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1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,800
God almighty, I don't
know what the world's coming to.
2
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,680
Bloody perverts.
3
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:09,480
You're overreacting, Da.
4
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:13,080
Overreacting? That lad's got no
trousers on, for Christ sake.
5
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:15,280
He has a great set of pins on him,
doesn't he?
6
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,000
For God's sake will you close that
window, we're foundered here.
7
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,560
I need aired, Mary.
I've five layers on me.
8
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:24,120
Five layers? What are you
trying to do? Change race?
9
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,360
Give us a going over
with the hairdryer, will you?
10
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,680
Indeed I will not. I've enough to be
at. Why do they keep
11
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,160
touching themselves? Because they're
artists, Granda.
12
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,600
Dirty English bastards is what they
are. No offence son.
13
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,480
SDLP leader John Hume has again
called for
14
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:38,960
cross party peace talks...
15
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,920
John's really dying
for peace, like, isn't he?
16
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,720
It's all he ever goes on about.
I hope it works out for him.
17
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,360
Aye, I sort of hope it works
out for all of us, Sarah.
18
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,600
Come on, girls, tome to hit the road
here. You've been
19
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,000
roped into going too then, son?
Roped in? Hardly.
20
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,280
He's riding Gary Barlow.
21
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,360
I am not! I just respect him
as a songwriter, that's all.
22
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,200
Aye, dead on, James, so you do.
Will we need our passports, Gerry?
23
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,440
For Belfast? I don't think so, love.
Belfast! Are we not
24
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,000
a wee bit early, Daddy? It's a two
hour drive with traffic, love.
25
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,680
This thing's in Belfast?! But it's
eight hours till the doors open.
26
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,280
Aye, we're cutting it fine all
right. Belfast! Sure, why don't you
27
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,560
just sell the wains into white
slavery and be done with it?
28
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,520
Gerry'll be with them, Da.
That's worse! Sure, they hate
29
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,320
his kind there. My kind? Pricks.
30
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,080
That is enough!
They're going to the concert, Da.
31
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,800
- That's the end of the matter.
- And, finally, panic
32
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:26,560
at Belfast Zoo today when a polar
bear escaped from its enclosure.
33
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,280
The RUC have launched
a widespread search
34
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:32,200
and have warned residents in
the local area to be extra vigilant.
35
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,080
Now will you see sense? Aye, Granda,
cos an escaped polar bear's
36
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,640
going to track us down and kill us.
37
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,280
As if Mammy's bothered about that.
38
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,160
Wise up, Mammy! As if a polar bear's
going to rock up
39
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,440
at a Take That concert! He wouldn't
get a ticket, for a start.
40
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,360
They sold out months ago.
You'd be surprised, girls.
41
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,560
Aye, thon boys would get in where
draughts wouldn't.
42
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,560
Sure, the concert's
nowhere near the zoo.
43
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,560
But he's not in the zoo anymore,
is he, simple Simon?
44
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,480
He's sauntering about Belfast
without a care in the world.
45
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,000
Aye, keep up, Gerry. What I'm saying
is, it would be quite
46
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,640
a lot of ground for him to cover.
They're quick on their feet
47
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,280
when they want to be, love. Or
someone might give him a lift.
48
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,480
Whose side are you on, Orla?
Come on, Mary.
49
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,400
If you don't let Erin go, our Mas
won't let us go.
50
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,160
Well, neither they should! And I'll
be ringing them to say as much.
51
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,160
Brilliant! I hate my life.
52
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,000
Look, girls, I know how much you
were all looking forward
53
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:27,040
to seeing This n' That. TAKE That!
But there'll be other concerts.
54
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,800
No, there won't! The fact that this
one's happening is a miracle.
55
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,280
Nobody good ever comes here cos
we keep killing each other!
56
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,840
And now we're overrun with
polar bears. Where will it end?
57
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,360
Well, I'm not letting the fat,
furry fuck ruin
58
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,920
the biggest day of my life.
What can we do?
59
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,960
Listen, girls, I've never told
anyone this before but sometimes
60
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:51,520
when Robbie's being interviewed,
it's like he's sending me messages
61
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,560
through the TV, you know,
telepathically or whatever.
