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00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:02,834
Announcer: FROM
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00:00:02,969 --> 00:00:04,403
WASHINGTON, D.C., NBC PRESENTS
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00:00:04,537 --> 00:00:05,971
PRESIDENT CARTER'S STATE OF THE
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00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:06,838
UNION ADDRESS.
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00:00:06,973 --> 00:00:08,374
NOW FROM INSIDE THE CAPITOL IS
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00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:12,811
NBC's RAY McDOUGAL.
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00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:17,127
IN JUST A MOMENT, THE HOUSE
DOORKEEPER WILL ANNOUNCE THE
PRESIDENT.
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00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,928
DOORKEEPER WILL ANNOUNCE THE
PRESIDENT.
RUMOR HAD IT EARLIER TODAY THAT
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00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,763
PRESIDENT.
RUMOR HAD IT EARLIER TODAY THAT
THE PRESIDENT MAY NOT HAVE BEEN
10
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:22,732
RUMOR HAD IT EARLIER TODAY THAT
THE PRESIDENT MAY NOT HAVE BEEN
ABLE TO GIVE THE ADDRESS BECAUSE
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00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,567
THE PRESIDENT MAY NOT HAVE BEEN
ABLE TO GIVE THE ADDRESS BECAUSE
OF A PAINFUL MEDICAL PROBLEM,
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00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,069
ABLE TO GIVE THE ADDRESS BECAUSE
OF A PAINFUL MEDICAL PROBLEM,
BUT WE'VE HEARD THAT HE
13
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:27,337
OF A PAINFUL MEDICAL PROBLEM,
BUT WE'VE HEARD THAT HE
DEFINITELY IS HERE.
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00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,206
BUT WE'VE HEARD THAT HE
DEFINITELY IS HERE.
AND, UH, HERE'S THE SPEAKER.
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00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,174
DEFINITELY IS HERE.
AND, UH, HERE'S THE SPEAKER.
THIS ROOM WILL BE IN ORDER.
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00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,276
AND, UH, HERE'S THE SPEAKER.
THIS ROOM WILL BE IN ORDER.
MR. SPEAKER, THE PRESIDENT OF
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00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,845
THIS ROOM WILL BE IN ORDER.
MR. SPEAKER, THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES.
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00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,415
MR. SPEAKER, THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES.
THE PRESIDENT IS WADDLING
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00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:40,917
THE UNITED STATES.
THE PRESIDENT IS WADDLING
INTO THE HOUSE CHAMBER NOW.
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00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,419
THE PRESIDENT IS WADDLING
INTO THE HOUSE CHAMBER NOW.
THE ENTIRE CONGRESS IS, OF
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00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,187
INTO THE HOUSE CHAMBER NOW.
THE ENTIRE CONGRESS IS, OF
COURSE, AWARE OF THE PRESIDENT'S
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00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,555
THE ENTIRE CONGRESS IS, OF
COURSE, AWARE OF THE PRESIDENT'S
CONDITION, AND THEY ARE
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00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:46,923
COURSE, AWARE OF THE PRESIDENT'S
CONDITION, AND THEY ARE
OBVIOUSLY APPLAUDING HIS
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00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:47,557
CONDITION, AND THEY ARE
OBVIOUSLY APPLAUDING HIS
COURAGE.
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00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,359
OBVIOUSLY APPLAUDING HIS
COURAGE.
HIS STOIC FACE REFUSES TO BETRAY
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00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,128
COURAGE.
HIS STOIC FACE REFUSES TO BETRAY
THE OBVIOUS DISCOMFORT CAUSED BY
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00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:54,312
HIS STOIC FACE REFUSES TO BETRAY
THE OBVIOUS DISCOMFORT CAUSED BY
HIS AFFLICTION.
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00:01:14,807 --> 00:01:20,990
MY FELLOW AMERICANS, AS I
START MY THIRD YEAR AS
PRESIDENT, I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE
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00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,260
START MY THIRD YEAR AS
PRESIDENT, I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE
THAT THE STATE OF THE UNION IS
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00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:25,262
PRESIDENT, I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE
THAT THE STATE OF THE UNION IS
THE BEST IT'S EVER BEEN.
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00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,097
THAT THE STATE OF THE UNION IS
THE BEST IT'S EVER BEEN.
WE ARE IN GREAT SHAPE.
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00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:28,465
THE BEST IT'S EVER BEEN.
WE ARE IN GREAT SHAPE.
WE'RE AT PEACE.
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00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,467
WE ARE IN GREAT SHAPE.
WE'RE AT PEACE.
MORE PEOPLE ARE JOGGING.
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00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,869
WE'RE AT PEACE.
MORE PEOPLE ARE JOGGING.
AND WE HAD THE BEST SUPER BOWL
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00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,253
MORE PEOPLE ARE JOGGING.
AND WE HAD THE BEST SUPER BOWL
EVER.
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00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:48,600
BUT WE DO HAVE PROBLEMS, THE
MOST IRRITATING OF WHICH IS THE
CONSTANT SWELLING OF INFLATION.
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00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:54,558
MOST IRRITATING OF WHICH IS THE
CONSTANT SWELLING OF INFLATION.
THE VESSELS OF OUR ECONOMY ARE
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00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,227
CONSTANT SWELLING OF INFLATION.
THE VESSELS OF OUR ECONOMY ARE
DANGLING IN SUSPENSE TO SEE HOW
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00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,662
THE VESSELS OF OUR ECONOMY ARE
DANGLING IN SUSPENSE TO SEE HOW
THIS NAGGING PROBLEM WILL BE
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00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:03,900
DANGLING IN SUSPENSE TO SEE HOW
THIS NAGGING PROBLEM WILL BE
RECTIFIED.
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00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,303
THIS NAGGING PROBLEM WILL BE
RECTIFIED.
INFLATION IS NOT PRETTY.
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00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,071
RECTIFIED.
INFLATION IS NOT PRETTY.
BUT AFTER A LONG, HARD LOOK, I
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00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,806
INFLATION IS NOT PRETTY.
BUT AFTER A LONG, HARD LOOK, I
BELIEVE I'VE PUT MY FINGER ON
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00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,670
BUT AFTER A LONG, HARD LOOK, I
BELIEVE I'VE PUT MY FINGER ON
THE PROBLEM.
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00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:17,569
WE HAVE OVEREXTENDED OURSELVES,
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00:02:17,703 --> 00:02:19,605
PUT TOO MUCH STRAIN ON OUR
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00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:22,474
ECONOMY FROM OUR DEPENDENCE ON
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00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:24,809
THE FLOW OF FOREIGN OIL.
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00:02:25,077 --> 00:02:30,660
THEREFORE, TO DRIVE THE PILES
FOR A NEW FOUNDATION TO DEAL
WITH INFLATION, I WILL PRESENT
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00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,429
FOR A NEW FOUNDATION TO DEAL
WITH INFLATION, I WILL PRESENT
TO CONGRESS A COMPREHENSIVE
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00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,464
WITH INFLATION, I WILL PRESENT
TO CONGRESS A COMPREHENSIVE
LEGISLATIVE PACKAGE THAT I CALL
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00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:38,502
TO CONGRESS A COMPREHENSIVE
LEGISLATIVE PACKAGE THAT I CALL
"PREPARATION I."
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00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:40,470
LEGISLATIVE PACKAGE THAT I CALL
"PREPARATION I."
WITH DILIGENT APPLICATION, THIS
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00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,305
"PREPARATION I."
WITH DILIGENT APPLICATION, THIS
PROGRAM WILL HOPEFULLY SHRINK
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WITH DILIGENT APPLICATION, THIS
PROGRAM WILL HOPEFULLY SHRINK
INFLATION AND RELIEVE THIS
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00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,975
PROGRAM WILL HOPEFULLY SHRINK
INFLATION AND RELIEVE THIS
BURDEN WHICH ITCHES AWAY AT THE
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00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:49,079
INFLATION AND RELIEVE THIS
BURDEN WHICH ITCHES AWAY AT THE
BASE OF OUR ECONOMY.
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00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:04,794
I COULD GO ON AND DESCRIBE IN
THE MOST VAGUE GENERALITIES OUR
INADEQUATE EFFORTS IN ARMS
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00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,429
THE MOST VAGUE GENERALITIES OUR
INADEQUATE EFFORTS IN ARMS
REDUCTION AND HUMAN RIGHTS, BUT
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00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,097
INADEQUATE EFFORTS IN ARMS
REDUCTION AND HUMAN RIGHTS, BUT
I JUST CAN'T TAKE STANDING HERE
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00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,132
REDUCTION AND HUMAN RIGHTS, BUT
I JUST CAN'T TAKE STANDING HERE
ANY LONGER.
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00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,234
I JUST CAN'T TAKE STANDING HERE
ANY LONGER.
SO LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
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00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,458
ANY LONGER.
SO LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT."
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Announcer: IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
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00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,244
WITH MICHAEL PALIN...
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00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:49,120
STARRING DAN AYKROYD...
JOHN BELUSHI...
JANE CURTIN...
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00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:59,216
JOHN BELUSHI...
JANE CURTIN...
GARRETT MORRIS...
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00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:03,152
JANE CURTIN...
GARRETT MORRIS...
BILL MURRAY...
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00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:06,856
GARRETT MORRIS...
BILL MURRAY...
LARAINE NEWMAN...
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00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,248
BILL MURRAY...
LARAINE NEWMAN...
AND GILDA RADNER.
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00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:20,537
WITH MUSICAL GUEST
THE DOOBIE BROTHERS...
SPECIAL GUEST
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00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:22,505
THE DOOBIE BROTHERS...
SPECIAL GUEST
FRANKEN AND DAVIS...
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00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,841
SPECIAL GUEST
FRANKEN AND DAVIS...
AND A SPECIAL REPORT FROM
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00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,545
FRANKEN AND DAVIS...
AND A SPECIAL REPORT FROM
FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI.
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00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:35,140
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MICHAEL PALIN.
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00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:56,339
HELLO. HI.
GREAT, GREAT.
WOW.
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00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,374
GREAT, GREAT.
WOW.
I'M OVERCOME.
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00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:58,275
WOW.
I'M OVERCOME.
[LAUGHS]
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00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,109
I'M OVERCOME.
[LAUGHS]
THIS IS JUST WONDERFUL, YOU
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00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,044
[LAUGHS]
THIS IS JUST WONDERFUL, YOU
KNOW, TO COME 3,000 MILES TO
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00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:04,681
THIS IS JUST WONDERFUL, YOU
KNOW, TO COME 3,000 MILES TO
THIS... 4,000 BY CONCORDE.
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00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,115
KNOW, TO COME 3,000 MILES TO
THIS... 4,000 BY CONCORDE.
AH, IT'S... IT'S JUST GREAT TO
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00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:06,616
THIS... 4,000 BY CONCORDE.
AH, IT'S... IT'S JUST GREAT TO
BE HERE.
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00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,050
AH, IT'S... IT'S JUST GREAT TO
BE HERE.
ALL I CAN SAY IS IT'S GREAT TO
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00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:08,652
BE HERE.
ALL I CAN SAY IS IT'S GREAT TO
BE BACK ON
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00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,287
ALL I CAN SAY IS IT'S GREAT TO
BE BACK ON
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
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00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,422
BE BACK ON
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
[APPLAUSE]
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00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:15,057
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
[APPLAUSE]
OH, PLEASE.
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00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:15,692
[APPLAUSE]
OH, PLEASE.
[LAUGHS]
90
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,093
OH, PLEASE.
[LAUGHS]
YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME
91
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,495
[LAUGHS]
YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME
FEEL BETTER, AND I APPRECIATE
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00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:18,895
YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME
FEEL BETTER, AND I APPRECIATE
THAT.
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00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,297
FEEL BETTER, AND I APPRECIATE
THAT.
UM... NO, IT'S JUST WONDERFUL TO
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00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:21,598
THAT.
UM... NO, IT'S JUST WONDERFUL TO
BE HERE WITH THE GUYS AGAIN.
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00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:22,999
UM... NO, IT'S JUST WONDERFUL TO
BE HERE WITH THE GUYS AGAIN.
I MEAN, DANNY UP THERE... ISN'T
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00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:23,533
BE HERE WITH THE GUYS AGAIN.
I MEAN, DANNY UP THERE... ISN'T
HE GREAT?
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00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:24,834
I MEAN, DANNY UP THERE... ISN'T
HE GREAT?
AND ALL THE OTHERS ARE JUST,
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00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:28,772
HE GREAT?
AND ALL THE OTHERS ARE JUST,
UM, YOU KNOW, THE... UM, JOHN...
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00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:30,139
AND ALL THE OTHERS ARE JUST,
UM, YOU KNOW, THE... UM, JOHN...
WHOO!
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00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,441
UM, YOU KNOW, THE... UM, JOHN...
WHOO!
LIDA... GILDA...
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00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:32,074
WHOO!
LIDA... GILDA...
WHOO!
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00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:33,075
LIDA... GILDA...
WHOO!
LARAINE...
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00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:33,710
WHOO!
LARAINE...
WHOO!
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00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:34,577
LARAINE...
WHOO!
JANE...
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00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,646
WHOO!
JANE...
WHOO!
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00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,148
JANE...
WHOO!
[LAUGHTER]
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00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,983
WHOO!
[LAUGHTER]
GARRETT, OF COURSE...
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00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,085
[LAUGHTER]
GARRETT, OF COURSE...
AND BILL...
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00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,587
GARRETT, OF COURSE...
AND BILL...
AND A COUPLE POUNDS OF POTATOES.
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00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:45,922
AND BILL...
AND A COUPLE POUNDS OF POTATOES.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S ALL.
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00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,290
AND A COUPLE POUNDS OF POTATOES.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S ALL.
ANYWAY, IT'S JUST... I MEAN,
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00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:48,692
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S ALL.
ANYWAY, IT'S JUST... I MEAN,
IT'S A GREAT THRILL TO BE BACK
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00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:49,359
ANYWAY, IT'S JUST... I MEAN,
IT'S A GREAT THRILL TO BE BACK
HERE AGAIN.
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00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,860
IT'S A GREAT THRILL TO BE BACK
HERE AGAIN.
EVERYTHING'S WORKING WELL, AND I
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00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,161
HERE AGAIN.
EVERYTHING'S WORKING WELL, AND I
THINK... I MAY SAY THIS NOW
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00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,063
EVERYTHING'S WORKING WELL, AND I
THINK... I MAY SAY THIS NOW
BECAUSE I THINK WE HAVE A...
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00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,164
THINK... I MAY SAY THIS NOW
BECAUSE I THINK WE HAVE A...
DARE I SAY IT?
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00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:55,865
BECAUSE I THINK WE HAVE A...
DARE I SAY IT?
YEAH, I DARE.
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00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,166
DARE I SAY IT?
YEAH, I DARE.
A NEAR-PERFECT SHOW FOR YOU
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00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:57,667
YEAH, I DARE.
A NEAR-PERFECT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
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00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,835
A NEAR-PERFECT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
I MEAN, JUST THROUGH THE
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00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,136
TONIGHT.
I MEAN, JUST THROUGH THE
REHEARSALS, THE WRITERS HAVE
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00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,504
I MEAN, JUST THROUGH THE
REHEARSALS, THE WRITERS HAVE
COME UP WITH SUPERB MATERIAL.
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00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:02,772
REHEARSALS, THE WRITERS HAVE
COME UP WITH SUPERB MATERIAL.
THE DOOBIE BROTHERS ARE OUR
125
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:05,475
COME UP WITH SUPERB MATERIAL.
THE DOOBIE BROTHERS ARE OUR
MUSICAL GUESTS.
126
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,976
THE DOOBIE BROTHERS ARE OUR
MUSICAL GUESTS.
GREAT.
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00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,345
MUSICAL GUESTS.
GREAT.
THEY ARE... THEY'RE JUST SO
128
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:08,778
GREAT.
THEY ARE... THEY'RE JUST SO
GOOD.
129
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,146
THEY ARE... THEY'RE JUST SO
GOOD.
FRANKEN AND DAVIS, WE HAVE.
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00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,748
GOOD.
FRANKEN AND DAVIS, WE HAVE.
I MEAN, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
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00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,216
FRANKEN AND DAVIS, WE HAVE.
I MEAN, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
EVERYTHING'S GREAT APART FROM
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00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,385
I MEAN, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
EVERYTHING'S GREAT APART FROM
THE FACT THAT I HAVE THE WRONG
133
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,019
EVERYTHING'S GREAT APART FROM
THE FACT THAT I HAVE THE WRONG
SOCKS.
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00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,355
THE FACT THAT I HAVE THE WRONG
SOCKS.
STILL, THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM.
135
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,756
SOCKS.
STILL, THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM.
THIS IS JUST... NO, NO, THIS IS
136
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:20,824
STILL, THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM.
THIS IS JUST... NO, NO, THIS IS
JUST BETWEEN ME AND...
137
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,925
THIS IS JUST... NO, NO, THIS IS
JUST BETWEEN ME AND...
[HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHTER]
138
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:24,093
JUST BETWEEN ME AND...
[HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHTER]
IS THAT MY MOTHER UP THERE?
139
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,462
[HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHTER]
IS THAT MY MOTHER UP THERE?
THIS IS JUST BETWEEN ME AND NBC.
140
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:26,796
IS THAT MY MOTHER UP THERE?
THIS IS JUST BETWEEN ME AND NBC.
IT'S A LITTLE PROBLEM, A LITTLE
141
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,064
THIS IS JUST BETWEEN ME AND NBC.
IT'S A LITTLE PROBLEM, A LITTLE
LOCAL PROBLEM NEED NOT AFFECT
142
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:28,665
IT'S A LITTLE PROBLEM, A LITTLE
LOCAL PROBLEM NEED NOT AFFECT
YOU AT ALL.
143
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:29,932
LOCAL PROBLEM NEED NOT AFFECT
YOU AT ALL.
NO, I JUST... I MEAN, I REALLY
144
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,300
YOU AT ALL.
NO, I JUST... I MEAN, I REALLY
CAN'T WAIT BECAUSE I WANT TO GET
145
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,602
NO, I JUST... I MEAN, I REALLY
CAN'T WAIT BECAUSE I WANT TO GET
ON WITH THE SHOW BECAUSE, AS I
146
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:33,903
CAN'T WAIT BECAUSE I WANT TO GET
ON WITH THE SHOW BECAUSE, AS I
SAID, THE STUFF I'VE SEEN
147
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,505
ON WITH THE SHOW BECAUSE, AS I
SAID, THE STUFF I'VE SEEN
REALLY... I MEAN, THE ONLY THING
148
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,106
SAID, THE STUFF I'VE SEEN
REALLY... I MEAN, THE ONLY THING
ABOUT THE SOCKS THAT REALLY GETS
149
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,308
REALLY... I MEAN, THE ONLY THING
ABOUT THE SOCKS THAT REALLY GETS
ME IS... NO, NO, I'LL JUST TELL
150
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,210
ABOUT THE SOCKS THAT REALLY GETS
ME IS... NO, NO, I'LL JUST TELL
YOU... YOU KNOW, IS THAT I
151
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:45,548
ME IS... NO, NO, I'LL JUST TELL
YOU... YOU KNOW, IS THAT I
HAVE... I HAVE A PROBLEM IN THAT
152
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,183
YOU... YOU KNOW, IS THAT I
HAVE... I HAVE A PROBLEM IN THAT
AREA, WHICH IS THAT I HAVE AN
153
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,017
HAVE... I HAVE A PROBLEM IN THAT
AREA, WHICH IS THAT I HAVE AN
ALLERGY.
154
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,019
AREA, WHICH IS THAT I HAVE AN
ALLERGY.
I HAVE AN ALLERGY TO WOOL.
155
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,220
ALLERGY.
I HAVE AN ALLERGY TO WOOL.
NOW, OKAY, YOU KNOW, CERTAIN
156
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,555
I HAVE AN ALLERGY TO WOOL.
NOW, OKAY, YOU KNOW, CERTAIN
SOCKS ARE MADE OF WOOL, SO WHEN
157
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,890
NOW, OKAY, YOU KNOW, CERTAIN
SOCKS ARE MADE OF WOOL, SO WHEN
I, YOU KNOW, NEGOTIATED FOR THE
158
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,224
SOCKS ARE MADE OF WOOL, SO WHEN
I, YOU KNOW, NEGOTIATED FOR THE
CONTRACT, THEY SAID, "COME OVER
159
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:55,592
I, YOU KNOW, NEGOTIATED FOR THE
CONTRACT, THEY SAID, "COME OVER
HERE.
160
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:56,793
CONTRACT, THEY SAID, "COME OVER
HERE.
WE WANT YOU TO DO THE SHOW."
161
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,094
HERE.
WE WANT YOU TO DO THE SHOW."
I SAID, "FINE, BUT, OBVIOUSLY,
162
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,328
WE WANT YOU TO DO THE SHOW."
I SAID, "FINE, BUT, OBVIOUSLY,
I'D LIKE TO, IF POSSIBLE, IF
163
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,530
I SAID, "FINE, BUT, OBVIOUSLY,
I'D LIKE TO, IF POSSIBLE, IF
IT'S AT ALL POSSIBLE, NOT TO
164
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:01,330
I'D LIKE TO, IF POSSIBLE, IF
IT'S AT ALL POSSIBLE, NOT TO
HAVE WOOL SOCKS."
165
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,632
IT'S AT ALL POSSIBLE, NOT TO
HAVE WOOL SOCKS."
YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE TO SAY,
166
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,933
HAVE WOOL SOCKS."
YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE TO SAY,
"MICHAEL PALIN SAYS HE WILL DO
167
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,134
YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE TO SAY,
"MICHAEL PALIN SAYS HE WILL DO
THE SHOW PROVIDED HE DOESN'T
168
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:05,968
"MICHAEL PALIN SAYS HE WILL DO
THE SHOW PROVIDED HE DOESN'T
HAVE WOOL SOCKS."
169
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:07,103
THE SHOW PROVIDED HE DOESN'T
HAVE WOOL SOCKS."
I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY THAT.
170
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,471
HAVE WOOL SOCKS."
I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY THAT.
BUT I WROTE A LITTLE LETTER, AND
171
00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:09,839
I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY THAT.
BUT I WROTE A LITTLE LETTER, AND
I SPOKE TO SOMEONE ON THE PHONE.
172
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,207
BUT I WROTE A LITTLE LETTER, AND
I SPOKE TO SOMEONE ON THE PHONE.
THEY SAID, "FINE, YOU WON'T HAVE
173
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:11,941
I SPOKE TO SOMEONE ON THE PHONE.
THEY SAID, "FINE, YOU WON'T HAVE
ANY WOOL SOCKS.
174
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,042
THEY SAID, "FINE, YOU WON'T HAVE
ANY WOOL SOCKS.
WE'LL GET RAYON, TERYLENE,
175
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,243
ANY WOOL SOCKS.
WE'LL GET RAYON, TERYLENE,
ORLON, SOMETHING LIKE THAT."
176
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,445
WE'LL GET RAYON, TERYLENE,
ORLON, SOMETHING LIKE THAT."
JUST SO THAT... NOTHING MUCH,
177
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,613
ORLON, SOMETHING LIKE THAT."
JUST SO THAT... NOTHING MUCH,
BUT IT JUST HELPS MY COMFORT
178
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:17,380
JUST SO THAT... NOTHING MUCH,
BUT IT JUST HELPS MY COMFORT
DURING THE SHOW.
179
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:18,548
BUT IT JUST HELPS MY COMFORT
DURING THE SHOW.
AND IF I DO WEAR WOOL SOCKS,
180
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:19,883
DURING THE SHOW.
AND IF I DO WEAR WOOL SOCKS,
THEN THINGS GET A LITTLE SORT OF
181
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:20,550
AND IF I DO WEAR WOOL SOCKS,
THEN THINGS GET A LITTLE SORT OF
UNCOMFORTABLE.
182
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:21,851
THEN THINGS GET A LITTLE SORT OF
UNCOMFORTABLE.
ANYWAY, SO I THOUGHT, "LEAVE IT
183
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:22,351
UNCOMFORTABLE.
ANYWAY, SO I THOUGHT, "LEAVE IT
AT THAT."
184
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,486
ANYWAY, SO I THOUGHT, "LEAVE IT
AT THAT."
FINE, YOU KNOW, IT'S GREAT.
185
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,353
AT THAT."
FINE, YOU KNOW, IT'S GREAT.
I COME IN TODAY.
186
00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:25,722
FINE, YOU KNOW, IT'S GREAT.
I COME IN TODAY.
I PASS A STORE ON THE WAY IN
187
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,156
I COME IN TODAY.
I PASS A STORE ON THE WAY IN
SELLING RAYON, TERYLENE, ORLON
188
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:28,224
I PASS A STORE ON THE WAY IN
SELLING RAYON, TERYLENE, ORLON
SOCKS, ALL ON A SALE.
189
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,659
SELLING RAYON, TERYLENE, ORLON
SOCKS, ALL ON A SALE.
I COME IN TODAY, THERE'S NOT A
190
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,060
SOCKS, ALL ON A SALE.
I COME IN TODAY, THERE'S NOT A
SOCK IN THE BUILDING WHICH
191
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,729
I COME IN TODAY, THERE'S NOT A
SOCK IN THE BUILDING WHICH
DOESN'T HAVE PURE LAMB'S WOOL ON
192
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:33,095
SOCK IN THE BUILDING WHICH
DOESN'T HAVE PURE LAMB'S WOOL ON
IT.
193
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,664
DOESN'T HAVE PURE LAMB'S WOOL ON
IT.
YOU KNOW, IT'S... IT'S A SILLY
194
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:35,532
IT.
YOU KNOW, IT'S... IT'S A SILLY
THING, ANYWAY.
195
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:36,165
YOU KNOW, IT'S... IT'S A SILLY
THING, ANYWAY.
ANYWAY...
196
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,467
THING, ANYWAY.
ANYWAY...
NO, I TELL YOU, THE SHOW
197
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:38,968
ANYWAY...
NO, I TELL YOU, THE SHOW
TONIGHT... JUST A FORETASTE,
198
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,537
NO, I TELL YOU, THE SHOW
TONIGHT... JUST A FORETASTE,
REALLY, WAS DANNY'S BIT THERE.
199
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,204
TONIGHT... JUST A FORETASTE,
REALLY, WAS DANNY'S BIT THERE.
THERE ARE SOME TREMENDOUS THINGS
200
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:42,806
REALLY, WAS DANNY'S BIT THERE.
THERE ARE SOME TREMENDOUS THINGS
TO COME.
201
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,474
THERE ARE SOME TREMENDOUS THINGS
TO COME.
AND I, YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO
202
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:45,809
TO COME.
AND I, YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO
CARRY ON, BUT JUST LET ME SAY
203
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,176
AND I, YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO
CARRY ON, BUT JUST LET ME SAY
THIS... WITH A SHOW AS GOOD AS
204
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,611
CARRY ON, BUT JUST LET ME SAY
THIS... WITH A SHOW AS GOOD AS
THIS, IT'S JUST A PITY THAT THEY
205
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,946
THIS... WITH A SHOW AS GOOD AS
THIS, IT'S JUST A PITY THAT THEY
COULDN'T HAVE RUN POSSIBLY TO
206
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:53,115
THIS, IT'S JUST A PITY THAT THEY
COULDN'T HAVE RUN POSSIBLY TO
SOMETHING IN THE HOSIERY AREA.
207
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,551
COULDN'T HAVE RUN POSSIBLY TO
SOMETHING IN THE HOSIERY AREA.
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE
208
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:55,485
SOMETHING IN THE HOSIERY AREA.
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE
BETTER, YOU KNOW.
209
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:56,786
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A LITTLE
BETTER, YOU KNOW.
NBC, RCA... THEY OWN MOST OF
210
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:57,353
BETTER, YOU KNOW.
NBC, RCA... THEY OWN MOST OF
AMERICA.
211
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:58,455
NBC, RCA... THEY OWN MOST OF
AMERICA.
YOU KNOW, THEY SEND ME BY
212
00:07:58,479 --> 00:07:58,955
AMERICA.
YOU KNOW, THEY SEND ME BY
CONCORDE.
213
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,289
YOU KNOW, THEY SEND ME BY
CONCORDE.
THEY SEND A LIMOUSINE, YOU KNOW,
214
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,357
CONCORDE.
THEY SEND A LIMOUSINE, YOU KNOW,
A LIMOUSINE WITH A STEREO,
215
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,525
THEY SEND A LIMOUSINE, YOU KNOW,
A LIMOUSINE WITH A STEREO,
GIN AND TONICS IN THE BACK.
216
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:03,660
A LIMOUSINE WITH A STEREO,
GIN AND TONICS IN THE BACK.
THEY TAKE ME TO THE HOTEL.
217
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:04,794
GIN AND TONICS IN THE BACK.
THEY TAKE ME TO THE HOTEL.
THEY DRIVE ME AROUND HERE.
218
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,062
THEY TAKE ME TO THE HOTEL.
THEY DRIVE ME AROUND HERE.
THEY GIVE ME A LOVELY DRESSING
219
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,363
THEY DRIVE ME AROUND HERE.
THEY GIVE ME A LOVELY DRESSING
ROOM WITH DRINKS AND EVERYTHING
220
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:08,565
THEY GIVE ME A LOVELY DRESSING
ROOM WITH DRINKS AND EVERYTHING
LIKE THAT AND CHEESE AND ALL
221
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:08,932
ROOM WITH DRINKS AND EVERYTHING
LIKE THAT AND CHEESE AND ALL
THAT.
222
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,066
LIKE THAT AND CHEESE AND ALL
THAT.
BUT, YEAH, I DON'T GET THE
223
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:10,467
THAT.
BUT, YEAH, I DON'T GET THE
SOCKS.
224
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:14,704
BUT, YEAH, I DON'T GET THE
SOCKS.
STILL...
225
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,072
SOCKS.
STILL...
YOU KNOW, I... IT'S JUST A PITY
226
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,173
STILL...
YOU KNOW, I... IT'S JUST A PITY
'CAUSE IT'S ALL SO GOOD.
227
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,141
YOU KNOW, I... IT'S JUST A PITY
'CAUSE IT'S ALL SO GOOD.
I WON'T SAY ANYMORE.
228
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,811
'CAUSE IT'S ALL SO GOOD.
I WON'T SAY ANYMORE.
JUST, UM, ENJOY THE SHOW, AND
229
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,596
I WON'T SAY ANYMORE.
JUST, UM, ENJOY THE SHOW, AND
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
230
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:50,940
[GROANING]
BOY, YOUR MOM SURE HAS A WAY
WITH BEANS AND FRANKS.
231
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:51,975
BOY, YOUR MOM SURE HAS A WAY
WITH BEANS AND FRANKS.
[GROANS]
232
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:52,909
WITH BEANS AND FRANKS.
[GROANS]
STUFFED.
233
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:53,810
[GROANS]
STUFFED.
ME, TOO.
234
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,778
STUFFED.
ME, TOO.
SOMETIMES I FEEL GUILTY HAVING
235
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,614
ME, TOO.
SOMETIMES I FEEL GUILTY HAVING
SO MUCH WHEN THERE'S SO MANY
236
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,649
SOMETIMES I FEEL GUILTY HAVING
SO MUCH WHEN THERE'S SO MANY
LITTLE CHILDREN OVER IN EUROPE,
237
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:00,349
SO MUCH WHEN THERE'S SO MANY
LITTLE CHILDREN OVER IN EUROPE,
STARVING.
238
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,951
LITTLE CHILDREN OVER IN EUROPE,
STARVING.
WELL, YOU KNOW, LISA, YOU
239
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,452
STARVING.
WELL, YOU KNOW, LISA, YOU
COULD USE A COUPLE OF CARE
240
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:04,988
WELL, YOU KNOW, LISA, YOU
COULD USE A COUPLE OF CARE
PACKAGES YOURSELF FOR YOUR
241
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,188
COULD USE A COUPLE OF CARE
PACKAGES YOURSELF FOR YOUR
DEPRESSED AREAS.
242
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,224
PACKAGES YOURSELF FOR YOUR
DEPRESSED AREAS.
SERIOUSLY, I GET DEPRESSED JUST
243
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,392
DEPRESSED AREAS.
SERIOUSLY, I GET DEPRESSED JUST
LOOKING AT THEM.
244
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,193
SERIOUSLY, I GET DEPRESSED JUST
LOOKING AT THEM.
YEAH, THAT'S SO FUNNY, I
245
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,395
LOOKING AT THEM.
YEAH, THAT'S SO FUNNY, I
FORGOT TO LAUGH.
246
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,730
YEAH, THAT'S SO FUNNY, I
FORGOT TO LAUGH.
UH-OH, NOOGIE AIRLIFT.
247
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:14,931
FORGOT TO LAUGH.
UH-OH, NOOGIE AIRLIFT.
OH, STOP IT, TODD.
248
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:16,198
UH-OH, NOOGIE AIRLIFT.
OH, STOP IT, TODD.
THERE'S SOME OF THOSE
249
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,567
OH, STOP IT, TODD.
THERE'S SOME OF THOSE
DESPERATELY NEEDED NOOGIES
250
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,201
THERE'S SOME OF THOSE
DESPERATELY NEEDED NOOGIES
DONATED BY THE SCHOOLCHILDREN OF
251
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,269
DESPERATELY NEEDED NOOGIES
DONATED BY THE SCHOOLCHILDREN OF
AMERICA RIGHT HERE.
252
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:21,070
DONATED BY THE SCHOOLCHILDREN OF
AMERICA RIGHT HERE.
[SNORTS]
253
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:21,604
AMERICA RIGHT HERE.
[SNORTS]
STOP.
254
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,305
[SNORTS]
STOP.
CUT IT... CUT IT OUT, PIZZA
255
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:23,873
STOP.
CUT IT... CUT IT OUT, PIZZA
FACE.
256
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,474
CUT IT... CUT IT OUT, PIZZA
FACE.
I WANT TO LOOK ALL RIGHT.
257
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:27,343
FACE.
I WANT TO LOOK ALL RIGHT.
MR. BRIGHTON'S COMING OVER FOR
258
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,477
I WANT TO LOOK ALL RIGHT.
