All language subtitles for Everybody.Hates.Chris.S03E17.WEBRip.x265-ION265.en

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:03,104 (theme from Cops playing) 2 00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:05,773 * Bad boys, whatcha want... 3 00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:08,576 CHRIS ROCK: Typically, in the barbershop, I heard good news. 4 00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,344 Did you hear? 5 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,180 They renewed The Jeffersons for another season. 6 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,115 I love me some Weezie, boy-- whoo! 7 00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,084 Did you hear the Voyager space probe 8 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,485 had its first encounter with Uranus? 9 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,620 But on this day, I got the worst news 10 00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,222 I could imagine. Did y'all hear? 11 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:23,124 Malvo is out of prison. 12 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:26,127 Malvo was the career criminal that I had helped put away. 13 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,462 But like the Terminator, everybody knew he'd be back, 14 00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,131 and they were ready. 15 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,400 Shoot, I put extra locks on my doors. 16 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,402 I put two locks on my bike. 17 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,270 I locked up my locks. 18 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:37,738 I ain't scared of Malvo. 19 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,573 This is called "barbershop courage." 20 00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:41,075 Hey, Chris! 21 00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:45,446 Chris, Malvo's looking for you-oo-ooh! 22 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,815 Say what?! 23 00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:50,251 * Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? * 24 00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:51,385 * Bad boys, bad boys 25 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:52,620 * Whatcha gonna do? 26 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:53,754 * Whatcha gonna do... 27 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,424 Somebody help! 28 00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,826 (grunts) (muffled shout from inside) 29 00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,528 Let me in! Please! 30 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,263 (sobbing) 31 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,200 Malvo. 32 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,668 Where you been? 33 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,271 Jail. Yep, that's where you were. 34 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:13,574 Yeah, well, now I'm out-- and I need you to help me. 35 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,310 I could only imagine what he wanted help with. 36 00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:18,846 (gunshots) 37 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,748 Drive, boy! Drive! 38 00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:22,450 (tires squeal) 39 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:23,684 Help with what? 40 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,319 Look... 41 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,555 you the smartest person I know. 42 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:28,789 Sad but true. 43 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,292 So I need you to help me to get into high school. 44 00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,261 Wait, why do you want to break into high school? 45 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:34,462 There's nothing worth stealing. 46 00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,397 I know-- I made that mistake before. 47 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,399 He was sentenced to stealing a book 48 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,235 about sentences. I don't want to break in to high school, 49 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:43,137 I want to get into high school. 50 00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:45,639 That'll be the first step to turning my life around. 51 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,341 What do you want from me? 52 00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,876 I want you to tutor me. 53 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,711 Why don't you just take the GED? 54 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,880 I don't want no GED! 55 00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,149 I want the complete experience. 56 00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:58,486 I want to sit at the desk, I want to smell the textbooks 57 00:01:58,519 --> 00:01:59,787 and the chalk, 58 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,689 and I want to be with the other kids, 59 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,324 frolicking. 60 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,793 Sounds like Michael Jackson's diary. 61 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:08,429 I-I don't mean to make you mad... 62 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,331 or anything... 63 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,333 but... 64 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:15,536 hypothetically speaking, what would happen if I said no? 65 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,638 Nothing. 66 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,840 I'm trying to change. 67 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:22,943 It's not like I'll beat you up or stab you or anything. 68 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,779 That's how Ike proposed to Tina. 69 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:29,617 Oh. Well, then, in that case... 70 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,386 my answer would have to be... 71 00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:33,821 no. 72 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:35,856 Run! 73 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,468 * Aw, make it funky now. 74 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,871 Captioning sponsored by PARAMOUNT TELEVISION 75 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,393 The men in my family loved baseball, 76 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:14,328 and even though we lived in New York, 77 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:17,298 my dad's favorite team was the Los Angeles Dodgers. 78 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,467 Hey, son, what you listening to? The Mets. 79 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,402 They're my new favorite baseball team. 80 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:23,571 (screaming): No...! 81 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,308 What did you say? 82 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,277 They're, like, the best team in the league. 83 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,811 They're probably gonna win the World Series. 84 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,013 What about the Dodgers? 85 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,548 What about 'em? 86 00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:37,285 They hired Jackie Robinson. 87 00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:38,686 So? 88 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,389 Don't you realize that without the Dodgers, 89 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,491 there'd be no black people in baseball? 