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1
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:05,806
**
2
00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:09,277
Big n wide!
3
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,812
Need you down
At publishing asap.
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,814
Having a book drive.
5
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:18,619
Shane, leo,
You're booked, too.
6
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,089
Aw, shit.
7
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:24,158
**
8
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:34,168
Behold.
"The bad book" is back.
9
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:37,838
So, we're trotting out
The necronomicon again.
10
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:38,906
No, claude.
11
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:42,676
This is the new-cronomicon.
12
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:46,247
What I did is I spiced up
The ancient text a little bit,
13
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,383
And, I, uh -- I added
A teenage-romance angle,
14
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,984
And then I just sprinkled in
15
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,421
Some werewolves,
Some vampires. It's --
16
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,756
So, is it available
On ipad and kindle?
17
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,091
No, just flesh.
18
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,959
Well, if you send me a file,
I can convert --
19
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,994
Why don't you convert this,
Claude?
20
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,730
[ screams ]
21
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,965
[ screams ]
22
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,700
That's what I'm talking about!
Damn straight!
23
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,570
Now partner up, demons!
You're going topside in 20!
24
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,472
Claude, you and me?
25
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:12,940
Uh, sorry, gar.
26
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:14,875
I'm already
Paired up with...
27
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,110
Eddie,
Do you have a partner?
28
00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:17,145
No.
29
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,479
I'm already paired up
With eddie.
30
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,647
We're together.
31
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,682
Oh, uh, looks like modok
32
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:22,683
Doesn't have a partner.
33
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:23,684
Modok!
34
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:26,620
Modok!
35
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,189
Modok!
36
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,957
Gary, why don't you, uh, partner
Up with modok, all right?
37
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,525
But don't look him
In the eye.
38
00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:32,660
It's a sign of aggression.
39
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:33,927
Modok can't read!
40
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,196
You wanted some diversity
Down here.
41
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,830
I brought
Some of these cave people.
42
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,199
We wanted women.
43
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:39,367
It's not his fault
He died a million years
44
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,001
Before jesus christ
Was born.
45
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,803
How's that sun god
Working out for you, modok?
46
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,505
Modok! Modok!
47
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,973
I said how's that sun --
48
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,541
[ laughing ] He can't understand
A thing I'm saying.
49
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,210
He's great.
[ grunts ]
50
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:51,412
And, gentlemen,
Uh, one last thing --
51
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,381
Do not open the book.
52
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:56,950
'cause once you start
Reading it, you cannot stop.
53
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,453
It literally sucks you in.
54
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:01,522
Everybody grab a box!
55
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:02,923
Head to the hell mouth!
56
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,360
**
57
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,004
Shh!
58
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,842
[ retching ]
59
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,278
Shh, shh!
Shh, shh!
60
00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:28,148
[ growling ]
61
00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:32,853
[ groans ]
62
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:33,854
Sorry.
63
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:34,888
I'm sorry.
64
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:36,190
I'm so sorry.
65
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,892
Oh, I'm afraid
Of heights.
66
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,328
Hey, this is
A really high shelf.
67
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:41,962
I found what I needed.
Thank you.
68
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,232
[ doorbell rings ]
69
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,034
[ moaning ]
70
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:49,036
No, thanks.
71
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:51,138
Hi. We're from the church
Of latter day saints,
72
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,106
And I wanted to see
If you'd be interested
73
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,008
In the mormon bible.
74
00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:56,910
Is that hair?
75
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,713
Y-yeah. That's a scrotum.
I'm so sorry.
76
00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,014
He's a fresh copy.
77
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,316
[ grunts ]
78
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:03,617
Modok!
79
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,420
Modok! Modok!
Ma'am,
I need you to hear me out!
80
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:07,421
Modok!
81
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,756
Modok, please,
Get your hands off
82
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,324
The azalea bushes,
All right?
83
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,826
Listen, I just need you
Not to do anything.
84
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,228
I need you
Not to say anything.
85
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,796
I need you to take
That necktie off your head
86
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,331
And put it around your neck
Like a mormon, all right?
87
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:18,732
Let's do this.
We got more places to hit.
88
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,668
Modok book read.
89
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:21,902
No! No, no, no.
90
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,638
Modok, it's bad.
Book is bad, okay?
91
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,374
Modok no read book.
92
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:28,008
That's right.
Now you're getting it.
93
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:33,080
Gary read book.
Gary read book.
94
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,515
No.
Read book, gary.
95
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,250
No. Specifically,
We were told --
96
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:39,520
Read book! Read book!
