All language subtitles for Faintheart.2008.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Subtitle Modified by : SDR

In 1066 William the Conqueror invaded
the British Isles.

In four months his army had
conquered all of England.

Except one.

MERCIA, ENGLAND

Forward men, forward!

Come on. A little exercise!

You don't sleep here!
Here is marching!

Men take position, signs up!

- I can not believe it.
- That can not be...

- The guy never gets it.
- That can not be true.

Hi there? Sorry.

Just a minor incident.
But I promise you

- the fight will begin shortly.
- No Nonsense, I haven't forgotten that

I only had a few...
Sure, I'll be right there.

- Rich!
- Start without me.

They are amateurs.

The swords to the stop!

Forward!

Thorvard, the mighty.

Reddmund the Righteous.

Oddborg, the slim one.

Wulfstan, the bloody barbarian.

You said a full house.

If you don't do anything right here,
then go ahead and do it yourself, Geoff.

Gudmund Graubart Geoff.

We probably didn't start on time.
Geoff doesn't let us wear watches.

Please darling.
He didn't like me anyway.

Next time, I'm guaranteed to be on time.

So you're coming to my
mother's funeral as Genghis Khan?

You are and always will be my maiden!

The paint has chipped a bit
, I painted over the place.

Hey this is really great.

Don't worry, we can fix it.

It's not the first time that your
father has fallen from grace.

Come on now, Martin. You have to go to bed.

- Well then, dad.
- Sleep well.

- I wanted to be on time.
- He was my father, Richard.

- Cath...
- I can't go on living like this.

She can't be
mad forever, can she?

No, there are people
who are meant for one another.

You are like Kirk and Spock.

Except that one of you two is
a woman and obviously not a Vulcan.

Yes you are right.
Honestly, look at us.

Such are women.

- Oh yes?
- Nothing works for them without obligations.

- That's not a bad thing.
- Unless you're a lone wolf,

or a lost warrior, or a nomad.

I washed the doublet. Your chain shirt
is still hanging to dry in the hallway.

- Thanks, mom. - Good night, honey.
- Yes good night. - Sweet Dreams.

I will take it back.

- Live long and in peace.
- Live long and in peace.

- I don't want to go there.
- We all have to do things that we basically don't want.

- This is the way of life. Has all I need.
- Well, my boy.

- You must have been around right now.
- Right. Does anyone want to come along?

- See you later, Mom.
- Yeah, all right, honey.

- You look great.
- I look like a news anchor.

- Would you like me...
- No.

You don't even know what I wanted to ask.

- I don't feel like going out with you.
- I do not understand you.

- I don't want to go out with you, Richard.
- Just for a drink.

You just don't want to accept
the separation between us.

- I just want to have a drink.
- I have to go.

Thanks for taking it.

She will surely
come to her senses again soon.

Have you shown mom
our photo in the newspaper?

- Not yet.
- Show her. That's pretty cool.

- You can drop me off here.
- No, I'll drive you right up, no problem.

Here is good too.

- What is wrong with you?
- Nothing.

- Are the idiots still picking on you?
- Just let them talk.

Come on, never forget who we are.

- Dad!
- Hey who are we?

- We are mighty Norse warriors.
- Exactly.

And mighty warriors never give up.

They sail away with their
heads held high on the high seas.

Yes. Ready, Dad.

Don't let it get you down, my little one.

Sinotar a neweleugh!

- Oh God. Collin.
- It's my new battle cry.

Terrifying.

Set sail!

Why are you wearing a dress
Fags wear something like that.

This is not a dress.
It's a tunic.

Should you disagree, little fagot?

Hey What's going on there?

- Just kidding.
- Yes. Was funny.

If you two stink again,
I'll kick you both off the team.

Is that clear?
Come on. Disappears.

Now watch out: There are
two types of people in this world.

The winners and the losers.

Do you keep pushing you around

then they'll keep dancing on you
in the future.

He is your greatest enemy in the world.

