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All language subtitles for SNL S02E20 Elliott Gould.DVDRip.HI.RLP.cc.en.UNVSL

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,301 --> 00:00:04,247 COLONEL VARBODIMNIKOV, WE JUST RAN IN RIGHT FROM THE AFFILIATES DINNER, SO PERHAPS 2 00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:05,282 JUST RAN IN RIGHT FROM THE AFFILIATES DINNER, SO PERHAPS WE'RE NOT UP TO DATE ON THE 3 00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:06,116 AFFILIATES DINNER, SO PERHAPS WE'RE NOT UP TO DATE ON THE LATEST DETAILS. 4 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,084 WE'RE NOT UP TO DATE ON THE LATEST DETAILS. WHAT IS THIS ABOUT 5 00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:08,618 LATEST DETAILS. WHAT IS THIS ABOUT MARSHAL BREZHNEV WANTING TO BACK 6 00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:08,986 WHAT IS THIS ABOUT MARSHAL BREZHNEV WANTING TO BACK OUT? 7 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:10,720 MARSHAL BREZHNEV WANTING TO BACK OUT? I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL. 8 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:12,555 OUT? I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL. THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING 9 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:14,624 I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL. THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY HAS AGREED TO PAY IN 10 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,526 THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY HAS AGREED TO PAY IN EXCHANGE FOR ALL VIDEOTAPE 11 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,795 COMPANY HAS AGREED TO PAY IN EXCHANGE FOR ALL VIDEOTAPE RIGHTS... VISUAL AND SOUND... TO 12 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:21,098 EXCHANGE FOR ALL VIDEOTAPE RIGHTS... VISUAL AND SOUND... TO THE 1980 MOSCOW-HELD OLYMPICS TO 13 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:23,000 RIGHTS... VISUAL AND SOUND... TO THE 1980 MOSCOW-HELD OLYMPICS TO THE SOVIET PEOPLE'S SPORTS 14 00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:25,768 THE 1980 MOSCOW-HELD OLYMPICS TO THE SOVIET PEOPLE'S SPORTS TRIBUNAL, THE SUM OF 80 MILLION 15 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:26,669 THE SOVIET PEOPLE'S SPORTS TRIBUNAL, THE SUM OF 80 MILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS. 16 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:27,471 TRIBUNAL, THE SUM OF 80 MILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS. IS THAT RIGHT? 17 00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,039 AMERICAN DOLLARS. IS THAT RIGHT? [Russian accent] GOOD. 18 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,474 IS THAT RIGHT? [Russian accent] GOOD. PLUS... I HAVE A "PLUS." 19 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,442 [Russian accent] GOOD. PLUS... I HAVE A "PLUS." PLUS THE ARMY OF THE SOVIET GETS 20 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:33,943 PLUS... I HAVE A "PLUS." PLUS THE ARMY OF THE SOVIET GETS ALL VIDEOTAPE-RECORDING 21 00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,512 PLUS THE ARMY OF THE SOVIET GETS ALL VIDEOTAPE-RECORDING EQUIPMENT AT LOCATION... 22 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,281 ALL VIDEOTAPE-RECORDING EQUIPMENT AT LOCATION... CAMERAS, LIGHTS, TRUCKS, 23 00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:39,549 EQUIPMENT AT LOCATION... CAMERAS, LIGHTS, TRUCKS, SCREENS. 24 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:40,783 CAMERAS, LIGHTS, TRUCKS, SCREENS. HERB, I'M NOT SURE THAT'S 25 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,119 SCREENS. HERB, I'M NOT SURE THAT'S WITHIN THE PARAMETERS WHICH THE 26 00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:43,820 HERB, I'M NOT SURE THAT'S WITHIN THE PARAMETERS WHICH THE NBC BOARD OUTLINED TO US. 27 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:45,255 WITHIN THE PARAMETERS WHICH THE NBC BOARD OUTLINED TO US. PHIL, THIS IS THE GREATEST 28 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,356 NBC BOARD OUTLINED TO US. PHIL, THIS IS THE GREATEST DEAL IN THE HISTORY OF 29 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,057 PHIL, THIS IS THE GREATEST DEAL IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION. 30 00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,591 DEAL IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION. I'M NOT GONNA BLOW IT OVER A FEW 31 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:49,426 TELEVISION. I'M NOT GONNA BLOW IT OVER A FEW LOUSY MINICAMS. 32 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,061 I'M NOT GONNA BLOW IT OVER A FEW LOUSY MINICAMS. GENTLEMEN, PLEASE AGREE. 33 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,562 LOUSY MINICAMS. GENTLEMEN, PLEASE AGREE. MARSHAL BREZHNEV WILL BE 34 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:53,730 GENTLEMEN, PLEASE AGREE. MARSHAL BREZHNEV WILL BE RETURNING SHORTLY. 35 00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,032 MARSHAL BREZHNEV WILL BE RETURNING SHORTLY. OKAY, COLONEL, YOU'VE GOT 36 00:00:55,056 --> 00:00:55,832 RETURNING SHORTLY. OKAY, COLONEL, YOU'VE GOT YOUR EQUIPMENT. 37 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,567 OKAY, COLONEL, YOU'VE GOT YOUR EQUIPMENT. GOOD! GOOD! 38 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,102 YOUR EQUIPMENT. GOOD! GOOD! EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. 39 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,437 GOOD! GOOD! EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. MR. BREZHNEV IS FINISHED IN THE 40 00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:07,877 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. MR. BREZHNEV IS FINISHED IN THE BATHROOM. 41 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:14,284 MR. BREZHNEV IS FINISHED IN THE BATHROOM. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 42 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:17,654 BATHROOM. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 43 00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,189 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] COLONEL, I GUESS YOU CAN TELL 44 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,690 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] COLONEL, I GUESS YOU CAN TELL MARSHAL BREZHNEV THAT WE HAVE A 45 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:21,124 COLONEL, I GUESS YOU CAN TELL MARSHAL BREZHNEV THAT WE HAVE A DEAL. 46 00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:24,127 MARSHAL BREZHNEV THAT WE HAVE A DEAL. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 47 00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,462 DEAL. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 48 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:26,796 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] NO. HE SAYS NO DEAL. 49 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,265 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] NO. HE SAYS NO DEAL. HE HAS ADDITIONAL DEMANDS. 50 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:29,099 NO. HE SAYS NO DEAL. HE HAS ADDITIONAL DEMANDS. ADDITIONAL DEMANDS? 51 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,067 HE HAS ADDITIONAL DEMANDS. ADDITIONAL DEMANDS? HERB, I THOUGHT WE'D COVERED 52 00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:30,567 ADDITIONAL DEMANDS? HERB, I THOUGHT WE'D COVERED EVERYTHING. 53 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,269 HERB, I THOUGHT WE'D COVERED EVERYTHING. COLONEL, PLEASE CORRECT ME IF 54 00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:33,636 EVERYTHING. COLONEL, PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, BUT HAVEN'T WE 55 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,172 COLONEL, PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, BUT HAVEN'T WE ALREADY AGREED TO ALL OF YOUR 56 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:35,672 I'M WRONG, BUT HAVEN'T WE ALREADY AGREED TO ALL OF YOUR TERMS? 57 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,607 ALREADY AGREED TO ALL OF YOUR TERMS? [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 58 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:40,277 TERMS? [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 59 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,611 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] PSSSSS! 60 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,213 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] PSSSSS! [IMITATES EXPLOSION] 61 00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,616 PSSSSS! [IMITATES EXPLOSION] AAH! 62 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,585 [IMITATES EXPLOSION] AAH! HE IS SAYING HE WILL GO HOME 63 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:49,686 AAH! HE IS SAYING HE WILL GO HOME AND PUSH THE... 64 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,421 HE IS SAYING HE WILL GO HOME AND PUSH THE... YES, YES, I THINK I KNOW WHAT 65 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,089 AND PUSH THE... YES, YES, I THINK I KNOW WHAT HE MEANS. 66 00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,656 YES, YES, I THINK I KNOW WHAT HE MEANS. WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO FOR HIM? 67 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,658 HE MEANS. WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO FOR HIM? [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 68 00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:57,427 WHAT ELSE CAN WE DO FOR HIM? [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 69 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,962 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] HE SAYS HE WOULD LIKE TO SEE 70 00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,497 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] HE SAYS HE WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE DETAILED OPERATION OF YOUR 71 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,099 HE SAYS HE WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE DETAILED OPERATION OF YOUR NETWORK INSIDE. 72 00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:03,833 MORE DETAILED OPERATION OF YOUR NETWORK INSIDE. I'LL SET UP A STUDIO TOUR FOR 73 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,735 NETWORK INSIDE. I'LL SET UP A STUDIO TOUR FOR HIM. 74 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,537 I'LL SET UP A STUDIO TOUR FOR HIM. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 75 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,005 HIM. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] HE WANTS TO BE ON TELEVISION. 76 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,440 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] HE WANTS TO BE ON TELEVISION. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT, 77 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:10,840 HE WANTS TO BE ON TELEVISION. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT, PHIL. 78 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,242 I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT, PHIL. WHEN? 79 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,743 PHIL. WHEN? THE NIGHT BEFORE THE S.A.L.T. 80 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:14,111 WHEN? THE NIGHT BEFORE THE S.A.L.T. TALKS. 81 00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,312 THE NIGHT BEFORE THE S.A.L.T. TALKS. WELL, I'M SURE PROGRAMMING 82 00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,113 TALKS. WELL, I'M SURE PROGRAMMING WOULD JUMP AT THAT. 83 00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:17,280 WELL, I'M SURE PROGRAMMING WOULD JUMP AT THAT. YEAH, BUT I COULD FORESEE 84 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,515 WOULD JUMP AT THAT. YEAH, BUT I COULD FORESEE SOME VERY HEAVY RESISTANCE FROM 85 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:19,382 YEAH, BUT I COULD FORESEE SOME VERY HEAVY RESISTANCE FROM LEGAL ON THIS. 86 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,484 SOME VERY HEAVY RESISTANCE FROM LEGAL ON THIS. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 87 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,119 LEGAL ON THIS. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] MNNNNN! 88 00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:23,286 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] MNNNNN! [IMITATES EXPLOSION] 89 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,354 MNNNNN! [IMITATES EXPLOSION] I'M SURE WE CAN ARRANGE 90 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:24,887 [IMITATES EXPLOSION] I'M SURE WE CAN ARRANGE SOMETHING. 91 00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,123 I'M SURE WE CAN ARRANGE SOMETHING. PHIL, GIVE NETWORK NEWS A CALL. 92 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,257 SOMETHING. PHIL, GIVE NETWORK NEWS A CALL. MAYBE HE CAN DO AN HOUR WITH 93 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:27,824 PHIL, GIVE NETWORK NEWS A CALL. MAYBE HE CAN DO AN HOUR WITH CHANCELLOR. 94 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:28,791 MAYBE HE CAN DO AN HOUR WITH CHANCELLOR. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 95 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,793 CHANCELLOR. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] NO, NO, NO. NO CHANCELLOR. 96 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,262 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] NO, NO, NO. NO CHANCELLOR. HE SAYS HE WANTS TO GO TO 97 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,029 NO, NO, NO. NO CHANCELLOR. HE SAYS HE WANTS TO GO TO COAST. 98 00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,332 HE SAYS HE WANTS TO GO TO COAST. JOHNNY. JOHNNY. 99 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,199 COAST. JOHNNY. JOHNNY. JOHNNY. 100 00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:38,335 JOHNNY. JOHNNY. JOHNNY. HE WANTS TO BE ON JOHNNY. 101 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:39,769 JOHNNY. HE WANTS TO BE ON JOHNNY. PHIL, CALL FREDDY IN L.A. AND 102 00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,104 HE WANTS TO BE ON JOHNNY. PHIL, CALL FREDDY IN L.A. AND TELL HIM TO BOOK SOVIET PARTY 103 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:42,305 PHIL, CALL FREDDY IN L.A. AND TELL HIM TO BOOK SOVIET PARTY LEADER BREZHNEV ON CARSON. 104 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,306 TELL HIM TO BOOK SOVIET PARTY LEADER BREZHNEV ON CARSON. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 105 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,441 LEADER BREZHNEV ON CARSON. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] WAIT. WAIT. 106 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:45,875 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] WAIT. WAIT. HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE ON 107 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,845 WAIT. WAIT. HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE ON LAST 15 MINUTES OF PROGRAM. 108 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,113 HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE ON LAST 15 MINUTES OF PROGRAM. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 109 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,382 LAST 15 MINUTES OF PROGRAM. [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] HE SAYS HE WANTS TO BE ON 110 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,784 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] HE SAYS HE WANTS TO BE ON WITH JOHNNY... NO GUEST HOSTS, 111 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,486 HE SAYS HE WANTS TO BE ON WITH JOHNNY... NO GUEST HOSTS, NO DAVID BRENNER, NO 112 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,687 WITH JOHNNY... NO GUEST HOSTS, NO DAVID BRENNER, NO McLEAN STEVENSON. 113 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,722 NO DAVID BRENNER, NO McLEAN STEVENSON. YES. ALSO, HE SAYS, HE WANTS 114 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,824 McLEAN STEVENSON. YES. ALSO, HE SAYS, HE WANTS AS SPECIAL GUEST CLINT EASTWOOD. 115 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:05,529 YES. ALSO, HE SAYS, HE WANTS AS SPECIAL GUEST CLINT EASTWOOD. [IMITATES GUNFIRE] 116 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,730 AS SPECIAL GUEST CLINT EASTWOOD. [IMITATES GUNFIRE] HERB, YOU KNOW, HE COULD 117 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,066 [IMITATES GUNFIRE] HERB, YOU KNOW, HE COULD GUEST HOST. 118 00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,734 HERB, YOU KNOW, HE COULD GUEST HOST. THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, PHIL. 119 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,470 GUEST HOST. THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, PHIL. LOOK, WE'RE IN A POSITION HERE 120 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:14,604 THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, PHIL. LOOK, WE'RE IN A POSITION HERE TO SAVE THE WORLD. 121 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:17,407 LOOK, WE'RE IN A POSITION HERE TO SAVE THE WORLD. YOU ON JOHNNY... JOHNNY! 122 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:20,009 TO SAVE THE WORLD. YOU ON JOHNNY... JOHNNY! "AND HE-E-E-E-E-RE'S LEONID!" 123 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,011 YOU ON JOHNNY... JOHNNY! "AND HE-E-E-E-E-RE'S LEONID!" Together: [HUMMING "THE 124 00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,549 "AND HE-E-E-E-E-RE'S LEONID!" Together: [HUMMING "THE TONIGHT SHOW" THEME] 125 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:26,149 Together: [HUMMING "THE TONIGHT SHOW" THEME] WELL? 126 00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:27,150 [TONIGHT SHOW" THEME] WELL? WE GOT A DEAL. 127 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,151 WELL? WE GOT A DEAL. WE GOT A DEAL? 128 00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:29,186 WE GOT A DEAL. WE GOT A DEAL? DO WE HAVE A DEAL? 129 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:29,986 WE GOT A DEAL? DO WE HAVE A DEAL? YES. 130 00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,955 DO WE HAVE A DEAL? YES. UH, ALSO, HE WOULD VERY MUCH 131 00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:33,823 YES. UH, ALSO, HE WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO SAY... 132 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,458 UH, ALSO, HE WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO SAY... LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 133 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,526 LIKE TO SAY... LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! 134 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,790 LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! [BAND PLAYS] 135 00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:57,061 Announcer: NBC's "SATURDAY NIGHT"... STARRING... 136 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,656 "SATURDAY NIGHT"... STARRING... WITH SPECIAL GUESTS... 137 00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:44,283 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... ELLIOTT GOULD! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 138 00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:06,549 WELL, HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, HELLO! AND HERE I AM BACK IN NEW YORK, 139 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:07,950 HELLO! AND HERE I AM BACK IN NEW YORK, AND THIS IS WHERE I'M FROM, 140 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:08,718 AND HERE I AM BACK IN NEW YORK, AND THIS IS WHERE I'M FROM, RIGHT? 141 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:13,222 AND THIS IS WHERE I'M FROM, RIGHT? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 142 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,658 RIGHT? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A LITTLER 143 00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:15,925 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A LITTLER KID, I WAS TOLD THAT I WAS 144 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,394 YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A LITTLER KID, I WAS TOLD THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SONG-AND-DANCE 145 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,696 KID, I WAS TOLD THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SONG-AND-DANCE MAN ON BROADWAY, SO I DID THAT. 146 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,331 SUPPOSED TO BE A SONG-AND-DANCE MAN ON BROADWAY, SO I DID THAT. AND WHENEVER I COME ON THE SHOW, 147 00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,932 MAN ON BROADWAY, SO I DID THAT. AND WHENEVER I COME ON THE SHOW, I KNOW THE FIRST TIME... I LOVE 148 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:23,966 AND WHENEVER I COME ON THE SHOW, I KNOW THE FIRST TIME... I LOVE TO SING OLD SONGS. 149 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,435 I KNOW THE FIRST TIME... I LOVE TO SING OLD SONGS. AND I SANG "CRAZY RHYTHM" AND 150 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:26,436 TO SING OLD SONGS. AND I SANG "CRAZY RHYTHM" AND "LET YOURSELF GO." 151 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,705 AND I SANG "CRAZY RHYTHM" AND "LET YOURSELF GO." AND THEN LAST TIME, I SANG 152 00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,740 "LET YOURSELF GO." AND THEN LAST TIME, I SANG "ANYTHING GOES," BY COLE PORTER. 153 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,309 AND THEN LAST TIME, I SANG "ANYTHING GOES," BY COLE PORTER. AND TONIGHT I HAD PLANNED TO 154 00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,343 "ANYTHING GOES," BY COLE PORTER. AND TONIGHT I HAD PLANNED TO SING THE VERSE OF 155 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:34,877 AND TONIGHT I HAD PLANNED TO SING THE VERSE OF "ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE" AND 156 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,212 SING THE VERSE OF "ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE" AND "DON'T FENCE ME IN" AND 157 00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:37,914 "ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE" AND "DON'T FENCE ME IN" AND "YOU GOT TO HAVE HEART," BUT WE 158 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,049 "DON'T FENCE ME IN" AND "YOU GOT TO HAVE HEART," BUT WE GOT A BETTER IDEA. 159 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,951 "YOU GOT TO HAVE HEART," BUT WE GOT A BETTER IDEA. I'D LIKE TO RE-INTRODUCE A DANCE 160 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,687 GOT A BETTER IDEA. I'D LIKE TO RE-INTRODUCE A DANCE SONG THAT WAS THE RAGE A LONG 161 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,221 I'D LIKE TO RE-INTRODUCE A DANCE SONG THAT WAS THE RAGE A LONG TIME AGO, AND IT'S ALMOST 162 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,456 SONG THAT WAS THE RAGE A LONG TIME AGO, AND IT'S ALMOST FORGOTTEN NOW. 163 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,657 TIME AGO, AND IT'S ALMOST FORGOTTEN NOW. IT WAS WRITTEN BY 164 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,192 FORGOTTEN NOW. IT WAS WRITTEN BY MR. TOMMY MALONE AND 165 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,260 IT WAS WRITTEN BY MR. TOMMY MALONE AND MOE SILVERFARB, BOTH OF THEM 166 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,330 MR. TOMMY MALONE AND MOE SILVERFARB, BOTH OF THEM GONE NOW, GOD BLESS THEM. 167 00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:55,298 MOE SILVERFARB, BOTH OF THEM GONE NOW, GOD BLESS THEM. AND IT'S FROM A SHOW CALLED "THE 168 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,066 GONE NOW, GOD BLESS THEM. AND IT'S FROM A SHOW CALLED "THE GYPSY PRIEST," WHICH OPENED IN 169 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,935 AND IT'S FROM A SHOW CALLED "THE GYPSY PRIEST," WHICH OPENED IN THE WINTER GARDEN THEATER IN THE 170 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:02,171 GYPSY PRIEST," WHICH OPENED IN THE WINTER GARDEN THEATER IN THE SPRING OF 1927, AND IT SET ALL 171 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,373 THE WINTER GARDEN THEATER IN THE SPRING OF 1927, AND IT SET ALL AMERICA DANCING. 172 00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:05,842 SPRING OF 1927, AND IT SET ALL AMERICA DANCING. SO TONIGHT, FOLKS, 50 YEARS 173 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,910 AMERICA DANCING. SO TONIGHT, FOLKS, 50 YEARS LATER, I'D LIKE TO SHOW IT TO 174 00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:08,411 SO TONIGHT, FOLKS, 50 YEARS LATER, I'D LIKE TO SHOW IT TO YOU. 175 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,179 LATER, I'D LIKE TO SHOW IT TO YOU. [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING] 176 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,948 YOU. [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING] Announcer: AND NOW, LIVE FROM 177 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,351 [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING] Announcer: AND NOW, LIVE FROM STUDIO 8H, HIGH ATOP MANHATTAN'S 178 00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,453 Announcer: AND NOW, LIVE FROM STUDIO 8H, HIGH ATOP MANHATTAN'S FAMED ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, NBC 179 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,855 STUDIO 8H, HIGH ATOP MANHATTAN'S FAMED ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, NBC PROUDLY PRESENTS THE DANCE CRAZE 180 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,490 FAMED ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, NBC PROUDLY PRESENTS THE DANCE CRAZE YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... 181 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:23,993 PROUDLY PRESENTS THE DANCE CRAZE YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... "THE CASTRATION WALK!" 182 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,428 YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... "THE CASTRATION WALK!" Together: ♪ PUT YOUR HAND ON 183 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:26,796 "THE CASTRATION WALK!" Together: ♪ PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR CROTCH AND THE OTHER ONE, 184 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:27,129 Together: ♪ PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR CROTCH AND THE OTHER ONE, TOO ♪ 185 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,398 YOUR CROTCH AND THE OTHER ONE, TOO ♪ ♪ THEN YOU GIVE A LITTLE SQUEEZE 186 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:29,632 TOO ♪ ♪ THEN YOU GIVE A LITTLE SQUEEZE TILL YOUR BOOTS TURN BLUE ♪ 187 00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,234 ♪ THEN YOU GIVE A LITTLE SQUEEZE TILL YOUR BOOTS TURN BLUE ♪ ♪ AND IT HURTS SO MUCH YOU CAN 188 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,369 TILL YOUR BOOTS TURN BLUE ♪ ♪ AND IT HURTS SO MUCH YOU CAN BARELY TALK ♪ 189 00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,503 ♪ AND IT HURTS SO MUCH YOU CAN BARELY TALK ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE 190 00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:34,671 BARELY TALK ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION WALK ♪ 191 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,805 NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION WALK ♪ Together: ♪ THEN YOU HOP ON 192 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,106 CASTRATION WALK ♪ Together: ♪ THEN YOU HOP ON YOUR FOOT AND YOU ROLL ON THE 193 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:37,540 Together: ♪ THEN YOU HOP ON YOUR FOOT AND YOU ROLL ON THE FLOOR ♪ 194 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,941 YOUR FOOT AND YOU ROLL ON THE FLOOR ♪ ♪ AND YOU KNOCK THINGS OVER AND 195 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,042 FLOOR ♪ ♪ AND YOU KNOCK THINGS OVER AND YOU BANG ON THE DOOR ♪ 196 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,344 ♪ AND YOU KNOCK THINGS OVER AND YOU BANG ON THE DOOR ♪ ♪ AND YOU SCREAM, "OW! OW!" ♪ 197 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:42,712 YOU BANG ON THE DOOR ♪ ♪ AND YOU SCREAM, "OW! OW!" ♪ ♪ AND YOU SHOUT, "OHH! OHH!" ♪ 198 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,847 ♪ AND YOU SCREAM, "OW! OW!" ♪ ♪ AND YOU SHOUT, "OHH! OHH!" ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE 199 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:44,781 ♪ AND YOU SHOUT, "OHH! OHH!" ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION WALK ♪ 200 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,849 ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION WALK ♪ Together: ♪ THEN YOUR VOICE 201 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:46,315 CASTRATION WALK ♪ Together: ♪ THEN YOUR VOICE GOES UP ♪ 202 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:47,550 Together: ♪ THEN YOUR VOICE GOES UP ♪ [High-pitched] ♪ AND YOU SOUND 203 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,084 GOES UP ♪ [High-pitched] ♪ AND YOU SOUND LIKE THIS ♪ 204 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,386 [High-pitched] ♪ AND YOU SOUND LIKE THIS ♪ ♪ AND YOU DON'T WANT TO HUG AND 205 00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:50,453 LIKE THIS ♪ ♪ AND YOU DON'T WANT TO HUG AND YOU DON'T WANT TO KISS ♪ 206 00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:51,788 ♪ AND YOU DON'T WANT TO HUG AND YOU DON'T WANT TO KISS ♪ ♪ AND YOUR SHORTS DON'T FIT AND 207 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,122 YOU DON'T WANT TO KISS ♪ ♪ AND YOUR SHORTS DON'T FIT AND YOU START TO SQUAWK ♪ 208 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,290 ♪ AND YOUR SHORTS DON'T FIT AND YOU START TO SQUAWK ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE 209 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,834 YOU START TO SQUAWK ♪ ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION WALK ♪ 210 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:16,561 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Together: NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION ♪ 211 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,950 Together: NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION ♪ ♪ IT'S A BRAND-NEW SENSATION ♪ 212 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,318 THE CASTRATION ♪ ♪ IT'S A BRAND-NEW SENSATION ♪ [Normal voice] ♪ I WENT TO 213 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,753 ♪ IT'S A BRAND-NEW SENSATION ♪ [Normal voice] ♪ I WENT TO THE RABBI, AND HE SENT ME TO THE 214 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,153 [Normal voice] ♪ I WENT TO THE RABBI, AND HE SENT ME TO THE MOHEL ♪ 215 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,354 THE RABBI, AND HE SENT ME TO THE MOHEL ♪ ♪ BUT THE MOHEL WAS CLUMSY, AND 216 00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:26,255 MOHEL ♪ ♪ BUT THE MOHEL WAS CLUMSY, AND HE MADE ME A "GOHEL" ♪ 217 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,457 ♪ BUT THE MOHEL WAS CLUMSY, AND HE MADE ME A "GOHEL" ♪ Together: [High-pitched] 218 00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:28,725 HE MADE ME A "GOHEL" ♪ Together: [High-pitched] ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE 219 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:29,358 Together: [High-pitched] ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION ♪ 220 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:30,927 ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION ♪ ♪ IT WILL SOON SWEEP THE 221 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:31,327 CASTRATION ♪ ♪ IT WILL SOON SWEEP THE NATION ♪ 222 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,261 ♪ IT WILL SOON SWEEP THE NATION ♪ [Normal voice] ♪ I WAS 223 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,229 NATION ♪ [Normal voice] ♪ I WAS SLIDING DOWN THE BANISTER AND 224 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,297 [Normal voice] ♪ I WAS SLIDING DOWN THE BANISTER AND DIDN'T SEE THE OUCH ♪ 225 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:35,565 SLIDING DOWN THE BANISTER AND DIDN'T SEE THE OUCH ♪ ♪ NOW I FEEL LIKE A KANGAROO WHO 226 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,198 DIDN'T SEE THE OUCH ♪ ♪ NOW I FEEL LIKE A KANGAROO WHO LOST HIS POUCH ♪ 227 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:37,199 ♪ NOW I FEEL LIKE A KANGAROO WHO LOST HIS POUCH ♪ Together: [High-pitched] 228 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,267 LOST HIS POUCH ♪ Together: [High-pitched] ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE 229 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,469 Together: [High-pitched] ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION ♪ 230 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,038 ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION ♪ ♪ IT'S NO CAUSE FOR ELATION ♪ 231 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,706 CASTRATION ♪ ♪ IT'S NO CAUSE FOR ELATION ♪ OFFICER, I'D LIKE TO REPORT A 232 00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:44,574 ♪ IT'S NO CAUSE FOR ELATION ♪ OFFICER, I'D LIKE TO REPORT A JEWEL HEIST! 233 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,075 OFFICER, I'D LIKE TO REPORT A JEWEL HEIST! Together: ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING 234 00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:49,913 JEWEL HEIST! Together: ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION WALK ♪ 235 00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:53,215 Together: ♪ NOW YOU'RE DOING THE CASTRATION WALK ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] 236 00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:55,479 THE CASTRATION WALK ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 237 00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:12,884 [DOORBELL RINGING] HELLO? PHONE COMPANY. ANYBODY HOME? 238 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:16,895 HELLO? PHONE COMPANY. ANYBODY HOME? Together: GREETINGS! 239 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:32,489 IS THIS THE CON-ED REDISENCE? CONEHEAD, MAN. THE NAME IS CONEHEAD. 240 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:33,322 CONEHEAD, MAN. THE NAME IS CONEHEAD. I AM CONNIE. 241 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,924 THE NAME IS CONEHEAD. I AM CONNIE. THESE ARE MY PARENTAL UNITS, 242 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,494 I AM CONNIE. THESE ARE MY PARENTAL UNITS, BELDAR AND PRYMAAT. 243 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,862 THESE ARE MY PARENTAL UNITS, BELDAR AND PRYMAAT. YEAH. RIGHT. 244 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,029 BELDAR AND PRYMAAT. YEAH. RIGHT. WELL, OKAY, YOU WANTED A PHONE 245 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,063 YEAH. RIGHT. WELL, OKAY, YOU WANTED A PHONE INSTALLED ON THE PREMISES? 246 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:41,764 WELL, OKAY, YOU WANTED A PHONE INSTALLED ON THE PREMISES? CORRECT. 247 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,332 INSTALLED ON THE PREMISES? CORRECT. IN FACT, WE NEED SEVERAL OF THE 248 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,934 CORRECT. IN FACT, WE NEED SEVERAL OF THE DEVICES. 249 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:45,935 IN FACT, WE NEED SEVERAL OF THE DEVICES. WELL, HOW MANY DID YOU HAVE 250 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:46,469 DEVICES. WELL, HOW MANY DID YOU HAVE IN YOUR MIND? 251 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,505 WELL, HOW MANY DID YOU HAVE IN YOUR MIND? 35. 252 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,439 IN YOUR MIND? 35. 35? 253 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,642 35. 35? YOU WANT 35 SEPARATE EXTENSIONS? 254 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:53,175 35? YOU WANT 35 SEPARATE EXTENSIONS? CORRECT! 255 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,276 YOU WANT 35 SEPARATE EXTENSIONS? CORRECT! ARE YOU CAPABLE OF SUPPLYING 256 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,411 CORRECT! ARE YOU CAPABLE OF SUPPLYING THIS NUMBER? 257 00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:56,212 ARE YOU CAPABLE OF SUPPLYING THIS NUMBER? WELL, I DON'T KNOW, 258 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:56,746 THIS NUMBER? WELL, I DON'T KNOW, MR. CONEHEAD. 259 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:57,780 WELL, I DON'T KNOW, MR. CONEHEAD. I'LL HAVE TO CHECK TO SEE HOW 260 00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:58,781 MR. CONEHEAD. I'LL HAVE TO CHECK TO SEE HOW MANY SETS I HAVE IN MY TRUCK. 261 00:08:58,805 --> 00:08:59,682 I'LL HAVE TO CHECK TO SEE HOW MANY SETS I HAVE IN MY TRUCK. WHY DO YOU NEED SO MANY? 262 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:00,517 MANY SETS I HAVE IN MY TRUCK. WHY DO YOU NEED SO MANY? WE NEED THEM. 263 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:03,753 WHY DO YOU NEED SO MANY? WE NEED THEM. WE'RE FROM FRANCE. 264 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,287 WE NEED THEM. WE'RE FROM FRANCE. OH, YEAH, WELL, I'LL BE RIGHT 265 00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:08,324 WE'RE FROM FRANCE. OH, YEAH, WELL, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 266 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,659 OH, YEAH, WELL, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. IT IS MOST UNFORTUNATE THAT 267 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:10,927 BACK. IT IS MOST UNFORTUNATE THAT THE HUMAN ARRIVED AS WE WERE 268 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,261 IT IS MOST UNFORTUNATE THAT THE HUMAN ARRIVED AS WE WERE RECEIVING VITAL COMMUNICATION 269 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,596 THE HUMAN ARRIVED AS WE WERE RECEIVING VITAL COMMUNICATION IMPULSES FROM OUR HOME PLANET, 270 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:14,230 RECEIVING VITAL COMMUNICATION IMPULSES FROM OUR HOME PLANET, REMULAK. 271 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:15,131 IMPULSES FROM OUR HOME PLANET, REMULAK. YES, DADDY. 272 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,866 REMULAK. YES, DADDY. YOU MUST RETURN TO THE MONOTRON 273 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,367 YES, DADDY. YOU MUST RETURN TO THE MONOTRON AND CONTINUE TO ABSORB THE 274 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,435 YOU MUST RETURN TO THE MONOTRON AND CONTINUE TO ABSORB THE MESSAGE IMPULSES. 275 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,137 AND CONTINUE TO ABSORB THE MESSAGE IMPULSES. YOUNG ONE, AT TIMES YOU ARE 276 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,672 MESSAGE IMPULSES. YOUNG ONE, AT TIMES YOU ARE WISE, ALTHOUGH I CANNOT DIG 277 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,674 YOUNG ONE, AT TIMES YOU ARE WISE, ALTHOUGH I CANNOT DIG YOUR WHOLE BAG. 278 00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,208 WISE, ALTHOUGH I CANNOT DIG YOUR WHOLE BAG. YES, RETURN TO THE MONOTRON 279 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:26,776 YOUR WHOLE BAG. YES, RETURN TO THE MONOTRON CRYSTAL. 280 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,044 YES, RETURN TO THE MONOTRON CRYSTAL. CONNIE AND I WILL ASSUME 281 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,178 CRYSTAL. CONNIE AND I WILL ASSUME HOUSEHOLD MAINTENANCE 282 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:34,316 CONNIE AND I WILL ASSUME HOUSEHOLD MAINTENANCE ACTIVITIES. 283 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,621 HOUSEHOLD MAINTENANCE ACTIVITIES. [VACUUM CLEANER TURNS ON] 284 00:09:45,150 --> 00:09:50,166 THIS PARTICLE COLLECTOR IS MOST INEFFICIENT. CORRECT. 285 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,834 MOST INEFFICIENT. CORRECT. IT IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HUMAN 286 00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:52,635 CORRECT. IT IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HUMAN TECHNOLOGY. 287 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:53,803 IT IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HUMAN TECHNOLOGY. IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING 288 00:09:53,827 --> 00:10:01,827 TECHNOLOGY. IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT, USE YOUR OWN CONE. 289 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:05,456 IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING RIGHT, USE YOUR OWN CONE. [AIR SUCKING IN] 290 00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:22,246 OKAY, WHERE DO YOU WANT THEM? MOMMY, TELL THE HUMAN WHERE YOU WANT YOURS. 291 00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,567 MOMMY, TELL THE HUMAN WHERE YOU WANT YOURS. I NEED 14 WALL UNITS IN THE 292 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,102 YOU WANT YOURS. I NEED 14 WALL UNITS IN THE FOOD-PREPARATION CHAMBER AND 11 293 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,570 I NEED 14 WALL UNITS IN THE FOOD-PREPARATION CHAMBER AND 11 HERE IN THE CENTRAL RECEPTION 294 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:28,071 FOOD-PREPARATION CHAMBER AND 11 HERE IN THE CENTRAL RECEPTION AREA. 295 00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:30,607 HERE IN THE CENTRAL RECEPTION AREA. AND ALSO PLEASE INSTALL 10 296 00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:32,208 AREA. AND ALSO PLEASE INSTALL 10 PINK PRINCESS PHONES IN THE 297 00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,643 AND ALSO PLEASE INSTALL 10 PINK PRINCESS PHONES IN THE SLEEP CHAMBER MODELED TO 298 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,344 PINK PRINCESS PHONES IN THE SLEEP CHAMBER MODELED TO ACCOMMODATE A PUBESCENT HUMAN 299 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:35,979 SLEEP CHAMBER MODELED TO ACCOMMODATE A PUBESCENT HUMAN FEMALE. 300 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,179 ACCOMMODATE A PUBESCENT HUMAN FEMALE. OKAY, MAN? 301 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:38,280 FEMALE. OKAY, MAN? YEAH, WELL, I THINK I CAN 302 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,048 OKAY, MAN? YEAH, WELL, I THINK I CAN GET THAT TOGETHER. 303 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,517 YEAH, WELL, I THINK I CAN GET THAT TOGETHER. I REALLY THINK YOU'RE CUTE. 304 00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:42,752 GET THAT TOGETHER. I REALLY THINK YOU'RE CUTE. VITAL COMMUNICATION FROM 305 00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:43,252 I REALLY THINK YOU'RE CUTE. VITAL COMMUNICATION FROM REMULAK! 306 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,386 VITAL COMMUNICATION FROM REMULAK! VITAL COMMUNICATION FROM 307 00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:44,887 REMULAK! VITAL COMMUNICATION FROM REMULAK! 308 00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:51,227 VITAL COMMUNICATION FROM REMULAK! [HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALING] 309 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,662 REMULAK! [HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALING] IT SEEMS THAT MERKON, THE 310 00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,263 [HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALING] IT SEEMS THAT MERKON, THE MESSENGER OF THE HIGH MASTER, IS 311 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,031 IT SEEMS THAT MERKON, THE MESSENGER OF THE HIGH MASTER, IS COMING HERE. 312 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,599 MESSENGER OF THE HIGH MASTER, IS COMING HERE. THE MONOTRON INDICATES THAT HIS 313 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,200 COMING HERE. THE MONOTRON INDICATES THAT HIS STAR CRUISER HAS ALREADY ENTERED 314 00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,268 THE MONOTRON INDICATES THAT HIS STAR CRUISER HAS ALREADY ENTERED THE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE! 315 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,536 STAR CRUISER HAS ALREADY ENTERED THE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE! MERKON? REMULAK? 316 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,371 THE EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE! MERKON? REMULAK? REMULAK... A SMALL TOWN IN 317 00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,006 MERKON? REMULAK? REMULAK... A SMALL TOWN IN FRANCE. 318 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,907 REMULAK... A SMALL TOWN IN FRANCE. YES, UH, MERKON... OUR... OUR 319 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,010 FRANCE. YES, UH, MERKON... OUR... OUR OUR UNCLE MERKON FROM FRANCE. 320 00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,044 YES, UH, MERKON... OUR... OUR OUR UNCLE MERKON FROM FRANCE. YES! 321 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,378 OUR UNCLE MERKON FROM FRANCE. YES! WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST POKE 322 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,579 YES! WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST POKE ALONG UPSTAIRS AND START TO 323 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,148 WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST POKE ALONG UPSTAIRS AND START TO INSTALL THESE PHONES. 324 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,984 ALONG UPSTAIRS AND START TO INSTALL THESE PHONES. HUMAN. 325 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:20,923 INSTALL THESE PHONES. HUMAN. [DOORBELL RINGS] 326 00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,881 HUMAN. [DOORBELL RINGS] IT IS MERKON. 327 00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:39,909 GREETINGS. I AM MERKON. I BEAR THE CRYSTAL OF THE HIGH RULERS. 328 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,645 I BEAR THE CRYSTAL OF THE HIGH RULERS. Together: NIKBAT KLARTOV 329 00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,580 RULERS. Together: NIKBAT KLARTOV MIKTUS. 330 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,783 Together: NIKBAT KLARTOV MIKTUS. [HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALING] 331 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,251 MIKTUS. [HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALING] KLAATU FA BAT. 332 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:49,952 [HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALING] KLAATU FA BAT. PLEASE SIT. 333 00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,320 KLAATU FA BAT. PLEASE SIT. OUR YOUNG ONE WILL PREPARE MASS 334 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:52,689 PLEASE SIT. OUR YOUNG ONE WILL PREPARE MASS QUANTITIES OF FOOD AND DRINK FOR 335 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:58,561 OUR YOUNG ONE WILL PREPARE MASS QUANTITIES OF FOOD AND DRINK FOR YOU TO CONSUME. 336 00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,029 QUANTITIES OF FOOD AND DRINK FOR YOU TO CONSUME. HOW ARE THINGS BACK HOME ON 337 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:00,563 YOU TO CONSUME. HOW ARE THINGS BACK HOME ON REMULAK? 338 00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:02,331 HOW ARE THINGS BACK HOME ON REMULAK? OH, WE NEVER HAVE A BIGGER 339 00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:03,866 REMULAK? OH, WE NEVER HAVE A BIGGER YIELD OF GLATLATISPHERES. 340 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,934 OH, WE NEVER HAVE A BIGGER YIELD OF GLATLATISPHERES. HIGH QUALITY? 341 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,969 YIELD OF GLATLATISPHERES. HIGH QUALITY? MMM, THE BEST... NICE, REAL 342 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:07,403 HIGH QUALITY? MMM, THE BEST... NICE, REAL COLOR. 343 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,037 MMM, THE BEST... NICE, REAL COLOR. HMM. 344 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,638 COLOR. HMM. DID THE BLEGTHARBS WIN THE 345 00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:10,573 HMM. DID THE BLEGTHARBS WIN THE PROTOID BOWL? 346 00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,540 DID THE BLEGTHARBS WIN THE PROTOID BOWL? NO! 347 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,076 PROTOID BOWL? NO! THE VALTHURIANS KICKED THEIR 348 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:13,576 NO! THE VALTHURIANS KICKED THEIR CONES! 349 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:19,315 THE VALTHURIANS KICKED THEIR CONES! [LAUGHS] 350 00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,683 CONES! [LAUGHS] I TRUST YOU WILL BE ABLE TO 351 00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:21,918 [LAUGHS] I TRUST YOU WILL BE ABLE TO STAY WITH US FOR AT LEAST A 352 00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:22,484 I TRUST YOU WILL BE ABLE TO STAY WITH US FOR AT LEAST A DECADE? 353 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:23,619 STAY WITH US FOR AT LEAST A DECADE? OH, NO TIME. 354 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,521 DECADE? OH, NO TIME. I MUST LEAVE IMMEDIATELY THIS 355 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,089 OH, NO TIME. I MUST LEAVE IMMEDIATELY THIS YEAR. 356 00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,791 I MUST LEAVE IMMEDIATELY THIS YEAR. AND HOW IS THE HIGH MASTER? 357 00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:30,459 YEAR. AND HOW IS THE HIGH MASTER? THE HIGH MASTER DEMANDS AN 358 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,694 AND HOW IS THE HIGH MASTER? THE HIGH MASTER DEMANDS AN EXPLANATION, BELDAR! 359 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,462 THE HIGH MASTER DEMANDS AN EXPLANATION, BELDAR! WHEN YOU LEFT REMULAK, YOU WERE 360 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,131 EXPLANATION, BELDAR! WHEN YOU LEFT REMULAK, YOU WERE INSTRUCTED TO SEIZE ALL MAJOR 361 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:36,899 WHEN YOU LEFT REMULAK, YOU WERE INSTRUCTED TO SEIZE ALL MAJOR CENTERS OF RADIO AND TELEVISION 362 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,167 INSTRUCTED TO SEIZE ALL MAJOR CENTERS OF RADIO AND TELEVISION AND INFORM THE PEOPLE OF THE 363 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,468 CENTERS OF RADIO AND TELEVISION AND INFORM THE PEOPLE OF THE EARTH THAT WE WOULD BE TAKING 364 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:40,402 AND INFORM THE PEOPLE OF THE EARTH THAT WE WOULD BE TAKING OVER THEIR WORLD! 365 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:40,970 EARTH THAT WE WOULD BE TAKING OVER THEIR WORLD! CORRECT. 366 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,105 OVER THEIR WORLD! CORRECT. I WAS TO INFORM THEM THAT WE 367 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:43,272 CORRECT. I WAS TO INFORM THEM THAT WE WOULD BE THE TIMEKEEPERS FROM 368 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,406 I WAS TO INFORM THEM THAT WE WOULD BE THE TIMEKEEPERS FROM THE PLANET REMULAK, WE WOULD 369 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,674 WOULD BE THE TIMEKEEPERS FROM THE PLANET REMULAK, WE WOULD REMAIN HERE FOR SEVEN CENTURIES, 370 00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:46,909 THE PLANET REMULAK, WE WOULD REMAIN HERE FOR SEVEN CENTURIES, THAT EARTH WEAPONS WERE USELESS 371 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,044 REMAIN HERE FOR SEVEN CENTURIES, THAT EARTH WEAPONS WERE USELESS AGAINST US, WE WOULD DESTROY 372 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,411 THAT EARTH WEAPONS WERE USELESS AGAINST US, WE WOULD DESTROY THEM IF THEY DID NOT COMPLY. 373 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,980 AGAINST US, WE WOULD DESTROY THEM IF THEY DID NOT COMPLY. WELL, I ASK YOU... WHAT 374 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:51,981 THEM IF THEY DID NOT COMPLY. WELL, I ASK YOU... WHAT HAPPENED? 375 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:53,582 WELL, I ASK YOU... WHAT HAPPENED? I LOST THE SPEECH I WAS 376 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,384 HAPPENED? I LOST THE SPEECH I WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE. 377 00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,286 I LOST THE SPEECH I WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE. HE HAD A SPEECH PREPARED... 378 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,654 SUPPOSED TO MAKE. HE HAD A SPEECH PREPARED... "PEOPLE OF EARTH, WE ARE THE 379 00:12:58,678 --> 00:12:59,856 HE HAD A SPEECH PREPARED... "PEOPLE OF EARTH, WE ARE THE TIMEKEEPERS OF THE PLANET 380 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:00,389 "PEOPLE OF EARTH, WE ARE THE TIMEKEEPERS OF THE PLANET REMULAK. 381 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:01,924 TIMEKEEPERS OF THE PLANET REMULAK. YOUR WEAPONS ARE USELESS AGAINST 382 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:02,291 REMULAK. YOUR WEAPONS ARE USELESS AGAINST US." 383 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,626 YOUR WEAPONS ARE USELESS AGAINST US." HE LOST THE REST OF IT, THE PART 384 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:04,827 US." HE LOST THE REST OF IT, THE PART WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS, TIMES, 385 00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:06,028 HE LOST THE REST OF IT, THE PART WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS, TIMES, DATES, PLACES, THE ORDERS FOR 386 00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:06,495 WITH THE INSTRUCTIONS, TIMES, DATES, PLACES, THE ORDERS FOR THE U.N. 387 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:07,563 DATES, PLACES, THE ORDERS FOR THE U.N. ENOUGH! ENOUGH! 388 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,065 THE U.N. ENOUGH! ENOUGH! THE PLAN FOR THE CONQUEST OF 389 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,733 ENOUGH! ENOUGH! THE PLAN FOR THE CONQUEST OF EARTH HAS BEEN NULLIFIED BY YOUR 390 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,301 THE PLAN FOR THE CONQUEST OF EARTH HAS BEEN NULLIFIED BY YOUR ACTIONS, SO YOU ARE TO REMAIN 391 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,470 EARTH HAS BEEN NULLIFIED BY YOUR ACTIONS, SO YOU ARE TO REMAIN HERE FOR ANOTHER 125 EARTH 392 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:15,004 ACTIONS, SO YOU ARE TO REMAIN HERE FOR ANOTHER 125 EARTH YEARS. 393 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,705 HERE FOR ANOTHER 125 EARTH YEARS. THEN YOU WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO 394 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,307 YEARS. THEN YOU WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO THE MOONS OF MEEPZOR. 395 00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:19,142 THEN YOU WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO THE MOONS OF MEEPZOR. MEEPZOR? 396 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,210 THE MOONS OF MEEPZOR. MEEPZOR? 125 EARTH YEARS? 397 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:21,710 MEEPZOR? 125 EARTH YEARS? MM-HMM. 398 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:22,812 125 EARTH YEARS? MM-HMM. WE'LL HAVE TO START PACKING 399 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:23,146 MM-HMM. WE'LL HAVE TO START PACKING SOON. 400 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,481 WE'LL HAVE TO START PACKING SOON. YES. 401 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,784 SOON. YES. MERKON, WE INVITE YOU TO 402 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,418 YES. MERKON, WE INVITE YOU TO CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES. 403 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:30,486 MERKON, WE INVITE YOU TO CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES. PIZZA. 404 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,687 CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES. PIZZA. PIZZA? 405 00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:34,456 PIZZA. PIZZA? PIZZA... YES, STARCH DISKS 406 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,858 PIZZA? PIZZA... YES, STARCH DISKS WITH VEGETABLE MATTER AND MOLTEN 407 00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,961 PIZZA... YES, STARCH DISKS WITH VEGETABLE MATTER AND MOLTEN LACTATE EXTRACT OF HOOVED 408 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:42,098 WITH VEGETABLE MATTER AND MOLTEN LACTATE EXTRACT OF HOOVED MAMMALS, SPRINKLED WITH FISH 409 00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:42,731 LACTATE EXTRACT OF HOOVED MAMMALS, SPRINKLED WITH FISH FLESH. 410 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:44,100 MAMMALS, SPRINKLED WITH FISH FLESH. MMM, FISH FLESH? 411 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,334 FLESH. MMM, FISH FLESH? ANCHOVIES. 412 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:46,803 MMM, FISH FLESH? ANCHOVIES. OH, WELL, I'LL HAVE THE 413 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:47,970 ANCHOVIES. OH, WELL, I'LL HAVE THE STARCH DISKS WITH NO 414 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:51,307 OH, WELL, I'LL HAVE THE STARCH DISKS WITH NO ANCHOVIES. 415 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,508 STARCH DISKS WITH NO ANCHOVIES. MMM! 416 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,876 ANCHOVIES. MMM! MR. CONEHEAD, I'M SORRY TO 417 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,278 MMM! MR. CONEHEAD, I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT I'VE INSTALLED 418 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:56,679 MR. CONEHEAD, I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, BUT I'VE INSTALLED EIGHT OF THOSE PRINCESS PHONES 419 00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:57,980 BOTHER YOU, BUT I'VE INSTALLED EIGHT OF THOSE PRINCESS PHONES IN YOUR DAUGHTER'S BEDROOM. 420 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,148 EIGHT OF THOSE PRINCESS PHONES IN YOUR DAUGHTER'S BEDROOM. PRINCESS PHONE? 421 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,716 IN YOUR DAUGHTER'S BEDROOM. PRINCESS PHONE? PRINCESS PHONE... A 422 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,185 PRINCESS PHONE? PRINCESS PHONE... A GLAMORIZED ELECTRONIC 423 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,920 PRINCESS PHONE... A GLAMORIZED ELECTRONIC TELECOMMUNICATION DEVICE. 424 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,988 GLAMORIZED ELECTRONIC TELECOMMUNICATION DEVICE. HUMANS OFTEN USE LABELS OF 425 00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,990 TELECOMMUNICATION DEVICE. HUMANS OFTEN USE LABELS OF ROYALTY AS A MASS-PRODUCT 426 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,458 HUMANS OFTEN USE LABELS OF ROYALTY AS A MASS-PRODUCT APPEAL TECHNIQUE. 427 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,561 ROYALTY AS A MASS-PRODUCT APPEAL TECHNIQUE. EXAMPLES... KING BURGER, 428 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,397 APPEAL TECHNIQUE. EXAMPLES... KING BURGER, QUEEN-SIZE, AND THE PRINCESS 429 00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:15,998 EXAMPLES... KING BURGER, QUEEN-SIZE, AND THE PRINCESS PHONE. 430 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,300 QUEEN-SIZE, AND THE PRINCESS PHONE. THE DEVICES ARE USELESS TO 431 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,500 PHONE. THE DEVICES ARE USELESS TO US, EXCEPT THAT THE BONDING 432 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,702 THE DEVICES ARE USELESS TO US, EXCEPT THAT THE BONDING POLYMERS IN THE PAINT ARE A 433 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:20,703 US, EXCEPT THAT THE BONDING POLYMERS IN THE PAINT ARE A NUTRITIONAL DELICACY. 