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1
00:00:01,820 --> 00:00:02,898
What you up to, Jeff?
2
00:00:02,923 --> 00:00:06,327
I'm using this incredible
new app to help me find love.
3
00:00:06,352 --> 00:00:08,719
Ooh. Not her.
4
00:00:08,721 --> 00:00:11,422
Oof! Definitely not her. So ugly.
5
00:00:11,424 --> 00:00:15,226
Are you rejecting these women
based solely on their looks?
6
00:00:15,228 --> 00:00:18,095
- That is really disgusting.
- No, no.
7
00:00:18,097 --> 00:00:19,213
It's much deeper than that.
8
00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:20,671
It also shows me what kind of music
9
00:00:20,696 --> 00:00:24,197
and TV shows they're into, all right?
10
00:00:24,570 --> 00:00:26,904
Okay, maybe you guys are right.
You know, what am I doing?
11
00:00:26,906 --> 00:00:29,466
I could be closing the door on
a beautiful relationship here.
12
00:00:29,491 --> 00:00:32,459
Here, see this girl?
Not exactly my type.
13
00:00:32,461 --> 00:00:35,795
I'm gonna send her a heart.
14
00:00:35,797 --> 00:00:39,429
Oof! Definitely not him. So ugly!
15
00:00:39,454 --> 00:00:42,402
♪ Three aliens came from the sky ♪
16
00:00:42,404 --> 00:00:44,104
♪ The Galactic Council sent them ♪
17
00:00:44,106 --> 00:00:45,505
♪ And here's the reason why ♪
18
00:00:45,507 --> 00:00:46,806
♪ Their mission is to study ♪
19
00:00:46,808 --> 00:00:49,976
♪ Earth's most average guy ♪
20
00:00:49,978 --> 00:00:51,644
♪ To see if humans are worth saving ♪
21
00:00:51,646 --> 00:00:54,514
♪ Or if everyone has to die ♪
22
00:00:54,516 --> 00:00:56,816
Wait, what?
23
00:00:56,818 --> 00:00:58,551
Man, I don't get it!
24
00:00:58,553 --> 00:01:01,721
Why aren't any of these ladies biting?
25
00:01:01,723 --> 00:01:03,990
I can't just sit back
and watch this anymore.
26
00:01:03,992 --> 00:01:05,658
This man clearly needs help.
27
00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:07,660
Maybe we should let
him use our dating app.
28
00:01:07,662 --> 00:01:09,295
Sorry, guys, I don't
think I have it in me
29
00:01:09,297 --> 00:01:11,064
to fill out any more dating profiles.
30
00:01:11,066 --> 00:01:14,701
If I have to write that I'm
a 420-friendly breast man
31
00:01:14,703 --> 00:01:16,636
one more time, I'm gonna scream.
32
00:01:16,638 --> 00:01:19,072
Jeff, don't worry. This
one does it for you.
33
00:01:19,074 --> 00:01:21,074
Wait, wait, what's happ...
34
00:01:21,076 --> 00:01:24,144
Oh! Whoa!
35
00:01:24,146 --> 00:01:26,212
Okay.
36
00:01:26,214 --> 00:01:28,381
Now let's go find you some soul mates.
37
00:01:35,957 --> 00:01:38,925
I'm telling you, we live
in a surveillance state.
38
00:01:38,927 --> 00:01:40,860
They're watching our every move.
39
00:01:40,862 --> 00:01:43,363
Denise, I'm sorry, I can't have
40
00:01:43,365 --> 00:01:44,898
another one of these lunches with you.
41
00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:46,766
They're exhausting.
42
00:01:49,371 --> 00:01:50,703
Whoa!
43
00:01:50,705 --> 00:01:52,705
I'm compatible with all these babes?
44
00:01:52,707 --> 00:01:55,675
Yeah, right. This is just
everybody that exists.
45
00:01:55,677 --> 00:01:57,043
Now we just got to weed out the ones
46
00:01:57,045 --> 00:01:59,379
you don't connect with emotionally...
47
00:01:59,381 --> 00:02:00,880
- Aw.
- Take out the ones who won't
48
00:02:00,882 --> 00:02:02,949
think your jokes are
funny... That's key.
49
00:02:02,951 --> 00:02:04,784
- What?
