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1
00:00:02,726 --> 00:00:05,281
♪ We could tear up this town
2
00:00:05,315 --> 00:00:08,249
Troy: Of all the players here,
we know you're our man.
3
00:00:08,284 --> 00:00:10,286
You are excellent at poker,
Tucker. We know that.
4
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,391
I mean, you're 83rd
in the world, that's no slouch.
5
00:00:12,426 --> 00:00:14,117
Gary: Mnh-mnh.
6
00:00:14,152 --> 00:00:16,085
But you ain't gonna win
the King of Clubs without us.
7
00:00:16,119 --> 00:00:19,295
Now, you boys are talking
about my immortal soul.
8
00:00:19,329 --> 00:00:21,435
That's the biggest chip
I got, son.
9
00:00:21,469 --> 00:00:24,300
And you want me
to go all-in.
10
00:00:24,334 --> 00:00:25,784
Yes.
11
00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:29,477
[ Indistinct conversations ]
12
00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:36,484
I'm sorry, boys,
but...
13
00:00:36,519 --> 00:00:39,280
I'm gonna have to
Pasadena.
14
00:00:39,315 --> 00:00:42,387
We agreed to this!
I bought a burger for you!
15
00:00:42,421 --> 00:00:44,734
You know what? Maybe you're just
gonna have to sweeten
16
00:00:44,768 --> 00:00:46,391
the deal
a little bit for me.
17
00:00:46,425 --> 00:00:47,737
All right, all right.
18
00:00:47,771 --> 00:00:49,808
How sweet
we talking here?
19
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:53,605
I want my own island,
Scarlett Johansson,
20
00:00:53,639 --> 00:00:56,228
the power of invisibility,
21
00:00:56,263 --> 00:00:58,230
and the poker championship,
of course.
22
00:00:58,265 --> 00:01:00,301
How 'bout I throw
in some of them
23
00:01:00,336 --> 00:01:02,303
Wolverine finger blades!
24
00:01:02,338 --> 00:01:03,511
Oh!
No!
25
00:01:03,546 --> 00:01:05,306
I'm sorry for this man,
okay.
26
00:01:05,341 --> 00:01:06,583
So we're gonna go calm down
over there.
27
00:01:06,618 --> 00:01:08,171
We're gonna come back.
28
00:01:08,206 --> 00:01:09,517
I ordered some
sweet potato fries.
29
00:01:09,552 --> 00:01:11,140
Thank you.
30
00:01:11,174 --> 00:01:13,280
First of all, Troy,
it's adamantium bone claws.
31
00:01:13,314 --> 00:01:15,696
And, second of all,
is Satan running a Project X?
32
00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:18,837
No.
You tell me now, because
if I have the mutichin,
33
00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,045
I think I could be
some sort of Balloon Man --
34
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,117
Will you shut up, Gary!
I'm not giving him an island.
35
00:01:23,152 --> 00:01:24,325
I'm not giving him
Scarlett Johansson.
36
00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,328
Well, maybe we could get him
a hammock and Renee Zellweger.
37
00:01:27,363 --> 00:01:28,191
He's bluffing.
38
00:01:28,226 --> 00:01:30,193
That's why they call him
"Lip Licker."
39
00:01:30,228 --> 00:01:31,781
That's his tell.
40
00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:35,371
Ahem.
41
00:01:35,405 --> 00:01:37,856
The deal is null and void.
Thank you for your time.
42
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,340
Good luck to you, sir.Whoa!
43
00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:42,378
♪♪
44
00:01:42,412 --> 00:01:44,207
Whoa, man!
45
00:01:44,242 --> 00:01:45,726
I don't even know
how you sit down
46
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:46,796
with them
big brass balls of yours.
47
00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:48,315
I told you he'd fold.
48
00:01:48,349 --> 00:01:50,869
I mean,
the guy licks his lips.
49
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:52,042
He's a lip licker!
Licking his lips.
