All language subtitles for Casi.el.Paraiso.aka.Quite.Like.Paradise.2024.1080p.MAX.WEB-DL.x264.DDP5.1

- What is it?
- Hello, my love.

Don't touch me.
What's wrong with you?

- It's late, my son is inside.
- I brought money.

How much?

Don't worry about that.
Just let me in.

Wait here.
Give me a minute.

BARI, ITALY

Amedeo...

Listen, my love.
Listen.

Please stay outside for a bit.
Everything is fine, okay?

Hey, don't touch me.

Amedeo,

Mom has to go inside
with this man.

We need the money.

You stay here, okay?

ACAPULCO, MEXICO

1.5 million followers?

Why does it say "count"?

Because I am a count.

Count of what?

Lucania, Italy.

Holy shit.

I'm passionate about
the environment.

How long are you staying here?
We're here for the weekend.

It's just that...

it's my birthday.

My dad let us borrow the yacht
for the day.

Happy birthday, miss...

Tere. Teresa.

Tere Rondia.

Happy birthday, Tere.

Thanks, uh...

Count.

We have three pools,
a jacuzzi...

- My dad had it custom built.
- He's a big shot politician.

You can't leave without seeing it.
How can we get you to come?

No one treats their guests
better than us Mexicans.

- Of course we're leaving.
- Please excuse my auntie.

Her medication ran out
mid-journey.

Dude, please.
Come to my party tonight.

Come on.

I'll text you later.

How lucky am I?
I didn't want to go out today,

but then I told myself,
"Tere, I mean, it's your birthday."

Fortis fortuna adiuvat.

- What?
- Fortune favors the bold.

Cool phrase.

#PartyingWithCountConti

Amedeo!

What are you doing there?

Nothing.

Come in.

So handsome.

Come on.
One drink won't kill you.

- My mom will kill me.
- Drink.

See how good it is?

And the second one
is even better.

My goodness, Marietta.
You're so beautiful.

Do you fancy me?

Amedeo, what are you scared of?

You're gorgeous.

Hey, Guida.
Have you seen Amedeo?

Marietta.

Did you enjoy it?

That's enough.

Here you go.
It'll be our little secret.

No!

Damn you!

Mom...

He's just a child!

Mom!

HI, UGO!

ARE YOU COMING?

SHALL I SEND YOU THE JET?

I'LL PICK YOU UP
AT THE AIRPORT

You didn't have to pick me up.

I told you, no one treats their guests
better than us Mexicans.

We booked you a suite
at the finest hotel in Mexico.

I'm overwhelmed.
I wouldn't want to impose.

No, of course not.
It's a pleasure.

Right this way, please.

The Sofitel Reforma
is the best hotel in Mexico.

I hope our suite lives up
to your standards, Count.

Anything you need, day or night,
we're at your service.

- Yeah, thanks, bye.
- Excuse me.

By the way, there's a party
at my house tonight.

If you get some rest,
would you like to come?

I'm not sure.
It was a very long trip.

Look, I know it sounds boring,
but it's something for my dad.

The president is coming.

Could be a networking opportunity
for your foundation, right?

GLASSES FROM THE ROMANOV COLLECTION
NEVER USED

Mr. Secretary.

We have a problem.

It's only a few protesters.

It should be pretty easy
to get rid of them.

We could call Garduño,
the National Guard...

Don't be an idiot.

Plant them a drunkard and have them
arrested for public drinking.

Get this under control
before he arrives.

Thank you, Arias.
I owe you one.

Did you get me the cover?

- I want my picture with the prez.
- I was able to get Arias.

He dictates the front page
and if he's coming,

everyone else will follow.

Who else from the party
is coming?

All members of the party
from both chambers.

What about the Indian?

I still believe it wasn't necessary
to invite him, Secretary.

If you mean Justino Nava,
he also RSVP'd.

Keep your friends close
and your enemies closer, Mario.

That's something you've made
very clear, Secretary.

We haven't come this far
by playing nice, have we?

Daddy!
Count Conti is here.

I'll be right there, sweetie.

Sir, we don't have a Count Conti
on the guest list.

He's an Italian aristocrat
who's friends with Teresa.

- We'll do a background check.
- No, don't waste your time.

Focus on the president.

You heard the man.

Ugo, these are my parents,
Alonso and Alicia Rondia.

Your Excellency.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Thank you for inviting me,
Secretary.

The pleasure is ours, Count.
Your visit honors this, your home.

My home?

Just a Mexican expression.

Look, my wine glasses.

My most prized possession
and my greatest pride.

I bought them at an auction
in Paris.

They once belonged to
Tsar Nikolai Romanov.

He never used them,
never had the chance.

Got killed before.

Damned Bolsheviks.

We used to have communists,
now we have environmentalists.

I imagine you're familiar
with this book, Count.

Certainly.
The Almanach Nobilis.

- May I?
- Please do.

THE ROYAL FAMILY CONTI
AND ITS LINEAGE

Beautiful coat of arms.
Magnificent.

Thank you.

Ugo Conti, Count.

Born in 1990, Florence.

