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1
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[funky music playing]
2
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,040
Look at this shit.
3
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,800
Back to its former glory.
4
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,560
Like a phoenix from the flames.
5
00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,240
Oh, my God. Tyler's play.
Fuck! What time is it?
6
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,600
Where's them dickheads? Oi, oi, Ash?
7
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,360
- Cardi!
- Shit.
8
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:28,880
What the fuck's going on?
9
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,480
- Nothing.
- Well, why is all that out?
10
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,119
- What you watching?
- Not doll porn.
11
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,640
It has to stop.
Last time I am telling you.
12
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,216
["Money (That's What I Want)" playing]
13
00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:37,520
[Cardi] Idiot. We got caught.
14
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,440
♪ The best things in life are free… ♪
15
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,880
[Vinnie] Two wheels in the sand here,
we're late!
16
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:43,920
I said we would be.
This is your fucking fault.
17
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,720
- [Cardi] Stop worrying, we'll make it.
- [Vinnie] Honestly. Fuck me.
18
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,040
[Tommo] This play better be fucking good.
19
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,400
[Tyler] Who will help me dig the earth?
20
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[lamb] I won't!
21
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- [cat] I won't!
- [pig] I won't!
22
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:56,960
[Tyler] I'll do it myself.
23
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,800
- Who will help me plant this wheat?
- [boy] I won't.
24
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,240
- I won't!
- I won't!
25
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,080
Fucking hell. Flat! Fucking pig.
26
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:07,880
[Tyler] I will do it myself.
27
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,200
Who will help me water these seeds?
28
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,480
- I won't!
- I won't!
29
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- I won't!
- That fucking pig. He's really…
30
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- He's good.
- [Tyler] I will do it myself.
31
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,080
[audience applauding, cheering]
32
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,320
All the pupils of year three
have all made a special card,
33
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,440
- to show how much we love…
- [children] You.
34
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,800
They each have a special message inside
for the people we love.
35
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[applause]
36
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,280
- Daddy. Daddy.
- Oh, thanks, buddy.
37
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:45,880
That's lovely.
38
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Come here and give me a love.
Oh, you are getting heavy.
39
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,040
- [Tyler] Mummy.
- [Erin] You were so bloody good.
40
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:56,240
[Vinnie] Who was the pig?
You were a lot better than the pig.
41
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,440
I thought the pig was lacklustre.
42
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,920
Ashley, what's going on?
Are you all right?
43
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:05,600
You might wanna put that out.
44
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:06,800
- Sorry.
- It's a school.
45
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:08,880
It's just my father.
46
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,000
I've been thinking about him a lot,
since Mammy went back to Ireland.
47
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:14,600
All this, like…
48
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,880
I never had any of that,
let alone the people in the seats.
49
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,840
Do you miss him?
50
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:22,360
Not Daddy, no, not that arsehole.
51
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,080
My actual, real dad.
52
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,400
Yeah?
53
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,480
Look at me, lads,
I don't look anything like the others.
54
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,960
Mammy was adamant. Every time I asked her.
55
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,000
We all had the same dad. Daddy.
56
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,240
Fucked if he's my dad.
57
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,560
'Cause she'd have to admit
to having an affair.
58
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,920
Yeah, but I don't care.
Sure, I'm a grown adult, like…
59
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,320
I don't care what she did.
60
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,120
Hang on.
61
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,440
We were gonna tell you at the pub tonight.
62
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:54,960
Er, me and Carol, 'cause…
63
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,080
- we're getting married again.
- [all exclaim]
64
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,280
Niall is gonna be there.
65
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,200
He knows all the family secrets,
doesn't he?
66
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:06,920
So, we could just, like, ambush him
and get him to tell you the truth.
67
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,280
That's a fucking good idea.
68
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,680
Niall, he gets really weird,
anything to do with my mammy.
69
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,520
Now, listen, there isn't a day goes by
70
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,240
where I don't think about my mum
leaving me, man, honestly.
71
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,680
She's out there somewhere.
72
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,960
I mean, if you find your dad,
he could be a massive knobhead,
73
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,960
but at least we tried, you know?
74
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,160
- Yeah? Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
75
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[gentle music playing]
76
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Go on, sod off.
77
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[slides door shut]
78
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:43,960
[sighs]
79
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,240
You're still his Uncle Dylan.
80
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,960
You are just as important to him now
as you ever fucking were, man.
81
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:54,600
I know.
82
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,160
What the fuck's going on with you?
83
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,240
I'm fine.
84
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:03,680
Fuck off.
85
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,960
- Talk to me.
- I'm fine.
86
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,160
I… [scoffs]
87
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:11,760
I dunno, I'm just…
88
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,760
I dunno, just, it feels like…
89
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:21,440
you've got something I had.
90
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:23,800
You know?
91
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,200
I was kind of his dad, you know, and now…
92
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:29,400
- You're still his family.
- I'm not his dad. I'm not.
93
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She got rid of my kid,
94
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,840
and I know that sounds
like a fucking broken record,
95
00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:40,520
but it's hard, all right?
It's fucking hard
96
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,680
- to forgive her for that.
- Yeah.
97
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,920
You know, I just…
It's some sort of irony.
98
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,800
You know, stop shagging round and just,
99
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,640
you know, find someone
I can have a life with, because…
100
00:04:57,280 --> 00:05:00,240
You're right. You do need
to sort yourself out. I agree.
101
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,240
But I am telling you now, man,
102
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,560
with no agenda at all,
that fucking boy adores you.
103
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,440
Do you understand?
104
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:13,040
That card there is for both of us.
It's not just mine, man.
105
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,520
Now stop having sex with random strangers.
106
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,120
You're gonna get chlamydia.
107
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,840
- Again.
- Give me a love.
108
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,960
[laughs heartily]
109
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,120
♪ You don't have to say you love me ♪
110
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,080
♪ Just be close at hand… ♪
111
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,960
To Carol and Cardi!
112
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- [all] Cardi and Carol.
- [all cheering]
113
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,680
Hang on. It doesn't mean we've gotta steal
another wedding, does it?
114
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I can't do that again.
115
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No. We're keeping this one real simple.
Registry office, booze up,
116
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,520
then a honeymoon
on Three Eyed Pete's barge.
117
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[Tommo] Three Eyed Pete?
I thought he went to prison
118
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for flashing his knob on the towpath.
119
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,160
He did, it's why the barge is available.
120
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,360
[all laughing]
121
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,320
- Congratulations.
- Thanks. Second time lucky, innit!
122
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,320
Does he get a plus one,
for the wedding reception?
123
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:56,840
Er, yes, certainly. Yes.
124
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I'm only joking,
unless you want me to come.
125
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,680
I'd love to. I do love a wedding.
126
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,760
He'd love you to come with him,
he's just brutal at talking to girls.
127
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,680
Great. Well, look forward to it.
128
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,040
All right, you. Fucking hell.
