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1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:03,268
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
2
00:00:15,748 --> 00:00:23,100
GOOD EVENING.
GOOD EVENING.
GOOD EVENING.
3
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:28,638
GOOD EVENING.
GOOD EVENING.
GOOD EVENING.
4
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:32,876
GOOD EVENING.
GOOD EVENING.
GOOD EVENING.
5
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,013
GOOD EVENING.
GOOD EVENING.
WELL, LET'S BEGIN.
6
00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:38,248
GOOD EVENING.
WELL, LET'S BEGIN.
REPEAT AFTER ME.
7
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:39,383
WELL, LET'S BEGIN.
REPEAT AFTER ME.
"I WOULD LIKE..."
8
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,384
REPEAT AFTER ME.
"I WOULD LIKE..."
I WOULD LIKE...
9
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:41,385
"I WOULD LIKE..."
I WOULD LIKE...
"TO FEED YOUR
10
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:41,951
I WOULD LIKE...
"TO FEED YOUR
FINGERTIPS..."
11
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,453
"TO FEED YOUR
FINGERTIPS..."
TO FEED YOUR FINGERTIPS...
12
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,321
FINGERTIPS..."
TO FEED YOUR FINGERTIPS...
"TO THE WOLVERINES."
13
00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:47,391
TO FEED YOUR FINGERTIPS...
"TO THE WOLVERINES."
TO THE WOLVERINES.
14
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,359
"TO THE WOLVERINES."
TO THE WOLVERINES.
NEXT... "I AM AFRAID..."
15
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,360
TO THE WOLVERINES.
NEXT... "I AM AFRAID..."
I AM AFRAID...
16
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,361
NEXT... "I AM AFRAID..."
I AM AFRAID...
"WE ARE OUT..."
17
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:51,961
I AM AFRAID...
"WE ARE OUT..."
WE ARE OUT...
18
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:52,829
"WE ARE OUT..."
WE ARE OUT...
"OF BADGERS."
19
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:53,830
WE ARE OUT...
"OF BADGERS."
OF BADGERS.
20
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:54,864
"OF BADGERS."
OF BADGERS.
"WOULD YOU ACCEPT..."
21
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:55,865
OF BADGERS.
"WOULD YOU ACCEPT..."
WOULD YOU ACCEPT...
22
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:56,866
"WOULD YOU ACCEPT..."
WOULD YOU ACCEPT...
"A WOLVERINE..."
23
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:57,734
WOULD YOU ACCEPT...
"A WOLVERINE..."
A WOLVERINE...
24
00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:58,535
"A WOLVERINE..."
A WOLVERINE...
"IN ITS PLACE?"
25
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,138
A WOLVERINE...
"IN ITS PLACE?"
IN ITS PLACE?
26
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:03,507
"IN ITS PLACE?"
IN ITS PLACE?
NEXT... "'HEY!, ' NED EXCLAIMED."
27
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:05,842
IN ITS PLACE?
NEXT... "'HEY!, ' NED EXCLAIMED."
"HEY!, " NED EXCLAIMED.
28
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:06,843
NEXT... "'HEY!, ' NED EXCLAIMED."
"HEY!, " NED EXCLAIMED.
"'LET'S BOIL...'"
29
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:07,677
"HEY!," NED EXCLAIMED.
"'LET'S BOIL...'"
"LET'S BOIL..."
30
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:08,478
"'LET'S BOIL...'"
"LET'S BOIL..."
"'...THE WOLVERINES.'"
31
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,448
"LET'S BOIL..."
"'...THE WOLVERINES.'"
"THE WOLVERINES."
32
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:19,056
"'...THE WOLVERINES.'"
"THE WOLVERINES."
NEXT... [GASPS]
33
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,257
"THE WOLVERINES."
NEXT... [GASPS]
[GASPS]
34
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:28,281
NEXT... [GASPS]
[GASPS]
[LAUGHTER]
35
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:31,301
[GASPS]
[LAUGHTER]
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
36
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,769
[LAUGHTER]
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!
37
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:35,033
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!
[BAND PLAYS]
38
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,973
Announcer: STARRING...
39
00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:16,468
THE NOT-FOR-READY-PRIMETIME
40
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:21,106
PLAYERS...
41
00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:29,374
AND COMEDIANS...
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
GEORGE CARLIN!
42
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,660
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
GEORGE CARLIN!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
43
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:10,200
TALK ABOUT A LIVE SHOW.
WOW.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
44
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,601
WOW.
NICE TO SEE YOU.
WELCOME, AND THANKS FOR JOINING
45
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,403
NICE TO SEE YOU.
WELCOME, AND THANKS FOR JOINING
US LIVE.
46
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,071
WELCOME, AND THANKS FOR JOINING
US LIVE.
KIND OF GLAD THAT WE'RE ON AT
47
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,473
US LIVE.
KIND OF GLAD THAT WE'RE ON AT
NIGHT SO THAT WE'RE NOT
48
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,241
KIND OF GLAD THAT WE'RE ON AT
NIGHT SO THAT WE'RE NOT
COMPETING WITH ALL THE FOOTBALL
49
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,843
NIGHT SO THAT WE'RE NOT
COMPETING WITH ALL THE FOOTBALL
AND BASEBALL GAMES.
50
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,512
COMPETING WITH ALL THE FOOTBALL
AND BASEBALL GAMES.
SO MANY, MAN.
51
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,547
AND BASEBALL GAMES.
SO MANY, MAN.
ALL THE TIME.
52
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:24,681
SO MANY, MAN.
ALL THE TIME.
AND THIS IS THE TIME OF YEAR
53
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,349
ALL THE TIME.
AND THIS IS THE TIME OF YEAR
WHEN THERE'S BOTH, YOU KNOW?
54
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,250
AND THIS IS THE TIME OF YEAR
WHEN THERE'S BOTH, YOU KNOW?
FOOTBALL'S KIND OF NICE.
55
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:28,318
WHEN THERE'S BOTH, YOU KNOW?
FOOTBALL'S KIND OF NICE.
THEY CHANGED IT A LITTLE BIT.
56
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,486
FOOTBALL'S KIND OF NICE.
THEY CHANGED IT A LITTLE BIT.
THEY MOVED THE HASH MARKS IN.
57
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,654
THEY CHANGED IT A LITTLE BIT.
THEY MOVED THE HASH MARKS IN.
GUYS FOUND THEM AND SMOKED THEM
58
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:31,188
THEY MOVED THE HASH MARKS IN.
GUYS FOUND THEM AND SMOKED THEM
ANYWAY.
59
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:34,457
GUYS FOUND THEM AND SMOKED THEM
ANYWAY.
[LAUGHTER]
60
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,159
ANYWAY.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT, YOU KNOW, FOOTBALL WANTS TO
61
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,760
[LAUGHTER]
BUT, YOU KNOW, FOOTBALL WANTS TO
BE THE NUMBER-ONE SPORT,
62
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,262
BUT, YOU KNOW, FOOTBALL WANTS TO
BE THE NUMBER-ONE SPORT,
NATIONAL PASTIME, AND I THINK IT
63
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:40,530
BE THE NUMBER-ONE SPORT,
NATIONAL PASTIME, AND I THINK IT
ALREADY IS, REALLY, BECAUSE
64
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,964
NATIONAL PASTIME, AND I THINK IT
ALREADY IS, REALLY, BECAUSE
FOOTBALL REPRESENTS SOMETHING WE
65
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:42,532
ALREADY IS, REALLY, BECAUSE
FOOTBALL REPRESENTS SOMETHING WE
ARE.
66
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,368
FOOTBALL REPRESENTS SOMETHING WE
ARE.
WE ARE EUROPE JR.
67
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,570
ARE.
WE ARE EUROPE JR.
WHEN YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT,
68
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:47,304
WE ARE EUROPE JR.
WHEN YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT,
WE'RE EUROPE JR.
69
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,572
WHEN YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT,
WE'RE EUROPE JR.
WE PLAY THE EUROPE GAME.
70
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,407
WE'RE EUROPE JR.
WE PLAY THE EUROPE GAME.
WHAT WAS THE EUROPE GAME?
71
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,475
WE PLAY THE EUROPE GAME.
WHAT WAS THE EUROPE GAME?
"LET'S TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY FROM
72
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,143
WHAT WAS THE EUROPE GAME?
"LET'S TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY FROM
THEM!
73
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,378
"LET'S TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY FROM
THEM!
YOU'LL BE THE PINK, WE'LL BE
74
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,813
THEM!
YOU'LL BE THE PINK, WE'LL BE
BLUE, AND THEY'LL BE THE GREEN."
75
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:57,747
YOU'LL BE THE PINK, WE'LL BE
BLUE, AND THEY'LL BE THE GREEN."
GROUND ACQUISITION.
76
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,015
BLUE, AND THEY'LL BE THE GREEN."
GROUND ACQUISITION.
AND THAT'S WHAT FOOTBALL IS.
77
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,250
GROUND ACQUISITION.
AND THAT'S WHAT FOOTBALL IS.
FOOTBALL IS A GROUND-ACQUISITION
78
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:00,817
AND THAT'S WHAT FOOTBALL IS.
FOOTBALL IS A GROUND-ACQUISITION
GAME.
79
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,085
FOOTBALL IS A GROUND-ACQUISITION
GAME.
YOU KNOCK THE CRAP OUT OF 11
80
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,386
GAME.
YOU KNOCK THE CRAP OUT OF 11
GUYS AND TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY
81
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,588
YOU KNOCK THE CRAP OUT OF 11
GUYS AND TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY
FROM THEM.
82
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,089
GUYS AND TAKE THEIR LAND AWAY
FROM THEM.
COURSE, WE ONLY DO IT 10 YARDS
83
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:06,756
FROM THEM.
COURSE, WE ONLY DO IT 10 YARDS
AT A TIME.
84
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,225
COURSE, WE ONLY DO IT 10 YARDS
AT A TIME.
THAT'S THE WAY WE DID IT WITH
85
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,992
AT A TIME.
THAT'S THE WAY WE DID IT WITH
THE INDIANS... LITTLE BY LITTLE.
86
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:12,095
THAT'S THE WAY WE DID IT WITH
THE INDIANS... LITTLE BY LITTLE.
"FIRST DOWN IN OHIO... MIDWEST
87
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,063
THE INDIANS... LITTLE BY LITTLE.
"FIRST DOWN IN OHIO... MIDWEST
TO GO!"
88
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:16,633
"FIRST DOWN IN OHIO... MIDWEST
TO GO!"
I THINK IT'S NOT SURPRISING THAT
89
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,368
TO GO!"
I THINK IT'S NOT SURPRISING THAT
FOOTBALL VIES AND...
90
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,302
I THINK IT'S NOT SURPRISING THAT
FOOTBALL VIES AND...
LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY.
91
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:21,438
FOOTBALL VIES AND...
LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY.
THERE ARE THINGS ABOUT THE WORDS
92
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,106
LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY.
THERE ARE THINGS ABOUT THE WORDS
SURROUNDING FOOTBALL AND
93
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:26,209
THERE ARE THINGS ABOUT THE WORDS
SURROUNDING FOOTBALL AND
BASEBALL WHICH GIVE IT ALL AWAY.
94
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,246
SURROUNDING FOOTBALL AND
BASEBALL WHICH GIVE IT ALL AWAY.
FOOTBALL IS TECHNOLOGICAL.
95
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:32,382
BASEBALL WHICH GIVE IT ALL AWAY.
FOOTBALL IS TECHNOLOGICAL.
BASEBALL IS PASTORAL.
96
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:33,916
FOOTBALL IS TECHNOLOGICAL.
BASEBALL IS PASTORAL.
[LAUGHTER]
97
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,454
BASEBALL IS PASTORAL.
[LAUGHTER]
FOOTBALL IS PLAYED IN A STADIUM.
98
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,723
[LAUGHTER]
FOOTBALL IS PLAYED IN A STADIUM.
BASEBALL IS PLAYED IN A PARK.
99
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,824
FOOTBALL IS PLAYED IN A STADIUM.
BASEBALL IS PLAYED IN A PARK.
[LAUGHTER]
100
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:44,494
BASEBALL IS PLAYED IN A PARK.
[LAUGHTER]
IN FOOTBALL, YOU WEAR A HELMET.
101
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,828
[LAUGHTER]
IN FOOTBALL, YOU WEAR A HELMET.
IN BASEBALL, YOU WEAR A CAP.
102
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:48,531
IN FOOTBALL, YOU WEAR A HELMET.
IN BASEBALL, YOU WEAR A CAP.
[LAUGHTER]
103
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,267
IN BASEBALL, YOU WEAR A CAP.
[LAUGHTER]
FOOTBALL IS PLAYED ON AN
104
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,702
[LAUGHTER]
FOOTBALL IS PLAYED ON AN
ENCLOSED, RECTANGULAR GRID, AND
105
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,904
FOOTBALL IS PLAYED ON AN
ENCLOSED, RECTANGULAR GRID, AND
EVERY ONE OF THEM IS THE SAME
106
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:56,740
ENCLOSED, RECTANGULAR GRID, AND
EVERY ONE OF THEM IS THE SAME
SIZE.
107
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,441
EVERY ONE OF THEM IS THE SAME
SIZE.
BASEBALL IS PLAYED ON AN
108
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,977
SIZE.
BASEBALL IS PLAYED ON AN
EVER-WIDENING ANGLE THAT REACHES
109
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,546
BASEBALL IS PLAYED ON AN
EVER-WIDENING ANGLE THAT REACHES
TO INFINITY, AND EVERY PARK IS
110
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:06,516
EVER-WIDENING ANGLE THAT REACHES
TO INFINITY, AND EVERY PARK IS
DIFFERENT!
111
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:10,687
TO INFINITY, AND EVERY PARK IS
DIFFERENT!
FOOTBALL IS RIGIDLY TIMED.
112
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,221
DIFFERENT!
FOOTBALL IS RIGIDLY TIMED.
BASEBALL HAS NO TIME LIMIT.
113
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,323
FOOTBALL IS RIGIDLY TIMED.
BASEBALL HAS NO TIME LIMIT.
WE DON'T KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA
114
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:13,923
BASEBALL HAS NO TIME LIMIT.
WE DON'T KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA
END!
115
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,358
WE DON'T KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA
END!
[LAUGHTER]
116
00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:16,626
END!
[LAUGHTER]
WE MIGHT EVEN HAVE EXTRA
117
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,795
[LAUGHTER]
WE MIGHT EVEN HAVE EXTRA
INNINGS!
118
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,130
WE MIGHT EVEN HAVE EXTRA
INNINGS!
IN FOOTBALL, YOU GET A PENALTY.
119
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,231
INNINGS!
IN FOOTBALL, YOU GET A PENALTY.
IN BASEBALL, YOU MAKE AN
120
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,199
IN FOOTBALL, YOU GET A PENALTY.
IN BASEBALL, YOU MAKE AN
ERROR... WHOOPS!
121
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,868
IN BASEBALL, YOU MAKE AN
ERROR... WHOOPS!
[LAUGHTER]
122
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,970
ERROR... WHOOPS!
[LAUGHTER]
THE OBJECT IN FOOTBALL IS TO
123
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,139
[LAUGHTER]
THE OBJECT IN FOOTBALL IS TO
MARCH DOWNFIELD AND PENETRATE
124
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,875
THE OBJECT IN FOOTBALL IS TO
MARCH DOWNFIELD AND PENETRATE
ENEMY TERRITORY AND GET INTO
125
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:34,744
MARCH DOWNFIELD AND PENETRATE
ENEMY TERRITORY AND GET INTO
THE END ZONE.
126
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,446
ENEMY TERRITORY AND GET INTO
THE END ZONE.
IN BASEBALL, THE OBJECT IS TO GO
127
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,782
THE END ZONE.
IN BASEBALL, THE OBJECT IS TO GO
HOME!
128
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:41,618
IN BASEBALL, THE OBJECT IS TO GO
HOME!
"I'M GOING HOME!"
129
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,119
HOME!
"I'M GOING HOME!"
AND IN FOOTBALL, THEY HAVE THE
130
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,488
"I'M GOING HOME!"
AND IN FOOTBALL, THEY HAVE THE
CLIP, THE HIT, THE BLOCK, THE
131
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,256
AND IN FOOTBALL, THEY HAVE THE
CLIP, THE HIT, THE BLOCK, THE
TACKLE, THE BLITZ, THE BOMB, THE
132
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,459
CLIP, THE HIT, THE BLOCK, THE
TACKLE, THE BLITZ, THE BOMB, THE
OFFENSE AND THE DEFENSE.
133
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:51,260
TACKLE, THE BLITZ, THE BOMB, THE
OFFENSE AND THE DEFENSE.
IN BASEBALL, THEY HAVE...
134
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:53,095
OFFENSE AND THE DEFENSE.
IN BASEBALL, THEY HAVE...
THE SACRIFICE.
135
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:55,799
IN BASEBALL, THEY HAVE...
THE SACRIFICE.
[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
136
00:06:07,132 --> 00:06:11,481
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
HONEY, I'M HOME!
DADDY!
137
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:12,482
HONEY, I'M HOME!
DADDY!
HEY, PAL!
138
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,916
DADDY!
HEY, PAL!
[LAUGHING]
139
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,586
HEY, PAL!
[LAUGHING]
HOW YOU DOING?
140
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:17,587
[LAUGHING]
HOW YOU DOING?
Announcer: YOU HAVE A LOVELY
141
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:20,022
HOW YOU DOING?
Announcer: YOU HAVE A LOVELY
HOME, A GOOD JOB, SOLID
142
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,725
Announcer: YOU HAVE A LOVELY
HOME, A GOOD JOB, SOLID
INVESTMENTS, A WONDERFUL
143
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,626
HOME, A GOOD JOB, SOLID
INVESTMENTS, A WONDERFUL
FAMILY... EVERYTHING YOU NEED
144
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,194
INVESTMENTS, A WONDERFUL
FAMILY... EVERYTHING YOU NEED
FOR THE FUTURE.
145
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,529
FAMILY... EVERYTHING YOU NEED
FOR THE FUTURE.
OR IS IT?
146
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,698
FOR THE FUTURE.
OR IS IT?
WHAT IF YOU WERE SUDDENLY OUT OF
147
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:29,833
OR IS IT?
WHAT IF YOU WERE SUDDENLY OUT OF
THE PICTURE?
148
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:33,503
WHAT IF YOU WERE SUDDENLY OUT OF
THE PICTURE?
[DING!]
149
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,472
THE PICTURE?
[DING!]
SHOULD TRAGEDY STRIKE, WHAT
150
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,139
[DING!]
SHOULD TRAGEDY STRIKE, WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM?
151
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,875
SHOULD TRAGEDY STRIKE, WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM?
SURE, YOU'VE PROVIDED FOR THEM
152
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,477
WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM?
SURE, YOU'VE PROVIDED FOR THEM
FINANCIALLY, BUT WHAT ABOUT
153
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,144
SURE, YOU'VE PROVIDED FOR THEM
FINANCIALLY, BUT WHAT ABOUT
THEIR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL
154
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,212
FINANCIALLY, BUT WHAT ABOUT
THEIR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL
NEEDS?
155
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,616
THEIR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL
NEEDS?
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
156
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,852
NEEDS?
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
157
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,086
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
HONEY, I'M HOME!
158
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:50,720
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
HONEY, I'M HOME!
DADDY!
159
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:51,954
HONEY, I'M HOME!
DADDY!
Announcer: YES, IT'S
160
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,423
DADDY!
Announcer: YES, IT'S
"NEW DAD"... A RADICALLY NEW
161
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:54,824
Announcer: YES, IT'S
"NEW DAD"... A RADICALLY NEW
CONCEPT IN FAMILY INSURANCE
162
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:55,692
"NEW DAD"... A RADICALLY NEW
CONCEPT IN FAMILY INSURANCE
COVERAGE.
163
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,594
CONCEPT IN FAMILY INSURANCE
COVERAGE.
WITHIN SECONDS AFTER "OLD DAD"
164
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,362
COVERAGE.
WITHIN SECONDS AFTER "OLD DAD"
IS OUT, WE'LL HAVE "NEW DAD"
165
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:01,297
WITHIN SECONDS AFTER "OLD DAD"
IS OUT, WE'LL HAVE "NEW DAD"
THERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE.
166
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:02,832
IS OUT, WE'LL HAVE "NEW DAD"
THERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE.
IS YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY
167
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,934
THERE TO TAKE HIS PLACE.
IS YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY
COVERED, NOT JUST FINANCIALLY,
168
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,770
IS YOUR FAMILY COMPLETELY
COVERED, NOT JUST FINANCIALLY,
BUT IN EVERY WAY?
169
00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:08,237
COVERED, NOT JUST FINANCIALLY,
BUT IN EVERY WAY?
WHY NOT CALL YOUR LOCAL
170
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,939
BUT IN EVERY WAY?
WHY NOT CALL YOUR LOCAL
INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENT
171
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,008
WHY NOT CALL YOUR LOCAL
INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENT
TODAY AND ASK HIM ABOUT OUR
172
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,777
INDEPENDENT INSURANCE AGENT
TODAY AND ASK HIM ABOUT OUR
"NEW DAD" POLICY...
173
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,978
TODAY AND ASK HIM ABOUT OUR
"NEW DAD" POLICY...
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE?
174
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,381
"NEW DAD" POLICY...
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE?
THAT'S "NEW DAD"... THE ONLY
175
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,784
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE?
THAT'S "NEW DAD"... THE ONLY
INSURANCE THAT COVERS ALL OF
176
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:21,751
THAT'S "NEW DAD"... THE ONLY
INSURANCE THAT COVERS ALL OF
THEIR NEEDS.
177
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,175
INSURANCE THAT COVERS ALL OF
THEIR NEEDS.
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
178
00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:39,035
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[BILLY PRESTON'S "NOTHING FROM
NOTHING" PLAYS]
179
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,303
[BILLY PRESTON'S "NOTHING FROM
NOTHING" PLAYS]
Announcer: AND NOW
180
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,438
[NOTHING" PLAYS]
Announcer: AND NOW
BILLY PRESTON WITH
181
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:43,606
Announcer: AND NOW
BILLY PRESTON WITH
"NOTHING FROM NOTHING."
182
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:47,343
BILLY PRESTON WITH
"NOTHING FROM NOTHING."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
183
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,178
"NOTHING FROM NOTHING."
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
184
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,147
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
NOTHING ♪
185
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,949
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
NOTHING ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
186
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:56,786
NOTHING ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
187
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,021
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
188
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:00,557
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
NOTHING ♪
189
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,492
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
NOTHING ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
190
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,627
NOTHING ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
191
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,695
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH! ♪
192
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,196
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH! ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT, BABY ♪
193
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,197
♪ YEAH, YEAH! ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
194
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:13,202
♪ THAT'S RIGHT, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
195
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,338
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR
196
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:17,073
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR
HERO ♪
197
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:19,909
♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR
HERO ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THAT ZERO IS TOO COLD
198
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:20,610
HERO ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THAT ZERO IS TOO COLD
FOR ME ♪
199
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,812
♪ 'CAUSE THAT ZERO IS TOO COLD
FOR ME ♪
BRRR!
200
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,781
FOR ME ♪
BRRR!
♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR
201
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,983
BRRR!
♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR
HIGHNESS ♪
202
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,085
♪ I'M NOT TRYIN' TO BE YOUR
HIGHNESS ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THAT MINUS IS TOO LOW
203
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,587
HIGHNESS ♪
♪ 'CAUSE THAT MINUS IS TOO LOW
TO SEE ♪
204
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:31,821
♪ 'CAUSE THAT MINUS IS TOO LOW
TO SEE ♪
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
205
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:32,956
TO SEE ♪
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
206
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,190
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
207
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:39,328
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
208
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,130
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
209
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,932
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
NOTHING ♪
210
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,667
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
NOTHING ♪
♪ AND I'M NOT STUFFIN' ♪
211
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:48,738
NOTHING ♪
♪ AND I'M NOT STUFFIN' ♪
♪ BELIEVE YOU ME ♪
212
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:52,241
♪ AND I'M NOT STUFFIN' ♪
♪ BELIEVE YOU ME ♪
♪ DON'T YOU REMEMBER I TOLD YA ♪
213
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:55,444
♪ BELIEVE YOU ME ♪
♪ DON'T YOU REMEMBER I TOLD YA ♪
♪ I'M A SOLDIER IN THE WAR ON
214
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,479
♪ DON'T YOU REMEMBER I TOLD YA ♪
♪ I'M A SOLDIER IN THE WAR ON
POVERTY? ♪
215
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:57,514
♪ I'M A SOLDIER IN THE WAR ON
POVERTY? ♪
♪ YES, I AM ♪
216
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:58,848
POVERTY? ♪
♪ YES, I AM ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
217
00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,916
♪ YES, I AM ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
218
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:05,788
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
219
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,746
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
[ORGAN SOLO]
220
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:34,383
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
NOTHING ♪
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
221
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,485
NOTHING ♪
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
222
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:37,921
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
223
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,256
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
OH, BABY!
224
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,425
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
OH, BABY!
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
225
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,660
OH, BABY!
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
NOTHING ♪
226
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,828
♪ NOTHING FROM NOTHING LEAVES
NOTHING ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
227
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,864
NOTHING ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE GONNA BE WITH ME ♪
228
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,165
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
♪ IF YOU'RE GONNA BE WITH ME ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
229
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,332
♪ IF YOU'RE GONNA BE WITH ME ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
230
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:51,568
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT! ♪
231
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:52,602
♪ YEAH! ♪
♪ THAT'S RIGHT! ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
232
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,738
♪ THAT'S RIGHT! ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
233
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,807
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
234
00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:00,043
♪ YEAH, BABY ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
235
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,444
♪ YOU GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO BRING ME SOMETHING,
236
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,580
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO BRING ME SOMETHING,
GIRL... HA! IF YOU WANT TO BE
237
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:04,681
♪ YOU GOT TO BRING ME SOMETHING,
GIRL... HA! IF YOU WANT TO BE
WITH ME ♪
238
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,916
GIRL... HA! IF YOU WANT TO BE
WITH ME ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪
239
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,251
WITH ME ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪
240
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,587
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪
241
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:11,688
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪
IT'S ALL RIGHT!
242
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,890
♪ YOU GOT TO KNOW HOW TO PARTY ♪
IT'S ALL RIGHT!
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
243
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:19,629
IT'S ALL RIGHT!
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
244
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:22,520
♪ IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
245
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:41,283
[GAVEL BANGING]
NOW I MUST HAVE ORDER, PLEASE,
OR I'LL BE FORCED TO CLEAR THIS
246
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,519
NOW I MUST HAVE ORDER, PLEASE,
OR I'LL BE FORCED TO CLEAR THIS
COURTROOM.
247
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,588
OR I'LL BE FORCED TO CLEAR THIS
COURTROOM.
MISS DAVIS, WOULD YOU KINDLY
248
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,423
COURTROOM.
MISS DAVIS, WOULD YOU KINDLY
TELL THE COURT, IN YOUR OWN
249
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,158
MISS DAVIS, WOULD YOU KINDLY
TELL THE COURT, IN YOUR OWN
WORDS, WHAT THE DEFENDANT
250
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,094
TELL THE COURT, IN YOUR OWN
WORDS, WHAT THE DEFENDANT
ALLEGEDLY SAID TO YOU WHEN HE
251
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:54,931
WORDS, WHAT THE DEFENDANT
ALLEGEDLY SAID TO YOU WHEN HE
PULLED YOU INTO THE ALLEYWAY?
252
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,766
ALLEGEDLY SAID TO YOU WHEN HE
PULLED YOU INTO THE ALLEYWAY?
HE SAID, "HEY...
253
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,300
PULLED YOU INTO THE ALLEYWAY?
HE SAID, "HEY...
HEY, BABY, H-HOW'D YOU LIKE TO,
254
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,802
HE SAID, "HEY...
HEY, BABY, H-HOW'D YOU LIKE TO,
UH..."
255
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,738
HEY, BABY, H-HOW'D YOU LIKE TO,
UH..."
I CAN'T.
256
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,706
UH..."
I CAN'T.
[GAVEL BANGS]
257
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,074
I CAN'T.
[GAVEL BANGS]
NOW, PLEASE, MISS DAVIS, I
258
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,509
[GAVEL BANGS]
NOW, PLEASE, MISS DAVIS, I
KNOW THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR
259
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:07,744
NOW, PLEASE, MISS DAVIS, I
KNOW THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR
YOU, BUT THIS IS EXTREMELY
260
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:11,313
KNOW THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR
YOU, BUT THIS IS EXTREMELY
IMPORTANT EVIDENCE.
261
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,715
YOU, BUT THIS IS EXTREMELY
IMPORTANT EVIDENCE.
HE SAID, "H-HOW'D YOU LIKE
262
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,216
IMPORTANT EVIDENCE.
HE SAID, "H-HOW'D YOU LIKE
TO, UH..."
263
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,251
HE SAID, "H-HOW'D YOU LIKE
TO, UH..."
OH, DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT.
264
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,619
TO, UH..."
OH, DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT.
[Jamaican accent] OBJECTION!
265
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,354
OH, DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT.
[Jamaican accent] OBJECTION!
THE WITNESS IS NOT ON TRIAL
266
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:18,855
[Jamaican accent] OBJECTION!
THE WITNESS IS NOT ON TRIAL
HERE.
267
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,422
THE WITNESS IS NOT ON TRIAL
HERE.
NOW, OBVIOUSLY, WHAT HE SAID WAS
268
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:21,991
HERE.
NOW, OBVIOUSLY, WHAT HE SAID WAS
TOO UPSETTING FOR HER TO REPEAT.
269
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,526
NOW, OBVIOUSLY, WHAT HE SAID WAS
TOO UPSETTING FOR HER TO REPEAT.
OBJECTION! HEARSAY.
270
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,095
TOO UPSETTING FOR HER TO REPEAT.
OBJECTION! HEARSAY.
GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN.
271
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,698
OBJECTION! HEARSAY.
GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN.
NOW, SINCE THIS EVIDENCE IS SO
272
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:29,999
GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN.
NOW, SINCE THIS EVIDENCE IS SO
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PERHAPS
273
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,400
NOW, SINCE THIS EVIDENCE IS SO
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PERHAPS
MISS DAVIS MIGHT WRITE DOWN THE
274
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,769
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, PERHAPS
MISS DAVIS MIGHT WRITE DOWN THE
DEFENDANT'S REMARKS ON A PIECE
275
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:36,172
MISS DAVIS MIGHT WRITE DOWN THE
DEFENDANT'S REMARKS ON A PIECE
OF PAPER?
276
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,356
DEFENDANT'S REMARKS ON A PIECE
OF PAPER?
[CLEARS THROAT]
277
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:32,117
Announcer: AND NOW HERE'S
ANDY KAUFMAN!
[APPLAUSE]
278
00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:46,308
[STATIC HISSING]
[THEME FROM "MIGHTY MOUSE"
PLAYS]
279
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,745
[THEME FROM "MIGHTY MOUSE"
PLAYS]
♪ MR. TROUBLE NEVER HANGS
280
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,412
[PLAYS]
♪ MR. TROUBLE NEVER HANGS
AROUND ♪
281
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,949
♪ MR. TROUBLE NEVER HANGS
AROUND ♪
♪ WHEN HE HEARS THIS MIGHTY
282
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,817
AROUND ♪
♪ WHEN HE HEARS THIS MIGHTY
SOUND ♪
283
00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:55,718
♪ WHEN HE HEARS THIS MIGHTY
SOUND ♪
[Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I
284
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,787
SOUND ♪
[Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I
COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪
285
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:58,821
[Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I
COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪
♪ THAT MEANS THAT
286
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,991
COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪
♪ THAT MEANS THAT
MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY ♪
287
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,893
♪ THAT MEANS THAT
MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY ♪
♪ YES, SIR, WHEN THERE IS A
288
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,628
MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY ♪
♪ YES, SIR, WHEN THERE IS A
WRONG TO RIGHT ♪
289
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:08,464
♪ YES, SIR, WHEN THERE IS A
WRONG TO RIGHT ♪
♪ MIGHTY MOUSE WILL JOIN THE
290
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,266
WRONG TO RIGHT ♪
♪ MIGHTY MOUSE WILL JOIN THE
FIGHT ♪
291
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,302
♪ MIGHTY MOUSE WILL JOIN THE
FIGHT ♪
♪ ON THE SEA OR ON THE LAND ♪
292
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:16,072
FIGHT ♪
♪ ON THE SEA OR ON THE LAND ♪
♪ HE GETS THE SITUATION WELL IN
293
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:17,673
♪ ON THE SEA OR ON THE LAND ♪
♪ HE GETS THE SITUATION WELL IN
HAND ♪
294
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:18,975
♪ HE GETS THE SITUATION WELL IN
HAND ♪
♪ SO THOUGH WE ARE IN
295
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:19,575
HAND ♪
♪ SO THOUGH WE ARE IN
DANGER ♪
296
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,744
♪ SO THOUGH WE ARE IN
DANGER ♪
♪ WE NEVER DESPAIR ♪
297
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:22,578
DANGER ♪
♪ WE NEVER DESPAIR ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE KNOW THAT WHERE
298
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,180
♪ WE NEVER DESPAIR ♪
♪ 'CAUSE WE KNOW THAT WHERE
THERE'S DANGER, HE IS THERE ♪
299
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,248
♪ 'CAUSE WE KNOW THAT WHERE
THERE'S DANGER, HE IS THERE ♪
♪ HE IS THERE!
