All language subtitles for Love,.Victor.S03E03.SPAMnEGGS.en

So, what do you think of the new church?

Father Choi seems pretty
cool, right? Very accepting?

Yeah, I mean, he didn't
say I was goin' to hell

for being gay, so that's a plus.

Speaking of which, did
you see the flowerbed?

They planted it like a gay rainbow flag.

Uh, it's just "rainbow flag", babe.

Mom, you don't have to sell it so hard.

- I like it here.
- You do?

- Yeah.
- Well, who knows?

Maybe you'll join a youth
group and meet a nice boy.

All right, now you went too far.

What, I can't want my
son to meet a nice boy?

Mom, Benji and I just broke up,
and I'm still really sad about it.

He didn't even put
product in his hair today.

If that doesn't say gay
depression, I don't know what does.

All right, look, Mom, I'm just...

I'm not ready to date anybody new yet.

Okay, understood.

Let's set up the snack table.

The body of Christ wasn't
very filling anyway.

Isa...

- I know.
- You're telling him to meet a guy at church?

Well, ever since this Benji thing,

he just lies in bed and
watches Emily in Paris,

and not even the good season.

I just thought it might cheer him up

if he knew that his mother
was a supportive gay ally.

It's just "ally", and, uh, I think
you should give him some space.

- Are you guys new?
- Yeah.

- I'm Doug. This is my wife, Carrie.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi, hi, Armando.

- Armando.
- Hi. Isabel.

- Hi.
- Hi.

So, I promise I wasn't eavesdropping,

but I... I heard you both
say that you have a gay son?

Our son, Victor.

He's actually the reason
we came to the church.

We wanted a place where
he would feel welcome.

Well, you've found it.

Our son, Nick, is gay, too,

and... everyone has been
so warm and welcoming.

- How old is he?
- Seventeen.

Seventeen.

Is he single?

What, I backed off for six seconds.

That is a personal best.

I can't believe we live together.

I know! We always talked
about being roomies,

but I always figured it would
be during a semester abroad

in some cramped apartment in Rome,

and we'd be dating a pair
of hot Italian brothers.

Or a brother and a sister.

The dream can change with the times.

Pizza tonight?

Uh-uh, one slice is an hour
and a half on the elliptical.

Okay, can we help you?

Well, I was just checking
in on our guest of honor

to see how you're settling in.

Yeah, everything's perfect.

Georgina, I really
can't thank you enough

for letting me stay here.

Well, I feel terrible
that I'm not gonna be here

for your first weekend, but
I am the sole celebrity judge

in the Little Miss
Georgia Peach pageant.

You know how they like
a little star power.

You sure you guys are gonna
be fine here on your own?

Yeah, we're excited to
have a little girls' night.

I got a bunch of Korean face masks

and some stupid magazines.

Save me one of those masks, okay?

They discontinued my favorite skin cream

because, apparently,
"pandas are endangered".

Bye.

Ooh, yay! Lucy's in for girls' night.

Oh, I, I didn't know
you were inviting her.

- Hm.
- But, duh,

I mean, your girlfriend's a girl.

I know. Isn't it awesome?

Mm-hm.

- Wow.
- Oh!

Dance-cleaning. You
must be in a good mood.

Yes, I'm very happy.

Good happy or... "splatter
painting the appliances

at four in the morning" happy?

But I still think that that
oven looked pretty cool.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm doing really well, okay?

I have a psychiatrist that I love.

I found some meds that I
can actually stay awake on.

I am very excited about
my son's new girlfriend.

No, no, no, no. Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.

- Please, okay?
- What?

The Salazars might
be able to hear, okay?

Well, honey, unless
they've bugged our floor,

they can't hear us. I
have to tell you, though,

I don't love keeping a secret from them.

Me neither, but, you know,
Pilar isn't ready for us

to spill our love beans.

Okay.

Speaking of spilling your love beans,

I met someone.

Someone?

As, as, as in a man?

Yes... a very sweet man named Stuart.

Wow.

Wow. That is, that is, that is so great.

You're doin' the thing with
your hair. You're freaking out.

No, no, no, no. I'm not, I'm not.

I'm not freaking out,
okay? I'm not freaking out.

It's just, you know, I... You just...

Y-ya haven't been on
a date, like... ever.

Listen, I'm seeing him tonight.

I want you to come and
meet him. Bring Pilar.

Maybe she can get you to stop
doin' the thing with your hair.

'Kay, first of all, that...
I'm not, I'm not stress-combing.