He burned your fields,
he violated your wife

and he fed your cute children to
a pack of brutal starved wolves.

Mistkerl.

And everything you have left in
this miserable world

is your loyal sword that will lead you
to victory in this battle too.

Come on now, send him to hell.

I beg you guys. Concentrate.

Hey, rich. Your badge says...

- "Always happy to help."
- I thought it said: "I do the biggest crap while working,

- "even if I don't get paid for it?"
- That didn't go well.

How funny. When you're done
saving "Middle-earth".

A nice mess in the exhibition toilet
is waiting for your professional help.

Kim: Who would
win a fight: Data or Spock?

What a question.
These are logical beings.

Therefore, they would
never get involved in a fight.

Unless
we are in a parallel universe.

She-Hulk is one of those girls
you can steal horses with.

- Until she gets mad, she'll tear you apart in midair.
- What?!

Wonder Woman is
not so easily disturbed.

- What kind of nonsense are you talking about?
- That's the stupidest argument I've ever heard.

She-Hulk is what a one night stand.

- Wonder Woman is looking for a relationship.
- Many Thanks.

- You hear it there.
- What does that mean? The guy is exactly my opinion.

Kim: I like you.

He said you were wrong.

Okay, keep calm now.

Kim: I like you.
Tiberius: I like you too.

Tiberius: Shall we meet?

Kim: Okay.

They were hanged, burned, drowned.

Their eyes were gouged out, their
tongues were torn out of their mouths.

And what did they do?
They were women.

And they dared
to have their own opinion.

And that's why I love witches.

Thank you very much Emily.

George? Come
on up and show us your owl.

This is my owl. Her name is Bertie.

I just remembered,

when you started here
I was still going to school.

It's funny how time flies.

Totally funny.

Let's compare that to last year

it becomes clear that we were
able to increase profits by 15 percent.

Let's carry
these numbers over to the next year

you
will find something interesting.

Please go out with me.

Okay.

Hey, what are you doing?!

Hey kim
I never imagined you to be so pretty.

That's a pretty name
for a pretty woman.

Warp speed, Mr Sulu!

Accelerate! Yes!

Would you like to take part in the school
performance? We still have great roles available.

Do you wanna get famous.

Or do you just want to see right
through me?

Idiots. If you are not like
them, they will hate you.

Stupid. I am Martin.

- I know. We're in the same class.
- Yes.

Martin!

- Martin!
- Who's that guy in that car?

What are you waiting for my son.

Do you think the Visigoth hordes
destroy themselves?

Hey!

- But it seems nice.
- Please just go.

But first we have to...

Vince, if you a lady
would have to recapture,

where would you take her to?

I would like to fly into space.

I'll think about that.

The leader of the Saxons
has just been dug up.

There is still
hair and skin and stuff on him.

- Just have a picnic here.
- Good idea, my friend.

- But that wouldn't be for them.
- Just ask Mom what she wants to do.

No, I want to surprise you.
It should knock them off their socks.

She went crazy.
I would never have left you.

When the fire is out

only the first spark can help,
so that the flames come back to life.

Collin, you are
a fat, fat, hairy genius.

Come on you two. Come on!

Where?

- Bye!
- Dad, warte.

Hurry up!

- Tell me why you know women so well.
- I used to be one.

Excuse me, aren't you
the lead singer on Doomsday's Child?

Yes, I used to be.

You are the greatest, the greatest!

He had a red cannon with a belt.

He had a blue cannon
with a gold belt, a hundred each.

Definitely not a neutralization cannon.
It always has two trigger levers.

- It's even on the internet.
- What, it has two trigger levers?

I can't help either.
I didn't invent the cannon.

- In any case, the belt must be made of gold.
- This is too expensive.

- Oh, I don't care.
- The gates of Valhalla are closing now, people.

Either you go voluntarily or
you experience the courtyard to hell here.

- Is she there yet?
- No.

Hey come on That'll be great.

Yes. It's just a date, nothing else.

What do I do if she sees me
and turns around right away?