MR. BRIGHTON'S COMING OVER FOR
MY PIANO LESSON.
259
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,579
MR. BRIGHTON'S COMING OVER FOR
MY PIANO LESSON.
MR. BRIGHTON.
260
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,147
MY PIANO LESSON.
MR. BRIGHTON.
[GAGS] WHAT A PERVERT.
261
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,949
MR. BRIGHTON.
[GAGS] WHAT A PERVERT.
HE'S NOT A PERVERT.
262
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:33,950
[GAGS] WHAT A PERVERT.
HE'S NOT A PERVERT.
HE'S AN ARTIST, AND HE'S
263
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:34,383
HE'S NOT A PERVERT.
HE'S AN ARTIST, AND HE'S
ENGLISH.
264
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,351
HE'S AN ARTIST, AND HE'S
ENGLISH.
YEAH, WELL, HE MAY BE
265
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,185
ENGLISH.
YEAH, WELL, HE MAY BE
ENGLISH, BUT HE HAS
266
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,253
YEAH, WELL, HE MAY BE
ENGLISH, BUT HE HAS
RUSSIAN [rushin'] HANDS AND
267
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,354
ENGLISH, BUT HE HAS
RUSSIAN [rushin'] HANDS AND
ROMAN [roamin'] FINGERS, MY
268
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:38,688
RUSSIAN [rushin'] HANDS AND
ROMAN [roamin'] FINGERS, MY
DEAR.
269
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:39,789
ROMAN [roamin'] FINGERS, MY
DEAR.
OH, STOP IT, TODD.
270
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,290
DEAR.
OH, STOP IT, TODD.
YOU'RE JUST THINKING ABOUT THE
271
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,725
OH, STOP IT, TODD.
YOU'RE JUST THINKING ABOUT THE
TIME WHEN HE TRIED TO KISS ME
272
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:43,593
YOU'RE JUST THINKING ABOUT THE
TIME WHEN HE TRIED TO KISS ME
AND EVERYTHING.
273
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,127
TIME WHEN HE TRIED TO KISS ME
AND EVERYTHING.
BUT THAT WAS ONLY 'CAUSE HE WAS
274
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,196
AND EVERYTHING.
BUT THAT WAS ONLY 'CAUSE HE WAS
SWEPT AWAY BY THE PASSION OF MY
275
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:47,964
BUT THAT WAS ONLY 'CAUSE HE WAS
SWEPT AWAY BY THE PASSION OF MY
PLAYING.
276
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,633
SWEPT AWAY BY THE PASSION OF MY
PLAYING.
[SNIFFLES]
277
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,869
PLAYING.
[SNIFFLES]
P.U.!
278
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,826
[SNIFFLES]
P.U.!
SOMEBODY CUT THE CHEESE.
279
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:08,017
STOP IT, TODD.
HE... HE, WHO SMELT IT DEALT IT.
YEAH.
280
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,386
HE... HE, WHO SMELT IT DEALT IT.
YEAH.
♪ AH, BEANS, BEANS,
281
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,454
YEAH.
♪ AH, BEANS, BEANS,
THE MUSICAL FRUIT ♪
282
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:12,521
♪ AH, BEANS, BEANS,
THE MUSICAL FRUIT ♪
♪ THE MORE YOU EAT, THE MORE
283
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:12,989
THE MUSICAL FRUIT ♪
♪ THE MORE YOU EAT, THE MORE
YOU PBHT! ♪
284
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,123
♪ THE MORE YOU EAT, THE MORE
YOU PBHT! ♪
SHUT UP, TODD, SHUT UP.
285
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,391
YOU PBHT! ♪
SHUT UP, TODD, SHUT UP.
WHY DON'T YOU LIGHT A MATCH OR
286
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:15,925
SHUT UP, TODD, SHUT UP.
WHY DON'T YOU LIGHT A MATCH OR
SOMETHING?
287
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:16,593
WHY DON'T YOU LIGHT A MATCH OR
SOMETHING?
ALL RIGHT.
288
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,794
SOMETHING?
ALL RIGHT.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
289
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,095
ALL RIGHT.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
OH, THERE HE IS.
290
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,930
[DOORBELL RINGS]
OH, THERE HE IS.
NOW, IF YOU EMBARRASS ME, I'LL
291
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,832
OH, THERE HE IS.
NOW, IF YOU EMBARRASS ME, I'LL
MURDERLIZE YOU.
292
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:27,103
NOW, IF YOU EMBARRASS ME, I'LL
MURDERLIZE YOU.
THE FOOT.
293
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,738
MURDERLIZE YOU.
THE FOOT.
HELLO, MR. BRIGHTON.
294
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:29,973
THE FOOT.
HELLO, MR. BRIGHTON.
HELLO, LISA.
295
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:31,808
HELLO, MR. BRIGHTON.
HELLO, LISA.
HOW'S MY FAVORITE PUPIL?
296
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:32,441
HELLO, LISA.
HOW'S MY FAVORITE PUPIL?
[LAUGHS]
297
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,509
HOW'S MY FAVORITE PUPIL?
[LAUGHS]
FINE, MR. BRIGHTON.
298
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,044
[LAUGHS]
FINE, MR. BRIGHTON.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR
299
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,479
FINE, MR. BRIGHTON.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR
MONEY ON PIANO LESSONS, LISA.
300
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:38,047
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR
MONEY ON PIANO LESSONS, LISA.
HERE, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO PLAY
301
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:38,547
MONEY ON PIANO LESSONS, LISA.
HERE, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO PLAY
BY EAR.
302
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:39,315
HERE, I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO PLAY
BY EAR.
LOOK AT THIS.
303
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,884
BY EAR.
LOOK AT THIS.
[PIANO PLAYING OFF-KEY]
304
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,019
LOOK AT THIS.
[PIANO PLAYING OFF-KEY]
MOM! MOM!
305
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,287
[PIANO PLAYING OFF-KEY]
MOM! MOM!
[OFF-KEY PLAYING CONTINUES]
306
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:47,090
MOM! MOM!
[OFF-KEY PLAYING CONTINUES]
TODD'S DOING IT AGAIN.
307
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,092
[OFF-KEY PLAYING CONTINUES]
TODD'S DOING IT AGAIN.
OH, TODD, DEAR, COULD YOU
308
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:51,160
TODD'S DOING IT AGAIN.
OH, TODD, DEAR, COULD YOU
COME DOWN TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM
309
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,162
OH, TODD, DEAR, COULD YOU
COME DOWN TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM
AND HELP ME FOLD THE CONTOUR
310
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,231
COME DOWN TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM
AND HELP ME FOLD THE CONTOUR
SHEETS?
311
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,615
AND HELP ME FOLD THE CONTOUR
SHEETS?
COMING, MRS. LOOPNER.
312
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:09,293
HERE, LISA, I BROUGHT THE
SHEET MUSIC YOU ASKED FOR.
OH, OH, "THE WAY WE WERE" BY
313
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,015
SHEET MUSIC YOU ASKED FOR.
OH, OH, "THE WAY WE WERE" BY
MY IDOL, MARVIN HAMLISCH.
314
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,182
OH, OH, "THE WAY WE WERE" BY
MY IDOL, MARVIN HAMLISCH.
[GASPS]
315
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:15,217
MY IDOL, MARVIN HAMLISCH.
[GASPS]
OH, DO YOU THINK... OH, DO YOU
316
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,253
[GASPS]
OH, DO YOU THINK... OH, DO YOU
THINK I COULD LEARN TO PLAY IT
317
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:18,955
OH, DO YOU THINK... OH, DO YOU
THINK I COULD LEARN TO PLAY IT
BY MY NEXT-WEEK RECITAL?
318
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,423
THINK I COULD LEARN TO PLAY IT
BY MY NEXT-WEEK RECITAL?
WELL, WE'D HAVE TO WORK VERY
319
00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:22,291
BY MY NEXT-WEEK RECITAL?
WELL, WE'D HAVE TO WORK VERY
CLOSELY.
320
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,761
WELL, WE'D HAVE TO WORK VERY
CLOSELY.
UH, LET ME JUST TRY IT RIGHT
321
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:25,361
CLOSELY.
UH, LET ME JUST TRY IT RIGHT
NOW.
322
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,564
UH, LET ME JUST TRY IT RIGHT
NOW.
I'LL START WORKING ON IT.
323
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:30,922
NOW.
I'LL START WORKING ON IT.
[PIANO PLAYING OFF-KEY]
324
00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:43,479
IS THAT GOOD, MR. BRIGHTON?
YES, LISA.
LISA...
325
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,315
YES, LISA.
LISA...
YOU STIR MY MANHOOD.
326
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:49,118
LISA...
YOU STIR MY MANHOOD.
WHAT, MR. BRIGHTON?
327
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,653
YOU STIR MY MANHOOD.
WHAT, MR. BRIGHTON?
[HACKING]
328
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:51,554
WHAT, MR. BRIGHTON?
[HACKING]
AH.
329
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,322
[HACKING]
AH.
[CLEARS THROAT]
330
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,191
AH.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU,
331
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,826
[CLEARS THROAT]
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU,
BUT THE MUSIC DREW ME LIKE
332
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:57,727
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU,
BUT THE MUSIC DREW ME LIKE
A MAGNET.
333
00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:00,063
BUT THE MUSIC DREW ME LIKE
A MAGNET.
AND I HAD TO ASK MYSELF, "ENID,
334
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,198
A MAGNET.
AND I HAD TO ASK MYSELF, "ENID,
IS THAT YOUR DAUGHTER, LISA,
335
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,933
AND I HAD TO ASK MYSELF, "ENID,
IS THAT YOUR DAUGHTER, LISA,
PLAYING OR IS THAT THE
336
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,069
IS THAT YOUR DAUGHTER, LISA,
PLAYING OR IS THAT THE
PIED PIPER OF HAMLISCH?"
337
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:07,336
PLAYING OR IS THAT THE
PIED PIPER OF HAMLISCH?"
[LAUGHTER]
338
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,705
PIED PIPER OF HAMLISCH?"
[LAUGHTER]
IF THERE'S ONE THING I LIKE
339
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:09,806
[LAUGHTER]
IF THERE'S ONE THING I LIKE
BETTER THAN FINE MUSIC,
340
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,140
IF THERE'S ONE THING I LIKE
BETTER THAN FINE MUSIC,
MRS. LOOPNER, IT'S BRILLIANT
341
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:11,507
BETTER THAN FINE MUSIC,
MRS. LOOPNER, IT'S BRILLIANT
WIT.
342
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,141
MRS. LOOPNER, IT'S BRILLIANT
WIT.
[LAUGHS]
343
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,475
WIT.
[LAUGHS]
OH, FLATTERY WILL GET YOU
344
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,644
[LAUGHS]
OH, FLATTERY WILL GET YOU
EVERYWHERE, MR. BRIGHTON.
345
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:19,615
OH, FLATTERY WILL GET YOU
EVERYWHERE, MR. BRIGHTON.
HELP, I CAN'T SEE.
346
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:20,883
EVERYWHERE, MR. BRIGHTON.
HELP, I CAN'T SEE.
THESE GOGGLES ARE DEFECTIVE
347
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:21,383
HELP, I CAN'T SEE.
THESE GOGGLES ARE DEFECTIVE
SOMEHOW.
348
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,384
THESE GOGGLES ARE DEFECTIVE
SOMEHOW.
I CAN'T SEE A THING.
349
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,954
SOMEHOW.
I CAN'T SEE A THING.
OH, TODD, YOUR BRAIN IS
350
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,189
I CAN'T SEE A THING.
OH, TODD, YOUR BRAIN IS
DEFECTIVE.
351
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,091
OH, TODD, YOUR BRAIN IS
DEFECTIVE.
AND BESIDES, THAT'S MY MOM'S
352
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:28,624
DEFECTIVE.
AND BESIDES, THAT'S MY MOM'S
BRA.
353
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,526
AND BESIDES, THAT'S MY MOM'S
BRA.
OH, OOPS, IT APPEARS I'VE
354
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,628
BRA.
OH, OOPS, IT APPEARS I'VE
MADE A GRAVE ERROR IN TASTE AND
355
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,197
OH, OOPS, IT APPEARS I'VE
MADE A GRAVE ERROR IN TASTE AND
JUDGMENT, MRS. LOOPNER.
356
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,265
MADE A GRAVE ERROR IN TASTE AND
JUDGMENT, MRS. LOOPNER.
40 LASHES WITH A WET NOODLE,
357
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,700
JUDGMENT, MRS. LOOPNER.
40 LASHES WITH A WET NOODLE,
YOUNG MAN.
358
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,268
40 LASHES WITH A WET NOODLE,
YOUNG MAN.
DON'T WORRY, MOM, I'LL MAKE
359
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:40,803
YOUNG MAN.
DON'T WORRY, MOM, I'LL MAKE
SURE HE PUTS IT BACK WHERE HE
360
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:41,403
DON'T WORRY, MOM, I'LL MAKE
SURE HE PUTS IT BACK WHERE HE
FOUND IT.
361
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,271
SURE HE PUTS IT BACK WHERE HE
FOUND IT.
COME ON, TODD.
362
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:43,773
FOUND IT.
COME ON, TODD.
GET OUT OF HERE.
363
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,075
COME ON, TODD.
GET OUT OF HERE.
OH, THOSE KIDS AND THEIR
364
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,678
GET OUT OF HERE.
OH, THOSE KIDS AND THEIR
HORMONES... THEY RUN ME RAGGED.
365
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,180
OH, THOSE KIDS AND THEIR
HORMONES... THEY RUN ME RAGGED.
PUBERTY ONLY KNOCKS ONCE,
366
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:51,647
HORMONES... THEY RUN ME RAGGED.
PUBERTY ONLY KNOCKS ONCE,
ENID.
367
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,082
PUBERTY ONLY KNOCKS ONCE,
ENID.
AND IF YOU'RE SMART, YOU'LL
368
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,683
ENID.
AND IF YOU'RE SMART, YOU'LL
INVITE IT IN AND GIVE IT A CUP
369
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:55,517
AND IF YOU'RE SMART, YOU'LL
INVITE IT IN AND GIVE IT A CUP
OF COFFEE.
370
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:57,153
INVITE IT IN AND GIVE IT A CUP
OF COFFEE.
OH, I GUESS I WAS OUT
371
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,788
OF COFFEE.
OH, I GUESS I WAS OUT
WHEN PUBERTY DROPPED BY.
372
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:02,125
OH, I GUESS I WAS OUT
WHEN PUBERTY DROPPED BY.
[BOTH LAUGH]
373
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,693
WHEN PUBERTY DROPPED BY.
[BOTH LAUGH]
OH, DID I EVER SHOW YOU THIS
374
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:07,363
[BOTH LAUGH]
OH, DID I EVER SHOW YOU THIS
PICTURE OF MY LATE HUSBAND,
375
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,464
OH, DID I EVER SHOW YOU THIS
PICTURE OF MY LATE HUSBAND,
MARSHALL?
376
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,632
PICTURE OF MY LATE HUSBAND,
MARSHALL?
[LAUGHS]
377
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:10,967
MARSHALL?
[LAUGHS]
GOD REST HIS SOUL.
378
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,668
[LAUGHS]
GOD REST HIS SOUL.
HERE WE ARE ON OUR THIRD
379
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:13,636
GOD REST HIS SOUL.
HERE WE ARE ON OUR THIRD
ANNIVERSARY.
380
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,738
HERE WE ARE ON OUR THIRD
ANNIVERSARY.
W-WHY IS HE CURLED UP IN THE
381
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,706
ANNIVERSARY.
W-WHY IS HE CURLED UP IN THE
DOGGIE BASKET LIKE THAT?
382
00:13:17,730 --> 00:13:20,042
W-WHY IS HE CURLED UP IN THE
DOGGIE BASKET LIKE THAT?
OH, THE LATE MR. LOOPNER WAS
383
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,811
DOGGIE BASKET LIKE THAT?
OH, THE LATE MR. LOOPNER WAS
BORN WITHOUT A SPINE.
384
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:25,414
OH, THE LATE MR. LOOPNER WAS
BORN WITHOUT A SPINE.
OH.
385
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,150
BORN WITHOUT A SPINE.
OH.
NO WONDER HE HAS THE POSTURE OF
386
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,151
OH.
NO WONDER HE HAS THE POSTURE OF
A BOILED SHRIMP.
387
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,518
NO WONDER HE HAS THE POSTURE OF
A BOILED SHRIMP.
[CHUCKLES]
388
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:32,054
A BOILED SHRIMP.
[CHUCKLES]
I-I MEAN, I SUPPOSE HE... I
389
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:34,523
[CHUCKLES]
I-I MEAN, I SUPPOSE HE... I
SUPPOSE HE DIDN'T GET MUCH
390
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:35,992
I-I MEAN, I SUPPOSE HE... I
SUPPOSE HE DIDN'T GET MUCH
EXERCISE.
391
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:39,195
SUPPOSE HE DIDN'T GET MUCH
EXERCISE.
OH, JUST A LITTLE YOGA.
392
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,362
EXERCISE.
OH, JUST A LITTLE YOGA.
ENID.
393
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:43,465
OH, JUST A LITTLE YOGA.
ENID.
ENID, STOP LIVING IN THE PAST.
394
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,934
ENID.
ENID, STOP LIVING IN THE PAST.
[LAUGHING] OH, WELL...
395
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,536
ENID, STOP LIVING IN THE PAST.
[LAUGHING] OH, WELL...
YOU'VE BEEN ALONE TOO LONG.
396
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,306
[LAUGHING] OH, WELL...
YOU'VE BEEN ALONE TOO LONG.
YOU'RE A WOMAN, ENID, A FEELING,
397
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,774
YOU'VE BEEN ALONE TOO LONG.
YOU'RE A WOMAN, ENID, A FEELING,
SENSUAL ANIMAL.
398
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,776
YOU'RE A WOMAN, ENID, A FEELING,
SENSUAL ANIMAL.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR NEEDS?
399
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,577
SENSUAL ANIMAL.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR NEEDS?
OH, I GET PLENTY OF IRON.
400
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,446
WHAT ABOUT YOUR NEEDS?
OH, I GET PLENTY OF IRON.
OH, ENID, COME OUT OF YOUR
401
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:58,047
OH, I GET PLENTY OF IRON.
OH, ENID, COME OUT OF YOUR
SHELL.
402
00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,348
OH, ENID, COME OUT OF YOUR
SHELL.
LET YOUR HAIR DOWN.
403
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,883
SHELL.
LET YOUR HAIR DOWN.
[Laughing] OH, NO.
404
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:04,053
LET YOUR HAIR DOWN.
[Laughing] OH, NO.
TAKE OFF THOSE GLASSES.
405
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,254
[Laughing] OH, NO.
TAKE OFF THOSE GLASSES.
ENID.
406
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,623
TAKE OFF THOSE GLASSES.
ENID.
ENID, YOU'RE...
407
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,691
ENID.
ENID, YOU'RE...
YOU'RE... SQUINTING.
408
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,092
ENID, YOU'RE...
YOU'RE... SQUINTING.
WELL, I CAN'T SEE A DARN
409
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:10,860
YOU'RE... SQUINTING.
WELL, I CAN'T SEE A DARN
THING.
410
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,095
WELL, I CAN'T SEE A DARN
THING.
OH, ENID, YOU STIR MY
411
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:14,096
THING.
OH, ENID, YOU STIR MY
MANHOOD.
412
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,097
OH, ENID, YOU STIR MY
MANHOOD.
[LAUGHING]
413
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:15,965
MANHOOD.
[LAUGHING]
NO, STOP!
414
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,366
[LAUGHING]
NO, STOP!
IS HE MOLESTING YOU,
415
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,301
NO, STOP!
IS HE MOLESTING YOU,
MRS. LOOPNER?
416
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:19,768
IS HE MOLESTING YOU,
MRS. LOOPNER?
MOM, ARE YOU OKAY?
417
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,270
MRS. LOOPNER?
MOM, ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, OH, RELAX, KID.
418
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,072
MOM, ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, OH, RELAX, KID.
IT'S JUST MR. BRIGHTON JUST
419
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:24,841
OH, OH, RELAX, KID.
IT'S JUST MR. BRIGHTON JUST
TRYING TO SHAKE MY HORMONES
420
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:25,441
IT'S JUST MR. BRIGHTON JUST
TRYING TO SHAKE MY HORMONES
LOOSE.
421
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:27,409
TRYING TO SHAKE MY HORMONES
LOOSE.
BUT DON'T WORRY... THEY'RE STILL
422
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,410
LOOSE.
BUT DON'T WORRY... THEY'RE STILL
STUCK.
423
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,279
BUT DON'T WORRY... THEY'RE STILL
STUCK.
HOW'D YOU DO?
424
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:35,084
STUCK.
HOW'D YOU DO?
DID YOU GET ANYTHING?
425
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,018
HOW'D YOU DO?
DID YOU GET ANYTHING?
I-I'M SORRY.
426
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,720
DID YOU GET ANYTHING?
I-I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.
427
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:38,955
I-I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.
I-I GOT CARRIED AWAY.
428
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,556
I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.
I-I GOT CARRIED AWAY.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
429
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:41,290
I-I GOT CARRIED AWAY.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT, MAN.
430
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:42,325
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT, MAN.
THESE LOOPNERS ARE
431
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,893
ABOUT, MAN.
THESE LOOPNERS ARE
DYNAMITE-LOOKING DAMES, REAL
432
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:44,426
THESE LOOPNERS ARE
DYNAMITE-LOOKING DAMES, REAL
LOOKERS.
433
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,995
DYNAMITE-LOOKING DAMES, REAL
LOOKERS.
IT'S HARD TO KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF
434
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:46,428
LOOKERS.
IT'S HARD TO KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF
THEM.
435
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:47,529
IT'S HARD TO KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF
THEM.
NO, IT'S NOT THEM.
436
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,597
THEM.
NO, IT'S NOT THEM.
THEY'RE NOT EVEN THAT
437
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:49,298
NO, IT'S NOT THEM.
THEY'RE NOT EVEN THAT
ATTRACTIVE.
438
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:49,832
THEY'RE NOT EVEN THAT
ATTRACTIVE.
IT'S ME.
439
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,268
ATTRACTIVE.
IT'S ME.
I'VE... I'VE NEVER TOLD YOU
440
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:55,037
IT'S ME.
I'VE... I'VE NEVER TOLD YOU
THIS, BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE
441
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,173
I'VE... I'VE NEVER TOLD YOU
THIS, BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE
THAT I KNOW IN AMERICA.
442
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,208
THIS, BUT YOU'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE
THAT I KNOW IN AMERICA.
LISA IS MY ONLY PUPIL.
443
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,377
THAT I KNOW IN AMERICA.
LISA IS MY ONLY PUPIL.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS,
444
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,012
LISA IS MY ONLY PUPIL.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS,
MR. BRIGHTON.
445
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:06,215
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS,
MR. BRIGHTON.
AT LEAST YOU HAVE A SPINE.
446
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,816
MR. BRIGHTON.
AT LEAST YOU HAVE A SPINE.
MR. BRIGHTON, I HAVE A
447
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,419
AT LEAST YOU HAVE A SPINE.
MR. BRIGHTON, I HAVE A
MUSICAL MESSAGE FOR YOU.
448
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,222
MR. BRIGHTON, I HAVE A
MUSICAL MESSAGE FOR YOU.
[CLEARS THROAT]
449
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,492
MUSICAL MESSAGE FOR YOU.
[CLEARS THROAT]
♪ ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER
450
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,928
[CLEARS THROAT]
♪ ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER
THAT YOU'LL EVER DO ♪
451
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,097
♪ ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER
THAT YOU'LL EVER DO ♪
♪ TWO CAN BE AS BAD AS ONE ♪
452
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,699
THAT YOU'LL EVER DO ♪
♪ TWO CAN BE AS BAD AS ONE ♪
♪ IT'S THE LONELIEST NUMBER
453
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,535
♪ TWO CAN BE AS BAD AS ONE ♪
♪ IT'S THE LONELIEST NUMBER
SINCE THE NUMBER ONE ♪
454
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:30,506
♪ IT'S THE LONELIEST NUMBER
SINCE THE NUMBER ONE ♪
♪ AH ♪
455
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,708
SINCE THE NUMBER ONE ♪
♪ AH ♪
YOU KNOW, TODD, YOU HAVE A
456
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:36,312
♪ AH ♪
YOU KNOW, TODD, YOU HAVE A
MUSICAL GIFT THAT'S VERY MOVING.
457
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:39,048
YOU KNOW, TODD, YOU HAVE A
MUSICAL GIFT THAT'S VERY MOVING.
IN FACT...
458
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:42,684
MUSICAL GIFT THAT'S VERY MOVING.
IN FACT...
YOU STIR MY MANHOOD, TODD.
459
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,387
IN FACT...
YOU STIR MY MANHOOD, TODD.
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED PIANO
460
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,971
YOU STIR MY MANHOOD, TODD.
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED PIANO
LESSONS?
461
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:12,148
GOOD EVENING, I'M JOAN FACE.
WELCOME AGAIN TO "WHAT IF?"
EACH WEEK ON THE SHOW, WE ASK A
462
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,849
WELCOME AGAIN TO "WHAT IF?"
EACH WEEK ON THE SHOW, WE ASK A
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION ABOUT A
463
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,384
EACH WEEK ON THE SHOW, WE ASK A
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION ABOUT A
SPECIFIC HISTORICAL EVENT.
464
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,219
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION ABOUT A
SPECIFIC HISTORICAL EVENT.
TONIGHT'S QUESTION, LIKE ALL OUR
465
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:18,620
SPECIFIC HISTORICAL EVENT.
TONIGHT'S QUESTION, LIKE ALL OUR
QUESTIONS, COMES FROM A
466
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,356
TONIGHT'S QUESTION, LIKE ALL OUR
QUESTIONS, COMES FROM A
MR. KEVIN O'DONNELL, AGE 10, A
467
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:22,624
QUESTIONS, COMES FROM A
MR. KEVIN O'DONNELL, AGE 10, A
PAPERBOY FROM ALTON, ILLINOIS.
468
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,827
MR. KEVIN O'DONNELL, AGE 10, A
PAPERBOY FROM ALTON, ILLINOIS.
KEVIN ASKS, "WHAT IF SUPERMAN
469
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,029
PAPERBOY FROM ALTON, ILLINOIS.
KEVIN ASKS, "WHAT IF SUPERMAN
GREW UP IN GERMANY INSTEAD OF
470
00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:27,629
KEVIN ASKS, "WHAT IF SUPERMAN
GREW UP IN GERMANY INSTEAD OF
AMERICA?"
471
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,031
GREW UP IN GERMANY INSTEAD OF
AMERICA?"
WITH US TO HELP ANSWER THIS
472
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:30,299
AMERICA?"
WITH US TO HELP ANSWER THIS
QUESTION IS OUR PANEL OF
473
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,499
WITH US TO HELP ANSWER THIS
QUESTION IS OUR PANEL OF
EXPERTS.
474
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,124
TONIGHT, BRIGADIER GENERAL
475
00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:34,325
KEVIN TEMPLE FROM
476
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:36,060
EDWARDS AIR FORCE BASE AND
477
00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:37,428
EILEEN HOUTON, PROFESSOR OF
478
00:16:37,562 --> 00:16:38,396
MODERN HISTORY AT
479
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:39,530
WELLESLEY COLLEGE AND
480
00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:40,865
OWNER OF ONE OF THE LARGEST
481
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,333
COMIC-BOOK COLLECTIONS IN THE
482
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:44,268
UNITED STATES.
483
00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:49,118
PROFESSOR HOUTON, WHAT IF
SUPERMAN GREW UP IN GERMANY
INSTEAD OF AMERICA?
484
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,853
SUPERMAN GREW UP IN GERMANY
INSTEAD OF AMERICA?
WELL, JOAN, AS YOU KNOW,
485
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,855
INSTEAD OF AMERICA?
WELL, JOAN, AS YOU KNOW,
SUPERMAN'S FATHER, JOR-EL, SENT
486
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,656
WELL, JOAN, AS YOU KNOW,
SUPERMAN'S FATHER, JOR-EL, SENT
THE INFANT SUPERMAN FROM THE
487
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,292
SUPERMAN'S FATHER, JOR-EL, SENT
THE INFANT SUPERMAN FROM THE
PLANET KRYPTON TOWARD EARTH,
488
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,826
THE INFANT SUPERMAN FROM THE
PLANET KRYPTON TOWARD EARTH,
WHERE HE LANDED IN KANSAS
489
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,962
PLANET KRYPTON TOWARD EARTH,
WHERE HE LANDED IN KANSAS
SOMETIME AROUND 1930.
490
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:02,164
WHERE HE LANDED IN KANSAS
SOMETIME AROUND 1930.
SUPERMAN ADOPTED THE VALUES HELD
491
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,333
SOMETIME AROUND 1930.
SUPERMAN ADOPTED THE VALUES HELD
BY HIS NEW PARENTS, THE KENTS...
492
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,535
SUPERMAN ADOPTED THE VALUES HELD
BY HIS NEW PARENTS, THE KENTS...
TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN
493
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,136
BY HIS NEW PARENTS, THE KENTS...
TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN
WAY.
494
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,338
TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN
WAY.
NOW, HAD HE LANDED IN, SAY,
495
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,740
WAY.
NOW, HAD HE LANDED IN, SAY,
PRUSSIA, HE WOULD HAVE ADOPTED
496
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:13,842
NOW, HAD HE LANDED IN, SAY,
PRUSSIA, HE WOULD HAVE ADOPTED
ENTIRELY DIFFERENT VALUES.
497
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,644
PRUSSIA, HE WOULD HAVE ADOPTED
ENTIRELY DIFFERENT VALUES.
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT
498
00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:17,446
ENTIRELY DIFFERENT VALUES.
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT
THE YOUNG SUPERMAN MAY WELL HAVE
499
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:18,381
SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT
THE YOUNG SUPERMAN MAY WELL HAVE
BECOME A NAZI.
500
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:19,148
THE YOUNG SUPERMAN MAY WELL HAVE
BECOME A NAZI.
EXACTLY.
501
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:20,949
BECOME A NAZI.
EXACTLY.
OF COURSE, WE SHOULD REMEMBER
502
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:22,618
EXACTLY.
OF COURSE, WE SHOULD REMEMBER
THAT AT THE TIME SUPERMAN WAS
503
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,420
OF COURSE, WE SHOULD REMEMBER
THAT AT THE TIME SUPERMAN WAS
REACHING MANHOOD, GERMANY WAS AT
504
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,988
THAT AT THE TIME SUPERMAN WAS
REACHING MANHOOD, GERMANY WAS AT
WAR WITH THE UNITED STATES.
505
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,123
REACHING MANHOOD, GERMANY WAS AT
WAR WITH THE UNITED STATES.
GENERAL, WHAT WOULD HAVE
506
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,590
WAR WITH THE UNITED STATES.
GENERAL, WHAT WOULD HAVE
HAPPENED IF THE MAN OF STEEL HAD
507
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:29,858
GENERAL, WHAT WOULD HAVE
HAPPENED IF THE MAN OF STEEL HAD
FOUGHT FOR THE THIRD REICH?
508
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,027
HAPPENED IF THE MAN OF STEEL HAD
FOUGHT FOR THE THIRD REICH?
SAY, WAIT A MINUTE.
509
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,361
FOUGHT FOR THE THIRD REICH?
SAY, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHY DIDN'T SUPERMAN FIGHT FOR
510
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:32,694
SAY, WAIT A MINUTE.
WHY DIDN'T SUPERMAN FIGHT FOR
US?
511
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:33,396
WHY DIDN'T SUPERMAN FIGHT FOR
US?
[LAUGHS]
512
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,630
US?
[LAUGHS]
NO, THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL
513
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:35,531
[LAUGHS]
NO, THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL
QUESTION, GENERAL.
514
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,865
NO, THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL
QUESTION, GENERAL.
OH, YEAH, YEAH, I'M SORRY,
515
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,234
QUESTION, GENERAL.
OH, YEAH, YEAH, I'M SORRY,
I'M SORRY.
516
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,168
OH, YEAH, YEAH, I'M SORRY,
I'M SORRY.
UM...
517
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,702
I'M SORRY.
UM...
WELL, HERE'S TONIGHT'S
518
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,271
UM...
WELL, HERE'S TONIGHT'S
DRAMATIZATION OF "WHAT IF
519
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:43,906
WELL, HERE'S TONIGHT'S
DRAMATIZATION OF "WHAT IF
SUPERMAN GREW UP IN GERMANY
520
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,810
DRAMATIZATION OF "WHAT IF
SUPERMAN GREW UP IN GERMANY
INSTEAD OF AMERICA?"
521
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,879
NEIN, GERMAN SOLDIERS WILL
522
00:18:02,013 --> 00:18:04,848
NEVER RETREAT FROM STALINGRAD.
523
00:18:04,983 --> 00:18:07,017
THE RUSSIANS ARE SWINE... JUST
524
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:09,120
ONE STEP ABOVE THE POLES, TWO
525
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,255
STEPS ABOVE THE GYPSIES, FOUR
526
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:13,291
STEPS ABOVE THE HOMOSEXUALS,
527
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,526
FIVE AND A HALF STEPS ABOVE THE
528
00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:17,628
NEGROES, NINE STEPS ABOVE THE
529
00:18:17,762 --> 00:18:19,630
DWARVES, 15 STEPS ABOVE THE
530
00:18:19,764 --> 00:18:21,932
GYPSY HOMOSEXUALS, 27 STEPS
531
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:24,302
ABOVE NEGRO-GYPSY-HOMOSEXUAL
532
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:28,038
POLES, AND 43 STEPS ABOVE THE
533
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:29,173
JEWS.
534
00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:37,193
DID I MENTION THE HOMOSEXUAL
JEWS?
RIGHT, THE MEETING IS OVER.
535
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:41,263
JEWS?
RIGHT, THE MEETING IS OVER.
All: HEIL, HITLER.
536
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,631
RIGHT, THE MEETING IS OVER.
All: HEIL, HITLER.
WE MEET NEXT WEEK.
537
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,800
All: HEIL, HITLER.
WE MEET NEXT WEEK.
AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY BAD
538
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:45,167
WE MEET NEXT WEEK.
AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY BAD
NEWS.
539
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:45,734
AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY BAD
NEWS.
JA, JA.
540
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:46,302
NEWS.
JA, JA.
OH, JA.
541
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,336
JA, JA.
OH, JA.
GOOD DAY, MEIN FUHRER.
542
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,337
OH, JA.
GOOD DAY, MEIN FUHRER.
GOOD DAY, GOOD DAY.
543
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:51,207
GOOD DAY, MEIN FUHRER.
GOOD DAY, GOOD DAY.
ALL RIGHT.
544
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:53,409
GOOD DAY, GOOD DAY.
ALL RIGHT.
FRAU GUSTON, WHO IS WAITING TO
545
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,176
ALL RIGHT.
FRAU GUSTON, WHO IS WAITING TO
SEE ME?
546
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,544
FRAU GUSTON, WHO IS WAITING TO
SEE ME?
A WERNHER VON BRAUN,
547
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,446
SEE ME?
A WERNHER VON BRAUN,
COLONEL KLINK, AND THOSE THREE
548
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,448
A WERNHER VON BRAUN,
COLONEL KLINK, AND THOSE THREE
REPORTERS FROM THE DAILY PLANET.
549
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,083
COLONEL KLINK, AND THOSE THREE
REPORTERS FROM THE DAILY PLANET.JAWOHL, SEND IN THE
550
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:05,921
REPORTERS FROM THE DAILY PLANET.JAWOHL, SEND IN THE
REPORTERS.
551
00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:07,356
JAWOHL, SEND IN THE
REPORTERS.
All: HEIL, HITLER.
552
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:08,724
REPORTERS.
All: HEIL, HITLER.
HEIL, HITLER.
553
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,427
All: HEIL, HITLER.
HEIL, HITLER.
WELL...
554
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,061
HEIL, HITLER.
WELL...
I WISH TO PERSONALLY PRAISE YOUR
555
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:14,263
WELL...
I WISH TO PERSONALLY PRAISE YOUR
PROPAGANDA WORK IN THE
556
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:14,930
I WISH TO PERSONALLY PRAISE YOUR
PROPAGANDA WORK IN THE
NEWSPAPER.
557
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:15,931
PROPAGANDA WORK IN THE
NEWSPAPER.
YOU MUST BE, UH...
558
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:18,000
NEWSPAPER.
YOU MUST BE, UH...
LOIS LANE-OFF, MEIN FUHRER.
559
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:18,734
YOU MUST BE, UH...
LOIS LANE-OFF, MEIN FUHRER.
MMM.
560
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,736
LOIS LANE-OFF, MEIN FUHRER.
MMM.
UND THIS IS JIMMY OLSTEYN.
561
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:21,803
MMM.
UND THIS IS JIMMY OLSTEYN.
OLSTEIN?
562
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,572
UND THIS IS JIMMY OLSTEYN.
OLSTEIN?
E-Y-N, MEIN FUHRER.
563
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,941
OLSTEIN?
E-Y-N, MEIN FUHRER.
DUTCH ANCESTORS ON THE FATHER'S
564
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:26,575
E-Y-N, MEIN FUHRER.
DUTCH ANCESTORS ON THE FATHER'S
SIDE.
565
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:27,309
DUTCH ANCESTORS ON THE FATHER'S
SIDE.
AH.
566
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,345
SIDE.
AH.
UND THIS IS KLAUS KENT.
567
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,579
AH.
UND THIS IS KLAUS KENT.
KLAUS KENT?
568
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:32,314
UND THIS IS KLAUS KENT.
KLAUS KENT?
ARE YOU THE MAN WHO BEAT
569
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,715
KLAUS KENT?
ARE YOU THE MAN WHO BEAT
JESSE OWENS IN '36?
570
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:34,916
ARE YOU THE MAN WHO BEAT
JESSE OWENS IN '36?
JA.
571
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:35,551
JESSE OWENS IN '36?
JA.
OH...
572
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:36,485
JA.
OH...
YOU, KLAUS?
573
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,154
OH...
YOU, KLAUS?
YOU'RE SUCH A CLUMSY BUMBLER.
574
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,788
YOU, KLAUS?
YOU'RE SUCH A CLUMSY BUMBLER.
WELL, LOIS, I WAS YOUNGER
575
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:40,289
YOU'RE SUCH A CLUMSY BUMBLER.
WELL, LOIS, I WAS YOUNGER
THEN.
576
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,923
WELL, LOIS, I WAS YOUNGER
THEN.
NOW I'M JUST A MILD-MANNERED
577
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:43,392
THEN.
NOW I'M JUST A MILD-MANNERED
CLERK FOR THE MINISTRY OF
578
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,794
NOW I'M JUST A MILD-MANNERED
CLERK FOR THE MINISTRY OF
PROPAGANDA.
579
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,751
CLERK FOR THE MINISTRY OF
PROPAGANDA.
[TICKING]
580
00:19:57,329 --> 00:20:01,377
EXCUSE ME, MEIN FUHRER, IS THAT
A JANITOR'S CLOSET?
JA.
581
00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,441
A JANITOR'S CLOSET?
JA.
EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT.
582
00:20:11,042 --> 00:20:19,042
[WHIRRING]
MY SON.
MY SON.
583
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:22,231
MY SON.
MY SON.
I AM YOUR FATHER, JOR-EL.
584
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,200
MY SON.
I AM YOUR FATHER, JOR-EL.
YOUR MOTHER AND I SENT YOU TO
585
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,202
I AM YOUR FATHER, JOR-EL.
YOUR MOTHER AND I SENT YOU TO
EARTH AS THE ONLY SURVIVOR OF
586
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,769
YOUR MOTHER AND I SENT YOU TO
EARTH AS THE ONLY SURVIVOR OF
OUR PLANET, KRYPTON.
587
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,805
EARTH AS THE ONLY SURVIVOR OF
OUR PLANET, KRYPTON.
AS YOU HEAR THIS, I WILL HAVE
588
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:31,540
OUR PLANET, KRYPTON.
AS YOU HEAR THIS, I WILL HAVE
BEEN DEAD MANY CENTURIES.
589
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,175
AS YOU HEAR THIS, I WILL HAVE
BEEN DEAD MANY CENTURIES.
BUT I WILL BE REBORN AS
590
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:37,313
BEEN DEAD MANY CENTURIES.
BUT I WILL BE REBORN AS
CHARLIE RICH.
591
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,880
BUT I WILL BE REBORN AS
CHARLIE RICH.
ON THE PLANET EARTH, YOU WILL
592
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,216
CHARLIE RICH.
ON THE PLANET EARTH, YOU WILL
HAVE SPECIAL POWERS AND
593
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,783
ON THE PLANET EARTH, YOU WILL
HAVE SPECIAL POWERS AND
KNOWLEDGE WHICH WILL SEPARATE
594
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:44,353
HAVE SPECIAL POWERS AND
KNOWLEDGE WHICH WILL SEPARATE
YOU FROM MANKIND.
595
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,922
KNOWLEDGE WHICH WILL SEPARATE
YOU FROM MANKIND.
USE THESE POWERS ONLY FOR GOOD.
596
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:49,358
YOU FROM MANKIND.
USE THESE POWERS ONLY FOR GOOD.
AND ABOVE ALL, YOU MUST NEVER
597
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,927
USE THESE POWERS ONLY FOR GOOD.
AND ABOVE ALL, YOU MUST NEVER
TAMPER WITH THE DESTINY OF MAN.
598
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:57,799
AND ABOVE ALL, YOU MUST NEVER
TAMPER WITH THE DESTINY OF MAN.
AND DON'T EAT JUNK FOOD.
599
00:20:57,823 --> 00:21:02,104
TAMPER WITH THE DESTINY OF MAN.
AND DON'T EAT JUNK FOOD.
[WHIRRING]
600
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:03,805
AND DON'T EAT JUNK FOOD.
[WHIRRING]
MY SON, WHEN YOUR SURROGATE
601
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,608
[WHIRRING]
MY SON, WHEN YOUR SURROGATE
MOTHER AND I FOUND YOU IN THE
602
00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:07,476
MY SON, WHEN YOUR SURROGATE
MOTHER AND I FOUND YOU IN THE
BLACK FOREST, WE RAISED YOU AS
603
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,176
MOTHER AND I FOUND YOU IN THE
BLACK FOREST, WE RAISED YOU AS
OUR OWN.
604
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,145
BLACK FOREST, WE RAISED YOU AS
OUR OWN.
WE TAUGHT YOU HOW THE FATHERLAND
605
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,780
OUR OWN.
WE TAUGHT YOU HOW THE FATHERLAND
WAS STABBED IN THE BACK AT
606
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,315
WE TAUGHT YOU HOW THE FATHERLAND
WAS STABBED IN THE BACK AT
VERSAILLES, HOW JEWS ARE
607
00:21:13,339 --> 00:21:15,251
WAS STABBED IN THE BACK AT
VERSAILLES, HOW JEWS ARE
PARASITES, AND HOW GERMANY WILL
608
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:16,918
VERSAILLES, HOW JEWS ARE
PARASITES, AND HOW GERMANY WILL
ONE DAY BRING ORDER TO THE
609
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:17,486
PARASITES, AND HOW GERMANY WILL
ONE DAY BRING ORDER TO THE
WORLD.
610
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,421
ONE DAY BRING ORDER TO THE
WORLD.
AND DON'T, SON, EVER LIFT THOSE
611
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,189
WORLD.
AND DON'T, SON, EVER LIFT THOSE
VOLKSWAGENS BY THE BUMPER...
612
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:25,961
AND DON'T, SON, EVER LIFT THOSE
VOLKSWAGENS BY THE BUMPER...
COME RIGHT OFF IN YOUR HANDS.
613
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:27,630
VOLKSWAGENS BY THE BUMPER...
COME RIGHT OFF IN YOUR HANDS.
JA, HE'S RIGHT.
614
00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:30,065
COME RIGHT OFF IN YOUR HANDS.
JA, HE'S RIGHT.
I WILL USE MY POWERS FOR THE
615
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:31,233
JA, HE'S RIGHT.
I WILL USE MY POWERS FOR THE
FATHERLAND.
616
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:36,171
I WILL USE MY POWERS FOR THE
FATHERLAND.
FOR I AM...
617
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:38,340
FATHERLAND.
FOR I AM...
UBERMAN.
618
00:21:38,364 --> 00:21:40,298
FOR I AM...
UBERMAN.
["THEME FROM SUPERMAN" PLAYS]
619
00:21:44,869 --> 00:21:48,049
UBERMAN.
EXCUSE ME, MEIN FUHRER.
STAND BACK.
620
00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:49,451
EXCUSE ME, MEIN FUHRER.
STAND BACK.
THERE'S A BOMB IN THIS
621
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:50,252
STAND BACK.
THERE'S A BOMB IN THIS
BRIEFCASE.
622
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:53,555
THERE'S A BOMB IN THIS
BRIEFCASE.
OH, NOT AGAIN.
623
00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:55,513
BRIEFCASE.
OH, NOT AGAIN.
[BOOM!]
624
00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:07,670
MY GOD.
[LAUGHTER]
AH!
625
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:09,371
[LAUGHTER]
AH!
ALL OF YOU IS UBERMAN!
626
00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:11,106
AH!
ALL OF YOU IS UBERMAN!
YOU SMOTHERED THE BOMB WITH YOUR
627
00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:11,573
ALL OF YOU IS UBERMAN!
YOU SMOTHERED THE BOMB WITH YOUR
BODY.
628
00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:13,175
YOU SMOTHERED THE BOMB WITH YOUR
BODY.
AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN BLEEDING.
629
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:13,975
BODY.
AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN BLEEDING.
WHO ARE YOU?
630
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,277
AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN BLEEDING.
WHO ARE YOU?
I AM UBERMAN.
631
00:22:15,301 --> 00:22:17,513
WHO ARE YOU?
I AM UBERMAN.
I HAVE SUPERHUMAN POWERS, AND I
632
00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:19,615
I AM UBERMAN.
I HAVE SUPERHUMAN POWERS, AND I
FIGHT FOR UNTRUTH, INJUSTICE,
633
00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:22,418
I HAVE SUPERHUMAN POWERS, AND I
FIGHT FOR UNTRUTH, INJUSTICE,
AND THE NAZI WAY.
634
00:22:22,442 --> 00:22:24,586
FIGHT FOR UNTRUTH, INJUSTICE,
AND THE NAZI WAY.
AND I HAVE X-RAY VISION.
635
00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:26,288
AND THE NAZI WAY.
AND I HAVE X-RAY VISION.
X-RAY VISION?
636
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:28,990
AND I HAVE X-RAY VISION.
X-RAY VISION?
CAN YOU SEE THROUGH MY CLOTHES?
637
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:29,758
X-RAY VISION?
CAN YOU SEE THROUGH MY CLOTHES?
JA.
638
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:31,560
CAN YOU SEE THROUGH MY CLOTHES?
JA.
AND THROUGH HIS, TOO.
639
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:33,517
JA.
AND THROUGH HIS, TOO.
HE'S A JEW.
640
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:46,675
NO, NO, IT'S NOT TRUE.
MY PARENTS JUST WERE VERY
ADVANCED IN HYGIENE, THAT'S ALL.
641
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:47,843
MY PARENTS JUST WERE VERY
ADVANCED IN HYGIENE, THAT'S ALL.
SILENCE!
642
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,212
ADVANCED IN HYGIENE, THAT'S ALL.
SILENCE!
GUARDS, TAKE THIS JEW AWAY.
643
00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:50,912
SILENCE!
GUARDS, TAKE THIS JEW AWAY.
NO NEED.
644
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:52,581
GUARDS, TAKE THIS JEW AWAY.
NO NEED.
I'LL DROP HIM OFF AT THE CAMP ON
645
00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:55,445
NO NEED.
I'LL DROP HIM OFF AT THE CAMP ON
MY WAY TO THE EASTERN FRONT.
646
00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:03,359
[WHOOSH!]
WHAT AN AMAZING STROKE OF
LUCK.
647
00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,983
WHAT AN AMAZING STROKE OF
LUCK.
WE MIGHT WIN THIS WAR AFTER ALL.
648
00:23:34,379 --> 00:23:37,526
WELL, THAT LOOKED PRETTY
GRIM.
I GUESS WE WOULD HAVE LOST THE
649
00:23:37,550 --> 00:23:38,026
GRIM.
I GUESS WE WOULD HAVE LOST THE
WAR.
650
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:39,628
I GUESS WE WOULD HAVE LOST THE
WAR.
NOT NECESSARILY, JOAN.
651
00:23:39,652 --> 00:23:41,263
WAR.
NOT NECESSARILY, JOAN.
AS YOU KNOW, SUPERMAN, OR
652
00:23:41,287 --> 00:23:43,699
NOT NECESSARILY, JOAN.
AS YOU KNOW, SUPERMAN, OR
UBERMAN, IS VULNERABLE TO ONE
653
00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:45,467
AS YOU KNOW, SUPERMAN, OR
UBERMAN, IS VULNERABLE TO ONE
THING... KRYPTONITE.
654
00:23:45,491 --> 00:23:47,269
UBERMAN, IS VULNERABLE TO ONE
THING... KRYPTONITE.
THE U.S. WOULD HAVE PUT ALL ITS
655
00:23:47,293 --> 00:23:49,137
THING... KRYPTONITE.
THE U.S. WOULD HAVE PUT ALL ITS
ENERGY INTO DEVELOPING A KRYPTON
656
00:23:49,161 --> 00:23:51,039
THE U.S. WOULD HAVE PUT ALL ITS
ENERGY INTO DEVELOPING A KRYPTON
BOMB IN TIME TO STOP UBERMAN.
657
00:23:51,063 --> 00:23:52,974
ENERGY INTO DEVELOPING A KRYPTON
BOMB IN TIME TO STOP UBERMAN.
AND AFTER THE WAR, WITH THE
658
00:23:52,998 --> 00:23:54,843
BOMB IN TIME TO STOP UBERMAN.
AND AFTER THE WAR, WITH THE
BRITISH ISLES ENTIRELY WIPED
659
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:56,879
AND AFTER THE WAR, WITH THE
BRITISH ISLES ENTIRELY WIPED
OUT, IT MAY WELL HAVE BECOME THE
660
00:23:56,903 --> 00:23:58,680
BRITISH ISLES ENTIRELY WIPED
OUT, IT MAY WELL HAVE BECOME THE
JEWISH HOMELAND, AND ISRAEL
661
00:23:58,704 --> 00:24:00,516
OUT, IT MAY WELL HAVE BECOME THE
JEWISH HOMELAND, AND ISRAEL
WOULD BE IN ENGLAND TODAY.
662
00:24:00,540 --> 00:24:02,418
JEWISH HOMELAND, AND ISRAEL
WOULD BE IN ENGLAND TODAY.
AH, WELL, THANK YOU VERY
663
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:03,952
WOULD BE IN ENGLAND TODAY.
AH, WELL, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH, GENERAL TEMPLE,
664
00:24:03,976 --> 00:24:05,253
AH, WELL, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH, GENERAL TEMPLE,
PROFESSOR HOUTON.
665
00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:07,355
MUCH, GENERAL TEMPLE,
PROFESSOR HOUTON.
JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN WE POSE
666
00:24:07,379 --> 00:24:09,491
PROFESSOR HOUTON.
JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN WE POSE
THE QUESTION "WHAT IF ALL WOMEN
667
00:24:09,515 --> 00:24:11,026
JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN WE POSE
THE QUESTION "WHAT IF ALL WOMEN
HAD SCHNAUZER FACES?"
668
00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:13,570
THE QUESTION "WHAT IF ALL WOMEN
HAD SCHNAUZER FACES?"
GOOD NIGHT.
669
00:24:28,299 --> 00:24:34,450
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE
DOOBIE BROTHERS!
1.2.1, 2...
670
00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:37,407
DOOBIE BROTHERS!
1.2.1, 2...
["WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES" PLAYS]
671
00:24:49,253 --> 00:24:57,105
♪ SHE CAME FROM SOMEWHERE
BACK IN HER LONG AGO ♪
♪ SENTIMENTAL FOOL DON'T SEE ♪
672
00:24:57,129 --> 00:24:59,140
BACK IN HER LONG AGO ♪
♪ SENTIMENTAL FOOL DON'T SEE ♪
♪ TRYIN' HARD TO RE-CREATE ♪
673
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:02,644
♪ SENTIMENTAL FOOL DON'T SEE ♪
♪ TRYIN' HARD TO RE-CREATE ♪
♪ WHAT HAD YET TO BE CREATED
674
00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:04,412
♪ TRYIN' HARD TO RE-CREATE ♪
♪ WHAT HAD YET TO BE CREATED
ONCE IN HER LIFE ♪
675
00:25:04,436 --> 00:25:07,349
♪ WHAT HAD YET TO BE CREATED
ONCE IN HER LIFE ♪
♪ SHE MUSTERS A SMILE FOR HIS
676
00:25:07,373 --> 00:25:10,486
ONCE IN HER LIFE ♪
♪ SHE MUSTERS A SMILE FOR HIS
NOSTALGIC TALE ♪
677
00:25:10,510 --> 00:25:11,954
♪ SHE MUSTERS A SMILE FOR HIS
NOSTALGIC TALE ♪
♪ NEVER COMING NEAR
678
00:25:11,978 --> 00:25:14,723
NOSTALGIC TALE ♪
♪ NEVER COMING NEAR
WHAT THEY WANTED TO SAY ♪
679
00:25:14,747 --> 00:25:18,794
♪ NEVER COMING NEAR
WHAT THEY WANTED TO SAY ♪
♪ ONLY TO REALIZE IT NEVER
680
00:25:18,818 --> 00:25:21,062
WHAT THEY WANTED TO SAY ♪
♪ ONLY TO REALIZE IT NEVER
REALLY WAS ♪
681
00:25:21,086 --> 00:25:29,086
♪ ONLY TO REALIZE IT NEVER
REALLY WAS ♪
♪ SHE HAD A PLACE IN HIS LIFE ♪
682
00:25:29,128 --> 00:25:33,742
REALLY WAS ♪
♪ SHE HAD A PLACE IN HIS LIFE ♪
♪ HE NEVER MADE HER THINK
683
00:25:33,766 --> 00:25:35,911
♪ SHE HAD A PLACE IN HIS LIFE ♪
♪ HE NEVER MADE HER THINK
TWICE ♪
684
00:25:35,935 --> 00:25:39,548
♪ HE NEVER MADE HER THINK
TWICE ♪
♪ AS HE RISES TO HER APOLOGY ♪
685
00:25:39,572 --> 00:25:42,484
TWICE ♪
♪ AS HE RISES TO HER APOLOGY ♪
♪ ANYBODY ELSE WOULD SURELY
686
00:25:42,508 --> 00:25:45,353
♪ AS HE RISES TO HER APOLOGY ♪
♪ ANYBODY ELSE WOULD SURELY
KNOW ♪
687
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:48,724
♪ ANYBODY ELSE WOULD SURELY
KNOW ♪
♪ HE'S WATCHING HER GO ♪
688
00:25:48,748 --> 00:25:53,495
KNOW ♪
♪ HE'S WATCHING HER GO ♪
♪ WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES ♪
689
00:25:53,519 --> 00:25:55,998
♪ HE'S WATCHING HER GO ♪
♪ WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES ♪
♪ HE SEES ♪
690
00:25:56,022 --> 00:26:00,669
♪ WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES ♪
♪ HE SEES ♪
♪ NO WISE MAN HAS THE POWER ♪
691
00:26:00,693 --> 00:26:05,073
♪ HE SEES ♪
♪ NO WISE MAN HAS THE POWER ♪
♪ TO REASON AWAY ♪
692
00:26:05,097 --> 00:26:11,446
♪ NO WISE MAN HAS THE POWER ♪
♪ TO REASON AWAY ♪
♪ WHAT SEEMS TO BE ♪
693
00:26:11,470 --> 00:26:13,348
♪ TO REASON AWAY ♪
♪ WHAT SEEMS TO BE ♪
♪ IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN
694
00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:16,151
♪ WHAT SEEMS TO BE ♪
♪ IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN
NOTHING ♪
695
00:26:16,175 --> 00:26:19,755
♪ IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN
NOTHING ♪
♪ AND NOTHING AT ALL ♪
696
00:26:19,779 --> 00:26:22,157
NOTHING ♪
♪ AND NOTHING AT ALL ♪
♪ KEEPS SENDING HIM SOMEWHERE
697
00:26:22,181 --> 00:26:25,994
♪ AND NOTHING AT ALL ♪
♪ KEEPS SENDING HIM SOMEWHERE
BACK IN HER LONG AGO ♪
698
00:26:26,018 --> 00:26:27,629
♪ KEEPS SENDING HIM SOMEWHERE
BACK IN HER LONG AGO ♪
♪ WHERE HE CAN STILL BELIEVE
699
00:26:27,653 --> 00:26:30,098
BACK IN HER LONG AGO ♪
♪ WHERE HE CAN STILL BELIEVE
THERE'S A PLACE IN HER LIFE ♪
700
00:26:30,122 --> 00:26:34,670
♪ WHERE HE CAN STILL BELIEVE
THERE'S A PLACE IN HER LIFE ♪
♪ SOMEDAY, SOMEWHERE SHE WILL
701
00:26:34,694 --> 00:26:36,638
THERE'S A PLACE IN HER LIFE ♪
♪ SOMEDAY, SOMEWHERE SHE WILL
RETURN ♪
702
00:26:36,662 --> 00:26:39,597
♪ SOMEDAY, SOMEWHERE SHE WILL
RETURN ♪
[ELECTRIC-GUITAR SOLO]
703
00:27:00,151 --> 00:27:08,151
♪ SHE HAD A PLACE IN HIS LIFE ♪
♪ HE NEVER MADE HER THINK
TWICE ♪
704
00:27:14,634 --> 00:27:18,546
♪ HE NEVER MADE HER THINK
TWICE ♪
♪ AS HE RISES TO HER APOLOGY ♪
705
00:27:18,570 --> 00:27:21,449
TWICE ♪
♪ AS HE RISES TO HER APOLOGY ♪
♪ ANYBODY ELSE WOULD SURELY
706
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:24,219
♪ AS HE RISES TO HER APOLOGY ♪
♪ ANYBODY ELSE WOULD SURELY
KNOW ♪
707
00:27:24,243 --> 00:27:27,656
♪ ANYBODY ELSE WOULD SURELY
KNOW ♪
♪ HE'S WATCHING HER GO ♪
708
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:32,560
KNOW ♪
♪ HE'S WATCHING HER GO ♪
♪ WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES ♪
709
00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:34,896
♪ HE'S WATCHING HER GO ♪
♪ WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES ♪
♪ HE SEES ♪
710
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:39,467
♪ WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES ♪
♪ HE SEES ♪
♪ NO WISE MAN HAS THE POWER ♪
711
00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:43,805
♪ HE SEES ♪
♪ NO WISE MAN HAS THE POWER ♪
♪ TO REASON AWAY ♪
712
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:50,211
♪ NO WISE MAN HAS THE POWER ♪
♪ TO REASON AWAY ♪
♪ WHAT SEEMS TO BE ♪
713
00:27:50,235 --> 00:27:52,180
♪ TO REASON AWAY ♪
♪ WHAT SEEMS TO BE ♪
♪ IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN
714
00:27:52,204 --> 00:27:54,983
♪ WHAT SEEMS TO BE ♪
♪ IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN
NOTHING ♪
715
00:27:55,007 --> 00:27:58,553
♪ IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN
NOTHING ♪
♪ AND NOTHING AT ALL ♪
716
00:27:58,577 --> 00:28:02,824
NOTHING ♪
♪ AND NOTHING AT ALL ♪
♪ WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES ♪
717
00:28:02,848 --> 00:28:05,460
♪ AND NOTHING AT ALL ♪
♪ WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES ♪
♪ HE SEES ♪
718
00:28:05,484 --> 00:28:10,265
♪ WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES ♪
♪ HE SEES ♪
♪ NO WISE MAN HAS THE POWER ♪
719
00:28:10,289 --> 00:28:15,403
♪ HE SEES ♪
♪ NO WISE MAN HAS THE POWER ♪
♪ TO REASON AWAY ♪
720
00:28:15,427 --> 00:28:17,706
♪ NO WISE MAN HAS THE POWER ♪
♪ TO REASON AWAY ♪
♪ I BELIEVE SHE'S NEVER GONE
721
00:28:17,730 --> 00:28:20,776
♪ TO REASON AWAY ♪
♪ I BELIEVE SHE'S NEVER GONE
AWAY ♪
722
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,040
♪ I BELIEVE SHE'S NEVER GONE
AWAY ♪
[ELECTRIC-GUITAR SOLO]
723
00:28:32,143 --> 00:28:34,945
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
724
00:28:47,959 --> 00:28:51,472
Announcer: AND NOW
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE
"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
725
00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:52,674
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE
"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
HERE ARE BILL MURRAY AND
726
00:28:52,698 --> 00:28:54,810
"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
HERE ARE BILL MURRAY AND
JANE CURTIN.
727
00:28:54,834 --> 00:28:55,944
HERE ARE BILL MURRAY AND
JANE CURTIN.
GOOD EVENING.
728
00:28:55,968 --> 00:28:57,045
JANE CURTIN.
GOOD EVENING.
I'M JANE CURTIN.
729
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,980
GOOD EVENING.
I'M JANE CURTIN.
OUR TOP STORY... TRAGEDY STRUCK
730
00:28:59,004 --> 00:29:00,949
I'M JANE CURTIN.
OUR TOP STORY... TRAGEDY STRUCK
IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER LAST NIGHT
731
00:29:00,973 --> 00:29:02,184
OUR TOP STORY... TRAGEDY STRUCK
IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER LAST NIGHT
WHEN NBC PRESIDENT
732
00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:04,052
IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER LAST NIGHT
WHEN NBC PRESIDENT
FRED SILVERMAN COLLAPSED AFTER
733
00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:06,021
WHEN NBC PRESIDENT
FRED SILVERMAN COLLAPSED AFTER
WATCHING THE PREMIERE EPISODE OF
734
00:29:06,045 --> 00:29:07,122
FRED SILVERMAN COLLAPSED AFTER
WATCHING THE PREMIERE EPISODE OF
"HELLO, LARRY."
735
00:29:07,146 --> 00:29:08,523
WATCHING THE PREMIERE EPISODE OF
"HELLO, LARRY."
WE'RE TERRIBLY SORRY.
736
00:29:08,547 --> 00:29:09,057
"HELLO, LARRY."
WE'RE TERRIBLY SORRY.
BILL.
737
00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:11,093
WE'RE TERRIBLY SORRY.
BILL.
THE ATTORNEY GENERAL'S OFFICE
738
00:29:11,117 --> 00:29:12,761
BILL.
THE ATTORNEY GENERAL'S OFFICE
REMINDS US THAT JANUARY IS
739
00:29:12,785 --> 00:29:14,395
THE ATTORNEY GENERAL'S OFFICE
REMINDS US THAT JANUARY IS
ALIEN-REGISTRATION MONTH.
740
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:15,964
REMINDS US THAT JANUARY IS
ALIEN-REGISTRATION MONTH.
IF THERE ARE ANY ALIENS WATCHING
741
00:29:15,988 --> 00:29:17,532
ALIEN-REGISTRATION MONTH.
IF THERE ARE ANY ALIENS WATCHING
ME RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA SAVE YOU
742
00:29:17,556 --> 00:29:18,299
IF THERE ARE ANY ALIENS WATCHING
ME RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA SAVE YOU
SOME TROUBLE.
743
00:29:18,323 --> 00:29:19,601
ME RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA SAVE YOU
SOME TROUBLE.
RAISE YOUR RIGHT HANDS AND
744
00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:20,501
SOME TROUBLE.
RAISE YOUR RIGHT HANDS AND
REPEAT AFTER ME.
745
00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:22,838
RAISE YOUR RIGHT HANDS AND
REPEAT AFTER ME.
I HEREBY DECLARE, ON OATH, THAT
746
00:29:22,862 --> 00:29:24,139
REPEAT AFTER ME.
I HEREBY DECLARE, ON OATH, THAT
I ABSOLUTELY RENOUNCE ALL
747
00:29:24,163 --> 00:29:25,707
I HEREBY DECLARE, ON OATH, THAT
I ABSOLUTELY RENOUNCE ALL
ALLEGIANCE TO ANY FOREIGN STATE,
748
00:29:25,731 --> 00:29:27,209
I ABSOLUTELY RENOUNCE ALL
ALLEGIANCE TO ANY FOREIGN STATE,
THAT I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND
749
00:29:27,233 --> 00:29:28,409
ALLEGIANCE TO ANY FOREIGN STATE,
THAT I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND
THE CONSTITUTION OF THE
750
00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:30,011
THAT I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND
THE CONSTITUTION OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AGAINST
751
00:29:30,035 --> 00:29:31,446
THE CONSTITUTION OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AGAINST
ALL ENEMIES, AND THAT I TAKE
752
00:29:31,470 --> 00:29:32,981
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AGAINST
ALL ENEMIES, AND THAT I TAKE
THIS OBLIGATION FREELY, SO HELP
753
00:29:33,005 --> 00:29:33,514
ALL ENEMIES, AND THAT I TAKE
THIS OBLIGATION FREELY, SO HELP
ME, GOD.
754
00:29:33,538 --> 00:29:33,949
THIS OBLIGATION FREELY, SO HELP
ME, GOD.
THERE.
755
00:29:33,973 --> 00:29:35,350
ME, GOD.
THERE.
CONGRATULATIONS, NEW CITIZENS,
756
00:29:35,374 --> 00:29:36,017
THERE.
CONGRATULATIONS, NEW CITIZENS,
AND WELCOME.
757
00:29:36,041 --> 00:29:37,352
CONGRATULATIONS, NEW CITIZENS,
AND WELCOME.
JUST ONE THING, THOUGH, HUH?
758
00:29:37,376 --> 00:29:38,686
AND WELCOME.
JUST ONE THING, THOUGH, HUH?
DON'T EVER LET THE FLAG TOUCH
759
00:29:38,710 --> 00:29:39,855
JUST ONE THING, THOUGH, HUH?
DON'T EVER LET THE FLAG TOUCH
THE GROUND, OR YOU'LL GO
760
00:29:39,879 --> 00:29:41,456
DON'T EVER LET THE FLAG TOUCH
THE GROUND, OR YOU'LL GO
STRAIGHT TO HELL.
761
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,058
THE GROUND, OR YOU'LL GO
STRAIGHT TO HELL.
[LAUGHTER]
762
00:29:43,082 --> 00:29:44,425
STRAIGHT TO HELL.
[LAUGHTER]
ON DECEMBER 29th, WOODY HAYES
763
00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:45,794
[LAUGHTER]
ON DECEMBER 29th, WOODY HAYES
WAS DISMISSED AS OHIO STATE'S
764
00:29:45,818 --> 00:29:47,295
ON DECEMBER 29th, WOODY HAYES
WAS DISMISSED AS OHIO STATE'S
HEAD FOOTBALL COACH FOR STRIKING
765
00:29:47,319 --> 00:29:48,696
WAS DISMISSED AS OHIO STATE'S
HEAD FOOTBALL COACH FOR STRIKING
AN OPPOSING BALL PLAYER IN THE
766
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:50,198
HEAD FOOTBALL COACH FOR STRIKING
AN OPPOSING BALL PLAYER IN THE
FINAL MOMENTS OF THE GATOR BOWL.
767
00:29:50,222 --> 00:29:51,466
AN OPPOSING BALL PLAYER IN THE
FINAL MOMENTS OF THE GATOR BOWL.
SINCE THEN, WOODY HAS BEEN
768
00:29:51,490 --> 00:29:52,801
FINAL MOMENTS OF THE GATOR BOWL.