Read book!
97
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,222
No! [ sobs ]
Stop it!
98
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,292
Stop hitting me,
All right?
99
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:48,028
I'll read one.
I'll read one page.
100
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,632
"Meet anna francelica,
101
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:55,569
A girl on the verge
Of her 18th birthday,
102
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:59,172
When teenage girls
Are made illegal,
103
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,709
And love is on the run."
104
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,911
That's a hell of a hook.
105
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:06,380
Hey, bro, big red --
106
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:09,182
He don't like
You reading the book, man.
107
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,552
Yeah,
We're not gonna read it.
108
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,020
We might skim it.
109
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:20,328
Gary: "The sign loomed over
Her lithe frame.
110
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,930
It read 'banishment island
Straight ahead'
111
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,598
In bold, block letters.
112
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,199
Anna francelica sighed.
113
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,136
She knew today,
She was to turn 18 --
114
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:34,808
The day that she'd become
An enemy of the state."
115
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:37,445
Whoa!
116
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,313
Clarissa mean.
117
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:43,951
Jax mate with anna,
No clarissa.
118
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,820
I know,
But what are you gonna do?
119
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,188
Jax is a vampire.
120
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,591
Anna's father
Hunts vampires.
121
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,494
We learned that
In chapter six.
122
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,862
What happen next?
123
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:55,863
No.
124
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,065
What happen next,
Gary?
125
00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,232
No, modok.
126
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,701
We have been over this.
127
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,702
What happen next?
128
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:02,636
No!
129
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:03,804
What happen next?
130
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,138
I will not be pushed again.
131
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,608
What happen next?
132
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,010
What happen next?!
133
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:14,348
What happen next?!
What happen next?!
134
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:15,716
I do not appreciate
Your tone.
135
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,451
What happen next?!
136
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,286
No, modok,
I need you to calm down
137
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,188
Before we can have
A conversation.
138
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:23,457
What happen next?!
139
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:25,526
Modok, modok --
What happen next?!
140
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,795
Okay, you know what?
141
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,563
All right. Okay.
142
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:35,469
We will read up until
The fish monster would come out,
143
00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:38,539
Okay,
And that's it, all right?
144
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,140
[ laughs ]
That makes you happy.
145
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,742
I want to read it, too,
Anyway.
146
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,076
I'm telling you, man,
147
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,546
You have no idea
What's inside me right now.
148
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:48,649
"The rise
Of wolfgang rage-kiss."
149
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,584
Who wolfgang rage-kiss?
150
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,585
I don't know.
151
00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:52,753
[ screams ]
152
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:55,723
[ both screaming ]
153
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,529
"Jax and anna laid together
In the straw,
154
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,930
Their naked limbs intertwined."
155
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,265
What are they talking about?
You lie together.
156
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,501
You don't lay together.
Who proofed this thing?
157
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:10,070
Well, I took "Lay" to mean
They both got laid, you know?
158
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,238
No man is gonna read this.
159
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:12,940
It's just gonna be a bunch
160
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:15,175
Of middle-aged housewives
In hell now.
[ glasses clinking ]
161
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,777
And that's a bad thing?
162
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,879
He told me I wouldn't be able
To put it down.
163
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,147
I'm literally
Putting it down.
164
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,683
[ ringtone plays ]
165
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:25,486
Yeah?
166
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:26,520
Gary: claude,
Thank god I caught you.
167
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:28,055
I got sucked into the book --
168
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:29,857
I don't care.
[ cellphone beeps ]
169
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,091
Claude, claude?
170
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:35,629
[ both screaming ]
171
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,569
All right! Okay, okay!
172
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,971
We all work
For the same people.
173
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:44,972
Here.
Take a look at my badge.
174
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,508
[ retractable belt zipping ]
175
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,280
Oh, why did you read
The book?
176
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:56,850
Didn't they explicitly state
Not to read the book?
177
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,185
Oh!
178
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,453
Oh, so we're in
Necro-merica right now?
179
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:00,688
Mm-hmm.
180
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,155
So that's where
The teenage girls are sent
181
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,624
When they are made illegal?
182
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:04,625
Yes.
183
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,293
What the...
184
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:07,661
Came as fast as I--
185
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,096
[ grunts ]
186
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:12,099
[ grunting ]
187
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,335
Modok.
188
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,270
Modok, modok!
189
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,806
That's jax longstraw!
190
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,909
That's jax longstraw!
He's the hero.
191
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,043
Jax?
192
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,679
Yeah, it's jax.
193
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,681
No.