She doesn't do that. Because she
has a really great guy in front of her.

Julian, you are great and
you know almost everything about Star Trek.

The woman is very different from me.

She didn't even know
how Romulans disguise themselves.

- Not everyone can know that either.
- That does not matter.

But the emotional level
between us is really great.

- I hope she isn't ugly.
- Listen.

She's the lucky one here, and
if she sees it differently, let her go.

Come on.

Hey you! Get out.

Now. Leave us.

- Are you not Tiberius?
- Yes.

You wanted to meet me.

I am kim.

Kim.

Closed for private reasons
(unless your name is Cath)

The year is 1989.

The Berlin Wall falls
and the Ayatollah is dead

but the biggest event this year is

that two people meet.
For the first time.

Richard?

- Hi sweetheart.
- What's that supposed to be?

Everything looks exactly
like it did back then.

Julian and I had a bet that he would
n't get 10 coasters in his mouth.

Unfortunately he can't tonight,
but I should say hello to you.

And then I saw you
for the very first time.

I see
you really tried really hard.

I feel like

- romantic?
- Scary.

- I should rather go.
- No, please, honey.

You're welcome. Stay for a drink.

To us.

All right Kim,
you had burgers and fries.

Then there were three
more scoops of ice cream.

We drove around a bit.

Please, tell me now where you live,
then I'll drive you there.

And we forget this evening.

But you said
the evening will be unforgettable.

Well, I wo
n't forget him either.

- Kim!
- Look, here comes my mom.

- Kim, come here!
- Go ahead, wink!

Kim, honey. Get away from this man.

Come here kim.

It's a misunderstanding.
It's not what it looks like.

It took me forever to have
the courage to speak to you.

But when these guys sat down next to you.

Julian and I had to do something.

You got up and shouted: "Be warned,
you squires, the woman is mine!"

- They beat us up a lot.
- Yeah, that was tough.

- You took a beating.
- And then you got up,

and I just thought,
"I'll never see that woman again".

You stopped, turned around

and said: "If you want to kiss me,
now would be the right opportunity."

I can not. I can not do this.

- Richard, it doesn't work like that.
- Come on, honey. - No

- I'm sorry.
- Do not go!

Wait wait!

We are "Doomsday's Child"
and we kidnap you into horror.

They were there that evening.

They play especially for us today.

Cath, wait a minute!

How did you imagine
the evening tonight?

Did you think we're getting back together
because you're wearing your old clothes?

- Because you found that fucking band?
- I don't know, I...

I thought
if we turn back the clock again

we could rekindle the old
flame - What kind of flame?

What are you talking about?
I don't want to turn back a clock.

Okay, maybe it was a stupid idea.

Next time I'll come up with
something futuristic.

Paintball or something with lasers.

- That was done with us.
- What?

- I said we were done with.
- Never say never never.

I've got to know someone.
Another man.

I'm so sorry.

Tell him to
play with adults in the future, yes?

How did it go?

Such a damn shit,
damn shit, damn it!

I thought we were the couple that
would win every battle.

Little children would stand before us
and ask us if we are real Vikings.

We would say "yes".
And the children would be happy and then...

You have at least one ex.

I have to get to know one first,
then carry it out

and then break up.
Only then would I have an ex.

- That is still to come.
- Yeah, sure.

Believe me. When you meet
the right woman, you will feel it.

That's how I know it.

I am meant to be
all alone on this planet.

You are a good looking boy, Julian.

Any girl would be happy
if she had you.

Thanks mom.

Come on,
let's see what you can do.

Don't forget what we've learned.

Vince. Come on boy
now dare He won't hurt you.

Manno, not so tight.

- Get back on your feet.
- Oh man.

- There are fewer and fewer participants.
- But in the end it doesn't matter

how many people
you win the battle with. Important is,

that they show passion, courage
and that they can do something.

Your people are just dressed up.

Robert. Benny. What are you doing?
You are broadswords!

No, not anymore, unfortunately.

My men against your men.

