Original subtitles

♪ MTV ♪

[both chuckling]

[rock music]

♪ ♪

So we know that the inverse angle is

the same as the-- [drill droning]

Beavis, what are you doing?

Uh, nothing. [drill drones]

You must have heard something else.

[drill droning]

Beavis, put your drill away before I confiscate it, mm-kay?

Yeah, Beavis.

Some of these dumbasses are trying to learn.

[chuckles] - Okay, yeah.

It won't happen again.

[sighs] Okay. So the inverse--

[drill droning]

Sorry, sorry. [chuckles]

I'm--I'm just gonna put it away.

[drill drones]

See? I can't even reach it. [drill drones]

Okay, go ahead. Yeah.

You were saying some angles or something.

[snickers]

[sighs] So the inverse angle is the same--

[drill drones]

Oh, sorry, sorry. I forgot.

[chuckles] It won't happen again.

He means it this time, sir. [drill droning]

I'm putting this in my desk, Beavis.

You can have it back at the end of the week, mm-kay?

[school bell rings]

Um, Butt-Head, how're we gonna get

the drill back?

[chuckles] - Uh...whoa.

I got an idea, Beavis.

We can go, like, hide in that box

until school's closed,

and then we can go get the drill.

Yeah, yeah. Good idea. Yeah.

[chuckles]

[chuckles] [both snicker]

This is gonna be cool.

- Scoot over. [chuckles] - We're beating the system.

When we get the drill back,

I'm gonna, like, drill holes in stuff.

[both chuckle] - Good idea, Beavis.

[chuckles] Drill. - [chuckles]

[both snickering]

What's going on, Butt-Head?

Uh, I don't know. [chuckles]

[both grunting]

Aah, aah, oh, aah. Ow, ow.

Aah, aah, aah, my eye. Ow, ow, aah, aah.

[grunts]

Glad that's over.

I think, like, a big truck went by or something.

That was really starting to piss me--

Ow, aah, aah.

Ow, aah, aah.

[clank]

Okay, Beavis,

it sounds like everybody's gone now.

Let's go check and see if the coast is clear.

[grunting]

Um, Butt-Head,

I can't get out of the box. [chuckles]

Uh, this sucks.

[chuckles]

[whispering] Hello, everybody.

It's... Gibi.

Welcome back to my channel.

I'm gonna start with... - What is this, Butt-Head?

A fairly simple item.

[whispering] It's called ASMR.

You know, this is, uh--

this is actually kind of relaxing.

You need to speak more quietly, Beavis.

Yeah, sorry.

[softly] This is kind of relaxing, Butt-Head.

You know what I mean?

[chuckles] Yes, I do.

It's putting me to sleep. [chuckles]

This is a baby pink--

I kind of like talking like this, Butt-Head.

I think I'm gonna talk like this for the rest of my life.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I bet chicks like it, too.

[chuckles] Ooh.

I didn't even think of that. [chuckles]

Hey, baby,

would you like to come back to my place?

I can talk even quieter than this.

You won't even know I'm in the room.

[chuckles]

Oh, yeah. [chuckles]

Boing. [snickers]

Not fully, like, color organized or anything.

[clears throat] Butt-Head...

listen, watching this video

is kind of giving me wood. [chuckles]

Uh, I don't need to hear about that, Beavis.

[chuckles quietly]

Butt-Head...

I think I might have to spank my monkey.

[chuckles]

Beavis, I am going to kick

the living bejesus out of you

if you try to spank your monkey.

I have to, Butt-Head. [chuckles]

It's the ASMR.

I can't do anything about it.

[chuckles] - This kind of sound.

Beavis, I don't want to hear about your boner, so shut up.

I'm trying to watch this ASMR.

Do not spank your monkey.

[soft clicking]

Butt-Head...

I think those magic markers are giving me a boner.

Damn it, Beavis, I'm gonna change the channel

if you don't stop talking about your boners.

Ooh, um--

Butt-Head, that, um--

that smack kind of made my scalp tingle.

Can you smack me again like that, just really gently?

Uh, no, Beavis.

[normal voice] What'd you say, Butt-Head? Aah!

[normal voice] Damn it, Beavis, you ruined everything.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

- Uh, help? - Help!

Help! - Hey, you buttholes,

open the box.

I think, like,

no one can hear us or something.

Damn it, Beavis, you got us stuck in here.

Yeah, sorry. [chuckles]

Hang on. I need to scratch my butt.

[chuckles] Damn it. [grunts]

Ugh, ugh.

Ah, there we go.

Wait, was that your butt or my butt?

[chuckles] - Uh... I don't know.

I think it might have been my hand, actually.

Beavis, you better get your hand

off whoever's butt it is.

Sorry, Butt-Head, I can't hear you.

