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All language subtitles for SNL S01E07 Richard Pryor.DVDRip.HI.RLP.cc.en.UNVSL

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:07,550 AND SO THAT IS WHY I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT YOU. WAITER? 2 00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:08,185 STRONGLY ABOUT YOU. WAITER? HOLD IT. 3 00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,453 WAITER? HOLD IT. GARRETT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 4 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:10,387 HOLD IT. GARRETT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LOOK, MAN, LOOK. 5 00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:11,388 GARRETT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LOOK, MAN, LOOK. RICHARD PRYOR SAID... 6 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,655 LOOK, MAN, LOOK. RICHARD PRYOR SAID... GARRETT, WE'RE ON THE AIR 7 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,023 RICHARD PRYOR SAID... GARRETT, WE'RE ON THE AIR NOW. 8 00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:14,291 GARRETT, WE'RE ON THE AIR NOW. YEAH, I KNOW, MAN, BUT... 9 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:15,258 NOW. YEAH, I KNOW, MAN, BUT... THIS IS THE OPENING. 10 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:15,758 YEAH, I KNOW, MAN, BUT... THIS IS THE OPENING. I KNOW. 11 00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:16,926 THIS IS THE OPENING. I KNOW. RICHARD PRYOR'S HERE TONIGHT, 12 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,161 I KNOW. RICHARD PRYOR'S HERE TONIGHT, AND I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD OPEN 13 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,363 RICHARD PRYOR'S HERE TONIGHT, AND I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD OPEN THE SHOW, I MEAN, DO THE FALL. 14 00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:20,130 AND I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD OPEN THE SHOW, I MEAN, DO THE FALL. WAIT A MINUTE. 15 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,198 THE SHOW, I MEAN, DO THE FALL. WAIT A MINUTE. I ALWAYS OPEN THE SHOW. 16 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:22,065 WAIT A MINUTE. I ALWAYS OPEN THE SHOW. IS IT UNDERSTOOD? 17 00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,266 I ALWAYS OPEN THE SHOW. IS IT UNDERSTOOD? YEAH, YEAH, HEY, LOOK... 18 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,134 IS IT UNDERSTOOD? YEAH, YEAH, HEY, LOOK... I DO THE FALL. 19 00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:25,502 YEAH, YEAH, HEY, LOOK... I DO THE FALL. AND I SAY, "LIVE FROM NEW YORK, 20 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:26,603 I DO THE FALL. AND I SAY, "LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT.'" 21 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:27,471 AND I SAY, "LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT.'" IT'S MY TRADEMARK. 22 00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,206 IT'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT.'" IT'S MY TRADEMARK. CHEVY, RICHARD TOLD ME TO 23 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:30,207 IT'S MY TRADEMARK. CHEVY, RICHARD TOLD ME TO OPEN THE SHOW. 24 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,908 CHEVY, RICHARD TOLD ME TO OPEN THE SHOW. IT'S NOT RICHARD'S SHOW. 25 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,776 OPEN THE SHOW. IT'S NOT RICHARD'S SHOW. RICHARD'S JUST THE GUEST HOST. 26 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,612 IT'S NOT RICHARD'S SHOW. RICHARD'S JUST THE GUEST HOST. HEY, MAN, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. 27 00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:38,115 RICHARD'S JUST THE GUEST HOST. HEY, MAN, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. [MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY] 28 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:39,182 HEY, MAN, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. [MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY] [CHUCKLES] 29 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,352 [MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY] [CHUCKLES] RICHARD AND WHAT ARMY, FELLA? 30 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,054 [CHUCKLES] RICHARD AND WHAT ARMY, FELLA? HEY, MAN, LOOK. 31 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:47,657 RICHARD AND WHAT ARMY, FELLA? HEY, MAN, LOOK. [MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY] 32 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:48,558 HEY, MAN, LOOK. [MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY] THAT ARMY. 33 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:49,292 [MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY] THAT ARMY. UH-HUH. 34 00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,827 THAT ARMY. UH-HUH. ALL RIGHT, DO THE FALL. 35 00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:52,529 UH-HUH. ALL RIGHT, DO THE FALL. I'M GONNA DO THE FALL NOW. 36 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:56,599 ALL RIGHT, DO THE FALL. I'M GONNA DO THE FALL NOW. HEY, HEY, DIG THE FALL, MAN. 37 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,068 I'M GONNA DO THE FALL NOW. HEY, HEY, DIG THE FALL, MAN. SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW. 38 00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:00,337 HEY, HEY, DIG THE FALL, MAN. SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW. LIVE FROM NEW... 39 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,039 SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW. LIVE FROM NEW... GARRETT! 40 00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,340 LIVE FROM NEW... GARRETT! STAND UP A MINUTE. STAND UP. 41 00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:04,707 GARRETT! STAND UP A MINUTE. STAND UP. THE WHOLE POINT OF THE FALL IS 42 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,109 STAND UP A MINUTE. STAND UP. THE WHOLE POINT OF THE FALL IS TO LOOK LIKE YOU HURT YOURSELF. 43 00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,377 THE WHOLE POINT OF THE FALL IS TO LOOK LIKE YOU HURT YOURSELF. SO WHEN YOU SAY, "LIVE FROM 44 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,512 TO LOOK LIKE YOU HURT YOURSELF. SO WHEN YOU SAY, "LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 'SATURDAY 45 00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:09,913 SO WHEN YOU SAY, "LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT, '" IT LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST 46 00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,281 NEW YORK, IT'S 'SATURDAY NIGHT, '" IT LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST KILLED YOURSELF, AND THEY SAY, 47 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:12,215 NIGHT, '" IT LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST KILLED YOURSELF, AND THEY SAY, "WHAT A GREAT FALL. 48 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,650 KILLED YOURSELF, AND THEY SAY, "WHAT A GREAT FALL. THE GUY REALLY HURT HIMSELF, AND 49 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:14,684 "WHAT A GREAT FALL. THE GUY REALLY HURT HIMSELF, AND THEN HE'S ALL RIGHT." 50 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:15,685 THE GUY REALLY HURT HIMSELF, AND THEN HE'S ALL RIGHT." THAT'S THE POINT, OKAY? 51 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:16,619 THEN HE'S ALL RIGHT." THAT'S THE POINT, OKAY? LET ME TRY IT AGAIN. 52 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:17,787 THAT'S THE POINT, OKAY? LET ME TRY IT AGAIN. I'LL DO ONE FOR YOU, ALL 53 00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:18,188 LET ME TRY IT AGAIN. I'LL DO ONE FOR YOU, ALL RIGHT? 54 00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,256 I'LL DO ONE FOR YOU, ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT, YOU DO ONE. 55 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,290 RIGHT? ALL RIGHT, YOU DO ONE. AND I'LL DO THE LINE. 56 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,624 ALL RIGHT, YOU DO ONE. AND I'LL DO THE LINE. WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME, MAN. 57 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:22,225 AND I'LL DO THE LINE. WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME, MAN. HURRY UP. 58 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,226 WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME, MAN. HURRY UP. ONCE, ALL RIGHT? 59 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,161 HURRY UP. ONCE, ALL RIGHT? HURRY UP, MAN. 60 00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,662 ONCE, ALL RIGHT? HURRY UP, MAN. I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND HOW 61 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:26,596 HURRY UP, MAN. I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND HOW THIS IS DONE. 62 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,265 I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND HOW THIS IS DONE. DANNY, YOU WANT TO START IT? 63 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:29,966 THIS IS DONE. DANNY, YOU WANT TO START IT? AND THAT IS WHY I FEEL SO 64 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,201 DANNY, YOU WANT TO START IT? AND THAT IS WHY I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT YOU. 65 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,385 AND THAT IS WHY I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT YOU. WAITER? 66 00:01:42,668 --> 00:01:49,508 LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! [BAND PLAYS] 67 00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:09,495 Announcer: STARRING... WITH... 68 00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:36,855 THE NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS... 69 00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:50,702 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, RICHARD PRYOR! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 70 00:03:10,556 --> 00:03:17,006 HOW YOU DOING? THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING HERE TO NEW YORK. 71 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,475 THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING HERE TO NEW YORK. UH, HOPE I'M FUNNY. 72 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:20,610 HERE TO NEW YORK. UH, HOPE I'M FUNNY. I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS SHOW 73 00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,879 UH, HOPE I'M FUNNY. I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS SHOW TO MILES DAVIS, MY FRIEND, WHO'S 74 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,547 I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS SHOW TO MILES DAVIS, MY FRIEND, WHO'S IN THE HOSPITAL, SICK. 75 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:25,314 TO MILES DAVIS, MY FRIEND, WHO'S IN THE HOSPITAL, SICK. BUT HE'S COOL. 76 00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:26,783 IN THE HOSPITAL, SICK. BUT HE'S COOL. MILES ALWAYS GETS WOMEN, THOUGH, 77 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:27,950 BUT HE'S COOL. MILES ALWAYS GETS WOMEN, THOUGH, 'CAUSE HE TALKS SO COOL. 78 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:28,985 MILES ALWAYS GETS WOMEN, THOUGH, 'CAUSE HE TALKS SO COOL. YOU KNOW, MILES BE... 79 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,219 'CAUSE HE TALKS SO COOL. YOU KNOW, MILES BE... [Scratchy voice] "WHAT'S 80 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:31,053 YOU KNOW, MILES BE... [Scratchy voice] "WHAT'S HAPPENING?" 81 00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:32,789 [Scratchy voice] "WHAT'S HAPPENING?" [Normal voice] I GET WOMEN, 82 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:33,256 HAPPENING?" [Normal voice] I GET WOMEN, TOO. 83 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,957 [Normal voice] I GET WOMEN, TOO. I CAN'T KEEP THEM, BUT I GET 84 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:35,458 TOO. I CAN'T KEEP THEM, BUT I GET THEM. 85 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:37,093 I CAN'T KEEP THEM, BUT I GET THEM. AND WOMEN ALWAYS LEAVE ME, MAN. 86 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,695 THEM. AND WOMEN ALWAYS LEAVE ME, MAN. I DON'T MIND THEM LEAVING, BUT 87 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:39,763 AND WOMEN ALWAYS LEAVE ME, MAN. I DON'T MIND THEM LEAVING, BUT THEY TELL YOU WHY. 88 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,497 I DON'T MIND THEM LEAVING, BUT THEY TELL YOU WHY. [LAUGHTER] 89 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:41,664 THEY TELL YOU WHY. [LAUGHTER] YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 90 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:43,199 [LAUGHTER] YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? JUST LEAVE. DON'T TELL ME WHY. 91 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,734 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? JUST LEAVE. DON'T TELL ME WHY. 'CAUSE THERE AIN'T NOTHING YOU 92 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,302 JUST LEAVE. DON'T TELL ME WHY. 'CAUSE THERE AIN'T NOTHING YOU CAN DO BUT STAND THERE AND LOOK 93 00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,103 'CAUSE THERE AIN'T NOTHING YOU CAN DO BUT STAND THERE AND LOOK SILLY, RIGHT? 94 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:54,210 CAN DO BUT STAND THERE AND LOOK SILLY, RIGHT? YOU BE... 95 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,879 SILLY, RIGHT? YOU BE... AND THE MADDER YOU GET, WOMEN 96 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,447 YOU BE... AND THE MADDER YOU GET, WOMEN GET COOL WHEN YOU GET MAD. 97 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,215 AND THE MADDER YOU GET, WOMEN GET COOL WHEN YOU GET MAD. "WELL, GO ON AND GET OUT THEN!" 98 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,383 GET COOL WHEN YOU GET MAD. "WELL, GO ON AND GET OUT THEN!" "I'M LEAVING." 99 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,485 "WELL, GO ON AND GET OUT THEN!" "I'M LEAVING." "I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU 100 00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:03,653 "I'M LEAVING." "I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" 101 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:07,023 "I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" "DON'T WORRY, YOU SHAN'T." 102 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:08,425 AGAIN!" "DON'T WORRY, YOU SHAN'T." DRIVE YOU TO DRINK, JACK, YOU 103 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:08,858 "DON'T WORRY, YOU SHAN'T." DRIVE YOU TO DRINK, JACK, YOU KNOW? 104 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,293 DRIVE YOU TO DRINK, JACK, YOU KNOW? I TRIED DRINKING FOR A WHILE, 105 00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:11,728 KNOW? I TRIED DRINKING FOR A WHILE, BUT I USED TO GO INTO BARS AND 106 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,195 I TRIED DRINKING FOR A WHILE, BUT I USED TO GO INTO BARS AND CHECK OUT THE PEOPLE THAT WERE 107 00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:14,497 BUT I USED TO GO INTO BARS AND CHECK OUT THE PEOPLE THAT WERE DRINKING, AND THEY WEREN'T 108 00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:15,865 CHECK OUT THE PEOPLE THAT WERE DRINKING, AND THEY WEREN'T HAPPY AND THEY GET BEAT UP A 109 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:16,833 DRINKING, AND THEY WEREN'T HAPPY AND THEY GET BEAT UP A LOT. 110 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,367 HAPPY AND THEY GET BEAT UP A LOT. NO, DRUNKS, THEY START OUT COOL. 111 00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:19,903 LOT. NO, DRUNKS, THEY START OUT COOL. BROTHER BE COOL AT FIRST, AND HE 112 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,270 NO, DRUNKS, THEY START OUT COOL. BROTHER BE COOL AT FIRST, AND HE GOING, "GIVE ME A SCOTCH AND 113 00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:22,539 BROTHER BE COOL AT FIRST, AND HE GOING, "GIVE ME A SCOTCH AND SODA, PLEASE," REAL COOL. 114 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:23,606 GOING, "GIVE ME A SCOTCH AND SODA, PLEASE," REAL COOL. ABOUT A HOUR LATER... 115 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,141 SODA, PLEASE," REAL COOL. ABOUT A HOUR LATER... [Slurring] "WHAT?! 116 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,410 ABOUT A HOUR LATER... [Slurring] "WHAT?! WHAT YOU MEAN I'M DRUNK? 117 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,144 [Slurring] "WHAT?! WHAT YOU MEAN I'M DRUNK? HUH? 118 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:30,814 WHAT YOU MEAN I'M DRUNK? HUH? I WASN'T DRUNK WHEN I CAME IN 119 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:31,514 HUH? I WASN'T DRUNK WHEN I CAME IN HERE. 120 00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:34,116 I WASN'T DRUNK WHEN I CAME IN HERE. AND I AIN'T GONNA LEAVE TILL I'M 121 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,184 HERE. AND I AIN'T GONNA LEAVE TILL I'M SOBER. 122 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:38,421 AND I AIN'T GONNA LEAVE TILL I'M SOBER. NOW, YOU CAN DIG THAT, BABY. 123 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,889 SOBER. NOW, YOU CAN DIG THAT, BABY. BARTENDER! 124 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,559 NOW, YOU CAN DIG THAT, BABY. BARTENDER! ARE YOU THE BARTENDER? 125 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,527 BARTENDER! ARE YOU THE BARTENDER? GIVE EVERYBODY IN HERE 126 00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:45,595 ARE YOU THE BARTENDER? GIVE EVERYBODY IN HERE SOMETHING. 127 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,531 GIVE EVERYBODY IN HERE SOMETHING. GIVE THEM A BEER AND 20 STRAWS. 128 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,800 SOMETHING. GIVE THEM A BEER AND 20 STRAWS. HA HA! 129 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,057 GIVE THEM A BEER AND 20 STRAWS. HA HA! WHOOOO! 130 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:03,012 HEY! HUH? WHAT YOU LOOKING AT, BITCH? WHAT? 131 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,548 WHAT YOU LOOKING AT, BITCH? WHAT? NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TIME IT 132 00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:06,148 WHAT? NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS. 133 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:07,884 NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS. IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO STOP 134 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,118 IS. IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO STOP MESSING WITH ME. 135 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,687 IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO STOP MESSING WITH ME. THAT'S WHAT TIME IT IS. 136 00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,555 MESSING WITH ME. THAT'S WHAT TIME IT IS. I KNOW I'M UGLY, BUT I DON'T 137 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:17,527 THAT'S WHAT TIME IT IS. I KNOW I'M UGLY, BUT I DON'T LOOK LIKE NO CLOCK. 138 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,795 I KNOW I'M UGLY, BUT I DON'T LOOK LIKE NO CLOCK. THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. 139 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:19,328 LOOK LIKE NO CLOCK. THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. WHAT? 140 00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:21,030 THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT? 141 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,298 WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT? YOU THE BARTENDER. 142 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,333 WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT? YOU THE BARTENDER. IF I SAY SOMETHING TO THIS PIECE 143 00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:26,903 YOU THE BARTENDER. IF I SAY SOMETHING TO THIS PIECE OF WOOD, THEN YOU SAY SOMETHING. 144 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,905 IF I SAY SOMETHING TO THIS PIECE OF WOOD, THEN YOU SAY SOMETHING. OTHERWISE, YOU CAN FREEZE ON 145 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,239 OF WOOD, THEN YOU SAY SOMETHING. OTHERWISE, YOU CAN FREEZE ON YOUR THING, BABY. 146 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,308 OTHERWISE, YOU CAN FREEZE ON YOUR THING, BABY. YOU KNOW 'CAUSE I'LL BUST YOU 147 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,442 YOUR THING, BABY. YOU KNOW 'CAUSE I'LL BUST YOU APART. 148 00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,478 YOU KNOW 'CAUSE I'LL BUST YOU APART. HA HA! 149 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,914 APART. HA HA! WHOOO! 150 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,016 HA HA! WHOOO! WHAT YOU WANT, BIG OL' DUDE? 151 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,417 WHOOO! WHAT YOU WANT, BIG OL' DUDE? APOLOGIZE TO WHO? 152 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:42,318 WHAT YOU WANT, BIG OL' DUDE? APOLOGIZE TO WHO? FOR WHAT? 153 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:46,723 APOLOGIZE TO WHO? FOR WHAT? I DON'T CARE IF SHE YOUR MA... 154 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:47,857 FOR WHAT? I DON'T CARE IF SHE YOUR MA... HEY, MAN! 155 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,826 I DON'T CARE IF SHE YOUR MA... HEY, MAN! WAIT A MINUTE, MAN! 156 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,494 HEY, MAN! WAIT A MINUTE, MAN! I'M JUST KIDDING, MAN, WHAT YOU 157 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,028 WAIT A MINUTE, MAN! I'M JUST KIDDING, MAN, WHAT YOU DOING? 158 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,663 I'M JUST KIDDING, MAN, WHAT YOU DOING? YOU DONE KICKED ME IN THE ASS, 159 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,165 DOING? YOU DONE KICKED ME IN THE ASS, BABY! 160 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,501 YOU DONE KICKED ME IN THE ASS, BABY! YOU IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE NOW! 161 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,069 BABY! YOU IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE NOW! NO, DON'T HOLD HIM. 162 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,538 YOU IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE NOW! NO, DON'T HOLD HIM. LET HIM GO, BABY. 163 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:05,975 NO, DON'T HOLD HIM. LET HIM GO, BABY. COME ON, YOU WANT SOME OF ME? 164 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,243 LET HIM GO, BABY. COME ON, YOU WANT SOME OF ME? WAIT A MINUTE, MAN. 165 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:09,445 COME ON, YOU WANT SOME OF ME? WAIT A MINUTE, MAN. I'M ONLY KIDDING, YOU KNOW." 166 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:12,148 WAIT A MINUTE, MAN. I'M ONLY KIDDING, YOU KNOW." [Imitates vomiting] 167 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,892 I'M ONLY KIDDING, YOU KNOW." [Imitates vomiting] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 168 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:27,063 THAT'S WHY... THAT'S WHY I DON'T DRINK SO MUCH... 169 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,330 THAT'S WHY I DON'T DRINK SO MUCH... OR TAKE ACID, EITHER. 170 00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:29,666 MUCH... OR TAKE ACID, EITHER. WHITE DUDES TAKE ACID. 171 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,299 OR TAKE ACID, EITHER. WHITE DUDES TAKE ACID. THEY DO. 172 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,768 WHITE DUDES TAKE ACID. THEY DO. THEY TAKE ACID AND GO SEE 173 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,571 THEY DO. THEY TAKE ACID AND GO SEE "THE EXORCIST." 174 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:35,371 THEY TAKE ACID AND GO SEE "THE EXORCIST." THEY'RE CRAZY. 175 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,806 "THE EXORCIST." THEY'RE CRAZY. WHITE DUDE GAVE ME SOME ACID 176 00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,174 THEY'RE CRAZY. WHITE DUDE GAVE ME SOME ACID ONCE AT A PARTY, TOO, JACK. 177 00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,776 WHITE DUDE GAVE ME SOME ACID ONCE AT A PARTY, TOO, JACK. AND I THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY BEFORE 178 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:40,409 ONCE AT A PARTY, TOO, JACK. AND I THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY BEFORE I TOOK IT. 179 00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:43,179 AND I THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY BEFORE I TOOK IT. IT SANED ME RIGHT UP. 180 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,748 I TOOK IT. IT SANED ME RIGHT UP. DUDE SAY, "THIS IS FAR OUT." 181 00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:46,783 IT SANED ME RIGHT UP. DUDE SAY, "THIS IS FAR OUT." I SAID, "WHAT?" 182 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,819 DUDE SAY, "THIS IS FAR OUT." I SAID, "WHAT?" HE SAYS, "IT'S FAR OUT." 183 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,721 I SAID, "WHAT?" HE SAYS, "IT'S FAR OUT." I TOOK IT, JACK. 184 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,523 HE SAYS, "IT'S FAR OUT." I TOOK IT, JACK. "YOU'RE GONNA BE TRIPPING." 185 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,726 I TOOK IT, JACK. "YOU'RE GONNA BE TRIPPING." ABOUT 20 MINUTES LATER, I WAS AT 186 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,227 "YOU'RE GONNA BE TRIPPING." ABOUT 20 MINUTES LATER, I WAS AT THE PARTY, YOU KNOW. 187 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,296 ABOUT 20 MINUTES LATER, I WAS AT THE PARTY, YOU KNOW. "HEY, BLOOD, WHAT'S HAPPENING, 188 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:00,964 THE PARTY, YOU KNOW. "HEY, BLOOD, WHAT'S HAPPENING, HOMEY? 189 00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,198 "HEY, BLOOD, WHAT'S HAPPENING, HOMEY? ALL RIGHT, YEAH. 190 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:06,970 HOMEY? ALL RIGHT, YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 191 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:07,971 ALL RIGHT, YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? EVERYTHING IS COOL. 192 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,405 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? EVERYTHING IS COOL. WHITE DUDE GAVE ME SOME STUFF, 193 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,673 EVERYTHING IS COOL. WHITE DUDE GAVE ME SOME STUFF, TALKING ABOUT I'M GONNA BE 194 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:11,240 WHITE DUDE GAVE ME SOME STUFF, TALKING ABOUT I'M GONNA BE TRIPPING! 195 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,775 TALKING ABOUT I'M GONNA BE TRIPPING! YOU KNOW, I AIN'T GOING NO PLACE 196 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:16,479 TRIPPING! YOU KNOW, I AIN'T GOING NO PLACE WITHOUT MY LUGGAGE. 197 00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:20,750 YOU KNOW, I AIN'T GOING NO PLACE WITHOUT MY LUGGAGE. BELIEVE THAT." 198 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,707 WITHOUT MY LUGGAGE. BELIEVE THAT." [LAUGHTER] 199 00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:41,519 "LOOK AT THIS, MAN! I CAN CATCH MY HAND! WHAAAAAAAAAA-AWWWWWW-AAAAAHHHH- 200 00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:45,908 I CAN CATCH MY HAND! WHAAAAAAAAAA-AWWWWWW-AAAAAHHHH- OHHHHHH! 201 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:48,011 WHAAAAAAAAAA-AWWWWWW-AAAAAHHHH- OHHHHHH! UH-OH. 202 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,579 OHHHHHH! UH-OH. [Slowly] I'VE GOT TO GET OUT 203 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:57,053 UH-OH. [Slowly] I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. 204 00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:02,659 [Slowly] I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. WHAAAAAAAA! 205 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:06,262 OF HERE. WHAAAAAAAA! I DON'T REMEMBER HOW TO BREATHE! 