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1
00:00:03,510 --> 00:00:06,426
[rock music]
2
00:00:06,513 --> 00:00:09,429
♪ ♪
3
00:00:09,516 --> 00:00:12,214
[both chuckling]
4
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:18,307
That statue kicks ass.
5
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,353
Yeah, yeah.
[both chuckle]
6
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,571
What kind of pants are those?
7
00:00:21,659 --> 00:00:23,399
They're yoga pants, dumbass.
8
00:00:23,486 --> 00:00:25,793
Everybody knows that.
[chuckles]
9
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,317
Well, that statue sure looks
good in those yoga pants.
10
00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:30,102
[chuckles]
- It sure does.
11
00:00:30,189 --> 00:00:32,321
[chuckles]
- [chuckles]
12
00:00:32,408 --> 00:00:35,629
Yoga pants.
[chuckles]
13
00:00:35,716 --> 00:00:37,239
Mm.
14
00:00:37,326 --> 00:00:38,980
Um, Butt-Head?
15
00:00:39,067 --> 00:00:40,721
I wonder if I would look sexy
in yoga pants.
16
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:41,983
[chuckles]
Yeah.
17
00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:44,159
Everyone looks sexy
in yoga pants.
18
00:00:44,246 --> 00:00:47,162
Yeah, except for you, Beavis,
19
00:00:47,249 --> 00:00:48,990
'cause you're disgusting.
20
00:00:49,077 --> 00:00:50,905
No way, Butt-Head.
[chuckles]
21
00:00:50,992 --> 00:00:52,428
You heard what she said.
22
00:00:52,515 --> 00:00:54,213
I'm gonna listen to a chick
and not you.
23
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:55,823
[chuckles]
24
00:00:55,910 --> 00:00:57,695
I'm gonna go get
some yoga pants,
25
00:00:57,782 --> 00:00:59,435
and then I shall score.
26
00:00:59,522 --> 00:01:01,437
[chuckles]
27
00:01:01,524 --> 00:01:03,309
[slurps]
28
00:01:04,353 --> 00:01:06,225
You've seen it before,
but not on this scale.
29
00:01:06,312 --> 00:01:08,183
[laughs]
30
00:01:08,270 --> 00:01:11,404
I thought we all needed
cheering up, myself included.
31
00:01:11,491 --> 00:01:13,667
So I know how you love
a little bit of rock cooking.
32
00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:16,017
I thought I'd go OTT with it.
33
00:01:16,104 --> 00:01:18,498
You know--you know,
Butt-Head, um,
34
00:01:18,585 --> 00:01:20,326
sometimes I worry that
I'll never score, you know?
35
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:21,719
But, um--
36
00:01:21,806 --> 00:01:24,591
but this guy will never score.
37
00:01:24,678 --> 00:01:27,072
Yeah, I don't see
how he could.
38
00:01:27,159 --> 00:01:29,335
[chuckles]
39
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,684
Is this the outback
or something?
40
00:01:30,771 --> 00:01:33,426
He's in the outback
41
00:01:33,513 --> 00:01:35,210
'cause his wife
kicked him out,
42
00:01:35,297 --> 00:01:38,083
and now he's living out back
behind his mom's house.
43
00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:40,694
[chuckles]
44
00:01:40,781 --> 00:01:43,566
"Mom, can I play breakfast
in the backyard again?"
45
00:01:43,653 --> 00:01:45,917
[both chuckle]
46
00:01:48,267 --> 00:01:51,618
This guy's survival skill,
is it, like, if he runs out
47
00:01:51,705 --> 00:01:54,316
of food, he just goes
to his mom's house
48
00:01:54,403 --> 00:01:56,449
and gets a bunch
of stuff out of the fridge?
49
00:01:56,536 --> 00:02:00,279
[both chuckle]
50
00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:02,237
And then he just goes
into the backyard
51
00:02:02,324 --> 00:02:03,412
and cooks it all, yeah.
52
00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:05,284
[chuckles]
53
00:02:05,371 --> 00:02:06,589
On one of those tiles
from the roof, yeah.
