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[Vinnie and Tyler singing] ♪ There was
An old lady who swallowed a fly ♪
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♪ I don't know why she swallowed a fly ♪
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00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,560
♪ Perhaps she'll die ♪
4
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,240
♪ There was an old lady
Who swallowed a spider ♪
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00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,680
- ♪ That wriggled and jiggled ♪
- ♪ And tickled inside her ♪
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[chuckles] ♪ She… ♪
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♪ Swallowed the spider to catch the fly ♪
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♪ I don't know why she swallowed a fly ♪
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[both] ♪ Perhaps she'll die… ♪
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["Rockaway Beach" playing]
11
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♪ Chewin' out a rhythm on my bubble-gum ♪
12
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,960
♪ The sun is out and I want some ♪
13
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,240
♪ It's not hard, not far to reach… ♪
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Whoa, whoa! Let's have you.
15
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,360
Why's he got a boat?
16
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[Vinnie] I have no idea why.
That's the thing with Chinese Dan.
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You never know what he's got. Come on!
18
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:54,976
- Check this out.
- [buzzes]
19
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,640
A great thick idiot
will magically appear at the door.
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00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,080
- Hello.
- You all right, Calvin?
21
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,280
I've got some gear for Chinese Dan in van…
22
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,080
Your mate not with you?
Small one, flamboyant shirt?
23
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,520
[Vinnie] Do you see him, Calvin?
24
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,600
No. So he's not here?
25
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,400
He's not here. No, he's not here.
26
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Tell him, go get Chinese Dan.
27
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,720
- Get Chinese Dan.
- Go get Chinese Dan!
28
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,280
- Wait there.
- Oh, we'll wait there.
29
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This isn't even bloody locked, dude.
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[Chinese Dan] Bloody hellfire.
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- Dear, dear…
- Never mind dear, dear!
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- Them's some good treads them, Dan.
- Jesus Christ…
33
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He's not Chinese.
34
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:27,880
No. It's… It's a nickname.
35
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,320
[Chinese Dan] Are these knock-off?
36
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,040
[Vinnie] Yeah, ish.
What's with t'boat, man?
37
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,040
What? You want it?
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Can't shift the bloody thing!
Sick of the sight.
39
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,600
[Vinnie] I've no use for a boat.
40
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Why did you bring it up?
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00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,680
- 'Cause I was bloody curious!
- Curious?
42
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,000
Does it look like
I've got time for curious?
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I don't buy stolen goods, Vinnie.
44
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Never. I'm an honest businessman.
45
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,800
- That's just complete bollocks.
- But, as a favour to you,
46
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,840
I'll take them off your hands
for half price.
47
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,240
Half normal price?
You penis! Listen to him.
48
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,800
Tell him he's a penis. He's bloody…
49
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,800
- [phone ringing]
- screwing me, ain't he!
50
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,920
- You're a penis and you're screwing him.
- A penis? That hurts!
51
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- [Tyler] Screwing him double time.
- What's going on?
52
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,520
It's me mum, Vinnie! [sobbing]
53
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She's gone! She's dead, Vinnie.
54
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,216
- How come you're calling me a penis?
- Oh, shit! Shit! Oi!
55
00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,680
Go and get in that bloody van.
56
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,680
Do your fly up!
Your shirt's sticking out of it.
57
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Bring your mate next time.
58
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[Vinnie] I will do. Sod off, Calvin!
59
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[tyres screeching]
60
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,720
["Money" playing]
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♪ That's what I want ♪
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[tyres screeching]
63
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- ♪ That's what I want ♪
- ♪ That's what I want ♪
64
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Who is he?
65
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,520
He's me mate, he sounds like Orville.
66
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,960
Who's Orville?
67
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Green duck, wore a nappy,
sat on an old bloke's knee.
68
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,800
And when I were your age,
69
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,160
weirdly, that were entertainment.
70
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,200
Giddy, come on, love!
71
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,560
- Oh, Vinnie, I've run out of tea bags.
- It's all right.
72
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And Mum always said to make a pot of tea…
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- It's all right, we'll get you some.
- [sobbing]
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We'll get you some tea bags.
75
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- Listen to me. Oi.
- She's gone.
76
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When did she pass away?
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Erm… about five minutes ago.
78
00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:57,560
Christ.
79
00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,800
- [Gideon] I rang you straight away.
- Is she, er…
80
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,560
- Yeah.
- Still up there? Yeah, all right.
81
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,920
Oh! Your friend's very little.
82
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,120
Well, he's seven, in't he?
83
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,520
- Oh.
- He's a child.
84
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,560
Oh, I thought he was just small.
85
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,440
My cousin O'Sheen's that size and he's 42.
86
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,240
It's a genetic disorder.
87
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,960
Something to do with the soil composition
88
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,320
- in the West of Ireland. [sobbing]
- [Vinnie] Christ.
89
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:19,680
Wanna see the creepy house?
90
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,200
- Yeah.
- Get in there!
91
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,440
Who are all these?
92
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These are dead folks, all these, love.
93
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,400
- Really?
- Yeah.
94
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:26,560
- Even him?
- Ooh. He's new!
95
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,760
Giddy, sweetheart.
96
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,800
- Who's that?
- Oh yeah, erm…
97
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,400
He got his foot infected
on holiday in Beaverlick.
98
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,400
- Beaverlick?
- Yeah, it's, erm… [sighs]
99
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,440
where they make the chicken.
What's it called? Eh… Kentucky.
100
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,360
Oh, that's not a thing dude.
Not even slightly.
101
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:41,560
- Tyler?
- [Tyler] Yeah?
102
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,920
What do you want to do?
Do you wanna stay here,
103
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,240
or do you want to check out
Gideon's dead mum?
104
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:48,480
Will she look asleep?
105
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,240
Oh, yes, she's still warm!
106
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,240
That's a really weird thing to say.
107
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Do you wanna stay here?
108
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,880
What do you want to do?
109
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- I'll go in.
- Ah!
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Sickness and diarrhoea!
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You're so brave, dude.
112
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,480
Let's have a look at her… Oh, Christ!
113
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,120
- Sat up.
- Oh, I did that.
114
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,680
[Vinnie] Why is she holding a brew?
115
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One last cuppa together.
116
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,000
But you've no tea bags, have ya?
117
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Well, no… There's no tea in it, Vinnie.
118
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There's no point, she's dead!
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[sighs] Just get her ankles, will ya?
120
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Let's lie her down. All right.
121
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,920
- Mum, it's just Vinnie and Tyler.
- Some mime tea there.
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[Tyler slurping]
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[lips smacking]
It's all right, sweetheart.
124
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Inappropriately going
under the covers to just…
125
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,520
- [cat miaowing]
- Oh, fuck! [grunts]
126
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,280
Fuck! Fuck me, man. Why is the cat…
127
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,400
- One last stroke of Mr Mittens.
- Did he die too?
128
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,480
Ages ago. [sighs]
129
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:42,520
We're gonna need an undertaker, y'know?
130
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Do you know an undertaker?
131
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I'm seven.
132
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,320
[bell pinging]
133
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[pinging]
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- Once!
- [women yelp]
135
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It's not ping-ping fuckin' ping!
Not a children's toy!
136
00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,200
People see a bell and they're
fuckin' three again! They regress.
137
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:02,000
Would you like a fuckin' rusk
in your mouth?
138
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,040
- Are you wearing a fuckin' nappy? No!
- You don't have rusks at three.
139
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,400
I wouldn't know,
'cause I don't have children, do I?