90 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:45,259 The Dodgers are from Brooklyn. 91 00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:47,661 The Dodgers have famous hot dogs. 92 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:49,730 The Dodgers have better logos. 93 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,300 The Dodgers marched with Dr. King. 94 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,336 I don't care. I still like the Mets. 95 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:58,539 I guess you can buy your own food and clothing. 96 00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,707 Mature. 97 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,609 Wait, Dad, don't be like that. 98 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,845 Just admit it-- the Mets are a better team than the Dodgers. 99 00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:07,047 My father believed in the Dodgers so much, 100 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,682 he did the unthinkable. 101 00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:10,684 You want to put some money on it? 102 00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,886 A bet? Yeah. 103 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,955 The Dodgers are in town this weekend 104 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,890 against the Mets, for three games. 105 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,726 We'll see who's the better team. 106 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,361 How much? 107 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:21,962 A dollar. 108 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:24,031 Okay, you're on. 109 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,601 Take this in the house. 110 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:32,640 (Mets game continues over radio) 111 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,074 Back at the barbershop, 112 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,544 everybody wanted to know how I was still alive. 113 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:37,778 And you said no? 114 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:38,912 Yeah. Ain't nobody scared of Malvo. 115 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:39,980 Except you. 116 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,583 Uh! I would have never said no. 117 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,385 (chuckles): Mm. Mm, what? 118 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,586 What do you mean? 119 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,787 The man was asking for your help, 120 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,956 and you turned him down-- sometimes people need a hand. 121 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,058 Now, back when I hadtroubles, 122 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,694 if it wasn't for Supercuts Johnson, I don't know where I'd be today. 123 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:55,963 Supercut Johnson? Who's that? 124 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,030 Anywhere relation to Jehri Curl Johnson? 125 00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,467 He was a barber when I was doing time in prison. 126 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,068 He used to cut hair on death row. 127 00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:02,570 Why would you want to get your hair cut 128 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:03,704 when you're on death row? 129 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,873 You was in the joint? Oh, yeah. 130 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:06,940 Man, what'd you do? 131 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,476 You know that tag on the mattress 132 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,578 that says "Do not pull off"? I pulled that thing off. 133 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,346 Do not pull that tag off, man. 134 00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,647 They are not playing with y'all. 135 00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,683 So Supercuts Johnson taught you how to cut hair? 136 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:16,784 Not only that, 137 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,352 he told me that everybody deserves 138 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,587 a second chance. 139 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,721 CHRIS: Well, where is he now? 140 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,122 Oh, he's dead. 141 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,056 He got the chair. 142 00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,658 But he looked good. 143 00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:26,527 So, do you think Malvo deserves a second chance? 144 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,128 Look, your life is on the line, man. 145 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,130 Do you think he needs a second chance? 146 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,533 Think about it. 147 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:36,604 Latrinda, those are some nice earrings. 148 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,772 My mom would never let me wear those. 149 00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,608 My mama don't know-- these are hers. 150 00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:42,476 I wear her stuff all the time. 151 00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:43,611 Can I try 'em on? 152 00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,946 Yeah. 153 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,652 Hey, ladies. 154 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,054 What are y'all up to? Nothing. 155 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,457 Thank you so much for letting me come over 156 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,526 and play with Tonya. On, no problem, Latrinda. 157 00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,828 I'm happy she finally has somebody nice to play with. 158 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,095 You guys come on downstairs. 159 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,064 I'm making some snacks. Okay. 160 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,436 If I helped Malvo, 161 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,137 maybe someday he would help someone else-- 162 00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,005 or at least kill one less person. 163 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,074 Can't you see I'm trying to better myself? 164 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,109 Malvo. What?! 165 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,845 I decided to help you. 166 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,481 Looks like I ain't gonna be needing you 167 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,749 after all, Four Eyes! 168 00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,551 Get out of here! 169 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,086 I thought you said you weren't gonna beat anybody up. 170 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,989 I wasn't beating him up, I was threatening him! 171 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,958 He'd gone from a felony to a misdemeanor. 172 00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,159 That was progress. 173 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,861 All right. Well, let's get started. 174 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,996 Okay. 175 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,699 When I told my parents about Malvo, 176 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,901 they insisted on talking to him, 177 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,570 but they were prepared for anything. 