434 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,538 POLYMERS IN THE PAINT ARE A NUTRITIONAL DELICACY. OH, BY THE WAY, I FOUND THESE 435 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,240 NUTRITIONAL DELICACY. OH, BY THE WAY, I FOUND THESE UNDER THE LUMINESCENT WATERBED 436 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:25,774 OH, BY THE WAY, I FOUND THESE UNDER THE LUMINESCENT WATERBED WHILE I WAS INSTALLING THE 437 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,543 UNDER THE LUMINESCENT WATERBED WHILE I WAS INSTALLING THE PHONES IN YOUR DAUGHTER'S ROOM. 438 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,345 WHILE I WAS INSTALLING THE PHONES IN YOUR DAUGHTER'S ROOM. AAAAAH! 439 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,146 PHONES IN YOUR DAUGHTER'S ROOM. AAAAAH! CONNIE! CONNIE! 440 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,413 AAAAAH! CONNIE! CONNIE! UNACCEPTABLE! UNACCEPTABLE! 441 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,414 CONNIE! CONNIE! UNACCEPTABLE! UNACCEPTABLE! WHERE DID YOU FIND THE 442 00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:33,049 UNACCEPTABLE! UNACCEPTABLE! WHERE DID YOU FIND THE SENSO-RINGS! 443 00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,951 WHERE DID YOU FIND THE SENSO-RINGS! I FOUND THEM IN YOUR SLEEP 444 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:35,517 SENSO-RINGS! I FOUND THEM IN YOUR SLEEP CHAMBER. 445 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,552 I FOUND THEM IN YOUR SLEEP CHAMBER. YOUR CONE IS TOO YOUNG TO 446 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:37,320 CHAMBER. YOUR CONE IS TOO YOUNG TO KNOW THE SENSO-RING! 447 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,454 YOUR CONE IS TOO YOUNG TO KNOW THE SENSO-RING! GO TO YOUR SLEEP CHAMBER WITHOUT 448 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,421 KNOW THE SENSO-RING! GO TO YOUR SLEEP CHAMBER WITHOUT CONSUMING MASS QUANTITIES! 449 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,123 GO TO YOUR SLEEP CHAMBER WITHOUT CONSUMING MASS QUANTITIES! GO! GO! 450 00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:47,964 CONSUMING MASS QUANTITIES! GO! GO! GO! 451 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,098 GO! GO! GO! MMM! 452 00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:50,499 GO! MMM! DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT 453 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:51,300 MMM! DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE PROTOID BOWL? 454 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:51,767 DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE PROTOID BOWL? YES. 455 00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:53,669 THE PROTOID BOWL? YES. IT WAS A BIG, BIG, BIG UPSET, 456 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:54,136 YES. IT WAS A BIG, BIG, BIG UPSET, MAN. 457 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:59,075 IT WAS A BIG, BIG, BIG UPSET, MAN. I AM TELLING YOU. 458 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,243 MAN. I AM TELLING YOU. THERE WAS BLACK HOLES ON THAT 459 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:00,843 I AM TELLING YOU. THERE WAS BLACK HOLES ON THAT ONE, TOO. 460 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,845 THERE WAS BLACK HOLES ON THAT ONE, TOO. OOH! 461 00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:04,747 ONE, TOO. OOH! OOH, BABY, OOH, BABY! 462 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:07,316 OOH! OOH, BABY, OOH, BABY! OOH, BABY, OOH, BABY, OOH, BABY! 463 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,621 OOH, BABY, OOH, BABY! OOH, BABY, OOH, BABY, OOH, BABY! OOH! 464 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:25,868 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, KATE AND ANNA, THE McGARRIGLE SISTERS. 465 00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,870 KATE AND ANNA, THE McGARRIGLE SISTERS. ["KISS AND SAY GOODBYE" 466 00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:29,827 SISTERS. ["KISS AND SAY GOODBYE" PLAYING] 467 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:48,690 ♪ CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE COMING THROUGH TOWN ♪ ♪ JUST SOON AS YOUR PLANE PUTS 468 00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,426 THROUGH TOWN ♪ ♪ JUST SOON AS YOUR PLANE PUTS DOWN ♪ 469 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,695 ♪ JUST SOON AS YOUR PLANE PUTS DOWN ♪ ♪ CALL ME ON THE TELEPHONE ♪ 470 00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,864 DOWN ♪ ♪ CALL ME ON THE TELEPHONE ♪ ♪ BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE TRAVELING 471 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,334 ♪ CALL ME ON THE TELEPHONE ♪ ♪ BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE TRAVELING ALONE ♪ 472 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:01,237 ♪ BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE TRAVELING ALONE ♪ ♪ COUNTING DOWN THE HOURS ♪ 473 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,572 ALONE ♪ ♪ COUNTING DOWN THE HOURS ♪ ♪ THROUGH THE SUNSHINE AND THE 474 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:04,907 ♪ COUNTING DOWN THE HOURS ♪ ♪ THROUGH THE SUNSHINE AND THE SHOWERS ♪ 475 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:07,276 ♪ THROUGH THE SUNSHINE AND THE SHOWERS ♪ ♪ TODAY'S THE DAY ♪ 476 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,312 SHOWERS ♪ ♪ TODAY'S THE DAY ♪ ♪ YOU'RE FINALLY GONNA COME MY 477 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:12,881 ♪ TODAY'S THE DAY ♪ ♪ YOU'RE FINALLY GONNA COME MY WAY ♪ 478 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,750 ♪ YOU'RE FINALLY GONNA COME MY WAY ♪ ♪ LET'S MAKE A DATE TO SEE A 479 00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:15,517 WAY ♪ ♪ LET'S MAKE A DATE TO SEE A MOVIE ♪ 480 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:16,452 ♪ LET'S MAKE A DATE TO SEE A MOVIE ♪ ♪ MOVIE ♪ 481 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,387 MOVIE ♪ ♪ MOVIE ♪ ♪ SOME FOREIGN FILM FROM GAY 482 00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,189 ♪ MOVIE ♪ ♪ SOME FOREIGN FILM FROM GAY "PAREE" ♪ 483 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,024 ♪ SOME FOREIGN FILM FROM GAY "PAREE" ♪ ♪ I KNOW YOU LIKE TO THINK 484 00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:23,125 "PAREE" ♪ ♪ I KNOW YOU LIKE TO THINK YOU GOT TASTE ♪ 485 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,294 ♪ I KNOW YOU LIKE TO THINK YOU GOT TASTE ♪ ♪ SO I'M GONNA LET YOU CHOOSE 486 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,697 YOU GOT TASTE ♪ ♪ SO I'M GONNA LET YOU CHOOSE THE TIME AND PLACE ♪ 487 00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,067 ♪ SO I'M GONNA LET YOU CHOOSE THE TIME AND PLACE ♪ ♪ HAVE SOME DINNER FOR TWO ♪ 488 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:35,104 THE TIME AND PLACE ♪ ♪ HAVE SOME DINNER FOR TWO ♪ ♪ IN SOME EASTSIDE RENDEZVOUS ♪ 489 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:38,074 ♪ HAVE SOME DINNER FOR TWO ♪ ♪ IN SOME EASTSIDE RENDEZVOUS ♪ ♪ THEN WE'LL WALK ARM IN ARM 490 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,276 ♪ IN SOME EASTSIDE RENDEZVOUS ♪ ♪ THEN WE'LL WALK ARM IN ARM AROUND THE BLOCK AND TALK ♪ 491 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,300 ♪ THEN WE'LL WALK ARM IN ARM AROUND THE BLOCK AND TALK ♪ [INSTRUMENTAL BREAK] 492 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:20,616 ♪ TONIGHT ♪ ♪ YOU'RE ♪ ♪ MINE ♪ 493 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,387 ♪ YOU'RE ♪ ♪ MINE ♪ ♪ LET'S NOT ♪ 494 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:28,290 ♪ MINE ♪ ♪ LET'S NOT ♪ ♪ WASTE TIME ♪ 495 00:17:28,314 --> 00:17:30,226 ♪ LET'S NOT ♪ ♪ WASTE TIME ♪ ♪ I DO BELIEVE THE DIE IS 496 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,494 ♪ WASTE TIME ♪ ♪ I DO BELIEVE THE DIE IS CAST ♪ 497 00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,229 ♪ I DO BELIEVE THE DIE IS CAST ♪ ♪ LET'S TRY AND MAKE THE 498 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,331 CAST ♪ ♪ LET'S TRY AND MAKE THE NIGHTTIME LAST ♪ 499 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,099 ♪ LET'S TRY AND MAKE THE NIGHTTIME LAST ♪ ♪ AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S 500 00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:38,934 NIGHTTIME LAST ♪ ♪ AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S COMING FROM ♪ 501 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,802 ♪ AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S COMING FROM ♪ ♪ BUT I WANT TO KISS YOU TILL MY 502 00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:43,239 COMING FROM ♪ ♪ BUT I WANT TO KISS YOU TILL MY MOUTH GETS NUMB ♪ 503 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,374 ♪ BUT I WANT TO KISS YOU TILL MY MOUTH GETS NUMB ♪ ♪ I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO 504 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,775 MOUTH GETS NUMB ♪ ♪ I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU ♪ 505 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,211 ♪ I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU ♪ ♪ TILL THE DAY COMES BREAKING 506 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,379 YOU ♪ ♪ TILL THE DAY COMES BREAKING THROUGH ♪ 507 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:54,816 ♪ TILL THE DAY COMES BREAKING THROUGH ♪ ♪ AND WHEN THE SUN IS HIGH IN 508 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,053 THROUGH ♪ ♪ AND WHEN THE SUN IS HIGH IN THE SKY ♪ 509 00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,354 ♪ AND WHEN THE SUN IS HIGH IN THE SKY ♪ ♪ WE'LL KISS AND SAY 510 00:17:58,378 --> 00:17:59,355 THE SKY ♪ ♪ WE'LL KISS AND SAY GOODBYE ♪ 511 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,758 ♪ WE'LL KISS AND SAY GOODBYE ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] 512 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,715 GOODBYE ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 513 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:19,323 [BEETHOVEN'S "SYMPHONY NO. 5" PLAYING] GOOD AFTERNOON 514 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,012 [PLAYING] GOOD AFTERNOON AND WELCOME TO 515 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,914 GOOD AFTERNOON AND WELCOME TO "YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, BUDDY," 516 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,784 AND WELCOME TO "YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, BUDDY," THE SHOW FOR MEN, BY MEN. 517 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,386 "YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, BUDDY," THE SHOW FOR MEN, BY MEN. WE HAVE AN ALL-MALE STAFF. 518 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,054 THE SHOW FOR MEN, BY MEN. WE HAVE AN ALL-MALE STAFF. OUR RESEARCHERS ARE MEN. 519 00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:34,156 WE HAVE AN ALL-MALE STAFF. OUR RESEARCHERS ARE MEN. OUR WRITERS, THE PRODUCERS, EVEN 520 00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:36,258 OUR RESEARCHERS ARE MEN. OUR WRITERS, THE PRODUCERS, EVEN THE CAMERAMEN ARE MEN. 521 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,793 OUR WRITERS, THE PRODUCERS, EVEN THE CAMERAMEN ARE MEN. TODAY WE HAVE WITH US 522 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,761 THE CAMERAMEN ARE MEN. TODAY WE HAVE WITH US ROY MATTHEWS OF THE NATIONAL 523 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,830 TODAY WE HAVE WITH US ROY MATTHEWS OF THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF MEN, BOB LEWIS 524 00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:43,432 ROY MATTHEWS OF THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF MEN, BOB LEWIS OF THE BLACK YOUNG MEN 525 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,933 ORGANIZATION OF MEN, BOB LEWIS OF THE BLACK YOUNG MEN RECREATIONAL CENTER, 526 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,035 OF THE BLACK YOUNG MEN RECREATIONAL CENTER, SAM MONTGOMERY, WHO HAS STARTED 527 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,504 RECREATIONAL CENTER, SAM MONTGOMERY, WHO HAS STARTED A RAPE HOTLINE, AND 528 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:51,807 SAM MONTGOMERY, WHO HAS STARTED A RAPE HOTLINE, AND TED MEYERS... TED MEYERS, WHO'S 529 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,542 A RAPE HOTLINE, AND TED MEYERS... TED MEYERS, WHO'S BROUGHT WITH HIM SOME PAINTINGS 530 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,177 TED MEYERS... TED MEYERS, WHO'S BROUGHT WITH HIM SOME PAINTINGS PAINTED BY MEN ARTISTS, WHICH 531 00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:56,912 BROUGHT WITH HIM SOME PAINTINGS PAINTED BY MEN ARTISTS, WHICH ARE CURRENTLY ON EXHIBIT AT THE 532 00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,680 PAINTED BY MEN ARTISTS, WHICH ARE CURRENTLY ON EXHIBIT AT THE BROTHERS ART COLLECTIVE GALLERY. 533 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:00,349 ARE CURRENTLY ON EXHIBIT AT THE BROTHERS ART COLLECTIVE GALLERY. AND WE'VE DECORATED OUR SET WITH 534 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,950 BROTHERS ART COLLECTIVE GALLERY. AND WE'VE DECORATED OUR SET WITH SOME OF THESE PAINTINGS BY MEN. 535 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,619 AND WE'VE DECORATED OUR SET WITH SOME OF THESE PAINTINGS BY MEN. THAT SURE IS RIGHT, CRAIG. 536 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,021 SOME OF THESE PAINTINGS BY MEN. THAT SURE IS RIGHT, CRAIG. MANY MEN ARE DISCOURAGED AS BOYS 537 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,023 THAT SURE IS RIGHT, CRAIG. MANY MEN ARE DISCOURAGED AS BOYS FROM ENGAGING IN THE ARTS. 538 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,391 MANY MEN ARE DISCOURAGED AS BOYS FROM ENGAGING IN THE ARTS. THEY'RE CALLED SISSIES OR OTHER 539 00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:10,593 FROM ENGAGING IN THE ARTS. THEY'RE CALLED SISSIES OR OTHER NAMES LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW? 540 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:11,994 THEY'RE CALLED SISSIES OR OTHER NAMES LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW? AND THEY'RE NOT TOLD ABOUT THE 541 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:13,129 NAMES LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW? AND THEY'RE NOT TOLD ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTION MADE BY MEN 542 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,363 AND THEY'RE NOT TOLD ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTION MADE BY MEN ARTISTS. 543 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,098 CONTRIBUTION MADE BY MEN ARTISTS. AT THE BROTHERS COLLECTIVE ART 544 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,766 ARTISTS. AT THE BROTHERS COLLECTIVE ART GALLERY, WE DISPLAY ONLY ART 545 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,435 AT THE BROTHERS COLLECTIVE ART GALLERY, WE DISPLAY ONLY ART THAT WAS PAINTED BY MEN. 546 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,802 GALLERY, WE DISPLAY ONLY ART THAT WAS PAINTED BY MEN. WELL, PERHAPS YOU COULD TELL 547 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:21,803 THAT WAS PAINTED BY MEN. WELL, PERHAPS YOU COULD TELL US SOMETHING ABOUT THE 548 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:22,571 WELL, PERHAPS YOU COULD TELL US SOMETHING ABOUT THE PAINTINGS, TED. 549 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:23,939 US SOMETHING ABOUT THE PAINTINGS, TED. YEAH, OKAY. 550 00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:25,241 PAINTINGS, TED. YEAH, OKAY. THE PAINTING UP THERE BEHIND YOU 551 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:26,175 YEAH, OKAY. THE PAINTING UP THERE BEHIND YOU IS A VINCENT VAN GOGH. 552 00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:27,376 THE PAINTING UP THERE BEHIND YOU IS A VINCENT VAN GOGH. HE WAS A DUTCH PAINTER OF THE 553 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,644 IS A VINCENT VAN GOGH. HE WAS A DUTCH PAINTER OF THE 19th CENTURY. 554 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,246 HE WAS A DUTCH PAINTER OF THE 19th CENTURY. HE USED UNIQUE COLORS, AND HE 555 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:31,947 19th CENTURY. HE USED UNIQUE COLORS, AND HE INFLUENCED MANY ARTISTS, AND HE 556 00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:32,648 HE USED UNIQUE COLORS, AND HE INFLUENCED MANY ARTISTS, AND HE WAS A MAN. 557 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,184 INFLUENCED MANY ARTISTS, AND HE WAS A MAN. THAT'S VERY NICE. 558 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,719 WAS A MAN. THAT'S VERY NICE. AND THIS HERE'S BY 559 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,788 THAT'S VERY NICE. AND THIS HERE'S BY PABLO PICASSO, A MODERN ARTIST 560 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:40,722 AND THIS HERE'S BY PABLO PICASSO, A MODERN ARTIST FROM SPAIN. 561 00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,124 PABLO PICASSO, A MODERN ARTIST FROM SPAIN. IT'S VERY ORIGINAL. 562 00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,360 FROM SPAIN. IT'S VERY ORIGINAL. YOU CAN SEE HE WAS A MAN. 563 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,362 IT'S VERY ORIGINAL. YOU CAN SEE HE WAS A MAN. AND OVER HERE, RIGHT BEHIND YOU, 564 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,297 YOU CAN SEE HE WAS A MAN. AND OVER HERE, RIGHT BEHIND YOU, LEONARDO DA VINCI... A PAINTING 565 00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:49,698 AND OVER HERE, RIGHT BEHIND YOU, LEONARDO DA VINCI... A PAINTING BY LEONARDO DA VINCI. 566 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,233 LEONARDO DA VINCI... A PAINTING BY LEONARDO DA VINCI. HE WAS AN ITALIAN, AN INVENTOR, 567 00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:52,234 BY LEONARDO DA VINCI. HE WAS AN ITALIAN, AN INVENTOR, AND HE WAS A MAN. 568 00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:53,335 HE WAS AN ITALIAN, AN INVENTOR, AND HE WAS A MAN. WELL, HE CERTAINLY WAS A GOOD 569 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:53,702 AND HE WAS A MAN. WELL, HE CERTAINLY WAS A GOOD PAINTER. 570 00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:54,436 WELL, HE CERTAINLY WAS A GOOD PAINTER. AND HE WAS A MAN. 571 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,837 PAINTER. AND HE WAS A MAN. WELL, THANK YOU, TED, FOR 572 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,039 AND HE WAS A MAN. WELL, THANK YOU, TED, FOR BRINGING THESE TERRIFIC 573 00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:57,673 WELL, THANK YOU, TED, FOR BRINGING THESE TERRIFIC PAINTINGS. 574 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,041 BRINGING THESE TERRIFIC PAINTINGS. I THINK THAT MEN IN NEW YORK 575 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:00,543 PAINTINGS. I THINK THAT MEN IN NEW YORK SHOULD BE SURE TO GO DOWN TO THE 576 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,545 I THINK THAT MEN IN NEW YORK SHOULD BE SURE TO GO DOWN TO THE BROTHERS ART COLLECTIVE GALLERY. 577 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:03,945 SHOULD BE SURE TO GO DOWN TO THE BROTHERS ART COLLECTIVE GALLERY. THAT SURE IS RIGHT, CRAIG. 578 00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:05,080 BROTHERS ART COLLECTIVE GALLERY. THAT SURE IS RIGHT, CRAIG. WOMEN, TOO. 579 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,682 THAT SURE IS RIGHT, CRAIG. WOMEN, TOO. YEAH, WOMEN ENJOY MEN'S ART, 580 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,683 WOMEN, TOO. YEAH, WOMEN ENJOY MEN'S ART, AS WELL, YOU KNOW? 581 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,285 YEAH, WOMEN ENJOY MEN'S ART, AS WELL, YOU KNOW? ALSO, BY THE WAY, CRAIG, AT THE 582 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,819 AS WELL, YOU KNOW? ALSO, BY THE WAY, CRAIG, AT THE GALLERY, WE PIPE IN MUSIC THAT 583 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,055 ALSO, BY THE WAY, CRAIG, AT THE GALLERY, WE PIPE IN MUSIC THAT HAS BEEN COMPOSED BY MEN. 584 00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,390 GALLERY, WE PIPE IN MUSIC THAT HAS BEEN COMPOSED BY MEN. AND YOU CAN ENJOY MEN'S MUSIC 585 00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:15,624 HAS BEEN COMPOSED BY MEN. AND YOU CAN ENJOY MEN'S MUSIC WHILE YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE 586 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:16,225 AND YOU CAN ENJOY MEN'S MUSIC WHILE YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE MEN'S ART. 587 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:17,793 WHILE YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE MEN'S ART. YES, YES, THE MUSIC WE PLAYED 588 00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,295 MEN'S ART. YES, YES, THE MUSIC WE PLAYED AT THE TOP OF THE SHOW WAS FROM 589 00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:20,062 YES, YES, THE MUSIC WE PLAYED AT THE TOP OF THE SHOW WAS FROM YOUR GALLERY. 590 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:20,929 AT THE TOP OF THE SHOW WAS FROM YOUR GALLERY. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 591 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,064 YOUR GALLERY. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. THAT WAS LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN, 592 00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:25,100 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. THAT WAS LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN, 18th-CENTURY MALE COMPOSER. 593 00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:26,502 THAT WAS LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN, 18th-CENTURY MALE COMPOSER. VERY NICE MUSIC, TED, AND 594 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:27,135 18th-CENTURY MALE COMPOSER. VERY NICE MUSIC, TED, AND THANK YOU. 595 00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,404 VERY NICE MUSIC, TED, AND THANK YOU. YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, THE 596 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:29,838 THANK YOU. YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, THE BEST CHEFS IN THE WORLD ARE MEN. 597 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,173 YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, THE BEST CHEFS IN THE WORLD ARE MEN. WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, TED. 598 00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:32,675 BEST CHEFS IN THE WORLD ARE MEN. WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, TED. WE HAD SEVERAL ON THE SHOW LAST 599 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:33,108 WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, TED. WE HAD SEVERAL ON THE SHOW LAST WEEK. 600 00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:34,410 WE HAD SEVERAL ON THE SHOW LAST WEEK. NOW, BOB LEWIS. 601 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:35,277 WEEK. NOW, BOB LEWIS. YEAH. 602 00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:37,279 NOW, BOB LEWIS. YEAH. YOU WORK UP IN HARLEM WITH 603 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,448 YEAH. YOU WORK UP IN HARLEM WITH BLACK MEN AND BOYS AND DEAL WITH 604 00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,016 YOU WORK UP IN HARLEM WITH BLACK MEN AND BOYS AND DEAL WITH THEIR SPECIAL PROBLEMS. 605 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,452 BLACK MEN AND BOYS AND DEAL WITH THEIR SPECIAL PROBLEMS. THAT'S RIGHT, CLAIG... CRAIG, 606 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:44,019 THEIR SPECIAL PROBLEMS. THAT'S RIGHT, CLAIG... CRAIG, RATHER. 607 00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:45,521 THAT'S RIGHT, CLAIG... CRAIG, RATHER. THE BLACK MAN HAS KIND OF A 608 00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:47,189 RATHER. THE BLACK MAN HAS KIND OF A DOUBLE NEGATIVE WORKING AGAINST 609 00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:47,856 THE BLACK MAN HAS KIND OF A DOUBLE NEGATIVE WORKING AGAINST HIM, MAN. 610 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,427 DOUBLE NEGATIVE WORKING AGAINST HIM, MAN. HE'S BLACK, AND HE'S A MAN. 611 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,262 HIM, MAN. HE'S BLACK, AND HE'S A MAN. NOW, THE BLACK MAN VERY OFTEN IS 612 00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:54,029 HE'S BLACK, AND HE'S A MAN. NOW, THE BLACK MAN VERY OFTEN IS ISOLATED. 613 00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,764 NOW, THE BLACK MAN VERY OFTEN IS ISOLATED. LIKE IN HARLEM, A BLACK MAN 614 00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,633 ISOLATED. LIKE IN HARLEM, A BLACK MAN LEAVES HIS WOMAN AND KIDS FOR 615 00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:59,602 LIKE IN HARLEM, A BLACK MAN LEAVES HIS WOMAN AND KIDS FOR TWO YEARS, MAYBE EVEN ONLY ONE, 616 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,303 LEAVES HIS WOMAN AND KIDS FOR TWO YEARS, MAYBE EVEN ONLY ONE, AND VERY OFTEN THE FAMILY WILL 617 00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:02,971 TWO YEARS, MAYBE EVEN ONLY ONE, AND VERY OFTEN THE FAMILY WILL HAVE MOVED AND BE GONE WHEN HE 618 00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,873 AND VERY OFTEN THE FAMILY WILL HAVE MOVED AND BE GONE WHEN HE COMES BACK, MAN, YOU KNOW? 619 00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:08,043 HAVE MOVED AND BE GONE WHEN HE COMES BACK, MAN, YOU KNOW? I MEAN, THE LOSS OF FAMILY IS A 620 00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,578 COMES BACK, MAN, YOU KNOW? I MEAN, THE LOSS OF FAMILY IS A BIG PROBLEM THERE. 621 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,079 I MEAN, THE LOSS OF FAMILY IS A BIG PROBLEM THERE. WELL, WHAT KIND OF WORK DO 622 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,548 BIG PROBLEM THERE. WELL, WHAT KIND OF WORK DO YOU DO WITH BLACK YOUNG MEN? 623 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:14,082 WELL, WHAT KIND OF WORK DO YOU DO WITH BLACK YOUNG MEN? WELL, SEE, THE BLACK YOUNG 624 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,384 YOU DO WITH BLACK YOUNG MEN? WELL, SEE, THE BLACK YOUNG MAN HAS KIND OF A TRIPLE 625 00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:16,918 WELL, SEE, THE BLACK YOUNG MAN HAS KIND OF A TRIPLE NEGATIVE WORKING AGAINST HIM, 626 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:17,319 MAN HAS KIND OF A TRIPLE NEGATIVE WORKING AGAINST HIM, MAN. 627 00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:19,788 NEGATIVE WORKING AGAINST HIM, MAN. HE'S BLACK, HE'S YOUNG... 628 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,523 MAN. HE'S BLACK, HE'S YOUNG... AND HE'S A MAN. 629 00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:23,492 HE'S BLACK, HE'S YOUNG... AND HE'S A MAN. EXACTLY. SEE? 630 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,093 AND HE'S A MAN. EXACTLY. SEE? NOW, THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS 631 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,729 EXACTLY. SEE? NOW, THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS VERY HIGH FOR YOUNG BLACK MEN. 632 00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:28,264 NOW, THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS VERY HIGH FOR YOUNG BLACK MEN. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO VERY 633 00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:30,532 VERY HIGH FOR YOUNG BLACK MEN. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO VERY OFTEN BUT JUST GET IN TROUBLE. 634 00:21:30,556 --> 00:21:32,534 THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO VERY OFTEN BUT JUST GET IN TROUBLE. SO WHAT WE'RE DOING UP IN HARLEM 635 00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:34,136 OFTEN BUT JUST GET IN TROUBLE. SO WHAT WE'RE DOING UP IN HARLEM WITH THE BLACK YOUNG MEN'S 636 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,037 SO WHAT WE'RE DOING UP IN HARLEM WITH THE BLACK YOUNG MEN'S RECREATIONAL CENTER IS TO TRY TO 637 00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:37,706 WITH THE BLACK YOUNG MEN'S RECREATIONAL CENTER IS TO TRY TO GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO KEEP 638 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,508 RECREATIONAL CENTER IS TO TRY TO GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO KEEP THEIR MINDS AND BODIES ACTIVE. 639 00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:40,876 GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO KEEP THEIR MINDS AND BODIES ACTIVE. AND WHAT IS THAT, BOB? 640 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,511 THEIR MINDS AND BODIES ACTIVE. AND WHAT IS THAT, BOB? WELL, WE'VE STARTED AN 641 00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,413 AND WHAT IS THAT, BOB? WELL, WE'VE STARTED AN ALL-MALE, ALL-BLACK BASKETBALL 642 00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:44,946 WELL, WE'VE STARTED AN ALL-MALE, ALL-BLACK BASKETBALL LEAGUE. 