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1
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:52,280
This program me contains strong
language and scenes of a sexual nature.
2
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:58,976
Hi.
3
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,016
Hey!
4
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,296
How you doing?
5
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,896
Good, thanks. How are you?
6
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,840
I'm good, good.
7
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,576
You're late. I'm late. I'm
sorry I'm late. I know.
8
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,056
It's OK.
9
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:15,216
I'm about 10 to 15 minutes
late in life, I've realised.
10
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,656
Are you, you're always late?
11
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,576
Yeah, it might be a good thing
for you to bear that in mind.
12
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,216
Yeah?
13
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,056
OK.
14
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,200
What were you thinking
when I texted you?
15
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,296
Erm, you want the honest answer?
16
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,360
Ooh...
17
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,376
Only the honest answer.
18
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,096
I was thinking, "Oh, this guy."
19
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:38,256
"Oh, THIS guy."
20
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,096
"This guy."
21
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,016
I dunno, like,
22
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,560
if it was anyone else, I would
have probably dismissed it and...
23
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,456
OK.
24
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,336
I don't know. I felt...
25
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,976
I don't know why. I don't
know why I felt this
26
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,200
differently.
27
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,616
That's good.
28
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,680
Yeah.
29
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,256
OK.
30
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,760
Oh, look.
31
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,936
"Together for over
65 years." Yeah.
32
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,656
[TOGETHER:] "Let me not to
the marriage of true minds"
33
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,616
"admit impediment."
34
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:25,680
All right.
35
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,720
I have to sit here now. OK.
36
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,640
Wow.
37
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,176
65 years. Imagine being
with someone for 65 years.
38
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,680
Mate, that's... That's crazy.
39
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:38,720
Yeah.
40
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,456
Is that the dream?
Would that be the dream?
41
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,200
Like, is that your dream?
42
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,760
Maybe, yeah, with
the right person.
43
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,696
Yeah. I guess you
can't really know.
44
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,256
You can't really know
that, starting out.
45
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,640
Erm...
46
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,256
But, yeah, that would be...
47
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,680
The idea of it's nice.
48
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:13,080
I think so.
49
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:16,200
[PHONE VIBRATES]
50
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,016
[VOICEMAIL: ]Hey,
Hannah. It's James.
51
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,376
Erm...
52
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,296
I just wanted to say, I hope you
like me as much as I like you.
53
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:35,976
[HE CHUCKLES]
54
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,496
Or even... or even
half as much, erm...
55
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:43,520
I'm thinking about you, and, er,
yeah, let's do something else.
56
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,520
[ON PHONE:]Yeah,
exactly. It's just...
57
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,896
Yep, all right then.
No, no, no worries.
58
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,456
Thank you very
much, though, for...
59
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:50,656
[HE CHUCKLES]
60
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,080
All right. Cheers,
buddy. Cheers, thanks.
61
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,520
So have you been on many of
these, er, swipe right dates?
62
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,936
No, I'm pretty new
to it, actually.
63
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,216
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
64
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,800
What did you do before?
65
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,536
Fell into things by
accident. Oh, OK.
66
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,216
What about you? Have
you done this a lot?
67
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,176
Yeah, I've... I've defeated...
I've clocked the dating apps.
68
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,616
Like, I'm waiting for, like,
number two to come out.
69
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,176
Oh, you've completed them?
I've completed it, yeah. OK.
70
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,536
Clocked is like a gaming...
OK, sorry, I'm not a gamer.
71
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,016
It's a term.
72
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:44,256
Erm, yeah, no, a lot, a
lot, and I should stop,
73
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,576
but when you're just in
the office all the time
74
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,976
and you're sort of, like, meeting
the same people, then you've got...
75
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,496
Your time's precious. You haven't
got a lot of time, you know.
76
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,600
It makes sense, erm, yeah.
77
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:02,176
And, er, good, good experiences?
78
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:06,296
Good and bad, sometimes people
look nothing like their picture.
79
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,176
And this is going to sound bad,
80
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,896
but, like, one girl literally
turned up and she had, like,
81
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,416
two extra chins.
