All language subtitles for SNL S01E01 George Carlin.DVDRip.HI.RLP.cc.en.UNVSL

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:03,268 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 2 00:00:15,748 --> 00:00:23,100 GOOD EVENING. GOOD EVENING. GOOD EVENING. 3 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:28,638 GOOD EVENING. GOOD EVENING. GOOD EVENING. 4 00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:32,876 GOOD EVENING. GOOD EVENING. GOOD EVENING. 5 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,013 GOOD EVENING. GOOD EVENING. WELL, LET'S BEGIN. 6 00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:38,248 GOOD EVENING. WELL, LET'S BEGIN. REPEAT AFTER ME. 7 00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:39,383 WELL, LET'S BEGIN. REPEAT AFTER ME. "I WOULD LIKE..." 8 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,384 REPEAT AFTER ME. "I WOULD LIKE..." I WOULD LIKE... 9 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:41,385 "I WOULD LIKE..." I WOULD LIKE... "TO FEED YOUR 10 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:41,951 I WOULD LIKE... "TO FEED YOUR FINGERTIPS..." 11 00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,453 "TO FEED YOUR FINGERTIPS..." TO FEED YOUR FINGERTIPS... 12 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,321 FINGERTIPS..." TO FEED YOUR FINGERTIPS... "TO THE WOLVERINES." 13 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:47,391 TO FEED YOUR FINGERTIPS... "TO THE WOLVERINES." TO THE WOLVERINES. 14 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,359 "TO THE WOLVERINES." TO THE WOLVERINES. NEXT... "I AM AFRAID..." 15 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,360 TO THE WOLVERINES. NEXT... "I AM AFRAID..." I AM AFRAID... 16 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,361 NEXT... "I AM AFRAID..." I AM AFRAID... "WE ARE OUT..." 17 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:51,961 I AM AFRAID... "WE ARE OUT..." WE ARE OUT... 18 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:52,829 "WE ARE OUT..." WE ARE OUT... "OF BADGERS." 19 00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:53,830 WE ARE OUT... "OF BADGERS." OF BADGERS. 20 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:54,864 "OF BADGERS." OF BADGERS. "WOULD YOU ACCEPT..." 21 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:55,865 OF BADGERS. "WOULD YOU ACCEPT..." WOULD YOU ACCEPT... 22 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:56,866 "WOULD YOU ACCEPT..." WOULD YOU ACCEPT... "A WOLVERINE..." 23 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:57,734 WOULD YOU ACCEPT... "A WOLVERINE..." A WOLVERINE... 24 00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:58,535 "A WOLVERINE..." A WOLVERINE... "IN ITS PLACE?" 25 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,138 A WOLVERINE... "IN ITS PLACE?" IN ITS PLACE? 26 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:03,507 "IN ITS PLACE?" IN ITS PLACE? NEXT... "'HEY!, ' NED EXCLAIMED." 27 00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:05,842 IN ITS PLACE? NEXT... "'HEY!, ' NED EXCLAIMED." "HEY!, " NED EXCLAIMED. 28 00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:06,843 NEXT... "'HEY!, ' NED EXCLAIMED." "HEY!, " NED EXCLAIMED. "'LET'S BOIL...'" 29 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:07,677 "HEY!," NED EXCLAIMED. "'LET'S BOIL...'" "LET'S BOIL..." 30 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:08,478 "'LET'S BOIL...'" "LET'S BOIL..." "'...THE WOLVERINES.'" 31 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,448 "LET'S BOIL..." "'...THE WOLVERINES.'" "THE WOLVERINES." 32 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:19,056 "'...THE WOLVERINES.'" "THE WOLVERINES." NEXT... [GASPS] 33 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,257 "THE WOLVERINES." NEXT... [GASPS] [GASPS] 34 00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:28,281 NEXT... [GASPS] [GASPS] [LAUGHTER] 35 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:31,301 [GASPS] [LAUGHTER] LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 36 00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,769 [LAUGHTER] LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! 37 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,033 LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! [BAND PLAYS] 38 00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,973 Announcer: STARRING... 39 00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:16,468 THE NOT-FOR-READY-PRIMETIME 40 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:21,106 PLAYERS... 41 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:29,374 AND COMEDIANS... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GEORGE CARLIN! 42 00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,660 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GEORGE CARLIN! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 43 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:10,200 TALK ABOUT A LIVE SHOW. WOW. NICE TO SEE YOU. 44 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,601 WOW. NICE TO SEE YOU. WELCOME, AND THANKS FOR JOINING 45 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,403 NICE TO SEE YOU. WELCOME, AND THANKS FOR JOINING US LIVE. 46 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,071 WELCOME, AND THANKS FOR JOINING US LIVE. KIND OF GLAD THAT WE'RE ON AT 47 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,473 US LIVE. KIND OF GLAD THAT WE'RE ON AT NIGHT SO THAT WE'RE NOT 48 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,241 KIND OF GLAD THAT WE'RE ON AT NIGHT SO THAT WE'RE NOT COMPETING WITH ALL THE FOOTBALL 49 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,843 NIGHT SO THAT WE'RE NOT COMPETING WITH ALL THE FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL GAMES. 50 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,512 COMPETING WITH ALL THE FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL GAMES. SO MANY, MAN. 51 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,547 AND BASEBALL GAMES. SO MANY, MAN. ALL THE TIME. 52 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:24,681 SO MANY, MAN. ALL THE TIME. AND THIS IS THE TIME OF YEAR 53 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,349 ALL THE TIME. AND THIS IS THE TIME OF YEAR WHEN THERE'S BOTH, YOU KNOW? 54 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,250 AND THIS IS THE TIME OF YEAR WHEN THERE'S BOTH, YOU KNOW? FOOTBALL'S KIND OF NICE. 55 00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,318 WHEN THERE'S BOTH, YOU KNOW? FOOTBALL'S KIND OF NICE. THEY CHANGED IT A LITTLE BIT. 56 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,486 FOOTBALL'S KIND OF NICE. THEY CHANGED IT A LITTLE BIT. THEY MOVED THE HASH MARKS IN. 57 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,654 THEY CHANGED IT A LITTLE BIT. THEY MOVED THE HASH MARKS IN. GUYS FOUND THEM AND SMOKED THEM 58 00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:31,188 THEY MOVED THE HASH MARKS IN. GUYS FOUND THEM AND SMOKED THEM ANYWAY. 59 00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:34,457 GUYS FOUND THEM AND SMOKED THEM ANYWAY. [LAUGHTER] 60 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,159 ANYWAY. [LAUGHTER] BUT, YOU KNOW, FOOTBALL WANTS TO 61 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,760 [LAUGHTER] BUT, YOU KNOW, FOOTBALL WANTS TO BE THE NUMBER-ONE SPORT, 62 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,262 BUT, YOU KNOW, FOOTBALL WANTS TO BE THE NUMBER-ONE SPORT, NATIONAL PASTIME, AND I THINK IT 63 00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:40,530 BE THE NUMBER-ONE SPORT, NATIONAL PASTIME, AND I THINK IT ALREADY IS, REALLY, BECAUSE 64 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,964 NATIONAL PASTIME, AND I THINK IT ALREADY IS, REALLY, BECAUSE FOOTBALL REPRESENTS SOMETHING WE 65 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:42,532 ALREADY IS, REALLY, BECAUSE FOOTBALL REPRESENTS SOMETHING WE ARE. 66 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,368 FOOTBALL REPRESENTS SOMETHING WE ARE. WE ARE EUROPE JR. 67 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,570 ARE. WE ARE EUROPE JR. WHEN YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT, 68 00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:47,304 WE ARE EUROPE JR. WHEN YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT, WE'RE EUROPE JR. 69 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,572 WHEN YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT, WE'RE EUROPE JR. WE PLAY THE EUROPE GAME. 70 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,407 WE'RE EUROPE JR. WE PLAY THE EUROPE GAME. WHAT WAS THE EUROPE GAME? 71 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,475 WE PLAY THE EUROPE GAME. WHAT WAS THE EUROPE GAME? "LET'S TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY FROM 72 00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,143 WHAT WAS THE EUROPE GAME? "LET'S TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY FROM THEM! 73 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,378 "LET'S TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY FROM THEM! YOU'LL BE THE PINK, WE'LL BE 74 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,813 THEM! YOU'LL BE THE PINK, WE'LL BE BLUE, AND THEY'LL BE THE GREEN." 75 00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:57,747 YOU'LL BE THE PINK, WE'LL BE BLUE, AND THEY'LL BE THE GREEN." GROUND ACQUISITION. 76 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,015 BLUE, AND THEY'LL BE THE GREEN." GROUND ACQUISITION. AND THAT'S WHAT FOOTBALL IS. 77 00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,250 GROUND ACQUISITION. AND THAT'S WHAT FOOTBALL IS. FOOTBALL IS A GROUND-ACQUISITION 78 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:00,817 AND THAT'S WHAT FOOTBALL IS. FOOTBALL IS A GROUND-ACQUISITION GAME. 79 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,085 FOOTBALL IS A GROUND-ACQUISITION GAME. YOU KNOCK THE CRAP OUT OF 11 80 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,386 GAME. YOU KNOCK THE CRAP OUT OF 11 GUYS AND TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY 81 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,588 YOU KNOCK THE CRAP OUT OF 11 GUYS AND TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY FROM THEM. 82 00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,089 GUYS AND TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY FROM THEM. COURSE, WE ONLY DO IT 10 YARDS 83 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:06,756 FROM THEM. COURSE, WE ONLY DO IT 10 YARDS AT A TIME. 84 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,225 COURSE, WE ONLY DO IT 10 YARDS AT A TIME. THAT'S THE WAY WE DID IT WITH 85 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,992 AT A TIME. THAT'S THE WAY WE DID IT WITH THE INDIANS... LITTLE BY LITTLE. 86 00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,095 THAT'S THE WAY WE DID IT WITH THE INDIANS... LITTLE BY LITTLE. "FIRST DOWN IN OHIO... MIDWEST 87 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,063 THE INDIANS... LITTLE BY LITTLE. "FIRST DOWN IN OHIO... MIDWEST TO GO!" 88 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,633 "FIRST DOWN IN OHIO... MIDWEST TO GO!" I THINK IT'S NOT SURPRISING THAT 89 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,368 TO GO!" I THINK IT'S NOT SURPRISING THAT FOOTBALL VIES AND... 90 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,302 I THINK IT'S NOT SURPRISING THAT FOOTBALL VIES AND... LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY. 91 00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:21,438 FOOTBALL VIES AND... LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY. THERE ARE THINGS ABOUT THE WORDS 92 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,106 LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY. THERE ARE THINGS ABOUT THE WORDS SURROUNDING FOOTBALL AND 93 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:26,209 THERE ARE THINGS ABOUT THE WORDS SURROUNDING FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL WHICH GIVE IT ALL AWAY. 94 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,246 SURROUNDING FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL WHICH GIVE IT ALL AWAY. FOOTBALL IS TECHNOLOGICAL. 95 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:32,382 BASEBALL WHICH GIVE IT ALL AWAY. FOOTBALL IS TECHNOLOGICAL. BASEBALL IS PASTORAL. 96 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:33,916 FOOTBALL IS TECHNOLOGICAL. BASEBALL IS PASTORAL. [LAUGHTER] 97 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,454 BASEBALL IS PASTORAL. [LAUGHTER] FOOTBALL IS PLAYED IN A STADIUM. 98 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,723 [LAUGHTER] FOOTBALL IS PLAYED IN A STADIUM. BASEBALL IS PLAYED IN A PARK. 99 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,824 FOOTBALL IS PLAYED IN A STADIUM. BASEBALL IS PLAYED IN A PARK. [LAUGHTER] 100 00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:44,494 BASEBALL IS PLAYED IN A PARK. [LAUGHTER] IN FOOTBALL, YOU WEAR A HELMET. 101 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,828 [LAUGHTER] IN FOOTBALL, YOU WEAR A HELMET. IN BASEBALL, YOU WEAR A CAP. 102 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:48,531 IN FOOTBALL, YOU WEAR A HELMET. IN BASEBALL, YOU WEAR A CAP. [LAUGHTER] 103 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,267 IN BASEBALL, YOU WEAR A CAP. [LAUGHTER] FOOTBALL IS PLAYED ON AN 104 00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,702 [LAUGHTER] FOOTBALL IS PLAYED ON AN ENCLOSED, RECTANGULAR GRID, AND 105 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,904 FOOTBALL IS PLAYED ON AN ENCLOSED, RECTANGULAR GRID, AND EVERY ONE OF THEM IS THE SAME 106 00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:56,740 ENCLOSED, RECTANGULAR GRID, AND EVERY ONE OF THEM IS THE SAME SIZE. 107 00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,441 EVERY ONE OF THEM IS THE SAME SIZE. BASEBALL IS PLAYED ON AN 108 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,977 SIZE. BASEBALL IS PLAYED ON AN EVER-WIDENING ANGLE THAT REACHES 109 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,546 BASEBALL IS PLAYED ON AN EVER-WIDENING ANGLE THAT REACHES TO INFINITY, AND EVERY PARK IS 110 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:06,516 EVER-WIDENING ANGLE THAT REACHES TO INFINITY, AND EVERY PARK IS DIFFERENT! 111 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:10,687 TO INFINITY, AND EVERY PARK IS DIFFERENT! FOOTBALL IS RIGIDLY TIMED. 112 00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,221 DIFFERENT! FOOTBALL IS RIGIDLY TIMED. BASEBALL HAS NO TIME LIMIT. 113 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,323 FOOTBALL IS RIGIDLY TIMED. BASEBALL HAS NO TIME LIMIT. WE DON'T KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA 114 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:13,923 BASEBALL HAS NO TIME LIMIT. WE DON'T KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA END! 115 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,358 WE DON'T KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA END! [LAUGHTER] 116 00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:16,626 END! [LAUGHTER] WE MIGHT EVEN HAVE EXTRA 117 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,795 [LAUGHTER] WE MIGHT EVEN HAVE EXTRA INNINGS! 118 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,130 WE MIGHT EVEN HAVE EXTRA INNINGS! IN FOOTBALL, YOU GET A PENALTY. 119 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,231 INNINGS! IN FOOTBALL, YOU GET A PENALTY. IN BASEBALL, YOU MAKE AN 120 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,199 IN FOOTBALL, YOU GET A PENALTY. IN BASEBALL, YOU MAKE AN ERROR... WHOOPS! 121 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,868 IN BASEBALL, YOU MAKE AN ERROR... WHOOPS! [LAUGHTER] 122 00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,970 ERROR... WHOOPS! [LAUGHTER] THE OBJECT IN FOOTBALL IS TO 123 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,139 [LAUGHTER] THE OBJECT IN FOOTBALL IS TO MARCH DOWNFIELD AND PENETRATE 124 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,875 THE OBJECT IN FOOTBALL IS TO MARCH DOWNFIELD AND PENETRATE ENEMY TERRITORY AND GET INTO 125 00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:34,744 MARCH DOWNFIELD AND PENETRATE ENEMY TERRITORY AND GET INTO THE END ZONE. 126 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,446 ENEMY TERRITORY AND GET INTO THE END ZONE. IN BASEBALL, THE OBJECT IS TO GO 127 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,782 THE END ZONE. IN BASEBALL, THE OBJECT IS TO GO HOME! 128 00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:41,618 IN BASEBALL, THE OBJECT IS TO GO HOME! "I'M GOING HOME!" 129 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,119 HOME! "I'M GOING HOME!" AND IN FOOTBALL, THEY HAVE THE 130 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,488 "I'M GOING HOME!" AND IN FOOTBALL, THEY HAVE THE CLIP, THE HIT, THE BLOCK, THE 131 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,256 AND IN FOOTBALL, THEY HAVE THE CLIP, THE HIT, THE BLOCK, THE TACKLE, THE BLITZ, THE BOMB, THE 132 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,459 CLIP, THE HIT, THE BLOCK, THE TACKLE, THE BLITZ, THE BOMB, THE OFFENSE AND THE DEFENSE. 133 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,260 TACKLE, THE BLITZ, THE BOMB, THE OFFENSE AND THE DEFENSE. IN BASEBALL, THEY HAVE... 134 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,095 OFFENSE AND THE DEFENSE. IN BASEBALL, THEY HAVE... THE SACRIFICE. 135 00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,799 IN BASEBALL, THEY HAVE... THE SACRIFICE. [LAUGHTER, CHEERS, APPLAUSE] 136 00:06:07,132 --> 00:06:11,481 [SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS] HONEY, I'M HOME! DADDY! 137 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:12,482 HONEY, I'M HOME! DADDY! HEY, PAL! 138 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,916 DADDY! HEY, PAL! [LAUGHING] 139 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,586 HEY, PAL! [LAUGHING] HOW YOU DOING? 140 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,587 [LAUGHING] HOW YOU DOING? Announcer: YOU HAVE A LOVELY 141 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:20,022 HOW YOU DOING? Announcer: YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME, A GOOD JOB, SOLID 142 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,725 Announcer: YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME, A GOOD JOB, SOLID INVESTMENTS, A WONDERFUL 143 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,626 HOME, A GOOD JOB, SOLID INVESTMENTS, A WONDERFUL FAMILY... EVERYTHING YOU NEED 144 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,194 INVESTMENTS, A WONDERFUL FAMILY... EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR THE FUTURE. 145 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,529 FAMILY... EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR THE FUTURE. OR IS IT? 146 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,698 FOR THE FUTURE. OR IS IT? WHAT IF YOU WERE SUDDENLY OUT OF 147 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:29,833 OR IS IT? WHAT IF YOU WERE SUDDENLY OUT OF THE PICTURE? 148 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:33,503 WHAT IF YOU WERE SUDDENLY OUT OF THE PICTURE? [DING!] 149 00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,472 THE PICTURE? [DING!] SHOULD TRAGEDY STRIKE, WHAT 150 00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,139 [DING!] SHOULD TRAGEDY STRIKE, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM? 151 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,875 SHOULD TRAGEDY STRIKE, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM? SURE, YOU'VE PROVIDED FOR THEM 152 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,477 WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM? SURE, YOU'VE PROVIDED FOR THEM FINANCIALLY, BUT WHAT ABOUT 153 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,144 SURE, YOU'VE PROVIDED FOR THEM FINANCIALLY, BUT WHAT ABOUT THEIR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL 154 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,212 FINANCIALLY, BUT WHAT ABOUT THEIR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL NEEDS? 155 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,616 THEIR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL NEEDS? [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 156 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,852 NEEDS? [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] [SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS] 157 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,086 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] [SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS] HONEY, I'M HOME! 158 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:50,720 [SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS] HONEY, I'M HOME! DADDY! 159 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:51,954 HONEY, I'M HOME! DADDY! Announcer: YES, IT'S 160 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,423 DADDY! Announcer: YES, IT'S "NEW DAD"... A RADICALLY NEW 161 00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:54,824 Announcer: YES, IT'S "NEW DAD"... A RADICALLY NEW CONCEPT IN FAMILY INSURANCE 162 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:55,692 "NEW DAD"... A RADICALLY NEW CONCEPT IN FAMILY INSURANCE COVERAGE. 163 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,594 CONCEPT IN FAMILY INSURANCE COVERAGE. WITHIN SECONDS AFTER "OLD DAD" 164 00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,362 COVERAGE. WITHIN SECONDS AFTER "OLD DAD" IS OUT, WE'LL HAVE "NEW DAD" 165 00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,297 WITHIN SECONDS AFTER "OLD DAD" IS OUT, WE'LL HAVE "NEW DAD" THERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE. 166 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,832 IS OUT, WE'LL HAVE "NEW DAD" THERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE. IS YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY 167 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,934 THERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE. IS YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY COVERED, NOT JUST FINANCIALLY, 168 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,770 IS YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY COVERED, NOT JUST FINANCIALLY, BUT IN EVERY WAY? 169 00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:08,237 COVERED, NOT JUST FINANCIALLY, BUT IN EVERY WAY? WHY NOT CALL YOUR LOCAL 170 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,939 BUT IN EVERY WAY? WHY NOT CALL YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENT 171 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,008 WHY NOT CALL YOUR LOCAL INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENT TODAY AND ASK HIM ABOUT OUR 172 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,777 INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENT TODAY AND ASK HIM ABOUT OUR "NEW DAD" POLICY... 173 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,978 TODAY AND ASK HIM ABOUT OUR "NEW DAD" POLICY... BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? 174 00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,381 "NEW DAD" POLICY... BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? THAT'S "NEW DAD"... THE ONLY 175 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,784 BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? THAT'S "NEW DAD"... THE ONLY INSURANCE THAT COVERS ALL OF 176 00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:21,751 THAT'S "NEW DAD"... THE ONLY INSURANCE THAT COVERS ALL OF THEIR NEEDS. 177 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,175 INSURANCE THAT COVERS ALL OF THEIR NEEDS. [SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS] 178 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:39,035 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [BILLY PRESTON'S "NOTHING FROM NOTHING" PLAYS] 179 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,303 [BILLY PRESTON'S "NOTHING FROM NOTHING" PLAYS] Announcer: AND NOW 180 00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,438 [NOTHING" PLAYS] Announcer: AND NOW BILLY PRESTON WITH 181 00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,606 Announcer: AND NOW BILLY PRESTON WITH "NOTHING FROM NOTHING." 182 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:47,343 BILLY PRESTON WITH "NOTHING FROM NOTHING." [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 183 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,178 "NOTHING FROM NOTHING." [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES 184 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,147 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING ♪ 185 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,949 ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ 186 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:56,786 NOTHING ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ 187 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,021 ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES 188 00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,557 ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING ♪ 189 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,492 ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ 190 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,627 NOTHING ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ 191 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,695 ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ ♪ YEAH, YEAH! ♪ 192 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,196 ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ ♪ YEAH, YEAH! ♪ ♪ THAT'S RIGHT, BABY ♪ 193 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,197 ♪ YEAH, YEAH! ♪ ♪ THAT'S RIGHT, BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ 194 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:13,202 ♪ THAT'S RIGHT, BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH! ♪ 195 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,338 ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH! ♪ ♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR 196 00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:17,073 ♪ YEAH! ♪ ♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR HERO ♪ 197 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,909 ♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR HERO ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE THAT ZERO IS TOO COLD 198 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:20,610 HERO ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE THAT ZERO IS TOO COLD FOR ME ♪ 199 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,812 ♪ 'CAUSE THAT ZERO IS TOO COLD FOR ME ♪ BRRR! 200 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,781 FOR ME ♪ BRRR! ♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR 201 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,983 BRRR! ♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR HIGHNESS ♪ 202 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,085 ♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR HIGHNESS ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE THAT MINUS IS TOO LOW 203 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,587 HIGHNESS ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE THAT MINUS IS TOO LOW TO SEE ♪ 204 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:31,821 ♪ 'CAUSE THAT MINUS IS TOO LOW TO SEE ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ 205 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,956 TO SEE ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ YEAH! ♪ 206 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,190 ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ YEAH! ♪ ♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪ 207 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:39,328 ♪ YEAH! ♪ ♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪ ♪ YEAH! ♪ 208 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,130 ♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪ ♪ YEAH! ♪ ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES 209 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,932 ♪ YEAH! ♪ ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING ♪ 210 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,667 ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING ♪ ♪ AND I'M NOT STUFFIN' ♪ 211 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:48,738 NOTHING ♪ ♪ AND I'M NOT STUFFIN' ♪ ♪ BELIEVE YOU ME ♪ 212 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:52,241 ♪ AND I'M NOT STUFFIN' ♪ ♪ BELIEVE YOU ME ♪ ♪ DON'T YOU REMEMBER I TOLD YA ♪ 213 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:55,444 ♪ BELIEVE YOU ME ♪ ♪ DON'T YOU REMEMBER I TOLD YA ♪ ♪ I'M A SOLDIER IN THE WAR ON 214 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,479 ♪ DON'T YOU REMEMBER I TOLD YA ♪ ♪ I'M A SOLDIER IN THE WAR ON POVERTY? ♪ 215 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:57,514 ♪ I'M A SOLDIER IN THE WAR ON POVERTY? ♪ ♪ YES, I AM ♪ 216 00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:58,848 POVERTY? ♪ ♪ YES, I AM ♪ ♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪ 217 00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,916 ♪ YES, I AM ♪ ♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪ ♪ YEAH! ♪ 218 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:05,788 ♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪ ♪ YEAH! ♪ ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ 219 00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,746 ♪ YEAH! ♪ ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ [ORGAN SOLO] 220 00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:34,383 ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING ♪ ISN'T THAT RIGHT? 