643 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:45,547 ALL-MALE, ALL-BLACK BASKETBALL LEAGUE. DIG THAT. 644 00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:47,115 LEAGUE. DIG THAT. REMEMBER... YOU HEARD IT 645 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,284 DIG THAT. REMEMBER... YOU HEARD IT FIRST ON THIS SHOW. 646 00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:49,652 REMEMBER... YOU HEARD IT FIRST ON THIS SHOW. BUT, EVERYBODY, WE ARE IN 647 00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:50,619 FIRST ON THIS SHOW. BUT, EVERYBODY, WE ARE IN NEED OF MONEY NOW. 648 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,187 BUT, EVERYBODY, WE ARE IN NEED OF MONEY NOW. SEE, CRAIG, WE HAVE NO BUILDING, 649 00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:53,389 NEED OF MONEY NOW. SEE, CRAIG, WE HAVE NO BUILDING, AND WE HAVE TO GO TO THE 650 00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:54,690 SEE, CRAIG, WE HAVE NO BUILDING, AND WE HAVE TO GO TO THE PLAYGROUND AND GET IN SOME 651 00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:55,591 AND WE HAVE TO GO TO THE PLAYGROUND AND GET IN SOME PICK-UP GAMES. 652 00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:58,059 PLAYGROUND AND GET IN SOME PICK-UP GAMES. WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU, BOB. 653 00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,128 PICK-UP GAMES. WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU, BOB. NOW, SEATED ON YOUR RIGHT IS 654 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,298 WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU, BOB. NOW, SEATED ON YOUR RIGHT IS ROY MATTHEWS FROM THE NATIONAL 655 00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,832 NOW, SEATED ON YOUR RIGHT IS ROY MATTHEWS FROM THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF MEN. 656 00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:05,901 ROY MATTHEWS FROM THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF MEN. THAT'S N.O.O.M., AND THEY'VE 657 00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:07,403 ORGANIZATION OF MEN. THAT'S N.O.O.M., AND THEY'VE OPENED A BAR IN NEW YORK. 658 00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,137 THAT'S N.O.O.M., AND THEY'VE OPENED A BAR IN NEW YORK. NOW, IS THIS BAR JUST FOR MEN, 659 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:09,571 OPENED A BAR IN NEW YORK. NOW, IS THIS BAR JUST FOR MEN, ROY? 660 00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:11,173 NOW, IS THIS BAR JUST FOR MEN, ROY? NO, CRAIG. 661 00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:13,509 ROY? NO, CRAIG. THIS IS A BAR FOR MEN AND WOMEN 662 00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,344 NO, CRAIG. THIS IS A BAR FOR MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE TIRED OF THE SINGLES 663 00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:16,912 THIS IS A BAR FOR MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE TIRED OF THE SINGLES SCENE HERE IN NEW YORK. 664 00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:18,880 WHO ARE TIRED OF THE SINGLES SCENE HERE IN NEW YORK. YOU SEE, THE AVERAGE GUY CAN'T 665 00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:22,351 SCENE HERE IN NEW YORK. YOU SEE, THE AVERAGE GUY CAN'T GO INTO A BAR AND CONVERSE, 666 00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:23,519 YOU SEE, THE AVERAGE GUY CAN'T GO INTO A BAR AND CONVERSE, STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION 667 00:22:23,543 --> 00:22:24,520 GO INTO A BAR AND CONVERSE, STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION WITH AN INTELLIGENT, 668 00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:25,921 STRIKE UP A CONVERSATION WITH AN INTELLIGENT, GOOD-LOOKING WOMAN WITHOUT THE 669 00:22:25,945 --> 00:22:27,356 WITH AN INTELLIGENT, GOOD-LOOKING WOMAN WITHOUT THE WOMAN THINKING THE GUY'S TRYING 670 00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:29,090 GOOD-LOOKING WOMAN WITHOUT THE WOMAN THINKING THE GUY'S TRYING TO PICK HER UP, OKAY? 671 00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:31,727 WOMAN THINKING THE GUY'S TRYING TO PICK HER UP, OKAY? SO THIS MAKES IT HARD FOR A GUY 672 00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:33,995 TO PICK HER UP, OKAY? SO THIS MAKES IT HARD FOR A GUY TO MEET A GIRL WHO DOESN'T 673 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:35,864 SO THIS MAKES IT HARD FOR A GUY TO MEET A GIRL WHO DOESN'T THINK, YOU KNOW, HE JUST WANTS 674 00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:37,032 TO MEET A GIRL WHO DOESN'T THINK, YOU KNOW, HE JUST WANTS TO GET IN BETWEEN THE SHEETS, 675 00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:37,833 THINK, YOU KNOW, HE JUST WANTS TO GET IN BETWEEN THE SHEETS, THAT KIND OF THING. 676 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,401 TO GET IN BETWEEN THE SHEETS, THAT KIND OF THING. AND YOU'VE CREATED A 677 00:22:39,425 --> 00:22:41,236 THAT KIND OF THING. AND YOU'VE CREATED A DIFFERENT ATMOSPHERE IN YOUR 678 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,205 AND YOU'VE CREATED A DIFFERENT ATMOSPHERE IN YOUR NOT-JUST... WHAT'S THE NAME OF 679 00:22:43,229 --> 00:22:43,472 DIFFERENT ATMOSPHERE IN YOUR NOT-JUST... WHAT'S THE NAME OF IT? 680 00:22:43,496 --> 00:22:45,507 NOT-JUST... WHAT'S THE NAME OF IT? IT'S THE NOT-JUST-A-MEAT-RACK 681 00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,543 IT? IT'S THE NOT-JUST-A-MEAT-RACK BAR, ELLIOTT. 682 00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:49,110 IT'S THE NOT-JUST-A-MEAT-RACK BAR, ELLIOTT. IT'S A PLACE WHERE MEN AND WOMEN 683 00:22:49,134 --> 00:22:50,612 BAR, ELLIOTT. IT'S A PLACE WHERE MEN AND WOMEN CAN JUST GET TOGETHER AND TALK. 684 00:22:50,636 --> 00:22:51,814 IT'S A PLACE WHERE MEN AND WOMEN CAN JUST GET TOGETHER AND TALK. WELL, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 685 00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:52,748 CAN JUST GET TOGETHER AND TALK. WELL, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. AND HOW IS IT WORKING? 686 00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:53,949 WELL, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. AND HOW IS IT WORKING? WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, WE'RE 687 00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:55,217 AND HOW IS IT WORKING? WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, WE'RE HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE GETTING 688 00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:56,084 WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, WE'RE HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE GETTING WOMEN TO COME ON IN. 689 00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:57,720 HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE GETTING WOMEN TO COME ON IN. THEY DON'T TRUST US EVENTUALLY, 690 00:22:57,744 --> 00:22:59,154 WOMEN TO COME ON IN. THEY DON'T TRUST US EVENTUALLY, SO TO ATTRACT WOMEN, WE'RE 691 00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:00,556 THEY DON'T TRUST US EVENTUALLY, SO TO ATTRACT WOMEN, WE'RE STARTING TO GIVE THEM FREE 692 00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:01,923 SO TO ATTRACT WOMEN, WE'RE STARTING TO GIVE THEM FREE DRINKS NOW AT HAPPY HOUR. 693 00:23:01,947 --> 00:23:03,625 STARTING TO GIVE THEM FREE DRINKS NOW AT HAPPY HOUR. WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD 694 00:23:03,649 --> 00:23:05,093 DRINKS NOW AT HAPPY HOUR. WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD DEAL, AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU. 695 00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:06,395 WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD DEAL, AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU. THANK YOU, CRAIG. 696 00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:08,029 DEAL, AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU. THANK YOU, CRAIG. NOW, OUR LAST GUEST IS 697 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,498 THANK YOU, CRAIG. NOW, OUR LAST GUEST IS SAM MONTGOMERY, WHO, I 698 00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:11,132 NOW, OUR LAST GUEST IS SAM MONTGOMERY, WHO, I UNDERSTAND, HAS STARTED A 699 00:23:11,156 --> 00:23:13,702 SAM MONTGOMERY, WHO, I UNDERSTAND, HAS STARTED A 24-HOUR RAPE HOTLINE. 700 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,471 UNDERSTAND, HAS STARTED A 24-HOUR RAPE HOTLINE. THAT'S RIGHT, CRAIG. 701 00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:19,274 24-HOUR RAPE HOTLINE. THAT'S RIGHT, CRAIG. ALMOST INVARIABLY, A MAN IS VERY 702 00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:20,676 THAT'S RIGHT, CRAIG. ALMOST INVARIABLY, A MAN IS VERY UPSET AFTER HE'S COMMITTED A 703 00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:23,278 ALMOST INVARIABLY, A MAN IS VERY UPSET AFTER HE'S COMMITTED A RAPE. 704 00:23:23,302 --> 00:23:26,882 UPSET AFTER HE'S COMMITTED A RAPE. WE GIVE THE RAPIST AN 705 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:28,817 RAPE. WE GIVE THE RAPIST AN OPPORTUNITY TO TALK TO SOMEONE 706 00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:31,286 WE GIVE THE RAPIST AN OPPORTUNITY TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT HE'S GONE 707 00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:31,854 OPPORTUNITY TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT HE'S GONE THROUGH. 708 00:23:31,878 --> 00:23:33,288 WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT HE'S GONE THROUGH. WELL, DO YOU ENCOURAGE THE 709 00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:34,656 THROUGH. WELL, DO YOU ENCOURAGE THE RAPIST TO GO TO THE POLICE? 710 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,325 WELL, DO YOU ENCOURAGE THE RAPIST TO GO TO THE POLICE? YES, OF COURSE WE DO. 711 00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:39,361 RAPIST TO GO TO THE POLICE? YES, OF COURSE WE DO. A BIG REASON WHY THERE ARE SO 712 00:23:39,385 --> 00:23:40,629 YES, OF COURSE WE DO. A BIG REASON WHY THERE ARE SO MANY RAPES IS THAT RAPISTS ARE 713 00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:42,297 A BIG REASON WHY THERE ARE SO MANY RAPES IS THAT RAPISTS ARE OFTEN AFRAID TO GO TO THE 714 00:23:42,321 --> 00:23:42,964 MANY RAPES IS THAT RAPISTS ARE OFTEN AFRAID TO GO TO THE POLICE. 715 00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:44,733 OFTEN AFRAID TO GO TO THE POLICE. WELL, WHY IS THAT? 716 00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:47,503 POLICE. WELL, WHY IS THAT? WELL, FOR ONE THING, THEY GET 717 00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:52,374 WELL, WHY IS THAT? WELL, FOR ONE THING, THEY GET ARRESTED. 718 00:23:52,398 --> 00:23:54,276 WELL, FOR ONE THING, THEY GET ARRESTED. AND THE POLICE TREAT THE RAPIST 719 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,512 ARRESTED. AND THE POLICE TREAT THE RAPIST WITH DISRESPECT. 720 00:23:56,536 --> 00:23:59,247 AND THE POLICE TREAT THE RAPIST WITH DISRESPECT. AND POLICE PSYCHIATRISTS, WHO 721 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:02,217 WITH DISRESPECT. AND POLICE PSYCHIATRISTS, WHO ARE OFTEN "WOMEN," YOU KNOW, ASK 722 00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:03,318 AND POLICE PSYCHIATRISTS, WHO ARE OFTEN "WOMEN," YOU KNOW, ASK EMBARRASSING QUESTIONS. 723 00:24:03,342 --> 00:24:04,720 ARE OFTEN "WOMEN," YOU KNOW, ASK EMBARRASSING QUESTIONS. IT'S A HUMILIATING EXPERIENCE, 724 00:24:04,744 --> 00:24:07,790 EMBARRASSING QUESTIONS. IT'S A HUMILIATING EXPERIENCE, AND WE ADVISE RAPISTS OF HIS 725 00:24:07,814 --> 00:24:09,257 IT'S A HUMILIATING EXPERIENCE, AND WE ADVISE RAPISTS OF HIS RIGHTS, AND WE GET HIM A LAWYER 726 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:10,325 AND WE ADVISE RAPISTS OF HIS RIGHTS, AND WE GET HIM A LAWYER IF HE NEEDS A LAWYER. 727 00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:11,660 RIGHTS, AND WE GET HIM A LAWYER IF HE NEEDS A LAWYER. I THINK IT'S MARVELOUS WHAT 728 00:24:11,684 --> 00:24:13,028 IF HE NEEDS A LAWYER. I THINK IT'S MARVELOUS WHAT YOU'RE DOING, AND I BELIEVE WE 729 00:24:13,052 --> 00:24:14,362 I THINK IT'S MARVELOUS WHAT YOU'RE DOING, AND I BELIEVE WE HAVE A NUMBER THAT THE RAPISTS 730 00:24:14,386 --> 00:24:16,964 YOU'RE DOING, AND I BELIEVE WE HAVE A NUMBER THAT THE RAPISTS CAN CALL 24 HOURS A DAY. 731 00:24:16,988 --> 00:24:19,289 THERE IT IS... RAPE-RAP. 732 00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:20,123 RIGHT. 733 00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:21,459 YEAH, I'D LIKE TO THANK THE 734 00:24:21,593 --> 00:24:22,626 PHONE COMPANY FOR THEIR 735 00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:24,127 COOPERATION, FOR GIVING US THIS 736 00:24:24,262 --> 00:24:24,695 NUMBER HERE. 737 00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:26,931 SO IF YOU'VE COMMITTED A RAPE 738 00:24:27,065 --> 00:24:28,933 IN THE LAST FEW DAYS, PLEASE 739 00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:30,267 CALL THAT NUMBER. 740 00:24:30,401 --> 00:24:31,936 RIGHT. NOW, IT'S COMPLETELY 741 00:24:32,070 --> 00:24:33,070 ANONYMOUS. 742 00:24:33,137 --> 00:24:39,254 AND WE SEE TO IT THAT THE NAME IS NOT PRINTED IN THE PAPER. VERY OFTEN, TO BE KNOWN AS A 743 00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:42,157 IS NOT PRINTED IN THE PAPER. VERY OFTEN, TO BE KNOWN AS A RAPIST HAS A SOCIAL STIGMA, EVEN 744 00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:45,461 VERY OFTEN, TO BE KNOWN AS A RAPIST HAS A SOCIAL STIGMA, EVEN TODAY, AND IT CAN RUIN A MAN'S 745 00:24:45,485 --> 00:24:45,894 RAPIST HAS A SOCIAL STIGMA, EVEN TODAY, AND IT CAN RUIN A MAN'S LIFE. 746 00:24:45,918 --> 00:24:47,095 TODAY, AND IT CAN RUIN A MAN'S LIFE. WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU, SAM. 747 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,029 LIFE. WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU, SAM. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 748 00:24:48,053 --> 00:24:49,164 WELL, GOOD LUCK TO YOU, SAM. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELL, WE'VE RUN OUT OF TIME. 749 00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:49,898 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELL, WE'VE RUN OUT OF TIME. THANKS, GENTLEMEN. 750 00:24:49,922 --> 00:24:50,966 WELL, WE'VE RUN OUT OF TIME. THANKS, GENTLEMEN. THANK YOU. 751 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,300 THANKS, GENTLEMEN. THANK YOU. BEAUTIFUL! 752 00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:53,669 THANK YOU. BEAUTIFUL! TUNE IN TOMORROW, WHEN 753 00:24:53,693 --> 00:24:55,236 BEAUTIFUL! TUNE IN TOMORROW, WHEN MAYOR BEAME TALKS ABOUT MIXING 754 00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:56,872 TUNE IN TOMORROW, WHEN MAYOR BEAME TALKS ABOUT MIXING MARRIAGE AND A CAREER. 755 00:24:56,896 --> 00:24:58,874 MAYOR BEAME TALKS ABOUT MIXING MARRIAGE AND A CAREER. [BEETHOVEN'S "SYMPHONY NO. 5" 756 00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:01,258 MARRIAGE AND A CAREER. [BEETHOVEN'S "SYMPHONY NO. 5" PLAYING] 757 00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:14,790 Announcer: AND NOW, "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH JANE CURTIN. 758 00:25:14,814 --> 00:25:16,157 "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH JANE CURTIN. GOOD EVENING. 759 00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:17,493 JANE CURTIN. GOOD EVENING. I'M JANE CURTIN. 760 00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:22,030 GOOD EVENING. I'M JANE CURTIN. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... 761 00:25:22,054 --> 00:25:22,898 I'M JANE CURTIN. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... JUST KIDDING. 762 00:25:22,922 --> 00:25:24,566 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... JUST KIDDING. [LAUGHS] 763 00:25:24,590 --> 00:25:26,267 JUST KIDDING. [LAUGHS] FUNERAL SERVICES WERE HELD THIS 764 00:25:26,291 --> 00:25:28,036 [LAUGHS] FUNERAL SERVICES WERE HELD THIS WEEK FOR 82-YEAR-OLD CHEWING-GUM 765 00:25:28,060 --> 00:25:29,505 FUNERAL SERVICES WERE HELD THIS WEEK FOR 82-YEAR-OLD CHEWING-GUM MAGNATE PHILIP K. WRIGLEY. 766 00:25:29,529 --> 00:25:30,906 WEEK FOR 82-YEAR-OLD CHEWING-GUM MAGNATE PHILIP K. WRIGLEY. IN KEEPING WITH HIS LAST 767 00:25:30,930 --> 00:25:32,608 MAGNATE PHILIP K. WRIGLEY. IN KEEPING WITH HIS LAST REQUEST, WRIGLEY'S REMAINS WILL 768 00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:34,142 IN KEEPING WITH HIS LAST REQUEST, WRIGLEY'S REMAINS WILL BE STUCK TO THE BOTTOM OF A 769 00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:37,779 REQUEST, WRIGLEY'S REMAINS WILL BE STUCK TO THE BOTTOM OF A LUNCHEONETTE COUNTER. 770 00:25:37,803 --> 00:25:39,615 BE STUCK TO THE BOTTOM OF A LUNCHEONETTE COUNTER. FORMER PRESIDENT GERALD R. FORD 771 00:25:39,639 --> 00:25:41,416 LUNCHEONETTE COUNTER. FORMER PRESIDENT GERALD R. FORD LECTURED THIS WEEK AT HIS ALMA 772 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,183 FORMER PRESIDENT GERALD R. FORD LECTURED THIS WEEK AT HIS ALMA MATER, THE 773 00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:43,519 LECTURED THIS WEEK AT HIS ALMA MATER, THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN. 774 00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:44,853 MATER, THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN. A FORMER FOOTBALL CAPTAIN, HE 775 00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:46,221 UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN. A FORMER FOOTBALL CAPTAIN, HE WENT OUT TO SPRING TRAINING TO 776 00:25:46,245 --> 00:25:47,523 A FORMER FOOTBALL CAPTAIN, HE WENT OUT TO SPRING TRAINING TO GIVE THE BOYS SOME POINTERS. 777 00:25:47,547 --> 00:25:49,024 WENT OUT TO SPRING TRAINING TO GIVE THE BOYS SOME POINTERS. FORD IS SHOWN HERE THROWING A 778 00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:53,862 GIVE THE BOYS SOME POINTERS. FORD IS SHOWN HERE THROWING A FOOTBALL INTO HIS HAT. 779 00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:54,696 FORD IS SHOWN HERE THROWING A FOOTBALL INTO HIS HAT. [LAUGHS] 780 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,000 FOOTBALL INTO HIS HAT. [LAUGHS] HE DOESN'T EVEN WEAR A HAT. 781 00:25:58,024 --> 00:25:59,635 [LAUGHS] HE DOESN'T EVEN WEAR A HAT. WELL, THE PRESIDENT'S MOTHER, 782 00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:01,369 HE DOESN'T EVEN WEAR A HAT. WELL, THE PRESIDENT'S MOTHER, MISS LILLIAN CARTER, WAS THROWN 783 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:03,005 WELL, THE PRESIDENT'S MOTHER, MISS LILLIAN CARTER, WAS THROWN INTO A WASHINGTON JAIL TODAY. 784 00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:04,673 MISS LILLIAN CARTER, WAS THROWN INTO A WASHINGTON JAIL TODAY. THE CHARGE... SPANKING THE 785 00:26:04,697 --> 00:26:06,842 INTO A WASHINGTON JAIL TODAY. THE CHARGE... SPANKING THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. 786 00:26:06,866 --> 00:26:08,476 THE CHARGE... SPANKING THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. THE 78-YEAR-OLD MATRIARCH, 787 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:10,412 PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. THE 78-YEAR-OLD MATRIARCH, CITING THE RETRACTION OF THE $50 788 00:26:10,436 --> 00:26:12,313 THE 78-YEAR-OLD MATRIARCH, CITING THE RETRACTION OF THE $50 FEDERAL INCOME-TAX REBATE SAID, 789 00:26:12,337 --> 00:26:14,115 CITING THE RETRACTION OF THE $50 FEDERAL INCOME-TAX REBATE SAID, "I ALWAYS SPANK JIMMY WHEN HE 790 00:26:14,139 --> 00:26:16,217 FEDERAL INCOME-TAX REBATE SAID, "I ALWAYS SPANK JIMMY WHEN HE BREAKS A PROMISE." 791 00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:19,287 "I ALWAYS SPANK JIMMY WHEN HE BREAKS A PROMISE." [LAUGHS] 792 00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:20,556 BREAKS A PROMISE." [LAUGHS] WELL, THE DRIVE AGAINST 793 00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:22,157 [LAUGHS] WELL, THE DRIVE AGAINST PORNOGRAPHY DISTRICTS IN MAJOR 794 00:26:22,181 --> 00:26:23,458 WELL, THE DRIVE AGAINST PORNOGRAPHY DISTRICTS IN MAJOR CITIES CONTINUED TO GAIN 795 00:26:23,482 --> 00:26:24,860 PORNOGRAPHY DISTRICTS IN MAJOR CITIES CONTINUED TO GAIN MOMENTUM THIS WEEK AS MORE 796 00:26:24,884 --> 00:26:26,327 CITIES CONTINUED TO GAIN MOMENTUM THIS WEEK AS MORE DEMONSTRATIONS WERE HELD IN 797 00:26:26,351 --> 00:26:27,395 MOMENTUM THIS WEEK AS MORE DEMONSTRATIONS WERE HELD IN NEW YORK. 798 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,297 DEMONSTRATIONS WERE HELD IN NEW YORK. BILL MURRAY WAS ON THE SCENE AT 799 00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:31,266 NEW YORK. BILL MURRAY WAS ON THE SCENE AT ONE OF THEM IN MANHATTAN AND HAS 800 00:26:31,290 --> 00:26:32,634 BILL MURRAY WAS ON THE SCENE AT ONE OF THEM IN MANHATTAN AND HAS AN EYEWITNESS REPORT. 801 00:26:32,658 --> 00:26:32,968 ONE OF THEM IN MANHATTAN AND HAS AN EYEWITNESS REPORT. BILL? 802 00:26:32,992 --> 00:26:34,792 AN EYEWITNESS REPORT. BILL? THANK YOU, JANE. 803 00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:36,727 THE CITIZENS COMMITTEE TO CLEAN 804 00:26:36,861 --> 00:26:38,361 UP NEW YORK'S PORN-INFESTED 805 00:26:38,496 --> 00:26:40,097 AREAS CONTINUED ITS SERIES OF 806 00:26:40,231 --> 00:26:41,632 RALLIES TODAY, AS A HUGE, 807 00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:43,200 THROBBING, PULSATING CROWD 808 00:26:43,334 --> 00:26:44,935 SPRANG ERECT FROM NOWHERE AND 809 00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:46,837 FORCED ITS WAY INTO THE STEAMING 810 00:26:46,972 --> 00:26:48,606 NETHER REGIONS SURROUNDING THE 811 00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:50,440 GLISTENING, SWEATY INTERSECTION 812 00:26:50,575 --> 00:26:53,677 OF 8th AVENUE AND 42nd STREET. 813 00:26:53,945 --> 00:26:59,995 THRUSTING, DRIVING, PUSHING ITS WAY INTO THE UNUSUALLY RECEPTIVE NEIGHBORHOOD, THE EXCITED 814 00:27:00,019 --> 00:27:02,263 WAY INTO THE UNUSUALLY RECEPTIVE NEIGHBORHOOD, THE EXCITED THRONG, NOW GROWN TO FIVE TIMES 815 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:05,601 NEIGHBORHOOD, THE EXCITED THRONG, NOW GROWN TO FIVE TIMES ITS ORIGINAL SIZE, RAMMED ITSELF 816 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,636 THRONG, NOW GROWN TO FIVE TIMES ITS ORIGINAL SIZE, RAMMED ITSELF AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN INTO 817 00:27:07,660 --> 00:27:09,771 ITS ORIGINAL SIZE, RAMMED ITSELF AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN INTO THE QUIVERING, PERSPIRING, MUSTY 818 00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:12,373 AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN INTO THE QUIVERING, PERSPIRING, MUSTY DANKNESS, FLUCTUATING BETWEEN 819 00:27:12,397 --> 00:27:14,576 THE QUIVERING, PERSPIRING, MUSTY DANKNESS, FLUCTUATING BETWEEN EAGER ANTICIPATION AND TREMBLING 820 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,211 DANKNESS, FLUCTUATING BETWEEN EAGER ANTICIPATION AND TREMBLING REVULSION. 821 00:27:16,235 --> 00:27:17,913 EAGER ANTICIPATION AND TREMBLING REVULSION. NOW, SUDDENLY, THE TUMESCENT 822 00:27:17,937 --> 00:27:19,781 REVULSION. NOW, SUDDENLY, THE TUMESCENT CROWD AND THE IRRESISTIBLE AREA 823 00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:21,549 NOW, SUDDENLY, THE TUMESCENT CROWD AND THE IRRESISTIBLE AREA WERE ONE HEAVING, ALTERNATELY 824 00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:23,151 CROWD AND THE IRRESISTIBLE AREA WERE ONE HEAVING, ALTERNATELY MELTING AND THAWING TURGID 825 00:27:23,175 --> 00:27:24,853 WERE ONE HEAVING, ALTERNATELY MELTING AND THAWING TURGID ENTITY, ASCENDING TO HEIGHTS 826 00:27:24,877 --> 00:27:26,955 MELTING AND THAWING TURGID ENTITY, ASCENDING TO HEIGHTS HERETOFORE UNHEARD OF. 827 00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:28,456 ENTITY, ASCENDING TO HEIGHTS HERETOFORE UNHEARD OF. THEN, WITH A GIGANTIC, 828 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,325 HERETOFORE UNHEARD OF. THEN, WITH A GIGANTIC, SOUL-SEARING, HEART-STOPPING 829 00:27:30,349 --> 00:27:32,127 THEN, WITH A GIGANTIC, SOUL-SEARING, HEART-STOPPING SERIES OF ERUPTIONS, IT WAS 830 00:27:32,151 --> 00:27:33,996 SOUL-SEARING, HEART-STOPPING SERIES OF ERUPTIONS, IT WAS OVER. 831 00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:35,697 SERIES OF ERUPTIONS, IT WAS OVER. AFTERWARDS, THE CROWD HAD A 832 00:27:35,721 --> 00:27:37,961 OVER. AFTERWARDS, THE CROWD HAD A CIGARETTE AND WENT HOME. 833 00:27:45,429 --> 00:27:48,844 THANK YOU, BILL. THAT WAS A VERY STIMULATING STORY. 834 00:27:48,868 --> 00:27:51,947 THAT WAS A VERY STIMULATING STORY. I'LL SAY. 835 00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:52,848 STORY. I'LL SAY. THE STORY'S OVER. 836 00:27:52,872 --> 00:27:53,682 I'LL SAY. THE STORY'S OVER. YOU CAN LEAVE NOW. 837 00:27:53,706 --> 00:27:59,087 THE STORY'S OVER. YOU CAN LEAVE NOW. UH, NO, I CAN'T. 838 00:27:59,111 --> 00:28:01,056 YOU CAN LEAVE NOW. UH, NO, I CAN'T. IT WOULD BE VERY EMBARRASSING. 839 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,490 UH, NO, I CAN'T. IT WOULD BE VERY EMBARRASSING. I SEE. 840 00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,860 IT WOULD BE VERY EMBARRASSING. I SEE. WELL, THEN, WHY DON'T YOU RELAX 841 00:28:04,884 --> 00:28:07,095 I SEE. WELL, THEN, WHY DON'T YOU RELAX AND HAVE SOME STORIES? 842 00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:09,297 WELL, THEN, WHY DON'T YOU RELAX AND HAVE SOME STORIES? THANKS VERY MUCH. 843 00:28:09,321 --> 00:28:11,033 AND HAVE SOME STORIES? THANKS VERY MUCH. MRS. MARGARET TRUDEAU WAS 844 00:28:11,057 --> 00:28:12,701 THANKS VERY MUCH. MRS. MARGARET TRUDEAU WAS SPOTTED AT AN OTTAWA DRY 845 00:28:12,725 --> 00:28:13,869 MRS. MARGARET TRUDEAU WAS SPOTTED AT AN OTTAWA DRY CLEANERS TODAY. 846 00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:15,637 SPOTTED AT AN OTTAWA DRY CLEANERS TODAY. THE WIFE OF CANADIAN PRIME 847 00:28:15,661 --> 00:28:17,673 CLEANERS TODAY. THE WIFE OF CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER ELLIOTT TRUDEAU WOULD 848 00:28:17,697 --> 00:28:19,808 THE WIFE OF CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER ELLIOTT TRUDEAU WOULD GIVE NO EXPLANATION FOR THE TRIP 849 00:28:19,832 --> 00:28:21,777 MINISTER ELLIOTT TRUDEAU WOULD GIVE NO EXPLANATION FOR THE TRIP AND REFUSED TO COMMENT ON WHY 850 00:28:21,801 --> 00:28:23,845 GIVE NO EXPLANATION FOR THE TRIP AND REFUSED TO COMMENT ON WHY HER HUSBAND HAD NOT ACCOMPANIED 851 00:28:23,869 --> 00:28:24,379 AND REFUSED TO COMMENT ON WHY HER HUSBAND HAD NOT ACCOMPANIED HER. 852 00:28:24,403 --> 00:28:25,814 HER HUSBAND HAD NOT ACCOMPANIED HER. WHEN REPORTERS CONTACTED THE 853 00:28:25,838 --> 00:28:27,348 HER. WHEN REPORTERS CONTACTED THE PRIME MINISTER AND INFORMED HIM 854 00:28:27,372 --> 00:28:28,750 WHEN REPORTERS CONTACTED THE PRIME MINISTER AND INFORMED HIM OF HIS WIFE'S TRIP TO A DRY 855 00:28:28,774 --> 00:28:30,752 PRIME MINISTER AND INFORMED HIM OF HIS WIFE'S TRIP TO A DRY CLEANERS, HE SAID HE HAD HAD NO 856 00:28:30,776 --> 00:28:32,688 OF HIS WIFE'S TRIP TO A DRY CLEANERS, HE SAID HE HAD HAD NO IDEA SHE'D EVEN PLANNED A TRIP 857 00:28:32,712 --> 00:28:34,690 CLEANERS, HE SAID HE HAD HAD NO IDEA SHE'D EVEN PLANNED A TRIP TO ANY DRY CLEANERS, AND IT WAS 858 00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:37,659 IDEA SHE'D EVEN PLANNED A TRIP TO ANY DRY CLEANERS, AND IT WAS THE FIRST HE'D HEARD ABOUT IT. 859 00:28:37,683 --> 00:28:38,960 TO ANY DRY CLEANERS, AND IT WAS THE FIRST HE'D HEARD ABOUT IT. CONNECTICUT GOVERNOR 860 00:28:38,984 --> 00:28:40,595 THE FIRST HE'D HEARD ABOUT IT. CONNECTICUT GOVERNOR ELLA GRASSO MET THIS WEEK WITH 861 00:28:40,619 --> 00:28:42,097 CONNECTICUT GOVERNOR ELLA GRASSO MET THIS WEEK WITH ACTRESS SHIRLEY MacLAINE TO 862 00:28:42,121 --> 00:28:43,431 ELLA GRASSO MET THIS WEEK WITH ACTRESS SHIRLEY MacLAINE TO DISCUSS THE EQUAL RIGHTS 863 00:28:43,455 --> 00:28:44,132 ACTRESS SHIRLEY MacLAINE TO DISCUSS THE EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT. 864 00:28:44,156 --> 00:28:45,667 DISCUSS THE EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT. GOVERNOR GRASSO THANKED MISS 865 00:28:45,691 --> 00:28:47,335 AMENDMENT. GOVERNOR GRASSO THANKED MISS MacLAINE FOR HER COMMITMENT AND 866 00:28:47,359 --> 00:28:48,970 GOVERNOR GRASSO THANKED MISS MacLAINE FOR HER COMMITMENT AND DEDICATION, THEN TOOK HER HOME 867 00:28:48,994 --> 00:28:51,773 MacLAINE FOR HER COMMITMENT AND DEDICATION, THEN TOOK HER HOME AND THREW HER ON A BED. 868 00:28:51,797 --> 00:28:53,341 DEDICATION, THEN TOOK HER HOME AND THREW HER ON A BED. WELL, AT LONG LAST, MEDICAL 869 00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:54,876 AND THREW HER ON A BED. WELL, AT LONG LAST, MEDICAL SCIENCE HAS COME UP WITH A 870 00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:56,211 WELL, AT LONG LAST, MEDICAL SCIENCE HAS COME UP WITH A DEVICE THAT COMPLETELY 871 00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:58,046 SCIENCE HAS COME UP WITH A DEVICE THAT COMPLETELY ELIMINATES THE RISK OF CANCER BY 872 00:28:58,070 --> 00:28:59,314 DEVICE THAT COMPLETELY ELIMINATES THE RISK OF CANCER BY SMOKING. 873 00:28:59,338 --> 00:29:00,716 ELIMINATES THE RISK OF CANCER BY SMOKING. IT'S A SURPRISINGLY SIMPLE 874 00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:02,417 SMOKING. IT'S A SURPRISINGLY SIMPLE METHOD IN WHICH A WHITE MOUSE IS 875 00:29:02,441 --> 00:29:03,952 IT'S A SURPRISINGLY SIMPLE METHOD IN WHICH A WHITE MOUSE IS USED AS A FILTER, WHICH TRAPS 876 00:29:03,976 --> 00:29:05,486 METHOD IN WHICH A WHITE MOUSE IS USED AS A FILTER, WHICH TRAPS ALL THE CANCER-CAUSING AGENTS 877 00:29:05,510 --> 00:29:07,089 USED AS A FILTER, WHICH TRAPS ALL THE CANCER-CAUSING AGENTS BEFORE THEY ARE INHALED BY THE 878 00:29:07,113 --> 00:29:07,622 ALL THE CANCER-CAUSING AGENTS BEFORE THEY ARE INHALED BY THE SMOKER. 