82
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,936
No, I know that sounds...
You know what I mean, though?
83
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,376
It's like why are we starting on
a lie? I don't have a problem.
84
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,456
I don't necessarily need
a girl to be skinny, or...
85
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,696
I'm not really bothered,
that bothered about size,
86
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,216
but, like, let's
not start on a lie.
87
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,376
We're starting a date with
an elephant in the room.
88
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,896
Do you know what I mean?
89
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,416
An elephant in the room?
90
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,256
No, I didn't... Sorry!
91
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,856
No. Sorry, I know what you're
saying. I know what you're saying.
92
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,136
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
93
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,640
So what made you,
erm, start swiping?
94
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,600
Erm...
95
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,400
I dunno. I guess I'm...
96
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,856
I'm hoping to meet some
interesting people, maybe,
97
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,736
and just see what happens.
98
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,480
But you're not looking for
anything specific, or...?
99
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:03,016
What, like, a husband,
you know, or...
100
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,216
Well, I don't... I don't mean, like,
second date, let's get married,
101
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,856
but, yeah, you're going in
there with an intention,
102
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,736
like, some people are on
it just to have a shag
103
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,976
and some people are on
it for other things.
104
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,896
Mm, yeah, possibly, possibly.
105
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,840
I haven't, I haven't made up my
mind about all that stuff yet.
106
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,616
At all?
107
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,376
At your age? Not like that.
108
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,776
I know it sounds
bad, but at your age,
109
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,016
you must have thought about
it. Clock ticking, all that?
110
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,240
Mm, well...
111
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:41,680
Yeah, I've thought about
it. I haven't decided.
112
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,896
Erm...
113
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,496
You haven't thought about kids?
114
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,096
Thought about it.
115
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,640
Still thinking about it.
116
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,280
What I...
117
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,936
I suppose I just... I don't know
exactly what it is that I want yet,
118
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,840
and I'm still trying
to figure it out.
119
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,640
So why are you on a date?
120
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,296
This date?
121
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,000
Yeah, why are you on this date?
122
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,336
I don't know. I thought we were
getting to know each other,
123
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:18,920
having, having a chat.
124
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:24,000
You seem like an interesting guy and
I thought we could see what happens.
125
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,976
When you say "see what happens," do
you mean actually see what happens,
126
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,280
or you mean... Yeah.
127
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,816
You look annoyed.
128
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,656
I'm not annoyed. I just know
what I want out of this,
129
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:40,496
and if I meet someone, I'm
meeting, thinking, what is this,
130
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,856
and what can this be, and, er,
131
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,216
I don't mean to put pressure
or anything like that,
132
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,976
I just mean...
133
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,816
I just... I just
waste a lot of time.
134
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,536
I've been on a lot of these
dates, and I just feel sometimes
135
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:54,016
it's getting a little
bit frustrating when
136
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,336
someone's just come out of a
relationship or someone's not ready.
137
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,936
I sort of just feel like I need
people to be a lot more honest so...
138
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,336
I know that can be abrasive
for some people, but,
139
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,376
yeah, that's what I'm asking.
140
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,816
Er, I do feel...
141
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,056
Because I don't think
you know what you want.
142
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,096
See, I think you're
wasting my time.
143
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,256
I think you're here to find
yourself or use me to find yourself,
144
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,816
or use me to find
what you really want,
145
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,560
and that's just fucking
wasting my time, to be honest.
146
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,936
So I think we should
just leave it here, yeah?
147
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,360
OK. I'm right, right?
148
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,776
I'm... I'm right, right?
149
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,456
You... Yeah, it's
a fucking joke.
150
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,016
You seem to think you're
right. I'm right. OK, yeah.
151
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,240
Thanks for wasting my
fucking time. Peace.
152
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,040
Ugh...
153
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,240
Wow, wow...
154
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,336
What do you want, Mum?
155
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,960
Erm, a herbal, please.
156
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,536
Is camomile all right?
157
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:23,800
Lovely.