140
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,520
Nor do I want any baldy dribbling fucks.
What do you want?
141
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,240
- Vinnie sent us.
- [Gary sighs] What now?
142
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,400
- Well, somebody's sort of dead.
- Yeah.
143
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,680
Ah, for fuck's… I'm having me lunch!
144
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,440
You can tell him, I'm not doing anything
145
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,080
until I've finished me rarebit.
146
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,120
- That's cheese on toast.
- [yells] It's fucking rarebit!
147
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It's cheese on toast.
148
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,880
- [bell pinging]
- [Gary] Sluts!
149
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,160
[Tommo yelps]
150
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:34,600
Avoiding us, Tommo?
151
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,520
Aw, girls, girls…
152
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,400
Hey, why would I be avoiding you, eh?
153
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:39,600
You owe us two months' pay.
154
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,480
- We want our money.
- A-ha. Girls, look,
155
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you've got it all wrong, haven't yer?
156
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,200
The reason I was popping in there,
157
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,800
is to get you your money.
158
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,680
Yeah. So, if you'll just let me go,
for one second…
159
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,800
See? Not bad, in't it, eh?
160
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:55,880
Help me!
161
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- Get him!
- Rape!
162
00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,080
[frantic music playing]
163
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,560
- [woman] Get him!
- [all yelling]
164
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,840
- Ah!
- What the fuck?
165
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,640
- Where's Tommo after going?
- [Tommo] Help!
166
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:06,840
Tommo, get in the back!
167
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,120
Get off the road, Tommo! Hurry on!
168
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,000
- Where's our money?
- What's wrong with you?
169
00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:12,840
[screaming]
170
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,720
[Erin] What have you done to those girls?
171
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,520
I will kill you if it's got
anything to do with the club, Tommo!
172
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,600
[Tommo grunts]
173
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:23,960
[all grunting]
174
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,240
Why don't you just pay 'em?
175
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,200
Yeah, great question,
co-assistant Manager.
176
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,920
Why don't I just pay 'em?
Because I haven't got any fucking money!
177
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:31,920
[Gary] Move.
178
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,760
Aside from a few thousand ecstasy tablets,
which I can't shift
179
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,960
because Carl Slater's
breathing down me fuckin' neck,
180
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,440
I've got zero collateral.
181
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:39,560
I'll take a pill off you.
182
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,680
- One pill?
- Well, all right, two, so.
183
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:43,960
I'll get one for Cardi.
184
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,880
Right. Hallelujah!
All me cash flow problems are sorted.
185
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,800
[Carol] Do you want the sale or not?
186
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,520
[solemn music playing]
187
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,640
Hello?
188
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:56,640
She has to be buried. Sh-She hated fire.
189
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,400
Even on holiday, she'd lie under a towel.
190
00:06:58,480 --> 00:06:59,320
Calm down a bit.
191
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,760
We got some funny looks in Turin.
192
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,160
She loved hymns!
"All Things Bright and Beautiful."
193
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,400
And the one about the shell suit,
how did that go?
194
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:10,080
[ululating]
195
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,640
♪ Yer nana in a shell suit ♪
196
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,920
"Ding Dong Merrily on High!"
197
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,560
"Hosanna in excelsis."
Not your nana in a shell suit.
198
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,480
- I don't think it matters though, does it?
- Matters to Gloria Hosanna.
199
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,080
She's hailed for her glory to God,
not '80s attire!
200
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,480
Isn't that a Christmas song?
201
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,040
It is… Well, yeah, it is a Christmas song.
Do you want it?
202
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,640
Yes, please. I'd like that,
"All Things Bright and Beautiful,"
203
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,560
- and "Living in a Box."
- Giddy?
204
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,520
Calm yourself a little bit now.
205
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,920
- Sorry. I'm upset, Vinnie.
- [Vinnie] It's all right.
206
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,400
Go and make a cup of tea.
Just calm down a little bit.
207
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,320
- [Gideon] Is that the tea bags?
- Yeah.
208
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,400
Go and sort that out.
Do you wanna go help Giddy?
209
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,000
- Okay.
- What a good lad.
210
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,840
I promised his mam,
I'd take care of him once she'd passed.
211
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,560
He's like a little lad!
He's never done anything for himself.
212
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,080
If you're looking for a free funeral,
go fuck yourself.
213
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,800
- No way, nada, nein, nicht.
- Stop fucking being German.
214
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,400
- What about mate's rates?
- What mate?
215
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,720
Me, you dickhead!
216
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,400
Oh, let me think about that for a second.
Eh, no!
217
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,360
His fuckin' mum's died!
He's got nothing and no one.
218
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,520
She's the only person
that ever cared for him.
219
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,120
- Have you seen the price of coffins?
- Fuck, you're horrible.
220
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,320
- Tight that.
- Shocking.
221
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,760
- Really mean.
- Oh, that's right!
222
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,520
Guilt trip me. It's all my fault!
223
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,400
I've got cystitis and a bunion on my foot
224
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,080
but you don't see anyone crying for me!
225
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,400
They are painful.
226
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,040
- Which?
- Both.
227
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,200
I know none of you know him.
All right? I get it.
228
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,600
But I fucking do.
229
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,000
I care about him.
I feel responsible for him.
230
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,680
Help me or don't help me,
I'm burying his mam with dignity.
231
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,120
- Oh, for God's sake! Fine, fine!
- Fuck me…
232
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,920
Let me tell you what I can do.
233
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,960
There was a couple in last week,
the Kennerleys.
234
00:08:34,039 --> 00:08:35,520
- Brian and Maureen.
- [pinging]
235
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,520
[Gary yells] Christ! Once!
Ping-ping fuckin' ping…
236
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,919
Let me tell you, this pair
237
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,400
won "Cunt Couple of the Year"
five years running.
238
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,000
Is that a thing?
239
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,760
We need… gold.
240
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,280
Gold trim, gold handles
241
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,600
and mahogany.
242
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,720
The finest mahogany known to humanity.
243
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,480
Oi! Are you listening?
244
00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,280
Yes, I'm listening.
245
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,080
It's the eye.
246
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,560
Looks like you're not listening.
247
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:04,880
It gives me the creeps.
248
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,240
He was looking at me, Brian was,
going on about the eye,
249
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:08,840
pointing it out, all morning!
250
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,040
- It's not funny!
- It's not.
251
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,400
Calling me Gar-eye by the end,
asking me to do things.
252
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,200
"Do this, Gar-eye. Do that, Gar-eye!"
253
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,200
Raging I was with him! Raging!
254
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,280
Anyway, it went on till we buried
his mother bitch in the ground.
255
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,800
- And I'm not a spiteful man.
- Oh, fuck off! You're horrible.
256
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,880
- You're a horrible man.
- All right, I'm a little bit spiteful,
257
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,640
but they were rude, Vin! Hurtful!
258
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,760
[sniffling] And that coffin is too good
259
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:32,920
for any cunt that pushed
that cunt out of her cunt!
260
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,240
Tea's up, everybody.
261
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,320
Oh, brilliant!
262
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,440
Fuck me.
263
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,760
[upbeat music playing]
264
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,520
[speaking indistinctly]
265
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,400
- Hurry the fuck up.
- I'm finishing.
266
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:50,640
Ow!
267
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,680
[Carol] All sorted.
No one's getting in now.
268
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,840
[Vinnie] I tell you, I'm just feeling
a bit anxious about all of this.