178 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,939 I made you all a bean pie. 179 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:48,609 Oh! Thank you! MALVO: No. Thank you. 180 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,778 Thank y'all for having me over. 181 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,781 No problem. It was our pleasure. 182 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,783 So, I understand you want our son 183 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,885 to help you get into high school. Yes, sir. 184 00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:01,154 Well, you do realize it's not a school to get high? 185 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,790 MALVO: Yes, ma'am. I figure if I'm 186 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,759 gonna turn my life around, it starts with education. 187 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,061 That's nice; education is good. 188 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,598 So what do you plan on doing with this education? 189 00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:13,200 Well, short-term, I was thinking 190 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,135 about becoming a male nurse. 191 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,104 Male nurse-- that's good! 192 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,138 You know, not many of those. 193 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,707 (forced laugh) 194 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,008 That way, he can care for you 195 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,710 after he beats the hell out of you. 196 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,212 Long-term, I was thinking about becoming an astronaut. 197 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,880 (laughing): Whoo, that's way up there. 198 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,749 (Julius and Rochelle laughing) Sky's the limit. 199 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:31,752 He wanted to be the first man to steal things in space. 200 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,721 You know, Malvo, we-we really appreciate 201 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,089 what you're trying to do. 202 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,725 JULIUS: Yeah, but, um, 203 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:41,194 we kind of don't like the idea of our son hanging out 204 00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:43,597 with a... ex-con. 205 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:44,732 Ex-con, yeah. 206 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:48,569 I understand, sir, but all I want is a second chance. 207 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,771 I mean, if I can turn my life around 208 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,540 and become a guy like you, 209 00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,174 the world will see me differently. 210 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,210 No, they won't. 211 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,616 Congratulations. 212 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,285 (Julius and Rochelle laughing nervously) Good luck. 213 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,922 Good luck. Good luck. 214 00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:13,293 CHRIS: So, uh, Malvo, do you have all your records? 215 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,063 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, those were lost in a... 216 00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,298 school "fire." I don't know why he's doing quotes. 217 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,300 He actually set the school on fire. 218 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,671 Well, you know, I-I work for the Department of Records. 219 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,706 Maybe I could help you find, 220 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,207 you know, some copies of yours. 221 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,142 That'd be great; I'd be most gracious. 222 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,778 "Most gracious." 223 00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,279 Good word. 224 00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,055 Come on, man. 225 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,925 (knocking) Malvo was trying to do right, 226 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,294 but wrong was knocking at our door. 227 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,902 Can I help you? 228 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,303 Yeah, you Tonya's mother? 229 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,039 Yes, I am. Who are you? 230 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,941 I'm Alyson; I'm Latrinda's mother. 231 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,010 I'm here to talk to you about what your daughter did. 232 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,145 Well, what did my daughter do? 233 00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,714 Well, she talked my little Latrinda 234 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,081 into going to see an R-rated movie 235 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,349 and I don't appreciate it. 236 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,251 I don't appreciate that outfit. 237 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:14,788 Well, that does not sound like my Tonya, 238 00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:17,758 but I promise you I'll get down to the bottom of it. 239 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,660 Yeah, you do that. 240 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:22,195 I miss Salt-N-Pepa. 241 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,801 What happened at the movies? 242 00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,269 What do you mean? 243 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,871 Latrinda's mother just came here and told me 244 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,806 you dragged her to an R-rated movie. 245 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,274 No, that's not what happened. 246 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,076 Latrinda's mother was supposed to come with us 247 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:39,146 to see Police Academy 3, but she just dropped us off, 248 00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,748 so Latrinda wanted to sneak in 249 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,349 to some movie called Kiss of the Spider Woman, 250 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,618 and they had all nasty killing and stuff in there 251 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,053 and I didn't want to see it, so I left. 252 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,921 Mm... 253 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,259 I was used to seeing Malvo getting booked, 254 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,627 not reading one. 255 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:54,795 Hey, Chris. 256 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,229 Hey, Malvo. Where you going? 257 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:59,700 Down to Greenwich Village to play Scrabble in the park. 258 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,635 What have you got there, an abacus? 259 00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:02,870 No. 260 00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:05,072 Well, it's obviously not an abalone. 261 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,306 What are you talking about? 262 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,375 I'm just practicing my new words. 263 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,844 Oh, well... listen, man, 264 00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:12,145 my mom pulled up your records. 