I never metaidea
I liked less.
143
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,823
Other ideas, please.
144
00:05:40,857 --> 00:05:43,204
What if Rudy dies, okay,
145
00:05:43,239 --> 00:05:45,379
and has a sister
who carries on his name?
146
00:05:45,414 --> 00:05:46,863
A female reboot.
I like it. I like it.
147
00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:48,278
No. No.Write it down, write it down.
148
00:05:48,313 --> 00:05:49,659
No. No.
Yes. Yes, down.
149
00:05:49,694 --> 00:05:51,040
Write it.
I will not.
150
00:05:51,074 --> 00:05:52,766
He's an only child.Right, I never watched it--
151
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,285
He was raised alone
in a vat of fetuses
152
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,874
by the evil Nazi
Dr. Melchior.
153
00:05:57,909 --> 00:05:59,497
How far are we
gonna soften him?
154
00:05:59,531 --> 00:06:00,567
Why don't we do a thing
where he goes,
155
00:06:00,601 --> 00:06:01,740
and he moves
to the suburbs
156
00:06:01,775 --> 00:06:03,846
and he meets
the lovely Tara Reid,
157
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,744
and they --
and he gets an office job.
158
00:06:05,779 --> 00:06:07,297
And he has
two or three kids.
159
00:06:07,332 --> 00:06:08,575
Um, I mean that --
that could work.
160
00:06:08,609 --> 00:06:09,610
That might
humanize him.
161
00:06:09,645 --> 00:06:12,751
You cannothumanize...
162
00:06:12,786 --> 00:06:17,584
something that wasn't human
to begin with.
163
00:06:17,618 --> 00:06:19,586
We're making some
kind of, oh...
164
00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:21,864
"Sisterhood of the Traveling
Rudy Pants."
165
00:06:21,898 --> 00:06:24,418
"How Rudy Got
His Groove Back."
166
00:06:24,453 --> 00:06:26,869
We making one
of those?
167
00:06:26,903 --> 00:06:29,699
He fries heads, bodies,
and titties,
168
00:06:29,734 --> 00:06:32,461
and he eats them --
end of story.
169
00:06:32,495 --> 00:06:34,532
Then why in the hell are
we brainstorming?
170
00:06:34,566 --> 00:06:35,878
We're trying to come up
with different ways
171
00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:39,329
for him to trick busty coeds
into the fryer.
172
00:06:39,364 --> 00:06:42,436
Who's Rudy?
173
00:06:42,471 --> 00:06:43,748
Satan: I think we're
gonna call it a day.
174
00:06:43,782 --> 00:06:45,474
We -- We made
a lot of progress,
175
00:06:45,508 --> 00:06:47,303
and we're gonna go
right back at it tomorrow.
176
00:06:47,337 --> 00:06:49,063
♪♪
177
00:06:49,098 --> 00:06:50,237
[ Gurgling ]
178
00:06:50,271 --> 00:06:54,552
♪♪
179
00:06:54,586 --> 00:06:57,313
Eddie: This water is thick.
180
00:06:57,347 --> 00:06:59,246
And yellow.
181
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:08,186
♪♪
182
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:09,670
Do you mind, Ashley?
183
00:07:09,705 --> 00:07:13,571
Oh. I am...
so sorry.
184
00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:14,986
Leave the shower on.
185
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:17,091
I'm gonna go in there
once I'm done grunting this out.
186
00:07:17,126 --> 00:07:18,990
Okay.
Yes, okay.
187
00:07:19,024 --> 00:07:23,132
[ Rumbling ]
188
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:26,342
[ Rumbling intensifies ]
189
00:07:26,376 --> 00:07:27,792
[ Screams ]
190
00:07:27,826 --> 00:07:30,311
[ Cats meow ]
191
00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:33,142
Ahh!
192
00:07:33,176 --> 00:07:36,110
[ Engine whirring ]
193
00:07:36,145 --> 00:07:39,010
[ Water bubbles rapidly ]
194
00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:43,808
[ Pipes rumble ]
195
00:07:43,842 --> 00:07:45,706
[ Gasping ]
196
00:07:45,741 --> 00:07:48,295
Corn meal?
That's not normal?
197
00:07:48,329 --> 00:07:49,779
Rudy's back!
198
00:07:49,814 --> 00:07:50,953
It's Rudy!
199
00:07:50,987 --> 00:07:52,402
Is the -- um...
Is the shower free?
200
00:07:52,437 --> 00:07:53,507
Are you done?
No!
201
00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:55,475
The shower's shooting
corn meal.
202
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:57,511
It's probably
just the pipes settling.
203
00:07:57,546 --> 00:07:59,306
[ Screaming in distance ]
204
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:02,792
Eddie?![ Gasps ]
205
00:08:02,827 --> 00:08:05,657
If he can fry us this far away
from the diner,
206
00:08:05,692 --> 00:08:08,039
then he can
do anything!
207
00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:10,144
I'm very sorry, Ashley.
You are correct.
208
00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:12,630
It's much scarier
if he can leave the diner.
209
00:08:12,664 --> 00:08:15,218
Everybody get back inside,
get a weapon.
210
00:08:15,253 --> 00:08:16,737
Move, now.
211
00:08:16,772 --> 00:08:18,049
All right.
212
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:19,499
He's prepping us.
213
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,811
One by one,
he's prepping us.
214
00:08:21,846 --> 00:08:24,331
All of our brainstorming here
in the cabin has stirred up
215
00:08:24,365 --> 00:08:27,645
some -- some psychic residue
that has created a real Rudy.
216
00:08:27,679 --> 00:08:29,025
Oh, yeah, is that
how it works?