SINCE THEN, WOODY HAS BEEN
SPENDING MOST OF HIS TIME AT
769
00:29:52,825 --> 00:29:54,169
SINCE THEN, WOODY HAS BEEN
SPENDING MOST OF HIS TIME AT
HOME WITH HIS WIFE, CHARLEEN,
770
00:29:54,193 --> 00:29:55,570
SPENDING MOST OF HIS TIME AT
HOME WITH HIS WIFE, CHARLEEN,
AND BOTH OF THEM WERE GRACIOUS
771
00:29:55,594 --> 00:29:57,272
HOME WITH HIS WIFE, CHARLEEN,
AND BOTH OF THEM WERE GRACIOUS
ENOUGH TO VISIT ME TONIGHT ON
772
00:29:57,296 --> 00:29:59,074
AND BOTH OF THEM WERE GRACIOUS
ENOUGH TO VISIT ME TONIGHT ON
"CELEBRITY CORNER."
773
00:29:59,098 --> 00:30:00,041
ENOUGH TO VISIT ME TONIGHT ON
"CELEBRITY CORNER."
HEY, YOU MANIACS.
774
00:30:00,065 --> 00:30:01,509
"CELEBRITY CORNER."
HEY, YOU MANIACS.
WELCOME TO ALL OF YOU IN THE
775
00:30:01,533 --> 00:30:02,343
HEY, YOU MANIACS.
WELCOME TO ALL OF YOU IN THE
BUCKEYE STATE.
776
00:30:02,367 --> 00:30:03,444
WELCOME TO ALL OF YOU IN THE
BUCKEYE STATE.
THANKS FOR COMING ON
777
00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:04,512
BUCKEYE STATE.
THANKS FOR COMING ON
"CELEBRITY CORNER."
778
00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:05,580
THANKS FOR COMING ON
"CELEBRITY CORNER."
IT'S A PLEASURE.
779
00:30:05,604 --> 00:30:06,314
"CELEBRITY CORNER."
IT'S A PLEASURE.
HI, BILL.
780
00:30:06,338 --> 00:30:07,482
IT'S A PLEASURE.
HI, BILL.
HI, CHARLEEN.
781
00:30:07,506 --> 00:30:09,517
HI, BILL.
HI, CHARLEEN.
FIRST OF ALL, WOODY, WHY DID YOU
782
00:30:09,541 --> 00:30:10,152
HI, CHARLEEN.
FIRST OF ALL, WOODY, WHY DID YOU
DO IT?
783
00:30:10,176 --> 00:30:11,753
FIRST OF ALL, WOODY, WHY DID YOU
DO IT?
WHAT CAN I SAY, BILL?
784
00:30:11,777 --> 00:30:13,621
DO IT?
WHAT CAN I SAY, BILL?
IT WAS AN IMPULSIVE ACT ON MY
785
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:14,189
WHAT CAN I SAY, BILL?
IT WAS AN IMPULSIVE ACT ON MY
PART.
786
00:30:14,213 --> 00:30:15,791
IT WAS AN IMPULSIVE ACT ON MY
PART.
I MADE A MISTAKE.
787
00:30:15,815 --> 00:30:16,858
PART.
I MADE A MISTAKE.
[LAUGHS]
788
00:30:16,882 --> 00:30:19,560
I MADE A MISTAKE.
[LAUGHS]
NOW, WOODY, AFTER 28 YEARS OF
789
00:30:19,584 --> 00:30:21,263
[LAUGHS]
NOW, WOODY, AFTER 28 YEARS OF
COACHING, ARE YOU BITTER ABOUT
790
00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:22,197
NOW, WOODY, AFTER 28 YEARS OF
COACHING, ARE YOU BITTER ABOUT
YOUR DISMISSAL?
791
00:30:22,221 --> 00:30:23,464
COACHING, ARE YOU BITTER ABOUT
YOUR DISMISSAL?
NO, BILL, I'M NOT.
792
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:25,233
YOUR DISMISSAL?
NO, BILL, I'M NOT.
THE LAST THING I'D WANT TO DO IS
793
00:30:25,257 --> 00:30:26,401
NO, BILL, I'M NOT.
THE LAST THING I'D WANT TO DO IS
HURT OHIO STATE.
794
00:30:26,425 --> 00:30:28,036
THE LAST THING I'D WANT TO DO IS
HURT OHIO STATE.
THEY MADE THE RIGHT DECISION.
795
00:30:28,060 --> 00:30:29,337
HURT OHIO STATE.
THEY MADE THE RIGHT DECISION.
I GOT WHAT I DESERVED.
796
00:30:29,361 --> 00:30:30,005
THEY MADE THE RIGHT DECISION.
I GOT WHAT I DESERVED.
[LAUGHS]
797
00:30:30,029 --> 00:30:31,406
I GOT WHAT I DESERVED.
[LAUGHS]
WELL, THAT'S VERY, VERY
798
00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:32,974
[LAUGHS]
WELL, THAT'S VERY, VERY
HUMBLE OF YOU, WOODY, BUT WHAT
799
00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:33,408
WELL, THAT'S VERY, VERY
HUMBLE OF YOU, WOODY, BUT WHAT
NEXT?
800
00:30:33,432 --> 00:30:34,542
HUMBLE OF YOU, WOODY, BUT WHAT
NEXT?
YOU'RE 65 YEARS OLD.
801
00:30:34,566 --> 00:30:36,178
NEXT?
YOU'RE 65 YEARS OLD.
DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD LAND
802
00:30:36,202 --> 00:30:37,345
YOU'RE 65 YEARS OLD.
DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD LAND
ANOTHER COACHING JOB?
803
00:30:37,369 --> 00:30:38,880
DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD LAND
ANOTHER COACHING JOB?
I DON'T EVEN WANT IT, BILL.
804
00:30:38,904 --> 00:30:40,148
ANOTHER COACHING JOB?
I DON'T EVEN WANT IT, BILL.
NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG.
805
00:30:40,172 --> 00:30:41,716
I DON'T EVEN WANT IT, BILL.
NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG.
COACHING'S BEEN GOOD TO ME, BUT
806
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:43,618
NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG.
COACHING'S BEEN GOOD TO ME, BUT
I'M GLAD THAT I CAN BE HERE WITH
807
00:30:43,642 --> 00:30:44,385
COACHING'S BEEN GOOD TO ME, BUT
I'M GLAD THAT I CAN BE HERE WITH
MY FAMILY.
808
00:30:44,409 --> 00:30:45,420
I'M GLAD THAT I CAN BE HERE WITH
MY FAMILY.
THAT'S NICE.
809
00:30:45,444 --> 00:30:46,321
MY FAMILY.
THAT'S NICE.
[LAUGHS]
810
00:30:46,345 --> 00:30:48,123
THAT'S NICE.
[LAUGHS]
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT,
811
00:30:48,147 --> 00:30:49,191
[LAUGHS]
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT,
CHARLEEN HAYES?
812
00:30:49,215 --> 00:30:50,992
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT,
CHARLEEN HAYES?
OH, I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
813
00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:52,928
CHARLEEN HAYES?
OH, I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 28 YEARS,
814
00:30:52,952 --> 00:30:54,729
OH, I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 28 YEARS,
WOODY AND I ARE SPENDING TIME
815
00:30:54,753 --> 00:30:55,864
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 28 YEARS,
WOODY AND I ARE SPENDING TIME
WITH EACH OTHER.
816
00:30:55,888 --> 00:30:58,133
WOODY AND I ARE SPENDING TIME
WITH EACH OTHER.
IT'S WONDERFUL.
817
00:30:58,157 --> 00:31:00,068
WITH EACH OTHER.
IT'S WONDERFUL.
WE FEEL LIKE NEWLYWEDS AGAIN,
818
00:31:00,092 --> 00:31:00,802
IT'S WONDERFUL.
WE FEEL LIKE NEWLYWEDS AGAIN,
YOU KNOW?
819
00:31:00,826 --> 00:31:01,569
WE FEEL LIKE NEWLYWEDS AGAIN,
YOU KNOW?
[LAUGHS]
820
00:31:01,593 --> 00:31:02,503
YOU KNOW?
[LAUGHS]
RIGHT, OH!
821
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:05,841
[LAUGHS]
RIGHT, OH!
[LAUGHS]
822
00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:07,675
RIGHT, OH!
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHTER]
823
00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:08,710
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHTER]
WELL, THANK YOU.
824
00:31:08,734 --> 00:31:10,111
[LAUGHTER]
WELL, THANK YOU.
NO, WOODY! WOODY! WOODY!
825
00:31:10,135 --> 00:31:10,578
WELL, THANK YOU.
NO, WOODY! WOODY! WOODY!
WOODY!
826
00:31:10,602 --> 00:31:12,180
NO, WOODY! WOODY! WOODY!
WOODY!
THANK YOU SO MUCH, WOODY, AND
827
00:31:12,204 --> 00:31:13,548
WOODY!
THANK YOU SO MUCH, WOODY, AND
THANK YOU, CHARLEEN HAYES.
828
00:31:13,572 --> 00:31:15,050
THANK YOU SO MUCH, WOODY, AND
THANK YOU, CHARLEEN HAYES.
I WANT YOU TWO MANIACS TO HAVE
829
00:31:15,074 --> 00:31:16,451
THANK YOU, CHARLEEN HAYES.
I WANT YOU TWO MANIACS TO HAVE
ALL THE FUN YOU CAN IN YOUR
830
00:31:16,475 --> 00:31:18,519
I WANT YOU TWO MANIACS TO HAVE
ALL THE FUN YOU CAN IN YOUR
REMAINING YEARS.
831
00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:20,021
ALL THE FUN YOU CAN IN YOUR
REMAINING YEARS.
THAT'S WOODY HAYES, THE FORMER
832
00:31:20,045 --> 00:31:21,156
REMAINING YEARS.
THAT'S WOODY HAYES, THE FORMER
COACH OF THE BUCKEYES.
833
00:31:21,180 --> 00:31:25,894
THAT'S WOODY HAYES, THE FORMER
COACH OF THE BUCKEYES.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
834
00:31:25,918 --> 00:31:27,528
COACH OF THE BUCKEYES.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I PERSONALLY FEEL THE MAN GOT A
835
00:31:27,552 --> 00:31:28,163
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I PERSONALLY FEEL THE MAN GOT A
RAW DEAL.
836
00:31:28,187 --> 00:31:30,265
I PERSONALLY FEEL THE MAN GOT A
RAW DEAL.
JANE.
837
00:31:30,289 --> 00:31:32,100
RAW DEAL.
JANE.
FIRST LADY ROSALYNN CARTER
838
00:31:32,124 --> 00:31:34,102
JANE.
FIRST LADY ROSALYNN CARTER
POSED IN CHICAGO LAST YEAR WITH
839
00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:35,536
FIRST LADY ROSALYNN CARTER
POSED IN CHICAGO LAST YEAR WITH
ACCUSED MASS MURDERER
840
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:36,872
POSED IN CHICAGO LAST YEAR WITH
ACCUSED MASS MURDERER
JOHN WAYNE GACY JR.
841
00:31:36,896 --> 00:31:38,773
ACCUSED MASS MURDERER
JOHN WAYNE GACY JR.
NATURALLY, MRS. CARTER HAD NO
842
00:31:38,797 --> 00:31:40,909
JOHN WAYNE GACY JR.
NATURALLY, MRS. CARTER HAD NO
WAY OF KNOWING ABOUT MR. GACY'S
843
00:31:40,933 --> 00:31:42,277
NATURALLY, MRS. CARTER HAD NO
WAY OF KNOWING ABOUT MR. GACY'S
DESTINY, NOR DID SHE KNOW
844
00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:43,979
WAY OF KNOWING ABOUT MR. GACY'S
DESTINY, NOR DID SHE KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT THE EVENTUAL FATE
845
00:31:44,003 --> 00:31:45,313
DESTINY, NOR DID SHE KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT THE EVENTUAL FATE
OF PEOPLE'S TEMPLE LEADER
846
00:31:45,337 --> 00:31:46,848
ANYTHING ABOUT THE EVENTUAL FATE
OF PEOPLE'S TEMPLE LEADER
JIM JONES WHEN SHE POSED WITH
847
00:31:46,872 --> 00:31:48,049
OF PEOPLE'S TEMPLE LEADER
JIM JONES WHEN SHE POSED WITH
HIM FOR THIS PICTURE.
848
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:49,417
JIM JONES WHEN SHE POSED WITH
HIM FOR THIS PICTURE.
OF COURSE, THESE ARE JUST
849
00:31:49,441 --> 00:31:50,418
HIM FOR THIS PICTURE.
OF COURSE, THESE ARE JUST
COINCIDENCES, BUT
850
00:31:50,442 --> 00:31:52,020
OF COURSE, THESE ARE JUST
COINCIDENCES, BUT
"WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS UNCOVERED
851
00:31:52,044 --> 00:31:53,388
COINCIDENCES, BUT
"WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS UNCOVERED
STILL MORE PHOTOGRAPHS OF
852
00:31:53,412 --> 00:31:54,222
"WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS UNCOVERED
STILL MORE PHOTOGRAPHS OF
MRS. CARTER.
853
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:55,924
STILL MORE PHOTOGRAPHS OF
MRS. CARTER.
HERE SHE IS WITH MASS MURDERER
854
00:31:55,948 --> 00:31:57,725
MRS. CARTER.
HERE SHE IS WITH MASS MURDERER
CHARLES WHITMAN, THE TEXAS TOWER
855
00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:58,326
HERE SHE IS WITH MASS MURDERER
CHARLES WHITMAN, THE TEXAS TOWER
SNIPER.
856
00:31:58,350 --> 00:32:00,028
CHARLES WHITMAN, THE TEXAS TOWER
SNIPER.
THE PICTURE WAS TAKEN DURING A
857
00:32:00,052 --> 00:32:01,429
SNIPER.
THE PICTURE WAS TAKEN DURING A
GUN-CONTROL RALLY ON THE
858
00:32:01,453 --> 00:32:02,697
THE PICTURE WAS TAKEN DURING A
GUN-CONTROL RALLY ON THE
UNIVERSITY CAMPUS.
859
00:32:02,721 --> 00:32:04,232
GUN-CONTROL RALLY ON THE
UNIVERSITY CAMPUS.
AND HERE'S ROSALYNN WITH
860
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:06,001
UNIVERSITY CAMPUS.
AND HERE'S ROSALYNN WITH
CALIFORNIA'S MASS MURDERER
861
00:32:06,025 --> 00:32:07,102
AND HERE'S ROSALYNN WITH
CALIFORNIA'S MASS MURDERER
CHARLES MANSON.
862
00:32:07,126 --> 00:32:08,836
CALIFORNIA'S MASS MURDERER
CHARLES MANSON.
THE TWO DINED TOGETHER AT A
863
00:32:08,860 --> 00:32:10,605
CHARLES MANSON.
THE TWO DINED TOGETHER AT A
SAVE-THE-WHALES FUND-RAISING
864
00:32:10,629 --> 00:32:12,207
THE TWO DINED TOGETHER AT A
SAVE-THE-WHALES FUND-RAISING
DINNER IN THE EARLY '60s.
865
00:32:12,231 --> 00:32:13,975
SAVE-THE-WHALES FUND-RAISING
DINNER IN THE EARLY '60s.
AND IT WAS ON A SKI WEEKEND THAT
866
00:32:13,999 --> 00:32:15,710
DINNER IN THE EARLY '60s.
AND IT WAS ON A SKI WEEKEND THAT
ROSALYNN MET AND POSED WITH MASS
867
00:32:15,734 --> 00:32:17,212
AND IT WAS ON A SKI WEEKEND THAT
ROSALYNN MET AND POSED WITH MASS
MURDERERS RICHARD SPECK AND
868
00:32:17,236 --> 00:32:18,613
ROSALYNN MET AND POSED WITH MASS
MURDERERS RICHARD SPECK AND
ALBERT DeSALVO, WHOM SHE
869
00:32:18,637 --> 00:32:20,048
MURDERERS RICHARD SPECK AND
ALBERT DeSALVO, WHOM SHE
INTRODUCED TO EACH OTHER.
870
00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:21,716
ALBERT DeSALVO, WHOM SHE
INTRODUCED TO EACH OTHER.
AND, FINALLY, THIS RARE PICTURE
871
00:32:21,740 --> 00:32:23,285
INTRODUCED TO EACH OTHER.
AND, FINALLY, THIS RARE PICTURE
OF ROSALYNN WITH MASS MURDERER
872
00:32:23,309 --> 00:32:24,920
AND, FINALLY, THIS RARE PICTURE
OF ROSALYNN WITH MASS MURDERER
CHARLIE STARKWEATHER, AND THEN
873
00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:26,587
OF ROSALYNN WITH MASS MURDERER
CHARLIE STARKWEATHER, AND THEN
CONGRESSMAN ED KOCH, WHO SWEARS
874
00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:28,256
CHARLIE STARKWEATHER, AND THEN
CONGRESSMAN ED KOCH, WHO SWEARS
HE DOESN'T REMEMBER EVER HAVING
875
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,424
CONGRESSMAN ED KOCH, WHO SWEARS
HE DOESN'T REMEMBER EVER HAVING
A PICTURE TAKEN WITH
876
00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:30,258
HE DOESN'T REMEMBER EVER HAVING
A PICTURE TAKEN WITH
MRS. CARTER.
877
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:31,859
A PICTURE TAKEN WITH
MRS. CARTER.
[LAUGHTER]
878
00:32:31,883 --> 00:32:33,161
MRS. CARTER.
[LAUGHTER]
AND NOW HERE TO TELL US WHAT'S
879
00:32:33,185 --> 00:32:34,529
[LAUGHTER]
AND NOW HERE TO TELL US WHAT'S
HAPPENING IN THE WORLD OF SPORTS
880
00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:35,797
AND NOW HERE TO TELL US WHAT'S
HAPPENING IN THE WORLD OF SPORTS
IS THE FORMER ALL-STAR FOR THE
881
00:32:35,821 --> 00:32:36,831
HAPPENING IN THE WORLD OF SPORTS
IS THE FORMER ALL-STAR FOR THE
NEW YORK METS, "UPDATE"
882
00:32:36,855 --> 00:32:38,666
IS THE FORMER ALL-STAR FOR THE
NEW YORK METS, "UPDATE"
SPORTSCASTER CHICO ESCUELA.
883
00:32:38,690 --> 00:32:39,667
NEW YORK METS, "UPDATE"
SPORTSCASTER CHICO ESCUELA.
CHICO.
884
00:32:39,691 --> 00:32:42,904
SPORTSCASTER CHICO ESCUELA.
CHICO.
[APPLAUSE]
885
00:32:42,928 --> 00:32:44,906
CHICO.
[APPLAUSE]
[Spanish accent] THANK YOU,
886
00:32:44,930 --> 00:32:46,507
[APPLAUSE]
[Spanish accent] THANK YOU,
"HANE."
887
00:32:46,531 --> 00:32:47,775
[Spanish accent] THANK YOU,
"HANE."
[LAUGHTER]
888
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:51,012
"HANE."
[LAUGHTER]
BASEBALL BEEN VERY, VERY GOOD TO
889
00:32:51,036 --> 00:32:52,680
[LAUGHTER]
BASEBALL BEEN VERY, VERY GOOD TO
ME.
890
00:32:52,704 --> 00:32:55,917
BASEBALL BEEN VERY, VERY GOOD TO
ME.
THIS WEEK, BASEBALL BEEN VERY,
891
00:32:55,941 --> 00:32:58,586
ME.
THIS WEEK, BASEBALL BEEN VERY,
VERY GOOD TO WILLIE MAYS.
892
00:32:58,610 --> 00:33:02,991
THIS WEEK, BASEBALL BEEN VERY,
VERY GOOD TO WILLIE MAYS.
SAY, WILLIE ALWAYS KEEP HIS EYE
893
00:33:03,015 --> 00:33:05,493
VERY GOOD TO WILLIE MAYS.
SAY, WILLIE ALWAYS KEEP HIS EYE
ON THE BALL.
894
00:33:05,517 --> 00:33:08,129
SAY, WILLIE ALWAYS KEEP HIS EYE
ON THE BALL.
IN THE SUPER BOWL, WE HAVE...
895
00:33:08,153 --> 00:33:10,731
ON THE BALL.
IN THE SUPER BOWL, WE HAVE...
HOW DO YOU SAY? HIGHLIGHTS.
896
00:33:10,755 --> 00:33:13,435
IN THE SUPER BOWL, WE HAVE...
HOW DO YOU SAY? HIGHLIGHTS.
ROLL, PLEASE.
897
00:33:13,459 --> 00:33:18,873
HOW DO YOU SAY? HIGHLIGHTS.
ROLL, PLEASE.
JACKIE SMITH DID NOT KEEP HIS
898
00:33:18,897 --> 00:33:22,777
ROLL, PLEASE.
JACKIE SMITH DID NOT KEEP HIS
EYE ON THE BALL, BUT
899
00:33:22,801 --> 00:33:28,549
JACKIE SMITH DID NOT KEEP HIS
EYE ON THE BALL, BUT
LYNN SWANN... HE KEEP HIS EYE ON
900
00:33:28,573 --> 00:33:30,952
EYE ON THE BALL, BUT
LYNN SWANN... HE KEEP HIS EYE ON
THE BALL, AND HE VERY, VERY
901
00:33:30,976 --> 00:33:31,987
LYNN SWANN... HE KEEP HIS EYE ON
THE BALL, AND HE VERY, VERY
HAPPY.
902
00:33:32,011 --> 00:33:33,654
THE BALL, AND HE VERY, VERY
HAPPY.
[LAUGHTER]
903
00:33:33,678 --> 00:33:38,393
HAPPY.
[LAUGHTER]
SO, ALWAYS KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE
904
00:33:38,417 --> 00:33:40,795
[LAUGHTER]
SO, ALWAYS KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE
BALL, AND YOU'LL BE HAPPY.
905
00:33:40,819 --> 00:33:43,198
SO, ALWAYS KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE
BALL, AND YOU'LL BE HAPPY.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH,
906
00:33:43,222 --> 00:33:44,132
BALL, AND YOU'LL BE HAPPY.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH,
"HANE."
907
00:33:44,156 --> 00:33:46,468
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH,
"HANE."
GREAT DELIVERY, CHICO.
908
00:33:46,492 --> 00:33:50,171
"HANE."
GREAT DELIVERY, CHICO.
GREAT.
909
00:33:50,195 --> 00:33:51,639
GREAT DELIVERY, CHICO.
GREAT.
NO. NO. NO COMPRENDE.
910
00:33:51,663 --> 00:33:53,141
GREAT.
NO. NO. NO COMPRENDE.
NEVER MIND. NEVER MIND.
911
00:33:53,165 --> 00:33:54,342
NO. NO. NO COMPRENDE.
NEVER MIND. NEVER MIND.
OH. HASTA LUEGO.
912
00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:56,077
NEVER MIND. NEVER MIND.
OH. HASTA LUEGO.
DEMOCRAT-TURNED-REPUBLICAN
913
00:33:56,101 --> 00:33:57,512
OH. HASTA LUEGO.
DEMOCRAT-TURNED-REPUBLICAN
JOHN CONNOLLY THIS WEEK
914
00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:59,347
DEMOCRAT-TURNED-REPUBLICAN
JOHN CONNOLLY THIS WEEK
ANNOUNCED HIS CANDIDACY FOR THE
915
00:33:59,371 --> 00:34:00,915
JOHN CONNOLLY THIS WEEK
ANNOUNCED HIS CANDIDACY FOR THE
1980 REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL
916
00:34:00,939 --> 00:34:01,682
ANNOUNCED HIS CANDIDACY FOR THE
1980 REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL
NOMINATION.
917
00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:03,451
1980 REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL
NOMINATION.
SENATOR GEORGE McGOVERN HAD THIS
918
00:34:03,475 --> 00:34:04,052
NOMINATION.
SENATOR GEORGE McGOVERN HAD THIS
TO SAY.
919
00:34:04,076 --> 00:34:05,753
SENATOR GEORGE McGOVERN HAD THIS
TO SAY.
"I WOULDN'T TRUST JOHN CONNOLLY
920
00:34:05,777 --> 00:34:06,954
TO SAY.
"I WOULDN'T TRUST JOHN CONNOLLY
WITHIN A MILE OF THE
921
00:34:06,978 --> 00:34:07,688
"I WOULDN'T TRUST JOHN CONNOLLY
WITHIN A MILE OF THE
WHITE HOUSE.
922
00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:09,224
WITHIN A MILE OF THE
WHITE HOUSE.
HE COMBINES THE WORST ELEMENTS
923
00:34:09,248 --> 00:34:10,525
WHITE HOUSE.
HE COMBINES THE WORST ELEMENTS
OF WATERGATE AND VIETNAM.
924
00:34:10,549 --> 00:34:12,060
HE COMBINES THE WORST ELEMENTS
OF WATERGATE AND VIETNAM.
HE'S A TYPICAL DOUBLE-TALKING,
925
00:34:12,084 --> 00:34:13,461
OF WATERGATE AND VIETNAM.
HE'S A TYPICAL DOUBLE-TALKING,
DOUBLE-CROSSING POLITICIAN.
926
00:34:13,485 --> 00:34:15,063
HE'S A TYPICAL DOUBLE-TALKING,
DOUBLE-CROSSING POLITICIAN.
THE ONLY REASON HE NEVER WENT TO
927
00:34:15,087 --> 00:34:16,631
DOUBLE-CROSSING POLITICIAN.
THE ONLY REASON HE NEVER WENT TO
JAIL IS BECAUSE HE HAD THE BEST
928
00:34:16,655 --> 00:34:18,233
THE ONLY REASON HE NEVER WENT TO
JAIL IS BECAUSE HE HAD THE BEST
CRIMINAL LAWYER IN THE COUNTRY."
929
00:34:18,257 --> 00:34:19,667
JAIL IS BECAUSE HE HAD THE BEST
CRIMINAL LAWYER IN THE COUNTRY."
CONNOLLY REPLIED, "I GUESS I
930
00:34:19,691 --> 00:34:20,902
CRIMINAL LAWYER IN THE COUNTRY."
CONNOLLY REPLIED, "I GUESS I
CAN'T COUNT ON GEORGE'S
931
00:34:20,926 --> 00:34:21,503
CONNOLLY REPLIED, "I GUESS I
CAN'T COUNT ON GEORGE'S
SUPPORT."
932
00:34:21,527 --> 00:34:23,338
CAN'T COUNT ON GEORGE'S
SUPPORT."
BILL.
933
00:34:23,362 --> 00:34:24,906
SUPPORT."
BILL.
THE POPE HAS NOW MOVED ON TO
934
00:34:24,930 --> 00:34:26,107
BILL.
THE POPE HAS NOW MOVED ON TO
MEXICO CITY TO OPEN THE
935
00:34:26,131 --> 00:34:27,308
THE POPE HAS NOW MOVED ON TO
MEXICO CITY TO OPEN THE
LATIN-AMERICAN BISHOP'S
936
00:34:27,332 --> 00:34:28,009
MEXICO CITY TO OPEN THE
LATIN-AMERICAN BISHOP'S
CONFERENCE.
937
00:34:28,033 --> 00:34:29,610
LATIN-AMERICAN BISHOP'S
CONFERENCE.
AND JUST BACK FROM MEXICO, WHERE
938
00:34:29,634 --> 00:34:31,046
CONFERENCE.
AND JUST BACK FROM MEXICO, WHERE
HE HAD ACCOMPANIED THE PAPAL
939
00:34:31,070 --> 00:34:32,280
AND JUST BACK FROM MEXICO, WHERE
HE HAD ACCOMPANIED THE PAPAL
ENTOURAGE, IS THE GOSSIP
940
00:34:32,304 --> 00:34:33,248
HE HAD ACCOMPANIED THE PAPAL
ENTOURAGE, IS THE GOSSIP
COLUMNIST FOR THE
941
00:34:33,272 --> 00:34:34,582
ENTOURAGE, IS THE GOSSIP
COLUMNIST FOR THE
L'OSSERVATORE ROMANO, THE
942
00:34:34,606 --> 00:34:35,583
COLUMNIST FOR THE
L'OSSERVATORE ROMANO, THE
VATICAN NEWSPAPER,
943
00:34:35,607 --> 00:34:36,751
L'OSSERVATORE ROMANO, THE
VATICAN NEWSPAPER,
FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI.
944
00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:38,553
VATICAN NEWSPAPER,
FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI.
NICE TO HAVE YOU HERE, FATHER.
945
00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:41,089
FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI.
NICE TO HAVE YOU HERE, FATHER.
THANK YOU.
946
00:34:41,113 --> 00:34:44,426
NICE TO HAVE YOU HERE, FATHER.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
947
00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:45,927
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL HAT YOU
948
00:34:45,951 --> 00:34:46,661
THANK YOU.
THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL HAT YOU
HAVE THERE.
949
00:34:46,685 --> 00:34:47,462
THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL HAT YOU
HAVE THERE.
THANK YOU.
950
00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:51,266
HAVE THERE.
THANK YOU.
I GOT IT IN MEXICO.
951
00:34:51,290 --> 00:34:53,501
THANK YOU.
I GOT IT IN MEXICO.
WELL, I THINK THAT THE BIGGEST
952
00:34:53,525 --> 00:34:55,703
I GOT IT IN MEXICO.
WELL, I THINK THAT THE BIGGEST
STORY OF THE BISHOP CONFERENCE
953
00:34:55,727 --> 00:34:58,073
WELL, I THINK THAT THE BIGGEST
STORY OF THE BISHOP CONFERENCE
IN MEXICO CITY IS THAT THOUSANDS
954
00:34:58,097 --> 00:35:00,175
STORY OF THE BISHOP CONFERENCE
IN MEXICO CITY IS THAT THOUSANDS
OF PICKPOCKETS AND SWINDLERS
955
00:35:00,199 --> 00:35:02,377
IN MEXICO CITY IS THAT THOUSANDS
OF PICKPOCKETS AND SWINDLERS
HAVE DESCENDED ON THAT CITY TO
956
00:35:02,401 --> 00:35:04,612
OF PICKPOCKETS AND SWINDLERS
HAVE DESCENDED ON THAT CITY TO
STEAL FROM THE PEOPLE WHO CAME
957
00:35:04,636 --> 00:35:06,281
HAVE DESCENDED ON THAT CITY TO
STEAL FROM THE PEOPLE WHO CAME
TO WATCH THE POPE.
958
00:35:06,305 --> 00:35:08,816
STEAL FROM THE PEOPLE WHO CAME
TO WATCH THE POPE.
ALREADY, MEXICO CITY POLICEMEN
959
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,651
TO WATCH THE POPE.
ALREADY, MEXICO CITY POLICEMEN
HAVE ARRESTED 2,000 PEOPLE.
960
00:35:10,675 --> 00:35:12,653
ALREADY, MEXICO CITY POLICEMEN
HAVE ARRESTED 2,000 PEOPLE.
I'M NOT SAYING ALL PEOPLE DOWN
961
00:35:12,677 --> 00:35:14,556
HAVE ARRESTED 2,000 PEOPLE.
I'M NOT SAYING ALL PEOPLE DOWN
THERE ARE LIKE THESE CROOKED
962
00:35:14,580 --> 00:35:16,691
I'M NOT SAYING ALL PEOPLE DOWN
THERE ARE LIKE THESE CROOKED
'CAUSE I DID MEET SOME WONDERFUL
963
00:35:16,715 --> 00:35:17,358
THERE ARE LIKE THESE CROOKED
'CAUSE I DID MEET SOME WONDERFUL
PEOPLE.
964
00:35:17,382 --> 00:35:18,693
'CAUSE I DID MEET SOME WONDERFUL
PEOPLE.
MET THIS ONE GIRL.
965
00:35:18,717 --> 00:35:21,362
PEOPLE.
MET THIS ONE GIRL.
LUPE IS HER NAME, AND SHE WAS
966
00:35:21,386 --> 00:35:23,298
MET THIS ONE GIRL.
LUPE IS HER NAME, AND SHE WAS
REALLY NICE, DROVE ME AROUND AND
967
00:35:23,322 --> 00:35:24,532
LUPE IS HER NAME, AND SHE WAS
REALLY NICE, DROVE ME AROUND AND
SHOWED ME THE CITY.
968
00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:26,401
REALLY NICE, DROVE ME AROUND AND
SHOWED ME THE CITY.
AND I ALSO MET THIS ONE FELLOW.
969
00:35:26,425 --> 00:35:29,637
SHOWED ME THE CITY.
AND I ALSO MET THIS ONE FELLOW.
HE WAS FROM GUADALAJARA, MEXICO,
970
00:35:29,661 --> 00:35:30,538
AND I ALSO MET THIS ONE FELLOW.
HE WAS FROM GUADALAJARA, MEXICO,
AND HE WAS NICE.
971
00:35:30,562 --> 00:35:32,073
HE WAS FROM GUADALAJARA, MEXICO,
AND HE WAS NICE.
HE WAS REALLY INTERESTED IN THE
972
00:35:32,097 --> 00:35:32,574
AND HE WAS NICE.
HE WAS REALLY INTERESTED IN THE
CHURCH.
973
00:35:32,598 --> 00:35:33,774
HE WAS REALLY INTERESTED IN THE
CHURCH.
HE KNEW A LOT OF STUFF.
974
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:35,076
CHURCH.
HE KNEW A LOT OF STUFF.
AND HE TOLD ME HE HAD THIS
975
00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:36,611
HE KNEW A LOT OF STUFF.
AND HE TOLD ME HE HAD THIS
FRIEND WHO HAD A LOT OF RELICS,
976
00:35:36,635 --> 00:35:38,146
AND HE TOLD ME HE HAD THIS
FRIEND WHO HAD A LOT OF RELICS,
AND HE THOUGHT MAYBE I WOULD BE
977
00:35:38,170 --> 00:35:39,747
FRIEND WHO HAD A LOT OF RELICS,
AND HE THOUGHT MAYBE I WOULD BE
INTERESTED IN MAYBE LOOKING INTO
978
00:35:39,771 --> 00:35:40,615
AND HE THOUGHT MAYBE I WOULD BE
INTERESTED IN MAYBE LOOKING INTO
PURCHASING SOME.
979
00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:42,083
INTERESTED IN MAYBE LOOKING INTO
PURCHASING SOME.
AND GOOD THING HE WAS WITH ME
980
00:35:42,107 --> 00:35:43,084
PURCHASING SOME.