265 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:14,181 There's no way you can get into high school. 266 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,683 Why not? 267 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:18,151 You never graduated junior high school. 268 00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,722 Now I feel abysmal. 269 00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,958 Nothing sadder than a depressed gangster. 270 00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:31,231 Since I didn't know how to get Malvo past the eighth grade, 271 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,433 I decided to ask a professional. 272 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,703 Chris, this is wonderful. 273 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:38,071 You're like a one-man Operation PUSH. 274 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,073 Thank you. And Malvo, 275 00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:44,344 with the proper education, you can do so many things. 276 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:46,714 You could be a garbage collector, 277 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:50,818 garbage truck driver, garbage truck dispatcher. 278 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,452 The list is endless. 279 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,122 So what do you think we should do next? 280 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,124 I've got an idea. 281 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,059 Why don't you sit in-- 282 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,228 which your people have historically been good at-- 283 00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:04,064 and audit my class? 284 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,200 "Audit" means to attend classes or lectures as an auditor. 285 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,902 Auditor means "hearer" or "listener." 286 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,838 Yes. 287 00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:12,239 So, how would that help him? 288 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,942 Well, if he's preparing for an equivalency test, 289 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,177 he needs classroom experience. 290 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,847 It'll help him get acclimated. Acclimated: 291 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,816 "to accustom or to become accustomed to a new climate 292 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:23,917 or an environment." 293 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,085 (laughs) 294 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,254 Thank you, Miss Morello. 295 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:30,991 Yes, thank you. 296 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,326 Chris, I think this is a great way for you 297 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,228 to get your father off the streets. 298 00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,430 And in her bed. 299 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:40,968 Back home, my father was realizing that these weren't 300 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,169 Jackie Robinson's Dodgers. 301 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,038 Yes! Ha! The Mets win again. 302 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,040 Looks like you owe me a dollar. 303 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,309 My father was a strong man, but right then, 304 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:50,944 that dollar weighed a ton. 305 00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:53,246 Double or nothing? 306 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,382 You want to let it ride? 307 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,487 Let it ride. 308 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,194 Malvo was a big hit in school. 309 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,796 Now, when you're on the yard, 310 00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:09,963 it's all about attitude. 311 00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:11,231 If you don't think you're tough, 312 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,532 somebody might shank you, 313 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,767 so you think you're tough, right? 314 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:15,903 Yeah, yeah, I think I'm tough. 315 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,905 And I'm ready for recess. 316 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,072 Yeah, bring it on! 317 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,309 Nice brag, Bobby Joe. 318 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,377 At least he didn't shank you. 319 00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,517 That was sweet. 320 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,320 You gonna do it like that? 321 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,354 Huh? 322 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,023 I'll kill...! 323 00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:39,292 Who can name the five characteristics of an ecosystem? 324 00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:42,329 I see one hand. 325 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,197 Class...? 326 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,999 Anybody else? 327 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:48,335 Your mama's so fat she left a ring around the lake. 328 00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,570 And your mama's teeth so yellow, 329 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,005 when she smile, cars slow down. 330 00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,941 And your mama's so black 331 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:57,110 that she uses Armor All instead of lotion. 332 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,178 You talking about my mama? 333 00:12:58,211 --> 00:12:59,346 No. 334 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,482 Nah, that's a good joke. 335 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,051 Chris, Malvo, 336 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,186 I'm afraid I've got some bad news. 337 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,054 What is it? 338 00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,155 Malvo, there was 339 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,857 a background check done on you 340 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,324 and it was discovered 341 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,927 you were just released from prison. 342 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,063 And although 343 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,498 I find this dance with danger 344 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,034 exciting and titillating, 345 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:24,204 other people are scared out of their minds 346 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,839 and they want you out. 347 00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,074 What other people? 348 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:30,043 Let's just say the higher authorities. 349 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:31,945 Let's just say the white people. 350 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,081 Now how am I supposed to get into high school? 351 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,317 This is like if BET made an after-school special. 352 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,424 Now I was on my own trying 353 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,926 to get Malvo through this process, 354 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,394 but Malvo was making progress. 