206 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:09,632 WHAAAAAAAA! I DON'T REMEMBER HOW TO BREATHE! I CAN'T BREATHE! 207 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,968 I DON'T REMEMBER HOW TO BREATHE! I CAN'T BREATHE! 1, 2, 3. 208 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,970 I CAN'T BREATHE! 1, 2, 3. AIN'T NOTHING HAPPENING, MAN!" 209 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:17,406 1, 2, 3. AIN'T NOTHING HAPPENING, MAN!" "I TOLD YOU IT WAS FAR OUT!" 210 00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:18,507 AIN'T NOTHING HAPPENING, MAN!" "I TOLD YOU IT WAS FAR OUT!" "I'M GONNA DIE! 211 00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,242 "I TOLD YOU IT WAS FAR OUT!" "I'M GONNA DIE! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM. 212 00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:21,844 "I'M GONNA DIE! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM. I'M GONNA DIE! 213 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,612 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM. I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! 214 00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,214 I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! 215 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,082 I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! 216 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:26,849 I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA DIE! WHOA, YEAH! 217 00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:27,717 I'M GONNA DIE! WHOA, YEAH! I'M GONNA DIE! 218 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:28,484 WHOA, YEAH! I'M GONNA DIE! WHOA, YEAH! 219 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,351 I'M GONNA DIE! WHOA, YEAH! I'M GONNA DIE! 220 00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:30,019 WHOA, YEAH! I'M GONNA DIE! WHOA, YEAH! 221 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,688 I'M GONNA DIE! WHOA, YEAH! ♪ I'M GONNA DIE ♪ 222 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,389 WHOA, YEAH! ♪ I'M GONNA DIE ♪ ♪ I'M GONNA DIE-DIE-DIE-DIE ♪ 223 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,924 ♪ I'M GONNA DIE ♪ ♪ I'M GONNA DIE-DIE-DIE-DIE ♪ ♪ I'M GONNA DIE-DIE-DIE ♪ 224 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,793 ♪ I'M GONNA DIE-DIE-DIE-DIE ♪ ♪ I'M GONNA DIE-DIE-DIE ♪ ♪ I'M GONNA DIE-HI-DIE-DIE-DIE ♪ 225 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,561 ♪ I'M GONNA DIE-DIE-DIE ♪ ♪ I'M GONNA DIE-HI-DIE-DIE-DIE ♪ ♪ I'M GONNA DIE ♪ 226 00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,163 ♪ I'M GONNA DIE-HI-DIE-DIE-DIE ♪ ♪ I'M GONNA DIE ♪ [SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY] 227 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,131 ♪ I'M GONNA DIE ♪ [SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY] [Chanting] HEY, HEY, HO, HO, 228 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,300 [SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY] [Chanting] HEY, HEY, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO! 229 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,335 [Chanting] HEY, HEY, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO, HO! [Slowly] WHAT IN THE WORLD IS 230 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:50,073 HO, HO, HO, HO! [Slowly] WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HAPPENING TO ME?" 231 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,777 [Slowly] WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HAPPENING TO ME?" [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 232 00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:13,495 Announcer: AND NOW ANOTHER EDITION OF "SAMURAI HOTEL." [GONG BANGS] 233 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:15,832 EDITION OF "SAMURAI HOTEL." [GONG BANGS] [MUMBLING, SHOUTING 234 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,789 [GONG BANGS] [MUMBLING, SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 235 00:09:40,045 --> 00:09:43,325 EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME. I'D LIKE A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT, 236 00:09:43,349 --> 00:09:44,493 EXCUSE ME. I'D LIKE A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT, PLEASE. 237 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,630 I'D LIKE A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT, PLEASE. [Imitating Japanese] 238 00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,298 PLEASE. [Imitating Japanese] ACTUALLY, I'LL BE STAYING 239 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,100 [Imitating Japanese] ACTUALLY, I'LL BE STAYING THROUGH TILL PROBABLY TUESDAY. 240 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:59,041 ACTUALLY, I'LL BE STAYING THROUGH TILL PROBABLY TUESDAY. [Imitating Japanese] 241 00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,943 THROUGH TILL PROBABLY TUESDAY. [Imitating Japanese] DO YOU HAVE A KING-SIZE BED, 242 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:02,544 [Imitating Japanese] DO YOU HAVE A KING-SIZE BED, ONE WITH A KING-SIZE BED? 243 00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:06,415 DO YOU HAVE A KING-SIZE BED, ONE WITH A KING-SIZE BED? [Imitating Japanese] 244 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,051 ONE WITH A KING-SIZE BED? [Imitating Japanese] [CHUCKLES] 245 00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:13,756 [Imitating Japanese] [CHUCKLES] [Imitating Japanese] 246 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,457 [CHUCKLES] [Imitating Japanese] IF I COULD JUST PERHAPS GET A 247 00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:17,059 [Imitating Japanese] IF I COULD JUST PERHAPS GET A ROOM WITH, UH... YOU KNOW WHAT 248 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:17,693 IF I COULD JUST PERHAPS GET A ROOM WITH, UH... YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE? 249 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,095 ROOM WITH, UH... YOU KNOW WHAT I'D LIKE? A ROOM OVERLOOKING THE PARK. 250 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,496 I'D LIKE? A ROOM OVERLOOKING THE PARK. ARE THE RATES HIGH FOR THAT? 251 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,398 A ROOM OVERLOOKING THE PARK. ARE THE RATES HIGH FOR THAT? AAH! 252 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:27,036 ARE THE RATES HIGH FOR THAT? AAH! [Imitating Japanese] 253 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:33,042 AAH! [Imitating Japanese] AY! 254 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,111 [Imitating Japanese] AY! [WHIMPERING] 255 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,846 AY! [WHIMPERING] DO YOU HAVE ROOM SERVICE? 256 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:37,780 [WHIMPERING] DO YOU HAVE ROOM SERVICE? ROOM SERVICE. 257 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,381 DO YOU HAVE ROOM SERVICE? ROOM SERVICE. [Imitating Japanese] 258 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:40,416 ROOM SERVICE. [Imitating Japanese] THAT'S FINE. 259 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,919 [Imitating Japanese] THAT'S FINE. [Imitating Japanese] 260 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,353 THAT'S FINE. [Imitating Japanese] WHAT'S YOUR CHECK-OUT TIME? 261 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:47,417 [Imitating Japanese] WHAT'S YOUR CHECK-OUT TIME? [Imitating Japanese] 262 00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:10,228 AY! AY! COULD YOU GET A BELLBOY TO 263 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:12,781 AY! COULD YOU GET A BELLBOY TO GET MY BAGS, PLEASE, 264 00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:13,983 COULD YOU GET A BELLBOY TO GET MY BAGS, PLEASE, CARRY MY BAGS UP? 265 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:14,817 GET MY BAGS, PLEASE, CARRY MY BAGS UP? THANK YOU. 266 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,285 CARRY MY BAGS UP? THANK YOU. [Imitating Japanese] 267 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,186 THANK YOU. [Imitating Japanese] THANK YOU. 268 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:20,022 [Imitating Japanese] THANK YOU. [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 269 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,824 THANK YOU. [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] [Imitating Japanese] 270 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:22,859 [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] [Imitating Japanese] [Imitating Japanese] 271 00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:26,963 [Imitating Japanese] [Imitating Japanese] [Imitating Japanese] 272 00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:30,032 [Imitating Japanese] [Imitating Japanese] [Imitating Japanese] 273 00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:33,056 [Imitating Japanese] [Imitating Japanese] Both: [Imitating Japanese] 274 00:11:38,630 --> 00:11:42,144 FELLAS? WHICH ONE OF YOU IS GONNA CARRY MY BAGS UPSTAIRS? 275 00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:45,248 WHICH ONE OF YOU IS GONNA CARRY MY BAGS UPSTAIRS? Both: AAH! 276 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,272 MY BAGS UPSTAIRS? Both: AAH! [Imitating Japanese] 277 00:12:12,564 --> 00:12:20,564 AAH! [Imitating Japanese] YOUR MAMA-SAN! 278 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,555 [Imitating Japanese] YOUR MAMA-SAN! MY MAMA-SAN? 279 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:31,894 YOUR MAMA-SAN! MY MAMA-SAN? AAAAH! 280 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,362 MY MAMA-SAN? AAAAH! WELL, I CAN DIG WHERE YOU'RE 281 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:36,132 AAAAH! WELL, I CAN DIG WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM. 282 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,866 WELL, I CAN DIG WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM. I'LL TAKE THESE BAGS UP TO THE 283 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:38,968 COMING FROM. I'LL TAKE THESE BAGS UP TO THE ROOM. 284 00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,232 I'LL TAKE THESE BAGS UP TO THE ROOM. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 285 00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:50,179 HERE'S A MAN I WANTED ON THE SHOW AND HIS ORGANIZATION. HIS LATEST ALBUM, 286 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,881 SHOW AND HIS ORGANIZATION. HIS LATEST ALBUM, GIL SCOTT-HERON, AND HERE HE IS. 287 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,082 HIS LATEST ALBUM, GIL SCOTT-HERON, AND HERE HE IS. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 288 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,583 GIL SCOTT-HERON, AND HERE HE IS. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR. GIL SCOTT-HERON. 289 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:59,689 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR. GIL SCOTT-HERON. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 290 00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:01,157 MR. GIL SCOTT-HERON. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] WE'D LIKE TO DO A TUNE FOR 291 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,558 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] WE'D LIKE TO DO A TUNE FOR THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN 292 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:03,592 WE'D LIKE TO DO A TUNE FOR THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN SOUTH AFRICA CALLED 293 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,459 THE BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN SOUTH AFRICA CALLED "JOHANNESBURG." 294 00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:05,895 SOUTH AFRICA CALLED "JOHANNESBURG." AND WHEN WE SAY, "WHAT'S THE 295 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,396 "JOHANNESBURG." AND WHEN WE SAY, "WHAT'S THE WORD?" WE'D LIKE TO HAVE Y'ALL 296 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,430 AND WHEN WE SAY, "WHAT'S THE WORD?" WE'D LIKE TO HAVE Y'ALL HELP US OUT, SAYING 297 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,298 WORD?" WE'D LIKE TO HAVE Y'ALL HELP US OUT, SAYING "JOHANNESBURG." 298 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:10,299 HELP US OUT, SAYING "JOHANNESBURG." LET'S GO. 299 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,803 "JOHANNESBURG." LET'S GO. [PIANO PLAYS] 300 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:19,208 LET'S GO. [PIANO PLAYS] HA! 301 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,165 [PIANO PLAYS] HA! HELP! 302 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:37,208 ♪ I SAID, WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ TELL ME, BROTHER, HAVE YOU HEARD FROM JOHANNESBURG? ♪ 303 00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,164 ♪ TELL ME, BROTHER, HAVE YOU HEARD FROM JOHANNESBURG? ♪ ♪ THEY TELL ME THAT OUR BROTHERS 304 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:50,188 HEARD FROM JOHANNESBURG? ♪ ♪ THEY TELL ME THAT OUR BROTHERS OVER THERE ARE DEFYIN' THE MAN ♪ 305 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,174 ♪ THEY TELL ME THAT OUR BROTHERS OVER THERE ARE DEFYIN' THE MAN ♪ ♪ AND WE DON'T KNOW FOR SURE 306 00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:53,809 OVER THERE ARE DEFYIN' THE MAN ♪ ♪ AND WE DON'T KNOW FOR SURE BECAUSE THE NEWS WE GET IS 307 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:57,747 ♪ AND WE DON'T KNOW FOR SURE BECAUSE THE NEWS WE GET IS UNRELIABLE, MAN ♪ 308 00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:00,282 BECAUSE THE NEWS WE GET IS UNRELIABLE, MAN ♪ ♪ YES, I... I HATE IT WHEN THE 309 00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:03,052 UNRELIABLE, MAN ♪ ♪ YES, I... I HATE IT WHEN THE BLOOD STARTS FLOWIN' ♪ 310 00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:06,055 ♪ YES, I... I HATE IT WHEN THE BLOOD STARTS FLOWIN' ♪ ♪ BUT I'M GLAD TO SEE RESISTANCE 311 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,422 BLOOD STARTS FLOWIN' ♪ ♪ BUT I'M GLAD TO SEE RESISTANCE GROWIN' ♪ 312 00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:08,991 ♪ BUT I'M GLAD TO SEE RESISTANCE GROWIN' ♪ ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, WHAT'S THE 313 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,126 GROWIN' ♪ ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ 314 00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:11,360 ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ TELL ME, BROTHER, HAVE YOU 315 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:16,531 WORD? ♪ ♪ TELL ME, BROTHER, HAVE YOU HEARD FROM JOHANNESBURG? ♪ 316 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,734 ♪ TELL ME, BROTHER, HAVE YOU HEARD FROM JOHANNESBURG? ♪ MAN! 317 00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:20,535 HEARD FROM JOHANNESBURG? ♪ MAN! ♪ AND I KNOW THAT THEY'RE 318 00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:21,804 MAN! ♪ AND I KNOW THAT THEY'RE STRUGGLIN' OVER THERE ♪ 319 00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:26,608 ♪ AND I KNOW THAT THEY'RE STRUGGLIN' OVER THERE ♪ ♪ THAT AIN'T GONNA FREE ME ♪ 320 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,812 STRUGGLIN' OVER THERE ♪ ♪ THAT AIN'T GONNA FREE ME ♪ ♪ YEAH, BUT WE'VE ALL GOT TO BE 321 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,213 ♪ THAT AIN'T GONNA FREE ME ♪ ♪ YEAH, BUT WE'VE ALL GOT TO BE STRUGGLIN' ♪ 322 00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:33,682 ♪ YEAH, BUT WE'VE ALL GOT TO BE STRUGGLIN' ♪ ♪ IF WE WANT TO BE FREE ♪ 323 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:34,817 STRUGGLIN' ♪ ♪ IF WE WANT TO BE FREE ♪ ♪ AND DON'T YOU WANT TO BE 324 00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,218 ♪ IF WE WANT TO BE FREE ♪ ♪ AND DON'T YOU WANT TO BE FREE, FREE? ♪ 325 00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,742 ♪ AND DON'T YOU WANT TO BE FREE, FREE? ♪ ♪ SOMEBODY, YEAH ♪ 326 00:14:55,127 --> 00:15:00,442 ♪ YEAH, NOW ♪ ♪ SOMETIMES DISTANCE BRINGS MISUNDERSTANDING ♪ 327 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,812 ♪ SOMETIMES DISTANCE BRINGS MISUNDERSTANDING ♪ ♪ YEAH, BUT DEEP IN MY HEART, 328 00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:04,579 MISUNDERSTANDING ♪ ♪ YEAH, BUT DEEP IN MY HEART, I'M DEMANDING ♪ 329 00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:06,215 ♪ YEAH, BUT DEEP IN MY HEART, I'M DEMANDING ♪ ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, WHAT'S THE 330 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:06,816 I'M DEMANDING ♪ ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ 331 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,050 ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 332 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,051 WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ 333 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,452 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 334 00:15:10,476 --> 00:15:11,620 ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ 335 00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,688 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 336 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:13,956 ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ 337 00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,090 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 338 00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,258 ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SAY... ♪ 339 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:17,559 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SAY... ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 340 00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,593 ♪ SAY... ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SAY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? ♪ 341 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:19,795 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SAY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 342 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:20,996 ♪ SAY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO GET... ♪ 343 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,231 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO GET... ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 344 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,099 ♪ YOU GOT TO GET... ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT'S 345 00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:26,802 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING IN JOHANNESBURG ♪ 346 00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:29,338 ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING IN JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ IF L.A. LIKE JOHANNESBURG ♪ 347 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:30,405 HAPPENING IN JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ IF L.A. LIKE JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ IF NEW YORK LIKE 348 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:31,707 ♪ IF L.A. LIKE JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ IF NEW YORK LIKE JOHANNESBURG ♪ 349 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,042 ♪ IF NEW YORK LIKE JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ FREEDOM AIN'T NOTHING BUT A 350 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:33,408 JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ FREEDOM AIN'T NOTHING BUT A WORD ♪ 351 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,177 ♪ FREEDOM AIN'T NOTHING BUT A WORD ♪ ♪ AND I SAID WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ 352 00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:36,511 WORD ♪ ♪ AND I SAID WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 353 00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:37,579 ♪ AND I SAID WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ 354 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:38,714 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 355 00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:39,815 ♪ WHAT'S THE WORD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SAY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? ♪ 356 00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:41,016 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SAY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 357 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,018 ♪ SAY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT'S 358 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:45,754 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING IN JOHANNESBURG ♪ 359 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:46,856 ♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING IN JOHANNESBURG ♪ IF PHILADELPHIA LIKE 360 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,190 HAPPENING IN JOHANNESBURG ♪ IF PHILADELPHIA LIKE JOHANNESBURG ♪ 361 00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:49,225 IF PHILADELPHIA LIKE JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ IF DETROIT'S LIKE 362 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,425 JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ IF DETROIT'S LIKE JOHANNESBURG ♪ 363 00:15:50,449 --> 00:15:51,660 ♪ IF DETROIT'S LIKE JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ FREEDOM AIN'T NOTHING BUT A 364 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:52,161 JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ FREEDOM AIN'T NOTHING BUT A WORD ♪ 365 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,331 ♪ FREEDOM AIN'T NOTHING BUT A WORD ♪ ♪ AIN'T NOTHING BUT A WORD ♪ 366 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,733 WORD ♪ ♪ AIN'T NOTHING BUT A WORD ♪ ♪ LET ME SEE YOUR I.D. ♪ 367 00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,002 ♪ AIN'T NOTHING BUT A WORD ♪ ♪ LET ME SEE YOUR I.D. ♪ ♪ LET ME SEE YOUR I.D. ♪ 368 00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,737 ♪ LET ME SEE YOUR I.D. ♪ ♪ LET ME SEE YOUR I.D. ♪ ♪ PROVE YOU'RE YOU INSTEAD OF 369 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:02,204 ♪ LET ME SEE YOUR I.D. ♪ ♪ PROVE YOU'RE YOU INSTEAD OF ME ♪ 370 00:16:02,228 --> 00:16:04,039 ♪ PROVE YOU'RE YOU INSTEAD OF ME ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ 371 00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:05,007 ME ♪ ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SO WHAT'S THE... ♪ 372 00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:06,075 ♪ JOHANNESBURG ♪ ♪ SO WHAT'S THE... ♪ RIGHT HERE, BROTHERS. 373 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:10,346 ♪ SO WHAT'S THE... ♪ RIGHT HERE, BROTHERS. ♪ YEAH ♪ 374 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,370 RIGHT HERE, BROTHERS. ♪ YEAH ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 375 00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:31,633 GOOD EVENING! WELCOME TO "LOOKS AT BOOKS." I'M YOUR HOST, JANE CURTIN. 376 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,535 WELCOME TO "LOOKS AT BOOKS." I'M YOUR HOST, JANE CURTIN. OUR GUEST TONIGHT IS THE AUTHOR 377 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,237 I'M YOUR HOST, JANE CURTIN. OUR GUEST TONIGHT IS THE AUTHOR OF SEVERAL BOOKS ON RACE IN 378 00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:35,871 OUR GUEST TONIGHT IS THE AUTHOR OF SEVERAL BOOKS ON RACE IN AMERICA. 379 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,672 OF SEVERAL BOOKS ON RACE IN AMERICA. AND HE'S HERE TO TALK ABOUT HIS 380 00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:40,075 AMERICA. AND HE'S HERE TO TALK ABOUT HIS LATEST BOOK, "WHITE LIKE ME." 381 00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:41,276 AND HE'S HERE TO TALK ABOUT HIS LATEST BOOK, "WHITE LIKE ME." WELCOME, WON'T YOU, 382 00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,377 LATEST BOOK, "WHITE LIKE ME." WELCOME, WON'T YOU, JUNIOR GRIFFIN. 383 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,312 WELCOME, WON'T YOU, JUNIOR GRIFFIN. JUNIOR, WHY DON'T YOU BEGIN BY 384 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,115 JUNIOR GRIFFIN. JUNIOR, WHY DON'T YOU BEGIN BY DESCRIBING THE ORDEAL BEHIND 385 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:46,949 JUNIOR, WHY DON'T YOU BEGIN BY DESCRIBING THE ORDEAL BEHIND YOUR BOOK? 386 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,984 DESCRIBING THE ORDEAL BEHIND YOUR BOOK? WELL, I DECIDED THAT THE ONLY 387 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,919 YOUR BOOK? WELL, I DECIDED THAT THE ONLY WAY TO UNDERSTAND A WHITE MAN'S 388 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,888 WELL, I DECIDED THAT THE ONLY WAY TO UNDERSTAND A WHITE MAN'S PROBLEMS WAS ACTUALLY TO BECOME 389 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,890 WAY TO UNDERSTAND A WHITE MAN'S PROBLEMS WAS ACTUALLY TO BECOME A WHITE MAN, GET WHITE SKIN, AND 390 00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,558 PROBLEMS WAS ACTUALLY TO BECOME A WHITE MAN, GET WHITE SKIN, AND LIVE LIKE A WHITE MAN IN A 391 00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,360 A WHITE MAN, GET WHITE SKIN, AND LIVE LIKE A WHITE MAN IN A WHITE MAN'S WORLD, YOU KNOW? 392 00:16:58,384 --> 00:16:59,995 LIVE LIKE A WHITE MAN IN A WHITE MAN'S WORLD, YOU KNOW? AND, UH, HOW DID YOU 393 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,196 WHITE MAN'S WORLD, YOU KNOW? AND, UH, HOW DID YOU ACCOMPLISH THIS? 394 00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:04,867 AND, UH, HOW DID YOU ACCOMPLISH THIS? SHOE POLISH. 395 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,769 ACCOMPLISH THIS? SHOE POLISH. HERE'S A COPY OF THE BOOK 396 00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:09,838 SHOE POLISH. HERE'S A COPY OF THE BOOK WITH A PICTURE OF JUNIOR AS A 397 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,941 HERE'S A COPY OF THE BOOK WITH A PICTURE OF JUNIOR AS A WHITE MAN. 398 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,110 WITH A PICTURE OF JUNIOR AS A WHITE MAN. JUNIOR, WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE TO 399 00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,478 WHITE MAN. JUNIOR, WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE TO SUDDENLY BE WHITE? 400 00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,247 JUNIOR, WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE TO SUDDENLY BE WHITE? WELL, YOU KNOW, IT WAS 401 00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,582 SUDDENLY BE WHITE? WELL, YOU KNOW, IT WAS SPOOKY. 402 00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,251 WELL, YOU KNOW, IT WAS SPOOKY. I WAS WALKING AROUND WITH THE 403 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:23,952 SPOOKY. I WAS WALKING AROUND WITH THE CREDIT CARDS BULGING OUT OF MY 404 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,020 I WAS WALKING AROUND WITH THE CREDIT CARDS BULGING OUT OF MY WALLET, YOU KNOW? 405 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,588 CREDIT CARDS BULGING OUT OF MY WALLET, YOU KNOW? AND I'D APPLY FOR JOBS, GET 406 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,356 WALLET, YOU KNOW? AND I'D APPLY FOR JOBS, GET ACCEPTED 8 OUT OF 10 TIMES, YOU 407 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:28,757 AND I'D APPLY FOR JOBS, GET ACCEPTED 8 OUT OF 10 TIMES, YOU KNOW? 408 00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,292 ACCEPTED 8 OUT OF 10 TIMES, YOU KNOW? AND THINGS I NEVER DREAMT OF WAS 409 00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:31,593 KNOW? AND THINGS I NEVER DREAMT OF WAS HAPPENING TO ME, YOU KNOW? 410 00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:32,995 AND THINGS I NEVER DREAMT OF WAS HAPPENING TO ME, YOU KNOW? IT WAS REALLY SOMETHING ELSE. 411 00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:34,362 HAPPENING TO ME, YOU KNOW? IT WAS REALLY SOMETHING ELSE. YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO 412 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:35,998 IT WAS REALLY SOMETHING ELSE. YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND YOU, JUNIOR, BUT I DON'T 413 00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:37,565 YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND YOU, JUNIOR, BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD BELIEVE YOU WERE 414 00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:39,067 OFFEND YOU, JUNIOR, BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD BELIEVE YOU WERE WHITE EVEN WITH SHOE POLISH. 