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>> what part of "I want those
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Testicles crushed" do you not
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Understand?
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And I want it done with an
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Anvil this time.
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What do you mean you can't find
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An anvil?
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They have them in cartoons all
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The time.
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Just get it done, or I'm gonna
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Crush your nuts with an anvil.
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And I'll be able to get that
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Signed off by the big guy.
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Don't you worry.
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By the way, how's your wife,
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Man?
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Yeah, she's gorgeous.
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Tig ol' bitties.
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Hold on one sec.
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Gary, can you give me one
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Minute?
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>> I just need to get one minute
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From you.
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>> give me one minute, because
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This is a very important call,
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Okay?
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I've been having these weird
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Dreams recently.
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Uh-huh.
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No, it's like I'm in my high
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School, but it's -- it is my
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High school, and that's the
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Weird thing, 'cause it's --
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Okay, you know what?
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I'm gonna run.
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Okay. Talk to you later.
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Bye.
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>> [ sighs ]
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>> what can I do for you?
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I'm very, very busy.
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>> okay.
42
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Well, you know how satan says
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That I need to ramp it up a bit?
44
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Well, you follow hockey, right?
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>> no.
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>> check it out.
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Look at this.
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Whaa!
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Yeah! [ chuckles ]
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>> "Hail satin"?
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You mean, like, the material?
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>> I take this to the hockey
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Playoffs.
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Camera cuts to me, right?
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And I'm like [grunting]
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Showing the sign, right?
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Got my shirt off, right?
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Then I blow my brains out with a
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Shotgun.
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Start a whole chain of people
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Thinking that that is a cool
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Thing to do.
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>> gary...Please.
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Um, don't take this personally.
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But nobody wants to imitate a
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Doughy, ugly...
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Dumb, 33-year-old...Loser.
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It's just not aspirational.
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>> well, the thing is, is that I
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Don't think I can return this
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Wig.
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>> gary, you know what dazzles?
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Broadway...Musical.
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>> you know what we could do is
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We could talk to those "Rent"
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Guys, 'cause they're down here,
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Right?
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'cause they died of aids.
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I didn't really want to say it
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Out loud, 'cause aids will come
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Find you.
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>> aids won't...Find you if you
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Say it.
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>> it's like "Nightmare on
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Elm street."
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>> no.
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>> finds you in your dreams.
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Aids comes.
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>> what are you talking about?
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>> can't go to sleep.
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>> it's a disease.
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>> oh, okay.
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I thought it was, like, a body
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Insect.
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>> you're a [bleep] Moron, and
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You're annoying me right now,
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Okay?
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>> okay.
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>> what we got to do is we got
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To focus.
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Now, I've got somebody --
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>> [ exhales deeply ]
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I'm focusing.
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>> listen.
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We got the hookup to a
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Super-powerful hollywood
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Superstar --
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Miss tiffany van traskell.
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And you and her are gonna write,
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Produce, and stage a play
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Honoring our dark lord and
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Master.
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>> so, you mean to tell me that
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This...
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"Musical" is gonna open up on...
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* broadwa-a-a-a-a-y?
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>> no. Didn't say that.
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>> oh!
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I think it's working big-time!
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Getting soft down there!
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It tingles!
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[ chuckles ]
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>> intestillax.
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>> it tingles!
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And you know what?
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It did.
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I am from the method school.
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I took eight intestillax
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Suppositories, because acting is
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Not pretend.
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The viewer has to --
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Josh?
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>> believe.
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>> believe!
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That's right.
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Yes, in the back.
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>> were you ever in any movies?
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>> that wasn't really my trip.
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My breasts did appear in
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"Aerobicide 2," though I was
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Told that they would be framed
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Out.
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Look -- my point is...
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If makeup is applying fake blood
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To your breasts and your
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Buttocks, you can bet your
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Bottom dollar that both of those
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Will appear in the shot.
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[ school bell rings ]
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Oh, okay. There's the bell.
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Listen. Josh?
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Uh, could you stay back, please?
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I'd like to talk to you about
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Something.
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[ breathing heavily ]
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[ exhales sharply ]
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[ sighs ]
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>> boogety-boogety!
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>> I saw you crouching in the
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Back.
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>> I suck at this!
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>> I knew this day would come.
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When I sold my soul for a career
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In basic cable, satan promised
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Me a big break.
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>> yeah.
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>> for 12 years, people have
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Yelled "Getting soft down
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There!" at me.
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>> [ chuckles ]
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Well, it's closer to 20, but --
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>> okay, I'm not complaining.
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It's just that I know that I can
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Do so much more than ads for
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Stool softener.