355 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,096 What year was the Magna Carta signed? 356 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,898 1215. 357 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:51,932 You got another one right. 358 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:52,966 Yeah! 359 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,301 Hey! I was just wondering 360 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,303 how studying was coming along. 361 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,404 Good. 362 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,106 Yeah, Malvo's doing great. 363 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,241 Okay, just checking on you. 364 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,176 Go back to studying. 365 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,413 Okay, um, the Battle of Hastings? 366 00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:07,647 1066. 367 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,017 You, sir, are smarter than a ninth-grader. 368 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,552 And you're only 32. 369 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:15,422 And now another installment of Parenting for Dummies... 370 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,924 Where's my daughter? 371 00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,126 ...at R. Kelly's house. 372 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,228 How would I know? 373 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,897 Well, I called Latrinda from work. 374 00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,198 She says Tonya's coming over. 375 00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,100 I get to the house, nobody's there, 376 00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,635 so, obviously, Tonya dragged her off 377 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,370 to God knows where. 378 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,205 So you're telling me that Latrinda's gone off someplace 379 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,207 and you think Tonya has something to do with it? 380 00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,043 Uh, yeah. 381 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,677 Tonya? 382 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,113 Yes, Mama? 383 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:45,152 Do you have any idea where Latrinda is? 384 00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:46,486 No. 385 00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:47,988 Don't lie to me. 386 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,924 She's at Black Paul's house. 387 00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:51,925 Black Paul?! 388 00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:52,960 Black Paul? 389 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,594 Oh, Lordy, not Black Paul! 390 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:57,364 She asked me to go with her and I said I couldn't come. 391 00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:01,969 Does this answer your question? 392 00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:05,172 Yeah, thank you. 393 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,174 Oh, um, excuse me. 394 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,242 Does, um... does Tonya know 395 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,378 where, exactly, Black Paul lives? 396 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,480 Next door to Brown Willy's house. 397 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:20,988 You and I need to talk... yeah. 398 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,255 I'll be back. 399 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,057 ANNOUNCER: And here's the pitch... 400 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,658 Strike three called! 401 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:27,660 And that's the ball game as the Mets win again 402 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,362 against the Dodgers! Yes! I win again! 403 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:32,032 And that's two in a row... Double or nothing. 404 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,600 Double or nothing? 405 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,068 On two dollars? 406 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:38,071 That's right. Double or nothing. 407 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,140 Got yourself a bet. 408 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,444 Ow! Ow! 409 00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,679 You know, she knows I don't like her 410 00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,215 hanging out with Paul. 411 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,083 I mean, that girl act like she can do 412 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,418 whatever she want to do. 413 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,087 Well, maybe she's not acting. What? 414 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,991 You know, I think you're setting a bad example for her. 415 00:15:58,025 --> 00:16:01,194 Maybe you need to grow up. 416 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,529 What are you talking about? 417 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,231 I mean, look at yourself, Allison. 418 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,333 You running around here looking like Salt-N-Pepa. 419 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:08,201 while your daughter's running the streets 420 00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:09,669 and we out looking for Mr. Goodbar. 421 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,404 Look, you don't know me, okay? 422 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,506 You don't know nothing about me. 423 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,575 You know what? You right. 424 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,511 Maybe I'm the one who's crazy. 425 00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:22,082 I need to be more like you, you know? 426 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,117 Gritty! 427 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,785 Living on the edge! 428 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,254 You know? 429 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,156 Crazy, sexy, cool! 430 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,158 Funky, fresh! 431 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:32,392 You know what? 432 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,094 To hell with these nappy-headed kids, girl. 433 00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:37,264 Let's go out and spray paint a wall. 434 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,199 Let's buy a knife and trade it for a gun. 435 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,567 Matter of fact, let's sell some blood, girl. 436 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,269 What you, A-positive or O? 437 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,571 You know what? Maybe we should get pregnant again. 438 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,173 Let's have another... Or maybe 439 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:48,007 you should just mind your own business. 440 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,613 It was do-or-die for Malvo. 441 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,582 Either he was gonna pass his test 442 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,550 or the world would have one less astronaut. 443 00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:00,320 TEACHER: The answers are all multiple choice. 444 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,589 So make sure you fill in all circles completely. 445 00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,791 Keep your eyes on your own paper. 