415 00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:40,669 THINK I WOULD BELIEVE YOU WERE WHITE EVEN WITH SHOE POLISH. DID ANY OTHER WHITE FOLKS CATCH 416 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:41,636 WHITE EVEN WITH SHOE POLISH. DID ANY OTHER WHITE FOLKS CATCH ON TO YOUR GAME? 417 00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:42,437 DID ANY OTHER WHITE FOLKS CATCH ON TO YOUR GAME? NOT A ONE. 418 00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:43,972 ON TO YOUR GAME? NOT A ONE. THERE'S SOME DUMB HONKIES OUT 419 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,440 NOT A ONE. THERE'S SOME DUMB HONKIES OUT THERE. 420 00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:46,942 THERE'S SOME DUMB HONKIES OUT THERE. THEY DIDN'T CATCH ON A BIT 421 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,710 THERE. THEY DIDN'T CATCH ON A BIT BECAUSE I GOT INTO IT, YOU KNOW? 422 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,445 THEY DIDN'T CATCH ON A BIT BECAUSE I GOT INTO IT, YOU KNOW? I BECAME A WHITE PERSON AND GOT 423 00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:52,181 BECAUSE I GOT INTO IT, YOU KNOW? I BECAME A WHITE PERSON AND GOT A WHITE ATTITUDE, YOU KNOW WHAT 424 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:52,747 I BECAME A WHITE PERSON AND GOT A WHITE ATTITUDE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 425 00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:54,382 A WHITE ATTITUDE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? COULD YOU DEMONSTRATE THIS 426 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:54,950 I MEAN? COULD YOU DEMONSTRATE THIS FOR US? 427 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,185 COULD YOU DEMONSTRATE THIS FOR US? WELL, IF YOU DON'T MIND. 428 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,452 FOR US? WELL, IF YOU DON'T MIND. BUT, SEE, THERE'S A CERTAIN 429 00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:58,687 WELL, IF YOU DON'T MIND. BUT, SEE, THERE'S A CERTAIN WHITE WALK THAT YOU HAVE TO 430 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,022 BUT, SEE, THERE'S A CERTAIN WHITE WALK THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE, YOU KNOW, AND A CERTAIN 431 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:00,655 WHITE WALK THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE, YOU KNOW, AND A CERTAIN WHITE TALK. 432 00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,024 HAVE, YOU KNOW, AND A CERTAIN WHITE TALK. I MEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST BE LIKE 433 00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:03,292 WHITE TALK. I MEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST BE LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 434 00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,559 I MEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST BE LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? YOU GOT TO GET DOWN AND SAY 435 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:08,163 THIS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? YOU GOT TO GET DOWN AND SAY THINGS LIKE, "EXCUSE ME? 436 00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:09,998 YOU GOT TO GET DOWN AND SAY THINGS LIKE, "EXCUSE ME? WOULD YOU MOVE OUT OF MY WAY?" 437 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,466 THINGS LIKE, "EXCUSE ME? WOULD YOU MOVE OUT OF MY WAY?" AND YOU WALK LIKE THIS. 438 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:14,251 WOULD YOU MOVE OUT OF MY WAY?" AND YOU WALK LIKE THIS. CHECK THIS WALK. 439 00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:25,914 YOU GOT ME. [LAUGHS] TELL ME, JUNIOR, DO YOU HAVE ANY 440 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,015 [LAUGHS] TELL ME, JUNIOR, DO YOU HAVE ANY WORKS IN PROGRESS? 441 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,650 TELL ME, JUNIOR, DO YOU HAVE ANY WORKS IN PROGRESS? WELL, I'M WORKING ON A NEW 442 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:29,117 WORKS IN PROGRESS? WELL, I'M WORKING ON A NEW BOOK. 443 00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:30,785 WELL, I'M WORKING ON A NEW BOOK. IT'S FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A 444 00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:33,021 BOOK. IT'S FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A WHITE JEWISH AMERICAN PRINCESS. 445 00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,356 IT'S FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A WHITE JEWISH AMERICAN PRINCESS. THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY 446 00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:34,990 WHITE JEWISH AMERICAN PRINCESS. THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT. 447 00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,391 THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT. IT'S GONNA BE TRICKY, ALL 448 00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:36,859 DIFFICULT. IT'S GONNA BE TRICKY, ALL RIGHT. 449 00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,426 IT'S GONNA BE TRICKY, ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA HAVE TO HAVE 450 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,962 RIGHT. YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA HAVE TO HAVE A SEX-CHANGE OPERATION, AND I'M 451 00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:42,064 YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA HAVE TO HAVE A SEX-CHANGE OPERATION, AND I'M GONNA MARRY A DOCTOR. 452 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,531 A SEX-CHANGE OPERATION, AND I'M GONNA MARRY A DOCTOR. WELL, WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT 453 00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:44,199 GONNA MARRY A DOCTOR. WELL, WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT THAT LATER. 454 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:45,700 WELL, WE'LL TALK MORE ABOUT THAT LATER. GET A COUPLE KIDS, PROBABLY. 455 00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:47,169 THAT LATER. GET A COUPLE KIDS, PROBABLY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, JUNIOR, 456 00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:48,503 GET A COUPLE KIDS, PROBABLY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, JUNIOR, FOR BEING ON THIS SHOW, AND 457 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:49,972 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, JUNIOR, FOR BEING ON THIS SHOW, AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS 458 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,573 FOR BEING ON THIS SHOW, AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS FILMED MESSAGE. 459 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:54,237 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS FILMED MESSAGE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 460 00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:01,183 HONEY, I'M HOME! DADDY! HEY, PAL! 461 00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:02,150 DADDY! HEY, PAL! [LAUGHS] 462 00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:05,087 HEY, PAL! [LAUGHS] HOW YOU DOING? 463 00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:06,889 [LAUGHS] HOW YOU DOING? YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME, A 464 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,191 HOW YOU DOING? YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME, A GOOD JOB, SOLID INVESTMENTS, A 465 00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:11,494 YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME, A GOOD JOB, SOLID INVESTMENTS, A WONDERFUL FAMILY... EVERYTHING 466 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,428 GOOD JOB, SOLID INVESTMENTS, A WONDERFUL FAMILY... EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR THE FUTURE... 467 00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:14,463 WONDERFUL FAMILY... EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR THE FUTURE... OR IS IT? 468 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,232 YOU NEED FOR THE FUTURE... OR IS IT? WHAT IF YOU WERE SUDDENLY OUT OF 469 00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:21,971 OR IS IT? WHAT IF YOU WERE SUDDENLY OUT OF THE PICTURE? 470 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,706 WHAT IF YOU WERE SUDDENLY OUT OF THE PICTURE? SHOULD TRAGEDY STRIKE, WHAT 471 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,140 THE PICTURE? SHOULD TRAGEDY STRIKE, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM? 472 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,042 SHOULD TRAGEDY STRIKE, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM? SURE, YOU'VE PROVIDED FOR THEM 473 00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,777 WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM? SURE, YOU'VE PROVIDED FOR THEM FINANCIALLY, BUT WHAT ABOUT 474 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,579 SURE, YOU'VE PROVIDED FOR THEM FINANCIALLY, BUT WHAT ABOUT THEIR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL 475 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:32,047 FINANCIALLY, BUT WHAT ABOUT THEIR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL NEEDS? 476 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:37,285 THEIR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL NEEDS? [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 477 00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:38,554 NEEDS? [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] HONEY, I'M HOME! 478 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:39,254 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] HONEY, I'M HOME! DADDY! 479 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:41,056 HONEY, I'M HOME! DADDY! YES, IT'S "NEW DAD"... - A 480 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,925 DADDY! YES, IT'S "NEW DAD"... - A RADICALLY NEW CONCEPT IN FAMILY 481 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,159 YES, IT'S "NEW DAD"... - A RADICALLY NEW CONCEPT IN FAMILY INSURANCE COVERAGE. 482 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,995 RADICALLY NEW CONCEPT IN FAMILY INSURANCE COVERAGE. WITHIN SECONDS AFTER "OLD DAD" 483 00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:47,863 INSURANCE COVERAGE. WITHIN SECONDS AFTER "OLD DAD" IS OUT, WE'LL HAVE "NEW DAD" 484 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,565 WITHIN SECONDS AFTER "OLD DAD" IS OUT, WE'LL HAVE "NEW DAD" THERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE. 485 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,333 IS OUT, WE'LL HAVE "NEW DAD" THERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE. IS YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY 486 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,536 THERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE. IS YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY COVERED... NOT JUST FINANCIALLY, 487 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,137 IS YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY COVERED... NOT JUST FINANCIALLY, BUT IN EVERY WAY? 488 00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:56,772 COVERED... NOT JUST FINANCIALLY, BUT IN EVERY WAY? WHY NOT CALL YOUR LOCAL 489 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,607 BUT IN EVERY WAY? WHY NOT CALL YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENT 490 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,475 WHY NOT CALL YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENT TODAY AND ASK HIM ABOUT OUR 491 00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:03,412 INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENT TODAY AND ASK HIM ABOUT OUR "NEW DAD" POLICY BEFORE IT'S TOO 492 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,446 TODAY AND ASK HIM ABOUT OUR "NEW DAD" POLICY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. 493 00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,849 "NEW DAD" POLICY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. THAT'S "NEW DAD"... THE ONLY 494 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,217 LATE. THAT'S "NEW DAD"... THE ONLY INSURANCE THAT COVERS ALL OF 495 00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:11,961 THAT'S "NEW DAD"... THE ONLY INSURANCE THAT COVERS ALL OF THEIR NEEDS. 496 00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:21,651 [APPLAUSE] 497 00:20:31,429 --> 00:20:35,310 ALL RIGHT NOW, MA'AM, PLEASE DO NOT BE FRIGHTENED. NOW, THE SUSPECTS CANNOT SEE 498 00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:36,311 DO NOT BE FRIGHTENED. NOW, THE SUSPECTS CANNOT SEE YOU. 499 00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:38,280 NOW, THE SUSPECTS CANNOT SEE YOU. CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE MAN WHO 500 00:20:38,304 --> 00:20:39,414 YOU. CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE MAN WHO ASSAULTED YOU? 501 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:41,649 CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE MAN WHO ASSAULTED YOU? WELL, I... I COULDN'T SEE HIM 502 00:20:41,673 --> 00:20:44,353 ASSAULTED YOU? WELL, I... I COULDN'T SEE HIM TOO CLEARLY, BUT I'M SURE IT'S 503 00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,088 WELL, I... I COULDN'T SEE HIM TOO CLEARLY, BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE ONE IN THE HANDCUFFS. 504 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:51,260 TOO CLEARLY, BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE ONE IN THE HANDCUFFS. OKAY, WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM. 505 00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:55,364 THE ONE IN THE HANDCUFFS. OKAY, WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 506 00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,266 OKAY, WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ALL RIGHT, MR. WILSON, YOU'VE 507 00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,168 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ALL RIGHT, MR. WILSON, YOU'VE DONE JUST FINE ON THE RORSCHACH. 508 00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:01,537 ALL RIGHT, MR. WILSON, YOU'VE DONE JUST FINE ON THE RORSCHACH. YOUR PAPERS ARE IN GOOD ORDER. 509 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,238 DONE JUST FINE ON THE RORSCHACH. YOUR PAPERS ARE IN GOOD ORDER. THE FILE'S FINE. 510 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,873 YOUR PAPERS ARE IN GOOD ORDER. THE FILE'S FINE. NO DIFFICULTY WITH YOUR MOTOR 511 00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:05,441 THE FILE'S FINE. NO DIFFICULTY WITH YOUR MOTOR SKILLS. 512 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:06,975 NO DIFFICULTY WITH YOUR MOTOR SKILLS. AND I THINK YOU'RE PROBABLY 513 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,477 SKILLS. AND I THINK YOU'RE PROBABLY PRETTY READY FOR THIS JOB. 514 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:09,711 AND I THINK YOU'RE PROBABLY PRETTY READY FOR THIS JOB. WE GOT ONE MORE KIND OF 515 00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:11,280 PRETTY READY FOR THIS JOB. WE GOT ONE MORE KIND OF PSYCHOLOGICAL TEST WE ALWAYS DO 516 00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:11,713 WE GOT ONE MORE KIND OF PSYCHOLOGICAL TEST WE ALWAYS DO HERE. 517 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:13,182 PSYCHOLOGICAL TEST WE ALWAYS DO HERE. IT'S JUST A WORD ASSOCIATION. 518 00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:14,783 HERE. IT'S JUST A WORD ASSOCIATION. I'LL THROW YOU OUT A FEW WORDS. 519 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,151 IT'S JUST A WORD ASSOCIATION. I'LL THROW YOU OUT A FEW WORDS. ANYTHING THAT COMES TO YOUR 520 00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:17,619 I'LL THROW YOU OUT A FEW WORDS. ANYTHING THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND, JUST THROW BACK AT ME, 521 00:21:17,643 --> 00:21:19,188 ANYTHING THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND, JUST THROW BACK AT ME, OKAY, JUST KIND OF AN ARBITRARY 522 00:21:19,212 --> 00:21:19,654 MIND, JUST THROW BACK AT ME, OKAY, JUST KIND OF AN ARBITRARY THING. 523 00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:21,190 OKAY, JUST KIND OF AN ARBITRARY THING. IF I SAID, "DOG", YOU'D SAY... 524 00:21:21,214 --> 00:21:21,756 THING. IF I SAID, "DOG", YOU'D SAY... TREE. 525 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:26,528 IF I SAID, "DOG", YOU'D SAY... TREE. TREE. 526 00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:27,529 TREE. TREE. DOG. 527 00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:29,931 TREE. DOG. TREE. 528 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:30,599 DOG. TREE. FAST. 529 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,933 TREE. FAST. SLOW. 530 00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,235 FAST. SLOW. RAIN. 531 00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:34,570 SLOW. RAIN. SNOW. 532 00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:36,004 RAIN. SNOW. WHITE. 533 00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:37,706 SNOW. WHITE. BLACK. 534 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:38,974 WHITE. BLACK. BEAN. 535 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:41,009 BLACK. BEAN. POD. 536 00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:43,378 BEAN. POD. NEGRO. 537 00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:46,081 POD. NEGRO. WHITEY. 538 00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:53,255 NEGRO. WHITEY. TAR BABY. 539 00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:56,325 WHITEY. TAR BABY. WHAT'D YOU SAY? 540 00:21:56,349 --> 00:21:59,328 TAR BABY. WHAT'D YOU SAY? TAR BABY. 541 00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:03,599 WHAT'D YOU SAY? TAR BABY. OFAY. 542 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:05,033 TAR BABY. OFAY. COLORED. 543 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:08,370 OFAY. COLORED. REDNECK. 544 00:22:08,394 --> 00:22:09,271 COLORED. REDNECK. JUNGLE BUNNY. 545 00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:13,308 REDNECK. JUNGLE BUNNY. PECKERWOOD! 546 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,443 JUNGLE BUNNY. PECKERWOOD! BURR HEAD. 547 00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:18,046 PECKERWOOD! BURR HEAD. CRACKER! 548 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:19,648 BURR HEAD. CRACKER! SPEAR CHUCKER. 549 00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:21,082 CRACKER! SPEAR CHUCKER. WHITE TRASH! 550 00:22:21,106 --> 00:22:22,618 SPEAR CHUCKER. WHITE TRASH! JUNGLE BUNNY! 551 00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:24,319 WHITE TRASH! JUNGLE BUNNY! HONKY! 552 00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,787 JUNGLE BUNNY! HONKY! SPADE! 553 00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:30,159 HONKY! SPADE! HONKY HONKY! 554 00:22:30,183 --> 00:22:31,059 SPADE! HONKY HONKY! NIGGER! 555 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,517 HONKY HONKY! NIGGER! DEAD HONKY! 556 00:22:41,926 --> 00:22:48,943 OKAY, MR. WILSON. I THINK YOU'RE QUALIFIED FOR THIS JOB. 557 00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:50,379 I THINK YOU'RE QUALIFIED FOR THIS JOB. HOW ABOUT A STARTING SALARY OF 558 00:22:50,403 --> 00:22:51,280 THIS JOB. HOW ABOUT A STARTING SALARY OF $5,000? 559 00:22:51,304 --> 00:22:54,449 HOW ABOUT A STARTING SALARY OF $5,000? YOUR MAMA! 560 00:22:54,473 --> 00:22:56,918 $5,000? YOUR MAMA! UH, $7,500 A YEAR? 561 00:22:56,942 --> 00:23:00,656 YOUR MAMA! UH, $7,500 A YEAR? YOUR GRANDMAMA! 562 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:02,324 UH, $7,500 A YEAR? YOUR GRANDMAMA! $15,000, MR. WILSON... YOU'LL 563 00:23:02,348 --> 00:23:03,892 YOUR GRANDMAMA! $15,000, MR. WILSON... YOU'LL BE THE HIGHEST-PAID JANITOR IN 564 00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:04,459 $15,000, MR. WILSON... YOU'LL BE THE HIGHEST-PAID JANITOR IN AMERICA. 565 00:23:04,483 --> 00:23:06,861 BE THE HIGHEST-PAID JANITOR IN AMERICA. JUST DON'T HURT ME, PLEASE. 566 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,430 AMERICA. JUST DON'T HURT ME, PLEASE. OKAY. 567 00:23:08,454 --> 00:23:08,930 JUST DON'T HURT ME, PLEASE. OKAY. OKAY. 568 00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:10,199 OKAY. OKAY. YOU WANT ME TO START NOW? 569 00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:11,633 OKAY. YOU WANT ME TO START NOW? OH, NO, NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 570 00:23:11,657 --> 00:23:12,734 YOU WANT ME TO START NOW? OH, NO, NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I'LL CLEAN ALL THIS UP. 571 00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:13,968 OH, NO, NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I'LL CLEAN ALL THIS UP. TAKE A COUPLE OF WEEKS OFF. 572 00:23:13,992 --> 00:23:15,770 I'LL CLEAN ALL THIS UP. TAKE A COUPLE OF WEEKS OFF. YOU LOOK TIRED. 573 00:23:15,794 --> 00:23:18,314 TAKE A COUPLE OF WEEKS OFF. YOU LOOK TIRED. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 574 00:23:25,837 --> 00:23:29,584 YEAH, I HEARD YOU GUYS LOST TO THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO LAST NIGHT. 575 00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:30,785 TO THE UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO LAST NIGHT. WHAT WAS IT, 11 TO 2? 576 00:23:30,809 --> 00:23:32,420 LAST NIGHT. WHAT WAS IT, 11 TO 2? YEAH, THEY HAD THIS ONE GUY 577 00:23:32,444 --> 00:23:33,889 WHAT WAS IT, 11 TO 2? YEAH, THEY HAD THIS ONE GUY NAMED BOUCHARD WHO WAS JUST 578 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:34,523 YEAH, THEY HAD THIS ONE GUY NAMED BOUCHARD WHO WAS JUST AMAZING. 579 00:23:34,547 --> 00:23:36,124 NAMED BOUCHARD WHO WAS JUST AMAZING. HE LOOKED LIKE HE PLAYED PRO 580 00:23:36,148 --> 00:23:37,358 AMAZING. HE LOOKED LIKE HE PLAYED PRO HOCKEY OR SOMETHING. 581 00:23:37,382 --> 00:23:39,027 HE LOOKED LIKE HE PLAYED PRO HOCKEY OR SOMETHING. ANYWAY, HE HAD A GREAT NIGHT. 582 00:23:39,051 --> 00:23:40,662 HOCKEY OR SOMETHING. ANYWAY, HE HAD A GREAT NIGHT. SOUNDS LIKE, UH, SOUNDS... 583 00:23:40,686 --> 00:23:42,330 ANYWAY, HE HAD A GREAT NIGHT. SOUNDS LIKE, UH, SOUNDS... SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD IT PRETTY 584 00:23:42,354 --> 00:23:43,331 SOUNDS LIKE, UH, SOUNDS... SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD IT PRETTY ROUGH LAST NIGHT. 585 00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:44,866 SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD IT PRETTY ROUGH LAST NIGHT. WELL, YEAH, BUT I SCORED A 586 00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:45,500 ROUGH LAST NIGHT. WELL, YEAH, BUT I SCORED A GOAL. 587 00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:47,101 WELL, YEAH, BUT I SCORED A GOAL. YOU SCORED A GOAL? 588 00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:49,738 GOAL. YOU SCORED A GOAL? BUT YOU'RE THE GOALIE, RIGHT? 589 00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:51,172 YOU SCORED A GOAL? BUT YOU'RE THE GOALIE, RIGHT? YEAH, I'M THE GOALIE. 590 00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:51,640 BUT YOU'RE THE GOALIE, RIGHT? YEAH, I'M THE GOALIE. YEAH. 591 00:23:51,664 --> 00:23:53,408 YEAH, I'M THE GOALIE. YEAH. WHAT HAPPENED WAS THIS BOUCHARD 592 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,243 YEAH. WHAT HAPPENED WAS THIS BOUCHARD HAD AN INCREDIBLE SLAP SHOT, AND 593 00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:56,811 WHAT HAPPENED WAS THIS BOUCHARD HAD AN INCREDIBLE SLAP SHOT, AND HE... HE HIT ONE REAL HARD. 594 00:23:56,835 --> 00:23:57,846 HAD AN INCREDIBLE SLAP SHOT, AND HE... HE HIT ONE REAL HARD. I DIDN'T SEE IT. 595 00:23:57,870 --> 00:23:59,447 HE... HE HIT ONE REAL HARD. I DIDN'T SEE IT. HIT ME RIGHT IN THE CUP, YOU 596 00:23:59,471 --> 00:23:59,848 I DIDN'T SEE IT. HIT ME RIGHT IN THE CUP, YOU KNOW? 597 00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:00,348 HIT ME RIGHT IN THE CUP, YOU KNOW? WOW. 598 00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:01,716 KNOW? WOW. YEAH, IT BOUNCED TO CENTER 599 00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:03,184 WOW. YEAH, IT BOUNCED TO CENTER ICE AND ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE 600 00:24:03,208 --> 00:24:04,586 YEAH, IT BOUNCED TO CENTER ICE AND ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE OTHER END, AND IT SKIPPED PAST 601 00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:05,319 ICE AND ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE OTHER END, AND IT SKIPPED PAST THEIR GOALIE. 602 00:24:05,343 --> 00:24:06,621 OTHER END, AND IT SKIPPED PAST THEIR GOALIE. NO KIDDING! 603 00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:08,222 THEIR GOALIE. NO KIDDING! BOY, I WISH I HAD SEEN THAT. 604 00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:09,624 NO KIDDING! BOY, I WISH I HAD SEEN THAT. HEY, YOUR MOUTH LOOKS PRETTY 605 00:24:09,648 --> 00:24:10,025 BOY, I WISH I HAD SEEN THAT. HEY, YOUR MOUTH LOOKS PRETTY BAD. 606 00:24:10,049 --> 00:24:11,125 HEY, YOUR MOUTH LOOKS PRETTY BAD. DOES THAT STILL HURT? 607 00:24:11,149 --> 00:24:11,860 BAD. DOES THAT STILL HURT? A LITTLE. 608 00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:13,327 DOES THAT STILL HURT? A LITTLE. THEY SAID THE STITCHES WILL BE 609 00:24:13,351 --> 00:24:14,162 A LITTLE. THEY SAID THE STITCHES WILL BE OUT NEXT WEEK. 610 00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:15,329 THEY SAID THE STITCHES WILL BE OUT NEXT WEEK. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? 611 00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:16,665 OUT NEXT WEEK. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? I HEARD YOU GOT HIT WITH A 612 00:24:16,689 --> 00:24:17,966 HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? I HEARD YOU GOT HIT WITH A STICK OR SOMETHING? 613 00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:19,868 I HEARD YOU GOT HIT WITH A STICK OR SOMETHING? NO, YOU SEE THIS, UH... YOU 614 00:24:19,892 --> 00:24:21,736 STICK OR SOMETHING? NO, YOU SEE THIS, UH... YOU KNOW, WE DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE 615 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,638 NO, YOU SEE THIS, UH... YOU KNOW, WE DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE WITH THIS BOUCHARD GUY DANCING 616 00:24:23,662 --> 00:24:24,839 KNOW, WE DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE WITH THIS BOUCHARD GUY DANCING AROUND, YOU KNOW. 617 00:24:24,863 --> 00:24:26,775 WITH THIS BOUCHARD GUY DANCING AROUND, YOU KNOW. SO HE CAME SWOOSHING BY MY NET 618 00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:28,777 AROUND, YOU KNOW. SO HE CAME SWOOSHING BY MY NET AFTER HE SCORED HIS EIGHTH GOAL, 619 00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:29,410 SO HE CAME SWOOSHING BY MY NET AFTER HE SCORED HIS EIGHTH GOAL, YOU KNOW? 620 00:24:29,434 --> 00:24:30,979 AFTER HE SCORED HIS EIGHTH GOAL, YOU KNOW? SO I JUST TAPPED HIM A LITTLE 621 00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:32,581 YOU KNOW? SO I JUST TAPPED HIM A LITTLE BIT ON THE HEAD WITH MY STICK. 622 00:24:32,605 --> 00:24:33,247 SO I JUST TAPPED HIM A LITTLE BIT ON THE HEAD WITH MY STICK. RIGHT. 623 00:24:33,271 --> 00:24:34,950 BIT ON THE HEAD WITH MY STICK. RIGHT. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THIS 624 00:24:34,974 --> 00:24:36,651 RIGHT. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THIS BOUCHARD GUY'S GOT HIS GLOVES ON 625 00:24:36,675 --> 00:24:38,286 THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THIS BOUCHARD GUY'S GOT HIS GLOVES ON THE ICE AND HE'S PUNCHING ME IN 626 00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:39,821 BOUCHARD GUY'S GOT HIS GLOVES ON THE ICE AND HE'S PUNCHING ME IN THE MOUTH AS HARD AS HE CAN. 627 00:24:39,845 --> 00:24:40,354 THE ICE AND HE'S PUNCHING ME IN THE MOUTH AS HARD AS HE CAN. WOW! 628 00:24:40,378 --> 00:24:41,723 THE MOUTH AS HARD AS HE CAN. WOW! AND GET THIS... THE REF 629 00:24:41,747 --> 00:24:43,058 WOW! AND GET THIS... THE REF THROWS ME OUT OF THE GAME 630 00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:44,158 AND GET THIS... THE REF THROWS ME OUT OF THE GAME INSTEAD OF BOUCHARD. 631 00:24:44,182 --> 00:24:44,993 THROWS ME OUT OF THE GAME INSTEAD OF BOUCHARD. NO KIDDING. 632 00:24:45,017 --> 00:24:46,628 INSTEAD OF BOUCHARD. NO KIDDING. YEAH, HE WAS MAKING BAD CALLS 633 00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:47,729 NO KIDDING. YEAH, HE WAS MAKING BAD CALLS LIKE THAT ALL NIGHT. 634 00:24:47,753 --> 00:24:48,229 YEAH, HE WAS MAKING BAD CALLS LIKE THAT ALL NIGHT. WOW. 635 00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:49,731 LIKE THAT ALL NIGHT. WOW. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH 636 00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:51,099 WOW. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY SIDE OF THE MACHINE HERE. 637 00:24:51,123 --> 00:24:52,433 THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY SIDE OF THE MACHINE HERE. WELL, LET'S PLAY ANOTHER 638 00:24:52,457 --> 00:24:53,868 MY SIDE OF THE MACHINE HERE. WELL, LET'S PLAY ANOTHER GAME, AND WE'LL SWITCH SIDES. 639 00:24:53,892 --> 00:24:55,203 WELL, LET'S PLAY ANOTHER GAME, AND WE'LL SWITCH SIDES. NO, I GOT TO SUIT UP FOR 640 00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:57,238 GAME, AND WE'LL SWITCH SIDES. NO, I GOT TO SUIT UP FOR PRACTICE. 641 00:24:57,262 --> 00:24:59,543 NO, I GOT TO SUIT UP FOR PRACTICE. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 642 00:25:03,935 --> 00:25:07,248 AND THE POINT IS THAT THEY ARE TAKING OVER. FIRST THEY BOUGHT THE SWEENEYS' 643 00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:08,650 ARE TAKING OVER. FIRST THEY BOUGHT THE SWEENEYS' HOUSE, AND THEN THEY BOUGHT THE 644 00:25:08,674 --> 00:25:09,885 FIRST THEY BOUGHT THE SWEENEYS' HOUSE, AND THEN THEY BOUGHT THE THOMAS' HOUSE, AND THEN THEY 645 00:25:09,909 --> 00:25:10,819 HOUSE, AND THEN THEY BOUGHT THE THOMAS' HOUSE, AND THEN THEY BOUGHT THE SMITHS'. 646 00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:11,853 THOMAS' HOUSE, AND THEN THEY BOUGHT THE SMITHS'. LET'S FACE FACTS HERE. 647 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:12,788 BOUGHT THE SMITHS'. LET'S FACE FACTS HERE. THEY'RE TAKING OVER. 648 00:25:12,812 --> 00:25:13,722 LET'S FACE FACTS HERE. THEY'RE TAKING OVER. [TELEPHONE RINGS] 649 00:25:13,746 --> 00:25:14,656 THEY'RE TAKING OVER. [TELEPHONE RINGS] OH, I'LL GET IT! 650 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,091 [TELEPHONE RINGS] OH, I'LL GET IT! NO PHONE CONVERSATIONS DURING 651 00:25:16,115 --> 00:25:16,558 OH, I'LL GET IT! NO PHONE CONVERSATIONS DURING DINNER. 652 00:25:16,582 --> 00:25:17,559 NO PHONE CONVERSATIONS DURING DINNER. YOU KNOW THAT, POLLY. 653 00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:18,526 DINNER. YOU KNOW THAT, POLLY. OH, COME ON, MOM. 654 00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:19,661 YOU KNOW THAT, POLLY. OH, COME ON, MOM. I JUST KNOW IT'S STEVEN. 655 00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:21,063 OH, COME ON, MOM. I JUST KNOW IT'S STEVEN. I KNOW HE'S GONNA ASK ME TO THE 656 00:25:21,087 --> 00:25:21,863 I JUST KNOW IT'S STEVEN. I KNOW HE'S GONNA ASK ME TO THE CHRISTMAS DANCE! 657 00:25:21,887 --> 00:25:23,065 I KNOW HE'S GONNA ASK ME TO THE CHRISTMAS DANCE! HE'S CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL 658 00:25:23,089 --> 00:25:24,432 CHRISTMAS DANCE! HE'S CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM, AND HE'LL ASK JUDY IRVING 659 00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:25,734 HE'S CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM, AND HE'LL ASK JUDY IRVING IF I DON'T GO, AND I JUST KNOW 660 00:25:25,758 --> 00:25:28,737 TEAM, AND HE'LL ASK JUDY IRVING IF I DON'T GO, AND I JUST KNOW IT'LL RUIN MY LIFE! 661 00:25:28,761 --> 00:25:29,504 IF I DON'T GO, AND I JUST KNOW IT'LL RUIN MY LIFE! OH, OKAY. 662 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,006 IT'LL RUIN MY LIFE! OH, OKAY. BUT MAKE IT FAST BEFORE YOUR 663 00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:32,373 OH, OKAY. BUT MAKE IT FAST BEFORE YOUR FRUITED JELLO GETS COLD. 664 00:25:32,397 --> 00:25:34,076 BUT MAKE IT FAST BEFORE YOUR FRUITED JELLO GETS COLD. THEY'RE TAKING OVER LIKE SOME 665 00:25:34,100 --> 00:25:35,010 FRUITED JELLO GETS COLD. THEY'RE TAKING OVER LIKE SOME KIND OF FLU BUG! 666 00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:36,612 THEY'RE TAKING OVER LIKE SOME KIND OF FLU BUG! FIRST ONE GUY AT THE OFFICE IS 667 00:25:36,636 --> 00:25:38,213 KIND OF FLU BUG! FIRST ONE GUY AT THE OFFICE IS OUT WITH THE RUNS, AND THEN IT 668 00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:40,816 FIRST ONE GUY AT THE OFFICE IS OUT WITH THE RUNS, AND THEN IT STARTS TO SPREAD. 669 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:41,617 OUT WITH THE RUNS, AND THEN IT STARTS TO SPREAD. MOM? DAD? 670 00:25:41,641 --> 00:25:43,218 STARTS TO SPREAD. MOM? DAD? WOULD ANYBODY ELSE LIKE SOME 671 00:25:43,242 --> 00:25:44,886 MOM? DAD? WOULD ANYBODY ELSE LIKE SOME NICE, COLD, FRESH, WHOLE MILK? 672 00:25:44,910 --> 00:25:46,354 WOULD ANYBODY ELSE LIKE SOME NICE, COLD, FRESH, WHOLE MILK? NO, THANK YOU, SCOTTY. 673 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:48,056 NICE, COLD, FRESH, WHOLE MILK? NO, THANK YOU, SCOTTY. YOU MIND IF I'M EXCUSED FROM 674 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:48,790 NO, THANK YOU, SCOTTY. YOU MIND IF I'M EXCUSED FROM THE TABLE? 675 00:25:48,814 --> 00:25:49,891 YOU MIND IF I'M EXCUSED FROM THE TABLE? GO RIGHT AHEAD. 676 00:25:49,915 --> 00:25:54,863 THE TABLE? GO RIGHT AHEAD. THANKS. 677 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,364 GO RIGHT AHEAD. THANKS. THAT IS WHAT THIS BLACK THING 678 00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:57,766 THANKS. THAT IS WHAT THIS BLACK THING IS LIKE... IT'S JUST LIKE THE 679 00:25:57,790 --> 00:25:58,166 THAT IS WHAT THIS BLACK THING IS LIKE... IT'S JUST LIKE THE RUNS. 680 00:25:58,190 --> 00:25:59,668 IS LIKE... IT'S JUST LIKE THE RUNS. IT'S LIKE SOME KIND OF FLU BUG. 681 00:25:59,692 --> 00:26:01,036 RUNS. IT'S LIKE SOME KIND OF FLU BUG. IT'S EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, AND 682 00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:02,303 IT'S LIKE SOME KIND OF FLU BUG. IT'S EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, AND THERE'S NOWHERE YOU CAN GO 683 00:26:02,327 --> 00:26:03,705 IT'S EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, AND THERE'S NOWHERE YOU CAN GO EXCEPT FOR THE SOLACE OF YOUR 684 00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:04,906 THERE'S NOWHERE YOU CAN GO EXCEPT FOR THE SOLACE OF YOUR OWN BATHROOM! 685 00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:06,608 EXCEPT FOR THE SOLACE OF YOUR OWN BATHROOM! MOM! 686 00:26:06,632 --> 00:26:12,014 OWN BATHROOM! MOM! HE ASKED ME! 687 00:26:12,038 --> 00:26:13,882 MOM! HE ASKED ME! DO WE INTERRUPT WHEN YOUR 688 00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:17,019 HE ASKED ME! DO WE INTERRUPT WHEN YOUR FATHER IS TALKING, POLLY? 689 00:26:17,043 --> 00:26:17,853 DO WE INTERRUPT WHEN YOUR FATHER IS TALKING, POLLY? I'M SORRY. 690 00:26:17,877 --> 00:26:19,420 FATHER IS TALKING, POLLY? I'M SORRY. IT SCARES ME, THAT'S ALL. 691 00:26:19,444 --> 00:26:20,488 I'M SORRY. IT SCARES ME, THAT'S ALL. IT JUST SCARES ME. 692 00:26:20,512 --> 00:26:22,190 IT SCARES ME, THAT'S ALL. IT JUST SCARES ME. ONE DAY YOU'RE LIVING NEXT DOOR 693 00:26:22,214 --> 00:26:23,925 IT JUST SCARES ME. ONE DAY YOU'RE LIVING NEXT DOOR TO ONE, AND THE NEXT DAY YOU ARE 694 00:26:23,949 --> 00:26:26,995 ONE DAY YOU'RE LIVING NEXT DOOR TO ONE, AND THE NEXT DAY YOU ARE WORKING FOR ONE. 695 00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:28,563 TO ONE, AND THE NEXT DAY YOU ARE WORKING FOR ONE. I'M SORRY, MOM, BUT I SPILLED 696 00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:29,898 WORKING FOR ONE. I'M SORRY, MOM, BUT I SPILLED THE MILK ON YOUR COUNTER. 697 00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:31,199 I'M SORRY, MOM, BUT I SPILLED THE MILK ON YOUR COUNTER. THE COUNTER THAT I JUST 698 00:26:31,223 --> 00:26:32,500 THE MILK ON YOUR COUNTER. THE COUNTER THAT I JUST CLEANED AND SHINED IN ONE 699 00:26:32,524 --> 00:26:33,001 THE COUNTER THAT I JUST CLEANED AND SHINED IN ONE MOTION? 700 00:26:33,025 --> 00:26:34,736 CLEANED AND SHINED IN ONE MOTION? GEE, MOM. 701 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,237 MOTION? GEE, MOM. HOLY CREEPERS! 702 00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:37,505 GEE, MOM. HOLY CREEPERS! I'LL GO CLEAN IT UP. 703 00:26:37,529 --> 00:26:39,107 HOLY CREEPERS! I'LL GO CLEAN IT UP. NO, NEVER MIND, SCOTTY. 704 00:26:39,131 --> 00:26:39,975 I'LL GO CLEAN IT UP. NO, NEVER MIND, SCOTTY. I'LL GET IT. 705 00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:41,143 NO, NEVER MIND, SCOTTY. I'LL GET IT. IT'S WOMAN'S WORK. 706 00:26:41,167 --> 00:26:43,578 I'LL GET IT. IT'S WOMAN'S WORK. THANK YOU, MOM. 707 00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,480 IT'S WOMAN'S WORK. THANK YOU, MOM. ONE DAY ONE'S GOVERNOR, NEXT 708 00:26:45,504 --> 00:26:47,315 THANK YOU, MOM. ONE DAY ONE'S GOVERNOR, NEXT DAY ONE'S PRESIDENT, NEXT DAY 709 00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:48,784 ONE DAY ONE'S GOVERNOR, NEXT DAY ONE'S PRESIDENT, NEXT DAY ONE'S BARBRA STREISAND. 710 00:26:48,808 --> 00:26:49,751 DAY ONE'S PRESIDENT, NEXT DAY ONE'S BARBRA STREISAND. I DON'T KNOW. 711 00:26:49,775 --> 00:26:51,186 ONE'S BARBRA STREISAND. I DON'T KNOW. OH, THANK GOODNESS. 712 00:26:51,210 --> 00:26:53,755 I DON'T KNOW. OH, THANK GOODNESS. THE SHINE IS STILL THERE. 713 00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:56,191 OH, THANK GOODNESS. THE SHINE IS STILL THERE. NOW, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING, DEAR? 714 00:26:56,215 --> 00:26:57,793 THE SHINE IS STILL THERE. NOW, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING, DEAR? I WAS SAYING THEY ARE TAKING 715 00:26:57,817 --> 00:26:58,226 NOW, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING, DEAR? I WAS SAYING THEY ARE TAKING OVER. 716 00:26:58,250 --> 00:26:59,594 I WAS SAYING THEY ARE TAKING OVER. I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING ALL 717 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:00,261 OVER. I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING ALL AROUND ME. 718 00:27:00,285 --> 00:27:01,462 I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING ALL AROUND ME. I KNOW. I'VE GOT EYES. 719 00:27:01,486 --> 00:27:04,532 AROUND ME. I KNOW. I'VE GOT EYES. I CAN SEE. 720 00:27:04,556 --> 00:27:05,801 I KNOW. I'VE GOT EYES. I CAN SEE. SCOTTY, WOULD YOU PASS THE 721 00:27:05,825 --> 00:27:07,769 I CAN SEE. SCOTTY, WOULD YOU PASS THE GRITS, PLEASE? 722 00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:10,233 SCOTTY, WOULD YOU PASS THE GRITS, PLEASE? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 723 00:27:24,341 --> 00:27:30,725 Announcer: AND NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH CHEVY CHASE. 724 00:27:30,749 --> 00:27:32,393 "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH CHEVY CHASE. NO. 725 00:27:32,417 --> 00:27:36,197 CHEVY CHASE. NO. I LOVE IT WHEN YOU MAKE NOISE. 726 00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:38,499 NO. I LOVE IT WHEN YOU MAKE NOISE. REMEMBER WHEN... I GOT TO GO. 727 00:27:38,523 --> 00:27:40,334 I LOVE IT WHEN YOU MAKE NOISE. REMEMBER WHEN... I GOT TO GO. GOOD EVENING. 728 00:27:40,358 --> 00:27:43,672 REMEMBER WHEN... I GOT TO GO. GOOD EVENING. I'M CHEVY CHASE, AND YOU'RE NOT. 729 00:27:43,696 --> 00:27:45,774 GOOD EVENING. I'M CHEVY CHASE, AND YOU'RE NOT. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... 730 00:27:45,798 --> 00:27:48,276 I'M CHEVY CHASE, AND YOU'RE NOT. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... GENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO 731 00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:52,280 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... GENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO IS STILL DEAD. 732 00:27:52,304 --> 00:27:53,882 GENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO IS STILL DEAD. IN AN IMPRESSIVE SHOW OF PARTY 733 00:27:53,906 --> 00:27:55,283 IS STILL DEAD. IN AN IMPRESSIVE SHOW OF PARTY STRENGTH AND UNITY, ALL 11 734 00:27:55,307 --> 00:27:56,918 IN AN IMPRESSIVE SHOW OF PARTY STRENGTH AND UNITY, ALL 11 ANNOUNCED DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES 735 00:27:56,942 --> 00:27:58,553 STRENGTH AND UNITY, ALL 11 ANNOUNCED DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION 736 00:27:58,577 --> 00:28:00,055 ANNOUNCED DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION MET IN WASHINGTON WITH THEIR 737 00:28:00,079 --> 00:28:01,556 FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION MET IN WASHINGTON WITH THEIR CAMPAIGN MANAGERS TO DISCUSS 738 00:28:01,580 --> 00:28:04,492 MET IN WASHINGTON WITH THEIR CAMPAIGN MANAGERS TO DISCUSS STRATEGY THIS WEEKEND. 739 00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:05,760 CAMPAIGN MANAGERS TO DISCUSS STRATEGY THIS WEEKEND. SECRETARY OF STATE 740 00:28:05,784 --> 00:28:07,562 STRATEGY THIS WEEKEND. SECRETARY OF STATE HENRY KISSINGER STATED TODAY 741 00:28:07,586 --> 00:28:09,397 SECRETARY OF STATE HENRY KISSINGER STATED TODAY THAT HE IS TIRED OF USING HIS 742 00:28:09,421 --> 00:28:11,365 HENRY KISSINGER STATED TODAY THAT HE IS TIRED OF USING HIS SILLY ACCENT IN PUBLIC AND WILL 743 00:28:11,389 --> 00:28:13,602 THAT HE IS TIRED OF USING HIS SILLY ACCENT IN PUBLIC AND WILL SPEAK IN ENGLISH. 744 00:28:13,626 --> 00:28:15,103 SILLY ACCENT IN PUBLIC AND WILL SPEAK IN ENGLISH. THIS WILL IN NO WAY AFFECT THE 745 00:28:15,127 --> 00:28:16,504 SPEAK IN ENGLISH. THIS WILL IN NO WAY AFFECT THE CONTENT OF WHAT HE HAS BEEN 746 00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:17,171 THIS WILL IN NO WAY AFFECT THE CONTENT OF WHAT HE HAS BEEN SAYING. 747 00:28:17,195 --> 00:28:18,573 CONTENT OF WHAT HE HAS BEEN SAYING. ALSO ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, 748 00:28:18,597 --> 00:28:19,975 SAYING. ALSO ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, RONALD REAGAN STATED THAT IT 749 00:28:19,999 --> 00:28:21,509 ALSO ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, RONALD REAGAN STATED THAT IT CERTAINLY DOESN'T SEEM ASININE 750 00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:22,711 RONALD REAGAN STATED THAT IT CERTAINLY DOESN'T SEEM ASININE TO HIM THAT AN AMERICAN 751 00:28:22,735 --> 00:28:24,012 CERTAINLY DOESN'T SEEM ASININE TO HIM THAT AN AMERICAN PRESIDENT COULD ONCE HAVE 752 00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,313 TO HIM THAT AN AMERICAN PRESIDENT COULD ONCE HAVE STARRED IN A MOVIE CALLED 753 00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:29,784 PRESIDENT COULD ONCE HAVE STARRED IN A MOVIE CALLED "BEDTIME FOR BONZO." 754 00:28:29,808 --> 00:28:31,552 STARRED IN A MOVIE CALLED "BEDTIME FOR BONZO." THE CIA HAS ADMITTED THAT IT 755 00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:33,421 "BEDTIME FOR BONZO." THE CIA HAS ADMITTED THAT IT ATTEMPTED TO ASSASSINATE CUBAN 756 00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:35,356 THE CIA HAS ADMITTED THAT IT ATTEMPTED TO ASSASSINATE CUBAN LEADER FIDEL CASTRO BY ACTUALLY 757 00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:37,358 ATTEMPTED TO ASSASSINATE CUBAN LEADER FIDEL CASTRO BY ACTUALLY INFILTRATING HIS BEARD WITH VERY 758 00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,227 LEADER FIDEL CASTRO BY ACTUALLY INFILTRATING HIS BEARD WITH VERY SMALL COMMANDOS AND SETTING IT 759 00:28:39,251 --> 00:28:40,929 INFILTRATING HIS BEARD WITH VERY SMALL COMMANDOS AND SETTING IT ON FIRE. 760 00:28:40,953 --> 00:28:42,430 SMALL COMMANDOS AND SETTING IT ON FIRE. WILLIAM COLBY, HOWEVER, SAYS 761 00:28:42,454 --> 00:28:44,032 ON FIRE. WILLIAM COLBY, HOWEVER, SAYS THAT THE STORY IS A RIDICULOUS 762 00:28:44,056 --> 00:28:45,734 WILLIAM COLBY, HOWEVER, SAYS THAT THE STORY IS A RIDICULOUS LIE AND THAT THE ARMY HAS NOT AS 763 00:28:45,758 --> 00:28:47,201 THAT THE STORY IS A RIDICULOUS LIE AND THAT THE ARMY HAS NOT AS YET EVEN PERFECTED THE TINY 764 00:28:47,225 --> 00:28:48,703 LIE AND THAT THE ARMY HAS NOT AS YET EVEN PERFECTED THE TINY FLAMETHROWERS NEEDED FOR THE 765 00:28:48,727 --> 00:28:50,905 YET EVEN PERFECTED THE TINY FLAMETHROWERS NEEDED FOR THE JOB. 766 00:28:50,929 --> 00:28:52,774 FLAMETHROWERS NEEDED FOR THE JOB. IN SPITE OF RECENT ALLEGATIONS 767 00:28:52,798 --> 00:28:54,643 JOB. IN SPITE OF RECENT ALLEGATIONS OF RAMPANT HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITY 768 00:28:54,667 --> 00:28:56,577 IN SPITE OF RECENT ALLEGATIONS OF RAMPANT HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITY IN THE PROFESSIONAL SPORTS WORLD 769 00:28:56,601 --> 00:28:58,446 OF RAMPANT HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITY IN THE PROFESSIONAL SPORTS WORLD FROM HOCKEY TO HARNESS RACING, 770 00:28:58,470 --> 00:29:00,381 IN THE PROFESSIONAL SPORTS WORLD FROM HOCKEY TO HARNESS RACING, MANY TEAM OWNERS AND EXECUTIVES 771 00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:02,017 FROM HOCKEY TO HARNESS RACING, MANY TEAM OWNERS AND EXECUTIVES DENY THE EXISTENCE OF SUCH 772 00:29:02,041 --> 00:29:02,751 MANY TEAM OWNERS AND EXECUTIVES DENY THE EXISTENCE OF SUCH PRACTICES. 773 00:29:02,775 --> 00:29:04,152 DENY THE EXISTENCE OF SUCH PRACTICES. COMMISSIONER OF BASEBALL 774 00:29:04,176 --> 00:29:05,520 PRACTICES. COMMISSIONER OF BASEBALL BOWIE KUHN AND NFL HEAD 775 00:29:05,544 --> 00:29:06,988 COMMISSIONER OF BASEBALL BOWIE KUHN AND NFL HEAD PETE ROZELLE COULD NOT BE 776 00:29:07,012 --> 00:29:08,823 BOWIE KUHN AND NFL HEAD PETE ROZELLE COULD NOT BE REACHED FOR COMMENT THIS WEEKEND 777 00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:10,324 PETE ROZELLE COULD NOT BE REACHED FOR COMMENT THIS WEEKEND IN THE BRIDAL SUITE AT THE 778 00:29:10,348 --> 00:29:12,226 REACHED FOR COMMENT THIS WEEKEND IN THE BRIDAL SUITE AT THE AMERICANA HOTEL. 779 00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:15,463 IN THE BRIDAL SUITE AT THE AMERICANA HOTEL. [LAUGHTER] 780 00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:16,831 AMERICANA HOTEL. [LAUGHTER] IN A RELATED STORY, THE 781 00:29:16,855 --> 00:29:18,533 [LAUGHTER] IN A RELATED STORY, THE PRESIDENT OF THE GAY ACTIVISTS 782 00:29:18,557 --> 00:29:20,135 IN A RELATED STORY, THE PRESIDENT OF THE GAY ACTIVISTS ALLIANCE DECLINED COMMENT ON 783 00:29:20,159 --> 00:29:21,402 PRESIDENT OF THE GAY ACTIVISTS ALLIANCE DECLINED COMMENT ON REPORTS OF WIDESPREAD 784 00:29:21,426 --> 00:29:22,804 ALLIANCE DECLINED COMMENT ON REPORTS OF WIDESPREAD HOMOSEXUALITY WITHIN HIS 785 00:29:22,828 --> 00:29:25,740 REPORTS OF WIDESPREAD HOMOSEXUALITY WITHIN HIS ORGANIZATION. 786 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:27,142 HOMOSEXUALITY WITHIN HIS ORGANIZATION. IN A SPEECH TO THE ATHENS, 787 00:29:27,166 --> 00:29:28,643 ORGANIZATION. IN A SPEECH TO THE ATHENS, GEORGIA, CHAMBER OF COMMERCE 788 00:29:28,667 --> 00:29:29,944 IN A SPEECH TO THE ATHENS, GEORGIA, CHAMBER OF COMMERCE YESTERDAY, PRESIDENTIAL 789 00:29:29,968 --> 00:29:31,546 GEORGIA, CHAMBER OF COMMERCE YESTERDAY, PRESIDENTIAL CONTENDER GEORGE WALLACE SAID, 790 00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:33,114 YESTERDAY, PRESIDENTIAL CONTENDER GEORGE WALLACE SAID, "I DON'T JUDGE A MAN ACCORDING 791 00:29:33,138 --> 00:29:34,482 CONTENDER GEORGE WALLACE SAID, "I DON'T JUDGE A MAN ACCORDING TO THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN. 792 00:29:34,506 --> 00:29:35,984 "I DON'T JUDGE A MAN ACCORDING TO THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN. I JUDGE HIM ACCORDING TO HOW 793 00:29:36,008 --> 00:29:37,686 TO THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN. I JUDGE HIM ACCORDING TO HOW WELL YOU CAN SEE HIM IN THE DARK 794 00:29:37,710 --> 00:29:39,187 I JUDGE HIM ACCORDING TO HOW WELL YOU CAN SEE HIM IN THE DARK WHEN HE SMILES." 795 00:29:39,211 --> 00:29:42,390 WELL YOU CAN SEE HIM IN THE DARK WHEN HE SMILES." [LAUGHTER] 796 00:29:42,414 --> 00:29:43,725 WHEN HE SMILES." [LAUGHTER] AT A PRESS CONFERENCE THIS 797 00:29:43,749 --> 00:29:45,060 [LAUGHTER] AT A PRESS CONFERENCE THIS AFTERNOON, PRESIDENT FORD 798 00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:46,561 AT A PRESS CONFERENCE THIS AFTERNOON, PRESIDENT FORD DEMONSTRATED HOW HE LEARNED TO 799 00:29:46,585 --> 00:29:48,129 AFTERNOON, PRESIDENT FORD DEMONSTRATED HOW HE LEARNED TO REMOVE FOOD FROM HIS MOUTH WITH 800 00:29:48,153 --> 00:29:49,664 DEMONSTRATED HOW HE LEARNED TO REMOVE FOOD FROM HIS MOUTH WITH CHOPSTICKS ON HIS RECENT VISIT 801 00:29:49,688 --> 00:29:50,999 REMOVE FOOD FROM HIS MOUTH WITH CHOPSTICKS ON HIS RECENT VISIT TO CHINA. 802 00:29:51,023 --> 00:29:52,633 CHOPSTICKS ON HIS RECENT VISIT TO CHINA. TOY BOAT. 803 00:29:52,657 --> 00:29:54,069 TO CHINA. TOY BOAT. ONE FIRST FAMILY MEMBER WHO 804 00:29:54,093 --> 00:29:55,403 TOY BOAT. ONE FIRST FAMILY MEMBER WHO DIDN'T GO, JACK FORD, THE 805 00:29:55,427 --> 00:29:56,805 ONE FIRST FAMILY MEMBER WHO DIDN'T GO, JACK FORD, THE PRESIDENT'S SON, RECEIVED A 806 00:29:56,829 --> 00:29:58,439 DIDN'T GO, JACK FORD, THE PRESIDENT'S SON, RECEIVED A PICTURE POSTCARD FROM HIS FATHER 807 00:29:58,463 --> 00:29:59,373 PRESIDENT'S SON, RECEIVED A PICTURE POSTCARD FROM HIS FATHER DURING THE TRIP. 808 00:29:59,397 --> 00:30:00,975 PICTURE POSTCARD FROM HIS FATHER DURING THE TRIP. THE CARD READ SIMPLY, "HAVING A 809 00:30:00,999 --> 00:30:01,876 DURING THE TRIP. THE CARD READ SIMPLY, "HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME. 810 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:05,013 THE CARD READ SIMPLY, "HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME. WHERE AM I?" 811 00:30:05,037 --> 00:30:06,915 WONDERFUL TIME. WHERE AM I?" WELL, CELEBRITIES SONNY AND CHER 812 00:30:06,939 --> 00:30:08,516 WHERE AM I?" WELL, CELEBRITIES SONNY AND CHER HAVE TEAMED UP AGAIN TO DO 813 00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:10,284 WELL, CELEBRITIES SONNY AND CHER HAVE TEAMED UP AGAIN TO DO ANOTHER TRAGEDY VARIETY SHOW. 814 00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:12,053 HAVE TEAMED UP AGAIN TO DO ANOTHER TRAGEDY VARIETY SHOW. CHER NOW SAYS HER MARRIAGE TO 815 00:30:12,077 --> 00:30:13,955 ANOTHER TRAGEDY VARIETY SHOW. CHER NOW SAYS HER MARRIAGE TO ROCK STAR GREGG ALLMAN WAS ALL A 816 00:30:13,979 --> 00:30:15,757 CHER NOW SAYS HER MARRIAGE TO ROCK STAR GREGG ALLMAN WAS ALL A HARMLESS JOKE AND THAT SHE AND 817 00:30:15,781 --> 00:30:17,425 ROCK STAR GREGG ALLMAN WAS ALL A HARMLESS JOKE AND THAT SHE AND SONNY STILL LOVE EACH OTHER 818 00:30:17,449 --> 00:30:20,261 HARMLESS JOKE AND THAT SHE AND SONNY STILL LOVE EACH OTHER DEEPLY FOR AT LEAST TWO SEASONS. 819 00:30:20,285 --> 00:30:21,796 SONNY STILL LOVE EACH OTHER DEEPLY FOR AT LEAST TWO SEASONS. A TENTATIVE POSSIBLE TITLE FOR 820 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,098 DEEPLY FOR AT LEAST TWO SEASONS. A TENTATIVE POSSIBLE TITLE FOR THE SHOW IS "THE PRICE IS 821 00:30:23,122 --> 00:30:24,733 A TENTATIVE POSSIBLE TITLE FOR THE SHOW IS "THE PRICE IS RIGHT." 822 00:30:24,757 --> 00:30:26,167 THE SHOW IS "THE PRICE IS RIGHT." THE AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS 823 00:30:26,191 --> 00:30:27,635 RIGHT." THE AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS BENEVOLENT ASSOCIATION TODAY 824 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:29,303 THE AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS BENEVOLENT ASSOCIATION TODAY ISSUED A STATEMENT CLAIMING THAT 825 00:30:29,327 --> 00:30:30,939 BENEVOLENT ASSOCIATION TODAY ISSUED A STATEMENT CLAIMING THAT THE NEAR-COLLISION LAST WEEK OF 826 00:30:30,963 --> 00:30:32,440 ISSUED A STATEMENT CLAIMING THAT THE NEAR-COLLISION LAST WEEK OF A TWA AND UNITED AIRLINES JET 827 00:30:32,464 --> 00:30:33,842 THE NEAR-COLLISION LAST WEEK OF A TWA AND UNITED AIRLINES JET WAS SIMPLY AN ATTEMPT AT A 828 00:30:33,866 --> 00:30:37,678 A TWA AND UNITED AIRLINES JET WAS SIMPLY AN ATTEMPT AT A MERGER OF THE TWO AIRLINES. 829 00:30:37,702 --> 00:30:39,180 WAS SIMPLY AN ATTEMPT AT A MERGER OF THE TWO AIRLINES. OLD SNAKE EYES IS BACK. 830 00:30:39,204 --> 00:30:40,982 MERGER OF THE TWO AIRLINES. OLD SNAKE EYES IS BACK. J. EDGAR HOOVER, FORMER FBI 831 00:30:41,006 --> 00:30:42,784 OLD SNAKE EYES IS BACK. J. EDGAR HOOVER, FORMER FBI CHIEF, IS THE SUBJECT OF NEXT 832 00:30:42,808 --> 00:30:44,753 J. EDGAR HOOVER, FORMER FBI CHIEF, IS THE SUBJECT OF NEXT WEEK'S TIME MAGAZINE COVER STORY 833 00:30:44,777 --> 00:30:46,254 CHIEF, IS THE SUBJECT OF NEXT WEEK'S TIME MAGAZINE COVER STORY ENTITLED, "THE TRUTH OF 834 00:30:46,278 --> 00:30:47,521 WEEK'S TIME MAGAZINE COVER STORY ENTITLED, "THE TRUTH OF J. EDGAR HOOVER." 835 00:30:47,545 --> 00:30:49,457 ENTITLED, "THE TRUTH OF J. EDGAR HOOVER." IT'S THE FIRST ONE-PAGE EDITION 836 00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:52,127 J. EDGAR HOOVER." IT'S THE FIRST ONE-PAGE EDITION IN THE MAGAZINE'S HISTORY. 837 00:30:52,151 --> 00:30:53,895 IT'S THE FIRST ONE-PAGE EDITION IN THE MAGAZINE'S HISTORY. WELL, IT IS RUMORED THAT THE 838 00:30:53,919 --> 00:30:55,830 IN THE MAGAZINE'S HISTORY. WELL, IT IS RUMORED THAT THE POPE WILL FLY TO SUNNY SOUTHERN 839 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:57,732 WELL, IT IS RUMORED THAT THE POPE WILL FLY TO SUNNY SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA TO VISIT WITH FORMER 840 00:30:57,756 --> 00:30:59,500 POPE WILL FLY TO SUNNY SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA TO VISIT WITH FORMER PRESIDENT NIXON AND EXCHANGE 841 00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:00,869 CALIFORNIA TO VISIT WITH FORMER PRESIDENT NIXON AND EXCHANGE GIFTS. 842 00:31:00,893 --> 00:31:02,771 PRESIDENT NIXON AND EXCHANGE GIFTS. STILL TO COME, SECRET SERVICE 843 00:31:02,795 --> 00:31:04,705 GIFTS. STILL TO COME, SECRET SERVICE AGENTS TRAIN FOR GERALD FORD'S 844 00:31:04,729 --> 00:31:06,540 STILL TO COME, SECRET SERVICE AGENTS TRAIN FOR GERALD FORD'S VAIL, COLORADO, SKI VACATION 845 00:31:06,564 --> 00:31:09,924 AGENTS TRAIN FOR GERALD FORD'S VAIL, COLORADO, SKI VACATION AFTER THIS FILMED MESSAGE. 846 00:31:11,602 --> 00:31:16,984 YOU'VE JUST HAD A HEAVY SESSION OF ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY, AND YOU'RE MORE RELAXED THAN 847 00:31:17,008 --> 00:31:18,386 SESSION OF ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY, AND YOU'RE MORE RELAXED THAN YOU'VE BEEN IN WEEKS. 848 00:31:18,410 --> 00:31:20,821 AND YOU'RE MORE RELAXED THAN YOU'VE BEEN IN WEEKS. ALL THOSE CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS 849 00:31:20,845 --> 00:31:23,624 YOU'VE BEEN IN WEEKS. ALL THOSE CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS MAGICALLY WIPED AWAY, ALONG WITH 850 00:31:23,648 --> 00:31:25,893 ALL THOSE CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS MAGICALLY WIPED AWAY, ALONG WITH MOST OF YOUR PERSONALITY. 851 00:31:25,917 --> 00:31:28,063 MAGICALLY WIPED AWAY, ALONG WITH MOST OF YOUR PERSONALITY. NOW IS THE TIME... TIME FOR 852 00:31:28,087 --> 00:31:28,729 MOST OF YOUR PERSONALITY. NOW IS THE TIME... TIME FOR SPUD. 853 00:31:28,753 --> 00:31:29,864 NOW IS THE TIME... TIME FOR SPUD. ♪ OHHHHH, SPUD ♪ 854 00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:31,433 SPUD. ♪ OHHHHH, SPUD ♪ FILLED WITH THE FULL, RICH 855 00:31:31,457 --> 00:31:33,668 ♪ OHHHHH, SPUD ♪ FILLED WITH THE FULL, RICH FLAVOR OF POTATOES. 856 00:31:33,692 --> 00:31:35,537 FILLED WITH THE FULL, RICH FLAVOR OF POTATOES. SPUD... THE BEER BREWED FOR 857 00:31:35,561 --> 00:31:37,372 FLAVOR OF POTATOES. SPUD... THE BEER BREWED FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T TASTE THE 858 00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:38,306 SPUD... THE BEER BREWED FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN'T TASTE THE DIFFERENCE. 