129
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,600
[all whooping, cheering]
130
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,200
Stop wooing me, dudes.
131
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,800
She's into you something fierce, Vin.
132
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,080
No. No.
133
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,640
It just feels a bit inappropriate
134
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,360
going to a wedding for a first date, dude.
Very intense.
135
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,600
Niall's on his own over there.
Will you talk to him?
136
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,840
♪ You don't have to stay forever ♪
137
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,320
♪ I will understand… ♪
138
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,400
- All right, Erin.
- All right, Mick.
139
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,360
I hear you and Dylan aren't together.
140
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,440
You heard right.
141
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,840
Well, you're in luck.
I'm single, as it goes.
142
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Bird I was seeing
pissed off to Whitley Bay.
143
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,920
Right. Why Whitley?
144
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,360
God knows. Must have fancied
moving down South.
145
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:50,960
It's up north, near Newcastle.
146
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,360
- Is it?
- Yeah.
147
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:55,920
Bitch said it was on the east coast.
148
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,720
It is. It's north-east.
149
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,520
North-east?
150
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,120
- [song ends]
- [all applauding]
151
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,840
Didn't know the north-east had a coast.
152
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,720
[all cheering, applauding]
153
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,560
[mimics Elvis] Thank you very much.
154
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,760
Here he is, big lad. How are you keeping?
155
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,600
- Hi, Vinnie.
- You're looking well.
156
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:14,520
Quick chat.
157
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,720
Been a bit worried about our Ashley.
He seems down in the dumps.
158
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:19,800
Anyway…
159
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I think I've found out why. It's his dad.
160
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,520
- What about him?
- He's wondering what's going on.
161
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,040
He knows he don't look
like the rest of yous, you know.
162
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,040
Not the same da as the rest of us?
163
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,520
Let's be grown-ups.
He's mixed-race, isn't he?
164
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,680
- Vinnie, you're talking shite.
- I'm not.
165
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,440
- He's fucking definitely mixed-race.
- That's enough.
166
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,760
Niall, he is not bothered,
he's not angry, or owt,
167
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:42,520
he just wants to meet his real dad.
168
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,000
You're saying my mother had
an extramarital affair?
169
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,280
Is that what you're suggesting?
170
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,960
That my mother cheated
on her loving husband with a Black man?
171
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He didn't love her.
172
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,640
He used to press his dick
up against the bus window,
173
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- remember...
- How dare you? How dare you?
174
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,680
- Niall!
- [Mick] What's he said?
175
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,040
- What have you said?
- Nothing.
176
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,360
- [Ash] Niall!
- Let me hit him.
177
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:01,640
I've already hit him.
178
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,240
Ring caught me on the lip.
179
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,840
Not standing here,
being insulted by this baldy bastard.
180
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,440
- Sorry. I didn't mean to upset anyone.
- [punches]
181
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,000
[groans] Oh, you fucker.
182
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,920
- Prick.
- That's just… Fuck me.
183
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:14,640
Fucking lip and dick.
184
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,760
- How did it go over there?
- I got hit, twice.
185
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,160
I need to be sick.
186
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:20,720
[coughs] See you at the wedding.
187
00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:38,240
[screams]
188
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:39,840
- Erin!
- [Erin screams]
189
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,520
It's only me. I'm free.
190
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,440
Jah rastafari. Yes, blessed I am.
191
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,640
- You stupid fucking bastard.
- What, did I scare you?
192
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,040
♪ Oh, Danny Boy ♪
193
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,960
♪ The pipes, the pipes are calling… ♪
194
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:02,960
Ash.
195
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,880
You're my brother, right?
No matter what, you're my brother.
196
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,680
But you know the rules.
We don't go delving into the past. Okay?
197
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,200
You didn't get that from me.
198
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,240
[over phone]
You're shit in a bucket, Anthony.
199
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,080
- That's what we call you, isn't it?
- Yeah.
200
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,360
Shit in a bucket!
201
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,200
I've heard what you've been saying
202
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,200
about your lady fighting me! [laughs]
203
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,080
I don't know. What's the deal?
204
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,200
Why did Niall tell us
to visit your Auntie Pat?
205
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,680
- Don't think that's your dad?
- I thought about it.
206
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:51,840
You think I look like him?
207
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:52,800
Man, come on!
208
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,280
You're fucking shit in a bucket!
209
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,640
I don't fucking know.
I mean, Tyler's my little lad.
210
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,160
Do I look anything like him?
211
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,360
- No. No. No.
- Exactly.
212
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,520
He's a terrific-looking boy. He is, yeah.
213
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,080
Well, he is, in't he? That bone structure.
214
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,800
- That's all his mum.
- I was a cute baby. Everyone said.
215
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,640
Everyone said that, did they? Everyone?
216
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,400
Dickhead, listen to this.
217
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,920
Ashley, I was involved
in a very prestigious award at Hawley fair
218
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,160
when I was 12-months-old.
219
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:20,680
- Guess what the award was.
- Go on.
220
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,600
Beautiful baby competition, it was.
I won the fucking thing.
221
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:26,600
- No way.
- Now, who told you that, eh?
222
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:29,480
- Huh?
- Obviously, you can't remember it,
223
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:31,720
so who told you?
224
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,080
- My dad.
- Your dad told you?
225
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:36,120
Yeah. Because he gambled,
and I'd have a go at him.
226
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,960
He'd say, "Shut up, Vincent.
You've gotta be in it to win it."
227
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,400
"Look at you, and that…"
228
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,080
You and that beautiful baby competition.
229
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:47,160
- Just fuck off, dude. Shit.
- [laughs]
230
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,240
Shit.
231
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,280
["Time Hard" playing]
232
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,080
♪ Everyday ♪
233
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,440
♪ Things are getting worse ♪
234
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,640
♪ Everyday… ♪
235
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:56,720
[Erin] Ronnie.
236
00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,120
Right, sit up. Here.
237
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,320
[grunting] Come on, Erin,
238
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,160
can your brother not just get
the sleep he needs?
239
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,720
Sit up! It's burning my hand.
240
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,280
- Fucking hell. For God's sake.
- Now.
241
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:08,760
[snorts]
242
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,480
- That's an all right brew, that, Ezzo.
- Mmm.
243
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,680
- You're still a Buddhist, I take it?
- Buddhist?
244
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,760
Oh, come on, Erin.
245
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,840
Labels, man. Labels. Labels.
246
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,080
I've had enough of them.
I've had 'em all my life.
247
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,080
- Mmm.
- People go, "Oh, Ronnie, he's rubbish."
248
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,560
- "Ronnie is fucking thick."
- Well…
249
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:30,000
"Ronnie is a feckless, violent,
aggressive thief."
250
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,360
You are all them things.
251
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,200
That… I was, Erin.
252
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,840
W to the O to the S. Was.
253
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,960
- So, what I'm gonna do is…
- Go on…
254
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,400
I'm gonna prove to you, Erin, that I can…
255
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,280
I can make a go of things.
