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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,657 --> 00:00:05,074 ♪ I want to be your best boy, uh-huh ♪ 2 00:00:05,108 --> 00:00:08,732 ♪ I want to be your toy, uh-huh ♪ 3 00:00:08,767 --> 00:00:12,046 ♪ Do you think I can take every inch ♪[ Rapid tapping ] 4 00:00:12,081 --> 00:00:15,360 ♪ Of your love inside of me? 5 00:00:15,394 --> 00:00:17,707 Yes, Gary? 6 00:00:17,741 --> 00:00:20,158 Hey, Benji, I got this e-mail 7 00:00:20,192 --> 00:00:22,091 saying they want to change my summon word. 8 00:00:22,125 --> 00:00:24,300 Did you get that e-mail?It's a phishing scam. 9 00:00:24,334 --> 00:00:25,784 Didn't you get the e-mail warning about it? 10 00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:27,751 Yeah, I got that e-mail, and it was about fishing, 11 00:00:27,786 --> 00:00:30,168 but they misspelled fishing. 12 00:00:30,202 --> 00:00:32,066 So I thought maybe that was from the real hackers 13 00:00:32,101 --> 00:00:33,826 and they're playing 4-D chess. 14 00:00:33,861 --> 00:00:35,690 Gary, if they have your summon word, 15 00:00:35,725 --> 00:00:38,072 they can summon you at will. 16 00:00:38,107 --> 00:00:40,592 Well, I already clicked it, and nothing happened. 17 00:00:40,626 --> 00:00:41,627 Guess I can click it again. 18 00:00:41,662 --> 00:00:44,458 No! Ohh-h-h-h! 19 00:00:44,492 --> 00:00:45,700 [ Electricity crackles ] 20 00:00:45,735 --> 00:00:47,530 Ohh! Ohh! 21 00:00:47,564 --> 00:00:49,463 This is not good. 22 00:00:49,497 --> 00:00:51,465 I'm gonna confess, I didn't read the entire e-mail. 23 00:00:51,499 --> 00:00:53,570 Gary, I told you not to click on it, and now we're trapped. 24 00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:56,470 Looks like our phishing trip landed us a couple of big ones. 25 00:00:56,504 --> 00:00:58,403 No, man! Dumb baby! 26 00:00:58,437 --> 00:01:00,129 [ Ghost moaning ] 27 00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:02,338 [ Beeping ] 28 00:01:02,372 --> 00:01:04,823 [ Ghost moaning ] 29 00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:08,309 Our intern set up a phishing scam 30 00:01:08,344 --> 00:01:09,828 to try to get a demon's summon word. 31 00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,519 It looked like a legitimate e-mail. 32 00:01:11,554 --> 00:01:13,245 We even put up wards on all the walls 33 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:14,798 to make sure that none of them could escape. 34 00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:17,525 Here's a door. Oh! Ow! Oh! Shit! 35 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,873 We've blocked off all the exits so you can't escape, demon! 36 00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:24,843 Yes, I'm coming! Just hold on a damn second! 37 00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:27,121 Don't tell them we're here. 38 00:01:27,156 --> 00:01:30,435 By the power of Christ, we compel you, foul beast! 39 00:01:30,469 --> 00:01:31,712 Okay, you go cause a distraction, 40 00:01:31,746 --> 00:01:33,162 and I'm gonna clean off these wards. 41 00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:35,129 Why do I got to do the distraction? 42 00:01:35,164 --> 00:01:37,683 'Cause I'm really good at getting blood off walls. 43 00:01:37,718 --> 00:01:38,857 How in the world do you think I juggled 44 00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,790 being a popular local weatherman 45 00:01:40,824 --> 00:01:42,792 while raping and eating all those kids? 46 00:01:42,826 --> 00:01:45,657 You're a monster.Yes, but I'm a winner. 47 00:01:45,691 --> 00:01:48,349 And unlike you, I'm not some dipshit 48 00:01:48,384 --> 00:01:49,799 who got us in this situation. 49 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:52,664 So just do your job, because you can't be trusted 50 00:01:52,698 --> 00:01:54,804 with anything important ever! 51 00:01:54,838 --> 00:01:57,186 I'm not a dipshit, Benji. 