Son of Maria Ricci
and Umberto Conti,

Counts of Lucania.

- May I?
- Certainly.

Let me show you.

- You'll have to get closer.
- Sorry.

That's better.

Francisco Rondia y Landa,

grand nephew of the Marquis
of Sierra Hermosa, Galicia.

My ancestor!

My great grand uncle,
thrice removed.

We also have noble blood
in our veins, Count.

So, what do you do?

What's your line of work, Count?

Please call me Ugo, Secretary.

I don't want my title to eclipse
my environmental endeavors.

The Ugo Conti Foundation
works towards a better planet,

for it belongs to every species
that inhabits it.

Very commendable, Count.
Congratulations.

All my resources are devoted
to ecological management.

Mainly... lawyers.

Fucking lawyers.

Is he here?

Where is he?

The president is not coming.

He asked me to come here
and let you know in person.

Don't shoot the messenger,
you and I are old friends.

Is he getting cold feet?

Look, Alonso.

This isn't about you personally,

it's about the way
the public perceives you.

So...

how does the public
perceive me?

It doesn't.

The few that know you,
they don't like you.

I mean, you saw the mess
we had to clean up out there.

The president wants you
as his pick,

but you can't win the governor's race
with those numbers.

The name Rondia doesn't carry
any weight in Oaxaca.

It's not happening today,
my friend.

The prick could've called me.

You have to walk
before you run.

Wait until you've been
formally nominated,

and then you can celebrate.

You still have time.

Just go out there,
appease your detractors,

increase your visibility,

buy some headlines,
take pictures with celebrities.

What else can I say?
You know the drill.

Yes, it's been confirmed.

The president's office called.
He's not coming, sir.

I have to pander to the rabble
to be taken seriously, it seems.

Mr. Secretary.

We're ready for the announcement.

We never did specify
what kind of announcement.

We strongly implied
it was about the nomination.

Inviting the president
was seen as a big hint.

Any ideas?

Listen up.

I have to go out there
and face my guests.

Fix it.

What the hell happened?

- The president isn't coming.
- What?

This place is packed
with VIPs and reporters!

We will be ridiculed.
Let's see.

Let's announce something
environmental, uh...

Pochutla!

No, that stuff isn't yet
on the table.

Did you look him up?

Who?

The so-called Count Conti.

The Ugo Conti Foundation
for environmental preservation.

Sorry, Frida.

I have to focus, please.

Don't let them see you upset.

The fucking Indian had the gall
to show his face.

- Good evening.
- Welcome.

Good to see you.

- Thanks for coming.
- You look lovely.

- Good evening.
- Hello, welcome.

- Thank you for coming.
- Hi, there.

- You made it!
- How are you?

- Good to see you.
- Can't wait for the announcement.

Thank you for joining us.
Thanks.

Hey!

It was kind of you to invite me
to your humble abode, Alonso.

- We're glad to have you, Justino.
- I almost didn't make it.

The tour ran long.

We had to visit Oaxaca's
General Hospital.

Impressive what they can do
with so little, isn't it?

Anyway, I'm glad I was able
to make it back in time.

I couldn't miss out on...

your big announcement,
Mr. Secretary.

Can we get a picture
of the pre-candidates?

You're making history,
by the looks of it.

- Excuse us.
- Please.

- Did I say something wrong?
- You spooked them.

It's what the press does.

Well, I've made a list
with several options.

The water treatment plant
will be up and running

exactly a month from now,
it could work.

The new gas pipeline
is getting a lot of attention,

we could announce
we've resolved the setbacks...

or that the zoo is getting
new animals.

No way!

I'm not taking a selfie with you
if you flew in on a private jet.

I mean, right?
Don't you agree?

Or... as you know,

we have a very special guest
in attendance tonight.

The head of
the Ugo Conti Foundation,

who has just arrived...

And wants to explore possibilities
for environmental work in Mexico,

and what better ally
for this worthy endeavor,

than the Secretary
of Public Works!

Exactly!
Fantastic idea, sir.

Who needs the president
when we have European royalty!

Tell him to meet me
in the library.

It's a serious problem,
we have to do something.

You've convinced me, Count.

I'm making a substantial donation
to your cause.

Thank you.
You're a generous man, Secretary.

We can talk about it some more
later this week, and...

Let's announce it tonight.

The foundation comprises
a board of trustees,

we have to sign contracts
and, you know,

make those lawyers richer.

Let's do this on a personal capacity.
We'll keep the wording vague.

Also, if you prefer cash,
without all that paperwork,

I'd be okay with that.

We haven't known
each other very long,

but you'll see how generous
I am to my friends.

As am I, Secretary.

All right.

On a personal capacity it is,
without anything in exchange.

Thank you, Count.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Dear friends,

it's a true honor

for my daughter,
for my wife, and myself,

to welcome our good friend
from Italy,

the biggest and most influential
environmental activist in Europe...

Count Ugo Conti!

Bravo!

More than anything,

it fills me with great joy
and excitement to announce

I will be making
a special donation tonight

so that his remarkable
environmental work

may take root in this country,
his home!

Thank you very much!