300
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,383
THERE'S DANGER, HE IS THERE ♪
♪ HE IS THERE!
♪ ON THE LAND, ON THE SEA, IN
301
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,551
♪ HE IS THERE!
♪ ON THE LAND, ON THE SEA, IN
THE AIR! ♪
302
00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:32,922
♪ ON THE LAND, ON THE SEA, IN
THE AIR! ♪
♪ WE'RE NOT WORRYIN' AT ALL ♪
303
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,291
THE AIR! ♪
♪ WE'RE NOT WORRYIN' AT ALL ♪
♪ WE'RE JUST LISTENIN' FOR HIS
304
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,059
♪ WE'RE NOT WORRYIN' AT ALL ♪
♪ WE'RE JUST LISTENIN' FOR HIS
CALL ♪
305
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,027
♪ WE'RE JUST LISTENIN' FOR HIS
CALL ♪
[Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I
306
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,296
CALL ♪
[Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I
COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪
307
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,230
[Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I
COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪
♪ THAT MEANS THAT
308
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:44,566
COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪
♪ THAT MEANS THAT
MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY ♪
309
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:47,270
♪ THAT MEANS THAT
MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY ♪
[INSTRUMENTAL SOLO]
310
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:07,423
♪ WE'RE NOT WORRYIN' AT ALL ♪
♪ WE'RE JUST LISTENIN' FOR HIS
CALL ♪
311
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,324
♪ WE'RE JUST LISTENIN' FOR HIS
CALL ♪
[Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I
312
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,526
CALL ♪
[Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I
COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪
313
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:11,493
[Lip-synching] ♪ HERE I
COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪
♪ THAT MEANS THAT
314
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:14,596
COME TO SAVE THE DAY! ♪
♪ THAT MEANS THAT
MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY! ♪
315
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:17,420
♪ THAT MEANS THAT
MIGHTY MOUSE IS ON THE WAY! ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
316
00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:25,930
[BAND PLAYS]
317
00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:42,658
THANK YOU.
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE HEARD THIS
IN YOUR HOME?
318
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,493
HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE HEARD THIS
IN YOUR HOME?
"WHERE'S THE GOOD SCISSORS?"
319
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,762
IN YOUR HOME?
"WHERE'S THE GOOD SCISSORS?"
[LAUGHTER]
320
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,564
"WHERE'S THE GOOD SCISSORS?"
[LAUGHTER]
"I CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING NICE IN
321
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,033
[LAUGHTER]
"I CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING NICE IN
THIS HOUSE."
322
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,168
"I CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING NICE IN
THIS HOUSE."
HERE'S ANOTHER THING YOU'LL HEAR
323
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:52,568
THIS HOUSE."
HERE'S ANOTHER THING YOU'LL HEAR
AT HOME.
324
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,004
HERE'S ANOTHER THING YOU'LL HEAR
AT HOME.
MOSTLY GUYS SAY THIS.
325
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:58,741
AT HOME.
MOSTLY GUYS SAY THIS.
"HEY, WHO STOLE MY UNDERWEAR?!
326
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,877
MOSTLY GUYS SAY THIS.
"HEY, WHO STOLE MY UNDERWEAR?!
SOMEBODY STOLE MY UNDERWEAR!"
327
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,912
"HEY, WHO STOLE MY UNDERWEAR?!
SOMEBODY STOLE MY UNDERWEAR!"
"WHICH ONE?"
328
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:08,084
SOMEBODY STOLE MY UNDERWEAR!"
"WHICH ONE?"
"THIS WEEK'S UNDERWEAR."
329
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,186
"WHICH ONE?"
"THIS WEEK'S UNDERWEAR."
DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THE CROWDS
330
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,088
"THIS WEEK'S UNDERWEAR."
DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THE CROWDS
IN OLD MOVIES AND WONDER IF
331
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:12,922
DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THE CROWDS
IN OLD MOVIES AND WONDER IF
THEY'RE DEAD YET?
332
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,358
IN OLD MOVIES AND WONDER IF
THEY'RE DEAD YET?
[LAUGHTER]
333
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,225
THEY'RE DEAD YET?
[LAUGHTER]
THANK YOU.
334
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,626
[LAUGHTER]
THANK YOU.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
335
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:22,198
THANK YOU.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
I DO.
336
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,732
I CAN'T HELP IT.
I DO.
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO THROW
337
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:27,937
I DO.
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO THROW
AWAY AN OLD WASTEBASKET?
338
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:28,570
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO THROW
AWAY AN OLD WASTEBASKET?
YOU CAN'T DO IT.
339
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,638
AWAY AN OLD WASTEBASKET?
YOU CAN'T DO IT.
PEOPLE KEEP BRINGING IT BACK TO
340
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:30,472
YOU CAN'T DO IT.
PEOPLE KEEP BRINGING IT BACK TO
YOU, MAN.
341
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,108
PEOPLE KEEP BRINGING IT BACK TO
YOU, MAN.
"HEY, UH, YOUR WASTEBASKET WAS
342
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,175
YOU, MAN.
"HEY, UH, YOUR WASTEBASKET WAS
IN THE GARBAGE HERE!"
343
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:37,113
"HEY, UH, YOUR WASTEBASKET WAS
IN THE GARBAGE HERE!"
[LAUGHTER]
344
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,081
IN THE GARBAGE HERE!"
[LAUGHTER]
CHECK THIS OUT... WHEN YOU HAVE
345
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,417
[LAUGHTER]
CHECK THIS OUT... WHEN YOU HAVE
A PACKAGE OF BACON, UNDERNEATH
346
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,920
CHECK THIS OUT... WHEN YOU HAVE
A PACKAGE OF BACON, UNDERNEATH
ALL THE NEAT, HORIZONTAL STRIPS,
347
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,521
A PACKAGE OF BACON, UNDERNEATH
ALL THE NEAT, HORIZONTAL STRIPS,
THERE'S ALWAYS ONE WEIRD PIECE
348
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,385
ALL THE NEAT, HORIZONTAL STRIPS,
THERE'S ALWAYS ONE WEIRD PIECE
OF BACON.
349
00:15:54,886 --> 00:16:00,369
WHAT DO DOGS DO ON THEIR DAY
OFF?
THEY CAN'T LIE AROUND.
350
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:04,106
OFF?
THEY CAN'T LIE AROUND.
THAT'S THEIR JOB, MAN.
351
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,341
THEY CAN'T LIE AROUND.
THAT'S THEIR JOB, MAN.
AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEARCH YOU
352
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:06,409
THAT'S THEIR JOB, MAN.
AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEARCH YOU
PRETTY WELL AT THE AIRPORT.
353
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,643
AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEARCH YOU
PRETTY WELL AT THE AIRPORT.
THERE'LL BE LOTS OF PLACES LATER
354
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,777
PRETTY WELL AT THE AIRPORT.
THERE'LL BE LOTS OF PLACES LATER
THEY'LL BE SEARCHING US, BUT THE
355
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,946
THERE'LL BE LOTS OF PLACES LATER
THEY'LL BE SEARCHING US, BUT THE
AIRPORT IS WHERE THEY'RE KIND OF
356
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:10,579
THEY'LL BE SEARCHING US, BUT THE
AIRPORT IS WHERE THEY'RE KIND OF
TRYING IT OUT.
357
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:11,713
AIRPORT IS WHERE THEY'RE KIND OF
TRYING IT OUT.
AND, AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEND YOUR
358
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:12,714
TRYING IT OUT.
AND, AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEND YOUR
BAGS THROUGH TO MAKE SURE
359
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:13,515
AND, AS YOU KNOW, THEY SEND YOUR
BAGS THROUGH TO MAKE SURE
THERE ARE NO WEAPONS.
360
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:14,650
BAGS THROUGH TO MAKE SURE
THERE ARE NO WEAPONS.
"DON'T WANT ANY WEAPONS ON THE
361
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:15,351
THERE ARE NO WEAPONS.
"DON'T WANT ANY WEAPONS ON THE
PLANE, YOU KNOW!"
362
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:16,452
"DON'T WANT ANY WEAPONS ON THE
PLANE, YOU KNOW!"
THE LITTLE FLUOROSCOPE JOB, AND
363
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,453
PLANE, YOU KNOW!"
THE LITTLE FLUOROSCOPE JOB, AND
THEY RUN YOU THROUGH THE MODEL
364
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,321
THE LITTLE FLUOROSCOPE JOB, AND
THEY RUN YOU THROUGH THE MODEL
HOME, AND, "NO WEAPONS!
365
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:18,887
THEY RUN YOU THROUGH THE MODEL
HOME, AND, "NO WEAPONS!
LET THEM ON!"
366
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:19,956
HOME, AND, "NO WEAPONS!
LET THEM ON!"
YOU GET ON THE PLANE, AND YOU'RE
367
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:20,489
LET THEM ON!"
YOU GET ON THE PLANE, AND YOU'RE
CLEAN!
368
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:21,290
YOU GET ON THE PLANE, AND YOU'RE
CLEAN!
WHAT DO THEY DO?
369
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,291
CLEAN!
WHAT DO THEY DO?
THEY GIVE YOU A KNIFE AND A
370
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,426
WHAT DO THEY DO?
THEY GIVE YOU A KNIFE AND A
FORK AND ALL THE WINE YOU CAN
371
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,594
THEY GIVE YOU A KNIFE AND A
FORK AND ALL THE WINE YOU CAN
DRINK, MAN.
372
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:26,595
FORK AND ALL THE WINE YOU CAN
DRINK, MAN.
I MEAN, I COULD TAKE OVER A
373
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:27,596
DRINK, MAN.
I MEAN, I COULD TAKE OVER A
PLANE WITH A PIECE OF LOOSE-LEAF
374
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,264
I MEAN, I COULD TAKE OVER A
PLANE WITH A PIECE OF LOOSE-LEAF
PAPER, RIGHT?
375
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,598
PLANE WITH A PIECE OF LOOSE-LEAF
PAPER, RIGHT?
JUST HOLD IT AT THE STEWARDESS'S
376
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,435
PAPER, RIGHT?
JUST HOLD IT AT THE STEWARDESS'S
NECK AND THREATEN PAPER CUTS!
377
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:33,469
JUST HOLD IT AT THE STEWARDESS'S
NECK AND THREATEN PAPER CUTS!
"DO WHAT HE SAYS!
378
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,404
NECK AND THREATEN PAPER CUTS!
"DO WHAT HE SAYS!
DO WHAT HE SAYS!"
379
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,605
"DO WHAT HE SAYS!
DO WHAT HE SAYS!"
OH!
380
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,342
DO WHAT HE SAYS!"
OH!
THERE'S A MOMENT COMING...
381
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,443
OH!
THERE'S A MOMENT COMING...
THERE'S A MOMENT COMING.
382
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,577
THERE'S A MOMENT COMING...
THERE'S A MOMENT COMING.
IT'S... IT'S NOT HERE YET.
383
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:42,678
THERE'S A MOMENT COMING.
IT'S... IT'S NOT HERE YET.
IT'S ON THE WAY.
384
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,313
IT'S... IT'S NOT HERE YET.
IT'S ON THE WAY.
IT'S STILL IN THE FUTURE.
385
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,514
IT'S ON THE WAY.
IT'S STILL IN THE FUTURE.
HERE... HERE IT IS!
386
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:48,517
IT'S STILL IN THE FUTURE.
HERE... HERE IT IS!
OH, IT'S GONE, MAN.
387
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:49,418
HERE... HERE IT IS!
OH, IT'S GONE, MAN.
THERE'S NO PRESENT.
388
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:50,686
OH, IT'S GONE, MAN.
THERE'S NO PRESENT.
EVERYTHING IS THE NEAR FUTURE
389
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:51,687
THERE'S NO PRESENT.
EVERYTHING IS THE NEAR FUTURE
AND THE RECENT PAST.
390
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:52,688
EVERYTHING IS THE NEAR FUTURE
AND THE RECENT PAST.
NO WONDER WE CAN'T GET ANYTHING
391
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:53,222
AND THE RECENT PAST.
NO WONDER WE CAN'T GET ANYTHING
TOGETHER.
392
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,757
NO WONDER WE CAN'T GET ANYTHING
TOGETHER.
WE'VE GOT NO TIME, MAN.
393
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:56,993
TOGETHER.
WE'VE GOT NO TIME, MAN.
WE WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE TO
394
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,727
WE'VE GOT NO TIME, MAN.
WE WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE TO
YOU JANIS IAN.
395
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,829
WE WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE TO
YOU JANIS IAN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
396
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,198
YOU JANIS IAN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[JANIS IAN'S "AT SEVENTEEN"
397
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:10,222
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[JANIS IAN'S "AT SEVENTEEN"
PLAYS]
398
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,975
[JANIS IAN'S "AT SEVENTEEN"
PLAYS]
♪ I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT
399
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:15,878
[PLAYS]
♪ I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT
SEVENTEEN ♪
400
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:18,014
♪ I LEARNED THE TRUTH AT
SEVENTEEN ♪
♪ THAT LOVE WAS MEANT FOR BEAUTY
401
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,516
SEVENTEEN ♪
♪ THAT LOVE WAS MEANT FOR BEAUTY
QUEENS ♪
402
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,351
♪ THAT LOVE WAS MEANT FOR BEAUTY
QUEENS ♪
♪ AND HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS WITH
403
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,987
QUEENS ♪
♪ AND HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS WITH
CLEAR-SKINNED SMILES ♪
404
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,455
♪ AND HIGH-SCHOOL GIRLS WITH
CLEAR-SKINNED SMILES ♪
♪ WHO MARRIED YOUNG AND THEN
405
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:31,593
CLEAR-SKINNED SMILES ♪
♪ WHO MARRIED YOUNG AND THEN
RETIRED ♪
406
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:36,532
♪ WHO MARRIED YOUNG AND THEN
RETIRED ♪
♪ THE VALENTINES I NEVER KNEW ♪
407
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,068
RETIRED ♪
♪ THE VALENTINES I NEVER KNEW ♪
♪ THE FRIDAY NIGHT CHARADES OF
408
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:41,270
♪ THE VALENTINES I NEVER KNEW ♪
♪ THE FRIDAY NIGHT CHARADES OF
YOUTH ♪
409
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:43,105
♪ THE FRIDAY NIGHT CHARADES OF
YOUTH ♪
♪ WERE SPENT ON ONE MORE
410
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,574
YOUTH ♪
♪ WERE SPENT ON ONE MORE
BEAUTIFUL ♪
411
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,943
♪ WERE SPENT ON ONE MORE
BEAUTIFUL ♪
♪ AT SEVENTEEN, I LEARNED THE
412
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:52,081
BEAUTIFUL ♪
♪ AT SEVENTEEN, I LEARNED THE
TRUTH ♪
413
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:55,351
♪ AT SEVENTEEN, I LEARNED THE
TRUTH ♪
♪ AND THOSE OF US WITH RAVAGED
414
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:57,786
TRUTH ♪
♪ AND THOSE OF US WITH RAVAGED
FACES ♪
415
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:01,657
♪ AND THOSE OF US WITH RAVAGED
FACES ♪
♪ LACKING IN THE SOCIAL GRACES ♪
416
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:05,594
FACES ♪
♪ LACKING IN THE SOCIAL GRACES ♪
♪ DESPERATELY REMAINED AT HOME ♪
417
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,230
♪ LACKING IN THE SOCIAL GRACES ♪
♪ DESPERATELY REMAINED AT HOME ♪
♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE
418
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,731
♪ DESPERATELY REMAINED AT HOME ♪
♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE
PHONE ♪
419
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,634
♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE
PHONE ♪
♪ WHO CALLED TO SAY, "COME DANCE
420
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,537
PHONE ♪
♪ WHO CALLED TO SAY, "COME DANCE
WITH ME" ♪
421
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,772
♪ WHO CALLED TO SAY, "COME DANCE
WITH ME" ♪
♪ AND MURMURED VAGUE
422
00:18:16,796 --> 00:18:18,907
WITH ME" ♪
♪ AND MURMURED VAGUE
OBSCENITIES ♪
423
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,410
♪ AND MURMURED VAGUE
OBSCENITIES ♪
♪ IT ISN'T ALL IT SEEMS, AT
424
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,281
OBSCENITIES ♪
♪ IT ISN'T ALL IT SEEMS, AT
SEVENTEEN ♪
425
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,550
♪ IT ISN'T ALL IT SEEMS, AT
SEVENTEEN ♪
♪ A BROWN-EYED GIRL IN
426
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:30,386
SEVENTEEN ♪
♪ A BROWN-EYED GIRL IN
HAND-ME-DOWNS ♪
427
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:32,188
♪ A BROWN-EYED GIRL IN
HAND-ME-DOWNS ♪
♪ WHOSE NAME I NEVER COULD
428
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,390
HAND-ME-DOWNS ♪
♪ WHOSE NAME I NEVER COULD
PRONOUNCE ♪
429
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,025
♪ WHOSE NAME I NEVER COULD
PRONOUNCE ♪
♪ SAID, "PITY, PLEASE, THE ONES
430
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,694
PRONOUNCE ♪
♪ SAID, "PITY, PLEASE, THE ONES
WHO SERVE ♪
431
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,596
♪ SAID, "PITY, PLEASE, THE ONES
WHO SERVE ♪
♪ THEY ONLY GET WHAT THEY
432
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:45,000
WHO SERVE ♪
♪ THEY ONLY GET WHAT THEY
DESERVE" ♪
433
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,369
♪ THEY ONLY GET WHAT THEY
DESERVE" ♪
♪ AND THE RICH-RELATIONED
434
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:49,572
DESERVE" ♪
♪ AND THE RICH-RELATIONED
HOMETOWN QUEEN ♪
435
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,908
♪ AND THE RICH-RELATIONED
HOMETOWN QUEEN ♪
♪ MARRIES INTO WHAT SHE NEEDS ♪
436
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:58,147
HOMETOWN QUEEN ♪
♪ MARRIES INTO WHAT SHE NEEDS ♪
♪ WITH A GUARANTEE OF COMPANY ♪
437
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:04,720
♪ MARRIES INTO WHAT SHE NEEDS ♪
♪ WITH A GUARANTEE OF COMPANY ♪
♪ AND HAVEN FOR THE ELDERLY ♪
438
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,889
♪ WITH A GUARANTEE OF COMPANY ♪
♪ AND HAVEN FOR THE ELDERLY ♪
♪ REMEMBER THOSE WHO WIN THE
439
00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:11,527
♪ AND HAVEN FOR THE ELDERLY ♪
♪ REMEMBER THOSE WHO WIN THE
GAME LOSE THE LOVE THEY SOUGHT
440
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:12,828
♪ REMEMBER THOSE WHO WIN THE
GAME LOSE THE LOVE THEY SOUGHT
TO GAIN ♪
441
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:16,698
GAME LOSE THE LOVE THEY SOUGHT
TO GAIN ♪
♪ IN DEBENTURES OF QUALITY ♪
442
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:21,337
TO GAIN ♪
♪ IN DEBENTURES OF QUALITY ♪
♪ AND DUBIOUS INTEGRITY ♪
443
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,405
♪ IN DEBENTURES OF QUALITY ♪
♪ AND DUBIOUS INTEGRITY ♪
♪ THEIR SMALL-TOWN EYES WILL
444
00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:27,676
♪ AND DUBIOUS INTEGRITY ♪
♪ THEIR SMALL-TOWN EYES WILL
GAPE AT YOU IN DULL SURPRISE ♪
445
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,513
♪ THEIR SMALL-TOWN EYES WILL
GAPE AT YOU IN DULL SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHEN PAYMENT DUE EXCEEDS
446
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,481
GAPE AT YOU IN DULL SURPRISE ♪
♪ WHEN PAYMENT DUE EXCEEDS
ACCOUNTS RECEIVED, AT
447
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,825
♪ WHEN PAYMENT DUE EXCEEDS
ACCOUNTS RECEIVED, AT
SEVENTEEN ♪
448
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:51,782
♪ TO THOSE OF US WHO KNEW THE
PAIN OF VALENTINES THAT NEVER
CAME ♪
449
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,337
PAIN OF VALENTINES THAT NEVER
CAME ♪
♪ AND THOSE WHOSE NAMES WERE
450
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,873
CAME ♪
♪ AND THOSE WHOSE NAMES WERE
NEVER CALLED ♪
451
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,475
♪ AND THOSE WHOSE NAMES WERE
NEVER CALLED ♪
♪ WHEN CHOOSING SIDES FOR
452
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:04,046
NEVER CALLED ♪
♪ WHEN CHOOSING SIDES FOR
BASKETBALL ♪
453
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:09,585
♪ WHEN CHOOSING SIDES FOR
BASKETBALL ♪
♪ IT WAS LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY ♪
454
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:11,853
BASKETBALL ♪
♪ IT WAS LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY ♪
♪ THE WORLD WAS YOUNGER THAN
455
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,190
♪ IT WAS LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY ♪
♪ THE WORLD WAS YOUNGER THAN
TODAY ♪
456
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,091
♪ THE WORLD WAS YOUNGER THAN
TODAY ♪
♪ WHEN DREAMS WERE ALL THEY GAVE
457
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,494
TODAY ♪
♪ WHEN DREAMS WERE ALL THEY GAVE
FOR FREE ♪
458
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:21,730
♪ WHEN DREAMS WERE ALL THEY GAVE
FOR FREE ♪
♪ TO UGLY-DUCKLING GIRLS LIKE
459
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,932
FOR FREE ♪
♪ TO UGLY-DUCKLING GIRLS LIKE
ME ♪
460
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:27,369
♪ TO UGLY-DUCKLING GIRLS LIKE
ME ♪
♪ WE ALL PLAY THE GAME, AND WHEN
461
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,506
ME ♪
♪ WE ALL PLAY THE GAME, AND WHEN
WE DARE TO CHEAT OURSELVES AT
462
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,408
♪ WE ALL PLAY THE GAME, AND WHEN
WE DARE TO CHEAT OURSELVES AT
SOLITAIRE ♪
463
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,211
WE DARE TO CHEAT OURSELVES AT
SOLITAIRE ♪
♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE
464
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:36,278
SOLITAIRE ♪
♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE
PHONE ♪
465
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,947
♪ INVENTING LOVERS ON THE
PHONE ♪
♪ REPENTING OTHER LIVES
466
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,949
PHONE ♪
♪ REPENTING OTHER LIVES
UNKNOWN ♪
467
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,985
♪ REPENTING OTHER LIVES
UNKNOWN ♪
♪ THAT CALL AND SAY, "COME DANCE
468
00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:46,088
UNKNOWN ♪
♪ THAT CALL AND SAY, "COME DANCE
WITH ME" AND MURMUR VAGUE
469
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:49,391
♪ THAT CALL AND SAY, "COME DANCE
WITH ME" AND MURMUR VAGUE
OBSCENITIES ♪
470
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:51,893
WITH ME" AND MURMUR VAGUE
OBSCENITIES ♪
♪ AT UGLY GIRLS LIKE ME, AT
471
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,963
OBSCENITIES ♪
♪ AT UGLY GIRLS LIKE ME, AT
SEVENTEEN ♪
472
00:20:54,987 --> 00:21:00,636
♪ AT UGLY GIRLS LIKE ME, AT
SEVENTEEN ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
473
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,593
SEVENTEEN ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
474
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:15,484
[BOBBY DARIN'S "MACK THE KNIFE"
PLAYS]
♪ OH, THE SHARK HAS ♪
475
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:18,554
[PLAYS]
♪ OH, THE SHARK HAS ♪
♪ HAS SUCH PRETTY TEETH ♪
476
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:21,290
♪ OH, THE SHARK HAS ♪
♪ HAS SUCH PRETTY TEETH ♪
♪ AND HE SHOWS THEM ♪
477
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,091
♪ HAS SUCH PRETTY TEETH ♪
♪ AND HE SHOWS THEM ♪
♪ PEARLY WHITE ♪
478
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,393
♪ AND HE SHOWS THEM ♪
♪ PEARLY WHITE ♪
HI, I'M PHYLLIS CRAWFORD, AND
479
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:25,160
♪ PEARLY WHITE ♪
HI, I'M PHYLLIS CRAWFORD, AND
WELCOME TO
480
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:27,062
HI, I'M PHYLLIS CRAWFORD, AND
WELCOME TO
"VICTIMS OF SHARK BITE."
481
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:28,530
WELCOME TO
"VICTIMS OF SHARK BITE."
MY FIRST GUEST...
482
00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:29,931
"VICTIMS OF SHARK BITE."
MY FIRST GUEST...
MR. MARTIN GRESNER FROM
483
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,300
MY FIRST GUEST...
MR. MARTIN GRESNER FROM
LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK.
484
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:33,569
MR. MARTIN GRESNER FROM
LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK.
MR. GRESNER, WOULD YOU TELL OUR
485
00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:35,771
LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK.
MR. GRESNER, WOULD YOU TELL OUR
AUDIENCE JUST HOW YOU BECAME A
486
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,306
MR. GRESNER, WOULD YOU TELL OUR
AUDIENCE JUST HOW YOU BECAME A
VICTIM OF SHARK BITE?
487
00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,007
AUDIENCE JUST HOW YOU BECAME A
VICTIM OF SHARK BITE?
I'D BE HAPPY TO, PHYLLIS.
488
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:40,476
VICTIM OF SHARK BITE?
I'D BE HAPPY TO, PHYLLIS.
I WAS SWIMMING ABOUT 50 YARDS
489
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,043
I'D BE HAPPY TO, PHYLLIS.
I WAS SWIMMING ABOUT 50 YARDS
OFFSHORE FROM MY SUMMER HOME IN
490
00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:44,012
I WAS SWIMMING ABOUT 50 YARDS
OFFSHORE FROM MY SUMMER HOME IN
MATTATUCK, LONG ISLAND.
491
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,681
OFFSHORE FROM MY SUMMER HOME IN
MATTATUCK, LONG ISLAND.
IT WAS HIGH TIDE, AND ALL OF A
492
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,149
MATTATUCK, LONG ISLAND.
IT WAS HIGH TIDE, AND ALL OF A
SUDDEN, I FELT THIS SHARP,
493
00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:48,517
IT WAS HIGH TIDE, AND ALL OF A
SUDDEN, I FELT THIS SHARP,
PIERCING PAIN IN MY LEFT
494
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:49,752
SUDDEN, I FELT THIS SHARP,
PIERCING PAIN IN MY LEFT
SHOULDER.
495
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,186
PIERCING PAIN IN MY LEFT
SHOULDER.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS AT
496
00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:52,120
SHOULDER.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS AT
FIRST.
497
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,023
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS AT
FIRST.
MY LEFT ARM FELT NUMB.
498
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,159
FIRST.
MY LEFT ARM FELT NUMB.
WELL, MY ARM WAS GONE.
499
00:21:57,183 --> 00:21:58,193
MY LEFT ARM FELT NUMB.
WELL, MY ARM WAS GONE.
SINCE THEN, I'VE HAD TO LEARN
500
00:21:58,217 --> 00:21:59,227
WELL, MY ARM WAS GONE.
SINCE THEN, I'VE HAD TO LEARN
HOW TO DO EVERYTHING WITH MY
501
00:21:59,251 --> 00:21:59,928
SINCE THEN, I'VE HAD TO LEARN
HOW TO DO EVERYTHING WITH MY
RIGHT HAND.
502
00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:01,463
HOW TO DO EVERYTHING WITH MY
RIGHT HAND.
JUST WHEN DID THIS INCIDENT
503
00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:02,898
RIGHT HAND.
JUST WHEN DID THIS INCIDENT
TAKE PLACE?
504
00:22:02,922 --> 00:22:04,667
JUST WHEN DID THIS INCIDENT
TAKE PLACE?
OH, I'D SAY MAYBE...
505
00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:07,569
TAKE PLACE?
OH, I'D SAY MAYBE...
THREE, FOUR MONTHS AGO.
506
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:10,238
OH, I'D SAY MAYBE...
THREE, FOUR MONTHS AGO.
I'VE HAD, UH...
507
00:22:10,262 --> 00:22:11,607
THREE, FOUR MONTHS AGO.
I'VE HAD, UH...
I'VE LEARNED HOW TO SHAVE WITH
508
00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:13,008
I'VE HAD, UH...
I'VE LEARNED HOW TO SHAVE WITH
MY RIGHT HAND AND EAT WITH ONE
509
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:13,475
I'VE LEARNED HOW TO SHAVE WITH
MY RIGHT HAND AND EAT WITH ONE
HAND...
510
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,710
MY RIGHT HAND AND EAT WITH ONE
HAND...
EXCUSE ME, MR. GRESNER, BUT
511
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:15,944
HAND...
EXCUSE ME, MR. GRESNER, BUT
IT APPEARS TO ME AS THOUGH YOU
512
00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:17,012
EXCUSE ME, MR. GRESNER, BUT
IT APPEARS TO ME AS THOUGH YOU
DO HAVE A LEFT ARM THERE.
513
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,013
IT APPEARS TO ME AS THOUGH YOU
DO HAVE A LEFT ARM THERE.
NOPE, IT'S GONE, SEE?
514
00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:19,014
DO HAVE A LEFT ARM THERE.
NOPE, IT'S GONE, SEE?
SHARK BIT IT OFF.
515
00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:19,615
NOPE, IT'S GONE, SEE?
SHARK BIT IT OFF.
NOTHING THERE.
516
00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:20,982
SHARK BIT IT OFF.
NOTHING THERE.
NO, MR. GRESNER, THAT'S YOUR
517
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:21,650
NOTHING THERE.
NO, MR. GRESNER, THAT'S YOUR
SLEEVE.
518
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:22,984
NO, MR. GRESNER, THAT'S YOUR
SLEEVE.
YOU DO HAVE A LEFT ARM, AND IT
519
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:26,288
SLEEVE.
YOU DO HAVE A LEFT ARM, AND IT
LOOKS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO ME.
520
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:27,022
YOU DO HAVE A LEFT ARM, AND IT
LOOKS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO ME.
IT DOES, HUH?
521
00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,291
LOOKS PERFECTLY NORMAL TO ME.
IT DOES, HUH?
YES.
522
00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:30,326
IT DOES, HUH?
YES.
OH, IT WAS MY LEG!
523
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,026
YES.
OH, IT WAS MY LEG!
MY LEG!
524
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:32,160
OH, IT WAS MY LEG!
MY LEG!
HE BIT MY LEG OFF, SEE?
525
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,195
MY LEG!
HE BIT MY LEG OFF, SEE?
I HAVE TO HOP AROUND ON ONE
526
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:33,729
HE BIT MY LEG OFF, SEE?
I HAVE TO HOP AROUND ON ONE
FOOT.
527
00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:34,730
I HAVE TO HOP AROUND ON ONE
FOOT.
I'M AN INVALID.
528
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:35,731
FOOT.
I'M AN INVALID.
NO, MR. GRESNER, YOU DO HAVE
529
00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:36,231
I'M AN INVALID.
NO, MR. GRESNER, YOU DO HAVE
A LEG THERE.
530
00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:37,232
NO, MR. GRESNER, YOU DO HAVE
A LEG THERE.
IT'S TUCKED UNDER YOUR OTHER
531
00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:38,300
A LEG THERE.
IT'S TUCKED UNDER YOUR OTHER
LEG.
532
00:22:38,324 --> 00:22:39,668
IT'S TUCKED UNDER YOUR OTHER
LEG.
YOU SEE? YOU'RE FINE.
533
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,903
LEG.
YOU SEE? YOU'RE FINE.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
534
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:42,904
YOU SEE? YOU'RE FINE.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
WELL, I SAW THAT MOVIE WHERE
535
00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:43,905
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
WELL, I SAW THAT MOVIE WHERE
THAT GUY HAD HIS LEG BIT OFF...
536
00:22:43,929 --> 00:22:45,240
WELL, I SAW THAT MOVIE WHERE
THAT GUY HAD HIS LEG BIT OFF...
WE'LL BE BACK WITH ANOTHER
537
00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:46,675
THAT GUY HAD HIS LEG BIT OFF...
WE'LL BE BACK WITH ANOTHER
VICTIM OF SHARK BITE AFTER THIS
538
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:47,476
WE'LL BE BACK WITH ANOTHER
VICTIM OF SHARK BITE AFTER THIS
COMMERCIAL MESSAGE.
539
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:48,744
VICTIM OF SHARK BITE AFTER THIS
COMMERCIAL MESSAGE.
GOT A SCAR HERE WHEN MY
540
00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:50,111
COMMERCIAL MESSAGE.
GOT A SCAR HERE WHEN MY
SISTER PUSHED ME OFF A PORCH,
541
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:51,012
GOT A SCAR HERE WHEN MY
SISTER PUSHED ME OFF A PORCH,
AND...