50
00:01:52,077 --> 00:01:55,149
Oh, hey. Hey, why don't we go
and we take his soul,
51
00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:56,530
and we bring it to Satan
right now,
52
00:01:56,564 --> 00:01:58,842
like on a platter,
like a Christmas pig.
53
00:01:58,877 --> 00:02:00,223
We can't do that,
Gary.
54
00:02:00,258 --> 00:02:01,362
We got to wait for the guy
to die first.
55
00:02:01,397 --> 00:02:03,364
You don't take souls
from living people.
56
00:02:03,399 --> 00:02:05,504
Christmas pig.But don't worry about it.
57
00:02:05,539 --> 00:02:08,507
Once the guy dies, you'll have
all eternity to screw with him.
58
00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:10,199
Let's celebrate.
59
00:02:10,233 --> 00:02:11,683
You know what--Beer me up, scoochay!
60
00:02:11,717 --> 00:02:13,167
No, I can't do
any of that stuff.
61
00:02:13,202 --> 00:02:14,375
I'm actually gonna
call my sponsor now.
62
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:17,344
I'm getting -- you know, Vegas
is not a great place for me.
63
00:02:17,378 --> 00:02:18,931
Whoosh.
64
00:02:18,966 --> 00:02:20,692
What's that,
'cause I'm whipped?
65
00:02:20,726 --> 00:02:22,349
I'm sponsor-whipped?
66
00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:23,936
I'm an alcoholic, Gary.
67
00:02:23,971 --> 00:02:26,318
I should not be in a place
with alcohol.
68
00:02:26,353 --> 00:02:28,389
It doesn't mean I'm whipped.
I have a disease.
69
00:02:28,424 --> 00:02:29,908
Whoo!
70
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,427
All right, fine,
you want to go out?
71
00:02:31,461 --> 00:02:32,600
Let's go have some fun.
72
00:02:32,635 --> 00:02:34,395
I will have one club soda
73
00:02:34,430 --> 00:02:37,398
while you make a profound
jackass out of yourself.
74
00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:38,537
You're gonna love
watching me drink.
75
00:02:38,572 --> 00:02:39,538
Yeah.
Ha ha.
76
00:02:39,573 --> 00:02:48,720
♪♪
77
00:02:48,754 --> 00:02:58,350
♪♪
78
00:02:58,385 --> 00:03:07,532
♪♪
79
00:03:07,566 --> 00:03:09,844
Oh.
80
00:03:09,879 --> 00:03:11,260
Hey, it's 11:30.
81
00:03:11,294 --> 00:03:12,675
What times does
the poker thing start?
82
00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:14,608
You got the contract?
83
00:03:14,642 --> 00:03:16,403
What -- What do you mean?
I thought that you had it.
84
00:03:16,437 --> 00:03:17,956
Oh, where the...
85
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:21,235
Okay, I got it right here.I got it right here.
86
00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:22,754
Oh, good, we got two --
we're covered.
87
00:03:22,788 --> 00:03:23,720
What do you mean
we got two?
88
00:03:23,755 --> 00:03:25,619
Why do we have two?
89
00:03:25,653 --> 00:03:27,828
Gary, who the hell is
Gail Dougan?
90
00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:29,726
Uh...[ Knock on door ]
91
00:03:29,761 --> 00:03:31,452
Who is it?
92
00:03:31,487 --> 00:03:34,628
It's Carl and Gail Dougan --
from last night!
93
00:03:37,493 --> 00:03:39,978
I can make you the best
poker player in the world.
94
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,773
Yeah.
Yeah, I did it for a guy.
95
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:42,946
I did it for a guy.
96
00:03:42,981 --> 00:03:44,396
That would be great!
97
00:03:44,431 --> 00:03:45,915
What do we do?
What do I have to do?
98
00:03:45,949 --> 00:03:47,917
I'll do anything.Sign on the dotted line.
99
00:03:47,951 --> 00:03:49,470
It's that easy.Okay.