879 00:29:07,646 --> 00:29:09,958 BEFORE THEY ARE INHALED BY THE SMOKER. BILL? 880 00:29:09,982 --> 00:29:11,793 SMOKER. BILL? YES, JANE, I HAVE ONE RIGHT 881 00:29:11,817 --> 00:29:13,161 BILL? YES, JANE, I HAVE ONE RIGHT HERE, AS YOU CAN SEE. 882 00:29:13,185 --> 00:29:14,896 YES, JANE, I HAVE ONE RIGHT HERE, AS YOU CAN SEE. AND IF YOU LIKE TO SMOKE AND 883 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,564 HERE, AS YOU CAN SEE. AND IF YOU LIKE TO SMOKE AND HOLD SMALL ANIMALS, I THINK 884 00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:17,766 AND IF YOU LIKE TO SMOKE AND HOLD SMALL ANIMALS, I THINK YOU'LL ENJOY THIS. 885 00:29:17,790 --> 00:29:18,867 HOLD SMALL ANIMALS, I THINK YOU'LL ENJOY THIS. [CHUCKLES] 886 00:29:18,891 --> 00:29:20,535 YOU'LL ENJOY THIS. [CHUCKLES] WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T 887 00:29:20,559 --> 00:29:21,870 [CHUCKLES] WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T HAVE A LIGHT, SO... 888 00:29:21,894 --> 00:29:23,872 WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T HAVE A LIGHT, SO... AND I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT 889 00:29:23,896 --> 00:29:24,372 HAVE A LIGHT, SO... AND I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT ONE. 890 00:29:24,396 --> 00:29:25,406 AND I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT ONE. [BOTH LAUGH] 891 00:29:25,430 --> 00:29:27,375 ONE. [BOTH LAUGH] A MEDICAL MILESTONE THIS WEEK, 892 00:29:27,399 --> 00:29:29,044 [BOTH LAUGH] A MEDICAL MILESTONE THIS WEEK, WHEN A TEAM OF DOCTORS IN 893 00:29:29,068 --> 00:29:30,979 A MEDICAL MILESTONE THIS WEEK, WHEN A TEAM OF DOCTORS IN THAILAND SUCCESSFULLY JOINED A 894 00:29:31,003 --> 00:29:33,048 WHEN A TEAM OF DOCTORS IN THAILAND SUCCESSFULLY JOINED A PAIR OF SIAMESE TWINS, WHICH WAS 895 00:29:33,072 --> 00:29:34,616 THAILAND SUCCESSFULLY JOINED A PAIR OF SIAMESE TWINS, WHICH WAS BORN SEPARATED. 896 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,417 PAIR OF SIAMESE TWINS, WHICH WAS BORN SEPARATED. HAVING GOTTEN THIS OPERATION OUT 897 00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:38,086 BORN SEPARATED. HAVING GOTTEN THIS OPERATION OUT OF THE WAY, THE DOCTORS' NEXT 898 00:29:38,110 --> 00:29:39,921 HAVING GOTTEN THIS OPERATION OUT OF THE WAY, THE DOCTORS' NEXT TEST WILL BE TO JOIN TWO SIAMESE 899 00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:41,522 OF THE WAY, THE DOCTORS' NEXT TEST WILL BE TO JOIN TWO SIAMESE CATS SO THE TWINS CAN HAVE A 900 00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:44,292 TEST WILL BE TO JOIN TWO SIAMESE CATS SO THE TWINS CAN HAVE A PET. 901 00:29:44,316 --> 00:29:46,161 CATS SO THE TWINS CAN HAVE A PET. TRAGEDY STRUCK THE WORLD OF 902 00:29:46,185 --> 00:29:48,063 PET. TRAGEDY STRUCK THE WORLD OF SHOW BUSINESS THIS WEEK WHEN TV 903 00:29:48,087 --> 00:29:49,564 TRAGEDY STRUCK THE WORLD OF SHOW BUSINESS THIS WEEK WHEN TV PERSONALITY HOWDY DOODY 904 00:29:49,588 --> 00:29:51,532 SHOW BUSINESS THIS WEEK WHEN TV PERSONALITY HOWDY DOODY COMMITTED SUICIDE ON THURSDAY IN 905 00:29:51,556 --> 00:29:53,334 PERSONALITY HOWDY DOODY COMMITTED SUICIDE ON THURSDAY IN HIS BEVERLY HILLS HOME. 906 00:29:53,358 --> 00:29:54,903 COMMITTED SUICIDE ON THURSDAY IN HIS BEVERLY HILLS HOME. CLOSE FRIEND BUFFALO BOB, WHO 907 00:29:54,927 --> 00:29:56,171 HIS BEVERLY HILLS HOME. CLOSE FRIEND BUFFALO BOB, WHO WAS VISITING, SAID THE 908 00:29:56,195 --> 00:29:57,739 CLOSE FRIEND BUFFALO BOB, WHO WAS VISITING, SAID THE 33-YEAR-OLD DOODY SUDDENLY 909 00:29:57,763 --> 00:29:59,574 WAS VISITING, SAID THE 33-YEAR-OLD DOODY SUDDENLY LEAPED FROM THE COUCH AND THREW 910 00:29:59,598 --> 00:30:02,110 33-YEAR-OLD DOODY SUDDENLY LEAPED FROM THE COUCH AND THREW HIMSELF INTO THE FIREPLACE. 911 00:30:02,134 --> 00:30:04,512 LEAPED FROM THE COUCH AND THREW HIMSELF INTO THE FIREPLACE. HOWDY LEFT A SUICIDE NOTE WHICH 912 00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:06,782 HIMSELF INTO THE FIREPLACE. HOWDY LEFT A SUICIDE NOTE WHICH READ SIMPLY, "HEY, KIDS, WHAT 913 00:30:06,806 --> 00:30:08,083 HOWDY LEFT A SUICIDE NOTE WHICH READ SIMPLY, "HEY, KIDS, WHAT TIME IS IT? 914 00:30:08,107 --> 00:30:11,153 READ SIMPLY, "HEY, KIDS, WHAT TIME IS IT? IT'S TIME FOR ME TO DIE." 915 00:30:11,177 --> 00:30:12,921 TIME IS IT? IT'S TIME FOR ME TO DIE." TODAY LARAINE NEWMAN WAS THERE 916 00:30:12,945 --> 00:30:13,922 IT'S TIME FOR ME TO DIE." TODAY LARAINE NEWMAN WAS THERE AT THE FUNERAL. 917 00:30:13,946 --> 00:30:15,490 TODAY LARAINE NEWMAN WAS THERE AT THE FUNERAL. LARAINE? 918 00:30:15,514 --> 00:30:17,492 AT THE FUNERAL. LARAINE? JANE, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE 919 00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:19,360 LARAINE? JANE, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE FOREST LAWN CEMETERY, WHERE 920 00:30:19,384 --> 00:30:21,462 JANE, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE FOREST LAWN CEMETERY, WHERE FUNERAL SERVICES HAVE JUST BEEN 921 00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:23,932 FOREST LAWN CEMETERY, WHERE FUNERAL SERVICES HAVE JUST BEEN HELD FOR HOWDY DOODY. 922 00:30:23,956 --> 00:30:25,700 FUNERAL SERVICES HAVE JUST BEEN HELD FOR HOWDY DOODY. IT WAS A SOLEMN BUT STAR-STUDDED 923 00:30:25,724 --> 00:30:27,169 HELD FOR HOWDY DOODY. IT WAS A SOLEMN BUT STAR-STUDDED OCCASION, WITH THE FORMER 924 00:30:27,193 --> 00:30:28,636 IT WAS A SOLEMN BUT STAR-STUDDED OCCASION, WITH THE FORMER PUPPET'S CLOSE FRIENDS AND 925 00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:30,038 OCCASION, WITH THE FORMER PUPPET'S CLOSE FRIENDS AND RELATIVES IN ATTENDANCE. 926 00:30:30,062 --> 00:30:31,572 PUPPET'S CLOSE FRIENDS AND RELATIVES IN ATTENDANCE. PALLBEARERS INCLUDED 927 00:30:31,596 --> 00:30:32,908 RELATIVES IN ATTENDANCE. PALLBEARERS INCLUDED CHARLIE McCARTHY, 928 00:30:32,932 --> 00:30:35,076 PALLBEARERS INCLUDED CHARLIE McCARTHY, MORTIMER SNERD, JERRY MAHONEY, 929 00:30:35,100 --> 00:30:36,477 CHARLIE McCARTHY, MORTIMER SNERD, JERRY MAHONEY, KNUCKLEHEAD SMIFF, 930 00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:38,213 MORTIMER SNERD, JERRY MAHONEY, KNUCKLEHEAD SMIFF, DAVID EISENHOWER, AND 931 00:30:38,237 --> 00:30:41,183 KNUCKLEHEAD SMIFF, DAVID EISENHOWER, AND SEÑOR WENCES' FIST. 932 00:30:41,207 --> 00:30:43,584 DAVID EISENHOWER, AND SEÑOR WENCES' FIST. FEW PEOPLE KNEW THAT DOODY HAD A 933 00:30:43,608 --> 00:30:48,023 SEÑOR WENCES' FIST. FEW PEOPLE KNEW THAT DOODY HAD A WIFE... DEBBIE DOODY. 934 00:30:48,047 --> 00:30:50,258 FEW PEOPLE KNEW THAT DOODY HAD A WIFE... DEBBIE DOODY. I SEE SHE'S APPROACHING ME RIGHT 935 00:30:50,282 --> 00:30:50,792 WIFE... DEBBIE DOODY. I SEE SHE'S APPROACHING ME RIGHT NOW. 936 00:30:50,816 --> 00:30:52,294 I SEE SHE'S APPROACHING ME RIGHT NOW. HOWDY, DEBBIE. 937 00:30:52,318 --> 00:30:54,229 NOW. HOWDY, DEBBIE. HOWDY. 938 00:30:54,253 --> 00:30:55,897 HOWDY, DEBBIE. HOWDY. OH, I'M SO SORRY. 939 00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:57,498 HOWDY. OH, I'M SO SORRY. I KNOW THIS IS A TIME OF GRIEF 940 00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:59,100 OH, I'M SO SORRY. I KNOW THIS IS A TIME OF GRIEF FOR YOU, DEBBIE, BUT WHAT'S IN 941 00:30:59,124 --> 00:31:01,169 I KNOW THIS IS A TIME OF GRIEF FOR YOU, DEBBIE, BUT WHAT'S IN THE FUTURE FOR DEBBIE DOODY? 942 00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:02,737 FOR YOU, DEBBIE, BUT WHAT'S IN THE FUTURE FOR DEBBIE DOODY? I DON'T KNOW. 943 00:31:02,761 --> 00:31:04,572 THE FUTURE FOR DEBBIE DOODY? I DON'T KNOW. WELL, THANK YOU FOR SPENDING 944 00:31:04,596 --> 00:31:07,275 I DON'T KNOW. WELL, THANK YOU FOR SPENDING THIS TIME WITH US, YOUR MOMENT 945 00:31:07,299 --> 00:31:09,244 WELL, THANK YOU FOR SPENDING THIS TIME WITH US, YOUR MOMENT OF GRIEF. 946 00:31:09,268 --> 00:31:10,812 THIS TIME WITH US, YOUR MOMENT OF GRIEF. THANK YOU. 947 00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:18,475 OF GRIEF. THANK YOU. BACK TO YOU, JANE. 948 00:31:18,743 --> 00:31:23,513 HOWDY DOODY, DEAD AT 33. 949 00:31:23,647 --> 00:31:24,647 AND NOW HERE IS 950 00:31:24,682 --> 00:31:25,749 "WEEKEND UPDATE'S" 951 00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,450 METEOROLOGIST, JOHN BELUSHI, 952 00:31:27,585 --> 00:31:29,586 WITH A WORD ABOUT THE WEATHER. 953 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,321 THANK YOU, JANE. 954 00:31:31,455 --> 00:31:33,590 TONIGHT I'D LIKE TO ADDRESS 955 00:31:33,724 --> 00:31:35,825 MYSELF TO THOSE OF YOU WHO 956 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,461 CANNOT OR ARE TOO PARANOID TO GO 957 00:31:38,596 --> 00:31:41,198 OUTSIDE, THE SO-CALLED SHUT-INS, 958 00:31:41,332 --> 00:31:43,633 PEOPLE WHO REALLY DON'T KNOW 959 00:31:43,768 --> 00:31:45,168 WHAT WEATHER IS ABOUT. 960 00:31:45,303 --> 00:31:46,803 THERE'S REALLY NOTHING TO BE 961 00:31:46,938 --> 00:31:47,537 AFRAID OF. 962 00:31:47,671 --> 00:31:49,039 HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF 963 00:31:49,173 --> 00:31:50,307 WEATHER. 964 00:31:50,574 --> 00:31:56,457 OKAY? SUNNY AND WARM. THERE'S SUN. SEE? NICE, YOU GET A TAN FROM IT, 965 00:31:56,481 --> 00:31:57,125 THERE'S SUN. SEE? NICE, YOU GET A TAN FROM IT, YOU KNOW? 966 00:31:57,149 --> 00:31:59,627 NICE, YOU GET A TAN FROM IT, YOU KNOW? IT'S SUN... MAKES PLANTS GROW. 967 00:31:59,651 --> 00:32:02,931 YOU KNOW? IT'S SUN... MAKES PLANTS GROW. PARTY CLOUDY... SEE? 968 00:32:02,955 --> 00:32:04,866 IT'S SUN... MAKES PLANTS GROW. PARTY CLOUDY... SEE? THE SUN... CLOUDY. 969 00:32:04,890 --> 00:32:06,134 PARTY CLOUDY... SEE? THE SUN... CLOUDY. WHOA. 970 00:32:06,158 --> 00:32:07,635 THE SUN... CLOUDY. WHOA. YOU CAN SEE, BUT IT'S CLOUDY, 971 00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:08,636 WHOA. YOU CAN SEE, BUT IT'S CLOUDY, YOU SEE? 972 00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:11,072 YOU CAN SEE, BUT IT'S CLOUDY, YOU SEE? CLOUDY AND COLD. 973 00:32:11,096 --> 00:32:12,407 YOU SEE? CLOUDY AND COLD. OHH, COLD. 974 00:32:12,431 --> 00:32:13,375 CLOUDY AND COLD. OHH, COLD. OHH, I'M COLD. 975 00:32:13,399 --> 00:32:14,976 OHH, COLD. OHH, I'M COLD. SEE THAT? 976 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,278 OHH, I'M COLD. SEE THAT? SOMETIMES WE GET ELECTRICAL 977 00:32:16,302 --> 00:32:17,645 SEE THAT? SOMETIMES WE GET ELECTRICAL STORMS, AND THAT'S LIKE THIS. 978 00:32:17,669 --> 00:32:22,250 SOMETIMES WE GET ELECTRICAL STORMS, AND THAT'S LIKE THIS. [IMITATES THUNDER CRASHING] 979 00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:24,852 STORMS, AND THAT'S LIKE THIS. [IMITATES THUNDER CRASHING] SOMETIMES WE GET SHOWERS. 980 00:32:24,876 --> 00:32:27,255 [IMITATES THUNDER CRASHING] SOMETIMES WE GET SHOWERS. SHOWERS ARE LIKE THIS. 981 00:32:27,279 --> 00:32:27,855 SOMETIMES WE GET SHOWERS. SHOWERS ARE LIKE THIS. SEE? 982 00:32:27,879 --> 00:32:29,424 SHOWERS ARE LIKE THIS. SEE? OR SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WEAR A 983 00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:30,858 SEE? OR SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WEAR A HAT FOR SHOWERS, AND JUST... 984 00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:32,027 OR SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WEAR A HAT FOR SHOWERS, AND JUST... [IMITATES THUNDER CRASHING] 985 00:32:32,051 --> 00:32:32,827 HAT FOR SHOWERS, AND JUST... [IMITATES THUNDER CRASHING] OH, BOY. 986 00:32:32,851 --> 00:32:33,628 [IMITATES THUNDER CRASHING] OH, BOY. YOU KNOW? 987 00:32:33,652 --> 00:32:35,263 OH, BOY. YOU KNOW? AND THEN SOMETIMES IT'S CLOUDY 988 00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:36,131 YOU KNOW? AND THEN SOMETIMES IT'S CLOUDY WITH SHOWERS. 989 00:32:36,155 --> 00:32:37,765 AND THEN SOMETIMES IT'S CLOUDY WITH SHOWERS. AND SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO HAVE 990 00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:38,233 WITH SHOWERS. AND SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO HAVE WIND. 991 00:32:38,257 --> 00:32:39,567 AND SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO HAVE WIND. YOU KNOW? THERE'S WIND. 992 00:32:39,591 --> 00:32:40,936 WIND. YOU KNOW? THERE'S WIND. THERE'S WIND... WIND AND 993 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:41,602 YOU KNOW? THERE'S WIND. THERE'S WIND... WIND AND SHOWERS. 994 00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:42,304 THERE'S WIND... WIND AND SHOWERS. SEE? 995 00:32:42,328 --> 00:32:44,672 SHOWERS. SEE? AND ALSO WE GET HAIL. 996 00:32:44,696 --> 00:32:46,074 SEE? AND ALSO WE GET HAIL. NOW, HAIL IS SOMETHING VERY 997 00:32:46,098 --> 00:32:46,641 AND ALSO WE GET HAIL. NOW, HAIL IS SOMETHING VERY STRANGE. 998 00:32:46,665 --> 00:32:47,742 NOW, HAIL IS SOMETHING VERY STRANGE. IT'S LIKE THIS, SEE? 999 00:32:47,766 --> 00:32:48,376 STRANGE. IT'S LIKE THIS, SEE? BOOM! 1000 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,345 IT'S LIKE THIS, SEE? BOOM! HAIL IS LIKE THIS. 1001 00:32:50,369 --> 00:32:51,379 BOOM! HAIL IS LIKE THIS. SOMETIMES IT CAN REALLY HURT. 1002 00:32:51,403 --> 00:32:52,680 HAIL IS LIKE THIS. SOMETIMES IT CAN REALLY HURT. IT'S LIKE... THE SIZE... IT'S 1003 00:32:52,704 --> 00:32:53,348 SOMETIMES IT CAN REALLY HURT. IT'S LIKE... THE SIZE... IT'S LIKE... BAM! 1004 00:32:53,372 --> 00:32:54,416 IT'S LIKE... THE SIZE... IT'S LIKE... BAM! IT CAN REALLY HURT YOU. 1005 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,818 LIKE... BAM! IT CAN REALLY HURT YOU. SO SOMETIMES YOU GET HAIL, SNOW, 1006 00:32:56,842 --> 00:32:58,954 IT CAN REALLY HURT YOU. SO SOMETIMES YOU GET HAIL, SNOW, WIND, AND THERE'S SNOW ALSO. 1007 00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:01,423 SO SOMETIMES YOU GET HAIL, SNOW, WIND, AND THERE'S SNOW ALSO. THIS IS SNOW, AND THIS IS HAIL, 1008 00:33:01,447 --> 00:33:03,325 WIND, AND THERE'S SNOW ALSO. THIS IS SNOW, AND THIS IS HAIL, AND THIS IS RAIN, OKAY? 1009 00:33:03,349 --> 00:33:04,492 THIS IS SNOW, AND THIS IS HAIL, AND THIS IS RAIN, OKAY? AND THEN YOU GET THUNDER. 1010 00:33:04,516 --> 00:33:09,797 AND THIS IS RAIN, OKAY? AND THEN YOU GET THUNDER. [IMITATES THUNDER CRASHING] 1011 00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:12,500 AND THEN YOU GET THUNDER. [IMITATES THUNDER CRASHING] AAH! THAT'S SLEET! YOU KNOW? 1012 00:33:12,524 --> 00:33:14,102 [IMITATES THUNDER CRASHING] AAH! THAT'S SLEET! YOU KNOW? AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING? 1013 00:33:14,126 --> 00:33:15,203 AAH! THAT'S SLEET! YOU KNOW? AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 1014 00:33:15,227 --> 00:33:16,438 AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. WHEN YOU GOT ALL THIS STUFF 1015 00:33:16,462 --> 00:33:17,805 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. WHEN YOU GOT ALL THIS STUFF HAPPENING TO YOU... GET OUT OF 1016 00:33:17,829 --> 00:33:18,173 WHEN YOU GOT ALL THIS STUFF HAPPENING TO YOU... GET OUT OF HERE! 1017 00:33:18,197 --> 00:33:19,441 HAPPENING TO YOU... GET OUT OF HERE! WHEN YOU GOT ALL THIS STUFF 1018 00:33:19,465 --> 00:33:20,641 HERE! WHEN YOU GOT ALL THIS STUFF HAPPENING TO YOU... AND IF 1019 00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:21,943 WHEN YOU GOT ALL THIS STUFF HAPPENING TO YOU... AND IF YOU'RE IN AN AIRPLANE, FORGET 1020 00:33:21,967 --> 00:33:23,611 HAPPENING TO YOU... AND IF YOU'RE IN AN AIRPLANE, FORGET IT, PAL. 1021 00:33:23,635 --> 00:33:25,180 YOU'RE IN AN AIRPLANE, FORGET IT, PAL. YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD BECAUSE 1022 00:33:25,204 --> 00:33:26,781 IT, PAL. YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE, 'CAUSE 1023 00:33:26,805 --> 00:33:28,383 YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE, 'CAUSE THEY DON'T GIVE YOU PARACHUTES. 1024 00:33:28,407 --> 00:33:29,917 YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE, 'CAUSE THEY DON'T GIVE YOU PARACHUTES. THEY GIVE YOU AN OXYGEN MASK, 1025 00:33:29,941 --> 00:33:31,419 THEY DON'T GIVE YOU PARACHUTES. THEY GIVE YOU AN OXYGEN MASK, BUT NO PARACHUTES. 1026 00:33:31,443 --> 00:33:32,887 THEY GIVE YOU AN OXYGEN MASK, BUT NO PARACHUTES. LISTEN... I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR 1027 00:33:32,911 --> 00:33:34,289 BUT NO PARACHUTES. LISTEN... I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR NOT GOING OUTSIDE, BUT THAT'S 1028 00:33:34,313 --> 00:33:35,823 LISTEN... I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR NOT GOING OUTSIDE, BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA HELP YOU, EITHER, PAL, 1029 00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:37,325 NOT GOING OUTSIDE, BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA HELP YOU, EITHER, PAL, BECAUSE WHAT ABOUT THE TORNADOS, 1030 00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:37,692 NOT GONNA HELP YOU, EITHER, PAL, BECAUSE WHAT ABOUT THE TORNADOS, HUH? 1031 00:33:37,716 --> 00:33:38,960 BECAUSE WHAT ABOUT THE TORNADOS, HUH? AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT 1032 00:33:38,984 --> 00:33:40,362 HUH? AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT CORNER OF THE BASEMENT YOU'RE 1033 00:33:40,386 --> 00:33:40,695 AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT CORNER OF THE BASEMENT YOU'RE IN. 1034 00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:42,230 CORNER OF THE BASEMENT YOU'RE IN. YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD. 1035 00:33:42,254 --> 00:33:43,698 IN. YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD. AND A DAM BUSTS. 1036 00:33:43,722 --> 00:33:45,133 YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD. AND A DAM BUSTS. A DAM BREAKS, OKAY? 1037 00:33:45,157 --> 00:33:45,833 AND A DAM BUSTS. A DAM BREAKS, OKAY? A DAM BREAKS. 1038 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,102 A DAM BREAKS, OKAY? A DAM BREAKS. [IMITATES EXPLOSION] BANG! 1039 00:33:47,126 --> 00:33:49,037 A DAM BREAKS. [IMITATES EXPLOSION] BANG! IT HITS YOU DURING A TORNADO, 1040 00:33:49,061 --> 00:33:50,972 [IMITATES EXPLOSION] BANG! IT HITS YOU DURING A TORNADO, AND A PLANE CRASHES INTO YOUR 1041 00:33:50,996 --> 00:33:53,074 IT HITS YOU DURING A TORNADO, AND A PLANE CRASHES INTO YOUR HOUSE, RIGHT? 1042 00:33:53,098 --> 00:33:54,909 AND A PLANE CRASHES INTO YOUR HOUSE, RIGHT? AND DON'T EXPECT YOUR INSURANCE 1043 00:33:54,933 --> 00:33:56,277 HOUSE, RIGHT? AND DON'T EXPECT YOUR INSURANCE MAN TO BE ON THE SPOT. 1044 00:33:56,301 --> 00:33:57,445 AND DON'T EXPECT YOUR INSURANCE MAN TO BE ON THE SPOT. NO, HE'S NO IDIOT. 1045 00:33:57,469 --> 00:33:58,246 MAN TO BE ON THE SPOT. NO, HE'S NO IDIOT. HE'LL WAIT. 1046 00:33:58,270 --> 00:34:00,048 NO, HE'S NO IDIOT. HE'LL WAIT. HE'LL MAKE SURE YOU'RE DEAD SO 1047 00:34:00,072 --> 00:34:01,749 HE'LL WAIT. HE'LL MAKE SURE YOU'RE DEAD SO HE CAN KEEP THE MONEY BECAUSE 1048 00:34:01,773 --> 00:34:03,184 HE'LL MAKE SURE YOU'RE DEAD SO HE CAN KEEP THE MONEY BECAUSE INSURANCE COMPANIES OWN 1049 00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:04,685 HE CAN KEEP THE MONEY BECAUSE INSURANCE COMPANIES OWN EVERYTHING IN THIS COUNTRY! 1050 00:34:04,709 --> 00:34:05,953 INSURANCE COMPANIES OWN EVERYTHING IN THIS COUNTRY! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE, 1051 00:34:05,977 --> 00:34:07,055 EVERYTHING IN THIS COUNTRY! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE, PAL, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE 1052 00:34:07,079 --> 00:34:08,256 AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE, PAL, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WEATHER IN THIS COUNTRY, WHY 1053 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,391 PAL, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE WEATHER IN THIS COUNTRY, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO INDIA, HUH? 1054 00:34:09,415 --> 00:34:10,992 WEATHER IN THIS COUNTRY, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO INDIA, HUH? GO TO INDIA, WHERE THEY'VE GOT 1055 00:34:11,016 --> 00:34:12,693 DON'T YOU GO TO INDIA, HUH? GO TO INDIA, WHERE THEY'VE GOT MONSOONS THAT'LL WASH YOUR CROPS 1056 00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:14,396 GO TO INDIA, WHERE THEY'VE GOT MONSOONS THAT'LL WASH YOUR CROPS AWAY, AND YOU'LL PROBABLY DROWN. 1057 00:34:14,420 --> 00:34:16,331 MONSOONS THAT'LL WASH YOUR CROPS AWAY, AND YOU'LL PROBABLY DROWN. AND EVEN IF YOU DO SURVIVE, THE 1058 00:34:16,355 --> 00:34:18,333 AWAY, AND YOU'LL PROBABLY DROWN. AND EVEN IF YOU DO SURVIVE, THE ONLY THING YOU CAN EAT ARE COWS. 1059 00:34:18,357 --> 00:34:20,035 AND EVEN IF YOU DO SURVIVE, THE ONLY THING YOU CAN EAT ARE COWS. BUT YOU CAN'T EAT THE COWS, 1060 00:34:20,059 --> 00:34:21,869 ONLY THING YOU CAN EAT ARE COWS. BUT YOU CAN'T EAT THE COWS, 'CAUSE, NO, THEY WON'T EAT THE 1061 00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:23,171 BUT YOU CAN'T EAT THE COWS, 'CAUSE, NO, THEY WON'T EAT THE COWS. 1062 00:34:23,195 --> 00:34:24,906 'CAUSE, NO, THEY WON'T EAT THE COWS. NO. 1063 00:34:24,930 --> 00:34:25,873 COWS. NO. UNH-UNH! 1064 00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:27,108 NO. UNH-UNH! THEY WON'T EAT THEM. 1065 00:34:27,132 --> 00:34:28,843 UNH-UNH! THEY WON'T EAT THEM. THEY'D RATHER STARVE THAN EAT A 1066 00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:29,277 THEY WON'T EAT THEM. THEY'D RATHER STARVE THAN EAT A COW! 1067 00:34:29,301 --> 00:34:31,046 THEY'D RATHER STARVE THAN EAT A COW! THEY ONLY THING THEY EAT IS MUD 1068 00:34:31,070 --> 00:34:31,779 COW! THEY ONLY THING THEY EAT IS MUD AND CURRY! 1069 00:34:31,803 --> 00:34:33,114 THEY ONLY THING THEY EAT IS MUD AND CURRY! AND I HATE CURRY! 1070 00:34:33,138 --> 00:34:34,182 AND CURRY! AND I HATE CURRY! I HATE CURRY! 1071 00:34:34,206 --> 00:34:35,783 AND I HATE CURRY! I HATE CURRY! I'D RATHER EAT MUD THAN CURRY. 1072 00:34:35,807 --> 00:34:36,784 I HATE CURRY! I'D RATHER EAT MUD THAN CURRY. I LIKE COW FLESH. 1073 00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:37,785 I'D RATHER EAT MUD THAN CURRY. I LIKE COW FLESH. I LIKE MEAT. 1074 00:34:37,809 --> 00:34:39,187 I LIKE COW FLESH. I LIKE MEAT. YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE? 1075 00:34:39,211 --> 00:34:40,388 I LIKE MEAT. YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE? I LIKE PRIME RIB. 1076 00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:41,789 YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE? I LIKE PRIME RIB. I LIKE SIRLOIN STEAK. 1077 00:34:41,813 --> 00:34:43,491 I LIKE PRIME RIB. I LIKE SIRLOIN STEAK. I LIKE AMERICAN FOOD. 1078 00:34:43,515 --> 00:34:44,959 I LIKE SIRLOIN STEAK. I LIKE AMERICAN FOOD. DON'T PUSH ME, CURTIN. 1079 00:34:44,983 --> 00:34:46,027 I LIKE AMERICAN FOOD. DON'T PUSH ME, CURTIN. I MEAN IT. 1080 00:34:46,051 --> 00:34:48,063 DON'T PUSH ME, CURTIN. I MEAN IT. I LIKE AMERICAN FOOD. 1081 00:34:48,087 --> 00:34:49,897 I MEAN IT. I LIKE AMERICAN FOOD. YOU KNOW, ONE THING I'LL NEVER 1082 00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:51,732 I LIKE AMERICAN FOOD. YOU KNOW, ONE THING I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND IS WHY THE JAPANESE 1083 00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:52,667 YOU KNOW, ONE THING I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND IS WHY THE JAPANESE EAT RAW FISH. 1084 00:34:52,691 --> 00:34:54,436 UNDERSTAND IS WHY THE JAPANESE EAT RAW FISH. I MEAN, DIDN'T THEY INVENT THE 1085 00:34:54,460 --> 00:34:55,303 EAT RAW FISH. I MEAN, DIDN'T THEY INVENT THE HIBACHI? 1086 00:34:55,327 --> 00:34:57,605 I MEAN, DIDN'T THEY INVENT THE HIBACHI? I MEAN, NO, THEY DON'T WANT TO 1087 00:34:57,629 --> 00:34:58,173 HIBACHI? I MEAN, NO, THEY DON'T WANT TO DO THAT! 1088 00:34:58,197 --> 00:34:59,541 I MEAN, NO, THEY DON'T WANT TO DO THAT! NO, NOT THEM! 1089 00:34:59,565 --> 00:35:00,775 DO THAT! NO, NOT THEM! THEY WANT TO EAT IT RAW. 1090 00:35:00,799 --> 00:35:02,243 NO, NOT THEM! THEY WANT TO EAT IT RAW. THEY WANT TO EAT IT WITH THAT 1091 00:35:02,267 --> 00:35:03,778 THEY WANT TO EAT IT RAW. THEY WANT TO EAT IT WITH THAT GOOEY, TRANSPARENT NOODLES, YOU 1092 00:35:03,802 --> 00:35:04,212 THEY WANT TO EAT IT WITH THAT GOOEY, TRANSPARENT NOODLES, YOU KNOW? 1093 00:35:04,236 --> 00:35:05,680 GOOEY, TRANSPARENT NOODLES, YOU KNOW? NOW, SPAGHETTI NOODLES I CAN 1094 00:35:05,704 --> 00:35:06,948 KNOW? NOW, SPAGHETTI NOODLES I CAN EAT, AS LONG AS IT'S NOT 1095 00:35:06,972 --> 00:35:07,648 NOW, SPAGHETTI NOODLES I CAN EAT, AS LONG AS IT'S NOT OVERCOOKED. 1096 00:35:07,672 --> 00:35:08,550 EAT, AS LONG AS IT'S NOT OVERCOOKED. WRAP IT UP, JOHN. 1097 00:35:08,574 --> 00:35:10,151 OVERCOOKED. WRAP IT UP, JOHN. DON'T... I SWEAR TO GOD, 1098 00:35:10,175 --> 00:35:11,553 WRAP IT UP, JOHN. DON'T... I SWEAR TO GOD, CURTIN! 1099 00:35:11,577 --> 00:35:12,253 DON'T... I SWEAR TO GOD, CURTIN! YOU KNOW? 1100 00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:13,754 CURTIN! YOU KNOW? YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I HATE? 1101 00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:14,689 YOU KNOW? YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I HATE? MEXICAN CHILI. 1102 00:35:14,713 --> 00:35:16,824 YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I HATE? MEXICAN CHILI. REAL MEXICAN CHILI, YOU KNOW? 1103 00:35:16,848 --> 00:35:18,359 MEXICAN CHILI. REAL MEXICAN CHILI, YOU KNOW? BECAUSE IT'S GREEN, YOU KNOW? 1104 00:35:18,383 --> 00:35:19,961 REAL MEXICAN CHILI, YOU KNOW? BECAUSE IT'S GREEN, YOU KNOW? IT'S GREEN, AND IT'S REAL HOT. 1105 00:35:19,985 --> 00:35:21,662 BECAUSE IT'S GREEN, YOU KNOW? IT'S GREEN, AND IT'S REAL HOT. IT'S NOT LIKE THE CHILI I HAD IN 1106 00:35:21,686 --> 00:35:23,231 IT'S GREEN, AND IT'S REAL HOT. IT'S NOT LIKE THE CHILI I HAD IN THE CAFETERIA AT SCHOOL, WHICH 1107 00:35:23,255 --> 00:35:24,932 IT'S NOT LIKE THE CHILI I HAD IN THE CAFETERIA AT SCHOOL, WHICH WAS RED CHILI WITH MEAT AND WITH 1108 00:35:24,956 --> 00:35:25,433 THE CAFETERIA AT SCHOOL, WHICH WAS RED CHILI WITH MEAT AND WITH BEANS. 1109 00:35:25,457 --> 00:35:27,202 WAS RED CHILI WITH MEAT AND WITH BEANS. AND THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GONNA 1110 00:35:27,226 --> 00:35:28,436 BEANS. AND THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GONNA PAY FOR IT OR EAT IT. 1111 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:30,037 AND THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GONNA PAY FOR IT OR EAT IT. I TOLD THE WAITRESS, "I'M NOT 1112 00:35:30,061 --> 00:35:31,038 PAY FOR IT OR EAT IT. I TOLD THE WAITRESS, "I'M NOT PAYING FOR THIS! 1113 00:35:31,062 --> 00:35:32,540 I TOLD THE WAITRESS, "I'M NOT PAYING FOR THIS! THIS IS NOT THE CHILI I KNOW! 1114 00:35:32,564 --> 00:35:34,142 PAYING FOR THIS! THIS IS NOT THE CHILI I KNOW! WHERE ARE THE CHILI BEANS, HUH?! 1115 00:35:34,166 --> 00:35:35,276 THIS IS NOT THE CHILI I KNOW! WHERE ARE THE CHILI BEANS, HUH?! WHERE'S THE MEAT?! 1116 00:35:35,300 --> 00:35:36,644 WHERE ARE THE CHILI BEANS, HUH?! WHERE'S THE MEAT?! WHERE IS IT? FORGET IT! 1117 00:35:36,668 --> 00:35:39,380 WHERE'S THE MEAT?! WHERE IS IT? FORGET IT! I'M NOT GONNA... "AAH! AAH! AAH! 1118 00:35:39,404 --> 00:35:43,184 WHERE IS IT? FORGET IT! I'M NOT GONNA... "AAH! AAH! AAH! OH, GOD! 1119 00:35:43,208 --> 00:35:44,619 I'M NOT GONNA... "AAH! AAH! AAH! OH, GOD! THAT'S THE NEWS TONIGHT. 1120 00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:46,254 OH, GOD! THAT'S THE NEWS TONIGHT. GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT 1121 00:35:46,278 --> 00:35:48,958 THAT'S THE NEWS TONIGHT. GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. 1122 00:35:51,882 --> 00:35:56,297 [BRUCE JOHNSTON'S "I WRITE THE SONGS" PLAYING] ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS THAT MAKE 1123 00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:59,467 [SONGS" PLAYING] ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS THAT MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD SING ♪ 1124 00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:01,336 ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS THAT MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD SING ♪ ♪ I WRITE THE NOTES AND THE 1125 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,273 THE WHOLE WORLD SING ♪ ♪ I WRITE THE NOTES AND THE WORDS AND EVERYTHING ♪ 1126 00:36:05,297 --> 00:36:07,275 ♪ I WRITE THE NOTES AND THE WORDS AND EVERYTHING ♪ ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS THAT MAKE 1127 00:36:07,299 --> 00:36:10,345 WORDS AND EVERYTHING ♪ ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS THAT MAKE THE YOUNG GIRLS CRY ♪ 1128 00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:12,213 ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS THAT MAKE THE YOUNG GIRLS CRY ♪ ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS ♪ 1129 00:36:12,237 --> 00:36:15,316 THE YOUNG GIRLS CRY ♪ ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS ♪ ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS ♪ 1130 00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:16,884 ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS ♪ ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS ♪ ♪ I AM MUSIC ♪ 1131 00:36:16,908 --> 00:36:23,858 ♪ I WRITE THE SONGS ♪ ♪ I AM MUSIC ♪ ♪ AND I WRITE THE SONGS ♪ 1132 00:36:23,882 --> 00:36:25,160 ♪ I AM MUSIC ♪ ♪ AND I WRITE THE SONGS ♪ THANK YOU. 1133 00:36:25,184 --> 00:36:27,028 ♪ AND I WRITE THE SONGS ♪ THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 1134 00:36:27,052 --> 00:36:27,495 THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. HELLO. 1135 00:36:27,519 --> 00:36:28,896 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. HELLO. WELCOME TO THE ZEPHYR ROOM, UP 1136 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,298 HELLO. WELCOME TO THE ZEPHYR ROOM, UP AT THE BEAUTIFUL BREEZY POINT 1137 00:36:30,322 --> 00:36:31,533 WELCOME TO THE ZEPHYR ROOM, UP AT THE BEAUTIFUL BREEZY POINT LODGE AT LAKE MINNEHONKA. 1138 00:36:31,557 --> 00:36:33,000 AT THE BEAUTIFUL BREEZY POINT LODGE AT LAKE MINNEHONKA. MY NAME IS NICK SUMMERS. 1139 00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:33,934 LODGE AT LAKE MINNEHONKA. MY NAME IS NICK SUMMERS. THANK YOU. 1140 00:36:33,958 --> 00:36:35,470 MY NAME IS NICK SUMMERS. THANK YOU. AND I'M GONNA TRY TO ENTERTAIN 1141 00:36:35,494 --> 00:36:36,671 THANK YOU. AND I'M GONNA TRY TO ENTERTAIN YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 1142 00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:38,606 AND I'M GONNA TRY TO ENTERTAIN YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE. I WANT TO THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN. 1143 00:36:38,630 --> 00:36:39,974 YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE. I WANT TO THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT A 1144 00:36:39,998 --> 00:36:41,409 I WANT TO THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT A MINNEHONKA SUMMER IS A FUN 1145 00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:41,976 I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT A MINNEHONKA SUMMER IS A FUN SUMMER. 