AND GOOD THING HE WAS WITH ME
'CAUSE IT WAS HARD.
981
00:35:43,108 --> 00:35:44,419
AND GOOD THING HE WAS WITH ME
'CAUSE IT WAS HARD.
I NEVER WOULD'VE FOUND IT.
982
00:35:44,443 --> 00:35:46,121
'CAUSE IT WAS HARD.
I NEVER WOULD'VE FOUND IT.
YOU KNOW, WE WAS DRIVING LITTLE
983
00:35:46,145 --> 00:35:47,855
I NEVER WOULD'VE FOUND IT.
YOU KNOW, WE WAS DRIVING LITTLE
STREETS AND LITTLE ALLEYWAYS AND
984
00:35:47,879 --> 00:35:49,624
YOU KNOW, WE WAS DRIVING LITTLE
STREETS AND LITTLE ALLEYWAYS AND
THAT, BUT IT WAS FANTASTIC, SOME
985
00:35:49,648 --> 00:35:51,092
STREETS AND LITTLE ALLEYWAYS AND
THAT, BUT IT WAS FANTASTIC, SOME
OF THE STUFF THIS GUY HAD,
986
00:35:51,116 --> 00:35:52,059
THAT, BUT IT WAS FANTASTIC, SOME
OF THE STUFF THIS GUY HAD,
I'M TELLING YOU.
987
00:35:52,083 --> 00:35:53,628
OF THE STUFF THIS GUY HAD,
I'M TELLING YOU.
ONE THING HE HAD... OR WHAT HE
988
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:56,364
I'M TELLING YOU.
ONE THING HE HAD... OR WHAT HE
CLAIMED, ANYWAY... WAS THE
989
00:35:56,388 --> 00:35:58,032
ONE THING HE HAD... OR WHAT HE
CLAIMED, ANYWAY... WAS THE
HIGH-SCHOOL-GRADUATION PICTURE
990
00:35:58,056 --> 00:35:58,699
CLAIMED, ANYWAY... WAS THE
HIGH-SCHOOL-GRADUATION PICTURE
OF JESUS.
991
00:35:58,723 --> 00:36:00,368
HIGH-SCHOOL-GRADUATION PICTURE
OF JESUS.
[LAUGHTER]
992
00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:02,103
OF JESUS.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT'S RIGHT.
993
00:36:02,127 --> 00:36:03,771
[LAUGHTER]
THAT'S RIGHT.
BUT I KIND OF SHIED AWAY FROM IT
994
00:36:03,795 --> 00:36:05,340
THAT'S RIGHT.
BUT I KIND OF SHIED AWAY FROM IT
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, HOW CAN YOU
995
00:36:05,364 --> 00:36:06,474
BUT I KIND OF SHIED AWAY FROM IT
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, HOW CAN YOU
TELL IT'S HIM, RIGHT?
996
00:36:06,498 --> 00:36:08,009
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, HOW CAN YOU
TELL IT'S HIM, RIGHT?
'CAUSE IT WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,
997
00:36:08,033 --> 00:36:09,577
TELL IT'S HIM, RIGHT?
'CAUSE IT WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,
YOU KNOW, IT WAS BEFORE HE HAD
998
00:36:09,601 --> 00:36:11,179
'CAUSE IT WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,
YOU KNOW, IT WAS BEFORE HE HAD
THE BEARD AND THE LONG HAIR AND
999
00:36:11,203 --> 00:36:11,646
YOU KNOW, IT WAS BEFORE HE HAD
THE BEARD AND THE LONG HAIR AND
THAT.
1000
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:13,114
THE BEARD AND THE LONG HAIR AND
THAT.
HE WAS REAL STRAIGHT-LOOKING
1001
00:36:13,138 --> 00:36:14,582
THAT.
HE WAS REAL STRAIGHT-LOOKING
THEN, YOU KNOW?
1002
00:36:14,606 --> 00:36:16,083
HE WAS REAL STRAIGHT-LOOKING
THEN, YOU KNOW?
[LAUGHTER]
1003
00:36:16,107 --> 00:36:17,785
THEN, YOU KNOW?
[LAUGHTER]
ALSO, HE HAD SOMETHING.
1004
00:36:17,809 --> 00:36:20,054
[LAUGHTER]
ALSO, HE HAD SOMETHING.
IT WAS A BONE, A FEMUR BONE... A
1005
00:36:20,078 --> 00:36:21,589
ALSO, HE HAD SOMETHING.
IT WAS A BONE, A FEMUR BONE... A
BIG FEMUR BONE... OF
1006
00:36:21,613 --> 00:36:23,691
IT WAS A BONE, A FEMUR BONE... A
BIG FEMUR BONE... OF
SAINT AUGUSTINE, BUT I DIDN'T
1007
00:36:23,715 --> 00:36:25,760
BIG FEMUR BONE... OF
SAINT AUGUSTINE, BUT I DIDN'T
GET IT 'CAUSE IT WAS CHIPPED.
1008
00:36:25,784 --> 00:36:27,862
SAINT AUGUSTINE, BUT I DIDN'T
GET IT 'CAUSE IT WAS CHIPPED.
AND SOMETHING THAT I WOULD'VE
1009
00:36:27,886 --> 00:36:30,131
GET IT 'CAUSE IT WAS CHIPPED.
AND SOMETHING THAT I WOULD'VE
LOVED TO HAVE BOUGHT, BUT I JUST
1010
00:36:30,155 --> 00:36:32,400
AND SOMETHING THAT I WOULD'VE
LOVED TO HAVE BOUGHT, BUT I JUST
COULDN'T AFFORD IT, WAS THE BILL
1011
00:36:32,424 --> 00:36:34,402
LOVED TO HAVE BOUGHT, BUT I JUST
COULDN'T AFFORD IT, WAS THE BILL
FOR THE LAST SUPPER.
1012
00:36:34,426 --> 00:36:37,238
COULDN'T AFFORD IT, WAS THE BILL
FOR THE LAST SUPPER.
[LAUGHTER]
1013
00:36:37,262 --> 00:36:39,240
FOR THE LAST SUPPER.
[LAUGHTER]
IT WAS THE ACTUAL CHECK FROM THE
1014
00:36:39,264 --> 00:36:41,242
[LAUGHTER]
IT WAS THE ACTUAL CHECK FROM THE
LAST SUPPER, BUT HE WANTED
1015
00:36:41,266 --> 00:36:43,511
IT WAS THE ACTUAL CHECK FROM THE
LAST SUPPER, BUT HE WANTED
$50,000 FOR IT... IT WAS WAY
1016
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:44,979
LAST SUPPER, BUT HE WANTED
$50,000 FOR IT... IT WAS WAY
OUT OF MY BALLGAME... BUT HE DID
1017
00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:45,813
$50,000 FOR IT... IT WAS WAY
OUT OF MY BALLGAME... BUT HE DID
HAVE SOMETHING.
1018
00:36:45,837 --> 00:36:47,014
OUT OF MY BALLGAME... BUT HE DID
HAVE SOMETHING.
HE BROUGHT IT OUT LATER.
1019
00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,449
HAVE SOMETHING.
HE BROUGHT IT OUT LATER.
HE SAID, "THIS IS MORE IN YOUR
1020
00:36:48,473 --> 00:36:50,585
HE BROUGHT IT OUT LATER.
HE SAID, "THIS IS MORE IN YOUR
CATEGORY, I THINK, MONEYWISE."
1021
00:36:50,609 --> 00:36:52,720
HE SAID, "THIS IS MORE IN YOUR
CATEGORY, I THINK, MONEYWISE."
AND WHAT IT WAS, WAS A BILL FOR
1022
00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:55,323
CATEGORY, I THINK, MONEYWISE."
AND WHAT IT WAS, WAS A BILL FOR
THE LAST BRUNCH.
1023
00:36:55,347 --> 00:36:56,558
AND WHAT IT WAS, WAS A BILL FOR
THE LAST BRUNCH.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A
1024
00:36:56,582 --> 00:36:57,124
THE LAST BRUNCH.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A
LAST BRUNCH.
1025
00:36:57,148 --> 00:36:58,293
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WAS A
LAST BRUNCH.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S NEWS TO ME.
1026
00:36:58,317 --> 00:36:59,360
LAST BRUNCH.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S NEWS TO ME.
I WENT TO THE SEMINARY AND
1027
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:00,428
YOU KNOW, THAT'S NEWS TO ME.
I WENT TO THE SEMINARY AND
EVERYTHING.
1028
00:37:00,452 --> 00:37:02,530
I WENT TO THE SEMINARY AND
EVERYTHING.
BUT I DID GET IT, AND IT'S
1029
00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:03,998
EVERYTHING.
BUT I DID GET IT, AND IT'S
REALLY SOMETHING.
1030
00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:06,267
BUT I DID GET IT, AND IT'S
REALLY SOMETHING.
AND I KNOW I DIDN'T GET TAKEN
1031
00:37:06,291 --> 00:37:08,636
REALLY SOMETHING.
AND I KNOW I DIDN'T GET TAKEN
'CAUSE RIGHT HERE IS THE DATE.
1032
00:37:08,660 --> 00:37:13,941
AND I KNOW I DIDN'T GET TAKEN
'CAUSE RIGHT HERE IS THE DATE.
IT SAYS 4 APRIL, YEAR 33.
1033
00:37:13,965 --> 00:37:15,276
'CAUSE RIGHT HERE IS THE DATE.
IT SAYS 4 APRIL, YEAR 33.
THAT'S OLD.
1034
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:17,445
IT SAYS 4 APRIL, YEAR 33.
THAT'S OLD.
[LAUGHTER]
1035
00:37:17,469 --> 00:37:18,613
THAT'S OLD.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU KNOW WHAT?
1036
00:37:18,637 --> 00:37:20,748
[LAUGHTER]
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE WANTED $500 FOR THIS, BUT I
1037
00:37:20,772 --> 00:37:23,017
YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE WANTED $500 FOR THIS, BUT I
PRESBYTERIANED HIM DOWN TO $200.
1038
00:37:23,041 --> 00:37:26,821
HE WANTED $500 FOR THIS, BUT I
PRESBYTERIANED HIM DOWN TO $200.
[LAUGHTER]
1039
00:37:26,845 --> 00:37:28,456
PRESBYTERIANED HIM DOWN TO $200.
[LAUGHTER]
WELL, IT SAYS HERE ALL OF THE
1040
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,124
[LAUGHTER]
WELL, IT SAYS HERE ALL OF THE
THINGS THAT THEY HAD THERE FOR
1041
00:37:30,148 --> 00:37:31,392
WELL, IT SAYS HERE ALL OF THE
THINGS THAT THEY HAD THERE FOR
THAT BRUNCH, AND IT'S
1042
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:32,960
THINGS THAT THEY HAD THERE FOR
THAT BRUNCH, AND IT'S
SOMETHING... 12 LARGE ORANGE
1043
00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:39,033
THAT BRUNCH, AND IT'S
SOMETHING... 12 LARGE ORANGE
JUICE, 12 EGGS BENEDICT, 12 LOX
1044
00:37:39,057 --> 00:37:45,106
SOMETHING... 12 LARGE ORANGE
JUICE, 12 EGGS BENEDICT, 12 LOX
AND CREAM CHEESE, 12 HOME FRIES,
1045
00:37:45,130 --> 00:37:47,007
JUICE, 12 EGGS BENEDICT, 12 LOX
AND CREAM CHEESE, 12 HOME FRIES,
ONE SOFT-BOILED EGG, THREE
1046
00:37:47,031 --> 00:37:51,078
AND CREAM CHEESE, 12 HOME FRIES,
ONE SOFT-BOILED EGG, THREE
MINUTES, AND THEN 12 COFFEE, AND
1047
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:51,579
ONE SOFT-BOILED EGG, THREE
MINUTES, AND THEN 12 COFFEE, AND
ONE TEA.
1048
00:37:51,603 --> 00:37:52,880
MINUTES, AND THEN 12 COFFEE, AND
ONE TEA.
WELL, IT WAS PROBABLY THE SAME
1049
00:37:52,904 --> 00:37:54,115
ONE TEA.
WELL, IT WAS PROBABLY THE SAME
GUY THAT HAD THE SOFT-BOILED
1050
00:37:54,139 --> 00:37:55,750
WELL, IT WAS PROBABLY THE SAME
GUY THAT HAD THE SOFT-BOILED
EGG.
1051
00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:59,153
GUY THAT HAD THE SOFT-BOILED
EGG.
ALL TOGETHER COMES HERE TO 155
1052
00:37:59,177 --> 00:37:59,887
EGG.
ALL TOGETHER COMES HERE TO 155
SHEKELS.
1053
00:37:59,911 --> 00:38:01,856
ALL TOGETHER COMES HERE TO 155
SHEKELS.
THAT'S WHAT THEY USED TO CALL
1054
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:06,193
SHEKELS.
THAT'S WHAT THEY USED TO CALL
THEIR MONEY THEN... SHEKELS.
1055
00:38:06,217 --> 00:38:07,328
THAT'S WHAT THEY USED TO CALL
THEIR MONEY THEN... SHEKELS.
AND THIS IS SOMETHING.
1056
00:38:07,352 --> 00:38:08,896
THEIR MONEY THEN... SHEKELS.
AND THIS IS SOMETHING.
DOWN HERE, YOU CAN SEE, SOMEBODY
1057
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:09,731
AND THIS IS SOMETHING.
DOWN HERE, YOU CAN SEE, SOMEBODY
FIGURED IT OUT.
1058
00:38:09,755 --> 00:38:12,567
DOWN HERE, YOU CAN SEE, SOMEBODY
FIGURED IT OUT.
THEY HAVE, LIKE, 13 DIVIDED INTO
1059
00:38:12,591 --> 00:38:16,137
FIGURED IT OUT.
THEY HAVE, LIKE, 13 DIVIDED INTO
155, AND THEN IT COMES TO, LIKE,
1060
00:38:16,161 --> 00:38:20,207
THEY HAVE, LIKE, 13 DIVIDED INTO
155, AND THEN IT COMES TO, LIKE,
11.92 SHEKELS EACH.
1061
00:38:20,231 --> 00:38:22,277
155, AND THEN IT COMES TO, LIKE,
11.92 SHEKELS EACH.
WELL, DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID
1062
00:38:22,301 --> 00:38:22,843
11.92 SHEKELS EACH.
WELL, DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID
HERE?
1063
00:38:22,867 --> 00:38:24,979
WELL, DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID
HERE?
THEY MADE THE GUY THAT JUST HAD
1064
00:38:25,003 --> 00:38:27,081
HERE?
THEY MADE THE GUY THAT JUST HAD
THE EGG AND THE TEA PAY AS MUCH
1065
00:38:27,105 --> 00:38:29,016
THEY MADE THE GUY THAT JUST HAD
THE EGG AND THE TEA PAY AS MUCH
AS ALL THOSE THAT ATE ALL OF
1066
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:29,751
THE EGG AND THE TEA PAY AS MUCH
AS ALL THOSE THAT ATE ALL OF
THOSE THINGS.
1067
00:38:29,775 --> 00:38:32,353
AS ALL THOSE THAT ATE ALL OF
THOSE THINGS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1068
00:38:32,377 --> 00:38:34,188
THOSE THINGS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S RIGHT.
1069
00:38:34,212 --> 00:38:37,024
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND, YOU SEE, EVEN THOUGH THIS
1070
00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:39,927
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND, YOU SEE, EVEN THOUGH THIS
BILL IS ALMOST 2,000 YEARS OLD,
1071
00:38:39,951 --> 00:38:41,663
AND, YOU SEE, EVEN THOUGH THIS
BILL IS ALMOST 2,000 YEARS OLD,
THERE STILL IS A LESSON TO BE
1072
00:38:41,687 --> 00:38:42,597
BILL IS ALMOST 2,000 YEARS OLD,
THERE STILL IS A LESSON TO BE
LEARNED HERE.
1073
00:38:42,621 --> 00:38:44,399
THERE STILL IS A LESSON TO BE
LEARNED HERE.
IF YOU EVER GO OUT TO EAT IN A
1074
00:38:44,423 --> 00:38:46,200
LEARNED HERE.
IF YOU EVER GO OUT TO EAT IN A
RESTAURANT WITH A BIG GROUP...
1075
00:38:46,224 --> 00:38:47,735
IF YOU EVER GO OUT TO EAT IN A
RESTAURANT WITH A BIG GROUP...
YOU KNOW, BRUNCH, DINNER,
1076
00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:49,970
RESTAURANT WITH A BIG GROUP...
YOU KNOW, BRUNCH, DINNER,
WHATEVER... ALWAYS ORDER THE
1077
00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:51,739
YOU KNOW, BRUNCH, DINNER,
WHATEVER... ALWAYS ORDER THE
MOST EXPENSIVE THING.
1078
00:38:51,763 --> 00:38:54,175
WHATEVER... ALWAYS ORDER THE
MOST EXPENSIVE THING.
THIS WAY, IF THEY DIVIDE UP THE
1079
00:38:54,199 --> 00:38:55,576
MOST EXPENSIVE THING.
THIS WAY, IF THEY DIVIDE UP THE
BILL LIKE THEY DID HERE, YOU
1080
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:56,844
THIS WAY, IF THEY DIVIDE UP THE
BILL LIKE THEY DID HERE, YOU
KNOW, YOU WON'T GET TAKEN
1081
00:38:56,868 --> 00:38:58,780
BILL LIKE THEY DID HERE, YOU
KNOW, YOU WON'T GET TAKEN
ADVANTAGE OF.
1082
00:38:58,804 --> 00:39:00,014
KNOW, YOU WON'T GET TAKEN
ADVANTAGE OF.
THAT'S A LITTLE FREE TIP THAT I
1083
00:39:00,038 --> 00:39:01,115
ADVANTAGE OF.
THAT'S A LITTLE FREE TIP THAT I
GIVE YOU FOR NOTHING... YOU
1084
00:39:01,139 --> 00:39:02,016
THAT'S A LITTLE FREE TIP THAT I
GIVE YOU FOR NOTHING... YOU
KNOW, FREE.
1085
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:03,718
GIVE YOU FOR NOTHING... YOU
KNOW, FREE.
IT WAS MORE THAN WONDERFUL
1086
00:39:03,742 --> 00:39:04,952
KNOW, FREE.
IT WAS MORE THAN WONDERFUL
TALKING WITH YOU.
1087
00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:07,888
IT WAS MORE THAN WONDERFUL
TALKING WITH YOU.
ARRIVEDERCI, AMERICA.
1088
00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:08,289
TALKING WITH YOU.
ARRIVEDERCI, AMERICA.
GRAZIE.
1089
00:39:08,313 --> 00:39:09,457
ARRIVEDERCI, AMERICA.
GRAZIE.
LET ME JUST TAKE THE CHECK
1090
00:39:09,481 --> 00:39:09,890
GRAZIE.
LET ME JUST TAKE THE CHECK
FATHER.
1091
00:39:09,914 --> 00:39:10,958
LET ME JUST TAKE THE CHECK
FATHER.
TAKE A LOOK AT.
1092
00:39:10,982 --> 00:39:12,126
FATHER.
TAKE A LOOK AT.
YOU'RE A MAN OF THE CLOTH.
1093
00:39:12,150 --> 00:39:12,760
TAKE A LOOK AT.
YOU'RE A MAN OF THE CLOTH.
THIS IS ON ME.
1094
00:39:12,784 --> 00:39:13,494
YOU'RE A MAN OF THE CLOTH.
THIS IS ON ME.
THAT'S THE NEWS.
1095
00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:14,729
THIS IS ON ME.
THAT'S THE NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT
1096
00:39:14,753 --> 00:39:16,798
THAT'S THE NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.
1097
00:39:16,822 --> 00:39:19,262
GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1098
00:39:26,930 --> 00:39:31,346
Announcer: TONIGHT,
"FAMILY CLASSICS" BEGINS ITS
SECOND SEASON WITH PART ONE OF A
1099
00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:32,413
"FAMILY CLASSICS" BEGINS ITS
SECOND SEASON WITH PART ONE OF A
NEW DICKENS NOVEL,
1100
00:39:32,437 --> 00:39:35,372
SECOND SEASON WITH PART ONE OF A
NEW DICKENS NOVEL,
"MILES COWPERTHWAITE."
1101
00:39:46,049 --> 00:39:52,066
"THE WRETCHED BIRTH,
MISERABLE CHILDHOOD, AGONIZINGLY
PAINFUL ADOLESCENCE, AND
1102
00:39:52,090 --> 00:39:54,369
MISERABLE CHILDHOOD, AGONIZINGLY
PAINFUL ADOLESCENCE, AND
APPALLINGLY VILE AND DEGRADING
1103
00:39:54,393 --> 00:39:58,673
PAINFUL ADOLESCENCE, AND
APPALLINGLY VILE AND DEGRADING
DEATH OF MILES COWPERTHWAITE.
1104
00:39:58,697 --> 00:40:02,910
APPALLINGLY VILE AND DEGRADING
DEATH OF MILES COWPERTHWAITE.
CHAPTER ONE... I AM BORN.
1105
00:40:02,934 --> 00:40:05,112
DEATH OF MILES COWPERTHWAITE.
CHAPTER ONE... I AM BORN.
MY NAME IS MILES COWPERTHWAITE,
1106
00:40:05,136 --> 00:40:07,314
CHAPTER ONE... I AM BORN.
MY NAME IS MILES COWPERTHWAITE,
AND I AM, OF COURSE, AN ORPHAN.
1107
00:40:07,338 --> 00:40:09,517
MY NAME IS MILES COWPERTHWAITE,
AND I AM, OF COURSE, AN ORPHAN.
MY FATHER DIED TWO YEARS BEFORE
1108
00:40:09,541 --> 00:40:11,552
AND I AM, OF COURSE, AN ORPHAN.
MY FATHER DIED TWO YEARS BEFORE
I WAS BORN, AND MY MOTHER, A
1109
00:40:11,576 --> 00:40:13,688
MY FATHER DIED TWO YEARS BEFORE
I WAS BORN, AND MY MOTHER, A
YEAR LATER, AND, AGAIN, A YEAR
1110
00:40:13,712 --> 00:40:15,390
I WAS BORN, AND MY MOTHER, A
YEAR LATER, AND, AGAIN, A YEAR
AFTER THAT.
1111
00:40:15,414 --> 00:40:17,057
YEAR LATER, AND, AGAIN, A YEAR
AFTER THAT.
I WAS FOUND, SO I'M TOLD,
1112
00:40:17,081 --> 00:40:19,159
AFTER THAT.
I WAS FOUND, SO I'M TOLD,
STUFFED IN A BOTTLE AND STRAPPED
1113
00:40:19,183 --> 00:40:21,228
I WAS FOUND, SO I'M TOLD,
STUFFED IN A BOTTLE AND STRAPPED
TO THE HULL OF A CESS BARGE NEAR
1114
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,564
STUFFED IN A BOTTLE AND STRAPPED
TO THE HULL OF A CESS BARGE NEAR
STOKE-ON-TRENT.
1115
00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:25,332
TO THE HULL OF A CESS BARGE NEAR
STOKE-ON-TRENT.
EACH DAY, MY LITTLE MATES AND I
1116
00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:27,067
STOKE-ON-TRENT.
EACH DAY, MY LITTLE MATES AND I
WENT DOWN TO MEET THE HOSPITAL
1117
00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:28,870
EACH DAY, MY LITTLE MATES AND I
WENT DOWN TO MEET THE HOSPITAL
SHIPS RETURNING FROM THE CRIMEA,
1118
00:40:28,894 --> 00:40:30,705
WENT DOWN TO MEET THE HOSPITAL
SHIPS RETURNING FROM THE CRIMEA,
WHERE WE WERE ALLOWED TO EAT ALL
1119
00:40:30,729 --> 00:40:33,407
SHIPS RETURNING FROM THE CRIMEA,
WHERE WE WERE ALLOWED TO EAT ALL
THE SOILED LINEN ON BOARD.
1120
00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:35,498
BUT DESPITE THE REGULAR MEALS, I
1121
00:40:35,633 --> 00:40:37,634
FELT AN INEXPLICABLE LONGING FOR
1122
00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:39,636
CHANGE, AND AT THE AGE OF 2, I
1123
00:40:39,770 --> 00:40:41,604
RAN AWAY TO CORNWALL, WHERE I
1124
00:40:41,739 --> 00:40:43,506
FOUND EMPLOYMENT PICKING THE
1125
00:40:43,641 --> 00:40:45,642
NOSES OF CORNISH FISHERMEN FOR A
1126
00:40:45,776 --> 00:40:47,009
FEW MUSSELS A WEEK.
1127
00:40:47,144 --> 00:40:49,111
IN THE HARD WINTER OF 1842, I
1128
00:40:49,246 --> 00:40:51,013
EARNED A FEW EXTRA PENNIES
1129
00:40:51,148 --> 00:40:52,982
FEEDING PARTS OF MY BODY TO
1130
00:40:53,116 --> 00:40:54,784
STARVING DOGS.
1131
00:40:55,052 --> 00:41:00,868
THEN, AT THE AGE OF 10, MY LIFE
TOOK AN ABRUPT TURN FOR THE
BETTER WHEN I RECEIVED A NOTE
1132
00:41:00,892 --> 00:41:02,770
TOOK AN ABRUPT TURN FOR THE
BETTER WHEN I RECEIVED A NOTE
INVITING ME TO THE HOME OF A
1133
00:41:02,794 --> 00:41:04,672
BETTER WHEN I RECEIVED A NOTE
INVITING ME TO THE HOME OF A
MYSTERIOUS BENEFACTOR IN THE
1134
00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:07,708
INVITING ME TO THE HOME OF A
MYSTERIOUS BENEFACTOR IN THE
NORTHAMPTONSHIRE COUNTRYSIDE."
1135
00:41:07,732 --> 00:41:09,944
MYSTERIOUS BENEFACTOR IN THE
NORTHAMPTONSHIRE COUNTRYSIDE."
WELL, WELL, WELL.
1136
00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:10,945
NORTHAMPTONSHIRE COUNTRYSIDE."
WELL, WELL, WELL.
GOD BLESS US ALL.
1137
00:41:10,969 --> 00:41:12,580
WELL, WELL, WELL.
GOD BLESS US ALL.
SO, YOU'RE THE NEW BOY COME TO
1138
00:41:12,604 --> 00:41:14,281
GOD BLESS US ALL.
SO, YOU'RE THE NEW BOY COME TO
HELP LORD PINKNEY.
1139
00:41:14,305 --> 00:41:15,483
SO, YOU'RE THE NEW BOY COME TO
HELP LORD PINKNEY.
IS THAT IT?
1140
00:41:15,507 --> 00:41:18,018
HELP LORD PINKNEY.
IS THAT IT?
WELL, LOTS OF MERCY, I GUESS.
1141
00:41:18,042 --> 00:41:18,619
IS THAT IT?
WELL, LOTS OF MERCY, I GUESS.
MY, MY.
1142
00:41:18,643 --> 00:41:20,321
WELL, LOTS OF MERCY, I GUESS.
MY, MY.
WELL, I'M PEG THE HOUSEKEEPER,
1143
00:41:20,345 --> 00:41:22,089
MY, MY.
WELL, I'M PEG THE HOUSEKEEPER,
AND IF YOU WANT TO GET ON HERE,
1144
00:41:22,113 --> 00:41:23,424
WELL, I'M PEG THE HOUSEKEEPER,
AND IF YOU WANT TO GET ON HERE,
JUST SEE THAT YOU MIND YOUR
1145
00:41:23,448 --> 00:41:24,692
AND IF YOU WANT TO GET ON HERE,
JUST SEE THAT YOU MIND YOUR
MANNERS AND ATTEND TO YOUR
1146
00:41:24,716 --> 00:41:25,192
JUST SEE THAT YOU MIND YOUR
MANNERS AND ATTEND TO YOUR
DUTIES.
1147
00:41:25,216 --> 00:41:26,594
MANNERS AND ATTEND TO YOUR
DUTIES.
BEGGING YOU PARDON, MA'AM,
1148
00:41:26,618 --> 00:41:27,595
DUTIES.
BEGGING YOU PARDON, MA'AM,
WHAT ARE MY DUTIES?
1149
00:41:27,619 --> 00:41:29,764
BEGGING YOU PARDON, MA'AM,
WHAT ARE MY DUTIES?
I CAN COOK AND SING AND PICK A
1150
00:41:29,788 --> 00:41:31,532
WHAT ARE MY DUTIES?
I CAN COOK AND SING AND PICK A
NOSE AS WELL AS ANY MAN.
1151
00:41:31,556 --> 00:41:32,967
I CAN COOK AND SING AND PICK A
NOSE AS WELL AS ANY MAN.
OH, WELL, I NEVER.
1152
00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:34,401
NOSE AS WELL AS ANY MAN.
OH, WELL, I NEVER.
WELL, JUST LISTEN.
1153
00:41:34,425 --> 00:41:36,537
OH, WELL, I NEVER.
WELL, JUST LISTEN.
YOUR NEW MASTER, LORD PINKNEY,
1154
00:41:36,561 --> 00:41:38,405
WELL, JUST LISTEN.
YOUR NEW MASTER, LORD PINKNEY,
IS THE DEAREST, SWEETEST,
1155
00:41:38,429 --> 00:41:40,074
YOUR NEW MASTER, LORD PINKNEY,
IS THE DEAREST, SWEETEST,
KINDEST MAN WHO EVER DREW
1156
00:41:40,098 --> 00:41:42,109
IS THE DEAREST, SWEETEST,
KINDEST MAN WHO EVER DREW
BREATH, BUT FOR ALL HIS KINDNESS
1157
00:41:42,133 --> 00:41:44,178
KINDEST MAN WHO EVER DREW
BREATH, BUT FOR ALL HIS KINDNESS
AND NOBILITY OF NATURE, THE POOR
1158
00:41:44,202 --> 00:41:46,113
BREATH, BUT FOR ALL HIS KINDNESS
AND NOBILITY OF NATURE, THE POOR
SOUL HAS BEEN VISITED WITH TWO
1159
00:41:46,137 --> 00:41:47,381
AND NOBILITY OF NATURE, THE POOR
SOUL HAS BEEN VISITED WITH TWO
SORRY AFFLICTIONS.
1160
00:41:47,405 --> 00:41:49,784
SOUL HAS BEEN VISITED WITH TWO
SORRY AFFLICTIONS.
ONE, HE SALIVATES EXCESSIVELY,
1161
00:41:49,808 --> 00:41:51,552
SORRY AFFLICTIONS.
ONE, HE SALIVATES EXCESSIVELY,
SO MUCH SO THAT HE MUST ALWAYS
1162
00:41:51,576 --> 00:41:53,153
ONE, HE SALIVATES EXCESSIVELY,
SO MUCH SO THAT HE MUST ALWAYS
WEAR A SILVER DROOL BUCKET
1163
00:41:53,177 --> 00:41:54,889
SO MUCH SO THAT HE MUST ALWAYS
WEAR A SILVER DROOL BUCKET
STRAPPED TO HIS CHIN TO CATCH
1164
00:41:54,913 --> 00:41:55,590
WEAR A SILVER DROOL BUCKET
STRAPPED TO HIS CHIN TO CATCH
THE FLOW.
1165
00:41:55,614 --> 00:41:57,391
STRAPPED TO HIS CHIN TO CATCH
THE FLOW.
TWO, HE SUFFERS FROM A RHYTHMIC
1166
00:41:57,415 --> 00:41:59,126
THE FLOW.
TWO, HE SUFFERS FROM A RHYTHMIC
NERVOUS CONDITION WHICH CAUSES
1167
00:41:59,150 --> 00:42:00,862
TWO, HE SUFFERS FROM A RHYTHMIC
NERVOUS CONDITION WHICH CAUSES
HIM TO FALL INTO FITS WHERE HE
1168
00:42:00,886 --> 00:42:02,530
NERVOUS CONDITION WHICH CAUSES
HIM TO FALL INTO FITS WHERE HE
THRUSTS HIMSELF AGAINST OTHER
1169
00:42:02,554 --> 00:42:04,231
HIM TO FALL INTO FITS WHERE HE
THRUSTS HIMSELF AGAINST OTHER
INDIVIDUALS, DRAPING HIS BODY
1170
00:42:04,255 --> 00:42:06,066
THRUSTS HIMSELF AGAINST OTHER
INDIVIDUALS, DRAPING HIS BODY
AROUND THEIRS AND INVADING THEIR
1171
00:42:06,090 --> 00:42:07,267
INDIVIDUALS, DRAPING HIS BODY
AROUND THEIRS AND INVADING THEIR
PERSONAL SPACES.
1172
00:42:07,291 --> 00:42:10,371
AROUND THEIRS AND INVADING THEIR
PERSONAL SPACES.
WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?
1173
00:42:10,395 --> 00:42:12,072
PERSONAL SPACES.
WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?
AH, THERE'S THE MASTER NOW.
1174
00:42:12,096 --> 00:42:13,541
WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?
AH, THERE'S THE MASTER NOW.
WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?
1175
00:42:13,565 --> 00:42:15,142
AH, THERE'S THE MASTER NOW.
WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE FETCH ME
1176
00:42:15,166 --> 00:42:17,812
WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE FETCH ME
A FRESH DROOL BUCKET?
1177
00:42:17,836 --> 00:42:21,549
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE FETCH ME
A FRESH DROOL BUCKET?
AH, LORD PINKNEY, HERE'S THE
1178
00:42:21,573 --> 00:42:25,252
A FRESH DROOL BUCKET?
AH, LORD PINKNEY, HERE'S THE
YOUNG BOY, MILES, YOU SENT FOR.
1179
00:42:25,276 --> 00:42:27,588
AH, LORD PINKNEY, HERE'S THE
YOUNG BOY, MILES, YOU SENT FOR.
OH, YOUNG MILES, IS IT?
1180
00:42:27,612 --> 00:42:29,790
YOUNG BOY, MILES, YOU SENT FOR.
OH, YOUNG MILES, IS IT?
WHAT A FINE LAD YOU ARE.
1181
00:42:29,814 --> 00:42:31,225
OH, YOUNG MILES, IS IT?