Yeah.
217
00:08:29,060 --> 00:08:32,581
Guy, you see all these
spigots pointing inward?
218
00:08:32,615 --> 00:08:35,066
They're dripping
canola oil.
219
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,895
Look.
It's metal wiring.
220
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:39,173
It's kind of like a --
like a fry basket.
221
00:08:39,208 --> 00:08:42,004
The house is a fryer!
It's a deep fryer!
222
00:08:42,038 --> 00:08:43,557
All right, listen,
the only way to beat him
223
00:08:43,592 --> 00:08:45,352
is if we all
stick together.
224
00:08:45,386 --> 00:08:46,733
But I'm gonna go
upstairs.
225
00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:50,944
He has locked us in here
to lock in our flavors.
226
00:08:50,978 --> 00:08:53,256
He wants to get through
our golden crust
227
00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:54,741
to our moist middles.
228
00:08:54,775 --> 00:08:56,674
You haven't watched
the entire franchise.
229
00:08:56,708 --> 00:09:00,367
You don't know what
he's capable of, man!
230
00:09:00,401 --> 00:09:02,265
[ Rumbling ][ All screaming ]
231
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,751
Rudy's coming to get us
through the fireplace!
232
00:09:04,785 --> 00:09:05,959
Oh!
233
00:09:05,993 --> 00:09:08,582
[ Rumbling ]
234
00:09:08,617 --> 00:09:14,588
[ Cats meow ]
235
00:09:14,623 --> 00:09:16,866
How many cats does
this guy have?
236
00:09:16,901 --> 00:09:19,800
[ Growling ]
237
00:09:19,835 --> 00:09:21,319
♪♪
238
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,493
Get your stuff.
239
00:09:23,528 --> 00:09:25,495
Just stand here.
240
00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:27,394
[ Knocking ]
241
00:09:27,428 --> 00:09:29,258
Come on.
242
00:09:29,292 --> 00:09:30,397
[ Grunting ]
243
00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:32,399
Yeah.
[ Laughing ]
244
00:09:32,433 --> 00:09:35,575
All right, look.
Here's the deal.
245
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,231
Satan's doing
this whole thing
246
00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:39,095
where we're in a movie,
and we're getting chased around.
247
00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:41,581
It's the meta thing, basically,
that I pitched.
248
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,099
I don't know if Gary's
in on it or not,
249
00:09:43,134 --> 00:09:44,238
'cause he might not be
250
00:09:44,273 --> 00:09:46,068
mentally capable enough
to pull it off.
251
00:09:46,102 --> 00:09:48,726
So, if you want to be
running around all night
252
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,935
being part of the charade,
that's fine, but I'm out.
253
00:09:50,969 --> 00:09:52,488
So, um...
254
00:09:52,522 --> 00:09:56,112
see you guys on Monday.
255
00:09:56,147 --> 00:09:57,251
[ Gunshot ]
256
00:09:57,286 --> 00:09:58,528
[ Body thuds ]
257
00:09:58,563 --> 00:09:59,978
Troy: Wait.
We can do that?
258
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,744
Ugh. There's only
one bullet in this.
259
00:10:06,778 --> 00:10:09,919
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
260
00:10:09,954 --> 00:10:11,749
So you guys gotta tighten up
here, come on.
261
00:10:11,783 --> 00:10:13,613
Stop screwing around.Ashley: Okay, yeah.
262
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:14,993
[ Gunshot ]
263
00:10:15,028 --> 00:10:17,030
Troy, Ash--
It's Rudy!
Rudy's coming!
264
00:10:17,064 --> 00:10:20,033
No, it's Rudy!Aw, damn it.
265
00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:21,310
I'm sorry, Rudy.
266
00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:22,483
[ Groans ]
267
00:10:22,518 --> 00:10:25,107
Claude ruins...
everything.
268
00:10:25,141 --> 00:10:27,385
[ Keyboard clacking ]
269
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:32,217
[ Sighs loudly ]
270
00:10:32,252 --> 00:10:35,324
[ Slurping ]
271
00:10:35,358 --> 00:10:36,705
Morning, Gary.
272
00:10:36,739 --> 00:10:40,640
So relieved to see
you escaped Rudy's clutches.
273
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,331
Yeah, I mean, honestly,
I think this time,
274
00:10:42,365 --> 00:10:43,573
we got Rudy for good.
275
00:10:43,608 --> 00:10:45,058
You're being sarcastic.
276
00:10:45,092 --> 00:10:47,577
'Cause being in a horror movie
is a solid torture.
277
00:10:47,612 --> 00:10:49,062
Come on, I knew the second
we pulled up
278
00:10:49,096 --> 00:10:50,511
to the cabin
that something was up.
279
00:10:50,546 --> 00:10:51,858
Yeah, Gary,
it was pretty predictable.
280
00:10:51,892 --> 00:10:53,963
Who are you?Yeah, it was a fail.
281
00:10:53,998 --> 00:10:56,690
I'm shutting it down.No, no, no, no!
282
00:10:56,725 --> 00:10:58,243
We already got
the cabin built.
283
00:10:58,278 --> 00:10:59,589
We'll just run it again --
284
00:10:59,624 --> 00:11:02,869
dumber people,
fewer clues.
285
00:11:02,903 --> 00:11:07,045
Here we are.
Day one of the writer's retreat.
286
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,497
Let me guess,
the whole cabin is a fryer?
287
00:11:10,531 --> 00:11:11,532
Yeah, it is.
288
00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:13,051
I'll see you guys Monday.
289
00:11:13,086 --> 00:11:14,604
[ Gunshot ]
20552
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