100
00:03:49,505 --> 00:03:51,472
Who else wants to be
a poker player?
101
00:03:51,507 --> 00:03:53,371
I can't believe you gave them
the same deal.
102
00:03:53,405 --> 00:03:55,373
Two people can't win
the same poker tournament.
103
00:03:55,407 --> 00:03:56,995
Listen, you're making
a big deal out of this, okay?
104
00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,997
We can just tear up
the contract.
105
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,309
Uh, hold on here,
fellas.
106
00:04:00,343 --> 00:04:02,000
Gail already
gave you her soul.
107
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:02,656
No, no, no,
we're not idiots.
108
00:04:02,690 --> 00:04:04,313
We know not to take the soul
109
00:04:04,347 --> 00:04:06,280
from a living person,
right, Gary?
110
00:04:08,351 --> 00:04:09,870
Okay, now,
here's the thing.
111
00:04:09,904 --> 00:04:11,458
According to this, what
I'm really gonna need from you
112
00:04:11,492 --> 00:04:13,356
is I'm gonna need
your soul as a deposit.
113
00:04:13,391 --> 00:04:14,806
That's good enough for me.Okay, well.
114
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,808
Let me just do the incantation
and we'll be ready to go.
115
00:04:16,842 --> 00:04:17,981
Okay.
116
00:04:18,016 --> 00:04:24,678
[ Speaking incantation ]
117
00:04:24,712 --> 00:04:27,991
[ Screams ]
118
00:04:28,026 --> 00:04:31,719
Oh, no!
I've made a horrible mistake!
119
00:04:31,754 --> 00:04:34,377
It's hot!
It's hot!
120
00:04:41,384 --> 00:04:43,317
She's gonna be --
she's gonna be okay.
121
00:04:43,352 --> 00:04:44,698
You just get her some
orange juice and cookies.
122
00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:46,493
You want to go up to the room,
maybe lay down?
123
00:04:46,527 --> 00:04:48,322
You know what you need
is a shot,
124
00:04:48,357 --> 00:04:49,979
just a little
to power through it,
125
00:04:50,013 --> 00:04:52,499
and then get some
hair of the dogs.
126
00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:54,466
Ruff ruff ruff!
127
00:04:54,501 --> 00:04:55,467
What did I tell you?!
128
00:04:55,502 --> 00:04:57,676
We don't take the souls
from living people!
129
00:04:57,711 --> 00:04:59,333
You were wasted.
130
00:04:59,368 --> 00:05:01,439
Okay, it was a YOLO
kind of night.
131
00:05:01,473 --> 00:05:06,582
Listen, if you guys want to
just undo this whole thing,
132
00:05:06,616 --> 00:05:09,412
I wouldn't be opposed, okay,
because, honestly,
133
00:05:09,447 --> 00:05:13,416
Gail has been
real moody, bitey.
134
00:05:13,451 --> 00:05:15,142
That's normal for
someone who's hung over.
135
00:05:15,176 --> 00:05:17,386
The light hasn't left
her eyes...
136
00:05:17,420 --> 00:05:19,077
at all.
137
00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:21,355
[ Telephone rings ]Soul peeling.
138
00:05:21,390 --> 00:05:23,564
It's Troy.
We sent you somebody last night.
139
00:05:23,599 --> 00:05:25,497
Her name is Gail,
she's got blonde hair,
140
00:05:25,532 --> 00:05:27,430
I don't know, like, 5'2"
or something.
141
00:05:27,465 --> 00:05:28,914
She's probably
screaming a lot.
142
00:05:28,949 --> 00:05:30,399
Yeah,
I think I got her.
143
00:05:30,433 --> 00:05:32,090
[ Screaming ]
144
00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:33,919
She's already peeled,
though.
145
00:05:33,954 --> 00:05:36,405
Well, unpeel her.What do you mean peeled?
146
00:05:36,439 --> 00:05:37,578
You can have the jacket
I made out of her.