221 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,485 NOTHING ♪ ISN'T THAT RIGHT? ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ 222 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:37,921 ISN'T THAT RIGHT? ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ 223 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,256 ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ OH, BABY! 224 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,425 ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ OH, BABY! ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES 225 00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,660 OH, BABY! ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING ♪ 226 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,828 ♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES NOTHING ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ 227 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,864 NOTHING ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ ♪ IF YOU'RE GONNA BE WITH ME ♪ 228 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,165 ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ ♪ IF YOU'RE GONNA BE WITH ME ♪ ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ 229 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,332 ♪ IF YOU'RE GONNA BE WITH ME ♪ ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH! ♪ 230 00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:51,568 ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH! ♪ ♪ THAT'S RIGHT! ♪ 231 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:52,602 ♪ YEAH! ♪ ♪ THAT'S RIGHT! ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪ 232 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,738 ♪ THAT'S RIGHT! ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪ ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ 233 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,807 ♪ YEAH ♪ ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ 234 00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:00,043 ♪ YEAH, BABY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ 235 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,444 ♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪ ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO BRING ME SOMETHING, 236 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,580 ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO BRING ME SOMETHING, GIRL... HA! IF YOU WANT TO BE 237 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:04,681 ♪ YOU GOT TO BRING ME SOMETHING, GIRL... HA! IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ 238 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,916 GIRL... HA! IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪ 239 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,251 WITH ME ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪ 240 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,587 ♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪ 241 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:11,688 ♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT! 242 00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,890 ♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT! ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ 243 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:19,629 IT'S ALL RIGHT! ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] 244 00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:22,520 ♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 245 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:41,283 [GAVEL BANGING] NOW I MUST HAVE ORDER, PLEASE, OR I'LL BE FORCED TO CLEAR THIS 246 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,519 NOW I MUST HAVE ORDER, PLEASE, OR I'LL BE FORCED TO CLEAR THIS COURTROOM. 247 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,588 OR I'LL BE FORCED TO CLEAR THIS COURTROOM. MISS DAVIS, WOULD YOU KINDLY 248 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,423 COURTROOM. MISS DAVIS, WOULD YOU KINDLY TELL THE COURT, IN YOUR OWN 249 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,158 MISS DAVIS, WOULD YOU KINDLY TELL THE COURT, IN YOUR OWN WORDS, WHAT THE DEFENDANT 250 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,094 TELL THE COURT, IN YOUR OWN WORDS, WHAT THE DEFENDANT ALLEGEDLY SAID TO YOU WHEN HE 251 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:54,931 WORDS, WHAT THE DEFENDANT ALLEGEDLY SAID TO YOU WHEN HE PULLED YOU INTO THE ALLEYWAY? 252 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,766 ALLEGEDLY SAID TO YOU WHEN HE PULLED YOU INTO THE ALLEYWAY? HE SAID, "HEY... 253 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,300 PULLED YOU INTO THE ALLEYWAY? HE SAID, "HEY... HEY, BABY, H-HOW'D YOU LIKE TO, 254 00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,802 HE SAID, "HEY... HEY, BABY, H-HOW'D YOU LIKE TO, UH..." 255 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,738 HEY, BABY, H-HOW'D YOU LIKE TO, UH..." I CAN'T. 256 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,706 UH..." I CAN'T. [GAVEL BANGS] 257 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,074 I CAN'T. [GAVEL BANGS] NOW, PLEASE, MISS DAVIS, I 258 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,509 [GAVEL BANGS] NOW, PLEASE, MISS DAVIS, I KNOW THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR 259 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:07,744 NOW, PLEASE, MISS DAVIS, I KNOW THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR YOU, BUT THIS IS EXTREMELY 260 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:11,313 KNOW THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR YOU, BUT THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT EVIDENCE. 261 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,715 YOU, BUT THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT EVIDENCE. HE SAID, "H-HOW'D YOU LIKE 262 00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,216 IMPORTANT EVIDENCE. HE SAID, "H-HOW'D YOU LIKE TO, UH..." 263 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,251 HE SAID, "H-HOW'D YOU LIKE TO, UH..." OH, DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT. 264 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,619 TO, UH..." OH, DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT. [Jamaican accent] OBJECTION! 265 00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,354 OH, DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT. [Jamaican accent] OBJECTION! THE WITNESS IS NOT ON TRIAL 266 00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:18,855 [Jamaican accent] OBJECTION! THE WITNESS IS NOT ON TRIAL HERE. 267 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,422 THE WITNESS IS NOT ON TRIAL HERE. NOW, OBVIOUSLY, WHAT HE SAID WAS 268 00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:21,991 HERE. NOW, OBVIOUSLY, WHAT HE SAID WAS TOO UPSETTING FOR HER TO REPEAT. 269 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,526 NOW, OBVIOUSLY, WHAT HE SAID WAS TOO UPSETTING FOR HER TO REPEAT. OBJECTION! HEARSAY. 270 00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,095 TOO UPSETTING FOR HER TO REPEAT. OBJECTION! HEARSAY. GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN. 271 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,698 OBJECTION! HEARSAY. GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN. NOW, SINCE THIS EVIDENCE IS SO 272 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:29,999 GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN. NOW, SINCE THIS EVIDENCE IS SO EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PERHAPS 273 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,400 NOW, SINCE THIS EVIDENCE IS SO EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PERHAPS MISS DAVIS MIGHT WRITE DOWN THE 274 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,769 EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PERHAPS MISS DAVIS MIGHT WRITE DOWN THE DEFENDANT'S REMARKS ON A PIECE 275 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:36,172 MISS DAVIS MIGHT WRITE DOWN THE DEFENDANT'S REMARKS ON A PIECE OF PAPER? 276 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,356 DEFENDANT'S REMARKS ON A PIECE OF PAPER? [CLEARS THROAT] 277 00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:32,117 Announcer: AND NOW HERE'S ANDY KAUFMAN! [APPLAUSE] 278 00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:46,308 [STATIC HISSING] [THEME FROM "MIGHTY MOUSE" PLAYS] 279 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,745 [THEME FROM "MIGHTY MOUSE" PLAYS] ♪ MR. TROUBLE NEVER HANGS 280 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,412 [PLAYS] ♪ MR. TROUBLE NEVER HANGS AROUND ♪ 281 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,949 ♪ MR. TROUBLE NEVER HANGS AROUND ♪ ♪ WHEN HE HEARS THIS MIGHTY 282 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,817 AROUND ♪ ♪ WHEN HE HEARS THIS MIGHTY SOUND ♪ 283 00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:55,718 ♪ WHEN HE HEARS THIS MIGHTY SOUND ♪ [Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I 284 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,787 SOUND ♪ [Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪ 285 00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:58,821 [Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪ ♪ THAT MEANS THAT 286 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,991 COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪ ♪ THAT MEANS THAT MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY ♪ 287 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,893 ♪ THAT MEANS THAT MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY ♪ ♪ YES, SIR, WHEN THERE IS A 288 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,628 MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY ♪ ♪ YES, SIR, WHEN THERE IS A WRONG TO RIGHT ♪ 289 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:08,464 ♪ YES, SIR, WHEN THERE IS A WRONG TO RIGHT ♪ ♪ MIGHTY MOUSE WILL JOIN THE 290 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,266 WRONG TO RIGHT ♪ ♪ MIGHTY MOUSE WILL JOIN THE FIGHT ♪ 291 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,302 ♪ MIGHTY MOUSE WILL JOIN THE FIGHT ♪ ♪ ON THE SEA OR ON THE LAND ♪ 292 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:16,072 FIGHT ♪ ♪ ON THE SEA OR ON THE LAND ♪ ♪ HE GETS THE SITUATION WELL IN 293 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:17,673 ♪ ON THE SEA OR ON THE LAND ♪ ♪ HE GETS THE SITUATION WELL IN HAND ♪ 294 00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:18,975 ♪ HE GETS THE SITUATION WELL IN HAND ♪ ♪ SO THOUGH WE ARE IN 295 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:19,575 HAND ♪ ♪ SO THOUGH WE ARE IN DANGER ♪ 296 00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,744 ♪ SO THOUGH WE ARE IN DANGER ♪ ♪ WE NEVER DESPAIR ♪ 297 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:22,578 DANGER ♪ ♪ WE NEVER DESPAIR ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE KNOW THAT WHERE 298 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,180 ♪ WE NEVER DESPAIR ♪ ♪ 'CAUSE WE KNOW THAT WHERE THERE'S DANGER, HE IS THERE ♪ 299 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,248 ♪ 'CAUSE WE KNOW THAT WHERE THERE'S DANGER, HE IS THERE ♪ ♪ HE IS THERE! 300 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,383 THERE'S DANGER, HE IS THERE ♪ ♪ HE IS THERE! ♪ ON THE LAND, ON THE SEA, IN 301 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,551 ♪ HE IS THERE! ♪ ON THE LAND, ON THE SEA, IN THE AIR! ♪ 302 00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:32,922 ♪ ON THE LAND, ON THE SEA, IN THE AIR! ♪ ♪ WE'RE NOT WORRYIN' AT ALL ♪ 303 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,291 THE AIR! ♪ ♪ WE'RE NOT WORRYIN' AT ALL ♪ ♪ WE'RE JUST LISTENIN' FOR HIS 304 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,059 ♪ WE'RE NOT WORRYIN' AT ALL ♪ ♪ WE'RE JUST LISTENIN' FOR HIS CALL ♪ 305 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,027 ♪ WE'RE JUST LISTENIN' FOR HIS CALL ♪ [Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I 306 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,296 CALL ♪ [Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪ 307 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,230 [Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪ ♪ THAT MEANS THAT 308 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:44,566 COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪ ♪ THAT MEANS THAT MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY ♪ 309 00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:47,270 ♪ THAT MEANS THAT MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY ♪ [INSTRUMENTAL SOLO] 310 00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:07,423 ♪ WE'RE NOT WORRYIN' AT ALL ♪ ♪ WE'RE JUST LISTENIN' FOR HIS CALL ♪ 311 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,324 ♪ WE'RE JUST LISTENIN' FOR HIS CALL ♪ [Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I 312 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,526 CALL ♪ [Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪ 313 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:11,493 [Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪ ♪ THAT MEANS THAT 314 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:14,596 COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪ ♪ THAT MEANS THAT MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY! ♪ 315 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,420 ♪ THAT MEANS THAT MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY! ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 316 00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:25,930 [BAND PLAYS] 317 00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:42,658 THANK YOU. HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE HEARD THIS IN YOUR HOME? 318 00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,493 HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE HEARD THIS IN YOUR HOME? "WHERE'S THE GOOD SCISSORS?" 319 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,762 IN YOUR HOME? "WHERE'S THE GOOD SCISSORS?" [LAUGHTER] 320 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,564 "WHERE'S THE GOOD SCISSORS?" [LAUGHTER] "I CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING NICE IN 321 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,033 [LAUGHTER] "I CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING NICE IN THIS HOUSE." 322 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,168 "I CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING NICE IN THIS HOUSE." HERE'S ANOTHER THING YOU'LL HEAR 323 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:52,568 THIS HOUSE." HERE'S ANOTHER THING YOU'LL HEAR AT HOME. 324 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,004 HERE'S ANOTHER THING YOU'LL HEAR AT HOME. MOSTLY GUYS SAY THIS. 325 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:58,741 AT HOME. MOSTLY GUYS SAY THIS. "HEY, WHO STOLE MY UNDERWEAR?! 326 00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,877 MOSTLY GUYS SAY THIS. "HEY, WHO STOLE MY UNDERWEAR?! SOMEBODY STOLE MY UNDERWEAR!" 327 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,912 "HEY, WHO STOLE MY UNDERWEAR?! SOMEBODY STOLE MY UNDERWEAR!" "WHICH ONE?" 328 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:08,084 SOMEBODY STOLE MY UNDERWEAR!" "WHICH ONE?" "THIS WEEK'S UNDERWEAR." 329 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,186 "WHICH ONE?" "THIS WEEK'S UNDERWEAR." DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THE CROWDS 330 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,088 "THIS WEEK'S UNDERWEAR." DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THE CROWDS IN OLD MOVIES AND WONDER IF 331 00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:12,922 DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THE CROWDS IN OLD MOVIES AND WONDER IF THEY'RE DEAD YET? 332 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,358 IN OLD MOVIES AND WONDER IF THEY'RE DEAD YET? [LAUGHTER] 333 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,225 THEY'RE DEAD YET? [LAUGHTER] THANK YOU. 334 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,626 [LAUGHTER] THANK YOU. I CAN'T HELP IT. 335 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:22,198 THANK YOU. I CAN'T HELP IT. I DO. 336 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,732 I CAN'T HELP IT. I DO. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO THROW 337 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:27,937 I DO. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO THROW AWAY AN OLD WASTEBASKET? 338 00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:28,570 HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO THROW AWAY AN OLD WASTEBASKET? YOU CAN'T DO IT. 339 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,638 AWAY AN OLD WASTEBASKET? YOU CAN'T DO IT. PEOPLE KEEP BRINGING IT BACK TO 340 00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:30,472 YOU CAN'T DO IT. PEOPLE KEEP BRINGING IT BACK TO YOU, MAN. 341 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,108 PEOPLE KEEP BRINGING IT BACK TO YOU, MAN. "HEY, UH, YOUR WASTEBASKET WAS 342 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,175 YOU, MAN. "HEY, UH, YOUR WASTEBASKET WAS IN THE GARBAGE HERE!" 343 00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:37,113 "HEY, UH, YOUR WASTEBASKET WAS IN THE GARBAGE HERE!" [LAUGHTER] 344 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,081 IN THE GARBAGE HERE!" [LAUGHTER] CHECK THIS OUT... WHEN YOU HAVE 345 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,417 [LAUGHTER] CHECK THIS OUT... WHEN YOU HAVE A PACKAGE OF BACON, UNDERNEATH 346 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,920 CHECK THIS OUT... WHEN YOU HAVE A PACKAGE OF BACON, UNDERNEATH ALL THE NEAT, HORIZONTAL STRIPS, 347 00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,521 A PACKAGE OF BACON, UNDERNEATH ALL THE NEAT, HORIZONTAL STRIPS, THERE'S ALWAYS ONE WEIRD PIECE 348 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,385 ALL THE NEAT, HORIZONTAL STRIPS, THERE'S ALWAYS ONE WEIRD PIECE OF BACON. 349 00:15:54,886 --> 00:16:00,369 WHAT DO DOGS DO ON THEIR DAY OFF? THEY CAN'T LIE AROUND. 350 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:04,106 OFF? THEY CAN'T LIE AROUND. THAT'S THEIR JOB, MAN. 351 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,341 THEY CAN'T LIE AROUND. THAT'S THEIR JOB, MAN. AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEARCH YOU 352 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:06,409 THAT'S THEIR JOB, MAN. AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEARCH YOU PRETTY WELL AT THE AIRPORT. 353 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,643 AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEARCH YOU PRETTY WELL AT THE AIRPORT. THERE'LL BE LOTS OF PLACES LATER 354 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,777 PRETTY WELL AT THE AIRPORT. THERE'LL BE LOTS OF PLACES LATER THEY'LL BE SEARCHING US, BUT THE 355 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,946 THERE'LL BE LOTS OF PLACES LATER THEY'LL BE SEARCHING US, BUT THE AIRPORT IS WHERE THEY'RE KIND OF 356 00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:10,579 THEY'LL BE SEARCHING US, BUT THE AIRPORT IS WHERE THEY'RE KIND OF TRYING IT OUT. 357 00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:11,713 AIRPORT IS WHERE THEY'RE KIND OF TRYING IT OUT. AND, AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEND YOUR 358 00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:12,714 TRYING IT OUT. AND, AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEND YOUR BAGS THROUGH TO MAKE SURE 359 00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:13,515 AND, AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEND YOUR BAGS THROUGH TO MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO WEAPONS. 360 00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:14,650 BAGS THROUGH TO MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO WEAPONS. "DON'T WANT ANY WEAPONS ON THE 361 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:15,351 THERE ARE NO WEAPONS. "DON'T WANT ANY WEAPONS ON THE PLANE, YOU KNOW!" 362 00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:16,452 "DON'T WANT ANY WEAPONS ON THE PLANE, YOU KNOW!" THE LITTLE FLUOROSCOPE JOB, AND 363 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,453 PLANE, YOU KNOW!" THE LITTLE FLUOROSCOPE JOB, AND THEY RUN YOU THROUGH THE MODEL 364 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,321 THE LITTLE FLUOROSCOPE JOB, AND THEY RUN YOU THROUGH THE MODEL HOME, AND, "NO WEAPONS! 365 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:18,887 THEY RUN YOU THROUGH THE MODEL HOME, AND, "NO WEAPONS! LET THEM ON!" 366 00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:19,956 HOME, AND, "NO WEAPONS! LET THEM ON!" YOU GET ON THE PLANE, AND YOU'RE 367 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:20,489 LET THEM ON!" YOU GET ON THE PLANE, AND YOU'RE CLEAN! 368 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:21,290 YOU GET ON THE PLANE, AND YOU'RE CLEAN! WHAT DO THEY DO? 369 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,291 CLEAN! WHAT DO THEY DO? THEY GIVE YOU A KNIFE AND A 370 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,426 WHAT DO THEY DO? THEY GIVE YOU A KNIFE AND A FORK AND ALL THE WINE YOU CAN 371 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,594 THEY GIVE YOU A KNIFE AND A FORK AND ALL THE WINE YOU CAN DRINK, MAN. 372 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:26,595 FORK AND ALL THE WINE YOU CAN DRINK, MAN. I MEAN, I COULD TAKE OVER A 373 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:27,596 DRINK, MAN. I MEAN, I COULD TAKE OVER A PLANE WITH A PIECE OF LOOSE-LEAF 374 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,264 I MEAN, I COULD TAKE OVER A PLANE WITH A PIECE OF LOOSE-LEAF PAPER, RIGHT? 375 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,598 PLANE WITH A PIECE OF LOOSE-LEAF PAPER, RIGHT? JUST HOLD IT AT THE STEWARDESS'S 376 00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,435 PAPER, RIGHT? JUST HOLD IT AT THE STEWARDESS'S NECK AND THREATEN PAPER CUTS! 377 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:33,469 JUST HOLD IT AT THE STEWARDESS'S NECK AND THREATEN PAPER CUTS! "DO WHAT HE SAYS! 378 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,404 NECK AND THREATEN PAPER CUTS! "DO WHAT HE SAYS! DO WHAT HE SAYS!" 379 00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,605 "DO WHAT HE SAYS! DO WHAT HE SAYS!" OH! 380 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,342 DO WHAT HE SAYS!" OH! THERE'S A MOMENT COMING... 381 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,443 OH! THERE'S A MOMENT COMING... THERE'S A MOMENT COMING. 382 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,577 THERE'S A MOMENT COMING... THERE'S A MOMENT COMING. IT'S... IT'S NOT HERE YET. 383 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:42,678 THERE'S A MOMENT COMING. IT'S... IT'S NOT HERE YET. IT'S ON THE WAY. 384 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,313 IT'S... IT'S NOT HERE YET. IT'S ON THE WAY. IT'S STILL IN THE FUTURE. 385 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,514 IT'S ON THE WAY. IT'S STILL IN THE FUTURE. HERE... HERE IT IS! 386 00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:48,517 IT'S STILL IN THE FUTURE. HERE... HERE IT IS! OH, IT'S GONE, MAN. 387 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:49,418 HERE... HERE IT IS! OH, IT'S GONE, MAN. THERE'S NO PRESENT. 388 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:50,686 OH, IT'S GONE, MAN. THERE'S NO PRESENT. EVERYTHING IS THE NEAR FUTURE 389 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:51,687 THERE'S NO PRESENT. EVERYTHING IS THE NEAR FUTURE AND THE RECENT PAST. 390 00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:52,688 EVERYTHING IS THE NEAR FUTURE AND THE RECENT PAST. NO WONDER WE CAN'T GET ANYTHING 391 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:53,222 AND THE RECENT PAST. NO WONDER WE CAN'T GET ANYTHING TOGETHER. 392 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,757 NO WONDER WE CAN'T GET ANYTHING TOGETHER. WE'VE GOT NO TIME, MAN. 393 00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:56,993 TOGETHER. WE'VE GOT NO TIME, MAN. WE WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE TO 394 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,727 WE'VE GOT NO TIME, MAN. WE WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE TO YOU JANIS IAN. 395 00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,829 WE WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE TO YOU JANIS IAN. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 396 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,198 YOU JANIS IAN. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [JANIS IAN'S "AT SEVENTEEN" 397 00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:10,222 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [JANIS IAN'S "AT SEVENTEEN" PLAYS] 398 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,975 [JANIS IAN'S "AT SEVENTEEN" PLAYS] ♪ I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT 399 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:15,878 [PLAYS] ♪ I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT SEVENTEEN ♪ 400 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:18,014 ♪ I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT SEVENTEEN ♪ ♪ THAT LOVE WAS MEANT FOR BEAUTY 401 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,516 SEVENTEEN ♪ ♪ THAT LOVE WAS MEANT FOR BEAUTY QUEENS ♪ 402 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,351 ♪ THAT LOVE WAS MEANT FOR BEAUTY QUEENS ♪ ♪ AND HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS WITH 403 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,987 QUEENS ♪ ♪ AND HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS WITH CLEAR-SKINNED SMILES ♪ 404 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,455 ♪ AND HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS WITH CLEAR-SKINNED SMILES ♪ ♪ WHO MARRIED YOUNG AND THEN 405 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:31,593 CLEAR-SKINNED SMILES ♪ ♪ WHO MARRIED YOUNG AND THEN RETIRED ♪ 406 00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:36,532 ♪ WHO MARRIED YOUNG AND THEN RETIRED ♪ ♪ THE VALENTINES I NEVER KNEW ♪ 407 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,068 RETIRED ♪ ♪ THE VALENTINES I NEVER KNEW ♪ ♪ THE FRIDAY NIGHT CHARADES OF 408 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,270 ♪ THE VALENTINES I NEVER KNEW ♪ ♪ THE FRIDAY NIGHT CHARADES OF YOUTH ♪ 409 00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:43,105 ♪ THE FRIDAY NIGHT CHARADES OF YOUTH ♪ ♪ WERE SPENT ON ONE MORE 410 00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,574 YOUTH ♪ ♪ WERE SPENT ON ONE MORE BEAUTIFUL ♪ 411 00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,943 ♪ WERE SPENT ON ONE MORE BEAUTIFUL ♪ ♪ AT SEVENTEEN, I LEARNED THE 412 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:52,081 BEAUTIFUL ♪ ♪ AT SEVENTEEN, I LEARNED THE TRUTH ♪ 413 00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:55,351 ♪ AT SEVENTEEN, I LEARNED THE TRUTH ♪ ♪ AND THOSE OF US WITH RAVAGED 414 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:57,786 TRUTH ♪ ♪ AND THOSE OF US WITH RAVAGED FACES ♪ 415 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:01,657 ♪ AND THOSE OF US WITH RAVAGED FACES ♪ ♪ LACKING IN THE SOCIAL GRACES ♪ 416 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:05,594 FACES ♪ ♪ LACKING IN THE SOCIAL GRACES ♪ ♪ DESPERATELY REMAINED AT HOME ♪ 417 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,230 ♪ LACKING IN THE SOCIAL GRACES ♪ ♪ DESPERATELY REMAINED AT HOME ♪ ♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE 418 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,731 ♪ DESPERATELY REMAINED AT HOME ♪ ♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE PHONE ♪ 419 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,634 ♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE PHONE ♪ ♪ WHO CALLED TO SAY, "COME DANCE 420 00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,537 PHONE ♪ ♪ WHO CALLED TO SAY, "COME DANCE WITH ME" ♪ 421 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,772 ♪ WHO CALLED TO SAY, "COME DANCE WITH ME" ♪ ♪ AND MURMURED VAGUE 422 00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,907 WITH ME" ♪ ♪ AND MURMURED VAGUE OBSCENITIES ♪ 423 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,410 ♪ AND MURMURED VAGUE OBSCENITIES ♪ ♪ IT ISN'T ALL IT SEEMS, AT 424 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,281 OBSCENITIES ♪ ♪ IT ISN'T ALL IT SEEMS, AT SEVENTEEN ♪ 425 00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,550 ♪ IT ISN'T ALL IT SEEMS, AT SEVENTEEN ♪ ♪ A BROWN-EYED GIRL IN 426 00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:30,386 SEVENTEEN ♪ ♪ A BROWN-EYED GIRL IN HAND-ME-DOWNS ♪ 427 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,188 ♪ A BROWN-EYED GIRL IN HAND-ME-DOWNS ♪ ♪ WHOSE NAME I NEVER COULD 428 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,390 HAND-ME-DOWNS ♪ ♪ WHOSE NAME I NEVER COULD PRONOUNCE ♪ 429 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,025 ♪ WHOSE NAME I NEVER COULD PRONOUNCE ♪ ♪ SAID, "PITY, PLEASE, THE ONES 430 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,694 PRONOUNCE ♪ ♪ SAID, "PITY, PLEASE, THE ONES WHO SERVE ♪ 431 00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,596 ♪ SAID, "PITY, PLEASE, THE ONES WHO SERVE ♪ ♪ THEY ONLY GET WHAT THEY 432 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:45,000 WHO SERVE ♪ ♪ THEY ONLY GET WHAT THEY DESERVE" ♪ 433 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,369 ♪ THEY ONLY GET WHAT THEY DESERVE" ♪ ♪ AND THE RICH-RELATIONED 434 00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,572 DESERVE" ♪ ♪ AND THE RICH-RELATIONED HOMETOWN QUEEN ♪ 435 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,908 ♪ AND THE RICH-RELATIONED HOMETOWN QUEEN ♪ ♪ MARRIES INTO WHAT SHE NEEDS ♪ 436 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:58,147 HOMETOWN QUEEN ♪ ♪ MARRIES INTO WHAT SHE NEEDS ♪ ♪ WITH A GUARANTEE OF COMPANY ♪ 437 00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:04,720 ♪ MARRIES INTO WHAT SHE NEEDS ♪ ♪ WITH A GUARANTEE OF COMPANY ♪ ♪ AND HAVEN FOR THE ELDERLY ♪ 438 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,889 ♪ WITH A GUARANTEE OF COMPANY ♪ ♪ AND HAVEN FOR THE ELDERLY ♪ ♪ REMEMBER THOSE WHO WIN THE 439 00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:11,527 ♪ AND HAVEN FOR THE ELDERLY ♪ ♪ REMEMBER THOSE WHO WIN THE GAME LOSE THE LOVE THEY SOUGHT 440 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:12,828 ♪ REMEMBER THOSE WHO WIN THE GAME LOSE THE LOVE THEY SOUGHT TO GAIN ♪ 441 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:16,698 GAME LOSE THE LOVE THEY SOUGHT TO GAIN ♪ ♪ IN DEBENTURES OF QUALITY ♪ 442 00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:21,337 TO GAIN ♪ ♪ IN DEBENTURES OF QUALITY ♪ ♪ AND DUBIOUS INTEGRITY ♪ 443 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,405 ♪ IN DEBENTURES OF QUALITY ♪ ♪ AND DUBIOUS INTEGRITY ♪ ♪ THEIR SMALL-TOWN EYES WILL 444 00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:27,676 ♪ AND DUBIOUS INTEGRITY ♪ ♪ THEIR SMALL-TOWN EYES WILL GAPE AT YOU IN DULL SURPRISE ♪ 445 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,513 ♪ THEIR SMALL-TOWN EYES WILL GAPE AT YOU IN DULL SURPRISE ♪ ♪ WHEN PAYMENT DUE EXCEEDS 446 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,481 GAPE AT YOU IN DULL SURPRISE ♪ ♪ WHEN PAYMENT DUE EXCEEDS ACCOUNTS RECEIVED, AT 447 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,825 ♪ WHEN PAYMENT DUE EXCEEDS ACCOUNTS RECEIVED, AT SEVENTEEN ♪ 448 00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:51,782 ♪ TO THOSE OF US WHO KNEW THE PAIN OF VALENTINES THAT NEVER CAME ♪ 449 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,337 PAIN OF VALENTINES THAT NEVER CAME ♪ ♪ AND THOSE WHOSE NAMES WERE 450 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,873 CAME ♪ ♪ AND THOSE WHOSE NAMES WERE NEVER CALLED ♪ 451 00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,475 ♪ AND THOSE WHOSE NAMES WERE NEVER CALLED ♪ ♪ WHEN CHOOSING SIDES FOR 452 00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:04,046 NEVER CALLED ♪ ♪ WHEN CHOOSING SIDES FOR BASKETBALL ♪ 453 00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:09,585 ♪ WHEN CHOOSING SIDES FOR BASKETBALL ♪ ♪ IT WAS LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY ♪ 454 00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:11,853 BASKETBALL ♪ ♪ IT WAS LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY ♪ ♪ THE WORLD WAS YOUNGER THAN 455 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,190 ♪ IT WAS LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY ♪ ♪ THE WORLD WAS YOUNGER THAN TODAY ♪ 456 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,091 ♪ THE WORLD WAS YOUNGER THAN TODAY ♪ ♪ WHEN DREAMS WERE ALL THEY GAVE 457 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,494 TODAY ♪ ♪ WHEN DREAMS WERE ALL THEY GAVE FOR FREE ♪ 458 00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:21,730 ♪ WHEN DREAMS WERE ALL THEY GAVE FOR FREE ♪ ♪ TO UGLY-DUCKLING GIRLS LIKE 459 00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,932 FOR FREE ♪ ♪ TO UGLY-DUCKLING GIRLS LIKE ME ♪ 460 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:27,369 ♪ TO UGLY-DUCKLING GIRLS LIKE ME ♪ ♪ WE ALL PLAY THE GAME, AND WHEN 461 00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,506 ME ♪ ♪ WE ALL PLAY THE GAME, AND WHEN WE DARE TO CHEAT OURSELVES AT 462 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,408 ♪ WE ALL PLAY THE GAME, AND WHEN WE DARE TO CHEAT OURSELVES AT SOLITAIRE ♪ 463 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,211 WE DARE TO CHEAT OURSELVES AT SOLITAIRE ♪ ♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE 464 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:36,278 SOLITAIRE ♪ ♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE PHONE ♪ 465 00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,947 ♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE PHONE ♪ ♪ REPENTING OTHER LIVES 466 00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,949 PHONE ♪ ♪ REPENTING OTHER LIVES UNKNOWN ♪ 467 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,985 ♪ REPENTING OTHER LIVES UNKNOWN ♪ ♪ THAT CALL AND SAY, "COME DANCE 468 00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:46,088 UNKNOWN ♪ ♪ THAT CALL AND SAY, "COME DANCE WITH ME" AND MURMUR VAGUE 469 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:49,391 ♪ THAT CALL AND SAY, "COME DANCE WITH ME" AND MURMUR VAGUE OBSCENITIES ♪ 470 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,893 WITH ME" AND MURMUR VAGUE OBSCENITIES ♪ ♪ AT UGLY GIRLS LIKE ME, AT 471 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,963 OBSCENITIES ♪ ♪ AT UGLY GIRLS LIKE ME, AT SEVENTEEN ♪ 472 00:20:54,987 --> 00:21:00,636 ♪ AT UGLY GIRLS LIKE ME, AT SEVENTEEN ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] 473 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,593 SEVENTEEN ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 474 00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:15,484 [BOBBY DARIN'S "MACK THE KNIFE" PLAYS] ♪ OH, THE SHARK HAS ♪ 475 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:18,554 [PLAYS] ♪ OH, THE SHARK HAS ♪ ♪ HAS SUCH PRETTY TEETH ♪ 476 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:21,290 ♪ OH, THE SHARK HAS ♪ ♪ HAS SUCH PRETTY TEETH ♪ ♪ AND HE SHOWS THEM ♪ 477 00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,091 ♪ HAS SUCH PRETTY TEETH ♪ ♪ AND HE SHOWS THEM ♪ ♪ PEARLY WHITE ♪ 478 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,393 ♪ AND HE SHOWS THEM ♪ ♪ PEARLY WHITE ♪ HI, I'M PHYLLIS CRAWFORD, AND 479 00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:25,160 ♪ PEARLY WHITE ♪ HI, I'M PHYLLIS CRAWFORD, AND WELCOME TO 480 00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:27,062 HI, I'M PHYLLIS CRAWFORD, AND WELCOME TO "VICTIMS OF SHARK BITE." 481 00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:28,530 WELCOME TO "VICTIMS OF SHARK BITE." MY FIRST GUEST... 482 00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:29,931 "VICTIMS OF SHARK BITE." MY FIRST GUEST... MR. MARTIN GRESNER FROM 483 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,300 MY FIRST GUEST... MR. MARTIN GRESNER FROM LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK. 484 00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:33,569 MR. MARTIN GRESNER FROM LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK. MR. GRESNER, WOULD YOU TELL OUR 485 00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:35,771 LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK. MR. GRESNER, WOULD YOU TELL OUR AUDIENCE JUST HOW YOU BECAME A 486 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,306 MR. GRESNER, WOULD YOU TELL OUR AUDIENCE JUST HOW YOU BECAME A VICTIM OF SHARK BITE? 487 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,007 AUDIENCE JUST HOW YOU BECAME A VICTIM OF SHARK BITE? I'D BE HAPPY TO, PHYLLIS. 488 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:40,476 VICTIM OF SHARK BITE? I'D BE HAPPY TO, PHYLLIS. I WAS SWIMMING ABOUT 50 YARDS 489 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,043 I'D BE HAPPY TO, PHYLLIS. I WAS SWIMMING ABOUT 50 YARDS OFFSHORE FROM MY SUMMER HOME IN 490 00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:44,012 I WAS SWIMMING ABOUT 50 YARDS OFFSHORE FROM MY SUMMER HOME IN MATTATUCK, LONG ISLAND. 491 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,681 OFFSHORE FROM MY SUMMER HOME IN MATTATUCK, LONG ISLAND. IT WAS HIGH TIDE, AND ALL OF A 492 00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,149 MATTATUCK, LONG ISLAND. IT WAS HIGH TIDE, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I FELT THIS SHARP, 493 00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:48,517 IT WAS HIGH TIDE, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, I FELT THIS SHARP, PIERCING PAIN IN MY LEFT 494 00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:49,752 SUDDEN, I FELT THIS SHARP, PIERCING PAIN IN MY LEFT SHOULDER. 495 00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,186 PIERCING PAIN IN MY LEFT SHOULDER. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS AT 496 00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:52,120 SHOULDER. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS AT FIRST. 497 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,023 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS AT FIRST. MY LEFT ARM FELT NUMB. 498 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,159 FIRST. MY LEFT ARM FELT NUMB. WELL, MY ARM WAS GONE. 499 00:21:57,183 --> 00:21:58,193 MY LEFT ARM FELT NUMB. WELL, MY ARM WAS GONE. SINCE THEN, I'VE HAD TO LEARN 500 00:21:58,217 --> 00:21:59,227 WELL, MY ARM WAS GONE. SINCE THEN, I'VE HAD TO LEARN HOW TO DO EVERYTHING WITH MY 501 00:21:59,251 --> 00:21:59,928 SINCE THEN, I'VE HAD TO LEARN HOW TO DO EVERYTHING WITH MY RIGHT HAND. 502 00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:01,463 HOW TO DO EVERYTHING WITH MY RIGHT HAND. JUST WHEN DID THIS INCIDENT 503 00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:02,898 RIGHT HAND. JUST WHEN DID THIS INCIDENT TAKE PLACE? 504 00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:04,667 JUST WHEN DID THIS INCIDENT TAKE PLACE? OH, I'D SAY MAYBE... 505 00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:07,569 TAKE PLACE? OH, I'D SAY MAYBE... THREE, FOUR MONTHS AGO. 506 00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:10,238 OH, I'D SAY MAYBE... THREE, FOUR MONTHS AGO. I'VE HAD, UH... 507 00:22:10,262 --> 00:22:11,607 THREE, FOUR MONTHS AGO. I'VE HAD, UH... I'VE LEARNED HOW TO SHAVE WITH 508 00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:13,008 I'VE HAD, UH... I'VE LEARNED HOW TO SHAVE WITH MY RIGHT HAND AND EAT WITH ONE 509 00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:13,475 I'VE LEARNED HOW TO SHAVE WITH MY RIGHT HAND AND EAT WITH ONE HAND... 510 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,710 MY RIGHT HAND AND EAT WITH ONE HAND... EXCUSE ME, MR. GRESNER, BUT 511 00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:15,944 HAND... EXCUSE ME, MR. GRESNER, BUT IT APPEARS TO ME AS THOUGH YOU 512 00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:17,012 EXCUSE ME, MR. GRESNER, BUT IT APPEARS TO ME AS THOUGH YOU DO HAVE A LEFT ARM THERE. 513 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,013 IT APPEARS TO ME AS THOUGH YOU DO HAVE A LEFT ARM THERE. NOPE, IT'S GONE, SEE? 514 00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:19,014 DO HAVE A LEFT ARM THERE. NOPE, IT'S GONE, SEE? SHARK BIT IT OFF. 515 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:19,615 NOPE, IT'S GONE, SEE? SHARK BIT IT OFF. NOTHING THERE. 516 00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:20,982 SHARK BIT IT OFF. NOTHING THERE. NO, MR. GRESNER, THAT'S YOUR 517 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:21,650 NOTHING THERE. NO, MR. GRESNER, THAT'S YOUR SLEEVE. 518 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:22,984 NO, MR. GRESNER, THAT'S YOUR SLEEVE. YOU DO HAVE A LEFT ARM, AND IT 519 00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:26,288 SLEEVE. YOU DO HAVE A LEFT ARM, AND IT LOOKS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO ME. 520 00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:27,022 YOU DO HAVE A LEFT ARM, AND IT LOOKS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO ME. IT DOES, HUH? 521 00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,291 LOOKS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO ME. IT DOES, HUH? YES. 522 00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:30,326 IT DOES, HUH? YES. OH, IT WAS MY LEG! 523 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,026 YES. OH, IT WAS MY LEG! MY LEG! 524 00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:32,160 OH, IT WAS MY LEG! MY LEG! HE BIT MY LEG OFF, SEE? 525 00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,195 MY LEG! HE BIT MY LEG OFF, SEE? I HAVE TO HOP AROUND ON ONE 526 00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:33,729 HE BIT MY LEG OFF, SEE? I HAVE TO HOP AROUND ON ONE FOOT. 527 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:34,730 I HAVE TO HOP AROUND ON ONE FOOT. I'M AN INVALID. 528 00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:35,731 FOOT. I'M AN INVALID. NO, MR. GRESNER, YOU DO HAVE 529 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:36,231 I'M AN INVALID. NO, MR. GRESNER, YOU DO HAVE A LEG THERE. 530 00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:37,232 NO, MR. GRESNER, YOU DO HAVE A LEG THERE. IT'S TUCKED UNDER YOUR OTHER 531 00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:38,300 A LEG THERE. IT'S TUCKED UNDER YOUR OTHER LEG. 532 00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:39,668 IT'S TUCKED UNDER YOUR OTHER LEG. YOU SEE? YOU'RE FINE. 533 00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,903 LEG. YOU SEE? YOU'RE FINE. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. 534 00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:42,904 YOU SEE? YOU'RE FINE. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. WELL, I SAW THAT MOVIE WHERE 535 00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:43,905 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. WELL, I SAW THAT MOVIE WHERE THAT GUY HAD HIS LEG BIT OFF... 536 00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:45,240 WELL, I SAW THAT MOVIE WHERE THAT GUY HAD HIS LEG BIT OFF... WE'LL BE BACK WITH ANOTHER 537 00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:46,675 THAT GUY HAD HIS LEG BIT OFF... WE'LL BE BACK WITH ANOTHER VICTIM OF SHARK BITE AFTER THIS 538 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:47,476 WE'LL BE BACK WITH ANOTHER VICTIM OF SHARK BITE AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL MESSAGE. 539 00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:48,744 VICTIM OF SHARK BITE AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL MESSAGE. GOT A SCAR HERE WHEN MY 540 00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:50,111 COMMERCIAL MESSAGE. GOT A SCAR HERE WHEN MY SISTER PUSHED ME OFF A PORCH, 541 00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:51,012 GOT A SCAR HERE WHEN MY SISTER PUSHED ME OFF A PORCH, AND... 542 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,414 SISTER PUSHED ME OFF A PORCH, AND... [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 543 00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:54,650 AND... [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND, MY 544 00:22:54,674 --> 00:22:56,719 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND, MY BUSINESS PARTNER, MY ADVISOR, MY 545 00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:57,953 THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND, MY BUSINESS PARTNER, MY ADVISOR, MY COMPANION... 546 00:22:57,977 --> 00:22:59,455 BUSINESS PARTNER, MY ADVISOR, MY COMPANION... MY WIFE. 547 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,457 COMPANION... MY WIFE. AND I LOVE HER. 548 00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:03,124 MY WIFE. AND I LOVE HER. SHE'S QUITE A GAL, YOU KNOW? 549 00:23:03,148 --> 00:23:04,493 AND I LOVE HER. SHE'S QUITE A GAL, YOU KNOW? SHE TAKES CARE OF THE HOUSE, 550 00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:06,061 SHE'S QUITE A GAL, YOU KNOW? SHE TAKES CARE OF THE HOUSE, COOKS GREAT MEALS, MAKES STUDDED 551 00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:07,262 SHE TAKES CARE OF THE HOUSE, COOKS GREAT MEALS, MAKES STUDDED LEATHER VESTS AT OUR OWN 552 00:23:07,286 --> 00:23:08,764 COOKS GREAT MEALS, MAKES STUDDED LEATHER VESTS AT OUR OWN BOUTIQUE, AND STILL HAS ENOUGH 553 00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:10,265 LEATHER VESTS AT OUR OWN BOUTIQUE, AND STILL HAS ENOUGH ENERGY TO GIVE ME THE ATTENTION 554 00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:11,767 BOUTIQUE, AND STILL HAS ENOUGH ENERGY TO GIVE ME THE ATTENTION AND AFFECTION I NEED AT THE END 555 00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:13,369 ENERGY TO GIVE ME THE ATTENTION AND AFFECTION I NEED AT THE END OF A LONG DAY. 556 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,536 AND AFFECTION I NEED AT THE END OF A LONG DAY. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT. 557 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,705 OF A LONG DAY. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT. WELL, I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 558 00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,173 I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT. WELL, I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I GET PLENTY OF REST, GO TO THE 559 00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:19,274 WELL, I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I GET PLENTY OF REST, GO TO THE "Y," EAT RIGHT. 560 00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:20,909 I GET PLENTY OF REST, GO TO THE "Y," EAT RIGHT. TO MAKE SURE I GET ENOUGH IRON 561 00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:22,444 "Y," EAT RIGHT. TO MAKE SURE I GET ENOUGH IRON AND VITAMINS, I TAKE JAMITOL 562 00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:23,579 TO MAKE SURE I GET ENOUGH IRON AND VITAMINS, I TAKE JAMITOL EVERY DAY. 563 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,981 AND VITAMINS, I TAKE JAMITOL EVERY DAY. MAKES ME TAKE IT, TOO. 564 00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:27,015 EVERY DAY. MAKES ME TAKE IT, TOO. Announcer: JAMITOL. 565 00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:28,316 MAKES ME TAKE IT, TOO. Announcer: JAMITOL. MORE THAN TWICE THE IRON AND 566 00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:29,718 Announcer: JAMITOL. MORE THAN TWICE THE IRON AND HIGH-POTENCY VITAMINS FOUND IN 567 00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:30,719 MORE THAN TWICE THE IRON AND HIGH-POTENCY VITAMINS FOUND IN OTHER SUPPLEMENTS. 568 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,488 HIGH-POTENCY VITAMINS FOUND IN OTHER SUPPLEMENTS. TABLET OR LIQUID. 569 00:23:32,512 --> 00:23:35,290 OTHER SUPPLEMENTS. TABLET OR LIQUID. MY WIFE... SHE'S QUITE A GAL. 570 00:23:35,314 --> 00:23:40,195 TABLET OR LIQUID. MY WIFE... SHE'S QUITE A GAL. AND I LOVE HER FOR IT. 571 00:23:40,219 --> 00:23:42,464 MY WIFE... SHE'S QUITE A GAL. AND I LOVE HER FOR IT. I'M PAUL SIMON, AND I'LL BE 572 00:23:42,488 --> 00:23:44,833 AND I LOVE HER FOR IT. I'M PAUL SIMON, AND I'LL BE HOSTING THE NBC "SATURDAY NIGHT" 573 00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:46,234 I'M PAUL SIMON, AND I'LL BE HOSTING THE NBC "SATURDAY NIGHT" SHOW NEXT WEEK. 574 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,069 HOSTING THE NBC "SATURDAY NIGHT" SHOW NEXT WEEK. I'LL BE JOINED BY RANDY NEWMAN, 575 00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:49,872 SHOW NEXT WEEK. I'LL BE JOINED BY RANDY NEWMAN, PHOEBE SNOW, AND MY EX-PARTNER 576 00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:51,440 I'LL BE JOINED BY RANDY NEWMAN, PHOEBE SNOW, AND MY EX-PARTNER ART GARFUNKEL FOR A LITTLE 577 00:23:51,464 --> 00:23:53,008 PHOEBE SNOW, AND MY EX-PARTNER ART GARFUNKEL FOR A LITTLE SIMON & GARFUNKEL REUNION. 578 00:23:53,032 --> 00:23:55,010 ART GARFUNKEL FOR A LITTLE SIMON & GARFUNKEL REUNION. I HOPE YOU'LL WATCH. 579 00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:55,878 SIMON & GARFUNKEL REUNION. I HOPE YOU'LL WATCH. [TICKER TICKING] 580 00:23:55,902 --> 00:23:56,978 I HOPE YOU'LL WATCH. [TICKER TICKING] Announcer: AND NOW 581 00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,079 [TICKER TICKING] Announcer: AND NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH 582 00:23:58,103 --> 00:23:59,848 Announcer: AND NOW "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH CHEVY CHASE. 583 00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:00,849 "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH CHEVY CHASE. GOOD EVENING, I'M 584 00:24:00,873 --> 00:24:01,483 CHEVY CHASE. GOOD EVENING, I'M CHEVY CHASE. 585 00:24:01,507 --> 00:24:02,785 GOOD EVENING, I'M CHEVY CHASE. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... 586 00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:04,286 CHEVY CHASE. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... DEDICATION CEREMONIES FOR THE 587 00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,921 OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT... DEDICATION CEREMONIES FOR THE NEW TEAMSTERS UNION HEADQUARTERS 588 00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,389 DEDICATION CEREMONIES FOR THE NEW TEAMSTERS UNION HEADQUARTERS BUILDING TOOK PLACE TODAY IN 589 00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:08,857 NEW TEAMSTERS UNION HEADQUARTERS BUILDING TOOK PLACE TODAY IN DETROIT, WHERE UNION PRESIDENT 590 00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:10,392 BUILDING TOOK PLACE TODAY IN DETROIT, WHERE UNION PRESIDENT FITZSIMMONS IS REPORTED TO HAVE 591 00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:11,693 DETROIT, WHERE UNION PRESIDENT FITZSIMMONS IS REPORTED TO HAVE SAID THAT FORMER PRESIDENT 592 00:24:11,717 --> 00:24:13,429 FITZSIMMONS IS REPORTED TO HAVE SAID THAT FORMER PRESIDENT JIMMY HOFFA WILL ALWAYS BE A 593 00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:17,198 SAID THAT FORMER PRESIDENT JIMMY HOFFA WILL ALWAYS BE A CORNERSTONE IN THE ORGANIZATION. 594 00:24:17,222 --> 00:24:19,868 JIMMY HOFFA WILL ALWAYS BE A CORNERSTONE IN THE ORGANIZATION. NOW WORLD LEADERS IN THE NEWS. 595 00:24:19,892 --> 00:24:21,269 CORNERSTONE IN THE ORGANIZATION. NOW WORLD LEADERS IN THE NEWS. JAPAN EMPEROR HIROHITO MET 596 00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,905 NOW WORLD LEADERS IN THE NEWS. JAPAN EMPEROR HIROHITO MET MICKEY MOUSE AT DISNEYLAND THIS 597 00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:23,505 JAPAN EMPEROR HIROHITO MET MICKEY MOUSE AT DISNEYLAND THIS WEEK. 598 00:24:23,529 --> 00:24:24,673 MICKEY MOUSE AT DISNEYLAND THIS WEEK. THE EMPEROR PRESENTED MICKEY 599 00:24:24,697 --> 00:24:28,043 WEEK. THE EMPEROR PRESENTED MICKEY WITH A HIROHITO WRISTWATCH. 600 00:24:28,067 --> 00:24:29,611 THE EMPEROR PRESENTED MICKEY WITH A HIROHITO WRISTWATCH. DATELINE WASHINGTON... AT A 601 00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:31,447 WITH A HIROHITO WRISTWATCH. DATELINE WASHINGTON... AT A PRESS CONFERENCE THURSDAY NIGHT, 602 00:24:31,471 --> 00:24:34,249 DATELINE WASHINGTON... AT A PRESS CONFERENCE THURSDAY NIGHT, PRESIDENT FORD BLEW HIS NOSE. 603 00:24:34,273 --> 00:24:35,717 PRESS CONFERENCE THURSDAY NIGHT, PRESIDENT FORD BLEW HIS NOSE. ALERT SECRET SERVICE AGENTS 604 00:24:35,741 --> 00:24:37,218 PRESIDENT FORD BLEW HIS NOSE. ALERT SECRET SERVICE AGENTS SEIZED HIS HANDKERCHIEF AND 605 00:24:37,242 --> 00:24:40,556 ALERT SECRET SERVICE AGENTS SEIZED HIS HANDKERCHIEF AND WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND. 606 00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:41,990 SEIZED HIS HANDKERCHIEF AND WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND. AND YESTERDAY IN WASHINGTON, 607 00:24:42,014 --> 00:24:43,459 WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND. AND YESTERDAY IN WASHINGTON, PRESIDENT FORD BUMPED HIS HEAD 608 00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:44,827 AND YESTERDAY IN WASHINGTON, PRESIDENT FORD BUMPED HIS HEAD THREE TIMES GETTING INTO HIS 609 00:24:44,851 --> 00:24:45,627 PRESIDENT FORD BUMPED HIS HEAD THREE TIMES GETTING INTO HIS HELICOPTER. 