If we lose, we
will lay down our sabers forever.

The fight would then be over for all time.

You're taking your mouth
full, my friend.

- Are you scared?
- No way.

It applies.

Men, get ready.

Kirk an Enterprise.

Can you see anything - negative.
Target has not yet been identified.

But there is a pretty nice car in
front of the house. He has to earn well.

And toll...

Hi darling.

- I can't believe you're spying on me.
- What?

No, I thought...
I just wanted... Oh, come on.

No signs of Cath or the enemy.
Repeat, target negative.

- It was his idea.
- How old are you? Ten?

No.

So here I am what do you want.

That new man with you.
Is that serious?

No idea.

- He is different.
- How do you mean?

- I do not know.
- What do you mean by different?

Do you really want to know?

He doesn't make promises
that he can't keep.

He only drives me to places that
I really want to go.

And he doesn't disguise himself as a
bloodthirsty Viking from the early Middle Ages.

You keep making the same mistake.
The Vikings lived 800 to 1100.

- Keep talking.
- We have fun. - We had that too.

In the beginning yes,
but then it always ended like this.

That you played soldier
and I was allowed to stay in a damp tent

- grill a plastic pig on a spit.
- If you'd rather have fought,

if I could have spoken to Geoff,
that would have been possible.

That's not the point. You always
refused to take responsibility.

The only thing you wanted
was to be Martin's best friend.

But it wasn't all bad. Or?

No, I agree with you.

But it's time to put an end
to the past.

- You can come back now.
- That will not do.

I'm stuck in a hedge.
Request assistance.

- Is that your girlfriend?
- No.

She won't if you
hang such strange drawings on her closet.

But I like to draw. And my father says
you should be true to yourself.

Listen, when it comes to women
you always need a strategy, kid. Pen.

If you present that credibly,
it will almost melt away in front of you.

It shouldn't sound like it was said.

And could the person who
made little "Spiderman" please

always next to the big "Spiderman" poses,
stop that? Because that's annoying.

And I'll tell you why too.

I'm on my lunch break
so I'll be brief.

What you did
was stupid and irresponsible.

- You shouldn't have brought him to the park!
- I wanted to take him home, but...

I am not ready yet.
I talked to Kim.

- I may have overreacted.
- It's okay, it could have happened to me too.

Fifty pounds?
I've seen the photo cheaper

signed by hand and there was even
a federation badge.

- Where? - At the Trekcon '06.
- At the convention? - Yes.

- I was the only Klingon woman.
- Oh, was that you?

- Have you never thought that a kid could like Star Trek too?
- No.

Not really.

Are you waiting. Would you like
to have dinner with me?

Doesn't have to be a lot.
Just something small.

Yes, ready.

Since I first saw you,
I've only been thinking about you.

You showed me what happiness means.

I beg your pardon?

- Is this dragon picture here of you?
- Yes.

- Pretty good.
- Thanks.

Will you take part in the
school performance? Great.

Today is your lucky day.
There's a delivery outside.

- No time, I already have plans.
- Clear. Then you'd better go.

Okay.

Unfortunately, I ca n't find your
vacation request anywhere here.

No. I forgot that.

OK, oh well...

If you leave anyway,
let's hope you keep the job.

I'll deduct that from your salary.

He who pulls the sword out of the stone
becomes the next rightful King of England.

- Martin, come on.
- What?

Hello darling, you did really well.

Take it easy, mom.

Hey, great armor. How did it go?

- I was really bad.
- I do not think so. - You weren't there at all!

I'll pick you up
for combat training, my boy.

I know what you're thinking,
but I can't help it.

You are
really trying hard with me, but

this is not me.

- That means?
- Well, this one.

And your plate looks
like the sputum from John Hurt's stomach.

So I think you feel the same way.

I order the invoice.

We could still go to me. I have
the "Next Generation" Limited Edition Box.

Like the one in the Borg Kubus packaging?
Do you have the Borg cube?

- Yes.
- I love you.

- What?
- I'd love to.

Toll.