859 00:31:38,330 --> 00:31:41,142 PEOPLE WHO CAN'T TASTE THE DIFFERENCE. ♪ WHEN YOU SAY SPUD ♪ 860 00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:43,445 DIFFERENCE. ♪ WHEN YOU SAY SPUD ♪ ♪ JUST PUT YOUR MIND ON HOLD ♪ 861 00:31:43,469 --> 00:31:45,313 ♪ WHEN YOU SAY SPUD ♪ ♪ JUST PUT YOUR MIND ON HOLD ♪ ♪ DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD ♪ 862 00:31:45,337 --> 00:31:49,016 ♪ JUST PUT YOUR MIND ON HOLD ♪ ♪ DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD ♪ ♪ AND OPEN A COLD, REFRESHING 863 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,318 ♪ DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD ♪ ♪ AND OPEN A COLD, REFRESHING SPUD ♪ 864 00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:52,620 ♪ AND OPEN A COLD, REFRESHING SPUD ♪ ♪ JUST WATCH YOUR LIFE GO BY ♪ 865 00:31:52,644 --> 00:31:54,989 SPUD ♪ ♪ JUST WATCH YOUR LIFE GO BY ♪ ♪ NO NEED TO TRY ♪ 866 00:31:55,013 --> 00:32:02,330 ♪ JUST WATCH YOUR LIFE GO BY ♪ ♪ NO NEED TO TRY ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU'VE GOT SPUD ♪ 867 00:32:02,354 --> 00:32:04,687 ♪ NO NEED TO TRY ♪ ♪ WHEN YOU'VE GOT SPUD ♪ ♪ OHHHHH, SPUD ♪ 868 00:32:04,955 --> 00:32:06,756 SPUD... THE BEER THAT MADE 869 00:32:06,890 --> 00:32:08,691 BOISE FAMOUS. 870 00:32:13,364 --> 00:32:19,714 ♪ WHEN YOU SAY... ♪ [LAUGHTER] "WEEKEND UPDATE" RECOGNIZES ITS 871 00:32:19,738 --> 00:32:20,949 [LAUGHTER] "WEEKEND UPDATE" RECOGNIZES ITS OBLIGATION TO PRESENT 872 00:32:20,973 --> 00:32:22,717 "WEEKEND UPDATE" RECOGNIZES ITS OBLIGATION TO PRESENT RESPONSIBLE OPPOSING VIEWPOINTS 873 00:32:22,741 --> 00:32:24,052 OBLIGATION TO PRESENT RESPONSIBLE OPPOSING VIEWPOINTS TO OUR EDITORIALS. 874 00:32:24,076 --> 00:32:25,820 RESPONSIBLE OPPOSING VIEWPOINTS TO OUR EDITORIALS. HERE TO REPLY TO A RECENT 875 00:32:25,844 --> 00:32:29,045 TO OUR EDITORIALS. HERE TO REPLY TO A RECENT EDITORIAL IS MISS EMILY LITELLA. 876 00:32:29,313 --> 00:32:31,348 I'M HERE TONIGHT TO SPEAK OUT 877 00:32:31,482 --> 00:32:36,319 AGAINST BUSTING SCHOOLCHILDREN. 878 00:32:36,453 --> 00:32:39,055 BUSTING SCHOOLCHILDREN IS A 879 00:32:39,190 --> 00:32:41,624 TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE THING. 880 00:32:41,759 --> 00:32:44,794 I HEAR THIS IS GOING ON ALL OVER 881 00:32:44,929 --> 00:32:45,929 THE COUNTRY. 882 00:32:46,030 --> 00:32:48,064 MEAN POLICEMEN ARREST LITTLE 883 00:32:48,199 --> 00:32:50,466 CHILDREN AND PUT THEM IN JAIL IN 884 00:32:50,601 --> 00:32:52,869 THE WRONG NEIGHBORHOODS, SO THEY 885 00:32:53,004 --> 00:32:54,905 CAN'T EVEN PLAY WITH THEIR 886 00:32:55,039 --> 00:32:56,439 LITTLE FRIENDS. 887 00:32:56,707 --> 00:33:04,707 IMAGINE, BUSTING SCHOOLCHILDREN! THE FOOD IN JAIL ISN'T GOOD, AND EVEN THOUGH THEY GET BREAD, I 888 00:33:06,184 --> 00:33:08,696 THE FOOD IN JAIL ISN'T GOOD, AND EVEN THOUGH THEY GET BREAD, I DON'T BELIEVE THEY CAN GET 889 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,366 EVEN THOUGH THEY GET BREAD, I DON'T BELIEVE THEY CAN GET TOAST... 890 00:33:11,390 --> 00:33:13,034 DON'T BELIEVE THEY CAN GET TOAST... OR NICE CAKE. 891 00:33:13,058 --> 00:33:16,137 TOAST... OR NICE CAKE. NOW, WHO WILL TUCK THEM IN? 892 00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:17,772 OR NICE CAKE. NOW, WHO WILL TUCK THEM IN? WHERE WILL THEY HANG THEIR 893 00:33:17,796 --> 00:33:18,539 NOW, WHO WILL TUCK THEM IN? WHERE WILL THEY HANG THEIR LEGGINGS? 894 00:33:18,563 --> 00:33:20,275 WHERE WILL THEY HANG THEIR LEGGINGS? WHERE WILL THEY SET UP THEIR 895 00:33:20,299 --> 00:33:21,910 LEGGINGS? WHERE WILL THEY SET UP THEIR LITTLE LEMONADE STANDS? 896 00:33:21,934 --> 00:33:23,912 WHERE WILL THEY SET UP THEIR LITTLE LEMONADE STANDS? WELL, THEY DON'T HAVE TOYS IN 897 00:33:23,936 --> 00:33:25,880 LITTLE LEMONADE STANDS? WELL, THEY DON'T HAVE TOYS IN JAIL EXCEPT MAYBE "TINY TEARS" 898 00:33:25,904 --> 00:33:26,514 WELL, THEY DON'T HAVE TOYS IN JAIL EXCEPT MAYBE "TINY TEARS" DOLLS. 899 00:33:26,538 --> 00:33:28,249 JAIL EXCEPT MAYBE "TINY TEARS" DOLLS. AND DID YOU KNOW THEY HAVE 900 00:33:28,273 --> 00:33:30,151 DOLLS. AND DID YOU KNOW THEY HAVE LITTLE HOLES IN THEIR BOTTOMS 901 00:33:30,175 --> 00:33:31,685 AND DID YOU KNOW THEY HAVE LITTLE HOLES IN THEIR BOTTOMS THERE, THE TINY TEARS? 902 00:33:31,709 --> 00:33:33,388 LITTLE HOLES IN THEIR BOTTOMS THERE, THE TINY TEARS? AND YOU CAN... WHERE WILL 903 00:33:33,412 --> 00:33:34,055 THERE, THE TINY TEARS? AND YOU CAN... WHERE WILL THEY... 904 00:33:34,079 --> 00:33:35,290 AND YOU CAN... WHERE WILL THEY... MISS LITELLA? 905 00:33:35,314 --> 00:33:37,025 THEY... MISS LITELLA? EXCUSE ME, MISS LITELLA? 906 00:33:37,049 --> 00:33:37,758 MISS LITELLA? EXCUSE ME, MISS LITELLA? YES? 907 00:33:37,782 --> 00:33:38,826 EXCUSE ME, MISS LITELLA? YES? I'M SORRY. 908 00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:40,728 YES? I'M SORRY. THE EDITORIAL WAS ON BUSING 909 00:33:40,752 --> 00:33:42,397 I'M SORRY. THE EDITORIAL WAS ON BUSING SCHOOLCHILDREN, BUSING. 910 00:33:42,421 --> 00:33:43,097 THE EDITORIAL WAS ON BUSING SCHOOLCHILDREN, BUSING. BUSING. 911 00:33:43,121 --> 00:33:43,764 SCHOOLCHILDREN, BUSING. BUSING. OH. 912 00:33:43,788 --> 00:33:46,467 BUSING. OH. NOT BUSTING. 913 00:33:46,491 --> 00:33:48,869 OH. NOT BUSTING. I'M SORRY. 914 00:33:48,893 --> 00:33:50,738 NOT BUSTING. I'M SORRY. NEVER MIND. 915 00:33:50,762 --> 00:33:52,695 I'M SORRY. NEVER MIND. [LAUGHTER] 916 00:33:58,769 --> 00:34:03,851 UNICEF FELL UNDER ATTACK THIS WEEK WHEN SYRIA FORMALLY PROTESTED THE CHARITY'S NEW 917 00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:05,853 WEEK WHEN SYRIA FORMALLY PROTESTED THE CHARITY'S NEW CHRISTMAS CARD, WHICH SAYS IN 10 918 00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:07,822 PROTESTED THE CHARITY'S NEW CHRISTMAS CARD, WHICH SAYS IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES, "LET'S KILL 919 00:34:07,846 --> 00:34:09,857 CHRISTMAS CARD, WHICH SAYS IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES, "LET'S KILL THE ARABS AND TAKE THEIR OIL!" 920 00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:13,361 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES, "LET'S KILL THE ARABS AND TAKE THEIR OIL!" [LAUGHTER] 921 00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:14,762 THE ARABS AND TAKE THEIR OIL!" [LAUGHTER] SPIRO AGNEW'S EAGERLY AWAITED 922 00:34:14,786 --> 00:34:16,230 [LAUGHTER] SPIRO AGNEW'S EAGERLY AWAITED FIRST NOVEL ENTITLED "LET'S PUT 923 00:34:16,254 --> 00:34:17,598 SPIRO AGNEW'S EAGERLY AWAITED FIRST NOVEL ENTITLED "LET'S PUT THE 'VICE' BACK INTO THE VICE 924 00:34:17,622 --> 00:34:19,000 FIRST NOVEL ENTITLED "LET'S PUT THE 'VICE' BACK INTO THE VICE PRESIDENCY" WILL BE PUBLISHED 925 00:34:19,024 --> 00:34:20,268 THE 'VICE' BACK INTO THE VICE PRESIDENCY" WILL BE PUBLISHED NEXT SPRING BY DREADNAUGHT 926 00:34:20,292 --> 00:34:20,701 PRESIDENCY" WILL BE PUBLISHED NEXT SPRING BY DREADNAUGHT PRESS. 927 00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:21,902 NEXT SPRING BY DREADNAUGHT PRESS. THE WORK WILL BYPASS THE 928 00:34:21,926 --> 00:34:23,104 PRESS. THE WORK WILL BYPASS THE TRADITIONAL HARDCOVER AND 929 00:34:23,128 --> 00:34:24,538 THE WORK WILL BYPASS THE TRADITIONAL HARDCOVER AND PAPERBACK EDITIONS AND WILL GO 930 00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:25,974 TRADITIONAL HARDCOVER AND PAPERBACK EDITIONS AND WILL GO DIRECTLY TO AN EDITION PRINTED 931 00:34:25,998 --> 00:34:28,676 PAPERBACK EDITIONS AND WILL GO DIRECTLY TO AN EDITION PRINTED ON CONFETTI. 932 00:34:28,700 --> 00:34:30,278 DIRECTLY TO AN EDITION PRINTED ON CONFETTI. OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT... 933 00:34:30,302 --> 00:34:31,980 ON CONFETTI. OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT... FRANK SINATRA CELEBRATED HIS 934 00:34:32,004 --> 00:34:33,781 OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT... FRANK SINATRA CELEBRATED HIS 60th BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK WITH A 935 00:34:33,805 --> 00:34:35,583 FRANK SINATRA CELEBRATED HIS 60th BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK WITH A PARTY ABOARD HIS LUXURY YACHT, 936 00:34:35,607 --> 00:34:36,517 60th BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK WITH A PARTY ABOARD HIS LUXURY YACHT, THE S.S. HOBOKEN. 937 00:34:36,541 --> 00:34:38,052 PARTY ABOARD HIS LUXURY YACHT, THE S.S. HOBOKEN. ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... A MINOR 938 00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:39,753 THE S.S. HOBOKEN. ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... A MINOR ACCIDENT OCCURRED WHEN THE YACHT 939 00:34:39,777 --> 00:34:41,389 ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... A MINOR ACCIDENT OCCURRED WHEN THE YACHT STRUCK AN AUTOGRAPH SEEKER WHO 940 00:34:41,413 --> 00:34:42,623 ACCIDENT OCCURRED WHEN THE YACHT STRUCK AN AUTOGRAPH SEEKER WHO WAS SWIMMING TOWARD IT. 941 00:34:42,647 --> 00:34:44,225 STRUCK AN AUTOGRAPH SEEKER WHO WAS SWIMMING TOWARD IT. ALWAYS THE JOKER, OL' BLUE EYES 942 00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:45,793 WAS SWIMMING TOWARD IT. ALWAYS THE JOKER, OL' BLUE EYES CHUCKLED LATER, "WELL, I GUESS 943 00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:47,395 ALWAYS THE JOKER, OL' BLUE EYES CHUCKLED LATER, "WELL, I GUESS IT'S SIMPLY ANOTHER CASE OF THE 944 00:34:47,419 --> 00:34:51,466 CHUCKLED LATER, "WELL, I GUESS IT'S SIMPLY ANOTHER CASE OF THE SHIP HITTING THE FAN." 945 00:34:51,490 --> 00:34:52,800 IT'S SIMPLY ANOTHER CASE OF THE SHIP HITTING THE FAN." NO DAMAGE TO THE YACHT. 946 00:34:52,824 --> 00:34:54,102 SHIP HITTING THE FAN." NO DAMAGE TO THE YACHT. THE SWIMMER WAS KILLED 947 00:34:54,126 --> 00:34:55,969 NO DAMAGE TO THE YACHT. THE SWIMMER WAS KILLED INSTANTLY. 948 00:34:55,993 --> 00:34:57,293 AND NOW AS A PUBLIC SERVICE TO 949 00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:58,661 THOSE OF OUR VIEWERS WHO HAVE 950 00:34:58,795 --> 00:35:00,163 DIFFICULTY WITH THEIR HEARING, I 951 00:35:00,297 --> 00:35:01,664 WILL REPEAT THE TOP STORY OF THE 952 00:35:01,798 --> 00:35:03,133 DAY, AIDED BY THE HEADMASTER OF 953 00:35:03,267 --> 00:35:04,434 THE NEW YORK SCHOOL FOR THE 954 00:35:04,568 --> 00:35:05,301 HARD-OF-HEARING, 955 00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:09,539 GARRETT MORRIS. 956 00:35:09,673 --> 00:35:11,041 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... 957 00:35:11,175 --> 00:35:13,443 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... 958 00:35:13,577 --> 00:35:16,079 GENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO 959 00:35:16,213 --> 00:35:17,213 IS STILL DEAD! 960 00:35:17,248 --> 00:35:18,281 GOOD NIGHT... 961 00:35:18,416 --> 00:35:19,949 GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A 962 00:35:20,084 --> 00:35:22,218 PLEASANT TOMORROW! 963 00:35:22,353 --> 00:35:24,154 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 964 00:35:31,028 --> 00:35:36,010 ALL RIGHT, MA'AM, NOW, IS THIS THE MAN WHO TOOK YOUR PURSE? 965 00:35:36,034 --> 00:35:38,145 THIS THE MAN WHO TOOK YOUR PURSE? OH, I'M NOT QUITE SURE IF 966 00:35:38,169 --> 00:35:39,080 PURSE? OH, I'M NOT QUITE SURE IF IT'S HIM. 967 00:35:39,104 --> 00:35:41,638 OH, I'M NOT QUITE SURE IF IT'S HIM. COULD YOU OPEN THE ICEBOX? 968 00:35:53,217 --> 00:35:56,764 EVENING, MAJOR. TEAM ONE IS MIGHTY GLAD YOU WERE SELECTED FOR THIS MISSION. 969 00:35:56,788 --> 00:35:57,732 TEAM ONE IS MIGHTY GLAD YOU WERE SELECTED FOR THIS MISSION. THANK YOU, SIR. 970 00:35:57,756 --> 00:35:59,100 SELECTED FOR THIS MISSION. THANK YOU, SIR. YOU DID A BEAUTIFUL JOB OF 971 00:35:59,124 --> 00:36:00,168 THANK YOU, SIR. YOU DID A BEAUTIFUL JOB OF CLEANING UP PARAGUAY. 972 00:36:00,192 --> 00:36:01,836 YOU DID A BEAUTIFUL JOB OF CLEANING UP PARAGUAY. OKAY, WHILE IN THE UKRAINE, 973 00:36:01,860 --> 00:36:03,571 CLEANING UP PARAGUAY. OKAY, WHILE IN THE UKRAINE, YOU'LL BE USING THE FOLLOWING 974 00:36:03,595 --> 00:36:04,138 OKAY, WHILE IN THE UKRAINE, YOU'LL BE USING THE FOLLOWING ITEMS. 975 00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:05,539 YOU'LL BE USING THE FOLLOWING ITEMS. THIS IS A LASER-GUIDED 976 00:36:05,563 --> 00:36:06,774 ITEMS. THIS IS A LASER-GUIDED ELECTRONIC GAFF HOOK. 977 00:36:06,798 --> 00:36:08,576 THIS IS A LASER-GUIDED ELECTRONIC GAFF HOOK. THIS WILL HELP... THIS WILL HELP 978 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,144 ELECTRONIC GAFF HOOK. THIS WILL HELP... THIS WILL HELP YOU GET OVER THE FUEL DUMP'S 979 00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:11,579 THIS WILL HELP... THIS WILL HELP YOU GET OVER THE FUEL DUMP'S ELECTRIC FENCE PERIMETER. 980 00:36:11,603 --> 00:36:13,314 YOU GET OVER THE FUEL DUMP'S ELECTRIC FENCE PERIMETER. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SOFTWARE ITEM. 981 00:36:13,338 --> 00:36:14,882 ELECTRIC FENCE PERIMETER. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SOFTWARE ITEM. THIS IS THE DIGISPAN TARGET 982 00:36:14,906 --> 00:36:16,550 IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SOFTWARE ITEM. THIS IS THE DIGISPAN TARGET FIGHTER, TEAM LAB ONE'S NEWEST 983 00:36:16,574 --> 00:36:18,252 THIS IS THE DIGISPAN TARGET FIGHTER, TEAM LAB ONE'S NEWEST PIECE OF PERSONNEL ELIMINATION 984 00:36:18,276 --> 00:36:18,986 FIGHTER, TEAM LAB ONE'S NEWEST PIECE OF PERSONNEL ELIMINATION EQUIPMENT. 985 00:36:19,010 --> 00:36:20,287 PIECE OF PERSONNEL ELIMINATION EQUIPMENT. YOU'LL LOVE IT. 986 00:36:20,311 --> 00:36:21,555 EQUIPMENT. YOU'LL LOVE IT. AND TAKE THAT. 987 00:36:21,579 --> 00:36:23,124 YOU'LL LOVE IT. AND TAKE THAT. TAKE THAT PILL. 988 00:36:23,148 --> 00:36:25,126 AND TAKE THAT. TAKE THAT PILL. OKAY, NOW, THE CHOPPER WILL DROP 989 00:36:25,150 --> 00:36:26,994 TAKE THAT PILL. OKAY, NOW, THE CHOPPER WILL DROP YOU HERE IN QUADRANT "B," AND, 990 00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:28,930 OKAY, NOW, THE CHOPPER WILL DROP YOU HERE IN QUADRANT "B," AND, UH... THAT PILL, BY THE WAY, IS 991 00:36:28,954 --> 00:36:30,598 YOU HERE IN QUADRANT "B," AND, UH... THAT PILL, BY THE WAY, IS AN L-PILL, KILLS WITHIN 20 992 00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:32,100 UH... THAT PILL, BY THE WAY, IS AN L-PILL, KILLS WITHIN 20 SECONDS OF TIME OF CONSUMPTION. 993 00:36:32,124 --> 00:36:33,467 AN L-PILL, KILLS WITHIN 20 SECONDS OF TIME OF CONSUMPTION. POISON LAB CAME UP WITH IT. 994 00:36:33,491 --> 00:36:34,936 SECONDS OF TIME OF CONSUMPTION. POISON LAB CAME UP WITH IT. TAKE IT IF THEY TRY TO CAPTURE 995 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:35,302 POISON LAB CAME UP WITH IT. TAKE IT IF THEY TRY TO CAPTURE YOU. 996 00:36:35,326 --> 00:36:37,238 TAKE IT IF THEY TRY TO CAPTURE YOU. OKAY, OVER THE HILL HERE. 997 00:36:37,262 --> 00:36:39,173 YOU. OKAY, OVER THE HILL HERE. WE'LL BE DROPPING HERE IN 998 00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:41,075 OKAY, OVER THE HILL HERE. WE'LL BE DROPPING HERE IN SECTORS FIVE, SEVEN, AND EIGHT. 999 00:36:41,099 --> 00:36:42,910 WE'LL BE DROPPING HERE IN SECTORS FIVE, SEVEN, AND EIGHT. SECTORS FIVE, SEVEN, AND EIGHT 1000 00:36:42,934 --> 00:36:45,012 SECTORS FIVE, SEVEN, AND EIGHT. SECTORS FIVE, SEVEN, AND EIGHT WILL BE CROSS... HERE. 1001 00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:46,380 SECTORS FIVE, SEVEN, AND EIGHT WILL BE CROSS... HERE. WE'RE GONNA DIVIDE THE... 1002 00:36:46,404 --> 00:36:47,381 WILL BE CROSS... HERE. WE'RE GONNA DIVIDE THE... MAJOR, YOU LISTENING? 1003 00:36:47,405 --> 00:36:48,750 WE'RE GONNA DIVIDE THE... MAJOR, YOU LISTENING? THIS IS A LIFE-AND-DEATH MATTER 1004 00:36:48,774 --> 00:36:49,150 MAJOR, YOU LISTENING? THIS IS A LIFE-AND-DEATH MATTER HERE. 1005 00:36:49,174 --> 00:36:49,884 THIS IS A LIFE-AND-DEATH MATTER HERE. NOW LISTEN. 1006 00:36:49,908 --> 00:36:51,452 HERE. NOW LISTEN. WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO HERE... 1007 00:36:51,476 --> 00:36:52,620 NOW LISTEN. WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO HERE... THIS IS VITAL, MAJOR. 1008 00:36:52,644 --> 00:36:54,155 WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO HERE... THIS IS VITAL, MAJOR. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION. 1009 00:36:54,179 --> 00:36:57,158 THIS IS VITAL, MAJOR. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1010 00:36:57,182 --> 00:36:58,993 PLEASE PAY ATTENTION. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Announcer: COME WITH US NOW 1011 00:36:59,017 --> 00:37:00,795 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Announcer: COME WITH US NOW FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO 1012 00:37:00,819 --> 00:37:02,630 Announcer: COME WITH US NOW FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO THE SULFUROUS WASTELANDS, FROM 1013 00:37:02,654 --> 00:37:04,265 FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO THE SULFUROUS WASTELANDS, FROM THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE 1014 00:37:04,289 --> 00:37:06,901 THE SULFUROUS WASTELANDS, FROM THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE STAGNANT NORTHLANDS, TO THE LAND 1015 00:37:06,925 --> 00:37:09,605 THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE STAGNANT NORTHLANDS, TO THE LAND OF GORCH. 1016 00:37:14,431 --> 00:37:19,180 [Slurring] ♪ I'M RETIRED, AND I WANT TO GO TO BED ♪ PLOOBIS! 1017 00:37:19,204 --> 00:37:20,081 AND I WANT TO GO TO BED ♪ PLOOBIS! PLOOBIS! 1018 00:37:20,105 --> 00:37:22,349 PLOOBIS! PLOOBIS! I JUST CHANGED MY MIND ON 1019 00:37:22,373 --> 00:37:23,617 PLOOBIS! I JUST CHANGED MY MIND ON THAT. 1020 00:37:23,641 --> 00:37:25,419 I JUST CHANGED MY MIND ON THAT. COME TO BED! 1021 00:37:25,443 --> 00:37:28,256 THAT. COME TO BED! DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. 1022 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,291 COME TO BED! DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. YOU'RE STILL DRUNK! 1023 00:37:30,315 --> 00:37:33,094 DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. YOU'RE STILL DRUNK! AND YOU'RE STILL UGLY. 1024 00:37:33,118 --> 00:37:34,829 YOU'RE STILL DRUNK! AND YOU'RE STILL UGLY. WE'RE EVEN. 1025 00:37:34,853 --> 00:37:36,798 AND YOU'RE STILL UGLY. WE'RE EVEN. HA, HA, HAAA! 1026 00:37:36,822 --> 00:37:38,833 WE'RE EVEN. HA, HA, HAAA! WE'RE EVEN, HA. 1027 00:37:38,857 --> 00:37:41,169 HA, HA, HAAA! WE'RE EVEN, HA. [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1028 00:37:41,193 --> 00:37:42,069 WE'RE EVEN, HA. [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] HIYA, CHIEF. 1029 00:37:42,093 --> 00:37:44,071 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] HIYA, CHIEF. I GOT THE ICE AND THE BEER NUTS, 1030 00:37:44,095 --> 00:37:45,539 HIYA, CHIEF. I GOT THE ICE AND THE BEER NUTS, BUT THEY'RE ALL OUT OF 1031 00:37:45,563 --> 00:37:46,407 I GOT THE ICE AND THE BEER NUTS, BUT THEY'RE ALL OUT OF LAMPSHADES. 1032 00:37:46,431 --> 00:37:47,574 BUT THEY'RE ALL OUT OF LAMPSHADES. LISTEN, SCRED. 1033 00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:48,810 LAMPSHADES. LISTEN, SCRED. HA... HAVE A DRINK. 1034 00:37:48,834 --> 00:37:50,644 LISTEN, SCRED. HA... HAVE A DRINK. I HATE TO DRINK ALONE, SCRED. 1035 00:37:50,668 --> 00:37:51,946 HA... HAVE A DRINK. I HATE TO DRINK ALONE, SCRED. OH, NO, COME ON. 1036 00:37:51,970 --> 00:37:53,380 I HATE TO DRINK ALONE, SCRED. OH, NO, COME ON. I'M SEEING DOUBLE ALREADY. 1037 00:37:53,404 --> 00:37:55,016 OH, NO, COME ON. I'M SEEING DOUBLE ALREADY. WELL, THEN, BOTH OF YOU HAVE 1038 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:55,616 I'M SEEING DOUBLE ALREADY. WELL, THEN, BOTH OF YOU HAVE A DRINK. 1039 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:56,583 WELL, THEN, BOTH OF YOU HAVE A DRINK. COME ON HERE. 1040 00:37:56,607 --> 00:37:58,419 A DRINK. COME ON HERE. THERE, THERE... THERE YOU GO. 1041 00:37:58,443 --> 00:38:00,521 COME ON HERE. THERE, THERE... THERE YOU GO. MMM, THERE YOU GO. 1042 00:38:00,545 --> 00:38:02,824 THERE, THERE... THERE YOU GO. MMM, THERE YOU GO. THAT'S DRINKING LIKE A MAN, 1043 00:38:02,848 --> 00:38:04,725 MMM, THERE YOU GO. THAT'S DRINKING LIKE A MAN, SCRED. 1044 00:38:04,749 --> 00:38:06,360 THAT'S DRINKING LIKE A MAN, SCRED. [COUGHS] 1045 00:38:06,384 --> 00:38:07,929 SCRED. [COUGHS] DRUNK LIKE A MAN. 1046 00:38:07,953 --> 00:38:10,031 [COUGHS] DRUNK LIKE A MAN. NO, YOU FORGET WHAT PLANET 1047 00:38:10,055 --> 00:38:10,965 DRUNK LIKE A MAN. NO, YOU FORGET WHAT PLANET YOU'RE ON. 1048 00:38:10,989 --> 00:38:13,134 NO, YOU FORGET WHAT PLANET YOU'RE ON. THAT'S DRINKING LIKE A SNIRCH! 1049 00:38:13,158 --> 00:38:13,868 YOU'RE ON. THAT'S DRINKING LIKE A SNIRCH! [LAUGHS] 1050 00:38:13,892 --> 00:38:15,636 THAT'S DRINKING LIKE A SNIRCH! [LAUGHS] OH, YEAH, I FORGET HOW THEM 1051 00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:16,637 [LAUGHS] OH, YEAH, I FORGET HOW THEM SNIRCHES DRINK. 1052 00:38:16,661 --> 00:38:17,471 OH, YEAH, I FORGET HOW THEM SNIRCHES DRINK. YES, INDEED. 1053 00:38:17,495 --> 00:38:18,639 SNIRCHES DRINK. YES, INDEED. YOU KNOW YOU... 1054 00:38:18,663 --> 00:38:20,341 YES, INDEED. YOU KNOW YOU... YOU'RE CAUGHT ON ME THERE, 1055 00:38:20,365 --> 00:38:20,875 YOU KNOW YOU... YOU'RE CAUGHT ON ME THERE, SCRED. 1056 00:38:20,899 --> 00:38:22,143 YOU'RE CAUGHT ON ME THERE, SCRED. LET GO OF ME. 1057 00:38:22,167 --> 00:38:24,345 SCRED. LET GO OF ME. YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T 1058 00:38:24,369 --> 00:38:25,379 LET GO OF ME. YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK, THOUGH. 1059 00:38:25,403 --> 00:38:27,381 YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK, THOUGH. YEAH, YOU SHOULD JUST LAY OFF OF 1060 00:38:27,405 --> 00:38:29,650 DRINK, THOUGH. YEAH, YOU SHOULD JUST LAY OFF OF THAT STUFF! 1061 00:38:29,674 --> 00:38:30,751 YEAH, YOU SHOULD JUST LAY OFF OF THAT STUFF! ALL RIGHT. 1062 00:38:30,775 --> 00:38:31,819 THAT STUFF! ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE FIRED! 1063 00:38:31,843 --> 00:38:32,887 ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE FIRED! YOU GET THAT? 1064 00:38:32,911 --> 00:38:34,688 YOU'RE FIRED! YOU GET THAT? YOU GOT TO LAY OFF THE STUFF. 1065 00:38:34,712 --> 00:38:35,756 YOU GET THAT? YOU GOT TO LAY OFF THE STUFF. YOU SEE THAT? 1066 00:38:35,780 --> 00:38:38,092 YOU GOT TO LAY OFF THE STUFF. YOU SEE THAT? [LAUGHS] 1067 00:38:38,116 --> 00:38:40,962 YOU SEE THAT? [LAUGHS] OH, YES, INDEED. 1068 00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:41,863 [LAUGHS] OH, YES, INDEED. SCRED? SCRED? 1069 00:38:41,887 --> 00:38:42,529 OH, YES, INDEED. SCRED? SCRED? YEAH? 1070 00:38:42,553 --> 00:38:43,998 SCRED? SCRED? YEAH? YOU KNOW WHY I DRINK? 1071 00:38:44,022 --> 00:38:44,565 YEAH? YOU KNOW WHY I DRINK? NO. 1072 00:38:44,589 --> 00:38:47,168 YOU KNOW WHY I DRINK? NO. IT'S BECAUSE I HATE MYSELF. 1073 00:38:47,192 --> 00:38:48,602 NO. IT'S BECAUSE I HATE MYSELF. OH. 1074 00:38:48,626 --> 00:38:51,873 IT'S BECAUSE I HATE MYSELF. OH. THAT EXPLAINS WHY I DRINK. 1075 00:38:51,897 --> 00:38:53,908 OH. THAT EXPLAINS WHY I DRINK. I HATE YOU, TOO! 1076 00:38:53,932 --> 00:38:56,077 THAT EXPLAINS WHY I DRINK. I HATE YOU, TOO! SCRED! UGH! 1077 00:38:56,101 --> 00:38:57,144 I HATE YOU, TOO! SCRED! UGH! [CLANGING] 1078 00:38:57,168 --> 00:38:59,213 SCRED! UGH! [CLANGING] ACTUALLY... ACTUALLY, I'M 1079 00:38:59,237 --> 00:39:00,348 [CLANGING] ACTUALLY... ACTUALLY, I'M ONLY KIDDING. 1080 00:39:00,372 --> 00:39:02,183 ACTUALLY... ACTUALLY, I'M ONLY KIDDING. YOU'RE MY VERY FAVORITE. 1081 00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:02,984 ONLY KIDDING. YOU'RE MY VERY FAVORITE. YEAH? 1082 00:39:03,008 --> 00:39:03,851 YOU'RE MY VERY FAVORITE. YEAH? YEAH. 1083 00:39:03,875 --> 00:39:05,853 YEAH? YEAH. I JUST LOVE BLOATED GREEN 1084 00:39:05,877 --> 00:39:06,587 YEAH. I JUST LOVE BLOATED GREEN THINGS. 1085 00:39:06,611 --> 00:39:07,454 I JUST LOVE BLOATED GREEN THINGS. SCRED! 1086 00:39:07,478 --> 00:39:09,456 THINGS. SCRED! I LIKE YOU, TOO, SEE, SCRED. 1087 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,558 SCRED! I LIKE YOU, TOO, SEE, SCRED. I LIKE... I LIKE THE WAY YOUR 1088 00:39:11,582 --> 00:39:13,727 I LIKE YOU, TOO, SEE, SCRED. I LIKE... I LIKE THE WAY YOUR NECK AND MY HAND ARE A PERFECT 1089 00:39:13,751 --> 00:39:14,295 I LIKE... I LIKE THE WAY YOUR NECK AND MY HAND ARE A PERFECT FIT. 1090 00:39:14,319 --> 00:39:14,962 NECK AND MY HAND ARE A PERFECT FIT. UGH! 1091 00:39:14,986 --> 00:39:16,430 FIT. UGH! [CHOKING] 1092 00:39:16,454 --> 00:39:17,999 UGH! [CHOKING] HOW CONVENIENT! 1093 00:39:18,023 --> 00:39:19,166 [CHOKING] HOW CONVENIENT! WAIT A MINUTE, SCRED. 1094 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:20,501 HOW CONVENIENT! WAIT A MINUTE, SCRED. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 1095 00:39:20,525 --> 00:39:21,035 WAIT A MINUTE, SCRED. WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT? 1096 00:39:21,059 --> 00:39:22,503 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT? WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T... WHY 1097 00:39:22,527 --> 00:39:23,871 WHAT? WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T... LISTEN, WHY DON'T... 1098 00:39:23,895 --> 00:39:25,339 WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T... LISTEN, WHY DON'T... WHY... WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T WE 1099 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:26,874 DON'T... LISTEN, WHY DON'T... WHY... WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T WE GO SEE THE MIGHTY FAVOG? 1100 00:39:26,898 --> 00:39:27,641 WHY... WHY DON'T... WHY DON'T WE GO SEE THE MIGHTY FAVOG? OH, NO! 1101 00:39:27,665 --> 00:39:28,976 GO SEE THE MIGHTY FAVOG? OH, NO! I GOT A BETTER IDEA. 1102 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,044 OH, NO! I GOT A BETTER IDEA. WHAT'S THAT? 1103 00:39:30,068 --> 00:39:31,979 I GOT A BETTER IDEA. WHAT'S THAT? YEAH, WHY DON'T WE GO SEE THE 1104 00:39:32,003 --> 00:39:32,914 WHAT'S THAT? YEAH, WHY DON'T WE GO SEE THE MIGHTY FAVOG? 1105 00:39:32,938 --> 00:39:34,315 YEAH, WHY DON'T WE GO SEE THE MIGHTY FAVOG? THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 1106 00:39:34,339 --> 00:39:35,482 MIGHTY FAVOG? THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. COME ON, LET'S GO. 1107 00:39:35,506 --> 00:39:36,884 THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. COME ON, LET'S GO. OH, IT'S NOT THAT WAY. 1108 00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:37,851 COME ON, LET'S GO. OH, IT'S NOT THAT WAY. IT'S THE OTHER WAY. 1109 00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:38,819 OH, IT'S NOT THAT WAY. IT'S THE OTHER WAY. SHOW ME THE WAY. 1110 00:39:38,843 --> 00:39:39,787 IT'S THE OTHER WAY. SHOW ME THE WAY. SHOW ME THE WAY. 1111 00:39:39,811 --> 00:39:43,190 SHOW ME THE WAY. SHOW ME THE WAY. ♪ SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME ♪ 1112 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:46,060 SHOW ME THE WAY. ♪ SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME ♪ ♪ I'M TIRED, AND I WANT TO GO TO 1113 00:39:46,084 --> 00:39:47,828 ♪ SHOW ME THE WAY TO GO HOME ♪ ♪ I'M TIRED, AND I WANT TO GO TO BED ♪ 1114 00:39:47,852 --> 00:39:48,829 ♪ I'M TIRED, AND I WANT TO GO TO BED ♪ [GONG BANGS] 1115 00:39:48,853 --> 00:39:50,697 BED ♪ [GONG BANGS] UH-OH. 1116 00:39:50,721 --> 00:39:54,302 [GONG BANGS] UH-OH. THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. 1117 00:39:54,326 --> 00:39:56,837 UH-OH. THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. THAT IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. 1118 00:39:56,861 --> 00:39:58,539 THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. THAT IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. YEAH, SURE IS. 1119 00:39:58,563 --> 00:39:59,706 THAT IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. YEAH, SURE IS. [LAUGHS] 1120 00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:01,475 YEAH, SURE IS. [LAUGHS] HEY, MIGHTY FAVOG! 1121 00:40:01,499 --> 00:40:04,178 [LAUGHS] HEY, MIGHTY FAVOG! ME AND MY LITTLE DOG TOTO HERE 1122 00:40:04,202 --> 00:40:05,879 HEY, MIGHTY FAVOG! ME AND MY LITTLE DOG TOTO HERE WANT TO GO BACK TO KANSAS! 1123 00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:09,917 ME AND MY LITTLE DOG TOTO HERE WANT TO GO BACK TO KANSAS! [BOTH LAUGH] 1124 00:40:09,941 --> 00:40:12,453 WANT TO GO BACK TO KANSAS! [BOTH LAUGH] YOU GUYS BEEN HITTING THE 1125 00:40:12,477 --> 00:40:13,287 [BOTH LAUGH] YOU GUYS BEEN HITTING THE SAUCE AGAIN. 