256
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,320
Turn things around
without having to resort to like, erm…
257
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,640
- What's the fucking word?
- [clears throat]
258
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,400
Rather than kicking
someone's head in and taking the money.
259
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,880
- How are you gonna do that?
- Easy. Get a job.
260
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,080
Yeah.
261
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,080
Earn money, legit vibes,
262
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,240
and then fuck off to Ireland and hook up…
263
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,600
- Remember Donal McGuinness?
- The extortionist?
264
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,400
Not any more.
He runs a guest house in Cork.
265
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,440
He's looking for a fucking sous chef.
Ah-ah, hello.
266
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:07,720
And that's you, is it?
267
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,480
I'm a fucking whizz with the wok.
268
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,000
When I was inside,
everyone called me Ronnie The Wok.
269
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,560
Yeah, Ronnie Wok Wok.
Ronnie, go chop chop.
270
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,280
Foo Young Croft, they called me.
271
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,600
Char Sui Ronnie, big style, yeah.
272
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:22,160
I'm turning, I'm turning,
I'm turning over a new leaf.
273
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,160
- There you go. Well done.
- Thank you very much.
274
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,560
- Okay. All right. You can't stay here.
- What?
275
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:27,880
Right. One,
276
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,000
- I've got a paying lodger.
- Shugs.
277
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,240
Yeah. Two, I got an eight-year-old
that doesn't need the bad influence
278
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,920
from his lazy, thieving uncle, that's why.
279
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,760
So, who's got a fucking spare room then?
280
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:43,000
Do I look like a fucking halfway house
281
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:45,240
for the waifs and strays of society?
282
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,440
Bleeding heart liberals
chucking open their doors
283
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,360
to every daft cunt with a sob story!
284
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,480
[mimics sobbing]
285
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,680
Oh, they had a bad upbringing.
286
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,920
Oh, they were molested
by their Uncle Philip.
287
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,080
Oh, they've got, erm, connection issues.
288
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:04,960
Fuck off!
289
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,040
They're selfish, robbing twats,
290
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,080
never done a decent day's work
in their lives.
291
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,360
And you can send as many
fucking theatre workshops
292
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,520
as you like into prisons,
293
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:18,520
they're not gonna come out
quoting Romeo and cunting Juliet!
294
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,040
Is that a yes, or a no?
295
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:23,320
Argh!
296
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,480
[rock music playing]
297
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:29,600
[imperceptible]
298
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,360
Go on!
299
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:38,920
[imperceptible]
300
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:41,920
Christ.
301
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:43,800
I know how he feels.
302
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,800
That there, that's how life
is treating me at the moment.
303
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:48,880
Argh!
304
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,640
[rock music continues]
305
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,400
- Shame.
- Hmm.
306
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,240
- [Ash] Hard luck there, Auntie Pat.
- Hey, all right, young Ashley.
307
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:08,640
I didn't see you in the crowd.
308
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,600
Too busy hiding behind my hands.
309
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,400
- [laughs]
- Good man.
310
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,120
Remind me.
311
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,280
I'm Vinnie.
312
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,440
I was that big last time you seen me, Pat.
313
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,200
Tommo. We've not met.
314
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:20,400
Ah, you look familiar.
315
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,240
Didn't you run the Rat and Cutter?
316
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,280
Hey, hey, hey,
that is fake news, pal, that is.
317
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,720
I still run it. I'm the proprietor.
I'm the fucking visionary, mate.
318
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,640
Yeah, last Christmas party,
didn't you play one of the horny elves?
319
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,560
[Vinnie clears throat]
320
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,240
[laughs silently]
321
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,240
Is he all right?
322
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,760
Yeah. Yeah. Sensitive.
323
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,320
- [Vinnie] Here he is.
- [Tommo] Brews up.
324
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,600
- [Ash] Thanks, Auntie. Thank you.
- No problem.
325
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:46,720
Go on, get that down you.
326
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:47,920
[Tommo] Nice one, mate.
327
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,000
Now then,
328
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:50,920
what are you all doing here?
329
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,040
I'm sensing this isn't
just a social visit.
330
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,720
[Vinnie] Not really, no.
331
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,680
Let's just come straight out with it.
332
00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,600
His mam is saying that Der…
333
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,480
- Diarmuid.
- Diarmuid is his real dad, right?
334
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:08,480
Same as his brothers,
but that can't be true, you know?
335
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,600
We've come to you
to see what you know, man.
336
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:11,920
Why me?
337
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,880
[Ash] You were around
when we were growing up.
338
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,480
You know Mammy well.
339
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,400
- She was no saint.
- She liked the dick.
340
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,880
- Okay.
- [Auntie Pat] Don't we all, eh?
341
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,120
I'm not gay, but I'll suck dick
now and again.
342
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,120
And I like wearing dresses, you know,
343
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,880
but I wouldn't want my langer cutting off
like that sex-change lot.
344
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:28,960
[all] Mmm.
345
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,480
I knew this guy from the community
had surgery,
346
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,400
and when it finished
he asked for his… her balls back.
347
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:35,720
Had them set in a paperweight.
348
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,120
I said, "Why a paperweight?"
349
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,120
"When does paper ever blow away?" [laughs]
350
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,040
Fair point.
351
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,840
She says she sometimes
works in the garden,
352
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,400
it can get windy, so I said,
353
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,120
"I'll build you a bigger fence,
make it a sun trap."
354
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,120
The thing with Dad...
355
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,000
Beautiful garden. You should see it.
356
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,960
She's got Campanula muralis.
It's dead hard to grow.
357
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,760
- Forms this dense mat of green foliage...
- Pat, Pat, Pat.
358
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:58,000
Sorry, bredren, I'll stop you right there.
It sounds like a sick garden,
359
00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,920
but you might be a bit concussed, lad.
360
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,480
Ah! I won't know for a while yet.
361
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,560
Listen, Pat,
362
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,840
you're essentially part of the family.
363
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,200
You were always drinking with Daddy,
364
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,480
or having the craic with Mammy,
dancing around in the kitchen.
365
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,080
There were nights where you'd sleep over.
366
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,680
- You see what I am saying?
- Oh, son.
367
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,360
I wish I could help.
368
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,040
I know she used to like to have affairs.
369
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:27,360
Her little comfort flings,
as she used to call them. [laughs]
370
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,280
[grunts]
371
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,120
But who with, I don't know,
372
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,800
and which, if any, is your real dad…
373
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,320
- No bother.
- [Auntie Pat] Sorry about that.
374
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:39,320
Right. Gents, on that note,
I am having a slash.
375
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,800
Knock yourself out, horny elf.
376
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,960
Come on, you lot,
let's talk about something happier.
377
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,280
It's private. Put it back.
378
00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:17,440
There's something in them albums
he doesn't want us to see.
379
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:18,359
Like what?