52 00:01:57,220 --> 00:01:58,773 I'm a charismatic person with tiny hands, 53 00:01:58,808 --> 00:02:01,500 so people are drawn to me. 54 00:02:01,535 --> 00:02:04,469 Now, you go and you lick those walls 55 00:02:04,503 --> 00:02:08,542 like the dog that you are while I go be a distraction, 56 00:02:08,576 --> 00:02:12,649 which this whole operation hinges upon. 57 00:02:12,684 --> 00:02:13,961 Come up and meet your fate! 58 00:02:13,995 --> 00:02:15,756 I'm coming! 59 00:02:18,517 --> 00:02:20,554 [ Zipper opens ] 60 00:02:20,588 --> 00:02:22,142 [ Groaning ] 61 00:02:30,391 --> 00:02:35,845 ♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy, I'm a Yankee Doodle Boy ♪ 62 00:02:35,879 --> 00:02:38,606 ♪ A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam ♪ 63 00:02:38,641 --> 00:02:41,437 ♪ Born on the Fourth of July ♪ 64 00:02:41,471 --> 00:02:43,370 [ Continues indistinctly ] 65 00:02:43,404 --> 00:02:45,268 Ahh. 66 00:02:45,303 --> 00:02:46,925 Okay, Gary, let's go! We can escape! 67 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:49,514 ♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy 68 00:02:49,548 --> 00:02:50,860 Gary, come on! 69 00:02:50,894 --> 00:02:52,965 ♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle Boy 70 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,692 ♪ Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony ♪ 71 00:02:55,727 --> 00:02:58,868 ♪ I am that Yankee Doodle, who is that Yankee Doodle? ♪ 72 00:02:58,902 --> 00:03:03,735 ♪ I am that Yankee Doodle Booooooy ♪ 73 00:03:03,769 --> 00:03:07,014 Come now! We got to go! It's closing! 74 00:03:07,048 --> 00:03:08,533 [ Laughs ] 75 00:03:08,567 --> 00:03:09,568 ♪ I'm a Yankee Doodle... 76 00:03:09,603 --> 00:03:12,364 Ah, screw it! 77 00:03:12,399 --> 00:03:15,574 Look like ol' Gary is back. 78 00:03:15,609 --> 00:03:17,921 Lexi: We finally had a real demon, 79 00:03:17,956 --> 00:03:20,786 and he was eager to tell his story. 80 00:03:20,821 --> 00:03:22,823 How did you get into hell? 81 00:03:22,857 --> 00:03:25,757 Let's just say that trouble had a way of finding me. 82 00:03:25,791 --> 00:03:27,345 Can I take that back? 83 00:03:27,379 --> 00:03:28,691 Is that okay? To take back? Yes, please. 84 00:03:28,725 --> 00:03:30,279 Bblll-bbbblll-bblll-aaa. 85 00:03:30,313 --> 00:03:31,901 [ Gibberish ] 86 00:03:36,871 --> 00:03:38,666 [ Exhales sharply ] 87 00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:41,290 [ Deep voice ] Let's just say trouble has a way of finding me. 88 00:03:41,324 --> 00:03:45,328 You don't seem too imposing for a demon. Am I...? 89 00:03:45,363 --> 00:03:47,951 You don't seem too charismatic for a host. 90 00:03:47,986 --> 00:03:50,954 How does he have a show and I don't? 91 00:03:50,989 --> 00:03:52,093 Well, first of all, I don't think you've sampled 92 00:03:52,128 --> 00:03:54,372 enough of our material to make that judgment call. 93 00:03:54,406 --> 00:03:57,478 This is your show.It's "Specter Inspectors." 94 00:03:57,513 --> 00:03:59,031 This is your show. 95 00:04:00,516 --> 00:04:07,868 Man: ♪ Gary Bunda: Demon Killer, Gary Bunda: Demon Killer ♪ 96 00:04:07,902 --> 00:04:10,077 [ Laughs menacingly ] 97 00:04:10,111 --> 00:04:11,803 Lexi: There hadn't been many reports 98 00:04:11,837 --> 00:04:14,633 that this four-star restaurant was haunted... 99 00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:15,945 [ Whirring and chirping ] 100 00:04:15,979 --> 00:04:17,843 ...and I'm not getting any readings, Gary. 101 00:04:17,878 --> 00:04:19,431 You're not reading that machine correctly, 102 00:04:19,466 --> 00:04:20,881 'cause I smell demons. 103 00:04:20,915 --> 00:04:23,608 They must have turned tail when Gary came around. 104 00:04:23,642 --> 00:04:26,542 Shh. Stay right here. Stay back. 105 00:04:26,576 --> 00:04:28,060 Shh. Shh. 106 00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:32,617 Clear! 107 00:04:32,651 --> 00:04:34,308 Come out, demon! 