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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,105 --> 00:00:04,176 Gary: Troy, did you unplug my monitor? 2 00:00:04,211 --> 00:00:06,661 Troy: I'm sorry. I did it -- with my foot. 3 00:00:06,696 --> 00:00:08,594 I'm sorry.Oh! Oh! 4 00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:09,940 Ow! God! 5 00:00:09,975 --> 00:00:11,597 Oh! 6 00:00:11,632 --> 00:00:12,667 Thank you, Percy. 7 00:00:12,702 --> 00:00:13,668 [ Percy squeaks ] 8 00:00:13,703 --> 00:00:15,739 Oh, holy shit. 9 00:00:15,774 --> 00:00:17,258 This is really nice. 10 00:00:17,293 --> 00:00:19,743 [ Glass shatters ]Look at this. 11 00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:25,059 [ Fetuses cooing ] 12 00:00:25,094 --> 00:00:27,579 Giddyap, horsy. Come on! 13 00:00:27,613 --> 00:00:29,546 Hey, guys. Gary! 14 00:00:29,581 --> 00:00:30,547 Look what I got! 15 00:00:30,582 --> 00:00:32,963 It's noisy paper. 16 00:00:32,998 --> 00:00:35,069 [ Chuckles ] 17 00:00:35,104 --> 00:00:40,040 [ Laughter ][ Wrap popping ] 18 00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:44,044 [ Laughter in distance ] 19 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,080 [ Popping continues ] 20 00:00:46,115 --> 00:00:47,599 Whoo! Gary! 21 00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:51,051 Some of us are trying to work, and the sound is insane! 22 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,535 So, please, take it away from them. 23 00:00:52,569 --> 00:00:54,399 You want me to take away the only pleasure 24 00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:56,228 they've ever had in their never-lived lives? 25 00:00:56,263 --> 00:00:58,058 Yeah -- No, I will not do it. 26 00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,611 -Yay! -Whoo-hoo! 27 00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:01,544 Then I will, 'cause I have authority 28 00:01:01,578 --> 00:01:05,134 over anything that's over negative six months old, okay?! 29 00:01:05,168 --> 00:01:06,549 Fully formed people are trying to work. 30 00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:08,585 Take your hands off our bubble wrap! 31 00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:11,726 Aagh! 32 00:01:11,761 --> 00:01:13,107 It's fine. 33 00:01:13,142 --> 00:01:14,729 Oh. Whoa! 34 00:01:14,764 --> 00:01:16,731 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just put the gun down. 35 00:01:16,766 --> 00:01:18,112 I don't know how you got it. 36 00:01:18,147 --> 00:01:20,597 Okay, I understand that he's a doodie-head -- 37 00:01:20,632 --> 00:01:22,910 Aah! 38 00:01:22,944 --> 00:01:24,463 [ Grunts ] 39 00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:26,086 I got shot! 40 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,089 ♪♪ 41 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,987 So, apparently, that blob of hamburger meat 42 00:01:31,021 --> 00:01:32,471 got this gun at a gun show down here. 43 00:01:32,506 --> 00:01:34,266 Since when do we have gun shows?They don't like to be 44 00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:36,268 called hamburger meat, Claude.They're accidents. 45 00:01:36,303 --> 00:01:38,167 Why don't you just hit the undo button on them? 46 00:01:38,201 --> 00:01:39,651 They have souls, too, Claude. They have nowhere to go. 47 00:01:39,685 --> 00:01:42,412 They were never born, so they were never baptized. 48 00:01:42,447 --> 00:01:44,104 Nobody wants 'em.Yeah, I don't want them, 49 00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,519 especially next to my cube. 50 00:01:45,553 --> 00:01:47,107 I mean, the world is better off without them. 51 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,763 There's actually a really interesting passage 52 00:01:48,798 --> 00:01:50,179 in "Freakonomics" that you should --Yeah, hold that. 53 00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:52,250 Hey, Gary, buddy. How you doing? 54 00:01:52,284 --> 00:01:53,527 I hustled down as soon as I heard. 55 00:01:53,561 --> 00:01:54,838 [ Groans ] It's been three months. 56 00:01:54,873 --> 00:01:56,150 You have my thoughts and prayers. 57 00:01:56,185 --> 00:01:57,634 Heard you got shot in the dick. 58 00:01:57,669 --> 00:02:00,430 I got shot in the hip.I understand. 