380
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,440
Photos of him and your mum together?
381
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,760
Or a photo of him as a young lad,
30 years ago,
382
00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:25,000
looking a bit like yourself.
383
00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:27,839
Right, lads, we need to get
those photo albums.
384
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,440
[brakes screech, handbrake crunches]
385
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,120
- [Cardi] Vin?
- What?
386
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,600
[Cardi] What about the barmaid?
387
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:42,120
[both singing]
♪ Vinnie and Sammy sittin' in a tree ♪
388
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,480
♪ K-I-S-S… ♪
389
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:44,760
Very mature.
390
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,560
Stuck on K, love? [laughs]
391
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,680
Listen, hey, I like her.
392
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,400
I'm terrified. Fuck's sake.
I am not used to girls liking me.
393
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,760
Last pair of knockers I saw
were Big Sandy's,
394
00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:00,120
and she had… She had rigor mortis.
It was still standing up.
395
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,800
Are you proper into her then?
396
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,320
Yeah, I am actually.
397
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,560
It's a worry though, man, you know.
398
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,200
Oof, is that Pat? That is Pat.
399
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:08,960
Oi, what have you to do?
400
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,160
Er, follow him.
401
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,560
Make sure he doesn't come back early.
402
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,640
Correct. And you follow him at what?
403
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,680
- Subtle distance.
- Good lad!
404
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:20,800
Right, now listen to me.
405
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,080
He's probably going to the boozer.
Get yourself a pint.
406
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,520
- All right?
- [Cardi] Is that all?
407
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,600
- Sod off!
- [Cardi] Bye.
408
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:26,760
Cardi.
409
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,720
[Cardi sarcastically] Tenner. Great.
410
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:31,800
Get your shit together.
411
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,360
Ashley, what do you think they'll do
if we get caught?
412
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,640
[Ash] If any travellers do catch us,
they'll just cut off our toes.
413
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,200
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
414
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,600
- [man] Who goes there?
- Shit.
415
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,280
- [man] Is there someone back there?
- Fuck.
416
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:54,680
[Tommo miaows]
417
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,280
[miaows]
418
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:02,480
[man] Fucking cats.
419
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,720
[singing] Memory…
420
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,080
He's fucked off. That worked.
421
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,320
You wanna hear my baby lamb?
422
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,360
No. Another time. Come on.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
423
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,440
[mumbling, cursing indistinctly]
424
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:22,640
[Vinnie] I didn't know
you were going there, you idiot.
425
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:23,720
Shit, dude.
426
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,400
My fucking appendix, dude. Jesus Christ.
427
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:30,480
[mumbles]
428
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,800
…fucking walnuts.
You been going to the gym?
429
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,800
You're feeling very lean yourself.
430
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,240
We were worried about you
for a while there.
431
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,440
- Shoes.
- What?
432
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,560
We've just broke
through the fucking window.
433
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:45,000
This is Auntie Pat's house.
Have a bit of respect. Shoes!
434
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,080
Christ, mate.
435
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,800
["You Ain't The Problem"
playing over stereo]
436
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,360
♪ I hope to find who I believe in ♪
437
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,880
♪ Get back in line
I can't deny myself… ♪
438
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,080
Fuck it.
439
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,360
[Vinnie] Blood and sand,
look at this, dude.
440
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,000
[Ash] We've got something here, man.
441
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,800
Look at the state of that.
442
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,720
- [Ash] What is it?
- It's Auntie Pat
443
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,200
having a smooch up with your mammy
444
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,360
and a selfie before selfies
were even fucking selfies.
445
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,040
Don't get carried away, right.
It's just a kiss.
446
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,520
You kiss Cardi, don't you?
Friends kiss friends.
447
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,440
- What I'm saying is, all it is, is…
- Playful.
448
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,040
- Oh!
- Okay, that's summat else.
449
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,240
Stop. They're my mammy's boobs
you're looking at.
450
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,600
Not just the boobs, sweetheart.
451
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,680
Bloody hell, it's like an angry badger.
452
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,680
- [Ash] I came out of that.
- It's full…
453
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,120
How? Did you have a machete? [chuckles]
454
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:44,880
[slurps]
455
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,160
[giggles]
456
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,520
[chuckles] Go on.
457
00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:58,760
Oh, fuck.
458
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,120
[softly] Hello?
459
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:19,320
Oh.
460
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,240
No, no, it's not what it looks like.
461
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,400
There's flashlights in there, Pat.
462
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,080
- Will I come in there with you?
- Yeah, come with me.
463
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,320
Will I bring my nunchucks?
464
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,120
You might as well
now they're in your hands.
465
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,080
Don't fucking move,
or I'll take your fucking heads!
466
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,640
- Ashley.
- Yeah, Pat.
467
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,880
- Argh, you bleedin' know them?
- I do.
468
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,680
But I don't know why the fuck
they are in my fucking caravan.
469
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:51,800
Can we explain?
470
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,960
Fair play to them
for taking off their shoes. Respect.
471
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,000
I'm not proud of myself,
but, yeah, me and your mum, we…
472
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,200
We had a thing. What more can I tell you?
473
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,560
Life happens.
474
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,720
But I can tell you this, hand on heart,
475
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:11,600
I'm not your daddy.
476
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:14,360
How's that then?
477
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:18,480
I ain't got no seed.
478
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,280
I found out years ago
when I was with my Martha.
479
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,200
It's probably what tore us apart
in the end.
480
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,320
That and the dick sucking.
481
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,080
Mmm.
482
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,880
That's it then, isn't it?
I'm never gonna find out.
483
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,600
Shit, man. Maybe it's for the best.
484
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,360
Maybe we ought to let
sleeping dogs lie on this one.
485
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,880
If it's any consolation,
I don't see my parents, either.
486
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,920
Mainly their decision, but, er…
487
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,880
[inhales deeply] I'm good with it.
488
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,720
Actually, there is one thing
you could try.
489
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,440
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Your brother Niall.
490
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,240
- Yeah?
- He knows all the family history.
491
00:22:58,320 --> 00:22:59,480
[Vinnie] We tried.
492
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,960
He punched me in my fucking lip
and Mick clipped my dick.
493
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,920
You know what he's like.
Get him off his face.
494
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,720
Years ago, we had this Easter Egg hunt
for all the kiddies.
495
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,080
We thought, "Let's jazz it up,
make it a bit more interesting."
496
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,160
So. we had an Easter ecstasy hunt,
right? [laughs]
497
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,200
Thousands of pills all over the site.
498
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,480
Your brother Niall,
well, he found too many, didn't he?
499
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,280
The stories he was spewing
out of his mouth, oh, my good days.
500
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,680
Fair enough. We need to slip him an E.
How the fuck…
501
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,520
If you can get him to an event,
502
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,360
somewhere where you can spike his drink.
503
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,240
Sorry.
504
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,880
Sorry, guys. Sorry, I…
505
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:40,280
Cardi's wedding.