- Mr. Secretary.
- Honored to meet you.

Meet my goddaughter,
she wants a selfie with us.

Frida, come quick!

I'd like you to meet
Count Ugo Conti.

Ugo, this is Frida Becker,
my dad's P.R. director.

She's just... wow.

Pleasure to meet you...

Count.

It's an honor.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I should get on.

Bye.

I remember thinking one day,
this chick has talent.

She's like, amazing.
Remember the time she...

You piece of shit.

- Let me explain.
- What is there to explain?

What the hell, Frida?

You told us your announcement
had national implications,

but all I saw tonight
was a half-hearted display

of aristocratic... vanity.

No offense.

What can I say, Arias?

Count Conti,
meet Ernesto Arias,

one of Mexico's most respected
and influential journalists.

- Nice to meet you.
- Pleasure.

- Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me.
- Go ahead.

Count?

Sure.

Free shot!

Free shot!

Here!

Miss, can I please have one?

Amedeo!

Shot!

I don't get it, how come
I'm not invited to your bar?

I doubt you can afford it.

Well, can I at least
buy you dinner?

Come on!

Another kebab?
You call that dinner?

Not really.

No, I can't move from here.
I need to get at least 10 people in.

Shot!

Let me try.

Give me the flyers.

- What? No.
- Yes, yes.

No, wait, Amedeo!

Ladies!

- Who's getting married?
- She is.

Of course, the veil.
What's your name?

- Elisa.
- Elisa!

By the Virgin, that's great!
That's it, you left us.

Well, I got one last shot for you.
Then you can go to sleep.

Go to my bar and say...

Will you be there?

Did you hear that?
You're getting married tomorrow!

That marriage won't last long.
Here, take this.

This will get you a free shot,
I'll join you in a while.

Right over there.
See you, ladies.

Congratulations!

Hey, there!

Check it out.

Hi, ladies!

Those girls are good to go.
She's getting married tomorrow.

- Plus, you get a free shot.
- Let's do it.

Yeah, you get it.

Take these.

Hey, Enzo!
They're with me.

What the hell?

The light in my room
doesn't work.

It's hard enough to find
their dicks in the light.

- Imagine doing it in the dark.
- I'll fix it tomorrow.

- Is the toilet working?
- Yes, it works.

Don't you fancy cleaning
my pipes?

Come on, girls.

My client mentioned you
the other day.

Are you sure you don't
want a threesome?

- He pays well.
- No, thanks.

As always, thank you
for thinking of me.

I think about you all the time.

Goodbye, ladies.

Hey, Mauri.
Comp me a coffee, please.

Can't do it anymore, Amedeo.

Just one!

Did you finish work?

Look, providence!

Are you finished?

I've been on my feet
all night.

I'm waiting for the pain to fade
so I can go home.

I'll take you home.

How? In what car?

Are you Neapolitan now?

An incredible duo.

Here?

Here.

The lady... is served.

- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.

And you think just for this
I'm going to sleep with you?

No.

Not just for this.

I should go. I have to.

I don't understand
what they're talking about.

What?

Have I been wasting my time
teaching you Spanish for months?

Protests have just started
over some lands?

They haven't just started,
this has been going on for years.

Hi, my love!

Hello!

How's it going?

I'm exhausted.

I can't take it anymore.

We need to buy you
some better shoes.

We need to buy
better everything.

Why don't we leave?

Let's go to Mexico.

You know I can't go back.

You haven't said why.

It's a mystery.

PROTESTS AGAINST ECOCIDE
TURN VIOLENT

No fucking way.

Is that you?

After this photo,

my name entered the police's
most wanted list.

Really?

So, I'm pretty much
fucking a fugitive.

- No, dummy.
- No?

It was dangerous to stay,
so I decided to leave.

Not Mexico.

- Let's go somewhere else.
- Like where?

We could go to Spain.

All right.

Or maybe Germany.
A friend of mine lives there.

Let's go to Germany, then.

What about your job?

You know I hate it.

Let's go.

I'll take you anywhere.

Will you carry me there
in your arms?

Fine.

Let me get up!

GET YOUR LAST PAYCHECK.
I CAME TO SAY GOODBYE TO THE GIRLS

MEET ME AT THE USUAL PLACE

Let's go!

- Whose car is this?
- It doesn't matter, get in!

Come on!

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

- What is it?
- Get out.

Concha, get out now.

Why?

You're undocumented.
Get out!

Hey! Get out!

Goddammit!

LET'S MIX BLOODLINES, COUNT

THANK YOU FOR VISITING MEXICO

ALONSO RONDIA IS A THIEF

SHUT UP, FUCKING PLEB

BROTHER, YOU'RE MEXICAN NOW

I'M COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET FOR HIM

Holy shit!

Five thousand likes
in only ten minutes!

Better than the photo we took
at the restaurant opening.

Without a doubt, we're a hit.

Thanks for walking me
to my door.

It's still early, don't you think?

Tere...

I'll call you tomorrow.

Yes?

Good evening, Count.
I'm sorry to bother you.

I realize it must've
slipped your mind,

so I thought I'd come in person
to deliver your balance.

