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1
00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:05,170
- Hi.
- Hi! Hi, Ben.
2
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,506
- Hi.
- We have a bathroom emergency.
3
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,217
- Oh, yeah. Go ahead.
- Okay, uh, before we do...
4
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:14,596
...uh, are any of Joey's special
romance magazines in there?
5
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,643
- No.
- Okay, all clear.
6
00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,645
BEN:
Thanks, Phoebe.
7
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,399
That's Rachel.
8
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,443
- But whatever.
- Mm-hm.
9
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:28,861
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
10
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,155
Could you do me a big favor?
11
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:34,158
The, uh, dean's office called
and said there was an urgent meeting.
12
00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,535
Can you watch Ben for an hour?
13
00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:40,414
- Well, what about Monica?
- Uh, she isn't home.
14
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:44,585
So it would just be me alone?
15
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,672
- Well, Ben would be there.
- No...
16
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:50,758
Huh. Um...
17
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:53,469
- What's the matter?
- Well, uh, you know, it's just, uh...
18
00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:56,764
I've never done that before.
Me and him, alone.
19
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,474
He's not an ex-con.
20
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,851
Okay, okay, okay. Um...
21
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,979
- What do I do with him?
- I don't know, talk to him.
22
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,148
Entertain him. Keep him alive.
23
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,566
[SCOFFS]
24
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:10,444
- Okay.
ROSS: Okay, Ben, come here.
25
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:14,865
I'm gonna leave you here with
Aunt Rachel for about an hour, okay?
26
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,075
Gonna be okay?
27
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,285
- I think so.
- I wasn't talking to you.
28
00:01:57,158 --> 00:02:00,119
What about the second minister?
I kind of liked him.
29
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:04,414
- You mean the spitter?
- Come on. He wasn't that bad.
30
00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:07,251
Easy for you to say,
you'd be wearing a veil.
31
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:11,922
- And the third guy?
- He kept staring at your chest.
32
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,882
Can you blame him?
33
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,845
I don't like the idea of me saying, "I do"...
34
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,180
...while he's thinking, "I'd do it too."
35
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,352
- Well, then we still have a problem.
- With what?
36
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,521
We need someone
to perform our wedding...
37
00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,857
...and they're all either
boring or annoying...
38
00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,359
...or keep staring at the ladies.
39
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,781
Ooh, you should have one of us do it.
40
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,118
We're getting "married" married,
not "6th-grade" married.
41
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,704
No, it's a real thing.
42
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:47,833
Anyone can be ordained on the Internet
and perform weddings and stuff.
43
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,585
I call it!
44
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,629
What? It was my idea!
45
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:56,133
Thank you very much,
but neither of you is marrying us.
46
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,468
Does calling it not mean
anything anymore?
47
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,139
We're having a legitimate clergy member.
48
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,975
And when I say legitimate, I mean gay...
49
00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:07,811
...and in control of his saliva.
50
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,201
Ben, you know, when, uh...
When you were a baby...
51
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,328
...we'd hang out all the time.
52
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,288
Because I was your daddy's girlfriend.
53
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,624
But you're not anymore.
54
00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:33,503
- No, I'm not.
- Because you guys were on a break...
55
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,839
Hey, we were not on a... Okay.
56
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:43,096
- When's my daddy coming back?
- Fifty-two minutes.
57
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,058
[RACHEL SIGHS]
58
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,270
So no brothers or sisters, huh?
59
00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:53,357
You know what, I had two sisters
and we just tortured each other.
60
00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:57,819
- Really? Like how?
- Well, you know, we would, um...
61
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,530
We'd repeat everything the other said...
62
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:04,326
...or, uh, we'd jump out of closets
to scare each other...
63
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:08,288
...or, ha, switch the sugar for the salt
so they put salt on their cereal.
64
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,623
That's a good one.
65
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,418
- Yeah, you like that one?
- Yeah, you're funny.
66
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:14,628
[RACHEL GASPS]
67
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,046
I'm funny?
68
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,048
Oh, thank God.
69
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,008
Well, hey, I got a ton of these.