It may be
that the guy has a red sports car.

- Yes.
- And he may have more money too.

But what about the fantasy?

- It doesn't have any.
- And where the fuck is the romance?

- Correct. - I proposed to my Cath in the woods.
- Very good.

- We should discuss this again first thing in the morning.
- Yes, that's enough now.

- You sure are tired, aren't you?
- Actually already.

The two are meant for each other.

Well then I'll retire now.

- Are you serious? Prefer Whorf to Riker?
- Yes.

He is so strong and determined.

We should start first thing in the morning.

He knows exactly
when to talk and when to act.

In my eyes he is the perfect man.

But you know it's all a hallucination

- caused by the fluctuation...
- of the plasma flow in the warp core of the Enterprise.

- Materially, you could say that she made a good catch.
- And?

From a material point of view,
he has everything you need.

- And don't tell me he's sitting with your wife now?
- Stop, ex-wife.

- This is not good.
- That bastard. - Do you still love her?

Yes what do you think.

Well then what are you waiting for?

Then go there
and show this sick dog

what Nordic steel can do.

- Slit open his stomach.
- And then spear his eggs and he has to eat them.

And!

I don't think you would want
to do that again, do you?

- With me.
- Yes, I would like that.

But with me is bad.
I live there, but there was enough...

Say something hot!

Hot, very hot.

No, say something in Klingon.

Klingongo ma!

Say something else.

- Echa loga clamallan summer va.
- Komm her.

Sir, I challenge you to a duel!

For life and death.

Richard? Richard!

Where is he? Come out!

- You act like an idiot, you better go home.
- This is my home.

And I'm the man
who will always fight for your honor.

I'm the hero
you've always dreamed of.

- Is there any problem?
- No, all good, all good.

- This is the PE teacher.
- Look, my friend.

I understand you're upset,
but that's no solution either.

Maybe yes...

What's going on here mom - Nothing
at all. Come on, off to bed with you.

I am impressed.

A long, long time ago there was a tribe

- where the very name caused fear and horror in the opponent.
- And do you have?

Was?

- So don't.
- Keep your mouth shut.

Of course we did it. What
do you think All night long.

And here they come!
"The bloody broadswords"!

But wait, Gudmund Graubart.

The gods whispered to me that
another warrior is hiding there.

One who is so strong and brave

- that later legends will grow up around him.
- Legends!

- Come forward, young Wolfgard.
- The gay one, that's cute.

Applause for our youngest Viking.

But we can't let the boy
go to war like that, can we?

- No.
- No.

Now you look
like a great Nordic warrior.

Let's see if you fight like that too.

But that hurt, terrible Wolfgard.

Martin.

Martin.

Who ever wanted to
hold a live owl in their hand?

- Martin.
- Get out of here.

- I'm really sorry about last night.
- Leave me alone.

- It's all your fault.
- How do you mean?

If I didn't always have to walk around like
an idiot, it would never have come to that.

- I thought you liked this.
- Don't, okay?

I hate this stuff.

Why didn't you tell me that Martin!

Because you can really feel sorry for you.

You have a shitty job, crazy friends
and mom is screwing my stupid gym teacher.

- But I am your father.
- So what? Who wants that! I hate you!

- Leave him alone for a while.
- It's really none of your business.

I guess so.
Cath is really great, isn't she?

It would be best
if you went underground for a while.

No he is my son.

Oh yes, and he
was really proud of it.

No, you can keep taking care
of your strange friends and all.

I'll clear this up here.

Some call her the ghost owl.

That's because
it can fly almost silently.

- And she would never just fly away like that?
- No.

Telepathie.

- What's going on there?
- I come with.

Mr Hardy won't like that at all.

Mr Hardy misses my ass!

Richard!
What are you fucking doing?!

- I'm opening a new chapter here.
- Oh yes? - Protect him, men!

You will be sorry for that.

Rich, are you okay my friend?

But that could have gone wrong...

We used to be up here a lot and
played Robin Hood and Little John.