59 00:02:00,465 --> 00:02:01,880 It's embarrassing to say you got shot in the dick, 60 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,123 so you're saying "hip." 61 00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,779 It's okay, but you might want to change 62 00:02:04,814 --> 00:02:06,264 the dressing on your "hip," 63 00:02:06,298 --> 00:02:09,336 because it's bleeding into your dick. 64 00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:10,785 I've been degraded enough.Hey, listen. 65 00:02:10,820 --> 00:02:12,787 I just wanted to tell you, I am taking steps 66 00:02:12,822 --> 00:02:15,204 to ensure that something like this never happens again. 67 00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:17,482 Hell is going to be a safer place for all eternity. 68 00:02:17,516 --> 00:02:19,173 Stay strong -- Gary strong! 69 00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:20,795 We're making bracelets for you. You are? 70 00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:22,659 No, I hate you, you [bleep] piece of shit. 71 00:02:22,694 --> 00:02:24,040 Satan: All right. Keep it moving. 72 00:02:24,074 --> 00:02:26,180 Single file. One gun apiece. 73 00:02:26,215 --> 00:02:28,286 Remember, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun 74 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:29,908 is a good guy with a gun -- That's it. 75 00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:33,187 So, everybody just gets a gun, even the presidential assassins? 76 00:02:33,222 --> 00:02:34,637 Yes.Even the school shooters? 77 00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:37,191 Yes, absolutely.The undiagnosed schizophrenics? 78 00:02:37,226 --> 00:02:38,503 The terrorists?Definitely. All those guys. 79 00:02:38,537 --> 00:02:40,367 Idi Amin and the Nazis?Yes, of course. 80 00:02:40,401 --> 00:02:42,886 And Harpo or Zeppo or whoever the [bleep] this is? 81 00:02:42,921 --> 00:02:44,854 Yeah. The skinheads? 82 00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:45,993 This guy gets a gun. 83 00:02:46,027 --> 00:02:46,994 This guy. This man! 84 00:02:47,028 --> 00:02:48,168 He's a wizard. 85 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,755 Hey, Troy.Hey, how you doing. 86 00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:50,998 No, no, no. What? 87 00:02:51,032 --> 00:02:52,206 Not these dicks. 88 00:02:52,241 --> 00:02:53,897 Oh, definitely these dicks. No. 89 00:02:53,932 --> 00:02:56,486 Do you have the guns to make the bullets go fast, 90 00:02:56,521 --> 00:02:58,350 like -- like pap, pap, pap, pap?! 91 00:02:58,385 --> 00:03:01,871 Of course I do! It's an AR-15 with a bump stock. 92 00:03:01,905 --> 00:03:03,217 Knock yourself out. 93 00:03:03,252 --> 00:03:04,494 How are they even gonna shoot that thing? 94 00:03:04,529 --> 00:03:05,702 Their fingers are stuck together. 95 00:03:05,737 --> 00:03:07,014 They can't even pull the trigger. 96 00:03:07,048 --> 00:03:08,671 My brain has hemispheres. 97 00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:12,019 Who are you to tell me I don't get to have a gun?! 98 00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:15,195 One gun for Gary Bunda. 99 00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,024 Make it loaded. 100 00:03:17,058 --> 00:03:18,508 You, of all people, 101 00:03:18,543 --> 00:03:20,683 you haven't learned one lesson about guns? 102 00:03:20,717 --> 00:03:22,063 Give me a goddamn gun! 103 00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:24,756 'Cause if I had a gun that day when Rainbow Pie shot me, 104 00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:26,516 I would have shot that gun out of his hands, 105 00:03:26,551 --> 00:03:29,105 and I wouldn't be here right now like this. 106 00:03:29,139 --> 00:03:38,563 ♪♪ 107 00:03:38,597 --> 00:03:40,461 This is so wrong.No one's forcing you. 108 00:03:40,496 --> 00:03:42,152 If you don't want a gun, you don't have to have one. 109 00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:43,637 I don't need a gun. 110 00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:46,226 I'm just saying, what is to prevent 111 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,227 some lunatic just from coming-- 112 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,056 whoa! Shane, knock it off! 113 00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:51,610 [ Gunfire ] 114 00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:53,888 All right, everybody grab a gun, protect yourselves. 