269
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,800
I've just been in the nick
for "preventing a lawful burial"
270
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,840
and now I'm pissing about
in here with Beth…
271
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,400
God, she looks boring, doesn't she?
272
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,280
It's Gideon that's in need of the coffin.
273
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,200
I'm just asking…
274
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,440
Is there not another way,
is all I am saying?
275
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:15,600
What are you talking about?
276
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,200
You want a coffin, I want revenge.
277
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,280
- It's win-win.
- Oh!
278
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,840
All right,
but I just wanna say a few words.
279
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,000
- Some dignity before she goes in the oven.
- She's dead. She's had her words.
280
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,080
F-For fuck's sake, Gary, you maniac!
281
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,480
You're desensitised, you!
282
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,680
Do you know all that,
these are all people?
283
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,960
They were children.
All of them, at some stage.
284
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,960
She was cradled in her mother's arms...
285
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,720
And now she's dead, in the ground.
Dig the fuckin' earth!
286
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,280
[excavator clunking]
287
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,600
It's funny being dead, in't it?
288
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:42,240
All that shit everyone worries about,
289
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,520
"Oh no, I've missed me deadline!"
290
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,280
Oh no, I've hurt their feelings!"
291
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,120
"Oh, no, I've been to visit
my elderly neighbour,
292
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,880
"and ended up raw doggin' her
in front of Countdown."
293
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,040
When you're down there,
none of it fuckin' matters.
294
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,400
- [loud thud]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
295
00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:58,840
You'll damage the coffin!
296
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,440
Let's get in and do the rest by hand.
297
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,360
Go on, Ashley! Get in there, love.
298
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:03,640
Go on, Dyldo.
299
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,320
There we go, lad.
300
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,320
["Border Girl" playing]
301
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:09,680
Yeah, mind! Mind!
302
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,560
- [panting]
- Have I told you I've taken up magic?
303
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,440
No, but now is the perfect time.
304
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,360
[Cardi] I've been learning it on YouTube.
305
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,560
Magic her alive,
maybe she could dig herself out.
306
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,080
Oh, d'you know, I'm getting pretty good.
Carol reckons I could earn a living at it.
307
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,800
Could you shut the fuck up about magic?
308
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,800
I think we're there now.
Hey, just pull top layer off. Come on.
309
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,520
[all grunting]
310
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,440
[Tommo] Looks good!
311
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,240
[Vinnie] That's a beauty. Look at that!
312
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,160
Right, shift! I'm gonna lift off the lid.
313
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:36,240
What? Open the lid?
314
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,120
Why are you talking
about lifting the lid for?
315
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,440
To get her out. Was I unclear about that?
316
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,160
- [clamouring]
- Yeah, you fuckin' were!
317
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:45,040
How do you think we're gonna get
a giant coffin out of a tiny hole?
318
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,560
You have to upend and push!
319
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,480
You wouldn't move a chest of drawers
320
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:50,560
- with the contents inside, would ya?
- Fair point.
321
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,400
[JJ] No flipping way, mate. Count me out.
322
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,120
It's disgusting!
It's bloody immoral and it's degrading!
323
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,920
By the way, to get my own back,
324
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,920
I buried her in tights and suspenders.
325
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,400
[all exclaiming in disgust]
326
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,920
- [coughing]
- [Vinnie] For fuck's sake, Gary.
327
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,600
Is it just me
or is that still quite erotic?
328
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:08,760
- Fuck off!
- Hang about!
329
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,760
- I'm in touch with my experimental side.
- Can we just get on with this?
330
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,360
[Cardi] Dude, I'm gonna fuckin' puke.
331
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,720
One of you needs to climb up
and help us at the top.
332
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,840
- [Cardi] I'll go.
- That's a bad choice.
333
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,440
Right, one, two, three…
334
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,680
[Vinnie] Careful, lads. C-Careful!
335
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,160
[Tommo] I'm not sure I've got him…
336
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,320
- [frantic music playing]
- [all clamouring]
337
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,160
You have crushed her entire body!
338
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,760
Dude, I think one of her boobs
just popped!
339
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:32,920
Oh, Cardi…
340
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,160
That is a fucking nightmare, man!
341
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:36,640
She's fucking stiff!
342
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:37,880
She's not the only one.
343
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,400
You get out.
344
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,040
[yells] Now!
345
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,680
[rueful music playing]
346
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:44,960
[Vinnie] Take her shoes off.
347
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,640
No, she had the most disgusting trotters
I have ever seen.
348
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:48,880
Right. There you go.
349
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,640
Go ahead, say your words.
350
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,400
- Like that?
- No.
351
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,040
- It is like that, dickhead.
- It's not.
352
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,120
It is like that!
353
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,280
Go on, say your words.
354
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,400
Beth, listen, love…
355
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:01,880
[exhales] I'm sure…
356
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,800
…that when you were on this earth,
you were a good…
357
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,800
mother and good wife…
What are you doing, you dickhead?
358
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,040
- Why've you done that?
- Why don't we have a brew?
359
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,480
I haven't finished what I was saying!
Gary, you've ruined…
360
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,560
I'm sorry… [muffled] …for nicking
yer coffin, love. For fuck's sake…
361
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,160
♪ Shakedown ♪
362
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,880
♪ Dreams walking in broad daylight… ♪
363
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,520
- Don't you want the rest of it?
- No, I'll pass.
364
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,440
[Vinnie] Giddy!
365
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,040
Pick a card. Any card.
366
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:30,320
- [Ash] Okay.
- Got one?
367
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,520
- Right, don't show me.
- Yeah, Okay.
368
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,800
Put it back. Any way, anywhere you like.
369
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,200
- Okay.
- Back in?
370
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,160
- It's back in there.
- Right, Okay.
371
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,800
All right, just… Now, just…
372
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,320
On three, just snap your fingers
near the deck.
373
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,480
All right?
374
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,360
One, two…
375
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,640
- Three!
- Whoa!
376
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,720
Is that your card, six of diamonds?
377
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,120
Yes, ah…
378
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,720
- Magician!
- [Ash] That's a… That's a class act.
379
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,040
And for my next trick…
380
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:58,160
- Get outta the way!
- Aww! Magic!
381
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,520
Vinnie, I…
I think I look plump in this suit.
382
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,520
Yeah, I mean, yeah, you look plump
in fuckin' everythin' don't you?
383
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,520
You're plump! [chuckles]
384
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,160
I think it's cool, man.
385
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,840
Very sharp.
386
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,360
Come here, sweetheart.
Put that on. It's bloody freezin'.
387
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,560
- Thanks.
- There's a good lad.
388
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,920
Y-You're a good friend, Vinnie.
389
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:18,800
Thank you.
390
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,480
What are you thanking me for?
Of course I'm your friend!
391
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,480
I told your mum I'd look after you.
That's exactly what I'm gonna do.
392
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:28,040
Well, you're a credit to your mum.
Sh-She brought you up well.
393
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,240
Maybe.
394
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,600
Boys need their mums, don't they?
That's what my mum used to say.
395
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:34,920
Yeah?
396
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,520
I reckon you're definitely right
with that one, Giddy. Christ.
397
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,160
[Cardi] Ow, ow, ow!
398
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,480
Oh, you fuckers!
399
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:41,560
Hey!
400
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,840
[Cardi] Dude, I'm sorry!
I said I am fucking sorry!
401
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,320
Ash, stop it. Stop. Stop! The pair of ya.
402
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,680
What the fuck's going on?
403
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,280
He handcuffed us together.
404
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,440
What've you done that for?
405
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,840
- Magic!