- And finally, let's lose
50
00:02:04,786 --> 00:02:07,086
all the ones you won't be
able to satisfy sexually.
51
00:02:07,088 --> 00:02:10,356
Oh, come on! Can't I learn?
52
00:02:10,358 --> 00:02:13,393
Here they are, your lucky love matches.
53
00:02:13,395 --> 00:02:15,028
As soon as I press this button,
54
00:02:15,030 --> 00:02:18,765
you'll be able to experience
true love with Jessica.
55
00:02:18,767 --> 00:02:20,934
True Love? Jessica?
56
00:02:20,936 --> 00:02:22,535
I like the sound of that!
57
00:02:22,537 --> 00:02:26,272
Ah! Oh, my God!
58
00:02:26,297 --> 00:02:28,575
- Oh, what the...
- Darling!
59
00:02:28,577 --> 00:02:31,978
- Do you fancy a cup of tea?
- Oh, she's British!
60
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:36,115
Yes! Uh, I do, I do, me loves.
61
00:02:36,117 --> 00:02:37,850
- Sorry for the delay...
- Oh!
62
00:02:37,852 --> 00:02:40,920
My little crumpet. I
misplaced my dentures.
63
00:02:40,922 --> 00:02:42,555
I haven't the foggiest
where I put them...
64
00:02:42,557 --> 00:02:43,957
- Oh, my God!
- Let's give him 10 years
65
00:02:43,959 --> 00:02:45,825
to really get the full experience.
66
00:02:48,897 --> 00:02:51,798
Ah! Oh, my God! Oh, Jesus, where am I?
67
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,100
What's happening? What year is it? Ah!
68
00:02:54,102 --> 00:02:56,269
- Oh, you guys!
- Settle down, buddy.
69
00:02:56,271 --> 00:02:58,671
Jeez, it was just a simulation!
70
00:02:58,673 --> 00:03:00,006
How'd it go in there?
71
00:03:00,008 --> 00:03:01,341
How'd it go?
72
00:03:01,343 --> 00:03:03,142
She was 80 years old, you idiots.
73
00:03:03,144 --> 00:03:04,512
She smelled like vinegar.
74
00:03:04,537 --> 00:03:06,913
We spent half of our
time in doctor's offices.
75
00:03:06,915 --> 00:03:08,481
It was absolute bollocks!
76
00:03:08,483 --> 00:03:10,283
Oh, dear, looks like you didn't
77
00:03:10,285 --> 00:03:11,851
open your heart to her at all!
78
00:03:11,853 --> 00:03:15,455
This machine is programmed
to find true love, Jeff.
79
00:03:15,457 --> 00:03:16,689
It doesn't let superficial
80
00:03:16,691 --> 00:03:18,057
details like age get in the way.
81
00:03:18,059 --> 00:03:19,325
There's no way I'm getting
82
00:03:19,327 --> 00:03:21,094
back in that hellbox
83
00:03:21,096 --> 00:03:23,596
without a little vetting first, okay?
84
00:03:23,598 --> 00:03:25,465
Oh, I think you'll like
this next one, Jeff.
85
00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:29,669
27 years old, Columbian,
and extremely fit.
86
00:03:29,671 --> 00:03:33,506
Oh, okay, a little
caliente Latin flavor, huh?
87
00:03:33,508 --> 00:03:35,541
That sounds great. Now we're talking.
88
00:03:35,543 --> 00:03:37,944
Let's do this!
89
00:03:39,547 --> 00:03:41,412
Oh, God. Oh!
90
00:03:41,437 --> 00:03:43,516
Hola, mi amor.
91
00:03:43,518 --> 00:03:45,318
Hello, sir.
92
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,153
So? How'd it go, buddy?
93
00:03:47,155 --> 00:03:49,989
Was he as hot in real life
as he looked in the pictures?
94
00:03:49,991 --> 00:03:52,292
We're, uh, obviously
95
00:03:52,294 --> 00:03:54,027
not communicating clearly here.
96
00:03:54,029 --> 00:03:56,562
Yes, as far as men go,
97
00:03:56,564 --> 00:04:00,199
Federico was objectively
extremely handsome,
98
00:04:00,201 --> 00:04:02,669
but there's one problem... Let me guess,
99
00:04:02,671 --> 00:04:05,071
you kept your heart closed again.
