Original subtitles

Just a minute now.

No, no, just a minute now.

If I'm not mistaken, I believe you're meant to go alone.

Why would I want to go there without you, my darling?

Well, it's one of the rules.

One imagination at a time, free from the influence of another.

Boring.

Don't shoot the messenger, babe. I'm not going to shoot the messenger.

Oh, look, come!

Another possibility.

Come. Come, come.

You must make a choice.

Mm. Actually, to be quite honest,

I would strongly recommend this one.

The gondola.

Look,

Rudolph Valentino.

James Dean.

Princess Di.

All these people…

they're all dead.

Yes.

But… immortal, nevertheless.

They won't get old, or fat.

They won't get sick or feeble.

They are beyond fear

because they are forever young.

They are gods.

And you can join them.

You are such a wonderful speaker.

I know.

Get in the boat.

Ah, one more thing.

Look at me.

This is very, very, very, very important.

Your sacrifice must be absolutely pure.

Therefore you will need to relinquish all your worldly possessions.

Oh. You mean this?

Yes. And this.

Now this one.

Got it! You're free.

You're free. Thank you.

Bye-bye. Ta-ta.

Bye.

Bye.

Prepare to be reborn, darling.

And remember…

Nothing's permanent.

Not even death.

Shit.

I um…

Have you… What if…

No, it's…

Oh.

What the hell just happened to me? How did you do that?

Oh, it was nothing.

Voilà. Oh, voilà.

Oh, oh, oh…

Oh, thank you.

That was so beautiful.

Oh, thank you, madame.

You have given me the strength to continue. Bless you.

What name?

I'll leave it blank.

WO Thank you.

Madame, you've…

Take me!

Voilà.

Fabulous.

Oh.

Oh, thanks.

One more to go and we're free.

Whoo!

Hey!

Anton!

Just wait…

Ooh!

Where are we?

Where did he go?

Boss, you speak English.

Yeah, me too.

Hi. Hello.

Today's special. “Reach for the Clouds.”

Discover your true potential.

You too can become rich, famous, celebrated.

Using no organic produce or nut-free food,

discover the power within you. Market research…

There he is! Where? Where?

…Only 30, I'm sure… After him!

I'm sure. Relax.

Smell the flower.

Quick, up the ladder! After him.

Quickly.

Oh!

WO Reach for the clouds!

Come on, achieve your potential.

It can be you.

It will be you.

It Is you!

It will be you!

It Is you!

Oh…

Get up there, quickly!

Quickly!

You idiots!

Aaargh!

Ohhh…

Waargh!

Get up! Come on!

Gregor, get up! Idiots!

I want him dead!

It's OK! It's OK, I've got you! I've got you!

I've got you!

Kill him!

Give me a chance! That's not him!

I told you that's not him!

It's not?

No, it's not. It's not. It has to be.

The boss is always right.

No, this has to be!

Wait, wait, wait! He was right. It's not me.

It has to be.

Look!

You think you fool us? No way, Jose.

No way! Stop.

Listen to me.

You stole my money.

I will make you die again.

This time… forever.

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey!

What are you…?

Excuse me!

Would you mind putting him down?

What do you think you're playing at? You're in your bedroom now?

You're playing with soldiers, with toys?

No, this is a human being!

Now, he's coming with me!

Or maybe we can settle this with some fisticuffs.

All right? Who's first? You're up.

All right. Bring it on, man.

Bring it on. Let's do this.

Let's do this.

OK? You first? You first?

You first? Relax.

Smell the flower.

Smell.

OK.

Oh, my…

'Ello, 'ello.

Hey, boys, channel that violence for the good.

Come on, join up. Come on, lads.

Join up today.

Mama!

Mama! Wait!

Wrong way! Wrong choice!

Come back!

Mama!

Come back!

Hey, Parny!

I'm going to Chicago, baby.

I'm driving a stick.

Anton!

Anton…

Wakey, wakey…

Wakey, wakey.

Anton… I need your help.

Wakey, wakey. Help me. I'm awake.

Did you see me? Yeah.

Did you? You were great.

I climbed the ladder. It was unbelievable.