WHAT A FINE LAD YOU ARE.
SIT DOWN, BOY.
1182
00:42:31,249 --> 00:42:32,292
WHAT A FINE LAD YOU ARE.
SIT DOWN, BOY.
SIT DOWN.
1183
00:42:32,316 --> 00:42:34,996
SIT DOWN, BOY.
SIT DOWN.
OH, WE SHALL GET ON HANDSOMELY,
1184
00:42:35,020 --> 00:42:36,130
SIT DOWN.
OH, WE SHALL GET ON HANDSOMELY,
YOU AND I.
1185
00:42:36,154 --> 00:42:38,633
OH, WE SHALL GET ON HANDSOMELY,
YOU AND I.
YOU SHALL BE CLOTHED AND FED
1186
00:42:38,657 --> 00:42:39,734
YOU AND I.
YOU SHALL BE CLOTHED AND FED
AND...
1187
00:42:39,758 --> 00:42:42,703
YOU SHALL BE CLOTHED AND FED
AND...
OH, DEAR, IT'S HAPPENING.
1188
00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:44,572
AND...
OH, DEAR, IT'S HAPPENING.
I HAVE THIS...
1189
00:42:44,596 --> 00:42:45,372
OH, DEAR, IT'S HAPPENING.
I HAVE THIS...
OH!
1190
00:42:45,396 --> 00:42:46,741
I HAVE THIS...
OH!
OH, DEAR!
1191
00:42:46,765 --> 00:42:50,978
OH!
OH, DEAR!
I'M SO SORRY.
1192
00:42:51,002 --> 00:42:52,079
OH, DEAR!
I'M SO SORRY.
OH, THANK YOU.
1193
00:42:52,103 --> 00:42:52,947
I'M SO SORRY.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
1194
00:42:52,971 --> 00:42:55,016
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THAT WAS A BLOW THAT COULD ONLY
1195
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,051
THANK YOU.
THAT WAS A BLOW THAT COULD ONLY
HAVE BEEN DELIVERED BY MY DEAR
1196
00:42:57,075 --> 00:42:58,118
THAT WAS A BLOW THAT COULD ONLY
HAVE BEEN DELIVERED BY MY DEAR
MISS PEG.
1197
00:42:58,142 --> 00:43:00,821
HAVE BEEN DELIVERED BY MY DEAR
MISS PEG.
OH, DEAR PEG, YOU KNOW JUST THE
1198
00:43:00,845 --> 00:43:02,222
MISS PEG.
OH, DEAR PEG, YOU KNOW JUST THE
SPOT.
1199
00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:06,449
OH, DEAR PEG, YOU KNOW JUST THE
SPOT.
FETCH AFTER FRESH DROOL BUCKET.
1200
00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:18,172
OH, THANK YOU, MISS PEG.
"AS THE DAYS PASSED, I
QUICKLY BECAME ACCUSTOMED TO THE
1201
00:43:18,196 --> 00:43:20,307
"AS THE DAYS PASSED, I
QUICKLY BECAME ACCUSTOMED TO THE
ROUTINE OF LIFE AT PINKNEY HALL.
1202
00:43:20,331 --> 00:43:22,176
QUICKLY BECAME ACCUSTOMED TO THE
ROUTINE OF LIFE AT PINKNEY HALL.
EMPTYING THE MASTER'S DROOL
1203
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,278
ROUTINE OF LIFE AT PINKNEY HALL.
EMPTYING THE MASTER'S DROOL
BUCKETS INTO THE DROOL SLUICES,
1204
00:43:24,302 --> 00:43:25,680
EMPTYING THE MASTER'S DROOL
BUCKETS INTO THE DROOL SLUICES,
WHICH FED INTO THE DROOL
1205
00:43:25,704 --> 00:43:27,347
BUCKETS INTO THE DROOL SLUICES,
WHICH FED INTO THE DROOL
RESERVOIRS, TOOK UP MUCH OF MY
1206
00:43:27,371 --> 00:43:29,050
WHICH FED INTO THE DROOL
RESERVOIRS, TOOK UP MUCH OF MY
TIME, BUT, SADLY, I WAS NOT YET
1207
00:43:29,074 --> 00:43:30,785
RESERVOIRS, TOOK UP MUCH OF MY
TIME, BUT, SADLY, I WAS NOT YET
TRUSTED WITH THE RESPONSIBILITY
1208
00:43:30,809 --> 00:43:32,553
TIME, BUT, SADLY, I WAS NOT YET
TRUSTED WITH THE RESPONSIBILITY
OF HELPING MISS PEG TO WRING OUT
1209
00:43:32,577 --> 00:43:33,921
TRUSTED WITH THE RESPONSIBILITY
OF HELPING MISS PEG TO WRING OUT
THE NAPKINS, PILLOWS, AND
1210
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:35,322
OF HELPING MISS PEG TO WRING OUT
THE NAPKINS, PILLOWS, AND
HASSOCKS THAT WERE ALWAYS
1211
00:43:35,346 --> 00:43:36,791
THE NAPKINS, PILLOWS, AND
HASSOCKS THAT WERE ALWAYS
STAINED AND SOAKED WITH HIS
1212
00:43:36,815 --> 00:43:43,898
HASSOCKS THAT WERE ALWAYS
STAINED AND SOAKED WITH HIS
LORDSHIP'S DRIBBLINGS.
1213
00:43:43,922 --> 00:43:44,899
STAINED AND SOAKED WITH HIS
LORDSHIP'S DRIBBLINGS.
THEN, ONE DAY, WHILE
1214
00:43:44,923 --> 00:43:46,433
LORDSHIP'S DRIBBLINGS.
THEN, ONE DAY, WHILE
INVESTIGATING A PROBLEM WITH THE
1215
00:43:46,457 --> 00:43:47,802
THEN, ONE DAY, WHILE
INVESTIGATING A PROBLEM WITH THE
LOCKED GATES WHICH CONTROLLED
1216
00:43:47,826 --> 00:43:49,136
INVESTIGATING A PROBLEM WITH THE
LOCKED GATES WHICH CONTROLLED
THE DROOL IRRIGATION SYSTEM
1217
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:50,404
LOCKED GATES WHICH CONTROLLED
THE DROOL IRRIGATION SYSTEM
THAT WATERED THE VEGETABLE
1218
00:43:50,428 --> 00:43:52,607
THE DROOL IRRIGATION SYSTEM
THAT WATERED THE VEGETABLE
GARDEN, I ENTERED THE COTTAGE OF
1219
00:43:52,631 --> 00:43:54,742
THAT WATERED THE VEGETABLE
GARDEN, I ENTERED THE COTTAGE OF
THE GROUNDSKEEPER, TOM, WHERE I
1220
00:43:54,766 --> 00:44:00,014
GARDEN, I ENTERED THE COTTAGE OF
THE GROUNDSKEEPER, TOM, WHERE I
MADE A MOST UNUSUAL DISCOVERY.
1221
00:44:00,038 --> 00:44:02,650
THE GROUNDSKEEPER, TOM, WHERE I
MADE A MOST UNUSUAL DISCOVERY.
IT WAS A LITTLE GIRL... THE MOST
1222
00:44:02,674 --> 00:44:05,052
MADE A MOST UNUSUAL DISCOVERY.
IT WAS A LITTLE GIRL... THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'D EVER SEEN.
1223
00:44:05,076 --> 00:44:06,186
IT WAS A LITTLE GIRL... THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'D EVER SEEN.
I LEARNED THAT HER NAME WAS
1224
00:44:06,210 --> 00:44:07,521
BEAUTIFUL GIRL I'D EVER SEEN.
I LEARNED THAT HER NAME WAS
LITTLE KATE, THE DAUGHTER OF ONE
1225
00:44:07,545 --> 00:44:08,756
I LEARNED THAT HER NAME WAS
LITTLE KATE, THE DAUGHTER OF ONE
OF THE GROUNDSKEEPERS, AND THAT
1226
00:44:08,780 --> 00:44:11,425
LITTLE KATE, THE DAUGHTER OF ONE
OF THE GROUNDSKEEPERS, AND THAT
SHE WAS DYING... INDEED, HAD
1227
00:44:11,449 --> 00:44:12,927
OF THE GROUNDSKEEPERS, AND THAT
SHE WAS DYING... INDEED, HAD
BEEN DYING FOR AS LONG AS ANYONE
1228
00:44:12,951 --> 00:44:15,096
SHE WAS DYING... INDEED, HAD
BEEN DYING FOR AS LONG AS ANYONE
COULD REMEMBER.
1229
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:16,664
BEEN DYING FOR AS LONG AS ANYONE
COULD REMEMBER.
I ASKED IF THERE WEREN'T SOME
1230
00:44:16,688 --> 00:44:18,198
COULD REMEMBER.
I ASKED IF THERE WEREN'T SOME
CHANCE SHE MIGHT RECOVER, BUT
1231
00:44:18,222 --> 00:44:19,900
I ASKED IF THERE WEREN'T SOME
CHANCE SHE MIGHT RECOVER, BUT
MISS PEG EXPLAINED TO ME THAT IT
1232
00:44:19,924 --> 00:44:20,668
CHANCE SHE MIGHT RECOVER, BUT
MISS PEG EXPLAINED TO ME THAT IT
WAS USELESS.
1233
00:44:20,692 --> 00:44:22,302
MISS PEG EXPLAINED TO ME THAT IT
WAS USELESS.
ALL THE GROUNDSKEEPERS AND GAME
1234
00:44:22,326 --> 00:44:23,771
WAS USELESS.
ALL THE GROUNDSKEEPERS AND GAME
WARDENS IN ENGLAND HAD BEEN
1235
00:44:23,795 --> 00:44:25,640
ALL THE GROUNDSKEEPERS AND GAME
WARDENS IN ENGLAND HAD BEEN
CONSULTED, AND THE VERDICT WAS
1236
00:44:25,664 --> 00:44:26,874
WARDENS IN ENGLAND HAD BEEN
CONSULTED, AND THE VERDICT WAS
UNANIMOUS.
1237
00:44:26,898 --> 00:44:29,409
CONSULTED, AND THE VERDICT WAS
UNANIMOUS.
ONLY A DOCTOR COULD SAVE HER.
1238
00:44:29,433 --> 00:44:31,012
UNANIMOUS.
ONLY A DOCTOR COULD SAVE HER.
BUT LORD PINKNEY, IN HIS
1239
00:44:31,036 --> 00:44:34,815
ONLY A DOCTOR COULD SAVE HER.
BUT LORD PINKNEY, IN HIS
KINDNESS, VISITED HER OFTEN."
1240
00:44:34,839 --> 00:44:39,086
BUT LORD PINKNEY, IN HIS
KINDNESS, VISITED HER OFTEN."
OH, LITTLE KATE.
1241
00:44:39,110 --> 00:44:40,287
KINDNESS, VISITED HER OFTEN."
OH, LITTLE KATE.
BEGGING YOUR PARDON, YOUR
1242
00:44:40,311 --> 00:44:41,155
OH, LITTLE KATE.
BEGGING YOUR PARDON, YOUR
LORDSHIP.
1243
00:44:41,179 --> 00:44:43,223
BEGGING YOUR PARDON, YOUR
LORDSHIP.
DO YOU THINK THAT LITTLE KATE
1244
00:44:43,247 --> 00:44:44,125
LORDSHIP.
DO YOU THINK THAT LITTLE KATE
WILL LIVE?
1245
00:44:44,149 --> 00:44:46,393
DO YOU THINK THAT LITTLE KATE
WILL LIVE?
OH, TOM, I MUST BE FRANK WITH
1246
00:44:46,417 --> 00:44:46,927
WILL LIVE?
OH, TOM, I MUST BE FRANK WITH
YOU.
1247
00:44:46,951 --> 00:44:48,696
OH, TOM, I MUST BE FRANK WITH
YOU.
LITTLE KATE IS DYING.
1248
00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:51,098
YOU.
LITTLE KATE IS DYING.
WE MUST ALL TRY TO MAKE HER AS
1249
00:44:51,122 --> 00:44:52,667
LITTLE KATE IS DYING.
WE MUST ALL TRY TO MAKE HER AS
COMFORTABLE AS WE CAN.
1250
00:44:52,691 --> 00:44:54,802
WE MUST ALL TRY TO MAKE HER AS
COMFORTABLE AS WE CAN.
WHY, FOR ALL WE KNOW, SHE MAY BE
1251
00:44:54,826 --> 00:44:55,870
COMFORTABLE AS WE CAN.
WHY, FOR ALL WE KNOW, SHE MAY BE
DEAD ALREADY.
1252
00:44:55,894 --> 00:44:58,706
WHY, FOR ALL WE KNOW, SHE MAY BE
DEAD ALREADY.
NO, YOUR LORDSHIP.
1253
00:44:58,730 --> 00:45:00,741
DEAD ALREADY.
NO, YOUR LORDSHIP.
BEGGING YOUR PARDON, I'M STILL
1254
00:45:00,765 --> 00:45:02,342
NO, YOUR LORDSHIP.
BEGGING YOUR PARDON, I'M STILL
CLINGING TO LIFE.
1255
00:45:02,366 --> 00:45:04,845
BEGGING YOUR PARDON, I'M STILL
CLINGING TO LIFE.
YOUR LORDSHIP, I HAVE MADE
1256
00:45:04,869 --> 00:45:07,048
CLINGING TO LIFE.
YOUR LORDSHIP, I HAVE MADE
SOME INQUIRIES, AND I HAVE FOUND
1257
00:45:07,072 --> 00:45:09,116
YOUR LORDSHIP, I HAVE MADE
SOME INQUIRIES, AND I HAVE FOUND
THAT THERE ARE SEVERAL DOCTORS
1258
00:45:09,140 --> 00:45:10,117
SOME INQUIRIES, AND I HAVE FOUND
THAT THERE ARE SEVERAL DOCTORS
IN THE TOWN.
1259
00:45:10,141 --> 00:45:11,018
THAT THERE ARE SEVERAL DOCTORS
IN THE TOWN.
PERHAPS...
1260
00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:12,853
IN THE TOWN.
PERHAPS...
OH, TOM, LITTLE KATE IS
1261
00:45:12,877 --> 00:45:13,487
PERHAPS...
OH, TOM, LITTLE KATE IS
DYING.
1262
00:45:13,511 --> 00:45:15,622
OH, TOM, LITTLE KATE IS
DYING.
SHE HAS ACCEPTED THAT FACT, AND
1263
00:45:15,646 --> 00:45:19,393
DYING.
SHE HAS ACCEPTED THAT FACT, AND
SO MUST WE.
1264
00:45:19,417 --> 00:45:21,095
SHE HAS ACCEPTED THAT FACT, AND
SO MUST WE.
BUT THE VILLAGE IS ONLY A
1265
00:45:21,119 --> 00:45:22,163
SO MUST WE.
BUT THE VILLAGE IS ONLY A
MILE FROM HERE.
1266
00:45:22,187 --> 00:45:23,397
BUT THE VILLAGE IS ONLY A
MILE FROM HERE.
I COULD WALK THERE.
1267
00:45:23,421 --> 00:45:24,799
MILE FROM HERE.
I COULD WALK THERE.
HE'S RIGHT, FATHER.
1268
00:45:24,823 --> 00:45:26,533
I COULD WALK THERE.
HE'S RIGHT, FATHER.
DON'T TROUBLE YOURSELF ON MY
1269
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:27,201
HE'S RIGHT, FATHER.
DON'T TROUBLE YOURSELF ON MY
ACCOUNT.
1270
00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:30,171
DON'T TROUBLE YOURSELF ON MY
ACCOUNT.
ALL I WANT IS TO REST, AND SOON
1271
00:45:30,195 --> 00:45:31,672
ACCOUNT.
ALL I WANT IS TO REST, AND SOON
I'LL BE WITH MOTHER.
1272
00:45:31,696 --> 00:45:32,740
ALL I WANT IS TO REST, AND SOON
I'LL BE WITH MOTHER.
GOD BLESS US.
1273
00:45:32,764 --> 00:45:34,842
I'LL BE WITH MOTHER.
GOD BLESS US.
OH, WHEN I SEE THE WAY THIS
1274
00:45:34,866 --> 00:45:36,944
GOD BLESS US.
OH, WHEN I SEE THE WAY THIS
LITTLE LAMB RESIGNS HERSELF TO
1275
00:45:36,968 --> 00:45:39,113
OH, WHEN I SEE THE WAY THIS
LITTLE LAMB RESIGNS HERSELF TO
THE DIVINE WILL, I THINK OF HOW
1276
00:45:39,137 --> 00:45:42,149
LITTLE LAMB RESIGNS HERSELF TO
THE DIVINE WILL, I THINK OF HOW
VILE I AM TO COMPLAIN OF MY OWN
1277
00:45:42,173 --> 00:45:43,584
THE DIVINE WILL, I THINK OF HOW
VILE I AM TO COMPLAIN OF MY OWN
AFFLICTIONS.
1278
00:45:43,608 --> 00:45:45,886
VILE I AM TO COMPLAIN OF MY OWN
AFFLICTIONS.
THIS FRAIL LITTLE SPIRIT...
1279
00:45:45,910 --> 00:45:47,621
AFFLICTIONS.
THIS FRAIL LITTLE SPIRIT...
OH, NO.
1280
00:45:47,645 --> 00:45:50,691
THIS FRAIL LITTLE SPIRIT...
OH, NO.
OH. OH!
1281
00:45:50,715 --> 00:45:51,959
OH, NO.
OH. OH!
I'M SO SORRY, KATE.
1282
00:45:51,983 --> 00:45:52,593
OH. OH!
I'M SO SORRY, KATE.
OH. OH.
1283
00:45:52,617 --> 00:45:54,361
I'M SO SORRY, KATE.
OH. OH.
MY LORDSHIP, BEGGING YOUR
1284
00:45:54,385 --> 00:45:55,562
OH. OH.
MY LORDSHIP, BEGGING YOUR
LORDSHIP'S PARDON.
1285
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:57,531
MY LORDSHIP, BEGGING YOUR
LORDSHIP'S PARDON.
LITTLE KATE NEEDS HER SPACE, AND
1286
00:45:57,555 --> 00:45:58,799
LORDSHIP'S PARDON.
LITTLE KATE NEEDS HER SPACE, AND
YOU'RE INVADING IT.
1287
00:45:58,823 --> 00:46:01,001
LITTLE KATE NEEDS HER SPACE, AND
YOU'RE INVADING IT.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
1288
00:46:01,025 --> 00:46:05,372
YOU'RE INVADING IT.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
OH. OH. OH.
1289
00:46:05,396 --> 00:46:09,076
I CAN'T HELP IT.
OH. OH. OH.
OH, THANK... THANK... THANK YOU.
1290
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:09,610
OH. OH. OH.
OH, THANK... THANK... THANK YOU.
KATE.
1291
00:46:09,634 --> 00:46:11,511
OH, THANK... THANK... THANK YOU.
KATE.
I'M SORRY, YOUR LORDSHIP, BUT
1292
00:46:11,535 --> 00:46:13,380
KATE.
I'M SORRY, YOUR LORDSHIP, BUT
IT WAS GETTING DIFFICULT FOR ME
1293
00:46:13,404 --> 00:46:14,215
I'M SORRY, YOUR LORDSHIP, BUT
IT WAS GETTING DIFFICULT FOR ME
TO BREATHE.
1294
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,117
IT WAS GETTING DIFFICULT FOR ME
TO BREATHE.
THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, DEAR,
1295
00:46:16,141 --> 00:46:21,756
TO BREATHE.
THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, DEAR,
DEAR LITTLE KATE.
1296
00:46:21,780 --> 00:46:23,257
THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, DEAR,
DEAR LITTLE KATE.
"THE GOODNESS IN KATE'S
1297
00:46:23,281 --> 00:46:24,725
DEAR LITTLE KATE.
"THE GOODNESS IN KATE'S
FRAIL, LITTLE BEING SHONE
1298
00:46:24,749 --> 00:46:26,093
"THE GOODNESS IN KATE'S
FRAIL, LITTLE BEING SHONE
THROUGH THE VEIL OF HER
1299
00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:27,862
FRAIL, LITTLE BEING SHONE
THROUGH THE VEIL OF HER
AFFLICTION AND MADE ME LOVE HER
1300
00:46:27,886 --> 00:46:31,498
THROUGH THE VEIL OF HER
AFFLICTION AND MADE ME LOVE HER
FROM THE FIRST.
1301
00:46:31,522 --> 00:46:32,767
AFFLICTION AND MADE ME LOVE HER
FROM THE FIRST.
I WAS NOW HAPPIER IN MY
1302
00:46:32,791 --> 00:46:34,368
FROM THE FIRST.
I WAS NOW HAPPIER IN MY
SITUATION THAN I HAD EVER BEEN
1303
00:46:34,392 --> 00:46:36,036
I WAS NOW HAPPIER IN MY
SITUATION THAN I HAD EVER BEEN
AND GROWING EVER MORE PROFICIENT
1304
00:46:36,060 --> 00:46:36,871
SITUATION THAN I HAD EVER BEEN
AND GROWING EVER MORE PROFICIENT
IN MY DUTIES.
1305
00:46:36,895 --> 00:46:38,538
AND GROWING EVER MORE PROFICIENT
IN MY DUTIES.
THE COLONEL'S DROOL BUCKETS WERE
1306
00:46:38,562 --> 00:46:40,207
IN MY DUTIES.
THE COLONEL'S DROOL BUCKETS WERE
NEVER CLEANER, AND I HAD LEARNED
1307
00:46:40,231 --> 00:46:41,708
THE COLONEL'S DROOL BUCKETS WERE
NEVER CLEANER, AND I HAD LEARNED
TO CONTROL HIS SPASMS WITH A
1308
00:46:41,732 --> 00:46:43,177
NEVER CLEANER, AND I HAD LEARNED
TO CONTROL HIS SPASMS WITH A
SINGLE BLOW FROM A MALLET I
1309
00:46:43,201 --> 00:46:45,746
TO CONTROL HIS SPASMS WITH A
SINGLE BLOW FROM A MALLET I
ALWAYS CARRIED AT MY SIDE, BUT
1310
00:46:45,770 --> 00:46:48,015
SINGLE BLOW FROM A MALLET I
ALWAYS CARRIED AT MY SIDE, BUT
SUCH HAPPINESS COULD NEVER
1311
00:46:48,039 --> 00:46:48,816
ALWAYS CARRIED AT MY SIDE, BUT
SUCH HAPPINESS COULD NEVER
LAST."
1312
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,151
SUCH HAPPINESS COULD NEVER
LAST."
THANK YOU.
1313
00:46:50,175 --> 00:46:52,352
LAST."
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, MILES, MY BOY.
1314
00:46:52,376 --> 00:46:54,421
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, MILES, MY BOY.
DISAGREEABLE AS YOUR JOB MAY BE,
1315
00:46:54,445 --> 00:46:56,190
THANK YOU, MILES, MY BOY.
DISAGREEABLE AS YOUR JOB MAY BE,
YOU PERFORM IT WITH A GOOD
1316
00:46:56,214 --> 00:46:56,791
DISAGREEABLE AS YOUR JOB MAY BE,
YOU PERFORM IT WITH A GOOD
HEART.
1317
00:46:56,815 --> 00:46:58,759
YOU PERFORM IT WITH A GOOD
HEART.
OH, BUT, SIR, I'VE GROWN TO
1318
00:46:58,783 --> 00:47:00,627
HEART.
OH, BUT, SIR, I'VE GROWN TO
LOVE HANDLING HUGE, SLOSHING
1319
00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:02,129
OH, BUT, SIR, I'VE GROWN TO
LOVE HANDLING HUGE, SLOSHING
PAILS OF YOUR VISCOUS,
1320
00:47:02,153 --> 00:47:04,364
LOVE HANDLING HUGE, SLOSHING
PAILS OF YOUR VISCOUS,
EVIL-SMELLING DROOL.
1321
00:47:04,388 --> 00:47:06,733
PAILS OF YOUR VISCOUS,
EVIL-SMELLING DROOL.
GOD BLESS YOU, MY BOY, BUT,
1322
00:47:06,757 --> 00:47:10,604
EVIL-SMELLING DROOL.
GOD BLESS YOU, MY BOY, BUT,
NO, YOU MUST LEARN A REAL TRADE.
1323
00:47:10,628 --> 00:47:12,739
GOD BLESS YOU, MY BOY, BUT,
NO, YOU MUST LEARN A REAL TRADE.
THE TIME HAS COME, MILES, FOR
1324
00:47:12,763 --> 00:47:14,408
NO, YOU MUST LEARN A REAL TRADE.
THE TIME HAS COME, MILES, FOR
YOU TO LEAVE US, AND,
1325
00:47:14,432 --> 00:47:16,743
THE TIME HAS COME, MILES, FOR
YOU TO LEAVE US, AND,
ACCORDINGLY, I HAVE ARRANGED FOR
1326
00:47:16,767 --> 00:47:19,947
YOU TO LEAVE US, AND,
ACCORDINGLY, I HAVE ARRANGED FOR
YOU TO MEET YOUR NEW MASTER.
1327
00:47:19,971 --> 00:47:22,582
ACCORDINGLY, I HAVE ARRANGED FOR
YOU TO MEET YOUR NEW MASTER.
CAPTAIN NED, WOULD YOU STEP
1328
00:47:22,606 --> 00:47:24,318
YOU TO MEET YOUR NEW MASTER.
CAPTAIN NED, WOULD YOU STEP
INSIDE, PLEASE?
1329
00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:27,521
CAPTAIN NED, WOULD YOU STEP
INSIDE, PLEASE?
CAPTAIN NED.
1330
00:47:27,545 --> 00:47:29,924
INSIDE, PLEASE?
CAPTAIN NED.
MILES, YOU MAY MEET YOUR NEW
1331
00:47:29,948 --> 00:47:32,293
CAPTAIN NED.
MILES, YOU MAY MEET YOUR NEW
MASTER, CAPTAIN NED, AND HIS
1332
00:47:32,317 --> 00:47:35,796
MILES, YOU MAY MEET YOUR NEW
MASTER, CAPTAIN NED, AND HIS
MATE, HODO.
1333
00:47:35,820 --> 00:47:37,464
MASTER, CAPTAIN NED, AND HIS
MATE, HODO.
AYE, HE'LL MAKE A FIND CABIN
1334
00:47:37,488 --> 00:47:37,998
MATE, HODO.
AYE, HE'LL MAKE A FIND CABIN
BOY.
1335
00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:40,000
AYE, HE'LL MAKE A FIND CABIN
BOY.
OH, PLEASE, LET'S TAKE HIM
1336
00:47:40,024 --> 00:47:40,767
BOY.
OH, PLEASE, LET'S TAKE HIM
WITH US.
1337
00:47:40,791 --> 00:47:42,937
OH, PLEASE, LET'S TAKE HIM
WITH US.
OF COURSE WE'LL TAKE HIM WITH
1338
00:47:42,961 --> 00:47:43,437
WITH US.
OF COURSE WE'LL TAKE HIM WITH
US.
1339
00:47:43,461 --> 00:47:45,605
OF COURSE WE'LL TAKE HIM WITH
US.
WE'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF HIM... A
1340
00:47:45,629 --> 00:47:47,607
US.
WE'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF HIM... A
MAN AMONG MEN, A MAN WHO WILL
1341
00:47:47,631 --> 00:47:49,810
WE'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF HIM... A
MAN AMONG MEN, A MAN WHO WILL
GROW AND UNDERSTAND AND NEED THE
1342
00:47:49,834 --> 00:47:51,345
MAN AMONG MEN, A MAN WHO WILL
GROW AND UNDERSTAND AND NEED THE
COMPANY OF OTHER MEN.
1343
00:47:51,369 --> 00:47:54,481
GROW AND UNDERSTAND AND NEED THE
COMPANY OF OTHER MEN.
HE'LL SEE A MAN'S WORLD THE WAY
1344
00:47:54,505 --> 00:47:57,517
COMPANY OF OTHER MEN.
HE'LL SEE A MAN'S WORLD THE WAY
MEN SEE IT, WITH THE EYES OF A
1345
00:47:57,541 --> 00:48:00,654
HE'LL SEE A MAN'S WORLD THE WAY
MEN SEE IT, WITH THE EYES OF A
MAN AND A MAN'S SHIP WITH OTHER
1346
00:48:00,678 --> 00:48:01,455
MEN SEE IT, WITH THE EYES OF A
MAN AND A MAN'S SHIP WITH OTHER
MEN.
1347
00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:03,557
MAN AND A MAN'S SHIP WITH OTHER
MEN.
MYKONOS, KEY WEST,
1348
00:48:03,581 --> 00:48:06,693
MEN.
MYKONOS, KEY WEST,
SAN FRANCISCO... HE'LL SEE IT
1349
00:48:06,717 --> 00:48:07,527
MYKONOS, KEY WEST,
SAN FRANCISCO... HE'LL SEE IT
ALL.
1350
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:10,297
SAN FRANCISCO... HE'LL SEE IT
ALL.
MAN'S PORTS... EVERY ONE!
1351
00:48:10,321 --> 00:48:11,765
ALL.
MAN'S PORTS... EVERY ONE!
[LAUGHS]
1352
00:48:11,789 --> 00:48:13,934
MAN'S PORTS... EVERY ONE!
[LAUGHS]
CAPTAIN NED, I AM SURE YOU'LL
1353
00:48:13,958 --> 00:48:15,669
[LAUGHS]
CAPTAIN NED, I AM SURE YOU'LL
FIND YOUNG MILES TO BE A
1354
00:48:15,693 --> 00:48:17,404
CAPTAIN NED, I AM SURE YOU'LL
FIND YOUNG MILES TO BE A
HARDWORKING AND DEDICATED
1355
00:48:17,428 --> 00:48:18,305
FIND YOUNG MILES TO BE A
HARDWORKING AND DEDICATED
COMPANION.
1356
00:48:18,329 --> 00:48:20,241
HARDWORKING AND DEDICATED
COMPANION.
YOU KNOW, HE'S ALMOST TOO
1357
00:48:20,265 --> 00:48:21,308
COMPANION.
YOU KNOW, HE'S ALMOST TOO
GOOD-LOOKING.
1358
00:48:21,332 --> 00:48:22,442
YOU KNOW, HE'S ALMOST TOO
GOOD-LOOKING.
YES, HE IS.
1359
00:48:22,466 --> 00:48:24,644
GOOD-LOOKING.
YES, HE IS.
OH, WELL, MILES, WE SHALL ALL
1360
00:48:24,668 --> 00:48:25,479
YES, HE IS.
OH, WELL, MILES, WE SHALL ALL
MISS YOU.
1361
00:48:25,503 --> 00:48:27,081
OH, WELL, MILES, WE SHALL ALL
MISS YOU.
WE SHALL ALL MISS YOU.
1362
00:48:27,105 --> 00:48:29,250
MISS YOU.
WE SHALL ALL MISS YOU.
YES, MILES, YOU'VE BEEN SO KIND
1363
00:48:29,274 --> 00:48:30,851
WE SHALL ALL MISS YOU.
YES, MILES, YOU'VE BEEN SO KIND
TO ME AND LITTLE KATE.
1364
00:48:30,875 --> 00:48:32,519
YES, MILES, YOU'VE BEEN SO KIND
TO ME AND LITTLE KATE.
WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.
1365
00:48:32,543 --> 00:48:34,554
TO ME AND LITTLE KATE.
WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.
I'LL MISS ALL OF YOU, AND,
1366
00:48:34,578 --> 00:48:37,224
WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.
I'LL MISS ALL OF YOU, AND,
LITTLE MISS KATE, I'LL COME BACK
1367
00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:37,858
I'LL MISS ALL OF YOU, AND,
LITTLE MISS KATE, I'LL COME BACK
FOR YOU.
1368
00:48:37,882 --> 00:48:39,559
LITTLE MISS KATE, I'LL COME BACK
FOR YOU.
YEAH, IT'S A FINE THOUGHT,
1369
00:48:39,583 --> 00:48:41,428
FOR YOU.
YEAH, IT'S A FINE THOUGHT,
LAD, BUT I'M SURE SHE'LL BE DEAD
1370
00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:42,062
YEAH, IT'S A FINE THOUGHT,
LAD, BUT I'M SURE SHE'LL BE DEAD
BY THEN.
1371
00:48:42,086 --> 00:48:43,964
LAD, BUT I'M SURE SHE'LL BE DEAD
BY THEN.
OH, MY, YES, STONE DEAD.
1372
00:48:43,988 --> 00:48:45,099
BY THEN.
OH, MY, YES, STONE DEAD.
GOD BLESS US.
1373
00:48:45,123 --> 00:48:47,301
OH, MY, YES, STONE DEAD.
GOD BLESS US.
OH, YES, DEAD AS A DOORNAIL,
1374
00:48:47,325 --> 00:48:50,938
GOD BLESS US.
OH, YES, DEAD AS A DOORNAIL,
BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
1375
00:48:50,962 --> 00:48:53,140
OH, YES, DEAD AS A DOORNAIL,
BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
OH, DEAR, I'M SO OVERCOME.
1376
00:48:53,164 --> 00:49:01,164
BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
OH, DEAR, I'M SO OVERCOME.
OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH!
1377
00:49:01,272 --> 00:49:02,716
OH, DEAR, I'M SO OVERCOME.
OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH!
THANK YOU, ONE AND ALL.
1378
00:49:02,740 --> 00:49:03,517
OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH!
THANK YOU, ONE AND ALL.
THANK YOU.
1379
00:49:03,541 --> 00:49:05,419
THANK YOU, ONE AND ALL.
THANK YOU.
"AND SO, AFTER YEARS OF
1380
00:49:05,443 --> 00:49:07,654
THANK YOU.
"AND SO, AFTER YEARS OF
PAINFUL EXPERIENCE OF THE WORLD,
1381
00:49:07,678 --> 00:49:09,756
"AND SO, AFTER YEARS OF
PAINFUL EXPERIENCE OF THE WORLD,
I FOUND HAPPINESS FOR A TIME,
1382
00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:11,025
PAINFUL EXPERIENCE OF THE WORLD,
I FOUND HAPPINESS FOR A TIME,
ONLY TO LOSE IT.