100
00:04:05,073 --> 00:04:07,707
Yeah! Because I'm not gay!
101
00:04:07,709 --> 00:04:09,575
Okay? And by the way,
102
00:04:09,577 --> 00:04:10,977
I don't need 10 years with everybody
103
00:04:10,979 --> 00:04:12,645
to see if we match, okay?
104
00:04:12,647 --> 00:04:14,380
Half hour, that's it.
105
00:04:14,382 --> 00:04:17,550
Who's the next one? What's her name?
106
00:04:17,552 --> 00:04:20,486
And what does she look like?
107
00:04:20,488 --> 00:04:23,423
Oh, my God! Mr. Particular!
108
00:04:23,425 --> 00:04:26,693
I mean, this next one's
a superstar actress.
109
00:04:26,695 --> 00:04:28,828
Is that a dealbreaker for you too?
110
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:30,163
- Huh?
- Her name is
111
00:04:30,165 --> 00:04:32,699
Scarlett Johansson.
112
00:04:32,701 --> 00:04:34,734
What? Scarlett Johansson!
113
00:04:34,736 --> 00:04:37,170
- You know her?
- What, are you crazy?
114
00:04:37,172 --> 00:04:39,205
Everyone knows her! Are you serious?
115
00:04:39,207 --> 00:04:41,341
Scarlett Johansson and I are a match?
116
00:04:41,343 --> 00:04:43,376
That's amazing! Yeah, it says right here
117
00:04:43,378 --> 00:04:45,578
you perfectly complement
each other's hearts and souls.
118
00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:49,082
You know, it's funny, I... I
always felt like we'd get along.
119
00:04:49,084 --> 00:04:51,184
Oh, God, why are we wasting time?
120
00:04:51,186 --> 00:04:54,120
Get me in there!
121
00:04:58,426 --> 00:05:02,362
Look at me, I'm the
wizard of bubble land!
122
00:05:03,365 --> 00:05:05,598
That's too funny! Stop!
123
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,433
Oh, baby.
124
00:05:07,435 --> 00:05:09,435
Don't you need to start
getting ready for the Oscars?
125
00:05:09,437 --> 00:05:12,372
Pfft! Who cares about some dumb award
126
00:05:12,374 --> 00:05:15,742
when I already have the
world's greatest trophy.
127
00:05:15,744 --> 00:05:18,044
- You.
- Aww.
128
00:05:18,046 --> 00:05:21,114
Now, close your eyes, baby.
129
00:05:21,116 --> 00:05:22,382
Oh, Scarlett.
130
00:05:22,384 --> 00:05:24,617
Oh, Scarlett. Oh, Scarlett.
131
00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:25,918
Oh, Scar...
132
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,587
Ah! Come on!
133
00:05:27,589 --> 00:05:29,555
How could you just
pull me out like that?
134
00:05:29,557 --> 00:05:31,758
You gave me 10 years with Federico!
135
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,260
First you want it shorter,
then you want it longer.
136
00:05:34,262 --> 00:05:35,728
I mean, make up your mind!
137
00:05:35,730 --> 00:05:37,430
You know what? It doesn't matter, okay?
138
00:05:37,432 --> 00:05:39,065
I... I got to go find Scarlett,
139
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:41,601
and make her a part of my life for real.
140
00:05:41,603 --> 00:05:43,236
- Scarlett!
- Scarlett! Over here!
141
00:05:43,238 --> 00:05:44,570
- Over here!
- Scarlett! Scarlett!
142
00:05:44,572 --> 00:05:45,938
Scarlett, we're meant to be together!
143
00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:47,740
We're perfect matches!
144
00:05:47,742 --> 00:05:49,609
We perfectly complement each
others' hearts and souls!
145
00:05:49,611 --> 00:05:51,744
No, Scarlett! I'm the
man of your dreams!
146
00:05:51,746 --> 00:05:53,846
Look! I made a mask of your face!
147
00:05:53,848 --> 00:05:56,282
Um...
148
00:05:56,284 --> 00:05:58,651
She got a restraining order against me!
149
00:05:58,653 --> 00:06:01,621
I thought the machine said
we were perfect matches,
150
00:06:01,623 --> 00:06:03,756
and I definitely opened my heart, okay?
151
00:06:03,758 --> 00:06:05,291
So that's not the problem.