I mean, I nearly touched the clouds. I felt incredible.

I've been my true self. Who are you?

It's Tony.

Tony.

Tony.

No, it's not Tony. You're not Tony. No, it's not Tony.

Use your imagination. Huh?

Use your imagination.

Listen…

I need your help.

Yeah? You know Parnassus' mind.

How do I get back to those ladders?

Is there a map?

Hey, hey, hey!

So you're Tony, right?

If you're Tony, what's the name of my chicken?

What?

Plucked.

God, you've no idea what it's like to feel, I mean, like a God.

My lungs were full of air.

Who were they? Who were those big Russian men with the fists in my face?

That's not important. It is.

Getting back to that… full body… You stole their money.

No, I didn't. You stole their money.

That's what I heard them say, with my own ears.

You're going to believe them, not me? I might.

And what are these? Explain these marks on your forehead.

I don't know. Something satanic… Devil…

Listen, those were irredeemably bad men.

Hm?

OK? And I'm essentially good.

Oh, sorry, Tony's trying to be, what,

prim? Self-righteous.

Self-righteous? Yes.

Well, you want me to be honest? Oh, yeah.

You want the truth? I'd love it.

Really? Think you can muster it up?

Do you think you can get it out of that carcass of yours?

Just for once. Just for me.

Eh?

When I set up my charity, Anton-

a charity for kids-

I needed money, and I accepted a loan from those men.

I had no ID…

I didn't know.

They laundered dirty money through the charity.

I know I was stupid.

I made a mistake…

and the kids weren't to blame.

They were the innocents.

But I…

I carry that every day.

Every day of my life.

All right.

You wanted the truth. Sorry.

Are you OK?

Thank you for that.

Where are the ladders?

Will you show me?

The clouds…

Nah.

Anton…

Hey, mate, don't leave…

Ow, ow, ow. Don't leave me here.

Anton!

Don't leave me. Come on.

I almost died today.

Don't leave me. Mate, come on.

I ju…

Oh, this…

I needed the money!

When you run a charity, you have to give lots of money away.

The red tape, the bureauc…

You have no idea what a bunch of fascists the Charity Commission is.

How many more times does he have to say sorry?

This is ridiculous. Bring him down.

Listen, Valentina. Look at me.

Why can't you see that he has betrayed us and he has fooled us all? It's so obvious.

Open the hatch! You're just jealous.

It's not funny.

I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous.

Percy, open the hatch.

Why would he wanna come down? He knows we don't like him.

Come on, you guys. Look at this stuff.

Have you forgotten how it was before he came?

No, no, I haven't forgotten, Valentina.

It was so pure. Will you please just unzip me here?

Pure?

And the women? You saw their faces when they came out.

I saw his faces, Valentina.

I saw both of his faces. He has at least two. If not more.

It's my birthday. Percy, we're supposed to be celebrating.

At least Tony remembered.

Would you please listen to me for one second?

No.

Leave it.

Let him in, it's… Tony?

No, I think not.

Sit down.

Can somebody please answer the door?

I can't stand not answering the door, or the telephone.

Drives me crazy. It's not in my nature.

I won't be able to sleep.

The knock-knock-knocking is gonna be in my head all night.

Just things like that.

Well…

you've won.

It's over.

Four rotten Russkies? And the girl from the pub.

Ahh, Sal.

She don't count. Do you, Sal?

And that's how you take your pleasure, is it?

Toying with me?

Like a cat with a mouse?

Come on. Sal didn't get to make a real choice.

You were out for the count. It wouldn't be fair.

You got four… So, you know, you get your friend Tony.

Come on.

We're even.

It's not quite over.

Not quite.

Ho-ho, look at the time.

It's almost eleven.

Dad?

What?

Oh. We're going to have to give another performance.

Now, quickly.

Er…

Get ready to move out.

Who was that? Just somebody asking the way.

I overheard you. He wasn't asking the way.

Yes. Tony! Percy!

What's going on? Not now, Scrumpy, not now.

Where's Tony? What are you hiding?

It's to do with that rambling story you started telling and never finished.

What are you hiding?

Oh, you…

I want to know the truth.