- Oh, the bill!
- Yes.

I thought it was
something important.

I will send instructions
to have it paid immediately.

Wonderful, thank you.

Once again, I'm very sorry.
If you need anything at all...

ALONSO RONDIA
MAKING STRIDES TOWARDS OAXACA

Your approval is up 20%
as is your media presence.

- For no money?
- Yes, organic growth.

What's happening on social media
is unprecedented, Secretary.

Your presence is growing
exponentially,

our events are working,

the people's perception of you
seems to be very positive.

We have to give it to Tere,
because thanks to her posts

we're seeing higher engagement
with young people

and environmentalists.

Conti.

Conti.

Thanks, kiddo.

Excuse me.

And yet, not a word
from the president.

That son of a bitch
won't even return my calls.

Do you think
he's backing out?

He can't, you have some really
sensitive information on him.

He knows I can and will fuck him up
if I don't get the nomination!

Yes?

Mr. Secretary,
Count Ugo Conti wants to see you.

Wait, what?

You can't leave now.

Not when the whole country
is talking about you.

Unfortunately, I have other projects
that require my attention.

Here, I don't have access
to the resources I need.

Surely you know
you can rely on me.

How much do you need?

No.

The Contis are not in the habit
of borrowing money.

That's not what I mean.
I was only saying...

We're going to sign a contract
as if you worked here.

The Secretariat will cover
all your personal expenses.

I appreciate the offer,
it's very kind of you.

Well, say no more!

Thank you, Alonso.

If there's a project I can help with,
just say the word.

As a matter of fact, there is.

Welcome to Project Pochutla.

An ambitious tourist destination
nestled in the coast of Oaxaca,

where we will build
a cutting-edge resort.

Our plan includes the construction
of a modern airport,

to bring in tourists...

Wonderful.

Murderer!

Get him in the car! Now!

From the Count of Astis.

DANGEROUS LIAISONS

Thanks.

Who does this little shit
think he is?

Why does everyone
obey you?

My grandfather always said:

"Walk as if you're wearing
an invisible crown,

and everyone will treat you
like a king."

So, why are you here?

A financial misunderstanding.

I thought the rich could pay
to get out of here.

It's true. We can.

Right now, I prefer to stay.
I feel safer here.

On the other hand,

the biography
of an interesting nobleman

isn't complete
without a prison chapter.

You're a nobleman?

Count Francesco de Astis.

Amedeo. Amedeo Padula.

Amedeo?
Amedeo is a noble name.

The history of Italy
is full of famous Amedeos.

What can you tell me
about your family?

It was just me and my mother.
She's dead.

I'm sorry.
What about your father?

I don't have one.

You're the miraculous product
of immaculate conception.

I never knew him.

My mother never cared to know
who he was.

It wouldn't surprise me
if you came from a good family,

judging by your appearance,
your demeanor.

I don't know about that.
My mother was a prostitute.

A most noble profession.

The book.
I don't understand it.

Have you read it?

They're just fucking letters,
I can't understand it.

It's called an epistolary novel.
You'll get it.

You must chew, swallow...

and then you can
continue speaking.

Sit up straight.

Why do you care about
good manners in prison?

Don't expect others
to respect you

if you can't respect yourself.

Let's make a toast.

Are we supposed to toast
with water?

This isn't water.

This is an excellent Pinot Noir.

It's good.

Amedeo.

It's much more than good.

It's full-bodied.

Notes of wood and citrus.

Delicate, yet robust.

If we weren't in prison,
I might just believe it.

Have you thought about
what you'll do when you get out?

- If I get out.
- I assure you, you will.

Have you thought about it?

I'll figure something out
like I always do.

There's a different world
out there.

A better world.

That's your world,
not mine.

You're wrong.

It's for whomever is brave enough
to take it.

Fortis fortuna adiuvat.

Fortune favors the bold.

I've been released!

We've been released.

You, too?

Was it you?

I only made a few calls.

Life is hard
if you have a criminal record.

It wasn't easy.

I managed to make your record
disappear in the catacombs.

If there's no crime,
there's no punishment.

Why are you helping me?

Because I know that
when the time comes,

you'll make the right decision.

Hello, Enzo. How are you?

Good.

I imagine this is goodbye.

Unless you want to stop being
the son of a prostitute,

and become the man
you've always dreamed of.

I leave tomorrow, Amedeo.

I'd like you to come with me.

Where?

To find out, you must let go
of the past and start over.

Come on.

Amedeo!

Concha?

Count.

We're so very sorry.

What happened?

Criminals, enemies of Mexico,
the usual fare.

The Secretary requested
none of this went public.

We took the liberty of bringing you
to a military hospital,

where we will be safe
from the media.

I'll let them know you're awake.

Excuse me.

Thank you for being here.

I'm here for work.

But I also thought

how horrible it would be
to see Mario's face

after waking up
from this unfortunate incident.

It's funny.

You used to be the one
who threw things.

People change.
Isn't that right, Count?

I'm sorry.

You did me a favor, actually.

After you left me,
I moved to Germany.