70
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,427
Um, you, uh... You take a quarter...
71
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,179
You take a quarter...
72
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,891
...and you blacken the edge, right?
73
00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:31,520
And then you say,
"I bet you can't roll this quarter...
74
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,064
...to your chin without it leaving your face."
75
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:39,611
And when they do it, they're left with
a line down the center of their face.
76
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,697
Can I do it to you?
77
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,742
Yeah, I'm funny, Ben, but I'm not stupid.
78
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,327
Heh, okay?
79
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,501
So did you, uh,
find anyone to marry you guys yet?
80
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:57,963
No, but "Horny for Monica" minister called...
81
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:01,216
...wondering if we're still together.
82
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,554
- We'll never find anybody.
- Then let me do it.
83
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,639
- Joe...
- No, I've been thinking.
84
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,059
I'm an actor, so I won't
get nervous in front of people.
85
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:14,813
I won't spit and I won't stare
at Monica's breasts.
86
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,275
Everyone knows I'm an ass man.
87
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,862
- That is true.
- And the most important thing...
88
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:25,574
...is it won't be some stranger
who barely knows you.
89
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:29,369
It'll be me. And I swear,
I'll do a really good job.
90
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:33,040
Plus, I love you guys
and it would really mean a lot to me.
91
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,376
Might be kind of cool.
92
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,795
- So I can do it?
- Yeah, you can do it.
93
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,047
All right! Okay!
94
00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:41,923
[JOEY LAUGHING]
95
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:44,468
Okay, I gotta get started
on my speech.
96
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,011
Wait a minute.
97
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:49,639
- Internet ministers can still have sex?
- Yeah.
98
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,310
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
99
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,020
Coming.
100
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:06,239
I have a bone to pick with you.
101
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,868
- Uh-oh.
- Yes.
102
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,412
Ben learned a little trick.
103
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,460
- Oh, did he pull the old...?
- That's right, that's right.
104
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,631
Saran wrap on the toilet seat...
105
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,759
...so the pee goes everywhere.
106
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,971
- Oh, that.
- Yeah, that.
107
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,474
You know I hate practical jokes.
108
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,645
They're mean, they're stupid
and I don't want my son learning them.
109
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:41,274
Oh, come on. Saran wrap on the toilet seat?
Isn't that just a little funny?
110
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:42,776
- I was barefoot.
- Oh.
111
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,361
[LAUGHS]
112
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:48,573
Tell me, the toilet thing is the
only thing you taught him, right?
113
00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:53,745
Yes.
114
00:06:56,749 --> 00:07:00,419
- Hey.
- Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani.
115
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,754
- You got ordained?
JOEY: Yeah.
116
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:06,508
Just got off the Internet.
Man, there's a lot of porn out there.
117
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,178
Our minister.
118
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:13,306
I started on what I'm gonna say
for the ceremony. Want to hear it?
119
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:16,476
- Yeah.
- Listen, this is just the first draft, so...
120
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:17,811
[JOEY CLEARS THROAT]
121
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,773
"We are gathered here today
on this joyous occasion...
122
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:25,986
...to celebrate the special love
that Monica and Chandler share.
123
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,946
Huh? Right.
124
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,992
It is a love based on giving and receiving...
125
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,828
...as well as having and sharing.
126
00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:40,208
And the love that they give and have
is shared and received.
127
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,880
And through this having and giving...
128
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,300
...and sharing and receiving...
129
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:54,055
...we too can share and love and have...
130
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,600
...and receive."
131
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,605
Should we call the spitter?
132
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,692
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
133
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:12,324
- Ha! Hey, Rachel.
- Hi.
134
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,993
What a surprise.
What are you doing here?
135
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:17,954
I was just in the neighborhood...
136
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:21,750
...and I passed by your building
and thought, "What's up with Carol...
137
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,418
...and sweet little Ben?"
138
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,628
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
139
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,047
- That's nice. Well, uh, come on in.
- Okay.
140
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,258
Um, I'll make some coffee
and, uh, we can chat.
141
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,344
I'd love that. I would love that.
142
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,887
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
143
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,973
So, uh... So where is sweet little Ben?