62
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,400
It's like he's telling me
we're going to be together.
63
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,720
Aye, maybe don't that to anyone
again, Michelle. Ever.
64
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,480
Look, this is too important.
I'm going to that concert.
65
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,720
I'm not afraid of a fucking polar
bear! Me either! Nor me. Bastard!
66
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,840
I'll kill it with my own two hands
if I have to. Bring it on!
67
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:15,280
OK, we seem to have
gone down a weird road here, people.
68
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,920
I think we've got a bit confused.
69
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,160
We don't have to fight a polar bear.
70
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,720
And, if we did, I wouldn't really
fancy our chances
71
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,280
because, well, they're massive.
But there's five of us so...
72
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,560
The point is the polar bear's not
the one stopping us
73
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,280
going to the concert.
It's our mothers.
74
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,360
And we'll never get them
to change their minds.
75
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,000
We're not gonna try to
change their minds.
76
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,040
We're going to do something else.
What?
77
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,360
Lie our holes off.
78
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,200
We're going to get caught. I just
know it.
79
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,480
We're not going to get caught,
Clare. Because, as far as
80
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,960
our Mas are concerned, me, you and
James are at Erin's house,
81
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,880
and Erin and Orla are round mine.
But we're not round yours, Michelle.
82
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,320
We're on a bus to Belfast.
83
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,400
I can't, I cannot explain it to her
again, I'm going to scream.
84
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,440
What's in the suitcase, Michelle?
Vodka.
85
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:05,320
You've brought an entire
suitcase full of vodka? No.
86
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,880
There's some mixers as well.
I'm not a savage.
87
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,960
You can mix vodka with cider, right?
88
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,280
God I'm boiling. Is it any wonder,
Clare? What are you wearing?
89
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,920
Yeah, you look like a fucking provo.
90
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,760
I don't want anyone recognising me,
OK? Nobody's going to
91
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,920
recognise you, Clare. Clare Devlin?
Is that you? Jesus Christ.
92
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,960
Relax, Clare. It's the weekend.
93
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,320
She has no authority over us
at the weekend.
94
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,000
She has no right to question us,
95
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,560
and, if she tries to,
I'll tell her as much.
96
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,200
Morning, girls.
Morning, Sister Michael.
97
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,720
What takes you to Belfast?
98
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,680
I'm not really sure that's...
Speak up.
99
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,120
I'm not really sure
that's any of your business.
100
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:46,160
I'm going to assume that was an
ill-judged attempt
101
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,320
at humour, Miss Quinn. Yes.
102
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,360
Now answer the question.
103
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,800
We're going to the museum.
Which museum? The Ulster museum.
104
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,600
What for? A project, a history
project. What about?
105
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:56,920
Ulster?
106
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,720
A history project!
107
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,920
This web of lies we're spinning is
getting out of control now, girls.
108
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,200
It's grand, Clare.
I think she bought it.
109
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,000
Of course she didn't buy it.
She's onto us. I'm telling you.
110
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,440
My God, I'm sweltered here.
Then take it off.
111
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,160
I can't take it off. I've nothing
underneath it. What, not even a bra?
112
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,320
Jesus, Clare! You've no bra on?
Of course I've got a bra on.
113
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,040
I haven't got a bra on. Can everyone
please stop saying "bra."
114
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,240
But I can hardly parade about in
just my bra. I'm not Madonna.
115
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,480
Isn't that the truth.
What's she doing now?
116
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,080
Reading her book.
117
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,600
Now she's looking at the woman
beside her.
118
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,160
Now she's getting up.
119
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:52,920
Now she's coming this way.
120
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,200
Now she's standing
right in front of us.
121
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,520
What is he doing? Now she's asking
me. Stop talking, James.
122
00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,360
I want to sit here. What? Why?
123
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,760
Well, you're just such wonderful
company, girls, what with
124
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,080
your stimulating conversation
and your razor sharp wit.
125
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,400
Really? No, not really. The woman
next to me is eating
126
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,280
an egg and onion sandwich and the
smell of it
127
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:09,760
is enough to turn an orange march.
