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All language subtitles for SNL S02E15 Steve Martin.DVDRip.HI.RLP.cc.en.UNVSL

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:05,748 OKAY, WE'LL SEE YOU LATER. AFTER THE SHOW, HUH? OH, HELLO, STEVE. 2 00:00:05,772 --> 00:00:07,184 AFTER THE SHOW, HUH? OH, HELLO, STEVE. GILDA, HOW YOU DOING? 3 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,085 OH, HELLO, STEVE. GILDA, HOW YOU DOING? I'M JUST GREAT. 4 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,453 GILDA, HOW YOU DOING? I'M JUST GREAT. YOU KNOW, STEVE, I FEEL KIND OF 5 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:09,819 I'M JUST GREAT. YOU KNOW, STEVE, I FEEL KIND OF BAD. 6 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,221 YOU KNOW, STEVE, I FEEL KIND OF BAD. I HAVEN'T SEEN AS MUCH OF YOU AS 7 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:12,622 BAD. I HAVEN'T SEEN AS MUCH OF YOU AS I DID THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON 8 00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:13,156 I HAVEN'T SEEN AS MUCH OF YOU AS I DID THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON THE SHOW. 9 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,424 I DID THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON THE SHOW. WELL, WE'VE BEEN PRETTY BUSY 10 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:15,125 THE SHOW. WELL, WE'VE BEEN PRETTY BUSY WITH THE SHOW. 11 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:15,792 WELL, WE'VE BEEN PRETTY BUSY WITH THE SHOW. YOU KNOW THAT. 12 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:16,293 WITH THE SHOW. YOU KNOW THAT. RIGHT. 13 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:17,194 YOU KNOW THAT. RIGHT. HEY, COME ON. 14 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,561 RIGHT. HEY, COME ON. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 15 00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:19,363 HEY, COME ON. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? I DON'T KNOW. 16 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:20,697 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? I DON'T KNOW. I THINK YOU'VE CHANGED A LITTLE 17 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:21,865 I DON'T KNOW. I THINK YOU'VE CHANGED A LITTLE BIT SINCE YOU WERE ON "THE 18 00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:22,565 I THINK YOU'VE CHANGED A LITTLE BIT SINCE YOU WERE ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW." 19 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:23,533 BIT SINCE YOU WERE ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW." WHAT? 20 00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:24,734 TONIGHT SHOW." WHAT? ME, CHANGE? 21 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,137 WHAT? ME, CHANGE? JUST BECAUSE I GUEST-HOSTED 22 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,339 ME, CHANGE? JUST BECAUSE I GUEST-HOSTED "THE TONIGHT SHOW"? 23 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,407 JUST BECAUSE I GUEST-HOSTED "THE TONIGHT SHOW"? GUEST-HOSTED, RIGHT. 24 00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,674 "THE TONIGHT SHOW"? GUEST-HOSTED, RIGHT. WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE ON THE ROAD 25 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:32,409 GUEST-HOSTED, RIGHT. WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE ON THE ROAD AND EVERYTHING. 26 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:33,710 WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE ON THE ROAD AND EVERYTHING. WELL, YOU KNOW, SHOW BUSINESS 27 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:34,277 AND EVERYTHING. WELL, YOU KNOW, SHOW BUSINESS IS MY LIFE. 28 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:36,046 WELL, YOU KNOW, SHOW BUSINESS IS MY LIFE. WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? 29 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:38,482 IS MY LIFE. WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? WELL, UH... I GUESS YOUR LIFE 30 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,317 WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? WELL, UH... I GUESS YOUR LIFE IS RUINED. 31 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:41,551 WELL, UH... I GUESS YOUR LIFE IS RUINED. I MEAN, YOU KNEW I WAS A 32 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:42,819 IS RUINED. I MEAN, YOU KNEW I WAS A RAMBLIN' GUY WHEN YOU GOT 33 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:43,286 I MEAN, YOU KNEW I WAS A RAMBLIN' GUY WHEN YOU GOT INVOLVED. 34 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:44,087 RAMBLIN' GUY WHEN YOU GOT INVOLVED. WELL, YOU COULD HAVE CALLED 35 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:44,654 INVOLVED. WELL, YOU COULD HAVE CALLED ME OR SOMETHING. 36 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:45,822 WELL, YOU COULD HAVE CALLED ME OR SOMETHING. WELL, I DID CALL YOU. 37 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,290 ME OR SOMETHING. WELL, I DID CALL YOU. I LEFT THE NAME OF THE LOTION ON 38 00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:48,392 WELL, I DID CALL YOU. I LEFT THE NAME OF THE LOTION ON YOUR ANSWERING SERVICE! 39 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:49,826 I LEFT THE NAME OF THE LOTION ON YOUR ANSWERING SERVICE! WAS THAT YOU?! 40 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:50,860 YOUR ANSWERING SERVICE! WAS THAT YOU?! YEAH! 41 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,862 WAS THAT YOU?! YEAH! DID THE LOTION WORK OKAY? 42 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:53,963 YEAH! DID THE LOTION WORK OKAY? OH, YEAH! THANK YOU! 43 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:54,797 DID THE LOTION WORK OKAY? OH, YEAH! THANK YOU! OKAY, THEN. 44 00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:55,732 OH, YEAH! THANK YOU! OKAY, THEN. NO PROBLEM, THEN. 45 00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:56,633 OKAY, THEN. NO PROBLEM, THEN. RIGHT, RIGHT. 46 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:57,834 NO PROBLEM, THEN. RIGHT, RIGHT. HEY, UH, LISTEN. 47 00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,403 RIGHT, RIGHT. HEY, UH, LISTEN. THIS GIRL LIKES TO CRASH EARLY. 48 00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,038 HEY, UH, LISTEN. THIS GIRL LIKES TO CRASH EARLY. SO, MAYBE I COULD COME OVER TO 49 00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:02,572 THIS GIRL LIKES TO CRASH EARLY. SO, MAYBE I COULD COME OVER TO YOUR PLACE ABOUT, UH, THREE? 50 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:03,773 SO, MAYBE I COULD COME OVER TO YOUR PLACE ABOUT, UH, THREE? SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 51 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,242 YOUR PLACE ABOUT, UH, THREE? SOMETHING LIKE THAT? THREE? 52 00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,177 SOMETHING LIKE THAT? THREE? UH... WELL, OKAY, OKAY. 53 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,278 THREE? UH... WELL, OKAY, OKAY. OKAY, GREAT! 54 00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,612 UH... WELL, OKAY, OKAY. OKAY, GREAT! HEY, CIAO, BABY! 55 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:11,348 OKAY, GREAT! HEY, CIAO, BABY! [CHUCKLES] 56 00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,517 HEY, CIAO, BABY! [CHUCKLES] "CIAO, BABY?" 57 00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:15,585 [CHUCKLES] "CIAO, BABY?" HEY, COMPADRES, MUCHACHOS! 58 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,320 "CIAO, BABY?" HEY, COMPADRES, MUCHACHOS! HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDIES? 59 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,122 HEY, COMPADRES, MUCHACHOS! HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDIES? WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE... 60 00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:20,823 HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDIES? WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE... MR. BIG-TIME SHOW BUSINESS 61 00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:21,558 WELL, LOOK WHO'S HERE... MR. BIG-TIME SHOW BUSINESS HIMSELF! 62 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:22,959 MR. BIG-TIME SHOW BUSINESS HIMSELF! YEAH, MR. HOST OF 63 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,294 HIMSELF! YEAH, MR. HOST OF "THE TONIGHT SHOW." 64 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,362 YEAH, MR. HOST OF "THE TONIGHT SHOW." GUEST HOST. 65 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,230 "THE TONIGHT SHOW." GUEST HOST. GUEST HOST ONCE... BIG DEAL. 66 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,765 GUEST HOST. GUEST HOST ONCE... BIG DEAL. STEVE, UH, I WASN'T HERE THE 67 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,233 GUEST HOST ONCE... BIG DEAL. STEVE, UH, I WASN'T HERE THE LAST TIME YOU DID THE SHOW, BUT 68 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,734 STEVE, UH, I WASN'T HERE THE LAST TIME YOU DID THE SHOW, BUT FROM WHAT I HEAR, I DON'T THINK 69 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:32,769 LAST TIME YOU DID THE SHOW, BUT FROM WHAT I HEAR, I DON'T THINK I LIKE YOU TOO MUCH. 70 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,571 FROM WHAT I HEAR, I DON'T THINK I LIKE YOU TOO MUCH. HEY, UH, WHAT'S TROUBLING YOU 71 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,072 I LIKE YOU TOO MUCH. HEY, UH, WHAT'S TROUBLING YOU GUYS? 72 00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,039 HEY, UH, WHAT'S TROUBLING YOU GUYS? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 73 00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:37,307 GUYS? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I MEAN, I COME OUT HERE TO DO 74 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,575 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? I MEAN, I COME OUT HERE TO DO THE SHOW, AND YOU ACT LIKE I'M 75 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:39,842 I MEAN, I COME OUT HERE TO DO THE SHOW, AND YOU ACT LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF JACK THE RIPPER. 76 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:40,510 THE SHOW, AND YOU ACT LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF JACK THE RIPPER. WHAT'S THE DEAL? 77 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:41,578 SOME KIND OF JACK THE RIPPER. WHAT'S THE DEAL? WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH 78 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:41,978 WHAT'S THE DEAL? WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH HERE? 79 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:42,912 WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH HERE? OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU. 80 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,647 HERE? OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU. WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO 81 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:45,215 OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU. WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO GILDA. 82 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:47,016 WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO GILDA. WE THINK YOU GOT OFF PRETTY 83 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:47,517 GILDA. WE THINK YOU GOT OFF PRETTY EASY. 84 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:48,785 WE THINK YOU GOT OFF PRETTY EASY. HEY, IS THAT ALL? 85 00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,153 EASY. HEY, IS THAT ALL? COME ON, YOU GUYS ARE GUYS! 86 00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:51,555 HEY, IS THAT ALL? COME ON, YOU GUYS ARE GUYS! YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT JEALOUS! 87 00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,223 COME ON, YOU GUYS ARE GUYS! YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT JEALOUS! HEY, MAN, THAT HAS NOTHING TO 88 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:54,191 YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT JEALOUS! HEY, MAN, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, MAN! 89 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,059 HEY, MAN, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, MAN! YOU'VE RUINED THE REPUTATION OF 90 00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,228 DO WITH IT, MAN! YOU'VE RUINED THE REPUTATION OF A NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME 91 00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,263 YOU'VE RUINED THE REPUTATION OF A NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYER, BABY. 92 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:05,368 A NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYER, BABY. WELL, EXCU-U-U-U-U-SE ME! 93 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,437 PLAYER, BABY. WELL, EXCU-U-U-U-U-SE ME! I'M GONNA RIP HIS FACE OFF!! 94 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,638 WELL, EXCU-U-U-U-U-SE ME! I'M GONNA RIP HIS FACE OFF!! I SWEAR TO GOD!! 95 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,140 I'M GONNA RIP HIS FACE OFF!! I SWEAR TO GOD!! HE'S GOT A SHOW TO DO, MAN! 96 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,674 I SWEAR TO GOD!! HE'S GOT A SHOW TO DO, MAN! YOU GET HIM BLOODY, WE'LL RUIN 97 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:12,842 HE'S GOT A SHOW TO DO, MAN! YOU GET HIM BLOODY, WE'LL RUIN HIS PRETTY COAT, OKAY? 98 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,244 YOU GET HIM BLOODY, WE'LL RUIN HIS PRETTY COAT, OKAY? HEY, LET ME TELL YOU GUYS 99 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:14,877 HIS PRETTY COAT, OKAY? HEY, LET ME TELL YOU GUYS SOMETHING. 100 00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,346 HEY, LET ME TELL YOU GUYS SOMETHING. I COME DOWN HERE, I'M GOING ON 101 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:17,847 SOMETHING. I COME DOWN HERE, I'M GOING ON THE AIR AND EVERYTHING, AND YOU 102 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,249 I COME DOWN HERE, I'M GOING ON THE AIR AND EVERYTHING, AND YOU COME OUT HERE AND TRY TO MAKE IT 103 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:20,683 THE AIR AND EVERYTHING, AND YOU COME OUT HERE AND TRY TO MAKE IT LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF BAD GUY OR 104 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,251 COME OUT HERE AND TRY TO MAKE IT LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF BAD GUY OR SOMETHING. 105 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,352 LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF BAD GUY OR SOMETHING. I JUST HAD A LONG, LONG, 106 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,686 SOMETHING. I JUST HAD A LONG, LONG, PERSONAL TALK WITH GILDA, KIND 107 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:24,954 I JUST HAD A LONG, LONG, PERSONAL TALK WITH GILDA, KIND OF SMOOTH THINGS OVER, OKAY? 108 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:25,555 PERSONAL TALK WITH GILDA, KIND OF SMOOTH THINGS OVER, OKAY? SO, LOOK. 109 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,157 OF SMOOTH THINGS OVER, OKAY? SO, LOOK. I DON'T NEED YOU, AND YOU DON'T 110 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:27,724 SO, LOOK. I DON'T NEED YOU, AND YOU DON'T NEED ME! 111 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:28,891 I DON'T NEED YOU, AND YOU DON'T NEED ME! I'M GONNA TAKE A HIKE! 112 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:29,792 NEED ME! I'M GONNA TAKE A HIKE! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? 113 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,594 I'M GONNA TAKE A HIKE! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? I'M A RAMBLIN' GUY. 114 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:31,461 HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? I'M A RAMBLIN' GUY. I THINK I'LL RAMBLE! 115 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,729 I'M A RAMBLIN' GUY. I THINK I'LL RAMBLE! HEY, GOOD LUCK WITH THE OPENING, 116 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:33,163 I THINK I'LL RAMBLE! HEY, GOOD LUCK WITH THE OPENING, BELUSHI! 117 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:33,830 HEY, GOOD LUCK WITH THE OPENING, BELUSHI! BE SEEING YOU! 118 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,064 BELUSHI! BE SEEING YOU! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE 119 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,233 BE SEEING YOU! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL YOU DO THAT OPENING. 120 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,967 YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL YOU DO THAT OPENING. HEY, NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO 121 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:38,335 UNTIL YOU DO THAT OPENING. HEY, NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! 122 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:39,503 HEY, NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! YEAH?! 123 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:41,271 DO! YEAH?! NOW SAY IT, PAL! 124 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,439 YEAH?! NOW SAY IT, PAL! I'M NOT GONNA SAY IT! 125 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:43,306 NOW SAY IT, PAL! I'M NOT GONNA SAY IT! SAY IT! 126 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,308 I'M NOT GONNA SAY IT! SAY IT! LIVE, FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 127 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,909 SAY IT! LIVE, FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! 128 00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:48,278 LIVE, FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! [BAND PLAYS] 129 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:51,236 "SATURDAY NIGHT"! [BAND PLAYS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 130 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:51,062 Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, STEVE MARTIN. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 131 00:04:07,079 --> 00:04:13,630 HEY, WE'RE HAVING SOME FUN NOW, EH, KIDS? [LAUGHTER] 132 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,932 NOW, EH, KIDS? [LAUGHTER] EXCUSE ME. 133 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,800 [LAUGHTER] EXCUSE ME. SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET 134 00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,336 EXCUSE ME. SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET SOME ON YOU THERE. 135 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,038 SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET SOME ON YOU THERE. WE'RE HAVING SOME FUN... HEY! 136 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,240 SOME ON YOU THERE. WE'RE HAVING SOME FUN... HEY! EXCUSE ME. 137 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:27,043 WE'RE HAVING SOME FUN... HEY! EXCUSE ME. ALL RIGHT! 138 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,678 EXCUSE ME. ALL RIGHT! HEY, YOU GET TO SEE A SHOW. 139 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,913 ALL RIGHT! HEY, YOU GET TO SEE A SHOW. ALL I HAVE ARE MEMORIES. 140 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,482 HEY, YOU GET TO SEE A SHOW. ALL I HAVE ARE MEMORIES. I PAID 900 BUCKS FOR THIS. 141 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,816 ALL I HAVE ARE MEMORIES. I PAID 900 BUCKS FOR THIS. THAT TOO MUCH? 142 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,718 I PAID 900 BUCKS FOR THIS. THAT TOO MUCH? I DON'T KNOW. 143 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:35,952 THAT TOO MUCH? I DON'T KNOW. OKAY. 144 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:36,919 I DON'T KNOW. OKAY. WE'RE MOVING! 145 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,020 OKAY. WE'RE MOVING! I TELL YOU WHAT. 146 00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:40,357 WE'RE MOVING! I TELL YOU WHAT. LET'S RIP THE PLACE APART! 147 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,791 I TELL YOU WHAT. LET'S RIP THE PLACE APART! SORRY, FOLKS. 148 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,360 LET'S RIP THE PLACE APART! SORRY, FOLKS. OKAY, WE'LL BE STARTING IN JUST 149 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:44,193 SORRY, FOLKS. OKAY, WE'LL BE STARTING IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS. 150 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:45,662 OKAY, WE'LL BE STARTING IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS. JUST WAITING FOR THE DRUGS TO 151 00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:46,329 A FEW MOMENTS. JUST WAITING FOR THE DRUGS TO TAKE EFFECT. 152 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,732 JUST WAITING FOR THE DRUGS TO TAKE EFFECT. AND THEN... 153 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:49,699 TAKE EFFECT. AND THEN... AH! 154 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,501 AND THEN... AH! OKAY, THERE WE GO! 155 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:52,068 AH! OKAY, THERE WE GO! UH-OH! 156 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,170 OKAY, THERE WE GO! UH-OH! I'M GETTING HAPPY FEET! 157 00:04:54,194 --> 00:05:01,244 UH-OH! I'M GETTING HAPPY FEET! [LAUGHTER] 158 00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:01,878 I'M GETTING HAPPY FEET! [LAUGHTER] EXCUSE ME. 159 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,212 [LAUGHTER] EXCUSE ME. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE THAT 160 00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:03,780 EXCUSE ME. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE THAT HAPPENS. 161 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:04,581 EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE THAT HAPPENS. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT WHEN 162 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,249 HAPPENS. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT WHEN IT... 163 00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:06,716 I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT WHEN IT... SORRY. 164 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,117 IT... SORRY. OKAY, WE'RE MOVING ALONG NOW. 165 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,452 SORRY. OKAY, WE'RE MOVING ALONG NOW. YOU KNOW... OOH! 166 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,589 OKAY, WE'RE MOVING ALONG NOW. YOU KNOW... OOH! [LAUGHTER] 167 00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:14,257 YOU KNOW... OOH! [LAUGHTER] I DON'T LIKE TO GET SERIOUS WITH 168 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,558 [LAUGHTER] I DON'T LIKE TO GET SERIOUS WITH THE OPENING OF THE SHOW. 169 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,093 I DON'T LIKE TO GET SERIOUS WITH THE OPENING OF THE SHOW. YOU PROBABLY HEARD I WAS INTO 170 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,662 THE OPENING OF THE SHOW. YOU PROBABLY HEARD I WAS INTO THE COMEDY THING, BUT I'M KIND 171 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,830 YOU PROBABLY HEARD I WAS INTO THE COMEDY THING, BUT I'M KIND OF GETTING OUT OF THAT NOW AND 172 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,632 THE COMEDY THING, BUT I'M KIND OF GETTING OUT OF THAT NOW AND GETTING MORE INTO MUSIC. 173 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,966 OF GETTING OUT OF THAT NOW AND GETTING MORE INTO MUSIC. I'D LIKE TO OPEN THE SHOW WITH 174 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,168 GETTING MORE INTO MUSIC. I'D LIKE TO OPEN THE SHOW WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE KINDS OF 175 00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:25,602 I'D LIKE TO OPEN THE SHOW WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE KINDS OF TUNES. 176 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:26,770 ONE OF MY FAVORITE KINDS OF TUNES. THIS IS A TRADITIONAL 177 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,838 TUNES. THIS IS A TRADITIONAL AMERICAN INDIAN FOLK SONG. 178 00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,039 THIS IS A TRADITIONAL AMERICAN INDIAN FOLK SONG. NOW I REALIZE WE'RE ON TV. 179 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,374 AMERICAN INDIAN FOLK SONG. NOW I REALIZE WE'RE ON TV. I CAN'T JUST COME OUT HERE AND 180 00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:32,742 NOW I REALIZE WE'RE ON TV. I CAN'T JUST COME OUT HERE AND SING ONE OF THE GREAT TUNES... 181 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,110 I CAN'T JUST COME OUT HERE AND SING ONE OF THE GREAT TUNES... ONE OF MY FAVORITES... AND HAVE 182 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,512 SING ONE OF THE GREAT TUNES... ONE OF MY FAVORITES... AND HAVE PEOPLE GET INTO IT THE SAME WAY 183 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:35,978 ONE OF MY FAVORITES... AND HAVE PEOPLE GET INTO IT THE SAME WAY I HAVE. 184 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,014 PEOPLE GET INTO IT THE SAME WAY I HAVE. SO WHAT I'VE DONE, I'VE JAZZED 185 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,816 I HAVE. SO WHAT I'VE DONE, I'VE JAZZED IT UP A LITTLE BIT FOR TV. 186 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,883 SO WHAT I'VE DONE, I'VE JAZZED IT UP A LITTLE BIT FOR TV. BASICALLY, I KEPT IT VERY 187 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,185 IT UP A LITTLE BIT FOR TV. BASICALLY, I KEPT IT VERY TRADITIONAL, BUT I THINK YOU'RE 188 00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:42,919 BASICALLY, I KEPT IT VERY TRADITIONAL, BUT I THINK YOU'RE GONNA DIG THIS. 189 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:47,390 TRADITIONAL, BUT I THINK YOU'RE GONNA DIG THIS. SO HERE WE GO. 190 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:50,215 GONNA DIG THIS. SO HERE WE GO. [CHANTING] 191 00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:06,424 ♪ WHOA WHOA WHOA ♪ [CHANTING] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 192 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,749 [CHANTING] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ LITTLE GIRL ♪ 193 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,351 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ LITTLE GIRL ♪ OKAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! 194 00:06:14,375 --> 00:06:16,519 ♪ LITTLE GIRL ♪ OKAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! THANK YOU. 195 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:21,023 OKAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! THANK YOU. [APPLAUSE] 196 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,526 THANK YOU. [APPLAUSE] EXCUSE ME! 197 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,061 [APPLAUSE] EXCUSE ME! I FEEL GOOD TONIGHT, BECAUSE 198 00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,763 EXCUSE ME! I FEEL GOOD TONIGHT, BECAUSE WELL, I'VE FINALLY GOT A GOAL IN 199 00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:28,331 I FEEL GOOD TONIGHT, BECAUSE WELL, I'VE FINALLY GOT A GOAL IN LIFE, AND THAT'S WHAT PLEASES 200 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,932 WELL, I'VE FINALLY GOT A GOAL IN LIFE, AND THAT'S WHAT PLEASES ME, TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A GOAL, 201 00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,501 LIFE, AND THAT'S WHAT PLEASES ME, TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A GOAL, AND THIS IS WHY I'M SO HAPPY, 202 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,169 ME, TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A GOAL, AND THIS IS WHY I'M SO HAPPY, BECAUSE, SEE, IT'S IMPORTANT... 203 00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:34,804 AND THIS IS WHY I'M SO HAPPY, BECAUSE, SEE, IT'S IMPORTANT... THE THING YOU HAVE TO LEARN, IN 204 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,473 BECAUSE, SEE, IT'S IMPORTANT... THE THING YOU HAVE TO LEARN, IN HAVING A GOAL, IS NOT TO SET AN 205 00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,074 THE THING YOU HAVE TO LEARN, IN HAVING A GOAL, IS NOT TO SET AN IMPOSSIBLE GOAL, SOMETHING TOO 206 00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,442 HAVING A GOAL, IS NOT TO SET AN IMPOSSIBLE GOAL, SOMETHING TOO HIGH YOU CAN NEVER REACH. 207 00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:40,877 IMPOSSIBLE GOAL, SOMETHING TOO HIGH YOU CAN NEVER REACH. YOU GOT TO HAVE A SERIES OF 208 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,245 HIGH YOU CAN NEVER REACH. YOU GOT TO HAVE A SERIES OF SMALLER GOALS THAT YOU CAN 209 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:43,747 YOU GOT TO HAVE A SERIES OF SMALLER GOALS THAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH AND SLOWLY WORK YOUR 210 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:44,247 SMALLER GOALS THAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH AND SLOWLY WORK YOUR WAY UP. 211 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,416 ACCOMPLISH AND SLOWLY WORK YOUR WAY UP. AND THIS IS WHAT I HAVE DONE. 212 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,317 WAY UP. AND THIS IS WHAT I HAVE DONE. THAT'S WHY I'M SO HAPPY. 