610 00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:47,162 THREE TIMES GETTING INTO HIS HELICOPTER. THE CIA IMMEDIATELY DENIED 611 00:24:47,186 --> 00:24:49,030 HELICOPTER. THE CIA IMMEDIATELY DENIED REPORTS THAT IT HAD DELIBERATELY 612 00:24:49,054 --> 00:24:52,334 THE CIA IMMEDIATELY DENIED REPORTS THAT IT HAD DELIBERATELY LOWERED THE TOP OF THE DOORWAY. 613 00:24:52,358 --> 00:24:53,502 REPORTS THAT IT HAD DELIBERATELY LOWERED THE TOP OF THE DOORWAY. MR. FORD WAS ON THE CAMPAIGN 614 00:24:53,526 --> 00:24:54,670 LOWERED THE TOP OF THE DOORWAY. MR. FORD WAS ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, ANNOUNCING IN DETROIT 615 00:24:54,694 --> 00:24:55,804 MR. FORD WAS ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, ANNOUNCING IN DETROIT THAT HE HAS WRITTEN HIS OWN 616 00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:58,239 TRAIL, ANNOUNCING IN DETROIT THAT HE HAS WRITTEN HIS OWN CAMPAIGN SLOGAN. 617 00:24:58,263 --> 00:24:59,575 THAT HE HAS WRITTEN HIS OWN CAMPAIGN SLOGAN. THE SLOGAN? 618 00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:01,610 CAMPAIGN SLOGAN. THE SLOGAN? "IF HE'S SO DUMB, HOW COME HE'S 619 00:25:01,634 --> 00:25:09,634 THE SLOGAN? "IF HE'S SO DUMB, HOW COME HE'S PRESIDENT?" 620 00:25:10,042 --> 00:25:11,553 "IF HE'S SO DUMB, HOW COME HE'S PRESIDENT?" THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED 621 00:25:11,577 --> 00:25:12,788 PRESIDENT?" THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED TODAY... 622 00:25:12,812 --> 00:25:13,455 THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED TODAY... JUST A SECOND. 623 00:25:13,479 --> 00:25:14,389 TODAY... JUST A SECOND. I LOST MY PLACE. 624 00:25:14,413 --> 00:25:15,591 JUST A SECOND. I LOST MY PLACE. OH, THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED 625 00:25:15,615 --> 00:25:16,825 I LOST MY PLACE. OH, THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT IT IS GOING TO ISSUE 626 00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:17,893 OH, THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT IT IS GOING TO ISSUE A STAMP COMMEMORATING 627 00:25:17,917 --> 00:25:18,894 TODAY THAT IT IS GOING TO ISSUE A STAMP COMMEMORATING PROSTITUTION IN THE 628 00:25:18,918 --> 00:25:20,629 A STAMP COMMEMORATING PROSTITUTION IN THE UNITED STATES. 629 00:25:20,653 --> 00:25:22,030 PROSTITUTION IN THE UNITED STATES. IT'S A 10-CENT STAMP, BUT IF YOU 630 00:25:22,054 --> 00:25:25,174 UNITED STATES. IT'S A 10-CENT STAMP, BUT IF YOU WANT TO LICK IT, IT'S A QUARTER. 631 00:25:33,999 --> 00:25:37,713 MURDER AT THE BLAINE HOTEL AGAIN. FOR A LIVE REPORT, LET'S GO TO 632 00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:38,947 AGAIN. FOR A LIVE REPORT, LET'S GO TO LARAINE NEWMAN IN MIDTOWN 633 00:25:38,971 --> 00:25:40,649 FOR A LIVE REPORT, LET'S GO TO LARAINE NEWMAN IN MIDTOWN MANHATTAN AT THE BLAINE HOTEL. 634 00:25:40,673 --> 00:25:42,384 LARAINE NEWMAN IN MIDTOWN MANHATTAN AT THE BLAINE HOTEL. LARAINE? 635 00:25:42,408 --> 00:25:44,152 MANHATTAN AT THE BLAINE HOTEL. LARAINE? CHEVY, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE A 636 00:25:44,176 --> 00:25:45,754 LARAINE? CHEVY, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE A ROOM ON THE 15th FLOOR OF THE 637 00:25:45,778 --> 00:25:47,856 CHEVY, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE A ROOM ON THE 15th FLOOR OF THE BLAINE HOTEL, WHERE NUMBER 38 IN 638 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,892 ROOM ON THE 15th FLOOR OF THE BLAINE HOTEL, WHERE NUMBER 38 IN A SERIES OF GRISLY AND BIZARRE 639 00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:51,894 BLAINE HOTEL, WHERE NUMBER 38 IN A SERIES OF GRISLY AND BIZARRE MURDERS HAS OCCURRED JUST OVER 640 00:25:51,918 --> 00:25:53,628 A SERIES OF GRISLY AND BIZARRE MURDERS HAS OCCURRED JUST OVER AN HOUR AGO. 641 00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:56,020 THE MOTIVE, AGAIN... MURDER, AS 642 00:25:56,154 --> 00:25:58,155 IT HAS BEEN IN THE PREVIOUS 37 643 00:25:58,289 --> 00:25:59,356 SLASHINGS. 644 00:25:59,490 --> 00:26:00,891 IN A FIT OF PIQUE, THE MAYOR HAS 645 00:26:01,026 --> 00:26:02,726 CALLED THE BLAINE HOTEL A 646 00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:05,195 POCKMARK ON THE NECK OF MIDTOWN 647 00:26:05,329 --> 00:26:06,764 MANHATTAN. 648 00:26:07,032 --> 00:26:15,032 ONCE AGAIN, GRISLY DEATH AND MURDER IN THE BLAINE HOTEL. LARAINE NEWMAN REPORTING. 649 00:26:15,140 --> 00:26:16,785 MURDER IN THE BLAINE HOTEL. LARAINE NEWMAN REPORTING. STILL TO COME... EARTHQUAKE 650 00:26:16,809 --> 00:26:18,687 LARAINE NEWMAN REPORTING. STILL TO COME... EARTHQUAKE CLAIMS SAN DIEGO, 4 MILLION DIE 651 00:26:18,711 --> 00:26:20,556 STILL TO COME... EARTHQUAKE CLAIMS SAN DIEGO, 4 MILLION DIE IN TURKEY, AND ARLENE VISITS AN 652 00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:25,527 CLAIMS SAN DIEGO, 4 MILLION DIE IN TURKEY, AND ARLENE VISITS AN ART MUSEUM. 653 00:26:25,551 --> 00:26:26,528 IN TURKEY, AND ARLENE VISITS AN ART MUSEUM. Announcer: ARTHRITIS IN THE 654 00:26:26,552 --> 00:26:29,865 ART MUSEUM. Announcer: ARTHRITIS IN THE ADULT IS PAINFUL, LONELY, AND 655 00:26:29,889 --> 00:26:32,167 Announcer: ARTHRITIS IN THE ADULT IS PAINFUL, LONELY, AND SOMETIMES DIFFICULT TO MANAGE. 656 00:26:32,191 --> 00:26:33,635 ADULT IS PAINFUL, LONELY, AND SOMETIMES DIFFICULT TO MANAGE. ARTHRITIS IS PARTICULARLY 657 00:26:33,659 --> 00:26:35,170 SOMETIMES DIFFICULT TO MANAGE. ARTHRITIS IS PARTICULARLY ANNOYING WHEN COUPLED WITH 658 00:26:35,194 --> 00:26:36,838 ARTHRITIS IS PARTICULARLY ANNOYING WHEN COUPLED WITH NEURALGIA AND SEVERE MUSCULAR 659 00:26:36,862 --> 00:26:38,239 ANNOYING WHEN COUPLED WITH NEURALGIA AND SEVERE MUSCULAR TENSION. 660 00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:39,908 NEURALGIA AND SEVERE MUSCULAR TENSION. ABRUPT WEATHER CHANGES CAN ADD 661 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:40,909 TENSION. ABRUPT WEATHER CHANGES CAN ADD DISCOMFORT. 662 00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:43,411 ABRUPT WEATHER CHANGES CAN ADD DISCOMFORT. INFLAMED TISSUES CAN CAUSE LOCAL 663 00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:45,714 DISCOMFORT. INFLAMED TISSUES CAN CAUSE LOCAL SWELLING, CALLING FOR SPECIAL 664 00:26:45,738 --> 00:26:46,481 INFLAMED TISSUES CAN CAUSE LOCAL SWELLING, CALLING FOR SPECIAL RELIEF. 665 00:26:46,505 --> 00:26:48,617 SWELLING, CALLING FOR SPECIAL RELIEF. [DING!] 666 00:26:48,641 --> 00:26:50,752 RELIEF. [DING!] TRIOPENIN, A COMPOUND OF 667 00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:52,888 [DING!] TRIOPENIN, A COMPOUND OF POWERFUL ANTIARTHRITIC SPANSULES 668 00:26:52,912 --> 00:26:54,690 TRIOPENIN, A COMPOUND OF POWERFUL ANTIARTHRITIC SPANSULES AND ANTIHISTAMINES, SPEEDS 669 00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:56,758 POWERFUL ANTIARTHRITIC SPANSULES AND ANTIHISTAMINES, SPEEDS SOOTHING RELIEF WHERE NEEDED. 670 00:26:56,782 --> 00:26:58,493 AND ANTIHISTAMINES, SPEEDS SOOTHING RELIEF WHERE NEEDED. TRIOPENIN IS GENTLE, 671 00:26:58,517 --> 00:27:00,261 SOOTHING RELIEF WHERE NEEDED. TRIOPENIN IS GENTLE, NON-HABIT-FORMING, AIDS IN 672 00:27:00,285 --> 00:27:02,330 TRIOPENIN IS GENTLE, NON-HABIT-FORMING, AIDS IN SOOTHING MUSCLES AND LIBERATING 673 00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:04,265 NON-HABIT-FORMING, AIDS IN SOOTHING MUSCLES AND LIBERATING STIFF, PAINFUL JOINTS. 674 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,101 SOOTHING MUSCLES AND LIBERATING STIFF, PAINFUL JOINTS. SOON, YOU'RE HANDLING LIFE 675 00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,769 STIFF, PAINFUL JOINTS. SOON, YOU'RE HANDLING LIFE AGAIN, FEELING BETTER, AND 676 00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:09,504 SOON, YOU'RE HANDLING LIFE AGAIN, FEELING BETTER, AND GETTING A FIRM GRASP ON THE 677 00:27:09,528 --> 00:27:12,663 AGAIN, FEELING BETTER, AND GETTING A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION. 678 00:27:12,931 --> 00:27:15,065 TRIOPENIN... GET YOUR HANDS 679 00:27:15,199 --> 00:27:16,466 WORKING AGAIN. 680 00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:18,502 NOW WITH A NEW CHILDPROOF SAFETY 681 00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:19,136 CAP. 682 00:27:19,270 --> 00:27:22,072 [DING!] 683 00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:26,488 Announcer: GUESTS ON NBC's "SATURDAY NIGHT" STAY AT THE FABULOUS BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN 684 00:27:26,512 --> 00:27:26,989 "SATURDAY NIGHT" STAY AT THE FABULOUS BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN MANHATTAN. 685 00:27:27,013 --> 00:27:28,156 FABULOUS BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN MANHATTAN. THE BLAINE... A TRADITION FOR 686 00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:32,761 MANHATTAN. THE BLAINE... A TRADITION FOR MORE THAN HALF A CENTURY. 687 00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:34,329 THE BLAINE... A TRADITION FOR MORE THAN HALF A CENTURY. OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT 688 00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:35,998 MORE THAN HALF A CENTURY. OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS THE BIRTH OF A BABY 689 00:27:36,022 --> 00:27:38,033 OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS THE BIRTH OF A BABY SANDPIPER AT THE WASHINGTON ZOO. 690 00:27:38,057 --> 00:27:39,601 CONCERNS THE BIRTH OF A BABY SANDPIPER AT THE WASHINGTON ZOO. IT'S THE FIRST SUCH BIRTH IN 691 00:27:39,625 --> 00:27:41,003 SANDPIPER AT THE WASHINGTON ZOO. IT'S THE FIRST SUCH BIRTH IN CAPTIVITY ON RECORD. 692 00:27:41,027 --> 00:27:42,704 IT'S THE FIRST SUCH BIRTH IN CAPTIVITY ON RECORD. THE BABY CHICK MADE ITS DEBUT AT 693 00:27:42,728 --> 00:27:44,339 CAPTIVITY ON RECORD. THE BABY CHICK MADE ITS DEBUT AT 9:18 THIS MORNING, WEIGHING IN 694 00:27:44,363 --> 00:27:45,607 THE BABY CHICK MADE ITS DEBUT AT 9:18 THIS MORNING, WEIGHING IN AT JUST UNDER 14 GRAMS AND, 695 00:27:45,631 --> 00:27:46,975 9:18 THIS MORNING, WEIGHING IN AT JUST UNDER 14 GRAMS AND, ACCORDING TO ZOO OFFICIALS, 696 00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:48,276 AT JUST UNDER 14 GRAMS AND, ACCORDING TO ZOO OFFICIALS, RESEMBLED ITS MOTHER QUITE 697 00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:48,877 ACCORDING TO ZOO OFFICIALS, RESEMBLED ITS MOTHER QUITE CLOSELY. 698 00:27:48,901 --> 00:27:50,345 RESEMBLED ITS MOTHER QUITE CLOSELY. AND THE NAME GIVEN OUR FUZZY 699 00:27:50,369 --> 00:27:51,212 CLOSELY. AND THE NAME GIVEN OUR FUZZY LITTLE FRIEND? 700 00:27:51,236 --> 00:27:53,448 AND THE NAME GIVEN OUR FUZZY LITTLE FRIEND? SIMPLY "PIP." 701 00:27:53,472 --> 00:27:54,850 LITTLE FRIEND? SIMPLY "PIP." ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... THE BIRD 702 00:27:54,874 --> 00:27:56,217 SIMPLY "PIP." ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... THE BIRD WAS STEPPED ON AND CRUSHED TO 703 00:27:56,241 --> 00:27:57,686 ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... THE BIRD WAS STEPPED ON AND CRUSHED TO DEATH THIS AFTERNOON BY GOGGLES, 704 00:27:57,710 --> 00:27:59,187 WAS STEPPED ON AND CRUSHED TO DEATH THIS AFTERNOON BY GOGGLES, THE BABY HIPPO BORN IN CAPTIVITY 705 00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:00,822 DEATH THIS AFTERNOON BY GOGGLES, THE BABY HIPPO BORN IN CAPTIVITY LAST WEDNESDAY. 706 00:28:00,846 --> 00:28:02,490 THE BABY HIPPO BORN IN CAPTIVITY LAST WEDNESDAY. WELL, THAT'S NEWS THIS EVENING. 707 00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:03,825 LAST WEDNESDAY. WELL, THAT'S NEWS THIS EVENING. THIS IS CHEVY CHASE. 708 00:28:03,849 --> 00:28:05,093 WELL, THAT'S NEWS THIS EVENING. THIS IS CHEVY CHASE. GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT 709 00:28:05,117 --> 00:28:10,565 THIS IS CHEVY CHASE. GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. 710 00:28:10,589 --> 00:28:16,538 GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] 711 00:28:16,562 --> 00:28:18,140 TOMORROW. [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] Announcer: COME WITH US NOW 712 00:28:18,164 --> 00:28:19,841 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] Announcer: COME WITH US NOW FROM THE BUBBLING CARCASS TO THE 713 00:28:19,865 --> 00:28:21,409 Announcer: COME WITH US NOW FROM THE BUBBLING CARCASS TO THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM THE 714 00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:23,078 FROM THE BUBBLING CARCASS TO THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM THE ROTTING FOREST TO THE STAGNANT 715 00:28:23,102 --> 00:28:24,746 SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM THE ROTTING FOREST TO THE STAGNANT MUD FLATS. 716 00:28:24,770 --> 00:28:27,149 ROTTING FOREST TO THE STAGNANT MUD FLATS. FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO 717 00:28:27,173 --> 00:28:29,350 MUD FLATS. FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM 718 00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,853 FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE 719 00:28:31,877 --> 00:28:34,589 THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE STAGNANT MUD FLATS, THIS LAND 720 00:28:34,613 --> 00:28:37,859 THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE STAGNANT MUD FLATS, THIS LAND WAS MADE FOR ME AND ME ONLY, 721 00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:41,429 STAGNANT MUD FLATS, THIS LAND WAS MADE FOR ME AND ME ONLY, SINCE I AM PLOOBIS, KING OF ALL 722 00:28:41,453 --> 00:28:42,864 WAS MADE FOR ME AND ME ONLY, SINCE I AM PLOOBIS, KING OF ALL I SURVEY. 723 00:28:42,888 --> 00:28:45,667 SINCE I AM PLOOBIS, KING OF ALL I SURVEY. HMM. OH. 724 00:28:45,691 --> 00:28:49,571 I SURVEY. HMM. OH. SCRED?! SCRED! 725 00:28:49,595 --> 00:28:51,639 HMM. OH. SCRED?! SCRED! YES, OH, HIGH SUPREME 726 00:28:51,663 --> 00:28:53,141 SCRED?! SCRED! YES, OH, HIGH SUPREME MUCKY-MUCK, SIR? 727 00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:54,576 YES, OH, HIGH SUPREME MUCKY-MUCK, SIR? SCRED, I'M HUNGRY. 728 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,344 MUCKY-MUCK, SIR? SCRED, I'M HUNGRY. OH. WHAT WOULD PLEASE 729 00:28:56,368 --> 00:28:58,580 SCRED, I'M HUNGRY. OH. WHAT WOULD PLEASE YOUR FLATULENCE? 730 00:28:58,604 --> 00:29:00,248 OH. WHAT WOULD PLEASE YOUR FLATULENCE? [CHOKING] 731 00:29:00,272 --> 00:29:02,117 YOUR FLATULENCE? [CHOKING] FOOD! SEE, I'M HUNGRY, AND 732 00:29:02,141 --> 00:29:03,685 [CHOKING] FOOD! SEE, I'M HUNGRY, AND WHEN I'M HUNGRY, I GET A 733 00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:04,285 FOOD! SEE, I'M HUNGRY, AND WHEN I'M HUNGRY, I GET A HEADACHE. 734 00:29:04,309 --> 00:29:05,653 WHEN I'M HUNGRY, I GET A HEADACHE. AND WHEN I GET A HEADACHE, I 735 00:29:05,677 --> 00:29:06,922 HEADACHE. AND WHEN I GET A HEADACHE, I GET, UH... 736 00:29:06,946 --> 00:29:08,056 AND WHEN I GET A HEADACHE, I GET, UH... FURIOUS? 737 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:08,556 GET, UH... FURIOUS? NO! 738 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:09,791 FURIOUS? NO! UH, ANGRY? 739 00:29:09,815 --> 00:29:10,458 NO! UH, ANGRY? NO! 740 00:29:10,482 --> 00:29:11,126 UH, ANGRY? NO! CRANKY? 741 00:29:11,150 --> 00:29:11,793 NO! CRANKY? NO! 742 00:29:11,817 --> 00:29:12,728 CRANKY? NO! PEEVISH? 743 00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:13,328 NO! PEEVISH? NO! 744 00:29:13,352 --> 00:29:14,162 PEEVISH? NO! IRKED? 745 00:29:14,186 --> 00:29:14,763 NO! IRKED? NO! 746 00:29:14,787 --> 00:29:16,098 IRKED? NO! MILDLY ANNOYED? 747 00:29:16,122 --> 00:29:17,999 NO! MILDLY ANNOYED? THAT'S IT! 748 00:29:18,023 --> 00:29:19,667 MILDLY ANNOYED? THAT'S IT! OH, THANK YOU, SIRE. 749 00:29:19,691 --> 00:29:21,469 THAT'S IT! OH, THANK YOU, SIRE. I GET MILDLY ANNOYED WHEN I 750 00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:23,304 OH, THANK YOU, SIRE. I GET MILDLY ANNOYED WHEN I DON'T HAVE FOOD. 751 00:29:23,328 --> 00:29:24,840 I GET MILDLY ANNOYED WHEN I DON'T HAVE FOOD. I'LL SEE TO IT IMMEDIATELY, 752 00:29:24,864 --> 00:29:26,274 DON'T HAVE FOOD. I'LL SEE TO IT IMMEDIATELY, YOUR GROSSNESS. 753 00:29:26,298 --> 00:29:28,810 I'LL SEE TO IT IMMEDIATELY, YOUR GROSSNESS. HMM. 754 00:29:28,834 --> 00:29:31,579 YOUR GROSSNESS. HMM. WELL, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT 755 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,648 HMM. WELL, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT PEUTA SHOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF. 756 00:29:33,672 --> 00:29:35,016 WELL, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT PEUTA SHOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF. I HEARD THAT! 757 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,418 PEUTA SHOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF. I HEARD THAT! I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT 758 00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:39,520 I HEARD THAT! I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR FOOD, ESPECIALLY IN MY 759 00:29:39,544 --> 00:29:40,488 I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR FOOD, ESPECIALLY IN MY CONDITION. 760 00:29:40,512 --> 00:29:41,589 YOUR FOOD, ESPECIALLY IN MY CONDITION. HMM. [SNORTS] 761 00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:43,191 CONDITION. HMM. [SNORTS] I SAID, "ESPECIALLY IN MY 762 00:29:43,215 --> 00:29:43,959 HMM. [SNORTS] I SAID, "ESPECIALLY IN MY CONDITION." 763 00:29:43,983 --> 00:29:45,727 I SAID, "ESPECIALLY IN MY CONDITION." ESPECIALLY IN YOUR CONDITION. 764 00:29:45,751 --> 00:29:46,294 CONDITION." ESPECIALLY IN YOUR CONDITION. YES. 765 00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:49,397 ESPECIALLY IN YOUR CONDITION. YES. WELL, AND WHAT DO YOU EXPECT 766 00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:50,365 YES. WELL, AND WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ABOUT IT? 767 00:29:50,389 --> 00:29:51,566 WELL, AND WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ABOUT IT? YOU'RE TOO OLD TO MOLT. 768 00:29:51,590 --> 00:29:54,069 ME TO DO ABOUT IT? YOU'RE TOO OLD TO MOLT. AAH! OH, PLOOBIS, I DON'T 769 00:29:54,093 --> 00:29:56,271 YOU'RE TOO OLD TO MOLT. AAH! OH, PLOOBIS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS. 770 00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:58,506 AAH! OH, PLOOBIS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS. I'M JUST NOT IN THE SWING OF 771 00:29:58,530 --> 00:29:59,474 KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS. I'M JUST NOT IN THE SWING OF THINGS. 772 00:29:59,498 --> 00:30:01,209 I'M JUST NOT IN THE SWING OF THINGS. I... YOU SEE... I'M HAVING 773 00:30:01,233 --> 00:30:03,311 THINGS. I... YOU SEE... I'M HAVING TREMENDOUS DIFFICULTY RELEASING 774 00:30:03,335 --> 00:30:06,248 I... YOU SEE... I'M HAVING TREMENDOUS DIFFICULTY RELEASING MY DARTS. 775 00:30:06,272 --> 00:30:08,016 TREMENDOUS DIFFICULTY RELEASING MY DARTS. RELEASING YOUR DARTS? UGH. 776 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,851 MY DARTS. RELEASING YOUR DARTS? UGH. WHAT... WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT 777 00:30:09,875 --> 00:30:10,385 RELEASING YOUR DARTS? UGH. WHAT... WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THAT? 778 00:30:10,409 --> 00:30:12,254 WHAT... WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THAT? WELL, GO TO THE MIGHTY FAVOG. 779 00:30:12,278 --> 00:30:14,689 THAT? WELL, GO TO THE MIGHTY FAVOG. HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN 780 00:30:14,713 --> 00:30:16,057 WELL, GO TO THE MIGHTY FAVOG. HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN RELIEVE MY PAIN. 781 00:30:16,081 --> 00:30:16,992 HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN RELIEVE MY PAIN. MM-HMM. 782 00:30:17,016 --> 00:30:19,127 RELIEVE MY PAIN. MM-HMM. YOUR PAIN IS MY PAIN, MY DEAR. 783 00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:20,395 MM-HMM. YOUR PAIN IS MY PAIN, MY DEAR. [CHUCKLES] 784 00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:23,165 YOUR PAIN IS MY PAIN, MY DEAR. [CHUCKLES] WELL, I'M GOING TO LIE DOWN NOW. 785 00:30:23,189 --> 00:30:25,801 [CHUCKLES] WELL, I'M GOING TO LIE DOWN NOW. PERHAPS THE DARTS WILL LOOSEN. 786 00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:26,768 WELL, I'M GOING TO LIE DOWN NOW. PERHAPS THE DARTS WILL LOOSEN. AH. 787 00:30:26,792 --> 00:30:28,503 PERHAPS THE DARTS WILL LOOSEN. AH. UH, WOULD IT HELP IF I 788 00:30:28,527 --> 00:30:30,038 AH. UH, WOULD IT HELP IF I MASSAGED YOUR MOOGIES? 789 00:30:30,062 --> 00:30:32,274 UH, WOULD IT HELP IF I MASSAGED YOUR MOOGIES? OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! 790 00:30:32,298 --> 00:30:35,076 MASSAGED YOUR MOOGIES? OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! ONLY JOKING, ONLY KIDDING, 791 00:30:35,100 --> 00:30:36,444 OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! ONLY JOKING, ONLY KIDDING, YOUR MAJESTY! 792 00:30:36,468 --> 00:30:37,813 ONLY JOKING, ONLY KIDDING, YOUR MAJESTY! DON'T SAY THAT IF YOU DON'T 793 00:30:37,837 --> 00:30:38,613 YOUR MAJESTY! DON'T SAY THAT IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT. 794 00:30:38,637 --> 00:30:40,315 DON'T SAY THAT IF YOU DON'T MEAN IT. YES, SIRE. 795 00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:41,549 MEAN IT. YES, SIRE. AH, THERE WE ARE. 796 00:30:41,573 --> 00:30:43,084 YES, SIRE. AH, THERE WE ARE. WELL, HERE'S YOUR FOOD, 797 00:30:43,108 --> 00:30:43,718 AH, THERE WE ARE. WELL, HERE'S YOUR FOOD, PLOOBIS. 798 00:30:43,742 --> 00:30:46,587 WELL, HERE'S YOUR FOOD, PLOOBIS. WELL, THANK YOU, VAZH. 799 00:30:46,611 --> 00:30:47,755 PLOOBIS. WELL, THANK YOU, VAZH. OH, WHAT YOU GOT HERE? 800 00:30:47,779 --> 00:30:49,191 WELL, THANK YOU, VAZH. OH, WHAT YOU GOT HERE? OKAY. 801 00:30:49,215 --> 00:30:50,192 OH, WHAT YOU GOT HERE? OKAY. LET GO OF IT, WOULD YOU? 802 00:30:50,216 --> 00:30:51,626 OKAY. LET GO OF IT, WOULD YOU? MM-MMM! 803 00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:52,794 LET GO OF IT, WOULD YOU? MM-MMM! [SMACKING LIPS] 804 00:30:52,818 --> 00:30:54,629 MM-MMM! [SMACKING LIPS] AH, MM-MMM! 805 00:30:54,653 --> 00:30:56,097 [SMACKING LIPS] AH, MM-MMM! WELL, IT TASTES LIKE BOILED 806 00:30:56,121 --> 00:30:57,765 AH, MM-MMM! WELL, IT TASTES LIKE BOILED KLEENEX. 807 00:30:57,789 --> 00:31:00,135 WELL, IT TASTES LIKE BOILED KLEENEX. MM-MMM. 808 00:31:00,159 --> 00:31:01,336 KLEENEX. MM-MMM. THIS TASTES FAMILIAR. 809 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:02,637 MM-MMM. THIS TASTES FAMILIAR. IS THIS ANYBODY I KNOW? 810 00:31:02,661 --> 00:31:04,039 THIS TASTES FAMILIAR. IS THIS ANYBODY I KNOW? WILL YOU WANT DESSERT, 811 00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:05,106 IS THIS ANYBODY I KNOW? WILL YOU WANT DESSERT, PLOOBIS? 812 00:31:05,130 --> 00:31:06,774 WILL YOU WANT DESSERT, PLOOBIS? UH... 813 00:31:06,798 --> 00:31:09,945 PLOOBIS? UH... WHAT I WANT, ANGEL BUNS, IS NOT 814 00:31:09,969 --> 00:31:12,314 UH... WHAT I WANT, ANGEL BUNS, IS NOT ON THE MENU. 815 00:31:12,338 --> 00:31:13,548 WHAT I WANT, ANGEL BUNS, IS NOT ON THE MENU. COME HERE, YOU. 816 00:31:13,572 --> 00:31:17,285 ON THE MENU. COME HERE, YOU. MMM, YEAH. OH, SWEETHEART. 817 00:31:17,309 --> 00:31:18,320 COME HERE, YOU. MMM, YEAH. OH, SWEETHEART. MM-MMM. 818 00:31:18,344 --> 00:31:19,988 MMM, YEAH. OH, SWEETHEART. MM-MMM. PLOOBIS! 819 00:31:20,012 --> 00:31:21,522 MM-MMM. PLOOBIS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 820 00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:22,858 PLOOBIS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! UH, WELL, UH... 821 00:31:22,882 --> 00:31:24,926 WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! UH, WELL, UH... [THUD] 822 00:31:24,950 --> 00:31:25,994 UH, WELL, UH... [THUD] EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. 823 00:31:26,018 --> 00:31:27,562 [THUD] EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. UH. I WAS JUST ON MY WAY TO 824 00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:29,430 EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. UH. I WAS JUST ON MY WAY TO THE MIGHTY FAVOG, YOU SEE. 825 00:31:29,454 --> 00:31:32,934 UH. I WAS JUST ON MY WAY TO THE MIGHTY FAVOG, YOU SEE. [GONG BANGS] 826 00:31:32,958 --> 00:31:36,371 THE MIGHTY FAVOG, YOU SEE. [GONG BANGS] THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. 827 00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:40,608 [GONG BANGS] THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. HOW MANY IN YOUR PARTY? 828 00:31:40,632 --> 00:31:42,944 THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. HOW MANY IN YOUR PARTY? UH... UH... ONE... 829 00:31:42,968 --> 00:31:44,246 HOW MANY IN YOUR PARTY? UH... UH... ONE... ME AND SCRED. 830 00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:46,948 UH... UH... ONE... ME AND SCRED. TALK TO ME. 831 00:31:46,972 --> 00:31:49,217 ME AND SCRED. TALK TO ME. OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, I GOT A 832 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:50,118 TALK TO ME. OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, I GOT A PROBLEM. 833 00:31:50,142 --> 00:31:52,387 OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, I GOT A PROBLEM. BUSINESS, SPORTS, OR 834 00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:53,355 PROBLEM. BUSINESS, SPORTS, OR PERSONAL? 835 00:31:53,379 --> 00:31:55,857 BUSINESS, SPORTS, OR PERSONAL? UH... SCRED? 836 00:31:55,881 --> 00:31:57,825 PERSONAL? UH... SCRED? MEDICAL, YOUR GROSSNESS. 837 00:31:57,849 --> 00:31:58,426 UH... SCRED? MEDICAL, YOUR GROSSNESS. MMM. 838 00:31:58,450 --> 00:32:01,396 MEDICAL, YOUR GROSSNESS. MMM. OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, IT'S MEDICAL. 839 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:02,230 MMM. OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, IT'S MEDICAL. MEDICAL. 840 00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:02,864 OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, IT'S MEDICAL. MEDICAL. MMM. 841 00:32:02,888 --> 00:32:06,501 MEDICAL. MMM. IT'S GONNA COST YOU... 842 00:32:06,525 --> 00:32:09,570 MMM. IT'S GONNA COST YOU... THREE CHICKENS, TWO SWANS, AND A 843 00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:10,671 IT'S GONNA COST YOU... THREE CHICKENS, TWO SWANS, AND A DUCK. 844 00:32:10,695 --> 00:32:14,209 THREE CHICKENS, TWO SWANS, AND A DUCK. HOLY GUACAMOLE. 845 00:32:14,233 --> 00:32:15,777 DUCK. HOLY GUACAMOLE. WHAT YOU GOT ON YOU, SCRED? 846 00:32:15,801 --> 00:32:17,979 HOLY GUACAMOLE. WHAT YOU GOT ON YOU, SCRED? JUST TWO CHICKENS, BUT THAT'S 847 00:32:18,003 --> 00:32:20,181 WHAT YOU GOT ON YOU, SCRED? JUST TWO CHICKENS, BUT THAT'S CARFARE HOME. 848 00:32:20,205 --> 00:32:22,050 JUST TWO CHICKENS, BUT THAT'S CARFARE HOME. OH, FAVOG, I OFFER YOU TWO 849 00:32:22,074 --> 00:32:23,718 CARFARE HOME. OH, FAVOG, I OFFER YOU TWO CHICKENS... IT'S ALL I GOT. 850 00:32:23,742 --> 00:32:24,886 OH, FAVOG, I OFFER YOU TWO CHICKENS... IT'S ALL I GOT. [SNIFFLES] 851 00:32:24,910 --> 00:32:26,254 CHICKENS... IT'S ALL I GOT. [SNIFFLES] BUSINESS IS SLOW. 852 00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:28,423 [SNIFFLES] BUSINESS IS SLOW. I'LL TAKE 'EM. 853 00:32:28,447 --> 00:32:29,857 BUSINESS IS SLOW. I'LL TAKE 'EM. PAY HIM THE CHICKENS. 854 00:32:29,881 --> 00:32:31,893 I'LL TAKE 'EM. PAY HIM THE CHICKENS. OH, OKAY, BUT, PHOOEY, 855 00:32:31,917 --> 00:32:33,194 PAY HIM THE CHICKENS. OH, OKAY, BUT, PHOOEY, ANYWAY. 856 00:32:33,218 --> 00:32:34,396 OH, OKAY, BUT, PHOOEY, ANYWAY. ARE YOU READY? 857 00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:35,696 ANYWAY. ARE YOU READY? LAY 'EM ON YOUR GOD. 858 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,765 ARE YOU READY? LAY 'EM ON YOUR GOD. HERE THEY COME. 859 00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:39,434 LAY 'EM ON YOUR GOD. HERE THEY COME. [LIQUID SPLASHES] 860 00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:43,471 HERE THEY COME. [LIQUID SPLASHES] [FLUSHING] 861 00:32:43,495 --> 00:32:45,340 [LIQUID SPLASHES] [FLUSHING] [BELCHES] 862 00:32:45,364 --> 00:32:46,541 [FLUSHING] [BELCHES] [RUMBLING] 863 00:32:46,565 --> 00:32:47,775 [BELCHES] [RUMBLING] ALL RIGHT. 864 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:49,945 [RUMBLING] ALL RIGHT. STATE YOUR PROBLEM. 