1146 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,511 MINNEHONKA SUMMER IS A FUN SUMMER. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR. 1147 00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:45,079 SUMMER. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR. THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR, AND 1148 00:36:45,103 --> 00:36:46,314 THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR. THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR, AND I'M KIND OF A FUN GUY. 1149 00:36:46,338 --> 00:36:47,848 THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR, AND I'M KIND OF A FUN GUY. SO LET'S RELAX AND HAVE A LITTLE 1150 00:36:47,872 --> 00:36:48,716 I'M KIND OF A FUN GUY. SO LET'S RELAX AND HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF FUN. 1151 00:36:48,740 --> 00:36:50,552 SO LET'S RELAX AND HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF FUN. SAY, DID ANYBODY HEAR A LOON 1152 00:36:50,576 --> 00:36:52,253 BIT OF FUN. SAY, DID ANYBODY HEAR A LOON ABOUT 6:15, HUH? 1153 00:36:52,277 --> 00:36:52,620 SAY, DID ANYBODY HEAR A LOON ABOUT 6:15, HUH? I DID. 1154 00:36:52,644 --> 00:36:53,688 ABOUT 6:15, HUH? I DID. YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP YOUR EARS 1155 00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:54,021 I DID. YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP YOUR EARS OPEN. 1156 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:54,922 YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP YOUR EARS OPEN. [PIANO KEYS TINKLING] 1157 00:36:54,946 --> 00:36:56,023 OPEN. [PIANO KEYS TINKLING] YES, THAT'S WHAT THEY SOUND 1158 00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:56,591 [PIANO KEYS TINKLING] YES, THAT'S WHAT THEY SOUND LIKE, PAUL. 1159 00:36:56,615 --> 00:36:57,792 YES, THAT'S WHAT THEY SOUND LIKE, PAUL. [CHUCKLES] 1160 00:36:57,816 --> 00:36:59,260 LIKE, PAUL. [CHUCKLES] AND IF YOU WANT THE KIDS TO SEE 1161 00:36:59,284 --> 00:37:00,761 [CHUCKLES] AND IF YOU WANT THE KIDS TO SEE SOME DEER, GET UP ABOUT 6:30 AND 1162 00:37:00,785 --> 00:37:02,096 AND IF YOU WANT THE KIDS TO SEE SOME DEER, GET UP ABOUT 6:30 AND STAND OVER BY THE VOLLEYBALL 1163 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:03,464 SOME DEER, GET UP ABOUT 6:30 AND STAND OVER BY THE VOLLEYBALL COURTS, AND THEY'LL COME OUT. 1164 00:37:03,488 --> 00:37:04,332 STAND OVER BY THE VOLLEYBALL COURTS, AND THEY'LL COME OUT. BELIEVE ME. 1165 00:37:04,356 --> 00:37:05,533 COURTS, AND THEY'LL COME OUT. BELIEVE ME. OH, FOR ME, I BET. 1166 00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:07,968 BELIEVE ME. OH, FOR ME, I BET. THANKS, JANE. 1167 00:37:07,992 --> 00:37:09,237 OH, FOR ME, I BET. THANKS, JANE. OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 1168 00:37:09,261 --> 00:37:10,505 THANKS, JANE. OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU. JANE'S JUST TOLD ME WE'VE GOT AN 1169 00:37:10,529 --> 00:37:11,772 OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU. JANE'S JUST TOLD ME WE'VE GOT AN ANNIVERSARY AT THE BREEZY POINT 1170 00:37:11,796 --> 00:37:12,940 JANE'S JUST TOLD ME WE'VE GOT AN ANNIVERSARY AT THE BREEZY POINT TONIGHT, RIGHT DOWN IN FRONT. 1171 00:37:12,964 --> 00:37:14,809 ANNIVERSARY AT THE BREEZY POINT TONIGHT, RIGHT DOWN IN FRONT. HELLO, AND YOU ARE MR. AND 1172 00:37:14,833 --> 00:37:15,476 TONIGHT, RIGHT DOWN IN FRONT. HELLO, AND YOU ARE MR. AND MRS... 1173 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:17,212 HELLO, AND YOU ARE MR. AND MRS... GUNNER ALQUIST FROM 1174 00:37:17,236 --> 00:37:18,513 MRS... GUNNER ALQUIST FROM FOND DU LAC, WISCONSIN. 1175 00:37:18,537 --> 00:37:19,747 GUNNER ALQUIST FROM FOND DU LAC, WISCONSIN. OH, WELCOME ABOARD. 1176 00:37:19,771 --> 00:37:21,416 FOND DU LAC, WISCONSIN. OH, WELCOME ABOARD. AND, MRS. ALQUIST, DO YOU STILL 1177 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:22,950 OH, WELCOME ABOARD. AND, MRS. ALQUIST, DO YOU STILL LOVE HIM JUST AS MUCH AS YOU 1178 00:37:22,974 --> 00:37:23,585 AND, MRS. ALQUIST, DO YOU STILL LOVE HIM JUST AS MUCH AS YOU EVER DID? 1179 00:37:23,609 --> 00:37:25,086 LOVE HIM JUST AS MUCH AS YOU EVER DID? YES, I DO. 1180 00:37:25,110 --> 00:37:26,521 EVER DID? YES, I DO. IF YOU HAD IT ALL TO DO OVER 1181 00:37:26,545 --> 00:37:27,655 YES, I DO. IF YOU HAD IT ALL TO DO OVER AGAIN, WOULD YOU DO IT? 1182 00:37:27,679 --> 00:37:29,657 IF YOU HAD IT ALL TO DO OVER AGAIN, WOULD YOU DO IT? NO. 1183 00:37:29,681 --> 00:37:30,758 AGAIN, WOULD YOU DO IT? NO. IS THERE A SONG THAT I CAN 1184 00:37:30,782 --> 00:37:31,492 NO. IS THERE A SONG THAT I CAN SING FOR YOU TWO? 1185 00:37:31,516 --> 00:37:33,127 IS THERE A SONG THAT I CAN SING FOR YOU TWO? NO! 1186 00:37:33,151 --> 00:37:34,395 SING FOR YOU TWO? NO! WELL, I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY 1187 00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:35,396 NO! WELL, I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY THIS. 1188 00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:38,299 WELL, I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY THIS. ♪ HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MR. AND 1189 00:37:38,323 --> 00:37:41,703 THIS. ♪ HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MR. AND MRS. GUNNER ALQUIST ♪ 1190 00:37:41,727 --> 00:37:47,609 ♪ HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MR. AND MRS. GUNNER ALQUIST ♪ ♪ HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU ♪ 1191 00:37:47,633 --> 00:37:48,909 MRS. GUNNER ALQUIST ♪ ♪ HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU ♪ THANK YOU. 1192 00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,411 ♪ HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU ♪ THANK YOU. I WANT TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY 1193 00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:51,879 THANK YOU. I WANT TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO INTRODUCE A CELEBRITY IN THE 1194 00:37:51,903 --> 00:37:53,414 I WANT TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO INTRODUCE A CELEBRITY IN THE AUDIENCE, SITTING WAY BACK THERE 1195 00:37:53,438 --> 00:37:54,115 TO INTRODUCE A CELEBRITY IN THE AUDIENCE, SITTING WAY BACK THERE IN THE DARK. 1196 00:37:54,139 --> 00:37:55,717 AUDIENCE, SITTING WAY BACK THERE IN THE DARK. I ALMOST CAN'T SEE YOU, SKEETER. 1197 00:37:55,741 --> 00:37:57,218 IN THE DARK. I ALMOST CAN'T SEE YOU, SKEETER. DON'T YOU WANT ANYBODY TO KNOW 1198 00:37:57,242 --> 00:37:58,152 I ALMOST CAN'T SEE YOU, SKEETER. DON'T YOU WANT ANYBODY TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE? 1199 00:37:58,176 --> 00:37:59,854 DON'T YOU WANT ANYBODY TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE? THE MAN WHO PUT THE BREEZY POINT 1200 00:37:59,878 --> 00:38:00,888 THAT YOU'RE HERE? THE MAN WHO PUT THE BREEZY POINT LODGE ON THE MAP, 1201 00:38:00,912 --> 00:38:02,557 THE MAN WHO PUT THE BREEZY POINT LODGE ON THE MAP, LAKE MINNEHONKA'S OWN WATER-SKI 1202 00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:04,058 LODGE ON THE MAP, LAKE MINNEHONKA'S OWN WATER-SKI INSTRUCTOR... SKEETER MILLER! 1203 00:38:04,082 --> 00:38:05,126 LAKE MINNEHONKA'S OWN WATER-SKI INSTRUCTOR... SKEETER MILLER! COME ON! LET'S HEAR IT! 1204 00:38:05,150 --> 00:38:06,628 INSTRUCTOR... SKEETER MILLER! COME ON! LET'S HEAR IT! HE ALSO DOES A HECK OF A JOB 1205 00:38:06,652 --> 00:38:08,263 COME ON! LET'S HEAR IT! HE ALSO DOES A HECK OF A JOB WITH THE WATER SHOW ON SATURDAY 1206 00:38:08,287 --> 00:38:08,996 HE ALSO DOES A HECK OF A JOB WITH THE WATER SHOW ON SATURDAY AFTERNOONS. 1207 00:38:09,020 --> 00:38:10,231 WITH THE WATER SHOW ON SATURDAY AFTERNOONS. AND WHO IS THIS PRETTY YOUNG 1208 00:38:10,255 --> 00:38:10,931 AFTERNOONS. AND WHO IS THIS PRETTY YOUNG MISS, SKEETER? 1209 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:12,600 AND WHO IS THIS PRETTY YOUNG MISS, SKEETER? WHAT'S YOUR NAME, MISS? 1210 00:38:12,624 --> 00:38:14,135 MISS, SKEETER? WHAT'S YOUR NAME, MISS? THAT'S "MRS." 1211 00:38:14,159 --> 00:38:15,570 WHAT'S YOUR NAME, MISS? THAT'S "MRS." MRS... 1212 00:38:15,594 --> 00:38:17,338 THAT'S "MRS." MRS... MRS. CAMPBELL. 1213 00:38:17,362 --> 00:38:18,105 MRS... MRS. CAMPBELL. MRS. CAMPBELL. 1214 00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:18,773 MRS. CAMPBELL. MRS. CAMPBELL. OH, OF COURSE. 1215 00:38:18,797 --> 00:38:19,974 MRS. CAMPBELL. OH, OF COURSE. YOUR HUSBAND BROKE HIS ANKLE. 1216 00:38:19,998 --> 00:38:21,276 OH, OF COURSE. YOUR HUSBAND BROKE HIS ANKLE. HE'S GONNA BE LAID UP THIS WEEK. 1217 00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:22,377 YOUR HUSBAND BROKE HIS ANKLE. HE'S GONNA BE LAID UP THIS WEEK. MUCHO SORRY ABOUT THAT. 1218 00:38:22,401 --> 00:38:23,811 HE'S GONNA BE LAID UP THIS WEEK. MUCHO SORRY ABOUT THAT. WELL, I'M AWFULLY GLAD THAT YOU 1219 00:38:23,835 --> 00:38:24,579 MUCHO SORRY ABOUT THAT. WELL, I'M AWFULLY GLAD THAT YOU TWO COULD COME. 1220 00:38:24,603 --> 00:38:25,546 WELL, I'M AWFULLY GLAD THAT YOU TWO COULD COME. THANK YOU FOR THAT. 1221 00:38:25,570 --> 00:38:27,014 TWO COULD COME. THANK YOU FOR THAT. AND BE SURE, EVERYBODY, TO CHECK 1222 00:38:27,038 --> 00:38:28,483 THANK YOU FOR THAT. AND BE SURE, EVERYBODY, TO CHECK OUT SKEETER'S SHOW OR ASK HIM TO 1223 00:38:28,507 --> 00:38:29,817 AND BE SURE, EVERYBODY, TO CHECK OUT SKEETER'S SHOW OR ASK HIM TO HELP YOU GET UP ON THE BOARDS 1224 00:38:29,841 --> 00:38:30,918 OUT SKEETER'S SHOW OR ASK HIM TO HELP YOU GET UP ON THE BOARDS YOURSELF, 'CAUSE HE'S A 1225 00:38:30,942 --> 00:38:31,486 HELP YOU GET UP ON THE BOARDS YOURSELF, 'CAUSE HE'S A TERRIFIC... 1226 00:38:31,510 --> 00:38:32,287 YOURSELF, 'CAUSE HE'S A TERRIFIC... [FANFARE PLAYS] 1227 00:38:32,311 --> 00:38:32,820 TERRIFIC... [FANFARE PLAYS] UH-OH! 1228 00:38:32,844 --> 00:38:34,422 [FANFARE PLAYS] UH-OH! THAT'S THE CATCH-OF-THE-DAY 1229 00:38:34,446 --> 00:38:36,291 UH-OH! THAT'S THE CATCH-OF-THE-DAY FANFARE, WHICH CAN MEAN ONLY ONE 1230 00:38:36,315 --> 00:38:37,892 THAT'S THE CATCH-OF-THE-DAY FANFARE, WHICH CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING... TIME FOR A SPECIAL 1231 00:38:37,916 --> 00:38:41,829 FANFARE, WHICH CAN MEAN ONLY ONE THING... TIME FOR A SPECIAL EVENT... THE CATCH OF THE DAY! 1232 00:38:41,853 --> 00:38:43,264 THING... TIME FOR A SPECIAL EVENT... THE CATCH OF THE DAY! HERE HE IS... THE BIGGEST FISH 1233 00:38:43,288 --> 00:38:44,799 EVENT... THE CATCH OF THE DAY! HERE HE IS... THE BIGGEST FISH PULLED ON LAKE MINNEHONKA TODAY, 1234 00:38:44,823 --> 00:38:46,233 HERE HE IS... THE BIGGEST FISH PULLED ON LAKE MINNEHONKA TODAY, CAUGHT BY OUR OWN FISHING AND 1235 00:38:46,257 --> 00:38:47,134 PULLED ON LAKE MINNEHONKA TODAY, CAUGHT BY OUR OWN FISHING AND SNOWMOBILE GUIDE, 1236 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,736 CAUGHT BY OUR OWN FISHING AND SNOWMOBILE GUIDE, JIMMY JOE RED SKY. 1237 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:49,970 SNOWMOBILE GUIDE, JIMMY JOE RED SKY. HE IS THE BEST GUIDE IN THE 1238 00:38:49,994 --> 00:38:51,306 JIMMY JOE RED SKY. HE IS THE BEST GUIDE IN THE PARTS, NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT. 1239 00:38:51,330 --> 00:38:52,740 HE IS THE BEST GUIDE IN THE PARTS, NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT. HE'S GOT A BEAUTIFUL CHRIS-CRAFT 1240 00:38:52,764 --> 00:38:53,541 PARTS, NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT. HE'S GOT A BEAUTIFUL CHRIS-CRAFT WITH TWIN MERCS. 1241 00:38:53,565 --> 00:38:54,875 HE'S GOT A BEAUTIFUL CHRIS-CRAFT WITH TWIN MERCS. AND HE PACKS THE LUNCH, RIGHT, 1242 00:38:54,899 --> 00:38:56,010 WITH TWIN MERCS. AND HE PACKS THE LUNCH, RIGHT, JIMMY JOE? 1243 00:38:56,034 --> 00:38:57,345 AND HE PACKS THE LUNCH, RIGHT, JIMMY JOE? [Midwestern accent] BETTER 1244 00:38:57,369 --> 00:38:58,479 JIMMY JOE? [Midwestern accent] BETTER NOT TOUCH THAT FISH THERE. 1245 00:38:58,503 --> 00:38:59,781 [Midwestern accent] BETTER NOT TOUCH THAT FISH THERE. I'LL TAKE YOUR HAND RIGHT OFF. 1246 00:38:59,805 --> 00:39:01,516 NOT TOUCH THAT FISH THERE. I'LL TAKE YOUR HAND RIGHT OFF. LOOK AT THOSE TEETH! 1247 00:39:01,540 --> 00:39:03,184 I'LL TAKE YOUR HAND RIGHT OFF. LOOK AT THOSE TEETH! YOU WANT ONE OF THESE, YOU COME 1248 00:39:03,208 --> 00:39:04,719 LOOK AT THOSE TEETH! YOU WANT ONE OF THESE, YOU COME TO THE DOCK TOMORROW WITH 10 1249 00:39:04,743 --> 00:39:06,287 YOU WANT ONE OF THESE, YOU COME TO THE DOCK TOMORROW WITH 10 BUCKS AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING. 1250 00:39:06,311 --> 00:39:07,622 TO THE DOCK TOMORROW WITH 10 BUCKS AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING. I'LL GET YOU A COUPLE. 1251 00:39:07,646 --> 00:39:08,289 BUCKS AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING. I'LL GET YOU A COUPLE. NO KIDDING. 1252 00:39:08,313 --> 00:39:09,590 I'LL GET YOU A COUPLE. NO KIDDING. AND WHEN HE SAYS THAT, HE MEANS 1253 00:39:09,614 --> 00:39:09,857 NO KIDDING. AND WHEN HE SAYS THAT, HE MEANS IT. 1254 00:39:09,881 --> 00:39:10,891 AND WHEN HE SAYS THAT, HE MEANS IT. I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING. 1255 00:39:10,915 --> 00:39:12,126 IT. I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING. HE'S AN INDIAN, AND THEY DON'T 1256 00:39:12,150 --> 00:39:12,460 I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING. HE'S AN INDIAN, AND THEY DON'T LIE. 1257 00:39:12,484 --> 00:39:13,060 HE'S AN INDIAN, AND THEY DON'T LIE. I LOVE THAT. 1258 00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:14,662 LIE. I LOVE THAT. THANK YOU, JIMMY JOE. 1259 00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:15,763 I LOVE THAT. THANK YOU, JIMMY JOE. WE'VE REACHED THE 1260 00:39:15,787 --> 00:39:17,498 THANK YOU, JIMMY JOE. WE'VE REACHED THE AUDIENCE-PARTICIPATION PART OF 1261 00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:18,333 WE'VE REACHED THE AUDIENCE-PARTICIPATION PART OF THE PROGRAM. 1262 00:39:18,357 --> 00:39:20,000 AUDIENCE-PARTICIPATION PART OF THE PROGRAM. EVERY NIGHT AT 9:30, WE DANCE 1263 00:39:20,024 --> 00:39:21,703 THE PROGRAM. EVERY NIGHT AT 9:30, WE DANCE THE SNOWBALL, WHERE EVERYBODY 1264 00:39:21,727 --> 00:39:22,704 EVERY NIGHT AT 9:30, WE DANCE THE SNOWBALL, WHERE EVERYBODY JOINS IN. 1265 00:39:22,728 --> 00:39:24,939 THE SNOWBALL, WHERE EVERYBODY JOINS IN. SO PLAY THAT SONG, PAUL, AND LET 1266 00:39:24,963 --> 00:39:27,041 JOINS IN. SO PLAY THAT SONG, PAUL, AND LET THE SNOWBALL BEGIN. 1267 00:39:27,065 --> 00:39:29,577 SO PLAY THAT SONG, PAUL, AND LET THE SNOWBALL BEGIN. [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING] 1268 00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:31,646 THE SNOWBALL BEGIN. [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING] ♪ NOW BEGIN ♪ 1269 00:39:31,670 --> 00:39:33,113 [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING] ♪ NOW BEGIN ♪ THE FIRST COUPLE ON THE FLOOR 1270 00:39:33,137 --> 00:39:34,615 ♪ NOW BEGIN ♪ THE FIRST COUPLE ON THE FLOOR WILL ALSO GET THEIR PICTURE ON 1271 00:39:34,639 --> 00:39:35,850 THE FIRST COUPLE ON THE FLOOR WILL ALSO GET THEIR PICTURE ON THE COVER OF NEXT WEEK'S 1272 00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:37,452 WILL ALSO GET THEIR PICTURE ON THE COVER OF NEXT WEEK'S BREEZY POINT LODGE BULLETIN, SO, 1273 00:39:37,476 --> 00:39:39,520 THE COVER OF NEXT WEEK'S BREEZY POINT LODGE BULLETIN, SO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S 1274 00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:42,690 BREEZY POINT LODGE BULLETIN, SO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S DANCING TIME. 1275 00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:47,094 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S DANCING TIME. TIME TO GET UP AND DANCE. 1276 00:39:47,118 --> 00:39:48,229 DANCING TIME. TIME TO GET UP AND DANCE. WAIT A MINUTE, PAUL, FOR A 1277 00:39:48,253 --> 00:39:48,663 TIME TO GET UP AND DANCE. WAIT A MINUTE, PAUL, FOR A SECOND. 1278 00:39:48,687 --> 00:39:50,030 WAIT A MINUTE, PAUL, FOR A SECOND. WE NEVER DO THIS IN THE SNOWBALL 1279 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:51,366 SECOND. WE NEVER DO THIS IN THE SNOWBALL DANCE, BUT JUST FOR THE HECK OF 1280 00:39:51,390 --> 00:39:52,600 WE NEVER DO THIS IN THE SNOWBALL DANCE, BUT JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT, TONIGHT LET'S MAKE THIS A 1281 00:39:52,624 --> 00:39:54,168 DANCE, BUT JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT, TONIGHT LET'S MAKE THIS A LADIES' CHOICE. 1282 00:39:54,192 --> 00:39:55,470 IT, TONIGHT LET'S MAKE THIS A LADIES' CHOICE. LET'S DANCE. 1283 00:39:55,494 --> 00:39:57,972 LADIES' CHOICE. LET'S DANCE. [MUSIC CONTINUES] 1284 00:39:57,996 --> 00:39:59,006 LET'S DANCE. [MUSIC CONTINUES] I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 1285 00:39:59,030 --> 00:40:00,441 [MUSIC CONTINUES] I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE, 1286 00:40:00,465 --> 00:40:01,642 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE, HAS IT, PAUL? 1287 00:40:01,666 --> 00:40:02,910 THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE, HAS IT, PAUL? NO. 1288 00:40:02,934 --> 00:40:04,512 HAS IT, PAUL? NO. NEVER HAS. SHELLEY? 1289 00:40:04,536 --> 00:40:05,680 NO. NEVER HAS. SHELLEY? THAT'S SURPRISING, ISN'T IT? 1290 00:40:05,704 --> 00:40:06,714 NEVER HAS. SHELLEY? THAT'S SURPRISING, ISN'T IT? WELL, I THINK EVERYONE'S 1291 00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:07,982 THAT'S SURPRISING, ISN'T IT? WELL, I THINK EVERYONE'S PROBABLY A LITTLE BIT TOO TIRED 1292 00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:09,116 WELL, I THINK EVERYONE'S PROBABLY A LITTLE BIT TOO TIRED TO DANCE TONIGHT ANYWAY, SO 1293 00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:10,317 PROBABLY A LITTLE BIT TOO TIRED TO DANCE TONIGHT ANYWAY, SO LET'S ALL CALL IT A NIGHT AND 1294 00:40:10,341 --> 00:40:11,486 TO DANCE TONIGHT ANYWAY, SO LET'S ALL CALL IT A NIGHT AND GET UP EARLY, AND LET'S HOPE 1295 00:40:11,510 --> 00:40:12,553 LET'S ALL CALL IT A NIGHT AND GET UP EARLY, AND LET'S HOPE THAT THOSE RAINDROPS STOP 1296 00:40:12,577 --> 00:40:13,354 GET UP EARLY, AND LET'S HOPE THAT THOSE RAINDROPS STOP FALLING ON MY HEAD. 1297 00:40:13,378 --> 00:40:14,522 THAT THOSE RAINDROPS STOP FALLING ON MY HEAD. ["RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN' ON MY 1298 00:40:14,546 --> 00:40:15,122 FALLING ON MY HEAD. ["RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN' ON MY HEAD" PLAYS] 1299 00:40:15,146 --> 00:40:16,624 ["RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN' ON MY HEAD" PLAYS] HEY, LOOK WHO'S CLOWNING! 1300 00:40:16,648 --> 00:40:18,192 [HEAD" PLAYS] HEY, LOOK WHO'S CLOWNING! DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? PAUL! 1301 00:40:18,216 --> 00:40:19,660 HEY, LOOK WHO'S CLOWNING! DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? PAUL! HE DRIVES OVER FROM ELY, AND IF 1302 00:40:19,684 --> 00:40:21,161 DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? PAUL! HE DRIVES OVER FROM ELY, AND IF YOU THINK THE MOSQUITOS ARE BAD 1303 00:40:21,185 --> 00:40:22,597 HE DRIVES OVER FROM ELY, AND IF YOU THINK THE MOSQUITOS ARE BAD HERE, YOU SHOULD SEE THEM OVER 1304 00:40:22,621 --> 00:40:23,097 YOU THINK THE MOSQUITOS ARE BAD HERE, YOU SHOULD SEE THEM OVER IN ELY. 1305 00:40:23,121 --> 00:40:24,432 HERE, YOU SHOULD SEE THEM OVER IN ELY. THE MOSQUITOS HAVE LICENSE 1306 00:40:24,456 --> 00:40:25,666 IN ELY. THE MOSQUITOS HAVE LICENSE PLATES, AND I MEAN THAT. 1307 00:40:25,690 --> 00:40:27,368 THE MOSQUITOS HAVE LICENSE PLATES, AND I MEAN THAT. SERIOUSLY, THE DEERFLIES HAVE 1308 00:40:27,392 --> 00:40:28,002 PLATES, AND I MEAN THAT. SERIOUSLY, THE DEERFLIES HAVE ANTLERS. 1309 00:40:28,026 --> 00:40:28,969 SERIOUSLY, THE DEERFLIES HAVE ANTLERS. NOW GET OUT OF HERE. 1310 00:40:28,993 --> 00:40:29,637 ANTLERS. NOW GET OUT OF HERE. [CHUCKLES] 1311 00:40:29,661 --> 00:40:31,038 NOW GET OUT OF HERE. [CHUCKLES] BUT THIS RAIN ISN'T GONNA HOLD 1312 00:40:31,062 --> 00:40:31,873 [CHUCKLES] BUT THIS RAIN ISN'T GONNA HOLD TOO MUCH LONGER. 1313 00:40:31,897 --> 00:40:32,774 BUT THIS RAIN ISN'T GONNA HOLD TOO MUCH LONGER. I'M SURE OF THAT. 1314 00:40:32,798 --> 00:40:34,241 TOO MUCH LONGER. I'M SURE OF THAT. WELL, GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY, AND 1315 00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:35,610 I'M SURE OF THAT. WELL, GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY, AND THIS IS NICK SUMMERS SAYING A 1316 00:40:35,634 --> 00:40:36,844 WELL, GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY, AND THIS IS NICK SUMMERS SAYING A MINNEHONKA SUMMER IS A FUN 1317 00:40:36,868 --> 00:40:37,311 THIS IS NICK SUMMERS SAYING A MINNEHONKA SUMMER IS A FUN SUMMER. 1318 00:40:37,335 --> 00:40:38,646 MINNEHONKA SUMMER IS A FUN SUMMER. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR. 1319 00:40:38,670 --> 00:40:40,247 SUMMER. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR. THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR. 1320 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:42,216 THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR. THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR. I AM A FUN GUY, AND I HOPE THAT 1321 00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:43,551 THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR. I AM A FUN GUY, AND I HOPE THAT YOU HAD FUN TONIGHT. 1322 00:40:43,575 --> 00:40:45,085 I AM A FUN GUY, AND I HOPE THAT YOU HAD FUN TONIGHT. SAY, AND ONE MORE THING... I 1323 00:40:45,109 --> 00:40:46,654 YOU HAD FUN TONIGHT. SAY, AND ONE MORE THING... I WANT YOU JUST TO REMEMBER... 1324 00:40:46,678 --> 00:40:48,222 SAY, AND ONE MORE THING... I WANT YOU JUST TO REMEMBER... ♪ TO SING ♪ 1325 00:40:48,246 --> 00:40:48,989 WANT YOU JUST TO REMEMBER... ♪ TO SING ♪ THAT'S RIGHT. 1326 00:40:49,013 --> 00:40:51,325 ♪ TO SING ♪ THAT'S RIGHT. ♪ SING A SONG ♪ 1327 00:40:51,349 --> 00:40:53,895 THAT'S RIGHT. ♪ SING A SONG ♪ ♪ SING IT LOUD ♪ 1328 00:40:53,919 --> 00:40:54,762 ♪ SING A SONG ♪ ♪ SING IT LOUD ♪ ♪ SING IT SHORT ♪ 1329 00:40:54,786 --> 00:40:56,030 ♪ SING IT LOUD ♪ ♪ SING IT SHORT ♪ REMEMBER TO PUT ON SOME 6-12 1330 00:40:56,054 --> 00:40:56,864 ♪ SING IT SHORT ♪ REMEMBER TO PUT ON SOME 6-12 WHEN YOU GO OUT. 1331 00:40:56,888 --> 00:40:59,434 REMEMBER TO PUT ON SOME 6-12 WHEN YOU GO OUT. ♪ SING IT HAPPY, NOT SAD ♪ 1332 00:40:59,458 --> 00:41:00,668 WHEN YOU GO OUT. ♪ SING IT HAPPY, NOT SAD ♪ YOU KNOW, WE GOT BEARS OVER AT 1333 00:41:00,692 --> 00:41:01,436 ♪ SING IT HAPPY, NOT SAD ♪ YOU KNOW, WE GOT BEARS OVER AT THE GARBAGE DUMP. 1334 00:41:01,460 --> 00:41:02,537 YOU KNOW, WE GOT BEARS OVER AT THE GARBAGE DUMP. JUST FLASH YOUR HEADLIGHTS. 1335 00:41:02,561 --> 00:41:04,672 THE GARBAGE DUMP. JUST FLASH YOUR HEADLIGHTS. ♪ SING OF THE GOOD TIMES AND NOT 1336 00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:06,206 JUST FLASH YOUR HEADLIGHTS. ♪ SING OF THE GOOD TIMES AND NOT THE BAD ♪ 1337 00:41:06,230 --> 00:41:08,142 ♪ SING OF THE GOOD TIMES AND NOT THE BAD ♪ ♪ WELL, NO MATTER IF IT'S NOT 1338 00:41:08,166 --> 00:41:09,043 THE BAD ♪ ♪ WELL, NO MATTER IF IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH ♪ 1339 00:41:09,067 --> 00:41:11,178 ♪ WELL, NO MATTER IF IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH ♪ THIS IS MY SEVENTH SUMMER UP 1340 00:41:11,202 --> 00:41:11,846 GOOD ENOUGH ♪ THIS IS MY SEVENTH SUMMER UP HERE! 1341 00:41:11,870 --> 00:41:14,682 THIS IS MY SEVENTH SUMMER UP HERE! ♪ FOR ANYONE ELSE TO HEAR ♪ 1342 00:41:14,706 --> 00:41:17,017 HERE! ♪ FOR ANYONE ELSE TO HEAR ♪ ♪ JUST SING ♪ 1343 00:41:17,041 --> 00:41:20,488 ♪ FOR ANYONE ELSE TO HEAR ♪ ♪ JUST SING ♪ ♪ SING A SONG ♪ 1344 00:41:20,512 --> 00:41:22,122 ♪ JUST SING ♪ ♪ SING A SONG ♪ ♪ PLEASE WON'T YOU SING ME A 1345 00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:24,124 ♪ SING A SONG ♪ ♪ PLEASE WON'T YOU SING ME A SONG? ♪ 1346 00:41:24,148 --> 00:41:25,593 ♪ PLEASE WON'T YOU SING ME A SONG? ♪ THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT. 1347 00:41:25,617 --> 00:41:27,550 SONG? ♪ THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT. [APPLAUSE] 1348 00:41:45,268 --> 00:41:50,852 MEET KENNY RALSTON. LIKE MILLIONS OF AMERICANS, EVERY YEAR, LITTLE KENNY WAS 1349 00:41:50,876 --> 00:41:52,252 LIKE MILLIONS OF AMERICANS, EVERY YEAR, LITTLE KENNY WAS BORN WITHOUT A FACE. 1350 00:41:52,276 --> 00:41:54,355 EVERY YEAR, LITTLE KENNY WAS BORN WITHOUT A FACE. IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO SAVE KENNY, 1351 00:41:54,379 --> 00:41:57,124 BORN WITHOUT A FACE. IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO SAVE KENNY, BUT WE NEED YOUR HELP. 1352 00:41:57,148 --> 00:41:58,493 IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO SAVE KENNY, BUT WE NEED YOUR HELP. HELLO. I'M JOAN CRAWFORD, 1353 00:41:58,517 --> 00:41:59,460 BUT WE NEED YOUR HELP. HELLO. I'M JOAN CRAWFORD, SPEAKING FOR THE 1354 00:41:59,484 --> 00:42:01,128 HELLO. I'M JOAN CRAWFORD, SPEAKING FOR THE UNITED FACE BANK. 1355 00:42:01,152 --> 00:42:02,797 SPEAKING FOR THE UNITED FACE BANK. HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT LIFE 1356 00:42:02,821 --> 00:42:04,465 UNITED FACE BANK. HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE 1357 00:42:04,489 --> 00:42:04,999 HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE A FACE? 1358 00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:07,743 WOULD BE LIKE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE A FACE? SORT OF LIKE THIS, I SUPPOSE. 1359 00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:18,379 NOT VERY MUCH FUN, IS IT? LITTLE THINGS WE TAKE FOR GRANTED, THINGS LIKE EATING, 1360 00:42:18,403 --> 00:42:20,047 LITTLE THINGS WE TAKE FOR GRANTED, THINGS LIKE EATING, SEEING, HEARING, SMELLING, 1361 00:42:20,071 --> 00:42:22,182 GRANTED, THINGS LIKE EATING, SEEING, HEARING, SMELLING, TALKING, SINGING, LAUGHING, 1362 00:42:22,206 --> 00:42:24,351 SEEING, HEARING, SMELLING, TALKING, SINGING, LAUGHING, BREATHING... THOSE ARE ALL 1363 00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:26,053 TALKING, SINGING, LAUGHING, BREATHING... THOSE ARE ALL THINGS THE FACELESS NEVER KNOW. 1364 00:42:26,077 --> 00:42:27,688 BREATHING... THOSE ARE ALL THINGS THE FACELESS NEVER KNOW. ALL THEY KNOW IS THE WORLD OF 1365 00:42:27,712 --> 00:42:30,925 THINGS THE FACELESS NEVER KNOW. ALL THEY KNOW IS THE WORLD OF TUBES... LOTS AND LOTS OF TUBES. 1366 00:42:30,949 --> 00:42:32,560 ALL THEY KNOW IS THE WORLD OF TUBES... LOTS AND LOTS OF TUBES. HERE'S SOMEONE WHO CAN TELL US 1367 00:42:32,584 --> 00:42:34,028 TUBES... LOTS AND LOTS OF TUBES. HERE'S SOMEONE WHO CAN TELL US ABOUT THAT WORLD, SOMEONE'S 1368 00:42:34,052 --> 00:42:35,630 HERE'S SOMEONE WHO CAN TELL US ABOUT THAT WORLD, SOMEONE'S WHOSE FACE TRANSPLANT ALLOWED 1369 00:42:35,654 --> 00:42:37,331 ABOUT THAT WORLD, SOMEONE'S WHOSE FACE TRANSPLANT ALLOWED HIM TO BECOME A TOP PROFESSIONAL 1370 00:42:37,355 --> 00:42:39,066 WHOSE FACE TRANSPLANT ALLOWED HIM TO BECOME A TOP PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL STAR... ELDO JOHNSON OF 1371 00:42:39,090 --> 00:42:41,035 HIM TO BECOME A TOP PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL STAR... ELDO JOHNSON OF THE MIAMI DOLPHINS. 1372 00:42:41,059 --> 00:42:42,503 FOOTBALL STAR... ELDO JOHNSON OF THE MIAMI DOLPHINS. THANK YOU, JOAN. 1373 00:42:42,527 --> 00:42:44,539 THE MIAMI DOLPHINS. THANK YOU, JOAN. I USED TO THINK THAT I WOULD 1374 00:42:44,563 --> 00:42:46,206 THANK YOU, JOAN. I USED TO THINK THAT I WOULD NEVER HAVE A FACE, BUT 1375 00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:48,609 I USED TO THINK THAT I WOULD NEVER HAVE A FACE, BUT UNITED FACE BANK GAVE ME A NEW 1376 00:42:48,633 --> 00:42:50,678 NEVER HAVE A FACE, BUT UNITED FACE BANK GAVE ME A NEW LEASE ON LIFE, WHEN I WAS 1377 00:42:50,702 --> 00:42:53,147 UNITED FACE BANK GAVE ME A NEW LEASE ON LIFE, WHEN I WAS FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO RECEIVE ONE 1378 00:42:53,171 --> 00:42:55,115 LEASE ON LIFE, WHEN I WAS FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO RECEIVE ONE FROM AN 11-YEAR-OLD WHITE 1379 00:42:55,139 --> 00:42:58,019 FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO RECEIVE ONE FROM AN 11-YEAR-OLD WHITE GIRL... SCOUT... KILLED IN A 1380 00:42:58,043 --> 00:42:58,786 FROM AN 11-YEAR-OLD WHITE GIRL... SCOUT... KILLED IN A ROCKFALL. 1381 00:42:58,810 --> 00:43:00,254 GIRL... SCOUT... KILLED IN A ROCKFALL. ADMITTEDLY, I MIGHT HAVE 1382 00:43:00,278 --> 00:43:02,023 ROCKFALL. ADMITTEDLY, I MIGHT HAVE PREFERRED THE FACE OF A BLACK, 1383 00:43:02,047 --> 00:43:03,724 ADMITTEDLY, I MIGHT HAVE PREFERRED THE FACE OF A BLACK, ADULT MALE, BUT THEY DID THE 1384 00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:05,492 PREFERRED THE FACE OF A BLACK, ADULT MALE, BUT THEY DID THE BEST THEY COULD WITH WHAT THEY 1385 00:43:05,516 --> 00:43:06,727 ADULT MALE, BUT THEY DID THE BEST THEY COULD WITH WHAT THEY HAD. 1386 00:43:06,751 --> 00:43:08,529 BEST THEY COULD WITH WHAT THEY HAD. YES, ELDO, BUT SOMETIMES, AS 1387 00:43:08,553 --> 00:43:10,197 HAD. YES, ELDO, BUT SOMETIMES, AS IN YOUR CASE, THEIR BEST JUST 1388 00:43:10,221 --> 00:43:11,398 YES, ELDO, BUT SOMETIMES, AS IN YOUR CASE, THEIR BEST JUST WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. 