1383
00:49:11,049 --> 00:49:13,160
I FOUND HAPPINESS FOR A TIME,
ONLY TO LOSE IT.
OF MY TRAVELS WITH CAPTAIN NED
1384
00:49:13,184 --> 00:49:14,395
ONLY TO LOSE IT.
OF MY TRAVELS WITH CAPTAIN NED
AND HODO ABOARD
1385
00:49:14,419 --> 00:49:16,397
OF MY TRAVELS WITH CAPTAIN NED
AND HODO ABOARD
THE RAGING QUEEN, THE READER
1386
00:49:16,421 --> 00:49:18,598
AND HODO ABOARD
THE RAGING QUEEN, THE READER
SHALL LEARN IN MY NEXT CHAPTER,
1387
00:49:18,622 --> 00:49:22,062
THE RAGING QUEEN, THE READER
SHALL LEARN IN MY NEXT CHAPTER,
'I AM NAILED TO THE HULL.'"
1388
00:49:29,532 --> 00:49:35,849
Announcer: ONCE AGAIN,
THE DOOBIE BROTHERS.
[APPLAUSE]
1389
00:49:35,873 --> 00:49:38,052
THE DOOBIE BROTHERS.
[APPLAUSE]
["TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS"
1390
00:49:38,076 --> 00:49:39,842
[APPLAUSE]
["TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS"
PLAYS]
1391
00:49:49,486 --> 00:49:57,486
♪ YOU DON'T KNOW ME,
BUT I'M YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ I WAS RAISED HERE IN THIS
1392
00:49:58,262 --> 00:50:02,109
BUT I'M YOUR BROTHER ♪
♪ I WAS RAISED HERE IN THIS
LIVING HELL ♪
1393
00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:04,878
♪ I WAS RAISED HERE IN THIS
LIVING HELL ♪
♪ YOU DON'T KNOW MY KIND IN
1394
00:50:04,902 --> 00:50:08,415
LIVING HELL ♪
♪ YOU DON'T KNOW MY KIND IN
YOUR WORLD ♪
1395
00:50:08,439 --> 00:50:14,088
♪ YOU DON'T KNOW MY KIND IN
YOUR WORLD ♪
♪ FAIRLY SOON TIME WILL TELL ♪
1396
00:50:14,112 --> 00:50:17,157
YOUR WORLD ♪
♪ FAIRLY SOON TIME WILL TELL ♪
♪ YOU ♪
1397
00:50:17,181 --> 00:50:19,159
♪ FAIRLY SOON TIME WILL TELL ♪
♪ YOU ♪
♪ TELLING ME THE THINGS
1398
00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:21,661
♪ YOU ♪
♪ TELLING ME THE THINGS
YOU'RE GONNA DO FOR ME ♪
1399
00:50:21,685 --> 00:50:24,831
♪ TELLING ME THE THINGS
YOU'RE GONNA DO FOR ME ♪
♪ NO, I AIN'T BLIND ♪
1400
00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:26,367
YOU'RE GONNA DO FOR ME ♪
♪ NO, I AIN'T BLIND ♪
♪ I DON'T LIKE WHAT I THINK
1401
00:50:26,391 --> 00:50:26,933
♪ NO, I AIN'T BLIND ♪
♪ I DON'T LIKE WHAT I THINK
I SEE ♪
1402
00:50:26,957 --> 00:50:28,435
♪ I DON'T LIKE WHAT I THINK
I SEE ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
1403
00:50:28,459 --> 00:50:29,636
I SEE ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ WE'RE TAKIN' IT TO
1404
00:50:29,660 --> 00:50:30,204
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ WE'RE TAKIN' IT TO
THE STREETS ♪
1405
00:50:30,228 --> 00:50:32,606
♪ WE'RE TAKIN' IT TO
THE STREETS ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
1406
00:50:32,630 --> 00:50:35,509
THE STREETS ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR RUNNING ♪
1407
00:50:35,533 --> 00:50:40,481
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR RUNNING ♪
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR HIDING ♪
1408
00:50:40,505 --> 00:50:42,616
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR RUNNING ♪
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR HIDING ♪
♪ TAKE THIS MESSAGE TO
1409
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:46,653
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR HIDING ♪
♪ TAKE THIS MESSAGE TO
MY BROTHER ♪
1410
00:50:46,677 --> 00:50:52,893
♪ TAKE THIS MESSAGE TO
MY BROTHER ♪
♪ YOU WILL FIND HIM EVERYWHERE ♪
1411
00:50:52,917 --> 00:50:55,195
MY BROTHER ♪
♪ YOU WILL FIND HIM EVERYWHERE ♪
♪ WHEREVER PEOPLE LIVE
1412
00:50:55,219 --> 00:50:59,599
♪ YOU WILL FIND HIM EVERYWHERE ♪
♪ WHEREVER PEOPLE LIVE
TOGETHER ♪
1413
00:50:59,623 --> 00:51:04,505
♪ WHEREVER PEOPLE LIVE
TOGETHER ♪
♪ TIED IN POVERTY'S DESPAIR ♪
1414
00:51:04,529 --> 00:51:08,175
TOGETHER ♪
♪ TIED IN POVERTY'S DESPAIR ♪
♪ OH, YOU ♪
1415
00:51:08,199 --> 00:51:10,144
♪ TIED IN POVERTY'S DESPAIR ♪
♪ OH, YOU ♪
♪ TELLING ME THE THINGS
1416
00:51:10,168 --> 00:51:12,879
♪ OH, YOU ♪
♪ TELLING ME THE THINGS
YOU'RE GONNA DO FOR ME ♪
1417
00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:14,581
♪ TELLING ME THE THINGS
YOU'RE GONNA DO FOR ME ♪
♪ NO, NOW ♪
1418
00:51:14,605 --> 00:51:15,749
YOU'RE GONNA DO FOR ME ♪
♪ NO, NOW ♪
♪ I AIN'T BLIND ♪
1419
00:51:15,773 --> 00:51:17,351
♪ NO, NOW ♪
♪ I AIN'T BLIND ♪
♪ I DON'T LIKE WHAT I THINK
1420
00:51:17,375 --> 00:51:17,918
♪ I AIN'T BLIND ♪
♪ I DON'T LIKE WHAT I THINK
I SEE ♪
1421
00:51:17,942 --> 00:51:19,386
♪ I DON'T LIKE WHAT I THINK
I SEE ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
1422
00:51:19,410 --> 00:51:20,720
I SEE ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ WE'RE TAKIN' IT TO
1423
00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:24,124
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ WE'RE TAKIN' IT TO
THE STREETS ♪
1424
00:51:24,148 --> 00:51:26,760
♪ WE'RE TAKIN' IT TO
THE STREETS ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
1425
00:51:26,784 --> 00:51:29,863
THE STREETS ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR HIDING ♪
1426
00:51:29,887 --> 00:51:30,697
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR HIDING ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
1427
00:51:30,721 --> 00:51:33,167
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR HIDING ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
1428
00:51:33,191 --> 00:51:33,767
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ NO, NOW ♪
1429
00:51:33,791 --> 00:51:36,170
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ NO, NOW ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
1430
00:51:36,194 --> 00:51:37,171
♪ NO, NOW ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
1431
00:51:37,195 --> 00:51:39,005
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
1432
00:51:39,029 --> 00:51:40,441
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT, TAKIN' IT ♪
1433
00:51:40,465 --> 00:51:41,608
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT, TAKIN' IT ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE... ♪
1434
00:51:41,632 --> 00:51:44,632
♪ TAKIN' IT, TAKIN' IT ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE... ♪
[ELECTRIC-GUITAR SOLO]
1435
00:52:07,557 --> 00:52:12,973
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ WE'RE TAKIN' IT TO
THE STREETS ♪
1436
00:52:12,997 --> 00:52:16,110
♪ WE'RE TAKIN' IT TO
THE STREETS ♪
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR RUNNING ♪
1437
00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:19,113
THE STREETS ♪
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR RUNNING ♪
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR HIDING ♪
1438
00:52:19,137 --> 00:52:20,147
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR RUNNING ♪
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR HIDING ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
1439
00:52:20,171 --> 00:52:21,982
♪ NO MORE NEED FOR HIDING ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
1440
00:52:22,006 --> 00:52:23,183
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT, TAKIN' IT ♪
1441
00:52:23,207 --> 00:52:25,319
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT, TAKIN' IT ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
1442
00:52:25,343 --> 00:52:26,453
♪ TAKIN' IT, TAKIN' IT ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ TAKIN' MY BROTHER ♪
1443
00:52:26,477 --> 00:52:28,288
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ TAKIN' MY BROTHER ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
1444
00:52:28,312 --> 00:52:29,856
♪ TAKIN' MY BROTHER ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
1445
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,325
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE...
1446
00:52:31,349 --> 00:52:32,292
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE...
WHOO ♪
1447
00:52:32,316 --> 00:52:35,496
♪ TAKIN' IT TO THE...
WHOO ♪
♪ WHOO OOH-OOH-OOH-HOO ♪
1448
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:37,097
WHOO ♪
♪ WHOO OOH-OOH-OOH-HOO ♪
YEAH!
1449
00:52:37,121 --> 00:52:40,055
♪ WHOO OOH-OOH-OOH-HOO ♪
YEAH!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1450
00:52:54,304 --> 00:52:55,604
THANK YOU.
1451
00:53:03,146 --> 00:53:07,861
HELLO, AND WELCOME TO
"NAME THE BATS," WHERE
EVERYBODY'S ON A FIRST-NAME
1452
00:53:07,885 --> 00:53:09,429
"NAME THE BATS," WHERE
EVERYBODY'S ON A FIRST-NAME
BASIS... NO LAST NAMES.
1453
00:53:09,453 --> 00:53:11,365
EVERYBODY'S ON A FIRST-NAME
BASIS... NO LAST NAMES.
AND HELLO TO OUR CONTESTANTS.
1454
00:53:11,389 --> 00:53:12,232
BASIS... NO LAST NAMES.
AND HELLO TO OUR CONTESTANTS.
H-HELLO.
1455
00:53:12,256 --> 00:53:13,333
AND HELLO TO OUR CONTESTANTS.
H-HELLO.
HOW ARE YOU?
1456
00:53:13,357 --> 00:53:14,868
H-HELLO.
HOW ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?
1457
00:53:14,892 --> 00:53:18,205
HOW ARE YOU?
WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?
NO LAST NAMES, PLEASE.
1458
00:53:18,229 --> 00:53:21,041
WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?
NO LAST NAMES, PLEASE.
MY NAME IS JOAN.
1459
00:53:21,065 --> 00:53:22,209
NO LAST NAMES, PLEASE.
MY NAME IS JOAN.
I'M STEVE.
1460
00:53:22,233 --> 00:53:23,109
MY NAME IS JOAN.
I'M STEVE.
GREAT.
1461
00:53:23,133 --> 00:53:27,847
I'M STEVE.
GREAT.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
1462
00:53:27,871 --> 00:53:29,015
GREAT.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
YOU'RE THE HOST.
1463
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:30,050
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
YOU'RE THE HOST.
CLOSE ENOUGH.
1464
00:53:30,074 --> 00:53:30,850
YOU'RE THE HOST.
CLOSE ENOUGH.
IT'S JERRY.
1465
00:53:30,874 --> 00:53:32,586
CLOSE ENOUGH.
IT'S JERRY.
THIS IS "NAME THE BATS," THE
1466
00:53:32,610 --> 00:53:34,154
IT'S JERRY.
THIS IS "NAME THE BATS," THE
SHOW WHERE EVERYBODY LEAVES
1467
00:53:34,178 --> 00:53:35,922
THIS IS "NAME THE BATS," THE
SHOW WHERE EVERYBODY LEAVES
THEIR LAST NAMES IN THEIR OTHER
1468
00:53:35,946 --> 00:53:36,456
SHOW WHERE EVERYBODY LEAVES
THEIR LAST NAMES IN THEIR OTHER
PANTS.
1469
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,124
THEIR LAST NAMES IN THEIR OTHER
PANTS.
NOW... HA HA HA... ARE YOU READY
1470
00:53:38,148 --> 00:53:38,725
PANTS.
NOW... HA HA HA... ARE YOU READY
TO PLAY?
1471
00:53:38,749 --> 00:53:39,259
NOW... HA HA HA... ARE YOU READY
TO PLAY?
ARE WE?
1472
00:53:39,283 --> 00:53:39,693
TO PLAY?
ARE WE?
OKAY.
1473
00:53:39,717 --> 00:53:40,394
ARE WE?
OKAY.
YES. WE ARE.
1474
00:53:40,418 --> 00:53:41,094
OKAY.
YES. WE ARE.
WE SURE ARE.
1475
00:53:41,118 --> 00:53:42,396
YES. WE ARE.
WE SURE ARE.
NOW YOU BOTH GO INTO THE BARN
1476
00:53:42,420 --> 00:53:44,030
WE SURE ARE.
NOW YOU BOTH GO INTO THE BARN
HERE AND START NAMING ALL THE
1477
00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:45,399
NOW YOU BOTH GO INTO THE BARN
HERE AND START NAMING ALL THE
BATS THAT ARE IN THERE.
1478
00:53:45,423 --> 00:53:47,100
HERE AND START NAMING ALL THE
BATS THAT ARE IN THERE.
YOU GET $180 FOR EVERY BAT YOU
1479
00:53:47,124 --> 00:53:47,767
BATS THAT ARE IN THERE.
YOU GET $180 FOR EVERY BAT YOU
CAN NAME.
1480
00:53:47,791 --> 00:53:48,535
YOU GET $180 FOR EVERY BAT YOU
CAN NAME.
ALL RIGHT.
1481
00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:49,436
CAN NAME.
ALL RIGHT.
ARE YOU READY?
1482
00:53:49,460 --> 00:53:50,270
ALL RIGHT.
ARE YOU READY?
YES. WE ARE.
1483
00:53:50,294 --> 00:53:51,205
ARE YOU READY?
YES. WE ARE.
WE CERTAINLY ARE.
1484
00:53:51,229 --> 00:53:52,372
YES. WE ARE.
WE CERTAINLY ARE.
OKAY.
1485
00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:53,740
WE CERTAINLY ARE.
OKAY.
IN YOU GO.
1486
00:53:53,764 --> 00:53:58,579
OKAY.
IN YOU GO.
AND START NAMING THE BATS!
1487
00:53:58,603 --> 00:54:00,947
IN YOU GO.
AND START NAMING THE BATS!
THERE ARE NO BATS IN HERE.
1488
00:54:00,971 --> 00:54:05,018
AND START NAMING THE BATS!
THERE ARE NO BATS IN HERE.
I CAN'T SEE ANY BATS.
1489
00:54:05,042 --> 00:54:06,052
THERE ARE NO BATS IN HERE.
I CAN'T SEE ANY BATS.
AAAAAH!
1490
00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:08,322
I CAN'T SEE ANY BATS.
AAAAAH!
[BATS SCREECHING]
1491
00:54:08,346 --> 00:54:10,190
AAAAAH!
[BATS SCREECHING]
CAN YOU SEE THEM NOW?!
1492
00:54:10,214 --> 00:54:10,924
[BATS SCREECHING]
CAN YOU SEE THEM NOW?!
YEAH, YEAH!
1493
00:54:10,948 --> 00:54:11,925
CAN YOU SEE THEM NOW?!
YEAH, YEAH!
WE CAN SEE THEM!
1494
00:54:11,949 --> 00:54:12,559
YEAH, YEAH!
WE CAN SEE THEM!
GOOD GOD!
1495
00:54:12,583 --> 00:54:14,294
WE CAN SEE THEM!
GOOD GOD!
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY!
1496
00:54:14,318 --> 00:54:15,061
GOOD GOD!
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY!
AAAAH!
1497
00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:16,630
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY!
AAAAH!
THE TIME IS RUNNING!
1498
00:54:16,654 --> 00:54:18,131
AAAAH!
THE TIME IS RUNNING!
START NAMING THE BATS!
1499
00:54:18,155 --> 00:54:18,765
THE TIME IS RUNNING!
START NAMING THE BATS!
OH, NO!
1500
00:54:18,789 --> 00:54:20,033
START NAMING THE BATS!
OH, NO!
HOLD STILL! HOLD STILL!
1501
00:54:20,057 --> 00:54:21,000
OH, NO!
HOLD STILL! HOLD STILL!
IT'S IN MY HAIR!
1502
00:54:21,024 --> 00:54:22,135
HOLD STILL! HOLD STILL!
IT'S IN MY HAIR!
GET IT OUT OF MY HAIR!
1503
00:54:22,159 --> 00:54:23,103
IT'S IN MY HAIR!
GET IT OUT OF MY HAIR!
JUST HOLD STILL!
1504
00:54:23,127 --> 00:54:24,638
GET IT OUT OF MY HAIR!
JUST HOLD STILL!
I GOT TO SEE WHAT KIND OF BAT IT
1505
00:54:24,662 --> 00:54:24,971
JUST HOLD STILL!
I GOT TO SEE WHAT KIND OF BAT IT
IS!
1506
00:54:24,995 --> 00:54:26,240
I GOT TO SEE WHAT KIND OF BAT IT
IS!
COME ON, YOU TWO!
1507
00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:26,906
IS!
COME ON, YOU TWO!
COME ON!
1508
00:54:26,930 --> 00:54:28,275
COME ON, YOU TWO!
COME ON!
START NAMING THE BATS!
1509
00:54:28,299 --> 00:54:33,413
COME ON!
START NAMING THE BATS!
GET IT OUT OF MY HAIR!
1510
00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:35,115
START NAMING THE BATS!
GET IT OUT OF MY HAIR!
IT'S A FRUIT BAT!
1511
00:54:35,139 --> 00:54:36,916
GET IT OUT OF MY HAIR!
IT'S A FRUIT BAT!
PUT US DOWN FOR A FRUIT BAT!
1512
00:54:36,940 --> 00:54:37,917
IT'S A FRUIT BAT!
PUT US DOWN FOR A FRUIT BAT!
OH, MY GOD!
1513
00:54:37,941 --> 00:54:39,319
PUT US DOWN FOR A FRUIT BAT!
OH, MY GOD!
THERE'S A VAMPIRE BAT!
1514
00:54:39,343 --> 00:54:40,754
OH, MY GOD!
THERE'S A VAMPIRE BAT!
NO, THERE YOU GO!
1515
00:54:40,778 --> 00:54:42,422
THERE'S A VAMPIRE BAT!
NO, THERE YOU GO!
NO, YOU'RE PLAYING THE GAME
1516
00:54:42,446 --> 00:54:44,190
NO, THERE YOU GO!
NO, YOU'RE PLAYING THE GAME
WRONG!
1517
00:54:44,214 --> 00:54:45,759
NO, YOU'RE PLAYING THE GAME
WRONG!
WHERE THE HELL DID IT GO?!
1518
00:54:45,783 --> 00:54:47,361
WRONG!
WHERE THE HELL DID IT GO?!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE PLAYING
1519
00:54:47,385 --> 00:54:48,061
WHERE THE HELL DID IT GO?!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE PLAYING
IT WRONG?!
1520
00:54:48,085 --> 00:54:48,762
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE PLAYING
IT WRONG?!
WATCH OUT!
1521
00:54:48,786 --> 00:54:49,129
IT WRONG?!
WATCH OUT!
OW!
1522
00:54:49,153 --> 00:54:50,364
WATCH OUT!
OW!
AAAAAAH!
1523
00:54:50,388 --> 00:54:51,931
OW!
AAAAAAH!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO NAME THE
1524
00:54:51,955 --> 00:54:52,366
AAAAAAH!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO NAME THE
BATS!
1525
00:54:52,390 --> 00:54:53,967
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO NAME THE
BATS!
DON'T TELL US WHAT KIND OF BATS
1526
00:54:53,991 --> 00:54:54,601
BATS!
DON'T TELL US WHAT KIND OF BATS
THEY ARE!
1527
00:54:54,625 --> 00:54:56,169
DON'T TELL US WHAT KIND OF BATS
THEY ARE!
WE KNOW WHAT KIND OF BATS THEY
1528
00:54:56,193 --> 00:54:56,570
THEY ARE!
WE KNOW WHAT KIND OF BATS THEY
ARE!
1529
00:54:56,594 --> 00:54:58,037
WE KNOW WHAT KIND OF BATS THEY
ARE!
WHO DO YOU THINK PUT THEM IN
1530
00:54:58,061 --> 00:54:59,573
ARE!
WHO DO YOU THINK PUT THEM IN
THERE?!
1531
00:54:59,597 --> 00:55:00,206
WHO DO YOU THINK PUT THEM IN
THERE?!
COME ON!
1532
00:55:00,230 --> 00:55:01,875
THERE?!
COME ON!
JUST START GIVING THEM NAMES!
1533
00:55:01,899 --> 00:55:03,543
COME ON!
JUST START GIVING THEM NAMES!
LET US OUT OF HERE!
1534
00:55:03,567 --> 00:55:05,512
JUST START GIVING THEM NAMES!
LET US OUT OF HERE!
YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO GIVE
1535
00:55:05,536 --> 00:55:06,946
LET US OUT OF HERE!
YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO GIVE
THESE BATS NAMES?!
1536
00:55:06,970 --> 00:55:07,881
YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO GIVE
THESE BATS NAMES?!
WATCH OUT!
1537
00:55:07,905 --> 00:55:09,215
THESE BATS NAMES?!
WATCH OUT!
COME ON, COME ON!
1538
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:10,984
WATCH OUT!
COME ON, COME ON!
REGULAR NAMES... NOTHING TOO
1539
00:55:11,008 --> 00:55:11,585
COME ON, COME ON!
REGULAR NAMES... NOTHING TOO
FANCY!
1540
00:55:11,609 --> 00:55:12,753
REGULAR NAMES... NOTHING TOO
FANCY!
NAMES THAT PEOPLE KNOW!
1541
00:55:12,777 --> 00:55:13,720
FANCY!
NAMES THAT PEOPLE KNOW!
WE WON'T DO IT!
1542
00:55:13,744 --> 00:55:16,390
NAMES THAT PEOPLE KNOW!
WE WON'T DO IT!
OPEN THE DOOR!
1543
00:55:16,414 --> 00:55:17,357
WE WON'T DO IT!
OPEN THE DOOR!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
1544
00:55:17,381 --> 00:55:22,462
OPEN THE DOOR!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
1545
00:55:22,486 --> 00:55:27,467
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
1546
00:55:27,491 --> 00:55:29,451
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
[PANTING]
1547
00:55:33,663 --> 00:55:37,678
WELL, YOU SURE MADE A MESS OF
OUR CUBICLE.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
1548
00:55:37,702 --> 00:55:39,245
OUR CUBICLE.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
TOO BAD, TOO BAD... YOU DIDN'T
1549
00:55:39,269 --> 00:55:40,280
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
TOO BAD, TOO BAD... YOU DIDN'T
WIN THE BIG MONEY.
1550
00:55:40,304 --> 00:55:41,815
TOO BAD, TOO BAD... YOU DIDN'T
WIN THE BIG MONEY.
YOU HAD SOME TROUBLE WITH THE
1551
00:55:41,839 --> 00:55:42,316
WIN THE BIG MONEY.
YOU HAD SOME TROUBLE WITH THE
RULES.
1552
00:55:42,340 --> 00:55:43,116
YOU HAD SOME TROUBLE WITH THE
RULES.
IT'S A SHAME.
1553
00:55:43,140 --> 00:55:44,751
RULES.
IT'S A SHAME.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL GAME WHEN IT'S
1554
00:55:44,775 --> 00:55:46,353
IT'S A SHAME.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL GAME WHEN IT'S
PLAYED WELL.
1555
00:55:46,377 --> 00:55:48,322
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL GAME WHEN IT'S
PLAYED WELL.
BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA LET YOU GO
1556
00:55:48,346 --> 00:55:49,589
PLAYED WELL.
BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA LET YOU GO
HOME EMPTY-HANDED.
1557
00:55:49,613 --> 00:55:51,625
BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA LET YOU GO
HOME EMPTY-HANDED.
NATURALLY ENOUGH, WE DON'T HAVE
1558
00:55:51,649 --> 00:55:52,859
HOME EMPTY-HANDED.
NATURALLY ENOUGH, WE DON'T HAVE
A HOME VERSION OF
1559
00:55:52,883 --> 00:55:55,862
NATURALLY ENOUGH, WE DON'T HAVE
A HOME VERSION OF
"NAME THE BATS," BUT WE CAN GIVE
1560
00:55:55,886 --> 00:55:57,364
A HOME VERSION OF
"NAME THE BATS," BUT WE CAN GIVE
YOU...
1561
00:55:57,388 --> 00:55:59,466
"NAME THE BATS," BUT WE CAN GIVE
YOU...
TWO MORE MINUTES WITH THE BATS!
1562
00:55:59,490 --> 00:56:00,534
YOU...
TWO MORE MINUTES WITH THE BATS!
GET IN THERE!
1563
00:56:00,558 --> 00:56:01,401
TWO MORE MINUTES WITH THE BATS!
GET IN THERE!
IN YOU GO!
1564
00:56:01,425 --> 00:56:06,206
GET IN THERE!
IN YOU GO!
COME ON!
1565
00:56:06,230 --> 00:56:06,773
IN YOU GO!
COME ON!
GO!
1566
00:56:06,797 --> 00:56:08,731
COME ON!
GO!
COME ON, NAME THEM!
1567
00:56:21,745 --> 00:56:25,492
Announcer: IT'S TIME FOR
"THE FRANKEN AND DAVIS SHOW,"
STARRING AL FRANKEN AND
1568
00:56:25,516 --> 00:56:26,560
"THE FRANKEN AND DAVIS SHOW,"
STARRING AL FRANKEN AND
TOM DAVIS.
1569
00:56:26,584 --> 00:56:29,229
STARRING AL FRANKEN AND
TOM DAVIS.
AND NOW HERE'S AL AND TOM.
1570
00:56:29,253 --> 00:56:31,534
TOM DAVIS.
AND NOW HERE'S AL AND TOM.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1571
00:56:36,659 --> 00:56:40,507
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, AND WELCOME TO THE
1572
00:56:40,531 --> 00:56:40,940
GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, AND WELCOME TO THE
SHOW.
1573
00:56:40,964 --> 00:56:42,376
GENTLEMEN, AND WELCOME TO THE
SHOW.
NOW, THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE
1574
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:43,176
SHOW.
NOW, THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE
FAMILIAR WITH
1575
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:44,611
NOW, THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE
FAMILIAR WITH
"THE FRANKEN AND DAVIS SHOW"
1576
00:56:44,635 --> 00:56:46,012
FAMILIAR WITH
"THE FRANKEN AND DAVIS SHOW"
KNOW THAT BOTH AL AND I ARE
1577
00:56:46,036 --> 00:56:47,347
"THE FRANKEN AND DAVIS SHOW"
KNOW THAT BOTH AL AND I ARE
INTERNATIONAL COMMUNIST
1578
00:56:47,371 --> 00:56:48,348
KNOW THAT BOTH AL AND I ARE
INTERNATIONAL COMMUNIST
REVOLUTIONARIES.
1579
00:56:48,372 --> 00:56:49,215
INTERNATIONAL COMMUNIST
REVOLUTIONARIES.
THANK YOU.
1580
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:50,417
REVOLUTIONARIES.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1581
00:56:50,441 --> 00:56:52,719
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
1582
00:56:52,743 --> 00:56:54,254
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
1583
00:56:54,278 --> 00:56:56,189
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
AND OUR SPECIAL GUEST STARS
1584
00:56:56,213 --> 00:56:58,324
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
AND OUR SPECIAL GUEST STARS
TONIGHT... AND THIS IS QUITE A
1585
00:56:58,348 --> 00:57:00,026
AND OUR SPECIAL GUEST STARS
TONIGHT... AND THIS IS QUITE A
THRILL... ARE TWO GIANT
1586
00:57:00,050 --> 00:57:00,994
TONIGHT... AND THIS IS QUITE A
THRILL... ARE TWO GIANT
SUPERSTARS.
1587
00:57:01,018 --> 00:57:02,629
THRILL... ARE TWO GIANT
SUPERSTARS.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
1588
00:57:02,653 --> 00:57:04,765
SUPERSTARS.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME LARAINE NEWMAN AND
1589
00:57:04,789 --> 00:57:05,832
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME LARAINE NEWMAN AND
GILDA RADNER.
1590
00:57:05,856 --> 00:57:06,400
WELCOME LARAINE NEWMAN AND
GILDA RADNER.
YEAH!
1591
00:57:06,424 --> 00:57:06,966
GILDA RADNER.
YEAH!
YEAH!
1592
00:57:06,990 --> 00:57:08,334
YEAH!
YEAH!
COME ON! YEAH!
1593
00:57:08,358 --> 00:57:10,604
YEAH!
COME ON! YEAH!
COME ON OUT HERE, GIRLS.
1594
00:57:10,628 --> 00:57:11,237
COME ON! YEAH!
COME ON OUT HERE, GIRLS.
HI.
1595
00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:13,172
COME ON OUT HERE, GIRLS.
HI.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
1596
00:57:13,196 --> 00:57:14,741
HI.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
THANKS, TOM.
1597
00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:17,010
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
THANKS, TOM.
THANKS FOR COMING ON, GIRLS.
1598
00:57:17,034 --> 00:57:19,078
THANKS, TOM.
THANKS FOR COMING ON, GIRLS.
THANK YOU, GUYS.
1599
00:57:19,102 --> 00:57:20,480
THANKS FOR COMING ON, GIRLS.
THANK YOU, GUYS.
YOU KNOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
1600
00:57:20,504 --> 00:57:21,915
THANK YOU, GUYS.
YOU KNOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WHEN LARAINE AND I WERE ASKED TO
1601
00:57:21,939 --> 00:57:23,417
YOU KNOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WHEN LARAINE AND I WERE ASKED TO
DO THE SHOW, WE JUMPED AT THE
1602
00:57:23,441 --> 00:57:25,051
WHEN LARAINE AND I WERE ASKED TO
DO THE SHOW, WE JUMPED AT THE
CHANCE BECAUSE, LIKE TOM AND AL,
1603
00:57:25,075 --> 00:57:26,653
DO THE SHOW, WE JUMPED AT THE
CHANCE BECAUSE, LIKE TOM AND AL,
LARAINE AND I ARE WORKING TOWARD
1604
00:57:26,677 --> 00:57:28,154
CHANCE BECAUSE, LIKE TOM AND AL,
LARAINE AND I ARE WORKING TOWARD
THE DAY WHEN THE ENTIRE WORLD
1605
00:57:28,178 --> 00:57:29,823
LARAINE AND I ARE WORKING TOWARD
THE DAY WHEN THE ENTIRE WORLD
WILL BE RULED BY ONE MARXIST
1606
00:57:29,847 --> 00:57:30,624
THE DAY WHEN THE ENTIRE WORLD
WILL BE RULED BY ONE MARXIST
GOVERNMENT.
1607
00:57:30,648 --> 00:57:34,127
WILL BE RULED BY ONE MARXIST
GOVERNMENT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1608
00:57:34,151 --> 00:57:35,762
GOVERNMENT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S RIGHT.
1609
00:57:35,786 --> 00:57:37,864
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND I THINK WE ALL AGREE THAT IN
1610
00:57:37,888 --> 00:57:39,533
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND I THINK WE ALL AGREE THAT IN
ORDER FOR THE PROLETARIAT
1611
00:57:39,557 --> 00:57:41,401
AND I THINK WE ALL AGREE THAT IN
ORDER FOR THE PROLETARIAT
REVOLUTION TO SUCCEED, WE'LL
1612
00:57:41,425 --> 00:57:43,269
ORDER FOR THE PROLETARIAT
REVOLUTION TO SUCCEED, WE'LL
HAVE TO ALL PITCH IN TO MAKE
1613
00:57:43,293 --> 00:57:44,103
REVOLUTION TO SUCCEED, WE'LL
HAVE TO ALL PITCH IN TO MAKE
THINGS WORSE.
1614
00:57:44,127 --> 00:57:44,704
HAVE TO ALL PITCH IN TO MAKE
THINGS WORSE.
YEAH.
1615
00:57:44,728 --> 00:57:45,505
THINGS WORSE.
YEAH.
WELL SAID.
1616
00:57:45,529 --> 00:57:46,339
YEAH.
WELL SAID.
ALL RIGHT.
1617
00:57:46,363 --> 00:57:48,809
WELL SAID.
ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
1618
00:57:48,833 --> 00:57:50,209
ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
THAT'S WONDERFUL, LARAINE.
1619
00:57:50,233 --> 00:57:51,711
THANK YOU.
THAT'S WONDERFUL, LARAINE.
NOW, THAT'S WHY ON TONIGHT'S
1620
00:57:51,735 --> 00:57:53,413
THAT'S WONDERFUL, LARAINE.
NOW, THAT'S WHY ON TONIGHT'S
SHOW, WE'RE GOING TO PRESENT THE
1621
00:57:53,437 --> 00:57:55,081
NOW, THAT'S WHY ON TONIGHT'S
SHOW, WE'RE GOING TO PRESENT THE
FIRST PORNOGRAPHY MADE EXPRESSLY
1622
00:57:55,105 --> 00:57:56,683
SHOW, WE'RE GOING TO PRESENT THE
FIRST PORNOGRAPHY MADE EXPRESSLY
FOR TELEVISION TO HELP CORRUPT
1623
00:57:56,707 --> 00:57:57,918
FIRST PORNOGRAPHY MADE EXPRESSLY
FOR TELEVISION TO HELP CORRUPT
THE MORAL FIBER OF OUR
1624
00:57:57,942 --> 00:58:00,019
FOR TELEVISION TO HELP CORRUPT
THE MORAL FIBER OF OUR
IMPERIALIST CULTURE.
1625
00:58:00,043 --> 00:58:01,688
THE MORAL FIBER OF OUR
IMPERIALIST CULTURE.
PERHAPS IN OUR OWN SMALL WAY,
1626
00:58:01,712 --> 00:58:03,222
IMPERIALIST CULTURE.