213 00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,687 AND THIS IS WHAT I HAVE DONE. THAT'S WHY I'M SO HAPPY. MY GOAL... RIGHT NOW, I WANT TO 214 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:53,122 THAT'S WHY I'M SO HAPPY. MY GOAL... RIGHT NOW, I WANT TO BE THE ALL-BEING MASTER OF TIME, 215 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,424 MY GOAL... RIGHT NOW, I WANT TO BE THE ALL-BEING MASTER OF TIME, SPACE, AND DIMENSION. 216 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,092 BE THE ALL-BEING MASTER OF TIME, SPACE, AND DIMENSION. [LAUGHTER] 217 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,794 SPACE, AND DIMENSION. [LAUGHTER] THEN, I WANT TO GO TO EUROPE, I 218 00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:00,263 [LAUGHTER] THEN, I WANT TO GO TO EUROPE, I THINK. 219 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:02,599 THEN, I WANT TO GO TO EUROPE, I THINK. I MENTIONED EARLIER IN THE SHOW 220 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,967 THINK. I MENTIONED EARLIER IN THE SHOW THE DRUG JOKE, AND I HATE TO DO 221 00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,370 I MENTIONED EARLIER IN THE SHOW THE DRUG JOKE, AND I HATE TO DO THAT, 'CAUSE IT CREATES A MESS, 222 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,439 THE DRUG JOKE, AND I HATE TO DO THAT, 'CAUSE IT CREATES A MESS, AND I'M NOT INTO DRUGS ANYMORE. 223 00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:11,374 THAT, 'CAUSE IT CREATES A MESS, AND I'M NOT INTO DRUGS ANYMORE. I QUIT COMPLETELY, AND I HATE 224 00:07:11,398 --> 00:07:13,276 AND I'M NOT INTO DRUGS ANYMORE. I QUIT COMPLETELY, AND I HATE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL INTO IT. 225 00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,478 I QUIT COMPLETELY, AND I HATE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL INTO IT. BUT I DO TAKE ONE DRUG NOW, FOR 226 00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,580 PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL INTO IT. BUT I DO TAKE ONE DRUG NOW, FOR FUN, AND MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD OF 227 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,080 BUT I DO TAKE ONE DRUG NOW, FOR FUN, AND MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD OF IT. 228 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:18,981 FUN, AND MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD OF IT. IT'S A NEW THING. 229 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,483 IT. IT'S A NEW THING. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE OR NOT. 230 00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:21,384 IT'S A NEW THING. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE OR NOT. IT'S A NEW THING. 231 00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:24,053 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE OR NOT. IT'S A NEW THING. IT MAKES YOU SMALL... ABOUT THIS 232 00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,755 IT'S A NEW THING. IT MAKES YOU SMALL... ABOUT THIS BIG. 233 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,023 IT MAKES YOU SMALL... ABOUT THIS BIG. AND, YOU KNOW, I'LL BE HOME, 234 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,291 BIG. AND, YOU KNOW, I'LL BE HOME, SITTING WITH MY FRIENDS, AND 235 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,559 AND, YOU KNOW, I'LL BE HOME, SITTING WITH MY FRIENDS, AND WE'LL BE SITTING AROUND, AND 236 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:34,564 SITTING WITH MY FRIENDS, AND WE'LL BE SITTING AROUND, AND SOMEBODY WILL SAY, "HEY... 237 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,399 WE'LL BE SITTING AROUND, AND SOMEBODY WILL SAY, "HEY... LET'S GET SMALL." 238 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:39,201 SOMEBODY WILL SAY, "HEY... LET'S GET SMALL." [LAUGHTER] 239 00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:41,270 LET'S GET SMALL." [LAUGHTER] SO, YOU KNOW, WE GET SMALL, AND 240 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,239 [LAUGHTER] SO, YOU KNOW, WE GET SMALL, AND THE ONLY BAD THING IS IF SOME 241 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:46,108 SO, YOU KNOW, WE GET SMALL, AND THE ONLY BAD THING IS IF SOME TALL PEOPLE COME OVER. 242 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,143 THE ONLY BAD THING IS IF SOME TALL PEOPLE COME OVER. YOU'RE WALKING AROUND GOING, 243 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,611 TALL PEOPLE COME OVER. YOU'RE WALKING AROUND GOING, "HUH-HUH-HUH." 244 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,279 YOU'RE WALKING AROUND GOING, "HUH-HUH-HUH." NOW I KNOW I SHOULDN'T GET SMALL 245 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,280 "HUH-HUH-HUH." NOW I KNOW I SHOULDN'T GET SMALL WHEN I'M DRIVING. 246 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,316 NOW I KNOW I SHOULDN'T GET SMALL WHEN I'M DRIVING. [LAUGHTER] 247 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,350 WHEN I'M DRIVING. [LAUGHTER] BUT I WAS DRIVING AROUND THE 248 00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:55,384 [LAUGHTER] BUT I WAS DRIVING AROUND THE OTHER DAY, AND I SAID, "WHAT THE 249 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:55,852 BUT I WAS DRIVING AROUND THE OTHER DAY, AND I SAID, "WHAT THE HECK?" 250 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:56,319 OTHER DAY, AND I SAID, "WHAT THE HECK?" YOU KNOW? 251 00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:57,219 HECK?" YOU KNOW? SO I'M DRIVING, GOING... 252 00:07:57,243 --> 00:08:01,724 YOU KNOW? SO I'M DRIVING, GOING... [LAUGHTER] 253 00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,093 SO I'M DRIVING, GOING... [LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 254 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:10,567 [LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND A COP PULLS ME OVER. 255 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:11,935 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND A COP PULLS ME OVER. AND HE MAKES ME GET OUT. 256 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:13,069 AND A COP PULLS ME OVER. AND HE MAKES ME GET OUT. HE LOOKS AT ME, AND HE SAYS, 257 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,905 AND HE MAKES ME GET OUT. HE LOOKS AT ME, AND HE SAYS, "HEY, ARE YOU SMALL?" 258 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:18,575 HE LOOKS AT ME, AND HE SAYS, "HEY, ARE YOU SMALL?" I SAID, "NO! I'M NOT!" 259 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,876 "HEY, ARE YOU SMALL?" I SAID, "NO! I'M NOT!" HE SAID, "WELL, I'M GONNA HAVE 260 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:20,643 I SAID, "NO! I'M NOT!" HE SAID, "WELL, I'M GONNA HAVE TO MEASURE YOU." 261 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,445 HE SAID, "WELL, I'M GONNA HAVE TO MEASURE YOU." [LAUGHTER] 262 00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,446 TO MEASURE YOU." [LAUGHTER] AND THEY HAVE THIS LITTLE TEST 263 00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:24,013 [LAUGHTER] AND THEY HAVE THIS LITTLE TEST THEY GIVE YOU. 264 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,748 AND THEY HAVE THIS LITTLE TEST THEY GIVE YOU. THEY GIVE YOU A BALLOON. 265 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,718 THEY GIVE YOU. THEY GIVE YOU A BALLOON. AND IF YOU CAN GET INSIDE OF IT, 266 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,487 THEY GIVE YOU A BALLOON. AND IF YOU CAN GET INSIDE OF IT, THEY KNOW YOU'RE SMALL. 267 00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,021 AND IF YOU CAN GET INSIDE OF IT, THEY KNOW YOU'RE SMALL. NOW I'VE ALREADY TALKED IT OVER 268 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:32,856 THEY KNOW YOU'RE SMALL. NOW I'VE ALREADY TALKED IT OVER WITH THE CAST. 269 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,791 NOW I'VE ALREADY TALKED IT OVER WITH THE CAST. THEY'VE BEEN WORKING ALL WEEK. 270 00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:35,892 WITH THE CAST. THEY'VE BEEN WORKING ALL WEEK. IT'S A TOUGH THING TO DO, COME 271 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:36,493 THEY'VE BEEN WORKING ALL WEEK. IT'S A TOUGH THING TO DO, COME OUT HERE LIVE. 272 00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:38,327 IT'S A TOUGH THING TO DO, COME OUT HERE LIVE. IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SHOW, 273 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,364 OUT HERE LIVE. IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SHOW, WE'RE ALL GONNA GO OUT AND GET 274 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,867 IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SHOW, WE'RE ALL GONNA GO OUT AND GET REALLY SMALL! 275 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,134 WE'RE ALL GONNA GO OUT AND GET REALLY SMALL! OKAY, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW 276 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:45,668 REALLY SMALL! OKAY, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT. 277 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:46,803 OKAY, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT. LILY TOMLIN, SPECIAL GUEST. 278 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,104 TONIGHT. LILY TOMLIN, SPECIAL GUEST. THE KINKS. 279 00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,139 LILY TOMLIN, SPECIAL GUEST. THE KINKS. AND THE NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME 280 00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,273 THE KINKS. AND THE NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS... JOHN BELUSHI, 281 00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:52,475 AND THE NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS... JOHN BELUSHI, DAN AYKROYD, GARRETT... 282 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:53,242 PLAYERS... JOHN BELUSHI, DAN AYKROYD, GARRETT... SO, WE'LL BE BACK IN JUST A 283 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:53,676 DAN AYKROYD, GARRETT... SO, WE'LL BE BACK IN JUST A MOMENT. 284 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:54,410 SO, WE'LL BE BACK IN JUST A MOMENT. THANKS A LOT! 285 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:55,612 MOMENT. THANKS A LOT! GOOD NIGHT! 286 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,369 THANKS A LOT! GOOD NIGHT! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 287 00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:20,469 GOOD MORNING, DEAR. HOW WAS YOUR SLEEP PHASE? SUFFICIENT! 288 00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:21,237 HOW WAS YOUR SLEEP PHASE? SUFFICIENT! AND YOURS? 289 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,806 SUFFICIENT! AND YOURS? I DREAMT OF THE GELATIN POOLS 290 00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,642 AND YOURS? I DREAMT OF THE GELATIN POOLS ON OUR HOME PLANET, REMULAK. 291 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:26,475 I DREAMT OF THE GELATIN POOLS ON OUR HOME PLANET, REMULAK. [BLARING] 292 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,277 ON OUR HOME PLANET, REMULAK. [BLARING] MMM... YOU HAVE STIMULATED ME! 293 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,779 [BLARING] MMM... YOU HAVE STIMULATED ME! LET US RETURN TO THE SLEEP 294 00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,848 MMM... YOU HAVE STIMULATED ME! LET US RETURN TO THE SLEEP CHAMBER IMMEDIATELY! 295 00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:34,918 LET US RETURN TO THE SLEEP CHAMBER IMMEDIATELY! GOOD MORNING, PARENTAL UNITS. 296 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,419 CHAMBER IMMEDIATELY! GOOD MORNING, PARENTAL UNITS. I MUST INFORM YOU NOW THAT I 297 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:37,887 GOOD MORNING, PARENTAL UNITS. I MUST INFORM YOU NOW THAT I WILL NOT BE HOME FROM SCHOOL 298 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:38,487 I MUST INFORM YOU NOW THAT I WILL NOT BE HOME FROM SCHOOL TONIGHT. 299 00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:41,090 WILL NOT BE HOME FROM SCHOOL TONIGHT. YOUR CONE! UNACCEPTABLE! 300 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,593 TONIGHT. YOUR CONE! UNACCEPTABLE! UNDESIRABLE! UNACCEPTABLE! 301 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:44,561 YOUR CONE! UNACCEPTABLE! UNDESIRABLE! UNACCEPTABLE! OH, COME ON, DAD! 302 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:45,795 UNDESIRABLE! UNACCEPTABLE! OH, COME ON, DAD! I HAVE ALTERED MY CONE FOR 303 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:46,295 OH, COME ON, DAD! I HAVE ALTERED MY CONE FOR TONIGHT. 304 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,597 I HAVE ALTERED MY CONE FOR TONIGHT. I'M ATTENDING A CONCERT OF A 305 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,831 TONIGHT. I'M ATTENDING A CONCERT OF A POPULAR MUSIC GROUP, CALLED 306 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:49,899 I'M ATTENDING A CONCERT OF A POPULAR MUSIC GROUP, CALLED PETER FRAMPTON. 307 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,601 POPULAR MUSIC GROUP, CALLED PETER FRAMPTON. FOR SOME REASON, I AM THE ONLY 308 00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,135 PETER FRAMPTON. FOR SOME REASON, I AM THE ONLY GIRL WHO CAN GET BACKSTAGE. 309 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,537 FOR SOME REASON, I AM THE ONLY GIRL WHO CAN GET BACKSTAGE. I CANNOT COMPREHEND THOSE 310 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,005 GIRL WHO CAN GET BACKSTAGE. I CANNOT COMPREHEND THOSE IRREGULAR SOUND PATTERNS THAT 311 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:56,639 I CANNOT COMPREHEND THOSE IRREGULAR SOUND PATTERNS THAT YOU ENJOY. 312 00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,207 IRREGULAR SOUND PATTERNS THAT YOU ENJOY. NOW, THE VIBRA ORBS OF 313 00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:00,009 YOU ENJOY. NOW, THE VIBRA ORBS OF REMULAK... THAT WAS MUSIC. 314 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:04,213 NOW, THE VIBRA ORBS OF REMULAK... THAT WAS MUSIC. YES. 315 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,282 REMULAK... THAT WAS MUSIC. YES. OH, DADDY, I HATE SCHOOL SO 316 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:06,883 YES. OH, DADDY, I HATE SCHOOL SO MUCH. 317 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,551 OH, DADDY, I HATE SCHOOL SO MUCH. I HAVE ABSORBED ALL THE 318 00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,086 MUCH. I HAVE ABSORBED ALL THE KNOWLEDGE THERE IS TO KNOW. 319 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,688 I HAVE ABSORBED ALL THE KNOWLEDGE THERE IS TO KNOW. WHEN WILL THE STAR CRUISERS COME 320 00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,056 KNOWLEDGE THERE IS TO KNOW. WHEN WILL THE STAR CRUISERS COME TO TAKE US OFF THIS PLANET? 321 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,223 WHEN WILL THE STAR CRUISERS COME TO TAKE US OFF THIS PLANET? HEAR ME, YOUNG ONE. 322 00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:15,224 HEAR ME, YOUNG ONE. YOU ARE PRIVILEGED. 323 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,525 YOU ARE PRIVILEGED. WHEN I WAS A SMALL CONE, MY 324 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:17,860 WHEN I WAS A SMALL CONE, MY FAMILY LIVED IN AN ISOLATED 325 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:18,427 FAMILY LIVED IN AN ISOLATED QUADRANT. 326 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,597 QUADRANT. I HAD TO WALK TEN DEXTRONS, 327 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,932 I HAD TO WALK TEN DEXTRONS, KNEE-DEEP IN FARLITE CRYSTALS 328 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,968 KNEE-DEEP IN FARLITE CRYSTALS EACH DAY, TO A LITTLE, RED 329 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,736 EACH DAY, TO A LITTLE, RED ONE-ROOM DATA CENTER! 330 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,170 ONE-ROOM DATA CENTER! I'LL NEVER FORGET MY FIRST 331 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:29,505 I'LL NEVER FORGET MY FIRST PROGRAMMER, MISS MORLAX. 332 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:30,840 PROGRAMMER, MISS MORLAX. I WONDER IF HER LIFE FUNCTIONS 333 00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:31,774 I WONDER IF HER LIFE FUNCTIONS ARE STILL ACTIVE. 334 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:35,177 ARE STILL ACTIVE. [DOORBELL RINGS] I HAVE TO SPLIT. 335 00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,512 [DOORBELL RINGS] I HAVE TO SPLIT. I WILL RESPOND TO THE DOOR 336 00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:37,046 I HAVE TO SPLIT. I WILL RESPOND TO THE DOOR SIGNAL. 337 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,347 I WILL RESPOND TO THE DOOR SIGNAL. ALLOW THE HUMAN TO ENTER. 338 00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,582 SIGNAL. ALLOW THE HUMAN TO ENTER. RETURN AT THE PREDETERMINED 339 00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:40,950 ALLOW THE HUMAN TO ENTER. RETURN AT THE PREDETERMINED TIME COORDINATES. 340 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,819 RETURN AT THE PREDETERMINED TIME COORDINATES. I WILL TRY. 341 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:43,853 TIME COORDINATES. I WILL TRY. GREETINGS. ENTER. 342 00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:44,954 I WILL TRY. GREETINGS. ENTER. MY NAME IS CONNIE. 343 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,090 GREETINGS. ENTER. MY NAME IS CONNIE. I THINK YOU'RE CUTE. 344 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,025 MY NAME IS CONNIE. I THINK YOU'RE CUTE. UH, IS THIS THE, UH... 345 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,661 I THINK YOU'RE CUTE. UH, IS THIS THE, UH... CON-ED RESIDENCE? 346 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,896 UH, IS THIS THE, UH... CON-ED RESIDENCE? CONEHEAD! 347 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:54,931 CON-ED RESIDENCE? CONEHEAD! THE NAME IS CONEHEAD! 348 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,666 CONEHEAD! THE NAME IS CONEHEAD! PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELF. 349 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,434 THE NAME IS CONEHEAD! PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELF. I'M ELI TURNBULL OF THE 350 00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:00,169 PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELF. I'M ELI TURNBULL OF THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE. 351 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,138 I'M ELI TURNBULL OF THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE. I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS I HAVE TO 352 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,139 INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE. I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS I HAVE TO ASK YOU HERE. 353 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,406 I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS I HAVE TO ASK YOU HERE. VERY WELL. SIT! 354 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:05,875 ASK YOU HERE. VERY WELL. SIT! YOU SEE, MR. CONEHEAD, 355 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,710 VERY WELL. SIT! YOU SEE, MR. CONEHEAD, ACCORDING TO OUR RECORDS, YOU'VE 356 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,946 YOU SEE, MR. CONEHEAD, ACCORDING TO OUR RECORDS, YOU'VE ONLY, UM... 357 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:12,015 ACCORDING TO OUR RECORDS, YOU'VE ONLY, UM... YOU'VE ONLY BEEN FILING SINCE 358 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,349 ONLY, UM... YOU'VE ONLY BEEN FILING SINCE 1968. 359 00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,818 YOU'VE ONLY BEEN FILING SINCE 1968. AHH! 360 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:20,823 1968. AHH! THE MORNING MEAL! 361 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:26,262 AHH! THE MORNING MEAL! SHREDDED SWINE FLESH... 362 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:32,769 THE MORNING MEAL! SHREDDED SWINE FLESH... AND FRIED CHICKEN EMBRYOS. 363 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,170 SHREDDED SWINE FLESH... AND FRIED CHICKEN EMBRYOS. BEER. 364 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,840 AND FRIED CHICKEN EMBRYOS. BEER. DRY CITRUS. 365 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:43,512 BEER. DRY CITRUS. BACON AND EGGS. 366 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,705 DRY CITRUS. BACON AND EGGS. MMM... 367 00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:06,669 I... I GUESS YOU FOLKS ARE REALLY INTO BREAKFAST! VISITOR, WE ADVISE YOU TO 368 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,637 REALLY INTO BREAKFAST! VISITOR, WE ADVISE YOU TO CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES OF FOOD. 369 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,306 VISITOR, WE ADVISE YOU TO CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES OF FOOD. HEY, HEY, THAT'S OKAY. 370 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,108 CONSUME MASS QUANTITIES OF FOOD. HEY, HEY, THAT'S OKAY. MR. AND MRS. CONEHEAD, I'M JUST 371 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,710 HEY, HEY, THAT'S OKAY. MR. AND MRS. CONEHEAD, I'M JUST TRYING TO SORT OUT YOUR TAX 372 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,011 MR. AND MRS. CONEHEAD, I'M JUST TRYING TO SORT OUT YOUR TAX SITUATION BEFORE '68. 373 00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,445 TRYING TO SORT OUT YOUR TAX SITUATION BEFORE '68. NOW, FOR THE LAST NINE YEARS, 374 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:17,880 SITUATION BEFORE '68. NOW, FOR THE LAST NINE YEARS, YOU'VE ONLY BEEN FILING UNDER 375 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,983 NOW, FOR THE LAST NINE YEARS, YOU'VE ONLY BEEN FILING UNDER THE NAME "MR. AND 376 00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:22,218 YOU'VE ONLY BEEN FILING UNDER THE NAME "MR. AND MRS. CONEHEAD." 377 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,720 THE NAME "MR. AND MRS. CONEHEAD." DO YOU HAVE A FIRST NAME? 378 00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:25,588 MRS. CONEHEAD." DO YOU HAVE A FIRST NAME? I AM BELDAR! 379 00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,190 DO YOU HAVE A FIRST NAME? I AM BELDAR! I AM PRYMAAT! 380 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:28,591 I AM BELDAR! I AM PRYMAAT! OKAY. 381 00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:31,493 I AM PRYMAAT! OKAY. "BELDAR CONEHEAD." 382 00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:32,095 OKAY. "BELDAR CONEHEAD." THAT'S GREAT. 383 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,029 "BELDAR CONEHEAD." THAT'S GREAT. NOW IT SAYS HERE YOU'RE 384 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:33,930 THAT'S GREAT. NOW IT SAYS HERE YOU'RE CURRENTLY EMPLOYED AS A 385 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:34,964 NOW IT SAYS HERE YOU'RE CURRENTLY EMPLOYED AS A DRIVING-SCHOOL INSTRUCTOR? 386 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:38,534 CURRENTLY EMPLOYED AS A DRIVING-SCHOOL INSTRUCTOR? CORRECT. 387 00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,636 DRIVING-SCHOOL INSTRUCTOR? CORRECT. HEY, ISN'T THIS THE DRINK THE 388 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,538 CORRECT. HEY, ISN'T THIS THE DRINK THE ASTRONAUTS TOOK TO THE MOON? 389 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:43,706 HEY, ISN'T THIS THE DRINK THE ASTRONAUTS TOOK TO THE MOON? Both: ASTRONAUTS TO THE 390 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:44,140 ASTRONAUTS TOOK TO THE MOON? Both: ASTRONAUTS TO THE MOON?! 391 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,476 Both: ASTRONAUTS TO THE MOON?! HA HA HA HA HA!! 392 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,912 MOON?! HA HA HA HA HA!! YEAH. 393 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,547 HA HA HA HA HA!! YEAH. OKAY, NOW, FROM '68 TO '70, YOU 394 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:52,581 YEAH. OKAY, NOW, FROM '68 TO '70, YOU WERE LIVING AT THE 395 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,117 OKAY, NOW, FROM '68 TO '70, YOU WERE LIVING AT THE BURDETTE FALLS SEASON TRAILER 396 00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:55,284 WERE LIVING AT THE BURDETTE FALLS SEASON TRAILER PARK IN MOLINE, OHIO? 397 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,853 BURDETTE FALLS SEASON TRAILER PARK IN MOLINE, OHIO? IOWA. CORRECT. 398 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:57,820 PARK IN MOLINE, OHIO? IOWA. CORRECT. OKAY, NOW ABOUT THESE 399 00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:58,821 IOWA. CORRECT. OKAY, NOW ABOUT THESE DEDUCTIONS FOR LAST YEAR. 400 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,556 OKAY, NOW ABOUT THESE DEDUCTIONS FOR LAST YEAR. YOU CLAIMED $2,000 FOR STOCKING 401 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:04,794 DEDUCTIONS FOR LAST YEAR. YOU CLAIMED $2,000 FOR STOCKING CAPS, $7,000 FOR BEER, AND 402 00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,863 YOU CLAIMED $2,000 FOR STOCKING CAPS, $7,000 FOR BEER, AND $2,000 FOR TITANIUM. 403 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,330 CAPS, $7,000 FOR BEER, AND $2,000 FOR TITANIUM. WHAT IS TITANIUM, ANYWAY? 404 00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,698 $2,000 FOR TITANIUM. WHAT IS TITANIUM, ANYWAY? THE MOST DURABLE METAL KNOWN 405 00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:10,299 WHAT IS TITANIUM, ANYWAY? THE MOST DURABLE METAL KNOWN TO MANKIND. 406 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,667 THE MOST DURABLE METAL KNOWN TO MANKIND. WE NEED IT TO SURVIVE. 407 00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,369 TO MANKIND. WE NEED IT TO SURVIVE. OKAY, FINE. 408 00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,905 WE NEED IT TO SURVIVE. OKAY, FINE. NOW MY MAIN QUESTION IS... WHERE 409 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:17,673 OKAY, FINE. NOW MY MAIN QUESTION IS... WHERE WERE YOU BEFORE 1968? 410 00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:19,275 NOW MY MAIN QUESTION IS... WHERE WERE YOU BEFORE 1968? WE HAD NOT YET LANDED ON 411 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,210 WERE YOU BEFORE 1968? WE HAD NOT YET LANDED ON THIS... IN THIS COUNTRY. 412 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,044 WE HAD NOT YET LANDED ON THIS... IN THIS COUNTRY. OH, I SEE. 413 00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:23,479 THIS... IN THIS COUNTRY. OH, I SEE. THEN, YOU'RE NOT FROM THIS 414 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:24,413 OH, I SEE. THEN, YOU'RE NOT FROM THIS COUNTRY. 415 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,382 THEN, YOU'RE NOT FROM THIS COUNTRY. YOU'RE ILLEGAL ALIENS. 416 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,484 COUNTRY. YOU'RE ILLEGAL ALIENS. YES! WE COME FROM FRANCE! 417 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,385 YOU'RE ILLEGAL ALIENS. YES! WE COME FROM FRANCE! FRANCE! 418 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:30,853 YES! WE COME FROM FRANCE! FRANCE! WE CAME FROM FRANCE! 419 00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,255 FRANCE! WE CAME FROM FRANCE! SO YOU ARE ALIENS! 420 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:33,622 WE CAME FROM FRANCE! SO YOU ARE ALIENS! THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT! 421 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,024 SO YOU ARE ALIENS! THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT! YES, OUR RECORDS WERE LOST 422 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:36,525 THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT! YES, OUR RECORDS WERE LOST WHEN THE CRAFT WHICH BROUGHT US 423 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:37,693 YES, OUR RECORDS WERE LOST WHEN THE CRAFT WHICH BROUGHT US FROM FRANCE PLUNGED INTO 424 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:38,494 WHEN THE CRAFT WHICH BROUGHT US FROM FRANCE PLUNGED INTO LAKE MICHIGAN. 425 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,929 FROM FRANCE PLUNGED INTO LAKE MICHIGAN. WE CRAWLED FROM THE BOTTOM OF 426 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,463 LAKE MICHIGAN. WE CRAWLED FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE LAKE AND LIVED BY NIGHT FOR 427 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,899 WE CRAWLED FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE LAKE AND LIVED BY NIGHT FOR YEARS OFF OUR REMAINING 428 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:45,234 THE LAKE AND LIVED BY NIGHT FOR YEARS OFF OUR REMAINING PROTO-CAPS. 429 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,635 YEARS OFF OUR REMAINING PROTO-CAPS. YEAH. 430 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,469 PROTO-CAPS. YEAH. LISTEN. 