506
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:42,280
Yeah. Cardi's wedding. Yeah.
507
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,560
[singing] ♪ When you feel so clean ♪
508
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,400
♪ And the soap smells serene ♪
509
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:56,240
♪ And you step right into a… ♪
510
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:57,960
[reggae music playing]
511
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,200
What the fuck are you doing?
512
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,560
[Ronnie] What the fuck
does it look like, Jim?
513
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,520
You're fucking pleasuring yourself.
514
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,680
And if you are, don't!
515
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,720
You think you can tell Ronnie Croft
what to do?
516
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:14,120
Look, if I want to wank, Jim,
I'll wank myself into oblivion, mate.
517
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,520
I'll be like a fire hydrant.
518
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,120
I'm two rooms away.
519
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,920
I don't like the idea that you're in here,
520
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,880
whazzing yourself off
to fucking bukkake, or gonzo,
521
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,440
or whatever disgusting shit
that you're into.
522
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,320
- Bukkake? Bukkake?
- Don't play the innocent with me.
523
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,160
I've no idea, mate, like, none.
524
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,240
- The woman's on her fucking knees…
- Yeah?
525
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,720
…and two blokes
are jetting themselves off all over her.
526
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,360
[both laughing]
527
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,400
You seem to know
a fucking lot about it, son.
528
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,320
I'm a man of the fucking world.
529
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,840
I'm an Englishman,
with an Englishman's brain.
530
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,880
- And an Englishman's...
- Taste in porn, go on.
531
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:50,920
I am not standing here, in a towel,
in my spare room
532
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,360
discussing bukkake with the likes of you.
533
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,000
I'm off to a wedding bash.
534
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,640
Woah-woah-woah!
Just fucking woah, Jimberee.
535
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:00,080
What wedding? Which wedding bash?
536
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,720
Nosey shot the crow.
537
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,560
- [chuckles] Fuck!
- Aah!
538
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:06,240
Come on.
539
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:08,480
[cheering]
540
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,720
["Hallelujah, I Love Her So" playing]
541
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,080
♪ She's my baby and she lives next door ♪
542
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:14,080
♪ Ah, yeah ♪
543
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,440
♪ Every morning 'fore the sun comes up ♪
544
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,720
♪ She brings me coffee
In my favourite cup ♪
545
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,600
♪ That's why I know
Yes, I know ♪
546
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,120
♪ Hallelujah, I just love her so ♪
547
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,240
♪ When I'm in trouble
And I have no friend ♪
548
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,320
♪ I know she'll go with me
Until the end ♪
549
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,440
♪ Everybody ask me how I know… ♪
550
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:36,520
Oh, fuck.
551
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,960
♪ I smile at them and say
"She told me so" ♪
552
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,960
♪ That's why I know, oh… ♪
553
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,040
Well…
554
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,360
Frosty the Snowman upstaging the bride.
555
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:45,440
[laughs]
556
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,200
- You look amazing.
- You too.
557
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,880
You scrub up really well, don't ya?
558
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,680
That's fucking… "Scrub up really well."
559
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:52,320
Relax, Vin.
560
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:55,320
Cool.
561
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,800
We might get on, we might not.
562
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,816
We're two people who like the look
of each other, going to a party.
563
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,800
- Mmm-hmm.
- Come on, get me pissed.
564
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:04,680
- He the best you can do?
- [Vinnie] Shit.
565
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,160
Mental weed dealer.
566
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,080
Samantha, this is Carl Slater.
567
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,720
He, er, went to school with me,
didn't you, mate?
568
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:13,240
Detective Slater.
569
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,240
Carl Slater as in "Carl Slater bums dogs"?
570
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,160
[Vinnie] The very same. Yes.
571
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,240
Don't get too attached, Samantha.
He's going to prison soon.
572
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,840
And that's a promise, not a threat.
573
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,760
- [tyres screech, car stalls]
- Oh.
574
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,480
Oh-ho-ho!
575
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,560
- Oh, dear God. [laughs]
- [engine starts]
576
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,240
He's struggling.
577
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:38,760
- Oh, dear.
- Do you know what I mean?
578
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,440
["You've Made Me So Very Happy" playing]
579
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,840
♪ You touched my very soul ♪
580
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,600
♪ You always showed me that ♪
581
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,720
♪ Loving you was where it's at ♪
582
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,280
♪ You made me so ♪
583
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:54,720
♪ Very happy ♪
584
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,240
♪ I'm so glad you ♪
585
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,200
♪ Came into my life… ♪
586
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:08,840
["Boys" playing]
587
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,080
Make sure Niall doesn't take
the wrong glass.
588
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,120
Ashley, do I look like an amateur?
589
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,760
I've been spiking drinks
since you were in short trousers.
590
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,680
Think on,
it is in the special glass.
591
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,600
I'm just saying,
who collects your rubbish?
592
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,880
Who fixes your fucking streetlights?
593
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:32,280
You might not use the schools,
or like the fucking police
594
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:35,520
but that doesn't mean
you can't pay your taxes.
595
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,960
Get away from me
before I punch you in your stupid mouth.
596
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,160
Ha! Violence, you see!
597
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,720
They say it's a cliche,
598
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,960
but you fucking travellers
solve everything with…
599
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,040
Ah! Fuck!
600
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,600
- Prick! Oh, thanks.
- Hey, hey, hey.
601
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,760
Fucking hell.
Your sister went and necked it.
602
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,640
What did I fucking say?
603
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,200
You better have more, Tommo.
604
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,760
Ashley, I have got enough
to sink a fucking camel.
605
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:01,760
The point is I've wasted it
on your sister.
606
00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:05,880
Hi. I'm Erin.
607
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,000
- Samantha.
- Hi.
608
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:08,920
You're Tyler's mum?
609
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,640
- Yeah.
- He's gorgeous.
610
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:12,720
You run this place, don't you?
611
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:14,840
Yeah, yeah.
612
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,880
Well, it's a means to an end.
613
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,320
- Bigger plans and all that.
- Yeah.
614
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,200
I thought it shut down.
How did you get it open so quickly?
615
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:26,320
Er, just sorted the licence and stuff.
Yeah, not a big deal.
616
00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:30,520
Must cost a bit though, running a club.
617
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:31,600
How do you afford it?
618
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:34,680
I got a bank loan.
619
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:36,760
- ["Levitating" playing]
- Yeah!
620
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,200
Aw, for fuck's sake. Excuse me.
621
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:42,560
Lads, Champagne.
622
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,360
Down the hatch
and let the good times roll.
623
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,880
- Didn't you used to run this place?
- I still do, you prick.
624
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,360
♪ If you're feeling like you need
A little bit of company ♪
625
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,160
♪ You met me at the perfect time ♪
626
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,000
What the fuck are you doing here?
627
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,640
I'm a pleasure magnet, Erin.
What do you expect?
628
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,960
I am a party popper, 2-4-7, 3-6-5.