1126 00:40:13,311 --> 00:40:14,355 YOU GUYS BEEN HITTING THE SAUCE AGAIN. LISTEN, UH... 1127 00:40:14,379 --> 00:40:16,057 SAUCE AGAIN. LISTEN, UH... NO, I JUST HAD A COUPLE OF 1128 00:40:16,081 --> 00:40:16,657 LISTEN, UH... NO, I JUST HAD A COUPLE OF DRINKS. 1129 00:40:16,681 --> 00:40:18,292 NO, I JUST HAD A COUPLE OF DRINKS. YEAH, YEAH, LIGHTEN IT UP 1130 00:40:18,316 --> 00:40:19,427 DRINKS. YEAH, YEAH, LIGHTEN IT UP THERE, STONE FACE! 1131 00:40:19,451 --> 00:40:20,328 YEAH, YEAH, LIGHTEN IT UP THERE, STONE FACE! STONE FACE! 1132 00:40:20,352 --> 00:40:21,128 THERE, STONE FACE! STONE FACE! STONE FACE! 1133 00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:22,930 STONE FACE! STONE FACE! YEAH, HE'S GOT A FACE THAT WOULD 1134 00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:23,797 STONE FACE! YEAH, HE'S GOT A FACE THAT WOULD STOP A CLOCK! 1135 00:40:23,821 --> 00:40:24,665 YEAH, HE'S GOT A FACE THAT WOULD STOP A CLOCK! [LAUGHS] 1136 00:40:24,689 --> 00:40:26,233 STOP A CLOCK! [LAUGHS] STONE FACE? 1137 00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:29,203 [LAUGHS] STONE FACE? THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE FACE OF 1138 00:40:29,227 --> 00:40:31,705 STONE FACE? THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE FACE OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN! 1139 00:40:31,729 --> 00:40:36,978 THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE FACE OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN! [THUNDER CRASHES] 1140 00:40:37,002 --> 00:40:38,079 THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN! [THUNDER CRASHES] HA. 1141 00:40:38,103 --> 00:40:40,948 [THUNDER CRASHES] HA. THE MIGHTY OZ HAS SPOKEN. 1142 00:40:40,972 --> 00:40:42,716 HA. THE MIGHTY OZ HAS SPOKEN. [GONG BANGS] 1143 00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:45,060 THE MIGHTY OZ HAS SPOKEN. [GONG BANGS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1144 00:40:57,287 --> 00:41:03,637 OKAY, NOW, MA'AM, WHICH MAN IS THE ONE WHO ALLEGEDLY ROBBED YOUR LIQUOR STORE? 1145 00:41:03,661 --> 00:41:05,840 IS THE ONE WHO ALLEGEDLY ROBBED YOUR LIQUOR STORE? UH, THAT'S HIM, THE ONE WITH 1146 00:41:05,864 --> 00:41:06,740 YOUR LIQUOR STORE? UH, THAT'S HIM, THE ONE WITH THE MUSTACHE. 1147 00:41:06,764 --> 00:41:08,542 UH, THAT'S HIM, THE ONE WITH THE MUSTACHE. OKAY, WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM, 1148 00:41:08,566 --> 00:41:10,566 THE MUSTACHE. OKAY, WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM, THEN. 1149 00:41:15,439 --> 00:41:23,439 [DOORBELL RINGS] [THEME FROM "THE EXORCIST" PLAYS] 1150 00:41:26,685 --> 00:41:28,529 [THEME FROM "THE EXORCIST" PLAYS] FATHERS, I'M SO GLAD YOU 1151 00:41:28,553 --> 00:41:29,463 [PLAYS] FATHERS, I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD COME. 1152 00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:31,365 FATHERS, I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD COME. EXCUSE THE STAIN ON THE RUG. 1153 00:41:31,389 --> 00:41:32,066 COULD COME. EXCUSE THE STAIN ON THE RUG. YES. 1154 00:41:32,090 --> 00:41:33,868 EXCUSE THE STAIN ON THE RUG. YES. THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, MY 1155 00:41:33,892 --> 00:41:34,501 YES. THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, MY CHILD. 1156 00:41:34,525 --> 00:41:35,436 THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, MY CHILD. HAVE FAITH. 1157 00:41:35,460 --> 00:41:37,071 CHILD. HAVE FAITH. THIS IS BROTHER KARRAS. 1158 00:41:37,095 --> 00:41:38,839 HAVE FAITH. THIS IS BROTHER KARRAS. I'M FATHER KARRAS. 1159 00:41:38,863 --> 00:41:43,210 THIS IS BROTHER KARRAS. I'M FATHER KARRAS. [Demonic voice] MERRIN. 1160 00:41:43,234 --> 00:41:44,879 I'M FATHER KARRAS. [Demonic voice] MERRIN. WHERE'S YOUR FAITH, FATHER? 1161 00:41:44,903 --> 00:41:46,047 [Demonic voice] MERRIN. WHERE'S YOUR FAITH, FATHER? IT'S IN THE CAR. 1162 00:41:46,071 --> 00:41:50,985 WHERE'S YOUR FAITH, FATHER? IT'S IN THE CAR. I'M GONNA GET IT. 1163 00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:52,720 IT'S IN THE CAR. I'M GONNA GET IT. WHERE IS SHE? 1164 00:41:52,744 --> 00:41:54,088 I'M GONNA GET IT. WHERE IS SHE? UPSTAIRS. 1165 00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:56,356 WHERE IS SHE? UPSTAIRS. SHE DID THAT TO YOU? 1166 00:41:56,380 --> 00:41:58,314 UPSTAIRS. SHE DID THAT TO YOU? OH. 1167 00:42:14,564 --> 00:42:21,616 [MOANING, GROWLING] I COMMAND YOU, DEMON... DEMON, BE GONE! 1168 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:23,283 I COMMAND YOU, DEMON... DEMON, BE GONE! WOW, THAT'S SOMETHING, 1169 00:42:23,307 --> 00:42:23,951 DEMON, BE GONE! WOW, THAT'S SOMETHING, FATHER. 1170 00:42:23,975 --> 00:42:24,652 WOW, THAT'S SOMETHING, FATHER. YES. 1171 00:42:24,676 --> 00:42:26,386 FATHER. YES. YOU SEE, I TOLD YOU WE HAD 1172 00:42:26,410 --> 00:42:27,955 YES. YOU SEE, I TOLD YOU WE HAD NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 1173 00:42:27,979 --> 00:42:29,189 YOU SEE, I TOLD YOU WE HAD NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 1174 00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:30,457 NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. LET'S TALK TO THE CHILD. 1175 00:42:30,481 --> 00:42:31,626 NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. LET'S TALK TO THE CHILD. YES, YOU TALK TO HER. 1176 00:42:31,650 --> 00:42:34,450 LET'S TALK TO THE CHILD. YES, YOU TALK TO HER. [EXHALES DEEPLY] 1177 00:42:44,594 --> 00:42:52,594 AAH! DID YOU DO THAT, LITTLE GIRL? LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA. 1178 00:42:53,204 --> 00:42:54,548 DID YOU DO THAT, LITTLE GIRL? LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA. YOU MUSTN'T LISTEN TO 1179 00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:55,950 LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA. YOU MUSTN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING SHE HAS TO SAY. 1180 00:42:55,974 --> 00:42:57,818 YOU MUSTN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING SHE HAS TO SAY. I'M NOT LISTENING. 1181 00:42:57,842 --> 00:43:00,454 ANYTHING SHE HAS TO SAY. I'M NOT LISTENING. YOU'RE A LIAR AND A CHEAT AND 1182 00:43:00,478 --> 00:43:02,023 I'M NOT LISTENING. YOU'RE A LIAR AND A CHEAT AND A CHILD MOLESTER. 1183 00:43:02,047 --> 00:43:04,591 YOU'RE A LIAR AND A CHEAT AND A CHILD MOLESTER. YOU FRENCH-KISS YOUR DOG IN THE 1184 00:43:04,615 --> 00:43:05,392 A CHILD MOLESTER. YOU FRENCH-KISS YOUR DOG IN THE MOUTH! 1185 00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:07,294 YOU FRENCH-KISS YOUR DOG IN THE MOUTH! DID YOU HEAR THAT? 1186 00:43:07,318 --> 00:43:08,328 MOUTH! DID YOU HEAR THAT? AAH, AAH! 1187 00:43:08,352 --> 00:43:09,964 DID YOU HEAR THAT? AAH, AAH! THE BED... STOP THE BED! 1188 00:43:09,988 --> 00:43:11,065 AAH, AAH! THE BED... STOP THE BED! STOP THE BED! 1189 00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:12,967 THE BED... STOP THE BED! STOP THE BED! THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR. 1190 00:43:12,991 --> 00:43:15,469 STOP THE BED! THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR. THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR! 1191 00:43:15,493 --> 00:43:18,139 THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR. THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR! Both: THE BED MUST BE ON THE 1192 00:43:18,163 --> 00:43:19,106 THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR! Both: THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR! 1193 00:43:19,130 --> 00:43:22,043 Both: THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR! THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR! 1194 00:43:22,067 --> 00:43:26,180 FLOOR! THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR! THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! 1195 00:43:26,204 --> 00:43:29,483 THE BED MUST BE ON THE FLOOR! THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! 1196 00:43:29,507 --> 00:43:30,818 THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! [SPEAKING LATIN] 1197 00:43:30,842 --> 00:43:35,622 THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! [SPEAKING LATIN] THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! 1198 00:43:35,646 --> 00:43:40,094 [SPEAKING LATIN] THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! 1199 00:43:40,118 --> 00:43:43,731 THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! OH, FATHER, THE BED IS ON MY 1200 00:43:43,755 --> 00:43:44,364 THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! OH, FATHER, THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! 1201 00:43:44,388 --> 00:43:46,500 OH, FATHER, THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! YOU MUST CONTINUE, FATHER. 1202 00:43:46,524 --> 00:43:47,168 FOOT! YOU MUST CONTINUE, FATHER. OH! 1203 00:43:47,192 --> 00:43:48,435 YOU MUST CONTINUE, FATHER. OH! I MUST REST. 1204 00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:50,705 OH! I MUST REST. YOU MUST REST?! 1205 00:43:50,729 --> 00:43:54,474 I MUST REST. YOU MUST REST?! THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! 1206 00:43:54,498 --> 00:43:56,376 YOU MUST REST?! THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! [Child's voice] OH, OH, 1207 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,179 THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! [Child's voice] OH, OH, FATHER KARRAS, I'M EVER SO 1208 00:43:58,203 --> 00:43:58,879 [Child's voice] OH, OH, FATHER KARRAS, I'M EVER SO HUNGRY. 1209 00:43:58,903 --> 00:44:00,848 FATHER KARRAS, I'M EVER SO HUNGRY. COULDN'T YOU GIVE ME SOME PEA 1210 00:44:00,872 --> 00:44:01,415 HUNGRY. COULDN'T YOU GIVE ME SOME PEA SOUP? 1211 00:44:01,439 --> 00:44:02,983 COULDN'T YOU GIVE ME SOME PEA SOUP? IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE. 1212 00:44:03,007 --> 00:44:05,853 SOUP? IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE. THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! 1213 00:44:05,877 --> 00:44:10,624 IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE. THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! OH, JEEPERS, I'M SORRY. 1214 00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:13,027 THE BED IS ON MY FOOT! OH, JEEPERS, I'M SORRY. OH, THANK YOU, LITTLE GIRL. 1215 00:44:13,051 --> 00:44:13,728 OH, JEEPERS, I'M SORRY. OH, THANK YOU, LITTLE GIRL. WHEW! 1216 00:44:13,752 --> 00:44:15,495 OH, THANK YOU, LITTLE GIRL. WHEW! YOU'RE SUCH A NICE LITTLE GIRL. 1217 00:44:15,519 --> 00:44:16,897 WHEW! YOU'RE SUCH A NICE LITTLE GIRL. I KNEW IT ALL THE TIME. 1218 00:44:16,921 --> 00:44:18,199 YOU'RE SUCH A NICE LITTLE GIRL. I KNEW IT ALL THE TIME. HERE'S YOUR PEA SOUP. 1219 00:44:18,223 --> 00:44:19,834 I KNEW IT ALL THE TIME. HERE'S YOUR PEA SOUP. MAYBE NOW WE CAN BE FRIENDS, 1220 00:44:19,858 --> 00:44:20,267 HERE'S YOUR PEA SOUP. MAYBE NOW WE CAN BE FRIENDS, HUH? 1221 00:44:20,291 --> 00:44:23,804 MAYBE NOW WE CAN BE FRIENDS, HUH? WHAT DO YOU SAY? 1222 00:44:23,828 --> 00:44:30,945 HUH? WHAT DO YOU SAY? [Demonic voice] SUCKER! 1223 00:44:30,969 --> 00:44:33,413 WHAT DO YOU SAY? [Demonic voice] SUCKER! [Child's voice] OH, OH, 1224 00:44:33,437 --> 00:44:35,983 [Demonic voice] SUCKER! [Child's voice] OH, OH, FATHER KARRAS, I'M EVER SO 1225 00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:36,984 [Child's voice] OH, OH, FATHER KARRAS, I'M EVER SO SORRY. 1226 00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:38,719 FATHER KARRAS, I'M EVER SO SORRY. LET'S MAKE UP. 1227 00:44:38,743 --> 00:44:40,988 SORRY. LET'S MAKE UP. HERE, HAVE A FLOWER. 1228 00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:43,557 LET'S MAKE UP. HERE, HAVE A FLOWER. OH, WHAT A SWEET GESTURE. 1229 00:44:43,581 --> 00:44:48,028 HERE, HAVE A FLOWER. OH, WHAT A SWEET GESTURE. YOU'RE A SWEET LITTLE GIRL. 1230 00:44:48,052 --> 00:44:49,696 OH, WHAT A SWEET GESTURE. YOU'RE A SWEET LITTLE GIRL. [Demonic voice] JIVE 1231 00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:53,934 YOU'RE A SWEET LITTLE GIRL. [Demonic voice] JIVE TURKEY! 1232 00:44:53,958 --> 00:44:56,270 [Demonic voice] JIVE TURKEY! I HAVE FAITH. 1233 00:44:56,294 --> 00:44:57,638 TURKEY! I HAVE FAITH. I HAVE FAITH. 1234 00:44:57,662 --> 00:45:00,007 I HAVE FAITH. I HAVE FAITH. YOU'RE SUCH A LITTLE GIRL. 1235 00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:02,309 I HAVE FAITH. YOU'RE SUCH A LITTLE GIRL. YOUR MOTHER EATS KITTY 1236 00:45:02,333 --> 00:45:04,653 YOU'RE SUCH A LITTLE GIRL. YOUR MOTHER EATS KITTY LITTER! 1237 00:45:11,374 --> 00:45:16,090 SAY WHAT? YOUR MAMA EATS KITTY LITTER! DON'T NOBODY TALK ABOUT MY 1238 00:45:16,114 --> 00:45:23,297 YOUR MAMA EATS KITTY LITTER! DON'T NOBODY TALK ABOUT MY MAMA! 1239 00:45:23,321 --> 00:45:24,098 DON'T NOBODY TALK ABOUT MY MAMA! FATHER! 1240 00:45:24,122 --> 00:45:24,799 MAMA! FATHER! WHAT? 1241 00:45:24,823 --> 00:45:26,233 FATHER! WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1242 00:45:26,257 --> 00:45:27,734 WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SHE'S JUST AN INNOCENT! 1243 00:45:27,758 --> 00:45:29,136 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SHE'S JUST AN INNOCENT! TALKING ABOUT MY MAMA! 1244 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,905 SHE'S JUST AN INNOCENT! TALKING ABOUT MY MAMA! [Child's voice] OH, FATHER, 1245 00:45:30,929 --> 00:45:32,406 TALKING ABOUT MY MAMA! [Child's voice] OH, FATHER, THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE. 1246 00:45:32,430 --> 00:45:33,507 [Child's voice] OH, FATHER, THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE. HE WAS HURTING ME. 1247 00:45:33,531 --> 00:45:34,074 THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE. HE WAS HURTING ME. YES. 1248 00:45:34,098 --> 00:45:35,810 HE WAS HURTING ME. YES. I'M GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU SAY 1249 00:45:35,834 --> 00:45:38,813 YES. I'M GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY MAMA! 1250 00:45:38,837 --> 00:45:40,747 I'M GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY MAMA! SHE'S SUCH AN INNOCENT CHILD. 1251 00:45:40,771 --> 00:45:42,716 SOMETHING ABOUT MY MAMA! SHE'S SUCH AN INNOCENT CHILD. [Demonic voice] YOUR MOTHER 1252 00:45:42,740 --> 00:45:44,852 SHE'S SUCH AN INNOCENT CHILD. [Demonic voice] YOUR MOTHER SEWS SOCKS THAT SMELL! 1253 00:45:44,876 --> 00:45:47,387 [Demonic voice] YOUR MOTHER SEWS SOCKS THAT SMELL! WHAT DID YOU SAY, LITTLE 1254 00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:48,189 SEWS SOCKS THAT SMELL! WHAT DID YOU SAY, LITTLE GIRL? 1255 00:45:48,213 --> 00:45:50,791 WHAT DID YOU SAY, LITTLE GIRL? YOUR MAMA SEWS SOCKS THAT 1256 00:45:50,815 --> 00:45:54,195 GIRL? YOUR MAMA SEWS SOCKS THAT SMELL! 1257 00:45:54,219 --> 00:45:56,030 YOUR MAMA SEWS SOCKS THAT SMELL! FATHER, FATHER, FATHER! 1258 00:45:56,054 --> 00:45:57,231 SMELL! FATHER, FATHER, FATHER! PLEASE, FATHER! 1259 00:45:57,255 --> 00:45:59,133 FATHER, FATHER, FATHER! PLEASE, FATHER! LET ME HELP YOU! 1260 00:45:59,157 --> 00:46:00,500 PLEASE, FATHER! LET ME HELP YOU! [CHOKING] 1261 00:46:00,524 --> 00:46:02,484 LET ME HELP YOU! [CHOKING] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1262 00:46:21,745 --> 00:46:27,394 ALBERT BROOKS IS SICK THIS WEEK, SO HE SENT HIS FILM IN. AND NOW HERE'S THIS WEEK'S FILM 1263 00:46:27,418 --> 00:46:32,132 WEEK, SO HE SENT HIS FILM IN. AND NOW HERE'S THIS WEEK'S FILM BY OUR FRIEND ALBERT BROOKS. 1264 00:46:32,156 --> 00:46:34,235 AND NOW HERE'S THIS WEEK'S FILM BY OUR FRIEND ALBERT BROOKS. [COUGHS] 1265 00:46:34,259 --> 00:46:37,338 BY OUR FRIEND ALBERT BROOKS. [COUGHS] HELLO. I'M SICK THIS WEEK. 1266 00:46:37,362 --> 00:46:39,607 [COUGHS] HELLO. I'M SICK THIS WEEK. AND, UH, I APOLOGIZE BECAUSE I 1267 00:46:39,631 --> 00:46:41,308 HELLO. I'M SICK THIS WEEK. AND, UH, I APOLOGIZE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKE 1268 00:46:41,332 --> 00:46:42,809 AND, UH, I APOLOGIZE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKE ACTION MOVIES. 1269 00:46:42,833 --> 00:46:44,945 KNOW THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKE ACTION MOVIES. BUT I... I CAN GIVE YOU SOME 1270 00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:46,012 ACTION MOVIES. BUT I... I CAN GIVE YOU SOME ACTION. 1271 00:46:46,036 --> 00:46:47,981 BUT I... I CAN GIVE YOU SOME ACTION. I HAVE THIS REMOTE-CONTROL ZOOM 1272 00:46:48,005 --> 00:46:49,916 ACTION. I HAVE THIS REMOTE-CONTROL ZOOM DEVICE THAT CAN BRING THE LENS 1273 00:46:49,940 --> 00:46:51,017 I HAVE THIS REMOTE-CONTROL ZOOM DEVICE THAT CAN BRING THE LENS BACK AND FORTH. 1274 00:46:51,041 --> 00:46:52,819 DEVICE THAT CAN BRING THE LENS BACK AND FORTH. I CAN'T MOVE THE CAMERA THIS 1275 00:46:52,843 --> 00:46:54,821 BACK AND FORTH. I CAN'T MOVE THE CAMERA THIS TIME FROM SIDE TO SIDE BECAUSE 1276 00:46:54,845 --> 00:46:56,457 I CAN'T MOVE THE CAMERA THIS TIME FROM SIDE TO SIDE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A CREW HERE. 1277 00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:58,592 TIME FROM SIDE TO SIDE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A CREW HERE. I WOULDN'T INFECT 12 PEOPLE FOR 1278 00:46:58,616 --> 00:47:00,326 I DON'T HAVE A CREW HERE. I WOULDN'T INFECT 12 PEOPLE FOR ANY MOVIE. 1279 00:47:00,350 --> 00:47:01,984 BUT THE ZOOM IS EFFECTIVE 'CAUSE 1280 00:47:02,118 --> 00:47:03,852 A LOT OF TIMES, WITHOUT RAISING 1281 00:47:03,987 --> 00:47:05,655 YOUR VOICE, YOU CAN MAKE YOUR 1282 00:47:05,789 --> 00:47:07,490 VOICE SEEM TO GROW LOUDER WHEN 1283 00:47:07,624 --> 00:47:09,258 YOU WANT TO MAKE A POINT WHEN 1284 00:47:09,393 --> 00:47:10,426 YOU BRING IT IN TIGHT. 1285 00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,027 AND THEN, ONCE YOU'RE IN, AFTER 1286 00:47:12,162 --> 00:47:13,462 YOU MADE YOUR POINT, YOU CAN 1287 00:47:13,597 --> 00:47:14,297 COME BACK OUT. 1288 00:47:14,431 --> 00:47:15,531 SO, I'LL USE THIS AT MY 1289 00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:16,666 DISCRETION. 1290 00:47:16,767 --> 00:47:22,816 I ALSO HAVE ON THE SPEAKERPHONE A GUEST WITH ME THIS EVENING. THIS IS DR. JOSEPH SCHUSTER. 1291 00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:25,352 A GUEST WITH ME THIS EVENING. THIS IS DR. JOSEPH SCHUSTER. DR. SCHUSTER, CAN YOU HEAR ME? 1292 00:47:25,376 --> 00:47:25,886 THIS IS DR. JOSEPH SCHUSTER. DR. SCHUSTER, CAN YOU HEAR ME? YES. 1293 00:47:25,910 --> 00:47:27,187 DR. SCHUSTER, CAN YOU HEAR ME? YES. ALL RIGHT, THIS IS MY 1294 00:47:27,211 --> 00:47:27,854 YES. ALL RIGHT, THIS IS MY PHYSICIAN. 1295 00:47:27,878 --> 00:47:29,022 ALL RIGHT, THIS IS MY PHYSICIAN. WOULD YOU TELL THEM NOW WHAT YOU 1296 00:47:29,046 --> 00:47:30,291 PHYSICIAN. WOULD YOU TELL THEM NOW WHAT YOU TOLD ME TWO DAYS AGO? 1297 00:47:30,315 --> 00:47:32,058 WOULD YOU TELL THEM NOW WHAT YOU TOLD ME TWO DAYS AGO? ALL RIGHT, I'LL TRY TO PUT IT 1298 00:47:32,082 --> 00:47:33,827 TOLD ME TWO DAYS AGO? ALL RIGHT, I'LL TRY TO PUT IT IN LAYMAN'S LANGUAGE AS MUCH AS 1299 00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:34,928 ALL RIGHT, I'LL TRY TO PUT IT IN LAYMAN'S LANGUAGE AS MUCH AS I CAN, MR. BROOKS. 1300 00:47:34,952 --> 00:47:37,564 IN LAYMAN'S LANGUAGE AS MUCH AS I CAN, MR. BROOKS. BASICALLY, YOU ARE OVERWORKED. 1301 00:47:37,588 --> 00:47:38,899 I CAN, MR. BROOKS. BASICALLY, YOU ARE OVERWORKED. I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE 1302 00:47:38,923 --> 00:47:40,367 BASICALLY, YOU ARE OVERWORKED. I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE MOTION-PICTURE BUSINESS, BUT IT 1303 00:47:40,391 --> 00:47:41,769 I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE MOTION-PICTURE BUSINESS, BUT IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE DOING 1304 00:47:41,793 --> 00:47:43,136 MOTION-PICTURE BUSINESS, BUT IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE DOING THE WORK OF ABOUT 30 PEOPLE. 1305 00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:44,538 SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE DOING THE WORK OF ABOUT 30 PEOPLE. FRANKLY, I'M SURPRISED YOU'VE 1306 00:47:44,562 --> 00:47:46,072 THE WORK OF ABOUT 30 PEOPLE. FRANKLY, I'M SURPRISED YOU'VE BEEN ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU'VE DONE 1307 00:47:46,096 --> 00:47:46,807 FRANKLY, I'M SURPRISED YOU'VE BEEN ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU'VE DONE SO FAR. 1308 00:47:46,831 --> 00:47:47,941 BEEN ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU'VE DONE SO FAR. 30 PEOPLE. 1309 00:47:47,965 --> 00:47:48,742 SO FAR. 30 PEOPLE. YES. 1310 00:47:48,766 --> 00:47:51,011 30 PEOPLE. YES. ALL RIGHT, HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE 1311 00:47:51,035 --> 00:47:53,113 YES. ALL RIGHT, HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO SEE ANY OF MY OTHER FILMS? 1312 00:47:53,137 --> 00:47:54,348 ALL RIGHT, HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO SEE ANY OF MY OTHER FILMS? YES, I HAVE. 1313 00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:56,583 TO SEE ANY OF MY OTHER FILMS? YES, I HAVE. AND IT'S A MIRACLE YOU'RE STILL 1314 00:47:56,607 --> 00:47:57,083 YES, I HAVE. AND IT'S A MIRACLE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE. 1315 00:47:57,107 --> 00:47:58,251 AND IT'S A MIRACLE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE. THAT'S VERY NICE. 1316 00:47:58,275 --> 00:47:59,620 ALIVE. THAT'S VERY NICE. THANK YOU, DR. SCHUSTER. 1317 00:47:59,644 --> 00:48:00,921 THAT'S VERY NICE. THANK YOU, DR. SCHUSTER. LET ME ASK YOU ONE MORE 1318 00:48:00,945 --> 00:48:01,588 THANK YOU, DR. SCHUSTER. LET ME ASK YOU ONE MORE QUESTION. 1319 00:48:01,612 --> 00:48:02,289 LET ME ASK YOU ONE MORE QUESTION. MM-HMM. 1320 00:48:02,313 --> 00:48:03,957 QUESTION. MM-HMM. I HAVE ONE FILM LEFT IN THIS 1321 00:48:03,981 --> 00:48:04,825 MM-HMM. I HAVE ONE FILM LEFT IN THIS PRESENT CONTRACT. 1322 00:48:04,849 --> 00:48:05,793 I HAVE ONE FILM LEFT IN THIS PRESENT CONTRACT. WHEN DO YOU THINK... 1323 00:48:05,817 --> 00:48:06,794 PRESENT CONTRACT. WHEN DO YOU THINK... I WOULDN'T DO IT. 1324 00:48:06,818 --> 00:48:07,461 WHEN DO YOU THINK... I WOULDN'T DO IT. YOU WHAT? 1325 00:48:07,485 --> 00:48:08,462 I WOULDN'T DO IT. YOU WHAT? I WOULDN'T DO IT. 1326 00:48:08,486 --> 00:48:09,863 YOU WHAT? I WOULDN'T DO IT. IT'S NOT A MATTER OF "WOULD" 1327 00:48:09,887 --> 00:48:10,631 I WOULDN'T DO IT. IT'S NOT A MATTER OF "WOULD" OR "WOULDN'T." 1328 00:48:10,655 --> 00:48:12,032 IT'S NOT A MATTER OF "WOULD" OR "WOULDN'T." I HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE IT'S A 1329 00:48:12,056 --> 00:48:12,599 OR "WOULDN'T." I HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE IT'S A CONTRACT. 1330 00:48:12,623 --> 00:48:13,600 I HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE IT'S A CONTRACT. I WOULDN'T DO IT. 1331 00:48:13,624 --> 00:48:14,768 CONTRACT. I WOULDN'T DO IT. WELL, ALL RIGHT, NOW. 1332 00:48:14,792 --> 00:48:16,236 I WOULDN'T DO IT. WELL, ALL RIGHT, NOW. THAT'S DR. SCHUSTER SAYING THAT. 1333 00:48:16,260 --> 00:48:17,571 WELL, ALL RIGHT, NOW. THAT'S DR. SCHUSTER SAYING THAT. YOU WOULDN'T DO IT UNDER ANY 1334 00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:18,339 THAT'S DR. SCHUSTER SAYING THAT. YOU WOULDN'T DO IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES? 1335 00:48:18,363 --> 00:48:19,506 YOU WOULDN'T DO IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES? NO, SIR, I WOULD NOT. 1336 00:48:19,530 --> 00:48:20,441 CIRCUMSTANCES? NO, SIR, I WOULD NOT. ALL RIGHT, WELL, 1337 00:48:20,465 --> 00:48:21,174 NO, SIR, I WOULD NOT. ALL RIGHT, WELL, APPARENTLY... 1338 00:48:21,198 --> 00:48:22,409 ALL RIGHT, WELL, APPARENTLY... [DOORBELL BUZZES] 1339 00:48:22,433 --> 00:48:22,843 APPARENTLY... [DOORBELL BUZZES] YES? 1340 00:48:22,867 --> 00:48:23,377 [DOORBELL BUZZES] YES? WAIT. 1341 00:48:23,401 --> 00:48:23,877 YES? WAIT. WHAT? 1342 00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:24,645 WAIT. WHAT? HELLO? 1343 00:48:24,669 --> 00:48:25,979 WHAT? HELLO? NO, IT'S THE DOOR. 1344 00:48:26,003 --> 00:48:26,480 HELLO? NO, IT'S THE DOOR. WHAT? 1345 00:48:26,504 --> 00:48:27,448 NO, IT'S THE DOOR. WHAT? BROASTED CHICKEN! 1346 00:48:27,472 --> 00:48:28,649 WHAT? BROASTED CHICKEN! CAN YOU LET YOURSELF IN? 1347 00:48:28,673 --> 00:48:29,583 BROASTED CHICKEN! CAN YOU LET YOURSELF IN? I'M SICK. 1348 00:48:29,607 --> 00:48:31,352 CAN YOU LET YOURSELF IN? I'M SICK. IT'S BROASTED CHICKEN, 1349 00:48:31,376 --> 00:48:32,519 I'M SICK. IT'S BROASTED CHICKEN, DR. SCHUSTER. 1350 00:48:32,543 --> 00:48:33,286 IT'S BROASTED CHICKEN, DR. SCHUSTER. OH, FINE. 1351 00:48:33,310 --> 00:48:34,822 DR. SCHUSTER. OH, FINE. I THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR 1352 00:48:34,846 --> 00:48:36,122 OH, FINE. I THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR JOINING ME THIS EVENING. 1353 00:48:36,146 --> 00:48:37,691 I THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR JOINING ME THIS EVENING. ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE WELCOME. 1354 00:48:37,715 --> 00:48:39,059 JOINING ME THIS EVENING. ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE WELCOME. AND, UH, I'LL BE IN... 1355 00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:39,893 ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE WELCOME. AND, UH, I'LL BE IN... [Dial tone] 1356 00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:42,596 AND, UH, I'LL BE IN... [Dial tone] A LITTLE BIT LATER. 1357 00:48:42,620 --> 00:48:43,430 [Dial tone] A LITTLE BIT LATER. HERE'S YOUR CHICKEN. 1358 00:48:43,454 --> 00:48:45,733 A LITTLE BIT LATER. HERE'S YOUR CHICKEN. THANKS. 1359 00:48:45,757 --> 00:48:46,767 HERE'S YOUR CHICKEN. THANKS. WHAT YOU MAKING? 1360 00:48:46,791 --> 00:48:47,735 THANKS. WHAT YOU MAKING? MAKING A MOVIE. 1361 00:48:47,759 --> 00:48:48,469 WHAT YOU MAKING? MAKING A MOVIE. OH, YEAH? 1362 00:48:48,493 --> 00:48:49,403 MAKING A MOVIE. OH, YEAH? WHERE'S THE GIRL? 1363 00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:50,838 OH, YEAH? WHERE'S THE GIRL? GET AWAY FROM THERE, WOULD 1364 00:48:50,862 --> 00:48:51,405 WHERE'S THE GIRL? GET AWAY FROM THERE, WOULD YOU? 1365 00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:52,072 GET AWAY FROM THERE, WOULD YOU? GET AWAY. 1366 00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:52,973 YOU? GET AWAY. IT'S ALL RIGHT. 1367 00:48:52,997 --> 00:48:54,508 GET AWAY. IT'S ALL RIGHT. THE GIRL WILL BE HERE LATER. 1368 00:48:54,532 --> 00:48:56,042 IT'S ALL RIGHT. THE GIRL WILL BE HERE LATER. JUST STAY OUT OF THE CAMERA, 1369 00:48:56,066 --> 00:48:56,510 THE GIRL WILL BE HERE LATER. JUST STAY OUT OF THE CAMERA, OKAY? 1370 00:48:56,534 --> 00:48:58,144 JUST STAY OUT OF THE CAMERA, OKAY? 'CAUSE I HAVE TO PAY YOU A LOT 1371 00:48:58,168 --> 00:48:59,145 OKAY? 'CAUSE I HAVE TO PAY YOU A LOT OF MONEY IF NOT. 1372 00:48:59,169 --> 00:49:00,714 'CAUSE I HAVE TO PAY YOU A LOT OF MONEY IF NOT. HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU FOR THE 1373 00:49:00,738 --> 00:49:01,682 OF MONEY IF NOT. HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU FOR THE CHICKEN? 1374 00:49:01,706 --> 00:49:02,716 HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU FOR THE CHICKEN? $3.99. 1375 00:49:02,740 --> 00:49:03,684 CHICKEN? $3.99. OKAY. 1376 00:49:03,708 --> 00:49:08,255 $3.99. OKAY. [COUGHS] 1377 00:49:08,279 --> 00:49:09,423 OKAY. [COUGHS] HERE'S $4. 1378 00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:12,125 [COUGHS] HERE'S $4. LET'S SEE, THIS WILL BE PROPS, 1379 00:49:12,149 --> 00:49:13,093 HERE'S $4. LET'S SEE, THIS WILL BE PROPS, BROASTED CHICKEN. 1380 00:49:13,117 --> 00:49:14,661 LET'S SEE, THIS WILL BE PROPS, BROASTED CHICKEN. LET ME HAVE THE RECEIPT. OKAY. 1381 00:49:14,685 --> 00:49:16,062 BROASTED CHICKEN. LET ME HAVE THE RECEIPT. OKAY. WHY DO THEY CALL THIS STUFF 1382 00:49:16,086 --> 00:49:17,364 LET ME HAVE THE RECEIPT. OKAY. WHY DO THEY CALL THIS STUFF "BROASTED," DO YOU KNOW? 1383 00:49:17,388 --> 00:49:18,298 WHY DO THEY CALL THIS STUFF "BROASTED," DO YOU KNOW? I DON'T KNOW. 1384 00:49:18,322 --> 00:49:19,833 "BROASTED," DO YOU KNOW? I DON'T KNOW. A LADY AT THE PLACE TOLD ME 1385 00:49:19,857 --> 00:49:21,502 I DON'T KNOW. A LADY AT THE PLACE TOLD ME THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO USE LESS FAT 1386 00:49:21,526 --> 00:49:22,903 A LADY AT THE PLACE TOLD ME THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO USE LESS FAT WHEN THEY FRY BROASTED THAN 1387 00:49:22,927 --> 00:49:23,470 THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO USE LESS FAT WHEN THEY FRY BROASTED THAN REGULAR. 