158
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,936
Do you want me to
leave your tea bag in?
159
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,160
Yes, please.
160
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,160
Here you go.
161
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:51,600
Thank you.
162
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,440
Do you remember what your
grandmother used to say?
163
00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,736
She used to say,
164
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:05,136
"There is no path to happiness.
165
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,240
"Happiness is the path." I know.
166
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,400
Yep.
167
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:16,416
It feels strange,
not having her there,
168
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:20,896
but you have to build your
own happiness, Hannah.
169
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,016
You, you are very smart,
170
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,096
you're strong,
171
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,336
you're beautiful. Ugh...
172
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,720
Yeah, you are, really.
173
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,176
And
174
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,656
you can have everything, Hannah,
175
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,680
but it doesn't happen by itself.
176
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,936
And sometimes you have to
make conscious decisions
177
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,376
about what you want in life,
178
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:50,040
and make a plan,
and stick to it.
179
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,736
You don't need to
worry about me, Mum.
180
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,040
I'm all right.
181
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,336
I'm fine, Mum.
182
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,216
Erm, I don't think
you are, Hannah...
183
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,016
I'm, I'm happy, Mum!
184
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,056
I really don't think you are.
185
00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,120
Oh, fucking hell...
186
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,576
I know this is going
to sound silly, Hannah,
187
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:16,320
but one day you're going to wake
up and you're going to be 40.
188
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:21,216
Well, they say that
40 is the new 20,
189
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,176
50's the new 30, so
190
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:26,496
I think it's...
It's not that bad.
191
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,896
You might look great,
192
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:32,560
but your body will be that
of a 40-year-old woman, and.
193
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,496
I don't want you to
194
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,456
miss out on building a family
195
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,800
and sharing your
life with somebody.
196
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:50,336
Of building a really loving,
meaningful relationship.
197
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,856
Oh, my God, Mum...
198
00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:55,616
All I really care about
is your happiness.
199
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,496
I don't want to just
sit here and watch you,
200
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,536
and have cups of
tea once a month,
201
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,896
while your life just
drifts by and then you...
202
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:05,376
Mum, please, please,
please drop this.
203
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,816
OK, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that
you don't have grand kids
204
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,536
to play with yet... It's not,
205
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,016
so just please leave it.
206
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,696
It's not about that, Hannah. It's
not about me having grandchildren.
207
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,736
It's about the whole
of your life, darling.
208
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,800
You can't meet Mr Wonderful
when you're 60, darling.
209
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,200
Bye, Mum.
210
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,456
? I just can't rely on you
211
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,536
? Just can't rely on you
212
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,656
? I just can't rely on you
213
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,816
? Just can't rely on you
214
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,536
? Yeah, you've got
that good stuff
215
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,656
? But that don't last (no way)
216
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,056
? So I just can't rely on you
217
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,216
? Just can't rely on you
218
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:13,096
? Oh Lord, how am
I to ever explain
219
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:17,016
? How my melted heart
went right down the drain?
220
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,776
? Cos if you don't
want me (release)
221
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:19,816
? Repeat (beep beep)
222
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:20,976
? Want some (want some)
223
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,016
? Take me
224
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,976
? He will take me
right out your way
225
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,200
? Come on with it!
226
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,760
? Come on!
227
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,480
? I don't know what this
world is coming to! ?
228
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,456
[WHISPERED:] Hey! Oh, hey,
hello! How are you doing?
229
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,136
How are you doing? Hey, darling.
230
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,936
How are you doing? Yeah, I'm
good, thanks. How are you?
231
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,456
Yeah, good.
232
00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,176
So this is Gabriel.
Oh, my gosh! Ahh...
233
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,936
Hello! He's gorgeous.
234
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,616
Aw, thanks.
235
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,216
Yeah, he is quite
cute, isn't he?
236
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,976
Gosh. I got you a
little something.
237
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,976
Aw, thank you.
I'll pop it down...
238
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,456
That's really kind. I'll pop
it down here. Thanks so much.
239
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,776
Yes.
240
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,256
So, how are you?