865 00:32:49,969 --> 00:32:53,014 ALL RIGHT. STATE YOUR PROBLEM. OH, FAVOG, MY CHARMING WIFE, 866 00:32:53,038 --> 00:32:55,550 STATE YOUR PROBLEM. OH, FAVOG, MY CHARMING WIFE, PEUTA, CAN'T RELEASE HER DARTS. 867 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:59,720 OH, FAVOG, MY CHARMING WIFE, PEUTA, CAN'T RELEASE HER DARTS. HMM. ALL RIGHT. 868 00:32:59,744 --> 00:33:01,423 PEUTA, CAN'T RELEASE HER DARTS. HMM. ALL RIGHT. YOU READY? 869 00:33:01,447 --> 00:33:03,024 HMM. ALL RIGHT. YOU READY? Both: WE ARE READY, OH, 870 00:33:03,048 --> 00:33:05,526 YOU READY? Both: WE ARE READY, OH, MIGHTY FAVOG! 871 00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:06,361 Both: WE ARE READY, OH, MIGHTY FAVOG! [THUNDER RUMBLES] 872 00:33:06,385 --> 00:33:10,098 MIGHTY FAVOG! [THUNDER RUMBLES] HERE IS THE ANSWER! 873 00:33:10,122 --> 00:33:11,566 [THUNDER RUMBLES] HERE IS THE ANSWER! YEAH? 874 00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:12,633 HERE IS THE ANSWER! YEAH? CHEER UP. 875 00:33:12,657 --> 00:33:14,635 YEAH? CHEER UP. THINGS COULD BE WORSE. 876 00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:17,505 CHEER UP. THINGS COULD BE WORSE. [GONG BANGS] 877 00:33:17,529 --> 00:33:19,140 THINGS COULD BE WORSE. [GONG BANGS] FOR THAT, I PAID TWO 878 00:33:19,164 --> 00:33:20,675 [GONG BANGS] FOR THAT, I PAID TWO CHICKENS? 879 00:33:20,699 --> 00:33:22,444 FOR THAT, I PAID TWO CHICKENS? LIKE I SAID... CHEER UP. 880 00:33:22,468 --> 00:33:23,411 CHICKENS? LIKE I SAID... CHEER UP. THINGS COULD BE WORSE. 881 00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:24,479 LIKE I SAID... CHEER UP. THINGS COULD BE WORSE. YOU COULD HAVE PAID FOUR 882 00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:25,913 THINGS COULD BE WORSE. YOU COULD HAVE PAID FOUR CHICKENS. 883 00:33:25,937 --> 00:33:26,914 YOU COULD HAVE PAID FOUR CHICKENS. NEXT! 884 00:33:26,938 --> 00:33:29,317 CHICKENS. NEXT! WELL, YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT. 885 00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:30,418 NEXT! WELL, YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT. YEAH, BUT... 886 00:33:30,442 --> 00:33:32,553 WELL, YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT. YEAH, BUT... I'M HERE EVERY DAY. 887 00:33:32,577 --> 00:33:34,822 YEAH, BUT... I'M HERE EVERY DAY. TELL YOUR FRIENDS. 888 00:33:34,846 --> 00:33:37,326 I'M HERE EVERY DAY. TELL YOUR FRIENDS. [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] 889 00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:43,887 [BAND PLAYS] 890 00:33:53,398 --> 00:33:58,279 DID YOU EVER DIAL THE PHONE AND FORGET WHO YOU'RE CALLING? [LAUGHTER] 891 00:33:58,303 --> 00:33:59,247 AND FORGET WHO YOU'RE CALLING? [LAUGHTER] DON'T YOU FEEL DUMB? 892 00:33:59,271 --> 00:34:00,615 [LAUGHTER] DON'T YOU FEEL DUMB? YOU DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HANG 893 00:34:00,639 --> 00:34:01,916 DON'T YOU FEEL DUMB? YOU DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HANG ON AND HOPE YOU RECOGNIZE THE 894 00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:04,219 YOU DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HANG ON AND HOPE YOU RECOGNIZE THE VOICE OR NOT. 895 00:34:04,243 --> 00:34:05,253 ON AND HOPE YOU RECOGNIZE THE VOICE OR NOT. THEN, WHEN YOU REMEMBER WHO IT 896 00:34:05,277 --> 00:34:06,254 VOICE OR NOT. THEN, WHEN YOU REMEMBER WHO IT WAS, YOU HAVE TO CALL BACK, SO 897 00:34:06,278 --> 00:34:07,255 THEN, WHEN YOU REMEMBER WHO IT WAS, YOU HAVE TO CALL BACK, SO YOU CHANGE YOUR VOICE SO THEY 898 00:34:07,279 --> 00:34:08,390 WAS, YOU HAVE TO CALL BACK, SO YOU CHANGE YOUR VOICE SO THEY DON'T THINK YOU'RE A MORON, 899 00:34:08,414 --> 00:34:08,890 YOU CHANGE YOUR VOICE SO THEY DON'T THINK YOU'RE A MORON, RIGHT? 900 00:34:08,914 --> 00:34:09,824 DON'T THINK YOU'RE A MORON, RIGHT? [LAUGHTER] 901 00:34:09,848 --> 00:34:12,827 RIGHT? [LAUGHTER] DID YOU EVER LOOK AT YOURSELF IN 902 00:34:12,851 --> 00:34:14,095 [LAUGHTER] DID YOU EVER LOOK AT YOURSELF IN STORE WINDOWS WHEN YOU'RE 903 00:34:14,119 --> 00:34:16,564 DID YOU EVER LOOK AT YOURSELF IN STORE WINDOWS WHEN YOU'RE WALKING PAST THE STORES? 904 00:34:16,588 --> 00:34:17,765 STORE WINDOWS WHEN YOU'RE WALKING PAST THE STORES? "HEY, I LOOK COOL IN THE STORE 905 00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:18,400 WALKING PAST THE STORES? "HEY, I LOOK COOL IN THE STORE WINDOW, MAN!" 906 00:34:18,424 --> 00:34:19,367 "HEY, I LOOK COOL IN THE STORE WINDOW, MAN!" [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] 907 00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:21,136 WINDOW, MAN!" [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] HAVE I DONE THESE JOKES BEFORE 908 00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:22,470 [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] HAVE I DONE THESE JOKES BEFORE TONIGHT? 909 00:34:22,494 --> 00:34:26,141 HAVE I DONE THESE JOKES BEFORE TONIGHT? [LAUGHTER] 910 00:34:26,165 --> 00:34:31,579 TONIGHT? [LAUGHTER] PLEASE, TELL ME. 911 00:34:31,603 --> 00:34:35,583 [LAUGHTER] PLEASE, TELL ME. WHY IS THERE NO BLUE FOOD? 912 00:34:35,607 --> 00:34:36,951 PLEASE, TELL ME. WHY IS THERE NO BLUE FOOD? I CAN'T FIND BLUE FOOD. 913 00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:38,520 WHY IS THERE NO BLUE FOOD? I CAN'T FIND BLUE FOOD. I CAN'T FIND THE FLAVOR OF BLUE. 914 00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:39,354 I CAN'T FIND BLUE FOOD. I CAN'T FIND THE FLAVOR OF BLUE. I MEAN, GREEN IS LIME. 915 00:34:39,378 --> 00:34:40,021 I CAN'T FIND THE FLAVOR OF BLUE. I MEAN, GREEN IS LIME. YELLOW IS LEMON. 916 00:34:40,045 --> 00:34:40,688 I MEAN, GREEN IS LIME. YELLOW IS LEMON. ORANGE IS ORANGE. 917 00:34:40,712 --> 00:34:41,289 YELLOW IS LEMON. ORANGE IS ORANGE. RED IS CHERRY. 918 00:34:41,313 --> 00:34:42,290 ORANGE IS ORANGE. RED IS CHERRY. WHAT'S BLUE? THERE'S NO BLUE! 919 00:34:42,314 --> 00:34:43,291 RED IS CHERRY. WHAT'S BLUE? THERE'S NO BLUE! OH, THEY SAY, "BLUEBERRIES!" 920 00:34:43,315 --> 00:34:44,192 WHAT'S BLUE? THERE'S NO BLUE! OH, THEY SAY, "BLUEBERRIES!" UNH-UNH. BLUE ON THE VINE... 921 00:34:44,216 --> 00:34:44,926 OH, THEY SAY, "BLUEBERRIES!" UNH-UNH. BLUE ON THE VINE... PURPLE ON THE PLATE. 922 00:34:44,950 --> 00:34:46,594 UNH-UNH. BLUE ON THE VINE... PURPLE ON THE PLATE. THERE'S NO BLUE FOOD, MAN. 923 00:34:46,618 --> 00:34:47,495 PURPLE ON THE PLATE. THERE'S NO BLUE FOOD, MAN. [LAUGHTER] 924 00:34:47,519 --> 00:34:48,996 THERE'S NO BLUE FOOD, MAN. [LAUGHTER] WHERE IS THE BLUE FOOD? 925 00:34:49,020 --> 00:34:52,167 [LAUGHTER] WHERE IS THE BLUE FOOD? WE WANT THE BLUE FOOD! 926 00:34:52,191 --> 00:34:53,501 WHERE IS THE BLUE FOOD? WE WANT THE BLUE FOOD! PROBABLY, IT RESTORES 927 00:34:53,525 --> 00:34:54,502 WE WANT THE BLUE FOOD! PROBABLY, IT RESTORES IMMORTALITY. 928 00:34:54,526 --> 00:34:56,971 PROBABLY, IT RESTORES IMMORTALITY. THEY'RE KEEPING IT FROM US. 929 00:34:56,995 --> 00:34:58,440 IMMORTALITY. THEY'RE KEEPING IT FROM US. "CAN I HAVE THE BLUE FOOD, 930 00:34:58,464 --> 00:34:59,006 THEY'RE KEEPING IT FROM US. "CAN I HAVE THE BLUE FOOD, PLEASE?" 931 00:34:59,030 --> 00:35:01,076 "CAN I HAVE THE BLUE FOOD, PLEASE?" I'LL TAKE MY VITAMIN. 932 00:35:01,100 --> 00:35:02,177 PLEASE?" I'LL TAKE MY VITAMIN. DO YOU TAKE VITAMINS? 933 00:35:02,201 --> 00:35:03,378 I'LL TAKE MY VITAMIN. DO YOU TAKE VITAMINS? DID YOU EVER TRAVEL WITH 934 00:35:03,402 --> 00:35:03,978 DO YOU TAKE VITAMINS? DID YOU EVER TRAVEL WITH VITAMINS? 935 00:35:04,002 --> 00:35:05,646 DID YOU EVER TRAVEL WITH VITAMINS? [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] 936 00:35:05,670 --> 00:35:06,914 VITAMINS? [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] OH, WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU TAKE A 937 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:08,183 [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] OH, WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU TAKE A LOT OF VITAMINS AND THEY'RE NOT 938 00:35:08,207 --> 00:35:09,016 OH, WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU TAKE A LOT OF VITAMINS AND THEY'RE NOT THE KIND THAT SAYS, 939 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,285 LOT OF VITAMINS AND THEY'RE NOT THE KIND THAT SAYS, "JOE'S VITAMIN" ON THE SIDE BUT 940 00:35:10,309 --> 00:35:13,154 THE KIND THAT SAYS, "JOE'S VITAMIN" ON THE SIDE BUT PLAIN-LOOKING VITAMINS... AND 941 00:35:13,178 --> 00:35:14,189 "JOE'S VITAMIN" ON THE SIDE BUT PLAIN-LOOKING VITAMINS... AND YOU HAVE A WHOLE LOT, AND YOU 942 00:35:14,213 --> 00:35:15,256 PLAIN-LOOKING VITAMINS... AND YOU HAVE A WHOLE LOT, AND YOU DON'T TAKE THE WHOLE BIG JUMBO 943 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:16,357 YOU HAVE A WHOLE LOT, AND YOU DON'T TAKE THE WHOLE BIG JUMBO THING ON THE ROAD... YOU TAKE AS 944 00:35:16,381 --> 00:35:17,658 DON'T TAKE THE WHOLE BIG JUMBO THING ON THE ROAD... YOU TAKE AS MANY AS YOU NEED, AND THEY'RE 945 00:35:17,682 --> 00:35:18,293 THING ON THE ROAD... YOU TAKE AS MANY AS YOU NEED, AND THEY'RE NOT MARKED. 946 00:35:18,317 --> 00:35:19,527 MANY AS YOU NEED, AND THEY'RE NOT MARKED. AND THE JAR YOU PUT THEM IN 947 00:35:19,551 --> 00:35:20,228 NOT MARKED. AND THE JAR YOU PUT THEM IN ISN'T MARKED. 948 00:35:20,252 --> 00:35:22,297 AND THE JAR YOU PUT THEM IN ISN'T MARKED. AND IF A POLICEMAN REALLY WANTS 949 00:35:22,321 --> 00:35:24,365 ISN'T MARKED. AND IF A POLICEMAN REALLY WANTS TO GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, HE CAN 950 00:35:24,389 --> 00:35:25,467 AND IF A POLICEMAN REALLY WANTS TO GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, HE CAN HOLD YOU OVERNIGHT WHILE THEY 951 00:35:25,491 --> 00:35:26,234 TO GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, HE CAN HOLD YOU OVERNIGHT WHILE THEY CHECK THE VITAMINS. 952 00:35:26,258 --> 00:35:27,768 HOLD YOU OVERNIGHT WHILE THEY CHECK THE VITAMINS. THAT'S WHY I TRAVEL WITH 953 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:29,370 CHECK THE VITAMINS. THAT'S WHY I TRAVEL WITH FLINTSTONES VITAMINS! 954 00:35:29,394 --> 00:35:32,974 THAT'S WHY I TRAVEL WITH FLINTSTONES VITAMINS! [LAUGHTER] 955 00:35:32,998 --> 00:35:34,375 FLINTSTONES VITAMINS! [LAUGHTER] THE TERM "JUMBO SHRIMP" HAS 956 00:35:34,399 --> 00:35:35,343 [LAUGHTER] THE TERM "JUMBO SHRIMP" HAS ALWAYS AMAZED ME. 957 00:35:35,367 --> 00:35:38,346 THE TERM "JUMBO SHRIMP" HAS ALWAYS AMAZED ME. WHAT IS A JUMBO SHRIMP? 958 00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:39,547 ALWAYS AMAZED ME. WHAT IS A JUMBO SHRIMP? I MEAN, IT'S LIKE "MILITARY 959 00:35:39,571 --> 00:35:40,948 WHAT IS A JUMBO SHRIMP? I MEAN, IT'S LIKE "MILITARY INTELLIGENCE"... THE WORDS DON'T 960 00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,217 I MEAN, IT'S LIKE "MILITARY INTELLIGENCE"... THE WORDS DON'T GO TOGETHER, MAN. 961 00:35:42,241 --> 00:35:45,121 INTELLIGENCE"... THE WORDS DON'T GO TOGETHER, MAN. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] 962 00:35:59,957 --> 00:36:01,758 [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] 963 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,134 [WHISTLE BLOWS] Announcer: NEW YORK CAB DRIVER, TEMPORARILY BLINDED, 964 00:36:33,158 --> 00:36:35,770 Announcer: NEW YORK CAB DRIVER, TEMPORARILY BLINDED, STILL PUTS IN 45-HOUR WEEK. 965 00:36:35,794 --> 00:36:37,138 DRIVER, TEMPORARILY BLINDED, STILL PUTS IN 45-HOUR WEEK. EXCUSE ME. 966 00:36:37,162 --> 00:36:38,473 STILL PUTS IN 45-HOUR WEEK. EXCUSE ME. HMM? 967 00:36:38,497 --> 00:36:39,374 EXCUSE ME. HMM? SIR? 968 00:36:39,398 --> 00:36:41,276 HMM? SIR? YES, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO YOU? 969 00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:42,610 SIR? YES, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO YOU? WELL, I WAS TAKING A FARE TO 970 00:36:42,634 --> 00:36:43,811 YES, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO YOU? WELL, I WAS TAKING A FARE TO ONE OF THOSE MOVIE PREMIERES, 971 00:36:43,835 --> 00:36:44,379 WELL, I WAS TAKING A FARE TO ONE OF THOSE MOVIE PREMIERES, YOU KNOW. 972 00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:45,513 ONE OF THOSE MOVIE PREMIERES, YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW THEM BIG SPOTLIGHTS? 973 00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:46,581 YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW THEM BIG SPOTLIGHTS? WHERE THEY HAVE THE LIGHTS IN 974 00:36:46,605 --> 00:36:47,081 YOU KNOW THEM BIG SPOTLIGHTS? WHERE THEY HAVE THE LIGHTS IN THE SKY? 975 00:36:47,105 --> 00:36:47,582 WHERE THEY HAVE THE LIGHTS IN THE SKY? YEAH. 976 00:36:47,606 --> 00:36:48,216 THE SKY? YEAH. YEAH, RIGHT. 977 00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:49,217 YEAH. YEAH, RIGHT. I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW THEY 978 00:36:49,241 --> 00:36:50,285 YEAH, RIGHT. I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW THEY GET 'EM SO BRIGHT, SO I WENT AND 979 00:36:50,309 --> 00:36:50,951 I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW THEY GET 'EM SO BRIGHT, SO I WENT AND STARED INTO IT. 980 00:36:50,975 --> 00:36:52,387 GET 'EM SO BRIGHT, SO I WENT AND STARED INTO IT. YEAH? STARED INTO THE LIGHT? 981 00:36:52,411 --> 00:36:52,887 STARED INTO IT. YEAH? STARED INTO THE LIGHT? YEAH. 982 00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:53,688 YEAH? STARED INTO THE LIGHT? YEAH. FOR HOW LONG? 983 00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:54,755 YEAH. FOR HOW LONG? ABOUT A HALF AN HOUR. 984 00:36:54,779 --> 00:36:55,256 FOR HOW LONG? ABOUT A HALF AN HOUR. YEAH? 985 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,524 ABOUT A HALF AN HOUR. YEAH? THE DOCTOR SAYS IT'S ONLY 986 00:36:56,548 --> 00:36:57,091 YEAH? THE DOCTOR SAYS IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY. 987 00:36:57,115 --> 00:36:58,193 THE DOCTOR SAYS IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY. MY SIGHT WILL PROBABLY COME 988 00:36:58,217 --> 00:36:58,726 TEMPORARY. MY SIGHT WILL PROBABLY COME BACK. 989 00:36:58,750 --> 00:36:59,727 MY SIGHT WILL PROBABLY COME BACK. OH, THAT'S GOOD. 990 00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:00,928 BACK. OH, THAT'S GOOD. AND YET YOU STILL DRIVE? 991 00:37:00,952 --> 00:37:02,330 OH, THAT'S GOOD. AND YET YOU STILL DRIVE? DAMN RIGHT I STILL DRIVE! 992 00:37:02,354 --> 00:37:04,165 AND YET YOU STILL DRIVE? DAMN RIGHT I STILL DRIVE! WHAT SHOULD I DO... SIT HOME AND 993 00:37:04,189 --> 00:37:05,200 DAMN RIGHT I STILL DRIVE! WHAT SHOULD I DO... SIT HOME AND COLLECT WELFARE? 994 00:37:05,224 --> 00:37:06,867 WHAT SHOULD I DO... SIT HOME AND COLLECT WELFARE? I KNOW THESE STREETS LIKE THE 995 00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,203 COLLECT WELFARE? I KNOW THESE STREETS LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND. 996 00:37:08,227 --> 00:37:08,736 I KNOW THESE STREETS LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND. YEAH? 997 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:09,470 BACK OF MY HAND. YEAH? THAT'S RIGHT. 998 00:37:09,494 --> 00:37:11,239 YEAH? THAT'S RIGHT. WELL, CONGRATULATIONS. 999 00:37:11,263 --> 00:37:12,207 THAT'S RIGHT. WELL, CONGRATULATIONS. THANK YOU. 1000 00:37:12,231 --> 00:37:13,308 WELL, CONGRATULATIONS. THANK YOU. YEAH. 1001 00:37:13,332 --> 00:37:14,542 THANK YOU. YEAH. 56th AND MADISON. 1002 00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:15,876 YEAH. 56th AND MADISON. GOT TO GO NOW, PAL. 1003 00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:16,511 56th AND MADISON. GOT TO GO NOW, PAL. GOT A FARE. 1004 00:37:16,535 --> 00:37:17,111 GOT TO GO NOW, PAL. GOT A FARE. OKAY. 1005 00:37:17,135 --> 00:37:18,580 GOT A FARE. OKAY. ANY CARS IN FRONT OF US? 1006 00:37:18,604 --> 00:37:20,147 OKAY. ANY CARS IN FRONT OF US? NO. 1007 00:37:20,171 --> 00:37:22,016 ANY CARS IN FRONT OF US? NO. [HORN HONKS] 1008 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,973 NO. [HORN HONKS] [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] 1009 00:37:31,915 --> 00:37:36,297 Announcer: IN AN UNPRECEDENTED MOVE TO EASE WORLD TENSION, THE COUNTRY OF ISRAEL 1010 00:37:36,321 --> 00:37:38,032 UNPRECEDENTED MOVE TO EASE WORLD TENSION, THE COUNTRY OF ISRAEL AND THE STATE OF GEORGIA HAVE 1011 00:37:38,056 --> 00:37:39,967 TENSION, THE COUNTRY OF ISRAEL AND THE STATE OF GEORGIA HAVE AGREED TO CHANGE PLACES. 1012 00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:42,103 AND THE STATE OF GEORGIA HAVE AGREED TO CHANGE PLACES. THE ENTIRE STATE OF GEORGIA... 1013 00:37:42,127 --> 00:37:44,339 AGREED TO CHANGE PLACES. THE ENTIRE STATE OF GEORGIA... RESIDENTS, BUSINESSES, ALL FORMS 1014 00:37:44,363 --> 00:37:46,507 THE ENTIRE STATE OF GEORGIA... RESIDENTS, BUSINESSES, ALL FORMS OF COMMERCE... WILL RELOCATE IN 1015 00:37:46,531 --> 00:37:48,943 RESIDENTS, BUSINESSES, ALL FORMS OF COMMERCE... WILL RELOCATE IN THE MIDDLE EAST ON JANUARY 1, 1016 00:37:48,967 --> 00:37:50,511 OF COMMERCE... WILL RELOCATE IN THE MIDDLE EAST ON JANUARY 1, 1977. 1017 00:37:50,535 --> 00:37:52,447 THE MIDDLE EAST ON JANUARY 1, 1977. NO BUILDINGS WILL BE MOVED. 1018 00:37:52,471 --> 00:37:54,048 1977. NO BUILDINGS WILL BE MOVED. IT WILL BE AN EVEN PROPERTY 1019 00:37:54,072 --> 00:37:59,587 NO BUILDINGS WILL BE MOVED. IT WILL BE AN EVEN PROPERTY EXCHANGE. 1020 00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:01,589 IT WILL BE AN EVEN PROPERTY EXCHANGE. THIS IS INDEED AN AUSPICIOUS 1021 00:38:01,613 --> 00:38:04,225 EXCHANGE. THIS IS INDEED AN AUSPICIOUS OCCASION OF THE 20th CENTURY, 1022 00:38:04,249 --> 00:38:05,960 THIS IS INDEED AN AUSPICIOUS OCCASION OF THE 20th CENTURY, AND I HOPE THAT NEW ORLEANS WILL 1023 00:38:05,984 --> 00:38:07,462 OCCASION OF THE 20th CENTURY, AND I HOPE THAT NEW ORLEANS WILL BE EASIER TO DEAL WITH THAN 1024 00:38:07,486 --> 00:38:08,396 AND I HOPE THAT NEW ORLEANS WILL BE EASIER TO DEAL WITH THAN CAIRO. 1025 00:38:08,420 --> 00:38:11,098 BE EASIER TO DEAL WITH THAN CAIRO. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] 1026 00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:12,734 CAIRO. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] I KNOW... I KNOW THAT MY 1027 00:38:12,758 --> 00:38:14,602 [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] I KNOW... I KNOW THAT MY ENTIRE STATE IS LOOKING FORWARD 1028 00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:16,537 I KNOW... I KNOW THAT MY ENTIRE STATE IS LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAT WITHOUT HUMIDITY. 1029 00:38:16,561 --> 00:38:19,741 ENTIRE STATE IS LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAT WITHOUT HUMIDITY. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] 1030 00:38:19,765 --> 00:38:22,605 TO HEAT WITHOUT HUMIDITY. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] 1031 00:38:28,005 --> 00:38:32,687 Announcer: IN A SWEEPING MAJORITY VOTE, THIS PROGRESSIVE STATE HAS DECIDED TO LOWER THE 1032 00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:35,122 MAJORITY VOTE, THIS PROGRESSIVE STATE HAS DECIDED TO LOWER THE AGE OF CONSENT FROM 18 TO 7. 1033 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:37,258 STATE HAS DECIDED TO LOWER THE AGE OF CONSENT FROM 18 TO 7. BUSINESSES OF ALL TYPES REPORT A 1034 00:38:37,282 --> 00:38:38,559 AGE OF CONSENT FROM 18 TO 7. BUSINESSES OF ALL TYPES REPORT A SURGE IN ACTIVITY. 1035 00:38:38,583 --> 00:38:40,895 BUSINESSES OF ALL TYPES REPORT A SURGE IN ACTIVITY. ACTUALLY, UH, I'M IN... I'M 1036 00:38:40,919 --> 00:38:42,229 SURGE IN ACTIVITY. ACTUALLY, UH, I'M IN... I'M IN ADVERTISING. 1037 00:38:42,253 --> 00:38:43,498 ACTUALLY, UH, I'M IN... I'M IN ADVERTISING. HERE. I'LL SHOW YOU. 1038 00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:47,034 IN ADVERTISING. HERE. I'LL SHOW YOU. THIS IS MY COMPANY HERE. 1039 00:38:47,058 --> 00:38:48,503 HERE. I'LL SHOW YOU. THIS IS MY COMPANY HERE. I CAN'T READ YET. 1040 00:38:48,527 --> 00:38:50,305 THIS IS MY COMPANY HERE. I CAN'T READ YET. OH, WELL, THIS SAYS THAT I'M 1041 00:38:50,329 --> 00:38:51,972 I CAN'T READ YET. OH, WELL, THIS SAYS THAT I'M IN CHARGE OF CASTING. 1042 00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:53,675 OH, WELL, THIS SAYS THAT I'M IN CHARGE OF CASTING. I CAST A LOT OF PEOPLE, YOU 1043 00:38:53,699 --> 00:38:54,742 IN CHARGE OF CASTING. I CAST A LOT OF PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, LIKE YOURSELF. 1044 00:38:54,766 --> 00:38:55,410 I CAST A LOT OF PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, LIKE YOURSELF. MM-HMM. 1045 00:38:55,434 --> 00:38:56,844 KNOW, LIKE YOURSELF. MM-HMM. YOU HAVE VERY NICE 1046 00:38:56,868 --> 00:38:58,346 MM-HMM. YOU HAVE VERY NICE CHEEKBONES. 1047 00:38:58,370 --> 00:39:00,047 YOU HAVE VERY NICE CHEEKBONES. EXCUSE ME, SIR. 1048 00:39:00,071 --> 00:39:01,316 CHEEKBONES. EXCUSE ME, SIR. I'M WITH "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH." 1049 00:39:01,340 --> 00:39:02,617 EXCUSE ME, SIR. I'M WITH "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH." DO YOU LIVE UP IN THIS AREA? 1050 00:39:02,641 --> 00:39:03,618 I'M WITH "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH." DO YOU LIVE UP IN THIS AREA? NO, I'M FROM L.A. 1051 00:39:03,642 --> 00:39:04,719 DO YOU LIVE UP IN THIS AREA? NO, I'M FROM L.A. AH. WHO'S YOUR DATE? 1052 00:39:04,743 --> 00:39:05,853 NO, I'M FROM L.A. AH. WHO'S YOUR DATE? IT'S JUST SOMEONE I'M TALKING 1053 00:39:05,877 --> 00:39:06,387 AH. WHO'S YOUR DATE? IT'S JUST SOMEONE I'M TALKING TO HERE. 1054 00:39:06,411 --> 00:39:07,622 IT'S JUST SOMEONE I'M TALKING TO HERE. UH, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 1055 00:39:07,646 --> 00:39:08,889 TO HERE. UH, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE US 1056 00:39:08,913 --> 00:39:09,924 UH, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE US FOR A LITTLE WHILE, HUH? 1057 00:39:09,948 --> 00:39:10,891 WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE US FOR A LITTLE WHILE, HUH? ALL RIGHT. 1058 00:39:10,915 --> 00:39:14,329 FOR A LITTLE WHILE, HUH? ALL RIGHT. UH, I'M STAYING, UH, AT THE 1059 00:39:14,353 --> 00:39:15,530 ALL RIGHT. UH, I'M STAYING, UH, AT THE INN, YOU KNOW, OUT BY THE 1060 00:39:15,554 --> 00:39:16,197 UH, I'M STAYING, UH, AT THE INN, YOU KNOW, OUT BY THE AIRPORT THERE. 1061 00:39:16,221 --> 00:39:16,731 INN, YOU KNOW, OUT BY THE AIRPORT THERE. YEAH? 1062 00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:17,732 AIRPORT THERE. YEAH? MAYBE... I DON'T KNOW IF YOU 1063 00:39:17,756 --> 00:39:18,366 YEAH? MAYBE... I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE TIME... 1064 00:39:18,390 --> 00:39:19,099 MAYBE... I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE TIME... Announcer: ALTHOUGH 1065 00:39:19,123 --> 00:39:20,134 HAVE TIME... Announcer: ALTHOUGH "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" AIRS WHAT 1066 00:39:20,158 --> 00:39:22,303 Announcer: ALTHOUGH "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" AIRS WHAT IT MUST, SOME THINGS IT AIRS 1067 00:39:22,327 --> 00:39:23,705 "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" AIRS WHAT IT MUST, SOME THINGS IT AIRS DISGUSTS IT. 1068 00:39:23,729 --> 00:39:28,810 IT MUST, SOME THINGS IT AIRS DISGUSTS IT. [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] 1069 00:39:28,834 --> 00:39:30,845 DISGUSTS IT. [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] WHILE YOU ARE VIEWING THIS, 1070 00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:33,080 [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] WHILE YOU ARE VIEWING THIS, "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" CONTINUES 1071 00:39:33,104 --> 00:39:35,182 WHILE YOU ARE VIEWING THIS, "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" CONTINUES TO INVESTIGATE NEW LEADS, LIKE 1072 00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:37,719 "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" CONTINUES TO INVESTIGATE NEW LEADS, LIKE THE WOMAN WHO SWIMS 24 HOURS A 1073 00:39:37,743 --> 00:39:41,088 TO INVESTIGATE NEW LEADS, LIKE THE WOMAN WHO SWIMS 24 HOURS A DAY EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE... 1074 00:39:41,112 --> 00:39:42,490 THE WOMAN WHO SWIMS 24 HOURS A DAY EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE... OR THE MAN WHO CAN EAT A 1075 00:39:42,514 --> 00:39:45,326 DAY EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE... OR THE MAN WHO CAN EAT A THOUSAND EGGS... 1076 00:39:45,350 --> 00:39:47,829 OR THE MAN WHO CAN EAT A THOUSAND EGGS... OR THE GENIUS, WITH AN I.Q. OF 1077 00:39:47,853 --> 00:39:51,454 THOUSAND EGGS... OR THE GENIUS, WITH AN I.Q. OF OVER 240. 1078 00:40:13,878 --> 00:40:21,878 Announcer: AND NOW WE RETURN TO "BEE HOSPITAL." [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 1079 00:40:22,454 --> 00:40:25,165 TO "BEE HOSPITAL." [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] MR. BEE. 1080 00:40:25,189 --> 00:40:26,166 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] MR. BEE. YES? 1081 00:40:26,190 --> 00:40:27,201 MR. BEE. YES? CONGRATULATIONS. 1082 00:40:27,225 --> 00:40:28,936 YES? CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A DRONE. 1083 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:29,570 CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A DRONE. IT'S A DRONE! 1084 00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:30,204 IT'S A DRONE. IT'S A DRONE! IT'S A DRONE! 1085 00:40:30,228 --> 00:40:31,238 IT'S A DRONE! IT'S A DRONE! CONGRATULATIONS, MAN! 1086 00:40:31,262 --> 00:40:32,740 IT'S A DRONE! CONGRATULATIONS, MAN! CONGRATULATIONS. 1087 00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:33,775 CONGRATULATIONS, MAN! CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A DRONE. 1088 00:40:33,799 --> 00:40:34,742 CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A DRONE. OH! 1089 00:40:34,766 --> 00:40:39,947 IT'S A DRONE. OH! [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 1090 00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:41,115 OH! [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] MR. BEE? 1091 00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:41,916 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] MR. BEE? YES? 1092 00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:43,083 MR. BEE? YES? CONGRATULATIONS. 1093 00:40:43,107 --> 00:40:44,552 YES? CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A DRONE. 1094 00:40:44,576 --> 00:40:45,653 CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A DRONE. YEAH! 1095 00:40:45,677 --> 00:40:47,789 IT'S A DRONE. YEAH! IT'S A DRONE! 1096 00:40:47,813 --> 00:40:48,756 YEAH! IT'S A DRONE! IT'S A DRONE! 1097 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:55,430 IT'S A DRONE! IT'S A DRONE! [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 1098 00:40:55,454 --> 00:40:56,831 IT'S A DRONE! [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] MR. BEE? 1099 00:40:56,855 --> 00:40:57,698 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] MR. BEE? YES? 1100 00:40:57,722 --> 00:40:58,833 MR. BEE? YES? CONGRATULATIONS. 1101 00:40:58,857 --> 00:41:00,234 YES? CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A WORKER! 1102 00:41:00,258 --> 00:41:02,202 CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A WORKER! IT'S A WORKER? 1103 00:41:02,226 --> 00:41:03,404 IT'S A WORKER! IT'S A WORKER? HEY, IT'S A WORKER. 1104 00:41:03,428 --> 00:41:04,539 IT'S A WORKER? HEY, IT'S A WORKER. IT'S A WORKER. 1105 00:41:04,563 --> 00:41:06,040 HEY, IT'S A WORKER. IT'S A WORKER. A WORKER. 1106 00:41:06,064 --> 00:41:07,207 IT'S A WORKER. A WORKER. AW, IT'S A WORKER! 1107 00:41:07,231 --> 00:41:08,008 A WORKER. AW, IT'S A WORKER! CONGRATULATIONS. 1108 00:41:08,032 --> 00:41:09,243 AW, IT'S A WORKER! CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A WORKER. 1109 00:41:09,267 --> 00:41:10,411 CONGRATULATIONS. IT'S A WORKER. Announcer: THUS CONCLUDES 1110 00:41:10,435 --> 00:41:11,446 IT'S A WORKER. Announcer: THUS CONCLUDES THIS WEEK'S CHAPTER OF 1111 00:41:11,470 --> 00:41:12,580 Announcer: THUS CONCLUDES THIS WEEK'S CHAPTER OF "BEE HOSPITAL." 1112 00:41:12,604 --> 00:41:14,549 THIS WEEK'S CHAPTER OF "BEE HOSPITAL." AND NOW A SCENE FROM NEXT WEEK'S 1113 00:41:14,573 --> 00:41:18,385 "BEE HOSPITAL." AND NOW A SCENE FROM NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE OF "BEE HOSPITAL." 