I took a job as a house cleaner
for Otto and Frida Becker.

They had no children.

I went to university,
took their last name.

I started over.

How did you end up
working for Alonso?

What can I say?

"He who is free from sin,
let him cast the first stone."

You're better than
everyone here.

Not good enough for a count.

- Can we meet up?
- No, don't be stubborn.

You're the only good thing
I've had in my life.

The only real thing.

Funny, yet you still left.

They sure gave us a fright.

Yeah... fortunately,
Dad was there.

Thanks, Alonso.

Thank you all for coming.
I'd be lost without you.

Only in prison or in the hospital
do you know your true friends.

I hope you never
have to visit me in jail.

Well, I think we should let
Count Conti get some rest.

Yes, after you.

Before I forget.

We already took care
of your hotel bill.

- Thank you.
- And...

use this card
for your personal expenses.

You're very kind.

Thank you.

SECRETARIAT OF PUBLIC WORKS

Oh, Ugo.
When I heard the news...

I mean, look.

All that matters
is you're okay.

But, you know what?
It made me realize something.

The thought of living
without you...

You and me, it could be wow.
Don't you think?

This connection we have
can't be faked.

Tell me you feel it.

Tell me you feel
the same way I do.

Teresa, I'm leaving!

I feel the same way.

Bye.

I love, love, love you!

Oh, I love you.

What are you doing?

- My "first time" announcement.
- No.

No.

Look, so far, my social media
has been too chaste.

Too virginal.

Like, I've never even had
a public boyfriend.

I've done okay, more or less.

But ever since we started
posting stories and photos,

expectations have risen,
just like my follower count.

The public wants to know,
"are they together?"

The public wants to know?

Okay, there's a narrative.

I am finally ready...

to announce
I'm no longer a virgin,

and that I've found love
with Count Ugo Conti.

You weren't a virgin, though.

We've been doing this
for a while.

It doesn't count
unless it's online, okay?

Not with you, nor with any
of those other boys.

Look, Tere.

I am a public figure.

These things are complicated.

Plus, your dad would kill me.

People are like, ignoring me.

I'm sorry, but...

no one cares about your breakfast
or your yoga lessons.

Get him to go public.
Conti gossip is everything!

I know that!
But I just can't.

Ugo is a public figure.

He's very particular
about his image.

But he loves you, right?
He has said the words.

Is there somebody else?

Of course not.

Frida, what should I do?

Tere, they're right.

It's only natural for you
to start losing followers,

because you're no longer
breaking news.

Ugo isn't ready yet.

So? Make him.

Thank you very much!
That's all for tonight.

You're not returning my calls.

We have nothing to talk about.

Besides, you seem busy.

I hope you're having fun.

People here are peculiar.

All it takes is a title
to be treated like a king.

Don't flatter yourself.

In Mexico, foreigners
and white people

are treated much better
than we treat each other.

It's paradise.

Is that why you're here?

An opportunity came up,
and I took it.

But I admit I also thought
I might find you.

Well, you found me,
and much more.

There's a Spanish poem...
How did it go?

"The girl wants a husband,

the father wants a Marquis,

the Marquis wants money.

How lucky for all three!"

- It's not what you think.
- No, it's not what you think.

Alonso is a dangerous man.

- You're exaggerating.
- No, he's a pig.

His voracity will be his downfall.

If you don't leave now,
you'll go down with him.

Mexican politicians are worse
than the Italian mafia.

- So, why are you working for them?
- I owe you no explanations.

You think you're the one
taking advantage,

but they're the ones
taking advantage of you.

Alonso is better than you
at this game.

I can't leave without you.

Amedeo, just wear your crown,

and don't ask
too many questions.

Ciao, Count.

In Mexico, corruption isn't a flaw,
it's a virtue.

What are you talking about?

Alonso isn't the most powerful
nor the wealthiest politician,

but the son of a bitch
is about to be.

Alonso has dirt on the president
that he doesn't want getting out.

What kind of dirt?

Before the president
became president,

there was a massacre.

Alonso helped him cover it up.

In return, Alonso was allowed
to displace thousands in Oaxaca

and appropriate lands
that used to be protected.

He can't use them because
he lacks the power and the allies,

but once he's governor...

He can do anything he wants.

People have the right to know
he's a criminal,

and I will be the one
who blows the whistle.

Some people have a price,

and some don't.

Which side are you on, Count?

I'm only on one side, Ernesto.
My own.

- Tere isn't joining us today?
- She's not feeling well, she's resting.

JOURNALIST FOUND DEAD
IN COYOACAN

Is that Ernesto?

Doesn't ring a bell.

There are so many journalists.

They found him at his place,
he hung himself.

It seems he had some
mental health issues.

Unfortunately, the rate of suicide
among Mexican journalists

is on the rise.

- What's for breakfast?
- Huevos motuleños.

Sounds delicious, Alicia.

- Amedeo, what do you want?
- They killed him!

They killed Arias.

Arias told me he was working
on a story about Alonso,

and now he's dead.

- I told you they're dangerous!
- We have to leave.

Let me get you away from here.
They are murderers!