1388 00:49:23,494 --> 00:49:25,038 WHEN THEY FRY BROASTED THAN REGULAR. BUT HERE'S BROASTED I GOT THIS 1389 00:49:25,062 --> 00:49:26,440 REGULAR. BUT HERE'S BROASTED I GOT THIS MORNING, AND HERE'S REGULAR I 1390 00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:27,274 BUT HERE'S BROASTED I GOT THIS MORNING, AND HERE'S REGULAR I HAD LAST NIGHT. 1391 00:49:27,298 --> 00:49:28,809 MORNING, AND HERE'S REGULAR I HAD LAST NIGHT. IT LOOKS LIKE THE SAME AMOUNT OF 1392 00:49:28,833 --> 00:49:29,676 HAD LAST NIGHT. IT LOOKS LIKE THE SAME AMOUNT OF FAT, DOESN'T IT? 1393 00:49:29,700 --> 00:49:30,544 IT LOOKS LIKE THE SAME AMOUNT OF FAT, DOESN'T IT? I DON'T KNOW. 1394 00:49:30,568 --> 00:49:32,045 FAT, DOESN'T IT? I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, WHY DO... WHY SHOULD 1395 00:49:32,069 --> 00:49:32,880 I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, WHY DO... WHY SHOULD I EVEN EAT THIS? 1396 00:49:32,904 --> 00:49:34,381 I MEAN, WHY DO... WHY SHOULD I EVEN EAT THIS? IF I PUT IT RIGHT OVER MY HEART, 1397 00:49:34,405 --> 00:49:35,783 I EVEN EAT THIS? IF I PUT IT RIGHT OVER MY HEART, IT'LL GET THERE FASTER, WON'T 1398 00:49:35,807 --> 00:49:36,082 IF I PUT IT RIGHT OVER MY HEART, IT'LL GET THERE FASTER, WON'T IT? 1399 00:49:36,106 --> 00:49:37,551 IT'LL GET THERE FASTER, WON'T IT? YOU'RE ALBERT BROOKS, AREN'T 1400 00:49:37,575 --> 00:49:39,152 IT? YOU'RE ALBERT BROOKS, AREN'T YOU? 1401 00:49:39,176 --> 00:49:40,320 YOU'RE ALBERT BROOKS, AREN'T YOU? YES. YES, I AM. 1402 00:49:40,344 --> 00:49:42,088 YOU? YES. YES, I AM. MAN, I REALLY LIKE YOUR NEW 1403 00:49:42,112 --> 00:49:42,689 YES. YES, I AM. MAN, I REALLY LIKE YOUR NEW RECORD. 1404 00:49:42,713 --> 00:49:43,490 MAN, I REALLY LIKE YOUR NEW RECORD. IT'S GREAT. 1405 00:49:43,514 --> 00:49:45,258 RECORD. IT'S GREAT. OH, WELL, THAT'S VERY, VERY 1406 00:49:45,282 --> 00:49:45,759 IT'S GREAT. OH, WELL, THAT'S VERY, VERY NICE. 1407 00:49:45,783 --> 00:49:47,360 OH, WELL, THAT'S VERY, VERY NICE. WHAT RECORD ARE YOU TALKING 1408 00:49:47,384 --> 00:49:48,629 NICE. WHAT RECORD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1409 00:49:48,653 --> 00:49:50,096 WHAT RECORD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? A [BLEEP] ON A [BLEEP] 1410 00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:51,231 ABOUT? A [BLEEP] ON A [BLEEP] RECORDS AND TAPES. 1411 00:49:51,255 --> 00:49:52,566 A [BLEEP] ON A [BLEEP] RECORDS AND TAPES. OH, YES, THANK YOU. 1412 00:49:52,590 --> 00:49:53,967 RECORDS AND TAPES. OH, YES, THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY, VERY NICE. 1413 00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:55,636 OH, YES, THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY, VERY NICE. WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE KNOW 1414 00:49:55,660 --> 00:49:56,336 THAT'S VERY, VERY NICE. WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT IT? 1415 00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:57,370 WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT IT? I DON'T KNOW. 1416 00:49:57,394 --> 00:49:58,238 ABOUT IT? I DON'T KNOW. I JUST DON'T KNOW. 1417 00:49:58,262 --> 00:49:59,440 I DON'T KNOW. I JUST DON'T KNOW. WHY DOESN'T YOUR RECORD 1418 00:49:59,464 --> 00:50:00,441 I JUST DON'T KNOW. WHY DOESN'T YOUR RECORD COMPANY TAKE OUT ADS? 1419 00:50:00,465 --> 00:50:01,775 WHY DOESN'T YOUR RECORD COMPANY TAKE OUT ADS? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. 1420 00:50:01,799 --> 00:50:03,009 COMPANY TAKE OUT ADS? I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, WHAT DO THEY DO, 1421 00:50:03,033 --> 00:50:04,377 I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, WHAT DO THEY DO, SPEND ALL THEIR MONEY PROMOTING 1422 00:50:04,401 --> 00:50:05,178 I MEAN, WHAT DO THEY DO, SPEND ALL THEIR MONEY PROMOTING THE EAGLES? 1423 00:50:05,202 --> 00:50:06,246 SPEND ALL THEIR MONEY PROMOTING THE EAGLES? I DON'T KNOW. 1424 00:50:06,270 --> 00:50:07,714 THE EAGLES? I DON'T KNOW. WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. 1425 00:50:07,738 --> 00:50:08,549 I DON'T KNOW. WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. [SNEEZES] 1426 00:50:08,573 --> 00:50:10,016 WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. [SNEEZES] IT'S SURE A GREAT ALBUM. 1427 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:11,552 [SNEEZES] IT'S SURE A GREAT ALBUM. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. 1428 00:50:11,576 --> 00:50:12,753 IT'S SURE A GREAT ALBUM. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY, VERY NICE. 1429 00:50:12,777 --> 00:50:14,054 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY, VERY NICE. THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. 1430 00:50:14,078 --> 00:50:15,388 THAT'S VERY, VERY NICE. THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. SAY... SAY HELLO, WILL YOU? 1431 00:50:15,412 --> 00:50:16,790 THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. SAY... SAY HELLO, WILL YOU? YOU CAN SAY HELLO. GO AHEAD. 1432 00:50:16,814 --> 00:50:17,390 SAY... SAY HELLO, WILL YOU? YOU CAN SAY HELLO. GO AHEAD. HELLO! 1433 00:50:17,414 --> 00:50:19,526 YOU CAN SAY HELLO. GO AHEAD. HELLO! OKAY. LET YOURSELF OUT. 1434 00:50:19,550 --> 00:50:20,293 HELLO! OKAY. LET YOURSELF OUT. THANK YOU. 1435 00:50:20,317 --> 00:50:20,961 OKAY. LET YOURSELF OUT. THANK YOU. SURE. 1436 00:50:20,985 --> 00:50:22,696 THANK YOU. SURE. WELL, THAT MAKES ME FEEL A 1437 00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:23,664 SURE. WELL, THAT MAKES ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER. 1438 00:50:23,688 --> 00:50:24,998 WELL, THAT MAKES ME FEEL A LITTLE BETTER. I HAVE A MINUTE LEFT, AND... 1439 00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:26,399 LITTLE BETTER. I HAVE A MINUTE LEFT, AND... OH, A FRIEND OF MINE WANTED 1440 00:50:26,423 --> 00:50:27,067 I HAVE A MINUTE LEFT, AND... OH, A FRIEND OF MINE WANTED ME TO ASK... 1441 00:50:27,091 --> 00:50:27,601 OH, A FRIEND OF MINE WANTED ME TO ASK... YEAH? 1442 00:50:27,625 --> 00:50:29,002 ME TO ASK... YEAH? WHAT'S THE CATALOG NUMBER 1443 00:50:29,026 --> 00:50:29,503 YEAH? WHAT'S THE CATALOG NUMBER ON THAT? 1444 00:50:29,527 --> 00:50:30,737 WHAT'S THE CATALOG NUMBER ON THAT? OH, TELL YOUR FRIEND HE 1445 00:50:30,761 --> 00:50:31,939 ON THAT? OH, TELL YOUR FRIEND HE DOESN'T NEED THE CATALOG 1446 00:50:31,963 --> 00:50:32,405 OH, TELL YOUR FRIEND HE DOESN'T NEED THE CATALOG NUMBER. 1447 00:50:32,429 --> 00:50:34,708 DOESN'T NEED THE CATALOG NUMBER. JUST ASK FOR [BLEEP] ON A 1448 00:50:34,732 --> 00:50:35,742 NUMBER. JUST ASK FOR [BLEEP] ON A [BLEEP] RECORDS. 1449 00:50:35,766 --> 00:50:37,243 JUST ASK FOR [BLEEP] ON A [BLEEP] RECORDS. TELL HIM IT MAKES A GREAT 1450 00:50:37,267 --> 00:50:38,211 [BLEEP] RECORDS. TELL HIM IT MAKES A GREAT HANUKKAH GIFT. 1451 00:50:38,235 --> 00:50:39,045 TELL HIM IT MAKES A GREAT HANUKKAH GIFT. RIGHT ON! 1452 00:50:39,069 --> 00:50:40,848 HANUKKAH GIFT. RIGHT ON! OKAY. 1453 00:50:40,872 --> 00:50:42,415 RIGHT ON! OKAY. I'M JUST ABOUT THROUGH HERE 1454 00:50:42,439 --> 00:50:43,049 OKAY. I'M JUST ABOUT THROUGH HERE TONIGHT. 1455 00:50:43,073 --> 00:50:44,885 I'M JUST ABOUT THROUGH HERE TONIGHT. BEFORE I GO, I'D LIKE TO SAY ONE 1456 00:50:44,909 --> 00:50:46,019 TONIGHT. BEFORE I GO, I'D LIKE TO SAY ONE THING. 1457 00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:47,754 BEFORE I GO, I'D LIKE TO SAY ONE THING. YOU KNOW, MAKING FILM IS A 1458 00:50:47,778 --> 00:50:49,089 THING. YOU KNOW, MAKING FILM IS A COOPERATIVE EFFORT. 1459 00:50:49,113 --> 00:50:51,157 YOU KNOW, MAKING FILM IS A COOPERATIVE EFFORT. IT TAKES A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE 1460 00:50:51,181 --> 00:50:53,026 COOPERATIVE EFFORT. IT TAKES A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO PUT OUT GOOD WORK. 1461 00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:54,995 IT TAKES A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO PUT OUT GOOD WORK. THERE'S BEEN ONE GENTLEMAN WHO 1462 00:50:55,019 --> 00:50:56,730 WILLING TO PUT OUT GOOD WORK. THERE'S BEEN ONE GENTLEMAN WHO WORKS AT A VERY LARGE FILM 1463 00:50:56,754 --> 00:50:58,331 THERE'S BEEN ONE GENTLEMAN WHO WORKS AT A VERY LARGE FILM PROCESSING HOUSE HERE IN 1464 00:50:58,355 --> 00:50:59,265 WORKS AT A VERY LARGE FILM PROCESSING HOUSE HERE IN LOS ANGELES. 1465 00:50:59,289 --> 00:51:01,134 PROCESSING HOUSE HERE IN LOS ANGELES. I ASKED HIM TO WATCH TONIGHT. 1466 00:51:01,158 --> 00:51:02,970 LOS ANGELES. I ASKED HIM TO WATCH TONIGHT. HE'S NEVER PUT OUT GOOD WORK. 1467 00:51:02,994 --> 00:51:04,972 I ASKED HIM TO WATCH TONIGHT. HE'S NEVER PUT OUT GOOD WORK. I'M NOT GONNA MENTION HIS NAME. 1468 00:51:04,996 --> 00:51:06,106 HE'S NEVER PUT OUT GOOD WORK. I'M NOT GONNA MENTION HIS NAME. OH, YES, I WILL. 1469 00:51:06,130 --> 00:51:07,641 I'M NOT GONNA MENTION HIS NAME. OH, YES, I WILL. JACK STANTON IS HIS NAME. 1470 00:51:07,665 --> 00:51:09,510 OH, YES, I WILL. JACK STANTON IS HIS NAME. NOW, FROM THE VERY BEGINNING OF 1471 00:51:09,534 --> 00:51:11,277 JACK STANTON IS HIS NAME. NOW, FROM THE VERY BEGINNING OF THESE FILMS, HE'S THE MAN WHO 1472 00:51:11,301 --> 00:51:12,980 NOW, FROM THE VERY BEGINNING OF THESE FILMS, HE'S THE MAN WHO SAYS, "THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT. 1473 00:51:13,004 --> 00:51:14,381 THESE FILMS, HE'S THE MAN WHO SAYS, "THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT. THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT." 1474 00:51:14,405 --> 00:51:16,249 SAYS, "THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT. THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT." YOU SAY TO HIM, "JACK, IT'S TOO 1475 00:51:16,273 --> 00:51:16,750 THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT." YOU SAY TO HIM, "JACK, IT'S TOO RED." 1476 00:51:16,774 --> 00:51:17,985 YOU SAY TO HIM, "JACK, IT'S TOO RED." "THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT." 1477 00:51:18,009 --> 00:51:18,986 RED." "THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT." "IT'S TOO GREEN." 1478 00:51:19,010 --> 00:51:20,220 "THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT." "IT'S TOO GREEN." "THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT." 1479 00:51:20,244 --> 00:51:21,555 "IT'S TOO GREEN." "THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT." WELL, YOU KNOW SOMETHING? 1480 00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:22,856 "THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT." WELL, YOU KNOW SOMETHING? MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT, JACK. 1481 00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:24,257 WELL, YOU KNOW SOMETHING? MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT, JACK. MAYBE THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT. 1482 00:51:24,281 --> 00:51:25,893 MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT, JACK. MAYBE THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT. BUT IF THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT, I'M 1483 00:51:25,917 --> 00:51:27,293 MAYBE THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT. BUT IF THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT, I'M SURE THEY'LL NEVER SEE THIS 1484 00:51:27,317 --> 00:51:33,600 BUT IF THEY'LL NEVER SEE IT, I'M SURE THEY'LL NEVER SEE THIS EITHER, JACK. 1485 00:51:33,624 --> 00:51:35,301 SURE THEY'LL NEVER SEE THIS EITHER, JACK. I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN IN THREE 1486 00:51:35,325 --> 00:51:35,903 EITHER, JACK. I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN IN THREE WEEKS. 1487 00:51:35,927 --> 00:51:37,604 I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN IN THREE WEEKS. I HOPE TO BE BETTER BY THAT 1488 00:51:37,628 --> 00:51:38,204 WEEKS. I HOPE TO BE BETTER BY THAT TIME. 1489 00:51:38,228 --> 00:51:38,906 I HOPE TO BE BETTER BY THAT TIME. I FOR... 1490 00:51:38,930 --> 00:51:43,076 TIME. I FOR... [COUGHS] 1491 00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:44,011 I FOR... [COUGHS] I... 1492 00:51:44,035 --> 00:51:45,546 [COUGHS] I... [COUGHS] 1493 00:51:45,570 --> 00:51:46,914 I... [COUGHS] I CAN'T TALK. 1494 00:51:46,938 --> 00:51:48,048 [COUGHS] I CAN'T TALK. [COUGHS] 1495 00:51:48,072 --> 00:51:49,016 I CAN'T TALK. [COUGHS] OH, NO! 1496 00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,675 [COUGHS] OH, NO! [COUGHS] 1497 00:51:59,249 --> 00:52:03,397 THANK YOU. WE'D LIKE TO SAY THAT... RICHARD! 1498 00:52:03,421 --> 00:52:04,164 WE'D LIKE TO SAY THAT... RICHARD! TELL THE TRUTH! 1499 00:52:04,188 --> 00:52:04,932 RICHARD! TELL THE TRUTH! TELL THE TRUTH! 1500 00:52:04,956 --> 00:52:05,632 TELL THE TRUTH! TELL THE TRUTH! I HAVE PROOF! 1501 00:52:05,656 --> 00:52:07,000 TELL THE TRUTH! I HAVE PROOF! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1502 00:52:07,024 --> 00:52:08,335 I HAVE PROOF! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THERE WERE TWO ASSASSINS IN 1503 00:52:08,359 --> 00:52:08,936 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THERE WERE TWO ASSASSINS IN DALLAS. 1504 00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:09,970 THERE WERE TWO ASSASSINS IN DALLAS. THERE WERE TWO! 1505 00:52:09,994 --> 00:52:10,870 DALLAS. THERE WERE TWO! I HAVE PROOF. 1506 00:52:10,894 --> 00:52:12,039 THERE WERE TWO! I HAVE PROOF. I HAVE TRUE PROOF. 1507 00:52:12,063 --> 00:52:13,941 I HAVE PROOF. I HAVE TRUE PROOF. OSWALD COLLABORATED WITH THE CIA 1508 00:52:13,965 --> 00:52:15,208 I HAVE TRUE PROOF. OSWALD COLLABORATED WITH THE CIA ONE MONTH BEFORE THE 1509 00:52:15,232 --> 00:52:16,176 OSWALD COLLABORATED WITH THE CIA ONE MONTH BEFORE THE ASSASSINATION. 1510 00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,011 ONE MONTH BEFORE THE ASSASSINATION. THERE WERE SHOTS FIRED FROM THE 1511 00:52:18,035 --> 00:52:19,146 ASSASSINATION. THERE WERE SHOTS FIRED FROM THE GRASSY KNOLL AREA! 1512 00:52:19,170 --> 00:52:21,848 THERE WERE SHOTS FIRED FROM THE GRASSY KNOLL AREA! [GUNSHOT] 1513 00:52:21,872 --> 00:52:23,650 GRASSY KNOLL AREA! [GUNSHOT] UH, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH 1514 00:52:23,674 --> 00:52:24,151 [GUNSHOT] UH, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. 1515 00:52:24,175 --> 00:52:25,018 UH, I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. [LAUGHTER] 1516 00:52:25,042 --> 00:52:26,553 THIS. [LAUGHTER] DICK GREGORY STARTED THIS. 1517 00:52:26,577 --> 00:52:28,355 [LAUGHTER] DICK GREGORY STARTED THIS. I DIDN'T DO NOTHING ABOUT THIS. 1518 00:52:28,379 --> 00:52:31,779 DICK GREGORY STARTED THIS. I DIDN'T DO NOTHING ABOUT THIS. I DON'T CARE WHO KILLED WHO. 1519 00:52:36,852 --> 00:52:44,852 Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SHELLEY PRYOR. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1520 00:52:46,330 --> 00:52:47,774 GENTLEMEN, SHELLEY PRYOR. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] YOU KNOW, THIS BEING THE 1521 00:52:47,798 --> 00:52:49,041 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] YOU KNOW, THIS BEING THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY AND 1522 00:52:49,065 --> 00:52:50,477 YOU KNOW, THIS BEING THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY AND EVERYTHING, I'VE WRITTEN A 1523 00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:52,011 SEASON TO BE JOLLY AND EVERYTHING, I'VE WRITTEN A LITTLE STORY TO HELP YOU GET 1524 00:52:52,035 --> 00:52:53,179 EVERYTHING, I'VE WRITTEN A LITTLE STORY TO HELP YOU GET YOUR JOLLIES. 1525 00:52:53,203 --> 00:52:54,581 LITTLE STORY TO HELP YOU GET YOUR JOLLIES. AND IT'S ABOUT MY MOST FAVORITE 1526 00:52:54,605 --> 00:52:55,982 YOUR JOLLIES. AND IT'S ABOUT MY MOST FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD, THE CAROUSEL 1527 00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:56,816 AND IT'S ABOUT MY MOST FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD, THE CAROUSEL IN CENTRAL PARK. 1528 00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:57,917 PLACE IN THE WORLD, THE CAROUSEL IN CENTRAL PARK. [CALLIOPE MUSIC PLAYS] 1529 00:52:57,941 --> 00:53:00,253 IN CENTRAL PARK. [CALLIOPE MUSIC PLAYS] YOU SEE, ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE 1530 00:53:00,277 --> 00:53:02,322 [CALLIOPE MUSIC PLAYS] YOU SEE, ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WHITE 1531 00:53:02,346 --> 00:53:04,791 YOU SEE, ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WHITE CAROUSEL WITH TWO HORSES IN 1532 00:53:04,815 --> 00:53:05,792 WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WHITE CAROUSEL WITH TWO HORSES IN LOVE. 1533 00:53:05,816 --> 00:53:08,194 CAROUSEL WITH TWO HORSES IN LOVE. NOW HERE'S THEIR STORY I TELL. 1534 00:53:08,218 --> 00:53:09,829 LOVE. NOW HERE'S THEIR STORY I TELL. NOW, THE BOY'S NAME WAS CHING, 1535 00:53:09,853 --> 00:53:11,898 NOW HERE'S THEIR STORY I TELL. NOW, THE BOY'S NAME WAS CHING, AND THE GIRL'S NAME WAS JING, 1536 00:53:11,922 --> 00:53:13,600 NOW, THE BOY'S NAME WAS CHING, AND THE GIRL'S NAME WAS JING, AND THEIR LOVE WAS ABOUNDING, 1537 00:53:13,624 --> 00:53:15,669 AND THE GIRL'S NAME WAS JING, AND THEIR LOVE WAS ABOUNDING, A MOST WONDERFUL THING... 1538 00:53:15,693 --> 00:53:16,936 AND THEIR LOVE WAS ABOUNDING, A MOST WONDERFUL THING... UNTIL ONE DAY... 1539 00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:18,538 A MOST WONDERFUL THING... UNTIL ONE DAY... [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS] 1540 00:53:18,562 --> 00:53:20,473 UNTIL ONE DAY... [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS] WELL, YOU SEE, CHING WAS A 1541 00:53:20,497 --> 00:53:21,541 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS] WELL, YOU SEE, CHING WAS A CAROUSEL HORSE. 1542 00:53:21,565 --> 00:53:23,376 WELL, YOU SEE, CHING WAS A CAROUSEL HORSE. NOW, HE WAS ONE OUT OF ONE 1543 00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:24,210 CAROUSEL HORSE. NOW, HE WAS ONE OUT OF ONE DOZEN. 1544 00:53:24,234 --> 00:53:25,912 NOW, HE WAS ONE OUT OF ONE DOZEN. BUT HE COULDN'T GO UP AND DOWN, 1545 00:53:25,936 --> 00:53:27,880 DOZEN. BUT HE COULDN'T GO UP AND DOWN, LIKE HIS UNCLES OR HIS COUSINS. 1546 00:53:27,904 --> 00:53:29,482 BUT HE COULDN'T GO UP AND DOWN, LIKE HIS UNCLES OR HIS COUSINS. WELL, THIS MADE CHING VERY, VERY 1547 00:53:29,506 --> 00:53:30,617 LIKE HIS UNCLES OR HIS COUSINS. WELL, THIS MADE CHING VERY, VERY SAD... 1548 00:53:30,641 --> 00:53:32,051 WELL, THIS MADE CHING VERY, VERY SAD... BECAUSE GOING UP AND DOWN MADE 1549 00:53:32,075 --> 00:53:33,186 SAD... BECAUSE GOING UP AND DOWN MADE CHILDREN GLAD. 1550 00:53:33,210 --> 00:53:34,821 BECAUSE GOING UP AND DOWN MADE CHILDREN GLAD. AND EVERY SUNDAY THEY WOULD RUN 1551 00:53:34,845 --> 00:53:35,789 CHILDREN GLAD. AND EVERY SUNDAY THEY WOULD RUN TO THE PARK 1552 00:53:35,813 --> 00:53:36,856 AND EVERY SUNDAY THEY WOULD RUN TO THE PARK AND RIDE ON THE CAROUSEL 1553 00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:38,391 TO THE PARK AND RIDE ON THE CAROUSEL UNTIL WAY AFTER DARK. 1554 00:53:38,415 --> 00:53:39,992 AND RIDE ON THE CAROUSEL UNTIL WAY AFTER DARK. BUT THEY WOULDN'T RIDE CHING. 1555 00:53:40,016 --> 00:53:41,994 UNTIL WAY AFTER DARK. BUT THEY WOULDN'T RIDE CHING. NOW, THAT, OF COURSE, IS A VERY 1556 00:53:42,018 --> 00:53:43,996 BUT THEY WOULDN'T RIDE CHING. NOW, THAT, OF COURSE, IS A VERY SAD THING. 1557 00:53:44,020 --> 00:53:47,967 NOW, THAT, OF COURSE, IS A VERY SAD THING. WELL, YOU SEE, CHING USED TO BE 1558 00:53:47,991 --> 00:53:50,537 SAD THING. WELL, YOU SEE, CHING USED TO BE ABLE TO GO UP AND DOWN 1559 00:53:50,561 --> 00:53:52,905 WELL, YOU SEE, CHING USED TO BE ABLE TO GO UP AND DOWN UNTIL ONE DAY THIS FAT LADY 1560 00:53:52,929 --> 00:53:54,507 ABLE TO GO UP AND DOWN UNTIL ONE DAY THIS FAT LADY ROLLED INTO TOWN. 1561 00:53:54,531 --> 00:53:56,075 UNTIL ONE DAY THIS FAT LADY ROLLED INTO TOWN. AND SHE HEARD THE MUSIC, AND SHE 1562 00:53:56,099 --> 00:53:57,510 ROLLED INTO TOWN. AND SHE HEARD THE MUSIC, AND SHE COULD TELL THAT THE MUSIC CAME 1563 00:53:57,534 --> 00:53:59,078 AND SHE HEARD THE MUSIC, AND SHE COULD TELL THAT THE MUSIC CAME FROM THE CAROUSEL, AND CAROUSELS 1564 00:53:59,102 --> 00:54:00,547 COULD TELL THAT THE MUSIC CAME FROM THE CAROUSEL, AND CAROUSELS WERE HER FAVORITE THING. 1565 00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:01,748 FROM THE CAROUSEL, AND CAROUSELS WERE HER FAVORITE THING. SO SHE RAN TO THE PARK, WHERE 1566 00:54:01,772 --> 00:54:02,782 WERE HER FAVORITE THING. SO SHE RAN TO THE PARK, WHERE SHE SAW LITTLE CHING, 1567 00:54:02,806 --> 00:54:04,751 SO SHE RAN TO THE PARK, WHERE SHE SAW LITTLE CHING, AND SHE JUMPED ON CHING... 1568 00:54:04,775 --> 00:54:07,053 SHE SAW LITTLE CHING, AND SHE JUMPED ON CHING... AND BROKE HIS SPRING. 1569 00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:08,755 AND SHE JUMPED ON CHING... AND BROKE HIS SPRING. AND THAT WAS THE END OF HIS 1570 00:54:08,779 --> 00:54:10,690 AND BROKE HIS SPRING. AND THAT WAS THE END OF HIS UP-AND-DOWN THING. 1571 00:54:10,714 --> 00:54:13,025 AND THAT WAS THE END OF HIS UP-AND-DOWN THING. WELL, THEN... THEN THE GROWN-UP 1572 00:54:13,049 --> 00:54:14,994 UP-AND-DOWN THING. WELL, THEN... THEN THE GROWN-UP PEOPLE CAME, AND THEY TOOK CHING 1573 00:54:15,018 --> 00:54:16,663 WELL, THEN... THEN THE GROWN-UP PEOPLE CAME, AND THEY TOOK CHING OFF THE CAROUSEL TO THIS TUNNEL 1574 00:54:16,687 --> 00:54:17,797 PEOPLE CAME, AND THEY TOOK CHING OFF THE CAROUSEL TO THIS TUNNEL UNDERGROUND. 1575 00:54:17,821 --> 00:54:19,065 OFF THE CAROUSEL TO THIS TUNNEL UNDERGROUND. AND THEY STRIPPED HIS WHITE 1576 00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:20,900 UNDERGROUND. AND THEY STRIPPED HIS WHITE PAINT, AND THEY COLORED HIM 1577 00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:22,001 AND THEY STRIPPED HIS WHITE PAINT, AND THEY COLORED HIM BROWN. 1578 00:54:22,025 --> 00:54:23,837 PAINT, AND THEY COLORED HIM BROWN. AND THEY TIED A LITTLE COWBOY 1579 00:54:23,861 --> 00:54:25,672 BROWN. AND THEY TIED A LITTLE COWBOY SCARF AROUND HIS NECK, AND THEY 1580 00:54:25,696 --> 00:54:27,574 AND THEY TIED A LITTLE COWBOY SCARF AROUND HIS NECK, AND THEY NAILED A LITTLE METAL BOX TO HIS 1581 00:54:27,598 --> 00:54:28,641 SCARF AROUND HIS NECK, AND THEY NAILED A LITTLE METAL BOX TO HIS SIDE. 1582 00:54:28,665 --> 00:54:29,676 NAILED A LITTLE METAL BOX TO HIS SIDE. AND HE CARRIED THIS SIGN THAT 1583 00:54:29,700 --> 00:54:31,411 SIDE. AND HE CARRIED THIS SIGN THAT SAID, "10 CENTS A RIDE." 1584 00:54:31,435 --> 00:54:32,479 AND HE CARRIED THIS SIGN THAT SAID, "10 CENTS A RIDE." AND THEY PUT HIM IN FRONT OF A 1585 00:54:32,503 --> 00:54:33,780 SAID, "10 CENTS A RIDE." AND THEY PUT HIM IN FRONT OF A SUPERMARKET ON THE OTHER SIDE OF 1586 00:54:33,804 --> 00:54:34,914 AND THEY PUT HIM IN FRONT OF A SUPERMARKET ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN... 1587 00:54:34,938 --> 00:54:36,716 SUPERMARKET ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN... AND NOW HE JUST ROCKS BACK AND 1588 00:54:36,740 --> 00:54:38,150 TOWN... AND NOW HE JUST ROCKS BACK AND FORTH. 1589 00:54:38,174 --> 00:54:40,620 AND NOW HE JUST ROCKS BACK AND FORTH. HE COULDN'T GO UP AND DOWN. 1590 00:54:40,644 --> 00:54:41,721 FORTH. HE COULDN'T GO UP AND DOWN. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 1591 00:54:41,745 --> 00:54:43,456 HE COULDN'T GO UP AND DOWN. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? JING-A-LING... SHE STILL LOVED 1592 00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,324 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? JING-A-LING... SHE STILL LOVED HIM VERY, VERY MUCH, EVEN THOUGH 1593 00:54:45,348 --> 00:54:46,926 JING-A-LING... SHE STILL LOVED HIM VERY, VERY MUCH, EVEN THOUGH HER FRIENDS WOULD ALL FIDDLE. 1594 00:54:46,950 --> 00:54:49,228 HIM VERY, VERY MUCH, EVEN THOUGH HER FRIENDS WOULD ALL FIDDLE. "NOW, LISTEN, YOU CAN'T LOVE A 1595 00:54:49,252 --> 00:54:50,329 HER FRIENDS WOULD ALL FIDDLE. "NOW, LISTEN, YOU CAN'T LOVE A HORSE LIKE HIM. 1596 00:54:50,353 --> 00:54:51,498 "NOW, LISTEN, YOU CAN'T LOVE A HORSE LIKE HIM. I MEAN, HE DOESN'T HAVE A 1597 00:54:51,522 --> 00:54:52,565 HORSE LIKE HIM. I MEAN, HE DOESN'T HAVE A SPRING. 1598 00:54:52,589 --> 00:54:54,000 I MEAN, HE DOESN'T HAVE A SPRING. NOW, THINK ABOUT YOUR KIDS. 1599 00:54:54,024 --> 00:54:57,103 SPRING. NOW, THINK ABOUT YOUR KIDS. THEY'LL BE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE." 1600 00:54:57,127 --> 00:54:58,638 NOW, THINK ABOUT YOUR KIDS. THEY'LL BE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE." WELL, COME ON. 1601 00:54:58,662 --> 00:54:59,672 THEY'LL BE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE." WELL, COME ON. I MEAN, STUCK IN THE MIDDLE 1602 00:54:59,696 --> 00:55:00,774 WELL, COME ON. I MEAN, STUCK IN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE A 1603 00:55:00,798 --> 00:55:01,808 I MEAN, STUCK IN THE MIDDLE BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE A SPRING? 1604 00:55:01,832 --> 00:55:03,175 BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE A SPRING? NOW, WHY SHOULD TRUE FRIENDS 1605 00:55:03,199 --> 00:55:05,011 SPRING? NOW, WHY SHOULD TRUE FRIENDS BE WORRIED ABOUT SUCH A THING? 1606 00:55:05,035 --> 00:55:07,747 NOW, WHY SHOULD TRUE FRIENDS BE WORRIED ABOUT SUCH A THING? OR WAS IT THAT HE LIVED ON THE 1607 00:55:07,771 --> 00:55:09,582 BE WORRIED ABOUT SUCH A THING? OR WAS IT THAT HE LIVED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN... 1608 00:55:09,606 --> 00:55:11,117 OR WAS IT THAT HE LIVED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN... AND THAT SHE WAS WHITE... 1609 00:55:11,141 --> 00:55:13,286 OTHER SIDE OF TOWN... AND THAT SHE WAS WHITE... AND HE WAS BROWN? 1610 00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:14,554 AND THAT SHE WAS WHITE... AND HE WAS BROWN? WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY VERY 1611 00:55:14,578 --> 00:55:16,790 AND HE WAS BROWN? WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY VERY FUNNY THAT EVEN TO THIS DAY SOME 1612 00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:19,058 WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY VERY FUNNY THAT EVEN TO THIS DAY SOME CAROUSEL HORSES AND PONIES THAT 1613 00:55:19,082 --> 00:55:21,093 FUNNY THAT EVEN TO THIS DAY SOME CAROUSEL HORSES AND PONIES THAT ROCK AND, YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE, 1614 00:55:21,117 --> 00:55:23,262 CAROUSEL HORSES AND PONIES THAT ROCK AND, YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE, TOO, ARE STILL IN SHOCK. 1615 00:55:23,286 --> 00:55:25,231 ROCK AND, YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE, TOO, ARE STILL IN SHOCK. I MEAN, IT REALLY IS A SHAME 1616 00:55:25,255 --> 00:55:27,534 TOO, ARE STILL IN SHOCK. I MEAN, IT REALLY IS A SHAME THAT NO ONE EVER UNDERSTOOD 1617 00:55:27,558 --> 00:55:29,669 I MEAN, IT REALLY IS A SHAME THAT NO ONE EVER UNDERSTOOD THAT UNDERNEATH THEIR PAINT, 1618 00:55:29,693 --> 00:55:31,571 THAT NO ONE EVER UNDERSTOOD THAT UNDERNEATH THEIR PAINT, THEY WERE ALL MADE OF WOOD. 1619 00:55:31,595 --> 00:55:33,406 THAT UNDERNEATH THEIR PAINT, THEY WERE ALL MADE OF WOOD. BUT I, UH, I GUESS THAT'S A 1620 00:55:33,430 --> 00:55:35,274 THEY WERE ALL MADE OF WOOD. BUT I, UH, I GUESS THAT'S A HORSE OF ANOTHER COLOR, HUH? 1621 00:55:35,298 --> 00:55:38,338 BUT I, UH, I GUESS THAT'S A HORSE OF ANOTHER COLOR, HUH? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1622 00:55:50,380 --> 00:55:55,829 THE PICTURES THAT YOU SAW ON THE TV BETWEEN THE COMMERCIALS... THAT'S MY FAMILY. 