431 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,637 YEAH. LISTEN. I THINK I'VE GOT ALL THE 432 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,072 LISTEN. I THINK I'VE GOT ALL THE INFORMATION I NEED RIGHT HERE. 433 00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,841 I THINK I'VE GOT ALL THE INFORMATION I NEED RIGHT HERE. I'M JUST GOING TO TURN THIS OVER 434 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,575 INFORMATION I NEED RIGHT HERE. I'M JUST GOING TO TURN THIS OVER TO MISSING RECORDS, AND THERE'S 435 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:54,343 I'M JUST GOING TO TURN THIS OVER TO MISSING RECORDS, AND THERE'S NO PROBLEM. 436 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,678 TO MISSING RECORDS, AND THERE'S NO PROBLEM. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I KNOW WHERE 437 00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:56,779 NO PROBLEM. YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM, HEY! 438 00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:58,514 YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM, HEY! STOCKING CAPS, TITANIUM, AND 439 00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,482 YOU'RE COMING FROM, HEY! STOCKING CAPS, TITANIUM, AND BEER... WHAT THE HECK, HAPPENS 440 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:01,517 STOCKING CAPS, TITANIUM, AND BEER... WHAT THE HECK, HAPPENS ALL THE TIME! 441 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:02,618 BEER... WHAT THE HECK, HAPPENS ALL THE TIME! SO I'LL BE GOING. 442 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,320 ALL THE TIME! SO I'LL BE GOING. ALL THINGS ARE WOVEN OF THE 443 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,621 SO I'LL BE GOING. ALL THINGS ARE WOVEN OF THE SAME MOLECULAR FIBER! 444 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,557 ALL THINGS ARE WOVEN OF THE SAME MOLECULAR FIBER! THAT'S SO TRUE. 445 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,159 SAME MOLECULAR FIBER! THAT'S SO TRUE. I'M GONNA WRITE THAT DOWN. 446 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,760 THAT'S SO TRUE. I'M GONNA WRITE THAT DOWN. HEY, TAXES ARE NO BIG DEAL, SO, 447 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,729 I'M GONNA WRITE THAT DOWN. HEY, TAXES ARE NO BIG DEAL, SO, UH, YOU CALL US! 448 00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:14,297 HEY, TAXES ARE NO BIG DEAL, SO, UH, YOU CALL US! NO PROBLEM! 449 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,298 UH, YOU CALL US! NO PROBLEM! HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY. 450 00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:16,899 NO PROBLEM! HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY. SOMEDAY, YOU CAN TAKE ME TO 451 00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:17,867 HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY. SOMEDAY, YOU CAN TAKE ME TO YOUR SUPERVISOR. 452 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,102 SOMEDAY, YOU CAN TAKE ME TO YOUR SUPERVISOR. GREAT, GREAT. 453 00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:21,570 YOUR SUPERVISOR. GREAT, GREAT. DO WE HAVE TIME FOR A QUICK 454 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:22,939 GREAT, GREAT. DO WE HAVE TIME FOR A QUICK ONE BEFORE I MUST PREPARE FOR 455 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:23,339 DO WE HAVE TIME FOR A QUICK ONE BEFORE I MUST PREPARE FOR WORK? 456 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:23,772 ONE BEFORE I MUST PREPARE FOR WORK? YES. 457 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:24,773 WORK? YES. LET'S DO IT RIGHT HERE IN THE 458 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:25,274 YES. LET'S DO IT RIGHT HERE IN THE LIVING ROOM. 459 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,598 LET'S DO IT RIGHT HERE IN THE LIVING ROOM. YES, LET'S. 460 00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:43,882 YOU HAVE STIMULATED ME! YOU HAVE STIMULATED ME! YOU HAVE STIMULATED ME! 461 00:14:56,762 --> 00:14:59,563 [PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC] 462 00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:21,185 [SINGING "NUR WER DIE SEHNSUCHT KENNT"] 463 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,812 [OLYMPICS THEME PLAYS] 464 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:10,433 GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY, AND WELCOME TO "CELEBRITY WEIGHT LIFTING." 465 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,068 WELCOME TO "CELEBRITY WEIGHT LIFTING." TONIGHT'S BIG TREAT, OF COURSE, 466 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,235 WEIGHT LIFTING." TONIGHT'S BIG TREAT, OF COURSE, IS THE CLEAN-AND-JERK 467 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,403 TONIGHT'S BIG TREAT, OF COURSE, IS THE CLEAN-AND-JERK COMPETITION FEATURING 468 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,837 IS THE CLEAN-AND-JERK COMPETITION FEATURING VASILIY ALEKSEYEV, THE BIG 469 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,306 COMPETITION FEATURING VASILIY ALEKSEYEV, THE BIG RUSSIAN WHO'S WON THIS EVENT 470 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,707 VASILIY ALEKSEYEV, THE BIG RUSSIAN WHO'S WON THIS EVENT THREE TIMES IN THE OLYMPIC 471 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:19,808 RUSSIAN WHO'S WON THIS EVENT THREE TIMES IN THE OLYMPIC GAMES, THREE GOLDS. 472 00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,043 THREE TIMES IN THE OLYMPIC GAMES, THREE GOLDS. AND HIS OPPONENT TONIGHT WILL BE 473 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,811 GAMES, THREE GOLDS. AND HIS OPPONENT TONIGHT WILL BE JACQUELINE KENNEDY ONASSIS, THE 474 00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,646 AND HIS OPPONENT TONIGHT WILL BE JACQUELINE KENNEDY ONASSIS, THE SOCIALITE AND FORMER FIRST LADY. 475 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,115 JACQUELINE KENNEDY ONASSIS, THE SOCIALITE AND FORMER FIRST LADY. NOW THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT IT 476 00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,649 SOCIALITE AND FORMER FIRST LADY. NOW THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT IT THAT ALEKSEYEV'S AT THE TOP OF 477 00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:28,417 NOW THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT IT THAT ALEKSEYEV'S AT THE TOP OF HIS FORM NOW. 478 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,818 THAT ALEKSEYEV'S AT THE TOP OF HIS FORM NOW. OF COURSE, HE BROKE HIS OWN 479 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,387 HIS FORM NOW. OF COURSE, HE BROKE HIS OWN RECORD LAST YEAR AT MONTREAL IN 480 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,621 OF COURSE, HE BROKE HIS OWN RECORD LAST YEAR AT MONTREAL IN THE OLYMPIC GAMES THERE. 481 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:33,755 RECORD LAST YEAR AT MONTREAL IN THE OLYMPIC GAMES THERE. NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. 482 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,157 THE OLYMPIC GAMES THERE. NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. JACKIE, OF COURSE, HAS BEEN 483 00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:36,325 NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. JACKIE, OF COURSE, HAS BEEN PLAGUED WITH INJURIES. 484 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,793 JACKIE, OF COURSE, HAS BEEN PLAGUED WITH INJURIES. PERHAPS MOST RECENTLY IS THAT 485 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,195 PLAGUED WITH INJURIES. PERHAPS MOST RECENTLY IS THAT BIG RIB-CAGE SEPARATION SHE 486 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,662 PERHAPS MOST RECENTLY IS THAT BIG RIB-CAGE SEPARATION SHE SUFFERED JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO 487 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,231 BIG RIB-CAGE SEPARATION SHE SUFFERED JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO OVER AT THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM 488 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,832 SUFFERED JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO OVER AT THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART... THEIR IMPERIAL RUSSIAN 489 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,367 OVER AT THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART... THEIR IMPERIAL RUSSIAN COSTUME EXHIBITION OVER THERE. 490 00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:46,502 OF ART... THEIR IMPERIAL RUSSIAN COSTUME EXHIBITION OVER THERE. THAT MUST STILL HURT. 491 00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:48,104 COSTUME EXHIBITION OVER THERE. THAT MUST STILL HURT. JUST HOW MUCH WE'RE GONNA SEE IN 492 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:48,704 THAT MUST STILL HURT. JUST HOW MUCH WE'RE GONNA SEE IN A MOMENT. 493 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,672 JUST HOW MUCH WE'RE GONNA SEE IN A MOMENT. OKAY, LOOKS LIKE VASILIY IS 494 00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,774 A MOMENT. OKAY, LOOKS LIKE VASILIY IS ABOUT READY TO MAKE HIS FIRST 495 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,743 OKAY, LOOKS LIKE VASILIY IS ABOUT READY TO MAKE HIS FIRST ATTEMPT, AT A WEIGHT OF 250 496 00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,912 ABOUT READY TO MAKE HIS FIRST ATTEMPT, AT A WEIGHT OF 250 KILOGRAMS. 497 00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,247 ATTEMPT, AT A WEIGHT OF 250 KILOGRAMS. OH, LOOK AT THAT NECK. 498 00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,081 KILOGRAMS. OH, LOOK AT THAT NECK. [CHUCKLES] 499 00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:00,882 OH, LOOK AT THAT NECK. [CHUCKLES] I UNDERSTAND IT'S A 19-INCH NECK 500 00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:03,874 [CHUCKLES] I UNDERSTAND IT'S A 19-INCH NECK THE RUSSIAN HAS. 501 00:19:07,912 --> 00:19:11,059 IT'S UP. IT'S UP. HE'S CLEANED IT. 502 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,295 IT'S UP. HE'S CLEANED IT. AND IT'S GOOD! 503 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,497 HE'S CLEANED IT. AND IT'S GOOD! IT'S GOOD. 504 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:16,064 AND IT'S GOOD! IT'S GOOD. A VERY FINE LIFT FOR 505 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,066 IT'S GOOD. A VERY FINE LIFT FOR ALEKSEYEV... 250 KILOGRAMS. 506 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,302 A VERY FINE LIFT FOR ALEKSEYEV... 250 KILOGRAMS. YOU CAN SEE WHY HE WON THE GOLD 507 00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,371 ALEKSEYEV... 250 KILOGRAMS. YOU CAN SEE WHY HE WON THE GOLD MEDAL LAST YEAR IN MONTREAL. 508 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,106 YOU CAN SEE WHY HE WON THE GOLD MEDAL LAST YEAR IN MONTREAL. NOW IT LOOKS LIKE MISS ONASSIS 509 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:25,508 MEDAL LAST YEAR IN MONTREAL. NOW IT LOOKS LIKE MISS ONASSIS IS APPROACHING THE BAR. 510 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,376 NOW IT LOOKS LIKE MISS ONASSIS IS APPROACHING THE BAR. IT'S GONNA BE HER FIRST ATTEMPT. 511 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,076 IS APPROACHING THE BAR. IT'S GONNA BE HER FIRST ATTEMPT. WHAT A COMPETITOR. 512 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:28,977 IT'S GONNA BE HER FIRST ATTEMPT. WHAT A COMPETITOR. SHE'S GOT A LOT OF DRIVE. 513 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,646 WHAT A COMPETITOR. SHE'S GOT A LOT OF DRIVE. I GUESS IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY, 514 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,348 SHE'S GOT A LOT OF DRIVE. I GUESS IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY, YOU KNOW, AND SHE'S APPROACHING 515 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:35,083 I GUESS IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY, YOU KNOW, AND SHE'S APPROACHING THE BAR. 516 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:36,585 YOU KNOW, AND SHE'S APPROACHING THE BAR. YOU KNOW, SHE GAVE SOME GATORADE 517 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,053 THE BAR. YOU KNOW, SHE GAVE SOME GATORADE TO ALEKSEYEV IN THE LOCKER ROOM. 518 00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:39,355 YOU KNOW, SHE GAVE SOME GATORADE TO ALEKSEYEV IN THE LOCKER ROOM. HE SAID HE NEVER TRIED IT. 519 00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,856 TO ALEKSEYEV IN THE LOCKER ROOM. HE SAID HE NEVER TRIED IT. THEY WERE GONNA ARRANGE TO GET A 520 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,358 HE SAID HE NEVER TRIED IT. THEY WERE GONNA ARRANGE TO GET A COUPLE OF CASES SENT OVER TO THE 521 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,792 THEY WERE GONNA ARRANGE TO GET A COUPLE OF CASES SENT OVER TO THE SOVIET UNION SO HE COULD USE AT 522 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,227 COUPLE OF CASES SENT OVER TO THE SOVIET UNION SO HE COULD USE AT HIS OWN TRAINING CAMP. 523 00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:45,761 SOVIET UNION SO HE COULD USE AT HIS OWN TRAINING CAMP. OOP. 524 00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,829 HIS OWN TRAINING CAMP. OOP. SHE'S NOT HAPPY WITH HER GRIP. 525 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:48,964 OOP. SHE'S NOT HAPPY WITH HER GRIP. AND I DON'T BLAME HER. 526 00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:50,399 SHE'S NOT HAPPY WITH HER GRIP. AND I DON'T BLAME HER. IF YOU'RE NOT READY, YOU JUST 527 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:51,567 AND I DON'T BLAME HER. IF YOU'RE NOT READY, YOU JUST WALK AWAY FROM THE BAR. 528 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:52,401 IF YOU'RE NOT READY, YOU JUST WALK AWAY FROM THE BAR. IT'S THE WAY THEY SAY TO DO IT, 529 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:57,439 WALK AWAY FROM THE BAR. IT'S THE WAY THEY SAY TO DO IT, AND SHE'S RIGHT TO DO IT. 530 00:19:57,463 --> 00:20:00,464 IT'S THE WAY THEY SAY TO DO IT, AND SHE'S RIGHT TO DO IT. OKAY, SHE'S GOT IT. 531 00:20:09,974 --> 00:20:17,974 SHE SEEMS A LITTLE BIT UNSTEADY. SHE'S GOT IT. SHE IS CLEANING IT. 532 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,596 SHE'S GOT IT. SHE IS CLEANING IT. SHE'S TRYING TO CLEAN IT. 533 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,697 SHE IS CLEANING IT. SHE'S TRYING TO CLEAN IT. SHE'S TRYING TO CLEAN. 534 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,432 SHE'S TRYING TO CLEAN IT. SHE'S TRYING TO CLEAN. SHE'S AT THE BELLY. 535 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,100 SHE'S TRYING TO CLEAN. SHE'S AT THE BELLY. COME ON! 536 00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:25,934 SHE'S AT THE BELLY. COME ON! SHE'S CLEANED IT! 537 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:26,802 COME ON! SHE'S CLEANED IT! SHE'S CLEANED IT. 538 00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,003 SHE'S CLEANED IT! SHE'S CLEANED IT. THE JUDGES HAVE SIGNALED. 539 00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:28,904 SHE'S CLEANED IT. THE JUDGES HAVE SIGNALED. SHE'S CLEANED IT. 540 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:30,472 THE JUDGES HAVE SIGNALED. SHE'S CLEANED IT. NOW IF SHE COULD ONLY GET IT UP 541 00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:31,340 SHE'S CLEANED IT. NOW IF SHE COULD ONLY GET IT UP FULL EXTENSION. 542 00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:32,874 NOW IF SHE COULD ONLY GET IT UP FULL EXTENSION. SHE NEEDS FOR ONE FULL SECOND. 543 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:33,942 FULL EXTENSION. SHE NEEDS FOR ONE FULL SECOND. FULL EXTENSION... SHE'S GOT IT! 544 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,444 SHE NEEDS FOR ONE FULL SECOND. FULL EXTENSION... SHE'S GOT IT! SHE'S GOT IT! 545 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,545 FULL EXTENSION... SHE'S GOT IT! SHE'S GOT IT! TRYING TO KEEP IT THERE. 546 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:37,413 SHE'S GOT IT! TRYING TO KEEP IT THERE. OH, OH! 547 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,547 TRYING TO KEEP IT THERE. OH, OH! SHE'S GOT TO BE STEADY. 548 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,316 OH, OH! SHE'S GOT TO BE STEADY. OH, NO! 549 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,584 SHE'S GOT TO BE STEADY. OH, NO! OH, SHE HAD TO REMAIN STEADY. 550 00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:42,984 OH, NO! OH, SHE HAD TO REMAIN STEADY. THE JUDGES, OF COURSE, ARE GONNA 551 00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:43,952 OH, SHE HAD TO REMAIN STEADY. THE JUDGES, OF COURSE, ARE GONNA GIVE IT TO ALEKSEYEV. 552 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,321 THE JUDGES, OF COURSE, ARE GONNA GIVE IT TO ALEKSEYEV. OH, VASILIY, ANOTHER CONVINCING 553 00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,555 GIVE IT TO ALEKSEYEV. OH, VASILIY, ANOTHER CONVINCING VICTORY... IF ONLY SHE COULD 554 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,223 OH, VASILIY, ANOTHER CONVINCING VICTORY... IF ONLY SHE COULD HAVE HUNG ON. 555 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:48,390 VICTORY... IF ONLY SHE COULD HAVE HUNG ON. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR 556 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,157 HAVE HUNG ON. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT TONIGHT? 557 00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,193 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT TONIGHT? [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] 558 00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:53,028 WEIGHT TONIGHT? [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] MAYBE YOU COULD GET ME AMERICAN 559 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,330 [SPEAKING RUSSIAN] MAYBE YOU COULD GET ME AMERICAN BLUE JEANS SOMETIME? 560 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,464 MAYBE YOU COULD GET ME AMERICAN BLUE JEANS SOMETIME? LOVE TO, ALEKSEYEV. 561 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:56,832 BLUE JEANS SOMETIME? LOVE TO, ALEKSEYEV. YOU CERTAINLY EARNED IT WITH 562 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,100 LOVE TO, ALEKSEYEV. YOU CERTAINLY EARNED IT WITH YOUR PERFORMANCE TONIGHT. 563 00:20:58,124 --> 00:20:59,501 YOU CERTAINLY EARNED IT WITH YOUR PERFORMANCE TONIGHT. LET ME CHECK ON MISS ONASSIS' 564 00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:00,135 YOUR PERFORMANCE TONIGHT. LET ME CHECK ON MISS ONASSIS' CONDITION. 565 00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:01,169 LET ME CHECK ON MISS ONASSIS' CONDITION. JACKIE, HOW ARE YOU? 566 00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:02,504 CONDITION. JACKIE, HOW ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE 567 00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:02,938 JACKIE, HOW ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE LIFT? 568 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,740 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE LIFT? WELL, I-I THINK IT'S MY 569 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:05,674 LIFT? WELL, I-I THINK IT'S MY COLLARBONE. 570 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:06,442 WELL, I-I THINK IT'S MY COLLARBONE. I-I BROKE IT. 571 00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:08,009 COLLARBONE. I-I BROKE IT. SHE BROKE THE COLLARBONE. 572 00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,111 I-I BROKE IT. SHE BROKE THE COLLARBONE. WELL, IT'S ALWAYS THE 573 00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:09,811 SHE BROKE THE COLLARBONE. WELL, IT'S ALWAYS THE COLLARBONE. 574 00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,213 WELL, IT'S ALWAYS THE COLLARBONE. THAT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS SAY. 575 00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:12,748 COLLARBONE. THAT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS SAY. WELL, YOU CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER 576 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:14,283 THAT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS SAY. WELL, YOU CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER IF MAYBE JACKIE WILL BE MISSING 577 00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:15,284 WELL, YOU CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER IF MAYBE JACKIE WILL BE MISSING THAT BIG PARTY FOR 578 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:16,585 IF MAYBE JACKIE WILL BE MISSING THAT BIG PARTY FOR RUDOLF NUREYEV THIS MONDAY 579 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,052 THAT BIG PARTY FOR RUDOLF NUREYEV THIS MONDAY NIGHT. 580 00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:18,621 RUDOLF NUREYEV THIS MONDAY NIGHT. SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO COMPETE AT 581 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,021 NIGHT. SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO COMPETE AT THAT DRINK FEST, NO QUESTION 582 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:20,623 SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO COMPETE AT THAT DRINK FEST, NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. 583 00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,057 THAT DRINK FEST, NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. WE'RE ABOUT OUT OF TIME RIGHT 584 00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:23,525 ABOUT IT. WE'RE ABOUT OUT OF TIME RIGHT NOW, BUT PLEASE COME ON BACK. 585 00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:24,926 WE'RE ABOUT OUT OF TIME RIGHT NOW, BUT PLEASE COME ON BACK. JOIN US NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT, 586 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,462 NOW, BUT PLEASE COME ON BACK. JOIN US NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT, WHEN THE FINALS OF THE 2-HANDED 587 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,496 JOIN US NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT, WHEN THE FINALS OF THE 2-HANDED SNATCH WILL FEATURE 588 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:28,530 WHEN THE FINALS OF THE 2-HANDED SNATCH WILL FEATURE ARETHA FRANKLIN AND 589 00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:29,265 SNATCH WILL FEATURE ARETHA FRANKLIN AND ERIC SEVAREID. 590 00:21:29,289 --> 00:21:29,898 ARETHA FRANKLIN AND ERIC SEVAREID. WE'LL SEE YOU THEN. 591 00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:32,556 ERIC SEVAREID. WE'LL SEE YOU THEN. KEEP LIFTING. 592 00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:44,380 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE "SATURDAY NIGHT" SHOW IS PROUD TO PRESENT THE KINKS. 593 00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:46,047 "SATURDAY NIGHT" SHOW IS PROUD TO PRESENT THE KINKS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 594 00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:47,048 TO PRESENT THE KINKS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ["YOU REALLY GOT ME" 595 00:21:47,072 --> 00:21:49,951 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ["YOU REALLY GOT ME" INTRODUCTION PLAYS] 596 00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:55,157 ["YOU REALLY GOT ME" INTRODUCTION PLAYS] YEAH, ALL RIGHT. 597 00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:57,058 [INTRODUCTION PLAYS] YEAH, ALL RIGHT. ♪ GIRL, YOU REALLY GOT ME 598 00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:57,859 YEAH, ALL RIGHT. ♪ GIRL, YOU REALLY GOT ME GOIN' ♪ 599 00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:58,894 ♪ GIRL, YOU REALLY GOT ME GOIN' ♪ ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I DON'T KNOW 600 00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:01,096 GOIN' ♪ ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN' ♪ 601 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,599 ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN' ♪ ♪ YEAH, YOU REALLY GOT ME NOW ♪ 602 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:05,501 WHAT I'M DOIN' ♪ ♪ YEAH, YOU REALLY GOT ME NOW ♪ ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I CAN'T SLEEP 603 00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:07,169 ♪ YEAH, YOU REALLY GOT ME NOW ♪ ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT ♪ 604 00:22:07,193 --> 00:22:09,638 ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT ♪ ♪ YEAH, YOU REALLY GOT ME NOW ♪ 605 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:10,939 AT NIGHT ♪ ♪ YEAH, YOU REALLY GOT ME NOW ♪ ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I DON'T KNOW 606 00:22:10,963 --> 00:22:12,708 ♪ YEAH, YOU REALLY GOT ME NOW ♪ ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN' ♪ 607 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,677 ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN' ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH, YOU REALLY 608 00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:15,678 WHAT I'M DOIN' ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH, YOU REALLY GOT ME NOW ♪ 609 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:16,912 ♪ OH, YEAH, YOU REALLY GOT ME NOW ♪ ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I CAN'T SLEEP 610 00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:17,579 GOT ME NOW ♪ ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT ♪ 611 00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:19,014 ♪ YOU GOT ME SO I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT ♪ ♪ YOU REALLY GOT ME ♪ 612 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:20,449 AT NIGHT ♪ ♪ YOU REALLY GOT ME ♪ ♪ YOU REALLY GOT ME ♪ 613 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:24,920 ♪ YOU REALLY GOT ME ♪ ♪ YOU REALLY GOT ME ♪ ♪ YOU REALLY GOT ME ♪♪ 614 00:22:24,944 --> 00:22:27,523 ♪ YOU REALLY GOT ME ♪ ♪ YOU REALLY GOT ME ♪♪ ♪ I'M NOT CONTENT TO BE WITH YOU 615 00:22:27,547 --> 00:22:31,059 ♪ YOU REALLY GOT ME ♪♪ ♪ I'M NOT CONTENT TO BE WITH YOU IN THE DAYTIME ♪ 616 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,629 ♪ I'M NOT CONTENT TO BE WITH YOU IN THE DAYTIME ♪ ♪ GIRL, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU 617 00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:36,932 IN THE DAYTIME ♪ ♪ GIRL, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU ALL OF THE TIME ♪ 618 00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:39,868 ♪ GIRL, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU ALL OF THE TIME ♪ ♪ THE ONLY TIME I FEEL ALL RIGHT 619 00:22:39,892 --> 00:22:43,372 ALL OF THE TIME ♪ ♪ THE ONLY TIME I FEEL ALL RIGHT IS BY YOUR SIDE ♪ 620 00:22:43,396 --> 00:22:45,874 ♪ THE ONLY TIME I FEEL ALL RIGHT IS BY YOUR SIDE ♪ ♪ GIRL, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU 621 00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:47,008 IS BY YOUR SIDE ♪ ♪ GIRL, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU ALL OF THE TIME ♪ 622 00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:49,945 ♪ GIRL, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU ALL OF THE TIME ♪ ♪ ALL DAY AND ALL OF THE NIGHT ♪ 623 00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:53,014 ALL OF THE TIME ♪ ♪ ALL DAY AND ALL OF THE NIGHT ♪ ♪ ALL DAY AND ALL OF THE NIGHT ♪ 624 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:53,682 ♪ ALL DAY AND ALL OF THE NIGHT ♪ ♪ ALL DAY AND ALL OF THE NIGHT ♪ ♪ ALL DAY 625 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:57,241 ♪ ALL DAY AND ALL OF THE NIGHT ♪ ♪ ALL DAY AND ALL OF THE NIGHT ♪♪ 626 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:15,136 ♪ HE GETS UP IN THE MORNING, AND HE GOES TO WORK AT NIGHT ♪ ♪ AND HE COMES BACK HOME 627 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:16,405 AND HE GOES TO WORK AT NIGHT ♪ ♪ AND HE COMES BACK HOME AT 5:30 ♪ 628 00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:17,406 ♪ AND HE COMES BACK HOME AT 5:30 ♪ ♪ GETS THE SAME TRAIN 629 00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:19,140 AT 5:30 ♪ ♪ GETS THE SAME TRAIN EVERY TIME ♪ 630 00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:20,442 ♪ GETS THE SAME TRAIN EVERY TIME ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE HIS WORLD IS BUILT 631 00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:22,544 EVERY TIME ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE HIS WORLD IS BUILT ON PUNCTUALITY ♪ 632 00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:24,413 ♪ 'CAUSE HIS WORLD IS BUILT ON PUNCTUALITY ♪ ♪ IT NEVER FAILS ♪ 633 00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:26,915 ON PUNCTUALITY ♪ ♪ IT NEVER FAILS ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO GOOD ♪ 634 00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:29,418 ♪ IT NEVER FAILS ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO GOOD ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO FINE ♪ 635 00:23:29,442 --> 00:23:31,854 ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO GOOD ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO FINE ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO HEALTHY 636 00:23:31,878 --> 00:23:34,623 ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO FINE ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO HEALTHY