542
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,414
SISTER PUSHED ME OFF A PORCH,
AND...
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
543
00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:54,650
AND...
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND, MY
544
00:22:54,674 --> 00:22:56,719
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND, MY
BUSINESS PARTNER, MY ADVISOR, MY
545
00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:57,953
THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND, MY
BUSINESS PARTNER, MY ADVISOR, MY
COMPANION...
546
00:22:57,977 --> 00:22:59,455
BUSINESS PARTNER, MY ADVISOR, MY
COMPANION...
MY WIFE.
547
00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,457
COMPANION...
MY WIFE.
AND I LOVE HER.
548
00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:03,124
MY WIFE.
AND I LOVE HER.
SHE'S QUITE A GAL, YOU KNOW?
549
00:23:03,148 --> 00:23:04,493
AND I LOVE HER.
SHE'S QUITE A GAL, YOU KNOW?
SHE TAKES CARE OF THE HOUSE,
550
00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:06,061
SHE'S QUITE A GAL, YOU KNOW?
SHE TAKES CARE OF THE HOUSE,
COOKS GREAT MEALS, MAKES STUDDED
551
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:07,262
SHE TAKES CARE OF THE HOUSE,
COOKS GREAT MEALS, MAKES STUDDED
LEATHER VESTS AT OUR OWN
552
00:23:07,286 --> 00:23:08,764
COOKS GREAT MEALS, MAKES STUDDED
LEATHER VESTS AT OUR OWN
BOUTIQUE, AND STILL HAS ENOUGH
553
00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:10,265
LEATHER VESTS AT OUR OWN
BOUTIQUE, AND STILL HAS ENOUGH
ENERGY TO GIVE ME THE ATTENTION
554
00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:11,767
BOUTIQUE, AND STILL HAS ENOUGH
ENERGY TO GIVE ME THE ATTENTION
AND AFFECTION I NEED AT THE END
555
00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:13,369
ENERGY TO GIVE ME THE ATTENTION
AND AFFECTION I NEED AT THE END
OF A LONG DAY.
556
00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,536
AND AFFECTION I NEED AT THE END
OF A LONG DAY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT.
557
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,705
OF A LONG DAY.
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT.
WELL, I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
558
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,173
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT.
WELL, I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
I GET PLENTY OF REST, GO TO THE
559
00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:19,274
WELL, I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
I GET PLENTY OF REST, GO TO THE
"Y," EAT RIGHT.
560
00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:20,909
I GET PLENTY OF REST, GO TO THE
"Y," EAT RIGHT.
TO MAKE SURE I GET ENOUGH IRON
561
00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:22,444
"Y," EAT RIGHT.
TO MAKE SURE I GET ENOUGH IRON
AND VITAMINS, I TAKE JAMITOL
562
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:23,579
TO MAKE SURE I GET ENOUGH IRON
AND VITAMINS, I TAKE JAMITOL
EVERY DAY.
563
00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,981
AND VITAMINS, I TAKE JAMITOL
EVERY DAY.
MAKES ME TAKE IT, TOO.
564
00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:27,015
EVERY DAY.
MAKES ME TAKE IT, TOO.
Announcer: JAMITOL.
565
00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:28,316
MAKES ME TAKE IT, TOO.
Announcer: JAMITOL.
MORE THAN TWICE THE IRON AND
566
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:29,718
Announcer: JAMITOL.
MORE THAN TWICE THE IRON AND
HIGH-POTENCY VITAMINS FOUND IN
567
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:30,719
MORE THAN TWICE THE IRON AND
HIGH-POTENCY VITAMINS FOUND IN
OTHER SUPPLEMENTS.
568
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,488
HIGH-POTENCY VITAMINS FOUND IN
OTHER SUPPLEMENTS.
TABLET OR LIQUID.
569
00:23:32,512 --> 00:23:35,290
OTHER SUPPLEMENTS.
TABLET OR LIQUID.
MY WIFE... SHE'S QUITE A GAL.
570
00:23:35,314 --> 00:23:40,195
TABLET OR LIQUID.
MY WIFE... SHE'S QUITE A GAL.
AND I LOVE HER FOR IT.
571
00:23:40,219 --> 00:23:42,464
MY WIFE... SHE'S QUITE A GAL.
AND I LOVE HER FOR IT.
I'M PAUL SIMON, AND I'LL BE
572
00:23:42,488 --> 00:23:44,833
AND I LOVE HER FOR IT.
I'M PAUL SIMON, AND I'LL BE
HOSTING THE NBC "SATURDAY NIGHT"
573
00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:46,234
I'M PAUL SIMON, AND I'LL BE
HOSTING THE NBC "SATURDAY NIGHT"
SHOW NEXT WEEK.
574
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,069
HOSTING THE NBC "SATURDAY NIGHT"
SHOW NEXT WEEK.
I'LL BE JOINED BY RANDY NEWMAN,
575
00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:49,872
SHOW NEXT WEEK.
I'LL BE JOINED BY RANDY NEWMAN,
PHOEBE SNOW, AND MY EX-PARTNER
576
00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:51,440
I'LL BE JOINED BY RANDY NEWMAN,
PHOEBE SNOW, AND MY EX-PARTNER
ART GARFUNKEL FOR A LITTLE
577
00:23:51,464 --> 00:23:53,008
PHOEBE SNOW, AND MY EX-PARTNER
ART GARFUNKEL FOR A LITTLE
SIMON & GARFUNKEL REUNION.
578
00:23:53,032 --> 00:23:55,010
ART GARFUNKEL FOR A LITTLE
SIMON & GARFUNKEL REUNION.
I HOPE YOU'LL WATCH.
579
00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:55,878
SIMON & GARFUNKEL REUNION.
I HOPE YOU'LL WATCH.
[TICKER TICKING]
580
00:23:55,902 --> 00:23:56,978
I HOPE YOU'LL WATCH.
[TICKER TICKING]
Announcer: AND NOW
581
00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,079
[TICKER TICKING]
Announcer: AND NOW
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH
582
00:23:58,103 --> 00:23:59,848
Announcer: AND NOW
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH
CHEVY CHASE.
583
00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:00,849
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH
CHEVY CHASE.
GOOD EVENING, I'M
584
00:24:00,873 --> 00:24:01,483
CHEVY CHASE.
GOOD EVENING, I'M
CHEVY CHASE.
585
00:24:01,507 --> 00:24:02,785
GOOD EVENING, I'M
CHEVY CHASE.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
586
00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:04,286
CHEVY CHASE.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
DEDICATION CEREMONIES FOR THE
587
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,921
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
DEDICATION CEREMONIES FOR THE
NEW TEAMSTERS UNION HEADQUARTERS
588
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,389
DEDICATION CEREMONIES FOR THE
NEW TEAMSTERS UNION HEADQUARTERS
BUILDING TOOK PLACE TODAY IN
589
00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:08,857
NEW TEAMSTERS UNION HEADQUARTERS
BUILDING TOOK PLACE TODAY IN
DETROIT, WHERE UNION PRESIDENT
590
00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:10,392
BUILDING TOOK PLACE TODAY IN
DETROIT, WHERE UNION PRESIDENT
FITZSIMMONS IS REPORTED TO HAVE
591
00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:11,693
DETROIT, WHERE UNION PRESIDENT
FITZSIMMONS IS REPORTED TO HAVE
SAID THAT FORMER PRESIDENT
592
00:24:11,717 --> 00:24:13,429
FITZSIMMONS IS REPORTED TO HAVE
SAID THAT FORMER PRESIDENT
JIMMY HOFFA WILL ALWAYS BE A
593
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:17,198
SAID THAT FORMER PRESIDENT
JIMMY HOFFA WILL ALWAYS BE A
CORNERSTONE IN THE ORGANIZATION.
594
00:24:17,222 --> 00:24:19,868
JIMMY HOFFA WILL ALWAYS BE A
CORNERSTONE IN THE ORGANIZATION.
NOW WORLD LEADERS IN THE NEWS.
595
00:24:19,892 --> 00:24:21,269
CORNERSTONE IN THE ORGANIZATION.
NOW WORLD LEADERS IN THE NEWS.
JAPAN EMPEROR HIROHITO MET
596
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,905
NOW WORLD LEADERS IN THE NEWS.
JAPAN EMPEROR HIROHITO MET
MICKEY MOUSE AT DISNEYLAND THIS
597
00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:23,505
JAPAN EMPEROR HIROHITO MET
MICKEY MOUSE AT DISNEYLAND THIS
WEEK.
598
00:24:23,529 --> 00:24:24,673
MICKEY MOUSE AT DISNEYLAND THIS
WEEK.
THE EMPEROR PRESENTED MICKEY
599
00:24:24,697 --> 00:24:28,043
WEEK.
THE EMPEROR PRESENTED MICKEY
WITH A HIROHITO WRISTWATCH.
600
00:24:28,067 --> 00:24:29,611
THE EMPEROR PRESENTED MICKEY
WITH A HIROHITO WRISTWATCH.
DATELINE WASHINGTON... AT A
601
00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:31,447
WITH A HIROHITO WRISTWATCH.
DATELINE WASHINGTON... AT A
PRESS CONFERENCE THURSDAY NIGHT,
602
00:24:31,471 --> 00:24:34,249
DATELINE WASHINGTON... AT A
PRESS CONFERENCE THURSDAY NIGHT,
PRESIDENT FORD BLEW HIS NOSE.
603
00:24:34,273 --> 00:24:35,717
PRESS CONFERENCE THURSDAY NIGHT,
PRESIDENT FORD BLEW HIS NOSE.
ALERT SECRET SERVICE AGENTS
604
00:24:35,741 --> 00:24:37,218
PRESIDENT FORD BLEW HIS NOSE.
ALERT SECRET SERVICE AGENTS
SEIZED HIS HANDKERCHIEF AND
605
00:24:37,242 --> 00:24:40,556
ALERT SECRET SERVICE AGENTS
SEIZED HIS HANDKERCHIEF AND
WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND.
606
00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:41,990
SEIZED HIS HANDKERCHIEF AND
WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND.
AND YESTERDAY IN WASHINGTON,
607
00:24:42,014 --> 00:24:43,459
WRESTLED IT TO THE GROUND.
AND YESTERDAY IN WASHINGTON,
PRESIDENT FORD BUMPED HIS HEAD
608
00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:44,827
AND YESTERDAY IN WASHINGTON,
PRESIDENT FORD BUMPED HIS HEAD
THREE TIMES GETTING INTO HIS
609
00:24:44,851 --> 00:24:45,627
PRESIDENT FORD BUMPED HIS HEAD
THREE TIMES GETTING INTO HIS
HELICOPTER.
610
00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:47,162
THREE TIMES GETTING INTO HIS
HELICOPTER.
THE CIA IMMEDIATELY DENIED
611
00:24:47,186 --> 00:24:49,030
HELICOPTER.
THE CIA IMMEDIATELY DENIED
REPORTS THAT IT HAD DELIBERATELY
612
00:24:49,054 --> 00:24:52,334
THE CIA IMMEDIATELY DENIED
REPORTS THAT IT HAD DELIBERATELY
LOWERED THE TOP OF THE DOORWAY.
613
00:24:52,358 --> 00:24:53,502
REPORTS THAT IT HAD DELIBERATELY
LOWERED THE TOP OF THE DOORWAY.
MR. FORD WAS ON THE CAMPAIGN
614
00:24:53,526 --> 00:24:54,670
LOWERED THE TOP OF THE DOORWAY.
MR. FORD WAS ON THE CAMPAIGN
TRAIL, ANNOUNCING IN DETROIT
615
00:24:54,694 --> 00:24:55,804
MR. FORD WAS ON THE CAMPAIGN
TRAIL, ANNOUNCING IN DETROIT
THAT HE HAS WRITTEN HIS OWN
616
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:58,239
TRAIL, ANNOUNCING IN DETROIT
THAT HE HAS WRITTEN HIS OWN
CAMPAIGN SLOGAN.
617
00:24:58,263 --> 00:24:59,575
THAT HE HAS WRITTEN HIS OWN
CAMPAIGN SLOGAN.
THE SLOGAN?
618
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:01,610
CAMPAIGN SLOGAN.
THE SLOGAN?
"IF HE'S SO DUMB, HOW COME HE'S
619
00:25:01,634 --> 00:25:09,634
THE SLOGAN?
"IF HE'S SO DUMB, HOW COME HE'S
PRESIDENT?"
620
00:25:10,042 --> 00:25:11,553
"IF HE'S SO DUMB, HOW COME HE'S
PRESIDENT?"
THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED
621
00:25:11,577 --> 00:25:12,788
PRESIDENT?"
THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED
TODAY...
622
00:25:12,812 --> 00:25:13,455
THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED
TODAY...
JUST A SECOND.
623
00:25:13,479 --> 00:25:14,389
TODAY...
JUST A SECOND.
I LOST MY PLACE.
624
00:25:14,413 --> 00:25:15,591
JUST A SECOND.
I LOST MY PLACE.
OH, THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED
625
00:25:15,615 --> 00:25:16,825
I LOST MY PLACE.
OH, THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED
TODAY THAT IT IS GOING TO ISSUE
626
00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:17,893
OH, THE POST OFFICE ANNOUNCED
TODAY THAT IT IS GOING TO ISSUE
A STAMP COMMEMORATING
627
00:25:17,917 --> 00:25:18,894
TODAY THAT IT IS GOING TO ISSUE
A STAMP COMMEMORATING
PROSTITUTION IN THE
628
00:25:18,918 --> 00:25:20,629
A STAMP COMMEMORATING
PROSTITUTION IN THE
UNITED STATES.
629
00:25:20,653 --> 00:25:22,030
PROSTITUTION IN THE
UNITED STATES.
IT'S A 10-CENT STAMP, BUT IF YOU
630
00:25:22,054 --> 00:25:25,174
UNITED STATES.
IT'S A 10-CENT STAMP, BUT IF YOU
WANT TO LICK IT, IT'S A QUARTER.
631
00:25:33,999 --> 00:25:37,713
MURDER AT THE BLAINE HOTEL
AGAIN.
FOR A LIVE REPORT, LET'S GO TO
632
00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:38,947
AGAIN.
FOR A LIVE REPORT, LET'S GO TO
LARAINE NEWMAN IN MIDTOWN
633
00:25:38,971 --> 00:25:40,649
FOR A LIVE REPORT, LET'S GO TO
LARAINE NEWMAN IN MIDTOWN
MANHATTAN AT THE BLAINE HOTEL.
634
00:25:40,673 --> 00:25:42,384
LARAINE NEWMAN IN MIDTOWN
MANHATTAN AT THE BLAINE HOTEL.
LARAINE?
635
00:25:42,408 --> 00:25:44,152
MANHATTAN AT THE BLAINE HOTEL.
LARAINE?
CHEVY, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE A
636
00:25:44,176 --> 00:25:45,754
LARAINE?
CHEVY, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE A
ROOM ON THE 15th FLOOR OF THE
637
00:25:45,778 --> 00:25:47,856
CHEVY, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE A
ROOM ON THE 15th FLOOR OF THE
BLAINE HOTEL, WHERE NUMBER 38 IN
638
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,892
ROOM ON THE 15th FLOOR OF THE
BLAINE HOTEL, WHERE NUMBER 38 IN
A SERIES OF GRISLY AND BIZARRE
639
00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:51,894
BLAINE HOTEL, WHERE NUMBER 38 IN
A SERIES OF GRISLY AND BIZARRE
MURDERS HAS OCCURRED JUST OVER
640
00:25:51,918 --> 00:25:53,628
A SERIES OF GRISLY AND BIZARRE
MURDERS HAS OCCURRED JUST OVER
AN HOUR AGO.
641
00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:56,020
THE MOTIVE, AGAIN... MURDER, AS
642
00:25:56,154 --> 00:25:58,155
IT HAS BEEN IN THE PREVIOUS 37
643
00:25:58,289 --> 00:25:59,356
SLASHINGS.
644
00:25:59,490 --> 00:26:00,891
IN A FIT OF PIQUE, THE MAYOR HAS
645
00:26:01,026 --> 00:26:02,726
CALLED THE BLAINE HOTEL A
646
00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:05,195
POCKMARK ON THE NECK OF MIDTOWN
647
00:26:05,329 --> 00:26:06,764
MANHATTAN.
648
00:26:07,032 --> 00:26:15,032
ONCE AGAIN, GRISLY DEATH AND
MURDER IN THE BLAINE HOTEL.
LARAINE NEWMAN REPORTING.
649
00:26:15,140 --> 00:26:16,785
MURDER IN THE BLAINE HOTEL.
LARAINE NEWMAN REPORTING.
STILL TO COME... EARTHQUAKE
650
00:26:16,809 --> 00:26:18,687
LARAINE NEWMAN REPORTING.
STILL TO COME... EARTHQUAKE
CLAIMS SAN DIEGO, 4 MILLION DIE
651
00:26:18,711 --> 00:26:20,556
STILL TO COME... EARTHQUAKE
CLAIMS SAN DIEGO, 4 MILLION DIE
IN TURKEY, AND ARLENE VISITS AN
652
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:25,527
CLAIMS SAN DIEGO, 4 MILLION DIE
IN TURKEY, AND ARLENE VISITS AN
ART MUSEUM.
653
00:26:25,551 --> 00:26:26,528
IN TURKEY, AND ARLENE VISITS AN
ART MUSEUM.
Announcer: ARTHRITIS IN THE
654
00:26:26,552 --> 00:26:29,865
ART MUSEUM.
Announcer: ARTHRITIS IN THE
ADULT IS PAINFUL, LONELY, AND
655
00:26:29,889 --> 00:26:32,167
Announcer: ARTHRITIS IN THE
ADULT IS PAINFUL, LONELY, AND
SOMETIMES DIFFICULT TO MANAGE.
656
00:26:32,191 --> 00:26:33,635
ADULT IS PAINFUL, LONELY, AND
SOMETIMES DIFFICULT TO MANAGE.
ARTHRITIS IS PARTICULARLY
657
00:26:33,659 --> 00:26:35,170
SOMETIMES DIFFICULT TO MANAGE.
ARTHRITIS IS PARTICULARLY
ANNOYING WHEN COUPLED WITH
658
00:26:35,194 --> 00:26:36,838
ARTHRITIS IS PARTICULARLY
ANNOYING WHEN COUPLED WITH
NEURALGIA AND SEVERE MUSCULAR
659
00:26:36,862 --> 00:26:38,239
ANNOYING WHEN COUPLED WITH
NEURALGIA AND SEVERE MUSCULAR
TENSION.
660
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:39,908
NEURALGIA AND SEVERE MUSCULAR
TENSION.
ABRUPT WEATHER CHANGES CAN ADD
661
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:40,909
TENSION.
ABRUPT WEATHER CHANGES CAN ADD
DISCOMFORT.
662
00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:43,411
ABRUPT WEATHER CHANGES CAN ADD
DISCOMFORT.
INFLAMED TISSUES CAN CAUSE LOCAL
663
00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:45,714
DISCOMFORT.
INFLAMED TISSUES CAN CAUSE LOCAL
SWELLING, CALLING FOR SPECIAL
664
00:26:45,738 --> 00:26:46,481
INFLAMED TISSUES CAN CAUSE LOCAL
SWELLING, CALLING FOR SPECIAL
RELIEF.
665
00:26:46,505 --> 00:26:48,617
SWELLING, CALLING FOR SPECIAL
RELIEF.
[DING!]
666
00:26:48,641 --> 00:26:50,752
RELIEF.
[DING!]
TRIOPENIN, A COMPOUND OF
667
00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:52,888
[DING!]
TRIOPENIN, A COMPOUND OF
POWERFUL ANTIARTHRITIC SPANSULES
668
00:26:52,912 --> 00:26:54,690
TRIOPENIN, A COMPOUND OF
POWERFUL ANTIARTHRITIC SPANSULES
AND ANTIHISTAMINES, SPEEDS
669
00:26:54,714 --> 00:26:56,758
POWERFUL ANTIARTHRITIC SPANSULES
AND ANTIHISTAMINES, SPEEDS
SOOTHING RELIEF WHERE NEEDED.
670
00:26:56,782 --> 00:26:58,493
AND ANTIHISTAMINES, SPEEDS
SOOTHING RELIEF WHERE NEEDED.
TRIOPENIN IS GENTLE,
671
00:26:58,517 --> 00:27:00,261
SOOTHING RELIEF WHERE NEEDED.
TRIOPENIN IS GENTLE,
NON-HABIT-FORMING, AIDS IN
672
00:27:00,285 --> 00:27:02,330
TRIOPENIN IS GENTLE,
NON-HABIT-FORMING, AIDS IN
SOOTHING MUSCLES AND LIBERATING
673
00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:04,265
NON-HABIT-FORMING, AIDS IN
SOOTHING MUSCLES AND LIBERATING
STIFF, PAINFUL JOINTS.
674
00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,101
SOOTHING MUSCLES AND LIBERATING
STIFF, PAINFUL JOINTS.
SOON, YOU'RE HANDLING LIFE
675
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,769
STIFF, PAINFUL JOINTS.
SOON, YOU'RE HANDLING LIFE
AGAIN, FEELING BETTER, AND
676
00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:09,504
SOON, YOU'RE HANDLING LIFE
AGAIN, FEELING BETTER, AND
GETTING A FIRM GRASP ON THE
677
00:27:09,528 --> 00:27:12,663
AGAIN, FEELING BETTER, AND
GETTING A FIRM GRASP ON THE
SITUATION.
678
00:27:12,931 --> 00:27:15,065
TRIOPENIN... GET YOUR HANDS
679
00:27:15,199 --> 00:27:16,466
WORKING AGAIN.
680
00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:18,502
NOW WITH A NEW CHILDPROOF SAFETY
681
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:19,136
CAP.
682
00:27:19,270 --> 00:27:22,072
[DING!]
683
00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:26,488
Announcer: GUESTS ON NBC's
"SATURDAY NIGHT" STAY AT THE
FABULOUS BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN
684
00:27:26,512 --> 00:27:26,989
"SATURDAY NIGHT" STAY AT THE
FABULOUS BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN
MANHATTAN.
685
00:27:27,013 --> 00:27:28,156
FABULOUS BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN
MANHATTAN.
THE BLAINE... A TRADITION FOR
686
00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:32,761
MANHATTAN.
THE BLAINE... A TRADITION FOR
MORE THAN HALF A CENTURY.
687
00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:34,329
THE BLAINE... A TRADITION FOR
MORE THAN HALF A CENTURY.
OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT
688
00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:35,998
MORE THAN HALF A CENTURY.
OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT
CONCERNS THE BIRTH OF A BABY
689
00:27:36,022 --> 00:27:38,033
OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT
CONCERNS THE BIRTH OF A BABY
SANDPIPER AT THE WASHINGTON ZOO.
690
00:27:38,057 --> 00:27:39,601
CONCERNS THE BIRTH OF A BABY
SANDPIPER AT THE WASHINGTON ZOO.
IT'S THE FIRST SUCH BIRTH IN
691
00:27:39,625 --> 00:27:41,003
SANDPIPER AT THE WASHINGTON ZOO.
IT'S THE FIRST SUCH BIRTH IN
CAPTIVITY ON RECORD.
692
00:27:41,027 --> 00:27:42,704
IT'S THE FIRST SUCH BIRTH IN
CAPTIVITY ON RECORD.
THE BABY CHICK MADE ITS DEBUT AT
693
00:27:42,728 --> 00:27:44,339
CAPTIVITY ON RECORD.
THE BABY CHICK MADE ITS DEBUT AT
9:18 THIS MORNING, WEIGHING IN
694
00:27:44,363 --> 00:27:45,607
THE BABY CHICK MADE ITS DEBUT AT
9:18 THIS MORNING, WEIGHING IN
AT JUST UNDER 14 GRAMS AND,
695
00:27:45,631 --> 00:27:46,975
9:18 THIS MORNING, WEIGHING IN
AT JUST UNDER 14 GRAMS AND,
ACCORDING TO ZOO OFFICIALS,
696
00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:48,276
AT JUST UNDER 14 GRAMS AND,
ACCORDING TO ZOO OFFICIALS,
RESEMBLED ITS MOTHER QUITE
697
00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:48,877
ACCORDING TO ZOO OFFICIALS,
RESEMBLED ITS MOTHER QUITE
CLOSELY.
698
00:27:48,901 --> 00:27:50,345
RESEMBLED ITS MOTHER QUITE
CLOSELY.
AND THE NAME GIVEN OUR FUZZY
699
00:27:50,369 --> 00:27:51,212
CLOSELY.
AND THE NAME GIVEN OUR FUZZY
LITTLE FRIEND?
700
00:27:51,236 --> 00:27:53,448
AND THE NAME GIVEN OUR FUZZY
LITTLE FRIEND?
SIMPLY "PIP."
701
00:27:53,472 --> 00:27:54,850
LITTLE FRIEND?
SIMPLY "PIP."
ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... THE BIRD
702
00:27:54,874 --> 00:27:56,217
SIMPLY "PIP."
ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... THE BIRD
WAS STEPPED ON AND CRUSHED TO
703
00:27:56,241 --> 00:27:57,686
ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... THE BIRD
WAS STEPPED ON AND CRUSHED TO
DEATH THIS AFTERNOON BY GOGGLES,
704
00:27:57,710 --> 00:27:59,187
WAS STEPPED ON AND CRUSHED TO
DEATH THIS AFTERNOON BY GOGGLES,
THE BABY HIPPO BORN IN CAPTIVITY
705
00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:00,822
DEATH THIS AFTERNOON BY GOGGLES,
THE BABY HIPPO BORN IN CAPTIVITY
LAST WEDNESDAY.
706
00:28:00,846 --> 00:28:02,490
THE BABY HIPPO BORN IN CAPTIVITY
LAST WEDNESDAY.
WELL, THAT'S NEWS THIS EVENING.
707
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:03,825
LAST WEDNESDAY.
WELL, THAT'S NEWS THIS EVENING.
THIS IS CHEVY CHASE.
708
00:28:03,849 --> 00:28:05,093
WELL, THAT'S NEWS THIS EVENING.
THIS IS CHEVY CHASE.
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT
709
00:28:05,117 --> 00:28:10,565
THIS IS CHEVY CHASE.
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.
710
00:28:10,589 --> 00:28:16,538
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
711
00:28:16,562 --> 00:28:18,140
TOMORROW.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Announcer: COME WITH US NOW
712
00:28:18,164 --> 00:28:19,841
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Announcer: COME WITH US NOW
FROM THE BUBBLING CARCASS TO THE
713
00:28:19,865 --> 00:28:21,409
Announcer: COME WITH US NOW
FROM THE BUBBLING CARCASS TO THE
SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM THE
714
00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:23,078
FROM THE BUBBLING CARCASS TO THE
SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM THE
ROTTING FOREST TO THE STAGNANT
715
00:28:23,102 --> 00:28:24,746
SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM THE
ROTTING FOREST TO THE STAGNANT
MUD FLATS.
716
00:28:24,770 --> 00:28:27,149
ROTTING FOREST TO THE STAGNANT
MUD FLATS.
FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO
717
00:28:27,173 --> 00:28:29,350
MUD FLATS.
FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO
THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM
718
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,853
FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO
THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM
THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE
719
00:28:31,877 --> 00:28:34,589
THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM
THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE
STAGNANT MUD FLATS, THIS LAND
720
00:28:34,613 --> 00:28:37,859
THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE
STAGNANT MUD FLATS, THIS LAND
WAS MADE FOR ME AND ME ONLY,
721
00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:41,429
STAGNANT MUD FLATS, THIS LAND
WAS MADE FOR ME AND ME ONLY,
SINCE I AM PLOOBIS, KING OF ALL
722
00:28:41,453 --> 00:28:42,864
WAS MADE FOR ME AND ME ONLY,
SINCE I AM PLOOBIS, KING OF ALL
I SURVEY.
723
00:28:42,888 --> 00:28:45,667
SINCE I AM PLOOBIS, KING OF ALL
I SURVEY.
HMM. OH.
724
00:28:45,691 --> 00:28:49,571
I SURVEY.
HMM. OH.
SCRED?! SCRED!
725
00:28:49,595 --> 00:28:51,639
HMM. OH.
SCRED?! SCRED!
YES, OH, HIGH SUPREME
726
00:28:51,663 --> 00:28:53,141
SCRED?! SCRED!
YES, OH, HIGH SUPREME
MUCKY-MUCK, SIR?
727
00:28:53,165 --> 00:28:54,576
YES, OH, HIGH SUPREME
MUCKY-MUCK, SIR?
SCRED, I'M HUNGRY.
728
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,344
MUCKY-MUCK, SIR?
SCRED, I'M HUNGRY.
OH. WHAT WOULD PLEASE
729
00:28:56,368 --> 00:28:58,580
SCRED, I'M HUNGRY.
OH. WHAT WOULD PLEASE
YOUR FLATULENCE?
730
00:28:58,604 --> 00:29:00,248
OH. WHAT WOULD PLEASE
YOUR FLATULENCE?
[CHOKING]
731
00:29:00,272 --> 00:29:02,117
YOUR FLATULENCE?
[CHOKING]
FOOD! SEE, I'M HUNGRY, AND
732
00:29:02,141 --> 00:29:03,685
[CHOKING]
FOOD! SEE, I'M HUNGRY, AND
WHEN I'M HUNGRY, I GET A
733
00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:04,285
FOOD! SEE, I'M HUNGRY, AND
WHEN I'M HUNGRY, I GET A
HEADACHE.
734
00:29:04,309 --> 00:29:05,653
WHEN I'M HUNGRY, I GET A
HEADACHE.
AND WHEN I GET A HEADACHE, I
735
00:29:05,677 --> 00:29:06,922
HEADACHE.
AND WHEN I GET A HEADACHE, I
GET, UH...
736
00:29:06,946 --> 00:29:08,056
AND WHEN I GET A HEADACHE, I
GET, UH...
FURIOUS?
737
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:08,556
GET, UH...
FURIOUS?
NO!
738
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:09,791
FURIOUS?
NO!
UH, ANGRY?
739
00:29:09,815 --> 00:29:10,458
NO!
UH, ANGRY?
NO!
740
00:29:10,482 --> 00:29:11,126
UH, ANGRY?
NO!
CRANKY?
741
00:29:11,150 --> 00:29:11,793
NO!
CRANKY?
NO!
742
00:29:11,817 --> 00:29:12,728
CRANKY?
NO!
PEEVISH?
743
00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:13,328
NO!
PEEVISH?
NO!
744
00:29:13,352 --> 00:29:14,162
PEEVISH?
NO!
IRKED?
745
00:29:14,186 --> 00:29:14,763
NO!
IRKED?
NO!
746
00:29:14,787 --> 00:29:16,098
IRKED?
NO!
MILDLY ANNOYED?
747
00:29:16,122 --> 00:29:17,999
NO!
MILDLY ANNOYED?
THAT'S IT!
748
00:29:18,023 --> 00:29:19,667
MILDLY ANNOYED?
THAT'S IT!
OH, THANK YOU, SIRE.
749
00:29:19,691 --> 00:29:21,469
THAT'S IT!
OH, THANK YOU, SIRE.
I GET MILDLY ANNOYED WHEN I
750
00:29:21,493 --> 00:29:23,304
OH, THANK YOU, SIRE.
I GET MILDLY ANNOYED WHEN I
DON'T HAVE FOOD.
751
00:29:23,328 --> 00:29:24,840
I GET MILDLY ANNOYED WHEN I
DON'T HAVE FOOD.
I'LL SEE TO IT IMMEDIATELY,
752
00:29:24,864 --> 00:29:26,274
DON'T HAVE FOOD.
I'LL SEE TO IT IMMEDIATELY,
YOUR GROSSNESS.
753
00:29:26,298 --> 00:29:28,810
I'LL SEE TO IT IMMEDIATELY,
YOUR GROSSNESS.
HMM.
754
00:29:28,834 --> 00:29:31,579
YOUR GROSSNESS.
HMM.
WELL, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT
755
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,648
HMM.
WELL, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT
PEUTA SHOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF.
756
00:29:33,672 --> 00:29:35,016
WELL, THIS IS SOMETHING THAT
PEUTA SHOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF.
I HEARD THAT!
757
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,418
PEUTA SHOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF.
I HEARD THAT!
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT
758
00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:39,520
I HEARD THAT!
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT
YOUR FOOD, ESPECIALLY IN MY
759
00:29:39,544 --> 00:29:40,488
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT
YOUR FOOD, ESPECIALLY IN MY
CONDITION.
760
00:29:40,512 --> 00:29:41,589
YOUR FOOD, ESPECIALLY IN MY
CONDITION.
HMM. [SNORTS]
761
00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:43,191
CONDITION.
HMM. [SNORTS]
I SAID, "ESPECIALLY IN MY
762
00:29:43,215 --> 00:29:43,959
HMM. [SNORTS]
I SAID, "ESPECIALLY IN MY
CONDITION."
763
00:29:43,983 --> 00:29:45,727
I SAID, "ESPECIALLY IN MY
CONDITION."
ESPECIALLY IN YOUR CONDITION.
764
00:29:45,751 --> 00:29:46,294
CONDITION."
ESPECIALLY IN YOUR CONDITION.
YES.
765
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:49,397
ESPECIALLY IN YOUR CONDITION.
YES.
WELL, AND WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
766
00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:50,365
YES.
WELL, AND WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
ME TO DO ABOUT IT?
767
00:29:50,389 --> 00:29:51,566
WELL, AND WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
ME TO DO ABOUT IT?
YOU'RE TOO OLD TO MOLT.
768
00:29:51,590 --> 00:29:54,069
ME TO DO ABOUT IT?
YOU'RE TOO OLD TO MOLT.
AAH! OH, PLOOBIS, I DON'T
769
00:29:54,093 --> 00:29:56,271
YOU'RE TOO OLD TO MOLT.
AAH! OH, PLOOBIS, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS.
770
00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:58,506
AAH! OH, PLOOBIS, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS.
I'M JUST NOT IN THE SWING OF
771
00:29:58,530 --> 00:29:59,474
KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS.
I'M JUST NOT IN THE SWING OF
THINGS.
772
00:29:59,498 --> 00:30:01,209
I'M JUST NOT IN THE SWING OF
THINGS.
I... YOU SEE... I'M HAVING
773
00:30:01,233 --> 00:30:03,311
THINGS.
I... YOU SEE... I'M HAVING
TREMENDOUS DIFFICULTY RELEASING
774
00:30:03,335 --> 00:30:06,248
I... YOU SEE... I'M HAVING
TREMENDOUS DIFFICULTY RELEASING
MY DARTS.
775
00:30:06,272 --> 00:30:08,016
TREMENDOUS DIFFICULTY RELEASING
MY DARTS.
RELEASING YOUR DARTS? UGH.
776
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,851
MY DARTS.
RELEASING YOUR DARTS? UGH.
WHAT... WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT
777
00:30:09,875 --> 00:30:10,385
RELEASING YOUR DARTS? UGH.
WHAT... WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT
THAT?
778
00:30:10,409 --> 00:30:12,254
WHAT... WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT
THAT?
WELL, GO TO THE MIGHTY FAVOG.
779
00:30:12,278 --> 00:30:14,689
THAT?
WELL, GO TO THE MIGHTY FAVOG.
HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN
780
00:30:14,713 --> 00:30:16,057
WELL, GO TO THE MIGHTY FAVOG.
HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN
RELIEVE MY PAIN.
781
00:30:16,081 --> 00:30:16,992
HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN
RELIEVE MY PAIN.
MM-HMM.
782
00:30:17,016 --> 00:30:19,127
RELIEVE MY PAIN.
MM-HMM.
YOUR PAIN IS MY PAIN, MY DEAR.
783
00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:20,395
MM-HMM.
YOUR PAIN IS MY PAIN, MY DEAR.
[CHUCKLES]
784
00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:23,165
YOUR PAIN IS MY PAIN, MY DEAR.
[CHUCKLES]
WELL, I'M GOING TO LIE DOWN NOW.
785
00:30:23,189 --> 00:30:25,801
[CHUCKLES]
WELL, I'M GOING TO LIE DOWN NOW.
PERHAPS THE DARTS WILL LOOSEN.
786
00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:26,768
WELL, I'M GOING TO LIE DOWN NOW.
PERHAPS THE DARTS WILL LOOSEN.
AH.
787
00:30:26,792 --> 00:30:28,503
PERHAPS THE DARTS WILL LOOSEN.
AH.
UH, WOULD IT HELP IF I
788
00:30:28,527 --> 00:30:30,038
AH.
UH, WOULD IT HELP IF I
MASSAGED YOUR MOOGIES?
789
00:30:30,062 --> 00:30:32,274
UH, WOULD IT HELP IF I
MASSAGED YOUR MOOGIES?
OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!
790
00:30:32,298 --> 00:30:35,076
MASSAGED YOUR MOOGIES?
OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!
ONLY JOKING, ONLY KIDDING,
791
00:30:35,100 --> 00:30:36,444
OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!
ONLY JOKING, ONLY KIDDING,
YOUR MAJESTY!
792
00:30:36,468 --> 00:30:37,813
ONLY JOKING, ONLY KIDDING,
YOUR MAJESTY!
DON'T SAY THAT IF YOU DON'T
793
00:30:37,837 --> 00:30:38,613
YOUR MAJESTY!
DON'T SAY THAT IF YOU DON'T
MEAN IT.
794
00:30:38,637 --> 00:30:40,315
DON'T SAY THAT IF YOU DON'T
MEAN IT.
YES, SIRE.
795
00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:41,549
MEAN IT.
YES, SIRE.
AH, THERE WE ARE.
796
00:30:41,573 --> 00:30:43,084
YES, SIRE.
AH, THERE WE ARE.
WELL, HERE'S YOUR FOOD,
797
00:30:43,108 --> 00:30:43,718
AH, THERE WE ARE.
WELL, HERE'S YOUR FOOD,
PLOOBIS.
798
00:30:43,742 --> 00:30:46,587
WELL, HERE'S YOUR FOOD,
PLOOBIS.
WELL, THANK YOU, VAZH.
799
00:30:46,611 --> 00:30:47,755
PLOOBIS.
WELL, THANK YOU, VAZH.
OH, WHAT YOU GOT HERE?
800
00:30:47,779 --> 00:30:49,191
WELL, THANK YOU, VAZH.
OH, WHAT YOU GOT HERE?
OKAY.
801
00:30:49,215 --> 00:30:50,192
OH, WHAT YOU GOT HERE?
OKAY.
LET GO OF IT, WOULD YOU?
802
00:30:50,216 --> 00:30:51,626
OKAY.
LET GO OF IT, WOULD YOU?
MM-MMM!
803
00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:52,794
LET GO OF IT, WOULD YOU?
MM-MMM!
[SMACKING LIPS]
804
00:30:52,818 --> 00:30:54,629
MM-MMM!
[SMACKING LIPS]
AH, MM-MMM!
805
00:30:54,653 --> 00:30:56,097
[SMACKING LIPS]
AH, MM-MMM!
WELL, IT TASTES LIKE BOILED
806
00:30:56,121 --> 00:30:57,765
AH, MM-MMM!
WELL, IT TASTES LIKE BOILED
KLEENEX.
807
00:30:57,789 --> 00:31:00,135
WELL, IT TASTES LIKE BOILED
KLEENEX.
MM-MMM.
808
00:31:00,159 --> 00:31:01,336
KLEENEX.
MM-MMM.
THIS TASTES FAMILIAR.
809
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:02,637
MM-MMM.
THIS TASTES FAMILIAR.
IS THIS ANYBODY I KNOW?
810
00:31:02,661 --> 00:31:04,039
THIS TASTES FAMILIAR.
IS THIS ANYBODY I KNOW?
WILL YOU WANT DESSERT,
811
00:31:04,063 --> 00:31:05,106
IS THIS ANYBODY I KNOW?
WILL YOU WANT DESSERT,
PLOOBIS?
812
00:31:05,130 --> 00:31:06,774
WILL YOU WANT DESSERT,
PLOOBIS?
UH...
813
00:31:06,798 --> 00:31:09,945
PLOOBIS?
UH...
WHAT I WANT, ANGEL BUNS, IS NOT
814
00:31:09,969 --> 00:31:12,314
UH...
WHAT I WANT, ANGEL BUNS, IS NOT
ON THE MENU.
815
00:31:12,338 --> 00:31:13,548
WHAT I WANT, ANGEL BUNS, IS NOT
ON THE MENU.
COME HERE, YOU.
816
00:31:13,572 --> 00:31:17,285
ON THE MENU.
COME HERE, YOU.
MMM, YEAH. OH, SWEETHEART.
817
00:31:17,309 --> 00:31:18,320
COME HERE, YOU.
MMM, YEAH. OH, SWEETHEART.
MM-MMM.
818
00:31:18,344 --> 00:31:19,988
MMM, YEAH. OH, SWEETHEART.
MM-MMM.
PLOOBIS!
819
00:31:20,012 --> 00:31:21,522
MM-MMM.
PLOOBIS!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
820
00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:22,858
PLOOBIS!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
UH, WELL, UH...
821
00:31:22,882 --> 00:31:24,926
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
UH, WELL, UH...
[THUD]
822
00:31:24,950 --> 00:31:25,994
UH, WELL, UH...
[THUD]
EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.
823
00:31:26,018 --> 00:31:27,562
[THUD]
EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.
UH. I WAS JUST ON MY WAY TO
824
00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:29,430
EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.
UH. I WAS JUST ON MY WAY TO
THE MIGHTY FAVOG, YOU SEE.
825
00:31:29,454 --> 00:31:32,934
UH. I WAS JUST ON MY WAY TO
THE MIGHTY FAVOG, YOU SEE.
[GONG BANGS]
826
00:31:32,958 --> 00:31:36,371
THE MIGHTY FAVOG, YOU SEE.
[GONG BANGS]
THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG.
827
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:40,608
[GONG BANGS]
THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG.
HOW MANY IN YOUR PARTY?
828
00:31:40,632 --> 00:31:42,944
THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG.
HOW MANY IN YOUR PARTY?
UH... UH... ONE...
829
00:31:42,968 --> 00:31:44,246
HOW MANY IN YOUR PARTY?
UH... UH... ONE...
ME AND SCRED.
830
00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:46,948
UH... UH... ONE...
ME AND SCRED.
TALK TO ME.
831
00:31:46,972 --> 00:31:49,217
ME AND SCRED.
TALK TO ME.
OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, I GOT A
832
00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:50,118
TALK TO ME.
OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, I GOT A
PROBLEM.
833
00:31:50,142 --> 00:31:52,387
OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, I GOT A
PROBLEM.
BUSINESS, SPORTS, OR
834
00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:53,355
PROBLEM.
BUSINESS, SPORTS, OR
PERSONAL?
835
00:31:53,379 --> 00:31:55,857
BUSINESS, SPORTS, OR
PERSONAL?
UH... SCRED?
836
00:31:55,881 --> 00:31:57,825
PERSONAL?
UH... SCRED?
MEDICAL, YOUR GROSSNESS.
837
00:31:57,849 --> 00:31:58,426
UH... SCRED?
MEDICAL, YOUR GROSSNESS.
MMM.
838
00:31:58,450 --> 00:32:01,396
MEDICAL, YOUR GROSSNESS.
MMM.
OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, IT'S MEDICAL.
839
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:02,230
MMM.
OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, IT'S MEDICAL.
MEDICAL.
840
00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:02,864
OH, MIGHTY FAVOG, IT'S MEDICAL.
MEDICAL.
MMM.
841
00:32:02,888 --> 00:32:06,501
MEDICAL.
MMM.
IT'S GONNA COST YOU...
842
00:32:06,525 --> 00:32:09,570
MMM.
IT'S GONNA COST YOU...
THREE CHICKENS, TWO SWANS, AND A
843
00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:10,671
IT'S GONNA COST YOU...
THREE CHICKENS, TWO SWANS, AND A
DUCK.
844
00:32:10,695 --> 00:32:14,209
THREE CHICKENS, TWO SWANS, AND A
DUCK.
HOLY GUACAMOLE.
845
00:32:14,233 --> 00:32:15,777
DUCK.
HOLY GUACAMOLE.
WHAT YOU GOT ON YOU, SCRED?
846
00:32:15,801 --> 00:32:17,979
HOLY GUACAMOLE.
WHAT YOU GOT ON YOU, SCRED?
JUST TWO CHICKENS, BUT THAT'S
847
00:32:18,003 --> 00:32:20,181
WHAT YOU GOT ON YOU, SCRED?
JUST TWO CHICKENS, BUT THAT'S
CARFARE HOME.
848
00:32:20,205 --> 00:32:22,050
JUST TWO CHICKENS, BUT THAT'S
CARFARE HOME.
OH, FAVOG, I OFFER YOU TWO
849
00:32:22,074 --> 00:32:23,718
CARFARE HOME.
OH, FAVOG, I OFFER YOU TWO
CHICKENS... IT'S ALL I GOT.
850
00:32:23,742 --> 00:32:24,886
OH, FAVOG, I OFFER YOU TWO
CHICKENS... IT'S ALL I GOT.
[SNIFFLES]
851
00:32:24,910 --> 00:32:26,254
CHICKENS... IT'S ALL I GOT.
[SNIFFLES]
BUSINESS IS SLOW.
852
00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:28,423
[SNIFFLES]
BUSINESS IS SLOW.
I'LL TAKE 'EM.
853
00:32:28,447 --> 00:32:29,857
BUSINESS IS SLOW.
I'LL TAKE 'EM.
PAY HIM THE CHICKENS.
854
00:32:29,881 --> 00:32:31,893
I'LL TAKE 'EM.
PAY HIM THE CHICKENS.
OH, OKAY, BUT, PHOOEY,
855
00:32:31,917 --> 00:32:33,194
PAY HIM THE CHICKENS.
OH, OKAY, BUT, PHOOEY,
ANYWAY.
856
00:32:33,218 --> 00:32:34,396
OH, OKAY, BUT, PHOOEY,
ANYWAY.
ARE YOU READY?
857
00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:35,696
ANYWAY.
ARE YOU READY?
LAY 'EM ON YOUR GOD.
858
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,765
ARE YOU READY?
LAY 'EM ON YOUR GOD.
HERE THEY COME.
859
00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:39,434
LAY 'EM ON YOUR GOD.
HERE THEY COME.
[LIQUID SPLASHES]
860
00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:43,471
HERE THEY COME.
[LIQUID SPLASHES]
[FLUSHING]
861
00:32:43,495 --> 00:32:45,340
[LIQUID SPLASHES]
[FLUSHING]
[BELCHES]
862
00:32:45,364 --> 00:32:46,541
[FLUSHING]
[BELCHES]
[RUMBLING]
863
00:32:46,565 --> 00:32:47,775
[BELCHES]
[RUMBLING]
ALL RIGHT.
864
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:49,945
[RUMBLING]
ALL RIGHT.
STATE YOUR PROBLEM.
865
00:32:49,969 --> 00:32:53,014
ALL RIGHT.
STATE YOUR PROBLEM.
OH, FAVOG, MY CHARMING WIFE,
866
00:32:53,038 --> 00:32:55,550
STATE YOUR PROBLEM.
OH, FAVOG, MY CHARMING WIFE,
PEUTA, CAN'T RELEASE HER DARTS.
867
00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:59,720
OH, FAVOG, MY CHARMING WIFE,
PEUTA, CAN'T RELEASE HER DARTS.
HMM. ALL RIGHT.
868
00:32:59,744 --> 00:33:01,423
PEUTA, CAN'T RELEASE HER DARTS.
HMM. ALL RIGHT.
YOU READY?
869
00:33:01,447 --> 00:33:03,024
HMM. ALL RIGHT.
YOU READY?
Both: WE ARE READY, OH,
870
00:33:03,048 --> 00:33:05,526
YOU READY?
Both: WE ARE READY, OH,
MIGHTY FAVOG!
871
00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:06,361
Both: WE ARE READY, OH,
MIGHTY FAVOG!
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
872
00:33:06,385 --> 00:33:10,098
MIGHTY FAVOG!
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
HERE IS THE ANSWER!
873
00:33:10,122 --> 00:33:11,566
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
HERE IS THE ANSWER!
YEAH?
874
00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:12,633
HERE IS THE ANSWER!
YEAH?
CHEER UP.
875
00:33:12,657 --> 00:33:14,635
YEAH?
CHEER UP.
THINGS COULD BE WORSE.
876
00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:17,505
CHEER UP.
THINGS COULD BE WORSE.
[GONG BANGS]
877
00:33:17,529 --> 00:33:19,140
THINGS COULD BE WORSE.
[GONG BANGS]
FOR THAT, I PAID TWO
878
00:33:19,164 --> 00:33:20,675
[GONG BANGS]
FOR THAT, I PAID TWO
CHICKENS?
879
00:33:20,699 --> 00:33:22,444
FOR THAT, I PAID TWO
CHICKENS?
LIKE I SAID... CHEER UP.
880
00:33:22,468 --> 00:33:23,411
CHICKENS?
LIKE I SAID... CHEER UP.
THINGS COULD BE WORSE.
881
00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:24,479
LIKE I SAID... CHEER UP.
THINGS COULD BE WORSE.
YOU COULD HAVE PAID FOUR
882
00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:25,913
THINGS COULD BE WORSE.
YOU COULD HAVE PAID FOUR
CHICKENS.
883
00:33:25,937 --> 00:33:26,914
YOU COULD HAVE PAID FOUR
CHICKENS.
NEXT!
884
00:33:26,938 --> 00:33:29,317
CHICKENS.
NEXT!
WELL, YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.
885
00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:30,418
NEXT!
WELL, YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.
YEAH, BUT...
886
00:33:30,442 --> 00:33:32,553
WELL, YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.
YEAH, BUT...
I'M HERE EVERY DAY.
887
00:33:32,577 --> 00:33:34,822
YEAH, BUT...
I'M HERE EVERY DAY.
TELL YOUR FRIENDS.
888
00:33:34,846 --> 00:33:37,326
I'M HERE EVERY DAY.
TELL YOUR FRIENDS.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
889
00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:43,887
[BAND PLAYS]
890
00:33:53,398 --> 00:33:58,279
DID YOU EVER DIAL THE PHONE
AND FORGET WHO YOU'RE CALLING?
[LAUGHTER]
891
00:33:58,303 --> 00:33:59,247
AND FORGET WHO YOU'RE CALLING?
[LAUGHTER]
DON'T YOU FEEL DUMB?
892
00:33:59,271 --> 00:34:00,615
[LAUGHTER]
DON'T YOU FEEL DUMB?
YOU DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HANG
893
00:34:00,639 --> 00:34:01,916
DON'T YOU FEEL DUMB?
YOU DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HANG
ON AND HOPE YOU RECOGNIZE THE
894
00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:04,219
YOU DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HANG
ON AND HOPE YOU RECOGNIZE THE
VOICE OR NOT.
895
00:34:04,243 --> 00:34:05,253
ON AND HOPE YOU RECOGNIZE THE
VOICE OR NOT.
THEN, WHEN YOU REMEMBER WHO IT
896
00:34:05,277 --> 00:34:06,254
VOICE OR NOT.
THEN, WHEN YOU REMEMBER WHO IT
WAS, YOU HAVE TO CALL BACK, SO
897
00:34:06,278 --> 00:34:07,255
THEN, WHEN YOU REMEMBER WHO IT
WAS, YOU HAVE TO CALL BACK, SO
YOU CHANGE YOUR VOICE SO THEY
898
00:34:07,279 --> 00:34:08,390
WAS, YOU HAVE TO CALL BACK, SO
YOU CHANGE YOUR VOICE SO THEY
DON'T THINK YOU'RE A MORON,
899
00:34:08,414 --> 00:34:08,890
YOU CHANGE YOUR VOICE SO THEY
DON'T THINK YOU'RE A MORON,
RIGHT?
900
00:34:08,914 --> 00:34:09,824
DON'T THINK YOU'RE A MORON,
RIGHT?
[LAUGHTER]
901
00:34:09,848 --> 00:34:12,827
RIGHT?
[LAUGHTER]
DID YOU EVER LOOK AT YOURSELF IN
902
00:34:12,851 --> 00:34:14,095
[LAUGHTER]
DID YOU EVER LOOK AT YOURSELF IN
STORE WINDOWS WHEN YOU'RE
903
00:34:14,119 --> 00:34:16,564
DID YOU EVER LOOK AT YOURSELF IN
STORE WINDOWS WHEN YOU'RE
WALKING PAST THE STORES?
904
00:34:16,588 --> 00:34:17,765
STORE WINDOWS WHEN YOU'RE
WALKING PAST THE STORES?
"HEY, I LOOK COOL IN THE STORE
905
00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:18,400
WALKING PAST THE STORES?
"HEY, I LOOK COOL IN THE STORE
WINDOW, MAN!"
906
00:34:18,424 --> 00:34:19,367
"HEY, I LOOK COOL IN THE STORE
WINDOW, MAN!"
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
907
00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:21,136
WINDOW, MAN!"
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
HAVE I DONE THESE JOKES BEFORE
908
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:22,470
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
HAVE I DONE THESE JOKES BEFORE
TONIGHT?
909
00:34:22,494 --> 00:34:26,141
HAVE I DONE THESE JOKES BEFORE
TONIGHT?
[LAUGHTER]
910
00:34:26,165 --> 00:34:31,579
TONIGHT?
[LAUGHTER]
PLEASE, TELL ME.
911
00:34:31,603 --> 00:34:35,583
[LAUGHTER]
PLEASE, TELL ME.
WHY IS THERE NO BLUE FOOD?
912
00:34:35,607 --> 00:34:36,951
PLEASE, TELL ME.
WHY IS THERE NO BLUE FOOD?
I CAN'T FIND BLUE FOOD.
913
00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:38,520
WHY IS THERE NO BLUE FOOD?
I CAN'T FIND BLUE FOOD.
I CAN'T FIND THE FLAVOR OF BLUE.
914
00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:39,354
I CAN'T FIND BLUE FOOD.
I CAN'T FIND THE FLAVOR OF BLUE.
I MEAN, GREEN IS LIME.
915
00:34:39,378 --> 00:34:40,021
I CAN'T FIND THE FLAVOR OF BLUE.
I MEAN, GREEN IS LIME.
YELLOW IS LEMON.
916
00:34:40,045 --> 00:34:40,688
I MEAN, GREEN IS LIME.
YELLOW IS LEMON.
ORANGE IS ORANGE.
917
00:34:40,712 --> 00:34:41,289
YELLOW IS LEMON.
ORANGE IS ORANGE.
RED IS CHERRY.
918
00:34:41,313 --> 00:34:42,290
ORANGE IS ORANGE.
RED IS CHERRY.
WHAT'S BLUE? THERE'S NO BLUE!
919
00:34:42,314 --> 00:34:43,291
RED IS CHERRY.
WHAT'S BLUE? THERE'S NO BLUE!
OH, THEY SAY, "BLUEBERRIES!"
920
00:34:43,315 --> 00:34:44,192
WHAT'S BLUE? THERE'S NO BLUE!
OH, THEY SAY, "BLUEBERRIES!"
UNH-UNH. BLUE ON THE VINE...
921
00:34:44,216 --> 00:34:44,926
OH, THEY SAY, "BLUEBERRIES!"
UNH-UNH. BLUE ON THE VINE...
PURPLE ON THE PLATE.
922
00:34:44,950 --> 00:34:46,594
UNH-UNH. BLUE ON THE VINE...
PURPLE ON THE PLATE.
THERE'S NO BLUE FOOD, MAN.
923
00:34:46,618 --> 00:34:47,495
PURPLE ON THE PLATE.
THERE'S NO BLUE FOOD, MAN.
[LAUGHTER]
924
00:34:47,519 --> 00:34:48,996
THERE'S NO BLUE FOOD, MAN.
[LAUGHTER]
WHERE IS THE BLUE FOOD?
925
00:34:49,020 --> 00:34:52,167
[LAUGHTER]
WHERE IS THE BLUE FOOD?
WE WANT THE BLUE FOOD!
926
00:34:52,191 --> 00:34:53,501
WHERE IS THE BLUE FOOD?
WE WANT THE BLUE FOOD!
PROBABLY, IT RESTORES
927
00:34:53,525 --> 00:34:54,502
WE WANT THE BLUE FOOD!
PROBABLY, IT RESTORES
IMMORTALITY.
928
00:34:54,526 --> 00:34:56,971
PROBABLY, IT RESTORES
IMMORTALITY.
THEY'RE KEEPING IT FROM US.
929
00:34:56,995 --> 00:34:58,440
IMMORTALITY.
THEY'RE KEEPING IT FROM US.
"CAN I HAVE THE BLUE FOOD,
930
00:34:58,464 --> 00:34:59,006
THEY'RE KEEPING IT FROM US.
"CAN I HAVE THE BLUE FOOD,
PLEASE?"
931
00:34:59,030 --> 00:35:01,076
"CAN I HAVE THE BLUE FOOD,
PLEASE?"
I'LL TAKE MY VITAMIN.
932
00:35:01,100 --> 00:35:02,177
PLEASE?"
I'LL TAKE MY VITAMIN.
DO YOU TAKE VITAMINS?
933
00:35:02,201 --> 00:35:03,378
I'LL TAKE MY VITAMIN.
DO YOU TAKE VITAMINS?
DID YOU EVER TRAVEL WITH
934
00:35:03,402 --> 00:35:03,978
DO YOU TAKE VITAMINS?
DID YOU EVER TRAVEL WITH
VITAMINS?
935
00:35:04,002 --> 00:35:05,646
DID YOU EVER TRAVEL WITH
VITAMINS?
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
936
00:35:05,670 --> 00:35:06,914
VITAMINS?
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
OH, WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU TAKE A
937
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:08,183
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
OH, WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU TAKE A
LOT OF VITAMINS AND THEY'RE NOT
938
00:35:08,207 --> 00:35:09,016
OH, WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU TAKE A
LOT OF VITAMINS AND THEY'RE NOT
THE KIND THAT SAYS,
939
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:10,285
LOT OF VITAMINS AND THEY'RE NOT
THE KIND THAT SAYS,
"JOE'S VITAMIN" ON THE SIDE BUT
940
00:35:10,309 --> 00:35:13,154
THE KIND THAT SAYS,
"JOE'S VITAMIN" ON THE SIDE BUT
PLAIN-LOOKING VITAMINS... AND
941
00:35:13,178 --> 00:35:14,189
"JOE'S VITAMIN" ON THE SIDE BUT
PLAIN-LOOKING VITAMINS... AND
YOU HAVE A WHOLE LOT, AND YOU
942
00:35:14,213 --> 00:35:15,256
PLAIN-LOOKING VITAMINS... AND
YOU HAVE A WHOLE LOT, AND YOU
DON'T TAKE THE WHOLE BIG JUMBO
943
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:16,357
YOU HAVE A WHOLE LOT, AND YOU
DON'T TAKE THE WHOLE BIG JUMBO
THING ON THE ROAD... YOU TAKE AS
944
00:35:16,381 --> 00:35:17,658
DON'T TAKE THE WHOLE BIG JUMBO
THING ON THE ROAD... YOU TAKE AS
MANY AS YOU NEED, AND THEY'RE
945
00:35:17,682 --> 00:35:18,293
THING ON THE ROAD... YOU TAKE AS
MANY AS YOU NEED, AND THEY'RE
NOT MARKED.
946
00:35:18,317 --> 00:35:19,527
MANY AS YOU NEED, AND THEY'RE
NOT MARKED.
AND THE JAR YOU PUT THEM IN
947
00:35:19,551 --> 00:35:20,228
NOT MARKED.
AND THE JAR YOU PUT THEM IN
ISN'T MARKED.
948
00:35:20,252 --> 00:35:22,297
AND THE JAR YOU PUT THEM IN
ISN'T MARKED.
AND IF A POLICEMAN REALLY WANTS
949
00:35:22,321 --> 00:35:24,365
ISN'T MARKED.
AND IF A POLICEMAN REALLY WANTS
TO GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, HE CAN
950
00:35:24,389 --> 00:35:25,467
AND IF A POLICEMAN REALLY WANTS
TO GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, HE CAN
HOLD YOU OVERNIGHT WHILE THEY
951
00:35:25,491 --> 00:35:26,234
TO GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, HE CAN
HOLD YOU OVERNIGHT WHILE THEY
CHECK THE VITAMINS.
952
00:35:26,258 --> 00:35:27,768
HOLD YOU OVERNIGHT WHILE THEY
CHECK THE VITAMINS.
THAT'S WHY I TRAVEL WITH
953
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:29,370
CHECK THE VITAMINS.
THAT'S WHY I TRAVEL WITH
FLINTSTONES VITAMINS!
954
00:35:29,394 --> 00:35:32,974
THAT'S WHY I TRAVEL WITH
FLINTSTONES VITAMINS!
[LAUGHTER]
955
00:35:32,998 --> 00:35:34,375
FLINTSTONES VITAMINS!
[LAUGHTER]
THE TERM "JUMBO SHRIMP" HAS
956
00:35:34,399 --> 00:35:35,343
[LAUGHTER]
THE TERM "JUMBO SHRIMP" HAS
ALWAYS AMAZED ME.
957
00:35:35,367 --> 00:35:38,346
THE TERM "JUMBO SHRIMP" HAS
ALWAYS AMAZED ME.
WHAT IS A JUMBO SHRIMP?
958
00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:39,547
ALWAYS AMAZED ME.
WHAT IS A JUMBO SHRIMP?
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE "MILITARY
959
00:35:39,571 --> 00:35:40,948
WHAT IS A JUMBO SHRIMP?
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE "MILITARY
INTELLIGENCE"... THE WORDS DON'T
960
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,217
I MEAN, IT'S LIKE "MILITARY
INTELLIGENCE"... THE WORDS DON'T
GO TOGETHER, MAN.
961
00:35:42,241 --> 00:35:45,121
INTELLIGENCE"... THE WORDS DON'T
GO TOGETHER, MAN.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
962
00:35:59,957 --> 00:36:01,758
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
963
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,134
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
Announcer: NEW YORK CAB
DRIVER, TEMPORARILY BLINDED,
964
00:36:33,158 --> 00:36:35,770
Announcer: NEW YORK CAB
DRIVER, TEMPORARILY BLINDED,
STILL PUTS IN 45-HOUR WEEK.
965
00:36:35,794 --> 00:36:37,138
DRIVER, TEMPORARILY BLINDED,
STILL PUTS IN 45-HOUR WEEK.
EXCUSE ME.
966
00:36:37,162 --> 00:36:38,473
STILL PUTS IN 45-HOUR WEEK.
EXCUSE ME.
HMM?
967
00:36:38,497 --> 00:36:39,374
EXCUSE ME.
HMM?
SIR?
968
00:36:39,398 --> 00:36:41,276
HMM?
SIR?
YES, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO YOU?
969
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:42,610
SIR?
YES, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO YOU?
WELL, I WAS TAKING A FARE TO
970
00:36:42,634 --> 00:36:43,811
YES, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO YOU?
WELL, I WAS TAKING A FARE TO
ONE OF THOSE MOVIE PREMIERES,
971
00:36:43,835 --> 00:36:44,379
WELL, I WAS TAKING A FARE TO
ONE OF THOSE MOVIE PREMIERES,
YOU KNOW.
972
00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:45,513
ONE OF THOSE MOVIE PREMIERES,
YOU KNOW.
YOU KNOW THEM BIG SPOTLIGHTS?
973
00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:46,581
YOU KNOW.
YOU KNOW THEM BIG SPOTLIGHTS?
WHERE THEY HAVE THE LIGHTS IN
974
00:36:46,605 --> 00:36:47,081
YOU KNOW THEM BIG SPOTLIGHTS?
WHERE THEY HAVE THE LIGHTS IN
THE SKY?
975
00:36:47,105 --> 00:36:47,582
WHERE THEY HAVE THE LIGHTS IN
THE SKY?
YEAH.
976
00:36:47,606 --> 00:36:48,216
THE SKY?
YEAH.
YEAH, RIGHT.
977
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:49,217
YEAH.
YEAH, RIGHT.
I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW THEY
978
00:36:49,241 --> 00:36:50,285
YEAH, RIGHT.
I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW THEY
GET 'EM SO BRIGHT, SO I WENT AND
979
00:36:50,309 --> 00:36:50,951
I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW THEY
GET 'EM SO BRIGHT, SO I WENT AND
STARED INTO IT.
980
00:36:50,975 --> 00:36:52,387
GET 'EM SO BRIGHT, SO I WENT AND
STARED INTO IT.
YEAH? STARED INTO THE LIGHT?
981
00:36:52,411 --> 00:36:52,887
STARED INTO IT.
YEAH? STARED INTO THE LIGHT?
YEAH.
982
00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:53,688
YEAH? STARED INTO THE LIGHT?
YEAH.
FOR HOW LONG?
983
00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:54,755
YEAH.
FOR HOW LONG?
ABOUT A HALF AN HOUR.
984
00:36:54,779 --> 00:36:55,256
FOR HOW LONG?
ABOUT A HALF AN HOUR.
YEAH?
985
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:56,524
ABOUT A HALF AN HOUR.
YEAH?
THE DOCTOR SAYS IT'S ONLY
986
00:36:56,548 --> 00:36:57,091
YEAH?
THE DOCTOR SAYS IT'S ONLY
TEMPORARY.
987
00:36:57,115 --> 00:36:58,193
THE DOCTOR SAYS IT'S ONLY
TEMPORARY.
MY SIGHT WILL PROBABLY COME
988
00:36:58,217 --> 00:36:58,726
TEMPORARY.
MY SIGHT WILL PROBABLY COME
BACK.
989
00:36:58,750 --> 00:36:59,727
MY SIGHT WILL PROBABLY COME
BACK.
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
990
00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:00,928
BACK.
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
AND YET YOU STILL DRIVE?
991
00:37:00,952 --> 00:37:02,330
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
AND YET YOU STILL DRIVE?
DAMN RIGHT I STILL DRIVE!
992
00:37:02,354 --> 00:37:04,165
AND YET YOU STILL DRIVE?
DAMN RIGHT I STILL DRIVE!
WHAT SHOULD I DO... SIT HOME AND
993
00:37:04,189 --> 00:37:05,200
DAMN RIGHT I STILL DRIVE!
WHAT SHOULD I DO... SIT HOME AND
COLLECT WELFARE?
994
00:37:05,224 --> 00:37:06,867
WHAT SHOULD I DO... SIT HOME AND
COLLECT WELFARE?
I KNOW THESE STREETS LIKE THE
995
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,203
COLLECT WELFARE?
I KNOW THESE STREETS LIKE THE
BACK OF MY HAND.
996
00:37:08,227 --> 00:37:08,736
I KNOW THESE STREETS LIKE THE
BACK OF MY HAND.
YEAH?
997
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:09,470
BACK OF MY HAND.
YEAH?
THAT'S RIGHT.
998
00:37:09,494 --> 00:37:11,239
YEAH?
THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
999
00:37:11,263 --> 00:37:12,207
THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
1000
00:37:12,231 --> 00:37:13,308
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
THANK YOU.
YEAH.
1001
00:37:13,332 --> 00:37:14,542
THANK YOU.
YEAH.
56th AND MADISON.
1002
00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:15,876
YEAH.
56th AND MADISON.
GOT TO GO NOW, PAL.
1003
00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:16,511
56th AND MADISON.
GOT TO GO NOW, PAL.
GOT A FARE.
1004
00:37:16,535 --> 00:37:17,111
GOT TO GO NOW, PAL.
GOT A FARE.
OKAY.
1005
00:37:17,135 --> 00:37:18,580
GOT A FARE.
OKAY.
ANY CARS IN FRONT OF US?
1006
00:37:18,604 --> 00:37:20,147
OKAY.
ANY CARS IN FRONT OF US?
NO.
1007
00:37:20,171 --> 00:37:22,016
ANY CARS IN FRONT OF US?
NO.
[HORN HONKS]
1008
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:23,973
NO.
[HORN HONKS]
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
1009
00:37:31,915 --> 00:37:36,297
Announcer: IN AN
UNPRECEDENTED MOVE TO EASE WORLD
TENSION, THE COUNTRY OF ISRAEL
1010
00:37:36,321 --> 00:37:38,032
UNPRECEDENTED MOVE TO EASE WORLD
TENSION, THE COUNTRY OF ISRAEL
AND THE STATE OF GEORGIA HAVE
1011
00:37:38,056 --> 00:37:39,967
TENSION, THE COUNTRY OF ISRAEL
AND THE STATE OF GEORGIA HAVE
AGREED TO CHANGE PLACES.
1012
00:37:39,991 --> 00:37:42,103
AND THE STATE OF GEORGIA HAVE
AGREED TO CHANGE PLACES.
THE ENTIRE STATE OF GEORGIA...
1013
00:37:42,127 --> 00:37:44,339
AGREED TO CHANGE PLACES.
THE ENTIRE STATE OF GEORGIA...
RESIDENTS, BUSINESSES, ALL FORMS
1014
00:37:44,363 --> 00:37:46,507
THE ENTIRE STATE OF GEORGIA...
RESIDENTS, BUSINESSES, ALL FORMS
OF COMMERCE... WILL RELOCATE IN
1015
00:37:46,531 --> 00:37:48,943
RESIDENTS, BUSINESSES, ALL FORMS
OF COMMERCE... WILL RELOCATE IN
THE MIDDLE EAST ON JANUARY 1,
1016
00:37:48,967 --> 00:37:50,511
OF COMMERCE... WILL RELOCATE IN
THE MIDDLE EAST ON JANUARY 1,
1977.
1017
00:37:50,535 --> 00:37:52,447
THE MIDDLE EAST ON JANUARY 1,
1977.
NO BUILDINGS WILL BE MOVED.
1018
00:37:52,471 --> 00:37:54,048
1977.
NO BUILDINGS WILL BE MOVED.
IT WILL BE AN EVEN PROPERTY
1019
00:37:54,072 --> 00:37:59,587
NO BUILDINGS WILL BE MOVED.
IT WILL BE AN EVEN PROPERTY
EXCHANGE.
1020
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:01,589
IT WILL BE AN EVEN PROPERTY
EXCHANGE.
THIS IS INDEED AN AUSPICIOUS
1021
00:38:01,613 --> 00:38:04,225
EXCHANGE.
THIS IS INDEED AN AUSPICIOUS
OCCASION OF THE 20th CENTURY,
1022
00:38:04,249 --> 00:38:05,960
THIS IS INDEED AN AUSPICIOUS
OCCASION OF THE 20th CENTURY,
AND I HOPE THAT NEW ORLEANS WILL
1023
00:38:05,984 --> 00:38:07,462
OCCASION OF THE 20th CENTURY,
AND I HOPE THAT NEW ORLEANS WILL
BE EASIER TO DEAL WITH THAN
1024
00:38:07,486 --> 00:38:08,396
AND I HOPE THAT NEW ORLEANS WILL
BE EASIER TO DEAL WITH THAN
CAIRO.
1025
00:38:08,420 --> 00:38:11,098
BE EASIER TO DEAL WITH THAN
CAIRO.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
1026
00:38:11,122 --> 00:38:12,734
CAIRO.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
I KNOW... I KNOW THAT MY
1027
00:38:12,758 --> 00:38:14,602
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
I KNOW... I KNOW THAT MY
ENTIRE STATE IS LOOKING FORWARD
1028
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:16,537
I KNOW... I KNOW THAT MY
ENTIRE STATE IS LOOKING FORWARD
TO HEAT WITHOUT HUMIDITY.
1029
00:38:16,561 --> 00:38:19,741
ENTIRE STATE IS LOOKING FORWARD
TO HEAT WITHOUT HUMIDITY.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
1030
00:38:19,765 --> 00:38:22,605
TO HEAT WITHOUT HUMIDITY.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
1031
00:38:28,005 --> 00:38:32,687
Announcer: IN A SWEEPING
MAJORITY VOTE, THIS PROGRESSIVE
STATE HAS DECIDED TO LOWER THE
1032
00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:35,122
MAJORITY VOTE, THIS PROGRESSIVE
STATE HAS DECIDED TO LOWER THE
AGE OF CONSENT FROM 18 TO 7.
1033
00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:37,258
STATE HAS DECIDED TO LOWER THE
AGE OF CONSENT FROM 18 TO 7.
BUSINESSES OF ALL TYPES REPORT A
1034
00:38:37,282 --> 00:38:38,559
AGE OF CONSENT FROM 18 TO 7.
BUSINESSES OF ALL TYPES REPORT A
SURGE IN ACTIVITY.
1035
00:38:38,583 --> 00:38:40,895
BUSINESSES OF ALL TYPES REPORT A
SURGE IN ACTIVITY.
ACTUALLY, UH, I'M IN... I'M
1036
00:38:40,919 --> 00:38:42,229
SURGE IN ACTIVITY.
ACTUALLY, UH, I'M IN... I'M
IN ADVERTISING.
1037
00:38:42,253 --> 00:38:43,498
ACTUALLY, UH, I'M IN... I'M
IN ADVERTISING.
HERE. I'LL SHOW YOU.
1038
00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:47,034
IN ADVERTISING.
HERE. I'LL SHOW YOU.
THIS IS MY COMPANY HERE.
1039
00:38:47,058 --> 00:38:48,503
HERE. I'LL SHOW YOU.
THIS IS MY COMPANY HERE.
I CAN'T READ YET.
1040
00:38:48,527 --> 00:38:50,305
THIS IS MY COMPANY HERE.
I CAN'T READ YET.
OH, WELL, THIS SAYS THAT I'M
1041
00:38:50,329 --> 00:38:51,972
I CAN'T READ YET.
OH, WELL, THIS SAYS THAT I'M
IN CHARGE OF CASTING.
1042
00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:53,675
OH, WELL, THIS SAYS THAT I'M
IN CHARGE OF CASTING.
I CAST A LOT OF PEOPLE, YOU
1043
00:38:53,699 --> 00:38:54,742
IN CHARGE OF CASTING.
I CAST A LOT OF PEOPLE, YOU
KNOW, LIKE YOURSELF.
1044
00:38:54,766 --> 00:38:55,410
I CAST A LOT OF PEOPLE, YOU
KNOW, LIKE YOURSELF.
MM-HMM.
1045
00:38:55,434 --> 00:38:56,844
KNOW, LIKE YOURSELF.
MM-HMM.
YOU HAVE VERY NICE
1046
00:38:56,868 --> 00:38:58,346
MM-HMM.
YOU HAVE VERY NICE
CHEEKBONES.
1047
00:38:58,370 --> 00:39:00,047
YOU HAVE VERY NICE
CHEEKBONES.
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
1048
00:39:00,071 --> 00:39:01,316
CHEEKBONES.
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
I'M WITH "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH."
1049
00:39:01,340 --> 00:39:02,617
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
I'M WITH "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH."
DO YOU LIVE UP IN THIS AREA?
1050
00:39:02,641 --> 00:39:03,618
I'M WITH "THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH."
DO YOU LIVE UP IN THIS AREA?
NO, I'M FROM L.A.
1051
00:39:03,642 --> 00:39:04,719
DO YOU LIVE UP IN THIS AREA?
NO, I'M FROM L.A.
AH. WHO'S YOUR DATE?
1052
00:39:04,743 --> 00:39:05,853
NO, I'M FROM L.A.
AH. WHO'S YOUR DATE?
IT'S JUST SOMEONE I'M TALKING
1053
00:39:05,877 --> 00:39:06,387
AH. WHO'S YOUR DATE?
IT'S JUST SOMEONE I'M TALKING
TO HERE.
1054
00:39:06,411 --> 00:39:07,622
IT'S JUST SOMEONE I'M TALKING
TO HERE.
UH, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
1055
00:39:07,646 --> 00:39:08,889
TO HERE.
UH, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE US
1056
00:39:08,913 --> 00:39:09,924
UH, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE US
FOR A LITTLE WHILE, HUH?
1057
00:39:09,948 --> 00:39:10,891
WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE US
FOR A LITTLE WHILE, HUH?
ALL RIGHT.
1058
00:39:10,915 --> 00:39:14,329
FOR A LITTLE WHILE, HUH?
ALL RIGHT.
UH, I'M STAYING, UH, AT THE
1059
00:39:14,353 --> 00:39:15,530
ALL RIGHT.
UH, I'M STAYING, UH, AT THE
INN, YOU KNOW, OUT BY THE
1060
00:39:15,554 --> 00:39:16,197
UH, I'M STAYING, UH, AT THE
INN, YOU KNOW, OUT BY THE
AIRPORT THERE.
1061
00:39:16,221 --> 00:39:16,731
INN, YOU KNOW, OUT BY THE
AIRPORT THERE.
YEAH?
1062
00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:17,732
AIRPORT THERE.
YEAH?
MAYBE... I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
1063
00:39:17,756 --> 00:39:18,366
YEAH?
MAYBE... I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
HAVE TIME...
1064
00:39:18,390 --> 00:39:19,099
MAYBE... I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
HAVE TIME...
Announcer: ALTHOUGH
1065
00:39:19,123 --> 00:39:20,134
HAVE TIME...
Announcer: ALTHOUGH
"THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" AIRS WHAT
1066
00:39:20,158 --> 00:39:22,303
Announcer: ALTHOUGH
"THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" AIRS WHAT
IT MUST, SOME THINGS IT AIRS
1067
00:39:22,327 --> 00:39:23,705
"THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" AIRS WHAT
IT MUST, SOME THINGS IT AIRS
DISGUSTS IT.
1068
00:39:23,729 --> 00:39:28,810
IT MUST, SOME THINGS IT AIRS
DISGUSTS IT.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
1069
00:39:28,834 --> 00:39:30,845
DISGUSTS IT.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
WHILE YOU ARE VIEWING THIS,
1070
00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:33,080
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
WHILE YOU ARE VIEWING THIS,
"THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" CONTINUES
1071
00:39:33,104 --> 00:39:35,182
WHILE YOU ARE VIEWING THIS,
"THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" CONTINUES
TO INVESTIGATE NEW LEADS, LIKE
1072
00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:37,719
"THE IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH" CONTINUES
TO INVESTIGATE NEW LEADS, LIKE
THE WOMAN WHO SWIMS 24 HOURS A
1073
00:39:37,743 --> 00:39:41,088
TO INVESTIGATE NEW LEADS, LIKE
THE WOMAN WHO SWIMS 24 HOURS A
DAY EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE...
1074
00:39:41,112 --> 00:39:42,490
THE WOMAN WHO SWIMS 24 HOURS A
DAY EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE...
OR THE MAN WHO CAN EAT A
1075
00:39:42,514 --> 00:39:45,326
DAY EVERY DAY OF HER LIFE...
OR THE MAN WHO CAN EAT A
THOUSAND EGGS...
1076
00:39:45,350 --> 00:39:47,829
OR THE MAN WHO CAN EAT A
THOUSAND EGGS...
OR THE GENIUS, WITH AN I.Q. OF
1077
00:39:47,853 --> 00:39:51,454
THOUSAND EGGS...
OR THE GENIUS, WITH AN I.Q. OF
OVER 240.
1078
00:40:13,878 --> 00:40:21,878
Announcer: AND NOW WE RETURN
TO "BEE HOSPITAL."
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
1079
00:40:22,454 --> 00:40:25,165
TO "BEE HOSPITAL."
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
MR. BEE.
1080
00:40:25,189 --> 00:40:26,166
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
MR. BEE.
YES?
1081
00:40:26,190 --> 00:40:27,201
MR. BEE.
YES?
CONGRATULATIONS.
1082
00:40:27,225 --> 00:40:28,936
YES?
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S A DRONE.
1083
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:29,570
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S A DRONE.
IT'S A DRONE!
1084
00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:30,204
IT'S A DRONE.
IT'S A DRONE!
IT'S A DRONE!
1085
00:40:30,228 --> 00:40:31,238
IT'S A DRONE!
IT'S A DRONE!
CONGRATULATIONS, MAN!
1086
00:40:31,262 --> 00:40:32,740
IT'S A DRONE!
CONGRATULATIONS, MAN!
CONGRATULATIONS.
1087
00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:33,775
CONGRATULATIONS, MAN!
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S A DRONE.
1088
00:40:33,799 --> 00:40:34,742
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S A DRONE.
OH!
1089
00:40:34,766 --> 00:40:39,947
IT'S A DRONE.
OH!
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
1090
00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:41,115
OH!
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
MR. BEE?
1091
00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:41,916
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
MR. BEE?
YES?
1092
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:43,083
MR. BEE?
YES?
CONGRATULATIONS.
1093
00:40:43,107 --> 00:40:44,552
YES?
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S A DRONE.
1094
00:40:44,576 --> 00:40:45,653
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S A DRONE.
YEAH!
1095
00:40:45,677 --> 00:40:47,789
IT'S A DRONE.
YEAH!
IT'S A DRONE!
1096
00:40:47,813 --> 00:40:48,756
YEAH!
IT'S A DRONE!
IT'S A DRONE!
1097
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:55,430
IT'S A DRONE!
IT'S A DRONE!
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
1098
00:40:55,454 --> 00:40:56,831
IT'S A DRONE!
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
MR. BEE?
1099
00:40:56,855 --> 00:40:57,698
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
MR. BEE?
YES?
1100
00:40:57,722 --> 00:40:58,833
MR. BEE?
YES?
CONGRATULATIONS.
1101
00:40:58,857 --> 00:41:00,234
YES?
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S A WORKER!
1102
00:41:00,258 --> 00:41:02,202
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S A WORKER!
IT'S A WORKER?
1103
00:41:02,226 --> 00:41:03,404
IT'S A WORKER!
IT'S A WORKER?
HEY, IT'S A WORKER.
1104
00:41:03,428 --> 00:41:04,539
IT'S A WORKER?
HEY, IT'S A WORKER.
IT'S A WORKER.
1105
00:41:04,563 --> 00:41:06,040
HEY, IT'S A WORKER.
IT'S A WORKER.
A WORKER.
1106
00:41:06,064 --> 00:41:07,207
IT'S A WORKER.
A WORKER.
AW, IT'S A WORKER!
1107
00:41:07,231 --> 00:41:08,008
A WORKER.
AW, IT'S A WORKER!
CONGRATULATIONS.
1108
00:41:08,032 --> 00:41:09,243
AW, IT'S A WORKER!
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S A WORKER.
1109
00:41:09,267 --> 00:41:10,411
CONGRATULATIONS.
IT'S A WORKER.
Announcer: THUS CONCLUDES
1110
00:41:10,435 --> 00:41:11,446
IT'S A WORKER.
Announcer: THUS CONCLUDES
THIS WEEK'S CHAPTER OF
1111
00:41:11,470 --> 00:41:12,580
Announcer: THUS CONCLUDES
THIS WEEK'S CHAPTER OF
"BEE HOSPITAL."
1112
00:41:12,604 --> 00:41:14,549
THIS WEEK'S CHAPTER OF
"BEE HOSPITAL."
AND NOW A SCENE FROM NEXT WEEK'S
1113
00:41:14,573 --> 00:41:18,385
"BEE HOSPITAL."
AND NOW A SCENE FROM NEXT WEEK'S
EPISODE OF "BEE HOSPITAL."
1114
00:41:18,409 --> 00:41:21,021
AND NOW A SCENE FROM NEXT WEEK'S
EPISODE OF "BEE HOSPITAL."
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
1115
00:41:21,045 --> 00:41:22,122
EPISODE OF "BEE HOSPITAL."
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
MR. BEE?
1116
00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:22,890
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
MR. BEE?
YES?
1117
00:41:22,914 --> 00:41:24,358
MR. BEE?
YES?
CONGRATULATIONS, MR. BEE.
1118
00:41:24,382 --> 00:41:25,225
YES?
CONGRATULATIONS, MR. BEE.
IT'S A QUEEN.
1119
00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:26,126
CONGRATULATIONS, MR. BEE.
IT'S A QUEEN.
OH, AAH!
1120
00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:28,596
IT'S A QUEEN.
OH, AAH!
HEY, HEY, HEY, HUH?
1121
00:41:28,620 --> 00:41:29,296
OH, AAH!
HEY, HEY, HEY, HUH?
IT'S A QUEEN!
1122
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,397
HEY, HEY, HEY, HUH?
IT'S A QUEEN!
IT'S A QUEEN!
1123
00:41:30,421 --> 00:41:32,800
IT'S A QUEEN!
IT'S A QUEEN!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1124
00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:35,336
IT'S A QUEEN!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[RINGS]
1125
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,270
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[RINGS]
HELLO?
1126
00:41:36,294 --> 00:41:38,072
[RINGS]
HELLO?
HELLO! BY JUST ANSWERING THIS
1127
00:41:38,096 --> 00:41:39,740
HELLO?
HELLO! BY JUST ANSWERING THIS
PHONE CALL, YOU HAVE QUALIFIED
1128
00:41:39,764 --> 00:41:41,342
HELLO! BY JUST ANSWERING THIS
PHONE CALL, YOU HAVE QUALIFIED
FOR A CHALLENGING NEW CAREER
1129
00:41:41,366 --> 00:41:43,077
PHONE CALL, YOU HAVE QUALIFIED
FOR A CHALLENGING NEW CAREER
THAT COULD EARN YOU UP TO $80 A
1130
00:41:43,101 --> 00:41:43,578
FOR A CHALLENGING NEW CAREER
THAT COULD EARN YOU UP TO $80 A
DAY.
1131
00:41:43,602 --> 00:41:44,411
THAT COULD EARN YOU UP TO $80 A
DAY.
TELL ME MORE.
1132
00:41:44,435 --> 00:41:45,880
DAY.
TELL ME MORE.
DID YOU KNOW THAT THE RECENT
1133
00:41:45,904 --> 00:41:47,247
TELL ME MORE.
DID YOU KNOW THAT THE RECENT
GLUT OF LATE-NIGHT TV ADS FOR
1134
00:41:47,271 --> 00:41:49,083
DID YOU KNOW THAT THE RECENT
GLUT OF LATE-NIGHT TV ADS FOR
SO-CALLED TRAINING SCHOOLS HAS
1135
00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:50,718
GLUT OF LATE-NIGHT TV ADS FOR
SO-CALLED TRAINING SCHOOLS HAS
CREATED A DEMAND FOR SKILLED
1136
00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:52,119
SO-CALLED TRAINING SCHOOLS HAS
CREATED A DEMAND FOR SKILLED
PHONE ANSWERERS TO TAKE CALLS
1137
00:41:52,143 --> 00:41:53,287
CREATED A DEMAND FOR SKILLED
PHONE ANSWERERS TO TAKE CALLS
AND WRITE DOWN MESSAGES?
1138
00:41:53,311 --> 00:41:54,054
PHONE ANSWERERS TO TAKE CALLS
AND WRITE DOWN MESSAGES?
IT'S TRUE.
1139
00:41:54,078 --> 00:41:55,556
AND WRITE DOWN MESSAGES?
IT'S TRUE.
THE COUNTLESS SCHOOLS AND
1140
00:41:55,580 --> 00:41:57,191
IT'S TRUE.
THE COUNTLESS SCHOOLS AND
INSTITUTIONS THAT TEACH YOU
1141
00:41:57,215 --> 00:41:58,793
THE COUNTLESS SCHOOLS AND
INSTITUTIONS THAT TEACH YOU
COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, MOTEL
1142
00:41:58,817 --> 00:41:59,827
INSTITUTIONS THAT TEACH YOU
COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, MOTEL
MANAGEMENT, AIRPORT
1143
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:01,095
COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, MOTEL
MANAGEMENT, AIRPORT
SURVEILLANCE, AND DIESEL
1144
00:42:01,119 --> 00:42:02,597
MANAGEMENT, AIRPORT
SURVEILLANCE, AND DIESEL
MECHANICS, TO NAME BUT A FEW,
1145
00:42:02,621 --> 00:42:04,064
SURVEILLANCE, AND DIESEL
MECHANICS, TO NAME BUT A FEW,
DESPERATELY NEED OPERATORS TO
1146
00:42:04,088 --> 00:42:05,633
MECHANICS, TO NAME BUT A FEW,
DESPERATELY NEED OPERATORS TO
STAND BY AT THE END OF THEIR TV
1147
00:42:05,657 --> 00:42:06,833
DESPERATELY NEED OPERATORS TO
STAND BY AT THE END OF THEIR TV
ADS.
1148
00:42:06,857 --> 00:42:08,424
NOW ABC, THE ACADEMY OF BETTER
1149
00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:10,092
CAREERS, OFFERS YOU THE CHANCE
1150
00:42:10,227 --> 00:42:11,360
TO BECOME ONE OF THESE
1151
00:42:11,495 --> 00:42:13,062
SOUGHT-AFTER, HIGH-PAID STANDBY
1152
00:42:13,196 --> 00:42:14,330
OPERATORS.
1153
00:42:14,598 --> 00:42:18,412
YOU'LL LEARN THE LATEST
UP-TO-THE-MINUTE PHONE-ANSWERING
TECHNIQUES FROM OUR STAFF OF
1154
00:42:18,436 --> 00:42:19,847
UP-TO-THE-MINUTE PHONE-ANSWERING
TECHNIQUES FROM OUR STAFF OF
EXPERIENCED INSTRUCTORS.
1155
00:42:19,871 --> 00:42:22,650
TECHNIQUES FROM OUR STAFF OF
EXPERIENCED INSTRUCTORS.
HELLO?
1156
00:42:22,674 --> 00:42:23,450
EXPERIENCED INSTRUCTORS.
HELLO?
HELLO?
1157
00:42:23,474 --> 00:42:24,519
HELLO?
HELLO?
HELLO.
1158
00:42:24,543 --> 00:42:25,920
HELLO?
HELLO.
> YOU'LL EXPLORE THE
1159
00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:27,655
HELLO.
> YOU'LL EXPLORE THE
TELEPHONE... ITS PAST, ITS
1160
00:42:27,679 --> 00:42:29,624
> YOU'LL EXPLORE THE
TELEPHONE... ITS PAST, ITS
PRESENT, AND EVEN THE AMAZING
1161
00:42:29,648 --> 00:42:31,291
TELEPHONE... ITS PAST, ITS
PRESENT, AND EVEN THE AMAZING
PICTURE PHONES OF THE FUTURE.
1162
00:42:31,315 --> 00:42:32,560
PRESENT, AND EVEN THE AMAZING
PICTURE PHONES OF THE FUTURE.
NOW, THESE ARE THE AREA
1163
00:42:32,584 --> 00:42:33,127
PICTURE PHONES OF THE FUTURE.
NOW, THESE ARE THE AREA
CODES...
1164
00:42:33,151 --> 00:42:34,361
NOW, THESE ARE THE AREA
CODES...
IN ONLY SIX WEEKS, OUR
1165
00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:35,897
CODES...
IN ONLY SIX WEEKS, OUR
EXPERTS WILL SHOW YOU EVERYTHING
1166
00:42:35,921 --> 00:42:37,164
IN ONLY SIX WEEKS, OUR
EXPERTS WILL SHOW YOU EVERYTHING
YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ANSWER
1167
00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:38,465
EXPERTS WILL SHOW YOU EVERYTHING
YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ANSWER
PHONES PROFESSIONALLY.
1168
00:42:38,489 --> 00:42:41,969
YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ANSWER
PHONES PROFESSIONALLY.
9-4.
1169
00:42:41,993 --> 00:42:43,560
PHONES PROFESSIONALLY.
9-4.
CHAD...
1170
00:42:43,827 --> 00:42:45,094
ABC IS VETERAN-APPROVED BY
1171
00:42:45,228 --> 00:42:46,395
THE FEDERAL BOARD OF PUBLIC
1172
00:42:46,530 --> 00:42:47,396
INSTRUCTION AND IS ELIGIBLE
1173
00:42:47,531 --> 00:42:48,998
UNDER THE STUDENT...
1174
00:42:49,266 --> 00:42:51,812
EXCUSE ME, MISTER.
I HAVE TO GET OFF.
BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
1175
00:42:51,836 --> 00:42:53,614
I HAVE TO GET OFF.
BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
TO CALL ABC AND START MY NEW
1176
00:42:53,638 --> 00:42:55,115
BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
TO CALL ABC AND START MY NEW
CAREER AS A SOUGHT-AFTER,
1177
00:42:55,139 --> 00:43:00,187
TO CALL ABC AND START MY NEW
CAREER AS A SOUGHT-AFTER,
HIGH-PAID STANDBY OPERATOR.
1178
00:43:00,211 --> 00:43:01,789
CAREER AS A SOUGHT-AFTER,
HIGH-PAID STANDBY OPERATOR.
HEY, DON'T LET LIFE PUT YOU
1179
00:43:01,813 --> 00:43:02,389
HIGH-PAID STANDBY OPERATOR.
HEY, DON'T LET LIFE PUT YOU
ON HOLD.
1180
00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:04,424
HEY, DON'T LET LIFE PUT YOU
ON HOLD.
BECOME A STANDBY OPERATOR.
1181
00:43:04,448 --> 00:43:05,568
CALL NOW FOR A FREE BOOKLET!
1182
00:43:05,616 --> 00:43:08,417
CALL 311-555-4425.
1183
00:43:08,552 --> 00:43:11,054
THAT'S 311-555-4425.
1184
00:43:11,188 --> 00:43:12,521
OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY TO
1185
00:43:12,656 --> 00:43:14,156
TAKE YOUR CALL.
1186
00:43:14,424 --> 00:43:18,327
Announcer: AND NOW,
COMEDIENNE VALRI BROMFIELD!
1187
00:43:28,171 --> 00:43:31,719
THANK YOU.
I DON'T LOOK LIKE A COMEDIAN, DO
I?
1188
00:43:31,743 --> 00:43:32,653
I DON'T LOOK LIKE A COMEDIAN, DO
I?
THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT.
1189
00:43:32,677 --> 00:43:33,654
I?
THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT.
I'M A SCHOOLTEACHER, AND,
1190
00:43:33,678 --> 00:43:34,822
THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT.
I'M A SCHOOLTEACHER, AND,
PEOPLE, I NEED A LOT OF SILENCE
1191
00:43:34,846 --> 00:43:35,823
I'M A SCHOOLTEACHER, AND,
PEOPLE, I NEED A LOT OF SILENCE
IN THIS ROOM IF I'M GOING TO
1192
00:43:35,847 --> 00:43:36,323
PEOPLE, I NEED A LOT OF SILENCE
IN THIS ROOM IF I'M GOING TO
TALK.
1193
00:43:36,347 --> 00:43:37,725
IN THIS ROOM IF I'M GOING TO
TALK.
PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PLEASE, PLEASE,
1194
00:43:37,749 --> 00:43:39,193
TALK.
PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PLEASE, PLEASE,
PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, AM I IN
1195
00:43:39,217 --> 00:43:41,161
PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PLEASE, PLEASE,
PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, AM I IN
A ZOO?!
1196
00:43:41,185 --> 00:43:41,929
PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE, AM I IN
A ZOO?!
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.
1197
00:43:41,953 --> 00:43:43,130
A ZOO?!
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.
PLEASE, LET'S BRING YOU OUT OF
1198
00:43:43,154 --> 00:43:44,298
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.
PLEASE, LET'S BRING YOU OUT OF
THE SUBURBS AND INTO THE CITY.
1199
00:43:44,322 --> 00:43:45,332
PLEASE, LET'S BRING YOU OUT OF
THE SUBURBS AND INTO THE CITY.
I'D LIKE TO HAVE A FEW WORDS
1200
00:43:45,356 --> 00:43:45,900
THE SUBURBS AND INTO THE CITY.
I'D LIKE TO HAVE A FEW WORDS
WITH YOU.
1201
00:43:45,924 --> 00:43:46,701
I'D LIKE TO HAVE A FEW WORDS
WITH YOU.
OKAY, OKAY, PEOPLE.
1202
00:43:46,725 --> 00:43:49,203
WITH YOU.
OKAY, OKAY, PEOPLE.
NOW, TODAY, WE HAVE A BIG
1203
00:43:49,227 --> 00:43:50,404
OKAY, OKAY, PEOPLE.
NOW, TODAY, WE HAVE A BIG
VOLLEYBALL GAME AHEAD OF US,
1204
00:43:50,428 --> 00:43:51,639
NOW, TODAY, WE HAVE A BIG
VOLLEYBALL GAME AHEAD OF US,
PEOPLE, AND AS YOU KNOW, THE
1205
00:43:51,663 --> 00:43:52,807
VOLLEYBALL GAME AHEAD OF US,
PEOPLE, AND AS YOU KNOW, THE
PRINCIPAL IS COUNTING ON WINNING
1206
00:43:52,831 --> 00:43:53,574
PEOPLE, AND AS YOU KNOW, THE
PRINCIPAL IS COUNTING ON WINNING
THE CUP.
1207
00:43:53,598 --> 00:43:54,642
PRINCIPAL IS COUNTING ON WINNING
THE CUP.
THE PRINCIPAL IS A WHAT?
1208
00:43:54,666 --> 00:43:56,744
THE CUP.
THE PRINCIPAL IS A WHAT?
IS THIS A FRENCH FILM I'M LIVING
1209
00:43:56,768 --> 00:43:57,478
THE PRINCIPAL IS A WHAT?
IS THIS A FRENCH FILM I'M LIVING
IN, PEOPLE?!
1210
00:43:57,502 --> 00:43:59,113
IS THIS A FRENCH FILM I'M LIVING
IN, PEOPLE?!
PLEASE, I HAVE A FEW POINTS TO
1211
00:43:59,137 --> 00:43:59,580
IN, PEOPLE?!
PLEASE, I HAVE A FEW POINTS TO
MAKE.
1212
00:43:59,604 --> 00:44:00,815
PLEASE, I HAVE A FEW POINTS TO
MAKE.
I'D LIKE TO MAKE THEM.
1213
00:44:00,839 --> 00:44:02,382
MAKE.
I'D LIKE TO MAKE THEM.
OKAY, PEOPLE, NOW, FIRST OF ALL,
1214
00:44:02,406 --> 00:44:03,851
I'D LIKE TO MAKE THEM.
OKAY, PEOPLE, NOW, FIRST OF ALL,
WE'RE IN OUR LOVELY GYM TOGS,
1215
00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:05,152
OKAY, PEOPLE, NOW, FIRST OF ALL,
WE'RE IN OUR LOVELY GYM TOGS,
AND I'D LIKE TO KEEP THEM
1216
00:44:05,176 --> 00:44:06,420
WE'RE IN OUR LOVELY GYM TOGS,
AND I'D LIKE TO KEEP THEM
LOOKING LOVELY AND CRISP.
1217
00:44:06,444 --> 00:44:08,122
AND I'D LIKE TO KEEP THEM
LOOKING LOVELY AND CRISP.
TURQUOISE AND WHITE... A VERY
1218
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:09,724
LOOKING LOVELY AND CRISP.
TURQUOISE AND WHITE... A VERY
GOOD COMBINATION, OKAY, BUT,
1219
00:44:09,748 --> 00:44:11,258
TURQUOISE AND WHITE... A VERY
GOOD COMBINATION, OKAY, BUT,
KEEP THE BOX PLEAT NICE AND
1220
00:44:11,282 --> 00:44:11,759
GOOD COMBINATION, OKAY, BUT,
KEEP THE BOX PLEAT NICE AND
NEAT.
1221
00:44:11,783 --> 00:44:13,260
KEEP THE BOX PLEAT NICE AND
NEAT.
DON'T SIT DOWN DURING THE GAME.
1222
00:44:13,284 --> 00:44:15,029
NEAT.
DON'T SIT DOWN DURING THE GAME.
OKAY, AND ANOTHER THING, PEOPLE,
1223
00:44:15,053 --> 00:44:16,764
DON'T SIT DOWN DURING THE GAME.
OKAY, AND ANOTHER THING, PEOPLE,
PLEASE, TWO POINTS I'D LIKE TO
1224
00:44:16,788 --> 00:44:18,365
OKAY, AND ANOTHER THING, PEOPLE,
PLEASE, TWO POINTS I'D LIKE TO
MAKE HERE... DRESS SHIELDS.
1225
00:44:18,389 --> 00:44:20,901
PLEASE, TWO POINTS I'D LIKE TO
MAKE HERE... DRESS SHIELDS.
DRESS SHIELDS, GIRLS, OKAY?
1226
00:44:20,925 --> 00:44:22,569
MAKE HERE... DRESS SHIELDS.
DRESS SHIELDS, GIRLS, OKAY?
JUST FOR THAT EXTRA NEATNESS.
1227
00:44:22,593 --> 00:44:24,371
DRESS SHIELDS, GIRLS, OKAY?
JUST FOR THAT EXTRA NEATNESS.
OH, AND, PEOPLE, THE HAIRSTYLES
1228
00:44:24,395 --> 00:44:26,140
JUST FOR THAT EXTRA NEATNESS.
OH, AND, PEOPLE, THE HAIRSTYLES
ARE VERY, VERY NICE, INDEED, BUT
1229
00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:27,775
OH, AND, PEOPLE, THE HAIRSTYLES
ARE VERY, VERY NICE, INDEED, BUT
LET'S KEEP THEM BACK OFF THE
1230
00:44:27,799 --> 00:44:28,976
ARE VERY, VERY NICE, INDEED, BUT
LET'S KEEP THEM BACK OFF THE
EYES, PEOPLE, OKAY?
1231
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,645
LET'S KEEP THEM BACK OFF THE
EYES, PEOPLE, OKAY?
I'VE GOT SOME HAIRNETS HERE.
1232
00:44:30,669 --> 00:44:32,780
EYES, PEOPLE, OKAY?
I'VE GOT SOME HAIRNETS HERE.
"OOH!" YOURSELVES!
1233
00:44:32,804 --> 00:44:34,782
I'VE GOT SOME HAIRNETS HERE.
"OOH!" YOURSELVES!
NOW, PEOPLE...
1234
00:44:34,806 --> 00:44:36,984
"OOH!" YOURSELVES!
NOW, PEOPLE...
OH, I'VE GOT... YOUR TEAM
1235
00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:38,418
NOW, PEOPLE...
OH, I'VE GOT... YOUR TEAM
CAPTAIN DEBBIE HERE WOULD LIKE
1236
00:44:38,442 --> 00:44:39,787
OH, I'VE GOT... YOUR TEAM
CAPTAIN DEBBIE HERE WOULD LIKE
TO HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH YOU
1237
00:44:39,811 --> 00:44:40,921
CAPTAIN DEBBIE HERE WOULD LIKE
TO HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH YOU
BEFORE YOUR GAME, OKAY?
1238
00:44:40,945 --> 00:44:42,723
TO HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH YOU
BEFORE YOUR GAME, OKAY?
OKAY, DEBBIE?
1239
00:44:42,747 --> 00:44:45,392
BEFORE YOUR GAME, OKAY?
OKAY, DEBBIE?
THANKS. [SIGHS]
1240
00:44:45,416 --> 00:44:46,861
OKAY, DEBBIE?
THANKS. [SIGHS]
OKAY, SHUT UP.
1241
00:44:46,885 --> 00:44:48,462
THANKS. [SIGHS]
OKAY, SHUT UP.
OKAY.
1242
00:44:48,486 --> 00:44:52,867
OKAY, SHUT UP.
OKAY.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
1243
00:44:52,891 --> 00:44:54,368
OKAY.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GAME
1244
00:44:54,392 --> 00:44:55,435
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GAME
AND EVERYTHING, I GUESS, OR I
1245
00:44:55,459 --> 00:44:56,436
OKAY, SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GAME
AND EVERYTHING, I GUESS, OR I
WOULDN'T BE WEARING THESE
1246
00:44:56,460 --> 00:44:56,937
AND EVERYTHING, I GUESS, OR I
WOULDN'T BE WEARING THESE
THINGS!
1247
00:44:56,961 --> 00:44:58,873
WOULDN'T BE WEARING THESE
THINGS!
UGH! [LAUGHS]
1248
00:44:58,897 --> 00:45:00,307
THINGS!
UGH! [LAUGHS]
OKAY, SO THE MOST IMPORTANT
1249
00:45:00,331 --> 00:45:01,942
UGH! [LAUGHS]
OKAY, SO THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING WE HAVE TO DO IS TO GO OUT
1250
00:45:01,966 --> 00:45:03,911
OKAY, SO THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING WE HAVE TO DO IS TO GO OUT
THERE AND BE REALLY, REALLY
1251
00:45:03,935 --> 00:45:05,680
THING WE HAVE TO DO IS TO GO OUT
THERE AND BE REALLY, REALLY
CUTE, OKAY?
1252
00:45:05,704 --> 00:45:07,214
THERE AND BE REALLY, REALLY
CUTE, OKAY?
'CAUSE WE ARE REALLY PRETTY
1253
00:45:07,238 --> 00:45:07,682
CUTE, OKAY?
'CAUSE WE ARE REALLY PRETTY
CUTE.
1254
00:45:07,706 --> 00:45:08,849
'CAUSE WE ARE REALLY PRETTY
CUTE.
AND LISTEN TO ME... SOMETHING
1255
00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:10,017
CUTE.
AND LISTEN TO ME... SOMETHING
REALLY GREAT... THERE'S SOME
1256
00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:11,118
AND LISTEN TO ME... SOMETHING
REALLY GREAT... THERE'S SOME
GUYS OUT THERE WHO ARE SUCH
1257
00:45:11,142 --> 00:45:12,753
REALLY GREAT... THERE'S SOME
GUYS OUT THERE WHO ARE SUCH
DUHs, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE!
1258
00:45:12,777 --> 00:45:14,288
GUYS OUT THERE WHO ARE SUCH
DUHs, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE!
THERE'S JIMMY AND MARK AND
1259
00:45:14,312 --> 00:45:14,889
DUHs, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE!
THERE'S JIMMY AND MARK AND
CONNOR.
1260
00:45:14,913 --> 00:45:16,724
THERE'S JIMMY AND MARK AND
CONNOR.
AND WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE GUYS,
1261
00:45:16,748 --> 00:45:18,625
CONNOR.
AND WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE GUYS,
I CAN'T GO OUT THERE!
1262
00:45:18,649 --> 00:45:19,894
AND WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE GUYS,
I CAN'T GO OUT THERE!
HAVE A GOOD GAME.
1263
00:45:19,918 --> 00:45:21,918
I CAN'T GO OUT THERE!
HAVE A GOOD GAME.
[BAND PLAYS]
1264
00:45:28,192 --> 00:45:33,373
WE AT "SATURDAY NIGHT" WANTED
TO SEE WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE CARRY
GUNS, SO WE TOOK OUR CAMERA CREW
1265
00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:35,209
TO SEE WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE CARRY
GUNS, SO WE TOOK OUR CAMERA CREW
INTO THE STREETS TO FIND OUT.
1266
00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:36,443
GUNS, SO WE TOOK OUR CAMERA CREW
INTO THE STREETS TO FIND OUT.
[ROSSINI'S "WILLIAM TELL
1267
00:45:36,467 --> 00:45:39,228
INTO THE STREETS TO FIND OUT.
[ROSSINI'S "WILLIAM TELL
OVERTURE" PLAYS]
1268
00:46:54,978 --> 00:46:59,726
WHEN YOU SEE OUR
"SATURDAY NIGHT" TRUCK IN YOUR
NEIGHBORHOOD, SHOW US YOUR GUNS.
1269
00:46:59,750 --> 00:47:00,995
"SATURDAY NIGHT" TRUCK IN YOUR
NEIGHBORHOOD, SHOW US YOUR GUNS.
[FINALE PLAYS]
1270
00:47:01,019 --> 00:47:03,259
NEIGHBORHOOD, SHOW US YOUR GUNS.
[FINALE PLAYS]
[APPLAUSE]
1271
00:47:08,325 --> 00:47:12,673
IT'S ALREADY SUNDAY, AND IT'S
GOD'S DAY OFF.
THAT'S WHAT IT SAID IN
1272
00:47:12,697 --> 00:47:13,974
GOD'S DAY OFF.
THAT'S WHAT IT SAID IN
THE BIBLE... HE WORKED SIX DAYS,
1273
00:47:13,998 --> 00:47:14,975
THAT'S WHAT IT SAID IN
THE BIBLE... HE WORKED SIX DAYS,
AND HE TOOK SUNDAY OFF.
1274
00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:16,243
THE BIBLE... HE WORKED SIX DAYS,
AND HE TOOK SUNDAY OFF.
IT'S HIS ONE DAY OFF, AND THAT'S
1275
00:47:16,267 --> 00:47:17,511
AND HE TOOK SUNDAY OFF.
IT'S HIS ONE DAY OFF, AND THAT'S
THE DAY WE ALL GO AND CROWD INTO
1276
00:47:17,535 --> 00:47:18,712
IT'S HIS ONE DAY OFF, AND THAT'S
THE DAY WE ALL GO AND CROWD INTO
CHURCH AND ASK HIM...
1277
00:47:18,736 --> 00:47:20,147
THE DAY WE ALL GO AND CROWD INTO
CHURCH AND ASK HIM...
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
1278
00:47:20,171 --> 00:47:22,983
CHURCH AND ASK HIM...
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
"MY DAY OFF, MAN."
1279
00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:24,484
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
"MY DAY OFF, MAN."
WELL, WE CREATED GOD IN OUR OWN
1280
00:47:24,508 --> 00:47:25,686
"MY DAY OFF, MAN."
WELL, WE CREATED GOD IN OUR OWN
IMAGE AND LIKENESS... NO
1281
00:47:25,710 --> 00:47:26,720
WELL, WE CREATED GOD IN OUR OWN
IMAGE AND LIKENESS... NO
QUESTION ABOUT THAT.
1282
00:47:26,744 --> 00:47:27,922
IMAGE AND LIKENESS... NO
QUESTION ABOUT THAT.
EVERY TIME I SEE A PICTURE OF
1283
00:47:27,946 --> 00:47:29,156
QUESTION ABOUT THAT.
EVERY TIME I SEE A PICTURE OF
GOD, I MEAN, HE HAS KNEES AND
1284
00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:31,158
EVERY TIME I SEE A PICTURE OF
GOD, I MEAN, HE HAS KNEES AND
TOENAILS, RIGHT?
1285
00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:32,492
GOD, I MEAN, HE HAS KNEES AND
TOENAILS, RIGHT?
THERE'S A GOOD EXAMPLE... A
1286
00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:33,894
TOENAILS, RIGHT?
THERE'S A GOOD EXAMPLE... A
BETTER EXAMPLE OF OUR KIND OF
1287
00:47:33,918 --> 00:47:35,395
THERE'S A GOOD EXAMPLE... A
BETTER EXAMPLE OF OUR KIND OF
SELF-CENTEREDNESS WHEN IT COMES
1288
00:47:35,419 --> 00:47:36,730
BETTER EXAMPLE OF OUR KIND OF
SELF-CENTEREDNESS WHEN IT COMES
TO GOD.
1289
00:47:36,754 --> 00:47:38,699
SELF-CENTEREDNESS WHEN IT COMES
TO GOD.
WHEN WE PUT A STATUE OF JESUS ON
1290
00:47:38,723 --> 00:47:40,667
TO GOD.
WHEN WE PUT A STATUE OF JESUS ON
THE DASHBOARD, INSTEAD OF HAVING
1291
00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:42,636
WHEN WE PUT A STATUE OF JESUS ON
THE DASHBOARD, INSTEAD OF HAVING
HIM LOOKING OUT AND WATCHING FOR
1292
00:47:42,660 --> 00:47:44,604
THE DASHBOARD, INSTEAD OF HAVING
HIM LOOKING OUT AND WATCHING FOR
TRAFFIC, WHICH IS WHAT HE SHOULD
1293
00:47:44,628 --> 00:47:47,607
HIM LOOKING OUT AND WATCHING FOR
TRAFFIC, WHICH IS WHAT HE SHOULD
BE DOING... WE HAVE HIM WATCHING
1294
00:47:47,631 --> 00:47:48,642
TRAFFIC, WHICH IS WHAT HE SHOULD
BE DOING... WE HAVE HIM WATCHING
US DRIVE.
1295
00:47:48,666 --> 00:47:51,011
BE DOING... WE HAVE HIM WATCHING
US DRIVE.
"HEY! WATCH THIS, JESUS!
1296
00:47:51,035 --> 00:47:52,012
US DRIVE.
"HEY! WATCH THIS, JESUS!
LEFT TURN!"
1297
00:47:52,036 --> 00:47:53,914
"HEY! WATCH THIS, JESUS!
LEFT TURN!"
AHHHHH!
1298
00:47:53,938 --> 00:47:56,884
LEFT TURN!"
AHHHHH!
YOU EVER SEE A STATUE LEAP?
1299
00:47:56,908 --> 00:47:58,452
AHHHHH!
YOU EVER SEE A STATUE LEAP?
JUMPED RIGHT UP INTO THE BABY
1300
00:47:58,476 --> 00:47:59,720
YOU EVER SEE A STATUE LEAP?
JUMPED RIGHT UP INTO THE BABY
SHOES THAT TIME.
1301
00:47:59,744 --> 00:48:02,056
JUMPED RIGHT UP INTO THE BABY
SHOES THAT TIME.
[LAUGHTER]
1302
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:03,324
SHOES THAT TIME.
[LAUGHTER]
DON'T WORRY. DON'T WORRY.
1303
00:48:03,348 --> 00:48:04,658
[LAUGHTER]
DON'T WORRY. DON'T WORRY.
THE UNIVERSE IS IN BALANCE,
1304
00:48:04,682 --> 00:48:06,160
DON'T WORRY. DON'T WORRY.
THE UNIVERSE IS IN BALANCE,
BECAUSE JESUS HAS A STATUE OF A
1305
00:48:06,184 --> 00:48:07,694
THE UNIVERSE IS IN BALANCE,
BECAUSE JESUS HAS A STATUE OF A
MIDDLE-CLASS AMERICAN HYPOCRITE
1306
00:48:07,718 --> 00:48:09,196
BECAUSE JESUS HAS A STATUE OF A
MIDDLE-CLASS AMERICAN HYPOCRITE
ON HIS DASHBOARD, SO IT'S NICE,
1307
00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:09,796
MIDDLE-CLASS AMERICAN HYPOCRITE
ON HIS DASHBOARD, SO IT'S NICE,
YEAH.
1308
00:48:09,820 --> 00:48:11,765
ON HIS DASHBOARD, SO IT'S NICE,
YEAH.
THINGS WORK OUT WELL.
1309
00:48:11,789 --> 00:48:13,300
YEAH.
THINGS WORK OUT WELL.
BUT WE ARE SO CONCEITED ABOUT
1310
00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:14,835
THINGS WORK OUT WELL.
BUT WE ARE SO CONCEITED ABOUT
THIS GOD CONCEPT THAT WE'LL GO
1311
00:48:14,859 --> 00:48:16,403
BUT WE ARE SO CONCEITED ABOUT
THIS GOD CONCEPT THAT WE'LL GO
AROUND DESCRIBING HIM TO EACH
1312
00:48:16,427 --> 00:48:16,904
THIS GOD CONCEPT THAT WE'LL GO
AROUND DESCRIBING HIM TO EACH
OTHER.
1313
00:48:16,928 --> 00:48:18,105
AROUND DESCRIBING HIM TO EACH
OTHER.
I MEAN, WE SAY, "HE'S INFINITE,
1314
00:48:18,129 --> 00:48:19,373
OTHER.
I MEAN, WE SAY, "HE'S INFINITE,
AND WE CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND HIM,
1315
00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:20,574
I MEAN, WE SAY, "HE'S INFINITE,
AND WE CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND HIM,
BUT I'LL DESCRIBE HIM FOR YOU."
1316
00:48:20,598 --> 00:48:21,075
AND WE CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND HIM,
BUT I'LL DESCRIBE HIM FOR YOU."
"WHAT?"
1317
00:48:21,099 --> 00:48:22,442
BUT I'LL DESCRIBE HIM FOR YOU."
"WHAT?"
"WELL, HERE'S WHAT HE'S LIKE.
1318
00:48:22,466 --> 00:48:24,979
"WHAT?"
"WELL, HERE'S WHAT HE'S LIKE.
FIRST OF ALL... FIRST OF ALL, HE
1319
00:48:25,003 --> 00:48:26,480
"WELL, HERE'S WHAT HE'S LIKE.
FIRST OF ALL... FIRST OF ALL, HE
KNOWS EVERYTHING.
1320
00:48:26,504 --> 00:48:27,714
FIRST OF ALL... FIRST OF ALL, HE
KNOWS EVERYTHING.
HE KNOWS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
1321
00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:28,749
KNOWS EVERYTHING.
HE KNOWS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M
1322
00:48:28,773 --> 00:48:30,017
HE KNOWS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT... HE KNOWS WHAT I
1323
00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,518
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT... HE KNOWS WHAT I
MEAN.
1324
00:48:31,542 --> 00:48:34,088
TALKING ABOUT... HE KNOWS WHAT I
MEAN.
SECONDLY, HE NEVER STARTED, AND
1325
00:48:34,112 --> 00:48:35,956
MEAN.
SECONDLY, HE NEVER STARTED, AND
HE'S NEVER GONNA END.
1326
00:48:35,980 --> 00:48:38,458
SECONDLY, HE NEVER STARTED, AND
HE'S NEVER GONNA END.
AND THIRD, HE IS ALL-POWERFUL.
1327
00:48:38,482 --> 00:48:39,493
HE'S NEVER GONNA END.
AND THIRD, HE IS ALL-POWERFUL.
HE CAN DO ANYTHING.
1328
00:48:39,517 --> 00:48:41,061
AND THIRD, HE IS ALL-POWERFUL.
HE CAN DO ANYTHING.
HE CAN THROW A CAR RIGHT OVER A
1329
00:48:41,085 --> 00:48:44,798
HE CAN DO ANYTHING.
HE CAN THROW A CAR RIGHT OVER A
WALL.
1330
00:48:44,822 --> 00:48:45,799
HE CAN THROW A CAR RIGHT OVER A
WALL.
HE'S JUST LIKE US.
1331
00:48:45,823 --> 00:48:46,700
WALL.
HE'S JUST LIKE US.
HE'S A COOL GUY.
1332
00:48:46,724 --> 00:48:48,068
HE'S JUST LIKE US.
HE'S A COOL GUY.
THAT'S ALL GOD... HE'S A COOL
1333
00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:48,602
HE'S A COOL GUY.
THAT'S ALL GOD... HE'S A COOL
GUY."
1334
00:48:48,626 --> 00:48:49,603
THAT'S ALL GOD... HE'S A COOL
GUY."
THAT'S WHAT ALL THE RELIGIONS
1335
00:48:49,627 --> 00:48:50,604
GUY."
THAT'S WHAT ALL THE RELIGIONS
TOLD US... HE'S LIKE US.
1336
00:48:50,628 --> 00:48:51,105
THAT'S WHAT ALL THE RELIGIONS
TOLD US... HE'S LIKE US.
HE'S US.
1337
00:48:51,129 --> 00:48:52,206
TOLD US... HE'S LIKE US.
HE'S US.
THAT'S WHAT ALL THE BIG ONES...
1338
00:48:52,230 --> 00:48:53,240
HE'S US.
THAT'S WHAT ALL THE BIG ONES...
ALL THE BIG RELIGIONS SAID,
1339
00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:54,641
THAT'S WHAT ALL THE BIG ONES...
ALL THE BIG RELIGIONS SAID,
"LOVE YOURSELF, LOVE YOUR GOD,
1340
00:48:54,665 --> 00:48:55,910
ALL THE BIG RELIGIONS SAID,
"LOVE YOURSELF, LOVE YOUR GOD,
LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR, BECAUSE
1341
00:48:55,934 --> 00:48:57,211
"LOVE YOURSELF, LOVE YOUR GOD,
LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR, BECAUSE
YOU'RE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME
1342
00:48:57,235 --> 00:48:57,744
LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR, BECAUSE
YOU'RE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME
PERSON.
1343
00:48:57,768 --> 00:48:59,246
YOU'RE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME
PERSON.
WE JUST DON'T HAVE UNIFORMS
1344
00:48:59,270 --> 00:49:00,381
PERSON.
WE JUST DON'T HAVE UNIFORMS
YET... THAT'S ALL."
1345
00:49:00,405 --> 00:49:01,815
WE JUST DON'T HAVE UNIFORMS
YET... THAT'S ALL."
[LAUGHTER]
1346
00:49:01,839 --> 00:49:03,050
YET... THAT'S ALL."
[LAUGHTER]
AND WE DO GO FOR THAT, DON'T WE?
1347
00:49:03,074 --> 00:49:03,918
[LAUGHTER]
AND WE DO GO FOR THAT, DON'T WE?
WE KIND OF BUY THAT.
1348
00:49:03,942 --> 00:49:04,718
AND WE DO GO FOR THAT, DON'T WE?
WE KIND OF BUY THAT.
"OH, YEAH, I'M GOD.
1349
00:49:04,742 --> 00:49:05,352
WE KIND OF BUY THAT.
"OH, YEAH, I'M GOD.
SURE, I'M GOD.
1350
00:49:05,376 --> 00:49:06,520
"OH, YEAH, I'M GOD.
SURE, I'M GOD.
STANLEY IS GOD.
1351
00:49:06,544 --> 00:49:07,621
SURE, I'M GOD.
STANLEY IS GOD.
ARLENE IS GOD.
1352
00:49:07,645 --> 00:49:08,822
STANLEY IS GOD.
ARLENE IS GOD.
GOD AND ME ARE ARLENE AND
1353
00:49:08,846 --> 00:49:09,356
ARLENE IS GOD.
GOD AND ME ARE ARLENE AND
STANLEY."
1354
00:49:09,380 --> 00:49:10,424
GOD AND ME ARE ARLENE AND
STANLEY."
I MEAN, IT'S A LITTLE
1355
00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:11,792
STANLEY."
I MEAN, IT'S A LITTLE
COMPLICATED, BUT WE DO KIND OF
1356
00:49:11,816 --> 00:49:12,526
I MEAN, IT'S A LITTLE
COMPLICATED, BUT WE DO KIND OF
BELIEVE THAT.
1357
00:49:12,550 --> 00:49:14,461
COMPLICATED, BUT WE DO KIND OF
BELIEVE THAT.
AND IF GOD IS LIKE US, I THINK,
1358
00:49:14,485 --> 00:49:16,430
BELIEVE THAT.
AND IF GOD IS LIKE US, I THINK,
PERHAPS, HE MIGHT BE SUBJECT TO
1359
00:49:16,454 --> 00:49:17,898
AND IF GOD IS LIKE US, I THINK,
PERHAPS, HE MIGHT BE SUBJECT TO
PHYSICAL LAWS.
1360
00:49:17,922 --> 00:49:20,834
PERHAPS, HE MIGHT BE SUBJECT TO
PHYSICAL LAWS.
I MEAN, SUPERNATURAL, BUT
1361
00:49:20,858 --> 00:49:21,835
PHYSICAL LAWS.
I MEAN, SUPERNATURAL, BUT
SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS,
1362
00:49:21,859 --> 00:49:22,403
I MEAN, SUPERNATURAL, BUT
SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS,
POSSIBLY.
1363
00:49:22,427 --> 00:49:23,404
SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS,
POSSIBLY.
IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT OF
1364
00:49:23,428 --> 00:49:23,904
POSSIBLY.
IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT OF
THINGS.
1365
00:49:23,928 --> 00:49:25,172
IT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT OF
THINGS.
IT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE ALWAYS
1366
00:49:25,196 --> 00:49:26,240
THINGS.
IT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE ALWAYS
HAS TO SEND AN ANGEL AS A
1367
00:49:26,264 --> 00:49:27,607
IT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY HE ALWAYS
HAS TO SEND AN ANGEL AS A
MESSENGER.
1368
00:49:27,631 --> 00:49:28,642
HAS TO SEND AN ANGEL AS A
MESSENGER.
I MEAN, IF HE'S GOD, WHY DOESN'T
1369
00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:29,243
MESSENGER.
I MEAN, IF HE'S GOD, WHY DOESN'T
HE SHOW UP?
1370
00:49:29,267 --> 00:49:30,244
I MEAN, IF HE'S GOD, WHY DOESN'T
HE SHOW UP?
"HEY, I GOT A MESSAGE FOR YOU.
1371
00:49:30,268 --> 00:49:30,877
HE SHOW UP?
"HEY, I GOT A MESSAGE FOR YOU.
HERE YOU GO."
1372
00:49:30,901 --> 00:49:31,545
"HEY, I GOT A MESSAGE FOR YOU.
HERE YOU GO."
[LAUGHTER]
1373
00:49:31,569 --> 00:49:32,346
HERE YOU GO."
[LAUGHTER]
SENDS AN ANGEL.
1374
00:49:32,370 --> 00:49:33,713
[LAUGHTER]
SENDS AN ANGEL.
AND THE ANGEL ALWAYS FLIES IN
1375
00:49:33,737 --> 00:49:34,548
SENDS AN ANGEL.
AND THE ANGEL ALWAYS FLIES IN
OVER A MOUNTAIN.
1376
00:49:34,572 --> 00:49:35,715
AND THE ANGEL ALWAYS FLIES IN
OVER A MOUNTAIN.
I MEAN, THAT IMPLIES THE
1377
00:49:35,739 --> 00:49:37,084
OVER A MOUNTAIN.
I MEAN, THAT IMPLIES THE
TRAVERSING OF PHYSICAL SPACE.
1378
00:49:37,108 --> 00:49:38,518
I MEAN, THAT IMPLIES THE
TRAVERSING OF PHYSICAL SPACE.
SO, POSSIBLY, GOD IS SUBJECT TO
1379
00:49:38,542 --> 00:49:39,286
TRAVERSING OF PHYSICAL SPACE.
SO, POSSIBLY, GOD IS SUBJECT TO
PHYSICAL LAWS.
1380
00:49:39,310 --> 00:49:40,754
SO, POSSIBLY, GOD IS SUBJECT TO
PHYSICAL LAWS.
PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, IF GOD IS SO
1381
00:49:40,778 --> 00:49:42,957
PHYSICAL LAWS.
PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, IF GOD IS SO
BENEVOLENT, HOW CAN HE LET
1382
00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:44,158
PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, IF GOD IS SO
BENEVOLENT, HOW CAN HE LET
PEOPLE SUFFER?"
1383
00:49:44,182 --> 00:49:46,160
BENEVOLENT, HOW CAN HE LET
PEOPLE SUFFER?"
HE CAN'T HELP IT, LADY...
1384
00:49:46,184 --> 00:49:48,162
PEOPLE SUFFER?"
HE CAN'T HELP IT, LADY...
SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS.
1385
00:49:48,186 --> 00:49:50,730
HE CAN'T HELP IT, LADY...
SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS.
MAYBE HE'S ONLY A SEMI-SUPREME
1386
00:49:50,754 --> 00:49:53,434
SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL LAWS.
MAYBE HE'S ONLY A SEMI-SUPREME
BEING, BECAUSE HE'S LIKE US, AND
1387
00:49:53,458 --> 00:49:55,135
MAYBE HE'S ONLY A SEMI-SUPREME
BEING, BECAUSE HE'S LIKE US, AND
WE'RE NOT PERFECT.
1388
00:49:55,159 --> 00:49:57,438
BEING, BECAUSE HE'S LIKE US, AND
WE'RE NOT PERFECT.
I THINK GOD MAY NOT BE PERFECT.
1389
00:49:57,462 --> 00:49:59,539
WE'RE NOT PERFECT.
I THINK GOD MAY NOT BE PERFECT.
I THINK HIS WORK SHOWS THAT.
1390
00:49:59,563 --> 00:50:01,075
I THINK GOD MAY NOT BE PERFECT.
I THINK HIS WORK SHOWS THAT.
[LAUGHTER]
1391
00:50:01,099 --> 00:50:02,242
I THINK HIS WORK SHOWS THAT.
[LAUGHTER]
TAKE A LOOK AT A MOUNTAIN RANGE.
1392
00:50:02,266 --> 00:50:03,010
[LAUGHTER]
TAKE A LOOK AT A MOUNTAIN RANGE.
THEY'RE ALL CROOKED.
1393
00:50:03,034 --> 00:50:04,445
TAKE A LOOK AT A MOUNTAIN RANGE.
THEY'RE ALL CROOKED.
THEY'RE NEVER IN LINE, ALL
1394
00:50:04,469 --> 00:50:05,412
THEY'RE ALL CROOKED.
THEY'RE NEVER IN LINE, ALL
DIFFERENT SIZES.
1395
00:50:05,436 --> 00:50:06,913
THEY'RE NEVER IN LINE, ALL
DIFFERENT SIZES.
THERE ARE NO TWO LEAVES THE
1396
00:50:06,937 --> 00:50:07,381
DIFFERENT SIZES.
THERE ARE NO TWO LEAVES THE
SAME.
1397
00:50:07,405 --> 00:50:08,782
THERE ARE NO TWO LEAVES THE
SAME.
HE CAN'T EVEN GIVE TWO PEOPLE
1398
00:50:08,806 --> 00:50:09,883
SAME.
HE CAN'T EVEN GIVE TWO PEOPLE
THE SAME FINGERPRINTS.
1399
00:50:09,907 --> 00:50:11,385
HE CAN'T EVEN GIVE TWO PEOPLE
THE SAME FINGERPRINTS.
HE'S HAD BILLIONS OF YEARS TO
1400
00:50:11,409 --> 00:50:13,320
THE SAME FINGERPRINTS.
HE'S HAD BILLIONS OF YEARS TO
WORK ON THIS STUFF.
1401
00:50:13,344 --> 00:50:17,992
HE'S HAD BILLIONS OF YEARS TO
WORK ON THIS STUFF.
AND EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER MADE
1402
00:50:18,016 --> 00:50:19,460
WORK ON THIS STUFF.
AND EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER MADE
DIED!
1403
00:50:19,484 --> 00:50:21,495
AND EVERYTHING HE HAS EVER MADE
DIED!
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
1404
00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:25,532
DIED!
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
EVERYTHING SO FAR... SO FAR.
1405
00:50:25,556 --> 00:50:29,003
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
EVERYTHING SO FAR... SO FAR.
WHOA.
1406
00:50:29,027 --> 00:50:30,337
EVERYTHING SO FAR... SO FAR.
WHOA.
WHERE DID HE GET THIS GREAT
1407
00:50:30,361 --> 00:50:30,971
WHOA.
WHERE DID HE GET THIS GREAT
REPUTATION?
1408
00:50:30,995 --> 00:50:33,607
WHERE DID HE GET THIS GREAT
REPUTATION?
HE'S BATTING .000.
1409
00:50:33,631 --> 00:50:35,609
REPUTATION?
HE'S BATTING .000.
NOW, SOME RELIGIONS... WHICH ARE
1410
00:50:35,633 --> 00:50:37,478
HE'S BATTING .000.
NOW, SOME RELIGIONS... WHICH ARE
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH GOD...
1411
00:50:37,502 --> 00:50:38,712
NOW, SOME RELIGIONS... WHICH ARE
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH GOD...
SOME RELIGIONS WILL TELL YOU
1412
00:50:38,736 --> 00:50:39,913
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH GOD...
SOME RELIGIONS WILL TELL YOU
THAT IT'S QUITE OKAY NOT TO
1413
00:50:39,937 --> 00:50:41,081
SOME RELIGIONS WILL TELL YOU
THAT IT'S QUITE OKAY NOT TO
WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE.
1414
00:50:41,105 --> 00:50:42,616
THAT IT'S QUITE OKAY NOT TO
WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE.
RELIGION IS A WAY OF RELIEVING
1415
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:44,118
WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN LIFE.
RELIGION IS A WAY OF RELIEVING
YOURSELF OF ANY RESPONSIBILITY
1416
00:50:44,142 --> 00:50:44,951
RELIGION IS A WAY OF RELIEVING
YOURSELF OF ANY RESPONSIBILITY
FOR YOUR ACTS.
1417
00:50:44,975 --> 00:50:47,354
YOURSELF OF ANY RESPONSIBILITY
FOR YOUR ACTS.
"IT WAS GOD'S WILL.
1418
00:50:47,378 --> 00:50:48,055
FOR YOUR ACTS.
"IT WAS GOD'S WILL.
YES, GOD'S WILL.
1419
00:50:48,079 --> 00:50:49,056
"IT WAS GOD'S WILL.
YES, GOD'S WILL.
OH, I RAN OVER THE KID IN THE
1420
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:50,124
YES, GOD'S WILL.
OH, I RAN OVER THE KID IN THE
DRIVEWAY, YES, BUT DON'T LOOK AT
1421
00:50:50,148 --> 00:50:50,557
OH, I RAN OVER THE KID IN THE
DRIVEWAY, YES, BUT DON'T LOOK AT
ME.
1422
00:50:50,581 --> 00:50:51,525
DRIVEWAY, YES, BUT DON'T LOOK AT
ME.
[CHUCKLES]
1423
00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:52,526
ME.
[CHUCKLES]
GOD'S WILL."
1424
00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:53,693
[CHUCKLES]
GOD'S WILL."
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
1425
00:50:53,717 --> 00:50:54,961
GOD'S WILL."
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
CAN YOU SEE A LYNCH MOB GOING,
1426
00:50:54,985 --> 00:50:56,296
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
CAN YOU SEE A LYNCH MOB GOING,
"NOW, LET'S GET THIS GUY... GOD.
1427
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:57,398
CAN YOU SEE A LYNCH MOB GOING,
"NOW, LET'S GET THIS GUY... GOD.
THAT'S THE FOURTH KID HE'S
1428
00:50:57,422 --> 00:50:59,266
"NOW, LET'S GET THIS GUY... GOD.
THAT'S THE FOURTH KID HE'S
KILLED THIS WEEK."
1429
00:50:59,290 --> 00:51:01,835
THAT'S THE FOURTH KID HE'S
KILLED THIS WEEK."
RELIGION... RELIGION AT BEST...
1430
00:51:01,859 --> 00:51:04,071
KILLED THIS WEEK."
RELIGION... RELIGION AT BEST...
AT BEST... IS LIKE A LIFT IN
1431
00:51:04,095 --> 00:51:05,072
RELIGION... RELIGION AT BEST...
AT BEST... IS LIKE A LIFT IN
YOUR SHOE.
1432
00:51:05,096 --> 00:51:06,507
AT BEST... IS LIKE A LIFT IN
YOUR SHOE.
IF YOU NEED IT FOR A WHILE AND
1433
00:51:06,531 --> 00:51:07,908
YOUR SHOE.
IF YOU NEED IT FOR A WHILE AND
IT MAKES YOU WALK STRAIGHT AND
1434
00:51:07,932 --> 00:51:09,576
IF YOU NEED IT FOR A WHILE AND
IT MAKES YOU WALK STRAIGHT AND
FEEL BETTER, FINE, BUT YOU DON'T
1435
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:11,045
IT MAKES YOU WALK STRAIGHT AND
FEEL BETTER, FINE, BUT YOU DON'T
NEED IT FOREVER, OR YOU CAN
1436
00:51:11,069 --> 00:51:12,946
FEEL BETTER, FINE, BUT YOU DON'T
NEED IT FOREVER, OR YOU CAN
BECOME PERMANENTLY DISABLED.
1437
00:51:12,970 --> 00:51:14,415
NEED IT FOREVER, OR YOU CAN
BECOME PERMANENTLY DISABLED.
RELIGION IS LIKE A LIFT IN THE
1438
00:51:14,439 --> 00:51:14,915
BECOME PERMANENTLY DISABLED.
RELIGION IS LIKE A LIFT IN THE
SHOE.
1439
00:51:14,939 --> 00:51:16,483
RELIGION IS LIKE A LIFT IN THE
SHOE.
AND I SAY, JUST DON'T ASK ME TO
1440
00:51:16,507 --> 00:51:18,018
SHOE.
AND I SAY, JUST DON'T ASK ME TO
WEAR YOUR SHOES, AND LET'S NOT
1441
00:51:18,042 --> 00:51:19,586
AND I SAY, JUST DON'T ASK ME TO
WEAR YOUR SHOES, AND LET'S NOT
GO DOWN AND NAIL LIFTS ONTO THE
1442
00:51:19,610 --> 00:51:21,221
WEAR YOUR SHOES, AND LET'S NOT
GO DOWN AND NAIL LIFTS ONTO THE
NATIVES' FEET.
1443
00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:22,222
GO DOWN AND NAIL LIFTS ONTO THE
NATIVES' FEET.
THANK YOU.
1444
00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:27,127
NATIVES' FEET.
THANK YOU.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1445
00:51:27,151 --> 00:51:29,163
THANK YOU.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Announcer: ONCE AGAIN, HERE'S
1446
00:51:29,187 --> 00:51:31,098
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Announcer: ONCE AGAIN, HERE'S
BILLY PRESTON WITH HIS NEW HIT
1447
00:51:31,122 --> 00:51:32,866
Announcer: ONCE AGAIN, HERE'S
BILLY PRESTON WITH HIS NEW HIT
"FANCY LADY."
1448
00:51:32,890 --> 00:51:34,634
BILLY PRESTON WITH HIS NEW HIT
"FANCY LADY."
[BILLY PRESTON'S "FANCY LADY"
1449
00:51:34,658 --> 00:51:36,592
"FANCY LADY."
[BILLY PRESTON'S "FANCY LADY"
PLAYS]
1450
00:51:50,173 --> 00:51:56,723
♪ FANCY LADY
IS MASQUERADING ♪
♪ WITH A HEART THAT NOBODY CAN
1451
00:51:56,747 --> 00:51:58,525
IS MASQUERADING ♪
♪ WITH A HEART THAT NOBODY CAN
SEE ♪
1452
00:51:58,549 --> 00:52:00,060
♪ WITH A HEART THAT NOBODY CAN
SEE ♪
♪ TIME IS WASTING THERE ♪
1453
00:52:00,084 --> 00:52:02,529
SEE ♪
♪ TIME IS WASTING THERE ♪
♪ THERE'S NO ESCAPING ♪
1454
00:52:02,553 --> 00:52:04,398
♪ TIME IS WASTING THERE ♪
♪ THERE'S NO ESCAPING ♪
♪ HOW LONG WILL YOUR SWEET
1455
00:52:04,422 --> 00:52:06,467
♪ THERE'S NO ESCAPING ♪
♪ HOW LONG WILL YOUR SWEET
PLEASURE BE? ♪
1456
00:52:06,491 --> 00:52:08,335
♪ HOW LONG WILL YOUR SWEET
PLEASURE BE? ♪
♪ FANCY LADY,
1457
00:52:08,359 --> 00:52:10,604
PLEASURE BE? ♪
♪ FANCY LADY,
YOU ARE JUST A STRANGER
1458
00:52:10,628 --> 00:52:13,140
♪ FANCY LADY,
YOU ARE JUST A STRANGER
TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET
1459
00:52:13,164 --> 00:52:14,774
YOU ARE JUST A STRANGER
TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET
TO KNOW ♪
1460
00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:17,377
TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET
TO KNOW ♪
♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL THE BROKEN
1461
00:52:17,401 --> 00:52:18,612
TO KNOW ♪
♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL THE BROKEN
TRACES ♪
1462
00:52:18,636 --> 00:52:20,947
♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL THE BROKEN
TRACES ♪
♪ OF THE ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO
1463
00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:22,116
TRACES ♪
♪ OF THE ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO
LET GO ♪
1464
00:52:22,140 --> 00:52:23,917
♪ OF THE ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO
LET GO ♪
♪ OH, I GOT LOVE ♪
1465
00:52:23,941 --> 00:52:26,686
LET GO ♪
♪ OH, I GOT LOVE ♪
♪ YOU CAN SAMPLE MY WARES ♪
1466
00:52:26,710 --> 00:52:27,821
♪ OH, I GOT LOVE ♪
♪ YOU CAN SAMPLE MY WARES ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
1467
00:52:27,845 --> 00:52:29,022
♪ YOU CAN SAMPLE MY WARES ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪
1468
00:52:29,046 --> 00:52:30,557
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪
♪ COME ON AND TRY IF YOU
1469
00:52:30,581 --> 00:52:31,091
♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪
♪ COME ON AND TRY IF YOU
DARE ♪
1470
00:52:31,115 --> 00:52:32,126
♪ COME ON AND TRY IF YOU
DARE ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
1471
00:52:32,150 --> 00:52:32,959
DARE ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪
1472
00:52:32,983 --> 00:52:34,027
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪
♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪
1473
00:52:34,051 --> 00:52:35,061
♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪
♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪
♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES, BABY ♪
1474
00:52:35,085 --> 00:52:36,363
♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪
♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES, BABY ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE, HONEY ♪
1475
00:52:36,387 --> 00:52:37,764
♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES, BABY ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE, HONEY ♪
♪ YOU GOT REAL GOOD LOVE FOR
1476
00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:38,499
♪ I GOT LOVE, HONEY ♪
♪ YOU GOT REAL GOOD LOVE FOR
SALE ♪
1477
00:52:38,523 --> 00:52:39,566
♪ YOU GOT REAL GOOD LOVE FOR
SALE ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
1478
00:52:39,590 --> 00:52:41,101
SALE ♪
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ FANCY LADY,
1479
00:52:41,125 --> 00:52:42,202
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ FANCY LADY,
WHERE ARE ALL YOUR CHILDREN,
1480
00:52:42,226 --> 00:52:43,170
♪ FANCY LADY,
WHERE ARE ALL YOUR CHILDREN,
GIRL ♪
1481
00:52:43,194 --> 00:52:45,739
WHERE ARE ALL YOUR CHILDREN,
GIRL ♪
♪ WHO WERE BORN TO YOU, SO SWEET
1482
00:52:45,763 --> 00:52:47,274
GIRL ♪
♪ WHO WERE BORN TO YOU, SO SWEET
AND TRUE? ♪
1483
00:52:47,298 --> 00:52:49,510
♪ WHO WERE BORN TO YOU, SO SWEET
AND TRUE? ♪
♪ WILL YOU GIVE THEM ALL YOUR
1484
00:52:49,534 --> 00:52:51,378
AND TRUE? ♪
♪ WILL YOU GIVE THEM ALL YOUR
SAD PARADING ♪
1485
00:52:51,402 --> 00:52:53,447
♪ WILL YOU GIVE THEM ALL YOUR
SAD PARADING ♪
♪ HAVE THEM DOING THE SAME
1486
00:52:53,471 --> 00:52:55,382
SAD PARADING ♪
♪ HAVE THEM DOING THE SAME
THINGS YOU DO? ♪
1487
00:52:55,406 --> 00:52:57,651
♪ HAVE THEM DOING THE SAME
THINGS YOU DO? ♪
♪ THE GREAT CREATOR, HE'S A
1488
00:52:57,675 --> 00:52:59,853
THINGS YOU DO? ♪
♪ THE GREAT CREATOR, HE'S A
LIBERATOR, YES, HE IS ♪
1489
00:52:59,877 --> 00:53:02,256
♪ THE GREAT CREATOR, HE'S A
LIBERATOR, YES, HE IS ♪
♪ HE ALWAYS LENDS A HELPING
1490
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:03,624
LIBERATOR, YES, HE IS ♪
♪ HE ALWAYS LENDS A HELPING
HAND ♪
1491
00:53:03,648 --> 00:53:05,292
♪ HE ALWAYS LENDS A HELPING
HAND ♪
♪ FANCY LADY,
1492
00:53:05,316 --> 00:53:07,561
HAND ♪
♪ FANCY LADY,
TIME IS NO WAITER ♪
1493
00:53:07,585 --> 00:53:09,563
♪ FANCY LADY,
TIME IS NO WAITER ♪
♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE
1494
00:53:09,587 --> 00:53:11,765
TIME IS NO WAITER ♪
♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE
YOU CAN SAY ♪
1495
00:53:11,789 --> 00:53:14,309
♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE
YOU CAN SAY ♪
[INSTRUMENTAL SOLO]
1496
00:53:28,538 --> 00:53:34,854
♪ FANCY LADY, AH,
YOU'RE JUST A STRANGER, GIRL,
TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET
1497
00:53:34,878 --> 00:53:36,557
YOU'RE JUST A STRANGER, GIRL,
TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET
TO KNOW ♪
1498
00:53:36,581 --> 00:53:39,092
TO ALL THE LOVERS YOU DON'T GET
TO KNOW ♪
♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL YOUR BROKEN
1499
00:53:39,116 --> 00:53:40,561
TO KNOW ♪
♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL YOUR BROKEN
TRACES ♪
1500
00:53:40,585 --> 00:53:42,762
♪ YOU TRY HIDING ALL YOUR BROKEN
TRACES ♪
♪ OF THAT ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO
1501
00:53:42,786 --> 00:53:44,598
TRACES ♪
♪ OF THAT ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO
LET GO ♪
1502
00:53:44,622 --> 00:53:46,500
♪ OF THAT ONE LOVE YOU HAD TO
LET GO ♪
♪ FANCY LADY,
1503
00:53:46,524 --> 00:53:48,635
LET GO ♪
♪ FANCY LADY,
HE'S A GREAT CREATOR, GIRL ♪
1504
00:53:48,659 --> 00:53:50,937
♪ FANCY LADY,
HE'S A GREAT CREATOR, GIRL ♪
♪ THE LORD IS ALWAYS LENDING A
1505
00:53:50,961 --> 00:53:52,872
HE'S A GREAT CREATOR, GIRL ♪
♪ THE LORD IS ALWAYS LENDING A
HELPING HAND ♪
1506
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:54,441
♪ THE LORD IS ALWAYS LENDING A
HELPING HAND ♪
♪ FANCY LADY,
1507
00:53:54,465 --> 00:53:56,943
HELPING HAND ♪
♪ FANCY LADY,
TIME IS NO WAITER ♪
1508
00:53:56,967 --> 00:53:58,712
♪ FANCY LADY,
TIME IS NO WAITER ♪
♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE
1509
00:53:58,736 --> 00:54:00,947
TIME IS NO WAITER ♪
♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE
YOU CAN SAY ♪
1510
00:54:00,971 --> 00:54:02,882
♪ IT WILL RUN OUT ON YOU BEFORE
YOU CAN SAY ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
1511
00:54:02,906 --> 00:54:08,589
YOU CAN SAY ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
[DRUM SOLO]
1512
00:54:08,613 --> 00:54:10,390
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
[DRUM SOLO]
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
1513
00:54:10,414 --> 00:54:12,593
[DRUM SOLO]
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
♪ SAMPLE MY WARES ♪
1514
00:54:12,617 --> 00:54:14,261
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
♪ SAMPLE MY WARES ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
1515
00:54:14,285 --> 00:54:16,863
♪ SAMPLE MY WARES ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH, TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪
1516
00:54:16,887 --> 00:54:17,764
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
♪ YEAH, TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
1517
00:54:17,788 --> 00:54:18,599
♪ YEAH, TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪
1518
00:54:18,623 --> 00:54:19,833
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪
♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪
1519
00:54:19,857 --> 00:54:20,900
♪ YOU GOT LOVE ♪
♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪
♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES ♪
1520
00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:22,068
♪ SAMPLE MY WA-A-A-RES ♪
♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES ♪
♪ I GOT TO LOVE, BOY ♪
1521
00:54:22,092 --> 00:54:23,837
♪ SAMPLE YOUR WARES ♪
♪ I GOT TO LOVE, BOY ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO LOVE ♪
1522
00:54:23,861 --> 00:54:25,205
♪ I GOT TO LOVE, BOY ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO LOVE ♪
♪ TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪
1523
00:54:25,229 --> 00:54:26,005
♪ YOU GOT TO LOVE ♪
♪ TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪
♪ I'M A MAN ♪
1524
00:54:26,029 --> 00:54:27,040
♪ TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪
♪ I'M A MAN ♪
♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪
1525
00:54:27,064 --> 00:54:28,007
♪ I'M A MAN ♪
♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪
♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪
1526
00:54:28,031 --> 00:54:29,075
♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪
♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪
♪ SAMPLE MY WARES, BOY ♪
1527
00:54:29,099 --> 00:54:30,176
♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪
♪ SAMPLE MY WARES, BOY ♪
♪ I WANT YOUR LOVE, BABY,
1528
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:30,711
♪ SAMPLE MY WARES, BOY ♪
♪ I WANT YOUR LOVE, BABY,
YEAH ♪
1529
00:54:30,735 --> 00:54:31,612
♪ I WANT YOUR LOVE, BABY,
YEAH ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
1530
00:54:31,636 --> 00:54:32,646
YEAH ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
♪ YOU CAN TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪
1531
00:54:32,670 --> 00:54:34,548
♪ I GOT LOVE ♪
♪ YOU CAN TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪
♪ GIVE IT TO ME, BABY ♪
1532
00:54:34,572 --> 00:54:35,749
♪ YOU CAN TRY IT IF YOU DARE ♪
♪ GIVE IT TO ME, BABY ♪
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
1533
00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:36,583
♪ GIVE IT TO ME, BABY ♪
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪
1534
00:54:36,607 --> 00:54:38,051
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
1535
00:54:38,075 --> 00:54:38,719
♪ WHOO-OOH-OOH ♪
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
♪ I GOT IT ♪
1536
00:54:38,743 --> 00:54:41,020
♪ I GOT LOVE, BABY ♪
♪ I GOT IT ♪
♪ SAMPLE MY WARES! ♪
1537
00:54:41,044 --> 00:54:43,204
♪ I GOT IT ♪
♪ SAMPLE MY WARES! ♪
[INSTRUMENTAL SOLO]
1538
00:55:02,131 --> 00:55:05,501
♪ AH! ♪
♪ AH ♪
1539
00:55:10,407 --> 00:55:15,344
♪ ALL RIGHT ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1540
00:55:20,684 --> 00:55:24,998
OH, HONEY, "BOEING BOEING"
WITH JERRY LEWIS IS ON IN 10
MINUTES.
1541
00:55:25,022 --> 00:55:26,333
WITH JERRY LEWIS IS ON IN 10
MINUTES.
AW, SWEETHEART, I'M TIRED.
1542
00:55:26,357 --> 00:55:27,567
MINUTES.
AW, SWEETHEART, I'M TIRED.
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA HAVE
1543
00:55:27,591 --> 00:55:29,002
AW, SWEETHEART, I'M TIRED.
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA HAVE
ANOTHER GLASS OF DIET ROOT BEER
1544
00:55:29,026 --> 00:55:29,969
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA HAVE
ANOTHER GLASS OF DIET ROOT BEER
AND GO TO BED, OKAY?
1545
00:55:29,993 --> 00:55:30,870
ANOTHER GLASS OF DIET ROOT BEER
AND GO TO BED, OKAY?
[GLASS SHATTERS]
1546
00:55:30,894 --> 00:55:31,571
AND GO TO BED, OKAY?
[GLASS SHATTERS]
ALL RIGHT.
1547
00:55:31,595 --> 00:55:32,406
[GLASS SHATTERS]
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT WAS THAT?!
1548
00:55:32,430 --> 00:55:33,139
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT WAS THAT?!
WHAT'S GOING...
1549
00:55:33,163 --> 00:55:33,840
WHAT WAS THAT?!
WHAT'S GOING...
HI, THERE!
1550
00:55:33,864 --> 00:55:35,008
WHAT'S GOING...
HI, THERE!
PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED.
1551
00:55:35,032 --> 00:55:36,410
HI, THERE!
PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED.
THIS IS ONLY A SIMULATED ASSAULT
1552
00:55:36,434 --> 00:55:37,110
PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED.
THIS IS ONLY A SIMULATED ASSAULT
AND BURGLARY.
1553
00:55:37,134 --> 00:55:38,412
THIS IS ONLY A SIMULATED ASSAULT
AND BURGLARY.
REPEAT... THIS IS A SIMULATED
1554
00:55:38,436 --> 00:55:39,879
AND BURGLARY.
REPEAT... THIS IS A SIMULATED
ASSAULT AND BURGLARY.
1555
00:55:39,903 --> 00:55:40,980
REPEAT... THIS IS A SIMULATED
ASSAULT AND BURGLARY.
THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU AT ANY
1556
00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:41,281
ASSAULT AND BURGLARY.
THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU AT ANY
TIME.
1557
00:55:41,305 --> 00:55:42,048
THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU AT ANY
TIME.
IN FACT, IT JUST HAS.
1558
00:55:42,072 --> 00:55:43,016
TIME.
IN FACT, IT JUST HAS.
HONEY, CALL THE POLICE!
1559
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:43,550
IN FACT, IT JUST HAS.
HONEY, CALL THE POLICE!
DO SOMETHING!
1560
00:55:43,574 --> 00:55:44,685
HONEY, CALL THE POLICE!
DO SOMETHING!
NO, NO, NO, NO.
1561
00:55:44,709 --> 00:55:45,985
DO SOMETHING!
NO, NO, NO, NO.
DON'T CALL THE POLICE.
1562
00:55:46,009 --> 00:55:47,020
NO, NO, NO, NO.
DON'T CALL THE POLICE.
I AM THE POLICE.
1563
00:55:47,044 --> 00:55:48,188
DON'T CALL THE POLICE.
I AM THE POLICE.
I MIGHT BE, ANYWAY.
1564
00:55:48,212 --> 00:55:49,589
I AM THE POLICE.
I MIGHT BE, ANYWAY.
HI, MR. AND MRS. KROMER.
1565
00:55:49,613 --> 00:55:51,090
I MIGHT BE, ANYWAY.
HI, MR. AND MRS. KROMER.
MY NAME IS KENNY VORSTRATHER.
1566
00:55:51,114 --> 00:55:52,592
HI, MR. AND MRS. KROMER.
MY NAME IS KENNY VORSTRATHER.
I'M PRESIDENT OF TROJAN HORSE
1567
00:55:52,616 --> 00:55:55,462
MY NAME IS KENNY VORSTRATHER.
I'M PRESIDENT OF TROJAN HORSE
HOME SECURITY.
1568
00:55:55,486 --> 00:55:56,697
I'M PRESIDENT OF TROJAN HORSE
HOME SECURITY.
I BROKE INTO YOUR HOME TONIGHT
1569
00:55:56,721 --> 00:55:57,964
HOME SECURITY.
I BROKE INTO YOUR HOME TONIGHT
TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW VULNERABLE
1570
00:55:57,988 --> 00:55:59,032
I BROKE INTO YOUR HOME TONIGHT
TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW VULNERABLE
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE TO
1571
00:55:59,056 --> 00:56:00,166
TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW VULNERABLE
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE TO
CRIME.
1572
00:56:00,190 --> 00:56:01,468
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE TO
CRIME.
I SELL A COMPLETE RANGE OF
1573
00:56:01,492 --> 00:56:02,669
CRIME.
I SELL A COMPLETE RANGE OF
HOME-AND-GARDEN SECURITY
1574
00:56:02,693 --> 00:56:03,203
I SELL A COMPLETE RANGE OF
HOME-AND-GARDEN SECURITY
DEVICES.
1575
00:56:03,227 --> 00:56:04,604
HOME-AND-GARDEN SECURITY
DEVICES.
YOU MIGHT SAY SECURITY IS MY
1576
00:56:04,628 --> 00:56:05,004
DEVICES.
YOU MIGHT SAY SECURITY IS MY
LIFE.
1577
00:56:05,028 --> 00:56:06,506
YOU MIGHT SAY SECURITY IS MY
LIFE.
I'M FULLY QUALIFIED TO MAKE YOU
1578
00:56:06,530 --> 00:56:07,207
LIFE.
I'M FULLY QUALIFIED TO MAKE YOU
FEEL SECURE.
1579
00:56:07,231 --> 00:56:08,642
I'M FULLY QUALIFIED TO MAKE YOU
FEEL SECURE.
I USED TO BE AN ARMORED-TRUCK
1580
00:56:08,666 --> 00:56:09,843
FEEL SECURE.
I USED TO BE AN ARMORED-TRUCK
MECHANIC IN LEEBER CITY,
1581
00:56:09,867 --> 00:56:10,410
I USED TO BE AN ARMORED-TRUCK
MECHANIC IN LEEBER CITY,
ARIZONA.
1582
00:56:10,434 --> 00:56:11,845
MECHANIC IN LEEBER CITY,
ARIZONA.
AND, YOU, MR. KROMER, HAVE THE
1583
00:56:11,869 --> 00:56:13,413
ARIZONA.
AND, YOU, MR. KROMER, HAVE THE
PERFECT RIGHT TO THROW ME OUT OF
1584
00:56:13,437 --> 00:56:14,781
AND, YOU, MR. KROMER, HAVE THE
PERFECT RIGHT TO THROW ME OUT OF
YOUR HOUSE, IF YOU THINK YOU
1585
00:56:14,805 --> 00:56:16,817
PERFECT RIGHT TO THROW ME OUT OF
YOUR HOUSE, IF YOU THINK YOU
CAN.
1586
00:56:16,841 --> 00:56:18,318
YOUR HOUSE, IF YOU THINK YOU
CAN.
IF I THINK I CAN?!
1587
00:56:18,342 --> 00:56:19,319
CAN.
IF I THINK I CAN?!
YOU'RE A PRETTY HEFTY GUY,
1588
00:56:19,343 --> 00:56:19,919
IF I THINK I CAN?!
YOU'RE A PRETTY HEFTY GUY,
AREN'T YOU?
1589
00:56:19,943 --> 00:56:20,954
YOU'RE A PRETTY HEFTY GUY,
AREN'T YOU?
FREEZE, MR. KROMER, OR ELSE
1590
00:56:20,978 --> 00:56:22,889
AREN'T YOU?
FREEZE, MR. KROMER, OR ELSE
THE LITTLE LADY GETS CRIPPLED!
1591
00:56:22,913 --> 00:56:24,123
FREEZE, MR. KROMER, OR ELSE
THE LITTLE LADY GETS CRIPPLED!
[LAUGHS]
1592
00:56:24,147 --> 00:56:24,924
THE LITTLE LADY GETS CRIPPLED!
[LAUGHS]
DON'T WORRY, FOLKS.
1593
00:56:24,948 --> 00:56:25,726
[LAUGHS]
DON'T WORRY, FOLKS.
HE WON'T HURT YOU.
1594
00:56:25,750 --> 00:56:26,593
DON'T WORRY, FOLKS.
HE WON'T HURT YOU.
THIS IS MY ASSISTANT.
1595
00:56:26,617 --> 00:56:27,527
HE WON'T HURT YOU.
THIS IS MY ASSISTANT.
HE'S VICE PRESIDENT OF
1596
00:56:27,551 --> 00:56:28,729
THIS IS MY ASSISTANT.
HE'S VICE PRESIDENT OF
TROJAN HORSE SECURITY.
1597
00:56:28,753 --> 00:56:31,531
HE'S VICE PRESIDENT OF
TROJAN HORSE SECURITY.
HIS NAME IS HARVEY MORGOMASTER.
1598
00:56:31,555 --> 00:56:32,999
TROJAN HORSE SECURITY.
HIS NAME IS HARVEY MORGOMASTER.
AND HARVEY, LIKE MYSELF, IS A
1599
00:56:33,023 --> 00:56:33,933
HIS NAME IS HARVEY MORGOMASTER.
AND HARVEY, LIKE MYSELF, IS A
SECURITY EXPERT.
1600
00:56:33,957 --> 00:56:35,268
AND HARVEY, LIKE MYSELF, IS A
SECURITY EXPERT.
HE WORKED IN THE ARMY AS A
1601
00:56:35,292 --> 00:56:36,837
SECURITY EXPERT.
HE WORKED IN THE ARMY AS A
CAMOUFLAGE ARTIST, PAINTING THE
1602
00:56:36,861 --> 00:56:39,138
HE WORKED IN THE ARMY AS A
CAMOUFLAGE ARTIST, PAINTING THE
INSIDE OF PAYROLL VAULTS.
1603
00:56:39,162 --> 00:56:40,607
CAMOUFLAGE ARTIST, PAINTING THE
INSIDE OF PAYROLL VAULTS.
MR. AND MRS. KROMER, WE OFFER A
1604
00:56:40,631 --> 00:56:42,008
INSIDE OF PAYROLL VAULTS.
MR. AND MRS. KROMER, WE OFFER A
TOTAL-SECURITY PROTECTION PLAN
1605
00:56:42,032 --> 00:56:43,477
MR. AND MRS. KROMER, WE OFFER A
TOTAL-SECURITY PROTECTION PLAN
FOR YOUR FAMILY AND HOME... FOR
1606
00:56:43,501 --> 00:56:45,412
TOTAL-SECURITY PROTECTION PLAN
FOR YOUR FAMILY AND HOME... FOR
INSTANCE, THE TPFLM SYSTEM.
1607
00:56:45,436 --> 00:56:46,713
FOR YOUR FAMILY AND HOME... FOR
INSTANCE, THE TPFLM SYSTEM.
TPFLM?
1608
00:56:46,737 --> 00:56:47,681
INSTANCE, THE TPFLM SYSTEM.
TPFLM?
TACTICALLY POSITIONED
1609
00:56:47,705 --> 00:56:49,182
TPFLM?
TACTICALLY POSITIONED
FRONT-LAWN MINES.
1610
00:56:49,206 --> 00:56:51,017
TACTICALLY POSITIONED
FRONT-LAWN MINES.
OR... HOW ABOUT THESE REC-ROOM
1611
00:56:51,041 --> 00:56:52,986
FRONT-LAWN MINES.
OR... HOW ABOUT THESE REC-ROOM
SEARCHLIGHTS, COLOR-COORDINATED
1612
00:56:53,010 --> 00:56:54,821
OR... HOW ABOUT THESE REC-ROOM
SEARCHLIGHTS, COLOR-COORDINATED
FOR FASHIONABLE SURVEILLANCE?
1613
00:56:54,845 --> 00:56:56,590
SEARCHLIGHTS, COLOR-COORDINATED
FOR FASHIONABLE SURVEILLANCE?
AND... FOR TOTAL PROTECTION IN
1614
00:56:56,614 --> 00:56:58,157
FOR FASHIONABLE SURVEILLANCE?
AND... FOR TOTAL PROTECTION IN
THE BATHROOM, TOILET-BOWL
1615
00:56:58,181 --> 00:57:00,527
AND... FOR TOTAL PROTECTION IN
THE BATHROOM, TOILET-BOWL
PIRANHA.
1616
00:57:00,551 --> 00:57:02,061
THE BATHROOM, TOILET-BOWL
PIRANHA.
IT'S A TOOTHY SURPRISE FOR THE
1617
00:57:02,085 --> 00:57:03,363
PIRANHA.
IT'S A TOOTHY SURPRISE FOR THE
THIEF WHO CRAVES RELIEF,
1618
00:57:03,387 --> 00:57:04,765
IT'S A TOOTHY SURPRISE FOR THE
THIEF WHO CRAVES RELIEF,
MR. KROMER.
1619
00:57:04,789 --> 00:57:06,032
THIEF WHO CRAVES RELIEF,
MR. KROMER.
WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.
1620
00:57:06,056 --> 00:57:07,467
MR. KROMER.
WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.
IF WE HAVE OUR... OUR LAWN
1621
00:57:07,491 --> 00:57:08,935
WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.
IF WE HAVE OUR... OUR LAWN
MINED, WHAT DO WE NEED THIS
1622
00:57:08,959 --> 00:57:10,404
IF WE HAVE OUR... OUR LAWN
MINED, WHAT DO WE NEED THIS
STUFF INSIDE THE HOUSE FOR?
1623
00:57:10,428 --> 00:57:13,339
MINED, WHAT DO WE NEED THIS
STUFF INSIDE THE HOUSE FOR?
OKAY. OKAY.
1624
00:57:13,363 --> 00:57:14,908
STUFF INSIDE THE HOUSE FOR?
OKAY. OKAY.
THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION.
1625
00:57:14,932 --> 00:57:16,209
OKAY. OKAY.
THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION.
I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION
1626
00:57:16,233 --> 00:57:17,343
THAT'S A VERY GOOD QUESTION.
I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION
NOW.
1627
00:57:17,367 --> 00:57:18,879
I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION
NOW.
IN THE EVENT OF A RADIOACTIVE
1628
00:57:18,903 --> 00:57:20,447
NOW.
IN THE EVENT OF A RADIOACTIVE
FIRESTORM, HOW SECURE ARE YOUR
1629
00:57:20,471 --> 00:57:21,147
IN THE EVENT OF A RADIOACTIVE
FIRESTORM, HOW SECURE ARE YOUR
FOODSTUFFS?
1630
00:57:21,171 --> 00:57:23,750
FIRESTORM, HOW SECURE ARE YOUR
FOODSTUFFS?
OH, WE HAVE A FRIDGE.
1631
00:57:23,774 --> 00:57:25,419
FOODSTUFFS?
OH, WE HAVE A FRIDGE.
OKAY. I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO
1632
00:57:25,443 --> 00:57:26,553
OH, WE HAVE A FRIDGE.