1114 00:41:18,409 --> 00:41:21,021 AND NOW A SCENE FROM NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE OF "BEE HOSPITAL." [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] 1115 00:41:21,045 --> 00:41:22,122 EPISODE OF "BEE HOSPITAL." [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] MR. BEE? 1116 00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:22,890 [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] MR. BEE? YES? 1117 00:41:22,914 --> 00:41:24,358 MR. BEE? YES? CONGRATULATIONS, MR. BEE. 1118 00:41:24,382 --> 00:41:25,225 YES? CONGRATULATIONS, MR. BEE. IT'S A QUEEN. 1119 00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:26,126 CONGRATULATIONS, MR. BEE. IT'S A QUEEN. OH, AAH! 1120 00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:28,596 IT'S A QUEEN. OH, AAH! HEY, HEY, HEY, HUH? 1121 00:41:28,620 --> 00:41:29,296 OH, AAH! HEY, HEY, HEY, HUH? IT'S A QUEEN! 1122 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,397 HEY, HEY, HEY, HUH? IT'S A QUEEN! IT'S A QUEEN! 1123 00:41:30,421 --> 00:41:32,800 IT'S A QUEEN! IT'S A QUEEN! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1124 00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:35,336 IT'S A QUEEN! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [RINGS] 1125 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,270 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [RINGS] HELLO? 1126 00:41:36,294 --> 00:41:38,072 [RINGS] HELLO? HELLO! BY JUST ANSWERING THIS 1127 00:41:38,096 --> 00:41:39,740 HELLO? HELLO! BY JUST ANSWERING THIS PHONE CALL, YOU HAVE QUALIFIED 1128 00:41:39,764 --> 00:41:41,342 HELLO! BY JUST ANSWERING THIS PHONE CALL, YOU HAVE QUALIFIED FOR A CHALLENGING NEW CAREER 1129 00:41:41,366 --> 00:41:43,077 PHONE CALL, YOU HAVE QUALIFIED FOR A CHALLENGING NEW CAREER THAT COULD EARN YOU UP TO $80 A 1130 00:41:43,101 --> 00:41:43,578 FOR A CHALLENGING NEW CAREER THAT COULD EARN YOU UP TO $80 A DAY. 1131 00:41:43,602 --> 00:41:44,411 THAT COULD EARN YOU UP TO $80 A DAY. TELL ME MORE. 1132 00:41:44,435 --> 00:41:45,880 DAY. TELL ME MORE. DID YOU KNOW THAT THE RECENT 1133 00:41:45,904 --> 00:41:47,247 TELL ME MORE. DID YOU KNOW THAT THE RECENT GLUT OF LATE-NIGHT TV ADS FOR 1134 00:41:47,271 --> 00:41:49,083 DID YOU KNOW THAT THE RECENT GLUT OF LATE-NIGHT TV ADS FOR SO-CALLED TRAINING SCHOOLS HAS 1135 00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:50,718 GLUT OF LATE-NIGHT TV ADS FOR SO-CALLED TRAINING SCHOOLS HAS CREATED A DEMAND FOR SKILLED 1136 00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:52,119 SO-CALLED TRAINING SCHOOLS HAS CREATED A DEMAND FOR SKILLED PHONE ANSWERERS TO TAKE CALLS 1137 00:41:52,143 --> 00:41:53,287 CREATED A DEMAND FOR SKILLED PHONE ANSWERERS TO TAKE CALLS AND WRITE DOWN MESSAGES? 1138 00:41:53,311 --> 00:41:54,054 PHONE ANSWERERS TO TAKE CALLS AND WRITE DOWN MESSAGES? IT'S TRUE. 1139 00:41:54,078 --> 00:41:55,556 AND WRITE DOWN MESSAGES? IT'S TRUE. THE COUNTLESS SCHOOLS AND 1140 00:41:55,580 --> 00:41:57,191 IT'S TRUE. THE COUNTLESS SCHOOLS AND INSTITUTIONS THAT TEACH YOU 1141 00:41:57,215 --> 00:41:58,793 THE COUNTLESS SCHOOLS AND INSTITUTIONS THAT TEACH YOU COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, MOTEL 1142 00:41:58,817 --> 00:41:59,827 INSTITUTIONS THAT TEACH YOU COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, MOTEL MANAGEMENT, AIRPORT 1143 00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:01,095 COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, MOTEL MANAGEMENT, AIRPORT SURVEILLANCE, AND DIESEL 1144 00:42:01,119 --> 00:42:02,597 MANAGEMENT, AIRPORT SURVEILLANCE, AND DIESEL MECHANICS, TO NAME BUT A FEW, 1145 00:42:02,621 --> 00:42:04,064 SURVEILLANCE, AND DIESEL MECHANICS, TO NAME BUT A FEW, DESPERATELY NEED OPERATORS TO 1146 00:42:04,088 --> 00:42:05,633 MECHANICS, TO NAME BUT A FEW, DESPERATELY NEED OPERATORS TO STAND BY AT THE END OF THEIR TV 1147 00:42:05,657 --> 00:42:06,833 DESPERATELY NEED OPERATORS TO STAND BY AT THE END OF THEIR TV ADS. 1148 00:42:06,857 --> 00:42:08,424 NOW ABC, THE ACADEMY OF BETTER 1149 00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:10,092 CAREERS, OFFERS YOU THE CHANCE 1150 00:42:10,227 --> 00:42:11,360 TO BECOME ONE OF THESE 1151 00:42:11,495 --> 00:42:13,062 SOUGHT-AFTER, HIGH-PAID STANDBY 1152 00:42:13,196 --> 00:42:14,330 OPERATORS. 1153 00:42:14,598 --> 00:42:18,412 YOU'LL LEARN THE LATEST UP-TO-THE-MINUTE PHONE-ANSWERING TECHNIQUES FROM OUR STAFF OF 1154 00:42:18,436 --> 00:42:19,847 UP-TO-THE-MINUTE PHONE-ANSWERING TECHNIQUES FROM OUR STAFF OF EXPERIENCED INSTRUCTORS. 1155 00:42:19,871 --> 00:42:22,650 TECHNIQUES FROM OUR STAFF OF EXPERIENCED INSTRUCTORS. HELLO? 1156 00:42:22,674 --> 00:42:23,450 EXPERIENCED INSTRUCTORS. HELLO? HELLO? 1157 00:42:23,474 --> 00:42:24,519 HELLO? HELLO? HELLO. 1158 00:42:24,543 --> 00:42:25,920 HELLO? HELLO. > YOU'LL EXPLORE THE 1159 00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:27,655 HELLO. > YOU'LL EXPLORE THE TELEPHONE... ITS PAST, ITS 1160 00:42:27,679 --> 00:42:29,624 > YOU'LL EXPLORE THE TELEPHONE... ITS PAST, ITS PRESENT, AND EVEN THE AMAZING 1161 00:42:29,648 --> 00:42:31,291 TELEPHONE... ITS PAST, ITS PRESENT, AND EVEN THE AMAZING PICTURE PHONES OF THE FUTURE. 1162 00:42:31,315 --> 00:42:32,560 PRESENT, AND EVEN THE AMAZING PICTURE PHONES OF THE FUTURE. NOW, THESE ARE THE AREA 1163 00:42:32,584 --> 00:42:33,127 PICTURE PHONES OF THE FUTURE. NOW, THESE ARE THE AREA CODES... 1164 00:42:33,151 --> 00:42:34,361 NOW, THESE ARE THE AREA CODES... IN ONLY SIX WEEKS, OUR 1165 00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:35,897 CODES... IN ONLY SIX WEEKS, OUR EXPERTS WILL SHOW YOU EVERYTHING 1166 00:42:35,921 --> 00:42:37,164 IN ONLY SIX WEEKS, OUR EXPERTS WILL SHOW YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ANSWER 1167 00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:38,465 EXPERTS WILL SHOW YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ANSWER PHONES PROFESSIONALLY. 1168 00:42:38,489 --> 00:42:41,969 YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ANSWER PHONES PROFESSIONALLY. 9-4. 1169 00:42:41,993 --> 00:42:43,560 PHONES PROFESSIONALLY. 9-4. CHAD... 1170 00:42:43,827 --> 00:42:45,094 ABC IS VETERAN-APPROVED BY 1171 00:42:45,228 --> 00:42:46,395 THE FEDERAL BOARD OF PUBLIC 1172 00:42:46,530 --> 00:42:47,396 INSTRUCTION AND IS ELIGIBLE 1173 00:42:47,531 --> 00:42:48,998 UNDER THE STUDENT... 1174 00:42:49,266 --> 00:42:51,812 EXCUSE ME, MISTER. I HAVE TO GET OFF. BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 1175 00:42:51,836 --> 00:42:53,614 I HAVE TO GET OFF. BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING? TO CALL ABC AND START MY NEW 1176 00:42:53,638 --> 00:42:55,115 BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING? TO CALL ABC AND START MY NEW CAREER AS A SOUGHT-AFTER, 1177 00:42:55,139 --> 00:43:00,187 TO CALL ABC AND START MY NEW CAREER AS A SOUGHT-AFTER, HIGH-PAID STANDBY OPERATOR. 1178 00:43:00,211 --> 00:43:01,789 CAREER AS A SOUGHT-AFTER, HIGH-PAID STANDBY OPERATOR. HEY, DON'T LET LIFE PUT YOU 1179 00:43:01,813 --> 00:43:02,389 HIGH-PAID STANDBY OPERATOR. HEY, DON'T LET LIFE PUT YOU ON HOLD. 1180 00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:04,424 HEY, DON'T LET LIFE PUT YOU ON HOLD. BECOME A STANDBY OPERATOR. 1181 00:43:04,448 --> 00:43:05,568 CALL NOW FOR A FREE BOOKLET! 1182 00:43:05,616 --> 00:43:08,417 CALL 311-555-4425. 1183 00:43:08,552 --> 00:43:11,054 THAT'S 311-555-4425. 1184 00:43:11,188 --> 00:43:12,521 OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY TO 1185 00:43:12,656 --> 00:43:14,156 TAKE YOUR CALL. 1186 00:43:14,424 --> 00:43:18,327 Announcer: AND NOW, COMEDIENNE VALRI BROMFIELD! 1187 00:43:28,171 --> 00:43:31,719 THANK YOU. I DON'T LOOK LIKE A COMEDIAN, DO I? 1188 00:43:31,743 --> 00:43:32,653 I DON'T LOOK LIKE A COMEDIAN, DO I? THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT. 1189 00:43:32,677 --> 00:43:33,654 I? THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT. I'M A SCHOOLTEACHER, AND, 1190 00:43:33,678 --> 00:43:34,822 THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT. I'M A SCHOOLTEACHER, AND, PEOPLE, I NEED A LOT OF SILENCE 1191 00:43:34,846 --> 00:43:35,823 I'M A SCHOOLTEACHER, AND, PEOPLE, I NEED A LOT OF SILENCE IN THIS ROOM IF I'M GOING TO 1192 00:43:35,847 --> 00:43:36,323 PEOPLE, I NEED A LOT OF SILENCE IN THIS ROOM IF I'M GOING TO TALK. 1193 00:43:36,347 --> 00:43:37,725 IN THIS ROOM IF I'M GOING TO TALK. PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PLEASE, PLEASE, 1194 00:43:37,749 --> 00:43:39,193 TALK. PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, AM I IN 1195 00:43:39,217 --> 00:43:41,161 PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, AM I IN A ZOO?! 1196 00:43:41,185 --> 00:43:41,929 PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, AM I IN A ZOO?! ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE. 1197 00:43:41,953 --> 00:43:43,130 A ZOO?! ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE. PLEASE, LET'S BRING YOU OUT OF 1198 00:43:43,154 --> 00:43:44,298 ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE. PLEASE, LET'S BRING YOU OUT OF THE SUBURBS AND INTO THE CITY. 1199 00:43:44,322 --> 00:43:45,332 PLEASE, LET'S BRING YOU OUT OF THE SUBURBS AND INTO THE CITY. I'D LIKE TO HAVE A FEW WORDS 1200 00:43:45,356 --> 00:43:45,900 THE SUBURBS AND INTO THE CITY. I'D LIKE TO HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH YOU. 1201 00:43:45,924 --> 00:43:46,701 I'D LIKE TO HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH YOU. OKAY, OKAY, PEOPLE. 1202 00:43:46,725 --> 00:43:49,203 WITH YOU. OKAY, OKAY, PEOPLE. NOW, TODAY, WE HAVE A BIG 1203 00:43:49,227 --> 00:43:50,404 OKAY, OKAY, PEOPLE. NOW, TODAY, WE HAVE A BIG VOLLEYBALL GAME AHEAD OF US, 1204 00:43:50,428 --> 00:43:51,639 NOW, TODAY, WE HAVE A BIG VOLLEYBALL GAME AHEAD OF US, PEOPLE, AND AS YOU KNOW, THE 1205 00:43:51,663 --> 00:43:52,807 VOLLEYBALL GAME AHEAD OF US, PEOPLE, AND AS YOU KNOW, THE PRINCIPAL IS COUNTING ON WINNING 1206 00:43:52,831 --> 00:43:53,574 PEOPLE, AND AS YOU KNOW, THE PRINCIPAL IS COUNTING ON WINNING THE CUP. 1207 00:43:53,598 --> 00:43:54,642 PRINCIPAL IS COUNTING ON WINNING THE CUP. THE PRINCIPAL IS A WHAT? 1208 00:43:54,666 --> 00:43:56,744 THE CUP. THE PRINCIPAL IS A WHAT? IS THIS A FRENCH FILM I'M LIVING 1209 00:43:56,768 --> 00:43:57,478 THE PRINCIPAL IS A WHAT? IS THIS A FRENCH FILM I'M LIVING IN, PEOPLE?! 1210 00:43:57,502 --> 00:43:59,113 IS THIS A FRENCH FILM I'M LIVING IN, PEOPLE?! PLEASE, I HAVE A FEW POINTS TO 1211 00:43:59,137 --> 00:43:59,580 IN, PEOPLE?! PLEASE, I HAVE A FEW POINTS TO MAKE. 1212 00:43:59,604 --> 00:44:00,815 PLEASE, I HAVE A FEW POINTS TO MAKE. I'D LIKE TO MAKE THEM. 1213 00:44:00,839 --> 00:44:02,382 MAKE. I'D LIKE TO MAKE THEM. OKAY, PEOPLE, NOW, FIRST OF ALL, 1214 00:44:02,406 --> 00:44:03,851 I'D LIKE TO MAKE THEM. OKAY, PEOPLE, NOW, FIRST OF ALL, WE'RE IN OUR LOVELY GYM TOGS, 1215 00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:05,152 OKAY, PEOPLE, NOW, FIRST OF ALL, WE'RE IN OUR LOVELY GYM TOGS, AND I'D LIKE TO KEEP THEM 1216 00:44:05,176 --> 00:44:06,420 WE'RE IN OUR LOVELY GYM TOGS, AND I'D LIKE TO KEEP THEM LOOKING LOVELY AND CRISP. 1217 00:44:06,444 --> 00:44:08,122 AND I'D LIKE TO KEEP THEM LOOKING LOVELY AND CRISP. TURQUOISE AND WHITE... A VERY 1218 00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:09,724 LOOKING LOVELY AND CRISP. TURQUOISE AND WHITE... A VERY GOOD COMBINATION, OKAY, BUT, 1219 00:44:09,748 --> 00:44:11,258 TURQUOISE AND WHITE... A VERY GOOD COMBINATION, OKAY, BUT, KEEP THE BOX PLEAT NICE AND 1220 00:44:11,282 --> 00:44:11,759 GOOD COMBINATION, OKAY, BUT, KEEP THE BOX PLEAT NICE AND NEAT. 1221 00:44:11,783 --> 00:44:13,260 KEEP THE BOX PLEAT NICE AND NEAT. DON'T SIT DOWN DURING THE GAME. 1222 00:44:13,284 --> 00:44:15,029 NEAT. DON'T SIT DOWN DURING THE GAME. OKAY, AND ANOTHER THING, PEOPLE, 1223 00:44:15,053 --> 00:44:16,764 DON'T SIT DOWN DURING THE GAME. OKAY, AND ANOTHER THING, PEOPLE, PLEASE, TWO POINTS I'D LIKE TO 1224 00:44:16,788 --> 00:44:18,365 OKAY, AND ANOTHER THING, PEOPLE, PLEASE, TWO POINTS I'D LIKE TO MAKE HERE... DRESS SHIELDS. 1225 00:44:18,389 --> 00:44:20,901 PLEASE, TWO POINTS I'D LIKE TO MAKE HERE... DRESS SHIELDS. DRESS SHIELDS, GIRLS, OKAY? 1226 00:44:20,925 --> 00:44:22,569 MAKE HERE... DRESS SHIELDS. DRESS SHIELDS, GIRLS, OKAY? JUST FOR THAT EXTRA NEATNESS. 1227 00:44:22,593 --> 00:44:24,371 DRESS SHIELDS, GIRLS, OKAY? JUST FOR THAT EXTRA NEATNESS. OH, AND, PEOPLE, THE HAIRSTYLES 1228 00:44:24,395 --> 00:44:26,140 JUST FOR THAT EXTRA NEATNESS. OH, AND, PEOPLE, THE HAIRSTYLES ARE VERY, VERY NICE, INDEED, BUT 1229 00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:27,775 OH, AND, PEOPLE, THE HAIRSTYLES ARE VERY, VERY NICE, INDEED, BUT LET'S KEEP THEM BACK OFF THE 1230 00:44:27,799 --> 00:44:28,976 ARE VERY, VERY NICE, INDEED, BUT LET'S KEEP THEM BACK OFF THE EYES, PEOPLE, OKAY? 1231 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,645 LET'S KEEP THEM BACK OFF THE EYES, PEOPLE, OKAY? I'VE GOT SOME HAIRNETS HERE. 1232 00:44:30,669 --> 00:44:32,780 EYES, PEOPLE, OKAY? I'VE GOT SOME HAIRNETS HERE. "OOH!" YOURSELVES! 1233 00:44:32,804 --> 00:44:34,782 I'VE GOT SOME HAIRNETS HERE. "OOH!" YOURSELVES! NOW, PEOPLE... 1234 00:44:34,806 --> 00:44:36,984 "OOH!" YOURSELVES! NOW, PEOPLE... OH, I'VE GOT... YOUR TEAM 1235 00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:38,418 NOW, PEOPLE... OH, I'VE GOT... YOUR TEAM CAPTAIN DEBBIE HERE WOULD LIKE 1236 00:44:38,442 --> 00:44:39,787 OH, I'VE GOT... YOUR TEAM CAPTAIN DEBBIE HERE WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH YOU 1237 00:44:39,811 --> 00:44:40,921 CAPTAIN DEBBIE HERE WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH YOU BEFORE YOUR GAME, OKAY? 1238 00:44:40,945 --> 00:44:42,723 TO HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH YOU BEFORE YOUR GAME, OKAY? OKAY, DEBBIE? 1239 00:44:42,747 --> 00:44:45,392 BEFORE YOUR GAME, OKAY? OKAY, DEBBIE? THANKS. [SIGHS] 1240 00:44:45,416 --> 00:44:46,861 OKAY, DEBBIE? THANKS. [SIGHS] OKAY, SHUT UP. 1241 00:44:46,885 --> 00:44:48,462 THANKS. [SIGHS] OKAY, SHUT UP. OKAY. 1242 00:44:48,486 --> 00:44:52,867 OKAY, SHUT UP. OKAY. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] 1243 00:44:52,891 --> 00:44:54,368 OKAY. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GAME 1244 00:44:54,392 --> 00:44:55,435 [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GAME AND EVERYTHING, I GUESS, OR I 1245 00:44:55,459 --> 00:44:56,436 OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GAME AND EVERYTHING, I GUESS, OR I WOULDN'T BE WEARING THESE 1246 00:44:56,460 --> 00:44:56,937 AND EVERYTHING, I GUESS, OR I WOULDN'T BE WEARING THESE THINGS! 1247 00:44:56,961 --> 00:44:58,873 WOULDN'T BE WEARING THESE THINGS! UGH! [LAUGHS] 1248 00:44:58,897 --> 00:45:00,307 THINGS! UGH! [LAUGHS] OKAY, SO THE MOST IMPORTANT 1249 00:45:00,331 --> 00:45:01,942 UGH! [LAUGHS] OKAY, SO THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE HAVE TO DO IS TO GO OUT 1250 00:45:01,966 --> 00:45:03,911 OKAY, SO THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE HAVE TO DO IS TO GO OUT THERE AND BE REALLY, REALLY 1251 00:45:03,935 --> 00:45:05,680 THING WE HAVE TO DO IS TO GO OUT THERE AND BE REALLY, REALLY CUTE, OKAY? 1252 00:45:05,704 --> 00:45:07,214 THERE AND BE REALLY, REALLY CUTE, OKAY? 'CAUSE WE ARE REALLY PRETTY 1253 00:45:07,238 --> 00:45:07,682 CUTE, OKAY? 'CAUSE WE ARE REALLY PRETTY CUTE. 1254 00:45:07,706 --> 00:45:08,849 'CAUSE WE ARE REALLY PRETTY CUTE. AND LISTEN TO ME... SOMETHING 1255 00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:10,017 CUTE. AND LISTEN TO ME... SOMETHING REALLY GREAT... THERE'S SOME 1256 00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:11,118 AND LISTEN TO ME... SOMETHING REALLY GREAT... THERE'S SOME GUYS OUT THERE WHO ARE SUCH 1257 00:45:11,142 --> 00:45:12,753 REALLY GREAT... THERE'S SOME GUYS OUT THERE WHO ARE SUCH DUHs, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE! 1258 00:45:12,777 --> 00:45:14,288 GUYS OUT THERE WHO ARE SUCH DUHs, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE! THERE'S JIMMY AND MARK AND 1259 00:45:14,312 --> 00:45:14,889 DUHs, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE! THERE'S JIMMY AND MARK AND CONNOR. 1260 00:45:14,913 --> 00:45:16,724 THERE'S JIMMY AND MARK AND CONNOR. AND WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE GUYS, 1261 00:45:16,748 --> 00:45:18,625 CONNOR. AND WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE GUYS, I CAN'T GO OUT THERE! 1262 00:45:18,649 --> 00:45:19,894 AND WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE GUYS, I CAN'T GO OUT THERE! HAVE A GOOD GAME. 1263 00:45:19,918 --> 00:45:21,918 I CAN'T GO OUT THERE! HAVE A GOOD GAME. [BAND PLAYS] 1264 00:45:28,192 --> 00:45:33,373 WE AT "SATURDAY NIGHT" WANTED TO SEE WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE CARRY GUNS, SO WE TOOK OUR CAMERA CREW 1265 00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:35,209 TO SEE WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE CARRY GUNS, SO WE TOOK OUR CAMERA CREW INTO THE STREETS TO FIND OUT. 1266 00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:36,443 GUNS, SO WE TOOK OUR CAMERA CREW INTO THE STREETS TO FIND OUT. [ROSSINI'S "WILLIAM TELL 1267 00:45:36,467 --> 00:45:39,228 INTO THE STREETS TO FIND OUT. [ROSSINI'S "WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE" PLAYS] 1268 00:46:54,978 --> 00:46:59,726 WHEN YOU SEE OUR "SATURDAY NIGHT" TRUCK IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, SHOW US YOUR GUNS. 1269 00:46:59,750 --> 00:47:00,995 "SATURDAY NIGHT" TRUCK IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD, SHOW US YOUR GUNS. [FINALE PLAYS] 1270 00:47:01,019 --> 00:47:03,259 NEIGHBORHOOD, SHOW US YOUR GUNS. [FINALE PLAYS] [APPLAUSE] 1271 00:47:08,325 --> 00:47:12,673 IT'S ALREADY SUNDAY, AND IT'S GOD'S DAY OFF. THAT'S WHAT IT SAID IN 1272 00:47:12,697 --> 00:47:13,974 GOD'S DAY OFF. THAT'S WHAT IT SAID IN THE BIBLE... HE WORKED SIX DAYS, 1273 00:47:13,998 --> 00:47:14,975 THAT'S WHAT IT SAID IN THE BIBLE... HE WORKED SIX DAYS, AND HE TOOK SUNDAY OFF. 1274 00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:16,243 THE BIBLE... HE WORKED SIX DAYS, AND HE TOOK SUNDAY OFF. IT'S HIS ONE DAY OFF, AND THAT'S 1275 00:47:16,267 --> 00:47:17,511 AND HE TOOK SUNDAY OFF. IT'S HIS ONE DAY OFF, AND THAT'S THE DAY WE ALL GO AND CROWD INTO 1276 00:47:17,535 --> 00:47:18,712 IT'S HIS ONE DAY OFF, AND THAT'S THE DAY WE ALL GO AND CROWD INTO CHURCH AND ASK HIM... 1277 00:47:18,736 --> 00:47:20,147 THE DAY WE ALL GO AND CROWD INTO CHURCH AND ASK HIM... [MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY] 1278 00:47:20,171 --> 00:47:22,983 CHURCH AND ASK HIM... [MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY] "MY DAY OFF, MAN." 1279 00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:24,484 [MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY] "MY DAY OFF, MAN." WELL, WE CREATED GOD IN OUR OWN 1280 00:47:24,508 --> 00:47:25,686 "MY DAY OFF, MAN." WELL, WE CREATED GOD IN OUR OWN IMAGE AND LIKENESS... NO 1281 00:47:25,710 --> 00:47:26,720 WELL, WE CREATED GOD IN OUR OWN IMAGE AND LIKENESS... NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT. 1282 00:47:26,744 --> 00:47:27,922 IMAGE AND LIKENESS... NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT. EVERY TIME I SEE A PICTURE OF 1283 00:47:27,946 --> 00:47:29,156 QUESTION ABOUT THAT. EVERY TIME I SEE A PICTURE OF GOD, I MEAN, HE HAS KNEES AND 1284 00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:31,158 EVERY TIME I SEE A PICTURE OF GOD, I MEAN, HE HAS KNEES AND TOENAILS, RIGHT? 1285 00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:32,492 GOD, I MEAN, HE HAS KNEES AND TOENAILS, RIGHT? THERE'S A GOOD EXAMPLE... A 1286 00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:33,894 TOENAILS, RIGHT? THERE'S A GOOD EXAMPLE... A BETTER EXAMPLE OF OUR KIND OF 1287 00:47:33,918 --> 00:47:35,395 THERE'S A GOOD EXAMPLE... A BETTER EXAMPLE OF OUR KIND OF SELF-CENTEREDNESS WHEN IT COMES 1288 00:47:35,419 --> 00:47:36,730 BETTER EXAMPLE OF OUR KIND OF SELF-CENTEREDNESS WHEN IT COMES TO GOD. 1289 00:47:36,754 --> 00:47:38,699 SELF-CENTEREDNESS WHEN IT COMES TO GOD. WHEN WE PUT A STATUE OF JESUS ON 1290 00:47:38,723 --> 00:47:40,667 TO GOD. WHEN WE PUT A STATUE OF JESUS ON THE DASHBOARD, INSTEAD OF HAVING 1291 00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:42,636 WHEN WE PUT A STATUE OF JESUS ON THE DASHBOARD, INSTEAD OF HAVING HIM LOOKING OUT AND WATCHING FOR 1292 00:47:42,660 --> 00:47:44,604 THE DASHBOARD, INSTEAD OF HAVING HIM LOOKING OUT AND WATCHING FOR TRAFFIC, WHICH IS WHAT HE SHOULD 1293 00:47:44,628 --> 00:47:47,607 HIM LOOKING OUT AND WATCHING FOR TRAFFIC, WHICH IS WHAT HE SHOULD BE DOING... WE HAVE HIM WATCHING 1294 00:47:47,631 --> 00:47:48,642 TRAFFIC, WHICH IS WHAT HE SHOULD BE DOING... WE HAVE HIM WATCHING US DRIVE. 1295 00:47:48,666 --> 00:47:51,011 BE DOING... WE HAVE HIM WATCHING US DRIVE. "HEY! WATCH THIS, JESUS! 1296 00:47:51,035 --> 00:47:52,012 US DRIVE. "HEY! WATCH THIS, JESUS! LEFT TURN!" 1297 00:47:52,036 --> 00:47:53,914 "HEY! WATCH THIS, JESUS! LEFT TURN!" AHHHHH! 1298 00:47:53,938 --> 00:47:56,884 LEFT TURN!" AHHHHH! YOU EVER SEE A STATUE LEAP? 1299 00:47:56,908 --> 00:47:58,452 AHHHHH! YOU EVER SEE A STATUE LEAP? JUMPED RIGHT UP INTO THE BABY 1300 00:47:58,476 --> 00:47:59,720 YOU EVER SEE A STATUE LEAP? JUMPED RIGHT UP INTO THE BABY SHOES THAT TIME. 1301 00:47:59,744 --> 00:48:02,056 JUMPED RIGHT UP INTO THE BABY SHOES THAT TIME. [LAUGHTER] 1302 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:03,324 SHOES THAT TIME. [LAUGHTER] DON'T WORRY. DON'T WORRY. 1303 00:48:03,348 --> 00:48:04,658 [LAUGHTER] DON'T WORRY. DON'T WORRY. THE UNIVERSE IS IN BALANCE, 1304 00:48:04,682 --> 00:48:06,160 DON'T WORRY. DON'T WORRY. THE UNIVERSE IS IN BALANCE, BECAUSE JESUS HAS A STATUE OF A 1305 00:48:06,184 --> 00:48:07,694 THE UNIVERSE IS IN BALANCE, BECAUSE JESUS HAS A STATUE OF A MIDDLE-CLASS AMERICAN HYPOCRITE 1306 00:48:07,718 --> 00:48:09,196 BECAUSE JESUS HAS A STATUE OF A MIDDLE-CLASS AMERICAN HYPOCRITE ON HIS DASHBOARD, SO IT'S NICE, 1307 00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:09,796 MIDDLE-CLASS AMERICAN HYPOCRITE ON HIS DASHBOARD, SO IT'S NICE, YEAH. 1308 00:48:09,820 --> 00:48:11,765 ON HIS DASHBOARD, SO IT'S NICE, YEAH. THINGS WORK OUT WELL. 1309 00:48:11,789 --> 00:48:13,300 YEAH. THINGS WORK OUT WELL. BUT WE ARE SO CONCEITED ABOUT 1310 00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:14,835 THINGS WORK OUT WELL. BUT WE ARE SO CONCEITED ABOUT THIS GOD CONCEPT THAT WE'LL GO 1311 00:48:14,859 --> 00:48:16,403 BUT WE ARE SO CONCEITED ABOUT THIS GOD CONCEPT THAT WE'LL GO AROUND DESCRIBING HIM TO EACH 1312 00:48:16,427 --> 00:48:16,904 THIS GOD CONCEPT THAT WE'LL GO AROUND DESCRIBING HIM TO EACH OTHER. 1313 00:48:16,928 --> 00:48:18,105 AROUND DESCRIBING HIM TO EACH OTHER. I MEAN, WE SAY, "HE'S INFINITE, 1314 00:48:18,129 --> 00:48:19,373 OTHER. I MEAN, WE SAY, "HE'S INFINITE, AND WE CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND HIM, 1315 00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:20,574 I MEAN, WE SAY, "HE'S INFINITE, AND WE CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND HIM, BUT I'LL DESCRIBE HIM FOR YOU." 1316 00:48:20,598 --> 00:48:21,075 AND WE CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND HIM, BUT I'LL DESCRIBE HIM FOR YOU." "WHAT?" 1317 00:48:21,099 --> 00:48:22,442 BUT I'LL DESCRIBE HIM FOR YOU." "WHAT?" "WELL, HERE'S WHAT HE'S LIKE. 1318 00:48:22,466 --> 00:48:24,979 "WHAT?" "WELL, HERE'S WHAT HE'S LIKE. FIRST OF ALL... FIRST OF ALL, HE 1319 00:48:25,003 --> 00:48:26,480 "WELL, HERE'S WHAT HE'S LIKE. FIRST OF ALL... FIRST OF ALL, HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. 1320 00:48:26,504 --> 00:48:27,714 FIRST OF ALL... FIRST OF ALL, HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. HE KNOWS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. 1321 00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:28,749 KNOWS EVERYTHING. HE KNOWS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M 1322 00:48:28,773 --> 00:48:30,017 HE KNOWS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT... HE KNOWS WHAT I 1323 00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,518 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT... HE KNOWS WHAT I MEAN. 1324 00:48:31,542 --> 00:48:34,088 TALKING ABOUT... HE KNOWS WHAT I MEAN. SECONDLY, HE NEVER STARTED, AND 1325 00:48:34,112 --> 00:48:35,956 MEAN. SECONDLY, HE NEVER STARTED, AND HE'S NEVER GONNA END. 1326 00:48:35,980 --> 00:48:38,458 SECONDLY, HE NEVER STARTED, AND HE'S NEVER GONNA END. AND THIRD, HE IS ALL-POWERFUL. 1327 00:48:38,482 --> 00:48:39,493 HE'S NEVER GONNA END. AND THIRD, HE IS ALL-POWERFUL. HE CAN DO ANYTHING. 1328 00:48:39,517 --> 00:48:41,061 AND THIRD, HE IS ALL-POWERFUL. HE CAN DO ANYTHING. HE CAN THROW A CAR RIGHT OVER A 1329 00:48:41,085 --> 00:48:44,798 HE CAN DO ANYTHING. HE CAN THROW A CAR RIGHT OVER A WALL. 1330 00:48:44,822 --> 00:48:45,799 HE CAN THROW A CAR RIGHT OVER A WALL. HE'S JUST LIKE US. 1331 00:48:45,823 --> 00:48:46,700 WALL. HE'S JUST LIKE US. HE'S A COOL GUY. 1332 00:48:46,724 --> 00:48:48,068 HE'S JUST LIKE US. HE'S A COOL GUY. THAT'S ALL GOD... HE'S A COOL 1333 00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:48,602 HE'S A COOL GUY. THAT'S ALL GOD... HE'S A COOL GUY." 1334 00:48:48,626 --> 00:48:49,603 THAT'S ALL GOD... HE'S A COOL GUY." THAT'S WHAT ALL THE RELIGIONS 1335 00:48:49,627 --> 00:48:50,604 GUY." THAT'S WHAT ALL THE RELIGIONS TOLD US... HE'S LIKE US. 1336 00:48:50,628 --> 00:48:51,105 THAT'S WHAT ALL THE RELIGIONS TOLD US... HE'S LIKE US. HE'S US. 1337 00:48:51,129 --> 00:48:52,206 TOLD US... HE'S LIKE US. HE'S US. THAT'S WHAT ALL THE BIG ONES... 1338 00:48:52,230 --> 00:48:53,240 HE'S US. THAT'S WHAT ALL THE BIG ONES... ALL THE BIG RELIGIONS SAID, 1339 00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:54,641 THAT'S WHAT ALL THE BIG ONES... ALL THE BIG RELIGIONS SAID, "LOVE YOURSELF, LOVE YOUR GOD, 1340 00:48:54,665 --> 00:48:55,910 ALL THE BIG RELIGIONS SAID, "LOVE YOURSELF, LOVE YOUR GOD, LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR, BECAUSE 1341 00:48:55,934 --> 00:48:57,211 "LOVE YOURSELF, LOVE YOUR GOD, LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR, BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME 1342 00:48:57,235 --> 00:48:57,744 LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR, BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON. 1343 00:48:57,768 --> 00:48:59,246 YOU'RE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON. WE JUST DON'T HAVE UNIFORMS 1344 00:48:59,270 --> 00:49:00,381 PERSON. WE JUST DON'T HAVE UNIFORMS YET... THAT'S ALL." 1345 00:49:00,405 --> 00:49:01,815 WE JUST DON'T HAVE UNIFORMS YET... THAT'S ALL." [LAUGHTER] 1346 00:49:01,839 --> 00:49:03,050 YET... THAT'S ALL." [LAUGHTER] AND WE DO GO FOR THAT, DON'T WE? 1347 00:49:03,074 --> 00:49:03,918 [LAUGHTER] AND WE DO GO FOR THAT, DON'T WE? WE KIND OF BUY THAT. 1348 00:49:03,942 --> 00:49:04,718 AND WE DO GO FOR THAT, DON'T WE? WE KIND OF BUY THAT. "OH, YEAH, I'M GOD. 1349 00:49:04,742 --> 00:49:05,352 WE KIND OF BUY THAT. "OH, YEAH, I'M GOD. SURE, I'M GOD. 1350 00:49:05,376 --> 00:49:06,520 "OH, YEAH, I'M GOD. SURE, I'M GOD. STANLEY IS GOD. 1351 00:49:06,544 --> 00:49:07,621 SURE, I'M GOD. STANLEY IS GOD. ARLENE IS GOD. 1352 00:49:07,645 --> 00:49:08,822 STANLEY IS GOD. ARLENE IS GOD. GOD AND ME ARE ARLENE AND 1353 00:49:08,846 --> 00:49:09,356 ARLENE IS GOD. GOD AND ME ARE ARLENE AND STANLEY." 1354 00:49:09,380 --> 00:49:10,424 GOD AND ME ARE ARLENE AND STANLEY." I MEAN, IT'S A LITTLE 1355 00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:11,792 STANLEY." I MEAN, IT'S A LITTLE COMPLICATED, BUT WE DO KIND OF 1356 00:49:11,816 --> 00:49:12,526 I MEAN, IT'S A LITTLE COMPLICATED, BUT WE DO KIND OF BELIEVE THAT. 1357 00:49:12,550 --> 00:49:14,461 COMPLICATED, BUT WE DO KIND OF BELIEVE THAT. AND IF GOD IS LIKE US, I THINK, 1358 00:49:14,485 --> 00:49:16,430 BELIEVE THAT. AND IF GOD IS LIKE US, I THINK, PERHAPS, HE MIGHT BE SUBJECT TO 1359 00:49:16,454 --> 00:49:17,898 AND IF GOD IS LIKE US, I THINK, PERHAPS, HE MIGHT BE SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS. 1360 00:49:17,922 --> 00:49:20,834 PERHAPS, HE MIGHT BE SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS. I MEAN, SUPERNATURAL, BUT 1361 00:49:20,858 --> 00:49:21,835 PHYSICAL LAWS. I MEAN, SUPERNATURAL, BUT SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS, 1362 00:49:21,859 --> 00:49:22,403 I MEAN, SUPERNATURAL, BUT SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS, POSSIBLY. 