128
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,160
Christ, but this is heavy.
Sister, no, let me.
129
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,800
What have you got in here, girls?
It's not ours!
130
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,200
Not yours?
131
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,560
We've never see it before in our
lives. Have we, girls?
132
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,120
Never. Nope.
133
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,760
Excuse me, everyone!
Can I have your attention, please?
134
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,240
Does anyone own this red suitcase?
135
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,040
No. Now, let me be clear,
136
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,720
no-one can claim this bag,
is that correct?
137
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:34,840
That's correct.
138
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,080
I think we've got a code
red on our hands.
139
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,920
Driver, pull over!
140
00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,840
In position.
Examining suspect device now.
141
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:04,040
Sweet Jesus.
Aye, this isn't great.
142
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,240
Ach, it's not that big a deal.
They're going to blow up
143
00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:08,600
an entire suitcase of vodka,
Michelle! I know, animals.
144
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,440
Their wee beekeeper costumes
are so cracker.
145
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,120
You're unbelievable!
146
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,800
This is so itchy now! Don't blame
me! Blame the Milk Tray man.
147
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,560
This is really serious, Michelle!
People have gone to jail for less.
148
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,960
Why is this place so mental?
That's enough, James.
149
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,320
You have serious fucking anger
management issues, do you know that.
150
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,640
33 Bravo
this is 31 Alpha, over.
151
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,400
I hear you. Over.
152
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,240
All clear here. Over.
153
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,080
Roger. Let's pack it up. Over.
154
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,640
Powerful smell of vodka down here.
Over.
155
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,880
Vodka, did he say?
156
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,640
Interesting.
157
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,240
OK, we need to go.
158
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,320
We need a better plan, Michelle!
This is a great plan.
159
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,920
We cannot walk to Belfast!
How far can it be?
160
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,680
Have you ever seen Northern Ireland
on a map? It's fucking tiny.
161
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,880
I have to say I'm not overly keen
on being out in the open like this.
162
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,600
Just because of the whole
"There's a polar bear on the loose
163
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,080
"that could maul us to death" thing!
It can try!
164
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,320
Is it just me,
or is that Gypsy an absolute ride?
165
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,400
Michelle! You cannot say that!
What? They're called Travellers now.
166
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,680
You can't say Gypsy any more,
it's insulting. Is it?
167
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,440
Yes. Yes, it is. Really?
Who are they?
168
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,880
They're just people, James,
they're just people
169
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,560
that are exactly like us.
Except different. Yes. No!
170
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,360
That's actually racist, Orla.
No, it's not. They are different.
171
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,600
They're not. They live in caravans,
for a start.
172
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,760
I wish I lived in a caravan.
Me too. Caravan's are class.
173
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,760
Could you all stop being
so racist, please?
174
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:46,240
I'm a bit scared of them.
Is that racist? Yes.
175
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,240
Very much so. Is "gypsy"
even a race? Traveller!
176
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,560
How'ya, girls. Well, hello, there.
Hi. Good afternoon, Sir.
177
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,880
"Sir?" What the fuck, Clare?
Hey! Hold on! What does he want?
178
00:08:55,920 --> 00:09:00,400
I dunno. I'm talking to you! Just
walk on. Hey! Are you deaf or what?
179
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,680
Keep your heads down and keep
walking. Get back here!
180
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,560
Faster, walk faster. Am I going to
have to come after ya, am I?
181
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,760
Jesus Christ, he's following us.
Holy fuck! Run! What?
182
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,320
He's obviously a psychopath! Run!
183
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:20,400
He looks fucking raging. I don't
want to die! I don't want to die!
184
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,040
This is some craic, isn't it? Holy
shit, they're fast!
185
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,720
Get off! What? Back off, you heard
me, I'm not messing around
186
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,120
with this thing. We mean you
no harm, Sir.
187
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,440
Seriously, Clare, the "sir" thing,
just pack it in.
188
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,000
Why are you being so weird?
189
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,560
Why are you chasing us?
190
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,080
Because you dropped this.