629
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:01,960
Do you know what I'm like? A moth.
630
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,720
I'm like a fucking moth.
I'm drawn… [whistles]
631
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,240
- like a… What are they drawn to?
- Flame.
632
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,760
A flame? It's not a flame. Is it a flame?
633
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:10,840
- It is.
- Stupid pricks.
634
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,040
They burn themselves.
No wonder they're like that.
635
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,120
Yes, often.
636
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,976
- You're a moth aren't you, Ronnie?
- All right, dickhead?
637
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:17,840
Hiya, mate.
638
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,040
Listen to me now.
639
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:20,880
Do not make a nuisance
of yourself in here.
640
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:23,200
- I'm not gonna make a nuisance...
- I'm being serious.
641
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,680
Yeah, I'm being deadly…
Is that a fucking fella in a dress?
642
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,240
Oi! Oi! Oi! You keeping…
643
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,040
Knobhead.
644
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:31,600
You can say that again.
645
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:33,760
Knobhead.
646
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,600
[dance music playing]
647
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,720
[growls, laughs]
648
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,560
[clears throat] Sorry there, erm,
649
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,200
I couldn't borrow him for a moment?
650
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,000
Yeah, be my guest. Need a pee, anyway.
651
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:56,640
- Showtime, Vin.
- Huh?
652
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:57,960
- Showtime.
- Shit.
653
00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,160
- Where is he?
- There.
654
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,480
Fucking hell. He's off his head.
The strength of that gear.
655
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:03,920
I had some last Christmas,
656
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,720
tried to get my trousers off over my head.
657
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,800
Just give it a go, will you?
Oh, here, now.
658
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,800
Fucking hell. Shit, dude.
Hey up, Niall, big lad, oi.
659
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,240
Come have a spliff with me, dude.
660
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,040
[kisses loudly]
661
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,800
- I'm twatted.
- All right.
662
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:18,920
- So fucking twatted.
- Yes. Ouch!
663
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:21,400
Fuck!
664
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:34,120
Ah, Vinnie. Vinnie, come here to me.
665
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,160
I'm sorry I was a twat in the pub.
666
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,920
No, it's okay.
Cardi told me what you said.
667
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,400
Not a day goes by you don't think
about your mammy walking out.
668
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,640
She should be ashamed,
leaving you behind like that.
669
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,520
It's all right. It was a long time ago.
670
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,200
No. She hurt you so much.
671
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,920
She broke your heart
and my mammy's heart, too.
672
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,680
- Eh?
- She loved him, Vinnie.
673
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,840
I know she was married,
but, oh, God, she loved him.
674
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,400
- Who did she love?
- Tyrone.
675
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,440
- Who's Tyrone?
- Tyrone Carver.
676
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:10,440
He worked on the fairs.
He was a beautiful man.
677
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,120
He's the one that gave her Ashley.
678
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,120
I don't understand. How's…
679
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,960
How's my mum broke your mum's heart?
I don't get it.
680
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:20,680
- She stole him.
- What?
681
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,280
Your mammy stole Tyrone Carver
off my mammy.
682
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,680
And I… Your ma,
I know she had her bothers, Vinnie,
683
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,240
but she was beautiful,
and fun, and she turned his head.
684
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,440
My ma couldn't complain,
because she was married,
685
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:32,760
but Vinnie, she loved him.
686
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,040
My mum, my mum, yeah,
687
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,040
she ran off with fucking Tyrone Carver?
688
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:40,520
- And that's Ashley's dad, isn't it?
- Yeah.
689
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,040
Yeah? Where the fuck did they go?
690
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:44,560
On the road. With the fair.
691
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,240
And then word come back
now and again about them, rumours.
692
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,640
But then she got the word
that he'd died. Heart attack.
693
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,280
What the fuck? What about me mum?
694
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,840
Oh, she… She came back, too.
695
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,040
She was working in a bar
up in Crossley Mere.
696
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,720
What do you mean,
fucking Crossley fucking Mere?
697
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,400
It's 20 fucking mile away!
698
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:06,280
Why have you never told me this? Eh?
699
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,000
You were better off without her.
700
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:09,640
Even Mammy said the same thing.
701
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,240
What kind of a woman
leaves her child like that?
702
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,720
She broke you in half,
she'd only do the same again.
703
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,160
No. No. Shut up.
You fucking shut your mouth.
704
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:18,400
You don't understand.
705
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:22,720
I've been waiting for my mam
to come back for me, and she never did.
706
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:24,840
And you've fucking known about it,
you have.
707
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:26,600
You've known, and Mo knew.
708
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:28,560
You never said a fucking thing to me.
709
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,240
- Who else knew?
- Nobody else.
710
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:35,040
No one else knows. Just you lot.
You're fucking unreal. Fuck!
711
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:49,080
Hey, where's Vinnie?
712
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:50,160
He left.
713
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:52,640
I think.
714
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,120
["Juice" playing]
715
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,480
♪ Gotta blame it on the Goose ♪
716
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,080
♪ Gotta blame it on my juice, baby ♪
717
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,216
- Fucking hell. That's all right, innit?
- [sniffing]
718
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:03,240
Right, can I just…
719
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,280
I'm blown away by you,
and this, and all that,
720
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,520
your fucking open-mindedness
and everything.
721
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,320
I've got loads of questions. Can I go?
722
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,200
- Sure.
- Quick fire, Ronnie style, yeah?
723
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,440
[sniffs] Fuck me. Right. Are you ready?
724
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:15,200
- Are you trans?
- No.
725
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:16,680
- Do you like men or women?
- Both.
726
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,400
- Can I have some cocaine?
- You had some.
727
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:19,840
- Are you happy?
- Yeah.
728
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,560
Fucking wicked, man.
I'll sit down. I can't feel my legs.
729
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,400
Know what I mean? I'm happy you're happy.
730
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,160
That's what it's about. Being out there.
731
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:27,960
I've opened my mind. Do you wear knickers?
732
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,080
I do actually. Tell you what,
733
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,000
best thing I did, wearing women's clothes.
734
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:35,360
I would not change it for the world.
Funny thing is I just love the pants.
735
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,800
Safe. Safe.
736
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:39,760
Safe.
737
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:41,160
♪ That's how I roll ♪
738
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,000
♪ If I'm shinin'
Everybody gonna shine… ♪
739
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,240
- [mobile phone rings]
- Oh, sorry.
740
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,880
- Vinnie?
- Erin, I… I need…
741
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:52,600
I need you to come to the shack.
742
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:54,320
Why? What's happened? What's up?
743
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,920
I can't. I need to lock up
and take Tyler home.
744
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,360
Just… Fuck.
Just come to the shack. I need you.
745
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:00,760
Okay. All right, I'm on my way.
746
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,800
Shugs. How pissed are you?
747
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,040
- What?
- How pissed are you?
748
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:07,440
Fairly.