152
00:06:05,293 --> 00:06:07,026
Yeah, but come on, Jeff,
if you blow it that hard,
153
00:06:07,028 --> 00:06:08,795
you can destroy any kind of love.
154
00:06:08,797 --> 00:06:12,799
Oh, update... looks like you and
Scarlett are no longer matches.
155
00:06:12,801 --> 00:06:15,034
- Sorry, buddy.
- Damn it, damn it, damn it!
156
00:06:15,036 --> 00:06:16,702
You've only got one match left
157
00:06:16,704 --> 00:06:17,970
in the entire world.
158
00:06:17,972 --> 00:06:19,669
You better not goof it up, buddy.
159
00:06:19,694 --> 00:06:20,778
Jesus.
160
00:06:20,803 --> 00:06:22,069
Why is it always so, like,
161
00:06:22,277 --> 00:06:25,688
last chance-y around here?
162
00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:28,625
Oh, holy [bleep].
163
00:06:28,650 --> 00:06:30,251
- Oh,.
- [bleep] Oh, yeah.
164
00:06:30,283 --> 00:06:31,283
Oh, yeah.
165
00:06:32,387 --> 00:06:34,053
Here, hit this.
166
00:06:34,055 --> 00:06:36,022
- Oh, yeah.
- Now hit this!
167
00:06:36,024 --> 00:06:39,058
Oh! I love our Sundays!
168
00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:40,326
I [bleep] love you!
169
00:06:40,328 --> 00:06:42,161
I [bleep] love you!
170
00:06:42,163 --> 00:06:43,696
Uh! Ahh!
171
00:06:43,698 --> 00:06:44,935
Oh, my God.
172
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,499
That was amazing!
173
00:06:46,501 --> 00:06:47,934
She's perfect.
174
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:06,486
Hey, honey.
175
00:07:06,488 --> 00:07:08,054
I just stopped by to tell you
176
00:07:08,056 --> 00:07:09,722
you're the most wonderful
thing in my life.
177
00:07:09,724 --> 00:07:12,225
- You know that?
- Oh, thanks, Stu.
178
00:07:12,227 --> 00:07:13,153
Mwah.
179
00:07:13,178 --> 00:07:16,062
She has a [bleep] boyfriend!
180
00:07:16,064 --> 00:07:18,231
So? What's the problem here, Jeff?
181
00:07:18,233 --> 00:07:19,565
I don't understand.
182
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:21,567
You get hung up on the weirdest details.
183
00:07:21,569 --> 00:07:23,328
No wonder you can't find love.
184
00:07:23,353 --> 00:07:24,633
I hate this stupid machine.
185
00:07:24,658 --> 00:07:25,404
Get it out of here. I'm done with it.
186
00:07:25,406 --> 00:07:27,006
No, Jeff, don't touch the machine!
187
00:07:27,008 --> 00:07:27,937
Do not touch the machine!
188
00:07:27,962 --> 00:07:29,281
It's thing but trouble and heartache.
189
00:07:29,306 --> 00:07:31,077
Jeff, you can't just...
Simulation in there!
190
00:07:34,115 --> 00:07:35,882
Who... who are you guys?
191
00:07:35,884 --> 00:07:37,917
What the [bleep] is happening?
192
00:07:37,919 --> 00:07:40,653
- Uh...
- Oh, you stupid idiot.
193
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:49,308
Thanks, Jeff.
194
00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:51,926
These pearl onions are really good.
195
00:07:51,989 --> 00:07:53,447
Oh, I'm so glad you like them.
196
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:54,790
I... I had to drive to, like,
197
00:07:54,792 --> 00:07:57,526
four different specialty
markets to track them down.
198
00:07:57,528 --> 00:07:59,528
You know they keep mini vampires away?
199
00:08:00,664 --> 00:08:01,930
That's garlic, not onions,
200
00:08:01,932 --> 00:08:02,965
you ding-dong.
201
00:08:02,967 --> 00:08:04,032
There you go.
202
00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:05,467
There's that little smile.
203
00:08:05,469 --> 00:08:06,868
Oh, I like it.
204
00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:09,605
I'm sorry, Jeff, it's just hard for me
205
00:08:09,607 --> 00:08:11,940
to wrap my head around all this.
206
00:08:11,942 --> 00:08:15,344
You created me to find love?