144
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:38,433
I would love to have a little...
145
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,185
[BOTH YELL]
146
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:42,687
[RACHEL SIGHS]
147
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:43,980
I found him!
148
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,357
[RACHEL CHUCKLES]
149
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,400
Very funny. Come here.
150
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:51,446
That is exactly why I've come here
to talk to you, okay?
151
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,157
CAROL: Rach, you want some sugar?
- Yes, but...
152
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,700
Do I want sugar in my coffee?
153
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,666
No, just some milk would
be good, Carol. Thanks.
154
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,835
Okay. Remember all that stuff
I taught you yesterday?
155
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:09,047
"Remember all that stuff
I taught you yesterday?"
156
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,550
- Don't do that.
- "Don't do that."
157
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:15,720
- Your dad doesn't like pranks.
- "Your dad doesn't like pranks."
158
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,014
- Oh, damn it.
- "Oh, damn it!"
159
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,517
No! Don't say that.
160
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,394
- Damn it!
- Go back to repeating.
161
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,187
- Damn it!
- Oh, crap.
162
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,606
- "Oh, crap!"
- Oh.
163
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,947
Okay, I got some more written, ready?
164
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,157
[JOEY CLEARS THROAT]
165
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,368
Yeah, okay.
166
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:43,164
"When I think of the love that these
two givers and receivers share...
167
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:48,336
...I can't help but envy the lifetime
ahead of having and loving...
168
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:52,841
...and giving..." And then I can't
think of a good word for right here.
169
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,802
- How about "receiving"?
- Yes!
170
00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:01,766
See, Joe, not that that's not great...
171
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:06,396
...but one cool thing about having
a friend perform the ceremony...
172
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,315
...is that it can be about us.
173
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:12,027
It can be more personal.
You can tell stories about us.
174
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,361
Ooh, ooh.
175
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:17,699
Uh, okay. Maybe I'll talk about London.
You know, when you two hooked up.
176
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,660
Only I won't say "hooked up"...
177
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:23,997
...I'll say, "began their beautiful journey...
178
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,666
- There you go.
...by doing it."
179
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,755
- Joe.
- Okay, all right, um...
180
00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:35,634
So, uh... So how did it happen?
Did your eyes meet across the room...
181
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,512
...then you're in the bathtub
and she's feeding you strawberries?
182
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,309
- Isn't that what happened to you?
- Yeah!
183
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:49,064
I call that "London style."
184
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,025
That didn't happen with us.
185
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:56,029
Ooh, but maybe you should say it is,
because "London style" sounds nice.
186
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,238
Yeah.
187
00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,366
Okay, uh...
188
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:04,162
I was sad that night because
this guy thought I was Ross' mom.
189
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,372
Ah.
190
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:08,958
And Chandler was really sweet
and he consoled me...
191
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,878
...and we drank too much.
- Yeah, baby.
192
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:18,927
I was a gentleman and I walked her
to her hotel room and said good night.
193
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:20,637
Oh.
194
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:24,474
- But then, later that night...
- Yeah, baby.
195
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,980
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
196
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,401
Hey.
197
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:38,196
Cute P.J.s. Really living it up
here in London, huh?
198
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:43,618
Well, I wasn't exactly
expecting company after...
199
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,121
...9:15.
200
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,331
Is Joey here?
201
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:53,002
Last I saw he was with a bridesmaid
and a bucket of strawberries.
202
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:57,590
So, uh, you're not still upset
about what that guy told you, are you?
203
00:11:58,592 --> 00:11:59,926
Wouldn't you be?
204
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:04,264
It's been a really emotional time
and you've had a lot to drink...
205
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,182
You have to let that go, okay?
206
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,477
You were the most beautiful woman
in the room tonight.
207
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,563
Really?
208
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,233
You kidding? You're the most
beautiful woman in most rooms...
209
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:25,744
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on?
We just made out.
210
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,288
- We're making out?
- Not anymore.
211
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:32,876
- But we don't do that.
- I know, I thought it would be fun.
212
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,170
How drunk are you?