54
00:02:06,676 --> 00:02:08,417
[chuckles]
55
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,158
Why didn't he just, like,
get some Froot Loops
56
00:02:10,245 --> 00:02:11,333
or something?
57
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,901
[both chuckle]
58
00:02:13,988 --> 00:02:16,643
This breakfast
is a cry for help.
59
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:19,341
[both chuckle]
60
00:02:22,431 --> 00:02:24,346
He made a face
out of eggs and sausage
61
00:02:24,433 --> 00:02:25,521
'cause he's lonely.
62
00:02:25,608 --> 00:02:28,481
[both chuckle]
63
00:02:31,397 --> 00:02:33,225
"Let's make some
pancake boobs here."
64
00:02:33,312 --> 00:02:36,184
[both chuckle]
65
00:02:36,271 --> 00:02:38,360
He's like,
"I'm cooking for two
66
00:02:38,447 --> 00:02:41,407
"in case Jennifer comes back.
Has anyone seen her?
67
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:44,018
No?
Well, that means more for me."
68
00:02:44,105 --> 00:02:45,672
[chuckles]
69
00:02:45,759 --> 00:02:47,761
This is turning out
to be a great day
70
00:02:47,848 --> 00:02:50,633
without Jennifer,
and many more to come, yeah.
71
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:51,896
[chuckles]
72
00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:54,942
" Yeah, my ex-wife
likes oranges,
73
00:02:55,029 --> 00:02:57,684
so I guess I'll make her
some orange juice.
74
00:02:57,771 --> 00:02:59,642
[chuckles]
75
00:02:59,729 --> 00:03:01,644
And I'll make it here
in her sawed-off leg bone.
76
00:03:01,731 --> 00:03:04,647
[both chuckle]
77
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,651
That was lovely.
78
00:03:08,738 --> 00:03:10,436
[chuckles]
79
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,613
Yup, all good things
must come to an end,
80
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:16,921
like this filthy breakfast
and my marriage of 14 months.
81
00:03:17,008 --> 00:03:19,097
[both chuckle]
82
00:03:19,184 --> 00:03:21,055
Come on, Butt-Head.
This is getting too sad.
83
00:03:21,142 --> 00:03:22,274
[chuckles]
84
00:03:22,361 --> 00:03:24,842
Yeah.
[chuckles]
85
00:03:24,929 --> 00:03:27,061
"And now I filled
this backpack with rocks,
86
00:03:27,148 --> 00:03:28,802
and I'm just gonna go
walk into the ocean."
87
00:03:28,889 --> 00:03:32,850
[both chuckle]
- Yeah.
88
00:03:32,937 --> 00:03:36,288
"In the next episode, you'll
be seeing an outback funeral."
89
00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:39,813
[both chuckle]
90
00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,207
"Let me know if she's there."
[chuckles]
91
00:03:42,294 --> 00:03:44,600
"She'll probably cry,
and then she'll regret
92
00:03:44,687 --> 00:03:46,472
running off
with her college roommate."
93
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,604
Yeah.
[both chuckle]
94
00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:51,172
She'll be like, "You know,
if I hadn't left him,
95
00:03:51,259 --> 00:03:54,393
"he'd still be alive and
cooking me a filthy breakfast
96
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:55,785
on a rock."
97
00:03:55,873 --> 00:03:57,570
[both chuckle]
98
00:03:57,657 --> 00:04:00,355
"And don't forget,
if you like this video,
99
00:04:00,442 --> 00:04:01,617
can you please go
find my wife?"
100
00:04:01,704 --> 00:04:03,402
[both chuckle]
101
00:04:03,489 --> 00:04:04,882
Just smash
that find-my-wife button.
102
00:04:04,969 --> 00:04:08,102
[both chuckle]
103
00:04:10,235 --> 00:04:12,150
Go get me some yoga pants.
104
00:04:12,237 --> 00:04:14,804
Ooh, yeah.
[chuckles]
105
00:04:14,892 --> 00:04:18,547
Uh, here you go, Beavis.
[chuckles]
106
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:21,333
Um, those look kind of small,
Butt-Head.
107
00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:23,465
Of course they look small, dumbass.