- Okay.
- Okay? I, I... That, that's just me stylin' my lid,

and I... will think about it.

- Okay... Think about it.
- Mm-hm.

Okay... think really hard about it.

Who am I even looking this good for?

Okay, that was funny.

Look, I get it. Breakups suck.

Or at least, so I hear. I've
never actually dated anyone before.

But maybe it's time for
you to get back out there.

Dude, you sound like my mom.

Uh, huge compliment.

I hope my waist is that
tiny when I'm her age.

All I'm saying is, it might not be

the worst idea for you to have some fun.

What's the point?

'Cause any guy I meet
doesn't stand a chance

because I'm still hung up on Benji.

I know... I lived it.

Uh, speaking of...

someone just posted about your
former boo on Creeksecrets.

"Bender Benji's Holiday Ski Trip

was really a secret jaunt to rehab".

To be fair, the whole ski trip
thing was, kind of, a terrible lie.

There he is.

Do you think he knows?

Like... maybe I should
go see if he's okay.

I... Except we shouldn't be talking.

I'll see you later.

- Hey, friend.
- Hey.

I just saw Victor,

but I'm not supposed to talk to him.

I'm drowning in calculus right
now 'cause I missed a week,

and got, like, no homework
done over the winter break.

Don't kill the messenger,

but I have another cloud
to add to your shitstorm.

Oh God... What is it?

Okay, so, some rando
must've found out that...

your ski trip wasn't a ski trip.

There's a post about you goin' to rehab.

What up, Ski-hab?!

Who do you think posted it?

I only told you and Victor.

But I did say he could
tell his closest friends.

I will add that to our list of
things to do on our girls' night.

Um, okay, so about girls' night,

I definitely wanna do that soon,

but... Lucy and I were thinking,
since my mom's gone, we might,

you know, have a different
type of girls' night.

Wait, does that mean...

Whatever you're about
to say, just don't.

That seems wise.

I'm so sorry, Mia. I
hate to cancel our plans.

Stop. I totally get it.

Uh, yeah, I'll just...
I'll hang with this one.

I have an English quiz to
cram for, so... see you later?

Yeah.

Oh my God... This is
your first time, right?

- Mm-hm.
- Are you okay?

Do you, do you wanna talk about it?

Yeah, I had some questions,

but talked about it with
Lucy, and now we're good.

That's so... great.

Stop picturing it.

I am only human.

Hmm.

Hey.

Victor, can you take
a shower and be quick?

- Why, are we having people over?
- Yeah.

Your father and I met a lovely
couple at church the other day.

And guess what? They have
a son your age... who's gay.

- Oh my God, you didn't.
- We did.

Actually, she did, Victor,
okay? I told her, I begged her.

I'm, I'm sorry, Isa, but
I'm not goin' down for this.

Ay, can you just give it a chance?

Maybe you and Nick'll hit it off.

Because we're both gay?

Are all straight people
perfect for each other

- because they're straight?
- I'm with Victor.

This whole thing is messed up,

and in support, I'm
blowing off this dinner

and going out with my friends.

Wait, wait, wait. What, What
friends? Where you going?

Oh, just to the abandoned house

across from the gas station to shoot up.

- Byeee.
- That's not funny. Pilar!

Victor, can you take a shower, please?

Because they are on their way.

I'm sensing a lot of tension right
now, so I'll take dinner in my room.

- Me too.
- Oh, no. Not you.

- Mom.
- No, no, no, come on.

Thanks for havin' us.

Good to see you.

Fine, I will stay for dinner,

but only because you
raised me to be polite.

Seriously?

Sorry. I, uh, I thought you
worked Mondays and Wednesdays.

And, yes, I memorized your schedule

because I hate awkward run-ins

just as much as I love this
place's cinnamon oat lattes.

How about a double shot,

so you can have enough energy
to blow up someone else's life?

Is this about today's rehab post?

Because I would never, ever
write something like that.

Right, right. Because
you have so much honor.

Except when you're kissing
other people's boyfriends.

It's so annoying that my parents

are pimping out Victor
to some random kid.

Meanwhile, my dad treats me like

I'm about to be the
next story on Dateline.

Wow... You're even worse at
fake laughing than Victor.

- Yeah.
- Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just, you know,

this whole my mom dating
thing's throwing me for a loop.

She seems like she's doing a lot better.

I know, okay? And I
wanna believe that she is,

but the last guy my
mom was with was my dad,

and when they split,
she spiraled... hard.

I just don't want some random
guy undoing all of her progress.