The truth?

I am thousands of years old.

I have been immortal.

And…

I did make a bargain with the Devil.

For that woman, in the story?

Yes.

Your mother.

I regained my youth and I won her.

We lived in joy.

We grew old together.

And then one day she came and told me that she was pregnant.

Imagine.

60 years old and pregnant.

It was a miracle.

But she died giving birth.

Me?

Yes.

Miracle or a mistake?

You're the best mistake I ever made.

And the bargain with the Devil?

There are two parts to a bargain.

He granted me mortality

on condition that any child I would father… would, at the age of 16, belong to him.

No.

You're just telling a story.

A cruel story.

Why should I believe it? Because it's true.

Every word of it's true. But… But there's a new wager.

All is not lost. Now, we can win, we can win.

You'll be mine again. Enough, enough!

Stop! No, listen to me, Scrumpy.

Listen to yourself!

Who are you? I don't know any more!

All my life you've filled my head with dreams.

Your dreams.

You're making deals with the Devil.

What am I?

A pathetic bet?

Another mistake?

Val! Oh, she's gone.

She's gone. Telling the truth…

Always a bad idea.

Oh, hold your tongue, you smug little pustule!

Get out of my sight and stay out!

Perhaps you'll find a midget-if you're lucky.

Valentina!

Valentina!

Valentina!

Valentina!

Fuck.

Come on.

What are you doing? Trying to save your daughter's life, sir.

Save?

How?

Well, I figured I could be the fifth soul.

See. I could take that risk, sir.

You're a good lad, Tony, but it's no use.

We still have time, don't we?

Yes, of course there's still time, but…

You know I'd never ask for anything in return? It's not in my nature.

Well, you're a saint, my boy, you're a saint, but it… it's positively useless.

Actually, there is one thing.

Um…

How about an initiation into the secrets of the trance?

Oh, I can't do that, no. What? Why not?

No, it won't work. I could do it.

You'd be a great teacher. It hurts my head.

What do you mean? Too up… Too upset.

Oh, it's not a time to be upset, sir. It's time to be happy.

I mean, think about Valentina.

Now, we need you to be in a trance for this to work.

Mm. Can you give me that?

Well… Come on. Close your eyes, come on.

Close your eyes. Think of the ocean.

The ocean going in and out.

In and… out.

Yes, in and… out.

In and out.

And in and out.

Shit!

I don't have time for this. Pull yourself together.

This is not a time to be playing baby.

It's no good. What isn't?

It's no good.

Now concentrate. Won't work.

Damn it, Tony, just… I need to calm down.

You need to calm down.

You just need to relax and try and um… think of… chocolate.

Um, melting away on a hot stove.

It's just melting, melting…

Good, good, good, good, good.

Right, stay with me, sir. Stay with me.

Oi, what's wrong with you? Duty!

Truth!

Oi. Justice!

Now, what is your problem? It's lies.

Just listen. All right now, calm down.

Bloody hell, father like daughter.

Now come here, look at me. No.

Calm down. No, no.

What is wrong? Talk to me. Lying…

Who's lying? I used to think it was precious. It's not.

What, the Imaginarium? What are you talking about?

I can't even run away. You can't even run away from what?

You wanna run away from this? Yes.

Listen, if you wanna get away, I can take you to a beautiful place.

All right? I can take you somewhere.

I can get you out of this darkness. I'll take you to the light, all right?

I'll take you somewhere beautiful.

Just you and me. Now trust me. Come with me now.

We don't have time for this. All right?

Now, it's gonna be a paradise, all right?

It's my world. It could be our world.

Trust me, it'll be perfect.

Ah, now. No, see, yeah, that's bad.

Did some light reading and found this. Can I have a look?

Valentina might be interested. We don't have time.

We gotta get inside. He's a liar!

He's nothing but a liar, Val. This was in the past.

In the present, I have to get you in there.

So come here and trust me… Shut up!

Shut up!

Val! Valentina!

No!

Aarghh! Right.

I didn't want it to get to this point, mate.

You don't believe what you read in the newspapers.

Especially The Mirror.

You were right.

The world is beautiful.