241
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,816
We're good.
242
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,336
I mean, the lack of
sleep thing is difficult,
243
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,496
but apart from that
I feel really good.
244
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,576
I'm feeling really
happy, quite contented.
245
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,616
I don't think I was expecting
to feel the big love rush thing
246
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,760
that everyone talks
about, but it's all true.
247
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,936
And Tim's been brilliant.
248
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:38,256
He's been just an
absolute Trojan.
249
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,056
He's there every step of the way,
with the, sort of, the 2am feeds,
250
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:45,456
and the 4am feeds, and changing
nappies in the middle of the night.
251
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,936
He takes it all in his
stride, and he's amazing.
252
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,536
It's really brought out
the best in him, I think.
253
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,496
And the best in us, I think.
254
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:53,840
Oh!
255
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,280
Yeah, yeah.
256
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,376
Do you want to hold him?
257
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,736
Yeah. Yeah?
258
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,256
Why not? Cool.
259
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,776
Are you sure?
260
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,216
Yeah, he's quite chilled.
261
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,176
Which side do you
want his head? Erm...
262
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,576
Left or right?
263
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,936
No, I can... Yeah, right, I
guess. Just straight over? OK.
264
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,616
Oh, God...
265
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,936
I don't want him to wake
up. No, it's all right.
266
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,200
Oh, a quick changeover.
267
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,616
Aww...
268
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:30,920
Hello.
269
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,536
Hi!
270
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:34,880
Waking up?
271
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,560
So cute.
272
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,616
You're so cute.
273
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,160
Oh, he's beautiful.
274
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,776
I'm so happy for you.
275
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,496
Ah, thank you!
276
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,416
Honestly, it's...
277
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,920
It's amazing. It's
amazing, what you've done.
278
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,720
Oh, love...
279
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,536
Oh, love, what's going on? It's
all right. Nothing, honestly.
280
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,136
Come on. Are you all
right? What's happening?
281
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,920
I'm fine. I'm just...
282
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,480
Yeah.
283
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,320
Shit.
284
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,680
OK.
285
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,056
Hi. Hey.
286
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,576
Hi. Yep. How are you doing?
287
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,056
I'm good, thanks. How are
you? Erm, great, good.
288
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,656
Sorry if I've kept you waiting.
289
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,296
No, no, no, not at all.
290
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,016
It's been, like, 10
minutes, but it's fine.
291
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,696
It's fine... I ordered
a, sort of, a small beer,
292
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,336
and I've drunk a bit of it, so
I'm, er, pretty much raring to go.
293
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:53,616
What, er, do you want a
drink? Erm, yeah, why not?
294
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,256
Er, what can I get you?
295
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,656
Hi. What can I get you?
296
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,736
Erm, can I have a vodka
cranberry juice, please?
297
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,240
Sure, no problem. Thank you.
298
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,056
So, how was your day?
299
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,976
Er, er, good, good.
300
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,616
I sort of do... I do, like,
freelance copy writing.
301
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,096
I'll tell you what I wrote.
302
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,816
Right, it's... Erm, so there's
a button you have to click
303
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,816
to get into the
website... Mm-hm.
304
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:23,736
And, er, I gave them five
different options, and... Yep.
305
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,736
We went with, eventually,
306
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,616
"Click here."
307
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,296
So there you go, three years at
university. How crafty, yeah.
308
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,136
Pretty solid, erm...
309
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,640
Well, there you go.
310
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,576
OK, here's where I'm at.
311
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:43,376
Sometimes, I want to meet someone
who I can find peace with,
312
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:47,536
total fucking
tranquillity, but then,
313
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,680
but then sometimes I just want
314
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,856
fucking chaos, you know?
315
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,576
I want that person to be mad,
316
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,896
and drive me insane and
torment me even more.
317
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:04,296
You know? So tell me,
what's Hannah looking for?
318
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,760
What are you after?
319
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,016
I don't know. I suppose when
it comes to a relationship,
320
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:16,296
I want to have the freedom to be
321
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,456
myself,
322
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,456
like completely myself.