- Fucking magic?
406
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,480
- He's swallowed the key.
- Have ya?
407
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,640
[sighs] I was supposed to hold it
under my tongue.
408
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,200
- Have you got a spare one?
- Not on me.
409
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,760
Why do you keep saying "not on me"?
You don't have a spare one!
410
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,320
- You either have one or you don't!
- Stop it!
411
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,320
Stop it. Christ.
412
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,160
Listen, you have to fucking go.
It's a funeral!
413
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,480
You look like you're on day release, lads.
414
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:14,800
Behave yourselves!
415
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:15,880
Hey.
416
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,880
We will.
It was my favourite trick as well.
417
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,440
You've upset him there.
You have bloody upset him.
418
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,520
- Dylan!
- What?
419
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,200
Why are you letting them do magic?
420
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:24,640
Do you know what I mean?
421
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,240
[Dylan] It's always my fault, in't it?
422
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,040
["Try A Little Tenderness" playing]
423
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,040
♪ Oh, she may be weary ♪
424
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,880
[shouting] Mum! Mum!
425
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,400
♪ And them young girls,
They sure get weary ♪
426
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,240
♪ Wearing that same old ♪
427
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:53,200
♪ Raggedy dress, yeah ♪
428
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,320
♪ But when they get weary ♪
429
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:06,400
♪ Try a little tenderness ♪
430
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:07,560
[imperceptible]
431
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,880
♪ Tell you, might not believe it, but ♪
432
00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,120
♪ You know she's waiting ♪
433
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,800
♪ Just anticipating… ♪
434
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,680
[all] ♪ All things bright and beautiful ♪
435
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,080
♪ All creatures great and small ♪
436
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,760
♪ All things wise and wonderful ♪
437
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,360
♪ The Lord God made them all ♪
438
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,720
[Vinnie] Giddy, give us a song!
439
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:44,880
♪ The Lord is always listening ♪
440
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:49,040
♪ To give us what we need ♪
441
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:53,120
♪ Like when I've run out of tea bags ♪
442
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,960
♪ And Vinnie needs some weed ♪
443
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,440
[all cheering]
444
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,320
Okay, this is the, er, the main bar area.
445
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,840
And at the back there
is the staff quarters.
446
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,920
["Oh I Miss Her So" playing]
447
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,599
[sighs]
448
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:10,760
♪ My honey likes the sunshine… ♪
449
00:17:10,839 --> 00:17:12,880
Er, these… these are the numbers
450
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,720
from the books this year so far.
451
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:18,079
As you can see, obviously,
'cause of the current climate…
452
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,720
[priestess]
We commit Gideon's mum to the ground.
453
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,440
Earth to earth.
454
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,119
Ashes to ashes.
455
00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:27,599
Dust to dust.
456
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,200
Bye, Mum. [sobbing]
457
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,960
- [rock thuds]
- Jesus, Cardi.
458
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,680
D'you think I made it worse?
459
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,120
[Cardi] Hit it in the middle
of the plastic bit.
460
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:49,360
Never pay to have it sucked again.
AutoBlow 2, Titan edition.
461
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:50,920
Me mum's just died.
462
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,560
You'll need it all the more, won't ya?
463
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,240
Motty, will you fuck off
with your blow job machine?
464
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,280
Fucking Autoblow 2.
Have you improved it on the last one?
465
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:01,600
- Well, the first one snagged, didn't it?
- You're never gonna sell that, love.
466
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,440
Thanks for all this, Vinnie.
Eh, can I buy you a drink?
467
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,160
- Nah, you don't have to do that.
- Oh, please. I-I insist.
468
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:09,880
Sod it. Go on then.
469
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,360
- Pint of lager.
- Eh, pint of lager please, Dylan,
470
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,120
and whatever you're having, mate.
471
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,000
Where is me wallet now?
472
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,560
Oh, there's so many pockets in here.
473
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,400
- Can I give you a hand there?
- [giggling] Vinnie!
474
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,120
- It'll be down here!
- [giggling]
475
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,200
Vinnie, that's rude!
476
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,280
[chortling]
477
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,840
Oh, Vinnie. That…
478
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:28,280
That's Mum's handwriting.
479
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,440
- Is it?
- Yeah.
480
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,800
Yeah? Well, that might be a bloody note!
481
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,720
What does it say? What does she mean?
482
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,440
Chill out, let's have a look.
483
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:36,600
Oh, looksee…
484
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,120
- "For when I'm gone…"
- [gasps]
485
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,880
Vinnie, do you think she wrote it
from beyond the grave?
486
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,600
Do I bloody hell, you lunatic.
487
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,080
She's wrote you a little letter,
488
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,840
and snuck it in there so you'd find it
once she's passed away.
489
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,040
Ah, that makes more sense.
490
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,280
- It does, don't it?
- Yeah.
491
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,280
- There you go then...
- Oh, no. Can you open it?
492
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,680
Oh, Giddy, love, it's…
I don't know about that.
493
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,800
Oh please, Vinnie.
I'm dead nervous. Please.
494
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:58,880
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
495
00:18:58,920 --> 00:18:59,920
- Yeah?
- Yes.
496
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,480
All right then.
Let's just get it over and done with.
497
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,880
- Oh! Lovely handwriting! Look at that!
- Yeah.
498
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,720
Funeral instructions?
Oh, no! What have we forgotten? It...
499
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,200
It's all right. It's all right.
Sweetheart, it's all right.
500
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,840
I bet there's not a thing on this list
we haven't covered.
501
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,480
- We've had a lovely day, haven't we?
- Magic, yeah.
502
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,240
- Yep. Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
503
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,280
- [Gideon] Yeah. Yeah…
- [Vinnie] Mmm-hmm.
504
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,360
[Gideon] Yep…
505
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,520
- Buried at sea?
- Fuck!
506
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,720
[Vinnie] Cardi swallowed the key.
We don't have a spare.
507
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,320
Let me get this straight.
You don't want to buy it?
508
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,240
I don't wanna buy it. I wana borrow it!
509
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:35,320
- Borrow?
- Yeah.
510
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,000
You mean rent?
511
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,760
No, I don't mean fucking rent!
512
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,360
I want to borrow it, for a sea burial.
513
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:42,840
Our mate's mam's died!
514
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,320
No one's making any money on this.
515
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,720
W-We're just doing it
out of the goodness of our hearts.
516
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,440
Goodness of your hearts?
517
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,040
Let me tell you,
I once signed up to a charity once.
518
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,960
What happened? Same day, crashed me car
519
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,480
and got laryngitis!
520
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:57,480
And that were it.
521
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,240
I got out of the nice game.
522
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,320
[Cardi] How come you've got
so many keys, anyway?
523
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,280
I unlock lots of things.
524
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,160
Like what?
525
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:06,760
Doors…
526
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,560
hearts…
527
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:10,800
[Vinnie] Look, you said yourself,
528
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,800
you're sick of the fuckin' sight of it!
529
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,720
We only need it for a couple of days, man.
530
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:15,800
Come on.
531
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,120
- Couple of days?
- Yeah.
532
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,200
Let me see.
533
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,600
Yes…
534
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,000
- or no?
- Dick.
535
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:25,640
Yes…
536
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,440
or no?
537
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:29,920
- Yes.
- Yeah?
538
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,320
- On one condition.
- Go on.
539
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,560
You don't bring it back.
540
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,160
- You what?
- [Chinese Dan] You heard!
541
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,640
You take it, you sail it away,
542
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,920
you drop off your dead person…
543
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,800
and I never see it again.