Yeah, I told you!
Yet, you stayed.

For you.

Come with me.

Remember how we fantasized
about all we would do?

Well, now is our chance.
We could do anything.

Concha and Amedeo.

I love you, Concha.

So...

what is your plan, exactly?

I'm going to drain the money
from Alonso's account,

and then I'll pick you up
tomorrow.

When have I heard that before?

I'm not the stupid kid
I used to be, you know?

I'm better.

Stronger.

You're exactly the same
stupid kid,

but I'm no longer
the girl who runs.

No matter how you look at it,
this can't possibly end well.

You don't think we can have
a happy ending?

Let's enjoy this moment,

and then let's go
our separate ways.

Still, thank you.

Thank you for this.

For you, for your beauty.

Thank you for leaving me
that day.

Hey.

We'll always have Italy.

Ugo!

It's me, Tere!

Ugo!

Please let me in.

Tere, what's wrong?

I missed my period.

I threw up four times,
I can't keep anything down.

Food poisoning?

No, you idiot!

I'm pregnant!

What?

- Do your parents know?
- No!

My mom wants me to see a doctor,
she thinks I have a stomach bug.

I'm a virgin, remember?

My dad is gonna kill me.

He's going to kill me!

- I'm going to end up like Arias.
- Who?

I'm such a slut.

You know what?

I'm going to put an end to it.
I'm going to jump from the window.

I guess I'll just die.

Just wait.

Don't be ridiculous.

Calm down.

Enough, stop it.

Sit down, come on.

Tere, please.

Listen to me.

I'm going to fix this, all right?

Do you trust me?

Yes.

I love you.

Okay.

Go home,

calm down,

and no matter what happens,
don't tell anyone.

All right?

Okay.

- Come here.
- Yes, please.

That's enough.

Cheer up.

Where are we going?

Switzerland.

Meet Count Ugo Conti.

Only child of my second cousins,
Maria and Umberto.

They didn't love each other,
but they got married and had him.

Is he...?

This is the result
of generations of inbreeding.

His parents died,

and appointed me
as his guardian.

They checked him in under a fake name
when he was three.

Not even the director of the institute
know who he really is.

Ugo Conti disappeared
from the world twenty years ago.

It wouldn't be strange
if he suddenly reappeared

after a trip to Egypt
with his uncle.

This is insane.

In the world of the aristocracy,
these things happen.

You can't create a nobleman
out of thin air.

What did I tell you in prison?

Walk like you're wearing a crown,
and you'll be treated like a king.

This is the Almanach Nobilis.

The royal phone book,
so to speak.

Here you can find emperors,
kings, princes...

And even... look.
Here I am.

"Count Franceso de Astis.
Born in Trieste, 1976.

Currently the last member
of his lineage."

If a name appears on this book,
no one will question its authenticity.

Do you understand?

And over here... we have...

our beloved Count Ugo Conti.

Now, the only thing left

is to match your face
with your name.

- It looks...
- Real? It is.

Friends in high places.

Now, meet the new Ugo Conti.

Did it really happen?
Who cares?

If it's online, it did.

For now, most of your followers
are bots, fake profiles.

But that will change
once you step into your character.

The Ugo Conti Foundation.

That's the main course.

It wasn't cheap,
but legitimacy seldom is.

You'll be the face
of our noble organization.

We'll do great business, you'll see,
but there's still a lot of work to do.

This is about more
than just a title.

All this involves sacrifice
and dedication.

Are you ready?

Your wallet.

I'm sorry.
Your mother is dead.

Do you understand?

We didn't know who to call,
so she has already been buried.

From this day forward,

you will only answer
to the name Count Ugo Conti.

You are now an extension
of my nobility,

and you have to honor our name
and our family.

I will demand absolute obedience.

Little by little, I'll unveil things
that will be useful to you.

The farce must be perfect,
lest it end in tragedy.

Family tradition, to celebrate
a new member joining the family.

Long live Count Ugo Conti!

First responders are working
at the so-called ground zero

in an effort to recover the bodies,
most of them carbonized.

Mr. President, it's been six hours
with no official statement.

I've instructed Alonso Rondia
to brief the press immediately.

- Who will be held accountable?
- Secretary Alonso Rondia...

For fuck's sake!

We need to keep this scandal
from resulting in an audit,

which might uncover
all those budget irregularities.

Garduño, we'll be eaten alive.

My friend, there's no "we" here.

The money skimmed from the pipeline
went to the president's campaign!

- It was a favor.
- Which has been generously repaid.

We're literally on fire here.

As for your candidacy,
we have to postpone it for now.

This is an act of betrayal!

Look, accidents happen.

If you manage to find
a big enough distraction

to pull the spotlight
away from this tragedy,

maybe we can turn the page.

I should get going.

Please, keep your eye
on the prize.

Thanks for the coffee.

- Yes?
- Sir, it's Count Ugo Conti.

- Not now, Martita.
- He's here, in the library.

Sorry to keep you waiting, Ugo.

Now is not a good time.

Alonso, it's important for me

to honor my lineage
and family name.

I must always conduct myself
as the gentleman I am.