1389 00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:12,900 IN YOUR CASE, THEIR BEST JUST WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. HEY, JOAN, DO YOU THINK THEY 1390 00:43:12,924 --> 00:43:14,234 WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. HEY, JOAN, DO YOU THINK THEY MIGHT HAVE A BLACK ONE NOW? 1391 00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:15,670 HEY, JOAN, DO YOU THINK THEY MIGHT HAVE A BLACK ONE NOW? I MEAN, DO YOU MIND IF I POKE 1392 00:43:15,694 --> 00:43:17,071 MIGHT HAVE A BLACK ONE NOW? I MEAN, DO YOU MIND IF I POKE AROUND IN THE FRIDGE A LITTLE 1393 00:43:17,095 --> 00:43:17,672 I MEAN, DO YOU MIND IF I POKE AROUND IN THE FRIDGE A LITTLE BIT? 1394 00:43:17,696 --> 00:43:18,539 AROUND IN THE FRIDGE A LITTLE BIT? GO RIGHT AHEAD. 1395 00:43:18,563 --> 00:43:20,675 BIT? GO RIGHT AHEAD. OKAY. 1396 00:43:20,699 --> 00:43:22,577 GO RIGHT AHEAD. OKAY. YES, ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THE 1397 00:43:22,601 --> 00:43:24,545 OKAY. YES, ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DESPAIR AND 1398 00:43:24,569 --> 00:43:25,112 YES, ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DESPAIR AND HOPE. 1399 00:43:25,136 --> 00:43:26,914 DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DESPAIR AND HOPE. ONLY YOU CAN PROVIDE THE CHANCE 1400 00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:28,049 HOPE. ONLY YOU CAN PROVIDE THE CHANCE FOR A BETTER LIFE. 1401 00:43:28,073 --> 00:43:29,750 ONLY YOU CAN PROVIDE THE CHANCE FOR A BETTER LIFE. OF COURSE, FUNDS ARE URGENTLY 1402 00:43:29,774 --> 00:43:31,452 FOR A BETTER LIFE. OF COURSE, FUNDS ARE URGENTLY NEEDED, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, 1403 00:43:31,476 --> 00:43:32,954 OF COURSE, FUNDS ARE URGENTLY NEEDED, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I'M ASKING YOU TO GIVE OF 1404 00:43:32,978 --> 00:43:33,654 NEEDED, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I'M ASKING YOU TO GIVE OF YOURSELF. 1405 00:43:33,678 --> 00:43:35,856 I'M ASKING YOU TO GIVE OF YOURSELF. HELP LITTLE KENNY PUT ON A HAPPY 1406 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:39,126 YOURSELF. HELP LITTLE KENNY PUT ON A HAPPY FACE. 1407 00:43:39,150 --> 00:43:40,661 HELP LITTLE KENNY PUT ON A HAPPY FACE. DID YOU FIND ANYTHING? 1408 00:43:40,685 --> 00:43:42,730 FACE. DID YOU FIND ANYTHING? WELL, THE CLOSEST I CAN COME 1409 00:43:42,754 --> 00:43:44,231 DID YOU FIND ANYTHING? WELL, THE CLOSEST I CAN COME UP WITH IS A FILIPINO 1410 00:43:44,255 --> 00:43:46,467 WELL, THE CLOSEST I CAN COME UP WITH IS A FILIPINO SCHOOLTEACHER HERE. 1411 00:43:46,491 --> 00:43:47,902 UP WITH IS A FILIPINO SCHOOLTEACHER HERE. THAT WON'T DO IT. 1412 00:43:47,926 --> 00:43:49,070 SCHOOLTEACHER HERE. THAT WON'T DO IT. Announcer: SUPPORT THE 1413 00:43:49,094 --> 00:43:51,454 THAT WON'T DO IT. Announcer: SUPPORT THE UNITED FACE BANK. 1414 00:43:53,964 --> 00:43:55,765 [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING] 1415 00:44:04,608 --> 00:44:09,423 A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES PLAY BALL JUST FOR THE 1416 00:44:09,447 --> 00:44:10,424 ABOUT THE FACT THAT PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES PLAY BALL JUST FOR THE MONEY THESE DAYS. 1417 00:44:10,448 --> 00:44:12,159 ATHLETES PLAY BALL JUST FOR THE MONEY THESE DAYS. WELL, GARY WEIS' FILM THIS WEEK 1418 00:44:12,183 --> 00:44:13,894 MONEY THESE DAYS. WELL, GARY WEIS' FILM THIS WEEK SHOWS THAT COMPETITION CAN BRING 1419 00:44:13,918 --> 00:44:15,295 WELL, GARY WEIS' FILM THIS WEEK SHOWS THAT COMPETITION CAN BRING OUT THE VERY BEST IN US. 1420 00:44:15,319 --> 00:44:16,731 SHOWS THAT COMPETITION CAN BRING OUT THE VERY BEST IN US. AND NOW, THIS WEEK'S FILM BY 1421 00:44:16,755 --> 00:44:19,967 OUT THE VERY BEST IN US. AND NOW, THIS WEEK'S FILM BY GARY WEIS. 1422 00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:26,907 AND NOW, THIS WEEK'S FILM BY GARY WEIS. ♪ OH, BEAUTIFUL FOR SPACIOUS 1423 00:44:26,931 --> 00:44:31,012 GARY WEIS. ♪ OH, BEAUTIFUL FOR SPACIOUS SKIES ♪ 1424 00:44:31,036 --> 00:44:39,036 ♪ OH, BEAUTIFUL FOR SPACIOUS SKIES ♪ ♪ FOR AMBER WAVES OF GRAIN ♪ 1425 00:44:39,577 --> 00:44:44,725 SKIES ♪ ♪ FOR AMBER WAVES OF GRAIN ♪ ♪ FOR PURPLE MOUNTAIN 1426 00:44:44,749 --> 00:44:48,462 ♪ FOR AMBER WAVES OF GRAIN ♪ ♪ FOR PURPLE MOUNTAIN MAJESTIES ♪ 1427 00:44:48,486 --> 00:44:54,168 ♪ FOR PURPLE MOUNTAIN MAJESTIES ♪ ♪ ABOVE THE FRUITED PLAIN ♪ 1428 00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:56,436 MAJESTIES ♪ ♪ ABOVE THE FRUITED PLAIN ♪ WELL, NOW WAIT A MINUTE! 1429 00:44:56,460 --> 00:44:58,806 ♪ ABOVE THE FRUITED PLAIN ♪ WELL, NOW WAIT A MINUTE! I'M TALKING ABOUT... 1430 00:44:58,830 --> 00:45:01,241 WELL, NOW WAIT A MINUTE! I'M TALKING ABOUT... ♪ AMERICA ♪ 1431 00:45:01,265 --> 00:45:06,947 I'M TALKING ABOUT... ♪ AMERICA ♪ ♪ SWEET AMERICA ♪ 1432 00:45:06,971 --> 00:45:09,984 ♪ AMERICA ♪ ♪ SWEET AMERICA ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW, GOD DONE SHED HIS 1433 00:45:10,008 --> 00:45:13,387 ♪ SWEET AMERICA ♪ ♪ YOU KNOW, GOD DONE SHED HIS GRACE ON THEE ♪ 1434 00:45:13,411 --> 00:45:18,059 ♪ YOU KNOW, GOD DONE SHED HIS GRACE ON THEE ♪ ♪ HE CROWN THY GOOD ♪ 1435 00:45:18,083 --> 00:45:20,494 GRACE ON THEE ♪ ♪ HE CROWN THY GOOD ♪ ♪ YES, HE DID ♪ 1436 00:45:20,518 --> 00:45:23,297 ♪ HE CROWN THY GOOD ♪ ♪ YES, HE DID ♪ ♪ WITH BROTHERHOOD ♪ 1437 00:45:23,321 --> 00:45:29,503 ♪ YES, HE DID ♪ ♪ WITH BROTHERHOOD ♪ ♪ FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA ♪ 1438 00:45:29,527 --> 00:45:31,438 ♪ WITH BROTHERHOOD ♪ ♪ FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA ♪ YOU KNOW, I WISH I HAD SOMEBODY 1439 00:45:31,462 --> 00:45:33,207 ♪ FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA ♪ YOU KNOW, I WISH I HAD SOMEBODY TO HELP ME SING THIS. 1440 00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:36,151 YOU KNOW, I WISH I HAD SOMEBODY TO HELP ME SING THIS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1441 00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:54,328 AND NOW, ONCE AGAIN, THE McGARRIGLE SISTERS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1442 00:45:54,352 --> 00:46:01,535 McGARRIGLE SISTERS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ["HEART LIKE A WHEEL" PLAYING] 1443 00:46:01,559 --> 00:46:05,572 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ["HEART LIKE A WHEEL" PLAYING] ♪ SOME SAY A HEART IS JUST 1444 00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:07,108 ["HEART LIKE A WHEEL" PLAYING] ♪ SOME SAY A HEART IS JUST LIKE A WHEEL ♪ 1445 00:46:07,132 --> 00:46:10,477 ♪ SOME SAY A HEART IS JUST LIKE A WHEEL ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU BEND IT, YOU CAN'T 1446 00:46:10,501 --> 00:46:12,679 LIKE A WHEEL ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU BEND IT, YOU CAN'T MEND IT ♪ 1447 00:46:12,703 --> 00:46:16,784 ♪ WHEN YOU BEND IT, YOU CAN'T MEND IT ♪ ♪ AND MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A 1448 00:46:16,808 --> 00:46:19,086 MEND IT ♪ ♪ AND MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A SINKING SHIP ♪ 1449 00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:21,822 ♪ AND MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A SINKING SHIP ♪ ♪ AND MY HEART IS ON THAT SHIP 1450 00:46:21,846 --> 00:46:27,261 SINKING SHIP ♪ ♪ AND MY HEART IS ON THAT SHIP OUT IN MID-OCEAN ♪ 1451 00:46:27,285 --> 00:46:31,031 ♪ AND MY HEART IS ON THAT SHIP OUT IN MID-OCEAN ♪ ♪ THEY SAY THAT DEATH IS A 1452 00:46:31,055 --> 00:46:33,333 OUT IN MID-OCEAN ♪ ♪ THEY SAY THAT DEATH IS A TRAGEDY ♪ 1453 00:46:33,357 --> 00:46:39,140 ♪ THEY SAY THAT DEATH IS A TRAGEDY ♪ ♪ IT COMES ONCE AND IT'S OVER ♪ 1454 00:46:39,164 --> 00:46:43,277 TRAGEDY ♪ ♪ IT COMES ONCE AND IT'S OVER ♪ ♪ BUT MY ONLY WISH IS FOR THAT 1455 00:46:43,301 --> 00:46:45,813 ♪ IT COMES ONCE AND IT'S OVER ♪ ♪ BUT MY ONLY WISH IS FOR THAT DEEP DARK ABYSS ♪ 1456 00:46:45,837 --> 00:46:47,681 ♪ BUT MY ONLY WISH IS FOR THAT DEEP DARK ABYSS ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WHAT'S THE USE OF 1457 00:46:47,705 --> 00:46:51,540 DEEP DARK ABYSS ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WHAT'S THE USE OF LIVING WITH NO TRUE LOVER? ♪ 1458 00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:07,316 ♪ WHEN HARM'S DONE, NO LOVE CAN BE WON ♪ ♪ I KNOW IT HAPPENS FREQUENTLY ♪ 1459 00:47:10,361 --> 00:47:12,639 CAN BE WON ♪ ♪ I KNOW IT HAPPENS FREQUENTLY ♪ Both: ♪ WHAT I CAN'T 1460 00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:14,508 ♪ I KNOW IT HAPPENS FREQUENTLY ♪ Both: ♪ WHAT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND ♪ 1461 00:47:14,532 --> 00:47:16,811 Both: ♪ WHAT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND ♪ ♪ OH, PLEASE, GOD, HOLD MY 1462 00:47:16,835 --> 00:47:17,945 UNDERSTAND ♪ ♪ OH, PLEASE, GOD, HOLD MY HAND ♪ 1463 00:47:17,969 --> 00:47:20,614 ♪ OH, PLEASE, GOD, HOLD MY HAND ♪ ♪ WHY IT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED 1464 00:47:20,638 --> 00:47:24,618 HAND ♪ ♪ WHY IT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ME ♪ 1465 00:47:24,642 --> 00:47:28,689 ♪ WHY IT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ME ♪ Both: ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ 1466 00:47:28,713 --> 00:47:32,960 TO ME ♪ Both: ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ 1467 00:47:32,984 --> 00:47:36,163 Both: ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ THAT CAN WRECK A HUMAN BEING ♪ 1468 00:47:36,187 --> 00:47:40,167 ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ THAT CAN WRECK A HUMAN BEING ♪ ♪ AND TURN HIM INSIDE OUT ♪ 1469 00:47:40,191 --> 00:47:42,636 ♪ THAT CAN WRECK A HUMAN BEING ♪ ♪ AND TURN HIM INSIDE OUT ♪ ♪ THAT CAN WRECK A HUMAN BEING 1470 00:47:42,660 --> 00:47:48,542 ♪ AND TURN HIM INSIDE OUT ♪ ♪ THAT CAN WRECK A HUMAN BEING AND TURN HIM INSIDE OUT ♪ 1471 00:47:48,566 --> 00:47:53,547 ♪ THAT CAN WRECK A HUMAN BEING AND TURN HIM INSIDE OUT ♪ ♪ SOME SAY A HEART IS JUST LIKE 1472 00:47:53,571 --> 00:47:54,548 AND TURN HIM INSIDE OUT ♪ ♪ SOME SAY A HEART IS JUST LIKE A WHEEL ♪ 1473 00:47:54,572 --> 00:47:58,152 ♪ SOME SAY A HEART IS JUST LIKE A WHEEL ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU BEND IT, YOU CAN'T 1474 00:47:58,176 --> 00:48:00,387 A WHEEL ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU BEND IT, YOU CAN'T MEND IT ♪ 1475 00:48:00,411 --> 00:48:04,524 ♪ WHEN YOU BEND IT, YOU CAN'T MEND IT ♪ ♪ AND MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A 1476 00:48:04,548 --> 00:48:06,827 MEND IT ♪ ♪ AND MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A SINKING SHIP ♪ 1477 00:48:06,851 --> 00:48:09,096 ♪ AND MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A SINKING SHIP ♪ ♪ AND MY HEART IS ON THAT 1478 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,967 SINKING SHIP ♪ ♪ AND MY HEART IS ON THAT SHIP OUT IN MID-OCEAN ♪ 1479 00:48:12,991 --> 00:48:16,737 ♪ AND MY HEART IS ON THAT SHIP OUT IN MID-OCEAN ♪ Both: ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ 1480 00:48:16,761 --> 00:48:19,874 SHIP OUT IN MID-OCEAN ♪ Both: ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ 1481 00:48:19,898 --> 00:48:22,676 Both: ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ 1482 00:48:22,700 --> 00:48:26,580 ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ 1483 00:48:26,604 --> 00:48:29,416 ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ ONLY LOVE ♪ 1484 00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:32,519 ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ 1485 00:48:32,543 --> 00:48:35,489 ♪ ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ 1486 00:48:35,513 --> 00:48:40,827 ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ 1487 00:48:40,851 --> 00:48:43,451 ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ ♪ AND IT'S ONLY LOVE ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1488 00:49:02,172 --> 00:49:05,719 YOU JIVING ME, SUCKER? THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA SEE ANY MONEY FROM YOU NOW. 1489 00:49:05,743 --> 00:49:07,187 THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA SEE ANY MONEY FROM YOU NOW. THIS IS SATURDAY NIGHT, AND ALL 1490 00:49:07,211 --> 00:49:08,222 MONEY FROM YOU NOW. THIS IS SATURDAY NIGHT, AND ALL THE BANKS ARE CLOSED. 1491 00:49:08,246 --> 00:49:08,956 THIS IS SATURDAY NIGHT, AND ALL THE BANKS ARE CLOSED. EASY, MAN. 1492 00:49:08,980 --> 00:49:09,823 THE BANKS ARE CLOSED. EASY, MAN. I'M GOOD FOR IT. 1493 00:49:09,847 --> 00:49:11,125 EASY, MAN. I'M GOOD FOR IT. DON'T PRESS ME. 1494 00:49:11,149 --> 00:49:12,826 I'M GOOD FOR IT. DON'T PRESS ME. I GOT A 24-HOUR BANK CARD RIGHT 1495 00:49:12,850 --> 00:49:13,294 DON'T PRESS ME. I GOT A 24-HOUR BANK CARD RIGHT HERE. 1496 00:49:13,318 --> 00:49:14,828 I GOT A 24-HOUR BANK CARD RIGHT HERE. IT'S GOOD FOR CASH ANYTIME. 1497 00:49:14,852 --> 00:49:16,397 HERE. IT'S GOOD FOR CASH ANYTIME. YEAH, WELL, IT BETTER WORK, 1498 00:49:16,421 --> 00:49:17,998 IT'S GOOD FOR CASH ANYTIME. YEAH, WELL, IT BETTER WORK, 'CAUSE IF I DON'T COLLECT FROM 1499 00:49:18,022 --> 00:49:19,566 YEAH, WELL, IT BETTER WORK, 'CAUSE IF I DON'T COLLECT FROM YOU TONIGHT, IT'LL BE BAD NEWS 1500 00:49:19,590 --> 00:49:20,534 'CAUSE IF I DON'T COLLECT FROM YOU TONIGHT, IT'LL BE BAD NEWS FOR YOU, SUCKER. 1501 00:49:20,558 --> 00:49:21,568 YOU TONIGHT, IT'LL BE BAD NEWS FOR YOU, SUCKER. LIGHTEN UP, MAN. 1502 00:49:21,592 --> 00:49:22,769 FOR YOU, SUCKER. LIGHTEN UP, MAN. YOU'LL GET YOUR BREAD. 1503 00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:24,338 LIGHTEN UP, MAN. YOU'LL GET YOUR BREAD. I USE THIS SYSTEM ALL THE TIME. 1504 00:49:24,362 --> 00:49:25,172 YOU'LL GET YOUR BREAD. I USE THIS SYSTEM ALL THE TIME. I'LL SHOW YOU. 1505 00:49:25,196 --> 00:49:28,642 I USE THIS SYSTEM ALL THE TIME. I'LL SHOW YOU. I PUT THE CARD RIGHT IN HERE. 1506 00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:29,944 I'LL SHOW YOU. I PUT THE CARD RIGHT IN HERE. NOW I PUSH THE AMOUNT OF MONEY I 1507 00:49:29,968 --> 00:49:32,279 I PUT THE CARD RIGHT IN HERE. NOW I PUSH THE AMOUNT OF MONEY I OWE YOU... 200 BUCKS. 1508 00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:33,247 NOW I PUSH THE AMOUNT OF MONEY I OWE YOU... 200 BUCKS. [MACHINE BEEPING] 1509 00:49:33,271 --> 00:49:35,916 OWE YOU... 200 BUCKS. [MACHINE BEEPING] PLUS EIGHT WEEKS' INTEREST. 1510 00:49:35,940 --> 00:49:36,883 [MACHINE BEEPING] PLUS EIGHT WEEKS' INTEREST. 400 BUCKS. 1511 00:49:36,907 --> 00:49:38,152 PLUS EIGHT WEEKS' INTEREST. 400 BUCKS. [MACHINE BEEPING] 1512 00:49:38,176 --> 00:49:40,220 400 BUCKS. [MACHINE BEEPING] AND I PUNCH MY CODE NUMBER. 1513 00:49:40,244 --> 00:49:42,389 [MACHINE BEEPING] AND I PUNCH MY CODE NUMBER. [MACHINE BEEPING] 1514 00:49:42,413 --> 00:49:43,890 AND I PUNCH MY CODE NUMBER. [MACHINE BEEPING] AND THEN THE MONEY COMES RIGHT 1515 00:49:43,914 --> 00:49:45,059 [MACHINE BEEPING] AND THEN THE MONEY COMES RIGHT OUT HERE, THE LITTLE SLOT. 1516 00:49:45,083 --> 00:49:46,526 AND THEN THE MONEY COMES RIGHT OUT HERE, THE LITTLE SLOT. YEAH. 1517 00:49:46,550 --> 00:49:48,128 OUT HERE, THE LITTLE SLOT. YEAH. WELL, IT USUALLY COMES RIGHT 1518 00:49:48,152 --> 00:49:49,296 YEAH. WELL, IT USUALLY COMES RIGHT OUT HERE. 1519 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,431 WELL, IT USUALLY COMES RIGHT OUT HERE. WELL, I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 1520 00:49:50,455 --> 00:49:51,531 OUT HERE. WELL, I DON'T KNOW, MAN. THERE MUST BE A PROBLEM. 1521 00:49:51,555 --> 00:49:52,699 WELL, I DON'T KNOW, MAN. THERE MUST BE A PROBLEM. HEY, WHAT'S THIS, MAN? 1522 00:49:52,723 --> 00:49:53,367 THERE MUST BE A PROBLEM. HEY, WHAT'S THIS, MAN? WHAT'S THIS? 1523 00:49:53,391 --> 00:49:55,002 HEY, WHAT'S THIS, MAN? WHAT'S THIS? "FURTHER INFO NEEDED," MAN. 1524 00:49:55,026 --> 00:49:55,369 WHAT'S THIS? "FURTHER INFO NEEDED," MAN. WHAT'S... 1525 00:49:55,393 --> 00:49:56,570 "FURTHER INFO NEEDED," MAN. WHAT'S... I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. 1526 00:49:56,594 --> 00:49:57,671 WHAT'S... I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. I SWEAR TO YOU I'M NOT LYING. 1527 00:49:57,695 --> 00:49:58,872 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. I SWEAR TO YOU I'M NOT LYING. I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE A RIP-OFF. 1528 00:49:58,896 --> 00:50:00,274 I SWEAR TO YOU I'M NOT LYING. I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE A RIP-OFF. I'VE NEVER PULLED THIS BEFORE. 1529 00:50:00,298 --> 00:50:02,109 I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE A RIP-OFF. I'VE NEVER PULLED THIS BEFORE. LOOK "TO OBTAIN CASH COMPLETE 1530 00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:02,909 I'VE NEVER PULLED THIS BEFORE. LOOK "TO OBTAIN CASH COMPLETE SECURITY TEST." 1531 00:50:02,933 --> 00:50:03,577 LOOK "TO OBTAIN CASH COMPLETE SECURITY TEST." WHAT'S... 1532 00:50:03,601 --> 00:50:04,445 SECURITY TEST." WHAT'S... I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 1533 00:50:04,469 --> 00:50:05,079 WHAT'S... I DON'T KNOW, MAN. THIS IS A BANK. 1534 00:50:05,103 --> 00:50:05,812 I DON'T KNOW, MAN. THIS IS A BANK. THEY'RE SO WEIRD. 1535 00:50:05,836 --> 00:50:06,913 THIS IS A BANK. THEY'RE SO WEIRD. THEY'RE TAKING OVER THE WHOLE 1536 00:50:06,937 --> 00:50:07,348 THEY'RE SO WEIRD. THEY'RE TAKING OVER THE WHOLE COUNTRY. 1537 00:50:07,372 --> 00:50:09,816 THEY'RE TAKING OVER THE WHOLE COUNTRY. "I.Q. QUIZ... CHOOSE "A," 1538 00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,118 COUNTRY. "I.Q. QUIZ... CHOOSE "A," "B," OR "C." 1539 00:50:11,142 --> 00:50:12,919 "I.Q. QUIZ... CHOOSE "A," "B," OR "C." WHAT? 1540 00:50:12,943 --> 00:50:14,688 "B," OR "C." WHAT? "WHERE IS THE CRADLE OF..." 1541 00:50:14,712 --> 00:50:16,756 WHAT? "WHERE IS THE CRADLE OF..." "WYOMING," "SATURN"... 1542 00:50:16,780 --> 00:50:18,292 "WHERE IS THE CRADLE OF..." "WYOMING," "SATURN"... UH, PUNCH "C," "MESOPOTAMIA." 1543 00:50:18,316 --> 00:50:19,493 "WYOMING," "SATURN"... UH, PUNCH "C," "MESOPOTAMIA." ARE YOU SURE, MAN? 1544 00:50:19,517 --> 00:50:20,294 UH, PUNCH "C," "MESOPOTAMIA." ARE YOU SURE, MAN? PUNCH "C." 1545 00:50:20,318 --> 00:50:21,761 ARE YOU SURE, MAN? PUNCH "C." LOOK, MAN, MESOPOTAMIA, THE 1546 00:50:21,785 --> 00:50:23,297 PUNCH "C." LOOK, MAN, MESOPOTAMIA, THE VALLEY OF THE TIGRIS AND THE 1547 00:50:23,321 --> 00:50:24,931 LOOK, MAN, MESOPOTAMIA, THE VALLEY OF THE TIGRIS AND THE EUPHRATES RIVER IN AFRICA, MAN. 1548 00:50:24,955 --> 00:50:27,167 VALLEY OF THE TIGRIS AND THE EUPHRATES RIVER IN AFRICA, MAN. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 1549 00:50:27,191 --> 00:50:28,068 EUPHRATES RIVER IN AFRICA, MAN. RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. LOOK AT THIS. SEE? 1550 00:50:28,092 --> 00:50:29,736 RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. LOOK AT THIS. SEE? ALL RIGHT. WE WIN. WE WIN. 1551 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:31,138 LOOK AT THIS. SEE? ALL RIGHT. WE WIN. WE WIN. "A TRIANGLE WITH EQUAL SIDES 1552 00:50:31,162 --> 00:50:31,838 ALL RIGHT. WE WIN. WE WIN. "A TRIANGLE WITH EQUAL SIDES IS CALLED..." 1553 00:50:31,862 --> 00:50:33,140 "A TRIANGLE WITH EQUAL SIDES IS CALLED..." I USED TO KNOW THIS, MAN. 1554 00:50:33,164 --> 00:50:34,774 IS CALLED..." I USED TO KNOW THIS, MAN. UH, "EQUILATERAL." 1555 00:50:34,798 --> 00:50:37,011 I USED TO KNOW THIS, MAN. UH, "EQUILATERAL." PUNCH "B." PUNCH "B." 1556 00:50:37,035 --> 00:50:37,878 UH, "EQUILATERAL." PUNCH "B." PUNCH "B." OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 1557 00:50:37,902 --> 00:50:38,845 PUNCH "B." PUNCH "B." OKAY, ALL RIGHT. WE'RE HOT. WE'RE HOT. 1558 00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:40,114 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. WE'RE HOT. WE'RE HOT. LITTLE BIT OF SKIN ON THE PINK 1559 00:50:40,138 --> 00:50:40,747 WE'RE HOT. WE'RE HOT. LITTLE BIT OF SKIN ON THE PINK SIDE, PRINCE. 1560 00:50:40,771 --> 00:50:41,448 LITTLE BIT OF SKIN ON THE PINK SIDE, PRINCE. LET'S GO. HEY. 1561 00:50:41,472 --> 00:50:43,183 SIDE, PRINCE. LET'S GO. HEY. OH, SPORTS! 1562 00:50:43,207 --> 00:50:44,351 LET'S GO. HEY. OH, SPORTS! UH, DR. J. HEY! 1563 00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:44,885 OH, SPORTS! UH, DR. J. HEY! DR. J, DR. J. 1564 00:50:44,909 --> 00:50:45,419 UH, DR. J. HEY! DR. J, DR. J. [WHISTLES] 1565 00:50:45,443 --> 00:50:46,253 DR. J, DR. J. [WHISTLES] YEAH, NO KIDDING. 1566 00:50:46,277 --> 00:50:47,221 [WHISTLES] YEAH, NO KIDDING. NOW, WHERE IS MY CASH? 1567 00:50:47,245 --> 00:50:48,288 YEAH, NO KIDDING. NOW, WHERE IS MY CASH? ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 1568 00:50:48,312 --> 00:50:49,423 NOW, WHERE IS MY CASH? ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. WHERE'S THE CASH? LET'S GO. 1569 00:50:49,447 --> 00:50:50,290 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. WHERE'S THE CASH? LET'S GO. WHERE'S MY CASH? 1570 00:50:50,314 --> 00:50:51,325 WHERE'S THE CASH? LET'S GO. WHERE'S MY CASH? CASH IS COMING. 1571 00:50:51,349 --> 00:50:52,559 WHERE'S MY CASH? CASH IS COMING. HEY, "CONGRATULATIONS. 1572 00:50:52,583 --> 00:50:54,061 CASH IS COMING. HEY, "CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE ANSWERED CORRECTLY. 1573 00:50:54,085 --> 00:50:55,729 HEY, "CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE ANSWERED CORRECTLY. YOU NOW QUALIFY FOR THE OPTIONAL 1574 00:50:55,753 --> 00:50:56,563 YOU HAVE ANSWERED CORRECTLY. YOU NOW QUALIFY FOR THE OPTIONAL GENIUS TEST." 1575 00:50:56,587 --> 00:50:57,564 YOU NOW QUALIFY FOR THE OPTIONAL GENIUS TEST." GREAT. GREAT. GREAT. 1576 00:50:57,588 --> 00:50:59,133 GENIUS TEST." GREAT. GREAT. GREAT. A DRIVING TEST. 1577 00:50:59,157 --> 00:50:59,833 GREAT. GREAT. GREAT. A DRIVING TEST. WAIT A MINUTE. 1578 00:50:59,857 --> 00:51:01,135 A DRIVING TEST. WAIT A MINUTE. I'M NOT PREPARED FOR A DRIVING 1579 00:51:01,159 --> 00:51:01,502 WAIT A MINUTE. I'M NOT PREPARED FOR A DRIVING TEST. 1580 00:51:01,526 --> 00:51:02,202 I'M NOT PREPARED FOR A DRIVING TEST. WAIT A MINUTE. 1581 00:51:02,226 --> 00:51:02,736 TEST. WAIT A MINUTE. WHOA! 1582 00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:03,670 WAIT A MINUTE. WHOA! THERE'S NO WHEEL. 1583 00:51:03,694 --> 00:51:04,738 WHOA! THERE'S NO WHEEL. [CAR ENGINE HUMMING] 1584 00:51:04,762 --> 00:51:06,973 THERE'S NO WHEEL. [CAR ENGINE HUMMING] OH! HEY! 1585 00:51:06,997 --> 00:51:07,807 [CAR ENGINE HUMMING] OH! HEY! OH, THIS IS RIGHT. 1586 00:51:07,831 --> 00:51:09,109 OH! HEY! OH, THIS IS RIGHT. COME ON. COME ON. COME ON. 1587 00:51:09,133 --> 00:51:10,844 OH, THIS IS RIGHT. COME ON. COME ON. COME ON. AAH! AAH! AAH! 1588 00:51:10,868 --> 00:51:14,515 COME ON. COME ON. COME ON. AAH! AAH! AAH! I'M TRYING. I'M TRYING. 1589 00:51:14,539 --> 00:51:15,782 AAH! AAH! AAH! I'M TRYING. I'M TRYING. WELL, THAT HURTS A LITTLE BIT, 1590 00:51:15,806 --> 00:51:16,750 I'M TRYING. I'M TRYING. WELL, THAT HURTS A LITTLE BIT, MAN. 1591 00:51:16,774 --> 00:51:18,218 WELL, THAT HURTS A LITTLE BIT, MAN. I'M SORRY. 1592 00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:20,087 MAN. I'M SORRY. OKAY, "TESTS COMPLETED. 1593 00:51:20,111 --> 00:51:22,489 I'M SORRY. OKAY, "TESTS COMPLETED. WITHDRAW MONEY FROM DISPENSER." 1594 00:51:22,513 --> 00:51:23,990 OKAY, "TESTS COMPLETED. WITHDRAW MONEY FROM DISPENSER." OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 1595 00:51:24,014 --> 00:51:24,791 WITHDRAW MONEY FROM DISPENSER." OKAY. ALL RIGHT. SIX... LET'S GO. 1596 00:51:24,815 --> 00:51:25,459 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. SIX... LET'S GO. [WHISTLES] 1597 00:51:25,483 --> 00:51:26,893 SIX... LET'S GO. [WHISTLES] WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT. 1598 00:51:26,917 --> 00:51:29,063 [WHISTLES] WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT. "DATA SOURCE"... WHAT'S THIS? 1599 00:51:29,087 --> 00:51:30,397 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT. "DATA SOURCE"... WHAT'S THIS? "CURRENCY EXCHANGE." 1600 00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:31,231 "DATA SOURCE"... WHAT'S THIS? "CURRENCY EXCHANGE." "BULLETIN." 1601 00:51:31,255 --> 00:51:32,933 "CURRENCY EXCHANGE." "BULLETIN." "URGENT BULLETIN." 1602 00:51:32,957 --> 00:51:34,568 "BULLETIN." "URGENT BULLETIN." "AS OF APRIL 1997, TREASURY 1603 00:51:34,592 --> 00:51:36,002 "URGENT BULLETIN." "AS OF APRIL 1997, TREASURY ACKNOWLEDGED LEGAL TENDER 1604 00:51:36,026 --> 00:51:37,604 "AS OF APRIL 1997, TREASURY ACKNOWLEDGED LEGAL TENDER CHANGED FROM EXISTING FEDERAL 1605 00:51:37,628 --> 00:51:39,005 ACKNOWLEDGED LEGAL TENDER CHANGED FROM EXISTING FEDERAL RESERVE PAPER CURRENCY TO 1606 00:51:39,029 --> 00:51:41,507 CHANGED FROM EXISTING FEDERAL RESERVE PAPER CURRENCY TO HEADCHEESE"? 1607 00:51:41,531 --> 00:51:42,675 "EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY..." 1608 00:51:42,699 --> 00:51:44,300 "HEADCHEESE TO REPLACE THE 1609 00:51:44,434 --> 00:51:45,701 FEDERAL RESERVE NOTES"? 1610 00:51:45,835 --> 00:51:48,170 MAN, I CAN'T STAND HEADCHEESE! 1611 00:51:48,305 --> 00:51:49,538 YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN THAT STUFF? 1612 00:51:49,672 --> 00:51:50,706 I THINK IT'S BRAINS OR 1613 00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:51,273 SOMETHING. 1614 00:51:51,408 --> 00:51:52,408 "HEADCHEESE STANDARD NOW 1615 00:51:52,442 --> 00:51:53,442 EFFECTIVE." 1616 00:51:53,510 --> 00:51:57,524 OH! WELL, HERE IT COMES. OH, NO! 1617 00:51:57,548 --> 00:51:58,525 WELL, HERE IT COMES. OH, NO! I'M SORRY, MAN. 1618 00:51:58,549 --> 00:51:59,659 OH, NO! I'M SORRY, MAN. DON'T GET DOWN ON ME. 1619 00:51:59,683 --> 00:52:00,860 I'M SORRY, MAN. DON'T GET DOWN ON ME. THIS IS THE GOVERNMENT. 1620 00:52:00,884 --> 00:52:01,861 DON'T GET DOWN ON ME. THIS IS THE GOVERNMENT. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. 1621 00:52:01,885 --> 00:52:04,431 THIS IS THE GOVERNMENT. IT'S NOT MY FAULT. THIS IS THE ECONOMY. 1622 00:52:04,455 --> 00:52:05,165 IT'S NOT MY FAULT. THIS IS THE ECONOMY. SORRY. 1623 00:52:05,189 --> 00:52:06,400 THIS IS THE ECONOMY. SORRY. YOU ASKED ME. 1624 00:52:06,424 --> 00:52:08,357 SORRY. YOU ASKED ME. $400, MAN. $400. 1625 00:52:23,906 --> 00:52:27,154 [BELLS RING] SHELLY, THIS IS IT? OH, ISN'T IT LOVELY? 1626 00:52:27,178 --> 00:52:28,522 SHELLY, THIS IS IT? OH, ISN'T IT LOVELY? DOESN'T LOOK VERY BUSY. 1627 00:52:28,546 --> 00:52:29,990 OH, ISN'T IT LOVELY? DOESN'T LOOK VERY BUSY. WELL, I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT 1628 00:52:30,014 --> 00:52:31,758 DOESN'T LOOK VERY BUSY. WELL, I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT MAYBE PEOPLE ARE... IT'S NOT 1629 00:52:31,782 --> 00:52:33,527 WELL, I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT MAYBE PEOPLE ARE... IT'S NOT CLOSED, IS IT? 1630 00:52:33,551 --> 00:52:34,694 MAYBE PEOPLE ARE... IT'S NOT CLOSED, IS IT? MAYBE WE OUGHT TO JUST SIT 1631 00:52:34,718 --> 00:52:36,130 CLOSED, IS IT? MAYBE WE OUGHT TO JUST SIT DOWN, YEAH. 1632 00:52:36,154 --> 00:52:37,297 MAYBE WE OUGHT TO JUST SIT DOWN, YEAH. IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYONE'S 1633 00:52:37,321 --> 00:52:37,664 DOWN, YEAH. IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYONE'S HERE. 1634 00:52:37,688 --> 00:52:38,999 IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYONE'S HERE. LOOK... CHOPSTICKS. 1635 00:52:39,023 --> 00:52:41,968 HERE. LOOK... CHOPSTICKS. CHOPSTICKS. 1636 00:52:41,992 --> 00:52:44,138 LOOK... CHOPSTICKS. CHOPSTICKS. WELCOME TO THE NATURAL CAUSES 1637 00:52:44,162 --> 00:52:45,071 CHOPSTICKS. WELCOME TO THE NATURAL CAUSES RESTAURANT. 1638 00:52:45,095 --> 00:52:47,073 WELCOME TO THE NATURAL CAUSES RESTAURANT. I'M JASON, AND THIS IS MY OLD 1639 00:52:47,097 --> 00:52:49,109 RESTAURANT. I'M JASON, AND THIS IS MY OLD LADY, SUNSET. 1640 00:52:49,133 --> 00:52:51,211 I'M JASON, AND THIS IS MY OLD LADY, SUNSET. SHE'S REALLY FAR OUT. 1641 00:52:51,235 --> 00:52:53,313 LADY, SUNSET. SHE'S REALLY FAR OUT. WELCOME TO OUR SPACE. 1642 00:52:53,337 --> 00:52:55,482 SHE'S REALLY FAR OUT. WELCOME TO OUR SPACE. IT IS NO ACCIDENT THAT YOU HAVE 1643 00:52:55,506 --> 00:52:57,184 WELCOME TO OUR SPACE. IT IS NO ACCIDENT THAT YOU HAVE STUMBLED UPON OUR DOOR. 1644 00:52:57,208 --> 00:52:58,051 IT IS NO ACCIDENT THAT YOU HAVE STUMBLED UPON OUR DOOR. [CHUCKLES] 1645 00:52:58,075 --> 00:53:00,086 STUMBLED UPON OUR DOOR. [CHUCKLES] HI, WE'RE SHELLY AND 1646 00:53:00,110 --> 00:53:01,155 [CHUCKLES] HI, WE'RE SHELLY AND ELAINE MELCHER. 1647 00:53:01,179 --> 00:53:03,056 HI, WE'RE SHELLY AND ELAINE MELCHER. WE READ ABOUT THE NATURAL CAUSE 1648 00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:04,525 ELAINE MELCHER. WE READ ABOUT THE NATURAL CAUSE RESTAURANT IN NEW WEST 1649 00:53:04,549 --> 00:53:06,160 WE READ ABOUT THE NATURAL CAUSE RESTAURANT IN NEW WEST MAGAZINE... YOU KNOW, THAT 1650 00:53:06,184 --> 00:53:08,128 RESTAURANT IN NEW WEST MAGAZINE... YOU KNOW, THAT ARTICLE, "BEYOND VEGETARIANISM." 1651 00:53:08,152 --> 00:53:09,196 MAGAZINE... YOU KNOW, THAT ARTICLE, "BEYOND VEGETARIANISM." THAT WAS A FAR-OUR ARTICLE. 1652 00:53:09,220 --> 00:53:10,330 ARTICLE, "BEYOND VEGETARIANISM." THAT WAS A FAR-OUR ARTICLE. IT'S REALLY BROUGHT US A LOT OF 1653 00:53:10,354 --> 00:53:10,764 THAT WAS A FAR-OUR ARTICLE. IT'S REALLY BROUGHT US A LOT OF BUSINESS. 1654 00:53:10,788 --> 00:53:11,798 IT'S REALLY BROUGHT US A LOT OF BUSINESS. THAT WAS REALLY A GOOD THING. 1655 00:53:11,822 --> 00:53:14,268 BUSINESS. THAT WAS REALLY A GOOD THING. IS IT OKAY THAT WE SIT HERE? 1656 00:53:14,292 --> 00:53:16,203 THAT WAS REALLY A GOOD THING. IS IT OKAY THAT WE SIT HERE? UH, WHAT ARE YOUR SIGNS? 1657 00:53:16,227 --> 00:53:18,838 IS IT OKAY THAT WE SIT HERE? UH, WHAT ARE YOUR SIGNS? OH, GEMINI AND PISCES. 1658 00:53:18,862 --> 00:53:19,973 UH, WHAT ARE YOUR SIGNS? OH, GEMINI AND PISCES. YOU'RE AT THE RIGHT TABLE. 1659 00:53:19,997 --> 00:53:21,241 OH, GEMINI AND PISCES. YOU'RE AT THE RIGHT TABLE. THAT'S PERFECT, PERFECT FOR YOUR 1660 00:53:21,265 --> 00:53:21,642 YOU'RE AT THE RIGHT TABLE. THAT'S PERFECT, PERFECT FOR YOUR ENERGY. 1661 00:53:21,666 --> 00:53:24,444 THAT'S PERFECT, PERFECT FOR YOUR ENERGY. OKAY, GEMINI, PISCES. 