323
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:21,520
And...
324
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,440
I don't know if I've ever really
had that in a relationship.
325
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:34,376
Like, don't we want
contradictory things from people?
326
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,536
Like, we like the idea of safety
327
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:41,136
and security and love and care
328
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,536
and someone to feel like home,
329
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,896
and of course we want
that, we need that,
330
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:49,176
but then there's another side of us
that wants novelty and excitement,
331
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,080
and the new, and...
332
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,656
I don't know how
you resolve that.
333
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,136
I don't know how you resolve
that with just one person, so
334
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,616
I know that I don't
want to be tied down.
335
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:05,440
I know that I want excitement.
336
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,240
I like sex.
337
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:12,920
I...
338
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:19,856
I don't know, I guess, sometimes
I feel like a bit of a freak,
339
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,696
compared to other
women that I know,
340
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:27,376
I mean, most of my friends
from school and uni,
341
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,336
they're already settling down,
342
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:35,776
some are on their, you know,
their second or third kid,
343
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,496
and I worry sometimes that
I'm going to be left behind
344
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,800
before I figure my
shit out, you know?
345
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,056
I don't know.
346
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,336
Yeah.
347
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,136
You're pretty
fucking incredible,
348
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,240
as far as I'm concerned, but...
349
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,616
Erm...
350
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,296
I'm just going to go to the loo.
351
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,936
Yep, no, yeah. That's fine, yep.
352
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,520
All right. Sorry!
353
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:43,896
Hey, hey. Come on, now.
354
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,680
You want to be free, don't you?
355
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,016
Hey, hey, slow down.
You want to fucking...
356
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,656
Slow down.
357
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,816
Come on, let's go,
let's go back upstairs.
358
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,056
I know you want... Let's
go back upstairs. Come on,
359
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,456
slow down, slow down, slow down!
360
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,960
No, come on...
361
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,640
Get off!
362
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:47,960
Fuck.
363
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,896
So, yeah, I was telling you that
my parents had a dinner party
364
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:05,496
a few weeks ago, and they were,
like, had all their friends over,
365
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,336
and they were all, like,
they brought all their kids,
366
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:11,736
and it was, like, so mental
367
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,696
but it was so, so, so fun.
368
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:19,136
We had, like, like, this huge table
for all, like, my mum and dad's
369
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,296
friends, and then we had, like,
another table for all the kids,
370
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:23,816
and it was just so fun.
371
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,816
Like, everybody was together, and
they were all telling stories about
372
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:30,016
being on holidays with
their kids, and, like,
373
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,296
the kids were like running about,
all being friends together,
374
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,496
they've all known each other
since they were little,
375
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,816
and I was just like,
oh, my God, like,
376
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,176
I want that.
377
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:44,576
Like, I want to have that
relationship with someone,
378
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:49,416
that's like my person, my
partner, and my husband,
379
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:54,136
and I want to have the house and,
you know, the white picket fence,
380
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,456
and the children and the dog,
381
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:02,056
and the nice kitchen with
the island in the middle,
382
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:06,016
and I know that, you know, I
know that sounds materialistic
383
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:07,640
but I think it's more than that.
384
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,616
I don't know, I guess I just
don't see the point in being
385
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:14,480
in a relationship
for the sake of it.
386
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,016
Like, what's the point?
387
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,096
What's the point in being
with someone who isn't right,
388
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:20,616
just cos you're
scared of being alone?
389
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,376
You know, I would
rather be on my own than
390
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,496
be with someone who isn't right.
391
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,016
And I see so many women, and
so many people that we know,
392
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,856
they've panicked and they have
settled for, like, the next guy,
393
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,216
this, like, he'll do, I've
just got to have kids, and,
394
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,616
and I just, I don't
want to be that person.
395
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,416
I, I want something more, I...
396
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:43,480
I do.
397
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,976
And you know what
my biggest fear is?
398
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,696
My biggest fear is that
actually I'm getting it wrong,
399
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,576
and maybe my mum's right, I'm going
to wake up and I'm going to be...