That's why, as a man of honor,

and as a gentleman,

I've come to request
your daughter's hand in marriage.

- What are you talking about?
- Teresa and I have grown close.

I admire her as a woman,

as a Rondia, with noble blood
running through her veins,

but more importantly,
I want to marry your daughter

because I love her.

It is my wish to make Teresa Rondia
the Countess of Conti.

Two great families
joined at the best time.

This will be epic!

- I'd prefer something intimate.
- No, out of the question.

This will be the biggest wedding
in the history of Mexico!

We have no time to lose.

We must make the announcement
immediately!

Maybe not in Italy,
but here in Mexico

the father of the bride
handles everything.

The Archbishop will officiate,

and your best man...
will be the president.

Tere, Alicia, come quick!

Champagne!

I haven't asked Tere yet.

Tere will do as I say.

Ugo has asked us
for Tere's hand in marriage.

- Is that true?
- Yes, ma'am.

I love her,
and I want to marry her.

What about you?
Do you want to marry him?

Oh, yes!

They've been dating all this time
and we had no idea.

- Sir?
- No, not those.

We'll use these.

It's a special occasion.

God, we really are celebrating.

We're finally breaking out
the tsar's wine glasses!

Please.

Yesterday, I only had a daughter.

Today, I also have a son.

To the Counts Conti!

Cheers.

- Cheers!
- Cheers.

Fortis fortuna adiuvat.

The Contis smash our glasses
to welcome a new family member.

Welcome, Teresa.

Fortis fortuna... whatever.

Fortis fortuna.

BREAKING OUT THE TSAR'S GLASSES

The wedding will be in a month,
we don't want to wait any longer.

Mr. Secretary, is this an attempt
at distracting the public

from the pipeline tragedy?

I find it distasteful to politicize
such a terrible accident.

Our prayers are with the families
of the victims.

- Next question.
- Mr. Secretary!

Justino Nava holds you responsible,
how do you respond to that?

I urge you to stop sullying
this family announcement

with accusations
from Mexico's enemies!

Where will you go
for your honeymoon?

Paris.

Will you be residing
here in Mexico?

Certainly.

How come?

Because Mexico...

is almost paradise.

Count, can we get a picture?

Have another one!

- I've had enough.
- Drink it! You're Mexican now!

In Mexico, your son-in-law
is like your real son!

Wear the fucking hat!

Habemus count, motherfuckers!

Let me introduce you
to my nephew,

Count Ugo Conti.

- Pleasure meeting you.
- Likewise.

Charmed.

- Enjoying your evening?
- Very much.

- I can't believe how easy it was!
- This is only the beginning.

Will they really donate
to the foundation?

Of course they will.

I think there must be
some kind of misunderstanding.

I love you like a father.

I think I'll head home.

Wait to get comfortable.

They're waiting for you
downstairs.

- We've reached an agreement.
- Francesco, can we talk?

You're included in the price.

You must spend the night
with them.

What are you saying?

Do you really think
this is all for free?

The time has come
for you to do your part.

I'm not a piece of meat.

That's exactly what you are.

I didn't invest all this time
and money for nothing.

I never agreed
to lend myself to this!

Like mother, like son.

What does that mean?
I don't understand.

It means you're nothing
but a whore.

Just like your mother.

Get your ass down there.
Quickly, now!

You're not my pimp.

I'm leaving.

If you leave, you do so only
with the clothes on your back!

Thank you for this.
Goodbye, Francesco.

Ugo...

- Wait, listen to me.
- Don't touch me.

- Please forgive me.
- Let go of me!

- You won't get far without me.
- We'll see.

- Are you going to turn me in?
- No, you're my masterpiece.

You're not ready!

Fuck you, Francesco.

I'll watch you fall.

With my own eyes.

Dear god.

You wanted to see me,
Alonso?

I needed to see you because...

Today, the president said to me
the sweetest words I've heard.

You're standing before
Oaxaca's next governor!

- Seriously?
- I'll announce it on Friday.

And this time, everything
will go smoothly.

Congratulations, Alonso.

I haven't told anyone yet
because I wanted us to talk first.

We have no time to lose.

That backstabbing Indian
will jump at the chance to attack.

- I need to be bulletproof.
- Naturally.

My estate is tied up in bonds
and companies that,

given my situation,
are in other people's names.

Going forward, I'd like those assets
to be under my son-in-law's name,

to protect us in case
of any contingencies.

Oh, and I'm forming a company
to run the Pochutla Project.

As governor, I can't be CEO,

but since you're family,
I'd like you to take over.

You won't have to work,
but you'll get all the benefits.

Hey...

What I'm proposing here
isn't dirty or immoral.

I'll gladly do this for you.

For us, Ugo, for us!

Amedeo Padula?

You're coming with us.

- Get in the car.
- What is this about?

I demand that you call
the Italian consul,

my attorney,
and Alonso Rondia!

You're messing with the son-in-law
of Oaxaca's next governor!

What do you mean
he's missing?

My nomination is tomorrow,
so you better find him!

- Sir, Garduño is here...
- Not now, Mario!

He has Conti.