1623 00:55:55,853 --> 00:55:56,930 THE TV BETWEEN THE COMMERCIALS... THAT'S MY FAMILY. THAT'S MY GRANDMOTHER... THE 1624 00:55:56,954 --> 00:55:57,897 COMMERCIALS... THAT'S MY FAMILY. THAT'S MY GRANDMOTHER... THE LAST ONE. 1625 00:55:57,921 --> 00:55:58,998 THAT'S MY GRANDMOTHER... THE LAST ONE. YEAH. 1626 00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:02,602 LAST ONE. YEAH. [APPLAUSE] 1627 00:56:02,626 --> 00:56:04,170 YEAH. [APPLAUSE] I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK I WAS 1628 00:56:04,194 --> 00:56:05,605 [APPLAUSE] I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK I WAS SELLING MY FAMILY OR NOTHING, 1629 00:56:05,629 --> 00:56:06,573 I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK I WAS SELLING MY FAMILY OR NOTHING, YOU KNOW. 1630 00:56:06,597 --> 00:56:07,841 SELLING MY FAMILY OR NOTHING, YOU KNOW. GRANDMOTHER RAISED ME. 1631 00:56:07,865 --> 00:56:09,242 YOU KNOW. GRANDMOTHER RAISED ME. USED TO SEND ME TO CHURCH AND 1632 00:56:09,266 --> 00:56:10,310 GRANDMOTHER RAISED ME. USED TO SEND ME TO CHURCH AND STUFF SO I'D BE GOOD. 1633 00:56:10,334 --> 00:56:11,545 USED TO SEND ME TO CHURCH AND STUFF SO I'D BE GOOD. BUT I LIKED TO HANG WITH THE 1634 00:56:11,569 --> 00:56:13,747 STUFF SO I'D BE GOOD. BUT I LIKED TO HANG WITH THE WINOS... I DID... 'CAUSE WINOS 1635 00:56:13,771 --> 00:56:15,014 BUT I LIKED TO HANG WITH THE WINOS... I DID... 'CAUSE WINOS KNOW JESUS PERSONALLY... VERY 1636 00:56:15,038 --> 00:56:15,716 WINOS... I DID... 'CAUSE WINOS KNOW JESUS PERSONALLY... VERY RELIGIOUS. 1637 00:56:15,740 --> 00:56:16,817 KNOW JESUS PERSONALLY... VERY RELIGIOUS. EVERY WINO... YOU ASK 'EM, 1638 00:56:16,841 --> 00:56:17,851 RELIGIOUS. EVERY WINO... YOU ASK 'EM, "WHERE'S JESUS?" 1639 00:56:17,875 --> 00:56:18,819 EVERY WINO... YOU ASK 'EM, "WHERE'S JESUS?" "JESUS?! 1640 00:56:18,843 --> 00:56:20,320 "WHERE'S JESUS?" "JESUS?! HE LIVE OVER THERE IN THE 1641 00:56:20,344 --> 00:56:21,355 "JESUS?! HE LIVE OVER THERE IN THE PROJECTS!" 1642 00:56:21,379 --> 00:56:23,957 HE LIVE OVER THERE IN THE PROJECTS!" [LAUGHTER] 1643 00:56:23,981 --> 00:56:25,692 PROJECTS!" [LAUGHTER] AND I'D STAND AROUND WATCHING 1644 00:56:25,716 --> 00:56:27,561 [LAUGHTER] AND I'D STAND AROUND WATCHING THEM DIRECT TRAFFIC EARLY SUNDAY 1645 00:56:27,585 --> 00:56:28,094 AND I'D STAND AROUND WATCHING THEM DIRECT TRAFFIC EARLY SUNDAY MORNING. 1646 00:56:28,118 --> 00:56:29,363 THEM DIRECT TRAFFIC EARLY SUNDAY MORNING. WINOS ARE GREAT AT DIRECTING 1647 00:56:29,387 --> 00:56:30,364 MORNING. WINOS ARE GREAT AT DIRECTING TRAFFIC, YOU KNOW? 1648 00:56:30,388 --> 00:56:31,765 WINOS ARE GREAT AT DIRECTING TRAFFIC, YOU KNOW? KIND OF LIKE... 1649 00:56:31,789 --> 00:56:32,733 TRAFFIC, YOU KNOW? KIND OF LIKE... [WHISTLES] 1650 00:56:32,757 --> 00:56:34,167 KIND OF LIKE... [WHISTLES] "HEY, FOOL! 1651 00:56:34,191 --> 00:56:36,703 [WHISTLES] "HEY, FOOL! YOU BETTER SLOW THAT CAR DOWN! 1652 00:56:36,727 --> 00:56:38,839 "HEY, FOOL! YOU BETTER SLOW THAT CAR DOWN! DON'T COME DRIVING DOWN THROUGH 1653 00:56:38,863 --> 00:56:40,741 YOU BETTER SLOW THAT CAR DOWN! DON'T COME DRIVING DOWN THROUGH HERE LIKE YOU CRAZY! 1654 00:56:40,765 --> 00:56:41,908 DON'T COME DRIVING DOWN THROUGH HERE LIKE YOU CRAZY! THIS A NEIGHBORHOOD! 1655 00:56:41,932 --> 00:56:43,076 HERE LIKE YOU CRAZY! THIS A NEIGHBORHOOD! THIS AIN'T NO RESIDENTIAL 1656 00:56:43,100 --> 00:56:45,044 THIS A NEIGHBORHOOD! THIS AIN'T NO RESIDENTIAL DISTRICT! 1657 00:56:45,068 --> 00:56:46,880 THIS AIN'T NO RESIDENTIAL DISTRICT! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THAT SIGN, 1658 00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:48,448 DISTRICT! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THAT SIGN, ANYTHING! 1659 00:56:48,472 --> 00:56:50,149 YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THAT SIGN, ANYTHING! I AIN'T A-PLAYING WITH YOU. 1660 00:56:50,173 --> 00:56:52,051 ANYTHING! I AIN'T A-PLAYING WITH YOU. I'LL PUT A HURTING ON YOU, BOY. 1661 00:56:52,075 --> 00:56:54,354 I AIN'T A-PLAYING WITH YOU. I'LL PUT A HURTING ON YOU, BOY. MESS WITH ME. 1662 00:56:54,378 --> 00:56:56,022 I'LL PUT A HURTING ON YOU, BOY. MESS WITH ME. I DON'T... DAMN! 1663 00:56:56,046 --> 00:56:58,881 MESS WITH ME. I DON'T... DAMN! I LIKE 'EM LOW, BUT... MAN." 1664 00:57:05,655 --> 00:57:12,572 [LAUGHTER] "WHOO! BUDDY, BUDDY! 1665 00:57:12,596 --> 00:57:16,510 "WHOO! BUDDY, BUDDY! ♪ WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH ♪ 1666 00:57:16,534 --> 00:57:19,913 BUDDY, BUDDY! ♪ WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH ♪ ♪ WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH ♪ 1667 00:57:19,937 --> 00:57:22,282 ♪ WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH ♪ ♪ WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH ♪ ♪ JESUS ON MY MIND ♪" 1668 00:57:22,306 --> 00:57:23,884 ♪ WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH ♪ ♪ JESUS ON MY MIND ♪" [LAUGHTER] 1669 00:57:23,908 --> 00:57:27,086 ♪ JESUS ON MY MIND ♪" [LAUGHTER] [BLOWING] 1670 00:57:27,110 --> 00:57:32,392 [LAUGHTER] [BLOWING] [LAUGHTER] 1671 00:57:32,416 --> 00:57:36,396 [BLOWING] [LAUGHTER] "I AIN'T GOOD AS I USED TO BE. 1672 00:57:36,420 --> 00:57:37,397 [LAUGHTER] "I AIN'T GOOD AS I USED TO BE. NOW, LOOK AT HIM. 1673 00:57:37,421 --> 00:57:38,665 "I AIN'T GOOD AS I USED TO BE. NOW, LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT THAT BOY, STANDIN' IN 1674 00:57:38,689 --> 00:57:39,800 NOW, LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT THAT BOY, STANDIN' IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. 1675 00:57:39,824 --> 00:57:41,367 LOOK AT THAT BOY, STANDIN' IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. THE BOY'S A STONED JUNKIE. 1676 00:57:41,391 --> 00:57:42,436 THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. THE BOY'S A STONED JUNKIE. LOOK AT HIM. 1677 00:57:42,460 --> 00:57:43,804 THE BOY'S A STONED JUNKIE. LOOK AT HIM. USED TO BE A GENIUS. 1678 00:57:43,828 --> 00:57:45,104 LOOK AT HIM. USED TO BE A GENIUS. USED TO BOOK THE NUMBERS. 1679 00:57:45,128 --> 00:57:47,507 USED TO BE A GENIUS. USED TO BOOK THE NUMBERS. DIDN'T NEED PAPER OR PENCIL. 1680 00:57:47,531 --> 00:57:48,341 USED TO BOOK THE NUMBERS. DIDN'T NEED PAPER OR PENCIL. LOOK AT HIM. 1681 00:57:48,365 --> 00:57:49,509 DIDN'T NEED PAPER OR PENCIL. LOOK AT HIM. NOW HE CAN'T REMEMBER WHO HE 1682 00:57:49,533 --> 00:57:50,777 LOOK AT HIM. NOW HE CAN'T REMEMBER WHO HE IS. 1683 00:57:50,801 --> 00:57:51,778 NOW HE CAN'T REMEMBER WHO HE IS. [WHISTLES] 1684 00:57:51,802 --> 00:57:52,779 IS. [WHISTLES] HEY, JUNEBUG! 1685 00:57:52,803 --> 00:57:54,347 [WHISTLES] HEY, JUNEBUG! GET OUT OF THE STREET, BOY! 1686 00:57:54,371 --> 00:57:56,249 HEY, JUNEBUG! GET OUT OF THE STREET, BOY! NIGGER, YOU AIN'T NO STOP SIGN! 1687 00:57:56,273 --> 00:57:58,151 GET OUT OF THE STREET, BOY! NIGGER, YOU AIN'T NO STOP SIGN! GET OUT OF THE STREET! 1688 00:57:58,175 --> 00:58:00,821 NIGGER, YOU AIN'T NO STOP SIGN! GET OUT OF THE STREET! JUNIOR!" 1689 00:58:00,845 --> 00:58:06,726 GET OUT OF THE STREET! JUNIOR!" [LAUGHTER] 1690 00:58:06,750 --> 00:58:11,130 JUNIOR!" [LAUGHTER] "WHAT'S HAPPENING? 1691 00:58:11,154 --> 00:58:12,466 [LAUGHTER] "WHAT'S HAPPENING? HEY! 1692 00:58:12,490 --> 00:58:15,068 "WHAT'S HAPPENING? HEY! WHAT'S HAPPENING? 1693 00:58:15,092 --> 00:58:16,670 HEY! WHAT'S HAPPENING? I KNOW SOMETHIN' HAPPENIN' 1694 00:58:16,694 --> 00:58:19,038 WHAT'S HAPPENING? I KNOW SOMETHIN' HAPPENIN' 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVIN'. 1695 00:58:19,062 --> 00:58:22,275 I KNOW SOMETHIN' HAPPENIN' 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVIN'. HEY, OLD DUDE! POPS! 1696 00:58:22,299 --> 00:58:24,377 'CAUSE EVERYTHING MOVIN'. HEY, OLD DUDE! POPS! YOU GOT ANYTHING? 1697 00:58:24,401 --> 00:58:26,245 HEY, OLD DUDE! POPS! YOU GOT ANYTHING? I FEEL BAD ENOUGH TO DRINK SOME 1698 00:58:26,269 --> 00:58:28,515 YOU GOT ANYTHING? I FEEL BAD ENOUGH TO DRINK SOME MILK." 1699 00:58:28,539 --> 00:58:30,016 I FEEL BAD ENOUGH TO DRINK SOME MILK." "YEAH, I GOT SOMETHIN' FOR YA, 1700 00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:30,416 MILK." "YEAH, I GOT SOMETHIN' FOR YA, BOY! 1701 00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:31,651 "YEAH, I GOT SOMETHIN' FOR YA, BOY! COME ON OUT THE STREET. 1702 00:58:31,675 --> 00:58:33,219 BOY! COME ON OUT THE STREET. THAT NARCOTIC DONE MADE YOU NULL 1703 00:58:33,243 --> 00:58:35,522 COME ON OUT THE STREET. THAT NARCOTIC DONE MADE YOU NULL AND VOID. 1704 00:58:35,546 --> 00:58:37,824 THAT NARCOTIC DONE MADE YOU NULL AND VOID. COME HERE, BOY. COME HERE. 1705 00:58:37,848 --> 00:58:39,493 AND VOID. COME HERE, BOY. COME HERE. NASTY, STINKIN' DEVIL, YOU. 1706 00:58:39,517 --> 00:58:41,060 COME HERE, BOY. COME HERE. NASTY, STINKIN' DEVIL, YOU. WHY DON'T YOU GET A JOB, BOY, GO 1707 00:58:41,084 --> 00:58:42,261 NASTY, STINKIN' DEVIL, YOU. WHY DON'T YOU GET A JOB, BOY, GO TO WORK?" 1708 00:58:42,285 --> 00:58:44,498 WHY DON'T YOU GET A JOB, BOY, GO TO WORK?" "GET A JOB? 1709 00:58:44,522 --> 00:58:45,765 TO WORK?" "GET A JOB? GO TO WORK? 1710 00:58:45,789 --> 00:58:49,068 "GET A JOB? GO TO WORK? YOU TALKIN' TO THE KID, BABY. 1711 00:58:49,092 --> 00:58:52,305 GO TO WORK? YOU TALKIN' TO THE KID, BABY. I WORKED FIVE YEARS IN A ROW 1712 00:58:52,329 --> 00:58:54,240 YOU TALKIN' TO THE KID, BABY. I WORKED FIVE YEARS IN A ROW WHEN I WAS IN THE JOINT. 1713 00:58:54,264 --> 00:58:56,710 I WORKED FIVE YEARS IN A ROW WHEN I WAS IN THE JOINT. I DID A NICKEL, BABY. 1714 00:58:56,734 --> 00:58:59,045 WHEN I WAS IN THE JOINT. I DID A NICKEL, BABY. AND I CAN WORK MY TAIL OFF, MAN, 1715 00:58:59,069 --> 00:59:01,280 I DID A NICKEL, BABY. AND I CAN WORK MY TAIL OFF, MAN, PRESSIN' LICENSE PLATES. 1716 00:59:01,304 --> 00:59:02,315 AND I CAN WORK MY TAIL OFF, MAN, PRESSIN' LICENSE PLATES. THAT'S RIGHT. 1717 00:59:02,339 --> 00:59:03,884 PRESSIN' LICENSE PLATES. THAT'S RIGHT. BUT WHERE ARE NIGGERS GONNA GET 1718 00:59:03,908 --> 00:59:05,485 THAT'S RIGHT. BUT WHERE ARE NIGGERS GONNA GET A JOB OUT HERE PRESSIN' LICENSE 1719 00:59:05,509 --> 00:59:06,820 BUT WHERE ARE NIGGERS GONNA GET A JOB OUT HERE PRESSIN' LICENSE PLATES? 1720 00:59:06,844 --> 00:59:07,587 A JOB OUT HERE PRESSIN' LICENSE PLATES? HUH? 1721 00:59:07,611 --> 00:59:09,823 PLATES? HUH? I WENT TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT 1722 00:59:09,847 --> 00:59:14,628 HUH? I WENT TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT BUREAU... DAMN." 1723 00:59:14,652 --> 00:59:21,835 I WENT TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT BUREAU... DAMN." [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1724 00:59:21,859 --> 00:59:24,871 BUREAU... DAMN." [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] "WAS I THROUGH? 1725 00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:27,440 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] "WAS I THROUGH? I WALKED TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT 1726 00:59:27,464 --> 00:59:29,876 "WAS I THROUGH? I WALKED TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT BUREAU, WALKED DOWNTOWN... 1727 00:59:29,900 --> 00:59:31,678 I WALKED TO THE UNEMPLOYMENT BUREAU, WALKED DOWNTOWN... CLEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 1728 00:59:31,702 --> 00:59:33,212 BUREAU, WALKED DOWNTOWN... CLEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? WALKED UP TO THE LADY SITTIN' IN 1729 00:59:33,236 --> 00:59:34,748 CLEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? WALKED UP TO THE LADY SITTIN' IN THERE WITH AN OLD TIARA ON HER 1730 00:59:34,772 --> 00:59:36,850 WALKED UP TO THE LADY SITTIN' IN THERE WITH AN OLD TIARA ON HER HEAD, TYPING... 'TIP TIP TIP TIP 1731 00:59:36,874 --> 00:59:37,417 THERE WITH AN OLD TIARA ON HER HEAD, TYPING... 'TIP TIP TIP TIP TIP.' 1732 00:59:37,441 --> 00:59:38,552 HEAD, TYPING... 'TIP TIP TIP TIP TIP.' I SAID, 'HEY!' 1733 00:59:38,576 --> 00:59:40,186 TIP.' I SAID, 'HEY!' SHE SAID, 'OOH, OOH!' 1734 00:59:40,210 --> 00:59:42,188 I SAID, 'HEY!' SHE SAID, 'OOH, OOH!' I SAID, 'HEY! WHAT'S HAPPENING?' 1735 00:59:42,212 --> 00:59:43,256 SHE SAID, 'OOH, OOH!' I SAID, 'HEY! WHAT'S HAPPENING?' SHE LOOKED AT MY PAPER." 1736 00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:45,358 I SAID, 'HEY! WHAT'S HAPPENING?' SHE LOOKED AT MY PAPER." "YOU GOT A CRIMINAL RECORD." 1737 00:59:45,382 --> 00:59:47,326 SHE LOOKED AT MY PAPER." "YOU GOT A CRIMINAL RECORD." "I SAID, 'I KNOW THAT! 1738 00:59:47,350 --> 00:59:49,763 "YOU GOT A CRIMINAL RECORD." "I SAID, 'I KNOW THAT! I'M A CRIMINAL! 1739 00:59:49,787 --> 00:59:52,599 "I SAID, 'I KNOW THAT! I'M A CRIMINAL! TELL ME SOMETHIN' I DON'T KNOW, 1740 00:59:52,623 --> 00:59:54,434 I'M A CRIMINAL! TELL ME SOMETHIN' I DON'T KNOW, LIKE WHERE I'M GONNA GET A JOB 1741 00:59:54,458 --> 00:59:57,470 TELL ME SOMETHIN' I DON'T KNOW, LIKE WHERE I'M GONNA GET A JOB PRESSIN' LICENSE PLATES.' 1742 00:59:57,494 --> 01:00:00,907 LIKE WHERE I'M GONNA GET A JOB PRESSIN' LICENSE PLATES.' I SLAPPED THE YOU KNOW WHAT. 1743 01:00:00,931 --> 01:00:02,075 PRESSIN' LICENSE PLATES.' I SLAPPED THE YOU KNOW WHAT. SHE GOT ALL UPSET. 1744 01:00:02,099 --> 01:00:03,142 I SLAPPED THE YOU KNOW WHAT. SHE GOT ALL UPSET. 'OHH, OHH, OHH, OHH! 1745 01:00:03,166 --> 01:00:04,778 SHE GOT ALL UPSET. 'OHH, OHH, OHH, OHH! DON'T HURT ME! DON'T HURT ME!' 1746 01:00:04,802 --> 01:00:06,546 'OHH, OHH, OHH, OHH! DON'T HURT ME! DON'T HURT ME!' 'I AIN'T GONNA... BE COOL, OLD 1747 01:00:06,570 --> 01:00:07,614 DON'T HURT ME! DON'T HURT ME!' 'I AIN'T GONNA... BE COOL, OLD LADY, YOU KNOW?' 1748 01:00:07,638 --> 01:00:08,949 'I AIN'T GONNA... BE COOL, OLD LADY, YOU KNOW?' I AIN'T GONNA TAKE NO BUST FOR 1749 01:00:08,973 --> 01:00:11,051 LADY, YOU KNOW?' I AIN'T GONNA TAKE NO BUST FOR NO OLD LADY. 1750 01:00:11,075 --> 01:00:12,351 I AIN'T GONNA TAKE NO BUST FOR NO OLD LADY. OLD NIGGER WITH A GUN DOWN 1751 01:00:12,375 --> 01:00:12,852 NO OLD LADY. OLD NIGGER WITH A GUN DOWN THERE. 1752 01:00:12,876 --> 01:00:13,987 OLD NIGGER WITH A GUN DOWN THERE. 'HEY, WHAT'S THE TROUBLE, BUDDY? 1753 01:00:14,011 --> 01:00:15,689 THERE. 'HEY, WHAT'S THE TROUBLE, BUDDY? COME ON, WHAT'S GOING ON? 1754 01:00:15,713 --> 01:00:16,990 'HEY, WHAT'S THE TROUBLE, BUDDY? COME ON, WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?' 1755 01:00:17,014 --> 01:00:20,359 COME ON, WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?' 'HEY, YOU THE TROUBLE, TEX! 1756 01:00:20,383 --> 01:00:21,595 WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?' 'HEY, YOU THE TROUBLE, TEX! WHO YOU SUPPOSED TO BE... 1757 01:00:21,619 --> 01:00:23,463 'HEY, YOU THE TROUBLE, TEX! WHO YOU SUPPOSED TO BE... JESSE JAMES?' 1758 01:00:23,487 --> 01:00:25,065 WHO YOU SUPPOSED TO BE... JESSE JAMES?' IT MADE ME SICK, MAN. 1759 01:00:25,089 --> 01:00:27,200 JESSE JAMES?' IT MADE ME SICK, MAN. I THREW UP ON THE FLOOR. 1760 01:00:27,224 --> 01:00:29,102 IT MADE ME SICK, MAN. I THREW UP ON THE FLOOR. HE TALKING 'BOUT, 'CLEAN IT UP. 1761 01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:30,036 I THREW UP ON THE FLOOR. HE TALKING 'BOUT, 'CLEAN IT UP. CLEAN IT UP.' 1762 01:00:30,060 --> 01:00:31,638 HE TALKING 'BOUT, 'CLEAN IT UP. CLEAN IT UP.' 'I AIN'T CLEANIN' NO NOTHIN'. 1763 01:00:31,662 --> 01:00:34,107 CLEAN IT UP.' 'I AIN'T CLEANIN' NO NOTHIN'. IF I WANTED IT, I'D A-KEPT IT.'" 1764 01:00:34,131 --> 01:00:36,442 'I AIN'T CLEANIN' NO NOTHIN'. IF I WANTED IT, I'D A-KEPT IT.'" [LAUGHTER] 1765 01:00:36,466 --> 01:00:41,014 IF I WANTED IT, I'D A-KEPT IT.'" [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] 1766 01:00:41,038 --> 01:00:42,415 [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] "BUT I'M HURTIN', BABY, YOU 1767 01:00:42,439 --> 01:00:43,483 [APPLAUSE] "BUT I'M HURTIN', BABY, YOU KNOW? 1768 01:00:43,507 --> 01:00:45,184 "BUT I'M HURTIN', BABY, YOU KNOW? I WENT HOME, YOU KNOW? 1769 01:00:45,208 --> 01:00:47,887 KNOW? I WENT HOME, YOU KNOW? MAMA CALLED ME A DOG. 1770 01:00:47,911 --> 01:00:51,224 I WENT HOME, YOU KNOW? MAMA CALLED ME A DOG. MA DID. SHE DID. 1771 01:00:51,248 --> 01:00:53,026 MAMA CALLED ME A DOG. MA DID. SHE DID. DADDY SAY HE DON'T WANNA SEE ME 1772 01:00:53,050 --> 01:00:55,061 MA DID. SHE DID. DADDY SAY HE DON'T WANNA SEE ME IN THE VICINITY... 1773 01:00:55,085 --> 01:00:56,830 DADDY SAY HE DON'T WANNA SEE ME IN THE VICINITY... JUST 'CAUSE I STOLE HIS 1774 01:00:56,854 --> 01:00:58,698 IN THE VICINITY... JUST 'CAUSE I STOLE HIS TELEVISION. 1775 01:00:58,722 --> 01:01:00,767 JUST 'CAUSE I STOLE HIS TELEVISION. WASN'T NOTHIN' ON IT." 1776 01:01:00,791 --> 01:01:05,805 TELEVISION. WASN'T NOTHIN' ON IT." [LAUGHTER] 1777 01:01:05,829 --> 01:01:08,508 WASN'T NOTHIN' ON IT." [LAUGHTER] "CAN YOU HELP ME OUT, OLD DUDE? 1778 01:01:08,532 --> 01:01:10,877 [LAUGHTER] "CAN YOU HELP ME OUT, OLD DUDE? PLEASE? I'M SICK, MAN. 1779 01:01:10,901 --> 01:01:12,578 "CAN YOU HELP ME OUT, OLD DUDE? PLEASE? I'M SICK, MAN. ♪ HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH THE 1780 01:01:12,602 --> 01:01:14,914 PLEASE? I'M SICK, MAN. ♪ HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT ♪" 1781 01:01:14,938 --> 01:01:16,950 ♪ HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT ♪" "I'M GONNA HELP YOU, BOY, 'CAUSE 1782 01:01:16,974 --> 01:01:18,551 NIGHT ♪" "I'M GONNA HELP YOU, BOY, 'CAUSE I BELIEVE YOU GOT POTENTIAL. 1783 01:01:18,575 --> 01:01:19,552 "I'M GONNA HELP YOU, BOY, 'CAUSE I BELIEVE YOU GOT POTENTIAL. THAT'S RIGHT. 1784 01:01:19,576 --> 01:01:20,654 I BELIEVE YOU GOT POTENTIAL. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU CAN BE SOMEBODY 'CAUSE 1785 01:01:20,678 --> 01:01:21,888 THAT'S RIGHT. YOU CAN BE SOMEBODY 'CAUSE YOU'RE SHARP, YOU KNOW WHAT I 1786 01:01:21,912 --> 01:01:22,455 YOU CAN BE SOMEBODY 'CAUSE YOU'RE SHARP, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 1787 01:01:22,479 --> 01:01:23,923 YOU'RE SHARP, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? TRY SOME OF THAT. 1788 01:01:23,947 --> 01:01:25,258 MEAN? TRY SOME OF THAT. DON'T YOU DROP IT, NIGGER! 1789 01:01:25,282 --> 01:01:28,528 TRY SOME OF THAT. DON'T YOU DROP IT, NIGGER! PUT... PUT... 1790 01:01:28,552 --> 01:01:29,829 DON'T YOU DROP IT, NIGGER! PUT... PUT... SLOW DOWN. 1791 01:01:29,853 --> 01:01:34,233 PUT... PUT... SLOW DOWN. JUST TAKE A SIP. GO AHEAD. 1792 01:01:34,257 --> 01:01:35,735 SLOW DOWN. JUST TAKE A SIP. GO AHEAD. YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT 1793 01:01:35,759 --> 01:01:36,836 JUST TAKE A SIP. GO AHEAD. YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT FOOTBALL, DON'T YOU? 1794 01:01:36,860 --> 01:01:38,038 YOU KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT FOOTBALL, DON'T YOU? PASS IT!" 1795 01:01:38,062 --> 01:01:44,210 FOOTBALL, DON'T YOU? PASS IT!" [LAUGHTER] 1796 01:01:44,234 --> 01:01:45,712 PASS IT!" [LAUGHTER] "YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS, 1797 01:01:45,736 --> 01:01:46,212 [LAUGHTER] "YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS, JUNIOR? 1798 01:01:46,236 --> 01:01:47,613 "YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS, JUNIOR? YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH 1799 01:01:47,637 --> 01:01:48,514 JUNIOR? YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THE WHITE MAN. 1800 01:01:48,538 --> 01:01:50,950 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THE WHITE MAN. YOU GOT A WHITE-MAN COMPLEX. 1801 01:01:50,974 --> 01:01:52,518 THE WHITE MAN. YOU GOT A WHITE-MAN COMPLEX. I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH HIM. 1802 01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:53,820 YOU GOT A WHITE-MAN COMPLEX. I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH HIM. THAT'S WHY I'M IN THE POSITION 1803 01:01:53,844 --> 01:01:55,221 I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH HIM. THAT'S WHY I'M IN THE POSITION I'M IN TODAY." 1804 01:01:55,245 --> 01:01:57,957 THAT'S WHY I'M IN THE POSITION I'M IN TODAY." [LAUGHTER] 1805 01:01:57,981 --> 01:02:00,827 I'M IN TODAY." [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] 1806 01:02:00,851 --> 01:02:02,696 [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] THANK YOU. 1807 01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:04,931 [APPLAUSE] THANK YOU. THANK YOU, EVERYONE. 1808 01:02:04,955 --> 01:02:06,888 THANK YOU. THANK YOU, EVERYONE. [CHEERS] 1809 01:02:14,463 --> 01:02:19,445 [INTRO TO "A LOVELY DAY" PLAYS] I GOT A SONG FOR YOU ABOUT 1810 01:02:19,469 --> 01:02:24,117 [PLAYS] I GOT A SONG FOR YOU ABOUT BRIGHT DAYS AND SUNSHINE. 1811 01:02:24,141 --> 01:02:26,219 I GOT A SONG FOR YOU ABOUT BRIGHT DAYS AND SUNSHINE. ♪ IT'S ON A BRIGHT SPRING 1812 01:02:26,243 --> 01:02:27,486 BRIGHT DAYS AND SUNSHINE. ♪ IT'S ON A BRIGHT SPRING MORNING ♪ 1813 01:02:27,510 --> 01:02:29,622 ♪ IT'S ON A BRIGHT SPRING MORNING ♪ ♪ THERE'S NOT A CLOUD IN THE 1814 01:02:29,646 --> 01:02:33,426 MORNING ♪ ♪ THERE'S NOT A CLOUD IN THE SKY ♪ 1815 01:02:33,450 --> 01:02:35,261 ♪ THERE'S NOT A CLOUD IN THE SKY ♪ ♪ AND IT'S GOT ME OUT HERE 1816 01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:36,262 SKY ♪ ♪ AND IT'S GOT ME OUT HERE WALKING ♪ 1817 01:02:36,286 --> 01:02:38,397 ♪ AND IT'S GOT ME OUT HERE WALKING ♪ ♪ AND WAVING TO THE LADIES AS 1818 01:02:38,421 --> 01:02:41,000 WALKING ♪ ♪ AND WAVING TO THE LADIES AS THEY STROLL BY ♪ 1819 01:02:41,024 --> 01:02:44,137 ♪ AND WAVING TO THE LADIES AS THEY STROLL BY ♪ ♪ AND I AIN'T FORGOT FOR A 1820 01:02:44,161 --> 01:02:45,571 THEY STROLL BY ♪ ♪ AND I AIN'T FORGOT FOR A MOMENT ♪ 1821 01:02:45,595 --> 01:02:48,108 ♪ AND I AIN'T FORGOT FOR A MOMENT ♪ ♪ THE OTHER THINGS I NEED TO 1822 01:02:48,132 --> 01:02:49,943 MOMENT ♪ ♪ THE OTHER THINGS I NEED TO DO ♪ 1823 01:02:49,967 --> 01:02:53,613 ♪ THE OTHER THINGS I NEED TO DO ♪ ♪ BUT WHEN I SEE THAT OLD SUN 1824 01:02:53,637 --> 01:02:55,014 DO ♪ ♪ BUT WHEN I SEE THAT OLD SUN SHINING ♪ 1825 01:02:55,038 --> 01:02:57,583 ♪ BUT WHEN I SEE THAT OLD SUN SHINING ♪ ♪ I FEEL LIKE I CAN MAKE IT, 1826 01:02:57,607 --> 01:02:59,719 SHINING ♪ ♪ I FEEL LIKE I CAN MAKE IT, TOO ♪ 1827 01:02:59,743 --> 01:03:04,323 ♪ I FEEL LIKE I CAN MAKE IT, TOO ♪ ♪ AND, YES, AND ALL I ♪ 1828 01:03:04,347 --> 01:03:08,594 TOO ♪ ♪ AND, YES, AND ALL I ♪ ♪ REALLY WANT TO SAY ♪ 1829 01:03:08,618 --> 01:03:12,331 ♪ AND, YES, AND ALL I ♪ ♪ REALLY WANT TO SAY ♪ ♪ IS THAT THE PROBLEMS COME AND 1830 01:03:12,355 --> 01:03:13,233 ♪ REALLY WANT TO SAY ♪ ♪ IS THAT THE PROBLEMS COME AND GO ♪ 1831 01:03:13,257 --> 01:03:15,568 ♪ IS THAT THE PROBLEMS COME AND GO ♪ ♪ BUT THE SUNSHINE SEEMS TO 1832 01:03:15,592 --> 01:03:17,303 GO ♪ ♪ BUT THE SUNSHINE SEEMS TO STAY ♪ 1833 01:03:17,327 --> 01:03:21,074 ♪ BUT THE SUNSHINE SEEMS TO STAY ♪ ♪ AND JUST LOOK AROUND ♪ 1834 01:03:21,098 --> 01:03:23,777 STAY ♪ ♪ AND JUST LOOK AROUND ♪ ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ 1835 01:03:23,801 --> 01:03:27,947 ♪ AND JUST LOOK AROUND ♪ ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ 1836 01:03:27,971 --> 01:03:29,515 ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ BANG. 1837 01:03:29,539 --> 01:03:31,785 ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ BANG. ♪ THE FLOWERS WOKE UP BLOOMING ♪ 1838 01:03:31,809 --> 01:03:34,254 BANG. ♪ THE FLOWERS WOKE UP BLOOMING ♪ ♪ AND PUT ON A COLOR SHOW JUST 1839 01:03:34,278 --> 01:03:36,022 ♪ THE FLOWERS WOKE UP BLOOMING ♪ ♪ AND PUT ON A COLOR SHOW JUST FOR ME ♪ 1840 01:03:36,046 --> 01:03:37,290 ♪ AND PUT ON A COLOR SHOW JUST FOR ME ♪ AND I APPRECIATE IT. 1841 01:03:37,314 --> 01:03:38,758 FOR ME ♪ AND I APPRECIATE IT. BANG. 1842 01:03:38,782 --> 01:03:40,894 AND I APPRECIATE IT. BANG. ♪ THE SHADOWS, DARK AND GLOOMY ♪ 1843 01:03:40,918 --> 01:03:42,695 BANG. ♪ THE SHADOWS, DARK AND GLOOMY ♪ ♪ I TOLD THEM ALL TO KEEP THE 1844 01:03:42,719 --> 01:03:45,165 ♪ THE SHADOWS, DARK AND GLOOMY ♪ ♪ I TOLD THEM ALL TO KEEP THE HELL AWAY FROM ME ♪ 1845 01:03:45,189 --> 01:03:48,434 ♪ I TOLD THEM ALL TO KEEP THE HELL AWAY FROM ME ♪ ♪ BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE 1846 01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:49,836 HELL AWAY FROM ME ♪ ♪ BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE BELIEVING ♪ 1847 01:03:49,860 --> 01:03:52,638 ♪ BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE BELIEVING ♪ ♪ EVERYTHING I DO IS GONNA TURN 1848 01:03:52,662 --> 01:03:54,941 BELIEVING ♪ ♪ EVERYTHING I DO IS GONNA TURN OUT WRONG ♪ 1849 01:03:54,965 --> 01:03:57,643 ♪ EVERYTHING I DO IS GONNA TURN OUT WRONG ♪ ♪ WHEN THE VIBRATIONS I'M 1850 01:03:57,667 --> 01:03:58,978 OUT WRONG ♪ ♪ WHEN THE VIBRATIONS I'M RECEIVING ♪ 1851 01:03:59,002 --> 01:04:01,114 ♪ WHEN THE VIBRATIONS I'M RECEIVING ♪ ♪ SAY, "HOLD ON, BROTHER, JUST 1852 01:04:01,138 --> 01:04:04,017 RECEIVING ♪ ♪ SAY, "HOLD ON, BROTHER, JUST YOU BE STRONG" ♪ 1853 01:04:04,041 --> 01:04:08,621 ♪ SAY, "HOLD ON, BROTHER, JUST YOU BE STRONG" ♪ ♪ AND, YES, AND ALL I ♪ 1854 01:04:08,645 --> 01:04:12,792 YOU BE STRONG" ♪ ♪ AND, YES, AND ALL I ♪ ♪ REALLY WANT TO SAY ♪ 1855 01:04:12,816 --> 01:04:16,429 ♪ AND, YES, AND ALL I ♪ ♪ REALLY WANT TO SAY ♪ ♪ IS THAT MY PROBLEMS COME AND 1856 01:04:16,453 --> 01:04:17,096 ♪ REALLY WANT TO SAY ♪ ♪ IS THAT MY PROBLEMS COME AND GO ♪ 1857 01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:19,732 ♪ IS THAT MY PROBLEMS COME AND GO ♪ ♪ BUT THE SUNSHINE SEEMS TO 1858 01:04:19,756 --> 01:04:20,733 GO ♪ ♪ BUT THE SUNSHINE SEEMS TO STAY ♪ 1859 01:04:20,757 --> 01:04:22,035 ♪ BUT THE SUNSHINE SEEMS TO STAY ♪ ♪ AND, HEY ♪ 1860 01:04:22,059 --> 01:04:25,071 STAY ♪ ♪ AND, HEY ♪ ♪ JUST LOOK AROUND ♪ 1861 01:04:25,095 --> 01:04:27,640 ♪ AND, HEY ♪ ♪ JUST LOOK AROUND ♪ ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ 1862 01:04:27,664 --> 01:04:32,145 ♪ JUST LOOK AROUND ♪ ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ 1863 01:04:32,169 --> 01:04:36,883 ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ ♪ AND SOMETIMES ♪ 1864 01:04:36,907 --> 01:04:39,719 ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ ♪ AND SOMETIMES ♪ ♪ IT RAINS ♪ 1865 01:04:39,743 --> 01:04:44,057 ♪ AND SOMETIMES ♪ ♪ IT RAINS ♪ ♪ AND YOU AND I FEEL ♪ 1866 01:04:44,081 --> 01:04:49,295 ♪ IT RAINS ♪ ♪ AND YOU AND I FEEL ♪ ♪ KIND OF STRANGE ♪ 1867 01:04:49,319 --> 01:04:51,998 ♪ AND YOU AND I FEEL ♪ ♪ KIND OF STRANGE ♪ ♪ BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE MY 1868 01:04:52,022 --> 01:04:54,533 ♪ KIND OF STRANGE ♪ ♪ BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE MY PROBLEMS BEGIN ♪ 1869 01:04:54,557 --> 01:04:57,270 ♪ BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE MY PROBLEMS BEGIN ♪ ♪ WITHOUT THE SUNSHINE ON WHICH 1870 01:04:57,294 --> 01:04:59,138 PROBLEMS BEGIN ♪ ♪ WITHOUT THE SUNSHINE ON WHICH I DEPEND ♪ 1871 01:04:59,162 --> 01:05:02,441 ♪ WITHOUT THE SUNSHINE ON WHICH I DEPEND ♪ ♪ AND ALL THAT MAKES ME FEEL ♪ 1872 01:05:02,465 --> 01:05:04,143 I DEPEND ♪ ♪ AND ALL THAT MAKES ME FEEL ♪ ♪ LIKE I'M NEEDING, YEAH, THE 1873 01:05:04,167 --> 01:05:04,911 ♪ AND ALL THAT MAKES ME FEEL ♪ ♪ LIKE I'M NEEDING, YEAH, THE SUN ♪ 1874 01:05:04,935 --> 01:05:07,146 ♪ LIKE I'M NEEDING, YEAH, THE SUN ♪ ♪ SAYING, HEY ♪ 1875 01:05:07,170 --> 01:05:10,383 SUN ♪ ♪ SAYING, HEY ♪ ♪ JUST LOOK AROUND ♪ 1876 01:05:10,407 --> 01:05:12,618 ♪ SAYING, HEY ♪ ♪ JUST LOOK AROUND ♪ ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ 1877 01:05:12,642 --> 01:05:14,386 ♪ JUST LOOK AROUND ♪ ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ 1878 01:05:14,410 --> 01:05:16,655 ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ 1879 01:05:16,679 --> 01:05:21,560 ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ 1880 01:05:21,584 --> 01:05:23,196 ♪ I THINK WE FOUND ♪ ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ THANK YOU. 1881 01:05:23,220 --> 01:05:25,497 ♪ A LOVELY DAY ♪ THANK YOU. [APPLAUSE] 1882 01:05:25,521 --> 01:05:27,934 THANK YOU. [APPLAUSE] [LAUGHTER] 1883 01:05:27,958 --> 01:05:29,435 [APPLAUSE] [LAUGHTER] IF YOU DIDN'T WATCH THE SHOW, 1884 01:05:29,459 --> 01:05:30,769 [LAUGHTER] IF YOU DIDN'T WATCH THE SHOW, WE HOPE YOU MADE LOVE. 1885 01:05:30,793 --> 01:05:32,038 IF YOU DIDN'T WATCH THE SHOW, WE HOPE YOU MADE LOVE. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT. 1886 01:05:32,062 --> 01:05:33,738 WE HOPE YOU MADE LOVE. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. 1887 01:05:33,762 --> 01:05:35,629 [APPLAUSE] 1888 01:05:35,764 --> 01:05:40,601 [BAND PLAYS] 1889 01:05:40,736 --> 01:05:42,270 Announcer: THE MUPPETS ARE 1890 01:05:42,404 --> 01:05:43,504 FRANK OZ, JERRY NELSON, 1891 01:05:43,638 --> 01:05:44,878 ALICE TWEEDY, RICHARD HUNT, AND 1892 01:05:44,907 --> 01:05:45,773 JIM HENSON. 1893 01:05:45,908 --> 01:05:47,008 ALSO FEATURED IN TONIGHT'S 1894 01:05:47,142 --> 01:05:48,642 CAST... KATHY McKEY AND 1895 01:05:48,777 --> 01:05:49,810 TOM SCHILLER. 1896 01:05:49,945 --> 01:05:51,445 THIS IS DON PARDO SAYING, "WHO 1897 01:05:51,580 --> 01:05:53,181 DO I HAVE TO SHAKE HANDS WITH TO 1898 01:05:53,315 --> 01:05:54,315 GET OFF THIS SHOW?" 1899 01:05:54,416 --> 01:05:56,217 GOOD NIGHT. 200793