- Yes.
- No, I meant me and Martin.

- I don't want to lose him too.
- You are a good father.

You will not lose him.

- For sure?
- Yes.

I don't even know my father.

According to mom, it was William Shatner.

And that he left us
to discover other galaxies.

Yes.
You told the whole class that.

I'm just saying
you're not William Shatner.

You are here and you love Martin.

And you will get to grips with that.

All right. You have the first strike.
But I'll give you a tip. Hit it right.

Come on, come on, hit me.

Imagine if I was Danny or Pete or
whoever and I want to blow you away.

Come on hit me
Come on, you fagot.

What was that?

No wonder they've got you covered.
You hit like a little girl.

Come on.

Good Excellent. Not bad.
All right. And now a combination.

Better, harder.

Well, now with a little movement.

Sorry.

- To Odin.
- To Odin. - To Odin.

To Odin.

Listen up, comrades.
If we want to hit Alan's men

we should be prepared. Combat training
will now take place three times a week.

- I Agree? - Yes.
- Yes.

I think so.

I can not.

- Why not?
- Martin says he's being ridiculed for me.

But all guys dream of being
Vikings.

- Martin probably not.
- And you just give up?

A real Viking
would never give up so easily.

I don't know how to tell you, Geoff.

But we are not real Vikings.
You're a stairlift salesman.

You work in the garbage disposal.
And none of us know what you're doing.

- I see myself right now...
- And you still live with your mother.

- What do you mean by that?
- That nobody cares

whether Olaf became
the White King of Dublin,

or whether the Vikings
really had horns on their helmets.

- What about Alan?
- And our audience? - What are you talking about?

Vince, there's never an audience.
Nobody cares about us.

We are a laughing stock.
It's time to grow up.

It's strange
giving flowers to another man.

I don't know if you can hear me.

But I'm sorry I
was late for your funeral.

And I'm sorry
Cath and I got this far.

And that I didn't notice
that Martin is no longer a small child.

Even if we may
never have been best friends...

But you're the father of the woman I love.

I should have tried harder.

I wanted to tell you that.

Would you have talked to him
when he was still alive.

- Barbara, I was just about to leave.
- You are welcome to stay.

I managed to clear everything
up with him during my lifetime.

May I help you?

- I still think you're a fool.
- I know.

- Didn't know he had so much clutter.
- You didn't know a lot about Frank.

The man could spend hours here.

Thanks.

- You know we never liked it that Cath married you.
- No Seriously?

You could have said that.

- I always thought that she deserved better.
- I feel the same way.

I just wonder where
your fighting spirit is.

At least that was a sign
that you were a backbone moron.

And Martin needs his father.

Even if he has someone like you.

This can go to Caritas
and the rest to the trash.

Frank has
always cherished his porn.

- See you later.
- See you later.

- What are you doing here?
- Your mother sorted out things from your father.

You were with my mother - Yes.

There's an archery trophy in there.

- It's a little rusty, but...
- Unbelievable that he saved it.

- Where did you find that.
- In the shed. - In the porn shed?

It's not a lot, but
it should be enough for the headlights.

Oh yeah right Thanks.

- Is Martin okay?
- Yes, as far as yes. Everything OK.

And Gary takes care of you?

Did you really
leave The Broadswords?

Yes, I thought it was time to
get into reality.

Dare to do it.
We still have a few places available.

Yes, dear ladies,
come to the Vikings.

Yes, Madame.

Come on, learn how to fight with us
. Anybody?

Die - Just wait. In the
next galaxy, I'll sit on your back.

Come. I don't want to stand in line with
sweaty idiots all day.

- Do you want to come with me, rich?
- No, just go.

Julian! You forgot your cuddle.

- Extra without border.
- Thank you Mama.

Are you still living with your mother?

Goodbye Goodbye.

Warp speed, Mr. Sulu.

- How long have you been skateboarding?
- It's been forever.

- What is written there?
- Is not important.

My father is a nutcase.

Why did your father
demolish Mr Hardy's car?