544
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,760
Fuck me, you are hard work.
Insured, is it? Eh?
545
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,880
Yes, as a matter of fact, it is, yeah.
546
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,960
But I resent the accusation.
547
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,120
I fuck… I hate you, Dan.
548
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,520
- I know.
- You're horrible.
549
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,360
Link the fucking thing up.
550
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,280
Calvin, no worries but…
551
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,880
Oh, here, maybe take a laxative.
552
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,160
Poop the key out.
553
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,760
You might as well get your mates
to handcuff us together.
554
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,480
Fucking hell, mate! Harassment, that is.
555
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,160
- #MeToo, pal.
- [Vinnie] Tommo, stop flirting!
556
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,640
Get in the fucking van dude,
we've gotta get laxatives!
557
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,320
[Tommo] Christ, he's a dickhead.
558
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:15,600
[puffing]
559
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:17,840
All this Gideon stuff,
560
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,960
it's got me thinkin' about me mum a lot.
561
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,400
Y'know?
562
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,840
Why the fuckin' hell
do you just leave your child?
563
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:26,840
I mean, let's just…
564
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:30,320
If we gave her the benefit of
the doubt for a sec, and just say
565
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,280
that me dad was fucking useless,
which he would have been,
566
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,240
and she needed some space,
that's fair enough.
567
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,680
But you'd come back, wouldn't you?
I'd never,
568
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,200
ever leave my little boy. Ever.
569
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,440
No, no phone call, no f… Here you are.
570
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,160
This is all I've got.
571
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,920
All I've got to remind me of her.
572
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,160
[Vinnie sighs]
573
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,360
- Nice.
- She were bonny.
574
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,000
I get these flashbacks…
575
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,480
to the moment she left me,
when I was little.
576
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:01,560
Y'know?
577
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,000
[sighs] And fuck, I wonder…
578
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,840
I, I wonder
in a funny kinda way, whether…
579
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,840
Maybe that's the reason
I don't trust anyone.
580
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:10,720
Especially girls.
581
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,200
Fuck, I am just terrified
of falling in love,
582
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,320
in case they bloody leave me, y'know?
583
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,480
Leave me on my own.
584
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:23,680
Amazing knees.
585
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,160
- Dickhead.
- Oh, they're smashers.
586
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,920
Dude, I'm pouring me heart out here
587
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,000
and you're just perving
on me missing mum's knees.
588
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,760
- You fu...
- I'm saying, she was a looker!
589
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,560
- You should be pleased!
- Pleased?
590
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,520
Yeah! I mean, I would.
I mean, not now, but back then I would.
591
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,880
- Honestly, you've crossed a line.
- It's a good thing!
592
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,840
- There's your weed.
- Vinnie!
593
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:41,120
- I'm storming out.
- What?
594
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,080
You'd rather I'd said she was a munter?
595
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,840
Don't you crease it! Right, now!
596
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,480
- Coming up with another plan, again.
- This plan is simple…
597
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:50,920
- Oh?
- …yet genius.
598
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,840
Now, we live on an island. Yeah?
599
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,440
- Yep.
- What is an island surrounded by, Dylan?
600
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,960
- We're not fucking five, Vin.
- Oh, water?
601
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,760
[Vinnie] Correct!
You're fucking spot on, clever lad!
602
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,800
Right, now, off this island,
there's another island.
603
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,000
- Voila!
- Douglas.
604
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,440
- Capital of the Isle of Man.
- That's right, Dyldo! And that…
605
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,480
That's where we'll be sailing to.
606
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,280
- Are you fucking joking?
- Hang about. Why the Isle of Man?
607
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:17,400
I'm glad you asked.
It's a fuckin' good question.
608
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,160
The Isle of Man
has a massive boating community.
609
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,840
Right? This is what I think.
610
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,760
We do our sea burial with Gideon,
611
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,120
we sell that boat,
612
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,560
and we just tell Dan
613
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:30,040
that we sunk it all the way
to the bottom of the bloody ocean.
614
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:31,240
[Dylan] How do we get back?
615
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,840
You're gonna love it.
It's a win-win situation.
616
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,720
- The ferry.
- Ah, go on!
617
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,120
- [chuckles] Oh, yeah.
- Unbelievable. Genius, man. Genius.
618
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,200
Fuck, Dylan!
What the fuck is wrong with that plan?
619
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,040
Well, let me think.
Er, none of us can sail a fucking boat.
620
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:44,840
He can.
621
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,440
For fishing, yes.
Not across the fucking Irish Sea!
622
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:49,640
What's the difference?
623
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,080
Well, tides, currents,
bloody hidden rocks!
624
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,160
We're gonna need like GPS, tidal maps...
625
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,320
JJ, it's a straight line,
it just lists off to the left.
626
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:58,760
I'll sail it.
627
00:23:58,840 --> 00:23:59,760
Oh. Can you sail?
628
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,960
[sniffs] I've dabbled, mate, in me youth.
629
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,560
Forward, reverse, like a car, int it?
630
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:04,960
[hisses] Except on water.
631
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,400
Can I just say, yeah?
Tidal navigation requires practice,
632
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,920
- and fucking experience.
- You can't sail, you cunt.
633
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,600
Skipton Reservoir.
634
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:12,840
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
635
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,440
Well, that'll do, won't it?
I mean, it's, a couple of fingers that.
636
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,320
Can I come? On the boat trip?
637
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:19,400
Oh, well…
638
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,080
- You might have to ask your mam.
- Yeah!
639
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,360
- Oh, that was a shit idea.
- As long as I can come.
640
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,560
- Listen, Erin, I don't know whether…
- Shug?
641
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:28,640
No, absolutely not.
642
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,200
What could possibly go wrong?
643
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,000
[gentle music playing]
644
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:34,960
[Dylan] We shouldn't do this
in broad daylight.
645
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:35,960
[Vinnie] Oh, shit.
646
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,160
- These fishing rods, phwoar!
- [Dylan sighs]
647
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,096
- [Vinnie] Cumbersome, bloody hell.
- [Dylan] I can't wait…
648
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:42,360
[Vinnie] Jesus wept, dude.
649
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,520
Can you believe we've had to dig her up?
650
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,600
Two bodies in one week.
I've pulled my groin!
651
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:48,840
Just hurry up, for Christ sake!
652
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,120
Oi, stop being grumpy!
We're goin' as fast as we can!
653
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,240
Yeah, you bellend.
Give us a hand, lazy bastard.
654
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,480
In the fishing community,
this is bloody frowned upon.
655
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,640
They don't like humans,
they get eaten to the bone!
656
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,440
His mum will turn up
in a lobster thermidor!
657
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,160
- [Vinnie hushes]
- Lobster thermidor?
658
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:02,480
- Shit.
- Oi, oi, oi!
659
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,720
- They suck your eyes out first.
- Dude, what the fuck?
660
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,640
Right, now we've done everything
she asked for on that list, haven't we?
661
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,000
This is what she wanted, Gid.
662
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,320
Yeah, but I don't like the thought
of her down there, being…
663
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,760
- eaten by the fishes.
- You know, honestly, her soul, Gid,
664
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:19,080
that's up in heaven now.
This is just a… shell.
665
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,880
Oh, so that's just like a… a vessel?
666
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,640
She's like a vessel! Eh?
Shall we get her on board?
667
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,880
- Yes.
- [Vinnie] Let's get her on board! Come on.
668
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,320
JJ, get underneath, JJ…
669
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:29,920
With dignity now. With dignity.