400
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,816
And it's going to be too late,
and I'm going to realise too late
401
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:58,896
that that is what I want,
402
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,496
that is what I want
and I've fucked it up.
403
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,640
I'm terrified of fucking it up.
404
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:11,576
Fucking ridiculous, actually.
405
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,496
It's so fucking unfair.
406
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,096
It's so fucking unfair that we
even have to think about this now.
407
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:18,856
Guys can decide to have kids when
they're 50, it's not an issue,
408
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:24,376
but the moment we hit 35, it's,
like, you've got to decide now
409
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,136
or it's going to be too late.
410
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:27,416
And like, you know,
411
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,376
what we've been told from, like,
our teenage years to our 20s,
412
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,056
like, it's like the worst thing
that can happen is to get pregnant.
413
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,976
It's, like, the end, your
life will be over, right?
414
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,576
That's what we're told,
415
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,056
that's, like, drilled into
us from such a young age,
416
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,256
and then suddenly it's,
like, it switches,
417
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,736
it goes from, like, don't
get pregnant, to, like,
418
00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,536
you'd better fucking get pregnant
or, or you've missed your chance.
419
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,576
And that's, like, literally that
change happens in like five years
420
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,616
in your 30s, and it's
just, like, what the fuck?
421
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,496
So now, in this tiny space of
time, I'm meant to find the guy,
422
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,656
the perfect guy, the guy
that I could potentially
423
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,936
spend the rest of my life with,
and do that, and get all that done?
424
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:02,056
I just think it's insane,
425
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,256
I think it's crazy, I
think it's fucking crazy.
426
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,376
I just... And I don't want
to buy into any of that crap,
427
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,320
but, yeah, I still, obviously,
I'm bothered by this crap.
428
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,096
Good morning. Morning, I have
an appointment with Dr Saris.
429
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,000
Sure, can I have
your name? Hannah Li.
430
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,616
If you'd just like to take a
seat, he'll be with you shortly.
431
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:49,680
Thanks.
432
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,456
Obviously, it very much depends
on who's doing the egg freezing,
433
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,896
what their age is and how
many eggs we can get as well.
434
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,336
The success rate of
somebody who's in their 20s,
435
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,416
where you might have
10 or 12 eggs frozen,
436
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:24,056
might be as high as 40% or 50%,
437
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,136
but for a woman
who's in her 40s,
438
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,496
the success rate
can be as low as 1%.
439
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:32,176
So, at the age that you are,
very roughly, we would expect
440
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,576
about a 3% to 4% chance of
each egg to give us a baby.
441
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,256
Three to four? Per egg.
442
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,656
But of course if we
have a number of eggs,
443
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,216
ten eggs, or a dozen
eggs, for example,
444
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:46,816
it can be anywhere between 20%,
25%, maybe even 30% success rate.
445
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,616
Egg freezing is like
an insurance policy,
446
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,576
but actually it's not a
very good insurance policy,
447
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:53,656
because you'd expect a good
insurance policy to pay out
448
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:58,536
every time that you need it, as
opposed to this is a might pay out.
449
00:32:58,560 --> 00:32:59,656
But it's the best that we have,
450
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:01,536
unfortunately we have
nothing better than that.
451
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:02,896
It's hope, though, isn't it?
452
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,176
It is hope, but it wouldn't be
right for me to tell somebody
453
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,360
that this is a guarantee, when
in fact it's just a possibility.
454
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:22,680
You OK?
455
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,030
[AUTOMATED VOICE:]
Lift going down.
456
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:32,856
[AUTOMATED VOICE: ]Ground floor.
457
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:34,040
Don't look so worried.
458
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,936
Mum.
459
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,296
It's OK.
460
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,216
It went really
well, really well.
461
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:45,520
OK?
462
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:50,976
Look, he was amazing, the doctor,
you know, he really reassured me
463
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,296
and we talked through
everything, and,
464
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:55,720
yeah, I'm, I'm going to do it.
465
00:33:58,520 --> 00:33:59,560
I am.