147
00:05:37,613 --> 00:05:39,028
You made a jacket
out of her?
148
00:05:39,062 --> 00:05:40,063
Jacket?
You know what?
149
00:05:40,098 --> 00:05:41,582
I've got a few
extra pieces here.
150
00:05:41,617 --> 00:05:43,929
I could maybe sew her
into a scarf.
151
00:05:43,964 --> 00:05:46,449
Forget it, Dumb-dumb.
152
00:05:46,484 --> 00:05:48,555
Where did I
put your rectum?
153
00:05:48,589 --> 00:05:50,557
♪♪
154
00:05:50,591 --> 00:05:52,628
I've got good news for you
and bad news.
155
00:05:52,662 --> 00:05:54,802
Now, the bad news is you're not
gonna win the tournament.
156
00:05:54,837 --> 00:05:57,943
But the good news is you're
gonna get to keep your soul.
157
00:05:57,978 --> 00:05:59,635
Turns out we're full up.
158
00:05:59,669 --> 00:06:01,602
Yeah, there's no room
at the inn.
159
00:06:01,637 --> 00:06:03,604
So, you know, we'll just rip
this little contract up
160
00:06:03,639 --> 00:06:05,503
and you can be free
and on your way.
161
00:06:05,537 --> 00:06:06,814
Nah.
162
00:06:06,849 --> 00:06:07,953
Sorry, fellas.
163
00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:09,438
I'm standing pat.
164
00:06:11,025 --> 00:06:12,544
He's not
licking his lips.
165
00:06:12,579 --> 00:06:14,615
I don't think that
he's bluffing.
166
00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:17,100
What if I gave you that island
you wanted
167
00:06:17,135 --> 00:06:19,171
and Scarlett Johansson...
168
00:06:19,206 --> 00:06:20,966
and the power
of invisibility?
169
00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:23,555
Like we made
Scarlett Johansson.
170
00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:24,453
Scarlett?
171
00:06:24,487 --> 00:06:26,765
Scarlett, put those
free nuts down.
172
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,491
Come on over.
173
00:06:28,526 --> 00:06:30,459
Whoa, Scarlett,
what are you doing --
174
00:06:30,493 --> 00:06:32,978
taking your shirt off
in a restaurant?
175
00:06:33,013 --> 00:06:36,948
Wowie, wowie, wow!
176
00:06:36,982 --> 00:06:38,777
Pleasure meet ya,
Miss Johansson.
177
00:06:38,812 --> 00:06:41,124
Scar-Jo.
Yeah.
178
00:06:41,159 --> 00:06:45,094
Uh, I'm very happy
you're gonna be my wife.
179
00:06:45,128 --> 00:06:47,579
[ High-pitched ] No, I'm sorry,
mister, your hands are wet, no.
180
00:06:47,614 --> 00:06:50,237
No, I...
181
00:06:50,271 --> 00:06:52,550
God dang it!
There's nobody there!
182
00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:54,034
Am I licking my lips?
Do I have a tell?
183
00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:55,691
I'm starting to think
184
00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:56,933
you guys can't even deliver
on the tournament.
185
00:06:56,968 --> 00:06:58,625
You're absolutely right.
186
00:06:58,659 --> 00:07:00,489
Because we're incompetent.We're stupid.
187
00:07:00,523 --> 00:07:02,007
If I were you, I wouldn't even
be in business with us,
188
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:05,010
so just come on back over here,
we'll rip this contract up,
189
00:07:05,045 --> 00:07:06,529
and then
we'll call it a day.
190
00:07:06,564 --> 00:07:08,945
Honey, you're starting
to scare me.
191
00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:11,569
[ Overlapping voices ]
I just want to feel something.
192
00:07:11,603 --> 00:07:13,674
Could I get another
Bloody Mary over here, please?
193
00:07:13,709 --> 00:07:14,675
Double vodka.