670
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,320
Careful now, boys…
671
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:32,880
- Oh, fuck!
- [Gideon] Oh, my god!
672
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,240
[all clamouring]
673
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,000
What the fuck are you playing at?
674
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,600
What if they check the boat
at the Isle of Man?
675
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,600
[sniffs] Why would they
check the boat, Ashley?
676
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,960
In case there are dickheads
smuggling drugs?
677
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:44,760
You should've told Vinnie about this.
678
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,240
Well, I couldn't tell Vinnie
because he's brought a child on board.
679
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,360
Yeah, you knew he was bringing Tyler.
Why bring the drugs anyway?
680
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,160
Because I had it all worked out
in my fucking head.
681
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,120
Listen. Listen. Listen, right.
682
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:57,680
I've got a contact on the Isle.
683
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,480
One Sniffy Jones, not his real name,
he is a mate of Gary's. Anyway…
684
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,920
he does hen-dos, stag-dos
and God knows what the fuck else,
685
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,640
so I can shift some of these,
686
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,000
get a little bit of cash,
687
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,920
pay off them strippers
and maybe, just maybe,
688
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,720
keep a bit to one side for meself.
689
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:11,760
[sighs] I don't like this, Tommo.
Not a bit.
690
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,040
Look… [sniffs] Ashley.
691
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,520
We'll get to the other side, right?
692
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,120
I'll pop off for an hour max, job done.
693
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,440
- No one will be any the wiser.
- [groaning]
694
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,840
Will they?
695
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,480
- [farts]
- Oh…
696
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,320
Oh, yeah, yeah. It's happening now.
697
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,040
The laxatives are working.
Go on, I'm gonna shit myself. Hurry up.
698
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:32,960
[Ash] We didn't think
this plan through.
699
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,840
- [Gideon moans]
- Tyler, be careful there!
700
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,920
[Gideon] Oh, it's so wobbly!
701
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,760
Is it gonna be like this all the way?
702
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,320
- We haven't even left yet.
- We're still tied up, Giddy love.
703
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,560
Vinnie, I've got no sea legs.
I'm gonna be sick.
704
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,120
Are you bloody hell gonna be sick.
705
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,440
Oh, I am. I feel awful.
706
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,120
If you stand on one leg
and touch your nose,
707
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,200
you can't be sick.
708
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,160
Really? Is that true?
709
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,600
- That's a thing.
- Yeah.
710
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,400
- Try it.
- I'll try it.
711
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:57,520
Okay…
712
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:58,880
[Vinnie] Ooh…
713
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:01,360
[Gideon] Ooh!
714
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,080
- Hey, it's working.
- There you are!
715
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:07,040
Oh! The sickness has left me.
716
00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:08,840
- [retching violently]
- Oh!
717
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:09,920
Gideon, man!
718
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,280
[retching, spluttering]
719
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:13,480
[Ash] Christ, why is it so yellow?
720
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,920
[Dylan] I had battered sausage
with curry sauce…
721
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,800
- [squelching]
- [groans]
722
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,520
Hurry up, will you?
723
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,960
Hurry up? Do you think
I'm fuckin' wanting to be down here,
724
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:22,960
fishing through shit?
725
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,440
[Gideon] Vinnie, I feel awful!
726
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,760
- I know, sweetheart.
- I feel like it'll last forever!
727
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,360
It's not gonna last forever.
728
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,480
- Let's get you in this toilet here.
- Yes, please!
729
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,120
- [door rattles]
- [retching]
730
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,240
- Is there someone in there?
- We're busy!
731
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,480
The key best be here, man.
732
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,760
Guys, listen! No, no, no, no.
We've got a situation!
733
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,560
Gideon's throwing up in the sink!
734
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,800
Oh, we have got a situation as well,
would you believe?
735
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,840
Fuck. I've got a fucking situation,
too, dude!
736
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,080
- [squelching]
- Dig through it!
737
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,040
Dig through it? Dig through it?
What do you think I'm fucking doing?
738
00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,401
- I'm digging through it!
- You're not digging through it!
739
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:55,680
You're just going in and out.
740
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,320
- [Gideon] What are they doing?
- What are you fuckin' doing?
741
00:27:58,400 --> 00:27:59,600
[Gideon] What are they doing?
742
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,440
I don't know. It looks fucking ridiculous.
743
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:02,360
I'm coming in!
744
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,560
- No! Do not fucking come in!
- Do not come in here!
745
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:05,920
Do not!
746
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,840
- Whoa! Ugh!
- [screams] Don't come in!
747
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,920
Don't! Don't fuckin' come in here!
748
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,000
[Vinnie retching]
749
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:12,600
- Vinnie!
- [retching]
750
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,000
Right! Are we ready to set sail?
751
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:17,840
[coughing] Yeah, yeah…
752
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,600
[Dylan] Right, JJ.
We really need to make sure
753
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,480
- we're hugging that coastline.
- [JJ] Right.
754
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,280
- If we follow the coastline…
- Sorry, Dill.
755
00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:27,560
All the way to Barrow,
there's less chance of veering
756
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,280
wildly off course.
Then we can just hop across to the Isle.
757
00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:33,360
Do the fuck what we've got to do
and watch out for sandbanks.
758
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,840
Don't look at me.
Literally, stare over there.
759
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,040
- All right?
- All right, gorgeous girl?
760
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,880
- It's nice, innit?
- It's lovely, yeah.
761
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:10,640
- Do you know what it reminds me of?
- What?
762
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,240
- Titanic.
- Mmm!
763
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:14,400
It is a bit Titanic.
764
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,480
- Do you want to do it?
- Yeah.
765
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,240
- Yeah?
- Yes, I want to do Titanic.
766
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:20,600
- All right.
- [both laughing]
767
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,960
- Do you trust me?
- Yeah. Well, not really. 65%.
768
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,280
[chuckles] Right, okay,
now put your arms out.
769
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,360
All right.
770
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,200
- Close your eyes.
- Okay.
771
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,200
["My Favourite Girl" playing]
772
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:32,600
Right, now…
773
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,400
Right, open them.
774
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:39,280
[Vinnie] It's quite nice, innit?
775
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,400
It's like we're flying, isn't it?
776
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:47,880
♪ She's my favourite girl… ♪
777
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,160
- Christ, you're so beautiful… Ah!
- [Erin screams]
778
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,720
- [Dylan] Shit! Oh, my god!
- [all screaming]
779
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:53,840
JJ, I warned you!
780
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:54,760
What's going on?
781
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,520
[Dylan] I think we hit the sandbank!
782
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,160
- Vinnie! Vinnie!
- [Gideon gasps]
783
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:00,440
Erin!
784
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:01,520
Man…
785
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:05,760
I'm adjusting that percentage
by 60%, dude!
786
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,480
Chuck me the fucking ring!
787
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,200
Dickhead! What fuckin' use is that?
788
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:11,720
See you in Antarctica, love!
789
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:15,360
[Vinnie shouting and spluttering]
790
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,400
I'm coming round,
I'm coming round! Hang on!
791
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,160
[gasping]
792
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:28,520
♪ Promise… ♪
793
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,120
[Vinnie] It's bloody freezing!
794
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:31,960
Fuckin' hell.
795
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,520
[groans]
796
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,320
- Vin…
- Yeah?
797
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,000
- I've summat to tell you.
- Oh, yeah?
798
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,160
- It's about the Rat and Cutter.
- [sighs]
799
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,720
- What about the Rat and Cutter?