466
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,376
You should be happy for me,
467
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:04,496
you should be happy
that I'm going to have,
468
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:08,016
I'm going to have some options,
I'm going to have some more time.
469
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,016
It's a good thing.
470
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,376
It really is, it's a good thing.
471
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,896
You know, yeah,
472
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,456
I can, in a few years, if
I've met someone we can,
473
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:21,416
you know, we could, we
could do this together.
474
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:24,776
Or if I haven't met someone
I could do it on my own,
475
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:25,816
it's all possible.
476
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,120
It's brilliant, really.
477
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:29,856
I promise you.
478
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,440
Don't look so worried.
479
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:34,280
Come here.
480
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:39,200
It's all right.
481
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,696
I really wish you'd
been there, actually.
482
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:46,536
If you'd heard
what he had to say,
483
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,336
I think you'd feel so
much better about it.
484
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:50,400
Come on.
485
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,400
Honestly, it's really
exciting, what they can do.
486
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,096
It's OK.
487
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,496
It's OK, look, you were the one
who told me to come up with a plan,
488
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:01,456
this is my plan.
489
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,056
It's a good plan.
490
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:04,176
Are you sure?
491
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:05,200
I'm sure.
492
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,616
OK, Hannah, what I'm
going to do now is
493
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,976
I'm just going to
insert the probe.
494
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,920
You might feel a
little bit of pressure.
495
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,616
And, if you want, you can
look at the screen as well.
496
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:35,416
So here, I'm just
looking at the womb.
497
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,056
This little triangle
inside is the cavity,
498
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,416
and you'll see just
here how on either side
499
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,536
the tubes are going
out of the womb.
500
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:46,816
And we'll check that
a little bit later.
501
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:51,136
And here what we're looking
at is the ovary on one side,
502
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,176
this little grey area.
503
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:56,736
And what I'm trying to see is how
many of these little black spots
504
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,440
I can see inside, which is
where eggs are developing.
505
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,376
OK, so now that we've looked
at the ovaries and the womb,
506
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,136
I'm just going to arrange for
you to have your blood test
507
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:13,536
and after that I'll see you
back in the consulting room.
508
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:19,056
So for somebody of your age, we'd
expect to see 15 or 16 of these
509
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,776
little developing follicles
with their eggs inside.
510
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,416
But when I scanned you,
511
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,456
unfortunately what I
saw was one follicle.
512
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,256
Now, the blood test that we did
513
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,056
it's another way at looking
what's happening in your ovaries,
514
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,416
and again, your result
came back very low.
515
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,016
In combination, those
two tests tells us
516
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,896
that the number of eggs your
ovary is releasing every month
517
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:46,176
is much less than we would
expect for someone of your age.
518
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,336
The final test that we
did looks at the tubes
519
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,056
that connect the ovaries
to the womb. Mm-hm.
520
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:57,216
And, unfortunately what
that test showed us
521
00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:00,816
is that both tubes
appear to be blocked,
522
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,440
and not to be working properly.
523
00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:04,800
So
524
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:12,376
What exactly does
that mean for me?
525
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,336
Well, the chance of achieving a
526
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,536
natural pregnancy on
your own is very low.
527
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,056
Now, for egg freezing
to be something
528
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,936
which is worthwhile from
an insurance point of view,
529
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,896
we would want to be able to
collect a good number of eggs.
530
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:30,536
And based on today's,
uh, information,
531
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:36,336
we would be very unlikely to be
able to collect that number of eggs,
532
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,456
even with multiple cycles
of egg freezing. OK.
533
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:43,736
Also, even if we tried to do
something like IVF, although not
534
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,880
impossible, the chance of success
would be very low as well.
535
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,080
OK.
536
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:59,416
I know it's a lot to
process right now.
537
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:03,416
We can arrange for another meeting
to talk about it again. Mm.
538
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,736
Also, what a lot of
women find useful is
539
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:07,536
maybe speak to a counsellor.
540
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,760
I can give you details
for that as well.
541
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,896
OK, yeah, erm
542
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:16,696
yeah, that would be, that would
be good, thank you. Thank you.