Hmm. I always dreamed you'd be like this.

Yeah?

And er… well, didn't I say you'd be happy here?

Isn't it just… perfect?

Perfect.

Hmm.

If only we didn't have to make a choice.

There doesn't have to be a choice.

Sweetheart, a rule's a rule.

Those are my father's rules.

We're free.

See? Oh.

Really? Really.

Hmm.

Well, er… I suppose you are right.

Tony, we're free if we want to be.

Let's just let the river do the choosing.

Now… kiss me.

Oh, Val, you're a very naughty girl.

You know…

I think maybe I love you, Tony.

Val.

We should lie here more often.

Get married.

Make babies.

Well, maybe this is my, er… choice. What d'you mean?

That's a child. It's not a choice.

She needs our help. Yes.

It's OK. It's OK. Come here, we'll help you.

Look, don't worry. Don't worry, come here.

No, no, it's OK, we're here to help you.

Tony, help me. She's strong. No!

Come, it's OK. Honestly, no.

No, we're friends. Come here.

Smile for the cameras, sweetheart. Lovely!

I think this is my world.

Well, sustainability's great. I mean, if you can achieve it.

The problem in most cases is you simply can't get there.

Don't you risk entrenching the need for charity by institutionalising it?

It's an unfortunate truism that charity, like poor little Olga here,

is always with us, to coin a phrase.

Ah, there you are, my darling.

Ladies and gentlemen, isn't she a wonder? Hello. Big smiles.

What's your message to the President? I wouldn't presume to have one.

I think, luckily for the Foundation, we see eye-to-eye on most things.

Tony, I had something… Oh, one sec, love.

Mr President, thank you for coming.

There he is. It's great to see you.

Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for the President.

Yes, so many suffering children.

So much opportunity to do some good, really. It'll be a big year for our Foundation.

President is getting ready to make a speech, introduce me.

Yeah. Lovely.

Talk to you tomorrow. Yes, absolutely.

I've only three words to say.

Well done, Tony.

Ah, the children. The children.

This is a vital moment for the future of the Foundation.

Children of the world depend on us. Valentina!

Valentina!

Anton? Yep.

Anton? Yes, yes, listen to me right now.

This is nothing to do with you. This is him.

Where are you? This is his imagination.

Right, call security now!

Down here, under your arm. Yes, yes.

What… Anton, what are you doing here? Look.

“Disgraced Director of children's charity, Suffer The Little Children…”.

He's lying. It's not right, he's jeal…

“…was arrested last week on charges of stealing organs of Third World children

and selling them to wealthy Westerners.”

Come back. What are you doing?

That's Anton. He's lying.

Stop! Whose side are you on?

You, you've betrayed me, haven't you?

After all we've been through. Don't you touch her!

I'll show 'em! I'll show them all, Tony. I'll show 'em all.

…Have had the courage to fight poverty…

He's a liar, he's a fraud! Come here, you little bastard!

Do not believe him. I'll kill you.

…Passion… and dedication… All right, all right…

Trying to… …careers and struggles…

Shut up! Trying to ruin my world!

Stop him!

My God. Somebody stop him.

He's a monster! Stop him!

He was being a very naughty little boy.

Christ. Mr President.

Fuck.

Right.

Stop him!

Get out of me way! Christ.

Er, exit sign?

Er, oh, no.

No! No!

No! I can't. No, no, no…

No, not good. Er…

I'm coming after you, Tony! I'm coming after you!

No, get off me.

Get off of me.

Anton! Anton!

Are you OK? Are you all right?

Val! Val, watch out!

Be careful. Are you all right?

Valentina.

Val. Val! Anton.

Anton.

Val, help me.

Hold on to me. Hold on to me, please.

Hold on!

Aaarrghh! Ohh! Ohh!

I'm sorry.

I was so wrong.

Yeah, I know, I know.

But I love you.

Who are you working for? You didn't come up with all this by yourself.

You bastard! Nah, somebody's got to you.

Somebody's paid you. Speak a little Russian, do we?

Valentina! Scrumpy! Huh?

Miraculous child, there you are.

You old bastard.

After everything we've been through.