- I'm the new owner. [clears throat]
800
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:48,120
How does that work?
801
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,600
I got some money to set it up.
802
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:52,520
Like,
803
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,600
do proper nights. Not just about
women shaking their tits about.
804
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:59,160
- I mean, like a different vibe, you know?
- Where have you got the money from?
805
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:00,960
- I mean, it sounds dodgy.
- It's not dodgy.
806
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,200
I got… I loaned it.
807
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:04,760
I borrowed it from… Yeah, I borrowed it.
808
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,840
- You got a loan?
- Yes. I got a loan.
809
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,080
Well, where from?
810
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:10,200
The bank.
811
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:13,400
- The bank?
- Yes, I got a loan from the bank
812
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,800
to get it reopened, yeah.
813
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:17,880
- The bank gave you a loan?
- Yes.
814
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,200
- Vin!
- Where does Tommo fit in, tell me that?
815
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,440
- He is co-assistant manager.
- [laughs]
816
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,960
Oh, fuck, he's gonna lose his shit.
817
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,560
I know.
818
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,200
Vin look, it's a means to an end.
You know?
819
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,800
So I can get money together,
so I can start making plans.
820
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:37,520
- I did it at college didn't I?
- Mmm-hmm.
821
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,760
- Business, Hospitality and all that.
- I know.
822
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,440
- I'm good at it.
- I know.
823
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,240
Are you telling me porky pies?
824
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:48,080
- No.
- I hope you're not telling me any porkies.
825
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,320
Vin, I'm not lying.
826
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:54,920
I just love you and that boy.
827
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,200
I just don't want anything
happening to you, ever.
828
00:31:58,280 --> 00:31:59,400
Do you understand me?
829
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,360
- Hmm?
- Yeah.
830
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,440
[funky music playing]
831
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,080
Fuck!
832
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,400
[yells] What the fuck?
833
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,920
[Gary speaking indistinctly]
834
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,080
[bell pings]
835
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:25,360
For fuck's sake!
836
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:29,960
Huh. Dog bummers.
837
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,320
Huh! Warrant to search the premises.
Out the fucking way!
838
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,360
- Don't touch me! You creep!
- [Carl] A coffin's gone missing.
839
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,880
Violating a grave, Gary.
840
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:47,640
Undertaker.
841
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:48,920
[hisses]
842
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,680
Imagine the reaction!
843
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,560
You'll be Britain's Most Hated Man.
844
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,080
What do you think, Hoskins?
845
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,920
Er, criminal record, career over.
846
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,400
Yeah, you might be right.
847
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,360
Unless…
848
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:03,800
Unless what?
849
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:05,600
[Hoskins] I'm just thinking aloud sir,
850
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,240
but sometimes things can, er…
851
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,320
- go away.
- Go away?
852
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,480
And how would it just… go away?
853
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,000
Well, perhaps he's not
the real perpetrator?
854
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,040
Perhaps there were other people involved.
855
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:20,360
You want me to rat?
856
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,840
I want you to tell me
857
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,720
where O'Neill fits in and where he is now.
858
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,880
["Home" playing]
859
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,800
♪ Ain't nothing please me more than you ♪
860
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,320
♪ Oh, home, let me come home… ♪
861
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:37,560
- All right, so where are we now then?
- Do you want to tell him?
862
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:39,080
- Where is it?
- There!
863
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:40,800
- Ooh!
- Good lad.
864
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,800
- It's going quite well innit, eh?
- Not bad.
865
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,680
Oh, ye of little faith. [chuckles]
866
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,040
[tense music playing]
867
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,640
- [Cardi] Vin, no! It's not what...
- [Ash] It wasn't us!
868
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,480
Get the fuck outside!
869
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,240
- You fucking mug. What the fuck?
- [Cardi] Dude!
870
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:58,960
Dude, don't hit me! They're Tommo's, man.
871
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:00,960
We didn't know until it was too late.
872
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,600
Why the fuck has he brought them?
873
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,680
To sell them to Sniffy Jones
to pay the strippers!
874
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,480
- Nothing to do with us.
- I told him it was a bad idea, Vin.
875
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,040
Oi! Dickhead!
876
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,520
[Tommo] Vinnie, I can explain!
877
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,120
I don't want your explanations.
There is a little lad onboard.
878
00:34:14,199 --> 00:34:17,360
- Why didn't you tell me about that?
- I knew you'd disapprove, you see!
879
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:19,480
- So you fucking did it, anyway?
- Vinnie! Vinnie!
880
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,000
I am fucked, right?
I'm getting heat left, right and centre!
881
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,360
Have you ever dealt with
financially disgruntled women?
882
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,840
- I just fucking can't believe you've done…
- [both grunting]
883
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:28,920
[Tommo screaming] Get off me!
884
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,120
[suspenseful music playing]
885
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,320
[Vinnie] Stop… Stop it!
886
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,639
That's thousands of pills, right?
887
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:38,800
Thousands of 'em!
888
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,239
If we get caught with them,
that's years in the pen.
889
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,920
And Carl Slater will make
fucking damn sure of that, won't he?
890
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,760
Now listen, Tom.
They are gonna have to go overboard.
891
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,880
No, no, Vinnie!
Vinnie. Vinnie. Listen to me.
892
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,760
- Listen to me right…
- [grunts]
893
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,280
Fucking little bastard!
894
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,800
Come here, shithead.
Come here, you little bastard!
895
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,160
- [groans]
- Oh, shit!
896
00:34:59,240 --> 00:35:01,176
- Where have you fucking hidden them?
- [grunting]
897
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:02,720
Stop fucking about!
898
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,920
I'll put you through the fucking wall!
899
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,200
- Where are they?
- Vin, I can't fucking do it!
900
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,520
Get off me, you cunt!
901
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:10,920
[screaming]
902
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:13,040
- Come here…
- Get off me!
903
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:14,200
[both grunting]
904
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,880
- I'm not fucking about!
- [yelps]
905
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,080
Shit!
906
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:18,880
Look what you've made me do, you dickhead!
907
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:20,360
Listen to me. You don't understand.
908
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,840
Me little lad's
on this fucking boat, Tommy!
909
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:28,280
- Your lad?
- Yeah, he's fuckin' mine! All right?
910
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,160
And his dad's not going back in jail
911
00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:31,880
for love nor fucking money.
912
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,320
Never mind a load of pills!
913
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:35,920
[Vinnie sighs]
914
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,960
[sombre music playing]
915
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,400
You're my dad?
916
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:46,680
Yeah.
917
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,240
Yeah, I am, yeah.
918
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,640
I mean it wasn't meant
to come out like that.
919
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,640
But yeah, I am. I'm your real daddy.
920
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:58,640
Mum?
921
00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:01,480
[tuts] Erm, okay…
922
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,800
Right, the reason why we didn't tell you…
923
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,000
is because Mummy…
924
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,680
was with Dylan, Okay?
925
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,320
And, and Dylan
926
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,360
wanted to be your daddy as well.
927
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,080
["GMF" playing]
928
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,920
Come here a sec. Listen.
929
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,080
Just listen to me a minute.
930
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:23,920
[sighs]
931
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:26,560
Sometimes,
932
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,720
grown-ups get things
really wrong, y'know?
933
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,880
And for the longest time
I just didn't know…
934
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,720
I didn't know I was your daddy.
935
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,000
But now I do know.
936
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:45,000
And you are the best thing
that's ever happened to me
937
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:46,800
in my entire life.
938
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,440
Can I have a squeeze?
939
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,280
I love my boy.