543
00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:18,056
Do you have any other questions?
544
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,520
Anything else I can help
you with at this moment?
545
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,696
No, no, no other questions.
546
00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:26,000
Thanks very much.
547
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:46,480
[LEAVES RUSTLING]
548
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:08,160
[MUSIC BEGINS PLAYING]
549
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,440
[DOORBELL RINGS]
550
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:24,920
MUSIC PLAYS
551
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:31,840
? My life, my life, my life,
my life in the sunshine
552
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,760
? Everybody loves the sunshine
553
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,320
? Sunshine
554
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,240
? Everybody loves the sunshine
555
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:55,200
? Sunshine
556
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,000
? Folks get down in the sunshine
557
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:03,800
? Ooh-ooh
558
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,976
? Sunshine
559
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,040
? Yeah
560
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,000
? Folks get 'round
in the sunshine
561
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,240
? Just bees and
things and flowers
562
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,080
? Just bees and
things and flowers
563
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,720
? Just bees and
things and flowers
564
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,720
? Just bees and
things and flowers
565
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:57,400
? My life, my life, my life,
my life in the sunshine
566
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,280
? Everybody loves the sunshine
567
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:09,480
? Sunshine
568
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,320
? Everybody loves the sunshine
569
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:21,280
? Sunshine
570
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,080
? Folks get down in the sunshine
571
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,200
? Sunshine
572
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,960
? Folks get 'round
in the sunshine
573
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:59,840
? Feel, what I feel, when I feel,
what I feel, when I'm feelin'... ?
574
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,400
I used to think there was
something wrong with me.
575
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,560
Cos I'd get bored
of people so easily.
576
00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:22,280
I mean, at this bit for example
577
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:25,480
most of the time, like after
578
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:31,520
after I've done it,
like I just kind of.
579
00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:37,120
I'm not interested anymore. Like,
I could take it or leave it. Mm.
580
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:40,040
But, erm...
581
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:44,896
I just
582
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:46,240
I don't know, well.
583
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:49,160
I'm really liking this.
584
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,280
I'm really, really
liking this and... Hm.
585
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:58,520
I just kind of, erm...
586
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,520
I don't want to leave.
587
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:06,200
I, erm.
588
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:13,560
I don't want to mess this up.
589
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:18,496
Let's not worry about kids.
590
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:20,896
We don't have to
worry about kids,
591
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:21,960
This is
592
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:24,400
just about you and me.
593
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,840
This could be that
65 year thing.
594
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,680
This, this is the one.
595
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,320
Fucking hell.
596
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,136
Oh, my God.
597
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:56,056
I don't get you,
I do not get it.
598
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,376
Are you telling me that all
that stuff you said to me,
599
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,176
about how I make you feel?
600
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:01,696
You do. Right?
601
00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:04,456
And now you just want, you
just want to dash it all away?
602
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,296
That's not what I'm saying. Hm?
603
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:09,336
I can't carry on with you
as if nothing has happened,
604
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,936
things have changed for me.
605
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:17,360
And I feel like I can be
OK, but I need some time.
606
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:22,240
Honestly, I don't think I can
be in a relationship right now.
607
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,200
Can you understand that?
608
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:31,056
Isn't there a world, right,
where I can help with that?
609
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:35,576
I don't want you... I cannot rely on
someone else to get me through this.
610
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,176
I need to know that
I've done it for myself.
611
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,176
And I'm sorry, I know you want to
be the knight in shining arm our,
612
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,736
and you want to just, you know,
help me pick up the pieces,
613
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,776
but to be honest, and that's
614
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,136
I don't mean to sound
disrespectful, but I need to...
615
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,880
I need you to understand why
I need to do this by myself.
616
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:53,520
I have to.
617
00:44:56,480 --> 00:45:04,480
[PIANO MELODY PLAYS]
618
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:26,840
[MELODY CONTINUES]
619
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:48,560
[MELODY INTENSIFIES]
620
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:16,360
[MELODY FADES OUT]
621
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,000
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