213
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:40,467
Enough to know I want to do this.
Not so much that you should feel guilty.
214
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,386
That's the perfect amount.
215
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,100
[BOTH MOANING]
216
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,437
- You know what's weird?
- What?
217
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,064
- This doesn't feel weird.
- I know.
218
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:58,777
- You're a really good kisser.
- Well, I have kissed over four women.
219
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,195
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
220
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,406
- Want to get under the covers?
- Mm-hm.
221
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,783
Okay.
222
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,752
Wow, you are really fast!
223
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,047
It bodes well for me
that speed impresses you.
224
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:23,092
- We're gonna see each other naked.
- Yep.
225
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,471
- At the same time?
- Count of three?
226
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,557
One, two, three.
227
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:38,233
Well, I think it's safe to say
our friendship is effectively ruined.
228
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,777
- Eh, we weren't that close anyway.
- Eh.
229
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,865
Joey, Joey, Joey. It's Joey.
230
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,661
Hey.
231
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,372
Hey, Joe. I was just watching a movie...
232
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,795
Oh, dude, I'm so sorry.
233
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,548
No!
234
00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:04,175
It's cool, I'm still with my bridesmaid.
235
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,969
Where are the condoms?
236
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,012
In my bag over there.
237
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,389
Ah.
238
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,061
Uh...
239
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,563
...could you leave me one?
240
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,900
For just you?
241
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:23,862
Yeah.
242
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,534
All right. There you go, buddy.
243
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,661
Go nuts.
244
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,124
That's what that was?
245
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,710
Can you imagine
if I hadn't left you that last one?
246
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,254
You two might've never gotten together.
247
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:44,924
Oh, ooh. Can you imagine if I had sent
that hooker up, like I was gonna?
248
00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:49,679
- It's like it was in the stars.
CHANDLER: Hmm.
249
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,347
Yeah, totally meant to be.
250
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:55,268
Tell him who you originally
wanted to hook up with that night.
251
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,854
- What?
- What?
252
00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,647
What?
253
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,402
Who did you originally
want to hook up with?
254
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:08,156
Okay, fine, but please don't be upset.
255
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:12,619
I was really depressed, okay?
And really drunk.
256
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:17,332
I wanted something stupid
and meaningless. I just wanted sex.
257
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,668
So when I went to your room that night...
258
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:24,255
...I was actually looking for Joey.
259
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,263
Yeah, baby.
260
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,225
No, baby.
261
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,853
Oh, my God.
262
00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,897
You came looking for Joey?
263
00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:45,443
- Were you planning on telling me this?
- No, I didn't think it was important.
264
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,404
It's not important? It's not important?
265
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,783
If it wasn't for a bridesmaid,
you'd be marrying him.
266
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:56,579
No! Do you know how unbelievably
glad I am that Joey wasn't there?
267
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,331
Hey!
268
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,543
I'm a man of the cloth
but I still have feelings.
269
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:07,757
There's no way you're doing
this wedding now, okay?
270
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,594
What? That's not fair. It's not my fault.
271
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,388
I was with my bridesmaid.
272
00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:15,682
And who's to say I would've said yes?
273
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:18,059
I mean, I would've said yes.
274
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:22,355
Look, you are making way
too big a deal out of this.
275
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:24,232
Everything worked out okay.
276
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,817
It's just weird, okay?
277
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:30,029
I don't want to be saying my vows with
the mental image of you and Monica.
278
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:33,449
I need... I don't know what I need.
I need a walk.
279
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:37,161
- Wait, Chandler, it's not a big deal.
- It is to me.
280
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:40,665
You wanted to sleep with Batman
and settled for Robin.
281
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,715
- This is crazy.
- No, Robin is so gay.
282
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:55,471
- So now what have we agreed?
- No more pranks.
283
00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:59,267
- What else?
- You and Daddy were not on a break.
284
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,560
Very good.
285
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,066
Rachel, what are you doing here?
286
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:10,486
I'm just visiting my good friend Carol.
287
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:13,406
- Your good friend?
- Yeah.
288
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,241
What's her last name?
289
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,120
Carol...