194
00:07:27,715 --> 00:07:30,450
[ cries out ]
195
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:33,554
Jax was supposed to
Meet anna right here tonight
196
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:36,289
At the apex of the two moons
Of gondor.
197
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,791
When is that exactly?
198
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,026
Anna: [ echoing ] Jax?
199
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,093
Jax, where are you?
200
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,729
Aw, shit.
201
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:44,131
[ knock on door ]
Woman:
Vomit and vomit and vomit.
202
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,298
It's not one of my books.
203
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,534
Man: baptist church officials
204
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,135
Have organized
A book barbecue
205
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,971
To deal with the offensive,
Mysterious flesh books.
206
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:54,642
And if you've got any rap cds
That talks about butts
207
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:58,178
Or copies of judy blume's
"Superfudge,"
208
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,548
We'll burn those for you,
As well.
209
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,882
[ knocking continues ]
210
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:04,417
We just wasted our time.
Help me make the bed.
211
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,520
My god!
Gary's in one of those books!
212
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:07,788
[ knocking continues ]
213
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,390
Stop knocking!
We're still cleaning!
214
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,695
Jax, are you there?
215
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:18,298
[ deep voice ] Hey.
216
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,068
Who are you?
Where's jax?
217
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:24,538
My name's
Max steelcastle.
218
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:27,207
I'm the new boy
In school.
219
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:31,144
This is my friend,
Modok...Furcastle.
220
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,281
[ normal voice ] And he's gonna
Put that log down right now.
221
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:37,585
Right, modok?
Put that log down, modok.
222
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,621
[ deep voice ]
He's also new at school.
223
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,355
W-we come
From different families.
224
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:46,359
You know,
We're not a package deal.
225
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:48,962
I take care of him
'cause he's deaf.
226
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,831
[ ringtone plays ]
Sun god!
227
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,800
It's just a phone, modok!
Sun god!
228
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,768
It's just a phone.
229
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:57,470
[ cellphone beeps ]
Ha! Screw your ass.
[ laughs ]
230
00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:59,807
Why are you wearing
Jax's letter jacket?
231
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:05,212
[ deep voice ] Uh, because I was
Chilly and he's a cool guy.
232
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,815
And, also,
The estrogoths abducted him.
233
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,549
We must go save him
From the estrogoths.
234
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,585
No, no, no. I'm sorry.
I meant to say that he's dead.
235
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:12,886
He's dead.
His body's over there.
236
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,088
-jax!
-no, no, no, no. Wait, no.
237
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:16,223
Wait. Anna, no.
238
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,557
He's under leaves.
239
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,593
He's -- he's asleep
With the flower babies.
240
00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:24,497
But he said
Right before he died that, uh,
241
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,566
I'm supposed to
Make out with you.
242
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,335
But the prophesy said
That we would be together for--
243
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,569
I know, I know.
244
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:32,139
That's the old prophesy,
And it's dumb.
245
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,340
I just don't know.
246
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,408
I have
All these young-adult,
247
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:38,045
Yet still teenage,
Mixed-up emotions.
248
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:42,149
Hey,
It's gonna be all right.
249
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:45,252
What happens next in the book
That I should do?
250
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,820
It's ruined at this point.
251
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,989
[ ringtone plays ]
252
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,357
What is it, claude?
253
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,526
They're burning the books, gary,
With you in them!
254
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,362
Big queso: eddie, over here!
255
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,998
I'm in the pile,
And I got gary in me!
256
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,868
[ screaming ]
257
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:01,802
It's raining gas!
258
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,470
The estrogoths
Have found me!
259
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,305
No, no, no, no.
They're just southern baptists.
260
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,373
They're a little weird.
261
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,875
[ screaming ]
262
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:11,011
[ both grunting ]
263
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:15,548
Allow me to read a snippet
264
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:20,253
From this defiled,
Deviant skin-back.
265
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,856
Someone's about to read
Chapter 13.
266
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:25,926
We can all get out
On wolfgang's back.
267
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,094
Anna, grab my hand!
268
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,430
Oh, sure. Everyone wants to
Be with me now.
269
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:34,234
Where were you
In seventh grade?
270
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:37,370
"The rise of wolfgang --"
271
00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:39,873
[ screaming ]
272
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:42,843
[ all screaming ]
273
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,350
Anna. Huh!
274
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,152
Are you okay, baby?
275
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,253
[ laughs ]
276
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,387
Oh, my god!
277
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,356
It's a demon! Get him!
278
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,827
[ dramatic music playing ]
279
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,740
[ screaming ]
18769
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