446 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:08,328 If you cheat, you leave. 447 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,371 Well? 448 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,273 I scored in the 70 percentile. 449 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,508 I passed! 450 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,642 Congratulations. 451 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:23,743 Thanks, Chris, man, 452 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,278 I couldn't did it without you. 453 00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,314 When nobody else believed in me, you did. 454 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:30,183 You the wind beneath beneath my wings. 455 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,785 And he was the convict beneath my nightmares. 456 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,387 Despite the awkwardness of this moment, 457 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:38,491 I was really happy I helped Malvo. 458 00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:41,861 Things were looking good for Malvo, but bad for my father. 459 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,363 ANNOUNCER: The Mets win again, 460 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,199 completing the three-game sweep of the Dodgers. 461 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,367 And the Dodger fans... 462 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,835 It's a sad day, isn't it? 463 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:51,138 I mean, it's got to be hard when you realize 464 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,305 that your team is second-best. 465 00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:55,242 The team you loved your whole life 466 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,409 since you were a little boy. 467 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,514 Here's you four dollars. 468 00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,383 Don't talk to me. 469 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,485 Ow. 470 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,560 Hey. 471 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:16,596 Um, I just came by to apologize. 472 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,598 Really? 473 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:19,866 Yeah, Latrinda 474 00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,434 went and got herself in more trouble. 475 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,836 She said if it was okay for me to act this way, 476 00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,405 then why wasn't it okay for her? 477 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,407 That's a good question. 478 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,608 What did you tell her? 479 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,143 I just told her, I said, 480 00:18:30,177 --> 00:18:31,211 "Look, I'm your mother 481 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,479 "and if you don't straighten up, 482 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:33,380 "then I'm gonna knock the medulla 483 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:34,647 out of your oblongata." 484 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:37,450 That's what I'm talking about! 485 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,186 Good for you, girl. 486 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:42,355 So, um, anyway, I just wanted to say thank you 487 00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,424 for talking to me the way that you did. 488 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,159 It really helped. 489 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,327 Any time. 490 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,429 And you know, who knows? 491 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,631 Maybe sometimes, Latrinda can come over again... 492 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:52,832 Take care, girl. 493 00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,473 So, you enjoying my four dollars? 494 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:01,941 That's long gone. 495 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:05,278 Boy, what can you blow four dollars on that fast? 496 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:09,849 Actually, it was five, but I figured you were worth it. 497 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,818 For the number-one fan 498 00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,453 of thenumber-two team in baseball. 499 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,188 Thanks. 500 00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:16,889 This tender moment should not be diminished, 501 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,426 but later that day my father returned that hat, 502 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,927 got his five dollars back 503 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,263 and ended up a dollar up on the deal. 504 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,434 Hey, Malvo, how's it going? 505 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,202 Pretty good, pretty good. 506 00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:31,804 I made a decision and I wanted to tell you about it first. 507 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,406 About high school? 508 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,642 Yeah. I'm not going. 509 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,910 What?! What are you talking about? 510 00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,846 Getting into high school is harder 511 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,548 that getting into jail. 512 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,217 You got to obey all these rules, you got to fill out forms, 513 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,353 you got to stand in line to get licenses for things. 514 00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,221 What was all this about then? 515 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,622 Why'd you put me through all this? 516 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:51,924 Well, I thought my life would be better 517 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,894 if I wasn't in trouble, and it is better... 518 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,263 but I'm bored, Chris. 519 00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,764 I mean, when we were studying 520 00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,599 and working on stuff together, 521 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:01,734 it was exciting. 522 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,370 But to tell you the truth, Chris, 523 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:04,537 I'm okay at being right, 524 00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:07,340 but I'm an expert at being wrong. 525 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,876 Malvo, you can't do this to me, man. 526 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,578 I mean, what about all my hard work? 527 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,012 Yeah, I appreciate that. 528 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,547 That's why I'm not robbing you anymore. 529 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:15,782 Thanks. 530 00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:17,450 I'm robbing the store. 531 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:18,718 Now give me all the money. 532 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:23,456 * Everybody hates Chris. 533 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:23,556 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org. 35004

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.