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>> and that's why you have been
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Chosen to take satan's life
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Story to the stage.
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[ both laugh maniacally ]
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>> * demon, I am dreamin'
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>> [ chuckling ] Yeah.
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You know -- you know --
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Actually, you know, I-I always
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Thought that, like, demon and
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Reamin' were a good rhyme
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Scheme.
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>> okay.
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>> do you know -- getting, like,
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Reamed?
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Like, up your ass?
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You know, when you get reamed by
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Three demons -- when it's a
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Triple-team reamin'?
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* I'm screamin' from my triple
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Demon reamin' *
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It's -- it's a thing.
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I just get reamed a lot in hell,
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So it's -- I guess "Write what
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You know."
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That's what they say.
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[ piano playing upbeat music ]
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>> * details
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* the devil in the details
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[ whip cracking ]
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>> * you over there, make that
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Flame hotter *
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>> * make that man have sex with
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His daughter *
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* details
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>> * oh, hell
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Is a heaven to me *
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* yes, hell is a heaven
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To me-e-e-e-e-e-e *
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>> that's good.
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That's really good.
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>> you looked really amazing in
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That red leotard today.
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>> baby, I don't think I'm gonna
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Be able to sneak out tonight.
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I've -- I've got that
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Science-fair project, and mom
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And dad keep asking me about all
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That jewelry you bought me.
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>> fine. You know what?
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Just stay home.
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Be a little boy.
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Because what I need is a man.
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>> okay. A-all right. Later.
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>> oh, you know what?
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Just [bleep] Go!
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>> o-okay.
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>> now!
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>> I am. I-I'm going.
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>> wa--
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No, wait!
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Do you need a ride?
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Wait, no!
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I think I'm pregnant!
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What the [bleep] Are you looking
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At?!
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>> [ breathing heavily ]
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[ door opens ]
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>> hey. Uh, rehearsal, huh?
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I'm there.
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I'm just like, "Where am I?
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Am I in hell right now," you
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Know?
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But brie, I-I think she's good.
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But when it comes to getting
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Burned by lava --
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I know you like brie, but --
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[ both moaning ]
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>> ow!
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>> * I, I command the love of
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All the ladies I see *
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* girls, girls don't get enough
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Of my strength and ability *
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>> come on, man!
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>> * like an eagle flying high,
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Plucking fish from the sea *
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>> get out of here!
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>> * they're mine for the
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Taking, their hearts I'll be
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Breaking when they trust and
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Lust for me *
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>> claude.
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>> gary.
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>> my man.
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Hug it out with me.
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>> all right.
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>> [ chuckles ] For real.
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Aww.
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Yeah. "Devil in the details."
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Premieres friday night.
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* when the mood is right
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>> satan is pumped.
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>> yeah!
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>> think you can comp us some
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Tickets?
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>> absolutely, yeah.
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You want, uh, plus-one?
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Plus-two?
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>> plus-202.
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>> [ coughs ]
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I'm not really sure if the media
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Room can hold all of that.
287
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,280
Do you think you guys can, like,
288
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,048
Double it up?
289
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:02,616
>> what do you mean -- like, two
290
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:03,083
To a seat?
291
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,618
What does that -- how would that
292
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:04,952
Work?
293
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,019
>> it's easy, you know?
294
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,287
You sit on top of each other.
295
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:08,756
>> are -- what the [bleep] Are
296
00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:09,690
You talking about?
297
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,725
>> may I ask what this is?
298
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,594
>> it's my new musical.
299
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:16,697
>> tiffany, I-I cannot allow you
300
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:17,965
To stage a satanic-themed
301
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,533
Musical in a -- in a public
302
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:20,200
High school.
303
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:20,868
I-I'm sorry.
304
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,202
>> you don't like what I have to
305
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:22,870
Say, jerry?
306
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:23,937
>> what's wrong with doing
307
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:24,572
"Grease"?
308
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:25,539
People like "Grease."
309
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:26,740
>> oh, I have had it with you
310
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,742
Noncreatives!
311
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,210
I am out of here, and you can
312
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,179
Suspend me with pay.
313
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,322
>> okay. Let's do that.
314
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,657
[ whistle blows ]
315
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:44,224
>> okay!
316
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,059
Team, uh...
317
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,061
Little change to the playbook.
318
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,731
I am coach lindsay.
319
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,566
And, uh, I am now your drama
320
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:53,801
Teacher.
321
00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:56,904
Now, this friday, we are doing
322
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:57,571
"Grease."
323
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:58,972
So, for homework, y'all need to
324
00:08:58,972 --> 00:08:59,940
Memorize this dvd.