IN HIS BODY AND HIS MIND ♪ 637 00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:36,358 ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO HEALTHY IN HIS BODY AND HIS MIND ♪ ♪ HE'S A WELL-RESPECTED 638 00:23:36,382 --> 00:23:37,459 IN HIS BODY AND HIS MIND ♪ ♪ HE'S A WELL-RESPECTED MAN ABOUT TOWN ♪ 639 00:23:37,483 --> 00:23:38,827 ♪ HE'S A WELL-RESPECTED MAN ABOUT TOWN ♪ ♪ DOING THE BEST THINGS 640 00:23:38,851 --> 00:23:42,230 MAN ABOUT TOWN ♪ ♪ DOING THE BEST THINGS SO CONSERVATIVELY ♪ 641 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,900 ♪ DOING THE BEST THINGS SO CONSERVATIVELY ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO GOOD ♪ 642 00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:47,503 SO CONSERVATIVELY ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO GOOD ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO FINE ♪ 643 00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:49,838 ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO GOOD ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO FINE ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO HEALTHY 644 00:23:49,862 --> 00:23:52,641 ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO FINE ♪ ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO HEALTHY IN HIS BODY AND HIS MIND ♪ 645 00:23:52,665 --> 00:23:54,175 ♪ AND HE'S OH, SO HEALTHY IN HIS BODY AND HIS MIND ♪ ♪ HE'S A WELL-RESPECTED 646 00:23:54,199 --> 00:23:55,644 IN HIS BODY AND HIS MIND ♪ ♪ HE'S A WELL-RESPECTED MAN ABOUT TOWN ♪ 647 00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:57,012 ♪ HE'S A WELL-RESPECTED MAN ABOUT TOWN ♪ ♪ DOING THE BEST THINGS 648 00:23:57,036 --> 00:24:01,116 MAN ABOUT TOWN ♪ ♪ DOING THE BEST THINGS SO CONSERVATIVELY ♪♪ 649 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:04,920 ♪ DOING THE BEST THINGS SO CONSERVATIVELY ♪♪ [PLAYS "LOLA" INTRODUCTION] 650 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:12,944 SO CONSERVATIVELY ♪♪ [PLAYS "LOLA" INTRODUCTION] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 651 00:24:14,219 --> 00:24:15,531 [PLAYS "LOLA" INTRODUCTION] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ I MET HER IN A CLUB 652 00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:16,965 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ I MET HER IN A CLUB DOWN IN OLD SOHO, 653 00:24:16,989 --> 00:24:18,434 ♪ I MET HER IN A CLUB DOWN IN OLD SOHO, WHERE YOU DRINK CHAMPAGNE 654 00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:19,568 DOWN IN OLD SOHO, WHERE YOU DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND IT TASTES JUST LIKE 655 00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:21,737 WHERE YOU DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND IT TASTES JUST LIKE COCA-COLA ♪ 656 00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:25,441 AND IT TASTES JUST LIKE COCA-COLA ♪ ♪ C-O-L-A COLA ♪ 657 00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:26,708 COCA-COLA ♪ ♪ C-O-L-A COLA ♪ ♪ SHE WALKED UP TO ME, 658 00:24:26,732 --> 00:24:28,276 ♪ C-O-L-A COLA ♪ ♪ SHE WALKED UP TO ME, AND SHE ASKED ME TO DANCE ♪ 659 00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:29,511 ♪ SHE WALKED UP TO ME, AND SHE ASKED ME TO DANCE ♪ ♪ I ASKED HER HER NAME, 660 00:24:29,535 --> 00:24:30,712 AND SHE ASKED ME TO DANCE ♪ ♪ I ASKED HER HER NAME, AND IN A DARK BROWN VOICE 661 00:24:30,736 --> 00:24:32,915 ♪ I ASKED HER HER NAME, AND IN A DARK BROWN VOICE SHE SAID, "LOLA" ♪ 662 00:24:32,939 --> 00:24:35,751 AND IN A DARK BROWN VOICE SHE SAID, "LOLA" ♪ ♪ L-O-L-A LOLA ♪ 663 00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:43,775 SHE SAID, "LOLA" ♪ ♪ L-O-L-A LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 664 00:24:44,851 --> 00:24:46,127 ♪ L-O-L-A LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ WELL, I'M NOT THE WORLD'S 665 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:47,395 ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ WELL, I'M NOT THE WORLD'S MOST PHYSICAL GUY, 666 00:24:47,419 --> 00:24:48,797 ♪ WELL, I'M NOT THE WORLD'S MOST PHYSICAL GUY, BUT WHEN SHE SQUEEZED ME TIGHT 667 00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:50,265 MOST PHYSICAL GUY, BUT WHEN SHE SQUEEZED ME TIGHT SHE NEARLY BROKE MY SPINE ♪ 668 00:24:50,289 --> 00:24:52,367 BUT WHEN SHE SQUEEZED ME TIGHT SHE NEARLY BROKE MY SPINE ♪ ♪ OH, MY, LOLA ♪ 669 00:24:52,391 --> 00:24:56,104 SHE NEARLY BROKE MY SPINE ♪ ♪ OH, MY, LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 670 00:24:56,128 --> 00:24:57,238 ♪ OH, MY, LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ WELL, I'M NOT DUMB, 671 00:24:57,262 --> 00:24:58,540 ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ WELL, I'M NOT DUMB, BUT I CANT UNDERSTAND 672 00:24:58,564 --> 00:24:59,942 ♪ WELL, I'M NOT DUMB, BUT I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WALKED LIKE A WOMAN 673 00:24:59,966 --> 00:25:01,276 BUT I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WALKED LIKE A WOMAN BUT TALKED LIKE A MAN ♪ 674 00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:03,278 WHY SHE WALKED LIKE A WOMAN BUT TALKED LIKE A MAN ♪ ♪ OH, MY, LOLA ♪ 675 00:25:03,302 --> 00:25:05,981 BUT TALKED LIKE A MAN ♪ ♪ OH, MY, LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 676 00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:14,005 ♪ OH, MY, LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 677 00:25:14,647 --> 00:25:17,626 ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ WELL, I PUSHED HER AWAY ♪ 678 00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:20,261 ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ WELL, I PUSHED HER AWAY ♪ ♪ WALKED TO THE DOOR ♪ 679 00:25:20,285 --> 00:25:22,831 ♪ WELL, I PUSHED HER AWAY ♪ ♪ WALKED TO THE DOOR ♪ ♪ I FELL TO THE FLOOR ♪ 680 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,734 ♪ WALKED TO THE DOOR ♪ ♪ I FELL TO THE FLOOR ♪ ♪ I GOT DOWN ON MY KNEES ♪ 681 00:25:25,758 --> 00:25:27,168 ♪ I FELL TO THE FLOOR ♪ ♪ I GOT DOWN ON MY KNEES ♪ ♪ THEN I LOOKED AT HER 682 00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:28,604 ♪ I GOT DOWN ON MY KNEES ♪ ♪ THEN I LOOKED AT HER AND SHE AT ME ♪ 683 00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:29,538 ♪ THEN I LOOKED AT HER AND SHE AT ME ♪ ♪ WELL, THAT'S THE WAY 684 00:25:29,562 --> 00:25:31,172 AND SHE AT ME ♪ ♪ WELL, THAT'S THE WAY THAT I WANT IT TO STAY ♪ 685 00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:32,908 ♪ WELL, THAT'S THE WAY THAT I WANT IT TO STAY ♪ ♪ I ALWAYS WANT IT TO BE 686 00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:35,911 THAT I WANT IT TO STAY ♪ ♪ I ALWAYS WANT IT TO BE THAT WAY FOR MY LOLA ♪ 687 00:25:35,935 --> 00:25:39,581 ♪ I ALWAYS WANT IT TO BE THAT WAY FOR MY LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 688 00:25:39,605 --> 00:25:40,883 THAT WAY FOR MY LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ GIRLS WILL BE BOYS, 689 00:25:40,907 --> 00:25:42,283 ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ GIRLS WILL BE BOYS, AND BOYS WILL BE GIRLS ♪ 690 00:25:42,307 --> 00:25:43,752 ♪ GIRLS WILL BE BOYS, AND BOYS WILL BE GIRLS ♪ ♪ IT'S A MIXED-UP, MUDDLED-UP, 691 00:25:43,776 --> 00:25:46,989 AND BOYS WILL BE GIRLS ♪ ♪ IT'S A MIXED-UP, MUDDLED-UP, SHOOK-UP WORLD EXCEPT FOR LOLA ♪ 692 00:25:47,013 --> 00:25:49,625 ♪ IT'S A MIXED-UP, MUDDLED-UP, SHOOK-UP WORLD EXCEPT FOR LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 693 00:25:49,649 --> 00:25:53,461 SHOOK-UP WORLD EXCEPT FOR LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 694 00:25:53,485 --> 00:25:55,196 ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LOLA ♪ 695 00:25:55,220 --> 00:25:58,199 ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 696 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:01,970 ♪ LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 697 00:26:01,994 --> 00:26:03,805 ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LOLA ♪ 698 00:26:03,829 --> 00:26:06,575 ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 699 00:26:06,599 --> 00:26:10,534 ♪ LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ ♪ LO-LO-LO-LO LOLA ♪ 700 00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:24,514 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 701 00:26:34,325 --> 00:26:40,341 Announcer: AND NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE," WITH JANE CURTIN. HI. 702 00:26:40,365 --> 00:26:42,911 UPDATE," WITH JANE CURTIN. HI. I'M JANE CURTIN. 703 00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:44,913 HI. I'M JANE CURTIN. REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I DID 704 00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:46,682 I'M JANE CURTIN. REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I DID "UPDATE" FROM THIS DESK? 705 00:26:46,706 --> 00:26:48,383 REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I DID "UPDATE" FROM THIS DESK? NOT TONIGHT. 706 00:26:48,407 --> 00:26:51,453 "UPDATE" FROM THIS DESK? NOT TONIGHT. I HAVE A HEADACHE. 707 00:26:51,477 --> 00:26:53,254 NOT TONIGHT. I HAVE A HEADACHE. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... A 708 00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:55,390 I HAVE A HEADACHE. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... A REPORT FROM FLORIDA STATES THAT 709 00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:57,192 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... A REPORT FROM FLORIDA STATES THAT ANITA BRYANT PLANS TO UNDERGO A 710 00:26:57,216 --> 00:26:58,961 REPORT FROM FLORIDA STATES THAT ANITA BRYANT PLANS TO UNDERGO A SEX-CHANGE OPERATION THIS 711 00:26:58,985 --> 00:26:59,661 ANITA BRYANT PLANS TO UNDERGO A SEX-CHANGE OPERATION THIS SPRING. 712 00:26:59,685 --> 00:27:01,730 SEX-CHANGE OPERATION THIS SPRING. THE EXACT DATE WILL NOT BE SET 713 00:27:01,754 --> 00:27:03,899 SPRING. THE EXACT DATE WILL NOT BE SET UNTIL THE POPULAR TV PERSONALITY 714 00:27:03,923 --> 00:27:06,001 THE EXACT DATE WILL NOT BE SET UNTIL THE POPULAR TV PERSONALITY DECIDES WHICH SEX TO CHANGE TO. 715 00:27:06,025 --> 00:27:07,669 UNTIL THE POPULAR TV PERSONALITY DECIDES WHICH SEX TO CHANGE TO. MORE ON THIS STORY AS IT 716 00:27:07,693 --> 00:27:10,171 DECIDES WHICH SEX TO CHANGE TO. MORE ON THIS STORY AS IT DEVELOPS. 717 00:27:10,195 --> 00:27:12,407 MORE ON THIS STORY AS IT DEVELOPS. WELL, BEGINNING MARCH 15th, "THE 718 00:27:12,431 --> 00:27:14,109 DEVELOPS. WELL, BEGINNING MARCH 15th, "THE TONIGHT SHOW," STARRING 719 00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:16,344 WELL, BEGINNING MARCH 15th, "THE TONIGHT SHOW," STARRING JOHNNY CARSON, WILL BE BROADCAST 720 00:27:16,368 --> 00:27:18,279 TONIGHT SHOW," STARRING JOHNNY CARSON, WILL BE BROADCAST LIVE ON THE NBC TV NETWORK. 721 00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:20,048 JOHNNY CARSON, WILL BE BROADCAST LIVE ON THE NBC TV NETWORK. CARSON, WHO HAS BEEN DOING THE 722 00:27:20,072 --> 00:27:21,883 LIVE ON THE NBC TV NETWORK. CARSON, WHO HAS BEEN DOING THE SHOW DEAD FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS, 723 00:27:21,907 --> 00:27:23,551 CARSON, WHO HAS BEEN DOING THE SHOW DEAD FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS, COULD NOT EXPLAIN HOW HE WAS 724 00:27:23,575 --> 00:27:27,222 SHOW DEAD FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS, COULD NOT EXPLAIN HOW HE WAS GOING TO MAKE THAT TRANSITION. 725 00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:29,024 COULD NOT EXPLAIN HOW HE WAS GOING TO MAKE THAT TRANSITION. THE GREENWICH VILLAGE COMMUNITY 726 00:27:29,048 --> 00:27:30,759 GOING TO MAKE THAT TRANSITION. THE GREENWICH VILLAGE COMMUNITY COURT TODAY CONVICTED THE CITY 727 00:27:30,783 --> 00:27:32,560 THE GREENWICH VILLAGE COMMUNITY COURT TODAY CONVICTED THE CITY OF CINCINNATI FOR OBSCENITY FOR 728 00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:34,129 COURT TODAY CONVICTED THE CITY OF CINCINNATI FOR OBSCENITY FOR THEIR CONVICTION OF HUSTLER 729 00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:35,931 OF CINCINNATI FOR OBSCENITY FOR THEIR CONVICTION OF HUSTLER MAGAZINE PUBLISHER LARRY FLYNT. 730 00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:37,532 THEIR CONVICTION OF HUSTLER MAGAZINE PUBLISHER LARRY FLYNT. THE GREENWICH VILLAGE COURT 731 00:27:37,556 --> 00:27:38,934 MAGAZINE PUBLISHER LARRY FLYNT. THE GREENWICH VILLAGE COURT SENTENCED THE PEOPLE OF 732 00:27:38,958 --> 00:27:40,235 THE GREENWICH VILLAGE COURT SENTENCED THE PEOPLE OF CINCINNATI TO LIVE IN 733 00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:47,776 SENTENCED THE PEOPLE OF CINCINNATI TO LIVE IN CINCINNATI. 734 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,377 CINCINNATI TO LIVE IN CINCINNATI. ALTHOUGH PRESIDENT CARTER HAS 735 00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:51,046 CINCINNATI. ALTHOUGH PRESIDENT CARTER HAS FORBIDDEN THE DRINKING OF HARD 736 00:27:51,070 --> 00:27:52,648 ALTHOUGH PRESIDENT CARTER HAS FORBIDDEN THE DRINKING OF HARD LIQUOR IN THE WHITE HOUSE, HE 737 00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:54,149 FORBIDDEN THE DRINKING OF HARD LIQUOR IN THE WHITE HOUSE, HE REVEALED THIS WEEK THAT HE 738 00:27:54,173 --> 00:27:55,651 LIQUOR IN THE WHITE HOUSE, HE REVEALED THIS WEEK THAT HE DOESN'T OBJECT TO TAKING IT 739 00:27:55,675 --> 00:27:57,185 REVEALED THIS WEEK THAT HE DOESN'T OBJECT TO TAKING IT INTRAVENOUSLY. 740 00:27:57,209 --> 00:27:58,687 DOESN'T OBJECT TO TAKING IT INTRAVENOUSLY. THE PRESIDENT IS SHOWN HERE 741 00:27:58,711 --> 00:28:00,155 INTRAVENOUSLY. THE PRESIDENT IS SHOWN HERE HAVING A SHOT OF BOURBON TO 742 00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:01,790 THE PRESIDENT IS SHOWN HERE HAVING A SHOT OF BOURBON TO CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF HIS NEW 743 00:28:01,814 --> 00:28:04,225 HAVING A SHOT OF BOURBON TO CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF HIS NEW GRANDSON. 744 00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:06,294 CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF HIS NEW GRANDSON. ADOLF HITLER'S RIGHT-HAND MAN, 745 00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:08,163 GRANDSON. ADOLF HITLER'S RIGHT-HAND MAN, RUDOLF HESS, UNSUCCESSFULLY 746 00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:10,198 ADOLF HITLER'S RIGHT-HAND MAN, RUDOLF HESS, UNSUCCESSFULLY ATTEMPTED SUICIDE THIS WEEK IN 747 00:28:10,222 --> 00:28:12,267 RUDOLF HESS, UNSUCCESSFULLY ATTEMPTED SUICIDE THIS WEEK IN BERLIN'S SPANDAU PRISON, WHERE 748 00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:13,869 ATTEMPTED SUICIDE THIS WEEK IN BERLIN'S SPANDAU PRISON, WHERE HE IS THE ONLY INMATE. 749 00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:15,871 BERLIN'S SPANDAU PRISON, WHERE HE IS THE ONLY INMATE. AUTHORITIES SAID THE 82-YEAR-OLD 750 00:28:15,895 --> 00:28:17,572 HE IS THE ONLY INMATE. AUTHORITIES SAID THE 82-YEAR-OLD NAZI BECAME CONFUSED AFTER 751 00:28:17,596 --> 00:28:19,141 AUTHORITIES SAID THE 82-YEAR-OLD NAZI BECAME CONFUSED AFTER SECRETLY PLAN... PLAN... 752 00:28:19,165 --> 00:28:22,277 NAZI BECAME CONFUSED AFTER SECRETLY PLAN... PLAN... PLANNING... 753 00:28:22,301 --> 00:28:24,245 SECRETLY PLAN... PLAN... PLANNING... ADOLF HITLER'S RIGHT-HAND MAN, 754 00:28:24,269 --> 00:28:26,081 PLANNING... ADOLF HITLER'S RIGHT-HAND MAN, RUDOLF HESS, UNSUCCESSFULLY 755 00:28:26,105 --> 00:28:28,050 ADOLF HITLER'S RIGHT-HAND MAN, RUDOLF HESS, UNSUCCESSFULLY ATTEMPTED SUICIDE THIS WEEK IN 756 00:28:28,074 --> 00:28:30,018 RUDOLF HESS, UNSUCCESSFULLY ATTEMPTED SUICIDE THIS WEEK IN BERLIN'S SPANDAU PRISON, WHERE 757 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,553 ATTEMPTED SUICIDE THIS WEEK IN BERLIN'S SPANDAU PRISON, WHERE HE IS THE ONLY INMATE. 758 00:28:31,577 --> 00:28:33,722 BERLIN'S SPANDAU PRISON, WHERE HE IS THE ONLY INMATE. AUTHORITIES SAID THE 82-YEAR-OLD 759 00:28:33,746 --> 00:28:35,557 HE IS THE ONLY INMATE. AUTHORITIES SAID THE 82-YEAR-OLD NAZI BECAME CONFUSED AFTER 760 00:28:35,581 --> 00:28:37,726 AUTHORITIES SAID THE 82-YEAR-OLD NAZI BECAME CONFUSED AFTER SECRETLY PLANNING A PRISON BREAK 761 00:28:37,750 --> 00:28:39,427 NAZI BECAME CONFUSED AFTER SECRETLY PLANNING A PRISON BREAK AND REPEATEDLY SAYING TO 762 00:28:39,451 --> 00:28:42,130 SECRETLY PLANNING A PRISON BREAK AND REPEATEDLY SAYING TO HIMSELF, "PASS IT ON." 763 00:28:42,154 --> 00:28:44,499 AND REPEATEDLY SAYING TO HIMSELF, "PASS IT ON." PASS IT ON. 764 00:28:44,523 --> 00:28:46,534 HIMSELF, "PASS IT ON." PASS IT ON. STILL TO COME... BOB HOPE AND 765 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,536 PASS IT ON. STILL TO COME... BOB HOPE AND GERALD FORD ANNOUNCE WEDDING 766 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,405 STILL TO COME... BOB HOPE AND GERALD FORD ANNOUNCE WEDDING PLANS AFTER THIS WORD FROM 767 00:28:50,429 --> 00:28:52,909 GERALD FORD ANNOUNCE WEDDING PLANS AFTER THIS WORD FROM WHOEVER. 768 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,075 YES, EVEN A WOMAN DOCTOR LIKE 769 00:29:05,210 --> 00:29:06,370 ME CAN HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM. 770 00:29:06,611 --> 00:29:11,292 THAT'S WHY FOR MANY YEARS I'VE TRIED EXHAUSTING EXERCISES, HARMFUL PILLS, AND, WORST OF 771 00:29:11,316 --> 00:29:13,095 TRIED EXHAUSTING EXERCISES, HARMFUL PILLS, AND, WORST OF ALL, COMPLEX AND ANNOYING DIETS. 772 00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:14,996 HARMFUL PILLS, AND, WORST OF ALL, COMPLEX AND ANNOYING DIETS. SO, FINALLY, I WROTE MY OWN 773 00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:16,698 ALL, COMPLEX AND ANNOYING DIETS. SO, FINALLY, I WROTE MY OWN BOOK... A STEP-BY-STEP, 774 00:29:16,722 --> 00:29:18,133 SO, FINALLY, I WROTE MY OWN BOOK... A STEP-BY-STEP, EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND, 775 00:29:18,157 --> 00:29:20,035 BOOK... A STEP-BY-STEP, EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND, EASY-TO-FOLLOW BOOK THAT IS 776 00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:21,903 EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND, EASY-TO-FOLLOW BOOK THAT IS ABSOLUTELY 100% FOOLPROOF. 777 00:29:21,927 --> 00:29:24,206 EASY-TO-FOLLOW BOOK THAT IS ABSOLUTELY 100% FOOLPROOF. I CALL IT "DR. BREADLOAF'S 778 00:29:24,230 --> 00:29:26,208 ABSOLUTELY 100% FOOLPROOF. I CALL IT "DR. BREADLOAF'S QUICK-LOSS DIET BOOK." 779 00:29:26,232 --> 00:29:28,509 I CALL IT "DR. BREADLOAF'S QUICK-LOSS DIET BOOK." LET'S TURN TO PAGE ONE AND READ 780 00:29:28,533 --> 00:29:29,911 QUICK-LOSS DIET BOOK." LET'S TURN TO PAGE ONE AND READ THE INSTRUCTIONS. 781 00:29:29,935 --> 00:29:31,813 LET'S TURN TO PAGE ONE AND READ THE INSTRUCTIONS. "BREAKFAST... EAT PAGE ONE." 782 00:29:31,837 --> 00:29:32,881 THE INSTRUCTIONS. "BREAKFAST... EAT PAGE ONE." THAT'S RIGHT. 783 00:29:32,905 --> 00:29:34,950 "BREAKFAST... EAT PAGE ONE." THAT'S RIGHT. YOU SIMPLY TEAR THE PAGE OUT OF 784 00:29:34,974 --> 00:29:36,417 THAT'S RIGHT. YOU SIMPLY TEAR THE PAGE OUT OF THE BOOK AND EAT IT. 785 00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:38,319 YOU SIMPLY TEAR THE PAGE OUT OF THE BOOK AND EAT IT. WHAT COULD BE EASIER OR MORE 786 00:29:38,343 --> 00:29:39,554 THE BOOK AND EAT IT. WHAT COULD BE EASIER OR MORE SLIMMING? 787 00:29:39,578 --> 00:29:40,922 WHAT COULD BE EASIER OR MORE SLIMMING? MMM-MMM! 788 00:29:40,946 --> 00:29:44,192 SLIMMING? MMM-MMM! AND FOR LUNCH, EAT PAGE TWO. 789 00:29:44,216 --> 00:29:46,561 MMM-MMM! AND FOR LUNCH, EAT PAGE TWO. FOLLOWED BY A HEARTY DINNER OF 790 00:29:46,585 --> 00:29:48,329 AND FOR LUNCH, EAT PAGE TWO. FOLLOWED BY A HEARTY DINNER OF PAGES THREE AND FOUR. 791 00:29:48,353 --> 00:29:50,732 FOLLOWED BY A HEARTY DINNER OF PAGES THREE AND FOUR. MMM-MMM! 792 00:29:50,756 --> 00:29:52,667 PAGES THREE AND FOUR. MMM-MMM! THAT'S GOOD! 793 00:29:52,691 --> 00:29:54,502 MMM-MMM! THAT'S GOOD! AND OF COURSE THESE BOOKS COME 794 00:29:54,526 --> 00:29:56,204 THAT'S GOOD! AND OF COURSE THESE BOOKS COME WITH EXTRA PAGES FOR HOLIDAY 795 00:29:56,228 --> 00:29:58,140 AND OF COURSE THESE BOOKS COME WITH EXTRA PAGES FOR HOLIDAY DINNERS, COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS FOR 796 00:29:58,164 --> 00:29:59,941 WITH EXTRA PAGES FOR HOLIDAY DINNERS, COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS FOR MIDNIGHT SNACKS, AND IMPORTED 797 00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:01,743 DINNERS, COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS FOR MIDNIGHT SNACKS, AND IMPORTED CARDBOARD BINDINGS FOR GOURMET 798 00:30:01,767 --> 00:30:03,011 MIDNIGHT SNACKS, AND IMPORTED CARDBOARD BINDINGS FOR GOURMET DINING AT ITS BEST. 799 00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:04,345 CARDBOARD BINDINGS FOR GOURMET DINING AT ITS BEST. AND FOR JEWS... TWO BOOKS. 800 00:30:04,369 --> 00:30:06,248 DINING AT ITS BEST. AND FOR JEWS... TWO BOOKS. PAPERBACKS FOR POOR PEOPLE. 801 00:30:06,272 --> 00:30:07,715 AND FOR JEWS... TWO BOOKS. PAPERBACKS FOR POOR PEOPLE. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE. 802 00:30:07,739 --> 00:30:09,517 PAPERBACKS FOR POOR PEOPLE. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE. I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU WEIGH. 803 00:30:09,541 --> 00:30:11,119 I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE. I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU WEIGH. I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU CAN 804 00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:11,619 I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU WEIGH. I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU CAN READ. 805 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,521 I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU CAN READ. ALL I CARE IS THAT YOU USE MY 806 00:30:13,545 --> 00:30:15,423 READ. ALL I CARE IS THAT YOU USE MY BOOK FOR ONE WEEK, AND IF YOU 807 00:30:15,447 --> 00:30:17,325 ALL I CARE IS THAT YOU USE MY BOOK FOR ONE WEEK, AND IF YOU ARE NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED, 808 00:30:17,349 --> 00:30:19,227 BOOK FOR ONE WEEK, AND IF YOU ARE NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED, RETURN THE UNEATEN PORTION TO 809 00:30:19,251 --> 00:30:21,229 ARE NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED, RETURN THE UNEATEN PORTION TO ME, AND I'LL RETURN YOUR MONEY. 810 00:30:21,253 --> 00:30:23,331 RETURN THE UNEATEN PORTION TO ME, AND I'LL RETURN YOUR MONEY. ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE FREE OF 811 00:30:23,355 --> 00:30:25,033 ME, AND I'LL RETURN YOUR MONEY. ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE FREE OF CHARGE THIS COMBINATION 812 00:30:25,057 --> 00:30:27,869 ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE FREE OF CHARGE THIS COMBINATION BOOKMARK/BIRTHDAY CAKE. 813 00:30:27,893 --> 00:30:29,304 CHARGE THIS COMBINATION BOOKMARK/BIRTHDAY CAKE. Announcer: YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT 814 00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:30,405 BOOKMARK/BIRTHDAY CAKE. Announcer: YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT FAST AND FEEL WONDERFUL. 815 00:30:30,429 --> 00:30:31,773 Announcer: YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT FAST AND FEEL WONDERFUL. YES, HERE'S A BOOK WITH A HAPPY 816 00:30:31,797 --> 00:30:32,240 FAST AND FEEL WONDERFUL. YES, HERE'S A BOOK WITH A HAPPY ENDING. 817 00:30:32,264 --> 00:30:33,508 YES, HERE'S A BOOK WITH A HAPPY ENDING. FOR YOUR COPY, SEND $8.95 IN 818 00:30:33,532 --> 00:30:35,932 ENDING. FOR YOUR COPY, SEND $8.95 IN CASH OR MONEY ORDER TO... 819 00:30:42,673 --> 00:30:47,155 AND THIS IS DR. RUTH BREADLOAF SAYING TONIGHT, WHY NOT RELAX, CURL UP 820 00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:50,579 DR. RUTH BREADLOAF SAYING TONIGHT, WHY NOT RELAX, CURL UP WITH A GOOD BOOK, AND EAT IT? 821 00:30:55,586 --> 00:31:00,568 THE UNITED STATES DEFENSE DEPARTMENT HAS RECENTLY BEEN TEST-FLYING THE PRESIDENT'S NEW 822 00:31:00,592 --> 00:31:02,337 DEPARTMENT HAS RECENTLY BEEN TEST-FLYING THE PRESIDENT'S NEW FLYING COMMAND POST, A REGULAR 823 00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:04,206 TEST-FLYING THE PRESIDENT'S NEW FLYING COMMAND POST, A REGULAR 747 AIRPLANE WHICH WAS CONVERTED 824 00:31:04,230 --> 00:31:06,074 FLYING COMMAND POST, A REGULAR 747 AIRPLANE WHICH WAS CONVERTED FOR HIS USE IN CASE OF A NUCLEAR 825 00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:06,674 747 AIRPLANE WHICH WAS CONVERTED FOR HIS USE IN CASE OF A NUCLEAR ATTACK. 826 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:08,476 FOR HIS USE IN CASE OF A NUCLEAR ATTACK. "UPDATE" HAS MADE ARRANGEMENTS 827 00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:10,345 ATTACK. "UPDATE" HAS MADE ARRANGEMENTS TO TAKE ITS CAMERAS ON BOARD THE 828 00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:11,079 "UPDATE" HAS MADE ARRANGEMENTS TO TAKE ITS CAMERAS ON BOARD THE AIRCRAFT. 829 00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:12,647 TO TAKE ITS CAMERAS ON BOARD THE AIRCRAFT. LET'S GO NOW FOR A SPECIAL 830 00:31:12,671 --> 00:31:14,249 AIRCRAFT. LET'S GO NOW FOR A SPECIAL REPORT WITH LARAINE NEWMAN 831 00:31:14,273 --> 00:31:18,419 LET'S GO NOW FOR A SPECIAL REPORT WITH LARAINE NEWMAN SOMEWHERE ABOVE WASHINGTON. 832 00:31:18,443 --> 00:31:20,521 REPORT WITH LARAINE NEWMAN SOMEWHERE ABOVE WASHINGTON. JANE, I'M STANDING INSIDE THE 833 00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:22,523 SOMEWHERE ABOVE WASHINGTON. JANE, I'M STANDING INSIDE THE ELECTRONIC CORE OF THE DEFENSE 834 00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:24,525 JANE, I'M STANDING INSIDE THE ELECTRONIC CORE OF THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT'S EXECUTIVE COMMAND 835 00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:25,493 ELECTRONIC CORE OF THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT'S EXECUTIVE COMMAND FLYING POST. 836 00:31:25,517 --> 00:31:27,162 DEPARTMENT'S EXECUTIVE COMMAND FLYING POST. WITH ME IS MAJOR GENERAL 837 00:31:27,186 --> 00:31:28,696 FLYING POST. WITH ME IS MAJOR GENERAL ROBERT LAZETTE, WHO IS 838 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,732 WITH ME IS MAJOR GENERAL ROBERT LAZETTE, WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MAINTENANCE 839 00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:32,467 ROBERT LAZETTE, WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MAINTENANCE OF THIS COMPLEX AIRCRAFT. 840 00:31:32,491 --> 00:31:34,169 RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MAINTENANCE OF THIS COMPLEX AIRCRAFT. MR. LAZETTE, WHAT IS THIS 841 00:31:34,193 --> 00:31:36,171 OF THIS COMPLEX AIRCRAFT. MR. LAZETTE, WHAT IS THIS CONTROL PANEL WE'RE LOOKING AT 842 00:31:36,195 --> 00:31:36,738 MR. LAZETTE, WHAT IS THIS CONTROL PANEL WE'RE LOOKING AT HERE? 843 00:31:36,762 --> 00:31:38,306 CONTROL PANEL WE'RE LOOKING AT HERE? OKAY, THIS IS A WARNING 844 00:31:38,330 --> 00:31:39,908 HERE? OKAY, THIS IS A WARNING SIGNAL TRANSMITTING AN ARMY 845 00:31:39,932 --> 00:31:41,042 OKAY, THIS IS A WARNING SIGNAL TRANSMITTING AN ARMY CONSOLE... WSTAC. 846 00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:42,244 SIGNAL TRANSMITTING AN ARMY CONSOLE... WSTAC. WE CALL IT "STACY." 847 00:31:42,268 --> 00:31:43,979 CONSOLE... WSTAC. WE CALL IT "STACY." AND WHAT IS STACY'S FUNCTION? 848 00:31:44,003 --> 00:31:44,512 WE CALL IT "STACY." AND WHAT IS STACY'S FUNCTION? OKAY. 849 00:31:44,536 --> 00:31:45,813 AND WHAT IS STACY'S FUNCTION? OKAY. IN THE INSTANCE OF A NUCLEAR 850 00:31:45,837 --> 00:31:47,249 OKAY. IN THE INSTANCE OF A NUCLEAR CONFRONTATION, PRESIDENT CARTER 851 00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:48,516 IN THE INSTANCE OF A NUCLEAR CONFRONTATION, PRESIDENT CARTER CAN BE INSIDE THE PLANE AND 852 00:31:48,540 --> 00:31:49,751 CONFRONTATION, PRESIDENT CARTER CAN BE INSIDE THE PLANE AND AIRBORNE WITHIN 10 MINUTES. 853 00:31:49,775 --> 00:31:51,152 CAN BE INSIDE THE PLANE AND AIRBORNE WITHIN 10 MINUTES. NOW THROUGH THIS CONSOLE, HE'S 854 00:31:51,176 --> 00:31:52,487 AIRBORNE WITHIN 10 MINUTES. NOW THROUGH THIS CONSOLE, HE'S HOOKED INTO THE COMMAND DATA 855 00:31:52,511 --> 00:31:53,721 NOW THROUGH THIS CONSOLE, HE'S HOOKED INTO THE COMMAND DATA BUFFER SYSTEM IN COLORADO. 856 00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,190 HOOKED INTO THE COMMAND DATA BUFFER SYSTEM IN COLORADO. HE CAN THEN PROGRAM, CANCEL, AND 857 00:31:55,214 --> 00:31:57,425 BUFFER SYSTEM IN COLORADO. HE CAN THEN PROGRAM, CANCEL, AND RESET ENEMY TARGETS FROM ON 858 00:31:57,449 --> 00:31:59,127 HE CAN THEN PROGRAM, CANCEL, AND RESET ENEMY TARGETS FROM ON BOARD THE AIRCRAFT. 859 00:31:59,151 --> 00:31:59,861 RESET ENEMY TARGETS FROM ON BOARD THE AIRCRAFT. I SEE. 860 00:31:59,885 --> 00:32:01,529 BOARD THE AIRCRAFT. I SEE. WELL, GENERAL, WITH ALL THE 861 00:32:01,553 --> 00:32:03,365 I SEE. WELL, GENERAL, WITH ALL THE FLYING WEAPONRY WHICH WOULD BE 862 00:32:03,389 --> 00:32:04,933 WELL, GENERAL, WITH ALL THE FLYING WEAPONRY WHICH WOULD BE AIRBORNE DURING A NUCLEAR 863 00:32:04,957 --> 00:32:06,634 FLYING WEAPONRY WHICH WOULD BE AIRBORNE DURING A NUCLEAR ATTACK, ISN'T A BIG AIRPLANE 864 00:32:06,658 --> 00:32:08,036 AIRBORNE DURING A NUCLEAR ATTACK, ISN'T A BIG AIRPLANE LIKE THIS PARTICULARLY 865 00:32:08,060 --> 00:32:09,704 ATTACK, ISN'T A BIG AIRPLANE LIKE THIS PARTICULARLY VULNERABLE TO, SAY, A SMALL 866 00:32:09,728 --> 00:32:11,439 LIKE THIS PARTICULARLY VULNERABLE TO, SAY, A SMALL HEAT-SEEKING OR LASER-GUIDED 867 00:32:11,463 --> 00:32:14,943 VULNERABLE TO, SAY, A SMALL HEAT-SEEKING OR LASER-GUIDED DEVICE? 