- Oh!
- Hi, hi, uh, you must be Felix.

Uh, yes, yes, um, uh, Pilar.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Stuart.

Thank you for meeting us here, you guys.

Um, okay, I'm gonna let you guys

get to know each other
a little bit more,

and I'm gonna go get our
cakes, and we'll get started.

So, um, how did you two meet?

I own a meditation studio,

and Dawn started taking
my energy healing class.

Oh, okay.

So, she must be taking your
class for mental health.

I assume you guys...
talked about that, right?

We have, uh, a lot, actually,

um, but who hasn't had a smidge
of depression here and there?

You know, I, I, I wouldn't,
I wouldn't call it "a smidge".

You know, it almost
makes it sound... cute.

You're right. You're right.

I, I guess I was just
tryin' to keep things light.

You know what? Let me ask you something.

Uh, in this class of,
um, healing energy,

uh, do they teach you how
to force-feed someone toast

when they're unwilling to eat?

Or just to get dressed?
How 'bout take a shower?

- Felix, stop it.
- Okay.

Who's ready to get their cake cup on?

Yeah.

You have scrolled through "Critically
Acclaimed Dark Danish Dramas"

about three times now.

Maybe we pick something.

Um, yeah.

See, that "yeah" sounds
like we're gonna press play,

and then pause it 10 seconds
later because you wanna "talk".

It's just I thought I
would hear from Lake.

I guess she's busy with Lucy.

What's goin' on with you?

- Are you jealous of Lucy?
- No.

They've just gotten so close, so fast.

I mean, when, when she was dating Felix,

she needed a girlfriend
to talk about him.

But... with Lucy, her
girlfriend is the girlfriend

to talk to you about her girlfriend.

Let's just watch a movie.

It's just we've been best
friends since fourth grade.

This is an Argentinian red
that we, actually, discovered

while we were touring...
the supermarket.

Hey, uh, sorry it took
me a minute to get ready.

It's worth the wait. You clean up nice.

Thanks. I'm not,
usually, drenched in sweat

when people come over
for a dinner party,

but it was kind of
sprung on me last minute.

Well, can I be honest?

My parents dragged me
here kicking and screaming,

- so.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- Uh, so, you didn't wanna come?

The only thing they knew about you

was that you were gay, so of course not.

- I was offended on principle.
- Yeah, same, same.

My mom is still new to the whole

"supportive mother of a gay son" thing.

Yeah.

And, uh...

also, I've kinda just recently,
um, been going through,

like, a pretty bad breakup,

- and, um...
- Hm.

... everyone's, like,
pressuring me to move on,

but I just don't know
if I'm ready to yet.

Well, I don't know. Maybe,
everyone's onto something.

Um... I have an idea... Watch this.

Oh, I'm, I'm such an idiot. Mom, I,
I totally forgot to bring the pie.

Oh, well, sweetie, we told the
Salazars that we would bring dessert.

I know, I know. I'm so sorry.

Um, I, I can just run out
and go get another one.

It's fine. I'm sure that
I can find something.

Please, Mrs. Salazar, my parents
will never let me live this down.

Um, Victor, would you wanna come with?

Uh, yeah, sure.

Bye.

Is it okay if we get under the covers?

Um... I'm a little
self-conscious about my thighs.

Your thighs? I love your thighs.

Yeah, for me, it's my arms.

Oh my God. Your arms are
beautiful and swanlike.

Um.

- Is... Are you okay?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I am just going
to run to the bathroom,

so I won't have to get up
later and kill the mood.

Okay.

Be right back.

Rahim, I am so behind on calc
right now, it's not even funny.

I really don't have time
for some half-assed apology.

Good... 'cause I'm not
here to give you one.

But I did back-trace the username
of the person who did post about you,

and it's that senior kid, Jonah.

Apparently, he had a cousin in rehab
with you... so he's the asshole.

Except I... I did kiss
your boyfriend at a wedding

when I thought you two were maybe over

and for that, I'm very, very sorry.

Got it.

Thanks.

I'm not your enemy, Benji.

Well, you're not my friend.

So, uh... if we're
not here to get a pie.

You're wearing my face mask.

Well, I thought, maybe, that
I could fill in for Lake.

Be your girlfriend for tonight.

Aww. Well, that's the sweetest thing

any girlfriend has ever done for me.

Hm.

It's Lake. Uh, I could ignore it.

No, take it. I'm gonna
focus on my shrinking pores.

Hey, uh, what's up?

It was totally on, and I blew it.