OKAY. I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO
HELP ME IN A SMALL
1633
00:57:26,577 --> 00:57:28,021
OKAY. I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO
HELP ME IN A SMALL
DEMONSTRATION OF SECURITY
1634
00:57:28,045 --> 00:57:28,722
HELP ME IN A SMALL
DEMONSTRATION OF SECURITY
TECHNIQUE.
1635
00:57:28,746 --> 00:57:30,156
DEMONSTRATION OF SECURITY
TECHNIQUE.
IF YOU COULD GO INTO YOUR
1636
00:57:30,180 --> 00:57:31,892
TECHNIQUE.
IF YOU COULD GO INTO YOUR
KITCHEN NOW AND GET ME A TOMATO.
1637
00:57:31,916 --> 00:57:32,692
IF YOU COULD GO INTO YOUR
KITCHEN NOW AND GET ME A TOMATO.
TOMATO?
1638
00:57:32,716 --> 00:57:34,160
KITCHEN NOW AND GET ME A TOMATO.
TOMATO?
YEAH, JUST A COMMON HOUSEHOLD
1639
00:57:34,184 --> 00:57:35,595
TOMATO?
YEAH, JUST A COMMON HOUSEHOLD
TOMATO... GREEN, RED... I DON'T
1640
00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:37,397
YEAH, JUST A COMMON HOUSEHOLD
TOMATO... GREEN, RED... I DON'T
CARE... RIPE, UNRIPE...
1641
00:57:37,421 --> 00:57:39,800
TOMATO... GREEN, RED... I DON'T
CARE... RIPE, UNRIPE...
OKAY.
1642
00:57:39,824 --> 00:57:41,601
CARE... RIPE, UNRIPE...
OKAY.
AAH! AAH! AAH!
1643
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:42,836
OKAY.
AAH! AAH! AAH!
SEE HOW FRIGHTENING THAT WAS,
1644
00:57:42,860 --> 00:57:43,870
AAH! AAH! AAH!
SEE HOW FRIGHTENING THAT WAS,
HOW EFFECTIVE THAT WAS IN
1645
00:57:43,894 --> 00:57:44,471
SEE HOW FRIGHTENING THAT WAS,
HOW EFFECTIVE THAT WAS IN
STOPPING YOU?
1646
00:57:44,495 --> 00:57:45,371
HOW EFFECTIVE THAT WAS IN
STOPPING YOU?
RELAX. JUST BLANKS.
1647
00:57:45,395 --> 00:57:46,339
STOPPING YOU?
RELAX. JUST BLANKS.
JUST A DEMONSTRATION.
1648
00:57:46,363 --> 00:57:49,443
RELAX. JUST BLANKS.
JUST A DEMONSTRATION.
SIT DOWN.
1649
00:57:49,467 --> 00:57:50,977
JUST A DEMONSTRATION.
SIT DOWN.
SIT DOWN.
1650
00:57:51,001 --> 00:57:52,946
SIT DOWN.
SIT DOWN.
HERE. HANG ONTO THIS CHUNK.
1651
00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:54,180
SIT DOWN.
HERE. HANG ONTO THIS CHUNK.
FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?
1652
00:57:54,204 --> 00:57:55,348
HERE. HANG ONTO THIS CHUNK.
FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU,
1653
00:57:55,372 --> 00:57:56,082
FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU,
MRS. KROMER.
1654
00:57:56,106 --> 00:57:57,551
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU,
MRS. KROMER.
MY BRIEFCASE, PLEASE, HARVEY.
1655
00:57:57,575 --> 00:57:59,152
MRS. KROMER.
MY BRIEFCASE, PLEASE, HARVEY.
MRS. KROMER, SAY A CRIMINAL
1656
00:57:59,176 --> 00:58:00,821
MY BRIEFCASE, PLEASE, HARVEY.
MRS. KROMER, SAY A CRIMINAL
ENTERED YOUR KITCHEN WITH THE
1657
00:58:00,845 --> 00:58:02,556
MRS. KROMER, SAY A CRIMINAL
ENTERED YOUR KITCHEN WITH THE
INTENT OF PREPARING AN ILLICIT
1658
00:58:02,580 --> 00:58:03,490
ENTERED YOUR KITCHEN WITH THE
INTENT OF PREPARING AN ILLICIT
PIECE OF TOAST.
1659
00:58:03,514 --> 00:58:04,190
INTENT OF PREPARING AN ILLICIT
PIECE OF TOAST.
TOAST?
1660
00:58:04,214 --> 00:58:05,291
PIECE OF TOAST.
TOAST?
TOAST.
1661
00:58:05,315 --> 00:58:07,093
TOAST?
TOAST.
ONLY WE OFFER THE CRISPO-CRUST
1662
00:58:07,117 --> 00:58:08,862
TOAST.
ONLY WE OFFER THE CRISPO-CRUST
SELF-DETONATING FRAGMENTATION
1663
00:58:08,886 --> 00:58:09,896
ONLY WE OFFER THE CRISPO-CRUST
SELF-DETONATING FRAGMENTATION
TOASTER...
1664
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,866
SELF-DETONATING FRAGMENTATION
TOASTER...
OR THIS HANDY .357 MAGNUM
1665
00:58:12,890 --> 00:58:13,700
TOASTER...
OR THIS HANDY .357 MAGNUM
MIXMASTER.
1666
00:58:13,724 --> 00:58:15,201
OR THIS HANDY .357 MAGNUM
MIXMASTER.
COMES IN THE AVOCADO GREEN?
1667
00:58:15,225 --> 00:58:16,503
MIXMASTER.
COMES IN THE AVOCADO GREEN?
YES, AND HARVEST GOLD.
1668
00:58:16,527 --> 00:58:17,170
COMES IN THE AVOCADO GREEN?
YES, AND HARVEST GOLD.
LOVELY.
1669
00:58:17,194 --> 00:58:18,237
YES, AND HARVEST GOLD.
LOVELY.
HERE WE HAVE THE
1670
00:58:18,261 --> 00:58:19,673
LOVELY.
HERE WE HAVE THE
SANDWICH-SENSITIVE HOT-PLATE
1671
00:58:19,697 --> 00:58:20,273
HERE WE HAVE THE
SANDWICH-SENSITIVE HOT-PLATE
LASER.
1672
00:58:20,297 --> 00:58:21,541
SANDWICH-SENSITIVE HOT-PLATE
LASER.
OH, VERY NICE.
1673
00:58:21,565 --> 00:58:22,642
LASER.
OH, VERY NICE.
I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION,
1674
00:58:22,666 --> 00:58:23,209
OH, VERY NICE.
I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION,
MR. KROMER.
1675
00:58:23,233 --> 00:58:24,277
I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION,
MR. KROMER.
I WANT YOU TO ANSWER ME QUITE
1676
00:58:24,301 --> 00:58:25,979
MR. KROMER.
I WANT YOU TO ANSWER ME QUITE
HONESTLY.
1677
00:58:26,003 --> 00:58:27,481
I WANT YOU TO ANSWER ME QUITE
HONESTLY.
WOULD YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO BE
1678
00:58:27,505 --> 00:58:28,915
HONESTLY.
WOULD YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO BE
SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN HER OWN
1679
00:58:28,939 --> 00:58:29,483
WOULD YOU WANT YOUR WIFE TO BE
SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN HER OWN
KITCHEN?
1680
00:58:29,507 --> 00:58:30,717
SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN HER OWN
KITCHEN?
WHY, NO, OF COURSE NOT.
1681
00:58:30,741 --> 00:58:32,085
KITCHEN?
WHY, NO, OF COURSE NOT.
MRS. KROMER, WOULD YOU WANT
1682
00:58:32,109 --> 00:58:33,520
WHY, NO, OF COURSE NOT.
MRS. KROMER, WOULD YOU WANT
TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN YOUR
1683
00:58:33,544 --> 00:58:34,153
MRS. KROMER, WOULD YOU WANT
TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN YOUR
OWN KITCHEN?
1684
00:58:34,177 --> 00:58:35,555
TO BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN YOUR
OWN KITCHEN?
WELL, IT WOULD DEPEND ON WHO
1685
00:58:35,579 --> 00:58:36,189
OWN KITCHEN?
WELL, IT WOULD DEPEND ON WHO
THE PERSON...
1686
00:58:36,213 --> 00:58:39,860
WELL, IT WOULD DEPEND ON WHO
THE PERSON...
UH, LOOK, MR. KROMER, HOW
1687
00:58:39,884 --> 00:58:41,260
THE PERSON...
UH, LOOK, MR. KROMER, HOW
MUCH WOULD YOU PAY TO KEEP YOUR
1688
00:58:41,284 --> 00:58:42,128
UH, LOOK, MR. KROMER, HOW
MUCH WOULD YOU PAY TO KEEP YOUR
FAMILY SAFE?
1689
00:58:42,152 --> 00:58:43,964
MUCH WOULD YOU PAY TO KEEP YOUR
FAMILY SAFE?
WOULD YOU PAY, SAY, $2 MILLION
1690
00:58:43,988 --> 00:58:44,998
FAMILY SAFE?
WOULD YOU PAY, SAY, $2 MILLION
IF YOU HAD IT?
1691
00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:45,966
WOULD YOU PAY, SAY, $2 MILLION
IF YOU HAD IT?
WELL, YEAH.
1692
00:58:45,990 --> 00:58:47,166
IF YOU HAD IT?
WELL, YEAH.
IF I HAD IT, YEAH.
1693
00:58:47,190 --> 00:58:48,635
WELL, YEAH.
IF I HAD IT, YEAH.
OR $1 MILLION IF YOU HAD IT?
1694
00:58:48,659 --> 00:58:49,970
IF I HAD IT, YEAH.
OR $1 MILLION IF YOU HAD IT?
SURE. IF I HAD A MILLION,
1695
00:58:49,994 --> 00:58:50,637
OR $1 MILLION IF YOU HAD IT?
SURE. IF I HAD A MILLION,
YEAH, SURE.
1696
00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:52,038
SURE. IF I HAD A MILLION,
YEAH, SURE.
HAVE YOU GOT $499.99?
1697
00:58:52,062 --> 00:58:53,306
YEAH, SURE.
HAVE YOU GOT $499.99?
HONEY, WE WERE SAVING THAT
1698
00:58:53,330 --> 00:58:53,840
HAVE YOU GOT $499.99?
HONEY, WE WERE SAVING THAT
MONEY.
1699
00:58:53,864 --> 00:58:54,508
HONEY, WE WERE SAVING THAT
MONEY.
WE WERE?
1700
00:58:54,532 --> 00:58:55,876
MONEY.
WE WERE?
I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW HOW
1701
00:58:55,900 --> 00:58:57,243
WE WERE?
I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW HOW
UNSAFE YOUR FAMILY REALLY IS.
1702
00:58:57,267 --> 00:58:58,845
I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW HOW
UNSAFE YOUR FAMILY REALLY IS.
FOR INSTANCE, WHERE'S YOUR
1703
00:58:58,869 --> 00:58:59,613
UNSAFE YOUR FAMILY REALLY IS.
FOR INSTANCE, WHERE'S YOUR
SON, UH...
1704
00:58:59,637 --> 00:59:00,380
FOR INSTANCE, WHERE'S YOUR
SON, UH...
RONNIE.
1705
00:59:00,404 --> 00:59:01,815
SON, UH...
RONNIE.
RONNIE RIGHT NOW?
1706
00:59:01,839 --> 00:59:03,182
RONNIE.
RONNIE RIGHT NOW?
WELL, HE'S OUTSIDE, PLAYING
1707
00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:04,417
RONNIE RIGHT NOW?
WELL, HE'S OUTSIDE, PLAYING
IN THE YARD.
1708
00:59:04,441 --> 00:59:05,084
WELL, HE'S OUTSIDE, PLAYING
IN THE YARD.
HELLO.
1709
00:59:05,108 --> 00:59:06,152
IN THE YARD.
HELLO.
FRANK, PUT THE KID ON, WILL YOU?
1710
00:59:06,176 --> 00:59:06,820
HELLO.
FRANK, PUT THE KID ON, WILL YOU?
WE'LL TAKE IT!
1711
00:59:06,844 --> 00:59:07,420
FRANK, PUT THE KID ON, WILL YOU?
WE'LL TAKE IT!
WE'LL TAKE IT!
1712
00:59:07,444 --> 00:59:08,722
WE'LL TAKE IT!
WE'LL TAKE IT!
OKAY, LET THE KID GO.
1713
00:59:08,746 --> 00:59:09,723
WE'LL TAKE IT!
OKAY, LET THE KID GO.
I'M GLAD YOU DECIDED TO.
1714
00:59:09,747 --> 00:59:10,891
OKAY, LET THE KID GO.
I'M GLAD YOU DECIDED TO.
YOU'RE GONNA SIGN RIGHT HERE.
1715
00:59:10,915 --> 00:59:12,592
I'M GLAD YOU DECIDED TO.
YOU'RE GONNA SIGN RIGHT HERE.
WE HAVE THE CONTRACTS DRAWN UP.
1716
00:59:12,616 --> 00:59:14,160
YOU'RE GONNA SIGN RIGHT HERE.
WE HAVE THE CONTRACTS DRAWN UP.
AS A BONUS TO YOU HERE, WE HAVE
1717
00:59:14,184 --> 00:59:15,662
WE HAVE THE CONTRACTS DRAWN UP.
AS A BONUS TO YOU HERE, WE HAVE
THE...
1718
00:59:15,686 --> 00:59:18,006
AS A BONUS TO YOU HERE, WE HAVE
THE...
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1719
00:59:22,859 --> 00:59:29,709
IN THE DAWN OF CIVILIZATION,
LONG BEFORE THE BRONZE AGE, MAN
FIRST BEGAN HIS SEARCH FOR THE
1720
00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:33,580
LONG BEFORE THE BRONZE AGE, MAN
FIRST BEGAN HIS SEARCH FOR THE
CLOSE SHAVE.
1721
00:59:33,604 --> 00:59:36,182
FIRST BEGAN HIS SEARCH FOR THE
CLOSE SHAVE.
[DOINK!]
1722
00:59:36,206 --> 00:59:37,717
CLOSE SHAVE.
[DOINK!]
SINCE THEN, MAN HAS BEEN
1723
00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:39,586
[DOINK!]
SINCE THEN, MAN HAS BEEN
ARDENTLY STRIVING TO DESIGN THE
1724
00:59:39,610 --> 00:59:41,487
SINCE THEN, MAN HAS BEEN
ARDENTLY STRIVING TO DESIGN THE
PERFECT SHAVING INSTRUMENT, FROM
1725
00:59:41,511 --> 00:59:43,590
ARDENTLY STRIVING TO DESIGN THE
PERFECT SHAVING INSTRUMENT, FROM
THE STRAIGHT RAZOR TO THE SAFETY
1726
00:59:43,614 --> 00:59:45,491
PERFECT SHAVING INSTRUMENT, FROM
THE STRAIGHT RAZOR TO THE SAFETY
RAZOR TO THE INJECTOR SYSTEM,
1727
00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:47,126
THE STRAIGHT RAZOR TO THE SAFETY
RAZOR TO THE INJECTOR SYSTEM,
AND, FINALLY, THE HIGHLY
1728
00:59:47,150 --> 00:59:49,629
RAZOR TO THE INJECTOR SYSTEM,
AND, FINALLY, THE HIGHLY
ACCLAIMED TWIN-BLADE CARTRIDGE.
1729
00:59:49,653 --> 00:59:52,432
AND, FINALLY, THE HIGHLY
ACCLAIMED TWIN-BLADE CARTRIDGE.
ALMOST PERFECT, YET NOT QUITE
1730
00:59:52,456 --> 00:59:54,701
ACCLAIMED TWIN-BLADE CARTRIDGE.
ALMOST PERFECT, YET NOT QUITE
THE SUPERLATIVE GROOM.
1731
00:59:54,725 --> 00:59:57,938
ALMOST PERFECT, YET NOT QUITE
THE SUPERLATIVE GROOM.
INTRODUCING... THE TRIPLE-TRAC.
1732
00:59:57,962 --> 00:59:58,772
THE SUPERLATIVE GROOM.
INTRODUCING... THE TRIPLE-TRAC.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
1733
00:59:58,796 --> 01:00:00,440
INTRODUCING... THE TRIPLE-TRAC.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
NOT JUST TWO BLADES IN ONE
1734
01:00:00,464 --> 01:00:01,641
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
NOT JUST TWO BLADES IN ONE
SYSTEM, BUT THREE
1735
01:00:01,665 --> 01:00:02,909
NOT JUST TWO BLADES IN ONE
SYSTEM, BUT THREE
STAINLESS-PLATINUM,
1736
01:00:02,933 --> 01:00:04,644
SYSTEM, BUT THREE
STAINLESS-PLATINUM,
TEFLEX-COATED BLADES MELDED
1737
01:00:04,668 --> 01:00:06,580
STAINLESS-PLATINUM,
TEFLEX-COATED BLADES MELDED
TOGETHER TO FORM ONE INCREDIBLE
1738
01:00:06,604 --> 01:00:08,582
TEFLEX-COATED BLADES MELDED
TOGETHER TO FORM ONE INCREDIBLE
SHAVING CARTRIDGE, EASILY FITTED
1739
01:00:08,606 --> 01:00:10,817
TOGETHER TO FORM ONE INCREDIBLE
SHAVING CARTRIDGE, EASILY FITTED
INTO YOUR OLD TWIN-BLADE HOLDER.
1740
01:00:10,841 --> 01:00:12,485
SHAVING CARTRIDGE, EASILY FITTED
INTO YOUR OLD TWIN-BLADE HOLDER.
TRIPLE-TRAC'S TRIPLE-THREAT
1741
01:00:12,509 --> 01:00:14,120
INTO YOUR OLD TWIN-BLADE HOLDER.
TRIPLE-TRAC'S TRIPLE-THREAT
CARTRIDGE, WITH MORE CLOSE
1742
01:00:14,144 --> 01:00:16,389
TRIPLE-TRAC'S TRIPLE-THREAT
CARTRIDGE, WITH MORE CLOSE
SHAVES THAN EVER BEFORE.
1743
01:00:16,413 --> 01:00:18,357
CARTRIDGE, WITH MORE CLOSE
SHAVES THAN EVER BEFORE.
HERE'S HOW IT WORKS... THE FIRST
1744
01:00:18,381 --> 01:00:19,926
SHAVES THAN EVER BEFORE.
HERE'S HOW IT WORKS... THE FIRST
BLADE GRABS AT THE WHISKER,
1745
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:21,661
HERE'S HOW IT WORKS... THE FIRST
BLADE GRABS AT THE WHISKER,
TUGGING IT AWAY FROM YOUR FACE
1746
01:00:21,685 --> 01:00:23,262
BLADE GRABS AT THE WHISKER,
TUGGING IT AWAY FROM YOUR FACE
TO PROTECT IT FROM THE SECOND
1747
01:00:23,286 --> 01:00:23,797
TUGGING IT AWAY FROM YOUR FACE
TO PROTECT IT FROM THE SECOND
BLADE.
1748
01:00:23,821 --> 01:00:25,865
TO PROTECT IT FROM THE SECOND
BLADE.
BLADE NUMBER TWO CATCHES AND
1749
01:00:25,889 --> 01:00:27,567
BLADE.
BLADE NUMBER TWO CATCHES AND
DIGS INTO THE STUBBLE BEFORE IT
1750
01:00:27,591 --> 01:00:29,235
BLADE NUMBER TWO CATCHES AND
DIGS INTO THE STUBBLE BEFORE IT
HAS THE CHANCE TO SNAP BACK AND
1751
01:00:29,259 --> 01:00:30,837
DIGS INTO THE STUBBLE BEFORE IT
HAS THE CHANCE TO SNAP BACK AND
INJURE YOU, PULLING IT FARTHER
1752
01:00:30,861 --> 01:00:32,472
HAS THE CHANCE TO SNAP BACK AND
INJURE YOU, PULLING IT FARTHER
OUT SO THAT IT IS NOW READY FOR
1753
01:00:32,496 --> 01:00:33,339
INJURE YOU, PULLING IT FARTHER
OUT SO THAT IT IS NOW READY FOR
SHEARING.
1754
01:00:33,363 --> 01:00:35,274
OUT SO THAT IT IS NOW READY FOR
SHEARING.
TRIPLE-TRAC'S THIRD BLADE, A
1755
01:00:35,298 --> 01:00:37,210
SHEARING.
TRIPLE-TRAC'S THIRD BLADE, A
FINELY HONED BONDED-PLATINUM
1756
01:00:37,234 --> 01:00:38,912
TRIPLE-TRAC'S THIRD BLADE, A
FINELY HONED BONDED-PLATINUM
INSTRUMENT, CUTS CLEANLY THROUGH
1757
01:00:38,936 --> 01:00:40,614
FINELY HONED BONDED-PLATINUM
INSTRUMENT, CUTS CLEANLY THROUGH
THE WHISKER AT ITS BASE, LEAVING
1758
01:00:40,638 --> 01:00:41,948
INSTRUMENT, CUTS CLEANLY THROUGH
THE WHISKER AT ITS BASE, LEAVING
YOUR FACE AS SMOOTH AS A
1759
01:00:41,972 --> 01:00:44,117
THE WHISKER AT ITS BASE, LEAVING
YOUR FACE AS SMOOTH AS A
BILLIARD BALL.
1760
01:00:44,141 --> 01:00:47,020
YOUR FACE AS SMOOTH AS A
BILLIARD BALL.
THE TRIPLE-TRAC... BECAUSE
1761
01:00:47,044 --> 01:00:49,022
BILLIARD BALL.
THE TRIPLE-TRAC... BECAUSE
YOU'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING.
1762
01:00:49,046 --> 01:00:52,158
THE TRIPLE-TRAC... BECAUSE
YOU'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
1763
01:00:52,182 --> 01:00:55,795
YOU'LL BELIEVE ANYTHING.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH.
1764
01:00:55,819 --> 01:00:57,063
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I
1765
01:00:57,087 --> 01:00:58,397
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I
SURE COULD LISTEN TO JANIS IAN
1766
01:00:58,421 --> 01:00:59,933
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I
SURE COULD LISTEN TO JANIS IAN
ONE MORE TIME, HUH?
1767
01:00:59,957 --> 01:01:04,537
SURE COULD LISTEN TO JANIS IAN
ONE MORE TIME, HUH?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1768
01:01:04,561 --> 01:01:05,939
ONE MORE TIME, HUH?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[JANIS IAN'S "IN THE WINTER"
1769
01:01:05,963 --> 01:01:07,440
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[JANIS IAN'S "IN THE WINTER"
PLAYS]
1770
01:01:07,464 --> 01:01:11,344
[JANIS IAN'S "IN THE WINTER"
PLAYS]
♪ THE DAYS ARE OKAY ♪
1771
01:01:11,368 --> 01:01:14,047
[PLAYS]
♪ THE DAYS ARE OKAY ♪
♪ I WATCH THE TV IN THE
1772
01:01:14,071 --> 01:01:18,051
♪ THE DAYS ARE OKAY ♪
♪ I WATCH THE TV IN THE
AFTERNOONS ♪
1773
01:01:18,075 --> 01:01:21,755
♪ I WATCH THE TV IN THE
AFTERNOONS ♪
♪ IF I GET LONELY,
1774
01:01:21,779 --> 01:01:25,659
AFTERNOONS ♪
♪ IF I GET LONELY,
THE SOUND OF OTHER VOICES, OTHER
1775
01:01:25,683 --> 01:01:29,362
♪ IF I GET LONELY,
THE SOUND OF OTHER VOICES, OTHER
ROOMS, ARE NEAR TO ME ♪
1776
01:01:29,386 --> 01:01:33,266
THE SOUND OF OTHER VOICES, OTHER
ROOMS, ARE NEAR TO ME ♪
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪
1777
01:01:33,290 --> 01:01:36,269
ROOMS, ARE NEAR TO ME ♪
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪
♪ THE OPERATOR ♪
1778
01:01:36,293 --> 01:01:38,104
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪
♪ THE OPERATOR ♪
♪ SHE TELLS THE TIME ♪
1779
01:01:38,128 --> 01:01:43,843
♪ THE OPERATOR ♪
♪ SHE TELLS THE TIME ♪
♪ IT'S GOOD FOR A LAUGH ♪
1780
01:01:43,867 --> 01:01:47,180
♪ SHE TELLS THE TIME ♪
♪ IT'S GOOD FOR A LAUGH ♪
♪ THERE'S ALWAYS RADIO ♪
1781
01:01:47,204 --> 01:01:50,984
♪ IT'S GOOD FOR A LAUGH ♪
♪ THERE'S ALWAYS RADIO ♪
♪ AND FOR A DIME, I CAN TALK TO
1782
01:01:51,008 --> 01:01:52,251
♪ THERE'S ALWAYS RADIO ♪
♪ AND FOR A DIME, I CAN TALK TO
GOD ♪
1783
01:01:52,275 --> 01:01:54,154
♪ AND FOR A DIME, I CAN TALK TO
GOD ♪
♪ DIAL-A-PRAYER ♪
1784
01:01:54,178 --> 01:01:55,789
GOD ♪
♪ DIAL-A-PRAYER ♪
♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪
1785
01:01:55,813 --> 01:01:57,691
♪ DIAL-A-PRAYER ♪
♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪
♪ DO YOU CARE? ♪
1786
01:01:57,715 --> 01:02:01,761
♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪
♪ DO YOU CARE? ♪
♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪
1787
01:02:01,785 --> 01:02:04,397
♪ DO YOU CARE? ♪
♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪
♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA
1788
01:02:04,421 --> 01:02:07,233
♪ ARE YOU THERE? ♪
♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA
BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪
1789
01:02:07,257 --> 01:02:10,804
♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA
BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪
♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪
1790
01:02:10,828 --> 01:02:13,807
BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪
♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪
♪ I AM WISER NOW, YOU KNOW,
1791
01:02:13,831 --> 01:02:16,009
♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪
♪ I AM WISER NOW, YOU KNOW,
AND STILL AS BIG A FOOL
1792
01:02:16,033 --> 01:02:18,878
♪ I AM WISER NOW, YOU KNOW,
AND STILL AS BIG A FOOL
CONCERNING YOU ♪
1793
01:02:18,902 --> 01:02:22,749
AND STILL AS BIG A FOOL
CONCERNING YOU ♪
♪ I MET YOUR FRIEND ♪
1794
01:02:22,773 --> 01:02:24,050
CONCERNING YOU ♪
♪ I MET YOUR FRIEND ♪
♪ SHE'S VERY NICE ♪
1795
01:02:24,074 --> 01:02:26,908
♪ I MET YOUR FRIEND ♪
♪ SHE'S VERY NICE ♪
♪ WHAT CAN I SAY? ♪
1796
01:02:29,979 --> 01:02:37,764
♪ IT WAS AN ACCIDENT ♪
♪ I NEVER DREAMED WE'D MEET
AGAIN THIS WAY ♪
1797
01:02:37,788 --> 01:02:41,101
♪ I NEVER DREAMED WE'D MEET
AGAIN THIS WAY ♪
♪ YOU'RE LOOKING WELL ♪
1798
01:02:41,125 --> 01:02:45,004
AGAIN THIS WAY ♪
♪ YOU'RE LOOKING WELL ♪
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪
1799
01:02:45,028 --> 01:02:48,641
♪ YOU'RE LOOKING WELL ♪
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪
♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME,
1800
01:02:48,665 --> 01:02:50,777
♪ I'M NOT AFRAID ♪
♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME,
JUST LIKE A PICTURE ♪
1801
01:02:50,801 --> 01:02:55,882
♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME,
JUST LIKE A PICTURE ♪
♪ NO, I LIVE ALONE ♪
1802
01:02:55,906 --> 01:02:59,585
JUST LIKE A PICTURE ♪
♪ NO, I LIVE ALONE ♪
♪ I FOUND IT EASIER ♪
1803
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:03,089
♪ NO, I LIVE ALONE ♪
♪ I FOUND IT EASIER ♪
♪ YOU MUST REMEMBER HOW I NEVER
1804
01:03:03,113 --> 01:03:05,925
♪ I FOUND IT EASIER ♪
♪ YOU MUST REMEMBER HOW I NEVER
LIKED THE PARTY LIFE ♪
1805
01:03:05,949 --> 01:03:07,761
♪ YOU MUST REMEMBER HOW I NEVER
LIKED THE PARTY LIFE ♪
♪ UP ALL NIGHT ♪
1806
01:03:07,785 --> 01:03:09,495
LIKED THE PARTY LIFE ♪
♪ UP ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ LOVELY WIFE ♪
1807
01:03:09,519 --> 01:03:13,833
♪ UP ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ LOVELY WIFE ♪
♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY WIFE ♪
1808
01:03:13,857 --> 01:03:16,636
♪ LOVELY WIFE ♪
♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY WIFE ♪
♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA
1809
01:03:16,660 --> 01:03:19,739
♪ YOU HAVE A LOVELY WIFE ♪
♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA
BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪
1810
01:03:19,763 --> 01:03:23,076
♪ AND IN THE WINTER, EXTRA
BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪
♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪
1811
01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:25,945
BLANKETS FOR THE COLD ♪
♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪
♪ YOU ARE WITH HER NOW, I KNOW ♪
1812
01:03:25,969 --> 01:03:28,815
♪ FIX THE HEATER, GETTING OLD ♪
♪ YOU ARE WITH HER NOW, I KNOW ♪
♪ I'LL LIVE ALONE FOREVER ♪
1813
01:03:28,839 --> 01:03:33,653
♪ YOU ARE WITH HER NOW, I KNOW ♪
♪ I'LL LIVE ALONE FOREVER ♪
♪ NOT TOGETHER NOW ♪
1814
01:03:33,677 --> 01:03:38,624
♪ I'LL LIVE ALONE FOREVER ♪
♪ NOT TOGETHER NOW ♪
♪ OOOH-OOOOOOH ♪
1815
01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:44,664
♪ NOT TOGETHER NOW ♪
♪ OOOH-OOOOOOH ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
1816
01:03:44,688 --> 01:03:46,728
♪ OOOH-OOOOOOH ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
1817
01:04:00,870 --> 01:04:04,951
I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU ALL
FOR HAVING SOME LIVE FUN WITH
US... YOU AT HOME AND EVERYBODY
1818
01:04:04,975 --> 01:04:05,985
FOR HAVING SOME LIVE FUN WITH
US... YOU AT HOME AND EVERYBODY
HERE... AND WANT TO THANK ALL
1819
01:04:06,009 --> 01:04:06,886
US... YOU AT HOME AND EVERYBODY
HERE... AND WANT TO THANK ALL
THE GUESTS, OF COURSE...
1820
01:04:06,910 --> 01:04:08,554
HERE... AND WANT TO THANK ALL
THE GUESTS, OF COURSE...
JANIS IAN, BILLY PRESTON,
1821
01:04:08,578 --> 01:04:10,656
THE GUESTS, OF COURSE...
JANIS IAN, BILLY PRESTON,
ALBERT BROOKS, THE MUPPETS,
1822
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:11,891
JANIS IAN, BILLY PRESTON,
ALBERT BROOKS, THE MUPPETS,
VALRI BROMFIELD,
1823
01:04:11,915 --> 01:04:13,226
ALBERT BROOKS, THE MUPPETS,
VALRI BROMFIELD,
ANDY KAUFMAN, THE
1824
01:04:13,250 --> 01:04:15,228
VALRI BROMFIELD,
ANDY KAUFMAN, THE
NOT-QUITE-READY-FOR-PRIMETIME
1825
01:04:15,252 --> 01:04:16,562
ANDY KAUFMAN, THE
NOT-QUITE-READY-FOR-PRIMETIME
PLAYERS, AND EVERYONE WHO TOOK
1826
01:04:16,586 --> 01:04:17,263
NOT-QUITE-READY-FOR-PRIMETIME
PLAYERS, AND EVERYONE WHO TOOK
PART IN THIS.
1827
01:04:17,287 --> 01:04:18,664
PLAYERS, AND EVERYONE WHO TOOK
PART IN THIS.
AND I WOULD NOT BE SENSIBLE AND
1828
01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:20,033
PART IN THIS.
AND I WOULD NOT BE SENSIBLE AND
SANE IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU I GOT
1829
01:04:20,057 --> 01:04:21,301
AND I WOULD NOT BE SENSIBLE AND
SANE IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU I GOT
A BRAND-NEW ALBUM THIS WEEK.
1830
01:04:21,325 --> 01:04:22,302
SANE IF I DIDN'T TELL YOU I GOT
A BRAND-NEW ALBUM THIS WEEK.
I HOPE YOU'LL SEE IT.
1831
01:04:22,326 --> 01:04:23,769
A BRAND-NEW ALBUM THIS WEEK.
I HOPE YOU'LL SEE IT.
THANK YOU. BYE-BYE.
1832
01:04:23,793 --> 01:04:25,338
I HOPE YOU'LL SEE IT.
THANK YOU. BYE-BYE.
[BAND PLAYS]
1833
01:04:25,362 --> 01:04:27,442
THANK YOU. BYE-BYE.
[BAND PLAYS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
198494
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