868 00:32:14,967 --> 00:32:16,611 HEAT-SEEKING OR LASER-GUIDED DEVICE? UH... 869 00:32:16,635 --> 00:32:19,480 DEVICE? UH... Y-YEAH, I GUESS SO. 870 00:32:19,504 --> 00:32:21,082 UH... Y-YEAH, I GUESS SO. NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT. 871 00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:23,118 Y-YEAH, I GUESS SO. NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT. THIS IS LARAINE NEWMAN ABOARD 872 00:32:23,142 --> 00:32:24,920 NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT. THIS IS LARAINE NEWMAN ABOARD THE EXPENSIVE AND DANGEROUS 873 00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:26,288 THIS IS LARAINE NEWMAN ABOARD THE EXPENSIVE AND DANGEROUS FLYING COMMAND POST. 874 00:32:26,312 --> 00:32:27,322 THE EXPENSIVE AND DANGEROUS FLYING COMMAND POST. YOU'D SEE WHERE IT WAS GONNA 875 00:32:27,346 --> 00:32:28,223 FLYING COMMAND POST. YOU'D SEE WHERE IT WAS GONNA HIT YOU ON THIS LITTLE SCREEN 876 00:32:28,247 --> 00:32:28,623 YOU'D SEE WHERE IT WAS GONNA HIT YOU ON THIS LITTLE SCREEN HERE. 877 00:32:28,647 --> 00:32:29,524 HIT YOU ON THIS LITTLE SCREEN HERE. YOU'D SEE IT BEFORE IT HIT. 878 00:32:29,548 --> 00:32:29,991 HERE. YOU'D SEE IT BEFORE IT HIT. MM-HMM. 879 00:32:30,015 --> 00:32:32,560 YOU'D SEE IT BEFORE IT HIT. MM-HMM. TAKING IT BACK TO YOU, JANE. 880 00:32:32,584 --> 00:32:34,796 MM-HMM. TAKING IT BACK TO YOU, JANE. AN "UPDATE" CORRECTION... 881 00:32:34,820 --> 00:32:36,965 TAKING IT BACK TO YOU, JANE. AN "UPDATE" CORRECTION... LAST WEEK, WE INADVERTENTLY 882 00:32:36,989 --> 00:32:39,100 AN "UPDATE" CORRECTION... LAST WEEK, WE INADVERTENTLY REPORTED THAT SUPREME COURT 883 00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:41,403 LAST WEEK, WE INADVERTENTLY REPORTED THAT SUPREME COURT JUSTICE WARREN BURGER WON THE 884 00:32:41,427 --> 00:32:43,104 REPORTED THAT SUPREME COURT JUSTICE WARREN BURGER WON THE 1958 KENTUCKY DERBY. 885 00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:44,672 JUSTICE WARREN BURGER WON THE 1958 KENTUCKY DERBY. WELL, WE STAND CORRECTED. 886 00:32:44,696 --> 00:32:46,474 1958 KENTUCKY DERBY. WELL, WE STAND CORRECTED. WHAT WE MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT 887 00:32:46,498 --> 00:32:48,376 WELL, WE STAND CORRECTED. WHAT WE MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT TOM SNYDER IS ACTUALLY ONE OF A 888 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,211 WHAT WE MEANT TO SAY WAS THAT TOM SNYDER IS ACTUALLY ONE OF A PAIR OF SIAMESE TWINS, AND HIS 889 00:32:50,235 --> 00:32:52,113 TOM SNYDER IS ACTUALLY ONE OF A PAIR OF SIAMESE TWINS, AND HIS MUCH SMALLER SISTER SPENDS MOST 890 00:32:52,137 --> 00:32:53,949 PAIR OF SIAMESE TWINS, AND HIS MUCH SMALLER SISTER SPENDS MOST OF HER TIME INSIDE TOM'S SHIRT 891 00:32:53,973 --> 00:32:55,383 MUCH SMALLER SISTER SPENDS MOST OF HER TIME INSIDE TOM'S SHIRT DOING RESEARCH FOR THE 892 00:32:55,407 --> 00:32:58,453 OF HER TIME INSIDE TOM'S SHIRT DOING RESEARCH FOR THE "TOMORROW" SHOW. 893 00:32:58,477 --> 00:33:00,088 DOING RESEARCH FOR THE "TOMORROW" SHOW. HUGH BENNETT OF ST. LOUIS, 894 00:33:00,112 --> 00:33:02,023 "TOMORROW" SHOW. HUGH BENNETT OF ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI, IS SUING THE FOOD AND 895 00:33:02,047 --> 00:33:03,491 HUGH BENNETT OF ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI, IS SUING THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION FOR 896 00:33:03,515 --> 00:33:04,359 MISSOURI, IS SUING THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION FOR $1 MILLION. 897 00:33:04,383 --> 00:33:06,194 DRUG ADMINISTRATION FOR $1 MILLION. THE 78-YEAR-OLD BENNETT HAS AN 898 00:33:06,218 --> 00:33:07,895 $1 MILLION. THE 78-YEAR-OLD BENNETT HAS AN ELECTRONIC PACEMAKER IN HIS 899 00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:09,797 THE 78-YEAR-OLD BENNETT HAS AN ELECTRONIC PACEMAKER IN HIS HEART WHICH HE SAYS WORKS GREAT 900 00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:11,399 ELECTRONIC PACEMAKER IN HIS HEART WHICH HE SAYS WORKS GREAT EVERY TIME... EXCEPT WHEN HE 901 00:33:11,423 --> 00:33:13,201 HEART WHICH HE SAYS WORKS GREAT EVERY TIME... EXCEPT WHEN HE SNEEZES, HIS GARAGE DOOR GOES 902 00:33:13,225 --> 00:33:13,634 EVERY TIME... EXCEPT WHEN HE SNEEZES, HIS GARAGE DOOR GOES UP. 903 00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:15,736 SNEEZES, HIS GARAGE DOOR GOES UP. HIS CASE WILL BE HEARD LATER 904 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:16,771 UP. HIS CASE WILL BE HEARD LATER THIS MONTH. 905 00:33:16,795 --> 00:33:18,373 HIS CASE WILL BE HEARD LATER THIS MONTH. THIS JUST RELEASED... 906 00:33:18,397 --> 00:33:20,008 THIS MONTH. THIS JUST RELEASED... ACCORDING TO A UNITED NATIONS 907 00:33:20,032 --> 00:33:21,776 THIS JUST RELEASED... ACCORDING TO A UNITED NATIONS REPORT ON INTERNATIONAL POVERTY, 908 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:23,044 ACCORDING TO A UNITED NATIONS REPORT ON INTERNATIONAL POVERTY, IN CERTAIN THIRD WORLD 909 00:33:23,068 --> 00:33:24,779 REPORT ON INTERNATIONAL POVERTY, IN CERTAIN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES, PRINCE SPAGHETTI DAY 910 00:33:24,803 --> 00:33:27,983 IN CERTAIN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES, PRINCE SPAGHETTI DAY ONLY COMES ONCE A YEAR. 911 00:33:28,007 --> 00:33:29,617 COUNTRIES, PRINCE SPAGHETTI DAY ONLY COMES ONCE A YEAR. OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT... 912 00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:31,453 ONLY COMES ONCE A YEAR. OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT... FOODSAN COMPUTRONICS, A FIRM 913 00:33:31,477 --> 00:33:33,521 OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT... FOODSAN COMPUTRONICS, A FIRM WHICH ORDERS MEALS FOR IN-FLIGHT 914 00:33:33,545 --> 00:33:35,490 FOODSAN COMPUTRONICS, A FIRM WHICH ORDERS MEALS FOR IN-FLIGHT SERVICE FOR MANY AIRLINES, WAS 915 00:33:35,514 --> 00:33:37,359 WHICH ORDERS MEALS FOR IN-FLIGHT SERVICE FOR MANY AIRLINES, WAS FINED $3,000 BY THE CIVIL 916 00:33:37,383 --> 00:33:39,527 SERVICE FOR MANY AIRLINES, WAS FINED $3,000 BY THE CIVIL AERONAUTICS BOARD BECAUSE OF A 917 00:33:39,551 --> 00:33:41,562 FINED $3,000 BY THE CIVIL AERONAUTICS BOARD BECAUSE OF A MIX-UP ON AN EL AL FLIGHT TO 918 00:33:41,586 --> 00:33:42,430 AERONAUTICS BOARD BECAUSE OF A MIX-UP ON AN EL AL FLIGHT TO TEL AVIV. 919 00:33:42,454 --> 00:33:44,632 MIX-UP ON AN EL AL FLIGHT TO TEL AVIV. WHERE THERE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE 920 00:33:44,656 --> 00:33:46,601 TEL AVIV. WHERE THERE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE 250 MEALS CONSISTING OF 185 921 00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:48,436 WHERE THERE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE 250 MEALS CONSISTING OF 185 KOSHER, 15 NORMAL, AND 15 922 00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:50,538 250 MEALS CONSISTING OF 185 KOSHER, 15 NORMAL, AND 15 VEGETARIAN, DUE TO A COMPUTER 923 00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:52,507 KOSHER, 15 NORMAL, AND 15 VEGETARIAN, DUE TO A COMPUTER MIX-UP, ONLY 180 KOSHER, 42 924 00:33:52,531 --> 00:33:54,642 VEGETARIAN, DUE TO A COMPUTER MIX-UP, ONLY 180 KOSHER, 42 NORMAL, AND 3 VEGETARIAN MEALS 925 00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:55,743 MIX-UP, ONLY 180 KOSHER, 42 NORMAL, AND 3 VEGETARIAN MEALS WERE ORDERED. 926 00:33:55,767 --> 00:33:57,412 NORMAL, AND 3 VEGETARIAN MEALS WERE ORDERED. AS A RESULT, THE REMAINING 25 927 00:33:57,436 --> 00:33:59,080 WERE ORDERED. AS A RESULT, THE REMAINING 25 PASSENGERS WITHOUT MEALS WERE 928 00:33:59,104 --> 00:34:00,648 AS A RESULT, THE REMAINING 25 PASSENGERS WITHOUT MEALS WERE FORCED TO BEG SCRAPS OF THE 929 00:34:00,672 --> 00:34:02,450 PASSENGERS WITHOUT MEALS WERE FORCED TO BEG SCRAPS OF THE APPROPRIATE LEFTOVERS FROM OTHER 930 00:34:02,474 --> 00:34:04,219 FORCED TO BEG SCRAPS OF THE APPROPRIATE LEFTOVERS FROM OTHER PASSENGERS, CLOGGING THE AISLES 931 00:34:04,243 --> 00:34:05,953 APPROPRIATE LEFTOVERS FROM OTHER PASSENGERS, CLOGGING THE AISLES AND MAKING THE MEAL SERVICE AN 932 00:34:05,977 --> 00:34:07,555 PASSENGERS, CLOGGING THE AISLES AND MAKING THE MEAL SERVICE AN UNPLEASANT AND MESSY AFFAIR. 933 00:34:07,579 --> 00:34:09,790 AND MAKING THE MEAL SERVICE AN UNPLEASANT AND MESSY AFFAIR. SAID PASSENGER ISAAC SINGER, "AT 934 00:34:09,814 --> 00:34:11,692 UNPLEASANT AND MESSY AFFAIR. SAID PASSENGER ISAAC SINGER, "AT LEAST, THANK GOD, THERE WAS 935 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:13,194 SAID PASSENGER ISAAC SINGER, "AT LEAST, THANK GOD, THERE WAS ENOUGH TO GO AROUND. 936 00:34:13,218 --> 00:34:14,262 LEAST, THANK GOD, THERE WAS ENOUGH TO GO AROUND. OTHERWISE, WE SHOULD ALL STARVE 937 00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:15,230 ENOUGH TO GO AROUND. OTHERWISE, WE SHOULD ALL STARVE IN THE SKY." 938 00:34:15,254 --> 00:34:17,198 OTHERWISE, WE SHOULD ALL STARVE IN THE SKY." GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT 939 00:34:17,222 --> 00:34:20,357 IN THE SKY." GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. 940 00:34:24,228 --> 00:34:27,608 PLACES, PLEASE, FOR "BROADWAY BABY." PLACES, PLEASE. 941 00:34:27,632 --> 00:34:31,246 BABY." PLACES, PLEASE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 942 00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:32,680 PLACES, PLEASE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. AND NOW, LADIES AND 943 00:34:32,704 --> 00:34:35,183 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LILY TOMLIN. 944 00:34:35,207 --> 00:34:38,141 AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LILY TOMLIN. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 945 00:34:45,849 --> 00:34:49,931 LILY, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU ALL NIGHT HOW GREAT IT IS I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE ON 946 00:34:49,955 --> 00:34:50,532 YOU ALL NIGHT HOW GREAT IT IS I THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE ON BROADWAY. 947 00:34:50,556 --> 00:34:52,200 THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE ON BROADWAY. WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M GONNA BE 948 00:34:52,224 --> 00:34:53,568 BROADWAY. WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M GONNA BE AT THE BILTMORE IN MARCH. 949 00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:55,236 WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M GONNA BE AT THE BILTMORE IN MARCH. WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, LILY. 950 00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:55,970 AT THE BILTMORE IN MARCH. WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, LILY. IT'S GREAT. 951 00:34:55,994 --> 00:34:57,572 WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, LILY. IT'S GREAT. THANKS, BUT I REALLY DESERVE 952 00:34:57,596 --> 00:34:58,039 IT'S GREAT. THANKS, BUT I REALLY DESERVE THIS. 953 00:34:58,063 --> 00:34:59,707 THANKS, BUT I REALLY DESERVE THIS. I'VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD EVER 954 00:34:59,731 --> 00:35:01,443 THIS. I'VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD EVER SINCE I FIRST STARTED OUT IN THE 955 00:35:01,467 --> 00:35:03,411 I'VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD EVER SINCE I FIRST STARTED OUT IN THE EARLY 1930s. 956 00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:05,313 SINCE I FIRST STARTED OUT IN THE EARLY 1930s. BROADWAY'S BEEN A DREAM OF MINE 957 00:35:05,337 --> 00:35:07,282 EARLY 1930s. BROADWAY'S BEEN A DREAM OF MINE FOR SO LONG... NOT JUST OF MINE, 958 00:35:07,306 --> 00:35:09,250 BROADWAY'S BEEN A DREAM OF MINE FOR SO LONG... NOT JUST OF MINE, BUT OF GILDA'S AND LARAINE'S AND 959 00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:09,884 FOR SO LONG... NOT JUST OF MINE, BUT OF GILDA'S AND LARAINE'S AND JANE'S. 960 00:35:09,908 --> 00:35:12,420 BUT OF GILDA'S AND LARAINE'S AND JANE'S. I REMEMBER WHEN I MET THEM IN 961 00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:13,154 JANE'S. I REMEMBER WHEN I MET THEM IN 1934. 962 00:35:13,178 --> 00:35:14,222 I REMEMBER WHEN I MET THEM IN 1934. WE WERE FLAT BROKE. 963 00:35:14,246 --> 00:35:15,756 1934. WE WERE FLAT BROKE. GOSH, I DON'T KNOW HOW WE KEPT 964 00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:16,624 WE WERE FLAT BROKE. GOSH, I DON'T KNOW HOW WE KEPT OUR SPIRITS UP. 965 00:35:16,648 --> 00:35:18,693 GOSH, I DON'T KNOW HOW WE KEPT OUR SPIRITS UP. OUR HOPES FOR SUCCESS DIMMED 966 00:35:18,717 --> 00:35:20,027 OUR SPIRITS UP. OUR HOPES FOR SUCCESS DIMMED TIME AFTER TIME. 967 00:35:20,051 --> 00:35:21,829 OUR HOPES FOR SUCCESS DIMMED TIME AFTER TIME. BUT WE JUST ATE, SLEPT, AND 968 00:35:21,853 --> 00:35:23,030 TIME AFTER TIME. BUT WE JUST ATE, SLEPT, AND DREAMT BROADWAY. 969 00:35:23,054 --> 00:35:24,332 BUT WE JUST ATE, SLEPT, AND DREAMT BROADWAY. WE REALLY DID. 970 00:35:24,356 --> 00:35:26,601 DREAMT BROADWAY. WE REALLY DID. ONCE BEFORE THE WAR, WE EVEN 971 00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:29,170 WE REALLY DID. ONCE BEFORE THE WAR, WE EVEN SHARED A ONE-ROOM DUMP TOGETHER. 972 00:35:29,194 --> 00:35:31,306 ONCE BEFORE THE WAR, WE EVEN SHARED A ONE-ROOM DUMP TOGETHER. I REMEMBER A DAY... IT WAS 973 00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:32,540 SHARED A ONE-ROOM DUMP TOGETHER. I REMEMBER A DAY... IT WAS JUNE 6, 1938. 974 00:35:32,564 --> 00:35:34,041 I REMEMBER A DAY... IT WAS JUNE 6, 1938. IT WAS A TUESDAY. 975 00:35:34,065 --> 00:35:36,277 JUNE 6, 1938. IT WAS A TUESDAY. I WAS HOLDING A BAR RAG, NOT 976 00:35:36,301 --> 00:35:38,713 IT WAS A TUESDAY. I WAS HOLDING A BAR RAG, NOT UNLIKE THE ONE I'M HOLDING NOW. 977 00:35:38,737 --> 00:35:40,948 I WAS HOLDING A BAR RAG, NOT UNLIKE THE ONE I'M HOLDING NOW. IT WAS DAMP AGAINST MY PALM. 978 00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,650 UNLIKE THE ONE I'M HOLDING NOW. IT WAS DAMP AGAINST MY PALM. I WAS SORT OF WIPING THE 979 00:35:42,674 --> 00:35:44,452 IT WAS DAMP AGAINST MY PALM. I WAS SORT OF WIPING THE COUNTER, LIKE THIS, IN THIS 980 00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:46,387 I WAS SORT OF WIPING THE COUNTER, LIKE THIS, IN THIS SLEAZY CAFé I WAS WORKING IN. 981 00:35:46,411 --> 00:35:48,223 COUNTER, LIKE THIS, IN THIS SLEAZY CAFé I WAS WORKING IN. I NOTICED A PIECE OF SPONGE CAKE 982 00:35:48,247 --> 00:35:49,224 SLEAZY CAFé I WAS WORKING IN. I NOTICED A PIECE OF SPONGE CAKE ON THE COUNTER. 983 00:35:49,248 --> 00:35:50,225 I NOTICED A PIECE OF SPONGE CAKE ON THE COUNTER. I PICKED IT UP. 984 00:35:50,249 --> 00:35:51,959 ON THE COUNTER. I PICKED IT UP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME. 985 00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:53,228 I PICKED IT UP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME. I JUST STARTED SINGING. 986 00:35:53,252 --> 00:35:55,963 I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME. I JUST STARTED SINGING. [MUSIC BEGINS] 987 00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:59,734 I JUST STARTED SINGING. [MUSIC BEGINS] ♪ I'M JUST A BROADWAY BABY ♪ 988 00:35:59,758 --> 00:36:03,070 [MUSIC BEGINS] ♪ I'M JUST A BROADWAY BABY ♪ ♪ SLAVIN' AT A FIVE-AND-TEN ♪ 989 00:36:03,094 --> 00:36:05,607 ♪ I'M JUST A BROADWAY BABY ♪ ♪ SLAVIN' AT A FIVE-AND-TEN ♪ ♪ WAITIN' FOR THE BIG DAY WHEN 990 00:36:05,631 --> 00:36:09,777 ♪ SLAVIN' AT A FIVE-AND-TEN ♪ ♪ WAITIN' FOR THE BIG DAY WHEN I'LL BE IN A SHOW ♪ 991 00:36:09,801 --> 00:36:13,080 ♪ WAITIN' FOR THE BIG DAY WHEN I'LL BE IN A SHOW ♪ ♪ BROADWAY BABY ♪ 992 00:36:13,104 --> 00:36:16,551 I'LL BE IN A SHOW ♪ ♪ BROADWAY BABY ♪ ♪ MAKIN' ROUNDS ALL AFTERNOON ♪ 993 00:36:16,575 --> 00:36:18,719 ♪ BROADWAY BABY ♪ ♪ MAKIN' ROUNDS ALL AFTERNOON ♪ ♪ EATIN' AT A GREASY SPOON 994 00:36:18,743 --> 00:36:23,258 ♪ MAKIN' ROUNDS ALL AFTERNOON ♪ ♪ EATIN' AT A GREASY SPOON TO SAVE ON MY DO-O-O-UGH ♪ 995 00:36:23,282 --> 00:36:25,926 ♪ EATIN' AT A GREASY SPOON TO SAVE ON MY DO-O-O-UGH ♪ ♪ AT MY TINY FLAT 996 00:36:25,950 --> 00:36:28,363 TO SAVE ON MY DO-O-O-UGH ♪ ♪ AT MY TINY FLAT THERE'S JUST MY CAT, 997 00:36:28,387 --> 00:36:29,964 ♪ AT MY TINY FLAT THERE'S JUST MY CAT, A BED, AND A CHAIR ♪ 998 00:36:29,988 --> 00:36:32,667 THERE'S JUST MY CAT, A BED, AND A CHAIR ♪ ♪ STILL I'LL STICK IT TILL 999 00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:34,402 A BED, AND A CHAIR ♪ ♪ STILL I'LL STICK IT TILL I'M ON A BILL 1000 00:36:34,426 --> 00:36:36,504 ♪ STILL I'LL STICK IT TILL I'M ON A BILL ALL OVER TIMES SQUARE ♪ 1001 00:36:36,528 --> 00:36:39,707 I'M ON A BILL ALL OVER TIMES SQUARE ♪ ♪ I'M JUST A BROADWAY BABY ♪ 1002 00:36:39,731 --> 00:36:43,378 ALL OVER TIMES SQUARE ♪ ♪ I'M JUST A BROADWAY BABY ♪ ♪ WALKIN' OFF MY TIRED FEET ♪ 1003 00:36:43,402 --> 00:36:45,713 ♪ I'M JUST A BROADWAY BABY ♪ ♪ WALKIN' OFF MY TIRED FEET ♪ ♪ POUNDIN' 42nd STREET 1004 00:36:45,737 --> 00:36:49,551 ♪ WALKIN' OFF MY TIRED FEET ♪ ♪ POUNDIN' 42nd STREET TO BE IN A SHOW ♪ 1005 00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:53,388 ♪ POUNDIN' 42nd STREET TO BE IN A SHOW ♪ ♪ BROADWAY BABY ♪ 1006 00:36:53,412 --> 00:36:54,556 TO BE IN A SHOW ♪ ♪ BROADWAY BABY ♪ ♪ LEARNIN' HOW TO SING 1007 00:36:54,580 --> 00:36:56,457 ♪ BROADWAY BABY ♪ ♪ LEARNIN' HOW TO SING AND DANCE ♪ 1008 00:36:56,481 --> 00:36:58,793 ♪ LEARNIN' HOW TO SING AND DANCE ♪ ♪ WAITIN' FOR THE ONE BIG CHANCE 1009 00:36:58,817 --> 00:37:03,464 AND DANCE ♪ ♪ WAITIN' FOR THE ONE BIG CHANCE TO BE IN A SHO-O-O-W ♪ 1010 00:37:03,488 --> 00:37:05,900 ♪ WAITIN' FOR THE ONE BIG CHANCE TO BE IN A SHO-O-O-W ♪ ♪ GEE, I'D LIKE TO BE 1011 00:37:05,924 --> 00:37:07,902 TO BE IN A SHO-O-O-W ♪ ♪ GEE, I'D LIKE TO BE ON SOME MARQUIS, 1012 00:37:07,926 --> 00:37:09,571 ♪ GEE, I'D LIKE TO BE ON SOME MARQUIS, ALL TWINKLIN' LIGHTS ♪ 1013 00:37:09,595 --> 00:37:12,307 ON SOME MARQUIS, ALL TWINKLIN' LIGHTS ♪ ♪ A SPARK TO PIERCE THE DARK 1014 00:37:12,331 --> 00:37:14,008 ALL TWINKLIN' LIGHTS ♪ ♪ A SPARK TO PIERCE THE DARK FROM BATTERY PARK 1015 00:37:14,032 --> 00:37:16,377 ♪ A SPARK TO PIERCE THE DARK FROM BATTERY PARK WAY UP TO WASHINGTON HEIGHTS ♪ 1016 00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:19,947 FROM BATTERY PARK WAY UP TO WASHINGTON HEIGHTS ♪ ♪ SOMEDAY MAYBE ♪ 1017 00:37:19,971 --> 00:37:23,117 WAY UP TO WASHINGTON HEIGHTS ♪ ♪ SOMEDAY MAYBE ♪ ♪ ALL MY DREAMS WILL BE REPAID ♪ 1018 00:37:23,141 --> 00:37:24,385 ♪ SOMEDAY MAYBE ♪ ♪ ALL MY DREAMS WILL BE REPAID ♪ ♪ HELL, I'D EVEN PLAY 1019 00:37:24,409 --> 00:37:25,687 ♪ ALL MY DREAMS WILL BE REPAID ♪ ♪ HELL, I'D EVEN PLAY THE MAID ♪ 1020 00:37:25,711 --> 00:37:29,524 ♪ HELL, I'D EVEN PLAY THE MAID ♪ ♪ TO BE IN A SHOW ♪ 1021 00:37:29,548 --> 00:37:32,560 THE MAID ♪ ♪ TO BE IN A SHOW ♪ ♪ SAY, MR. PRODUCER ♪ 1022 00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:33,728 ♪ TO BE IN A SHOW ♪ ♪ SAY, MR. PRODUCER ♪ ♪ YEAH? ♪ 1023 00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:36,431 ♪ SAY, MR. PRODUCER ♪ ♪ YEAH? ♪ ♪ I'M TALKING TO YOU, SIR ♪ 1024 00:37:36,455 --> 00:37:37,898 ♪ YEAH? ♪ ♪ I'M TALKING TO YOU, SIR ♪ ♪ I DON'T NEED A LOT, 1025 00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:39,133 ♪ I'M TALKING TO YOU, SIR ♪ ♪ I DON'T NEED A LOT, ONLY WHAT I GOT ♪ 1026 00:37:39,157 --> 00:37:41,035 ♪ I DON'T NEED A LOT, ONLY WHAT I GOT ♪ ♪ PLUS, A TUBE OF GREASEPAINT 1027 00:37:41,059 --> 00:37:42,704 ONLY WHAT I GOT ♪ ♪ PLUS, A TUBE OF GREASEPAINT AND A FOLLOW SPOT ♪ 1028 00:37:42,728 --> 00:37:46,274 ♪ PLUS, A TUBE OF GREASEPAINT AND A FOLLOW SPOT ♪ ♪ SOMEDAY MAYBE ♪ 1029 00:37:46,298 --> 00:37:49,477 AND A FOLLOW SPOT ♪ ♪ SOMEDAY MAYBE ♪ ♪ IF I STICK IT LONG ENOUGH ♪ 1030 00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:50,345 ♪ SOMEDAY MAYBE ♪ ♪ IF I STICK IT LONG ENOUGH ♪ ♪ I MIGHT GET 1031 00:37:50,369 --> 00:37:52,380 ♪ IF I STICK IT LONG ENOUGH ♪ ♪ I MIGHT GET TO STRUT MY STUFF ♪ 1032 00:37:52,404 --> 00:37:53,814 ♪ I MIGHT GET TO STRUT MY STUFF ♪ ♪ IN A BIG... ♪ 1033 00:37:53,838 --> 00:37:54,582 TO STRUT MY STUFF ♪ ♪ IN A BIG... ♪ ♪ TIME... ♪ 1034 00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:55,416 ♪ IN A BIG... ♪ ♪ TIME... ♪ ♪ BROAD... ♪ 1035 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:56,651 ♪ TIME... ♪ ♪ BROAD... ♪ ♪ WAY ♪ 1036 00:37:56,675 --> 00:37:57,918 ♪ BROAD... ♪ ♪ WAY ♪ ♪ I DON'T NEED A LOT ♪ 1037 00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,387 ♪ WAY ♪ ♪ I DON'T NEED A LOT ♪ ♪ ONLY WHAT I'VE GOT ♪ 1038 00:37:59,411 --> 00:38:00,255 ♪ I DON'T NEED A LOT ♪ ♪ ONLY WHAT I'VE GOT ♪ ♪ PLUS, A TUBE 1039 00:38:00,279 --> 00:38:01,055 ♪ ONLY WHAT I'VE GOT ♪ ♪ PLUS, A TUBE OF GREASEPAINT ♪ 1040 00:38:01,079 --> 00:38:02,857 ♪ PLUS, A TUBE OF GREASEPAINT ♪ ♪ AND A FOLLOW SPOT ♪ 1041 00:38:02,881 --> 00:38:04,359 OF GREASEPAINT ♪ ♪ AND A FOLLOW SPOT ♪ ♪ IN A BIG-TIME 1042 00:38:04,383 --> 00:38:09,986 ♪ AND A FOLLOW SPOT ♪ ♪ IN A BIG-TIME BROADWAY SHOW ♪ 1043 00:38:27,104 --> 00:38:32,820 I'M SORRY, MR. AND MRS. DIONOSOPOLIS, BUT YOUR SON CAN'T GET ANY CLOSER TO DEATH 1044 00:38:32,844 --> 00:38:35,690 MRS. DIONOSOPOLIS, BUT YOUR SON CAN'T GET ANY CLOSER TO DEATH THAN HE IS RIGHT NOW. 1045 00:38:35,714 --> 00:38:38,125 CAN'T GET ANY CLOSER TO DEATH THAN HE IS RIGHT NOW. TOMORROW'S HIS BIRTHDAY. 1046 00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:40,295 THAN HE IS RIGHT NOW. TOMORROW'S HIS BIRTHDAY. DOCTOR, ISN'T THERE A CHANCE 1047 00:38:40,319 --> 00:38:41,562 TOMORROW'S HIS BIRTHDAY. DOCTOR, ISN'T THERE A CHANCE THAT BUDDY COULD COME OUT OF 1048 00:38:41,586 --> 00:38:42,129 DOCTOR, ISN'T THERE A CHANCE THAT BUDDY COULD COME OUT OF THIS COMA? 1049 00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:43,364 THAT BUDDY COULD COME OUT OF THIS COMA? WELL, LET ME PUT IT THIS 1050 00:38:43,388 --> 00:38:43,731 THIS COMA? WELL, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY. 1051 00:38:43,755 --> 00:38:44,799 WELL, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY. IF YOU WANT TO GET BUDDY 1052 00:38:44,823 --> 00:38:46,133 WAY. IF YOU WANT TO GET BUDDY SOMETHING FOR HIS BIRTHDAY, I'D 1053 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:49,570 IF YOU WANT TO GET BUDDY SOMETHING FOR HIS BIRTHDAY, I'D SUGGEST MOSS FOR HIS NORTH SIDE. 1054 00:38:49,594 --> 00:38:51,105 SOMETHING FOR HIS BIRTHDAY, I'D SUGGEST MOSS FOR HIS NORTH SIDE. [CRYING] 1055 00:38:51,129 --> 00:38:51,706 SUGGEST MOSS FOR HIS NORTH SIDE. [CRYING] HEY! 1056 00:38:51,730 --> 00:38:53,608 [CRYING] HEY! JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN THINGS UP 1057 00:38:53,632 --> 00:38:54,542 HEY! JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN THINGS UP A LITTLE BIT! 1058 00:38:54,566 --> 00:38:56,143 JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN THINGS UP A LITTLE BIT! THANK YOU, DOCTOR. 1059 00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:57,478 A LITTLE BIT! THANK YOU, DOCTOR. IT'S A GOOD JOKE. 1060 00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:58,513 THANK YOU, DOCTOR. IT'S A GOOD JOKE. IT IS. 1061 00:38:58,537 --> 00:38:59,880 IT'S A GOOD JOKE. IT IS. I'M SURE THAT BUDDY WOULD HAVE 1062 00:38:59,904 --> 00:39:00,381 IT IS. I'M SURE THAT BUDDY WOULD HAVE LAUGHED. 1063 00:39:00,405 --> 00:39:01,882 I'M SURE THAT BUDDY WOULD HAVE LAUGHED. WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW 1064 00:39:01,906 --> 00:39:03,618 LAUGHED. WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THE MACHINE THAT KEEPS 1065 00:39:03,642 --> 00:39:05,320 WELL, I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THE MACHINE THAT KEEPS BUDDY ALIVE IS COSTING YOU $500 1066 00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:06,187 THAT THE MACHINE THAT KEEPS BUDDY ALIVE IS COSTING YOU $500 A DAY. 1067 00:39:06,211 --> 00:39:10,391 BUDDY ALIVE IS COSTING YOU $500 A DAY. [MONITOR BEEPING] 1068 00:39:10,415 --> 00:39:11,926 A DAY. [MONITOR BEEPING] I THINK YOU'D BETTER PULL THE 1069 00:39:11,950 --> 00:39:12,694 [MONITOR BEEPING] I THINK YOU'D BETTER PULL THE PLUG, DOCTOR. 1070 00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:14,429 I THINK YOU'D BETTER PULL THE PLUG, DOCTOR. BUDDY! 1071 00:39:14,453 --> 00:39:15,930 PLUG, DOCTOR. BUDDY! NOW YOU HEARD WHAT THE MAN 1072 00:39:15,954 --> 00:39:16,364 BUDDY! NOW YOU HEARD WHAT THE MAN SAID. 1073 00:39:16,388 --> 00:39:18,633 NOW YOU HEARD WHAT THE MAN SAID. BUDDY HAS NO MOTOR REFLEXES, HIS 1074 00:39:18,657 --> 00:39:20,100 SAID. BUDDY HAS NO MOTOR REFLEXES, HIS MIND IS GONE. 1075 00:39:20,124 --> 00:39:21,336 BUDDY HAS NO MOTOR REFLEXES, HIS MIND IS GONE. DO YOU THINK HE'S HAVING FUN? 1076 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,604 MIND IS GONE. DO YOU THINK HE'S HAVING FUN? LOOK AT THAT! 1077 00:39:23,628 --> 00:39:24,806 DO YOU THINK HE'S HAVING FUN? LOOK AT THAT! NOW LISTEN. 1078 00:39:24,830 --> 00:39:26,774 LOOK AT THAT! NOW LISTEN. ACCORDING TO LAW, I CANNOT 1079 00:39:26,798 --> 00:39:28,810 NOW LISTEN. ACCORDING TO LAW, I CANNOT DELIBERATELY PULL THE PLUG. 1080 00:39:28,834 --> 00:39:30,611 ACCORDING TO LAW, I CANNOT DELIBERATELY PULL THE PLUG. I SEE. 1081 00:39:30,635 --> 00:39:35,416 DELIBERATELY PULL THE PLUG. I SEE. BUT, UH, IF THE PLUG WERE TO, 1082 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,586 I SEE. BUT, UH, IF THE PLUG WERE TO, UH, "ACCIDENTALLY" BE PULLED 1083 00:39:38,610 --> 00:39:39,554 BUT, UH, IF THE PLUG WERE TO, UH, "ACCIDENTALLY" BE PULLED FROM THE WALL, I DON'T THINK 1084 00:39:39,578 --> 00:39:40,888 UH, "ACCIDENTALLY" BE PULLED FROM THE WALL, I DON'T THINK ANYBODY'S GONNA MAKE A FEDERAL 1085 00:39:40,912 --> 00:39:42,423 FROM THE WALL, I DON'T THINK ANYBODY'S GONNA MAKE A FEDERAL CASE OUT OF IT. 1086 00:39:42,447 --> 00:39:43,324 ANYBODY'S GONNA MAKE A FEDERAL CASE OUT OF IT. I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M 1087 00:39:43,348 --> 00:39:44,091 CASE OUT OF IT. I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, HUH? 1088 00:39:44,115 --> 00:39:45,827 I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, HUH? MM-HMM. 1089 00:39:45,851 --> 00:39:46,994 TALKING ABOUT, HUH? MM-HMM. WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD PROBABLY 1090 00:39:47,018 --> 00:39:48,696 MM-HMM. WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY. 1091 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:49,831 WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY. HONEY! 1092 00:39:49,855 --> 00:39:51,766 JUST PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY. HONEY! CATHY, I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS, 1093 00:39:51,790 --> 00:39:54,001 HONEY! CATHY, I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS, BUT ABOUT A YEAR AGO, BUDDY CAME 1094 00:39:54,025 --> 00:39:56,604 CATHY, I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS, BUT ABOUT A YEAR AGO, BUDDY CAME TO ME, AND HE SAID, "DAD, IF I'M 1095 00:39:56,628 --> 00:39:58,038 BUT ABOUT A YEAR AGO, BUDDY CAME TO ME, AND HE SAID, "DAD, IF I'M EVER IN A BAD ACCIDENT AT WORK, 1096 00:39:58,062 --> 00:39:59,173 TO ME, AND HE SAID, "DAD, IF I'M EVER IN A BAD ACCIDENT AT WORK, AND I'M HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A 1097 00:39:59,197 --> 00:40:00,274 EVER IN A BAD ACCIDENT AT WORK, AND I'M HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER AND LAPSE INTO A 1098 00:40:00,298 --> 00:40:02,777 AND I'M HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER AND LAPSE INTO A COMA AND HAVE TO BE KEPT ALIVE 1099 00:40:02,801 --> 00:40:05,413 SLEDGEHAMMER AND LAPSE INTO A COMA AND HAVE TO BE KEPT ALIVE BY A MACHINE, I WANT TO DIE WITH 1100 00:40:05,437 --> 00:40:06,714 COMA AND HAVE TO BE KEPT ALIVE BY A MACHINE, I WANT TO DIE WITH DIGNITY. 1101 00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:09,450 BY A MACHINE, I WANT TO DIE WITH DIGNITY. SO PLEASE PULL THE PLUG." 1102 00:40:09,474 --> 00:40:11,853 DIGNITY. SO PLEASE PULL THE PLUG." WELL, IF THAT'S THE WAY THAT 1103 00:40:11,877 --> 00:40:14,154 SO PLEASE PULL THE PLUG." WELL, IF THAT'S THE WAY THAT BUDDY WANTS IT, THEN PULL THE 1104 00:40:14,178 --> 00:40:15,289 WELL, IF THAT'S THE WAY THAT BUDDY WANTS IT, THEN PULL THE PLUG. 1105 00:40:15,313 --> 00:40:16,323 BUDDY WANTS IT, THEN PULL THE PLUG. ACCIDENTALLY. 1106 00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:17,492 PLUG. ACCIDENTALLY. ACCIDENTALLY. 1107 00:40:17,516 --> 00:40:18,493 ACCIDENTALLY. ACCIDENTALLY. ACCIDENTALLY. 1108 00:40:18,517 --> 00:40:19,026 ACCIDENTALLY. ACCIDENTALLY. OKAY! 1109 00:40:19,050 --> 00:40:20,194 ACCIDENTALLY. OKAY! WELL, HEY, I'VE GOT TO 1110 00:40:20,218 --> 00:40:21,496 OKAY! WELL, HEY, I'VE GOT TO [CLEARS THROAT] RUN UP TO 1111 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:22,062 WELL, HEY, I'VE GOT TO [CLEARS THROAT] RUN UP TO SURGERY. 1112 00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:23,631 [CLEARS THROAT] RUN UP TO SURGERY. I'M KIND OF LATE RIGHT NOW. 1113 00:40:23,655 --> 00:40:25,966 SURGERY. I'M KIND OF LATE RIGHT NOW. SO I'LL PROBABLY BE TAKING OFF! 1114 00:40:25,990 --> 00:40:26,801 I'M KIND OF LATE RIGHT NOW. SO I'LL PROBABLY BE TAKING OFF! SEE YOU LATER. 