749
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,239
Do me a favour and take Tyler home, yeah?
750
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:11,280
- Yeah.
- Thanks, mate. Thanks.
751
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:14,639
Tommo, lock up.
752
00:34:17,199 --> 00:34:18,199
Did you see that?
753
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:20,560
Did you see the way she speaks to me?
754
00:34:20,639 --> 00:34:22,199
No. No. No. No. No.
755
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:25,280
I will be dragged into the gates of Hades
before I do that wench's bidding.
756
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,960
Dido said it, right, now I'm saying it,
757
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:31,639
"I will go down with this ship,
I won't give myself up and surrender."
758
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:33,360
Just lock the fucking club, Tom.
759
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,400
Fair enough.
760
00:34:42,159 --> 00:34:43,159
You've got to go.
761
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,520
- I can't.
- Vin, it's 20 miles away.
762
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,080
You need to see if she's still there.
763
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,719
- Why, though?
- Because she's your mum.
764
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,000
She's a mum who walked out on me.
765
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,320
She left me with an alcoholic man
for some fucking bloke she met.
766
00:34:58,400 --> 00:34:59,320
That's not a mum.
767
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,800
But you said she had mental health issues.
768
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,200
I just can't believe it.
769
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:06,960
I can't believe she's back.
770
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,320
Working in a bar
20 minutes up the fucking road.
771
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:13,680
I'll come with you.
772
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,400
- Thanks, but, no, I can't.
- Vin, she's Tyler's grandma.
773
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,320
Yeah, and she lost the right to that
the moment she fucked off.
774
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,040
She walked out on her son.
She doesn't care.
775
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:30,200
Fuck. I've just never been able
to understand it my whole life.
776
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:32,920
Why she left.
777
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:34,600
People do, Vin.
778
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,240
People with problems leave everyday.
779
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:41,240
Because they're so unhappy,
780
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,880
or they think
everybody's better off without them.
781
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:48,840
Maybe she's scared.
782
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,360
Maybe she wanted to come back
and she wanted to see you,
783
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:54,960
but she was, you know,
784
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,880
she was worried
that you might hate her or reject her.
785
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,640
Maybe… Maybe it breaks her heart,
786
00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:04,800
but she's had to parcel it away, you know.
787
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:07,560
Vin, you don't know.
788
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,040
This has been hanging over you
since you were seven-years-old.
789
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:14,480
It's made you the person you are.
790
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:17,920
It's meant that you've never left
this town.
791
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:24,560
I don't wanna hate her.
792
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,320
I like her like this.
793
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:31,200
A lady in a photograph.
794
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:39,120
- I'm not going.
- You are.
795
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:46,680
Oh, fuck.
796
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:48,960
Oh, Jesus Christ, Cardi.
797
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,800
You're a fucking animal in the scratcher.
798
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:52,480
Oh, fucking hell.
799
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,520
It's after given me
the awful horn now, though, like.
800
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,920
- What about we go for round two?
- Yeah. Definitely.
801
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:02,080
Can I just have two minutes to reload?
802
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,480
Maybe we should watch a bit of porn,
get us in the mood again.
803
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:07,600
I've got the perfect thing.
804
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:09,000
- Ah.
- Oh, yeah.
805
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:10,080
- Ah.
- Do you like that?
806
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:11,240
- I do.
- Enjoying that?
807
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:12,320
I am.
808
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,280
From one porn actor to another,
happy wedding, Carol.
809
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:16,720
We love you.
810
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,640
Oh, that's lovely.
811
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:21,840
Thanks.
812
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:23,920
- Shall we crack on then?
- Come on.
813
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,520
["The Whole Of the Law" playing]
814
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,960
♪ I used to have the notion ♪
815
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:33,440
♪ I could swim the length of the ocean ♪
816
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:39,040
♪ If I knew you were waiting for me ♪
817
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:47,840
♪ I used to have the notion… ♪
818
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,640
Right, we've passed two pubs
and a grotty wine bar,
819
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:54,360
if she is still working here,
odds are in our favour.
820
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:57,520
What will I say?
821
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:00,840
[man] This your mum?
822
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:01,920
Yeah.
823
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:03,760
You look like her.
824
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:04,840
Oh.
825
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,840
- She's less bald.
- Right.
826
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:11,960
I mean, to be fair,
that's a lady isn't it? So…
827
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,160
My Aunty Jean's bald.
828
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:16,760
Alopecia.
829
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,160
On VE Day, we drew a Union Jack on it.
830
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:21,800
I've got a photo.
831
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:24,600
Get it out.
832
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:28,040
No, sorry, not here.
She looks sort of familiar maybe,
833
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:29,840
but I don't really know her.
834
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:31,720
All right. Thanks, anyway.
835
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,840
- All right, cocker.
- Can I show you this photo here?
836
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:37,080
I'm looking for a lady.
837
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:40,760
So, her name's Andrea,
and she'll be a lot older than that now.
838
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:41,960
You see.
839
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,080
I think she worked
behind the bar at some point.
840
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:45,560
You don't recognise her, do you?
841
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,640
There's, erm,
there's a Cassandra, and a Maggie.
842
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:54,280
Hmm, do they look like this lady,
Cassandra or Maggie?
843
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:58,160
- Not really.
- Okay.
844
00:38:58,240 --> 00:38:59,600
Sorry to have bothered you.
845
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:01,960
What can I get you?
846
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,640
Can we ask a quick question, please?
847
00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:05,240
- Question?
- [Erin] Yeah.
848
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:06,640
What am I, Tourist Information?
849
00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:08,560
Buy a drink, you can ask what you like.
850
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,080
Can we have two halves of lager?
851
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,320
Halves? What are you, homosexual?
852
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,200
How does that make me a homosexual?
853
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,280
It's a known fact.
854
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,400
Just like they can't swim,
or shoot a firearm.
855
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,040
Can't play snooker,
they can't fix a moped,
856
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,680
- they can't throw a frisbee...
- Can't tame a unicorn!
857
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:25,440
They're fucking useless at it.
858
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:28,360
What a stupid fucking list,
you daft, old bigot.
859
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:29,920
- Get the fuck out.
- I will do.
860
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,760
- All right. okay. We're going.
- Hey, hey...
861
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,160
- No, Vin...
- Just let me…
862
00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:35,200
I've just gotta ask him. I'm fascinated.
863
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:36,600
I'll never understand it.
864
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,280
How does it affect you?
865
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,560
- One man sucking another man's dick?
- Sucking another man's dick?
866
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,120
I'll suck your dick!
I'll bite the bastard thing off.
867
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,120
[scoffs]
868
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,880
What a bizarre thing to say,
given the conversation we've just had.
869
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:49,800
[laughs]
870
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,760
Show your face here again,
I'll shove this up your arse!
871
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,200
And not in a good way.
872
00:39:58,360 --> 00:39:59,360
[Erin] There you go.
873
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,320
I've ordered us a bacon butty as well.