115 00:03:53,923 --> 00:03:55,062 Hurry up. 116 00:03:55,096 --> 00:03:56,512 [ Gunfire ] 117 00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:01,724 [ Martial music plays ] 118 00:04:01,758 --> 00:04:05,417 ♪♪ 119 00:04:05,452 --> 00:04:06,763 Diiiiiie! 120 00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:09,145 ♪♪ 121 00:04:09,179 --> 00:04:10,733 Come on, come on, come on, come on! 122 00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:11,941 ♪♪ 123 00:04:11,975 --> 00:04:14,564 Perfect. 124 00:04:14,599 --> 00:04:16,428 I will shot you in the -- in the -- 125 00:04:16,463 --> 00:04:19,120 in the dick, Rainbow Pie. 126 00:04:22,227 --> 00:04:24,402 Diarrhea's a pretty bold roast today. 127 00:04:24,436 --> 00:04:25,679 [ Door creaks ] 128 00:04:25,713 --> 00:04:29,510 Well, looky here, Dr. Ashby. We meet again! 129 00:04:29,545 --> 00:04:30,925 We -- We don't know each other, sir. 130 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,274 Not so big without your vacuum tube, are you? 131 00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,828 Please, I'm merely an obstetrician. 132 00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:39,934 I'm down here for fondling my patients, 133 00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:41,004 that's all. 134 00:04:41,039 --> 00:04:43,283 And I'm a Cabbage Patch Kid. 135 00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:46,147 Ah, ah, ah! Hands where I can see 'em, Ashby. 136 00:04:46,182 --> 00:04:48,805 In nine weeks, we develop a conscience. 137 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,291 So, you're looking at my head circumference 138 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,120 and wondering... 139 00:04:53,154 --> 00:04:56,606 "Is he eight weeks, or is he nine?" 140 00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:57,469 [ Pistol cocks ] 141 00:04:57,504 --> 00:05:01,370 Well, do you feel lucky, punk?! 142 00:05:01,404 --> 00:05:03,337 See ya, Claude. 143 00:05:03,372 --> 00:05:05,615 Ow! Agh! Ow. 144 00:05:05,650 --> 00:05:06,961 I told you, 145 00:05:06,996 --> 00:05:11,311 less face and less groin, yet you keep going there. 146 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,968 And I tell you, I'll do what I want to do. 147 00:05:14,003 --> 00:05:16,454 Well, you see this? 148 00:05:16,488 --> 00:05:20,699 You're gonna do less face and less groin, 149 00:05:20,734 --> 00:05:22,874 and you're gonna do it now. 150 00:05:22,908 --> 00:05:25,394 I'll do as much face 151 00:05:25,428 --> 00:05:28,086 and as much groin as I want to. 152 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,468 Dizzay, give me my gun. 153 00:05:30,502 --> 00:05:35,265 You don't tell me what to [bleep] do, Eddie. 154 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,750 Yeah. You tell 'em, Dizzay. 155 00:05:36,784 --> 00:05:38,510 And you don't tell me what to do, either. 156 00:05:38,545 --> 00:05:40,409 You don't tell me what to do!Don't point your gun at me. 157 00:05:40,443 --> 00:05:43,688 Don't tell me what to do!Put the gun in my hand 158 00:05:43,722 --> 00:05:45,103 and let me point it at Troy. 159 00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,346 Would you just give him his gun? 160 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,071 He has a right to protect himself. 161 00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:50,350 Claude: If we're gonna be giving guns to everybody, 162 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:52,110 don't you think we should have some safety training? 163 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:55,182 [ All grumbling ]I need one of those laser dots. 164 00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:57,357 Hey, man, is that my pen?No. 165 00:05:57,391 --> 00:06:00,014 I'm talking about mandatory background checks, 166 00:06:00,049 --> 00:06:01,257 mental health exams. 167 00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:03,949 It's just common sense gun control, guys. 168 00:06:03,984 --> 00:06:05,917 Seriously, man, it's got my teeth marks on it. 169 00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:07,401 It's not your pen, Ben. 170 00:06:07,436 --> 00:06:09,507 Satan, think about it, these guys are all idiots. 