191
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,120
That's my purse.
192
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,840
Why did you think
we were chasing you?
193
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:49,040
Right, I see, we're travellers
which means we're psychopaths?
194
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,960
You were right, Erin. Shut up, Orla.
195
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,480
We run after people and beat them
up for no fecking reason.
196
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,400
No, look, that isn't.
We're travellers,
197
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,480
so we're obviously violent.
No, not at all.
198
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:02,400
Listen, we have huge respect
for you and your people.
199
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,480
You've such a strong sense
of community
200
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,640
and such wonderful,
traditional values.
201
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,120
These lads bothering you, girls?
Yes, yes, they are.
202
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,600
They're fucking madmen. They're
going to kill us. Help us, please!
203
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,080
Jump in.
204
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,000
Arseholes.
205
00:10:37,780 --> 00:10:38,780
We're totally set.
206
00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:42,900
Have you ever actually met them,
Rita? Take That?
207
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:45,100
No, I can't stand them, if I'm being
honest,
208
00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:47,420
but their fans are so thick
they'll buy any old shite.
209
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:49,860
Present company included.
I think you mean excluded.
210
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,220
Naw. Naw, I don't.
I see.
211
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,260
Pop music isn't really my thing,
truth be told.
212
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:57,700
It's all so fucking soulless. Nah.
I'm a classical head, all the way,
213
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,980
but I've been banned from trading
at Glyndebourne ever since
214
00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:02,020
I absolutely battered that
Pavarotti fan.
215
00:11:02,060 --> 00:11:04,380
And when I say I battered,
I mean intellectually, like.
216
00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:06,220
I did kick the shit
out of him as well!
217
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,500
Pavo's La Boheme is very muscular,
218
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:12,620
but for purity of tone you simply
cannot fault Bocelli.
219
00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,020
I mean, listen to that, girls.
220
00:11:14,060 --> 00:11:15,060
Pass us a can there.
221
00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:17,820
A can of?
222
00:11:18,940 --> 00:11:20,580
Beer. I see.
223
00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:22,980
Alcoholic beer.
224
00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:28,860
That's fucking beautiful.
While driving. OK. Fine. Good.
225
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:32,860
I mean, what a fucking
instrument! Glorious!
226
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,060
Any idea what the speed limit
is around here?
227
00:11:36,580 --> 00:11:40,300
"Robie!?" Close your eyes, girls,
and soak it up!
228
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:42,140
Sure. Of course.
229
00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:44,820
But maybe you could soak it up with
your eyes open and,
230
00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:45,940
you know, on the road?
231
00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:16,740
Erin, what are we going to do?
I don't know! She's fucking mental!
232
00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:18,900
She's spelt Robbie wrong on every
single T-shirt! What?!
233
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:20,620
How are we going to break it to her?
234
00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:23,780
That's what you're worried about,
Clare? At this very second?
235
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:27,460
That's what's concerning you, a spelling
mistake? I find it disturbing, Erin.
236
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:30,180
I tell you what, girls, I don't
believe in God but, see, if I did...
237
00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:32,980
She's lost the plot. ..that's what
he would sound like!
238
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:35,660
We should have took our chances with
the Gypsies. Travellers!
239
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:39,980
Jesus Christ!
What was that?
240
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:41,100
Did we hit something?
241
00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:44,020
My God, it's the polar bear!
242
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:52,700
Not again. Get it shifted, girls.
243
00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:56,620
This is rank.
Why are we doing it?
244
00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:59,057
Because Rita told us to and
I'm scared of her, Clare!
245
00:12:59,137 --> 00:13:00,380
I'm very, very scared of her!
246
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:02,900
Why's it so heavy? Aren't
they meant to be 90% wool?
247
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:05,340
Just put your back into it!
The sooner this is done,
248
00:13:05,380 --> 00:13:08,060
the sooner we're back in that van
and on our way to see Robbie.
249
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:10,420
Robie! I mean, it
so obviously doesn't look right.
250
00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:12,620
I am not getting back in that
van, Michelle.
251
00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:14,420
The woman is a maniac.
We've come this far.
252
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,580
We're not turning back
253
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:16,940
Jesus Christ!
254
00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:19,140
What is it? I just put my hand
on its hole!
255
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:23,460
Fuck this, let's just make James do
it, the lazy bastard.
256
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:24,500
Totally. Good idea.
257
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:28,220
Where is James?
258
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:37,940
..he doesn't have any other
friends...
259
00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:41,500
Will you shut the fuck up?!
260
00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:45,800
OK. So, as far as I can make out,
261
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,160
you think you left this James character
with the Gypsies? - Travellers.
262
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,460
The small annoying one thinks we
should go back for him because..?
263
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:54,340
They were so angry with us.
He could be in real danger, Rita.
264
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:56,000
And the mouthy curly one thinks
we shouldn't because..?
265
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,800
- He's a dickhead, Rita.
- See, it's tricky.
266
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:02,340
Come on, Michelle! If we go back for
him we'll miss the start of the concert.
267
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:05,660
But he's your cousin. Who hasn't
lost a cousin or two in their time?
268
00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:08,980
OK, OK, so who agrees with Tiny
Tears, who thinks we should go back?
269
00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:14,300
Orla! I like James, I like Take That
more.
270
00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:16,980
Make a fucking decision,
I've T shirts to flog!
271
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:20,180
Come on, girls, it's Take That we're
talking about.
272
00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:21,220
I know, it's just...
273
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,940
You said it yourself
Erin, the greats don't come here.
274
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:26,180
We never got to see Bros,
New Kids on The Block
275
00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:27,740
Right Said Fred.
276
00:14:27,780 --> 00:14:29,500
Let's not add Take That to the list.
277
00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:31,820
We can't turn back. There's too much
at stake.
278
00:14:31,860 --> 00:14:33,300
James has the tickets.
279
00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:36,420
Despite John Hume's optimism
earlier today,
280
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:37,900
the DUP leader, Ian Paisley,
281
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:41,660
has said that under no circumstances
will his party sit at the same
282
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:45,940
table as Sinn Fein,
making all party talks impossible.
283
00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:47,580
I can't take it any more.
284
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,580
All these false promises.
285
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:51,260
Waiting week after week,
286
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,820
hoping today might be the day, only
to be disappointed.
287
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,500
Don't upset yourself, love.
It's just a wheelie bin.
288
00:14:56,540 --> 00:14:57,980
It'll change my life, Gerry.
289
00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:00,180
And Strabane's had them
for months.
290
00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:03,820
I mean, what's going on there? Who's
pulling the strings for Strabane?
291
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:06,300
I mean, it's against the
Trades Description Act.
292
00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:09,940
The label said mahogany.
Sure, that's barely oak.
293
00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:12,100
Jesus, but I'm fuming, so I am.
294
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:13,980
He's gaining ground.
295
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:15,100
What? The polar bear.
296
00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:17,900
Margo Murphy's niece just saw him
297
00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:20,580
outside the Abrakebabra
in Coleraine, apparently.
298
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,060
That close?
I'll get the holy water.
299
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:25,300
Sarah, buzz Michelle's mother there,
tell her we need our wains back.
300
00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:26,660
I will surely, Daddy.
301
00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:29,940
Then we'll barricade the front door,
and if worst comes to worst,
302
00:15:29,980 --> 00:15:32,780
Jim across the road lent me his
tranquiliser gun. Nobody's picking up.
303
00:15:32,820 --> 00:15:35,460
Why does Jim across the road have a
tranquilizer gun?
304
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:38,180
His brother had an awful lot of
bother with devil worshippers.
305
00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:41,980
Excuse me? Aye, they sent up camp on
his farm and he couldn't shift them
306
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,620
for love nor money, so Jim bought
a couple of guns and just...
307
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:47,180
What? Shot them?
Aye. I think it worked, you know?
308
00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:48,460
I imagine it would, yeah.
309
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:51,020
I'm not convinced they were devil
worshippers, you know?
310
00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:52,900
Sure their hair had never seen a
brush
311
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:54,980
and they were head to toe in
tie dye, Mary.