I do not like him either.

He once hit my sister in a
disco. And she's seventeen.

- What? My father, really?
- Mr Hardy, you idiot.

- I see.
- Are you still doing those Viking battles?

No. Only idiots do that.
I'm out of there.

That's stupid. Otherwise
we could have gone there together.

See you.

Can you repeat that?

- Can I work overtime?
- No, in the middle part, this "please".

Can I please work overtime?

Once again.

Hello my big one. What's up?

- When are you fighting again?
- No no no no.

The number has done.
I do what all fathers do now.

Well, something like fishing.

- Dad, Dad...
- Martin, I'll never embarrass you again. I promise.

- But I want you to do that.
- You want something?

When the next fight
comes up, I'll go there with Emily.

Who is emily.

He'll call later.

After work.

- Give that back to me.
- Or what?

What are you doing here?
Don't you have to be at school.

Martin? Who was that, Martin?

Gary said if I fight back,
leave me alone.

- Come here.
- Dad, just leave me alone.

Come here.

Is fine my boy.

Is good.

Aisle seven has to be mopped.
Aisle seven has to be wiped.

Aisle seven has to be wiped.

- Where are you going?
- I'm unleashing hell.

And!

Nonsense. He is my son and
it is your duty to take care of him!

I want
something to be done right now.

Otherwise I'll be here every day until
you finally do something. Is that clear?

- Is that clear?!
- Yes.

Come now.

You just really surprised me.
That was really great.

- What does that change?
- No, I'm serious.

The last time I saw you so angry
when you looted this Saxon village.

I was just waiting
for you to kill him with your broadsword.

- Oh shit.
- What is?

- No.
- I'm sorry.

It has to be here somewhere.

I call you Thor,
please stand by, Odin gives us strength.

- What are you doing there?
- I call the gods of Asgard,

so that they can
help us in this dark hour.

And. And!

I was wrong.

When we go out on the battlefield
we're not just a bunch of guys

who dress up as Vikings.
Well, basically yes.

But we are more than that.
We stand for the children,

who always wished to be Robin Hood
, or King Arthur or Captain Kirk.

We are heroes,
we are Vikings, we are men.

And that's why
we will be by far the greatest

perform bloodiest and most
devastating battle this city has ever seen.

Alan's bunch won't know what's
happening to him.

- That's it?
- From my side, yes.

Only now have I realized
how important this is for all of us here.

- Look her in the eye and then say it.
- I'm serious.

I am very proud to be able to call
myself a "broadsword".

Yes, I have let you down.

But we'll finish Alan.
I know we can.

Are you there?

- Martin.
- Come on what are you waiting for? - Hop in.

Let's fight!

Faster at a distance, guys.
Yes very good!

Up, down, up, down.
Come on. There's more to it.

Not so lame!

THE FIGHT THAT ENDED ALL FIGHTS

What's going on here,
isn't that a little faster?

Come on. Catch. And again.

THE FIGHT THAT ENDED ALL FIGHTS
This Thursday.

There are still tickets
for the big fight on Saturday.

- Yes I am an animal.
- Here, two more free tickets for you.

Here, you have to take good care
of it. It's from the old days, my boy.

- And what did she say?
- Who? - Your mother.

- You still haven't told her you're moving out, have you?
- Not yet.

But I do. Maggie, come on.

- "Bombdl lwwlj qaqaw."
- Lass mich.

- See you later. You look great.
- Thank you, Cath.

- Kim, you have to go to bed.
- Good night. - Night, Kim.

Sleep well.

- It is cold. Come sit down by the fire.
- I just drove over to Martin's girlfriend quickly.

- I can not.
- Come on, just a moment.

But only to say hello to Martin.

- He grows up.
- Yes. And so quickly all at once.

- Is that your dress.
- Yes. She looks pretty, doesn't she?

- When was the last time I wore this?
- Corfe Castle, Midsummer Night 2003.

And you were the
prettiest girl in the whole kingdom.

Well, I'm going now, I have to...