108
00:04:23,552 --> 00:04:26,033
That's because they, like,
stretch and stuff so that
109
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,775
they can, like, rearrange
your butt or something.
110
00:04:28,862 --> 00:04:30,429
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That makes sense, yeah.
111
00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:32,561
[chuckles]
This is gonna be cool.
112
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:33,606
[chuckles]
113
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,827
- [slurps]
- Okay.
114
00:04:37,915 --> 00:04:39,090
I'll take these off.
115
00:04:39,177 --> 00:04:40,961
Here we go.
[chuckles]
116
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,267
Ah.
117
00:04:42,354 --> 00:04:44,660
Hey, how's it going?
[chuckles]
118
00:04:44,747 --> 00:04:48,273
Hey, Butt-Head,
I'm, like, naked in a place
119
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,971
that, like,
chicks have been naked in.
120
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,668
Cool.
[chuckles]
121
00:04:52,755 --> 00:04:55,236
- Boing, oing, oing.
- [chuckles]
122
00:04:55,323 --> 00:04:56,629
Okay, okay.
[chuckles]
123
00:04:56,716 --> 00:04:58,544
- [slurps]
- Put these bad boys on.
124
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,632
[chuckles]
125
00:04:59,719 --> 00:05:02,635
[grunting]
126
00:05:09,903 --> 00:05:12,819
[slurps]
127
00:05:12,906 --> 00:05:16,083
[grunting]
128
00:05:19,957 --> 00:05:21,741
About halfway there.
129
00:05:21,828 --> 00:05:24,352
[grunting]
130
00:05:24,439 --> 00:05:25,658
Son of a bitch!
131
00:05:25,745 --> 00:05:26,833
[elastic snaps]
132
00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:28,443
[sighs]
Okay.
133
00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:30,010
[chuckles]
Here we go.
134
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,794
How do I look?
[chuckles]
135
00:05:34,058 --> 00:05:35,711
Uh, Beavis?
136
00:05:35,798 --> 00:05:37,931
Pretty sexy.
137
00:05:38,018 --> 00:05:40,368
[chuckles]
- Uh, Beavis?
138
00:05:40,455 --> 00:05:41,630
[chuckles]
- Yeah, I'd tap that.
139
00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,241
Yeah--ooh.
[chuckles]
140
00:05:43,328 --> 00:05:47,375
Uh, Beavis, it looks like
you don't have any nads.
141
00:05:47,462 --> 00:05:48,246
What?
What're you talking about?
142
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:50,552
Or a schlong.
[chuckles]
143
00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:52,206
No way, Butt-Head.
My schlong is right--
144
00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:55,514
[screams]
145
00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:56,732
No, what happened to my nads?
- [chuckles]
146
00:05:56,819 --> 00:05:58,604
I know they're in there
'cause these pants
147
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,085
are really making 'em hurt.
148
00:06:01,172 --> 00:06:02,825
Uh, you better take 'em off
149
00:06:02,912 --> 00:06:04,740
before any chicks see you, Beavis.
150
00:06:04,827 --> 00:06:07,265
That's embarrassing.
- [grunting]
151
00:06:07,352 --> 00:06:08,483
They won't come off,
Butt-Head.
152
00:06:08,570 --> 00:06:09,745
[grunts]
153
00:06:09,832 --> 00:06:11,399
My wiener's going numb.
[screaming]
154
00:06:11,486 --> 00:06:15,099
Just get ahold of yourself, Beavis.
155
00:06:15,186 --> 00:06:17,144
Hold of yourself.
[chuckles]
156
00:06:17,231 --> 00:06:19,103
I can't get 'em off.
Ahh!
157
00:06:24,195 --> 00:06:25,674
[grunting]
You gotta help me, Butt-Head.
158
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:29,287
These pants are cutting off
oxygen to my schlong.
159
00:06:29,374 --> 00:06:33,247
Hmm, we need to find a place
that sells schlong oxygen.
160
00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:34,944
No, we gotta find something
to get 'em off
161
00:06:35,032 --> 00:06:36,990
before my wiener dies.