108 00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:36,103 Come out with your horns up! Whoa! 109 00:04:36,137 --> 00:04:37,829 TV food celebrity Rocco DiSpirito, 110 00:04:37,863 --> 00:04:39,382 what are you doing here? 111 00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:42,316 You hungry?Yeah, of course I'm hungry. 112 00:04:42,351 --> 00:04:44,629 Dude, I made something real special for you guys -- 113 00:04:44,663 --> 00:04:47,321 raw vegan sunchoke dip.Mmm. 114 00:04:47,356 --> 00:04:49,392 I like how the tortillas are shaped like little demon horns. 115 00:04:49,427 --> 00:04:51,567 Yeah. I call them demon horns-o-plenty. 116 00:04:51,601 --> 00:04:53,120 Little more paprika. 117 00:04:53,154 --> 00:04:55,743 If my horns were as delicious as this, 118 00:04:55,778 --> 00:04:57,676 people would hunt me like a rhino. 119 00:04:57,711 --> 00:04:59,126 Tell me, you got a recipe that our viewers can check out? 120 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,543 Viewers? No one watches this show. 121 00:05:02,578 --> 00:05:04,062 And look at all the shine on his forehead. 122 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:05,753 Shame on you, makeup department. 123 00:05:05,788 --> 00:05:07,548 I wouldn't let this happen on my show. 124 00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:10,344 And it should be my show because I actually have TV experience -- 125 00:05:10,379 --> 00:05:12,726 11 years as Charlotte's top weatherman. 126 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,004 Does Satan have any idea he's doing this? 127 00:05:15,038 --> 00:05:18,697 You mean you haven't seen Gary's brilliant decoy? 128 00:05:18,732 --> 00:05:22,563 Hi. Sorry, I can't do that. I'm working all day in my cube. 129 00:05:22,598 --> 00:05:24,358 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 130 00:05:24,393 --> 00:05:25,290 State-of-the-art. 131 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,119 And who the hell's pulling on the ropes? 132 00:05:27,154 --> 00:05:30,399 I'm working all day in my cube. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 133 00:05:30,433 --> 00:05:31,572 [ Clears throat ] 134 00:05:31,607 --> 00:05:34,368 Gary asked me to do this until his show goes on hiatus. 135 00:05:34,403 --> 00:05:36,370 And, ah, where are you supposed to be right now? 136 00:05:36,405 --> 00:05:37,371 Hot liquids. 137 00:05:37,406 --> 00:05:39,925 But don't worry. He made a decoy for me, too. 138 00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:43,170 It's the seven circles of hell, 139 00:05:43,204 --> 00:05:44,896 and these peppers are little demons. 140 00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:46,760 I know. It's hot like it's hell. 141 00:05:46,794 --> 00:05:50,557 But honestly, the jalapeños, I feel, is a little tropey. 142 00:05:50,591 --> 00:05:52,421 What are you doing? That's my favorite gun! 143 00:05:52,455 --> 00:05:55,113 The name of the show is "Gary Bunda: Demon Killer." 144 00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:57,736 What if -- spitballing here -- 145 00:05:57,771 --> 00:06:01,947 we change the name of the show to "Gary Bunda: Killer Eats"? 146 00:06:01,982 --> 00:06:03,121 We're not changing the name of the show. 147 00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:04,812 Okay, what about if we just change 148 00:06:04,847 --> 00:06:06,193 the pronunciation of the show, right? 149 00:06:06,227 --> 00:06:10,128 So it's like, "Gary Bunda: Demon Killer." 150 00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:12,199 Like, it's killer that --Gary. 151 00:06:12,233 --> 00:06:13,234 Like, it's awesome 152 00:06:13,269 --> 00:06:15,823 that he's a demon and that he's eating stuff. 153 00:06:15,858 --> 00:06:18,447 You said you were gonna kill a different demon every week. 154 00:06:18,481 --> 00:06:20,483 Okay, well, you go find me one, then. 155 00:06:20,518 --> 00:06:22,623 Because we've been to every single rib-sticking 156 00:06:22,658 --> 00:06:24,625 down-home kitchen across this great country, 157 00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:26,903 and we have yet to find a demon for me to kill, 158 00:06:26,938 --> 00:06:29,078 but we have found some excellent dishes 159 00:06:29,112 --> 00:06:31,149 made by home chefs that are hungry... Okay. 160 00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:32,909 ...to share their food with the entire country. 