Wh... Okay, okay. Slow down.

What happened? Is, is she still there?

Yes, she's waiting for me in bed.

Everything was fine, and then

the clothes started
coming off and I panicked.

Mia, I don't know what I'm doing.

What if I'm... terrible at sex
with her and screw everything up?

Okay, all right. Breathe.

I'm no expert on queer sex,

but can I at least remind
you of a piece of information

that you may have forgotten?

Okay.

You're a woman, and you
know what you like. True?

- True.
- Just start with that

and check in with her.

And if all else fails, you
can do what I do with Andrew,

and kiss her on the cheek

and say, "Now you do
whatever you want to me".

That all makes perfect sense.

Thank God for you.

Call me later and tell
me how it goes, okay?

Duh, bitch. I love you.

Love you.

It's not fair to your mom, Felix.

For... you trying to
scare him away like that.

I know you're coming from a good place,

but... you're acting like my dad.

He's so overprotective,

and scared of anyone
ever trying to hurt me

that he doesn't let me live my life.

And now, I'm forced to hide the
best thing that's happened to me

in, probably, forever from him
and it... it feels terrible.

Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm the best thing that's
ever happened to you?

Little ol' me?

Mmm, second best. That cake
in a cup was really good.

But, you have to let
your mom live, Felix.

Even if you're scared
of her getting hurt.

And guess what? Things could work out.

That was insane.

I've never done anything
like that before.

Do I look okay?

Yeah, um, better than this pie.

- I think it got crushed in the backseat.
- Great. Okay.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Your buttons are all screwed.

- We have to go.
- Yeah, yeah, let's go inside.

Take that. All right.

- Hey.
- Finally.

Everything go all right
at the grocery store?

Oh yeah. Uh, yeah, just took
us a little while to find a pie.

So, he's really cute
and he's really nice,

and you can't be mad at me, right?

We'll talk later.

You like him. You really like him.

Just gimme some rice, please.

Okay.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Okay, I'm... dying to know.
What did you think of him?

I thought he was great. Yeah,
no, I really, really liked him.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

Oh, good.

Because you have no idea how rare
it is to find a guy like this.

Oh my gosh. He's, like...

He's funny, but he
doesn't know he's funny.

He's talkative, but he's
also a good listener.

And he's smart. He's so, so,
so, so, so smart, and he's kind.

He reminds me of you.

You are just wonderful.

- Good night, you guys. See you at church!
- Have a great night.

Ciao.

So... are you gonna see him again?

Probably, yeah.

You got lucky, okay? I, I like him.

But really, Ma, y...
you need to chill out.

Okay? The whole gay ally thing,
the, the church, this set up.

It's just... It's too much. Okay?

I'll just let you two talk.

When you came out to
us... I just stared at you.

I didn't hug you.

I didn't tell you that I
would love you no matter what.

I just made your life hell for months.

I just feel like I have
so much to make up for.

Just be my mom.

Like, annoy me about my homework, or...

I don't know, ask me how I'm
doing when I had a shitty day.

How are you?

Honestly, not too great.

I can't stop thinking about Benji.

And...

today, it came out
that he went to rehab.

I know.

And all I wanna do is
just be there for him,

but he won't even look at me.

And on the other hand,

hanging out with this...

new, fun, cute guy

did feel really good.

You know, Victor, even if
it's meant to be with Benji,

doesn't mean that it's meant to be now.

Your father and I met when we
were 16, and we were... so in love.

But who knows?

If we... If we had had the
time to grow and stretch,

on our own, when we were younger,

then, maybe, we wouldn't
have had to find out

who we are as single people
when we're... 40 years old.

- Really, Ma? 40?
- How dare you. So wrong.

Morning.

I don't wanna interrupt,
but I brought breakfast.

Wait, why are you covering your eyes?

Just come in, weirdo.

Not everybody has zero
boundaries like you.

Ooh, ooh, wow.

So, I'm assuming things
went pretty well last night.

I should be thanking you.

I heard, um, you and Lake
used to practice kissing

in the seventh grade.

- We said "to the grave".
- No, we promised not to tell any boys.

Okay, fine. But it stays
between the three of us.

- Hey.
- Hm!

Cheers.

Oh, hey, Benji.

Uh, your tutor will be here any minute.

He's only a sophomore, but
he's already taking AP Calc.

He's the best.

I'm really happy you
reached out for extra help.

Hi, Mr. Bumgarner. I'm here to
meet the student that I'm tutoring.

Shit.

Finally, something we can agree on.

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -