All language subtitles for Flack.S01E05.HDTV.x264-MTB

Synced & corrected by reggielist
www.addic7ed.com

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome aboard this flight 1506

from London, Heathrow, to JFK, New York.

Currently third in line for takeoff,

we're expected to be in the air
in approximately ten minutes.

Excuse me, do you mind...

Please turn off all
personal electronic devices,

including laptops and mobile phones.

Smoking is prohibited.

It is... It definitely is.

So, what were you supposed to do?

The poor man paid for business class

so he didn't have to have dickheads
like us coming up to him

and ruining his journey.

Oh, he won't mind.

Surely, it's nice when people come
up to you and say nice things.

It's annoying.

Why is it annoying?
I wouldn't find it annoying.

Who's going to come up to
you and say nice things?

I don't know, but if they did,
I wouldn't find it annoying.

- It's probably not even him.
- It's definitely him.

You can't say for definite.

It's probably just someone
who looks like him.

Look, his nose is different.
It's bigger.

Your nose gets bigger when you
get older. Everyone knows that.

It's definitely him.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna go and say hello.

- No, don't.
- Why?

Don't! Arabella!

Hi!

Hi, um, I'm really sorry to bother you.

I know this is really sad. And...

Are you Calvin Cooper?

I might be.

I'm gonna sound like such an idiot.

But my mum is a huge fan of yours!

She has all your films at home.

Your mom?

God, this is weird.

I don't normally do things like this,

and now I'm here, I don't
actually know what to say.

God, I sound like such a weirdo.
I'm sorry, it's just...

Maybe you could sign something.

What would you like me to sign?

I don't know, I don't even have a pen.

Um, I haven't really
thought this through.

Tell you what?

Maybe once we get up in the air,

I'll let you suck me off
in the bathroom,

how's that sound?

Seatbelt sign's on.

Probably best get back to your seat.

I'll get you a photo.

- Mmm-hmm.
- Really?

Did you see the look on her face?

Jesus, Calvin.

Haven't you picked up a newspaper
in the past couple of years?

How many times do we need to go
through this? You can't say that shit.

You know, the amazing thing is, three
times out of ten, it actually works.

Used to be eight out of ten.

I don't know if that's
about me or society.

The march of progress.

Come on, lighten up.

She deserves it after pulling
that crap about her mom.

Cheeky little bitch.

- You should get some rest.
- Okay, Grandma.

Ah. I should get a proper drink.

That's what I should get.

Ruth please just let me know
where you're at. Thinking of you. Rx

Are you awake?

Just getting on a flight to
NYC, back in a few days,

maybe we can get a coffee. Love you Rx.

Please call me back babe, I
just want to talk to you. Rx

Hi, can I have a drink, please?

Refreshments will be
available after takeoff.

We're in business class.

I'm sorry, as soon
as we're in the air...

Do you recognize me?

Excuse me?

I'm sorry, I don't wanna...

I don't wanna make a scene,

but I fly a lot on your airline.

And I drop 2.5k

to travel business class on this flight

which I am taking to collect
a humanitarian award

for all the charity work that I do.

I don't want to toot my own horn,

but I'm an important person

and I know a lot of
other important people.

So, uh, Janet,

if you could find it in
your heart to hook me up,

I am a nervous flier,

and I would just like a small
drink to settle me down.

I don't need a glass.

Just slip me a couple of
miniature JDs, we'll be golden.

Thanks.

Fucking trolley dollies.

I'm sorry, did you want one?

No, I'm good.

Just cheap bastards, aren't they?

Couldn't pony up for first
class, I mean, look at this.

It's not the way it used to be.
The way they squeeze you in.

Any prick in a suit flies business.

It's not like the old days,
you had to be someone.

Sam: Safe flight, text
me when you land x

Is that your man?

Yup.

- You married?
- No.

- Kids?
- Not yet.

Still have time for me then, huh?

Wow.

You don't like me, do you?

- What do you mean?
- Oh, come on.

I've had warmer conversations
with my ex-wife,

she's been dead for 11 years.

You just have to know how
to handle me, that's all.

Now what do you do? Do you draw straws?

- Excuse me?
- To see who gets stuck with old Cal?

Calvin, working with you
is always a pleasure.

Oh!

You should work in PR.

You know, I'm not that bad.

I mean, I've been with
Caroline almost 20 years.

Okay. I like to, you know,
push a button or two

and she sends me these
ditzy little posh girls

who nod at me like
Indian carpet salesmen

and have teeth like refrigerator doors,

but they've had their whole lifetime

you know, having it easy.

They deserve a tough time.

Once in a while, don't they?

I mean, if someone's gonna
let you push your luck,

you push your luck,
you know what I mean?

Yeah. I do.

I mean, someone has to lie down in
order for you to walk all over 'em.

Don't worry, Calvin.

I won't be lying down.

Well, that's a shame.

So what's your story?

Yeah, you didn't ride in from
Knightsbridge on your pony?

No, I did not. Um...

South African mom, American dad,

grew up in Philadelphia.

I had an aunt from Philadelphia.

Tough broad.

The kind of woman you'd send
in to break up a prison riot.

Sounds like my kinda lady.

You're a peach.

Never let it be said
that being an asshole

doesn't get you what you want.

No thanks.

Oh, come on.
Don't abstain on my account.

If I had to sit next to
me for an entire flight,

I would take what I could get. Do it.

Mmm. Nostrovia.

Oh, shit.

Oh, God.

What the hell, I hate...
I hate blocked numbers.

They make me paranoid.

I'm really sorry, sir, you're
gonna have to turn off the phone.

It'll just be two seconds.

I'm afraid we're about to take off.
Like I said, two seconds.

Excuse me, sir, is there a problem?

Not that I'm aware of.

I'd just like to answer my phone,
if that's all right with you.

All mobile devices must be switched
to airplane mode for the duration.

What's gonna happen? We're
sitting on the fucking tarmac.

We can't exactly fall out of the sky.

They'll leave a message.
I'm sorry about that.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is your captain.

There's a bit of congestion in front
of us, but we hope to be on our way.

So how did a Philadelphia girl
end up in this game?

I enjoy it.

It makes the most of my natural talents.

Which are?

Lying and drinking.

Ran away to the big city,
seeking fortune and glory.

Something like that.

Why?

- Why what?
- Why'd you run away?

Do you care?

Do I have to?

Look,

we're stuck together
for the next seven hours.

We might as well get to know each other.

I'll go first.

I was born in

butthole nowhere...

...to a half-Irish dad who sold cutlery

and hated his life.

Mom bagged groceries,

and just stayed out of his way.

I was always the...

Smartass little punk. Just...

How I ended up doing this.

I started off in the
theater in New York.

I loved it.

The smell of it, women.

Mmm...

Makeup.

Sweat, cigarettes.

Women.

I mean, I had no idea what I was doing.

But it didn't matter.

I... I grew a beard,
I started chain-smoking pot,

and I just growled my way through it.

I mean, no craft in sight.

And all the theater snobs
were up in arms

but everybody else,

they just went crazy for it.

'Cause they were looking
for something real.

You know? That... That was
the thing in those days.

You had to be authentic.

And these days,

character actors. What, he's like...

Just the fat friend you know,

and wants to have sex with.
But back then,

front and center.

And the bigger asshole you were,

the more authentic it was.

And if there is anything that I do well,

it's... Be an asshole.

I mean, screw vocal warm-ups.

You wanna be taken seriously?

Spend your morning dropping
acid and banging hookers.

I mean, can you imagine that these days,

with these pretty little pricks,

with their... their arms, and their...

Their tights. They're not
allowed to eat any carbs,

and are always terrified
they're gonna get in trouble.

With people like me?

You're the ones who get us
out of trouble, aren't you?

Go ahead.

What? That wasn't free.

Okay.

Um...

My mom never worked.

She was one of those women that
just got men to do things for her,

if you know what I mean.

I know exactly what you mean.

So after her and my dad got married,

she never had a job.

I mean, she tried a couple of times,

never lasted.

So my dad had to work his ass off

to keep us going
whilst she did her thing,

and everybody loved her.

Except the people who love her.

- You still with me?
- You kidding me?

It's gonna be on my tombstone.

So, as soon as I could,
I got myself this job

at a deli counter,

a few blocks up from our house.

And I'm working with this
older woman one day,

and I have a flashback.

And suddenly, I'm, like, five years old

and I'm watching my mom buy
pickles off the same woman.

And I knew it was her, 'cause she had
this weird growth on her eyelid,

that looked like a Rice Krispy,
and my sister was scared of her

'cause she thought she was a witch...

And it just suddenly hit me

that this woman had spent my entire life

selling pickles.

I'd gone through puberty,
lost my virginity,

learnt to drive.

I got kicked out of high school.

And during this entire time,

she'd just been there selling pickles.

I mean, fuck me. So I got on a bus.

Good for you.

I met Caroline when I was
waitressing at a function.

She was running the New York office.

She was looking after a client,

he got a bit greedy with the champagne

and decided to go for a swim
in the chocolate fountain.

I helped sneak him
out of the service entrance.

A week later, I showed up at her office,

and asked for a job.

She let me make coffee for a month.
For free.

I admire that. That's... That's...
The little hustle.

It's a dying art these days.

Caroline moved back
to the London office,

and asked if I wanted to come.

My sister was already there, so...

Nothing to keep you in New York?

Nothing.

See, told you they'd leave a message.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we do apologize for the delay.

There's just been a bit of
congestion on the runway,

but we'll be in the air very shortly.

- Two seconds.
- Oh!

Jesus!

Two seconds.

Oh. Kidding me?

Ladies and gentlemen,

we are currently
next in line for takeoff,

and should be airborne in...

Daddy, I don't like it.

Oh, come on, darling, don't be silly.

I'm scared.

But there's nothing to be scared of.

Is this your first time on a plane?

How exciting.

You, know, the best bit is takeoff.
It's like a roller coaster.

What's your name?

- Penny.
- Penny.

That's a cute name. I used
to have a cat called Penny,

and you look a little bit like her.

And who is that?

Daisy.

Well, I'm Robyn. Now, can
I tell you a secret?

Can you lean in so Daddy can't hear?

Okay, so, your dad told me

that he's actually way more
scared than he makes out,

so you need to be really, really
brave to keep him distracted,

so he's not too scared. Okay?

Just sing songs, make silly faces,

tell jokes, anything you can think of,

just to make sure he's all right, okay?

And if you can do that,
I promise everything will be...

Sir.

I'm gonna need you
to return to your seat.

Sir?

...all right.

Thank you.

Sir.

Madam, the seat belt sign is on.

I'm with him. Cal?

Ma'am, this is under control.

- He's a nervous flyer.
- You need to return to your seat.

I'm trying to help.

Sir, please open the door.

- Calvin.
- Robyn?

- What?
- I'll be... Holy shit.

I thought it was you.

It's... It's Jamie.

Jamie?

This is crazy.

I was just thinking about
you guys the other day.

- Madam.
- Oh, my God. This is...

He went out with my sister in high
school for, what, like two years?

- Almost three.
- Okay.

But I'm gonna need you
to return to your seat.

- Sir.
- Calvin.

Business class. Wow.

That's... No, nice. Way to go.

- Madam.
- Please stop calling me "Madam."

I'm not a French brothel owner.

- Sir.
- Sir,

we cannot take off without
you in your seat.

Great to see you doing so
well for yourself.

Thanks.

- Sir.
- Madam.

Calvin!

Thank you.

Is that... Is that Calvin Cooper?

Uh... It was great seeing you.

- We should have a drink...
- Yeah. Great to see you.

What was that about?

You better have volcanic diarrhea

'cause if I find out you
were doing coke in there...

Hey, Cal.

Cabin crew, please
be seated for takeoff.

- I need...
- No!

We're taking off. Sit down. Sit down!

He doesn't like flying either.

I don't know what's going on with you

but you need to fold your neck in

or they're gonna throw us
off the goddamn plane.

I think something bad
might have happened.

Christ. What now? We haven't
even taken off yet.

The, uh, voicemail. It was...
It was the police.

Okay.

And they told me to call
them back immediately.

They... They said it was urgent.

- Well, I'm sure it's...
- Damn it.

That stupid Latvian bitch.

- What are you talking about?
- Uh, the...

My cleaning woman, yesterday,
she dropped my laptop in the sink.

- So?
- So, I wasn't there.

And she panicked 'cause she
couldn't get it to start,

so she took it
to the computer repair place.

And?

Damn it. I should have told
her to just march back in there

and... and get it back.

But that... How's that
gonna look? You know.

What are you telling me?

I'm just... I'm saying...

You... You know what it's like at
the moment for people like me?

It's a fuckin' witch-hunt.

It's only a computer, Calvin.

No, nothing. It's, you know...
It's... I... I didn't put it there.

- Tell me now. Exactly, please.
- Pictures.

- What sort of pictures?
- Not good ones.

- How not good?
- Really not good ones, Robyn.

Christ. About as not good as you
can fucking get. All right?

Okay, fine. It's going to be fine.
We can deal with this.

Deal with it? How are we
gonna fucking deal with it?

Research. It's research for a role.

It's a part in a film and
you've been researching it,

trying to get under the skin of
the character to understand it.

Okay.

So, we need a film, a role and a story.

We land in another six and a half hours.

If the police know, that means
people in the show know,

and if the people in the show know,

likelihood is, by now, one of our
friends in the media will know.

- Oh, God.
- So, we need our story tightly bound,

laminated and carved into fucking
stone tablets, ready to present

for the moment we land
and your phone starts ringing.

- How long have they been there?
- What?

The pictures.

I don't know.

Come on, Cal, a month? A year?

Yeah, it's a new computer. It's
probably eight, nine months.

Okay, good, that's good.

- Do you trust your agent?
- Mickey?

To the extent that he'd lie for
you, in court if necessary.

I don't know. Maybe.

Okay, is he married? Kids?

- Three.
- Great.

Do you know any stories that will
bring a swift and expensive end

to that happy union?

I'd say I know a few.

Fine. I'm sure we can rely on his help.

Sit here. Don't fuck anything else up.

What are you gonna do?

My job.

Excuse me, um, I need to make
a couple of phone calls?

You can access the onboard
WiFi to iMessage and email.

But, I'm afraid for the comfort
of our other passengers,

we do not allow voice calls

- during the flight.
- Right.

Um, it's kind of important.

I'm sorry, madam.

- Is there a passenger phone or...
- I'm afraid not, madam.

A survey in 2014 indicated that our
customers didn't actually want

the ability to use their
phones during the flight

as they enjoyed the sanctuary of quiet.

Right, got it. No phones. Thank you.

I need your credit card.

- Why?
- To access the onboard Wifi.

You have any idea
how much they charge for that?

I'm just saying.

Take it. Take it all.

Robyn, God, thanks for phoning.

I'm not calling to talk about anything.

- No, wait...
- Mark, forget it.

I don't have time to talk about it,

I don't want to talk about it.

I just need you to answer
some questions, okay?

Is there any way of
back-dating an email?

What?

Say I needed to make an email
look like it was sent months ago,

- is there any way to do it?
- What's it for?

Does it matter?

I don't know. It sounds kind of dodgy.

Mark, just answer the question.

Okay, okay, relax.
Um, just let me think.

Okay, I mean, maybe if you changed

the local clock on the computer

and then cleared the cache
so that the email was fresh

then maybe when you send the message

it would show up in your sent folder

with the amended
time and date. But really...

Clock, cache, okay.

No, no, Robyn. Just wait. We should...

- No, we shouldn't.
- Robyn.

Look, you may not need
to talk about this,

or want to listen to me,
and that's fine, okay?

But I do, so just...

The other night, I was so drunk.

- And my head was...
- Mark?

I love your sister so bloody much

- and I'm just sorry...
- Have you spoken to her?

She won't return my messages.

I mean, she's really pissed
but you two will be fine.

- And you always are, right? Okay.
- I gotta go.

Hey, can you talk?

I got to be quick.
I'm on a plane with Calvin.

Oh, shit, I forgot you were given
the suicide shift. How's it going?

I've broken through
to a whole new circle of hell.

I really need help.

What can I do?

I need a writer,
someone we've got something on,

something heavy,
like black bin bag stuff.

Anyone who will go on record to say

they've been talking to Calvin
about a project.

What project?

The one he's been recently
researching online.

Oh, Lord.

How thorough is his research?

I get the horrible feeling
it's been pretty thorough.

Christ. I just don't understand it.

All these old dudes.

I mean, how do they
even find this stuff?

I've seen my dad try
and use the computer.

He just sits there,
hitting the track pad

with his doughy paw like one
of the monkeys from 2001.

Madam, please open the door.

Just a sec. I got to go.

Okay. Leave it with me.

Were you using a mobile phone?

No, I was having a pee.

- Madam, I could hear you talking.
- I talk to myself while I pee.

It helps get things moving.

I have a shy bladder.

Well, just for your information,

toilets are not to be used
for making phone calls.

Anyone caught doing so will
have their phone confiscated

and could face criminal charges.

Understood.

Give me your phone.

- What?
- Your phone?

Well, I'll put my number in
and then you can decide

whether or not you want to get in
contact with a low-life like me,

now you're all fancy and business-class.

Oh. Shut up.

- I looked for you on Facebook.
- I'm not on Facebook.

See? That's fancy.

Okay, enough. Enough.

Look, I'm emailing you right now.

Done. Boom.

Hey, so how is Ruth?

She's... She's great.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, she's good.

Is she with anyone?

Uh, married. Kids, two of 'em.

Insane.

I just got engaged.

- Like, three weeks ago.
- Congratulations.

To Pamela Stevens.

Fuck off. Puffy Pam?

Puffy Pam.

- Fuck off.
- Seriously.

Puffy Pam's not so puffy anymore.

So, plus, we got one of these.

Little Dino.

- Now, he is puffy.
- Yeah, he is kind of puffy.

Right, he gets that from his mom.

- Here's one of them together.
- Damn.

- Puffy Pam got hot.
- Yeah, Puffy Pam got hot.

That's awesome.

How about you?

Uh, yeah, I'm with someone.

Kids?

Not yet.

Hey, look, don't get me wrong,
I mean, I love the little guy.

But, seriously, my one piece of advice

is, like, hold off
for as long as you can

'cause once those guys turn up...

It's over.

I mean, this is, like, a
three-day business trip for me

and I have never been so
excited by an empty hotel room

with 24-hour room service in my life.

? Rock n' roll

Hey, listen, I heard about
what happened with your mom.

- I'm sorry.
- Thanks.

It must have been tough on you guys.

I mean, I loved your mom,

it's just... I know how Ruth found it...

You both had a lot to deal with.

Yeah. Yeah, right.

Um, look, I've got a lot of work
I need to get on with, so...

Yeah, I mean, you don't
get to fly business-class

sitting on your ass like me, so...

Yeah.

Okay, got it.

Andrew McCormack, we helped him cover
up three illegitimate children.

Three?

Philandering, Catholicism
do not happy bed fellows make.

His wife doesn't even know about it

so he'll be pretty amenable, I'm sure.

You're a star.

I need a treatment, couple of pages,

story about a sex offender in his '50s.

If anyone asks,

it's a project that Cal's
been discussing with him

for longer than nine months.

Nine months. Got it.

And I need this in two hours.
Is that doable?

I'll be persuasive.

Tight ring around this one.
For my eyes only.

I'll be the model of discretion.

Crap. What?

I'm on the toilet.

What?

Madame, if you don't open the door,

I'll be forced to take action.

I may be incommunicado
for a little while.

Needless to say, no paper trail.

You know this is highly illegal, right?

- Yup.
- Just checking.

Please return to your seat.

Of course.

Sorry.

- Hey.
- Hey, long time no see.

Hey, check this out. I was looking
through some old photos...

Could I borrow your laptop for a minute?

Oh, uh, sure.

I need to send some
really urgent emails,

and I just had my phone confiscated.

You just had your phone confiscated?

I... I won't be long.

Uh, yeah. Of course.

Gosh, you're amazing. I will bring it
right back.

All right, take your time.
Oh, no. Wait, wait.

No, I just gotta... I'm
just gonna show you this.

God, is that really us?

- Yeah.
- Roo looks like a baby.

What happened?

Oh, we got old.

At least I did. I mean, you
barely look any different.

- Please.
- Excuse me.

- Oh, I should... I should...
- Yeah, right.

- Go, go, go.
- Thank you.

Oh, God.

Hi. Hello.

Um, I don't suppose you saw
where my friend Calvin went?

Um, I think he went to
the bathroom or something.

You know, earlier, what he said...

He doesn't really want me to...

No, no. He was just kidding.

Can I still get a picture though?

Can I have privacy?

Right. Call security.

Come on, move it.

Don't call security. Are you
some kind of plane Nazi?

- Take it easy!
- You're smoking a cigarette, Sir.

Hey, stop! Please.

Of course it's you. Right.

This is the last straw. I'll
be reporting both of you.

Okay, everyone just stay calm.

Oh, don't tell me to stay calm.

Calvin, put the cigarette out
and get back to your seat.

I'm... I'm nervous,

and this... This calms me down.

Do it now, or so help
me God, I will end you.

I need you to return
to your seat, madam.

Your behavior will be
reported to the authorities,

and you can explain it
to them when we land.

Can we just have
a quick chat in private?

I have no interest in...

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
take your hands off me!

Okay, Pan Am, listen hard, 'cause
I'm going to talk really quickly.

You're gonna climb outta my ass, and

you're not gonna report or even
mention any of this to anyone, ever.

No authorities and certainly no press.

And the reason you're not gonna
do this is because if you do,

I will own you.

By the end of the week, there will
be a headline on page 3 of The Sun

in big block capitals with
your face splashed all over.

Now that headline might be
"Flying high",

"Flight attendant
accused of drug abuse"...

It might be "Right-wing flight
attendant accused of racist outburst."

Who knows, it could even be

"Roger the cabin boy. Flight attendant
accused of buggering passengers".

That will depend on which
one of your close friends

decides to fuck you over first
for better cash

and what type of dirt I dig up on you.

And believe me, there is dirt.
There's always dirt.

Whether I need a black light
and UV goggles to find it.

And guess what, if there isn't any,

and you really are Mother Teresa,

then I'll just make something up.

Because nobody gives two cold
craps about proof these days,

that's why stories play
on the front page

and apologies and retractions
languish at the bottom of page 27.

Do we have an understanding?

Are you trying to blackmail me?

I'm not trying anything.

The word "try" implies that there
is some latitude in the outcome.

I am warning you.

Stay out of my way

and I'll stay out of yours.

Now, seeing as how you
confiscated my phones,

is there somewhere I can make a call?

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Oh, it's 9 for an outside line.

Do you mind?

Whoa.

Hey! What?

Sorry, I didn't mean...

I heard you in here, so I thought, um...

I was gonna ask, you're with
Calvin Cooper, right?

- What?
- You're traveling with him.

What's he like, nice guy? He's a c*nt.

Oh, right. Yeah, I mean, he seems...

...like a nice guy. You know, you
just get that vibe off some people.

And is he a friend of yours?

- A client.
- Client.

Look at you. Fancy.

Yeah, fancy. I'm fancy now, Jamie.

Is there something you need?

Uh...

Do you think maybe you could
get me a little autograph?

It's for Pam, it's just...

Yup, sure thing, is there something
else? Because I really need to...

Oh, no, great. Thanks. You go for it.

Hi, Melody, it's me.

Robyn. Hi, how's the travel going?

I need a story seeded.

Right, sure, okay.

Um, is there a particular journalist
you'd like me to contact, or...

It's just a media chatterpiece, so...

Simon Penchant at Metr would be good.

But you can't go to him
directly, or he'll smell a rat.

It's really delicate.

He needs to find it himself.

If I remember correctly,

he goes out with this
actress called Siobhan...

Okay.

She's in her final year at Central,

which means tonight, she'll
be drinking at the Swiss Pub

'cause it's the only decent place to
get a drink within a mile radius.

How do you know she'll be drinking?

Because she's an actor.

Look, take some petty cash,
go to the Swiss,

and sit near every
5'4" redhead you can find,

talking loudly about the fact

that Calvin Cooper is going
to be playing a sex offender,

in a new Andrew McCormack film.

Uh, Calvin Cooper, and...

- Are you writing this down?
- Yes.

Don't write it down!

Oh, okay. Sorry.

- You got it?
- Yeah, um...

How do you know it's gonna work?

Melody, if you want gossip spread,
tell it to a bunch of actors.

Gotcha.

Okay, I know this is gonna sound weird,

'cause we haven't seen each other
in, like, a hundred years.

I'm in the middle of something.

Yeah, I know, okay. Right.
But what I was gonna say is,

seeing as you're in town,

Pam and I are having some
engagement drinks tomorrow night.

It's like an hour outta town,

- and you can stay with us, - Robyn?

there'll be a whole bunch of people
from high school there.

Jamie! This is really important.

Okay, I'm just kind of important, too,

uh, to me, anyway.

Uh, it doesn't matter. Uh.

No, it's cool. It's cool. It's cool.

If you could just drop my
laptop off when you're done,

I need to finish
this report before I land.

Robyn?

Yup, I'm here.

Call Eve, tell her
I need that e-mail ASAP.

And just to give you a heads up,

it might get a bit
hectic for a few days,

so you might wanna make some space.

Right, will do.

- Robyn...
- Yeah?

Are you okay?

- What?
- Are you all right?

You sound strange.

I'm fine.

It's gonna be fine.

Ladies and gentlemen.
As you have noticed,

the captain has turned
on the seat belt sign,

as we will shortly be
beginning our descent

Please make sure your seat
belt is securely fastened,

and seat backs and tray tables are
in their full upright position.

Did you know that
planes are legally obliged

to have ashtrays in the toilets

even though you haven't been allowed
to smoke in them since the '80s.

It's 'cause in 1973,

some guy left a cigarette
in a bin and it caught on fire.

The plane crashed.
Killed 123 people. So...

Even though you're not allowed to smoke,

they still have ashtrays because
they know that people will.

They legislate for it.
They facilitate it.

Such is the inevitability
of human weakness.

This is your captain speaking.
We've begun our descent to JFK.

And weather conditions are a
little rough over New York,

so we may experience a
few bumps en route.

Uh, on behalf of myself and crew,

I'd like to thank you for
traveling with us today.

Ever get the feeling,
there's two people inside you?

The normal human being,

who is supposed to do things like...

Chat, love people, care, do Christmas...

Be a part of, some kind of
society of other human beings.

And then there's this other thing.

This goblin.

It just kind of hovers behind.

It doesn't understand,
doesn't care, just wants to...

Destroy everything and then it...

The first guy covers

and smiles and repairs,

allowing the goblin to keep doing
the terrible things that he does.

And over and over and over again,

the first guy helps the goblin
get away with it.

And the goblin can't help it.
It's his nature.

He actually wants it to stop but
the first guy won't let him...

The nice guy, who smiles and drinks tea

and goes to birthday parties
and sings fucking karaoke.

So maybe it's him.

Not the goblin, who's the real bad guy.

I mean, maybe, he's the one
that needs to be stopped.

You remember everything we discussed?

The order of information
you need to divulge?

Don't be too specific, not at first.

- Stay calm. You're innocent.
- Hmm.

It's a shock, a simple
horrifying misunderstanding.

When we land, call your lawyer.
Get him to clear his diary.

- That's it.
- What?

I mean, that's it?
You have nothing else to say?

Did I miss something?

No, I just... I feel like you're
just sitting there and judging me.

You know the really scary part,
Calvin, 'cause I'm not.

I'm thinking about which chat show
hosts are most amenable to mea culpa.

I'm thinking about what color suit
most reflects honesty and innocence.

I'm thinking about ghostwriters

and the fact that I can
already name three publishers

who would offer you a shitload of
money to tell your side of the story.

That's what I'm thinking about, Calvin.

Excuse me, hi. Sorry to interrupt.

Do you think I can get my laptop back?

It's just that it belongs to work
and I'll get in trouble if I...

- Of course.
- Thanks.

It was really good seeing you, Robyn.
Pleased you're doing so well.

Hope you're happy.

I'm Jamie.

Just a massive fan of your work,
man, seriously...

Do you think I can get a quick autograph
for my fiance? Her name's Pam.

Thank you, my man.
I really appreciate it.

Sir, you're going to
have to return to your seat.

We are about to land.

- Please, sir.
- So sorry, dude.

- Sir!
- Yup, leaving.

Thanks. Give my love to Ruth.

- Your pen?
- Uh, keep it. Souvenir.

It's a relief.

Really... It's exhausting.

Hiding, you know, this shit inside me.

I'm gonna fix it.

I really am. I'm
gonna get my ducks in a row.

I've seen things happen to...

To too many friends.

We are a different generation.

I am not saying that as an excuse.
It's just... It's a fact.

We're out of time

being sucked down a black hole.

I am sorry.

For this and, for everything.

This is a real wake up call.

It really is, and I want
to thank you, Robyn.

Because if I get through this,
it is all because of you.

Cabin crew, proceed for landing.

Oh, fuck!

Well, apologies for the bumpy landing.

The descent was a little more
turbulent than we expected.

But we would like to welcome you to
JFK, New York.

And although we are now at the gate,
please remain seated until...

- Jesus Christ.
- ...seat belt sign has been turn off.

- Seven voicemails.
- There's a plan in place.

Remain calm.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Do as we said.

...the local time...

- Oh, my God.
- What?

My brother, he was in a car accident.

That's what the
police were calling about.

Stupid son of a bitch. He was texting.
He ran into the back of a Prius.

- Is he okay?
- Crazy.

He's got, like a,
you know, a broken hip but...

Yeah, no, he's fine, he's fine.
He's stable. Jesus Christ!

Oh, my God. That's unbelievable!

Oh, don't I feel like a dumbass.

- So, the laptop?
- Oh, the la...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know.

I'll text Magda. I'll have her
pick it up, whether broken or not.

I mean, it's... It's...

It's like a Get Out of Jail Free card.

I feel like a... A cancer victim
who just got the all clear.

I'm gonna get fuckin' fucked up...
tonight!

We are gonna celebrate, baby.

I'm gonna need you to make
a couple of phone calls.

There's an agency that I use here.
They know what I like.

Crack a smile. Come on, it's good times.

This is a Christmas miracle.

Oh and, uh, we should send, uh, my
brother some fruit or something.

What a trip, huh?

Your phones, madam. I'm so sorry
about that situation earlier.

Oh, just so you know. Um, I won't
be putting any of it in my report.

- So, is everything okay?
- Of course.

Thank you.

False alarm. Stand down.

Sent. Okay, I gotta get off this
goddamn plane before I murder someone.

Hey, will you, uh...
Grab my bags, will you?

Hey, guess what? I found a pen.

Now, all I need is something to sign.

Oh, excuse me. Oh, thank you.

I would never have heard
the last of it if we had lost Daisy.

What do we say, Pen?

Thank you, Robyn.

Daddy was a bit scared when it was
bumpy but now I think he's okay.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Jamie From The Past: Good
times, nice seeing you. Jamie x

You guys are awesome.
Can I help you with your bag?

Mmm-hmm.

Hi, is that Michael?

It's Robyn. How are you?
How are the kids?

That's great. Glad to hear it.

Look, I'm gonna need
to call in that favor.

My pleasure.

You still have your
connection on the force?

- You staying in town?
- Oh, there's currently a laptop

at Edmonton PC Repair in Hampstead,

that they might want to take a look at.

Belongs to a Mr. Cooper.

Yup.

But they're going to need
to move quickly.

Okay.

Great.

I appreciate it.

Michael.

This conversation never happened.

All right?