1363 00:49:22,427 --> 00:49:23,404 SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS, POSSIBLY. IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT OF 1364 00:49:23,428 --> 00:49:23,904 POSSIBLY. IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT OF THINGS. 1365 00:49:23,928 --> 00:49:25,172 IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT OF THINGS. IT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE ALWAYS 1366 00:49:25,196 --> 00:49:26,240 THINGS. IT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE ALWAYS HAS TO SEND AN ANGEL AS A 1367 00:49:26,264 --> 00:49:27,607 IT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE ALWAYS HAS TO SEND AN ANGEL AS A MESSENGER. 1368 00:49:27,631 --> 00:49:28,642 HAS TO SEND AN ANGEL AS A MESSENGER. I MEAN, IF HE'S GOD, WHY DOESN'T 1369 00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:29,243 MESSENGER. I MEAN, IF HE'S GOD, WHY DOESN'T HE SHOW UP? 1370 00:49:29,267 --> 00:49:30,244 I MEAN, IF HE'S GOD, WHY DOESN'T HE SHOW UP? "HEY, I GOT A MESSAGE FOR YOU. 1371 00:49:30,268 --> 00:49:30,877 HE SHOW UP? "HEY, I GOT A MESSAGE FOR YOU. HERE YOU GO." 1372 00:49:30,901 --> 00:49:31,545 "HEY, I GOT A MESSAGE FOR YOU. HERE YOU GO." [LAUGHTER] 1373 00:49:31,569 --> 00:49:32,346 HERE YOU GO." [LAUGHTER] SENDS AN ANGEL. 1374 00:49:32,370 --> 00:49:33,713 [LAUGHTER] SENDS AN ANGEL. AND THE ANGEL ALWAYS FLIES IN 1375 00:49:33,737 --> 00:49:34,548 SENDS AN ANGEL. AND THE ANGEL ALWAYS FLIES IN OVER A MOUNTAIN. 1376 00:49:34,572 --> 00:49:35,715 AND THE ANGEL ALWAYS FLIES IN OVER A MOUNTAIN. I MEAN, THAT IMPLIES THE 1377 00:49:35,739 --> 00:49:37,084 OVER A MOUNTAIN. I MEAN, THAT IMPLIES THE TRAVERSING OF PHYSICAL SPACE. 1378 00:49:37,108 --> 00:49:38,518 I MEAN, THAT IMPLIES THE TRAVERSING OF PHYSICAL SPACE. SO, POSSIBLY, GOD IS SUBJECT TO 1379 00:49:38,542 --> 00:49:39,286 TRAVERSING OF PHYSICAL SPACE. SO, POSSIBLY, GOD IS SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS. 1380 00:49:39,310 --> 00:49:40,754 SO, POSSIBLY, GOD IS SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS. PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, IF GOD IS SO 1381 00:49:40,778 --> 00:49:42,957 PHYSICAL LAWS. PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, IF GOD IS SO BENEVOLENT, HOW CAN HE LET 1382 00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:44,158 PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, IF GOD IS SO BENEVOLENT, HOW CAN HE LET PEOPLE SUFFER?" 1383 00:49:44,182 --> 00:49:46,160 BENEVOLENT, HOW CAN HE LET PEOPLE SUFFER?" HE CAN'T HELP IT, LADY... 1384 00:49:46,184 --> 00:49:48,162 PEOPLE SUFFER?" HE CAN'T HELP IT, LADY... SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS. 1385 00:49:48,186 --> 00:49:50,730 HE CAN'T HELP IT, LADY... SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS. MAYBE HE'S ONLY A SEMI-SUPREME 1386 00:49:50,754 --> 00:49:53,434 SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS. MAYBE HE'S ONLY A SEMI-SUPREME BEING, BECAUSE HE'S LIKE US, AND 1387 00:49:53,458 --> 00:49:55,135 MAYBE HE'S ONLY A SEMI-SUPREME BEING, BECAUSE HE'S LIKE US, AND WE'RE NOT PERFECT. 1388 00:49:55,159 --> 00:49:57,438 BEING, BECAUSE HE'S LIKE US, AND WE'RE NOT PERFECT. I THINK GOD MAY NOT BE PERFECT. 1389 00:49:57,462 --> 00:49:59,539 WE'RE NOT PERFECT. I THINK GOD MAY NOT BE PERFECT. I THINK HIS WORK SHOWS THAT. 1390 00:49:59,563 --> 00:50:01,075 I THINK GOD MAY NOT BE PERFECT. I THINK HIS WORK SHOWS THAT. [LAUGHTER] 1391 00:50:01,099 --> 00:50:02,242 I THINK HIS WORK SHOWS THAT. [LAUGHTER] TAKE A LOOK AT A MOUNTAIN RANGE. 1392 00:50:02,266 --> 00:50:03,010 [LAUGHTER] TAKE A LOOK AT A MOUNTAIN RANGE. THEY'RE ALL CROOKED. 1393 00:50:03,034 --> 00:50:04,445 TAKE A LOOK AT A MOUNTAIN RANGE. THEY'RE ALL CROOKED. THEY'RE NEVER IN LINE, ALL 1394 00:50:04,469 --> 00:50:05,412 THEY'RE ALL CROOKED. THEY'RE NEVER IN LINE, ALL DIFFERENT SIZES. 1395 00:50:05,436 --> 00:50:06,913 THEY'RE NEVER IN LINE, ALL DIFFERENT SIZES. THERE ARE NO TWO LEAVES THE 1396 00:50:06,937 --> 00:50:07,381 DIFFERENT SIZES. THERE ARE NO TWO LEAVES THE SAME. 1397 00:50:07,405 --> 00:50:08,782 THERE ARE NO TWO LEAVES THE SAME. HE CAN'T EVEN GIVE TWO PEOPLE 1398 00:50:08,806 --> 00:50:09,883 SAME. HE CAN'T EVEN GIVE TWO PEOPLE THE SAME FINGERPRINTS. 1399 00:50:09,907 --> 00:50:11,385 HE CAN'T EVEN GIVE TWO PEOPLE THE SAME FINGERPRINTS. HE'S HAD BILLIONS OF YEARS TO 1400 00:50:11,409 --> 00:50:13,320 THE SAME FINGERPRINTS. HE'S HAD BILLIONS OF YEARS TO WORK ON THIS STUFF. 1401 00:50:13,344 --> 00:50:17,992 HE'S HAD BILLIONS OF YEARS TO WORK ON THIS STUFF. AND EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER MADE 1402 00:50:18,016 --> 00:50:19,460 WORK ON THIS STUFF. AND EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER MADE DIED! 1403 00:50:19,484 --> 00:50:21,495 AND EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER MADE DIED! [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] 1404 00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:25,532 DIED! [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] EVERYTHING SO FAR... SO FAR. 1405 00:50:25,556 --> 00:50:29,003 [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] EVERYTHING SO FAR... SO FAR. WHOA. 1406 00:50:29,027 --> 00:50:30,337 EVERYTHING SO FAR... SO FAR. WHOA. WHERE DID HE GET THIS GREAT 1407 00:50:30,361 --> 00:50:30,971 WHOA. WHERE DID HE GET THIS GREAT REPUTATION? 1408 00:50:30,995 --> 00:50:33,607 WHERE DID HE GET THIS GREAT REPUTATION? HE'S BATTING .000. 1409 00:50:33,631 --> 00:50:35,609 REPUTATION? HE'S BATTING .000. NOW, SOME RELIGIONS... WHICH ARE 1410 00:50:35,633 --> 00:50:37,478 HE'S BATTING .000. NOW, SOME RELIGIONS... WHICH ARE NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH GOD... 1411 00:50:37,502 --> 00:50:38,712 NOW, SOME RELIGIONS... WHICH ARE NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH GOD... SOME RELIGIONS WILL TELL YOU 1412 00:50:38,736 --> 00:50:39,913 NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH GOD... SOME RELIGIONS WILL TELL YOU THAT IT'S QUITE OKAY NOT TO 1413 00:50:39,937 --> 00:50:41,081 SOME RELIGIONS WILL TELL YOU THAT IT'S QUITE OKAY NOT TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE. 1414 00:50:41,105 --> 00:50:42,616 THAT IT'S QUITE OKAY NOT TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE. RELIGION IS A WAY OF RELIEVING 1415 00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:44,118 WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE. RELIGION IS A WAY OF RELIEVING YOURSELF OF ANY RESPONSIBILITY 1416 00:50:44,142 --> 00:50:44,951 RELIGION IS A WAY OF RELIEVING YOURSELF OF ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTS. 1417 00:50:44,975 --> 00:50:47,354 YOURSELF OF ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTS. "IT WAS GOD'S WILL. 1418 00:50:47,378 --> 00:50:48,055 FOR YOUR ACTS. "IT WAS GOD'S WILL. YES, GOD'S WILL. 1419 00:50:48,079 --> 00:50:49,056 "IT WAS GOD'S WILL. YES, GOD'S WILL. OH, I RAN OVER THE KID IN THE 1420 00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:50,124 YES, GOD'S WILL. OH, I RAN OVER THE KID IN THE DRIVEWAY, YES, BUT DON'T LOOK AT 1421 00:50:50,148 --> 00:50:50,557 OH, I RAN OVER THE KID IN THE DRIVEWAY, YES, BUT DON'T LOOK AT ME. 1422 00:50:50,581 --> 00:50:51,525 DRIVEWAY, YES, BUT DON'T LOOK AT ME. [CHUCKLES] 1423 00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:52,526 ME. [CHUCKLES] GOD'S WILL." 1424 00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:53,693 [CHUCKLES] GOD'S WILL." [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] 1425 00:50:53,717 --> 00:50:54,961 GOD'S WILL." [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] CAN YOU SEE A LYNCH MOB GOING, 1426 00:50:54,985 --> 00:50:56,296 [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] CAN YOU SEE A LYNCH MOB GOING, "NOW, LET'S GET THIS GUY... GOD. 1427 00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:57,398 CAN YOU SEE A LYNCH MOB GOING, "NOW, LET'S GET THIS GUY... GOD. THAT'S THE FOURTH KID HE'S 1428 00:50:57,422 --> 00:50:59,266 "NOW, LET'S GET THIS GUY... GOD. THAT'S THE FOURTH KID HE'S KILLED THIS WEEK." 1429 00:50:59,290 --> 00:51:01,835 THAT'S THE FOURTH KID HE'S KILLED THIS WEEK." RELIGION... RELIGION AT BEST... 1430 00:51:01,859 --> 00:51:04,071 KILLED THIS WEEK." RELIGION... RELIGION AT BEST... AT BEST... IS LIKE A LIFT IN 1431 00:51:04,095 --> 00:51:05,072 RELIGION... RELIGION AT BEST... AT BEST... IS LIKE A LIFT IN YOUR SHOE. 1432 00:51:05,096 --> 00:51:06,507 AT BEST... IS LIKE A LIFT IN YOUR SHOE. IF YOU NEED IT FOR A WHILE AND 1433 00:51:06,531 --> 00:51:07,908 YOUR SHOE. IF YOU NEED IT FOR A WHILE AND IT MAKES YOU WALK STRAIGHT AND 1434 00:51:07,932 --> 00:51:09,576 IF YOU NEED IT FOR A WHILE AND IT MAKES YOU WALK STRAIGHT AND FEEL BETTER, FINE, BUT YOU DON'T 1435 00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:11,045 IT MAKES YOU WALK STRAIGHT AND FEEL BETTER, FINE, BUT YOU DON'T NEED IT FOREVER, OR YOU CAN 1436 00:51:11,069 --> 00:51:12,946 FEEL BETTER, FINE, BUT YOU DON'T NEED IT FOREVER, OR YOU CAN BECOME PERMANENTLY DISABLED. 1437 00:51:12,970 --> 00:51:14,415 NEED IT FOREVER, OR YOU CAN BECOME PERMANENTLY DISABLED. RELIGION IS LIKE A LIFT IN THE 1438 00:51:14,439 --> 00:51:14,915 BECOME PERMANENTLY DISABLED. RELIGION IS LIKE A LIFT IN THE SHOE. 1439 00:51:14,939 --> 00:51:16,483 RELIGION IS LIKE A LIFT IN THE SHOE. AND I SAY, JUST DON'T ASK ME TO 1440 00:51:16,507 --> 00:51:18,018 SHOE. AND I SAY, JUST DON'T ASK ME TO WEAR YOUR SHOES, AND LET'S NOT 1441 00:51:18,042 --> 00:51:19,586 AND I SAY, JUST DON'T ASK ME TO WEAR YOUR SHOES, AND LET'S NOT GO DOWN AND NAIL LIFTS ONTO THE 1442 00:51:19,610 --> 00:51:21,221 WEAR YOUR SHOES, AND LET'S NOT GO DOWN AND NAIL LIFTS ONTO THE NATIVES' FEET. 1443 00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:22,222 GO DOWN AND NAIL LIFTS ONTO THE NATIVES' FEET. THANK YOU. 1444 00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:27,127 NATIVES' FEET. THANK YOU. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1445 00:51:27,151 --> 00:51:29,163 THANK YOU. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Announcer: ONCE AGAIN, HERE'S 1446 00:51:29,187 --> 00:51:31,098 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Announcer: ONCE AGAIN, HERE'S BILLY PRESTON WITH HIS NEW HIT 1447 00:51:31,122 --> 00:51:32,866 Announcer: ONCE AGAIN, HERE'S BILLY PRESTON WITH HIS NEW HIT "FANCY LADY." 1448 00:51:32,890 --> 00:51:34,634 BILLY PRESTON WITH HIS NEW HIT "FANCY LADY." [BILLY PRESTON'S "FANCY LADY" 1449 00:51:34,658 --> 00:51:36,592 "FANCY LADY." [BILLY PRESTON'S "FANCY LADY" PLAYS] 1450 00:51:50,173 --> 00:51:56,723 ♪ FANCY LADY IS MASQUERADING ♪ ♪ WITH A HEART THAT NOBODY CAN 1451 00:51:56,747 --> 00:51:58,525 IS MASQUERADING ♪ ♪ WITH A HEART THAT NOBODY CAN SEE ♪ 1452 00:51:58,549 --> 00:52:00,060 ♪ WITH A HEART THAT NOBODY CAN SEE ♪ ♪ TIME IS WASTING THERE ♪ 1453 00:52:00,084 --> 00:52:02,529 SEE ♪ ♪ TIME IS WASTING THERE ♪ ♪ THERE'S NO ESCAPING ♪ 1454 00:52:02,553 --> 00:52:04,398 ♪ TIME IS WASTING THERE ♪ ♪ THERE'S NO ESCAPING ♪ ♪ HOW LONG WILL YOUR SWEET 1455 00:52:04,422 --> 00:52:06,467 ♪ THERE'S NO ESCAPING ♪ ♪ HOW LONG WILL YOUR SWEET PLEASURE BE? ♪ 1456 00:52:06,491 --> 00:52:08,335 ♪ HOW LONG WILL YOUR SWEET PLEASURE BE? ♪ ♪ FANCY LADY, 1457 00:52:08,359 --> 00:52:10,604 PLEASURE BE? ♪ ♪ FANCY LADY, YOU ARE JUST A STRANGER 1458 00:52:10,628 --> 00:52:13,140 ♪ FANCY LADY, YOU ARE JUST A STRANGER TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET 1459 00:52:13,164 --> 00:52:14,774 YOU ARE JUST A STRANGER TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET TO KNOW ♪ 1460 00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:17,377 TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET TO KNOW ♪ ♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL THE BROKEN 1461 00:52:17,401 --> 00:52:18,612 TO KNOW ♪ ♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL THE BROKEN TRACES ♪ 1462 00:52:18,636 --> 00:52:20,947 ♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL THE BROKEN TRACES ♪ ♪ OF THE ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO 1463 00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:22,116 TRACES ♪ ♪ OF THE ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO LET GO ♪ 1464 00:52:22,140 --> 00:52:23,917 ♪ OF THE ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO LET GO ♪ ♪ OH, I GOT LOVE ♪ 1465 00:52:23,941 --> 00:52:26,686 LET GO ♪ ♪ OH, I GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ YOU CAN SAMPLE MY WARES ♪ 1466 00:52:26,710 --> 00:52:27,821 ♪ OH, I GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ YOU CAN SAMPLE MY WARES ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ 1467 00:52:27,845 --> 00:52:29,022 ♪ YOU CAN SAMPLE MY WARES ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪ 1468 00:52:29,046 --> 00:52:30,557 ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ COME ON AND TRY IF YOU 1469 00:52:30,581 --> 00:52:31,091 ♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ COME ON AND TRY IF YOU DARE ♪ 1470 00:52:31,115 --> 00:52:32,126 ♪ COME ON AND TRY IF YOU DARE ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ 1471 00:52:32,150 --> 00:52:32,959 DARE ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪ 1472 00:52:32,983 --> 00:52:34,027 ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪ 1473 00:52:34,051 --> 00:52:35,061 ♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪ ♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES, BABY ♪ 1474 00:52:35,085 --> 00:52:36,363 ♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪ ♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES, BABY ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE, HONEY ♪ 1475 00:52:36,387 --> 00:52:37,764 ♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES, BABY ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE, HONEY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT REAL GOOD LOVE FOR 1476 00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:38,499 ♪ I GOT LOVE, HONEY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT REAL GOOD LOVE FOR SALE ♪ 1477 00:52:38,523 --> 00:52:39,566 ♪ YOU GOT REAL GOOD LOVE FOR SALE ♪ ♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪ 1478 00:52:39,590 --> 00:52:41,101 SALE ♪ ♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪ ♪ FANCY LADY, 1479 00:52:41,125 --> 00:52:42,202 ♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪ ♪ FANCY LADY, WHERE ARE ALL YOUR CHILDREN, 1480 00:52:42,226 --> 00:52:43,170 ♪ FANCY LADY, WHERE ARE ALL YOUR CHILDREN, GIRL ♪ 1481 00:52:43,194 --> 00:52:45,739 WHERE ARE ALL YOUR CHILDREN, GIRL ♪ ♪ WHO WERE BORN TO YOU, SO SWEET 1482 00:52:45,763 --> 00:52:47,274 GIRL ♪ ♪ WHO WERE BORN TO YOU, SO SWEET AND TRUE? ♪ 1483 00:52:47,298 --> 00:52:49,510 ♪ WHO WERE BORN TO YOU, SO SWEET AND TRUE? ♪ ♪ WILL YOU GIVE THEM ALL YOUR 1484 00:52:49,534 --> 00:52:51,378 AND TRUE? ♪ ♪ WILL YOU GIVE THEM ALL YOUR SAD PARADING ♪ 1485 00:52:51,402 --> 00:52:53,447 ♪ WILL YOU GIVE THEM ALL YOUR SAD PARADING ♪ ♪ HAVE THEM DOING THE SAME 1486 00:52:53,471 --> 00:52:55,382 SAD PARADING ♪ ♪ HAVE THEM DOING THE SAME THINGS YOU DO? ♪ 1487 00:52:55,406 --> 00:52:57,651 ♪ HAVE THEM DOING THE SAME THINGS YOU DO? ♪ ♪ THE GREAT CREATOR, HE'S A 1488 00:52:57,675 --> 00:52:59,853 THINGS YOU DO? ♪ ♪ THE GREAT CREATOR, HE'S A LIBERATOR, YES, HE IS ♪ 1489 00:52:59,877 --> 00:53:02,256 ♪ THE GREAT CREATOR, HE'S A LIBERATOR, YES, HE IS ♪ ♪ HE ALWAYS LENDS A HELPING 1490 00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:03,624 LIBERATOR, YES, HE IS ♪ ♪ HE ALWAYS LENDS A HELPING HAND ♪ 1491 00:53:03,648 --> 00:53:05,292 ♪ HE ALWAYS LENDS A HELPING HAND ♪ ♪ FANCY LADY, 1492 00:53:05,316 --> 00:53:07,561 HAND ♪ ♪ FANCY LADY, TIME IS NO WAITER ♪ 1493 00:53:07,585 --> 00:53:09,563 ♪ FANCY LADY, TIME IS NO WAITER ♪ ♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE 1494 00:53:09,587 --> 00:53:11,765 TIME IS NO WAITER ♪ ♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE YOU CAN SAY ♪ 1495 00:53:11,789 --> 00:53:14,309 ♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE YOU CAN SAY ♪ [INSTRUMENTAL SOLO] 1496 00:53:28,538 --> 00:53:34,854 ♪ FANCY LADY, AH, YOU'RE JUST A STRANGER, GIRL, TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET 1497 00:53:34,878 --> 00:53:36,557 YOU'RE JUST A STRANGER, GIRL, TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET TO KNOW ♪ 1498 00:53:36,581 --> 00:53:39,092 TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET TO KNOW ♪ ♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL YOUR BROKEN 1499 00:53:39,116 --> 00:53:40,561 TO KNOW ♪ ♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL YOUR BROKEN TRACES ♪ 1500 00:53:40,585 --> 00:53:42,762 ♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL YOUR BROKEN TRACES ♪ ♪ OF THAT ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO 1501 00:53:42,786 --> 00:53:44,598 TRACES ♪ ♪ OF THAT ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO LET GO ♪ 1502 00:53:44,622 --> 00:53:46,500 ♪ OF THAT ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO LET GO ♪ ♪ FANCY LADY, 1503 00:53:46,524 --> 00:53:48,635 LET GO ♪ ♪ FANCY LADY, HE'S A GREAT CREATOR, GIRL ♪ 1504 00:53:48,659 --> 00:53:50,937 ♪ FANCY LADY, HE'S A GREAT CREATOR, GIRL ♪ ♪ THE LORD IS ALWAYS LENDING A 1505 00:53:50,961 --> 00:53:52,872 HE'S A GREAT CREATOR, GIRL ♪ ♪ THE LORD IS ALWAYS LENDING A HELPING HAND ♪ 1506 00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:54,441 ♪ THE LORD IS ALWAYS LENDING A HELPING HAND ♪ ♪ FANCY LADY, 1507 00:53:54,465 --> 00:53:56,943 HELPING HAND ♪ ♪ FANCY LADY, TIME IS NO WAITER ♪ 1508 00:53:56,967 --> 00:53:58,712 ♪ FANCY LADY, TIME IS NO WAITER ♪ ♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE 1509 00:53:58,736 --> 00:54:00,947 TIME IS NO WAITER ♪ ♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE YOU CAN SAY ♪ 1510 00:54:00,971 --> 00:54:02,882 ♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE YOU CAN SAY ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ 1511 00:54:02,906 --> 00:54:08,589 YOU CAN SAY ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ [DRUM SOLO] 1512 00:54:08,613 --> 00:54:10,390 ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ [DRUM SOLO] ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ 1513 00:54:10,414 --> 00:54:12,593 [DRUM SOLO] ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ ♪ SAMPLE MY WARES ♪ 1514 00:54:12,617 --> 00:54:14,261 ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ ♪ SAMPLE MY WARES ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ 1515 00:54:14,285 --> 00:54:16,863 ♪ SAMPLE MY WARES ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH, TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪ 1516 00:54:16,887 --> 00:54:17,764 ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH, TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ 1517 00:54:17,788 --> 00:54:18,599 ♪ YEAH, TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪ 1518 00:54:18,623 --> 00:54:19,833 ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪ 1519 00:54:19,857 --> 00:54:20,900 ♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪ ♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES ♪ 1520 00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:22,068 ♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪ ♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES ♪ ♪ I GOT TO LOVE, BOY ♪ 1521 00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:23,837 ♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES ♪ ♪ I GOT TO LOVE, BOY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO LOVE ♪ 1522 00:54:23,861 --> 00:54:25,205 ♪ I GOT TO LOVE, BOY ♪ ♪ YOU GOT TO LOVE ♪ ♪ TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪ 1523 00:54:25,229 --> 00:54:26,005 ♪ YOU GOT TO LOVE ♪ ♪ TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪ ♪ I'M A MAN ♪ 1524 00:54:26,029 --> 00:54:27,040 ♪ TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪ ♪ I'M A MAN ♪ ♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪ 1525 00:54:27,064 --> 00:54:28,007 ♪ I'M A MAN ♪ ♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪ ♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪ 1526 00:54:28,031 --> 00:54:29,075 ♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪ ♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪ ♪ SAMPLE MY WARES, BOY ♪ 1527 00:54:29,099 --> 00:54:30,176 ♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪ ♪ SAMPLE MY WARES, BOY ♪ ♪ I WANT YOUR LOVE, BABY, 1528 00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:30,711 ♪ SAMPLE MY WARES, BOY ♪ ♪ I WANT YOUR LOVE, BABY, YEAH ♪ 1529 00:54:30,735 --> 00:54:31,612 ♪ I WANT YOUR LOVE, BABY, YEAH ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ 1530 00:54:31,636 --> 00:54:32,646 YEAH ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ YOU CAN TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪ 1531 00:54:32,670 --> 00:54:34,548 ♪ I GOT LOVE ♪ ♪ YOU CAN TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪ ♪ GIVE IT TO ME, BABY ♪ 1532 00:54:34,572 --> 00:54:35,749 ♪ YOU CAN TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪ ♪ GIVE IT TO ME, BABY ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ 1533 00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:36,583 ♪ GIVE IT TO ME, BABY ♪ ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪ 1534 00:54:36,607 --> 00:54:38,051 ♪ OH, YEAH ♪ ♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ 1535 00:54:38,075 --> 00:54:38,719 ♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪ ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ ♪ I GOT IT ♪ 1536 00:54:38,743 --> 00:54:41,020 ♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪ ♪ I GOT IT ♪ ♪ SAMPLE MY WARES! ♪ 1537 00:54:41,044 --> 00:54:43,204 ♪ I GOT IT ♪ ♪ SAMPLE MY WARES! ♪ [INSTRUMENTAL SOLO] 1538 00:55:02,131 --> 00:55:05,501 ♪ AH! ♪ ♪ AH ♪ 1539 00:55:10,407 --> 00:55:15,344 ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1540 00:55:20,684 --> 00:55:24,998 OH, HONEY, "BOEING BOEING" WITH JERRY LEWIS IS ON IN 10 MINUTES. 1541 00:55:25,022 --> 00:55:26,333 WITH JERRY LEWIS IS ON IN 10 MINUTES. AW, SWEETHEART, I'M TIRED. 1542 00:55:26,357 --> 00:55:27,567 MINUTES. AW, SWEETHEART, I'M TIRED. I THINK I'M JUST GONNA HAVE 1543 00:55:27,591 --> 00:55:29,002 AW, SWEETHEART, I'M TIRED. I THINK I'M JUST GONNA HAVE ANOTHER GLASS OF DIET ROOT BEER 1544 00:55:29,026 --> 00:55:29,969 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA HAVE ANOTHER GLASS OF DIET ROOT BEER AND GO TO BED, OKAY? 1545 00:55:29,993 --> 00:55:30,870 ANOTHER GLASS OF DIET ROOT BEER AND GO TO BED, OKAY? [GLASS SHATTERS] 1546 00:55:30,894 --> 00:55:31,571 AND GO TO BED, OKAY? [GLASS SHATTERS] ALL RIGHT. 1547 00:55:31,595 --> 00:55:32,406 [GLASS SHATTERS] ALL RIGHT. WHAT WAS THAT?! 1548 00:55:32,430 --> 00:55:33,139 ALL RIGHT. WHAT WAS THAT?! WHAT'S GOING... 1549 00:55:33,163 --> 00:55:33,840 WHAT WAS THAT?! WHAT'S GOING... HI, THERE! 1550 00:55:33,864 --> 00:55:35,008 WHAT'S GOING... HI, THERE! PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED. 1551 00:55:35,032 --> 00:55:36,410 HI, THERE! PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED. THIS IS ONLY A SIMULATED ASSAULT 1552 00:55:36,434 --> 00:55:37,110 PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED. THIS IS ONLY A SIMULATED ASSAULT AND BURGLARY. 1553 00:55:37,134 --> 00:55:38,412 THIS IS ONLY A SIMULATED ASSAULT AND BURGLARY. REPEAT... THIS IS A SIMULATED 1554 00:55:38,436 --> 00:55:39,879 AND BURGLARY. REPEAT... THIS IS A SIMULATED ASSAULT AND BURGLARY. 1555 00:55:39,903 --> 00:55:40,980 REPEAT... THIS IS A SIMULATED ASSAULT AND BURGLARY. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU AT ANY 1556 00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:41,281 ASSAULT AND BURGLARY. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU AT ANY TIME. 1557 00:55:41,305 --> 00:55:42,048 THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU AT ANY TIME. IN FACT, IT JUST HAS. 1558 00:55:42,072 --> 00:55:43,016 TIME. IN FACT, IT JUST HAS. HONEY, CALL THE POLICE! 1559 00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:43,550 IN FACT, IT JUST HAS. HONEY, CALL THE POLICE! DO SOMETHING! 1560 00:55:43,574 --> 00:55:44,685 HONEY, CALL THE POLICE! DO SOMETHING! NO, NO, NO, NO. 1561 00:55:44,709 --> 00:55:45,985 DO SOMETHING! NO, NO, NO, NO. DON'T CALL THE POLICE. 1562 00:55:46,009 --> 00:55:47,020 NO, NO, NO, NO. DON'T CALL THE POLICE. I AM THE POLICE. 1563 00:55:47,044 --> 00:55:48,188 DON'T CALL THE POLICE. I AM THE POLICE. I MIGHT BE, ANYWAY. 1564 00:55:48,212 --> 00:55:49,589 I AM THE POLICE. I MIGHT BE, ANYWAY. HI, MR. AND MRS. KROMER. 1565 00:55:49,613 --> 00:55:51,090 I MIGHT BE, ANYWAY. HI, MR. AND MRS. KROMER. MY NAME IS KENNY VORSTRATHER. 1566 00:55:51,114 --> 00:55:52,592 HI, MR. AND MRS. KROMER. MY NAME IS KENNY VORSTRATHER. I'M PRESIDENT OF TROJAN HORSE 1567 00:55:52,616 --> 00:55:55,462 MY NAME IS KENNY VORSTRATHER. I'M PRESIDENT OF TROJAN HORSE HOME SECURITY. 1568 00:55:55,486 --> 00:55:56,697 I'M PRESIDENT OF TROJAN HORSE HOME SECURITY. I BROKE INTO YOUR HOME TONIGHT 1569 00:55:56,721 --> 00:55:57,964 HOME SECURITY. I BROKE INTO YOUR HOME TONIGHT TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW VULNERABLE 1570 00:55:57,988 --> 00:55:59,032 I BROKE INTO YOUR HOME TONIGHT TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW VULNERABLE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE TO 1571 00:55:59,056 --> 00:56:00,166 TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW VULNERABLE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE TO CRIME. 1572 00:56:00,190 --> 00:56:01,468 YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE TO CRIME. I SELL A COMPLETE RANGE OF 1573 00:56:01,492 --> 00:56:02,669 CRIME. I SELL A COMPLETE RANGE OF HOME-AND-GARDEN SECURITY 1574 00:56:02,693 --> 00:56:03,203 I SELL A COMPLETE RANGE OF HOME-AND-GARDEN SECURITY DEVICES. 1575 00:56:03,227 --> 00:56:04,604 HOME-AND-GARDEN SECURITY DEVICES. YOU MIGHT SAY SECURITY IS MY 1576 00:56:04,628 --> 00:56:05,004 DEVICES. YOU MIGHT SAY SECURITY IS MY LIFE. 1577 00:56:05,028 --> 00:56:06,506 YOU MIGHT SAY SECURITY IS MY LIFE. I'M FULLY QUALIFIED TO MAKE YOU 1578 00:56:06,530 --> 00:56:07,207 LIFE. I'M FULLY QUALIFIED TO MAKE YOU FEEL SECURE. 1579 00:56:07,231 --> 00:56:08,642 I'M FULLY QUALIFIED TO MAKE YOU FEEL SECURE. I USED TO BE AN ARMORED-TRUCK 1580 00:56:08,666 --> 00:56:09,843 FEEL SECURE. I USED TO BE AN ARMORED-TRUCK MECHANIC IN LEEBER CITY, 1581 00:56:09,867 --> 00:56:10,410 I USED TO BE AN ARMORED-TRUCK MECHANIC IN LEEBER CITY, ARIZONA. 1582 00:56:10,434 --> 00:56:11,845 MECHANIC IN LEEBER CITY, ARIZONA. AND, YOU, MR. KROMER, HAVE THE 1583 00:56:11,869 --> 00:56:13,413 ARIZONA. AND, YOU, MR. KROMER, HAVE THE PERFECT RIGHT TO THROW ME OUT OF 1584 00:56:13,437 --> 00:56:14,781 AND, YOU, MR. KROMER, HAVE THE PERFECT RIGHT TO THROW ME OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, IF YOU THINK YOU 1585 00:56:14,805 --> 00:56:16,817 PERFECT RIGHT TO THROW ME OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN. 1586 00:56:16,841 --> 00:56:18,318 YOUR HOUSE, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN. IF I THINK I CAN?! 1587 00:56:18,342 --> 00:56:19,319 CAN. IF I THINK I CAN?! YOU'RE A PRETTY HEFTY GUY, 1588 00:56:19,343 --> 00:56:19,919 IF I THINK I CAN?! YOU'RE A PRETTY HEFTY GUY, AREN'T YOU? 1589 00:56:19,943 --> 00:56:20,954 YOU'RE A PRETTY HEFTY GUY, AREN'T YOU? FREEZE, MR. KROMER, OR ELSE 1590 00:56:20,978 --> 00:56:22,889 AREN'T YOU? FREEZE, MR. KROMER, OR ELSE THE LITTLE LADY GETS CRIPPLED! 1591 00:56:22,913 --> 00:56:24,123 FREEZE, MR. KROMER, OR ELSE THE LITTLE LADY GETS CRIPPLED! [LAUGHS] 1592 00:56:24,147 --> 00:56:24,924 THE LITTLE LADY GETS CRIPPLED! [LAUGHS] DON'T WORRY, FOLKS. 