161 00:06:32,944 --> 00:06:34,773 Okay, what about that one we trapped you with? 162 00:06:34,808 --> 00:06:36,534 The child molester. 163 00:06:36,568 --> 00:06:39,157 Well, he's a lot more than just a child molester. 164 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,228 Really?Yes, he's also a cannibal. 165 00:06:41,262 --> 00:06:43,610 He did bad things! 166 00:06:43,644 --> 00:06:46,440 But he's still one of my best friends, okay? 167 00:06:46,475 --> 00:06:51,825 So I will not even think of harming a hair on his head. 168 00:06:51,859 --> 00:06:55,069 Unless it leads to some form of second season. 169 00:06:55,104 --> 00:06:57,451 [ Telephone rings ]Benji. 170 00:06:57,486 --> 00:06:59,695 Gary: Hey, buddy. How you doing, Benji? 171 00:06:59,729 --> 00:07:01,973 What's the deal, man? You left me at the hellmouth. 172 00:07:02,007 --> 00:07:03,630 [ Scoffs ] Spare me. 173 00:07:03,664 --> 00:07:05,977 Your makeup team is blowing it, by the way. 174 00:07:06,011 --> 00:07:08,082 Not that I watch your show. I mean, who does? 175 00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:10,809 175,000 people watch my show, 176 00:07:10,844 --> 00:07:13,536 Benji, as a matter of fact, on the Haunt Network, alright? 177 00:07:13,571 --> 00:07:15,124 Which is channel 147. 178 00:07:15,158 --> 00:07:16,505 Yeah, well, I just used to be 179 00:07:16,539 --> 00:07:17,954 the number-one weatherman in Charlotte 180 00:07:17,989 --> 00:07:20,612 for 11 years straight before the FBI raided my basement. 181 00:07:20,647 --> 00:07:22,062 But what do I know? 182 00:07:22,096 --> 00:07:24,720 Anyway, what do you want? I'm really busy. 183 00:07:24,754 --> 00:07:29,828 We are doing a super-fun, sinful fettuccine episode, 184 00:07:29,863 --> 00:07:34,799 and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come co-host. 185 00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:39,251 I don't think I could get out of work for that long. 186 00:07:39,286 --> 00:07:40,736 Yeah, I know, and that's why I went ahead 187 00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:42,254 and I whipped you up a decoy. 188 00:07:42,289 --> 00:07:45,154 I bet it will get a lot more work done than you do. 189 00:07:45,188 --> 00:07:47,708 [ Both laughing ] 190 00:07:47,743 --> 00:07:50,573 I'm just busting your balls. [ Laughs ] 191 00:07:50,608 --> 00:07:52,057 Alright, I'll see you. 192 00:07:52,092 --> 00:07:53,507 [ Cellphone beeps ] 193 00:07:55,716 --> 00:07:58,719 Man: ♪ Demon Killer [ Laughs menacingly ] 194 00:07:58,754 --> 00:08:00,100 GARY: I smell sulfur. 195 00:08:00,134 --> 00:08:02,585 It's either a Denver omelette or a demon. 196 00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:03,828 Let's go. 197 00:08:03,862 --> 00:08:04,794 [ Guns cock ] 198 00:08:04,829 --> 00:08:06,658 Oh! Hey, Gary. 199 00:08:06,693 --> 00:08:09,661 I'm just here with "Gunshow's" Kevin Gillespie 200 00:08:09,696 --> 00:08:13,631 making Devil Went Down to Georgia Deviled Eggs. 201 00:08:13,665 --> 00:08:15,736 That's redundant, you child-molesting demon! 202 00:08:15,771 --> 00:08:17,220 Hit it! 203 00:08:18,843 --> 00:08:20,845 Gary? 204 00:08:20,879 --> 00:08:22,536 Kill him. 205 00:08:24,814 --> 00:08:26,644 Ohh! [ Groans ] 206 00:08:26,678 --> 00:08:29,750 Shoot him in the head! You've got more bullets. 207 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:33,720 Kill him. 208 00:08:35,066 --> 00:08:38,276 What?! Wh-- What happened? 209 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,899 You did it! You killed him, Gary! 210 00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:42,591 But I shot him in the foot! 211 00:08:42,625 --> 00:08:44,662 You shot Benji with a silver bullet 212 00:08:44,696 --> 00:08:46,595 dipped in wolf urine blessed by the pope. 213 00:08:46,629 --> 00:08:48,804 You said they were demon-killing bullets. 