874
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:03,480
Something to cheer us up.
875
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:07,800
Maybe she weren't here long.
876
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,960
Maybe she came back,
then she moved away again.
877
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:13,760
Yeah, maybe.
878
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:18,800
We can keep looking for her.
Go from shop to shop. Ask everyone.
879
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,120
It don't matter. Honestly.
880
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:28,360
Nothing'll ever hurt
as bad as when she left.
881
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:32,440
I had to protect myself. And I have.
882
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:33,880
It were just…
883
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,640
Fuck. I'm a dad, now. Grown-ass man.
884
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:40,840
I have Tyler.
885
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,520
If he got hurt, and I couldn't help…
886
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:47,920
Or if I could never see him again…
887
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,760
I think it'd probably break me in half.
888
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:54,200
[sighs]
889
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,280
That's a lot of pressure, that, Vin.
890
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:01,680
Of course I don't wanna hurt you,
891
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,320
but I can't promise
we'll be around forever.
892
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,040
You know the way I feel about you.
893
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:10,880
What about Samantha?
894
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:12,640
That thing you whispered in my ear,
895
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:15,560
before they put me in jail,
896
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,120
Number 12. You want sauce with them?
897
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:19,200
[Vinnie] Oh, fuck.
898
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:21,800
- Shit.
- What?
899
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:24,040
- Mum?
- [Erin] Andrea?
900
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:25,120
Yeah.
901
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,080
It's Vin. It's Vinnie.
902
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:32,720
Red or brown?
903
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:37,720
No. No. No. That's your son,
that's Vinnie. We've come looking for you.
904
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,440
There's free refills on the coffee.
905
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:45,760
Just stop a sec. I did as I was told.
906
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,400
I stayed, but you didn't come back.
907
00:41:50,240 --> 00:41:51,640
You've grown, haven't you?
908
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:54,480
Good looking.
909
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,120
- I'll get the sauces.
- Mum?
910
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:02,840
Vin, just give her a minute.
She's overwhelmed.
911
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,160
My heart's beating out of my chest here.
912
00:42:06,240 --> 00:42:09,280
Can you ask that lady
to come back? Please.
913
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:11,320
Can I just nip through?
914
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,560
- It's private, mate.
- I know, I'm really sorry.
915
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,160
Mum! Mum!
916
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,640
I stayed where you told me to stay.
917
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:25,760
I have a little boy.
918
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:29,680
He's called Tyler.
919
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,840
["One Of Us Cannot Be Wrong" playing]
920
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:47,760
- You all right, mate?
- Yeah.
921
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:52,040
Does she have a family?
922
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:55,040
Husband. Step-kid.
923
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:57,360
[sighs]
924
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:00,400
Is she happy?
925
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:03,720
[exhales]
926
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:04,800
Hard to tell.
927
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:07,040
She…
928
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:08,360
Does her work and goes home.
929
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:09,520
Hmm.
930
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:18,120
I'm sorry.
931
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,400
[exhales deeply]
932
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,320
Did you speak to her?
933
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:32,920
- Hmm.
- Yeah?
934
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:36,680
Where is she?
935
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:38,400
She's gone.
936
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:40,640
Where?
937
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:42,880
She just walked away.
938
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:47,040
That's twice now.
939
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:56,600
She's just a lady.
940
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:00,840
I'm so sorry, Vin.
941
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:03,400
It's okay.
942
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:09,000
Let's go home.
943
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:10,560
[song continues]
944
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:14,160
[vocalising]
945
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:30,880
- All right, Vinnie.
- Ey up, Pat.
946
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:34,680
- Fancy a brew, lads?
- Go on.
947
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,920
- [Vinnie] Love one.
- [Ash] Thank you, Auntie.
948
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,000
[Vinnie] Sorry you never got to meet him.
949
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:44,200
Your real dad.
950
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,760
At least now I know.
At least now I've got a name.
951
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:55,680
She did love him.
952
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:58,560
You know?
953
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:02,240
You'd have been born out of love there.
954
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,400
And some great fucking sex, apparently.
955
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,200
- [both laugh]
- Ah.
956
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,520
["It's A Motherfucker" playing]
957
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,080
♪ It's a motherfucker… ♪
958
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:22,320
Does this make us brothers?
959
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,000
♪ Being here without you ♪
960
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:28,480
Yeah.
961
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:32,080
Sure it does, mate.
962
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:38,360
♪ And I won't ever be the same ♪
963
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:45,160
♪ It's a motherfucker ♪
964
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,120
♪ Getting through a Sunday ♪
965
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:54,160
♪ Talking to the walls
Just me again… ♪
966
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,200
[all cheering]
967
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:02,680
Three Eyed Pete's barge, here we come!
968
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:04,520
- I'm sorry.
- Don't be silly.
969
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:10,560
♪ I won't ever be the same ♪
970
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:15,840
- You all right?
- Yeah.
971
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:17,880
Christ, they're funny.
972
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:22,320
What's a bloody family, anyway?
973
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:24,600
It's just a name
you call all the people around you.
974
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:28,120
This is my family here.
975
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:30,840
You.
976
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:32,680
That little lad.
977
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:35,280
You're the ones who cheer me up
when I'm sad,
978
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,840
you're the ones who put a smile on my face
when I feel like shit, you know?
979
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:42,920
And fuck, man, the rest is just…
It's just the past.
980
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:44,360
Daddy.
981
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,920
Uncle Daddy… [grunts]
…and Uncle Dylan.
982
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:50,680
- Give him a smooch. Oh!
- Love it.
983
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:52,520
Give me a smooch. Oh!
984
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:53,920
[Sugar] Have a great time!
985
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:56,360
Fuck his brains out.
986
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,800
- Shouldn't take too long.
- [all laughing]
987
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:02,320
[song continues]
988
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:26,240
As you can see,
the safe is no longer here.
989
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:27,680
He said, "You do that,
990
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:30,000
"otherwise I'll hurt your sister." Argh!
991
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,320
- Who?
- Keithy.
992
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,160
[screaming]
993
00:47:33,240 --> 00:47:34,240
[shouting indistinctly]
994
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:36,960
[brakes screech]
995
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:38,520
He's dead as a fuckin doornail.
996
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,640
He's over near the big tree.
997
00:47:42,720 --> 00:47:43,960
[screams]
998
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:45,880
The police could bang on that door
any second.
999
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,360
- [knock at door]
- [all scream]
1000
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,600
["(I Got) So Much Trouble
In My Mind" playing]
1001
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,400
♪ I got so much trouble in my mind ♪
1002
00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:56,520
♪ I got so much trouble in my mind ♪
1003
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,720
♪ I got so much trouble in my mind ♪
1004
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:04,720
♪ I got so much trouble in my mind ♪
1005
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:08,760
♪ Give me the strength to carry on ♪
1006
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:12,760
♪ Give me the strength to carry on ♪
74648
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