290
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,456
...Lesbian.
- Nice.
291
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:27,670
By the way, that, uh...
That line down my face...
292
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:34,135
The line that prompted a student
in my last class of the day to say:
293
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,262
"Dude, don't you ever wash your face?"
294
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,516
I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
295
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,895
I don't want you teaching my son
that stuff anymore.
296
00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:45,938
- Okay?
- Fine. Fine.
297
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:49,859
Once I taught him that stuff,
he called me "fun Aunt Rachel."
298
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,111
And I loved being fun Aunt Rachel.
299
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,238
[RACHEL SIGHS]
300
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,741
I'm glad you guys were bonding but...
301
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,077
Look, he doesn't have any siblings.
302
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,621
Somebody has to teach him this stuff.
303
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:05,625
I haven't taught him anything
a normal 6-year-old doesn't know.
304
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,919
BEN: Crap!
- I gotta go.
305
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,968
JOEY: Hey.
- Hey.
306
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:20,807
You want this scone? It came for me
but it would rather sleep with you.
307
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,851
Nothing even happened.
308
00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:27,688
I just... I don't want you to be upset.
309
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,649
How can I not be upset?
310
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,985
I finally fall in love
with this fantastic woman...
311
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,488
...and it turns out she wanted you first.
312
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,574
Yeah, for like a half an hour one night.
313
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,661
Chandler, she wants you
for the rest of her life.
314
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:47,208
We look at you and we see you together,
and it just...
315
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,753
It fits, you know?
316
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:54,590
And you just know
it's gonna last forever.
317
00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:59,512
That's what you should say.
318
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,306
What?
319
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,186
When you're marrying us,
that's what you should say.
320
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,982
Really? I could do it?
321
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,484
I'd love you to do it.
322
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,028
Hey.
323
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,952
But those are the words.
Those exact words.
324
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:26,414
Well, I don't remember exactly...
325
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:33,171
...but it's pretty much about having
and giving and sharing and receiving.
326
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:39,510
- Hey.
MONICA: Hey.
327
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:42,763
- So you guys doing okay?
CHANDLER: Yeah.
328
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:47,018
We talked and Monica made me see
that I overreacted a little bit.
329
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:51,480
- Some things are more important.
- Yeah, baby.
330
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:57,486
I'm really glad you guys are okay,
but I just keep thinking...
331
00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,907
...what would've happened
if you two had hooked up.
332
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,828
Honey, dinner's ready!
333
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,253
What's my little chef got for me tonight?
334
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:16,797
- Your favorite.
- Ho, ho, ho.
335
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,674
Fried stuff with cheese.
336
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,259
Yep.
337
00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:21,969
And lots of it!
338
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,304
[JOEY CHUCKLES]
339
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,847
Thanks, sweetheart.
340
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:27,975
Give me a little sugar. Okay.
341
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,185
[JOEY SIGHS]
342
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,478
MONICA:
You wanna go...?
343
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,980
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
344
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,733
[JOEY SIGHS]
345
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:39,111
How you doing?
346
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,203
- Hey.
- Hey!
347
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:52,083
I'm sorry to do this again,
but could you look after Ben for a bit?
348
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,960
I've got this meeting at school...
349
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:57,088
...and he asked for his "fun Aunt Rachel."
350
00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,091
Well, of course I will watch him.
351
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,301
We have fun, don't we, Ben?
352
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,681
- Okay. See you later, pal.
RACHEL: Okay.
353
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,140
[LAUGHS]
354
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,977
Wait a minute. Ben, I can't do it.
355
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,854
- You got something on your back.
- What?
356
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,191
That's great. That is great.
357
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,819
What did we just finish
talking about, Ben?
358
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:22,947
"What did we just finish
talking about, Ben?"
359
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,241
That's it! Come here!
360
00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:28,035
- You're in big trouble, young man!
- No, wait.
361
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,413
Ben, come here! I am not kidding!
362
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:31,914
You guys, hold it. Seriously...
363
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,207
[ROSS SCREAMS]
364
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,583
Oh, my God!
365
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,102
[English - US - SDH]
27685
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