171 00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:13,511 Do you want them running around with -- Ahem. 172 00:06:13,545 --> 00:06:15,409 Um, you know what, Ben, 173 00:06:15,444 --> 00:06:17,377 um, yeah, why don't you just take that pen. 174 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,033 Thank you.See that? 175 00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:20,725 It was Ben's pen after all. 176 00:06:20,759 --> 00:06:23,762 And to your point, Gary has made us a video 177 00:06:23,797 --> 00:06:26,075 about gun safety that I'd like you all to see. 178 00:06:26,109 --> 00:06:27,421 Gary, you want to come up? 179 00:06:27,456 --> 00:06:30,942 Can you help me, Dizzay?Yeah, yeah, yeah, buddy. 180 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,707 It's okay to clap... 181 00:06:37,742 --> 00:06:39,053 if you want to clap. 182 00:06:39,088 --> 00:06:40,400 Got it? 183 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,160 Yeah, I think I -- Oh, oh, oh... 184 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:44,093 Come on, buddy. 185 00:06:44,127 --> 00:06:45,439 All right. 186 00:06:45,474 --> 00:06:46,923 Take one step. 187 00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:48,131 There you go. 188 00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,306 [ Groans ] 189 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,726 [ Music plays] 190 00:06:56,761 --> 00:06:59,142 ♪ A rifle in the wrong hands♪ 191 00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:01,075 ♪ Can cause a killing spree 192 00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:03,595 ♪ But a gun in the hand of a righteous man ♪ 193 00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:05,563 ♪ Is what made our country free ♪ 194 00:07:05,597 --> 00:07:07,910 ♪ What if Kennedy had a gun? 195 00:07:07,944 --> 00:07:10,464 ♪ The other guy wouldn't have too much fun ♪ 196 00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:12,811 ♪ It damn sure would have been a different story ♪ 197 00:07:12,846 --> 00:07:15,365 ♪ Of the sixth floor of the book depository ♪ 198 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,575 ♪ If Kennedy had a gun 199 00:07:17,609 --> 00:07:19,266 Light 'em up, gents! 200 00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:21,475 Bap, bap, bap, bap!No one's offended? 201 00:07:21,510 --> 00:07:23,270 ♪ Maybe we'd be in a better place ♪ 202 00:07:23,304 --> 00:07:27,792 ♪ If everyone in the human race could only have a gun ♪ 203 00:07:27,826 --> 00:07:30,588 ♪ Starts with me and Gandhi and Sharon Tate♪ 204 00:07:30,622 --> 00:07:32,797 ♪ And Malcolm X, John Lennon♪I can't be a part of this. 205 00:07:32,831 --> 00:07:34,350 ♪ Abe Lincoln, Tupac, Dian Fossey♪ 206 00:07:34,384 --> 00:07:36,835 ♪ Biggie Smalls, Pancho Villa♪ 207 00:07:39,528 --> 00:07:41,046 What are you doing? 208 00:07:41,081 --> 00:07:44,464 I'm looking for my bubble wrap that youstole! 209 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,638 There are ways to solve conflict without guns. 210 00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:48,295 You stole my bubble wrap! 211 00:07:48,329 --> 00:07:49,779 I have to stand my ground. 212 00:07:49,814 --> 00:07:52,299 I understand that. It's not your fault if... 213 00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,680 If only the rules here 214 00:07:53,714 --> 00:07:56,061 were like they were in Australia, you know? 215 00:07:56,096 --> 00:07:58,616 What's, uh... Australia? 216 00:07:58,650 --> 00:08:01,791 It's a place, Windstorm -- a beautiful place. 217 00:08:01,826 --> 00:08:04,898 They used to have a ton of guns, but then they banned them. 218 00:08:04,932 --> 00:08:08,971 And the shootings stopped. Let me show you. 219 00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:10,524 [ Laughs ] 220 00:08:10,559 --> 00:08:13,872 That's a funny baby horse inside a mama horse. 221 00:08:13,907 --> 00:08:16,979 No, that's a kangaroo and its joey. 222 00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:18,152 Joey? 223 00:08:18,187 --> 00:08:21,328 But she won't throw joey away. 224 00:08:21,362 --> 00:08:22,985 No, Windstorm, never. 