312
00:15:55,420 --> 00:16:00,380
Jesus Christ! OK, I think
we all just need to take a moment.
313
00:16:02,180 --> 00:16:03,180
Don't answer!
314
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:05,340
That might be him!
That might be the polar bear!
315
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:08,060
Yeah, because they're known
for their impeccable manners.
316
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,405
They might come into your
house and rip your throat out,
317
00:16:10,485 --> 00:16:11,900
but they'll knock
on the door first.
318
00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:14,380
Could you please stop pointing that
thing at me, Joe?
319
00:16:14,420 --> 00:16:15,420
Da...
320
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,100
Och, Geraldine.
321
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:20,460
I hope you don't mind,
your front door was open.
322
00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:23,100
Can you believe this
bloody polar bear?
323
00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:25,940
We're at our wits end over at our
place. It's desperate, so it is.
324
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:28,300
Mary? Gerry?
325
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:29,980
'mon in Deidre love, it's open.
326
00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:31,700
Can you credit this arsehole?
327
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:34,780
He's going to hold this whole town
hostage, you mark my words.
328
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:36,060
He's an evil bastard, Deidre.
329
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,340
Look, I just want to get my two back
home if that's all right, Mary.
330
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:42,140
Aye, same here. You wouldn't mind
getting Clare for me?
331
00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:43,980
What are you talking about?
Ssh! Listen.
332
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:46,460
A polar bear that
escaped from Belfast Zoo
333
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,220
this morning has been recaptured.
334
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,860
A group of firefighters who were
helping with the search
335
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,860
discovered the animal
close to the A6 between
336
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:57,420
Belfast and Londonderry,
feasting on a sheep carcass.
337
00:16:57,460 --> 00:16:58,460
Thank God for that.
338
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:02,380
I better leave Jim's gun back,
so.
339
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:06,500
Michelle, James and Clare, did they
tell you they were coming round here?
340
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:07,540
Aye. That's right.
341
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:09,700
The wee feckers!
342
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:35,260
What are you playing at?
Get in the van, fucko!
343
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:37,940
Does not have to if you
don't want to, James.
344
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:40,460
With all due respect,
this has got nothing to do with you.
345
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:43,460
The way you treat this fella is
disgraceful.
346
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:46,380
What's going on, James?
347
00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:49,060
Jonjo and the lads,
well, they just get me,
348
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:52,020
and it turns out I'm a really
good salesman.
349
00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:53,580
He's a natural.
350
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:55,380
So what? You're a Gypsy now?
Traveller!
351
00:17:55,420 --> 00:17:57,580
Actually, Gypsy's fine.
I knew it!
352
00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:58,860
Let's get a move on!
353
00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:00,460
Right, get in the van. Come on.
354
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:03,380
And do not test me, cos we've
already missed PJ and Duncan.
355
00:18:03,420 --> 00:18:06,420
Is that who was supporting them?
Aye. Aw, I really like them!
356
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:09,100
I'm not leaving, Michelle.
Not even for Gary Barlow?
357
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:12,100
I don't really rate him
as a songwriter, you know?
358
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,940
I'm sorry, Jonjo,
359
00:18:17,980 --> 00:18:19,940
but you've just crossed
the line there.
360
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:29,260
"Sure"
by Take That
361
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,380
My Michelle's going to be wishing
she was mauled to death
362
00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:34,980
by that thing when I get my hands on
her.
363
00:18:35,020 --> 00:18:36,580
I don't know what to do any more.
364
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:40,060
I mean, they say that all
teenagers are a bit rebellious
365
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,460
but Clare's off the scale.
She's basically a delinquent.
366
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,500
Have you considered adoption,
Geraldine?
367
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,780
She's 16, Sarah.
Sure, she's past the cut-off.
368
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:51,260
And finally, amazing scenes in
The King's Hall this evening
369
00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,260
as the British pop sensations
Take That
370
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,620
play their first ever
Northern Irish concert.
371
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:03,260
Look, girls, we just need some cold,
hard proof
372
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,620
they went to that concert.
373
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:07,780
And then, by Christ, they won't know
what's hit them.
31818
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