What?

Your mother's name is...
I'm sorry, was...

Dominica Padula.

Father, unknown.

Let me explain.

Explain what, Garduño?

This better be a good story.

A story as good that
of Amedeo Padula?

The impostor
pretending to be Count Conti.

Did you serve time in Italy
for grand theft auto?

Answer him, fucker!

Yes.

This is slander.

It's not true.

I have the proof here.

See for yourself.

GRAND THEFT AUTO

Do you know Liz Avrell?

Is this her doing?
That bitch?

An American socialite
accused him of theft in her yacht.

Nothing serious, but we followed
the trail to Italy, and found this.

The most important thing is,
the bastard confessed.

Have you stolen the identity
of Ugo Conti?

Define "stolen."

- Who knows about this?
- Nobody, not even the president.

This is the only copy.

I'm giving this to you,
and you alone.

For the last time,

is your name Amedeo Padula?

Yes.

Yes.

That's all for now.

See you later, Count.

What do you want?

We're family,
I'm here to help you.

What do you want?

All right, my friend.
Once you're governor,

I think it would be fair
to bring me into

your Pochutla Project.

As partners.

Done.

Done.

But the scumbag is mine.

Absolutely.

Dad, where's Ugo?

Sweetie...

I doesn't matter where he is,
but who he is.

He's no count.

He's not even an influencer.

What are you talking about?

His foundation... it's all fake.

He's an impostor.

His name is...

Amedeo fuck-knows-what.

The wedding's off, sweetie.

No, wait.

You can't do that.

I've been trending for days.

- I don't care he's not a count, so...
- Well, I do.

The wedding is off.

Tere, your father knows best.
If he says it's off, it's off.

No.

I'm going to marry him, okay?

I'm done arguing.

I'm pregnant.

I had no idea!

How could you be so stupid?

Calm down!

Call Dr. Cavil.
Get that thing out of her!

- That's not happening.
- Call him!

- We're stopping this.
- No, it's her decision.

- What's wrong with you?
- Shut the hell up for once!

Marry a dead man,
see if I care.

Frida, I need your help.

It's urgent.

Alonso... Alonso!

Thank god you're here.

This is a travesty!

Please.

You took advantage
of my daughter.

No.

You deceived me,
you son of a bitch!

You broke my wine glasses.

The tsar's wine glasses!

Can you imagine
what everyone will say?

All those people to whom
you showed me off?

The whole of society,
the journalists,

the president.

Why did you deceive me,
you bastard?

No, I didn't, Alonso.

You deceived yourself.

Tere has to marry me.

It's a simple decision, Alonso.

Your grandson can be
a bastard, or a count.

You don't have to worry
about that anymore.

No, no, no!

Alonso Rondia.

Mr. President.

What the hell
is the Indian doing here?

Oh, Alonso, Alonso...

Justino already caught me up
on this whole mess.

You were fooled.

We don't want you to be
the laughingstock of the party,

but Oaxaca is over for you.

This is a private matter
between Conti and I.

Do you mean, Amedeo Padula?

I know things.

You'll stay quiet.

No one has to know
you were made a fool.

You will no longer hold
anything over my head.

Call us even.

I'm not bluffing.

Do you think people will believe
what you have to say?

Or rather, that you're
a stupid, corrupt politician

who was in league
with the impostor from the start?

You have no credibility.

Worse yet, no allies.

We're going to wait
some time,

maybe a few months,

and then we'll see
if we can give you another state,

or a seat in Congress...

or nothing at all.

We'll see.

Thanks a lot, Frida.

We have a deal.

The lands will be preserved,
just like I promised.

- What about Rondia's ecocide?
- Cancelled.

Just like his political career.

We have a deal, Governor.

I wouldn't go in there.
He's about to shoot him.

Mr. Secretary, don't!

I wouldn't do that.

What are you doing here?

I'm here to stop you
from making a huge mistake.

Why do you even care
about this prick?

Personally, I don't give
two shits about him,

but it seems half the country
does care.

Peeps, I need your help.

My dad just found out
I'm pregnant.

He wants to cancel the wedding
and teach Ugo a lesson.

I'm so scared he might
hurt him, or worse.

Ugo is the love of my life.

I love him...

and my baby.

Please, help me.

If you kill him, everyone will know.
Your daughter told them as much.

Even without proof,

you'll always be the man who killed
his pregnant daughter's fiancé.

No!

Secretary, please don't!

No, Alonso!

Alonso, look at me!

Mr. Secretary, don't...

Thank you.

I told you to leave while you could.
I told you!

It was always Rondia.

It was a protest against him,
the one that caused you to flee.

You used me to destroy him.

Frida Becker can do things
that Concha López couldn't.

Like save my life?

What will happen to me?

Oh, baby.

You'll be okay.

Concha... Concha!

I'm tied up!

Concha!

It's so beautiful,
I never want to take it off.

Please don't tag Ugo, okay?

You know, it's bad luck.

Smile.

IT'S DONE

CALL FROM MEXICO

ASSHOLE AMEDEO

ALMOST PARADISE

Based on the novel
by Luis Spota