Cath. Come on. Just a moment.

Ten minutes okay?

- Hey guys!
- Come on, there is dancing here!

Look who we got there?
Come here, beautiful maiden.

- Hey Julian! - Cath.
- How are you?

No I don't wanna dance I can not do this.

Na, the.

You never move out with your mother,
you stay there all your life.

I'll tell her, okay?

But I have to be careful,
this is a painful breakup.

- I'm just wondering for whom?
- What do you mean by that?

Let me know
if you decide to grow up.

Gary, I'm not sure
where to start.

I know my dove, I know.

The relationship between us
is something very special.

It may sound cheesy, but...

When you stood in front of me for the
first time, I knew you were the real deal.

Until I met you
, I didn't even know what happiness was.

Look, I think
we're not doing very well.

I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt you.

You break up with me.

Do you know how many single,
frustrated mothers are after me?

Quite a few.

You look really pretty good.

But deep down inside
you're pretty ugly.

Dear ladies and gentlemen.
Boys and girls.

Northmen and women.

I warmly welcome you
to a fight of the highest quality.

I ask you
not to try any of this at home.

A long long time ago,
two armies met.

Men, go forward!

Here comes
the second most powerful army ever!

The Normans.

Go home.

Disappears!

Men, stand still!

Now I'm looking forward to their opponents,
the Nordic warriors of noble origin.

Hide your gold
and take care of your daughters.

Because now come to us: The Vikings.

And!

Dad! Finish them off!

Hey, Julian!

- Are you all right, darling?
- Sign!

High!

- High!
- Only one victor can emerge from this battle.

Swords!

- Odin! Odin!
- Odin! Odin!

Come on!

The!

Come on!

Come on, Vikings! Show what you can do!

Slap his legs off!

Kill the Normans!

Saber his head off!

Do it all!

Come on men!

Dove please listen to me.

- Gary, this is really not the place now to...
- Why not?

Hey Stay away, you wretch. Clear?

It's okay, Richard. I take care of it.

- Yeah, get out of here, go play with your little friends.
- No.

You disappear - Fuck off!

Are you attacking an unarmed man?
But that's not very heroic.

That's supposed to be a joke, right?

My world, my rules.

Alright.

Are you hurt?

Better sit down there.

Take off, kid.
Otherwise you will still hurt yourself.

Leave her alone.

- Cath?
- Come on, we're going home.

Now you let your wife and
child fight your fights for you.

I hope you all saw this.
So you are Vikings in reality.

You are a bunch of sad losers who
get nothing in normal life.

Keep your fucking damsel.
She's just an old slut anyway!

Richard!

I forbid you ever to talk about this woman like
that again. Because she is beautiful, lovable

and funny.
And incredibly beautiful.

She deserves
to be treated with respect.

It's good.

This is our hero!

Dad!

And!

That was great, dad!

Bravo!

The dead are hereby allowed
to rise again!

- Mom.
- Yes, my darling.

I'm living with Maggie from now on.
I love her.

I am a grown man and
nothing and no one can prevent that.

- Is that true?
- Yes.

Thank God.

I thought my little lout would
never move out with me.

Cath. Ouch. Why do you hurt me?

Do you
want Martin to visit you in the hospital?

Nobody should speak badly of you.
I want that you are happy,

but not with him.
He's a PE teacher, Cath.

- Richard, I...
- No, I love you.

I love you. I will take you back.
No matter how long it will take.

- Would you listen to me.
- Yes I will.

- From now on I am responsible and...
- Shut up!

You are stupid
and very childish and exhausting.

But if you feel like kissing me
, now would be the right opportunity.

Dad! Dad!

Where are you?
The group photo is on. Come on.

- All are waiting.
- Come on. - It's fine, honey.

- Are already on the way.
- Hurry up!

- Wait, we're coming!
- We're coming.

- Wait!
- Hurry up!

- Always the same with Richard.
- Where have you been?

So, is everyone finally ready?
So, all over again.

One two Three.