225 00:08:23,019 --> 00:08:27,161 They keep their joeys close, like we are right now. 226 00:08:27,196 --> 00:08:28,577 You see, look at us. 227 00:08:28,611 --> 00:08:30,993 When you talk and create a dialogue, 228 00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:32,408 you connect 229 00:08:32,442 --> 00:08:34,893 and surprising things can happen. 230 00:08:34,928 --> 00:08:36,550 Hey... 231 00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:38,172 I've got a surprise for you. 232 00:08:38,207 --> 00:08:42,004 Close your eyes and no peeking, all right, Windstorm? 233 00:08:42,038 --> 00:08:45,179 ♪♪ 234 00:08:45,214 --> 00:08:46,353 Surprise![ Wrap popping ] 235 00:08:46,387 --> 00:08:47,699 [ Screams ] 236 00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:50,115 Argh! 237 00:08:50,150 --> 00:08:52,842 Claude? H-Hey, Claude? 238 00:08:52,877 --> 00:08:53,843 Claude? 239 00:08:53,878 --> 00:08:54,672 Claude! 240 00:08:54,706 --> 00:08:56,363 Claude, wake up. 241 00:08:56,397 --> 00:08:57,916 Rainbow Pie.It's Windstorm, 242 00:08:57,951 --> 00:09:00,574 but I can see how you would make that mistake! 243 00:09:00,609 --> 00:09:02,403 Well, you're a bad guy with a gun. 244 00:09:02,438 --> 00:09:04,267 And I'm a good guy with a gun. 245 00:09:04,302 --> 00:09:08,030 Don't shoot, Gary. I'm a good guy with gun, too! 246 00:09:08,064 --> 00:09:13,104 ♪♪ 247 00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:14,554 Aaaaaaaaaah! 248 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:18,074 [ Screams ] 249 00:09:18,109 --> 00:09:21,388 You killed Windstorm, you son of a bitch! 250 00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:24,149 Say hello to your little friend. 251 00:09:24,184 --> 00:09:25,979 I'm talking about me -- 252 00:09:26,013 --> 00:09:27,567 Rainbow Pie! 253 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,327 [ Screams ] 254 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:36,472 ♪♪ 255 00:09:36,506 --> 00:09:38,819 [ Distorted ] My dick! 256 00:09:38,854 --> 00:09:40,476 My balls! 257 00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:43,168 My dick and balls! 258 00:09:43,203 --> 00:09:51,107 ♪♪ 259 00:09:51,142 --> 00:09:52,315 No! 260 00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:53,351 Wha-- 261 00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:54,904 [ Thunder rumbles ] 262 00:09:54,939 --> 00:09:58,598 ♪♪ 263 00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:03,499 [ Popping ] 264 00:10:03,533 --> 00:10:05,432 [ Growling ] 265 00:10:05,466 --> 00:10:07,607 Morning, ladies. No, no, no, no, no. 266 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:08,815 Don't try to speak. 267 00:10:08,849 --> 00:10:10,920 Some maniac shot you in the larynx. 268 00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:12,266 So what you're gonna do is, you're gonna blow 269 00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:13,647 into those little straws, 270 00:10:13,682 --> 00:10:16,270 and it will point to words on the monitor. 271 00:10:16,305 --> 00:10:18,514 [ Blows ] 272 00:10:18,548 --> 00:10:19,653 Automated voice: Poop. 273 00:10:19,688 --> 00:10:21,448 Poop. You've gotta go poop. 274 00:10:21,482 --> 00:10:23,450 Poop. Poop.Okay, you can just go right in your diaper. 275 00:10:23,484 --> 00:10:24,934 Dog booty. Dog booty. 276 00:10:24,969 --> 00:10:27,972 Listen, I know you have a lot to express in your heart. 277 00:10:28,006 --> 00:10:31,113 Dog booty.But the monitor has a very limited vocabulary. 278 00:10:31,147 --> 00:10:32,632 Dog booty. 279 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,943 Poop. Satan is great. 280 00:10:33,978 --> 00:10:36,325 I know you guys are impaired, 281 00:10:36,359 --> 00:10:39,535 but you're still a very important part of our team. 282 00:10:39,569 --> 00:10:40,709 Poop. Poop.So come on, let's go. 283 00:10:40,743 --> 00:10:43,850 Dog booty.There we go. 284 00:10:43,884 --> 00:10:46,473 Oh. Okay, guys, guys, guys. Don't panic.[ Both groaning ] 285 00:10:46,507 --> 00:10:48,475 I'm not gonna make you do the stairs. 286 00:10:48,509 --> 00:10:51,340 No, I had, uh... I had a ramp put in. 287 00:10:51,374 --> 00:10:54,136 [ Both grunting ] 288 00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:58,588 Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. Poop. 289 00:10:58,623 --> 00:11:00,211 Because of the coffee table! 290 00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:03,076 Poop, poop, poop, poop! 20367

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