How could you? Is this how you repay me?

I can't believe it. After everything.

And this is all your doing. Yeah, all my doing?

How could you, Doc? No, no, no, no, no.

I'm Felicity. I-I mean I'm the falicitator-the facilitator-dear boy.

I create the opportunity. It's not my fault if you're not up to it.

I'll forgive you.

Dad!

Dad!

Wake up.

Dad!

Please.

Please. Step back, miss. Step back.

Sir? Can…?

Please, miss. There's n-nothing you can do.

He's, he's d-d-dead… No!

D-D-Dead drunk.

Bollocks. Haven't we seen this guy before?

Oh, they all look the same. Aye, bloody drunks.

I hate you!

You make me sick!

This is to be my choice?

Hold your horses. There's absolutely no need for that.

That's just plain contrariness.

Oh, you really think you deserve punishment, don't you?

You have no idea. You're just a kid.

Huh!

Where have you been? I'm a woman now.

Selfish bitch.

Only fit for… Only fit for Hell.

If only.

God, stop. Your pop'd never forgive me.

That'd be a shame.

Let's dance.

Damn.

I've won.

You know it's… not exactly what I had in mind, you know.

All this.

I mean, Valentina being the fifth.

I mean, she's supposed to be the prize, not part of the final score.

Just doesn't seem fair.

I hope they get that bastard and tear him limb from limb.

But they won't.

He leads a charmed life, that one.

I've been trying to get that bastard for years.

I thought I had him this time, but, you know,

some prat always seems to come along and rescue him.

Aargh!

You know those er…

weird markings that he had on his forehead when you found him?

What is all that about?

Do they protect him or… What is it?

I've never been into all black magic stuff.

I just couldn't get the hang of it.

Can I offer you a stick of gum or a breath mint?

Oh, Jesus. I hate to see you like this, Parny.

I mean…

I tell you what.

If you can get me the lowdown on all those satanic markings…

Better, if you can help me wipe that self-righteous little creep

off the face of the universe…

I'll give you Valentina back.

What do you say?

Oh!

Thank God for that.

Huh?

Oh…

Huh? Oh, shit.

Give it to me.

Oh, no.

Look, I'm in a bit of a hurry.

Now just give us a second, please, everybody.

Oh!

Here's your tube and there's mine.

Mine's a cheap counterfeit, you know. It breaks so easily.

Oh, here's another.

Stop!

You're not amused?

You've been talking to the Devil, haven't you? What did he say?

No, wait, let me.

If you manage to kill me, then he'll release Valentina, right?

It's all lies. He can't release her.

He can't release her cos he doesn't have her.

He doesn't have her because she's the prize.

He still doesn't have the five wins.

But if you kill me, he will, won't he?

Then you'll have lost Valentina forever.

Choose.

This is ridiculous! Choose!

Right.

That one.

Sure you made the right choice?

Oh, look…

Let's find out.

Voilà.

Jesus! Spit it out, you old goat.

Gotcha!

Thank you all for coming. It's been a splendid success.

Uh…

Round the neck.

Hey!

There are three cardinal rules, Mr Nick.

There is no black magic, only cheap tricks.

And I forget the others.

Now where's my daughter?

Oh, for Christ's sakes.

How should I know?

You're her father. You're her loving father.

I mean, she is free, isn't she?

Jesus.

And the years roll on.

Winds still blow.

Snows still fall.

Fires…still burn.

And yet…

everything has changed.

Is that my punishment?

Am I never to find her?

Please stop.

No more choices.

No more choices.

So you found her?

Yes.

Yes, I found her.

I think…

she may have a daughter.

You're not going in there, are you?

You wouldn't want to scar a child for life, would you?

Look at you.

No.

Ohh.

The Great Doctor Parnassus.

You're an utter disgrace.

This is gonna take some time.

Oh, Percy.

What would I do without you?

Get a midget.

Let Doctor Parnassus open your imagination.

Transcend heights on Beauty's open wing

and be transported to worlds you've never dreamed of.

Does it come with a happy ending?

Sorry, we can't guarantee that.

Ladies.

God bless you, son.

Get back to work.