940
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:07,880
♪ You could probably say I'm difficult… ♪
941
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,240
Shall we go and sail the boat?
942
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,000
Yeah? Come on, sausage.
Come with me, buddy.
943
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,520
Can you see any whales?
944
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,680
- No.
- Can you see any dolphins?
945
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:26,200
Can I have a kiss? Nom nom nom. Mwah!
946
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,960
I tell you what, Tyler,
you are doing such a good job!
947
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:32,560
Whoa! Straight, straight, straight!
948
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,120
Whoa!
949
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,400
[laughing]
950
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,960
♪ From the top of my head ♪
951
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:43,960
♪ Down to the tips
Of the toes on my feet ♪
952
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,960
♪ So go ahead and love me ♪
953
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,520
♪ While it's still a crime ♪
954
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:53,120
♪ Don't forget you could be laughing ♪
955
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:57,520
♪ Sixty-five percent more of the time ♪
956
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:03,320
♪ You could be laughing
Sixty-five percent more of the time… ♪
957
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:04,560
[Gary] God help me.
958
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,480
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
959
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,400
I am not there, I do not sleep.
960
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,320
I am a thousand winds that blow,
961
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,560
I am the diamond glints on the snow.
962
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:21,320
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain…
963
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:25,280
It's the fucking cops.
[shouts] Hey! It's the fucking cops!
964
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:26,960
- I am the… What?
- Eh?
965
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:29,720
- Shit!
- The police?
966
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,480
Well, we've done nowt wrong.
We've nothing to worry about, have we?
967
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,280
[gasps] Do we need a permit to bury her?
968
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,560
- Fuck me!
- What if we've crossed a border?
969
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,800
What if they think we're pirates?
What if they make us walk the plank?
970
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:41,480
- I've got my best shoes on!
- Stop it!
971
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,440
- Calm down.
- What's happening?
972
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:46,240
Nothing, nothing! We're fine, Okay?
We're fine, we're fine.
973
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,320
Tommy! Tommy. Oi, oi, oi!
974
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,480
The fucking sea police are out there!
We've gotta throw 'em over
975
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,960
- or we'll get fucking banged up, man!
- What if they float?
976
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:55,160
- Shit.
- Ah!
977
00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:57,200
Shit, this is bad,
this is really fuckin' bad!
978
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,920
Just give them to me. I'll do it on sly.
979
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,760
- Just fucking hurry up man!
- Vinnie…
980
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:02,360
If they're outside and they film it
981
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,920
and they catch you doing that,
that's you in the shit.
982
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,320
If anyone is going down for this, it's me.
983
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,440
Hang on. Hang on.
984
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:10,280
- What?
- I've got it.
985
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,000
- She is still up there.
- Mmm-hmm.
986
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,400
- The mother, she hasn't gone in yet.
- Hmm.
987
00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:17,720
Get out. Fuck, I'll do Gideon.
988
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,680
[Gideon babbling]
989
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,400
- [Erin] Oh, here's Vinnie.
- Come here, sweetheart.
990
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:25,440
- Are you okay?
- I'm all right. I was just…
991
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:26,800
Cover me so they can't see me.
992
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:30,480
I know, yeah. Yeah. I know that.
So, erm, listen to me.
993
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,360
It's just like that poem said,
innit, you know…
994
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:36,520
Do not stand by my graveside and cry,
995
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,600
- for I was not there…
- There we go, love!
996
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,400
Think of it as one last high.
997
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,400
- She died though, didn't she?
- Yes, physically.
998
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,000
- [sirens wailing]
- She was cold, stiff as a board!
999
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:47,640
[Vinnie] Dude, it's poem talk.
It means she's in there.
1000
00:39:47,720 --> 00:39:49,960
Shall we sit you down?
Maybe say a few words?
1001
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,000
- [Gideon] Okay.
- [Vinnie] All right, sweetheart.
1002
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,480
- [officer] Do not throw anything…
- Fuck!
1003
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:55,560
Bye, Mum.
1004
00:39:56,720 --> 00:39:59,120
You were the best mother
a son could ever have.
1005
00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:01,680
You were always there for me,
1006
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:03,720
through good times and bad.
1007
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,080
Like when Martin McCulloch
used to pick on me,
1008
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:08,640
and I'd come home crying.
1009
00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:10,720
- You'd wipe me tears…
- [siren blaring]
1010
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,120
- [officer] Turn off your engines!
- …and make me crumpets,
1011
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:14,680
with honey on them…
1012
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,200
And in she goes!
1013
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,960
- [shrieks] Oh, Mum!
- Goodbyes should be sudden.
1014
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,600
Bye, Mum.
1015
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,120
Should we get arrested?
1016
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,360
- Hey, yeah… why not, eh?
- [Vinnie] Good lad.
1017
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,760
Do not throw anything overboard!
1018
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:37,080
♪ Cold, cold eyes upon me they stare ♪
1019
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,200
♪ People all around me ♪
1020
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,920
♪ And they're all in fear… ♪
1021
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,520
You couldn't release them for us?
1022
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:45,600
[officer] No.
1023
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,240
Who's my special little man?
1024
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,360
- Me.
- Is it you?
1025
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:57,560
Listen to me. No matter what happens,
1026
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,360
I will never ever leave you.
1027
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,040
Do you hear me?
1028
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:03,480
All right?
1029
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,800
Go to sleep. My boy.
1030
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:12,920
I wish he were my dad.
1031
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,480
♪ Having hard times ♪
1032
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,120
♪ In this crazy town ♪
1033
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,680
♪ Having hard times ♪
1034
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:24,400
♪ There's no love to be found ♪
1035
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,960
♪ Having hard times ♪
1036
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:29,600
♪ In this crazy town ♪
1037
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,240
♪ Having hard times ♪
1038
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,520
♪ And no love to be found ♪
1039
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:43,680
♪ From my party house
I feel like meeting others ♪
1040
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:48,640
♪ Familiar faces
Creed and race, a brother ♪
1041
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:53,720
♪ But to my surprise
I find a man corrupt ♪
1042
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:59,720
♪ Although he be my brother
He wants to hold me up ♪
1043
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,360
♪ Having hard times ♪
1044
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,200
♪ In this crazy town ♪
1045
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:07,880
♪ Having hard times… ♪
1046
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,440
- We're on the way.
- What's going on?
1047
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:10,880
Something's happened with Doolan.
1048
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,600
He's been kidnapped.
1049
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,560
You won't let us down, Vinnie.
1050
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,640
We are asking you
to save a man's life here!
1051
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:18,080
[tyres screeching]
1052
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,120
We are doing this by the book, boys.
We're gonna go to them kidnappers.
1053
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:22,720
- Ah, fuck!
- [people screaming]
1054
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,720
We're going to drop that money off,
save Doolan, be bloody heroes,
1055
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,520
and off we go to Tyler's birthday party.
1056
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,560
- [tyres screeching]
- [crash]
1057
00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:44,840
When he said Isle of Wight,
do you think he meant Isle of Man?
1058
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,920
♪ I've got so much trouble in my mind… ♪
1059
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,680
- Hey, it's…
- I'm all right.
1060
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,520
♪ So much trouble in my mind ♪
1061
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,560
♪ Give me the strength to carry on ♪
1062
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:00,240
♪ Give me the strength to carry on ♪
1063
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,960
♪ 'Cause everything I got
Is just about gone ♪
1064
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,840
♪ And I think about it ♪
1065
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:12,040
♪ I think about it, I think about it… ♪
80370
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