PERHAPS IN OUR OWN SMALL WAY,
WE CAN HASTEN THE COLLAPSE OF
1627
00:58:03,246 --> 00:58:04,758
PERHAPS IN OUR OWN SMALL WAY,
WE CAN HASTEN THE COLLAPSE OF
OUR CULTURE AND HELP TO CLEAR
1628
00:58:04,782 --> 00:58:06,192
WE CAN HASTEN THE COLLAPSE OF
OUR CULTURE AND HELP TO CLEAR
THE WAY FOR THE REVOLUTION.
1629
00:58:06,216 --> 00:58:07,393
OUR CULTURE AND HELP TO CLEAR
THE WAY FOR THE REVOLUTION.
SO, IF YOU HAVE ANY
1630
00:58:07,417 --> 00:58:09,028
THE WAY FOR THE REVOLUTION.
SO, IF YOU HAVE ANY
IMPRESSIONABLE CHILDREN WHO ARE
1631
00:58:09,052 --> 00:58:10,564
SO, IF YOU HAVE ANY
IMPRESSIONABLE CHILDREN WHO ARE
ASLEEP, WAKE THEM UP, PLEASE,
1632
00:58:10,588 --> 00:58:12,966
IMPRESSIONABLE CHILDREN WHO ARE
ASLEEP, WAKE THEM UP, PLEASE,
AND JOIN US NOW AS WE GO TO
1633
00:58:12,990 --> 00:58:14,634
ASLEEP, WAKE THEM UP, PLEASE,
AND JOIN US NOW AS WE GO TO
DALLAS STADIUM.
1634
00:58:14,658 --> 00:58:16,778
AND JOIN US NOW AS WE GO TO
DALLAS STADIUM.
COME ON.
1635
00:58:36,278 --> 00:58:40,527
[BUZZER]
YEAH.
Coach Laundry, there are two
1636
00:58:40,551 --> 00:58:42,195
YEAH.
Coach Laundry, there are two
sisters here who'd like to talk
1637
00:58:42,219 --> 00:58:43,930
Coach Laundry, there are two
sisters here who'd like to talk
to you about being cheerleaders.
1638
00:58:43,954 --> 00:58:44,564
Sisters here who'd like to talk
to you about being cheerleaders.
OKAY.
1639
00:58:44,588 --> 00:58:45,398
To you about being cheerleaders.
OKAY.
SEND THEM IN.
1640
00:58:45,422 --> 00:58:50,871
OKAY.
SEND THEM IN.
NO INTERRUPTIONS.
1641
00:58:50,895 --> 00:58:52,405
SEND THEM IN.
NO INTERRUPTIONS.
[Southern accent] HI.
1642
00:58:52,429 --> 00:58:53,940
NO INTERRUPTIONS.
[Southern accent] HI.
YOU MUST BE COACH LAUNDRY.
1643
00:58:53,964 --> 00:58:54,574
[Southern accent] HI.
YOU MUST BE COACH LAUNDRY.
YEAH.
1644
00:58:54,598 --> 00:58:55,909
YOU MUST BE COACH LAUNDRY.
YEAH.
SOMETIMES THEY CALL ME
1645
00:58:55,933 --> 00:58:57,343
YEAH.
SOMETIMES THEY CALL ME
"DIRTY LAUNDRY."
1646
00:58:57,367 --> 00:58:58,444
SOMETIMES THEY CALL ME
"DIRTY LAUNDRY."
[GIGGLES]
1647
00:58:58,468 --> 00:59:00,279
"DIRTY LAUNDRY."
[GIGGLES]
WE'D DO ANYTHING TO BECOME
1648
00:59:00,303 --> 00:59:02,415
[GIGGLES]
WE'D DO ANYTHING TO BECOME
DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS, AND
1649
00:59:02,439 --> 00:59:04,083
WE'D DO ANYTHING TO BECOME
DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS, AND
I MEAN ANYTHING.
1650
00:59:04,107 --> 00:59:05,151
DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS, AND
I MEAN ANYTHING.
ANYTHING?
1651
00:59:05,175 --> 00:59:06,452
I MEAN ANYTHING.
ANYTHING?
THAT'S RIGHT.
1652
00:59:06,476 --> 00:59:08,522
ANYTHING?
THAT'S RIGHT.
HOW ABOUT EVEN RUBBING MY
1653
00:59:08,546 --> 00:59:09,723
THAT'S RIGHT.
HOW ABOUT EVEN RUBBING MY
BACK?
1654
00:59:09,747 --> 00:59:10,490
HOW ABOUT EVEN RUBBING MY
BACK?
OH, SURE.
1655
00:59:10,514 --> 00:59:12,191
BACK?
OH, SURE.
YOU KNOW, OUR FANTASY AS SISTERS
1656
00:59:12,215 --> 00:59:13,793
OH, SURE.
YOU KNOW, OUR FANTASY AS SISTERS
IS TO RUB THE BACKS OF A COACH
1657
00:59:13,817 --> 00:59:15,428
YOU KNOW, OUR FANTASY AS SISTERS
IS TO RUB THE BACKS OF A COACH
AND FOOTBALL PLAYER AT THE SAME
1658
00:59:15,452 --> 00:59:16,429
IS TO RUB THE BACKS OF A COACH
AND FOOTBALL PLAYER AT THE SAME
TIME.
1659
00:59:16,453 --> 00:59:18,331
AND FOOTBALL PLAYER AT THE SAME
TIME.
HMM.
1660
00:59:18,355 --> 00:59:20,634
TIME.
HMM.
MISS WELCH, IS JACKIE WADD STILL
1661
00:59:20,658 --> 00:59:22,602
HMM.
MISS WELCH, IS JACKIE WADD STILL
THERE IN THE OUTER OFFICE?
1662
00:59:22,626 --> 00:59:23,837
MISS WELCH, IS JACKIE WADD STILL
THERE IN THE OUTER OFFICE?
Why, yes.
1663
00:59:23,861 --> 00:59:26,072
THERE IN THE OUTER OFFICE?
Why, yes.
SEND HIM IN.
1664
00:59:26,096 --> 00:59:28,675
Why, yes.
SEND HIM IN.
JACKIE WADD... HE'S ONE OF
1665
00:59:28,699 --> 00:59:31,659
SEND HIM IN.
JACKIE WADD... HE'S ONE OF
THE BIGGEST BACKS IN FOOTBALL.
1666
00:59:36,539 --> 00:59:42,422
SORRY I DROPPED THAT PASS IN
THE END ZONE, COACH.
OH, FORGET ABOUT THE
1667
00:59:42,446 --> 00:59:43,590
THE END ZONE, COACH.
OH, FORGET ABOUT THE
SUPER BOWL, JACKIE.
1668
00:59:43,614 --> 00:59:45,391
OH, FORGET ABOUT THE
SUPER BOWL, JACKIE.
WE'RE GONNA RUB YOUR BACKS LIKE
1669
00:59:45,415 --> 00:59:46,860
SUPER BOWL, JACKIE.
WE'RE GONNA RUB YOUR BACKS LIKE
THEY'VE NEVER BEEN RUBBED
1670
00:59:46,884 --> 00:59:48,494
WE'RE GONNA RUB YOUR BACKS LIKE
THEY'VE NEVER BEEN RUBBED
BEFORE.
1671
00:59:48,518 --> 00:59:49,128
THEY'VE NEVER BEEN RUBBED
BEFORE.
OH, GOD!
1672
00:59:49,152 --> 00:59:49,996
BEFORE.
OH, GOD!
OH, GREAT.
1673
00:59:50,020 --> 00:59:51,497
OH, GOD!
OH, GREAT.
JUST GET ON THAT COACH,
1674
00:59:51,521 --> 00:59:52,032
OH, GREAT.
JUST GET ON THAT COACH,
HONEY.
1675
00:59:52,056 --> 00:59:53,199
JUST GET ON THAT COACH,
HONEY.
GREAT.
1676
00:59:53,223 --> 00:59:54,901
HONEY.
GREAT.
OH, COME ON.
1677
00:59:54,925 --> 00:59:56,335
GREAT.
OH, COME ON.
OH.
1678
00:59:56,359 --> 00:59:59,539
OH, COME ON.
OH.
HOW ABOUT ON THE DESK?
1679
00:59:59,563 --> 01:00:05,111
OH.
HOW ABOUT ON THE DESK?
OKAY.
1680
01:00:05,135 --> 01:00:06,613
HOW ABOUT ON THE DESK?
OKAY.
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYS]
1681
01:00:06,637 --> 01:00:08,782
OKAY.
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYS]
[GROANING]
1682
01:00:08,806 --> 01:00:10,717
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYS]
[GROANING]
THAT FEELS GOOD.
1683
01:00:10,741 --> 01:00:12,052
[GROANING]
THAT FEELS GOOD.
OH, A LITTLE SLOWER.
1684
01:00:12,076 --> 01:00:13,019
THAT FEELS GOOD.
OH, A LITTLE SLOWER.
THAT'S IT.
1685
01:00:13,043 --> 01:00:14,153
OH, A LITTLE SLOWER.
THAT'S IT.
OH, YEAH!
1686
01:00:14,177 --> 01:00:16,422
THAT'S IT.
OH, YEAH!
OH, YOUR BACK IS HOT!
1687
01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:17,757
OH, YEAH!
OH, YOUR BACK IS HOT!
OH, YEAH!
1688
01:00:17,781 --> 01:00:19,659
OH, YOUR BACK IS HOT!
OH, YEAH!
OH, WATCH THE NAILS.
1689
01:00:19,683 --> 01:00:20,326
OH, YEAH!
OH, WATCH THE NAILS.
OH!
1690
01:00:20,350 --> 01:00:22,295
OH, WATCH THE NAILS.
OH!
OH, THAT FEELS GOOD!
1691
01:00:22,319 --> 01:00:24,397
OH!
OH, THAT FEELS GOOD!
I'M GOING TO TRY SOMETHING
1692
01:00:24,421 --> 01:00:25,632
OH, THAT FEELS GOOD!
I'M GOING TO TRY SOMETHING
REALLY UNUSUAL.
1693
01:00:25,656 --> 01:00:27,934
I'M GOING TO TRY SOMETHING
REALLY UNUSUAL.
I WANT TO HOLD YOUR WINGS.
1694
01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:29,368
REALLY UNUSUAL.
I WANT TO HOLD YOUR WINGS.
OKAY, BABY.
1695
01:00:29,392 --> 01:00:31,605
I WANT TO HOLD YOUR WINGS.
OKAY, BABY.
WHATEVER YOU... OH, YEAH!
1696
01:00:31,629 --> 01:00:32,438
OKAY, BABY.
WHATEVER YOU... OH, YEAH!
OH!
1697
01:00:32,462 --> 01:00:35,575
WHATEVER YOU... OH, YEAH!
OH!
OH, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY.
1698
01:00:35,599 --> 01:00:37,677
OH!
OH, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY.
OOH! CRACK ME.
1699
01:00:37,701 --> 01:00:39,479
OH, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY.
OOH! CRACK ME.
CRACK ME. OH!
1700
01:00:39,503 --> 01:00:41,247
OOH! CRACK ME.
CRACK ME. OH!
[BONES CRACKING]
1701
01:00:41,271 --> 01:00:42,482
CRACK ME. OH!
[BONES CRACKING]
OH, YEAH.
1702
01:00:42,506 --> 01:00:45,318
[BONES CRACKING]
OH, YEAH.
HEY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
1703
01:00:45,342 --> 01:00:47,120
OH, YEAH.
HEY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU AND YOUR SISTER
1704
01:00:47,144 --> 01:00:48,788
HEY, I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU AND YOUR SISTER
RUB EACH OTHERS' BACKS, AND
1705
01:00:48,812 --> 01:00:49,689
WHY DON'T YOU AND YOUR SISTER
RUB EACH OTHERS' BACKS, AND
WE'LL WATCH?
1706
01:00:49,713 --> 01:00:55,495
RUB EACH OTHERS' BACKS, AND
WE'LL WATCH?
Both: OKAY.
1707
01:00:55,519 --> 01:00:57,296
WE'LL WATCH?
Both: OKAY.
OH!
1708
01:00:57,320 --> 01:00:57,998
Both: OKAY.
OH!
OH!
1709
01:00:58,022 --> 01:01:00,734
OH!
OH!
HEY, YOU KNOW HOW TO USE ONE
1710
01:01:00,758 --> 01:01:04,137
OH!
HEY, YOU KNOW HOW TO USE ONE
OF THESE?
1711
01:01:04,161 --> 01:01:06,139
HEY, YOU KNOW HOW TO USE ONE
OF THESE?
I DON'T KNOW.
1712
01:01:06,163 --> 01:01:08,241
OF THESE?
I DON'T KNOW.
GIVE IT A TRY.
1713
01:01:08,265 --> 01:01:09,375
I DON'T KNOW.
GIVE IT A TRY.
OH!
1714
01:01:09,399 --> 01:01:12,211
GIVE IT A TRY.
OH!
OH, SCRATCH ME ALL OVER.
1715
01:01:12,235 --> 01:01:13,079
OH!
OH, SCRATCH ME ALL OVER.
OH!
1716
01:01:13,103 --> 01:01:14,748
OH, SCRATCH ME ALL OVER.
OH!
HEY, LET... LET ME GET IN
1717
01:01:14,772 --> 01:01:15,682
OH!
HEY, LET... LET ME GET IN
THERE.
1718
01:01:15,706 --> 01:01:16,683
HEY, LET... LET ME GET IN
THERE.
OH!
1719
01:01:16,707 --> 01:01:19,185
THERE.
OH!
OH, YEAH!
1720
01:01:19,209 --> 01:01:20,687
OH!
OH, YEAH!
OH, YEAH!
1721
01:01:20,711 --> 01:01:22,956
OH, YEAH!
OH, YEAH!
All: [GROANING]
1722
01:01:22,980 --> 01:01:24,913
OH, YEAH!
All: [GROANING]
OH, BABY!
1723
01:01:30,586 --> 01:01:34,790
Announcer: AL AND TOM WILL BE
RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS MESSAGE
FROM THE COMMUNIST PARTY.
1724
01:01:39,295 --> 01:01:44,778
AND NOW HERE'S AL AND TOM.
[APPLAUSE]
Both: GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
1725
01:01:44,802 --> 01:01:45,511
[APPLAUSE]
Both: GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
GOOD NIGHT.
1726
01:01:45,535 --> 01:01:46,646
Both: GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
GOOD NIGHT.
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
1727
01:01:46,670 --> 01:01:47,747
GOOD NIGHT.
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
1728
01:01:47,771 --> 01:01:50,491
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
THANKS FOR WATCHING.
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.
1729
01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:55,877
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING WE
DON'T HAVE IN ENGLAND,
"THE MR. BILL SHOW."
1730
01:01:59,849 --> 01:02:03,930
Announcer: SAY, KIDS, IT'S
TIME FOR "THE MR. BILL SHOW."
HOO-HOO!
1731
01:02:03,954 --> 01:02:04,497
TIME FOR "THE MR. BILL SHOW."
HOO-HOO!
KIDDIES!
1732
01:02:04,521 --> 01:02:05,098
HOO-HOO!
KIDDIES!
HEY, HEY!
1733
01:02:05,122 --> 01:02:05,699
KIDDIES!
HEY, HEY!
OH, BOY.
1734
01:02:05,723 --> 01:02:07,100
HEY, HEY!
OH, BOY.
IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU ALL
1735
01:02:07,124 --> 01:02:07,567
OH, BOY.
IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU ALL
AGAIN.
1736
01:02:07,591 --> 01:02:08,568
IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU ALL
AGAIN.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1737
01:02:08,592 --> 01:02:10,003
AGAIN.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
SAY, MR. HANDS, COULD YOU SEE
1738
01:02:10,027 --> 01:02:11,171
[DOORBELL RINGS]
SAY, MR. HANDS, COULD YOU SEE
WHO'S AT THE DOOR, HUH?
1739
01:02:11,195 --> 01:02:11,871
SAY, MR. HANDS, COULD YOU SEE
WHO'S AT THE DOOR, HUH?
SURE.
1740
01:02:11,895 --> 01:02:13,639
WHO'S AT THE DOOR, HUH?
SURE.
SAY, A MESSENGER BROUGHT THIS
1741
01:02:13,663 --> 01:02:14,340
SURE.
SAY, A MESSENGER BROUGHT THIS
SUMMONS.
1742
01:02:14,364 --> 01:02:16,242
SAY, A MESSENGER BROUGHT THIS
SUMMONS.
WELL, WHAT DOES IT SAY, HUH?
1743
01:02:16,266 --> 01:02:18,044
SUMMONS.
WELL, WHAT DOES IT SAY, HUH?
IT SAYS HERE THAT YOU'RE
1744
01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:20,513
WELL, WHAT DOES IT SAY, HUH?
IT SAYS HERE THAT YOU'RE
BEING SUED BY MR. SLUGGO BECAUSE
1745
01:02:20,537 --> 01:02:22,849
IT SAYS HERE THAT YOU'RE
BEING SUED BY MR. SLUGGO BECAUSE
YOUR DOG, SPOT, BIT HIM ON THE
1746
01:02:22,873 --> 01:02:24,450
BEING SUED BY MR. SLUGGO BECAUSE
YOUR DOG, SPOT, BIT HIM ON THE
LEG AND HAS RABIES.
1747
01:02:24,474 --> 01:02:25,051
YOUR DOG, SPOT, BIT HIM ON THE
LEG AND HAS RABIES.
OH, NO.
1748
01:02:25,075 --> 01:02:26,519
LEG AND HAS RABIES.
OH, NO.
BUT SPOT WOULDN'T BITE ANYBODY.
1749
01:02:26,543 --> 01:02:27,253
OH, NO.
BUT SPOT WOULDN'T BITE ANYBODY.
YOU KNOW THAT.
1750
01:02:27,277 --> 01:02:28,221
BUT SPOT WOULDN'T BITE ANYBODY.
YOU KNOW THAT.
SORRY, MR. BILL.
1751
01:02:28,245 --> 01:02:29,522
YOU KNOW THAT.
SORRY, MR. BILL.
BUT WE HAVE TO GO TO COURT.
1752
01:02:29,546 --> 01:02:30,023
SORRY, MR. BILL.
BUT WE HAVE TO GO TO COURT.
OHH!
1753
01:02:30,047 --> 01:02:31,424
BUT WE HAVE TO GO TO COURT.
OHH!
BUT DON'T WORRY... I'LL BE
1754
01:02:31,448 --> 01:02:32,192
OHH!
BUT DON'T WORRY... I'LL BE
YOUR ATTORNEY.
1755
01:02:32,216 --> 01:02:34,027
BUT DON'T WORRY... I'LL BE
YOUR ATTORNEY.
OKAY, KIDS, I GUESS WE HAVE
1756
01:02:34,051 --> 01:02:35,061
YOUR ATTORNEY.
OKAY, KIDS, I GUESS WE HAVE
TO GO TO COURT TODAY.
1757
01:02:35,085 --> 01:02:35,561
OKAY, KIDS, I GUESS WE HAVE
TO GO TO COURT TODAY.
OH, NO!
1758
01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:36,863
TO GO TO COURT TODAY.
OH, NO!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
1759
01:02:36,887 --> 01:02:38,732
OH, NO!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
THE HONORABLE JUDGE SLUGGO SAYS
1760
01:02:38,756 --> 01:02:40,299
HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
THE HONORABLE JUDGE SLUGGO SAYS
HE WANTS THE DEFENDANT TO
1761
01:02:40,323 --> 01:02:41,567
THE HONORABLE JUDGE SLUGGO SAYS
HE WANTS THE DEFENDANT TO
APPROACH THE BENCH.
1762
01:02:41,591 --> 01:02:42,102
HE WANTS THE DEFENDANT TO
APPROACH THE BENCH.
OH, NO.
1763
01:02:42,126 --> 01:02:43,136
APPROACH THE BENCH.
OH, NO.
HE'S GONNA BE MEAN TO ME,
1764
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:43,669
OH, NO.
HE'S GONNA BE MEAN TO ME,
MR. HANDS.
1765
01:02:43,693 --> 01:02:44,838
HE'S GONNA BE MEAN TO ME,
MR. HANDS.
NOW HE SAYS THE COURT MUST
1766
01:02:44,862 --> 01:02:45,438
MR. HANDS.
NOW HE SAYS THE COURT MUST
COME TO A...
1767
01:02:45,462 --> 01:02:49,542
NOW HE SAYS THE COURT MUST
COME TO A...
OH!
1768
01:02:49,566 --> 01:02:51,778
COME TO A...
OH!
NOW, FIRST, THE DEFENSE WOULD
1769
01:02:51,802 --> 01:02:53,679
OH!
NOW, FIRST, THE DEFENSE WOULD
LIKE TO CALL TO THE WITNESS
1770
01:02:53,703 --> 01:02:54,881
NOW, FIRST, THE DEFENSE WOULD
LIKE TO CALL TO THE WITNESS
STAND MR. SPOT.
1771
01:02:54,905 --> 01:02:57,183
LIKE TO CALL TO THE WITNESS
STAND MR. SPOT.
♪ HERE COMES MR. BILL'S DOG ♪
1772
01:02:57,207 --> 01:02:58,184
STAND MR. SPOT.
♪ HERE COMES MR. BILL'S DOG ♪
HEY, SPOT!
1773
01:02:58,208 --> 01:02:58,985
♪ HERE COMES MR. BILL'S DOG ♪
HEY, SPOT!
HEY, HEY!
1774
01:02:59,009 --> 01:03:00,653
HEY, SPOT!
HEY, HEY!
HOW YOU DOING, HUH, SPOT?
1775
01:03:00,677 --> 01:03:02,355
HEY, HEY!
HOW YOU DOING, HUH, SPOT?
NOW, THE DEFENSE WOULD FIRST
1776
01:03:02,379 --> 01:03:04,124
HOW YOU DOING, HUH, SPOT?
NOW, THE DEFENSE WOULD FIRST
LIKE TO PROVE THAT SPOT DOES NOT
1777
01:03:04,148 --> 01:03:04,924
NOW, THE DEFENSE WOULD FIRST
LIKE TO PROVE THAT SPOT DOES NOT
HAVE RABIES.
1778
01:03:04,948 --> 01:03:05,458
LIKE TO PROVE THAT SPOT DOES NOT
HAVE RABIES.
YEAH.
1779
01:03:05,482 --> 01:03:06,760
HAVE RABIES.
YEAH.
I'LL TAKE A BLOOD TEST.
1780
01:03:06,784 --> 01:03:07,393
YEAH.
I'LL TAKE A BLOOD TEST.
OH, NO!
1781
01:03:07,417 --> 01:03:08,461
I'LL TAKE A BLOOD TEST.
OH, NO!
DON'T DO THAT TO HIM!
1782
01:03:08,485 --> 01:03:09,295
OH, NO!
DON'T DO THAT TO HIM!
DON'T... DON'T!
1783
01:03:09,319 --> 01:03:11,131
DON'T DO THAT TO HIM!
DON'T... DON'T!
OH!
1784
01:03:11,155 --> 01:03:11,765
DON'T... DON'T!
OH!
UH-OH.
1785
01:03:11,789 --> 01:03:13,432
OH!
UH-OH.
IT LOOKS LIKE THE JURY THINKS HE
1786
01:03:13,456 --> 01:03:14,467
UH-OH.
IT LOOKS LIKE THE JURY THINKS HE
DOES HAVE RABIES.
1787
01:03:14,491 --> 01:03:15,135
IT LOOKS LIKE THE JURY THINKS HE
DOES HAVE RABIES.
OH, NO.
1788
01:03:15,159 --> 01:03:16,736
DOES HAVE RABIES.
OH, NO.
THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO NOW
1789
01:03:16,760 --> 01:03:18,138
OH, NO.
THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO NOW
IS CALL YOUR MOTHER TO THE
1790
01:03:18,162 --> 01:03:18,638
THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO NOW
IS CALL YOUR MOTHER TO THE
STAND.
1791
01:03:18,662 --> 01:03:19,639
IS CALL YOUR MOTHER TO THE
STAND.
YAY!
1792
01:03:19,663 --> 01:03:21,674
STAND.
YAY!
♪ HERES COMES MR. BILL'S
1793
01:03:21,698 --> 01:03:22,275
YAY!
♪ HERES COMES MR. BILL'S
MOM ♪
1794
01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:23,009
♪ HERES COMES MR. BILL'S
MOM ♪
YAY!
1795
01:03:23,033 --> 01:03:23,877
MOM ♪
YAY!
MOM, HEY!
1796
01:03:23,901 --> 01:03:25,344
YAY!
MOM, HEY!
HOW YOU DOING, MOM?
1797
01:03:25,368 --> 01:03:25,879
MOM, HEY!
HOW YOU DOING, MOM?
YAY!
1798
01:03:25,903 --> 01:03:26,479
HOW YOU DOING, MOM?
YAY!
OKAY.
1799
01:03:26,503 --> 01:03:28,181
YAY!
OKAY.
THE DEFENSE WOULD FIRST LIKE TO
1800
01:03:28,205 --> 01:03:30,917
OKAY.
THE DEFENSE WOULD FIRST LIKE TO
ASK YOUR MOTHER IF MR. BILL HAS
1801
01:03:30,941 --> 01:03:33,019
THE DEFENSE WOULD FIRST LIKE TO
ASK YOUR MOTHER IF MR. BILL HAS
EVER BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY.
1802
01:03:33,043 --> 01:03:36,122
ASK YOUR MOTHER IF MR. BILL HAS
EVER BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY.
MR. BILL IS THE NICEST SON A
1803
01:03:36,146 --> 01:03:38,191
EVER BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY.
MR. BILL IS THE NICEST SON A
MOTHER COULD EVER HAVE.
1804
01:03:38,215 --> 01:03:38,758
MR. BILL IS THE NICEST SON A
MOTHER COULD EVER HAVE.
YAY!
1805
01:03:38,782 --> 01:03:39,525
MOTHER COULD EVER HAVE.
YAY!
THANKS, MOM.
1806
01:03:39,549 --> 01:03:39,959
YAY!
THANKS, MOM.
YAY!
1807
01:03:39,983 --> 01:03:41,460
THANKS, MOM.
YAY!
NOW DISTRICT ATTORNEY SLUGGO
1808
01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:43,029
YAY!
NOW DISTRICT ATTORNEY SLUGGO
WOULD LIKE TO CROSS-EXAMINE YOUR
1809
01:03:43,053 --> 01:03:44,497
NOW DISTRICT ATTORNEY SLUGGO
WOULD LIKE TO CROSS-EXAMINE YOUR
MOTHER ALONE IN THE BACK ROOM.
1810
01:03:44,521 --> 01:03:45,231
WOULD LIKE TO CROSS-EXAMINE YOUR
MOTHER ALONE IN THE BACK ROOM.
NO, WAIT.
1811
01:03:45,255 --> 01:03:46,399
MOTHER ALONE IN THE BACK ROOM.
NO, WAIT.
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HER?
1812
01:03:46,423 --> 01:03:47,700
NO, WAIT.
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HER?
HE'S GONNA BE MEAN TO HER.
1813
01:03:47,724 --> 01:03:48,301
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HER?
HE'S GONNA BE MEAN TO HER.
NO, WAIT!
1814
01:03:48,325 --> 01:03:48,835
HE'S GONNA BE MEAN TO HER.
NO, WAIT!
NO, NO, NO!
1815
01:03:48,859 --> 01:03:49,402
NO, WAIT!
NO, NO, NO!
[THUMPING]
1816
01:03:49,426 --> 01:03:51,938
NO, NO, NO!
[THUMPING]
OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!
1817
01:03:51,962 --> 01:03:54,140
[THUMPING]
OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!
OHHH!
1818
01:03:54,164 --> 01:03:54,808
OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!
OHHH!
OH, MOM!
1819
01:03:54,832 --> 01:03:56,609
OHHH!
OH, MOM!
HEY, WAIT... THERE'S BEEN A
1820
01:03:56,633 --> 01:03:58,244
OH, MOM!
HEY, WAIT... THERE'S BEEN A
SUDDEN CHANGE IN TESTIMONY.
1821
01:03:58,268 --> 01:04:00,180
HEY, WAIT... THERE'S BEEN A
SUDDEN CHANGE IN TESTIMONY.
MR. BILL IS A SPOILED BRAT
1822
01:04:00,204 --> 01:04:02,248
SUDDEN CHANGE IN TESTIMONY.
MR. BILL IS A SPOILED BRAT
AND HAS COMMITTED MANY FELONIES
1823
01:04:02,272 --> 01:04:03,049
MR. BILL IS A SPOILED BRAT
AND HAS COMMITTED MANY FELONIES
RECENTLY.
1824
01:04:03,073 --> 01:04:04,984
AND HAS COMMITTED MANY FELONIES
RECENTLY.
THE D.A. SAYS, "NO FURTHER
1825
01:04:05,008 --> 01:04:05,885
RECENTLY.
THE D.A. SAYS, "NO FURTHER
QUESTIONS."
1826
01:04:05,909 --> 01:04:06,585
THE D.A. SAYS, "NO FURTHER
QUESTIONS."
OHH!
1827
01:04:06,609 --> 01:04:08,288
QUESTIONS."
OHH!
OH, NO, MR. BILL.
1828
01:04:08,312 --> 01:04:09,755
OHH!
OH, NO, MR. BILL.
THE JURY HAS DECIDED TO THROW
1829
01:04:09,779 --> 01:04:10,690
OH, NO, MR. BILL.
THE JURY HAS DECIDED TO THROW
THE BOOKS AT YOU.
1830
01:04:10,714 --> 01:04:12,258
THE JURY HAS DECIDED TO THROW
THE BOOKS AT YOU.
OH, NO, NO!
1831
01:04:12,282 --> 01:04:13,860
THE BOOKS AT YOU.
OH, NO, NO!
THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO NOW
1832
01:04:13,884 --> 01:04:14,894
OH, NO, NO!
THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO NOW
IS PLEAD INSANITY.
1833
01:04:14,918 --> 01:04:15,829
THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO NOW
IS PLEAD INSANITY.
WHAT ABOUT...
1834
01:04:15,853 --> 01:04:17,396
IS PLEAD INSANITY.
WHAT ABOUT...
AH, JUDGE SLUGGO SAYS YOU
1835
01:04:17,420 --> 01:04:18,298
WHAT ABOUT...
AH, JUDGE SLUGGO SAYS YOU
ARE INSANE...
1836
01:04:18,322 --> 01:04:18,832
AH, JUDGE SLUGGO SAYS YOU
ARE INSANE...
YAY!
1837
01:04:18,856 --> 01:04:20,433
ARE INSANE...
YAY!
AND THAT YOU NEED SHOCK
1838
01:04:20,457 --> 01:04:21,134
YAY!
AND THAT YOU NEED SHOCK
TREATMENT.
1839
01:04:21,158 --> 01:04:21,801
AND THAT YOU NEED SHOCK
TREATMENT.
OH, NO!
1840
01:04:21,825 --> 01:04:22,836
TREATMENT.
OH, NO!
BUT I'M INNOCENT.
1841
01:04:22,860 --> 01:04:24,470
OH, NO!
BUT I'M INNOCENT.
YOU KNOW I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING,
1842
01:04:24,494 --> 01:04:25,138
BUT I'M INNOCENT.
YOU KNOW I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING,
MR. HANDS.
1843
01:04:25,162 --> 01:04:26,272
YOU KNOW I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING,
MR. HANDS.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
1844
01:04:26,296 --> 01:04:27,006
MR. HANDS.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
NO, W-WAIT.
1845
01:04:27,030 --> 01:04:28,341
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
NO, W-WAIT.
WAIT... MAYBE THAT'S THE
1846
01:04:28,365 --> 01:04:29,375
NO, W-WAIT.
WAIT... MAYBE THAT'S THE
GOVERNOR CALLING.
1847
01:04:29,399 --> 01:04:31,010
WAIT... MAYBE THAT'S THE
GOVERNOR CALLING.
NAH, I DOUBT IT.
1848
01:04:31,034 --> 01:04:32,946
GOVERNOR CALLING.
NAH, I DOUBT IT.
SO, UNTIL NEXT WEEK, MR. BILL
1849
01:04:32,970 --> 01:04:33,612
NAH, I DOUBT IT.
SO, UNTIL NEXT WEEK, MR. BILL
SAYS...
1850
01:04:33,636 --> 01:04:36,471
SO, UNTIL NEXT WEEK, MR. BILL
SAYS...
OHHHH!
1851
01:04:58,761 --> 01:05:02,608
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I JUST
WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO
DURING THE COURSE OF THE SHOW
1852
01:05:02,632 --> 01:05:04,043
WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO
DURING THE COURSE OF THE SHOW
HAVE SENT IN FROM PLACES AS FAR
1853
01:05:04,067 --> 01:05:06,279
DURING THE COURSE OF THE SHOW
HAVE SENT IN FROM PLACES AS FAR
APART AS DECATUR AND PITTSBURGH
1854
01:05:06,303 --> 01:05:08,248
HAVE SENT IN FROM PLACES AS FAR
APART AS DECATUR AND PITTSBURGH
SOCKS... JUST LIKE I NEEDED
1855
01:05:08,272 --> 01:05:09,115
APART AS DECATUR AND PITTSBURGH
SOCKS... JUST LIKE I NEEDED
EARLIER ON.
1856
01:05:09,139 --> 01:05:10,516
SOCKS... JUST LIKE I NEEDED
EARLIER ON.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
1857
01:05:10,540 --> 01:05:12,118
EARLIER ON.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
[BAND PLAYS]
1858
01:05:12,142 --> 01:05:13,909
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
[BAND PLAYS]
THANK YOU.
1859
01:05:33,796 --> 01:05:35,063
Announcer: TWO WEEKS FROM
1860
01:05:35,197 --> 01:05:36,631
TONIGHT, "SATURDAY NIGHT'S" HOST
1861
01:05:36,765 --> 01:05:38,699
WILL BE CICELY TYSON WITH
1862
01:05:38,834 --> 01:05:40,936
MUSICAL GUEST TALKING HEADS.
1863
01:05:41,070 --> 01:05:42,870
THIS IS DON PARDO.
1864
01:05:43,005 --> 01:05:44,806
GOOD NIGHT.
200292
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