1593 00:56:24,948 --> 00:56:25,726 [LAUGHS] DON'T WORRY, FOLKS. HE WON'T HURT YOU. 1594 00:56:25,750 --> 00:56:26,593 DON'T WORRY, FOLKS. HE WON'T HURT YOU. THIS IS MY ASSISTANT. 1595 00:56:26,617 --> 00:56:27,527 HE WON'T HURT YOU. THIS IS MY ASSISTANT. HE'S VICE PRESIDENT OF 1596 00:56:27,551 --> 00:56:28,729 THIS IS MY ASSISTANT. HE'S VICE PRESIDENT OF TROJAN HORSE SECURITY. 1597 00:56:28,753 --> 00:56:31,531 HE'S VICE PRESIDENT OF TROJAN HORSE SECURITY. HIS NAME IS HARVEY MORGOMASTER. 1598 00:56:31,555 --> 00:56:32,999 TROJAN HORSE SECURITY. HIS NAME IS HARVEY MORGOMASTER. AND HARVEY, LIKE MYSELF, IS A 1599 00:56:33,023 --> 00:56:33,933 HIS NAME IS HARVEY MORGOMASTER. AND HARVEY, LIKE MYSELF, IS A SECURITY EXPERT. 1600 00:56:33,957 --> 00:56:35,268 AND HARVEY, LIKE MYSELF, IS A SECURITY EXPERT. HE WORKED IN THE ARMY AS A 1601 00:56:35,292 --> 00:56:36,837 SECURITY EXPERT. HE WORKED IN THE ARMY AS A CAMOUFLAGE ARTIST, PAINTING THE 1602 00:56:36,861 --> 00:56:39,138 HE WORKED IN THE ARMY AS A CAMOUFLAGE ARTIST, PAINTING THE INSIDE OF PAYROLL VAULTS. 1603 00:56:39,162 --> 00:56:40,607 CAMOUFLAGE ARTIST, PAINTING THE INSIDE OF PAYROLL VAULTS. MR. AND MRS. KROMER, WE OFFER A 1604 00:56:40,631 --> 00:56:42,008 INSIDE OF PAYROLL VAULTS. MR. AND MRS. KROMER, WE OFFER A TOTAL-SECURITY PROTECTION PLAN 1605 00:56:42,032 --> 00:56:43,477 MR. AND MRS. KROMER, WE OFFER A TOTAL-SECURITY PROTECTION PLAN FOR YOUR FAMILY AND HOME... FOR 1606 00:56:43,501 --> 00:56:45,412 TOTAL-SECURITY PROTECTION PLAN FOR YOUR FAMILY AND HOME... FOR INSTANCE, THE TPFLM SYSTEM. 1607 00:56:45,436 --> 00:56:46,713 FOR YOUR FAMILY AND HOME... FOR INSTANCE, THE TPFLM SYSTEM. TPFLM? 1608 00:56:46,737 --> 00:56:47,681 INSTANCE, THE TPFLM SYSTEM. TPFLM? TACTICALLY POSITIONED 1609 00:56:47,705 --> 00:56:49,182 TPFLM? TACTICALLY POSITIONED FRONT-LAWN MINES. 1610 00:56:49,206 --> 00:56:51,017 TACTICALLY POSITIONED FRONT-LAWN MINES. OR... HOW ABOUT THESE REC-ROOM 1611 00:56:51,041 --> 00:56:52,986 FRONT-LAWN MINES. OR... HOW ABOUT THESE REC-ROOM SEARCHLIGHTS, COLOR-COORDINATED 1612 00:56:53,010 --> 00:56:54,821 OR... HOW ABOUT THESE REC-ROOM SEARCHLIGHTS, COLOR-COORDINATED FOR FASHIONABLE SURVEILLANCE? 1613 00:56:54,845 --> 00:56:56,590 SEARCHLIGHTS, COLOR-COORDINATED FOR FASHIONABLE SURVEILLANCE? AND... FOR TOTAL PROTECTION IN 1614 00:56:56,614 --> 00:56:58,157 FOR FASHIONABLE SURVEILLANCE? AND... FOR TOTAL PROTECTION IN THE BATHROOM, TOILET-BOWL 1615 00:56:58,181 --> 00:57:00,527 AND... FOR TOTAL PROTECTION IN THE BATHROOM, TOILET-BOWL PIRANHA. 1616 00:57:00,551 --> 00:57:02,061 THE BATHROOM, TOILET-BOWL PIRANHA. IT'S A TOOTHY SURPRISE FOR THE 1617 00:57:02,085 --> 00:57:03,363 PIRANHA. IT'S A TOOTHY SURPRISE FOR THE THIEF WHO CRAVES RELIEF, 1618 00:57:03,387 --> 00:57:04,765 IT'S A TOOTHY SURPRISE FOR THE THIEF WHO CRAVES RELIEF, MR. KROMER. 1619 00:57:04,789 --> 00:57:06,032 THIEF WHO CRAVES RELIEF, MR. KROMER. WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. 1620 00:57:06,056 --> 00:57:07,467 MR. KROMER. WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. IF WE HAVE OUR... OUR LAWN 1621 00:57:07,491 --> 00:57:08,935 WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. IF WE HAVE OUR... OUR LAWN MINED, WHAT DO WE NEED THIS 1622 00:57:08,959 --> 00:57:10,404 IF WE HAVE OUR... OUR LAWN MINED, WHAT DO WE NEED THIS STUFF INSIDE THE HOUSE FOR? 1623 00:57:10,428 --> 00:57:13,339 MINED, WHAT DO WE NEED THIS STUFF INSIDE THE HOUSE FOR? OKAY. OKAY. 1624 00:57:13,363 --> 00:57:14,908 STUFF INSIDE THE HOUSE FOR? OKAY. OKAY. THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION. 1625 00:57:14,932 --> 00:57:16,209 OKAY. OKAY. THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION. I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION 1626 00:57:16,233 --> 00:57:17,343 THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION. I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION NOW. 1627 00:57:17,367 --> 00:57:18,879 I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION NOW. IN THE EVENT OF A RADIOACTIVE 1628 00:57:18,903 --> 00:57:20,447 NOW. IN THE EVENT OF A RADIOACTIVE FIRESTORM, HOW SECURE ARE YOUR 1629 00:57:20,471 --> 00:57:21,147 IN THE EVENT OF A RADIOACTIVE FIRESTORM, HOW SECURE ARE YOUR FOODSTUFFS? 1630 00:57:21,171 --> 00:57:23,750 FIRESTORM, HOW SECURE ARE YOUR FOODSTUFFS? OH, WE HAVE A FRIDGE. 1631 00:57:23,774 --> 00:57:25,419 FOODSTUFFS? OH, WE HAVE A FRIDGE. OKAY. I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO 1632 00:57:25,443 --> 00:57:26,553 OH, WE HAVE A FRIDGE. OKAY. I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO HELP ME IN A SMALL 1633 00:57:26,577 --> 00:57:28,021 OKAY. I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO HELP ME IN A SMALL DEMONSTRATION OF SECURITY 1634 00:57:28,045 --> 00:57:28,722 HELP ME IN A SMALL DEMONSTRATION OF SECURITY TECHNIQUE. 1635 00:57:28,746 --> 00:57:30,156 DEMONSTRATION OF SECURITY TECHNIQUE. IF YOU COULD GO INTO YOUR 1636 00:57:30,180 --> 00:57:31,892 TECHNIQUE. IF YOU COULD GO INTO YOUR KITCHEN NOW AND GET ME A TOMATO. 1637 00:57:31,916 --> 00:57:32,692 IF YOU COULD GO INTO YOUR KITCHEN NOW AND GET ME A TOMATO. TOMATO? 1638 00:57:32,716 --> 00:57:34,160 KITCHEN NOW AND GET ME A TOMATO. TOMATO? YEAH, JUST A COMMON HOUSEHOLD 1639 00:57:34,184 --> 00:57:35,595 TOMATO? YEAH, JUST A COMMON HOUSEHOLD TOMATO... GREEN, RED... I DON'T 1640 00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:37,397 YEAH, JUST A COMMON HOUSEHOLD TOMATO... GREEN, RED... I DON'T CARE... RIPE, UNRIPE... 1641 00:57:37,421 --> 00:57:39,800 TOMATO... GREEN, RED... I DON'T CARE... RIPE, UNRIPE... OKAY. 1642 00:57:39,824 --> 00:57:41,601 CARE... RIPE, UNRIPE... OKAY. AAH! AAH! AAH! 1643 00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:42,836 OKAY. AAH! AAH! AAH! SEE HOW FRIGHTENING THAT WAS, 1644 00:57:42,860 --> 00:57:43,870 AAH! AAH! AAH! SEE HOW FRIGHTENING THAT WAS, HOW EFFECTIVE THAT WAS IN 1645 00:57:43,894 --> 00:57:44,471 SEE HOW FRIGHTENING THAT WAS, HOW EFFECTIVE THAT WAS IN STOPPING YOU? 1646 00:57:44,495 --> 00:57:45,371 HOW EFFECTIVE THAT WAS IN STOPPING YOU? RELAX. JUST BLANKS. 1647 00:57:45,395 --> 00:57:46,339 STOPPING YOU? RELAX. JUST BLANKS. JUST A DEMONSTRATION. 1648 00:57:46,363 --> 00:57:49,443 RELAX. JUST BLANKS. JUST A DEMONSTRATION. SIT DOWN. 1649 00:57:49,467 --> 00:57:50,977 JUST A DEMONSTRATION. SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN. 1650 00:57:51,001 --> 00:57:52,946 SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN. HERE. HANG ONTO THIS CHUNK. 1651 00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:54,180 SIT DOWN. HERE. HANG ONTO THIS CHUNK. FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT? 1652 00:57:54,204 --> 00:57:55,348 HERE. HANG ONTO THIS CHUNK. FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT? I WANT TO TALK TO YOU, 1653 00:57:55,372 --> 00:57:56,082 FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT? I WANT TO TALK TO YOU, MRS. KROMER. 1654 00:57:56,106 --> 00:57:57,551 I WANT TO TALK TO YOU, MRS. KROMER. MY BRIEFCASE, PLEASE, HARVEY. 1655 00:57:57,575 --> 00:57:59,152 MRS. KROMER. MY BRIEFCASE, PLEASE, HARVEY. MRS. KROMER, SAY A CRIMINAL 1656 00:57:59,176 --> 00:58:00,821 MY BRIEFCASE, PLEASE, HARVEY. MRS. KROMER, SAY A CRIMINAL ENTERED YOUR KITCHEN WITH THE 1657 00:58:00,845 --> 00:58:02,556 MRS. KROMER, SAY A CRIMINAL ENTERED YOUR KITCHEN WITH THE INTENT OF PREPARING AN ILLICIT 1658 00:58:02,580 --> 00:58:03,490 ENTERED YOUR KITCHEN WITH THE INTENT OF PREPARING AN ILLICIT PIECE OF TOAST. 1659 00:58:03,514 --> 00:58:04,190 INTENT OF PREPARING AN ILLICIT PIECE OF TOAST. TOAST? 1660 00:58:04,214 --> 00:58:05,291 PIECE OF TOAST. TOAST? TOAST. 1661 00:58:05,315 --> 00:58:07,093 TOAST? TOAST. ONLY WE OFFER THE CRISPO-CRUST 1662 00:58:07,117 --> 00:58:08,862 TOAST. ONLY WE OFFER THE CRISPO-CRUST SELF-DETONATING FRAGMENTATION 1663 00:58:08,886 --> 00:58:09,896 ONLY WE OFFER THE CRISPO-CRUST SELF-DETONATING FRAGMENTATION TOASTER... 1664 00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,866 SELF-DETONATING FRAGMENTATION TOASTER... OR THIS HANDY .357 MAGNUM 1665 00:58:12,890 --> 00:58:13,700 TOASTER... OR THIS HANDY .357 MAGNUM MIXMASTER. 1666 00:58:13,724 --> 00:58:15,201 OR THIS HANDY .357 MAGNUM MIXMASTER. COMES IN THE AVOCADO GREEN? 1667 00:58:15,225 --> 00:58:16,503 MIXMASTER. COMES IN THE AVOCADO GREEN? YES, AND HARVEST GOLD. 1668 00:58:16,527 --> 00:58:17,170 COMES IN THE AVOCADO GREEN? YES, AND HARVEST GOLD. LOVELY. 1669 00:58:17,194 --> 00:58:18,237 YES, AND HARVEST GOLD. LOVELY. HERE WE HAVE THE 1670 00:58:18,261 --> 00:58:19,673 LOVELY. HERE WE HAVE THE SANDWICH-SENSITIVE HOT-PLATE 1671 00:58:19,697 --> 00:58:20,273 HERE WE HAVE THE SANDWICH-SENSITIVE HOT-PLATE LASER. 1672 00:58:20,297 --> 00:58:21,541 SANDWICH-SENSITIVE HOT-PLATE LASER. OH, VERY NICE. 1673 00:58:21,565 --> 00:58:22,642 LASER. OH, VERY NICE. I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION, 1674 00:58:22,666 --> 00:58:23,209 OH, VERY NICE. I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION, MR. KROMER. 1675 00:58:23,233 --> 00:58:24,277 I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION, MR. KROMER. I WANT YOU TO ANSWER ME QUITE 1676 00:58:24,301 --> 00:58:25,979 MR. KROMER. I WANT YOU TO ANSWER ME QUITE HONESTLY. 1677 00:58:26,003 --> 00:58:27,481 I WANT YOU TO ANSWER ME QUITE HONESTLY. WOULD YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO BE 1678 00:58:27,505 --> 00:58:28,915 HONESTLY. WOULD YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN HER OWN 1679 00:58:28,939 --> 00:58:29,483 WOULD YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN HER OWN KITCHEN? 1680 00:58:29,507 --> 00:58:30,717 SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN HER OWN KITCHEN? WHY, NO, OF COURSE NOT. 1681 00:58:30,741 --> 00:58:32,085 KITCHEN? WHY, NO, OF COURSE NOT. MRS. KROMER, WOULD YOU WANT 1682 00:58:32,109 --> 00:58:33,520 WHY, NO, OF COURSE NOT. MRS. KROMER, WOULD YOU WANT TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN YOUR 1683 00:58:33,544 --> 00:58:34,153 MRS. KROMER, WOULD YOU WANT TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN YOUR OWN KITCHEN? 1684 00:58:34,177 --> 00:58:35,555 TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN YOUR OWN KITCHEN? WELL, IT WOULD DEPEND ON WHO 1685 00:58:35,579 --> 00:58:36,189 OWN KITCHEN? WELL, IT WOULD DEPEND ON WHO THE PERSON... 1686 00:58:36,213 --> 00:58:39,860 WELL, IT WOULD DEPEND ON WHO THE PERSON... UH, LOOK, MR. KROMER, HOW 1687 00:58:39,884 --> 00:58:41,260 THE PERSON... UH, LOOK, MR. KROMER, HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY TO KEEP YOUR 1688 00:58:41,284 --> 00:58:42,128 UH, LOOK, MR. KROMER, HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY SAFE? 1689 00:58:42,152 --> 00:58:43,964 MUCH WOULD YOU PAY TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY SAFE? WOULD YOU PAY, SAY, $2 MILLION 1690 00:58:43,988 --> 00:58:44,998 FAMILY SAFE? WOULD YOU PAY, SAY, $2 MILLION IF YOU HAD IT? 1691 00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:45,966 WOULD YOU PAY, SAY, $2 MILLION IF YOU HAD IT? WELL, YEAH. 1692 00:58:45,990 --> 00:58:47,166 IF YOU HAD IT? WELL, YEAH. IF I HAD IT, YEAH. 1693 00:58:47,190 --> 00:58:48,635 WELL, YEAH. IF I HAD IT, YEAH. OR $1 MILLION IF YOU HAD IT? 1694 00:58:48,659 --> 00:58:49,970 IF I HAD IT, YEAH. OR $1 MILLION IF YOU HAD IT? SURE. IF I HAD A MILLION, 1695 00:58:49,994 --> 00:58:50,637 OR $1 MILLION IF YOU HAD IT? SURE. IF I HAD A MILLION, YEAH, SURE. 1696 00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:52,038 SURE. IF I HAD A MILLION, YEAH, SURE. HAVE YOU GOT $499.99? 1697 00:58:52,062 --> 00:58:53,306 YEAH, SURE. HAVE YOU GOT $499.99? HONEY, WE WERE SAVING THAT 1698 00:58:53,330 --> 00:58:53,840 HAVE YOU GOT $499.99? HONEY, WE WERE SAVING THAT MONEY. 1699 00:58:53,864 --> 00:58:54,508 HONEY, WE WERE SAVING THAT MONEY. WE WERE? 1700 00:58:54,532 --> 00:58:55,876 MONEY. WE WERE? I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW HOW 1701 00:58:55,900 --> 00:58:57,243 WE WERE? I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW HOW UNSAFE YOUR FAMILY REALLY IS. 1702 00:58:57,267 --> 00:58:58,845 I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW HOW UNSAFE YOUR FAMILY REALLY IS. FOR INSTANCE, WHERE'S YOUR 1703 00:58:58,869 --> 00:58:59,613 UNSAFE YOUR FAMILY REALLY IS. FOR INSTANCE, WHERE'S YOUR SON, UH... 1704 00:58:59,637 --> 00:59:00,380 FOR INSTANCE, WHERE'S YOUR SON, UH... RONNIE. 1705 00:59:00,404 --> 00:59:01,815 SON, UH... RONNIE. RONNIE RIGHT NOW? 1706 00:59:01,839 --> 00:59:03,182 RONNIE. RONNIE RIGHT NOW? WELL, HE'S OUTSIDE, PLAYING 1707 00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:04,417 RONNIE RIGHT NOW? WELL, HE'S OUTSIDE, PLAYING IN THE YARD. 1708 00:59:04,441 --> 00:59:05,084 WELL, HE'S OUTSIDE, PLAYING IN THE YARD. HELLO. 1709 00:59:05,108 --> 00:59:06,152 IN THE YARD. HELLO. FRANK, PUT THE KID ON, WILL YOU? 1710 00:59:06,176 --> 00:59:06,820 HELLO. FRANK, PUT THE KID ON, WILL YOU? WE'LL TAKE IT! 1711 00:59:06,844 --> 00:59:07,420 FRANK, PUT THE KID ON, WILL YOU? WE'LL TAKE IT! WE'LL TAKE IT! 1712 00:59:07,444 --> 00:59:08,722 WE'LL TAKE IT! WE'LL TAKE IT! OKAY, LET THE KID GO. 1713 00:59:08,746 --> 00:59:09,723 WE'LL TAKE IT! OKAY, LET THE KID GO. I'M GLAD YOU DECIDED TO. 1714 00:59:09,747 --> 00:59:10,891 OKAY, LET THE KID GO. I'M GLAD YOU DECIDED TO. YOU'RE GONNA SIGN RIGHT HERE. 1715 00:59:10,915 --> 00:59:12,592 I'M GLAD YOU DECIDED TO. YOU'RE GONNA SIGN RIGHT HERE. WE HAVE THE CONTRACTS DRAWN UP. 1716 00:59:12,616 --> 00:59:14,160 YOU'RE GONNA SIGN RIGHT HERE. WE HAVE THE CONTRACTS DRAWN UP. AS A BONUS TO YOU HERE, WE HAVE 1717 00:59:14,184 --> 00:59:15,662 WE HAVE THE CONTRACTS DRAWN UP. AS A BONUS TO YOU HERE, WE HAVE THE... 1718 00:59:15,686 --> 00:59:18,006 AS A BONUS TO YOU HERE, WE HAVE THE... [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1719 00:59:22,859 --> 00:59:29,709 IN THE DAWN OF CIVILIZATION, LONG BEFORE THE BRONZE AGE, MAN FIRST BEGAN HIS SEARCH FOR THE 1720 00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:33,580 LONG BEFORE THE BRONZE AGE, MAN FIRST BEGAN HIS SEARCH FOR THE CLOSE SHAVE. 1721 00:59:33,604 --> 00:59:36,182 FIRST BEGAN HIS SEARCH FOR THE CLOSE SHAVE. [DOINK!] 1722 00:59:36,206 --> 00:59:37,717 CLOSE SHAVE. [DOINK!] SINCE THEN, MAN HAS BEEN 1723 00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:39,586 [DOINK!] SINCE THEN, MAN HAS BEEN ARDENTLY STRIVING TO DESIGN THE 1724 00:59:39,610 --> 00:59:41,487 SINCE THEN, MAN HAS BEEN ARDENTLY STRIVING TO DESIGN THE PERFECT SHAVING INSTRUMENT, FROM 1725 00:59:41,511 --> 00:59:43,590 ARDENTLY STRIVING TO DESIGN THE PERFECT SHAVING INSTRUMENT, FROM THE STRAIGHT RAZOR TO THE SAFETY 1726 00:59:43,614 --> 00:59:45,491 PERFECT SHAVING INSTRUMENT, FROM THE STRAIGHT RAZOR TO THE SAFETY RAZOR TO THE INJECTOR SYSTEM, 1727 00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:47,126 THE STRAIGHT RAZOR TO THE SAFETY RAZOR TO THE INJECTOR SYSTEM, AND, FINALLY, THE HIGHLY 1728 00:59:47,150 --> 00:59:49,629 RAZOR TO THE INJECTOR SYSTEM, AND, FINALLY, THE HIGHLY ACCLAIMED TWIN-BLADE CARTRIDGE. 1729 00:59:49,653 --> 00:59:52,432 AND, FINALLY, THE HIGHLY ACCLAIMED TWIN-BLADE CARTRIDGE. ALMOST PERFECT, YET NOT QUITE 1730 00:59:52,456 --> 00:59:54,701 ACCLAIMED TWIN-BLADE CARTRIDGE. ALMOST PERFECT, YET NOT QUITE THE SUPERLATIVE GROOM. 1731 00:59:54,725 --> 00:59:57,938 ALMOST PERFECT, YET NOT QUITE THE SUPERLATIVE GROOM. INTRODUCING... THE TRIPLE-TRAC. 1732 00:59:57,962 --> 00:59:58,772 THE SUPERLATIVE GROOM. INTRODUCING... THE TRIPLE-TRAC. [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] 1733 00:59:58,796 --> 01:00:00,440 INTRODUCING... THE TRIPLE-TRAC. [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] NOT JUST TWO BLADES IN ONE 1734 01:00:00,464 --> 01:00:01,641 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] NOT JUST TWO BLADES IN ONE SYSTEM, BUT THREE 1735 01:00:01,665 --> 01:00:02,909 NOT JUST TWO BLADES IN ONE SYSTEM, BUT THREE STAINLESS-PLATINUM, 1736 01:00:02,933 --> 01:00:04,644 SYSTEM, BUT THREE STAINLESS-PLATINUM, TEFLEX-COATED BLADES MELDED 1737 01:00:04,668 --> 01:00:06,580 STAINLESS-PLATINUM, TEFLEX-COATED BLADES MELDED TOGETHER TO FORM ONE INCREDIBLE 1738 01:00:06,604 --> 01:00:08,582 TEFLEX-COATED BLADES MELDED TOGETHER TO FORM ONE INCREDIBLE SHAVING CARTRIDGE, EASILY FITTED 1739 01:00:08,606 --> 01:00:10,817 TOGETHER TO FORM ONE INCREDIBLE SHAVING CARTRIDGE, EASILY FITTED INTO YOUR OLD TWIN-BLADE HOLDER. 1740 01:00:10,841 --> 01:00:12,485 SHAVING CARTRIDGE, EASILY FITTED INTO YOUR OLD TWIN-BLADE HOLDER. TRIPLE-TRAC'S TRIPLE-THREAT 1741 01:00:12,509 --> 01:00:14,120 INTO YOUR OLD TWIN-BLADE HOLDER. TRIPLE-TRAC'S TRIPLE-THREAT CARTRIDGE, WITH MORE CLOSE 1742 01:00:14,144 --> 01:00:16,389 TRIPLE-TRAC'S TRIPLE-THREAT CARTRIDGE, WITH MORE CLOSE SHAVES THAN EVER BEFORE. 1743 01:00:16,413 --> 01:00:18,357 CARTRIDGE, WITH MORE CLOSE SHAVES THAN EVER BEFORE. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS... THE FIRST 1744 01:00:18,381 --> 01:00:19,926 SHAVES THAN EVER BEFORE. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS... THE FIRST BLADE GRABS AT THE WHISKER, 1745 01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:21,661 HERE'S HOW IT WORKS... THE FIRST BLADE GRABS AT THE WHISKER, TUGGING IT AWAY FROM YOUR FACE 1746 01:00:21,685 --> 01:00:23,262 BLADE GRABS AT THE WHISKER, TUGGING IT AWAY FROM YOUR FACE TO PROTECT IT FROM THE SECOND 1747 01:00:23,286 --> 01:00:23,797 TUGGING IT AWAY FROM YOUR FACE TO PROTECT IT FROM THE SECOND BLADE. 1748 01:00:23,821 --> 01:00:25,865 TO PROTECT IT FROM THE SECOND BLADE. BLADE NUMBER TWO CATCHES AND 1749 01:00:25,889 --> 01:00:27,567 BLADE. BLADE NUMBER TWO CATCHES AND DIGS INTO THE STUBBLE BEFORE IT 1750 01:00:27,591 --> 01:00:29,235 BLADE NUMBER TWO CATCHES AND DIGS INTO THE STUBBLE BEFORE IT HAS THE CHANCE TO SNAP BACK AND 1751 01:00:29,259 --> 01:00:30,837 DIGS INTO THE STUBBLE BEFORE IT HAS THE CHANCE TO SNAP BACK AND INJURE YOU, PULLING IT FARTHER 1752 01:00:30,861 --> 01:00:32,472 HAS THE CHANCE TO SNAP BACK AND INJURE YOU, PULLING IT FARTHER OUT SO THAT IT IS NOW READY FOR 1753 01:00:32,496 --> 01:00:33,339 INJURE YOU, PULLING IT FARTHER OUT SO THAT IT IS NOW READY FOR SHEARING. 1754 01:00:33,363 --> 01:00:35,274 OUT SO THAT IT IS NOW READY FOR SHEARING. TRIPLE-TRAC'S THIRD BLADE, A 1755 01:00:35,298 --> 01:00:37,210 SHEARING. TRIPLE-TRAC'S THIRD BLADE, A FINELY HONED BONDED-PLATINUM 1756 01:00:37,234 --> 01:00:38,912 TRIPLE-TRAC'S THIRD BLADE, A FINELY HONED BONDED-PLATINUM INSTRUMENT, CUTS CLEANLY THROUGH 1757 01:00:38,936 --> 01:00:40,614 FINELY HONED BONDED-PLATINUM INSTRUMENT, CUTS CLEANLY THROUGH THE WHISKER AT ITS BASE, LEAVING 1758 01:00:40,638 --> 01:00:41,948 INSTRUMENT, CUTS CLEANLY THROUGH THE WHISKER AT ITS BASE, LEAVING YOUR FACE AS SMOOTH AS A 1759 01:00:41,972 --> 01:00:44,117 THE WHISKER AT ITS BASE, LEAVING YOUR FACE AS SMOOTH AS A BILLIARD BALL. 1760 01:00:44,141 --> 01:00:47,020 YOUR FACE AS SMOOTH AS A BILLIARD BALL. THE TRIPLE-TRAC... BECAUSE 1761 01:00:47,044 --> 01:00:49,022 BILLIARD BALL. THE TRIPLE-TRAC... BECAUSE YOU'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING. 1762 01:00:49,046 --> 01:00:52,158 THE TRIPLE-TRAC... BECAUSE YOU'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] 1763 01:00:52,182 --> 01:00:55,795 YOU'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] YEAH. 1764 01:00:55,819 --> 01:00:57,063 [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] YEAH. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I 1765 01:00:57,087 --> 01:00:58,397 YEAH. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I SURE COULD LISTEN TO JANIS IAN 1766 01:00:58,421 --> 01:00:59,933 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I SURE COULD LISTEN TO JANIS IAN ONE MORE TIME, HUH? 1767 01:00:59,957 --> 01:01:04,537 SURE COULD LISTEN TO JANIS IAN ONE MORE TIME, HUH? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1768 01:01:04,561 --> 01:01:05,939 ONE MORE TIME, HUH? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [JANIS IAN'S "IN THE WINTER" 1769 01:01:05,963 --> 01:01:07,440 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [JANIS IAN'S "IN THE WINTER" PLAYS] 1770 01:01:07,464 --> 01:01:11,344 [JANIS IAN'S "IN THE WINTER" PLAYS] ♪ THE DAYS ARE OKAY ♪ 1771 01:01:11,368 --> 01:01:14,047 [PLAYS] ♪ THE DAYS ARE OKAY ♪ ♪ I WATCH THE TV IN THE 1772 01:01:14,071 --> 01:01:18,051 ♪ THE DAYS ARE OKAY ♪ ♪ I WATCH THE TV IN THE AFTERNOONS ♪ 1773 01:01:18,075 --> 01:01:21,755 ♪ I WATCH THE TV IN THE AFTERNOONS ♪ ♪ IF I GET LONELY, 1774 01:01:21,779 --> 01:01:25,659 AFTERNOONS ♪ ♪ IF I GET LONELY, THE SOUND OF OTHER VOICES, OTHER 1775 01:01:25,683 --> 01:01:29,362 ♪ IF I GET LONELY, THE SOUND OF OTHER VOICES, OTHER ROOMS, ARE NEAR TO ME ♪ 1776 01:01:29,386 --> 01:01:33,266 THE SOUND OF OTHER VOICES, OTHER ROOMS, ARE NEAR TO ME ♪ ♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪ 1777 01:01:33,290 --> 01:01:36,269 ROOMS, ARE NEAR TO ME ♪ ♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪ ♪ THE OPERATOR ♪ 1778 01:01:36,293 --> 01:01:38,104 ♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪ ♪ THE OPERATOR ♪ ♪ SHE TELLS THE TIME ♪ 1779 01:01:38,128 --> 01:01:43,843 ♪ THE OPERATOR ♪ ♪ SHE TELLS THE TIME ♪ ♪ IT'S GOOD FOR A LAUGH ♪ 1780 01:01:43,867 --> 01:01:47,180 ♪ SHE TELLS THE TIME ♪ ♪ IT'S GOOD FOR A LAUGH ♪ ♪ THERE'S ALWAYS RADIO ♪ 1781 01:01:47,204 --> 01:01:50,984 ♪ IT'S GOOD FOR A LAUGH ♪ ♪ THERE'S ALWAYS RADIO ♪ ♪ AND FOR A DIME, I CAN TALK TO 1782 01:01:51,008 --> 01:01:52,251 ♪ THERE'S ALWAYS RADIO ♪ ♪ AND FOR A DIME, I CAN TALK TO GOD ♪ 1783 01:01:52,275 --> 01:01:54,154 ♪ AND FOR A DIME, I CAN TALK TO GOD ♪ ♪ DIAL-A-PRAYER ♪ 1784 01:01:54,178 --> 01:01:55,789 GOD ♪ ♪ DIAL-A-PRAYER ♪ ♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪ 1785 01:01:55,813 --> 01:01:57,691 ♪ DIAL-A-PRAYER ♪ ♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪ ♪ DO YOU CARE? ♪ 1786 01:01:57,715 --> 01:02:01,761 ♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪ ♪ DO YOU CARE? ♪ ♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪ 1787 01:02:01,785 --> 01:02:04,397 ♪ DO YOU CARE? ♪ ♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪ ♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA 1788 01:02:04,421 --> 01:02:07,233 ♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪ ♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪ 1789 01:02:07,257 --> 01:02:10,804 ♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪ ♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪ 1790 01:02:10,828 --> 01:02:13,807 BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪ ♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪ ♪ I AM WISER NOW, YOU KNOW, 1791 01:02:13,831 --> 01:02:16,009 ♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪ ♪ I AM WISER NOW, YOU KNOW, AND STILL AS BIG A FOOL 1792 01:02:16,033 --> 01:02:18,878 ♪ I AM WISER NOW, YOU KNOW, AND STILL AS BIG A FOOL CONCERNING YOU ♪ 1793 01:02:18,902 --> 01:02:22,749 AND STILL AS BIG A FOOL CONCERNING YOU ♪ ♪ I MET YOUR FRIEND ♪ 1794 01:02:22,773 --> 01:02:24,050 CONCERNING YOU ♪ ♪ I MET YOUR FRIEND ♪ ♪ SHE'S VERY NICE ♪ 1795 01:02:24,074 --> 01:02:26,908 ♪ I MET YOUR FRIEND ♪ ♪ SHE'S VERY NICE ♪ ♪ WHAT CAN I SAY? ♪ 1796 01:02:29,979 --> 01:02:37,764 ♪ IT WAS AN ACCIDENT ♪ ♪ I NEVER DREAMED WE'D MEET AGAIN THIS WAY ♪ 1797 01:02:37,788 --> 01:02:41,101 ♪ I NEVER DREAMED WE'D MEET AGAIN THIS WAY ♪ ♪ YOU'RE LOOKING WELL ♪ 1798 01:02:41,125 --> 01:02:45,004 AGAIN THIS WAY ♪ ♪ YOU'RE LOOKING WELL ♪ ♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪ 1799 01:02:45,028 --> 01:02:48,641 ♪ YOU'RE LOOKING WELL ♪ ♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪ ♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME, 1800 01:02:48,665 --> 01:02:50,777 ♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪ ♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME, JUST LIKE A PICTURE ♪ 1801 01:02:50,801 --> 01:02:55,882 ♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME, JUST LIKE A PICTURE ♪ ♪ NO, I LIVE ALONE ♪ 1802 01:02:55,906 --> 01:02:59,585 JUST LIKE A PICTURE ♪ ♪ NO, I LIVE ALONE ♪ ♪ I FOUND IT EASIER ♪ 1803 01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:03,089 ♪ NO, I LIVE ALONE ♪ ♪ I FOUND IT EASIER ♪ ♪ YOU MUST REMEMBER HOW I NEVER 1804 01:03:03,113 --> 01:03:05,925 ♪ I FOUND IT EASIER ♪ ♪ YOU MUST REMEMBER HOW I NEVER LIKED THE PARTY LIFE ♪ 1805 01:03:05,949 --> 01:03:07,761 ♪ YOU MUST REMEMBER HOW I NEVER LIKED THE PARTY LIFE ♪ ♪ UP ALL NIGHT ♪ 1806 01:03:07,785 --> 01:03:09,495 LIKED THE PARTY LIFE ♪ ♪ UP ALL NIGHT ♪ ♪ LOVELY WIFE ♪ 1807 01:03:09,519 --> 01:03:13,833 ♪ UP ALL NIGHT ♪ ♪ LOVELY WIFE ♪ ♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY WIFE ♪ 1808 01:03:13,857 --> 01:03:16,636 ♪ LOVELY WIFE ♪ ♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY WIFE ♪ ♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA 1809 01:03:16,660 --> 01:03:19,739 ♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY WIFE ♪ ♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪ 1810 01:03:19,763 --> 01:03:23,076 ♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪ ♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪ 1811 01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:25,945 BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪ ♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪ ♪ YOU ARE WITH HER NOW, I KNOW ♪ 1812 01:03:25,969 --> 01:03:28,815 ♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪ ♪ YOU ARE WITH HER NOW, I KNOW ♪ ♪ I'LL LIVE ALONE FOREVER ♪ 1813 01:03:28,839 --> 01:03:33,653 ♪ YOU ARE WITH HER NOW, I KNOW ♪ ♪ I'LL LIVE ALONE FOREVER ♪ ♪ NOT TOGETHER NOW ♪ 1814 01:03:33,677 --> 01:03:38,624 ♪ I'LL LIVE ALONE FOREVER ♪ ♪ NOT TOGETHER NOW ♪ ♪ OOOH-OOOOOOH ♪ 1815 01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:44,664 ♪ NOT TOGETHER NOW ♪ ♪ OOOH-OOOOOOH ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] 1816 01:03:44,688 --> 01:03:46,728 ♪ OOOH-OOOOOOH ♪ [FINALE PLAYS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1817 01:04:00,870 --> 01:04:04,951 I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR HAVING SOME LIVE FUN WITH US... YOU AT HOME AND EVERYBODY 1818 01:04:04,975 --> 01:04:05,985 FOR HAVING SOME LIVE FUN WITH US... YOU AT HOME AND EVERYBODY HERE... AND WANT TO THANK ALL 1819 01:04:06,009 --> 01:04:06,886 US... YOU AT HOME AND EVERYBODY HERE... AND WANT TO THANK ALL THE GUESTS, OF COURSE... 1820 01:04:06,910 --> 01:04:08,554 HERE... AND WANT TO THANK ALL THE GUESTS, OF COURSE... JANIS IAN, BILLY PRESTON, 1821 01:04:08,578 --> 01:04:10,656 THE GUESTS, OF COURSE... JANIS IAN, BILLY PRESTON, ALBERT BROOKS, THE MUPPETS, 1822 01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:11,891 JANIS IAN, BILLY PRESTON, ALBERT BROOKS, THE MUPPETS, VALRI BROMFIELD, 1823 01:04:11,915 --> 01:04:13,226 ALBERT BROOKS, THE MUPPETS, VALRI BROMFIELD, ANDY KAUFMAN, THE 1824 01:04:13,250 --> 01:04:15,228 VALRI BROMFIELD, ANDY KAUFMAN, THE NOT-QUITE-READY-FOR-PRIMETIME 1825 01:04:15,252 --> 01:04:16,562 ANDY KAUFMAN, THE NOT-QUITE-READY-FOR-PRIMETIME PLAYERS, AND EVERYONE WHO TOOK 1826 01:04:16,586 --> 01:04:17,263 NOT-QUITE-READY-FOR-PRIMETIME PLAYERS, AND EVERYONE WHO TOOK PART IN THIS. 1827 01:04:17,287 --> 01:04:18,664 PLAYERS, AND EVERYONE WHO TOOK PART IN THIS. AND I WOULD NOT BE SENSIBLE AND 1828 01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:20,033 PART IN THIS. AND I WOULD NOT BE SENSIBLE AND SANE IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU I GOT 1829 01:04:20,057 --> 01:04:21,301 AND I WOULD NOT BE SENSIBLE AND SANE IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU I GOT A BRAND-NEW ALBUM THIS WEEK. 1830 01:04:21,325 --> 01:04:22,302 SANE IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU I GOT A BRAND-NEW ALBUM THIS WEEK. I HOPE YOU'LL SEE IT. 1831 01:04:22,326 --> 01:04:23,769 A BRAND-NEW ALBUM THIS WEEK. I HOPE YOU'LL SEE IT. THANK YOU. BYE-BYE. 1832 01:04:23,793 --> 01:04:25,338 I HOPE YOU'LL SEE IT. THANK YOU. BYE-BYE. [BAND PLAYS] 1833 01:04:25,362 --> 01:04:27,442 THANK YOU. BYE-BYE. [BAND PLAYS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 198494

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