194
00:07:14,710 --> 00:07:16,919
Maybe you need to ease off
on those, Troy.
195
00:07:16,953 --> 00:07:19,991
You can't tell him what he can
or cannot or how much to drink.
196
00:07:20,025 --> 00:07:22,200
Who is this bozo,
Troy?
197
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:23,719
I'm not
supposed to say.
198
00:07:23,753 --> 00:07:25,237
I'm his sponsor.
Ah.
199
00:07:25,272 --> 00:07:26,653
What are you doing here,
Gerald?
200
00:07:26,687 --> 00:07:29,690
I'm here to win
the poker tournament, Troy.
201
00:07:29,725 --> 00:07:31,485
Remember?
202
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,523
No.
203
00:07:34,557 --> 00:07:38,216
[ Crying ]
I know
it's been tough for you
204
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:41,253
since you died and went to hell,
but...
205
00:07:41,288 --> 00:07:43,532
remember, take things
one day at a time.
206
00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:45,844
I just can't
control myself!
207
00:07:45,879 --> 00:07:51,816
That's the first step,
admitting you have a problem.
208
00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:56,096
Me, I got two problems --
alcohol and gambling.
209
00:07:57,718 --> 00:07:59,133
You're a terrible sponsor,
Gerald.
210
00:07:59,168 --> 00:08:02,033
Vegas, baby!
[ Laughs ]
211
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:04,207
Kind of funny.
212
00:08:04,242 --> 00:08:06,934
What are we
gonna do now?
213
00:08:06,969 --> 00:08:10,662
I have a terrible idea, and
I'm not gonna execute it well.
214
00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:16,323
Whit: Welcome back to Las Vegas,
Nevada, and the 19th annual
215
00:08:16,357 --> 00:08:19,084
King of Clubs poker
championship.
216
00:08:19,119 --> 00:08:20,534
And, Jimmy,
then there were three.
217
00:08:20,569 --> 00:08:21,949
Jimmy: Well, choose your
dark horse, Whit.
218
00:08:21,984 --> 00:08:25,194
We've got two unranked amateurs
and Lip Licker Roney.
219
00:08:25,228 --> 00:08:26,678
A capable player,
certainly,
220
00:08:26,713 --> 00:08:28,335
but no one's choice
to win this thing.
221
00:08:28,369 --> 00:08:30,061
No way.
222
00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:35,825
Is this, honestly, the best
dealer they could get?
223
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:37,827
This dude is dealing like
a blind man with boxing gloves.
224
00:08:37,862 --> 00:08:39,104
What's up?
225
00:08:39,139 --> 00:08:40,658
Let's see how
he handles this.
226
00:08:40,692 --> 00:08:42,625
I don't have a good feeling
about it.
227
00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:44,869
Ah. Burning the nine.
Burning the nine.
228
00:08:44,903 --> 00:08:46,940
Go, Gail!
229
00:08:46,974 --> 00:08:47,734
[ Shrieks ]
230
00:08:47,768 --> 00:08:49,977
Ugh.
231
00:08:50,012 --> 00:08:53,118
[ Snarling ]
232
00:08:53,153 --> 00:08:55,638
Whit:
Am I seeing this right?
233
00:08:55,673 --> 00:08:58,089
Each player
has two aces...
234
00:08:58,123 --> 00:09:00,125
and there's three aces
on the flop.
235
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,713
There's something
very wrong here.
236
00:09:01,748 --> 00:09:04,095
There's another ace
on the turn.
237
00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:05,130
How many aces
are in this deck?
238
00:09:05,165 --> 00:09:06,960
Go all in.
239
00:09:06,994 --> 00:09:09,272
You ain't supposed to tell us
when to bet.
240
00:09:09,307 --> 00:09:11,689
Go all in now.
You're going all in.
241
00:09:11,723 --> 00:09:14,795
Going all in. Everyone
unanimously goes all in.
242
00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:16,763
Oh, my God, it's a tie.What kind of game is this?