162
00:06:37,077 --> 00:06:38,165
Damn it.
[grumbles]
163
00:06:38,252 --> 00:06:40,733
We just need to,
like, oil 'em up,
164
00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:42,778
and then they'll
just slide right off.
165
00:06:42,865 --> 00:06:45,042
Now just wait over there.
166
00:06:45,129 --> 00:06:48,349
I'll be right back.
[chuckles]
167
00:06:48,436 --> 00:06:52,353
Care to try our new
olive oils from Tuscany?
168
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,442
Okay, Beavis,
I got you some oil,
169
00:06:54,529 --> 00:06:56,749
and it has Tuscany in it.
170
00:06:56,836 --> 00:06:58,577
What's that?
171
00:06:58,664 --> 00:07:00,622
I don't know,
but it'll grease you up good.
172
00:07:00,709 --> 00:07:02,755
Open up your pants.
[chuckles]
173
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,588
It's not working, Butt-Head.
174
00:07:09,675 --> 00:07:12,286
That's 'cause you need
some muscle, dumbass.
175
00:07:12,373 --> 00:07:14,201
Hold on to that thing,
and let a real man do this.
176
00:07:18,162 --> 00:07:20,120
Uh, Butt-Head, Butt-Head.
177
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:20,947
Butt-Head,
I'm starting to slip.
178
00:07:21,034 --> 00:07:23,080
Hold on, dumbass.
179
00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:24,603
- I can't.
- Almost got it.
180
00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:26,300
No, Butt-Head.
181
00:07:26,387 --> 00:07:27,562
No, no, no--oh, no!
182
00:07:27,649 --> 00:07:29,173
Ahh!
183
00:07:30,739 --> 00:07:33,916
[screaming]
184
00:07:41,185 --> 00:07:44,188
[chuckles]
That was cool.
185
00:07:44,275 --> 00:07:46,494
[chuckles]
186
00:07:46,581 --> 00:07:48,496
[grunts]
187
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:50,150
I can't get up, Butt-Head.
188
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,892
Ow, ah.
[grunting]
189
00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:55,677
It just keeps going down.
190
00:07:55,764 --> 00:07:59,028
Uh, don't worry, Beavis.
I'm gonna go get help.
191
00:07:59,116 --> 00:08:00,247
Ow.
[grunting]
192
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:01,727
Going down.
[chuckles]
193
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,946
Oh, yeah.
[grunting]
194
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:05,470
Eh, but really, Butt-Head,
come on.
195
00:08:05,557 --> 00:08:07,863
Ah, ow, ah.
196
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,389
Uh, excuse me.
197
00:08:11,476 --> 00:08:13,130
We need help and stuff.
198
00:08:13,217 --> 00:08:14,087
What's the problem?
199
00:08:14,174 --> 00:08:18,047
Uh, my friend has no nads.
200
00:08:18,135 --> 00:08:21,921
[grunts]
Ah, ow, ah, ow, ah!
201
00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:23,618
Uh, he says he doesn't know
how to help you, Beavis.
202
00:08:23,705 --> 00:08:24,750
Damn it.
203
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:28,232
[grunting]
204
00:08:28,319 --> 00:08:30,625
Well, I'll see you at home.
205
00:08:30,712 --> 00:08:32,453
- [screams]
- Let me know how it turns out.
206
00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:34,542
[chuckles]
- Okay, see you later.
207
00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:35,935
Damn it.
208
00:08:36,022 --> 00:08:39,112
Ah, ow.
Ah, ow.
209
00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:43,812
[grunting]
210
00:08:46,598 --> 00:08:47,512
Ah!
211
00:08:47,599 --> 00:08:49,992
Damn it.
212
00:08:52,604 --> 00:08:55,259
[snoring]
213
00:09:00,394 --> 00:09:02,483
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
214
00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:03,963
[chuckles]
215
00:09:06,444 --> 00:09:07,662
[snoring]
216
00:09:07,749 --> 00:09:10,665
[coughs]
217
00:09:10,752 --> 00:09:13,364
[snoring]
218
00:09:30,772 --> 00:09:32,078
Chirp.
14842
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