1662 00:53:24,468 --> 00:53:25,479 ENERGY. OKAY, GEMINI, PISCES. NO, NO, IT'S THE OTHER WAY 1663 00:53:25,503 --> 00:53:25,845 OKAY, GEMINI, PISCES. NO, NO, IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND. 1664 00:53:25,869 --> 00:53:27,548 NO, NO, IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND. OH, I KNEW IT! 1665 00:53:27,572 --> 00:53:29,049 AROUND. OH, I KNEW IT! OH, WOW! 1666 00:53:29,073 --> 00:53:29,916 OH, I KNEW IT! OH, WOW! FAR OUT. 1667 00:53:29,940 --> 00:53:31,218 OH, WOW! FAR OUT. LIKE, HERE AT THE NATURAL 1668 00:53:31,242 --> 00:53:33,187 FAR OUT. LIKE, HERE AT THE NATURAL CAUSES RESTAURANT, WE ARE 1669 00:53:33,211 --> 00:53:34,821 LIKE, HERE AT THE NATURAL CAUSES RESTAURANT, WE ARE REALLY, LIKE, BEYOND 1670 00:53:34,845 --> 00:53:36,056 CAUSES RESTAURANT, WE ARE REALLY, LIKE, BEYOND VEGETARIANISM. 1671 00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,957 REALLY, LIKE, BEYOND VEGETARIANISM. LIKE, WE SERVE MEAT, BUT WE 1672 00:53:37,981 --> 00:53:39,726 VEGETARIANISM. LIKE, WE SERVE MEAT, BUT WE DON'T BELIEVE IN KILLING. 1673 00:53:39,750 --> 00:53:40,527 LIKE, WE SERVE MEAT, BUT WE DON'T BELIEVE IN KILLING. DIG IT. 1674 00:53:40,551 --> 00:53:42,262 DON'T BELIEVE IN KILLING. DIG IT. YOU SEE, WE FEEL THAT, LIKE, 1675 00:53:42,286 --> 00:53:44,164 DIG IT. YOU SEE, WE FEEL THAT, LIKE, SLAUGHTERED ANIMALS ARE FULL OF 1676 00:53:44,188 --> 00:53:45,232 YOU SEE, WE FEEL THAT, LIKE, SLAUGHTERED ANIMALS ARE FULL OF FEAR, YOU KNOW? 1677 00:53:45,256 --> 00:53:46,966 SLAUGHTERED ANIMALS ARE FULL OF FEAR, YOU KNOW? AND EATING FEAR PRODUCES BAD 1678 00:53:46,990 --> 00:53:48,068 FEAR, YOU KNOW? AND EATING FEAR PRODUCES BAD KARMA, YOU KNOW? 1679 00:53:48,092 --> 00:53:50,437 AND EATING FEAR PRODUCES BAD KARMA, YOU KNOW? SO, LIKE, WE SERVE ANIMALS THAT 1680 00:53:50,461 --> 00:53:52,573 KARMA, YOU KNOW? SO, LIKE, WE SERVE ANIMALS THAT HAVE ONLY DIED FROM NATURAL 1681 00:53:52,597 --> 00:53:55,509 SO, LIKE, WE SERVE ANIMALS THAT HAVE ONLY DIED FROM NATURAL CAUSES. 1682 00:53:55,533 --> 00:53:58,679 HAVE ONLY DIED FROM NATURAL CAUSES. HERE ARE YOUR MENUS. 1683 00:53:58,703 --> 00:53:59,779 CAUSES. HERE ARE YOUR MENUS. WELL, THIS MENU DOESN'T 1684 00:53:59,803 --> 00:54:01,014 HERE ARE YOUR MENUS. WELL, THIS MENU DOESN'T DESCRIBE WHAT YOU HAVE IN THE 1685 00:54:01,038 --> 00:54:02,749 WELL, THIS MENU DOESN'T DESCRIBE WHAT YOU HAVE IN THE DISHES. 1686 00:54:02,773 --> 00:54:05,219 DESCRIBE WHAT YOU HAVE IN THE DISHES. WHAT'S THE KOHUTEK SPECIAL? 1687 00:54:05,243 --> 00:54:07,053 DISHES. WHAT'S THE KOHUTEK SPECIAL? OH, WELL, SEE, IT CHANGES ALL 1688 00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:08,655 WHAT'S THE KOHUTEK SPECIAL? OH, WELL, SEE, IT CHANGES ALL THE TIME, 'CAUSE, LIKE, YOU 1689 00:54:08,679 --> 00:54:10,390 OH, WELL, SEE, IT CHANGES ALL THE TIME, 'CAUSE, LIKE, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GONNA DIE AT 1690 00:54:10,414 --> 00:54:11,491 THE TIME, 'CAUSE, LIKE, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GONNA DIE AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. 1691 00:54:11,515 --> 00:54:12,492 NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GONNA DIE AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. LIKE TODAY THE KOHUTEK 1692 00:54:12,516 --> 00:54:13,660 ANY GIVEN MOMENT. LIKE TODAY THE KOHUTEK SPECIAL MIGHT BE LEG OF LAMB, 1693 00:54:13,684 --> 00:54:14,861 LIKE TODAY THE KOHUTEK SPECIAL MIGHT BE LEG OF LAMB, 'CAUSE WE HAVE A SHEEP BACK IN 1694 00:54:14,885 --> 00:54:15,929 SPECIAL MIGHT BE LEG OF LAMB, 'CAUSE WE HAVE A SHEEP BACK IN THE KITCHEN THAT'S DYING OF 1695 00:54:15,953 --> 00:54:17,997 'CAUSE WE HAVE A SHEEP BACK IN THE KITCHEN THAT'S DYING OF ANTHRAX, YOU KNOW? 1696 00:54:18,021 --> 00:54:19,032 THE KITCHEN THAT'S DYING OF ANTHRAX, YOU KNOW? DO YOU WANT TO GO AND SEE IF 1697 00:54:19,056 --> 00:54:19,899 ANTHRAX, YOU KNOW? DO YOU WANT TO GO AND SEE IF IT'S DEAD YET, SUNSET? 1698 00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:20,434 DO YOU WANT TO GO AND SEE IF IT'S DEAD YET, SUNSET? FOR SURE. 1699 00:54:20,458 --> 00:54:21,468 IT'S DEAD YET, SUNSET? FOR SURE. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GO 1700 00:54:21,492 --> 00:54:22,202 FOR SURE. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GO THROUGH WITH THIS. 1701 00:54:22,226 --> 00:54:23,704 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GO THROUGH WITH THIS. SHELLY! 1702 00:54:23,728 --> 00:54:25,905 THROUGH WITH THIS. SHELLY! OHH, BAD NEWS. 1703 00:54:25,929 --> 00:54:27,941 SHELLY! OHH, BAD NEWS. UH, THE SHEEP'S STILL WHEEZING. 1704 00:54:27,965 --> 00:54:31,077 OHH, BAD NEWS. UH, THE SHEEP'S STILL WHEEZING. OH. WELL, WHAT'S THIS? 1705 00:54:31,101 --> 00:54:32,479 UH, THE SHEEP'S STILL WHEEZING. OH. WELL, WHAT'S THIS? WHAT'S THE MEHER BABA? 1706 00:54:32,503 --> 00:54:34,147 OH. WELL, WHAT'S THIS? WHAT'S THE MEHER BABA? OKAY, THE MEHER BABA IS, 1707 00:54:34,171 --> 00:54:35,915 WHAT'S THE MEHER BABA? OKAY, THE MEHER BABA IS, LIKE, FROG'S LEGS ON A BED OF 1708 00:54:35,939 --> 00:54:36,750 OKAY, THE MEHER BABA IS, LIKE, FROG'S LEGS ON A BED OF BROWN RICE. 1709 00:54:36,774 --> 00:54:38,552 LIKE, FROG'S LEGS ON A BED OF BROWN RICE. OH, SHELLY, YOU LOVE FROG'S 1710 00:54:38,576 --> 00:54:39,085 BROWN RICE. OH, SHELLY, YOU LOVE FROG'S LEGS. 1711 00:54:39,109 --> 00:54:40,420 OH, SHELLY, YOU LOVE FROG'S LEGS. WHERE DO YOU GET THEM FROM? 1712 00:54:40,444 --> 00:54:41,788 LEGS. WHERE DO YOU GET THEM FROM? I PICK THEM UP FROM FAIRFAX 1713 00:54:41,812 --> 00:54:42,623 WHERE DO YOU GET THEM FROM? I PICK THEM UP FROM FAIRFAX HIGH BIOLOGY LAB. 1714 00:54:42,647 --> 00:54:43,957 I PICK THEM UP FROM FAIRFAX HIGH BIOLOGY LAB. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE JUST MISSING 1715 00:54:43,981 --> 00:54:44,824 HIGH BIOLOGY LAB. YOU KNOW, THEY'RE JUST MISSING THEIR MOUTHPARTS. 1716 00:54:44,848 --> 00:54:45,825 YOU KNOW, THEY'RE JUST MISSING THEIR MOUTHPARTS. I THINK I'LL PASS. 1717 00:54:45,849 --> 00:54:46,860 THEIR MOUTHPARTS. I THINK I'LL PASS. WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE? 1718 00:54:46,884 --> 00:54:47,894 I THINK I'LL PASS. WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE? HOW ABOUT SEA GULL? 1719 00:54:47,918 --> 00:54:49,296 WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE? HOW ABOUT SEA GULL? Both: SEA GULL? 1720 00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:50,897 HOW ABOUT SEA GULL? Both: SEA GULL? YEAH, SEA GULLS DROWNED IN A 1721 00:54:50,921 --> 00:54:52,633 Both: SEA GULL? YEAH, SEA GULLS DROWNED IN A SANTA BARBARA OIL SLICK. 1722 00:54:52,657 --> 00:54:54,033 YEAH, SEA GULLS DROWNED IN A SANTA BARBARA OIL SLICK. IT'S COMPLETELY, YOU KNOW... 1723 00:54:54,057 --> 00:54:55,835 SANTA BARBARA OIL SLICK. IT'S COMPLETELY, YOU KNOW... WHAT'S THE EASY WINNER? 1724 00:54:55,859 --> 00:54:57,537 IT'S COMPLETELY, YOU KNOW... WHAT'S THE EASY WINNER? OH, RACEHORSE STRUCK BY 1725 00:54:57,561 --> 00:54:59,439 WHAT'S THE EASY WINNER? OH, RACEHORSE STRUCK BY LIGHTNING ON STONE-GROUND PITA 1726 00:54:59,463 --> 00:55:00,674 OH, RACEHORSE STRUCK BY LIGHTNING ON STONE-GROUND PITA BREAD WITH HUMMUS. 1727 00:55:00,698 --> 00:55:01,975 LIGHTNING ON STONE-GROUND PITA BREAD WITH HUMMUS. RIGHT, AND PREPARED WITH 1728 00:55:01,999 --> 00:55:04,778 BREAD WITH HUMMUS. RIGHT, AND PREPARED WITH LOVE... LOTS OF LOVE. 1729 00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:05,679 RIGHT, AND PREPARED WITH LOVE... LOTS OF LOVE. HORSE. HORSE. 1730 00:55:05,703 --> 00:55:07,213 LOVE... LOTS OF LOVE. HORSE. HORSE. SHELLY, DO YOU FEEL LIKE HORSE? 1731 00:55:07,237 --> 00:55:08,782 HORSE. HORSE. SHELLY, DO YOU FEEL LIKE HORSE? NO, I DON'T THINK I CAN EAT A 1732 00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:09,249 SHELLY, DO YOU FEEL LIKE HORSE? NO, I DON'T THINK I CAN EAT A HORSE. 1733 00:55:09,273 --> 00:55:11,351 NO, I DON'T THINK I CAN EAT A HORSE. OH, SHELLY. 1734 00:55:11,375 --> 00:55:12,919 HORSE. OH, SHELLY. YOU SEE, WE'RE A LITTLE NEW AT 1735 00:55:12,943 --> 00:55:13,387 OH, SHELLY. YOU SEE, WE'RE A LITTLE NEW AT THIS. 1736 00:55:13,411 --> 00:55:14,755 YOU SEE, WE'RE A LITTLE NEW AT THIS. MAYBE YOU COULD RECOMMEND 1737 00:55:14,779 --> 00:55:15,422 THIS. MAYBE YOU COULD RECOMMEND SOMETHING. 1738 00:55:15,446 --> 00:55:17,591 MAYBE YOU COULD RECOMMEND SOMETHING. WELL, THE FRESH CAT IS VERY 1739 00:55:17,615 --> 00:55:18,191 SOMETHING. WELL, THE FRESH CAT IS VERY NICE. 1740 00:55:18,215 --> 00:55:20,126 WELL, THE FRESH CAT IS VERY NICE. FRESH CAT? 1741 00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:21,361 NICE. FRESH CAT? YEAH, IT WAS JUST RUN OVER AN 1742 00:55:21,385 --> 00:55:22,529 FRESH CAT? YEAH, IT WAS JUST RUN OVER AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO ON HIGHWAY 1743 00:55:22,553 --> 00:55:23,363 YEAH, IT WAS JUST RUN OVER AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO ON HIGHWAY 1. 1744 00:55:23,387 --> 00:55:24,864 HOUR AND A HALF AGO ON HIGHWAY 1. YOU MEAN YOU USE ANIMALS THAT 1745 00:55:24,888 --> 00:55:25,965 1. YOU MEAN YOU USE ANIMALS THAT WERE KILLED IN TRAFFIC 1746 00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:26,566 YOU MEAN YOU USE ANIMALS THAT WERE KILLED IN TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS? 1747 00:55:26,590 --> 00:55:29,969 WERE KILLED IN TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS? HEY, THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS. 1748 00:55:29,993 --> 00:55:31,505 ACCIDENTS? HEY, THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS. WELL, "PASADENA" ON THE CAT. 1749 00:55:31,529 --> 00:55:33,006 HEY, THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS. WELL, "PASADENA" ON THE CAT. WOULD YOU MIND CHECKING ON THAT 1750 00:55:33,030 --> 00:55:33,740 WELL, "PASADENA" ON THE CAT. WOULD YOU MIND CHECKING ON THAT SHEEP AGAIN? 1751 00:55:33,764 --> 00:55:34,408 WOULD YOU MIND CHECKING ON THAT SHEEP AGAIN? SURE. 1752 00:55:34,432 --> 00:55:35,809 SHEEP AGAIN? SURE. LIKE, WE GARNISH IT WITH 1753 00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:37,277 SURE. LIKE, WE GARNISH IT WITH INSECTS THAT I SCRAPE OFF THE 1754 00:55:37,301 --> 00:55:40,146 LIKE, WE GARNISH IT WITH INSECTS THAT I SCRAPE OFF THE WINDSHIELD OF MY VAN, YOU KNOW? 1755 00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:41,715 INSECTS THAT I SCRAPE OFF THE WINDSHIELD OF MY VAN, YOU KNOW? OH, WOW. 1756 00:55:41,739 --> 00:55:43,350 WINDSHIELD OF MY VAN, YOU KNOW? OH, WOW. BAD NEWS AGAIN. 1757 00:55:43,374 --> 00:55:45,352 OH, WOW. BAD NEWS AGAIN. THE SHEEP SEEMS TO HAVE PERKED 1758 00:55:45,376 --> 00:55:46,320 BAD NEWS AGAIN. THE SHEEP SEEMS TO HAVE PERKED UP. 1759 00:55:46,344 --> 00:55:49,623 THE SHEEP SEEMS TO HAVE PERKED UP. OH, WELL, THAT'S A DRAG. 1760 00:55:49,647 --> 00:55:51,391 UP. OH, WELL, THAT'S A DRAG. WELL, WHAT'LL IT BE... FROG, SEA 1761 00:55:51,415 --> 00:55:53,092 OH, WELL, THAT'S A DRAG. WELL, WHAT'LL IT BE... FROG, SEA GULL, HORSE, OR CAT? 1762 00:55:53,116 --> 00:55:55,195 WELL, WHAT'LL IT BE... FROG, SEA GULL, HORSE, OR CAT? WELL, WHAT IS THIS OM 1763 00:55:55,219 --> 00:55:56,229 GULL, HORSE, OR CAT? WELL, WHAT IS THIS OM SURPRISE? 1764 00:55:56,253 --> 00:55:57,331 WELL, WHAT IS THIS OM SURPRISE? OH, THE OM SURPRISE. 1765 00:55:57,355 --> 00:55:58,665 SURPRISE? OH, THE OM SURPRISE. WELL, THAT'S JUST STEAK, MAN, 1766 00:55:58,689 --> 00:55:59,232 OH, THE OM SURPRISE. WELL, THAT'S JUST STEAK, MAN, YOU KNOW? 1767 00:55:59,256 --> 00:56:00,266 WELL, THAT'S JUST STEAK, MAN, YOU KNOW? STEAK? WHAT HAPPENED? 1768 00:56:00,290 --> 00:56:02,469 YOU KNOW? STEAK? WHAT HAPPENED? DID THE COW HAVE A HEART ATTACK? 1769 00:56:02,493 --> 00:56:03,537 STEAK? WHAT HAPPENED? DID THE COW HAVE A HEART ATTACK? NO, MAN. 1770 00:56:03,561 --> 00:56:06,473 DID THE COW HAVE A HEART ATTACK? NO, MAN. WHAT HAPPENED WAS ONE DAY I WAS 1771 00:56:06,497 --> 00:56:07,841 NO, MAN. WHAT HAPPENED WAS ONE DAY I WAS STANDING OUTSIDE OF THE 1772 00:56:07,865 --> 00:56:08,942 WHAT HAPPENED WAS ONE DAY I WAS STANDING OUTSIDE OF THE RESTAURANT, OKAY? 1773 00:56:08,966 --> 00:56:10,377 STANDING OUTSIDE OF THE RESTAURANT, OKAY? AND, LIKE, THIS COW DROPPED OUT 1774 00:56:10,401 --> 00:56:11,411 RESTAURANT, OKAY? AND, LIKE, THIS COW DROPPED OUT OF THE SKY, YOU KNOW? 1775 00:56:11,435 --> 00:56:12,746 AND, LIKE, THIS COW DROPPED OUT OF THE SKY, YOU KNOW? AND LATER I FOUND OUT IT WAS 1776 00:56:12,770 --> 00:56:13,913 OF THE SKY, YOU KNOW? AND LATER I FOUND OUT IT WAS THIS FLYING MEXICAN MEAT 1777 00:56:13,937 --> 00:56:15,315 AND LATER I FOUND OUT IT WAS THIS FLYING MEXICAN MEAT SMUGGLER'S AIRPLANE, YOU KNOW? 1778 00:56:15,339 --> 00:56:16,783 THIS FLYING MEXICAN MEAT SMUGGLER'S AIRPLANE, YOU KNOW? HE WAS BEING CHASED BY THE U.S. 1779 00:56:16,807 --> 00:56:17,551 SMUGGLER'S AIRPLANE, YOU KNOW? HE WAS BEING CHASED BY THE U.S. BORDER PATROL. 1780 00:56:17,575 --> 00:56:18,952 HE WAS BEING CHASED BY THE U.S. BORDER PATROL. HE GOT CAUGHT ON RADAR, AND HE 1781 00:56:18,976 --> 00:56:21,355 BORDER PATROL. HE GOT CAUGHT ON RADAR, AND HE HAD TO JETTISON HIS CATTLE. 1782 00:56:21,379 --> 00:56:23,256 HE GOT CAUGHT ON RADAR, AND HE HAD TO JETTISON HIS CATTLE. ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME 1783 00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:25,325 HAD TO JETTISON HIS CATTLE. ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE STEAK ON THE MENU 1784 00:56:25,349 --> 00:56:27,461 ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE STEAK ON THE MENU BECAUSE SOME FLYING MEXICAN MEAT 1785 00:56:27,485 --> 00:56:29,596 THAT YOU HAVE STEAK ON THE MENU BECAUSE SOME FLYING MEXICAN MEAT SMUGGLER WHO WAS BEING CHASED BY 1786 00:56:29,620 --> 00:56:31,732 BECAUSE SOME FLYING MEXICAN MEAT SMUGGLER WHO WAS BEING CHASED BY AMERICAN FEDS DROPPED A COW OVER 1787 00:56:31,756 --> 00:56:34,300 SMUGGLER WHO WAS BEING CHASED BY AMERICAN FEDS DROPPED A COW OVER YOUR RESTAURANT ACCIDENTALLY? 1788 00:56:34,324 --> 00:56:37,437 AMERICAN FEDS DROPPED A COW OVER YOUR RESTAURANT ACCIDENTALLY? THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS. 1789 00:56:37,461 --> 00:56:39,305 YOUR RESTAURANT ACCIDENTALLY? THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS. REALLY. 1790 00:56:39,329 --> 00:56:41,529 THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS. REALLY. [PLANE APPROACHING] 1791 00:56:47,837 --> 00:56:52,608 SO, MAN, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR STEAK... RARE, MEDIUM, OR WELL-DONE? 1792 00:57:05,588 --> 00:57:10,771 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY SON JASON'S AUNT... ROZZIE KIND. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1793 00:57:10,795 --> 00:57:18,795 JASON'S AUNT... ROZZIE KIND. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ["I'M NOT ANYONE" PLAYING] 1794 00:57:21,338 --> 00:57:27,687 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ["I'M NOT ANYONE" PLAYING] ♪ I'M NOT ANYONE ♪ 1795 00:57:27,711 --> 00:57:33,159 ["I'M NOT ANYONE" PLAYING] ♪ I'M NOT ANYONE ♪ ♪ NO, NOT JUST ANYONE ♪ 1796 00:57:33,183 --> 00:57:38,364 ♪ I'M NOT ANYONE ♪ ♪ NO, NOT JUST ANYONE ♪ ♪ I HAVE THE RIGHT TO LEAD A 1797 00:57:38,388 --> 00:57:40,867 ♪ NO, NOT JUST ANYONE ♪ ♪ I HAVE THE RIGHT TO LEAD A LIFE FULFILLED ♪ 1798 00:57:40,891 --> 00:57:46,673 ♪ I HAVE THE RIGHT TO LEAD A LIFE FULFILLED ♪ ♪ EVERY NEED ♪ 1799 00:57:46,697 --> 00:57:54,047 LIFE FULFILLED ♪ ♪ EVERY NEED ♪ ♪ I'M NOT ANY GIRL DESIGNED TO 1800 00:57:54,071 --> 00:57:59,786 ♪ EVERY NEED ♪ ♪ I'M NOT ANY GIRL DESIGNED TO FIT SOMEONE'S PLAN ♪ 1801 00:57:59,810 --> 00:58:04,858 ♪ I'M NOT ANY GIRL DESIGNED TO FIT SOMEONE'S PLAN ♪ ♪ I HAVE MY OWN DESIRES OF THE 1802 00:58:04,882 --> 00:58:08,562 FIT SOMEONE'S PLAN ♪ ♪ I HAVE MY OWN DESIRES OF THE THINGS A GIRL ASPIRES ♪ 1803 00:58:08,586 --> 00:58:13,667 ♪ I HAVE MY OWN DESIRES OF THE THINGS A GIRL ASPIRES ♪ ♪ NO, I'LL NOT BE USED ♪ 1804 00:58:13,691 --> 00:58:19,072 THINGS A GIRL ASPIRES ♪ ♪ NO, I'LL NOT BE USED ♪ ♪ MISLED, DECEIVED, OR ABUSED ♪ 1805 00:58:19,096 --> 00:58:21,708 ♪ NO, I'LL NOT BE USED ♪ ♪ MISLED, DECEIVED, OR ABUSED ♪ ♪ NO, SIR, NOT ME ♪ 1806 00:58:21,732 --> 00:58:24,478 ♪ MISLED, DECEIVED, OR ABUSED ♪ ♪ NO, SIR, NOT ME ♪ ♪ I AM FREE ♪ 1807 00:58:24,502 --> 00:58:29,683 ♪ NO, SIR, NOT ME ♪ ♪ I AM FREE ♪ ♪ AND I'LL NOT GIVE AWAY ♪ 1808 00:58:29,707 --> 00:58:35,889 ♪ I AM FREE ♪ ♪ AND I'LL NOT GIVE AWAY ♪ ♪ THE FREEDOM I HAVE IS TO SAY ♪ 1809 00:58:35,913 --> 00:58:41,394 ♪ AND I'LL NOT GIVE AWAY ♪ ♪ THE FREEDOM I HAVE IS TO SAY ♪ ♪ TO SAY I DO, I DON'T ♪ 1810 00:58:41,418 --> 00:58:49,418 ♪ THE FREEDOM I HAVE IS TO SAY ♪ ♪ TO SAY I DO, I DON'T ♪ ♪ I WILL OR I WON'T ♪ 1811 00:58:49,660 --> 00:58:52,105 ♪ TO SAY I DO, I DON'T ♪ ♪ I WILL OR I WON'T ♪ ♪ "KNOW THYSELF" ♪ 1812 00:58:52,129 --> 00:58:55,008 ♪ I WILL OR I WON'T ♪ ♪ "KNOW THYSELF" ♪ ♪ THESE WORDS ARE TRUE ♪ 1813 00:58:55,032 --> 00:58:56,910 ♪ "KNOW THYSELF" ♪ ♪ THESE WORDS ARE TRUE ♪ ♪ KNOW THYSELF ♪ 1814 00:58:56,934 --> 00:58:59,713 ♪ THESE WORDS ARE TRUE ♪ ♪ KNOW THYSELF ♪ ♪ I HOPE I DO ♪ 1815 00:58:59,737 --> 00:59:03,282 ♪ KNOW THYSELF ♪ ♪ I HOPE I DO ♪ ♪ TOILED AWHILE, BUT NOT IN 1816 00:59:03,306 --> 00:59:04,718 ♪ I HOPE I DO ♪ ♪ TOILED AWHILE, BUT NOT IN VAIN ♪ 1817 00:59:04,742 --> 00:59:07,754 ♪ TOILED AWHILE, BUT NOT IN VAIN ♪ ♪ I REMOVE THE CHILD ♪ 1818 00:59:07,778 --> 00:59:11,457 VAIN ♪ ♪ I REMOVE THE CHILD ♪ ♪ THE WOMAN REMAINED ♪ 1819 00:59:11,481 --> 00:59:15,896 ♪ I REMOVE THE CHILD ♪ ♪ THE WOMAN REMAINED ♪ ♪ LIFE'S FILLED WITH THOSE WHO 1820 00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:17,096 ♪ THE WOMAN REMAINED ♪ ♪ LIFE'S FILLED WITH THOSE WHO FAIL ♪ 1821 00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:20,199 ♪ LIFE'S FILLED WITH THOSE WHO FAIL ♪ ♪ THE WEAK, THE STRONG ♪ 1822 00:59:20,223 --> 00:59:23,537 FAIL ♪ ♪ THE WEAK, THE STRONG ♪ ♪ THE MEEK, THE FRAIL ♪ 1823 00:59:23,561 --> 00:59:28,775 ♪ THE WEAK, THE STRONG ♪ ♪ THE MEEK, THE FRAIL ♪ ♪ THOSE WHO JUST REFUSE TO TRY ♪ 1824 00:59:28,799 --> 00:59:33,446 ♪ THE MEEK, THE FRAIL ♪ ♪ THOSE WHO JUST REFUSE TO TRY ♪ ♪ THOSE WHO JUST LIVE TO DIE ♪ 1825 00:59:33,470 --> 00:59:35,381 ♪ THOSE WHO JUST REFUSE TO TRY ♪ ♪ THOSE WHO JUST LIVE TO DIE ♪ ♪ I'M NOT ♪ 1826 00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:38,752 ♪ THOSE WHO JUST LIVE TO DIE ♪ ♪ I'M NOT ♪ ♪ I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE ♪ 1827 00:59:38,776 --> 00:59:45,025 ♪ I'M NOT ♪ ♪ I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE ♪ ♪ I'M FULL OF PRIDE I SUPPOSE ♪ 1828 00:59:45,049 --> 00:59:47,594 ♪ I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE ♪ ♪ I'M FULL OF PRIDE I SUPPOSE ♪ ♪ I'LL SAY IT LOUD ♪ 1829 00:59:47,618 --> 00:59:50,530 ♪ I'M FULL OF PRIDE I SUPPOSE ♪ ♪ I'LL SAY IT LOUD ♪ ♪ I AM PROUD ♪ 1830 00:59:50,554 --> 00:59:52,732 ♪ I'LL SAY IT LOUD ♪ ♪ I AM PROUD ♪ ♪ AND I'LL NOT ♪ 1831 00:59:52,756 --> 00:59:56,002 ♪ I AM PROUD ♪ ♪ AND I'LL NOT ♪ ♪ I'LL NOT BE A SPACE ♪ 1832 00:59:56,026 --> 00:59:59,940 ♪ AND I'LL NOT ♪ ♪ I'LL NOT BE A SPACE ♪ ♪ A COLD ONE, A NUMBER, OR 1833 00:59:59,964 --> 01:00:02,042 ♪ I'LL NOT BE A SPACE ♪ ♪ A COLD ONE, A NUMBER, OR FACE ♪ 1834 01:00:02,066 --> 01:00:04,277 ♪ A COLD ONE, A NUMBER, OR FACE ♪ ♪ NO, SIR, NOT ME ♪ 1835 01:00:04,301 --> 01:00:07,013 FACE ♪ ♪ NO, SIR, NOT ME ♪ ♪ I AM FREE ♪ 1836 01:00:07,037 --> 01:00:10,516 ♪ NO, SIR, NOT ME ♪ ♪ I AM FREE ♪ ♪ I'LL LAY MY LIFE ♪ 1837 01:00:10,540 --> 01:00:13,019 ♪ I AM FREE ♪ ♪ I'LL LAY MY LIFE ♪ ♪ ON THE LINE ♪ 1838 01:00:13,043 --> 01:00:16,957 ♪ I'LL LAY MY LIFE ♪ ♪ ON THE LINE ♪ ♪ THIS FREEDOM I'VE GOT IS ALL 1839 01:00:16,981 --> 01:00:18,357 ♪ ON THE LINE ♪ ♪ THIS FREEDOM I'VE GOT IS ALL MINE ♪ 1840 01:00:18,381 --> 01:00:20,927 ♪ THIS FREEDOM I'VE GOT IS ALL MINE ♪ ♪ NO, SIR, NOT ME ♪ 1841 01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:22,095 MINE ♪ ♪ NO, SIR, NOT ME ♪ ♪ CAN'T YOU HEAR IT? ♪ 1842 01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:24,998 ♪ NO, SIR, NOT ME ♪ ♪ CAN'T YOU HEAR IT? ♪ ♪ I'M FREE ♪ 1843 01:00:25,022 --> 01:00:28,534 ♪ CAN'T YOU HEAR IT? ♪ ♪ I'M FREE ♪ ♪ FREE ♪ 1844 01:00:28,558 --> 01:00:36,375 ♪ I'M FREE ♪ ♪ FREE ♪ ♪ FREE ♪ 1845 01:00:36,399 --> 01:00:38,333 ♪ FREE ♪ ♪ FREE ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1846 01:00:56,886 --> 01:01:02,836 WELL, ROZZIE, NOW HERE'S THIS WEEK'S HOME MOVIE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1847 01:01:02,860 --> 01:01:05,460 WEEK'S HOME MOVIE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING] 1848 01:01:33,556 --> 01:01:35,356 [MUSIC CONTINUES] 1849 01:02:04,553 --> 01:02:06,354 [MUSIC CONTINUES] 1850 01:02:29,779 --> 01:02:37,779 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Announcer: IF YOU HAVE A SUPER 8 OR A 16mm HOME MOVIE 1851 01:02:38,688 --> 01:02:40,033 Announcer: IF YOU HAVE A SUPER 8 OR A 16mm HOME MOVIE APPROXIMATELY TWO MINUTES IN 1852 01:02:40,057 --> 01:02:43,137 SUPER 8 OR A 16mm HOME MOVIE APPROXIMATELY TWO MINUTES IN LENGTH, SEND IT TO... 1853 01:02:49,498 --> 01:02:55,014 AND INCLUDE A STAMPED, SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE. THEY'LL BE NO MONEY AT ALL. 1854 01:02:55,038 --> 01:02:57,450 SELF-ADDRESSED ENVELOPE. THEY'LL BE NO MONEY AT ALL. WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THIS FILMED 1855 01:02:57,474 --> 01:03:00,114 THEY'LL BE NO MONEY AT ALL. WE'LL BE BACK AFTER THIS FILMED MESSAGE. 1856 01:03:02,111 --> 01:03:07,526 SO LONG, MA. NO TIME RIGHT NOW. [LAUGHS] 1857 01:03:07,550 --> 01:03:08,828 NO TIME RIGHT NOW. [LAUGHS] HI, I'M CHEVY CHASE, AND IF 1858 01:03:08,852 --> 01:03:10,196 [LAUGHS] HI, I'M CHEVY CHASE, AND IF YOU'RE SKIPPING MEALS BECAUSE 1859 01:03:10,220 --> 01:03:11,664 HI, I'M CHEVY CHASE, AND IF YOU'RE SKIPPING MEALS BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T FIND THE TIME TO 1860 01:03:11,688 --> 01:03:13,599 YOU'RE SKIPPING MEALS BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T FIND THE TIME TO EAT THEM, WHY NOT TRY A PILSON'S 1861 01:03:13,623 --> 01:03:14,700 YOU JUST CAN'T FIND THE TIME TO EAT THEM, WHY NOT TRY A PILSON'S FEED BAG DINNER? 1862 01:03:14,724 --> 01:03:16,636 EAT THEM, WHY NOT TRY A PILSON'S FEED BAG DINNER? YOU KNOW, EACH PILSON'S FEED BAG 1863 01:03:16,660 --> 01:03:17,971 FEED BAG DINNER? YOU KNOW, EACH PILSON'S FEED BAG DINNER HAS THREE SCRUMPTIOUS 1864 01:03:17,995 --> 01:03:20,339 YOU KNOW, EACH PILSON'S FEED BAG DINNER HAS THREE SCRUMPTIOUS COURSES... SOUP, YOUR CHOICE OF 1865 01:03:20,363 --> 01:03:22,508 DINNER HAS THREE SCRUMPTIOUS COURSES... SOUP, YOUR CHOICE OF SIX EXCITING ENTRéES, PLUS A 1866 01:03:22,532 --> 01:03:24,077 COURSES... SOUP, YOUR CHOICE OF SIX EXCITING ENTRéES, PLUS A YUMMY APPLE BROWN BETTY. 1867 01:03:24,101 --> 01:03:25,945 SIX EXCITING ENTRéES, PLUS A YUMMY APPLE BROWN BETTY. AND IT STRAPS RIGHT ON TO YOUR 1868 01:03:25,969 --> 01:03:27,380 YUMMY APPLE BROWN BETTY. AND IT STRAPS RIGHT ON TO YOUR FACE. 1869 01:03:27,404 --> 01:03:28,648 AND IT STRAPS RIGHT ON TO YOUR FACE. I'M 15 MINUTES LATE FOR AN 1870 01:03:28,672 --> 01:03:30,116 FACE. I'M 15 MINUTES LATE FOR AN IMPORTANT DATE RIGHT NOW, AND I 1871 01:03:30,140 --> 01:03:32,318 I'M 15 MINUTES LATE FOR AN IMPORTANT DATE RIGHT NOW, AND I JUST HAVEN'T GOT TIME TO EAT. 1872 01:03:32,342 --> 01:03:34,788 IMPORTANT DATE RIGHT NOW, AND I JUST HAVEN'T GOT TIME TO EAT. MMM, MMM! 1873 01:03:34,812 --> 01:03:37,157 JUST HAVEN'T GOT TIME TO EAT. MMM, MMM! TUNA... TASTES GREAT ALREADY. 1874 01:03:37,181 --> 01:03:38,324 MMM, MMM! TUNA... TASTES GREAT ALREADY. ♪ EAT AND RUN ♪ 1875 01:03:38,348 --> 01:03:39,625 TUNA... TASTES GREAT ALREADY. ♪ EAT AND RUN ♪ ♪ EAT AND RUN, EAT AND RUN ♪ 1876 01:03:39,649 --> 01:03:40,827 ♪ EAT AND RUN ♪ ♪ EAT AND RUN, EAT AND RUN ♪ ♪ EVERYONE ♪ 1877 01:03:40,851 --> 01:03:41,995 ♪ EAT AND RUN, EAT AND RUN ♪ ♪ EVERYONE ♪ ♪ EVERYONE, EVERYONE ♪ 1878 01:03:42,019 --> 01:03:43,263 ♪ EVERYONE ♪ ♪ EVERYONE, EVERYONE ♪ ♪ FEED YOUR FACE ♪ 1879 01:03:43,287 --> 01:03:44,297 ♪ EVERYONE, EVERYONE ♪ ♪ FEED YOUR FACE ♪ ♪ FEED YOUR FACE ♪ 1880 01:03:44,321 --> 01:03:45,431 ♪ FEED YOUR FACE ♪ ♪ FEED YOUR FACE ♪ ♪ ANYPLACE ♪ 1881 01:03:45,455 --> 01:03:46,732 ♪ FEED YOUR FACE ♪ ♪ ANYPLACE ♪ ♪ ANYPLACE, ANYPLACE ♪ 1882 01:03:46,756 --> 01:03:50,937 ♪ ANYPLACE ♪ ♪ ANYPLACE, ANYPLACE ♪ ♪ TIE ONE ON ANYPLACE ♪ 1883 01:03:50,961 --> 01:03:52,839 ♪ ANYPLACE, ANYPLACE ♪ ♪ TIE ONE ON ANYPLACE ♪ ♪ WITH PILSON'S FEED BAG 1884 01:03:52,863 --> 01:03:54,707 ♪ TIE ONE ON ANYPLACE ♪ ♪ WITH PILSON'S FEED BAG DINNERS, YOU'VE GOT TIME TO FEED 1885 01:03:54,731 --> 01:03:58,544 ♪ WITH PILSON'S FEED BAG DINNERS, YOU'VE GOT TIME TO FEED YOUR FACE ♪ 1886 01:03:58,568 --> 01:03:59,512 DINNERS, YOU'VE GOT TIME TO FEED YOUR FACE ♪ HI, HONEY. 1887 01:03:59,536 --> 01:04:00,814 YOUR FACE ♪ HI, HONEY. SO, WHERE ARE WE GOING TO EAT? 1888 01:04:00,838 --> 01:04:02,548 HI, HONEY. SO, WHERE ARE WE GOING TO EAT? [LAUGHS] 1889 01:04:02,572 --> 01:04:06,607 SO, WHERE ARE WE GOING TO EAT? [LAUGHS] ♪ FEED BAGS, FROM PILSON'S ♪ 1890 01:04:20,589 --> 01:04:28,589 [MAKES HISSING NOISE] I'M ON? WE GOT 60 SECONDS TO FILL, 1891 01:04:32,936 --> 01:04:33,446 I'M ON? WE GOT 60 SECONDS TO FILL, RIGHT? 1892 01:04:33,470 --> 01:04:35,114 WE GOT 60 SECONDS TO FILL, RIGHT? I KNOW WE GOT "EARL THE PEARL" 1893 01:04:35,138 --> 01:04:36,182 RIGHT? I KNOW WE GOT "EARL THE PEARL" SITTING UP THERE. 1894 01:04:36,206 --> 01:04:41,787 I KNOW WE GOT "EARL THE PEARL" SITTING UP THERE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1895 01:04:41,811 --> 01:04:42,922 SITTING UP THERE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] HE'S UP THERE? 1896 01:04:42,946 --> 01:04:43,756 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] HE'S UP THERE? YEAH. 1897 01:04:43,780 --> 01:04:45,325 HE'S UP THERE? YEAH. HEY, I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN 1898 01:04:45,349 --> 01:04:45,925 YEAH. HEY, I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN APPEAL. 1899 01:04:45,949 --> 01:04:47,560 HEY, I'D LIKE TO MAKE AN APPEAL. I NEED A PAIR OF TANKS FOR A 1900 01:04:47,584 --> 01:04:48,862 APPEAL. I NEED A PAIR OF TANKS FOR A HARLEY-DAVIDSON, A '71 1901 01:04:48,886 --> 01:04:50,529 I NEED A PAIR OF TANKS FOR A HARLEY-DAVIDSON, A '71 ELECTRA-GLIDE POLICE SPECIAL. 1902 01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:51,797 HARLEY-DAVIDSON, A '71 ELECTRA-GLIDE POLICE SPECIAL. I NEED FAT-BOB TANKS. 1903 01:04:51,821 --> 01:04:52,999 ELECTRA-GLIDE POLICE SPECIAL. I NEED FAT-BOB TANKS. I'VE ONLY GOT THE 3.2-GALLON 1904 01:04:53,023 --> 01:04:53,366 I NEED FAT-BOB TANKS. I'VE ONLY GOT THE 3.2-GALLON TANKS. 1905 01:04:53,390 --> 01:04:54,334 I'VE ONLY GOT THE 3.2-GALLON TANKS. I NEED THE BIG TANKS. 1906 01:04:54,358 --> 01:04:55,468 TANKS. I NEED THE BIG TANKS. PLEASE WRITE ME A LETTER IF 1907 01:04:55,492 --> 01:04:56,236 I NEED THE BIG TANKS. PLEASE WRITE ME A LETTER IF YOU'VE GOT THEM. 1908 01:04:56,260 --> 01:04:57,270 PLEASE WRITE ME A LETTER IF YOU'VE GOT THEM. I'LL PAY YOU GOOD MONEY. 1909 01:04:57,294 --> 01:04:58,905 YOU'VE GOT THEM. I'LL PAY YOU GOOD MONEY. THIS IS FOR A 1971 ELECTRA-GLIDE 1910 01:04:58,929 --> 01:05:00,473 I'LL PAY YOU GOOD MONEY. THIS IS FOR A 1971 ELECTRA-GLIDE HARLEY-DAVIDSON POLICE SPECIAL. 1911 01:05:00,497 --> 01:05:02,008 THIS IS FOR A 1971 ELECTRA-GLIDE HARLEY-DAVIDSON POLICE SPECIAL. I NEED THE TANKS, SOME FAT-BOB 1912 01:05:02,032 --> 01:05:02,475 HARLEY-DAVIDSON POLICE SPECIAL. I NEED THE TANKS, SOME FAT-BOB TANKS. 1913 01:05:02,499 --> 01:05:04,110 I NEED THE TANKS, SOME FAT-BOB TANKS. THANK YOU. 1914 01:05:04,134 --> 01:05:05,711 TANKS. THANK YOU. ALSO, GALE SAYERS... 1915 01:05:05,735 --> 01:05:07,613 THANK YOU. ALSO, GALE SAYERS... GALE SAYERS... I HOPE THAT HE 1916 01:05:07,637 --> 01:05:09,548 ALSO, GALE SAYERS... GALE SAYERS... I HOPE THAT HE GETS BETTER, AND DICK BUTKUS, 1917 01:05:09,572 --> 01:05:11,550 GALE SAYERS... I HOPE THAT HE GETS BETTER, AND DICK BUTKUS, ALSO... MY TWO IDOLS. 1918 01:05:11,574 --> 01:05:12,218 GETS BETTER, AND DICK BUTKUS, ALSO... MY TWO IDOLS. THAT'S IT. 1919 01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:13,786 ALSO... MY TWO IDOLS. THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL. SAY GOOD NIGHT. 1920 01:05:13,810 --> 01:05:14,787 THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL. SAY GOOD NIGHT. GILDA, YOU WANT TO SAY 1921 01:05:14,811 --> 01:05:15,288 THAT'S ALL. SAY GOOD NIGHT. GILDA, YOU WANT TO SAY ANYTHING? 1922 01:05:15,312 --> 01:05:15,821 GILDA, YOU WANT TO SAY ANYTHING? NOTHING. 1923 01:05:15,845 --> 01:05:16,655 ANYTHING? NOTHING. SAY GOOD NIGHT TO 1924 01:05:16,679 --> 01:05:17,723 NOTHING. SAY GOOD NIGHT TO JOHNNY CARSON, ED McMAHON, 1925 01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:18,091 SAY GOOD NIGHT TO JOHNNY CARSON, ED McMAHON, AND... 1926 01:05:18,115 --> 01:05:20,193 JOHNNY CARSON, ED McMAHON, AND... DOC SEVERINSEN. 1927 01:05:20,217 --> 01:05:21,961 AND... DOC SEVERINSEN. WE DON'T WATCH YOUR SHOW, BUT 1928 01:05:21,985 --> 01:05:23,930 DOC SEVERINSEN. WE DON'T WATCH YOUR SHOW, BUT WE RESPECT YOU VERY MUCH. 1929 01:05:23,954 --> 01:05:25,831 WE DON'T WATCH YOUR SHOW, BUT WE RESPECT YOU VERY MUCH. ELLIOTT GOULD IS THE BEST HOPE 1930 01:05:25,855 --> 01:05:26,766 WE RESPECT YOU VERY MUCH. ELLIOTT GOULD IS THE BEST HOPE WE EVER HAD. 1931 01:05:26,790 --> 01:05:28,634 ELLIOTT GOULD IS THE BEST HOPE WE EVER HAD. HE'S THE BEST HOST WE'VE EVER 1932 01:05:28,658 --> 01:05:29,668 WE EVER HAD. HE'S THE BEST HOST WE'VE EVER HAD, HONESTLY. 1933 01:05:29,692 --> 01:05:32,252 HE'S THE BEST HOST WE'VE EVER HAD, HONESTLY. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1934 01:06:01,290 --> 01:06:02,657 Announcer: NEXT SATURDAY 1935 01:06:02,791 --> 01:06:03,959 NIGHT, OUR HOST WILL BE 1936 01:06:04,093 --> 01:06:05,593 ERIC IDLE, WITH MUSICAL GUESTS 1937 01:06:05,727 --> 01:06:08,596 NEIL INNES AND ALAN PRICE. 1938 01:06:08,730 --> 01:06:10,565 YOUR ANNOUNCER IS DON PARDO. 1939 01:06:10,699 --> 01:06:12,600 I WONDER... SHOULD I LEAVE MY 1940 01:06:12,734 --> 01:06:14,469 MAKEUP ON TILL I GET HOME? 1941 01:06:14,603 --> 01:06:15,603 WHY NOT? 1942 01:06:15,637 --> 01:06:18,373 I LOOK SO HANDSOME WITH MAKEUP! 1943 01:06:18,507 --> 01:06:20,308 GOODBYE! 212840