325
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,308
>> how are we supposed to know
326
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:02,843
Who's playing what character?
327
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,177
>> good eye. You're travolta.
328
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,112
You're the slut.
329
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:06,747
You're the mousy one turns into
330
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:07,681
A slut at the end.
331
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,082
The rest of y'all just work it
332
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,183
Out amongst yourselves.
333
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,752
Yeah? Teamwork! Come on, now!
334
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:12,653
[ whistle blows ]
335
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:15,589
[ doo-wop music playing ]
336
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,362
>> what key are we doing
337
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:23,864
"Beauty school drop-out" in?
338
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,198
>> sweet pea, the only key I'm
339
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,834
Concerned with is the key to the
340
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:27,868
Equipment cage.
341
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,637
Uh, sing and dance around if
342
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,605
You want, but, y'all, I've got a
343
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:33,306
Huddle-up with my wife at 9:00,
344
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,975
So we -- y'all don't have to do
345
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,209
The whole thing tonight.
346
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,277
Just do part of it.
347
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,278
Do the fun part.
348
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,680
>> okay, this is what we're
349
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:40,113
Gonna do.
350
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,348
You're gonna stall them, all
351
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:41,882
Right?
352
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,116
Make them think we're doing
353
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,117
"Grease" or something.
354
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,653
And then -- oh, we're gonna show
355
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,954
Them a show unlike they ain't
356
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:47,821
Never seen before!
357
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:48,856
>> is that a shotgun?
358
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:49,790
>> yeah. All right.
359
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,024
Now, in act three, after the
360
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,359
Rumble thing at the boardwalk...
361
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,026
>> mm-hmm.
362
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,294
>> ...You're gonna take this
363
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,629
Shotgun, you're gonna say,
364
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:56,797
"Satan, it's all for you!"
365
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:57,965
Then you're gonna blow your
366
00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:58,666
Brains out!
367
00:09:58,666 --> 00:09:59,867
>> I-I'm not gonna do that.
368
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:00,734
>> yes, you are.
369
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,002
>> no, that's not in "Grease."
370
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,303
>> you don't want to do this?
371
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,238
>> no. Who are you?
372
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,139
>> [ groans ]
373
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,975
>> action! "Grease" -- go!
374
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:08,976
[ whistle blows ]
375
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,878
[ upbeat music playing ]
376
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,822
[ feedback ]
377
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:22,690
>> [ groans ]
378
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:23,724
All right. Um --
379
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,025
Hey, tina. How are you?
380
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,226
Just get out of here.
381
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,260
Get out of here!
382
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,163
Uh, satan, this is all for you!
383
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,431
Heavy metal rules!
384
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,366
[ gunshot ]
385
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:35,936
Yeah.
386
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,671
Yeah, you guys missed a whale of
387
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:38,105
A show.
388
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:39,106
>> is that claude?
389
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,173
Tell him I said hi!
390
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,174
>> shh! Shut up!
391
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,009
Shut up! Cook!
392
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,343
I wish you could've been there
393
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,912
For the thing that you made me
394
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,346
Write, choreograph, and rehearse
395
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:47,214
For three weeks.
396
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:48,849
>> sorry, guy. Dinner ran late.
397
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:49,850
>> I just wanted --
398
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:50,884
>> oh!
399
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,352
[ laughing ] God!
400
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:52,920
Oh!
401
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:53,854
>> nacho?
402
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,022
>> yeah. Yeah.
403
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,089
These are great seats.
404
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,357
How'd you know I love hockey?
405
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,759
>> hey, and check this out.
406
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:02,195
>> hmm?
407
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,196
[ gunshot ]
408
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,098
[ crowd screaming ]
409
00:11:05,132 --> 00:11:07,434
>> "Hail stan"?
410
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,970
>> god, you smell awful.
411
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,404
Cooking you.
412
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,973
Who's gonna eat you?
413
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:14,908
That's my question.
414
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,877
It's gonna [bleep] Be me, isn't
415
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,211
It?
416
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,780
"Here, gary.
417
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,049
Have a whole bunch of eddie,
418
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,884
Covered in stinky, old jalapeño
419
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,385
Mayonnaise and big chunks of
420
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,087
Black bread from the viking
421
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:27,487
Era."
422
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,389
[ spit creaks ]
423
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,824
Mmm. Actually, you know what?
424
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:31,992
Now that I'm, like, talking
425
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,093
About it -- with a good,
426
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,094
Whole-grain mustard.
427
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:34,828
[ explosion ]
428
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,063
I knew we should've put some
429
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,898
Rosemary underneath your tits.
26024
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