243
00:09:16,797 --> 00:09:18,661
This is incredible.
This is historic.
244
00:09:18,696 --> 00:09:20,111
Everybody wins!
245
00:09:20,145 --> 00:09:22,285
Everybody -- no!
Troy?
246
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,632
Troy,
cause a distraction!
247
00:09:23,666 --> 00:09:26,186
Troy, whip your dick out!
Troy!
248
00:09:30,846 --> 00:09:33,158
Ohh.
249
00:09:33,193 --> 00:09:34,953
It's my secret stash.
250
00:09:34,988 --> 00:09:36,852
[ Chuckles ]
251
00:09:36,886 --> 00:09:39,682
This is kind of funny,
if you think about it.
252
00:09:39,717 --> 00:09:41,615
You think you can
come into this casino,
253
00:09:41,650 --> 00:09:42,927
and you can
cheat at cards?
254
00:09:42,961 --> 00:09:45,101
This casino is still proudly
Mob-owned.
255
00:09:45,136 --> 00:09:46,171
Blow me, Geppetto.
256
00:09:46,206 --> 00:09:47,414
You can't [bleep] with me.
257
00:09:47,448 --> 00:09:49,658
I'm Satan's
right-hand man.
258
00:09:49,692 --> 00:09:51,867
Oh,
so you're a righty then.
259
00:09:51,901 --> 00:09:54,939
Oh. Oh!
260
00:09:54,973 --> 00:09:56,078
Oh, shit!
261
00:09:56,112 --> 00:09:58,252
Oh!
Oh, no!
262
00:09:58,287 --> 00:10:00,841
Wait a second.
263
00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:03,672
Do both.
It doesn't hurt to be safe.
264
00:10:03,706 --> 00:10:04,327
Oh!
265
00:10:04,362 --> 00:10:06,364
My beautiful hands!
266
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:08,987
Oh, I'll never play
the banjo again!
267
00:10:09,022 --> 00:10:11,956
Oh! Oh!
268
00:10:11,990 --> 00:10:14,199
Wait until Satan hears
about this.
269
00:10:14,234 --> 00:10:16,408
He's gonna get you!
270
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,446
Shit!
271
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:25,383
♪♪
272
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:26,660
Troy!
273
00:10:26,695 --> 00:10:28,386
Were you in there
the whole time?
274
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,215
Yeah, I was under a bunch
of other coins.
275
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,838
I couldn't see anything.
276
00:10:31,872 --> 00:10:33,736
You know, these damn machines
don't pay off for shit.
277
00:10:33,771 --> 00:10:35,876
Oh, man.
I spent some time in a urinal,
278
00:10:35,911 --> 00:10:37,878
and then a hobo
pissed all over me.
279
00:10:37,913 --> 00:10:39,880
And then he fished me out,
didn't even wash me off.
280
00:10:39,915 --> 00:10:42,883
He just put me in a machine,
and I still smell it.
281
00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:45,230
Kenny Loggins was here
about a month ago.
282
00:10:45,265 --> 00:10:46,887
Oh.
I heard him sing.
283
00:10:46,922 --> 00:10:48,820
Peggy, come on.
What, are you nuts?
284
00:10:48,855 --> 00:10:49,856
Just...
285
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:51,202
Oh, stop, stop, stop!
286
00:10:51,236 --> 00:10:52,686
Oh, I'm getting dizzy.
287
00:10:52,721 --> 00:10:55,896
[ Retching ]
288
00:10:55,931 --> 00:10:59,003
Please don't
give me to a baby.
289
00:10:59,037 --> 00:11:00,314
I can't do that again.
290
00:11:00,349 --> 00:11:02,316
No, no, no, no, no!
No, no!
291
00:11:02,351 --> 00:11:06,320
No, no, no!
292
00:11:06,355 --> 00:11:10,083
No! No. No!
293
00:11:10,117 --> 00:11:11,429
I hate Vegas!
20782
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