My butt's in your face.

It's, like, muffling the sound.

[sighs] That does it, asswipe.

[grunting] - Ow. Cut it out, butthole.

[grunting]

[grunts]

Beavis, I'm gonna kick your ass all over this box.

Cut it out! Ow, ow. [grunts]

[grunting] Ow.

- [grunts] - Ow, ow.

[sighs] [chuckles]

You know, um, maybe we should just, like, get used

to living in this box, you know? [chuckles]

It's not that bad, really.

It's kind of growing on me, actually. [chuckles]

Beavis, I'm gonna kill you.

Maybe life is better in the box, you know?

Maybe we'll meet some chicks in here or something.

There's no chicks in the box, dumbass.

Well, not now, but, you know, like--

maybe if we were more outgoing, you know?

My head's gonna kick your ass.

[grunts] - Ow.

Ow. Eh, my butt! Aah! Stop!

Ow.

- [grunts] - Ow!

[both groaning]

I don't want to be in this box anymore, Butt-Head.

It sucks.

It's getting kind of hard to breathe.

[chuckles] Hard.

No, no, really, Butt-Head.

I think we're, like, running out of air or something.

We need to stop breathing so we don't run out.

[gasping]

Hey, stop. What are you doing?

I'm gonna breathe all of it, Beavis.

[panting]

Stop it, Butt-Head, come on.

Quit hogging the air.

Get your own air, dumbass.

No, I'm gonna strangle you to save air.

Damn it.

Quit moving your neck so I can strangle it.

Damn it, Beavis, stop strangling me.

Not till you promise to stop breathing air.

Never. [both grunting]

Whoa.

Butt-Head, look, we're free.

Whoa. Good job, Beavis.

Now all we gotta do is-- [both groan]

- Beavis? - Yeah?

You're a dumbass. [both chuckle]

- [grunts] - [grunts]

♪ ♪

Trees suck. [chuckles]

Yeah, I don't like leaves either.

[chuckles] They suck.

[chuckles]

Yeah, look at that.

He's grabbing his schlong in Spanish.

[chuckles]

[snickers]

Uh, these boy bands always have, like,

one really smart one,

one ugly one, and, uh, three other dudes.

[chuckling]

He's the smart one. [chuckles]

Are these guys, like, lumberjacks or something?

[chuckles]

We've come to chop down your trees.

And then we will make love to your women.

[chuckles]

Yeah, first I take your wood, and then I have wood.

[snickering]

[singing in Spanish]

Where are they anyway? [chuckles]

That looks like the woods back behind Pizza Hut.

Yeah, there are a lot of mosquitos back there.

[chuckles] I was back there once,

and a mosquito bit me right on my schlong.

What were you doing with your schlong out

behind Pizza Hut?

That part of the story's not important, Butt-Head.

[chuckles] - Uh...yeah it is.

You know, I was just, like,

spraying it with OFF!, you know?

Didn't work. [chuckles]

- Uh-- - Anyway, that's not important.

What's important is

my schlong itched for, like, two days.

And I tried to scratch it in class,

and everyone thought I was spanking my monkey.

[chuckles]

Uh...but you were spanking your monkey.

No, I was scratching a mosquito bite

on my schlong. [chuckles]

And then, you know, um, while I was in the area,

you know, one thing led to another.

You know, but, um--

but it was the mosquito's fault

that I was in that area in the first place.

Stupid bug. [both snicker]

Uh, Beavis?

There's a mosquito on your face right now.

- Really? - Hang on, hang on, hold still.

I'll get it for you. - [groans]

- [chuckles] - So did you get it?

Uh, wait a second. He's back.

Damn it, Butt-Head, you gotta hit harder.

Nope. It's still there.

[grunting]

He's a tough little fella. [grunting]

- Is it gone now? - Uh, no.

I know something that'll kill him.

[chuckles]

Uh, let's see here.

Uh, there it is. [chuckles]

This ought to work.

Now hold absolutely still, Beavis.

[chuckles] Don't move.

Are you gonna spray that on my--

[grunting]

- [chuckles] - Damn it, Butt-Head.

- [chuckles] - Not how that works.

Okay, class, Beavis and Butt-Head

have now been missing for a week.

If anyone has any info,

please contact the authorities, mm-kay?

On a lighter note,

we've covered an incredible amount of math

in the last week,

and we can finally start working at grade level,

which is why we've brought in these new textbooks.

Don't worry, everyone will get one.

Oh, my.

[both grunting]

[coughing]

[coughs]

Whoa.

- Where are we? [chuckles] - Oh, hey.

Hey, it worked. It worked, Butt-Head.

[chuckles]

I'll just go ahead and get this from you.

[drill droning]

[chuckles] That was cool.

[chuckles]