1115 00:40:26,825 --> 00:40:30,938 SO I'LL PROBABLY BE TAKING OFF! SEE YOU LATER. THEY'RE CALLING ME! 1116 00:40:30,962 --> 00:40:32,507 SEE YOU LATER. THEY'RE CALLING ME! OH, NO! 1117 00:40:32,531 --> 00:40:34,776 THEY'RE CALLING ME! OH, NO! MY LEG IS TANGLED IN THE CORD! 1118 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:35,843 OH, NO! MY LEG IS TANGLED IN THE CORD! IT COULD CUT OFF THE 1119 00:40:35,867 --> 00:40:37,144 MY LEG IS TANGLED IN THE CORD! IT COULD CUT OFF THE CIRCULATION! 1120 00:40:37,168 --> 00:40:38,145 IT COULD CUT OFF THE CIRCULATION! HELP ME! 1121 00:40:38,169 --> 00:40:38,880 CIRCULATION! HELP ME! OKAY. 1122 00:40:38,904 --> 00:40:39,480 HELP ME! OKAY. HERE, HERE. 1123 00:40:39,504 --> 00:40:40,214 OKAY. HERE, HERE. LET ME GET YOUR FOOT OUT. 1124 00:40:40,238 --> 00:40:40,681 HERE, HERE. LET ME GET YOUR FOOT OUT. YEAH! 1125 00:40:40,705 --> 00:40:43,706 LET ME GET YOUR FOOT OUT. YEAH! MAYBE WE CAN JUST PULL ON IT. 1126 00:40:50,047 --> 00:40:53,428 HI, MOM! HI, DAD! I'M NOT IN A COMA ANYMORE! 1127 00:40:53,452 --> 00:40:56,931 HI, DAD! I'M NOT IN A COMA ANYMORE! BUDDY! 1128 00:40:56,955 --> 00:41:04,955 I'M NOT IN A COMA ANYMORE! BUDDY! OH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1129 00:41:06,598 --> 00:41:09,710 BUDDY! OH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WERE YOU PULLING THE PLUG ON ME? 1130 00:41:09,734 --> 00:41:11,546 OH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WERE YOU PULLING THE PLUG ON ME? BUDDY, THE DOCTOR TOLD US YOU 1131 00:41:11,570 --> 00:41:12,613 WERE YOU PULLING THE PLUG ON ME? BUDDY, THE DOCTOR TOLD US YOU WERE A VEGETABLE. 1132 00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:15,917 BUDDY, THE DOCTOR TOLD US YOU WERE A VEGETABLE. I, FOR ONE, AM BAFFLED! 1133 00:41:15,941 --> 00:41:18,152 WERE A VEGETABLE. I, FOR ONE, AM BAFFLED! BUT PULLING THE PLUG? 1134 00:41:18,176 --> 00:41:19,620 I, FOR ONE, AM BAFFLED! BUT PULLING THE PLUG? HONEY, WE WERE JUST DOING 1135 00:41:19,644 --> 00:41:21,188 BUT PULLING THE PLUG? HONEY, WE WERE JUST DOING WHAT YOU TOLD YOUR FATHER ABOUT 1136 00:41:21,212 --> 00:41:22,590 HONEY, WE WERE JUST DOING WHAT YOU TOLD YOUR FATHER ABOUT "DYING WITH DIGNITY," YOU KNOW? 1137 00:41:22,614 --> 00:41:24,058 WHAT YOU TOLD YOUR FATHER ABOUT "DYING WITH DIGNITY," YOU KNOW? IF YOU EVER GOT HIT IN THE HEAD 1138 00:41:24,082 --> 00:41:25,460 "DYING WITH DIGNITY," YOU KNOW? IF YOU EVER GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER AND HAD TO 1139 00:41:25,484 --> 00:41:26,994 IF YOU EVER GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER AND HAD TO BE KEPT ALIVE BY MACHINES? 1140 00:41:27,018 --> 00:41:28,128 WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER AND HAD TO BE KEPT ALIVE BY MACHINES? YOU REMEMBER. 1141 00:41:28,152 --> 00:41:29,263 BE KEPT ALIVE BY MACHINES? YOU REMEMBER. I NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE 1142 00:41:29,287 --> 00:41:30,431 YOU REMEMBER. I NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT, MOM. 1143 00:41:30,455 --> 00:41:31,298 I NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT, MOM. OH, YEAH. 1144 00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:32,800 THAT, MOM. OH, YEAH. YOU REMEMBER, DON'T YOU? 1145 00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:34,401 OH, YEAH. YOU REMEMBER, DON'T YOU? IT WAS THAT ONE DAY, REMEMBER? 1146 00:41:34,425 --> 00:41:35,536 YOU REMEMBER, DON'T YOU? IT WAS THAT ONE DAY, REMEMBER? YOU WEREN'T ACTING YOURSELF. 1147 00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:36,471 IT WAS THAT ONE DAY, REMEMBER? YOU WEREN'T ACTING YOURSELF. YOU WERE REAL STRANGE. 1148 00:41:36,495 --> 00:41:37,538 YOU WEREN'T ACTING YOURSELF. YOU WERE REAL STRANGE. I THOUGHT, "GEE, THAT'S NOT LIKE 1149 00:41:37,562 --> 00:41:38,606 YOU WERE REAL STRANGE. I THOUGHT, "GEE, THAT'S NOT LIKE BUDDY, WANTS TO DIE LIKE THAT." 1150 00:41:38,630 --> 00:41:39,440 I THOUGHT, "GEE, THAT'S NOT LIKE BUDDY, WANTS TO DIE LIKE THAT." BUT I FIGURED, "WHAT THE HECK? 1151 00:41:39,464 --> 00:41:40,441 BUDDY, WANTS TO DIE LIKE THAT." BUT I FIGURED, "WHAT THE HECK? OKAY." 1152 00:41:40,465 --> 00:41:41,208 BUT I FIGURED, "WHAT THE HECK? OKAY." YOU SAID IT, THOUGH! 1153 00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:41,909 OKAY." YOU SAID IT, THOUGH! YOU SAID IT. 1154 00:41:41,933 --> 00:41:42,810 YOU SAID IT, THOUGH! YOU SAID IT. YOU JUST FORGOT. 1155 00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:44,946 YOU SAID IT. YOU JUST FORGOT. I PROBABLY FORGOT. 1156 00:41:44,970 --> 00:41:46,280 YOU JUST FORGOT. I PROBABLY FORGOT. WELL, BUDDY, YOU FEEL GOOD 1157 00:41:46,304 --> 00:41:47,114 I PROBABLY FORGOT. WELL, BUDDY, YOU FEEL GOOD ENOUGH TO GO HOME? 1158 00:41:47,138 --> 00:41:48,115 WELL, BUDDY, YOU FEEL GOOD ENOUGH TO GO HOME? I GOT A LITTLE HEADACHE, BUT 1159 00:41:48,139 --> 00:41:50,150 ENOUGH TO GO HOME? I GOT A LITTLE HEADACHE, BUT I FEEL JUST GREAT! 1160 00:41:50,174 --> 00:41:51,285 I GOT A LITTLE HEADACHE, BUT I FEEL JUST GREAT! ALL RIGHT. 1161 00:41:51,309 --> 00:41:53,120 I FEEL JUST GREAT! ALL RIGHT. I'LL FIX YOU A NICE, BIG 1162 00:41:53,144 --> 00:41:53,754 ALL RIGHT. I'LL FIX YOU A NICE, BIG LUNCH. 1163 00:41:53,778 --> 00:41:55,590 I'LL FIX YOU A NICE, BIG LUNCH. AND WE'LL GO HUNTING FIRST 1164 00:41:55,614 --> 00:41:57,057 LUNCH. AND WE'LL GO HUNTING FIRST THING NEXT WEEK, OKAY? 1165 00:41:57,081 --> 00:41:59,494 AND WE'LL GO HUNTING FIRST THING NEXT WEEK, OKAY? THANKS A LOT, DOCTOR. 1166 00:41:59,518 --> 00:42:01,562 THING NEXT WEEK, OKAY? THANKS A LOT, DOCTOR. THANKS FOR ALMOST KILLING LITTLE 1167 00:42:01,586 --> 00:42:05,265 THANKS A LOT, DOCTOR. THANKS FOR ALMOST KILLING LITTLE BUDDY! 1168 00:42:05,289 --> 00:42:06,868 THANKS FOR ALMOST KILLING LITTLE BUDDY! [DOOR SLAMS] 1169 00:42:06,892 --> 00:42:12,629 BUDDY! [DOOR SLAMS] WELL, EXCU-U-U-U-U-SE ME! 1170 00:42:21,572 --> 00:42:27,221 IN MY HOMETOWN, NEW ORLEANS, ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS EATING PLACES IS BUSTER HOLMES' 1171 00:42:27,245 --> 00:42:28,789 ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS EATING PLACES IS BUSTER HOLMES' FABULOUS RESTAURANT ON 1172 00:42:28,813 --> 00:42:30,024 PLACES IS BUSTER HOLMES' FABULOUS RESTAURANT ON BURGUNDY STREET. 1173 00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:31,692 FABULOUS RESTAURANT ON BURGUNDY STREET. NOW BUSTER HOLMES COOKS 1174 00:42:31,716 --> 00:42:33,794 BURGUNDY STREET. NOW BUSTER HOLMES COOKS EVERYTHING SO GOOD, HE'LL MAKE 1175 00:42:33,818 --> 00:42:35,396 NOW BUSTER HOLMES COOKS EVERYTHING SO GOOD, HE'LL MAKE YOU SMACK YOUR MAMMY. 1176 00:42:35,420 --> 00:42:36,864 EVERYTHING SO GOOD, HE'LL MAKE YOU SMACK YOUR MAMMY. BUT THERE'S ONE THING 1177 00:42:36,888 --> 00:42:38,866 YOU SMACK YOUR MAMMY. BUT THERE'S ONE THING BUSTER HOLMES COOKS BETTER THAN 1178 00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:39,867 BUT THERE'S ONE THING BUSTER HOLMES COOKS BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE. 1179 00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,502 BUSTER HOLMES COOKS BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE. ♪ HOLMES IS THE SPACE 1180 00:42:41,526 --> 00:42:42,904 ANYBODY ELSE. ♪ HOLMES IS THE SPACE DOWN IN NEW ORLEANS 1181 00:42:42,928 --> 00:42:44,471 ♪ HOLMES IS THE SPACE DOWN IN NEW ORLEANS WHERE YOU CAN GET YOUR STOMACH 1182 00:42:44,495 --> 00:42:50,077 DOWN IN NEW ORLEANS WHERE YOU CAN GET YOUR STOMACH FULL OF RED BEANS AND RICE ♪ 1183 00:42:50,101 --> 00:42:52,647 WHERE YOU CAN GET YOUR STOMACH FULL OF RED BEANS AND RICE ♪ ♪ FOR 40 CENTS ♪ 1184 00:42:52,671 --> 00:42:55,983 FULL OF RED BEANS AND RICE ♪ ♪ FOR 40 CENTS ♪ THIS IS BUSTER HOLMES, THE 1185 00:42:56,007 --> 00:42:58,252 ♪ FOR 40 CENTS ♪ THIS IS BUSTER HOLMES, THE KING OF RED BEANS. 1186 00:42:58,276 --> 00:43:00,054 THIS IS BUSTER HOLMES, THE KING OF RED BEANS. I HAVE ALL KINDS... HAM 1187 00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:02,322 KING OF RED BEANS. I HAVE ALL KINDS... HAM SANDWICH, POOR BOYS THAT LONG, 1188 00:43:02,346 --> 00:43:04,124 I HAVE ALL KINDS... HAM SANDWICH, POOR BOYS THAT LONG, AND BREAD AND BUTTER ANY WAY YOU 1189 00:43:04,148 --> 00:43:04,759 SANDWICH, POOR BOYS THAT LONG, AND BREAD AND BUTTER ANY WAY YOU WANT IT. 1190 00:43:04,783 --> 00:43:07,194 AND BREAD AND BUTTER ANY WAY YOU WANT IT. THAT'S TO GO, IF YOU WANT. 1191 00:43:07,218 --> 00:43:08,896 WANT IT. THAT'S TO GO, IF YOU WANT. HAMBURGERS, WEENIES... ALL THAT 1192 00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:09,797 THAT'S TO GO, IF YOU WANT. HAMBURGERS, WEENIES... ALL THAT GOING. 1193 00:43:09,821 --> 00:43:11,065 HAMBURGERS, WEENIES... ALL THAT GOING. TAKE HIS MEALS ON A PLANE. 1194 00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:12,567 GOING. TAKE HIS MEALS ON A PLANE. LET HIM TRAVEL WITH IT. 1195 00:43:12,591 --> 00:43:15,770 TAKE HIS MEALS ON A PLANE. LET HIM TRAVEL WITH IT. WE GOT FRIED CHICKEN, MEAT LOAF, 1196 00:43:15,794 --> 00:43:17,104 LET HIM TRAVEL WITH IT. WE GOT FRIED CHICKEN, MEAT LOAF, AND A HOT SAUSAGE, SMOKED 1197 00:43:17,128 --> 00:43:21,308 WE GOT FRIED CHICKEN, MEAT LOAF, AND A HOT SAUSAGE, SMOKED SAUSAGE AND A BAKED HAM AND RED 1198 00:43:21,332 --> 00:43:22,643 AND A HOT SAUSAGE, SMOKED SAUSAGE AND A BAKED HAM AND RED BEANS. 1199 00:43:22,667 --> 00:43:24,311 SAUSAGE AND A BAKED HAM AND RED BEANS. BEST SOUL FOOD THEY GOT HERE 1200 00:43:24,335 --> 00:43:26,847 BEANS. BEST SOUL FOOD THEY GOT HERE IN THE QUARTER. 1201 00:43:26,871 --> 00:43:29,550 BEST SOUL FOOD THEY GOT HERE IN THE QUARTER. PRICES ARE RIGHT, AND I KNOW 1202 00:43:29,574 --> 00:43:32,219 IN THE QUARTER. PRICES ARE RIGHT, AND I KNOW SOME OF THE PEOPLE THAT COME 1203 00:43:32,243 --> 00:43:33,253 PRICES ARE RIGHT, AND I KNOW SOME OF THE PEOPLE THAT COME HERE. 1204 00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:36,924 SOME OF THE PEOPLE THAT COME HERE. I'M HAVING VEGETABLES, BROWN 1205 00:43:36,948 --> 00:43:39,760 HERE. I'M HAVING VEGETABLES, BROWN GRAVY AND RICE AND MEAT LOAF. 1206 00:43:39,784 --> 00:43:41,395 I'M HAVING VEGETABLES, BROWN GRAVY AND RICE AND MEAT LOAF. IT'S CALLED REAL SOUL FOOD. 1207 00:43:41,419 --> 00:43:42,229 GRAVY AND RICE AND MEAT LOAF. IT'S CALLED REAL SOUL FOOD. RIGHT, POP. 1208 00:43:42,253 --> 00:43:43,764 IT'S CALLED REAL SOUL FOOD. RIGHT, POP. YEAH, EVERYBODY LOVES THESE 1209 00:43:43,788 --> 00:43:45,332 RIGHT, POP. YEAH, EVERYBODY LOVES THESE RED BEANS. 1210 00:43:45,356 --> 00:43:47,768 YEAH, EVERYBODY LOVES THESE RED BEANS. MEAT LOAF, MEATBALLS... ANYTHING 1211 00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:50,037 RED BEANS. MEAT LOAF, MEATBALLS... ANYTHING YOU WANT WITH THEM RED BEANS. 1212 00:43:50,061 --> 00:43:51,706 MEAT LOAF, MEATBALLS... ANYTHING YOU WANT WITH THEM RED BEANS. I LIKE TO FEED PEOPLE. 1213 00:43:51,730 --> 00:43:53,808 YOU WANT WITH THEM RED BEANS. I LIKE TO FEED PEOPLE. EVERYBODY LOVES BUSTER'S, AND 1214 00:43:53,832 --> 00:43:56,010 I LIKE TO FEED PEOPLE. EVERYBODY LOVES BUSTER'S, AND BUSTER LOVES THE PEOPLE, AND HE 1215 00:43:56,034 --> 00:43:57,144 EVERYBODY LOVES BUSTER'S, AND BUSTER LOVES THE PEOPLE, AND HE KEEP THEM A-GOING. 1216 00:43:57,168 --> 00:43:58,846 BUSTER LOVES THE PEOPLE, AND HE KEEP THEM A-GOING. ALL THE BREAD AND BUTTER THEY 1217 00:43:58,870 --> 00:44:00,681 KEEP THEM A-GOING. ALL THE BREAD AND BUTTER THEY WANT WITH THAT SOUL FOOD. 1218 00:44:00,705 --> 00:44:02,950 ALL THE BREAD AND BUTTER THEY WANT WITH THAT SOUL FOOD. EVERYTHING IS LOVELY HERE THIS 1219 00:44:02,974 --> 00:44:04,118 WANT WITH THAT SOUL FOOD. EVERYTHING IS LOVELY HERE THIS TIME OF YEAR. 1220 00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:05,653 EVERYTHING IS LOVELY HERE THIS TIME OF YEAR. Y'ALL COMING IN, BABY? 1221 00:44:05,677 --> 00:44:06,553 TIME OF YEAR. Y'ALL COMING IN, BABY? COME ON. 1222 00:44:06,577 --> 00:44:07,755 Y'ALL COMING IN, BABY? COME ON. Y'ALL COMING IN? 1223 00:44:07,779 --> 00:44:08,656 COME ON. Y'ALL COMING IN? COME ON IN. 1224 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,357 Y'ALL COMING IN? COME ON IN. COME ON IN. 1225 00:44:10,381 --> 00:44:13,861 COME ON IN. COME ON IN. GO AHEAD ON IN, BABY. 1226 00:44:13,885 --> 00:44:14,895 COME ON IN. GO AHEAD ON IN, BABY. HEY! 1227 00:44:14,919 --> 00:44:17,531 GO AHEAD ON IN, BABY. HEY! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 1228 00:44:17,555 --> 00:44:19,967 HEY! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 1229 00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:21,902 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. OKAY, EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT? 1230 00:44:21,926 --> 00:44:25,227 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. OKAY, EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT? OKAY. 1231 00:44:28,899 --> 00:44:33,447 Announcer: AND NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY "HOLLYWOOD BINGO." SO LET'S BRING OUT YOUR HOST, 1232 00:44:33,471 --> 00:44:35,916 TO PLAY "HOLLYWOOD BINGO." SO LET'S BRING OUT YOUR HOST, GERN BLANSTON. 1233 00:44:35,940 --> 00:44:41,355 SO LET'S BRING OUT YOUR HOST, GERN BLANSTON. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1234 00:44:41,379 --> 00:44:42,556 GERN BLANSTON. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THANK YOU, DON PARDO. 1235 00:44:42,580 --> 00:44:43,858 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THANK YOU, DON PARDO. THANK YOU AND GOOD EVENING. 1236 00:44:43,882 --> 00:44:45,325 THANK YOU, DON PARDO. THANK YOU AND GOOD EVENING. I'M GERN BLANSTON, AND WELCOME 1237 00:44:45,349 --> 00:44:46,794 THANK YOU AND GOOD EVENING. I'M GERN BLANSTON, AND WELCOME TO "HOLLYWOOD BINGO," WHERE YOU 1238 00:44:46,818 --> 00:44:48,228 I'M GERN BLANSTON, AND WELCOME TO "HOLLYWOOD BINGO," WHERE YOU MEET THE BIG STARS, GO FOR THE 1239 00:44:48,252 --> 00:44:49,664 TO "HOLLYWOOD BINGO," WHERE YOU MEET THE BIG STARS, GO FOR THE BIG PRIZES AND THE BIG MONEY. 1240 00:44:49,688 --> 00:44:51,165 MEET THE BIG STARS, GO FOR THE BIG PRIZES AND THE BIG MONEY. YOU KNOW HOW THE GAME IS PLAYED. 1241 00:44:51,189 --> 00:44:52,466 BIG PRIZES AND THE BIG MONEY. YOU KNOW HOW THE GAME IS PLAYED. SIX ACROSS, UP AND DOWN... 1242 00:44:52,490 --> 00:44:53,567 YOU KNOW HOW THE GAME IS PLAYED. SIX ACROSS, UP AND DOWN... [SPEAKING GIBBERISH] 1243 00:44:53,591 --> 00:44:55,870 SIX ACROSS, UP AND DOWN... [SPEAKING GIBBERISH] OKAY, NOW LET'S MEET THE STARS. 1244 00:44:55,894 --> 00:44:57,071 [SPEAKING GIBBERISH] OKAY, NOW LET'S MEET THE STARS. HELLO, STARS! 1245 00:44:57,095 --> 00:44:58,472 OKAY, NOW LET'S MEET THE STARS. HELLO, STARS! All: HELLO, GERN! 1246 00:44:58,496 --> 00:45:00,407 HELLO, STARS! All: HELLO, GERN! OKAY, ALL THE WAY UP IN THE 1247 00:45:00,431 --> 00:45:02,276 All: HELLO, GERN! OKAY, ALL THE WAY UP IN THE "B," WHY IT'S THAT LATINO HOT 1248 00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:03,343 OKAY, ALL THE WAY UP IN THE "B," WHY IT'S THAT LATINO HOT TAMALE, CHARO! 1249 00:45:03,367 --> 00:45:05,046 "B," WHY IT'S THAT LATINO HOT TAMALE, CHARO! OOH... 1250 00:45:05,070 --> 00:45:07,314 TAMALE, CHARO! OOH... [SPEAKING SPANISH] 1251 00:45:07,338 --> 00:45:08,783 OOH... [SPEAKING SPANISH] CHARO WILL BE APPEARING AT 1252 00:45:08,807 --> 00:45:10,051 [SPEAKING SPANISH] CHARO WILL BE APPEARING AT THE IMPERIAL LAKE TAHOE. 1253 00:45:10,075 --> 00:45:11,518 CHARO WILL BE APPEARING AT THE IMPERIAL LAKE TAHOE. SAY, IF ANYONE CAN, THE CANDY 1254 00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:13,154 THE IMPERIAL LAKE TAHOE. SAY, IF ANYONE CAN, THE CANDY MAN CAN, 'CAUSE THE CANDY MAN IS 1255 00:45:13,178 --> 00:45:14,288 SAY, IF ANYONE CAN, THE CANDY MAN CAN, 'CAUSE THE CANDY MAN IS NONE OTHER THAN I-19, 1256 00:45:14,312 --> 00:45:15,189 MAN CAN, 'CAUSE THE CANDY MAN IS NONE OTHER THAN I-19, SAMMY DAVIS JR.! 1257 00:45:15,213 --> 00:45:18,559 NONE OTHER THAN I-19, SAMMY DAVIS JR.! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME, MAN. 1258 00:45:18,583 --> 00:45:19,626 SAMMY DAVIS JR.! YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME, MAN. THANK YOU, SAMMY. 1259 00:45:19,650 --> 00:45:20,995 YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME, MAN. THANK YOU, SAMMY. SAMMY WILL BE OPENING AT THE 1260 00:45:21,019 --> 00:45:22,229 THANK YOU, SAMMY. SAMMY WILL BE OPENING AT THE DUNE WITH DEAN IN VEGAS. 1261 00:45:22,253 --> 00:45:23,931 SAMMY WILL BE OPENING AT THE DUNE WITH DEAN IN VEGAS. SAY, HERE'S A CRAZY, KOOKY NUT 1262 00:45:23,955 --> 00:45:25,599 DUNE WITH DEAN IN VEGAS. SAY, HERE'S A CRAZY, KOOKY NUT WHO SEES THINGS SAMMY'S WAY... 1263 00:45:25,623 --> 00:45:26,433 SAY, HERE'S A CRAZY, KOOKY NUT WHO SEES THINGS SAMMY'S WAY... SANDY DUNCAN! 1264 00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:27,434 WHO SEES THINGS SAMMY'S WAY... SANDY DUNCAN! HI, EVERYBODY. 1265 00:45:27,458 --> 00:45:29,036 SANDY DUNCAN! HI, EVERYBODY. I'LL BE STARRING IN STRATFORD, 1266 00:45:29,060 --> 00:45:30,437 HI, EVERYBODY. I'LL BE STARRING IN STRATFORD, CONNECTICUT, WHERE I'LL BE 1267 00:45:30,461 --> 00:45:32,039 I'LL BE STARRING IN STRATFORD, CONNECTICUT, WHERE I'LL BE PLAYING KATE IN "TAMING OF THE 1268 00:45:32,063 --> 00:45:32,573 CONNECTICUT, WHERE I'LL BE PLAYING KATE IN "TAMING OF THE SHREW." 1269 00:45:32,597 --> 00:45:34,508 PLAYING KATE IN "TAMING OF THE SHREW." NEXT, THE MAN WHO'S A MOVIE 1270 00:45:34,532 --> 00:45:36,543 SHREW." NEXT, THE MAN WHO'S A MOVIE STAR, A GOURMET CHEF, ALL-AROUND 1271 00:45:36,567 --> 00:45:38,545 NEXT, THE MAN WHO'S A MOVIE STAR, A GOURMET CHEF, ALL-AROUND GREAT GUY, G-50, VINCENT PRICE. 1272 00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:40,114 STAR, A GOURMET CHEF, ALL-AROUND GREAT GUY, G-50, VINCENT PRICE. YOU KNOW I ADORE DOING THE 1273 00:45:40,138 --> 00:45:41,716 GREAT GUY, G-50, VINCENT PRICE. YOU KNOW I ADORE DOING THE SHOW, GERN, AND I JUST WANT TO 1274 00:45:41,740 --> 00:45:43,450 YOU KNOW I ADORE DOING THE SHOW, GERN, AND I JUST WANT TO SAY I HAVE A COOKBOOK COMING OUT 1275 00:45:43,474 --> 00:45:44,484 SHOW, GERN, AND I JUST WANT TO SAY I HAVE A COOKBOOK COMING OUT FROM VIKING PRESS. 1276 00:45:44,508 --> 00:45:45,853 SAY I HAVE A COOKBOOK COMING OUT FROM VIKING PRESS. IT'S CALLED "THROUGH HIS 1277 00:45:45,877 --> 00:45:46,486 FROM VIKING PRESS. IT'S CALLED "THROUGH HIS STOMACH." 1278 00:45:46,510 --> 00:45:48,455 IT'S CALLED "THROUGH HIS STOMACH." HEY, OUR NEXT GAL IS A GREAT, 1279 00:45:48,479 --> 00:45:49,990 STOMACH." HEY, OUR NEXT GAL IS A GREAT, OLD GAL... THE LOVELY OR 1280 00:45:50,014 --> 00:45:51,325 HEY, OUR NEXT GAL IS A GREAT, OLD GAL... THE LOVELY OR TALENTED ROSE MARIE. 1281 00:45:51,349 --> 00:45:54,494 OLD GAL... THE LOVELY OR TALENTED ROSE MARIE. [LAUGHS] 1282 00:45:54,518 --> 00:45:56,197 TALENTED ROSE MARIE. [LAUGHS] WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER THE 1283 00:45:56,221 --> 00:45:56,697 [LAUGHS] WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER THE SHOW? 1284 00:45:56,721 --> 00:45:57,698 WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER THE SHOW? ROSE WILL BE APPEARING ON OLD 1285 00:45:57,722 --> 00:45:58,498 SHOW? ROSE WILL BE APPEARING ON OLD RERUNS OF THE "DICK VAN DYKE 1286 00:45:58,522 --> 00:45:58,899 ROSE WILL BE APPEARING ON OLD RERUNS OF THE "DICK VAN DYKE SHOW." 1287 00:45:58,923 --> 00:46:00,400 RERUNS OF THE "DICK VAN DYKE SHOW." HEY, I LOVE TO KID OUR NEXT 1288 00:46:00,424 --> 00:46:02,069 SHOW." HEY, I LOVE TO KID OUR NEXT STAR, MR. SHOWBIZ HIMSELF, B-8, 1289 00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:03,503 HEY, I LOVE TO KID OUR NEXT STAR, MR. SHOWBIZ HIMSELF, B-8, GEORGIE JESSEL. 1290 00:46:03,527 --> 00:46:05,472 STAR, MR. SHOWBIZ HIMSELF, B-8, GEORGIE JESSEL. IT'S A REAL PLEASURE TO BE 1291 00:46:05,496 --> 00:46:07,507 GEORGIE JESSEL. IT'S A REAL PLEASURE TO BE HERE, GERN, AND BELIEVE ME, AT 1292 00:46:07,531 --> 00:46:09,476 IT'S A REAL PLEASURE TO BE HERE, GERN, AND BELIEVE ME, AT MY AGE, IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE 1293 00:46:09,500 --> 00:46:10,277 HERE, GERN, AND BELIEVE ME, AT MY AGE, IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE ANYWHERE. 1294 00:46:10,301 --> 00:46:11,078 MY AGE, IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE ANYWHERE. [LAUGHS] 1295 00:46:11,102 --> 00:46:12,780 ANYWHERE. [LAUGHS] GEORGIE JUST CUT AN ALBUM ON THE 1296 00:46:12,804 --> 00:46:14,381 [LAUGHS] GEORGIE JUST CUT AN ALBUM ON THE MCA LABEL... "JESSEL DOES IT TO 1297 00:46:14,405 --> 00:46:14,982 GEORGIE JUST CUT AN ALBUM ON THE MCA LABEL... "JESSEL DOES IT TO JOLSON." 1298 00:46:15,006 --> 00:46:16,416 MCA LABEL... "JESSEL DOES IT TO JOLSON." HEY, I'M REAL PROUD TO BE ABLE 1299 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:17,885 JOLSON." HEY, I'M REAL PROUD TO BE ABLE TO CALL OUR NEXT STAR MY CLOSE 1300 00:46:17,909 --> 00:46:19,353 HEY, I'M REAL PROUD TO BE ABLE TO CALL OUR NEXT STAR MY CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND, MR. TELEVISION 1301 00:46:19,377 --> 00:46:20,387 TO CALL OUR NEXT STAR MY CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND, MR. TELEVISION HIMSELF, HAL LINDEN. 1302 00:46:20,411 --> 00:46:21,222 PERSONAL FRIEND, MR. TELEVISION HIMSELF, HAL LINDEN. YOU KNOW, I LOVE 1303 00:46:21,246 --> 00:46:22,356 HIMSELF, HAL LINDEN. YOU KNOW, I LOVE "BARNEY MILLER," BUT MY REAL 1304 00:46:22,380 --> 00:46:23,423 YOU KNOW, I LOVE "BARNEY MILLER," BUT MY REAL ROOTS ARE IN THE LEGITIMATE 1305 00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:24,191 "BARNEY MILLER," BUT MY REAL ROOTS ARE IN THE LEGITIMATE THEATER, AND I... 1306 00:46:24,215 --> 00:46:25,325 ROOTS ARE IN THE LEGITIMATE THEATER, AND I... GREAT. GREAT, HAL. 1307 00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:26,961 THEATER, AND I... GREAT. GREAT, HAL. HAL'S HOPING TO DO A GUEST SHOT 1308 00:46:26,985 --> 00:46:28,462 GREAT. GREAT, HAL. HAL'S HOPING TO DO A GUEST SHOT ON THE McLEAN STEVENSON SHOW 1309 00:46:28,486 --> 00:46:29,130 HAL'S HOPING TO DO A GUEST SHOT ON THE McLEAN STEVENSON SHOW NEXT YEAR. 1310 00:46:29,154 --> 00:46:30,530 ON THE McLEAN STEVENSON SHOW NEXT YEAR. GOOD LUCK ON THAT ONE, HAL. 1311 00:46:30,554 --> 00:46:32,133 NEXT YEAR. GOOD LUCK ON THAT ONE, HAL. HEY, HERE'S A STAR WHO MADE THE 1312 00:46:32,157 --> 00:46:33,500 GOOD LUCK ON THAT ONE, HAL. HEY, HERE'S A STAR WHO MADE THE SUCCESSFUL TRANSITION FROM 1313 00:46:33,524 --> 00:46:35,035 HEY, HERE'S A STAR WHO MADE THE SUCCESSFUL TRANSITION FROM MOVIES TO TELEVISION, THE STAR 1314 00:46:35,059 --> 00:46:36,436 SUCCESSFUL TRANSITION FROM MOVIES TO TELEVISION, THE STAR OF "BARETTA," ROBERT BLAKE. 1315 00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:37,805 MOVIES TO TELEVISION, THE STAR OF "BARETTA," ROBERT BLAKE. FIVE YEARS AGO, I WOULDN'T 1316 00:46:37,829 --> 00:46:39,173 OF "BARETTA," ROBERT BLAKE. FIVE YEARS AGO, I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS SHOW ON A DARE. 1317 00:46:39,197 --> 00:46:40,641 FIVE YEARS AGO, I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS SHOW ON A DARE. I'M DOING IT NOW BECAUSE I GOT A 1318 00:46:40,665 --> 00:46:41,175 HAVE DONE THIS SHOW ON A DARE. I'M DOING IT NOW BECAUSE I GOT A BIG HIT. 1319 00:46:41,199 --> 00:46:42,209 I'M DOING IT NOW BECAUSE I GOT A BIG HIT. YOU CAN BANK ON THAT. 1320 00:46:42,233 --> 00:46:44,211 BIG HIT. YOU CAN BANK ON THAT. "DESE, DEM, DOSE." 1321 00:46:44,235 --> 00:46:45,679 YOU CAN BANK ON THAT. "DESE, DEM, DOSE." LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE 1322 00:46:45,703 --> 00:46:47,148 "DESE, DEM, DOSE." LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE TO SAY, IF GOD HAD ANGELS AS 1323 00:46:47,172 --> 00:46:48,515 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE TO SAY, IF GOD HAD ANGELS AS PRETTY AS THIS NEXT GUEST, HE 1324 00:46:48,539 --> 00:46:49,483 TO SAY, IF GOD HAD ANGELS AS PRETTY AS THIS NEXT GUEST, HE WOULDN'T HAVE DIED. 1325 00:46:49,507 --> 00:46:50,550 PRETTY AS THIS NEXT GUEST, HE WOULDN'T HAVE DIED. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 1326 00:46:50,574 --> 00:46:57,825 WOULDN'T HAVE DIED. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FARRAH FAWCETT MAJORS. 1327 00:46:57,849 --> 00:46:59,459 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FARRAH FAWCETT MAJORS. YOU KNOW, FARRAH AND HER HAIR 1328 00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:00,961 FARRAH FAWCETT MAJORS. YOU KNOW, FARRAH AND HER HAIR WILL BE APPEARING IN SEPARATE 1329 00:47:00,985 --> 00:47:01,495 YOU KNOW, FARRAH AND HER HAIR WILL BE APPEARING IN SEPARATE CITIES. 1330 00:47:01,519 --> 00:47:03,864 WILL BE APPEARING IN SEPARATE CITIES. AND NOW A FONZIE LOOK-ALIKE, 1331 00:47:03,888 --> 00:47:06,767 CITIES. AND NOW A FONZIE LOOK-ALIKE, STEFFY HELLERS, O-67. 1332 00:47:06,791 --> 00:47:08,435 AND NOW A FONZIE LOOK-ALIKE, STEFFY HELLERS, O-67. OKAY, NOW I DON'T KNOW WHO HE 1333 00:47:08,459 --> 00:47:08,803 STEFFY HELLERS, O-67. OKAY, NOW I DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS. 1334 00:47:08,827 --> 00:47:10,570 OKAY, NOW I DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS. OKAY, LET'S SEE, UNDER THE "B." 1335 00:47:10,594 --> 00:47:11,806 IS. OKAY, LET'S SEE, UNDER THE "B." LET'S WELCOME DRINK MEXICO. 1336 00:47:11,830 --> 00:47:13,207 OKAY, LET'S SEE, UNDER THE "B." LET'S WELCOME DRINK MEXICO. DRINK IS SORT OF IN THE NATIONAL 1337 00:47:13,231 --> 00:47:14,574 LET'S WELCOME DRINK MEXICO. DRINK IS SORT OF IN THE NATIONAL TOURING COMPANY OF "MAN WITHOUT 1338 00:47:14,598 --> 00:47:15,042 DRINK IS SORT OF IN THE NATIONAL TOURING COMPANY OF "MAN WITHOUT A PIN." 1339 00:47:15,066 --> 00:47:15,876 TOURING COMPANY OF "MAN WITHOUT A PIN." OKAY, NOW THE SENSATIONAL 1340 00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:16,310 A PIN." OKAY, NOW THE SENSATIONAL SONJA. 1341 00:47:16,334 --> 00:47:17,744 OKAY, NOW THE SENSATIONAL SONJA. SONJA'S CURRENTLY APPEARING ON 1342 00:47:17,768 --> 00:47:18,679 SONJA. SONJA'S CURRENTLY APPEARING ON "HOLLYWOOD BINGO." 1343 00:47:18,703 --> 00:47:20,380 SONJA'S CURRENTLY APPEARING ON "HOLLYWOOD BINGO." OKAY, THAT BRINGS US UP TO THE 1344 00:47:20,404 --> 00:47:21,982 "HOLLYWOOD BINGO." OKAY, THAT BRINGS US UP TO THE CHARLIE WEAVER MEMORIAL FREE 1345 00:47:22,006 --> 00:47:22,549 OKAY, THAT BRINGS US UP TO THE CHARLIE WEAVER MEMORIAL FREE SQUARE. 1346 00:47:22,573 --> 00:47:24,785 CHARLIE WEAVER MEMORIAL FREE SQUARE. AND CHARLIE WILL BE APPEARING... 1347 00:47:24,809 --> 00:47:26,453 SQUARE. AND CHARLIE WILL BE APPEARING... NOWHERE. 1348 00:47:26,477 --> 00:47:28,588 AND CHARLIE WILL BE APPEARING... NOWHERE. YOU KNOW, CHARLIE WOULD HAVE 1349 00:47:28,612 --> 00:47:29,924 NOWHERE. YOU KNOW, CHARLIE WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT JOKE. 1350 00:47:29,948 --> 00:47:31,826 YOU KNOW, CHARLIE WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT JOKE. NEXT, G-56, A REAL NUN AND A 1351 00:47:31,850 --> 00:47:33,560 LOVED THAT JOKE. NEXT, G-56, A REAL NUN AND A REAL CAT, TO BOOT... IT'S 1352 00:47:33,584 --> 00:47:35,562 NEXT, G-56, A REAL NUN AND A REAL CAT, TO BOOT... IT'S SISTER MARY MARGARET MARY, THE 1353 00:47:35,586 --> 00:47:36,430 REAL CAT, TO BOOT... IT'S SISTER MARY MARGARET MARY, THE NUTTY NUN! 1354 00:47:36,454 --> 00:47:38,132 SISTER MARY MARGARET MARY, THE NUTTY NUN! HEY, ISN'T SHE FUNNY? 1355 00:47:38,156 --> 00:47:39,399 NUTTY NUN! HEY, ISN'T SHE FUNNY? O-72... SY BLINKWELL. 1356 00:47:39,423 --> 00:47:41,235 HEY, ISN'T SHE FUNNY? O-72... SY BLINKWELL. SY WILL UNDERSTUDY RIP TAYLOR IN 1357 00:47:41,259 --> 00:47:43,070 O-72... SY BLINKWELL. SY WILL UNDERSTUDY RIP TAYLOR IN THE L.A. PRODUCTION OF "DIAL 'N' 1358 00:47:43,094 --> 00:47:44,404 SY WILL UNDERSTUDY RIP TAYLOR IN THE L.A. PRODUCTION OF "DIAL 'N' FOR NURDER." 1359 00:47:44,428 --> 00:47:45,840 THE L.A. PRODUCTION OF "DIAL 'N' FOR NURDER." AND UNDER THE "B"... NEVER SAW 1360 00:47:45,864 --> 00:47:46,506 FOR NURDER." AND UNDER THE "B"... NEVER SAW HIM BEFORE. 1361 00:47:46,530 --> 00:47:47,574 AND UNDER THE "B"... NEVER SAW HIM BEFORE. DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS. 1362 00:47:47,598 --> 00:47:48,675 HIM BEFORE. DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS. NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE. 1363 00:47:48,699 --> 00:47:50,077 DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS. NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE. NOT SURE ABOUT HIM, AND WE'RE 1364 00:47:50,101 --> 00:47:51,378 NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE. NOT SURE ABOUT HIM, AND WE'RE NOT SURE ABOUT THIS PERSON, 1365 00:47:51,402 --> 00:47:52,779 NOT SURE ABOUT HIM, AND WE'RE NOT SURE ABOUT THIS PERSON, EITHER, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 1366 00:47:52,803 --> 00:47:54,081 NOT SURE ABOUT THIS PERSON, EITHER, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BUT WE DO BELIEVE THIS NEXT 1367 00:47:54,105 --> 00:47:55,349 EITHER, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BUT WE DO BELIEVE THIS NEXT PERSON RIGHT ALONG HERE IS 1368 00:47:55,373 --> 00:47:57,985 BUT WE DO BELIEVE THIS NEXT PERSON RIGHT ALONG HERE IS WOODY ALLEN'S SISTER. 1369 00:47:58,009 --> 00:47:59,753 PERSON RIGHT ALONG HERE IS WOODY ALLEN'S SISTER. ALL RIGHT, NOW UNDER THE "B," 1370 00:47:59,777 --> 00:48:01,922 WOODY ALLEN'S SISTER. ALL RIGHT, NOW UNDER THE "B," IT'S GARTH LUDROW, ROAD MANAGER 1371 00:48:01,946 --> 00:48:03,290 ALL RIGHT, NOW UNDER THE "B," IT'S GARTH LUDROW, ROAD MANAGER FOR MICKEY DOLENZ. 