214 00:08:48,838 --> 00:08:51,669 I made that shit up!Well, how does it make you feel? 215 00:08:51,703 --> 00:08:53,049 You know, to kill your best friend? 216 00:08:53,084 --> 00:08:54,568 I don't want to be filmed right now! 217 00:08:54,603 --> 00:08:56,915 I don't want to be filmed! Okay? Alright? 218 00:08:56,950 --> 00:08:59,780 I just -- I need -- I need like five minutes, okay? 219 00:08:59,815 --> 00:09:02,300 I think I might have killed my best friend. 220 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,095 Take all the time you need. 221 00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:05,786 [ Quietly ] Get him. 222 00:09:05,821 --> 00:09:07,754 Does anybody want to try the eggs?Go away, Kevin! 223 00:09:07,788 --> 00:09:11,930 I'm so sorry, Kevin Gillespie of "Gunshow." 224 00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:14,139 Were those the hero eggs?Yeah. 225 00:09:17,695 --> 00:09:20,180 I need some air. I need some air, please! 226 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,908 [ Mutters ] 227 00:09:27,843 --> 00:09:30,742 Hello? 228 00:09:30,777 --> 00:09:32,123 Hello? 229 00:09:32,157 --> 00:09:34,850 Where is everybody?Hello, there. 230 00:09:34,884 --> 00:09:37,404 I like to molest young boys. 231 00:09:37,438 --> 00:09:38,992 Hello, there. 232 00:09:39,026 --> 00:09:40,614 I like to molest young... 233 00:09:40,649 --> 00:09:45,101 Benji was so many things to so many people -- 234 00:09:45,136 --> 00:09:47,932 a thoughtful helper to his co-workers, 235 00:09:47,966 --> 00:09:50,831 beloved weatherman to his fans. 236 00:09:50,866 --> 00:09:54,041 He didn't deserve to be slain in his prime. 237 00:09:54,076 --> 00:09:55,664 I'd say he's in a better place, 238 00:09:55,698 --> 00:09:56,699 but I'm not sure where the hell you go from here. 239 00:09:56,734 --> 00:10:00,116 It was an accident. I didn't want to do it. 240 00:10:00,151 --> 00:10:01,670 I did it for the TV. 241 00:10:01,704 --> 00:10:03,119 Get out of here! 242 00:10:03,154 --> 00:10:04,673 You're not welcome here! 243 00:10:04,707 --> 00:10:07,779 Can I just go and say goodbye one last time? 244 00:10:07,814 --> 00:10:09,160 Bought a big wall 245 00:10:09,194 --> 00:10:10,644 'cause I thought you'd be killing more demons, 246 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:13,129 you know, between duck sliders. 247 00:10:17,478 --> 00:10:18,894 [ Sniffs ] 248 00:10:18,928 --> 00:10:20,689 It should have been me, Benji, 249 00:10:20,723 --> 00:10:24,313 instead of you, you perfect, perfect man. 250 00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:25,901 It should have been me! 251 00:10:27,247 --> 00:10:28,973 It should have been me! 252 00:10:30,284 --> 00:10:32,321 This wall doesn't seem very secure. 253 00:10:34,219 --> 00:10:36,808 Noooooo! 254 00:10:36,843 --> 00:10:39,708 Noooooooooo! 255 00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:44,057 Gary! 256 00:10:44,091 --> 00:10:46,369 Ga-- No! No! 257 00:10:46,404 --> 00:10:48,233 When somebody comes to hell, 258 00:10:48,268 --> 00:10:49,994 you think they're gonna be here forever. 259 00:10:50,028 --> 00:10:50,995 [ Sobs ] 260 00:10:51,029 --> 00:10:52,997 You see this? 261 00:10:53,031 --> 00:10:55,275 Never be afraid to show your emotions, even if they're fake. 262 00:10:55,309 --> 00:10:56,690 You taught me that. 263 00:10:56,725 --> 00:10:57,933 That's how you win a pair of these! 264 00:10:57,967 --> 00:11:02,385 Best Short-form Supernatural Reality Show Unscripted, baby! 265 00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:04,491 Gary: I don't really understand how I don't win an Emmy 266 00:11:04,525 --> 00:11:05,423 for my own damn show. 267 00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,805 If these walls could talk? Right, Satan? 268 00:11:07,839 --> 00:11:10,739 Or more like if this shelf could shut up. Am I right? 269 00:11:10,773 --> 00:11:12,464 [ Laughing ]I'm a man, not a shelf. 20047

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