1372 00:48:03,314 --> 00:48:04,358 IT'S GARTH LUDROW, ROAD MANAGER FOR MICKEY DOLENZ. NOW I-28, VERN HOOKMAN. 1373 00:48:04,382 --> 00:48:05,492 FOR MICKEY DOLENZ. NOW I-28, VERN HOOKMAN. VERN JUST FINISHED MAKING 1374 00:48:05,516 --> 00:48:06,861 NOW I-28, VERN HOOKMAN. VERN JUST FINISHED MAKING "KING KONG," IN WHICH HE PLAYED 1375 00:48:06,885 --> 00:48:07,828 VERN JUST FINISHED MAKING "KING KONG," IN WHICH HE PLAYED A FRIGHTENED PERSON. 1376 00:48:07,852 --> 00:48:08,762 "KING KONG," IN WHICH HE PLAYED A FRIGHTENED PERSON. OKAY, SAY HI TO HAROLD. 1377 00:48:08,786 --> 00:48:09,997 A FRIGHTENED PERSON. OKAY, SAY HI TO HAROLD. HAROLD WILL BE APPEARING BEHIND 1378 00:48:10,021 --> 00:48:11,131 OKAY, SAY HI TO HAROLD. HAROLD WILL BE APPEARING BEHIND THE MEAT COUNTER WEEKDAYS TILL 1379 00:48:11,155 --> 00:48:11,531 HAROLD WILL BE APPEARING BEHIND THE MEAT COUNTER WEEKDAYS TILL 6:00. 1380 00:48:11,555 --> 00:48:13,167 THE MEAT COUNTER WEEKDAYS TILL 6:00. NOW G-49. 1381 00:48:13,191 --> 00:48:15,336 6:00. NOW G-49. AND NOW FINALLY O-73... JOANIE 1382 00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:16,570 NOW G-49. AND NOW FINALLY O-73... JOANIE FROM NEXT DOOR. 1383 00:48:16,594 --> 00:48:17,938 AND NOW FINALLY O-73... JOANIE FROM NEXT DOOR. JOANIE EATS FOOD. 1384 00:48:17,962 --> 00:48:19,306 FROM NEXT DOOR. JOANIE EATS FOOD. AND THOSE ARE OUR STARS TONIGHT 1385 00:48:19,330 --> 00:48:20,274 JOANIE EATS FOOD. AND THOSE ARE OUR STARS TONIGHT ON "HOLLYWOOD BINGO." 1386 00:48:20,298 --> 00:48:21,475 AND THOSE ARE OUR STARS TONIGHT ON "HOLLYWOOD BINGO." HEY, WE'RE ALL OUT OF TIME. 1387 00:48:21,499 --> 00:48:22,709 ON "HOLLYWOOD BINGO." HEY, WE'RE ALL OUT OF TIME. DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY THE 1388 00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:24,111 HEY, WE'RE ALL OUT OF TIME. DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY THE GAME, BUT TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN 1389 00:48:24,135 --> 00:48:25,479 DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY THE GAME, BUT TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN 25 DIFFERENT STARS WILL PLUG 25 1390 00:48:25,503 --> 00:48:26,313 GAME, BUT TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN 25 DIFFERENT STARS WILL PLUG 25 DIFFERENT THINGS. 1391 00:48:26,337 --> 00:48:29,372 25 DIFFERENT STARS WILL PLUG 25 DIFFERENT THINGS. GOODBYE, STARS! 1392 00:48:37,381 --> 00:48:42,763 THIS WEEK'S HOME MOVIE WAS SUBMITTED BY THE FRIENDS OF LILY TOMLIN. 1393 00:48:42,787 --> 00:48:44,899 SUBMITTED BY THE FRIENDS OF LILY TOMLIN. IT'S ENTITLED FROM "THE BIG 1394 00:48:44,923 --> 00:48:47,534 LILY TOMLIN. IT'S ENTITLED FROM "THE BIG ORANGE TO THE BIG APPLE." 1395 00:48:47,558 --> 00:48:50,478 IT'S ENTITLED FROM "THE BIG ORANGE TO THE BIG APPLE." [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1396 00:48:59,736 --> 00:49:03,683 YES, WE'RE ON OUR WAY. WE'RE JUST FILLING UP NOW. THERE'S A REAL CUTE GUY AT THE 1397 00:49:03,707 --> 00:49:04,151 WE'RE JUST FILLING UP NOW. THERE'S A REAL CUTE GUY AT THE PUMPS. 1398 00:49:04,175 --> 00:49:06,921 THERE'S A REAL CUTE GUY AT THE PUMPS. YOU OUGHT TO SEE HIM. 1399 00:49:06,945 --> 00:49:08,455 PUMPS. YOU OUGHT TO SEE HIM. THE REST OF US ARE PILED IN THE 1400 00:49:08,479 --> 00:49:08,822 YOU OUGHT TO SEE HIM. THE REST OF US ARE PILED IN THE CAR. 1401 00:49:08,846 --> 00:49:10,257 THE REST OF US ARE PILED IN THE CAR. IT'S GONNA BE A HORRIBLE TRIP 1402 00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:10,757 CAR. IT'S GONNA BE A HORRIBLE TRIP FOR ME. 1403 00:49:10,781 --> 00:49:12,293 IT'S GONNA BE A HORRIBLE TRIP FOR ME. I CAN HARDLY STAND TO ASSOCIATE 1404 00:49:12,317 --> 00:49:13,260 FOR ME. I CAN HARDLY STAND TO ASSOCIATE WITH MOST OF THEM. 1405 00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:14,428 I CAN HARDLY STAND TO ASSOCIATE WITH MOST OF THEM. WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU SOON. 1406 00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:15,829 WITH MOST OF THEM. WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU SOON. I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT 1407 00:49:15,853 --> 00:49:17,131 WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU SOON. I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M SENDING YOU MY LOVE, AND 1408 00:49:17,155 --> 00:49:18,498 I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M SENDING YOU MY LOVE, AND I'LL BE BACK SOON, BECAUSE I'M 1409 00:49:18,522 --> 00:49:19,800 I'M SENDING YOU MY LOVE, AND I'LL BE BACK SOON, BECAUSE I'M SURE SHE'LL GET BAD REVIEWS. 1410 00:49:19,824 --> 00:49:21,135 I'LL BE BACK SOON, BECAUSE I'M SURE SHE'LL GET BAD REVIEWS. IT'S BOUND TO CLOSE IN TWO OR 1411 00:49:21,159 --> 00:49:21,768 SURE SHE'LL GET BAD REVIEWS. IT'S BOUND TO CLOSE IN TWO OR THREE DAYS. 1412 00:49:21,792 --> 00:49:22,803 IT'S BOUND TO CLOSE IN TWO OR THREE DAYS. [SNORTS] 1413 00:49:22,827 --> 00:49:26,740 THREE DAYS. [SNORTS] HEY, WHERE YOU CHICKS HEADED? 1414 00:49:26,764 --> 00:49:29,343 [SNORTS] HEY, WHERE YOU CHICKS HEADED? JUST YOU NEVER MIND, BUSTER. 1415 00:49:29,367 --> 00:49:31,278 HEY, WHERE YOU CHICKS HEADED? JUST YOU NEVER MIND, BUSTER. DIDN'T HE THINK HE WAS GOD'S 1416 00:49:31,302 --> 00:49:31,878 JUST YOU NEVER MIND, BUSTER. DIDN'T HE THINK HE WAS GOD'S GIFT? 1417 00:49:31,902 --> 00:49:32,813 DIDN'T HE THINK HE WAS GOD'S GIFT? LET'S SEE NOW. 1418 00:49:32,837 --> 00:49:34,114 GIFT? LET'S SEE NOW. DO WE HAVE EVERYTHING? 1419 00:49:34,138 --> 00:49:35,916 LET'S SEE NOW. DO WE HAVE EVERYTHING? PORTABLE CLOTHESLINE, RICE 1420 00:49:35,940 --> 00:49:37,985 DO WE HAVE EVERYTHING? PORTABLE CLOTHESLINE, RICE PACKAGES, TANG, SNAKE-BITE KIT, 1421 00:49:38,009 --> 00:49:40,154 PORTABLE CLOTHESLINE, RICE PACKAGES, TANG, SNAKE-BITE KIT, FLASHLIGHT AND FLARES, SANITIZED 1422 00:49:40,178 --> 00:49:41,455 PACKAGES, TANG, SNAKE-BITE KIT, FLASHLIGHT AND FLARES, SANITIZED TOILET-SEAT COVER. 1423 00:49:41,479 --> 00:49:43,324 FLASHLIGHT AND FLARES, SANITIZED TOILET-SEAT COVER. DID YOU BRING THOSE, SUZIE? 1424 00:49:43,348 --> 00:49:45,059 TOILET-SEAT COVER. DID YOU BRING THOSE, SUZIE? BAND-AIDS, WATERPROOF MATCHES, 1425 00:49:45,083 --> 00:49:46,560 DID YOU BRING THOSE, SUZIE? BAND-AIDS, WATERPROOF MATCHES, LIE-DETECTOR KIT, COMPASS, 1426 00:49:46,584 --> 00:49:48,062 BAND-AIDS, WATERPROOF MATCHES, LIE-DETECTOR KIT, COMPASS, POTATO CHIPS, SUNGLASSES, 1427 00:49:48,086 --> 00:49:49,863 LIE-DETECTOR KIT, COMPASS, POTATO CHIPS, SUNGLASSES, DRIVER'S LICENSE IS IN MY PURSE, 1428 00:49:49,887 --> 00:49:50,998 POTATO CHIPS, SUNGLASSES, DRIVER'S LICENSE IS IN MY PURSE, AND SUGARLESS GUM. 1429 00:49:51,022 --> 00:49:51,765 DRIVER'S LICENSE IS IN MY PURSE, AND SUGARLESS GUM. EVERYBODY READY? 1430 00:49:51,789 --> 00:49:52,599 AND SUGARLESS GUM. EVERYBODY READY? LET'S GO. 1431 00:49:52,623 --> 00:49:54,901 EVERYBODY READY? LET'S GO. EDITH, SIT DOWN. 1432 00:49:54,925 --> 00:49:56,636 LET'S GO. EDITH, SIT DOWN. HEY, HEY! 1433 00:49:56,660 --> 00:49:57,637 EDITH, SIT DOWN. HEY, HEY! YOU GOING TO NEW YORK? 1434 00:49:57,661 --> 00:49:58,538 HEY, HEY! YOU GOING TO NEW YORK? I'M GOING WITH YOU! 1435 00:49:58,562 --> 00:49:59,539 YOU GOING TO NEW YORK? I'M GOING WITH YOU! [GASPS] 1436 00:49:59,563 --> 00:50:02,509 I'M GOING WITH YOU! [GASPS] I COULD JUST BARF! 1437 00:50:02,533 --> 00:50:04,178 [GASPS] I COULD JUST BARF! YOU HOLD THIS! 1438 00:50:04,202 --> 00:50:05,779 I COULD JUST BARF! YOU HOLD THIS! THIS WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO 1439 00:50:05,803 --> 00:50:06,746 YOU HOLD THIS! THIS WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO TAKE A TRIP IN. 1440 00:50:06,770 --> 00:50:07,214 THIS WOULD BE A GOOD THING TO TAKE A TRIP IN. WHAT? 1441 00:50:07,238 --> 00:50:08,949 TAKE A TRIP IN. WHAT? I REALLY LIKE THIS CAR. 1442 00:50:08,973 --> 00:50:09,383 WHAT? I REALLY LIKE THIS CAR. LOOK. 1443 00:50:09,407 --> 00:50:10,851 I REALLY LIKE THIS CAR. LOOK. YOU CAN SEE MY PICTURE IN IT. 1444 00:50:10,875 --> 00:50:12,586 LOOK. YOU CAN SEE MY PICTURE IN IT. I COULD SEE MY FACE EVERYWHERE. 1445 00:50:12,610 --> 00:50:13,753 YOU CAN SEE MY PICTURE IN IT. I COULD SEE MY FACE EVERYWHERE. HOW YOU DOING? 1446 00:50:13,777 --> 00:50:14,921 I COULD SEE MY FACE EVERYWHERE. HOW YOU DOING? HOW YOU DOING? 1447 00:50:14,945 --> 00:50:15,789 HOW YOU DOING? HOW YOU DOING? GIVE HER SOME MONEY. 1448 00:50:15,813 --> 00:50:16,723 HOW YOU DOING? GIVE HER SOME MONEY. DON'T GIVE HER A RIDE. 1449 00:50:16,747 --> 00:50:17,491 GIVE HER SOME MONEY. DON'T GIVE HER A RIDE. MOVE OVER. 1450 00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:19,360 DON'T GIVE HER A RIDE. MOVE OVER. I'M READY TO GO. 1451 00:50:19,384 --> 00:50:19,759 MOVE OVER. I'M READY TO GO. OH! 1452 00:50:19,783 --> 00:50:20,361 I'M READY TO GO. OH! [HORN HONKS] 1453 00:50:20,385 --> 00:50:22,396 OH! [HORN HONKS] OKAY, JUST BE QUIET A MINUTE. 1454 00:50:22,420 --> 00:50:23,763 [HORN HONKS] OKAY, JUST BE QUIET A MINUTE. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 1455 00:50:23,787 --> 00:50:24,598 OKAY, JUST BE QUIET A MINUTE. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. HELLO. PARDON ME. 1456 00:50:24,622 --> 00:50:26,533 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. HELLO. PARDON ME. DO YOU HAVE PRINCE ALBERT IN A 1457 00:50:26,557 --> 00:50:28,002 HELLO. PARDON ME. DO YOU HAVE PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN? 1458 00:50:28,026 --> 00:50:29,370 DO YOU HAVE PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN? WELL, YOU BETTER LET HIM OUT 1459 00:50:29,394 --> 00:50:30,737 CAN? WELL, YOU BETTER LET HIM OUT BEFORE HE SMOTHERS TO DEATH. 1460 00:50:30,761 --> 00:50:37,644 WELL, YOU BETTER LET HIM OUT BEFORE HE SMOTHERS TO DEATH. [SNORTS] 1461 00:50:37,668 --> 00:50:38,545 BEFORE HE SMOTHERS TO DEATH. [SNORTS] ♪ FOUND A PEANUT, 1462 00:50:38,569 --> 00:50:39,746 [SNORTS] ♪ FOUND A PEANUT, FOUND A PEANUT, 1463 00:50:39,770 --> 00:50:42,416 ♪ FOUND A PEANUT, FOUND A PEANUT, FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ 1464 00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:44,184 FOUND A PEANUT, FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ ♪ I JUST NOW FOUND A PEANUT ♪ 1465 00:50:44,208 --> 00:50:47,054 FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ ♪ I JUST NOW FOUND A PEANUT ♪ ♪ FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ 1466 00:50:47,078 --> 00:50:48,722 ♪ I JUST NOW FOUND A PEANUT ♪ ♪ FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ ♪ CRACKED IT OPEN, 1467 00:50:48,746 --> 00:50:49,589 ♪ FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ ♪ CRACKED IT OPEN, CRACKED IT OPEN, 1468 00:50:49,613 --> 00:50:51,992 ♪ CRACKED IT OPEN, CRACKED IT OPEN, CRACKED IT OPEN JUST NOW ♪ 1469 00:50:52,016 --> 00:50:54,761 CRACKED IT OPEN, CRACKED IT OPEN JUST NOW ♪ ♪ I JUST NOW CRACKED IT OPEN ♪ 1470 00:50:54,785 --> 00:50:57,464 CRACKED IT OPEN JUST NOW ♪ ♪ I JUST NOW CRACKED IT OPEN ♪ ♪ CRACKED IT OPEN JUST NOW ♪ 1471 00:50:57,488 --> 00:50:58,665 ♪ I JUST NOW CRACKED IT OPEN ♪ ♪ CRACKED IT OPEN JUST NOW ♪ ♪ ATE IT ANY... ♪ 1472 00:50:58,689 --> 00:50:59,400 ♪ CRACKED IT OPEN JUST NOW ♪ ♪ ATE IT ANY... ♪ ♪ FOUND IT ROTTEN, 1473 00:50:59,424 --> 00:51:00,734 ♪ ATE IT ANY... ♪ ♪ FOUND IT ROTTEN, FOUND IT ROTTEN, 1474 00:51:00,758 --> 00:51:03,337 ♪ FOUND IT ROTTEN, FOUND IT ROTTEN, FOUND IT ROTTEN JUST NOW ♪ 1475 00:51:03,361 --> 00:51:05,839 FOUND IT ROTTEN, FOUND IT ROTTEN JUST NOW ♪ ♪ I JUST NOW FOUND IT ROTTEN ♪ 1476 00:51:05,863 --> 00:51:08,775 FOUND IT ROTTEN JUST NOW ♪ ♪ I JUST NOW FOUND IT ROTTEN ♪ ♪ FOUND IT ROTTEN RIGHT NOW ♪ 1477 00:51:08,799 --> 00:51:11,045 ♪ I JUST NOW FOUND IT ROTTEN ♪ ♪ FOUND IT ROTTEN RIGHT NOW ♪ [SIGHS] 1478 00:51:11,069 --> 00:51:13,080 ♪ FOUND IT ROTTEN RIGHT NOW ♪ [SIGHS] THIS IS SORT OF A DREAM COME 1479 00:51:13,104 --> 00:51:14,648 [SIGHS] THIS IS SORT OF A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME, JUDITH. 1480 00:51:14,672 --> 00:51:15,682 THIS IS SORT OF A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME, JUDITH. MRS. BEASLEY? 1481 00:51:15,706 --> 00:51:17,584 TRUE FOR ME, JUDITH. MRS. BEASLEY? THIS IS SORT OF A DREAM COME 1482 00:51:17,608 --> 00:51:18,552 MRS. BEASLEY? THIS IS SORT OF A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME. 1483 00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:19,520 THIS IS SORT OF A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME. I MEAN, GOING TO BROADWAY, GOING 1484 00:51:19,544 --> 00:51:21,221 TRUE FOR ME. I MEAN, GOING TO BROADWAY, GOING TO NEW YORK. 1485 00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:23,223 I MEAN, GOING TO BROADWAY, GOING TO NEW YORK. I'VE PLAYED EVERY TOWN AND EVERY 1486 00:51:23,247 --> 00:51:26,093 TO NEW YORK. I'VE PLAYED EVERY TOWN AND EVERY BURGH ACROSS THIS COUNTRY. 1487 00:51:26,117 --> 00:51:27,361 I'VE PLAYED EVERY TOWN AND EVERY BURGH ACROSS THIS COUNTRY. [HUMMING TO "GIVE MY REGARDS 1488 00:51:27,385 --> 00:51:29,396 BURGH ACROSS THIS COUNTRY. [HUMMING TO "GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROADWAY"] 1489 00:51:29,420 --> 00:51:30,664 [HUMMING TO "GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROADWAY"] AND I HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN ON THE 1490 00:51:30,688 --> 00:51:31,631 [TO BROADWAY"] AND I HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN ON THE TOP OF THE BILL, EITHER. 1491 00:51:31,655 --> 00:51:32,299 AND I HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN ON THE TOP OF THE BILL, EITHER. HEY! 1492 00:51:32,323 --> 00:51:33,167 TOP OF THE BILL, EITHER. HEY! HEY, HERE'S A GIRL. 1493 00:51:33,191 --> 00:51:34,801 HEY! HEY, HERE'S A GIRL. SHE'S GOING THE SAME PLACE WE'RE 1494 00:51:34,825 --> 00:51:35,269 HEY, HERE'S A GIRL. SHE'S GOING THE SAME PLACE WE'RE GOING! 1495 00:51:35,293 --> 00:51:36,002 SHE'S GOING THE SAME PLACE WE'RE GOING! HEY, COME ON! 1496 00:51:36,026 --> 00:51:37,504 GOING! HEY, COME ON! WE'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT! 1497 00:51:37,528 --> 00:51:39,005 HEY, COME ON! WE'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT! WE'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT! 1498 00:51:39,029 --> 00:51:40,374 WE'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT! WE'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT! I WANT TO GO FOR A RIDE IN YOUR 1499 00:51:40,398 --> 00:51:40,807 WE'LL GIVE YOU A LIFT! I WANT TO GO FOR A RIDE IN YOUR CHAIR. 1500 00:51:40,831 --> 00:51:43,310 I WANT TO GO FOR A RIDE IN YOUR CHAIR. HEY, I WAS GETTING A SUNBURN. 1501 00:51:43,334 --> 00:51:44,511 CHAIR. HEY, I WAS GETTING A SUNBURN. MY NAME'S TESS. 1502 00:51:44,535 --> 00:51:46,080 HEY, I WAS GETTING A SUNBURN. MY NAME'S TESS. HOW YOU DOING? 1503 00:51:46,104 --> 00:51:48,115 MY NAME'S TESS. HOW YOU DOING? I'M CRYSTAL, THE TERRIBLE 1504 00:51:48,139 --> 00:51:49,116 HOW YOU DOING? I'M CRYSTAL, THE TERRIBLE TUMBLEWEED. 1505 00:51:49,140 --> 00:51:50,617 I'M CRYSTAL, THE TERRIBLE TUMBLEWEED. WHY CAN'T SOMEONE LIKE THAT 1506 00:51:50,641 --> 00:51:53,454 TUMBLEWEED. WHY CAN'T SOMEONE LIKE THAT JUST STAY HOME? 1507 00:51:53,478 --> 00:51:55,556 WHY CAN'T SOMEONE LIKE THAT JUST STAY HOME? LET ME GET A BETTER LOOK AT 1508 00:51:55,580 --> 00:51:57,357 JUST STAY HOME? LET ME GET A BETTER LOOK AT YOU. 1509 00:51:57,381 --> 00:51:58,792 LET ME GET A BETTER LOOK AT YOU. WELL, YOU'RE AN INTERESTING 1510 00:51:58,816 --> 00:51:59,593 YOU. WELL, YOU'RE AN INTERESTING GROUP. 1511 00:51:59,617 --> 00:52:00,094 WELL, YOU'RE AN INTERESTING GROUP. [LAUGHTER] 1512 00:52:00,118 --> 00:52:01,195 GROUP. [LAUGHTER] ♪ FOUND A PEANUT, 1513 00:52:01,219 --> 00:52:02,496 [LAUGHTER] ♪ FOUND A PEANUT, FOUND A PEANUT, 1514 00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:05,265 ♪ FOUND A PEANUT, FOUND A PEANUT, FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ 1515 00:52:05,289 --> 00:52:06,967 FOUND A PEANUT, FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ ♪ I JUST NOW FOUND A PEANUT ♪ 1516 00:52:06,991 --> 00:52:10,003 FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ ♪ I JUST NOW FOUND A PEANUT ♪ ♪ FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ 1517 00:52:10,027 --> 00:52:11,838 ♪ I JUST NOW FOUND A PEANUT ♪ ♪ FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ ♪ FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR, 1518 00:52:11,862 --> 00:52:13,540 ♪ FOUND A PEANUT JUST NOW ♪ ♪ FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR, FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR, 1519 00:52:13,564 --> 00:52:16,684 ♪ FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR, FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR, FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR JUST NOW ♪ 1520 00:52:28,578 --> 00:52:32,159 HELLO. I'M ALEX HALEY. SLAVERY... PRACTICED IN THIS 1521 00:52:32,183 --> 00:52:34,027 I'M ALEX HALEY. SLAVERY... PRACTICED IN THIS COUNTRY FROM 1609 TO 1865 OR 1522 00:52:34,051 --> 00:52:35,962 SLAVERY... PRACTICED IN THIS COUNTRY FROM 1609 TO 1865 OR '70, A TIME IN THIS COUNTRY'S 1523 00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:37,964 COUNTRY FROM 1609 TO 1865 OR '70, A TIME IN THIS COUNTRY'S HISTORY THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD 1524 00:52:37,988 --> 00:52:40,000 '70, A TIME IN THIS COUNTRY'S HISTORY THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD JUST AS SOON FORGET, AND ALMOST 1525 00:52:40,024 --> 00:52:42,102 HISTORY THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD JUST AS SOON FORGET, AND ALMOST EVERYBODY DID UNTIL ABC PRODUCED 1526 00:52:42,126 --> 00:52:43,737 JUST AS SOON FORGET, AND ALMOST EVERYBODY DID UNTIL ABC PRODUCED A TV VERSION OF MY BOOK, 1527 00:52:43,761 --> 00:52:44,471 EVERYBODY DID UNTIL ABC PRODUCED A TV VERSION OF MY BOOK, "ROOTS." 1528 00:52:44,495 --> 00:52:46,540 A TV VERSION OF MY BOOK, "ROOTS." 80 MILLION PEOPLE VIEWED THE 1529 00:52:46,564 --> 00:52:48,775 "ROOTS." 80 MILLION PEOPLE VIEWED THE FINAL EPISODE, AND IN ONE WEEK 1530 00:52:48,799 --> 00:52:50,544 80 MILLION PEOPLE VIEWED THE FINAL EPISODE, AND IN ONE WEEK ABC SOLD $61 MILLION IN 1531 00:52:50,568 --> 00:52:51,612 FINAL EPISODE, AND IN ONE WEEK ABC SOLD $61 MILLION IN ADVERTISING. 1532 00:52:51,636 --> 00:52:54,148 ABC SOLD $61 MILLION IN ADVERTISING. AND THE NEXT MORNING, THIS WHITE 1533 00:52:54,172 --> 00:52:56,350 ADVERTISING. AND THE NEXT MORNING, THIS WHITE DUDE FROM NBC CALLS ME... I 1534 00:52:56,374 --> 00:52:58,685 AND THE NEXT MORNING, THIS WHITE DUDE FROM NBC CALLS ME... I MEAN, THIS REALLY WHITE DUDE, 1535 00:52:58,709 --> 00:52:59,286 DUDE FROM NBC CALLS ME... I MEAN, THIS REALLY WHITE DUDE, MAN. 1536 00:52:59,310 --> 00:53:01,688 MEAN, THIS REALLY WHITE DUDE, MAN. HE SAYS, "WE WANT 'ROOTS II.'" 1537 00:53:01,712 --> 00:53:03,257 MAN. HE SAYS, "WE WANT 'ROOTS II.'" SO I SAY, "LIKE, MAN, I ALREADY 1538 00:53:03,281 --> 00:53:03,790 HE SAYS, "WE WANT 'ROOTS II.'" SO I SAY, "LIKE, MAN, I ALREADY DID IT. 1539 00:53:03,814 --> 00:53:05,225 SO I SAY, "LIKE, MAN, I ALREADY DID IT. I'M FRESH OUT OF RELATIVES." 1540 00:53:05,249 --> 00:53:08,662 DID IT. I'M FRESH OUT OF RELATIVES." SO HE SAYS, "WE'LL PAY YOU 1541 00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:10,531 I'M FRESH OUT OF RELATIVES." SO HE SAYS, "WE'LL PAY YOU $3 MILLION." 1542 00:53:10,555 --> 00:53:13,200 SO HE SAYS, "WE'LL PAY YOU $3 MILLION." SO I SAY, "DAMN, IF I AIN'T GOT 1543 00:53:13,224 --> 00:53:15,802 $3 MILLION." SO I SAY, "DAMN, IF I AIN'T GOT A GREAT-GREAT GRANDPA I FORGOT 1544 00:53:15,826 --> 00:53:17,638 SO I SAY, "DAMN, IF I AIN'T GOT A GREAT-GREAT GRANDPA I FORGOT ALL ABOUT." 1545 00:53:17,662 --> 00:53:19,339 A GREAT-GREAT GRANDPA I FORGOT ALL ABOUT." LIKE, MAN, THIS IS A SAD, SAD 1546 00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:19,906 ALL ABOUT." LIKE, MAN, THIS IS A SAD, SAD STORY. 1547 00:53:19,930 --> 00:53:21,741 LIKE, MAN, THIS IS A SAD, SAD STORY. WHEN THEY CAME HERE, THEY DIDN'T 1548 00:53:21,765 --> 00:53:23,043 STORY. WHEN THEY CAME HERE, THEY DIDN'T HAVE NO MONEY AT ALL. 1549 00:53:23,067 --> 00:53:24,911 WHEN THEY CAME HERE, THEY DIDN'T HAVE NO MONEY AT ALL. IT TOOK ME 12 YEARS TO WRITE THE 1550 00:53:24,935 --> 00:53:26,547 HAVE NO MONEY AT ALL. IT TOOK ME 12 YEARS TO WRITE THE FIRST ONE, BUT I HAD TO DO A 1551 00:53:26,571 --> 00:53:27,847 IT TOOK ME 12 YEARS TO WRITE THE FIRST ONE, BUT I HAD TO DO A RUSH JOB ON THIS ONE. 1552 00:53:27,871 --> 00:53:30,016 FIRST ONE, BUT I HAD TO DO A RUSH JOB ON THIS ONE. I DID IT IN FOUR DAYS. 1553 00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:32,352 RUSH JOB ON THIS ONE. I DID IT IN FOUR DAYS. NOW, IT'S A LITTLE BIT RUSHED, 1554 00:53:32,376 --> 00:53:33,720 I DID IT IN FOUR DAYS. NOW, IT'S A LITTLE BIT RUSHED, BUT HERE IT BE. 1555 00:53:33,744 --> 00:53:37,257 NOW, IT'S A LITTLE BIT RUSHED, BUT HERE IT BE. I PROUDLY PRESENT "ROOTS II." 1556 00:53:37,281 --> 00:53:39,915 BUT HERE IT BE. I PROUDLY PRESENT "ROOTS II." ["ROOTS" THEME PLAYS] 1557 00:53:48,191 --> 00:53:51,104 MAN, YOU GOT TO LEARN THIS LANGUAGE IF YOU'RE GONNA GET BY, MAN. 1558 00:53:51,128 --> 00:53:52,339 LANGUAGE IF YOU'RE GONNA GET BY, MAN. NOW, WHAT'S THIS OVER HERE? 1559 00:53:52,363 --> 00:53:54,040 MAN. NOW, WHAT'S THIS OVER HERE? THAT BE A WINDOW. 1560 00:53:54,064 --> 00:53:54,808 NOW, WHAT'S THIS OVER HERE? THAT BE A WINDOW. RIGHT. 1561 00:53:54,832 --> 00:53:56,543 THAT BE A WINDOW. RIGHT. NOW, WHAT'S THAT, RIGHT OVER 1562 00:53:56,567 --> 00:53:57,143 RIGHT. NOW, WHAT'S THAT, RIGHT OVER THERE? 1563 00:53:57,167 --> 00:53:58,878 NOW, WHAT'S THAT, RIGHT OVER THERE? THAT'S A HORSE. 1564 00:53:58,902 --> 00:54:00,247 THERE? THAT'S A HORSE. ALL RIGHT. 1565 00:54:00,271 --> 00:54:02,048 THAT'S A HORSE. ALL RIGHT. I'M TIRED OF THIS. 1566 00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:04,150 ALL RIGHT. I'M TIRED OF THIS. NO CRAZY CRACKER'S GONNA SELL 1567 00:54:04,174 --> 00:54:06,286 I'M TIRED OF THIS. NO CRAZY CRACKER'S GONNA SELL THE SON OF A MANDINKO WARRIOR. 1568 00:54:06,310 --> 00:54:08,722 NO CRAZY CRACKER'S GONNA SELL THE SON OF A MANDINKO WARRIOR. I AM BOP-SHU-WOP, SON OF 1569 00:54:08,746 --> 00:54:11,858 THE SON OF A MANDINKO WARRIOR. I AM BOP-SHU-WOP, SON OF SHA-NA-NA, GRANDSON OF THE GREAT 1570 00:54:11,882 --> 00:54:15,262 I AM BOP-SHU-WOP, SON OF SHA-NA-NA, GRANDSON OF THE GREAT HOLY MAN, SHA-BOOM, SHA-BOOM. 1571 00:54:15,286 --> 00:54:16,730 SHA-NA-NA, GRANDSON OF THE GREAT HOLY MAN, SHA-BOOM, SHA-BOOM. WELL, THESE CATS DON'T GO FOR 1572 00:54:16,754 --> 00:54:18,131 HOLY MAN, SHA-BOOM, SHA-BOOM. WELL, THESE CATS DON'T GO FOR NONE OF THAT JUNGLE JABBER, SO 1573 00:54:18,155 --> 00:54:19,433 WELL, THESE CATS DON'T GO FOR NONE OF THAT JUNGLE JABBER, SO YOU BETTER QUIT TALKING LIKE 1574 00:54:19,457 --> 00:54:19,833 NONE OF THAT JUNGLE JABBER, SO YOU BETTER QUIT TALKING LIKE THAT. 1575 00:54:19,857 --> 00:54:20,967 YOU BETTER QUIT TALKING LIKE THAT. THEY'LL CUT OUT YOUR TONGUE. 1576 00:54:20,991 --> 00:54:22,168 THAT. THEY'LL CUT OUT YOUR TONGUE. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 1577 00:54:22,192 --> 00:54:23,136 THEY'LL CUT OUT YOUR TONGUE. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? NOW, WHAT'S THAT, RIGHT OVER 1578 00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:23,537 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? NOW, WHAT'S THAT, RIGHT OVER THERE? 1579 00:54:23,561 --> 00:54:24,271 NOW, WHAT'S THAT, RIGHT OVER THERE? OH, THAT BE A SPOON. 1580 00:54:24,295 --> 00:54:24,738 THERE? OH, THAT BE A SPOON. NO. 1581 00:54:24,762 --> 00:54:25,805 OH, THAT BE A SPOON. NO. THAT BE A BARREL. 1582 00:54:25,829 --> 00:54:26,273 NO. THAT BE A BARREL. NO. 1583 00:54:26,297 --> 00:54:27,574 THAT BE A BARREL. NO. THAT BE A LIGHTNING STICK 1584 00:54:27,598 --> 00:54:29,142 NO. THAT BE A LIGHTNING STICK THEY'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF WITH, 1585 00:54:29,166 --> 00:54:30,210 THAT BE A LIGHTNING STICK THEY'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF WITH, YOU TRY TO RUN AWAY. 1586 00:54:30,234 --> 00:54:31,678 THEY'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF WITH, YOU TRY TO RUN AWAY. NOW, WHAT'S THIS, RIGHT HERE? 1587 00:54:31,702 --> 00:54:32,312 YOU TRY TO RUN AWAY. NOW, WHAT'S THIS, RIGHT HERE? THAT? 1588 00:54:32,336 --> 00:54:33,313 NOW, WHAT'S THIS, RIGHT HERE? THAT? OH! 1589 00:54:33,337 --> 00:54:36,283 THAT? OH! Both: THAT BE AN OLD ONE! 1590 00:54:36,307 --> 00:54:39,052 OH! Both: THAT BE AN OLD ONE! GIVE ME THAT LONG SOUL. 1591 00:54:39,076 --> 00:54:40,387 Both: THAT BE AN OLD ONE! GIVE ME THAT LONG SOUL. HEY. 1592 00:54:40,411 --> 00:54:41,688 GIVE ME THAT LONG SOUL. HEY. AAH! 1593 00:54:41,712 --> 00:54:44,758 HEY. AAH! OH, MAN! 1594 00:54:44,782 --> 00:54:46,226 AAH! OH, MAN! NO, MAN, YOU GOT TO UNLOCK MY 1595 00:54:46,250 --> 00:54:48,161 OH, MAN! NO, MAN, YOU GOT TO UNLOCK MY FACE FIRST. 1596 00:54:48,185 --> 00:54:49,296 NO, MAN, YOU GOT TO UNLOCK MY FACE FIRST. THANK YOU. 1597 00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,398 FACE FIRST. THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY COME ON 1598 00:54:51,422 --> 00:54:54,100 THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY COME ON OUT FOR NAME CHANGING. 1599 00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:55,302 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY COME ON OUT FOR NAME CHANGING. COME ON OUT HERE. 1600 00:54:55,326 --> 00:54:56,836 OUT FOR NAME CHANGING. COME ON OUT HERE. YOU, COME OUT HERE. 1601 00:54:56,860 --> 00:54:58,572 COME ON OUT HERE. YOU, COME OUT HERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BOY? 1602 00:54:58,596 --> 00:55:02,175 YOU, COME OUT HERE. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BOY? MY NAME IS BOP-SHU-WOP. 1603 00:55:02,199 --> 00:55:05,178 WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BOY? MY NAME IS BOP-SHU-WOP. WELL, FROM NOW ON YOUR NAME 1604 00:55:05,202 --> 00:55:08,749 MY NAME IS BOP-SHU-WOP. WELL, FROM NOW ON YOUR NAME IS... PEGGY FLEMING. 1605 00:55:08,773 --> 00:55:09,750 WELL, FROM NOW ON YOUR NAME IS... PEGGY FLEMING. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 1606 00:55:09,774 --> 00:55:10,651 IS... PEGGY FLEMING. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? BOP-SHU-WOP. 1607 00:55:10,675 --> 00:55:11,652 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? BOP-SHU-WOP. PEGGY FLEMING! 1608 00:55:11,676 --> 00:55:12,486 BOP-SHU-WOP. PEGGY FLEMING! AAH! 1609 00:55:12,510 --> 00:55:13,654 PEGGY FLEMING! AAH! BOP-SHU-WOP. 1610 00:55:13,678 --> 00:55:14,621 AAH! BOP-SHU-WOP. PEGGY FLEMING! 1611 00:55:14,645 --> 00:55:15,822 BOP-SHU-WOP. PEGGY FLEMING! OW! 1612 00:55:15,846 --> 00:55:17,357 PEGGY FLEMING! OW! [Quickly] BOP-SHU-WOP. 1613 00:55:17,381 --> 00:55:18,392 OW! [Quickly] BOP-SHU-WOP. AAH! 1614 00:55:18,416 --> 00:55:19,926 [Quickly] BOP-SHU-WOP. AAH! WHAT ABOUT... 'CAUSE EVERYBODY 1615 00:55:19,950 --> 00:55:21,127 AAH! WHAT ABOUT... 'CAUSE EVERYBODY CALLS ME "THE DOCTOR." 1616 00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:21,961 WHAT ABOUT... 'CAUSE EVERYBODY CALLS ME "THE DOCTOR." OW, OW! 1617 00:55:21,985 --> 00:55:23,129 CALLS ME "THE DOCTOR." OW, OW! OW-OW-OW-OW! 1618 00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:24,464 OW, OW! OW-OW-OW-OW! OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 1619 00:55:24,488 --> 00:55:25,198 OW-OW-OW-OW! OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. OKAY. 1620 00:55:25,222 --> 00:55:26,166 OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. OKAY. PEGGY FLEMING. 1621 00:55:26,190 --> 00:55:27,967 OKAY. PEGGY FLEMING. THAT DO HAVE A NICE RING TO IT. 1622 00:55:27,991 --> 00:55:29,235 PEGGY FLEMING. THAT DO HAVE A NICE RING TO IT. OKAY. 1623 00:55:29,259 --> 00:55:33,640 THAT DO HAVE A NICE RING TO IT. OKAY. COME ON UP HERE. 1624 00:55:33,664 --> 00:55:35,776 OKAY. COME ON UP HERE. SEE, LOOKY HERE. 1625 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,076 COME ON UP HERE. SEE, LOOKY HERE. MAMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER 1626 00:55:37,100 --> 00:55:39,179 SEE, LOOKY HERE. MAMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER THE SHOW? 1627 00:55:39,203 --> 00:55:40,880 MAMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER THE SHOW? OH, UM, I'VE DONE A LOT OF 1628 00:55:40,904 --> 00:55:42,683 THE SHOW? OH, UM, I'VE DONE A LOT OF KIDDING, BUT, SERIOUSLY, MY 1629 00:55:42,707 --> 00:55:44,651 OH, UM, I'VE DONE A LOT OF KIDDING, BUT, SERIOUSLY, MY FAMILY TREE IS NOW THE PRIDE OF 1630 00:55:44,675 --> 00:55:45,385 KIDDING, BUT, SERIOUSLY, MY FAMILY TREE IS NOW THE PRIDE OF MY LIFE. 1631 00:55:45,409 --> 00:55:47,020 FAMILY TREE IS NOW THE PRIDE OF MY LIFE. MY GREAT-GREAT GRANDMOTHER WAS 1632 00:55:47,044 --> 00:55:48,422 MY LIFE. MY GREAT-GREAT GRANDMOTHER WAS LESLIE UGGAMS, WHO ALMOST 1633 00:55:48,446 --> 00:55:49,989 MY GREAT-GREAT GRANDMOTHER WAS LESLIE UGGAMS, WHO ALMOST MARRIED THE GUY FROM "WELCOME 1634 00:55:50,013 --> 00:55:50,890 LESLIE UGGAMS, WHO ALMOST MARRIED THE GUY FROM "WELCOME BACK, KOTTER." 1635 00:55:50,914 --> 00:55:52,826 MARRIED THE GUY FROM "WELCOME BACK, KOTTER." AND HER FATHER WAS JOHN AMOS, 1636 00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:54,961 BACK, KOTTER." AND HER FATHER WAS JOHN AMOS, WHO MARRIED FLORIDA, WHO USED TO 1637 00:55:54,985 --> 00:55:56,095 AND HER FATHER WAS JOHN AMOS, WHO MARRIED FLORIDA, WHO USED TO WORK FOR MAUDE. 1638 00:55:56,119 --> 00:55:57,897 WHO MARRIED FLORIDA, WHO USED TO WORK FOR MAUDE. AND THEN THEY GOT THEIR SERIES, 1639 00:55:57,921 --> 00:55:59,499 WORK FOR MAUDE. AND THEN THEY GOT THEIR SERIES, AND THEY GAVE BIRTH TO 1640 00:55:59,523 --> 00:56:00,500 AND THEN THEY GOT THEIR SERIES, AND THEY GAVE BIRTH TO J.J. WALKER. 1641 00:56:00,524 --> 00:56:02,202 AND THEY GAVE BIRTH TO J.J. WALKER. AND MY GREAT-GREAT UNCLE WAS 1642 00:56:02,226 --> 00:56:03,770 J.J. WALKER. AND MY GREAT-GREAT UNCLE WAS THALMUS RUSSELL LALA, WHO KNEW 1643 00:56:03,794 --> 00:56:05,439 AND MY GREAT-GREAT UNCLE WAS THALMUS RUSSELL LALA, WHO KNEW O.J. SIMPSON IN THE OLD COUNTRY, 1644 00:56:05,463 --> 00:56:06,740 THALMUS RUSSELL LALA, WHO KNEW O.J. SIMPSON IN THE OLD COUNTRY, WHO WAS A GREAT UNCLE TO 1645 00:56:06,764 --> 00:56:08,241 O.J. SIMPSON IN THE OLD COUNTRY, WHO WAS A GREAT UNCLE TO BEN VEREEN, WHO RAN AWAY FROM 1646 00:56:08,265 --> 00:56:09,108 WHO WAS A GREAT UNCLE TO BEN VEREEN, WHO RAN AWAY FROM LLOYD BRIDGES. 1647 00:56:09,132 --> 00:56:10,811 BEN VEREEN, WHO RAN AWAY FROM LLOYD BRIDGES. IT'S A CHECKERED PAST. 1648 00:56:10,835 --> 00:56:12,813 LLOYD BRIDGES. IT'S A CHECKERED PAST. IMAGINE ME BEING RELATED TO 1649 00:56:12,837 --> 00:56:13,880 IT'S A CHECKERED PAST. IMAGINE ME BEING RELATED TO J.J. WALKER. 1650 00:56:13,904 --> 00:56:15,014 IMAGINE ME BEING RELATED TO J.J. WALKER. DYN-O-MITE! 1651 00:56:15,038 --> 00:56:16,783 J.J. WALKER. DYN-O-MITE! ["ROOTS" THEME PLAYS] 1652 00:56:16,807 --> 00:56:18,117 DYN-O-MITE! ["ROOTS" THEME PLAYS] THEY'RE SELLING GREAT-GREAT 1653 00:56:18,141 --> 00:56:19,085 ["ROOTS" THEME PLAYS] THEY'RE SELLING GREAT-GREAT GRANDPA RIGHT NOW. 1654 00:56:19,109 --> 00:56:20,854 THEY'RE SELLING GREAT-GREAT GRANDPA RIGHT NOW. I WANT TO SEE THIS. 1655 00:56:20,878 --> 00:56:22,522 GRANDPA RIGHT NOW. I WANT TO SEE THIS. HELLO, AGAIN, EVERYBODY. 1656 00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:24,057 I WANT TO SEE THIS. HELLO, AGAIN, EVERYBODY. IT'S TRADING TIME AGAIN. 1657 00:56:24,081 --> 00:56:25,959 HELLO, AGAIN, EVERYBODY. IT'S TRADING TIME AGAIN. I'M YOUR FRIEND, LENNY DUCKMAN, 1658 00:56:25,983 --> 00:56:27,894 IT'S TRADING TIME AGAIN. I'M YOUR FRIEND, LENNY DUCKMAN, AND I HOPE I'M GOING TO HELP YOU 1659 00:56:27,918 --> 00:56:28,695 I'M YOUR FRIEND, LENNY DUCKMAN, AND I HOPE I'M GOING TO HELP YOU OUT TODAY. 1660 00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:30,129 AND I HOPE I'M GOING TO HELP YOU OUT TODAY. YOU SAY YOU NEED SOME HEAVY 1661 00:56:30,153 --> 00:56:30,964 OUT TODAY. YOU SAY YOU NEED SOME HEAVY YARD WORK DONE? 1662 00:56:30,988 --> 00:56:31,965 YOU SAY YOU NEED SOME HEAVY YARD WORK DONE? WELL, TALK TO ME. 1663 00:56:31,989 --> 00:56:33,299 YARD WORK DONE? WELL, TALK TO ME. THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR. 1664 00:56:33,323 --> 00:56:34,901 WELL, TALK TO ME. THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR. IF I CAN'T HELP YOU, I'LL STILL 1665 00:56:34,925 --> 00:56:36,436 THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR. IF I CAN'T HELP YOU, I'LL STILL GIVE YOU THIS FREE NUTCRACKER 1666 00:56:36,460 --> 00:56:37,504 IF I CAN'T HELP YOU, I'LL STILL GIVE YOU THIS FREE NUTCRACKER JUST FOR SEEING ME FIRST. 1667 00:56:37,528 --> 00:56:38,672 GIVE YOU THIS FREE NUTCRACKER JUST FOR SEEING ME FIRST. LOOK AT THIS HANDSOME MODEL 1668 00:56:38,696 --> 00:56:39,239 JUST FOR SEEING ME FIRST. LOOK AT THIS HANDSOME MODEL RIGHT HERE. 1669 00:56:39,263 --> 00:56:40,974 LOOK AT THIS HANDSOME MODEL RIGHT HERE. IT'S 25-YEAR-OLD BUBOOZOO... 1670 00:56:40,998 --> 00:56:42,576 RIGHT HERE. IT'S 25-YEAR-OLD BUBOOZOO... GREAT TEETH, GREAT SPIRIT. 1671 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:47,113 IT'S 25-YEAR-OLD BUBOOZOO... GREAT TEETH, GREAT SPIRIT. WAS $800, NOW ONLY $599. 1672 00:56:47,137 --> 00:56:49,983 GREAT TEETH, GREAT SPIRIT. WAS $800, NOW ONLY $599. A 22-YEAR-OLD WARRIOR NOW ONLY 1673 00:56:50,007 --> 00:56:50,817 WAS $800, NOW ONLY $599. A 22-YEAR-OLD WARRIOR NOW ONLY $499. 1674 00:56:50,841 --> 00:56:52,952 A 22-YEAR-OLD WARRIOR NOW ONLY $499. AND OUR PRIZE MODEL TODAY, AN 1675 00:56:52,976 --> 00:56:54,888 $499. AND OUR PRIZE MODEL TODAY, AN 18-YEAR-OLD FULLY EQUIPPED 1676 00:56:54,912 --> 00:56:57,056 AND OUR PRIZE MODEL TODAY, AN 18-YEAR-OLD FULLY EQUIPPED MANDINKO WARRIOR... ONLY $599. 1677 00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:58,658 18-YEAR-OLD FULLY EQUIPPED MANDINKO WARRIOR... ONLY $599. THROW AWAY THE STICKER PRICE. 1678 00:56:58,682 --> 00:57:00,794 MANDINKO WARRIOR... ONLY $599. THROW AWAY THE STICKER PRICE. MAKE ME AN OFFER. 1679 00:57:00,818 --> 00:57:02,929 THROW AWAY THE STICKER PRICE. MAKE ME AN OFFER. WELL, JUST HOW EQUIPPED IS 1680 00:57:02,953 --> 00:57:04,664 MAKE ME AN OFFER. WELL, JUST HOW EQUIPPED IS THIS WELL-EQUIPPED ONE? 1681 00:57:04,688 --> 00:57:06,833 WELL, JUST HOW EQUIPPED IS THIS WELL-EQUIPPED ONE? SEE, I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING 1682 00:57:06,857 --> 00:57:08,334 THIS WELL-EQUIPPED ONE? SEE, I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING FOR MY SUMMER HOME. 1683 00:57:08,358 --> 00:57:09,770 SEE, I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING FOR MY SUMMER HOME. I ENTERTAIN A LOT. 1684 00:57:09,794 --> 00:57:11,337 FOR MY SUMMER HOME. I ENTERTAIN A LOT. HEY, BROWN SUGAR, YOU WANT TO 1685 00:57:11,361 --> 00:57:12,839 I ENTERTAIN A LOT. HEY, BROWN SUGAR, YOU WANT TO SEE WHERE THE HORSE BIT ME? 1686 00:57:12,863 --> 00:57:15,542 HEY, BROWN SUGAR, YOU WANT TO SEE WHERE THE HORSE BIT ME? OOH, CAREFUL THERE, MA'AM. 1687 00:57:15,566 --> 00:57:16,943 SEE WHERE THE HORSE BIT ME? OOH, CAREFUL THERE, MA'AM. HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! 1688 00:57:16,967 --> 00:57:19,212 OOH, CAREFUL THERE, MA'AM. HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! NICE TO HANDLE, NICE TO HOLD, 1689 00:57:19,236 --> 00:57:21,415 HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO! NICE TO HANDLE, NICE TO HOLD, BUT IF YOU SCRATCH HIM, MARK 1690 00:57:21,439 --> 00:57:23,884 NICE TO HANDLE, NICE TO HOLD, BUT IF YOU SCRATCH HIM, MARK HIM SOLD! 1691 00:57:23,908 --> 00:57:25,051 BUT IF YOU SCRATCH HIM, MARK HIM SOLD! I JUST LOVE HIM. 1692 00:57:25,075 --> 00:57:26,787 HIM SOLD! I JUST LOVE HIM. IN FACT, THEY'RE ALL WONDERFUL. 1693 00:57:26,811 --> 00:57:27,954 I JUST LOVE HIM. IN FACT, THEY'RE ALL WONDERFUL. I'LL TAKE THEM ALL. 1694 00:57:27,978 --> 00:57:29,122 IN FACT, THEY'RE ALL WONDERFUL. I'LL TAKE THEM ALL. WELL, ALL RIGHT! 1695 00:57:29,146 --> 00:57:30,857 I'LL TAKE THEM ALL. WELL, ALL RIGHT! YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL, LITTLE 1696 00:57:30,881 --> 00:57:31,357 WELL, ALL RIGHT! YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL, LITTLE LADY. 1697 00:57:31,381 --> 00:57:32,992 YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL, LITTLE LADY. [CHUCKLES] 1698 00:57:33,016 --> 00:57:34,561 LADY. [CHUCKLES] THAT'S AS MUCH AS I WROTE. 1699 00:57:34,585 --> 00:57:36,129 [CHUCKLES] THAT'S AS MUCH AS I WROTE. IT WAS A RUSH JOB, REMEMBER? 1700 00:57:36,153 --> 00:57:36,863 THAT'S AS MUCH AS I WROTE. IT WAS A RUSH JOB, REMEMBER? I TOLD YOU. 1701 00:57:36,887 --> 00:57:39,800 IT WAS A RUSH JOB, REMEMBER? I TOLD YOU. BUT IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE, 1702 00:57:39,824 --> 00:57:42,268 I TOLD YOU. BUT IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE, TUNE IN TO "ROOTS III." 1703 00:57:42,292 --> 00:57:44,203 BUT IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE, TUNE IN TO "ROOTS III." I'M TRACING MY MOTHER'S SIDE OF 1704 00:57:44,227 --> 00:57:45,104 TUNE IN TO "ROOTS III." I'M TRACING MY MOTHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY. 1705 00:57:45,128 --> 00:57:50,977 I'M TRACING MY MOTHER'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY. IT STARTS TUESDAY ON CBS. 1706 00:57:51,001 --> 00:57:53,282 THE FAMILY. IT STARTS TUESDAY ON CBS. ["ROOTS" THEME PLAYS] 1707 00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:06,793 Announcer: ONCE AGAIN, THE KINKS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1708 00:58:06,817 --> 00:58:07,928 KINKS. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [INTRODUCTION TO "SLEEPWALKER" 1709 00:58:07,952 --> 00:58:10,233 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [INTRODUCTION TO "SLEEPWALKER" PLAYS] 1710 00:58:20,229 --> 00:58:24,243 ♪ WELL, EVERYBODY'S GOT PROBLEMS, BUDDY ♪ ♪ I GOT MINE ♪ 1711 00:58:24,267 --> 00:58:25,345 PROBLEMS, BUDDY ♪ ♪ I GOT MINE ♪ ♪ BUT WHEN MIDNIGHT COMES 1712 00:58:25,369 --> 00:58:25,879 ♪ I GOT MINE ♪ ♪ BUT WHEN MIDNIGHT COMES AROUND, 1713 00:58:25,903 --> 00:58:28,348 ♪ BUT WHEN MIDNIGHT COMES AROUND, I START TO LOSE MY MIND ♪ 1714 00:58:28,372 --> 00:58:29,015 AROUND, I START TO LOSE MY MIND ♪ ♪ WHEN THE SUN 1715 00:58:29,039 --> 00:58:30,383 I START TO LOSE MY MIND ♪ ♪ WHEN THE SUN PUTS OUT THE LIGHT, 1716 00:58:30,407 --> 00:58:31,250 ♪ WHEN THE SUN PUTS OUT THE LIGHT, I JOIN THE CREATURES 1717 00:58:31,274 --> 00:58:32,586 PUTS OUT THE LIGHT, I JOIN THE CREATURES OF THE NIGHT ♪ 1718 00:58:32,610 --> 00:58:40,610 I JOIN THE CREATURES OF THE NIGHT ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ 1719 00:58:40,885 --> 00:58:44,698 OF THE NIGHT ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ 1720 00:58:44,722 --> 00:58:48,969 ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A NIGHT STALKER ♪ 1721 00:58:48,993 --> 00:58:53,106 ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A NIGHT STALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ 1722 00:58:53,130 --> 00:58:57,343 ♪ I'M A NIGHT STALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A NIGHT HAWKER ♪ 1723 00:58:57,367 --> 00:58:59,245 ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A NIGHT HAWKER ♪ ♪ EVERYBODY GOT SECRETS 1724 00:58:59,269 --> 00:59:01,481 ♪ I'M A NIGHT HAWKER ♪ ♪ EVERYBODY GOT SECRETS THAT THEY WANNA HIDE ♪ 1725 00:59:01,505 --> 00:59:02,549 ♪ EVERYBODY GOT SECRETS THAT THEY WANNA HIDE ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WHEN MIDNIGHT COMES 1726 00:59:02,573 --> 00:59:05,251 THAT THEY WANNA HIDE ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WHEN MIDNIGHT COMES AROUND, I TAKE A LOOK INSIDE ♪ 1727 00:59:05,275 --> 00:59:06,252 ♪ 'CAUSE WHEN MIDNIGHT COMES AROUND, I TAKE A LOOK INSIDE ♪ ♪ SO DON'T GO TALKIN' 1728 00:59:06,276 --> 00:59:07,353 AROUND, I TAKE A LOOK INSIDE ♪ ♪ SO DON'T GO TALKIN' IN YOUR SLEEP ♪ 1729 00:59:07,377 --> 00:59:09,523 ♪ SO DON'T GO TALKIN' IN YOUR SLEEP ♪ ♪ I MIGHT COME IN FOR A PEEK ♪ 1730 00:59:09,547 --> 00:59:17,547 IN YOUR SLEEP ♪ ♪ I MIGHT COME IN FOR A PEEK ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ 1731 00:59:17,755 --> 00:59:21,701 ♪ I MIGHT COME IN FOR A PEEK ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ 1732 00:59:21,725 --> 00:59:25,906 ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A NIGHT STALKER ♪ 1733 00:59:25,930 --> 00:59:29,776 ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A NIGHT STALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ 1734 00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:32,968 ♪ I'M A NIGHT STALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A NIGHT HAWKER ♪ 1735 00:59:58,061 --> 01:00:03,643 ♪ WELL, WHEN EVERYBODY'S FAST ASLEEP, I WALK MY BEAT ♪ ♪ THROUGH THE SHADOWS AND THE 1736 01:00:03,667 --> 01:00:05,879 FAST ASLEEP, I WALK MY BEAT ♪ ♪ THROUGH THE SHADOWS AND THE MOONLIGHT, I START TO CREEP ♪ 1737 01:00:05,903 --> 01:00:07,681 ♪ THROUGH THE SHADOWS AND THE MOONLIGHT, I START TO CREEP ♪ ♪ SO BETTER CLOSE YOUR WINDOW 1738 01:00:07,705 --> 01:00:08,548 MOONLIGHT, I START TO CREEP ♪ ♪ SO BETTER CLOSE YOUR WINDOW TIGHT ♪ 1739 01:00:08,572 --> 01:00:10,483 ♪ SO BETTER CLOSE YOUR WINDOW TIGHT ♪ ♪ I MIGHT COME IN FOR A BITE ♪ 1740 01:00:10,507 --> 01:00:14,454 TIGHT ♪ ♪ I MIGHT COME IN FOR A BITE ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ 1741 01:00:14,478 --> 01:00:18,379 ♪ I MIGHT COME IN FOR A BITE ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ 1742 01:00:26,990 --> 01:00:30,336 ♪ WHEN THE NIGHTTIME COMES, I START TO CREEP ♪ ♪ I PROWL AROUND 1743 01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:31,537 I START TO CREEP ♪ ♪ I PROWL AROUND WHEN YOU'RE FAST ASLEEP ♪ 1744 01:00:31,561 --> 01:00:32,438 ♪ I PROWL AROUND WHEN YOU'RE FAST ASLEEP ♪ ♪ I WALK AROUND 1745 01:00:32,462 --> 01:00:33,539 WHEN YOU'RE FAST ASLEEP ♪ ♪ I WALK AROUND ON MY TIPPY TOES, 1746 01:00:33,563 --> 01:00:34,641 ♪ I WALK AROUND ON MY TIPPY TOES, AND I GET INTO PLACES 1747 01:00:34,665 --> 01:00:35,709 ON MY TIPPY TOES, AND I GET INTO PLACES THAT NOBODY KNOWS ♪ 1748 01:00:35,733 --> 01:00:36,776 AND I GET INTO PLACES THAT NOBODY KNOWS ♪ ♪ I'M ALWAYS AROUND 1749 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:37,744 THAT NOBODY KNOWS ♪ ♪ I'M ALWAYS AROUND IF YOU WANNA MEET ♪ 1750 01:00:37,768 --> 01:00:38,544 ♪ I'M ALWAYS AROUND IF YOU WANNA MEET ♪ ♪ YOU CAN FIND ME 1751 01:00:38,568 --> 01:00:39,746 IF YOU WANNA MEET ♪ ♪ YOU CAN FIND ME ON ALMOST EVERY STREET ♪ 1752 01:00:39,770 --> 01:00:40,947 ♪ YOU CAN FIND ME ON ALMOST EVERY STREET ♪ ♪ I'LL EVEN CALL YOU 1753 01:00:40,971 --> 01:00:42,048 ON ALMOST EVERY STREET ♪ ♪ I'LL EVEN CALL YOU ON THE TELEPHONE ♪ 1754 01:00:42,072 --> 01:00:43,016 ♪ I'LL EVEN CALL YOU ON THE TELEPHONE ♪ ♪ I'LL EVEN COME TO YOUR HOME 1755 01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:46,675 ON THE TELEPHONE ♪ ♪ I'LL EVEN COME TO YOUR HOME IF YOU'RE EVER ALONE ♪ 1756 01:00:52,048 --> 01:01:00,048 ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A NIGHT STALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ 1757 01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:04,203 ♪ I'M A NIGHT STALKER ♪ ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ NIGHT STALKER ♪ 1758 01:01:04,227 --> 01:01:06,139 ♪ I'M A SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ NIGHT STALKER ♪ ♪ SLEEPWALKER ♪ 1759 01:01:06,163 --> 01:01:07,874 ♪ NIGHT STALKER ♪ ♪ SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ NIGHT HAWKER ♪ 1760 01:01:07,898 --> 01:01:09,475 ♪ SLEEPWALKER ♪ ♪ NIGHT HAWKER ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ 1761 01:01:09,499 --> 01:01:11,711 ♪ NIGHT HAWKER ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ 1762 01:01:11,735 --> 01:01:13,412 ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ 1763 01:01:13,436 --> 01:01:17,205 ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ 1764 01:01:48,037 --> 01:01:50,839 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1765 01:02:00,049 --> 01:02:04,964 SO, ANYHOW, THE FIRST TIME I EVER CAME TO ONE OF THESE SINGLES BARS, I FELL DOWN THE 1766 01:02:04,988 --> 01:02:06,566 EVER CAME TO ONE OF THESE SINGLES BARS, I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND CRASHED INTO THE 1767 01:02:06,590 --> 01:02:07,701 SINGLES BARS, I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND CRASHED INTO THE CIGARETTE MACHINE. 1768 01:02:07,725 --> 01:02:09,969 STAIRS AND CRASHED INTO THE CIGARETTE MACHINE. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, 1769 01:02:09,993 --> 01:02:10,570 CIGARETTE MACHINE. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, TOO. 1770 01:02:10,594 --> 01:02:12,038 THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, TOO. YOU'RE KIDDING ME. 1771 01:02:12,062 --> 01:02:13,239 TOO. YOU'RE KIDDING ME. NO! 1772 01:02:13,263 --> 01:02:14,607 YOU'RE KIDDING ME. NO! WELL, I'LL BE HONEST WITH 1773 01:02:14,631 --> 01:02:14,974 NO! WELL, I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU. 1774 01:02:14,998 --> 01:02:16,475 WELL, I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU. WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU, I KIND OF 1775 01:02:16,499 --> 01:02:17,911 YOU. WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU, I KIND OF FIGURED THAT THAT HAPPENED TO 1776 01:02:17,935 --> 01:02:18,477 WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU, I KIND OF FIGURED THAT THAT HAPPENED TO YOU, TOO. 1777 01:02:18,501 --> 01:02:19,946 FIGURED THAT THAT HAPPENED TO YOU, TOO. REALLY? 1778 01:02:19,970 --> 01:02:21,147 YOU, TOO. REALLY? YEAH, JUST BY LOOKING AT YOU. 1779 01:02:21,171 --> 01:02:21,848 REALLY? YEAH, JUST BY LOOKING AT YOU. I'LL BET YOU PLAY 1780 01:02:21,872 --> 01:02:22,982 YEAH, JUST BY LOOKING AT YOU. I'LL BET YOU PLAY "OLD McDONALD" ON PUSH-BUTTON 1781 01:02:23,006 --> 01:02:23,750 I'LL BET YOU PLAY "OLD McDONALD" ON PUSH-BUTTON PHONES, TOO, RIGHT? 1782 01:02:23,774 --> 01:02:26,319 "OLD McDONALD" ON PUSH-BUTTON PHONES, TOO, RIGHT? RIGHT. 1783 01:02:26,343 --> 01:02:27,486 PHONES, TOO, RIGHT? RIGHT. YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY. 1784 01:02:27,510 --> 01:02:28,922 RIGHT. YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY. WE'VE ONLY BEEN TOGETHER HERE, 1785 01:02:28,946 --> 01:02:30,323 YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY. WE'VE ONLY BEEN TOGETHER HERE, LIKE, TEN MINUTES, AND ALREADY 1786 01:02:30,347 --> 01:02:32,258 WE'VE ONLY BEEN TOGETHER HERE, LIKE, TEN MINUTES, AND ALREADY WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. 1787 01:02:32,282 --> 01:02:33,526 LIKE, TEN MINUTES, AND ALREADY WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. I KNOW. 1788 01:02:33,550 --> 01:02:34,594 WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. I KNOW. IT'S REALLY AMAZING. 1789 01:02:34,618 --> 01:02:35,962 I KNOW. IT'S REALLY AMAZING. I MEAN, LIKE, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR 1790 01:02:35,986 --> 01:02:36,495 IT'S REALLY AMAZING. I MEAN, LIKE, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? 1791 01:02:36,519 --> 01:02:38,231 I MEAN, LIKE, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? OH, I CALIBRATE THE PRESSURE 1792 01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:39,699 A LIVING? OH, I CALIBRATE THE PRESSURE RATIOS FOR HYDRAULIC VALVE 1793 01:02:39,723 --> 01:02:41,534 OH, I CALIBRATE THE PRESSURE RATIOS FOR HYDRAULIC VALVE SYSTEMS. 1794 01:02:41,558 --> 01:02:44,237 RATIOS FOR HYDRAULIC VALVE SYSTEMS. SO DO I! 1795 01:02:44,261 --> 01:02:44,704 SYSTEMS. SO DO I! OH! 1796 01:02:44,728 --> 01:02:46,672 SO DO I! OH! WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THAT? 1797 01:02:46,696 --> 01:02:48,208 OH! WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THAT? WELL, I FOLDED THE LITTLE, 1798 01:02:48,232 --> 01:02:49,776 WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THAT? WELL, I FOLDED THE LITTLE, CLEAR, PLASTIC INDEX TABS THAT 1799 01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:51,077 WELL, I FOLDED THE LITTLE, CLEAR, PLASTIC INDEX TABS THAT SEPARATE THE SECTIONS IN 1800 01:02:51,101 --> 01:02:51,745 CLEAR, PLASTIC INDEX TABS THAT SEPARATE THE SECTIONS IN NOTEBOOKS. 1801 01:02:51,769 --> 01:02:53,479 SEPARATE THE SECTIONS IN NOTEBOOKS. I DID, TOO! 1802 01:02:53,503 --> 01:02:54,714 NOTEBOOKS. I DID, TOO! OH, NO! 1803 01:02:54,738 --> 01:02:56,015 I DID, TOO! OH, NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! 1804 01:02:56,039 --> 01:02:57,016 OH, NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! Both: THIS IS INCREDIBLE! 1805 01:02:57,040 --> 01:02:57,583 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! Both: THIS IS INCREDIBLE! HEY, LISTEN. 1806 01:02:57,607 --> 01:02:59,119 Both: THIS IS INCREDIBLE! HEY, LISTEN. WHAT DOES YOUR TONGUE TASTE LIKE 1807 01:02:59,143 --> 01:03:00,854 HEY, LISTEN. WHAT DOES YOUR TONGUE TASTE LIKE TO YOU? 1808 01:03:00,878 --> 01:03:02,188 WHAT DOES YOUR TONGUE TASTE LIKE TO YOU? UM... NOTHING. 1809 01:03:02,212 --> 01:03:03,589 TO YOU? UM... NOTHING. IT HAS NO FLAVOR. 1810 01:03:03,613 --> 01:03:04,490 UM... NOTHING. IT HAS NO FLAVOR. REALLY?! 1811 01:03:04,514 --> 01:03:06,993 IT HAS NO FLAVOR. REALLY?! NEITHER DOES MINE! 1812 01:03:07,017 --> 01:03:08,828 REALLY?! NEITHER DOES MINE! OH! 1813 01:03:08,852 --> 01:03:10,563 NEITHER DOES MINE! OH! WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE LOUD NOISE? 1814 01:03:10,587 --> 01:03:11,631 OH! WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE LOUD NOISE? OH, I-I DON'T KNOW. 1815 01:03:11,655 --> 01:03:12,598 WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE LOUD NOISE? OH, I-I DON'T KNOW. I LIKE ALL OF THEM. 1816 01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:13,666 OH, I-I DON'T KNOW. I LIKE ALL OF THEM. AH, YOU MUST HAVE A SPECIAL 1817 01:03:13,690 --> 01:03:14,134 I LIKE ALL OF THEM. AH, YOU MUST HAVE A SPECIAL FAVORITE. 1818 01:03:14,158 --> 01:03:15,268 AH, YOU MUST HAVE A SPECIAL FAVORITE. NO, I DON'T HAVE A FAVORITE. 1819 01:03:15,292 --> 01:03:16,169 FAVORITE. NO, I DON'T HAVE A FAVORITE. I LIKE THEM ALL EQUALLY... 1820 01:03:16,193 --> 01:03:16,602 NO, I DON'T HAVE A FAVORITE. I LIKE THEM ALL EQUALLY... WELL... 1821 01:03:16,626 --> 01:03:17,937 I LIKE THEM ALL EQUALLY... WELL... WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU TURN ON 1822 01:03:17,961 --> 01:03:19,072 WELL... WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU TURN ON THE BATHTUB WATER, AND IT 1823 01:03:19,096 --> 01:03:20,473 WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU TURN ON THE BATHTUB WATER, AND IT DOESN'T COME OUT RIGHT AWAY, AND 1824 01:03:20,497 --> 01:03:21,808 THE BATHTUB WATER, AND IT DOESN'T COME OUT RIGHT AWAY, AND THEN SUDDENLY IT JUST ALL COMES 1825 01:03:21,832 --> 01:03:22,175 DOESN'T COME OUT RIGHT AWAY, AND THEN SUDDENLY IT JUST ALL COMES OUT? 1826 01:03:22,199 --> 01:03:24,978 THEN SUDDENLY IT JUST ALL COMES OUT? I LOVE THAT! 1827 01:03:25,002 --> 01:03:26,579 OUT? I LOVE THAT! OH, WHAT ABOUT WHEN IT'S SUMMER, 1828 01:03:26,603 --> 01:03:28,181 I LOVE THAT! OH, WHAT ABOUT WHEN IT'S SUMMER, AND YOU'RE SITTING ON A LEATHER 1829 01:03:28,205 --> 01:03:29,783 OH, WHAT ABOUT WHEN IT'S SUMMER, AND YOU'RE SITTING ON A LEATHER SOFA, AND YOU'RE WEARING SHORTS 1830 01:03:29,807 --> 01:03:31,251 AND YOU'RE SITTING ON A LEATHER SOFA, AND YOU'RE WEARING SHORTS AND YOU'RE SWEATING, AND YOU 1831 01:03:31,275 --> 01:03:32,819 SOFA, AND YOU'RE WEARING SHORTS AND YOU'RE SWEATING, AND YOU HAVE TO STAND UP REAL QUICKLY? 1832 01:03:32,843 --> 01:03:35,021 AND YOU'RE SWEATING, AND YOU HAVE TO STAND UP REAL QUICKLY? THAT'S MY FAVORITE PAIN! 1833 01:03:35,045 --> 01:03:36,956 HAVE TO STAND UP REAL QUICKLY? THAT'S MY FAVORITE PAIN! YOU SAID MY EXACT FAVORITE! 1834 01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:37,991 THAT'S MY FAVORITE PAIN! YOU SAID MY EXACT FAVORITE! THAT'S MY FAVORITE! 1835 01:03:38,015 --> 01:03:39,959 YOU SAID MY EXACT FAVORITE! THAT'S MY FAVORITE! LISTEN. 1836 01:03:39,983 --> 01:03:41,227 THAT'S MY FAVORITE! LISTEN. DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN 1837 01:03:41,251 --> 01:03:42,695 LISTEN. DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN YOU'RE SITTING IN YOUR ROOM, AND 1838 01:03:42,719 --> 01:03:43,930 DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN YOU'RE SITTING IN YOUR ROOM, AND YOU HEAR SCREAMS AND SHOUTS 1839 01:03:43,954 --> 01:03:45,398 YOU'RE SITTING IN YOUR ROOM, AND YOU HEAR SCREAMS AND SHOUTS OUTSIDE, 'CAUSE SOMEONE GOT HIT 1840 01:03:45,422 --> 01:03:46,032 YOU HEAR SCREAMS AND SHOUTS OUTSIDE, 'CAUSE SOMEONE GOT HIT BY A TRUCK? 1841 01:03:46,056 --> 01:03:47,633 OUTSIDE, 'CAUSE SOMEONE GOT HIT BY A TRUCK? YEAH! YEAH! 1842 01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:50,904 BY A TRUCK? YEAH! YEAH! WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE LAND MASS? 1843 01:03:50,928 --> 01:03:52,505 YEAH! YEAH! WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE LAND MASS? THE DALMATIAN ISLANDS, JUST 1844 01:03:52,529 --> 01:03:54,040 WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE LAND MASS? THE DALMATIAN ISLANDS, JUST OFF THE COAST OF YUGOSLAVIA. 1845 01:03:54,064 --> 01:03:55,374 THE DALMATIAN ISLANDS, JUST OFF THE COAST OF YUGOSLAVIA. THE SOUTHERN ONE? 1846 01:03:55,398 --> 01:03:56,943 OFF THE COAST OF YUGOSLAVIA. THE SOUTHERN ONE? A LITTLE FURTHER INLAND? 1847 01:03:56,967 --> 01:03:58,544 THE SOUTHERN ONE? A LITTLE FURTHER INLAND? Both: JUST ABOVE THE 30th 1848 01:03:58,568 --> 01:04:04,217 A LITTLE FURTHER INLAND? Both: JUST ABOVE THE 30th PARALLEL! 1849 01:04:04,241 --> 01:04:06,986 Both: JUST ABOVE THE 30th PARALLEL! I LIKE YOUR NOSE. 1850 01:04:07,010 --> 01:04:07,687 PARALLEL! I LIKE YOUR NOSE. AH. 1851 01:04:07,711 --> 01:04:09,522 I LIKE YOUR NOSE. AH. YOU'RE SO HEALTHY-LOOKING. 1852 01:04:09,546 --> 01:04:11,024 AH. YOU'RE SO HEALTHY-LOOKING. YOU'RE REAL NATURAL. 1853 01:04:11,048 --> 01:04:13,827 YOU'RE SO HEALTHY-LOOKING. YOU'RE REAL NATURAL. WELL, I TRY TO EAT RIGHT, AND 1854 01:04:13,851 --> 01:04:15,028 YOU'RE REAL NATURAL. WELL, I TRY TO EAT RIGHT, AND I EXERCISE. 1855 01:04:15,052 --> 01:04:17,596 WELL, I TRY TO EAT RIGHT, AND I EXERCISE. AND I NEVER OPEN A SAFETY PIN 1856 01:04:17,620 --> 01:04:18,731 I EXERCISE. AND I NEVER OPEN A SAFETY PIN AND PUNCH IT INTO MY FACE ALL 1857 01:04:18,755 --> 01:04:21,634 AND I NEVER OPEN A SAFETY PIN AND PUNCH IT INTO MY FACE ALL OVER. 1858 01:04:21,658 --> 01:04:25,771 AND PUNCH IT INTO MY FACE ALL OVER. THAT'S GOOD, REAL GOOD. 1859 01:04:25,795 --> 01:04:27,773 OVER. THAT'S GOOD, REAL GOOD. LOOK, UH, DON'T YOU JUST HATE 1860 01:04:27,797 --> 01:04:29,575 THAT'S GOOD, REAL GOOD. LOOK, UH, DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN SOMEBODY DIES IN THE 1861 01:04:29,599 --> 01:04:31,444 LOOK, UH, DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN SOMEBODY DIES IN THE APARTMENT NEXT DOOR TO YOURS, 1862 01:04:31,468 --> 01:04:33,346 IT WHEN SOMEBODY DIES IN THE APARTMENT NEXT DOOR TO YOURS, AND THEY DON'T FIND THEM FOR A 1863 01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:35,281 APARTMENT NEXT DOOR TO YOURS, AND THEY DON'T FIND THEM FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS, AND WHEN THEY 1864 01:04:35,305 --> 01:04:37,283 AND THEY DON'T FIND THEM FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS, AND WHEN THEY DO, THEIR PET PARROT ATE HALF OF 1865 01:04:37,307 --> 01:04:39,252 COUPLE OF WEEKS, AND WHEN THEY DO, THEIR PET PARROT ATE HALF OF THEM? 1866 01:04:39,276 --> 01:04:43,156 DO, THEIR PET PARROT ATE HALF OF THEM? YES. 1867 01:04:43,180 --> 01:04:45,225 THEM? YES. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE TO 1868 01:04:45,249 --> 01:04:46,292 YES. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO RIGHT NOW? 1869 01:04:46,316 --> 01:04:47,060 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO RIGHT NOW? WHAT? 1870 01:04:47,084 --> 01:04:48,361 DO RIGHT NOW? WHAT? HAVE YOU SEEN "A STAR IS 1871 01:04:48,385 --> 01:04:48,794 WHAT? HAVE YOU SEEN "A STAR IS BORN"? 1872 01:04:48,818 --> 01:04:49,896 HAVE YOU SEEN "A STAR IS BORN"? YES! 1873 01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:51,464 BORN"? YES! WELL, LET'S GO STAND IN LINE, 1874 01:04:51,488 --> 01:04:53,066 YES! WELL, LET'S GO STAND IN LINE, AND WHEN IT GETS TO BE OUR TURN, 1875 01:04:53,090 --> 01:04:54,633 WELL, LET'S GO STAND IN LINE, AND WHEN IT GETS TO BE OUR TURN, WE'LL GO BACK AND GET AT THE END 1876 01:04:54,657 --> 01:04:55,801 AND WHEN IT GETS TO BE OUR TURN, WE'LL GO BACK AND GET AT THE END OF THE LINE AGAIN! 1877 01:04:55,825 --> 01:04:57,403 WE'LL GO BACK AND GET AT THE END OF THE LINE AGAIN! OH, I'D LOVE THAT! 1878 01:04:57,427 --> 01:05:01,875 OF THE LINE AGAIN! OH, I'D LOVE THAT! LET'S GO! 1879 01:05:01,899 --> 01:05:03,309 OH, I'D LOVE THAT! LET'S GO! YOU LIKE TO HOP?! 1880 01:05:03,333 --> 01:05:04,210 LET'S GO! YOU LIKE TO HOP?! OH, EVERYWHERE! 1881 01:05:04,234 --> 01:05:06,667 YOU LIKE TO HOP?! OH, EVERYWHERE! OH! 1882 01:05:11,307 --> 01:05:14,009 [BAND PLAYS] 1883 01:05:14,143 --> 01:05:17,512 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1884 01:05:19,348 --> 01:05:23,363 WANT TO THANK MY SPECIAL GUEST, LILY TOMLIN. THANK YOU. 1885 01:05:23,387 --> 01:05:24,697 GUEST, LILY TOMLIN. THANK YOU. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1886 01:05:24,721 --> 01:05:26,933 THANK YOU. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND THE KINKS. 1887 01:05:26,957 --> 01:05:28,167 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND THE KINKS. SEE YOU IN MINNEAPOLIS TOMORROW 1888 01:05:28,191 --> 01:05:29,936 AND THE KINKS. SEE YOU IN MINNEAPOLIS TOMORROW NIGHT! 1889 01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:31,437 SEE YOU IN MINNEAPOLIS TOMORROW NIGHT! NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME 1890 01:05:31,461 --> 01:05:34,462 NIGHT! NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS. 1891 01:05:52,781 --> 01:05:54,249 Announcer: NEXT WEEK, WATCH 1892 01:05:54,383 --> 01:05:55,383 NBC's "WEEKEND" WITH 1893 01:05:55,517 --> 01:05:56,251 LLOYD DOBBINS. 1894 01:05:56,385 --> 01:05:57,885 "SATURDAY NIGHT" WILL RETURN IN 1895 01:05:58,020 --> 01:05:59,454 TWO WEEKS ON MARCH 12th, WHEN 1896 01:05:59,588 --> 01:06:01,889 OUR HOST WILL BE SISSY SPACEK, 1897 01:06:02,024 --> 01:06:02,824 WITH MUSICAL GUEST 1898 01:06:02,959 --> 01:06:03,658 RICHARD BASKIN. 1899 01:06:03,792 --> 01:06:05,193 YOUR ANNOUNCER HAS BEEN 1900 01:06:05,328 --> 01:06:06,594 DONALD PARDO. 1901 01:06:06,728 --> 01:06:07,495 [SINGING TO "MICKEY MOUSE" CLUB 1902 01:06:07,629 --> 01:06:07,895 [TUNE] 1903 01:06:08,030 --> 01:06:13,134 ♪ D-O-N-A-L-D P-A-R-D-O ♪ 1904 01:06:13,269 --> 01:06:15,770 GOOD NIGHT! 208989