207
00:08:15,346 --> 00:08:17,779
Exactly, yes. And... and there's nothing
208
00:08:17,781 --> 00:08:19,014
to worry about, because
209
00:08:19,016 --> 00:08:20,816
I'm gonna take real good care of you.
210
00:08:20,818 --> 00:08:22,517
Ooh, your hot tub's ready.
211
00:08:22,519 --> 00:08:24,553
I'll be right back.
212
00:08:24,555 --> 00:08:26,221
So when you gonna kill her, Jeff?
213
00:08:26,223 --> 00:08:27,756
What? Never.
214
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:29,191
We didn't kill little Scarlett Johansson
215
00:08:29,193 --> 00:08:31,093
or Federico or Jessica.
216
00:08:31,095 --> 00:08:33,028
Sure we did.
217
00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:34,630
Why would you do that?
218
00:08:34,632 --> 00:08:36,031
I mean, once the simulation's over,
219
00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,532
they... they have no use anymore.
220
00:08:37,534 --> 00:08:39,401
Yeah, we're not hoarders.
221
00:08:39,403 --> 00:08:42,004
Well, we're not touching
little Kiki, okay?
222
00:08:42,006 --> 00:08:43,905
She's a sweet little version
of the love of my life,
223
00:08:43,907 --> 00:08:45,641
and she deserves respect.
224
00:08:45,643 --> 00:08:48,176
She's not built for this world, Jeff.
225
00:08:48,178 --> 00:08:50,545
And there's no telling what she'll do
226
00:08:50,547 --> 00:08:53,048
when that reality sinks in.
227
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:55,317
Ooh, scary.
228
00:08:55,319 --> 00:08:57,619
Maybe she'll eat all my chocolate chips
229
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,721
or something, huh?
230
00:08:59,723 --> 00:09:02,090
You morons.
231
00:09:02,092 --> 00:09:04,793
- Mm.
- You want jets with that?
232
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,695
Um, sure.
233
00:09:08,499 --> 00:09:10,098
That's nice.
234
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,967
You know, I've been thinking.
235
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,002
Even if it was just a simulation,
236
00:09:14,004 --> 00:09:17,205
the time we spent
together was so amazing.
237
00:09:17,207 --> 00:09:20,709
I want to do whatever I can to
get you and the big me together,
238
00:09:20,711 --> 00:09:21,877
for real.
239
00:09:21,879 --> 00:09:24,313
That's really sweet,
240
00:09:24,315 --> 00:09:27,082
little Kiki, but the big version of you
241
00:09:27,084 --> 00:09:30,452
is dating some dreamboat stud named Stu.
242
00:09:30,454 --> 00:09:33,622
Ugh, yeah, right. I
was miserable with Stu.
243
00:09:33,624 --> 00:09:34,656
- You were?
- Ew!
244
00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:36,758
He was so clingy and needy.
245
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,026
I kept trying to break up with him,
246
00:09:38,028 --> 00:09:39,828
but I just couldn't shake him.
247
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,931
The big me is suffocating
in that relationship, Jeff.
248
00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:46,768
And the little me is
gonna helpou get her out.
249
00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:50,472
And on that fateful
day in Berlin in 1971,
250
00:09:50,474 --> 00:09:53,575
a synthesizer repairman
named Klaus Schmidt
251
00:09:53,577 --> 00:09:56,478
created a sound that
would forever be known
252
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,947
as kraut rock.
253
00:09:58,949 --> 00:10:02,417
Oh, thank you, Germany!
254
00:10:02,419 --> 00:10:04,786
Oh, so awesome.
255
00:10:04,788 --> 00:10:06,054
Ahh!
256
00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:08,790
Nice.
257
00:10:08,792 --> 00:10:09,758
And we're sure we feel
258
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,360
morally okay with this?
259
00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:12,661
Jeff, trust me,
260
00:10:12,663 --> 00:10:14,963
this is in everyone's best interest.
261
00:10:14,965 --> 00:10:17,566
Hey, babe.
262
00:10:17,568 --> 00:10:19,134
I was just about to call you.
263
00:10:19,136 --> 00:10:21,036
They got that almond ccolate
you like at Freshy's and...
264
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:22,904
Stu, what I'm about to say might hurt.
265
00:10:22,906 --> 00:10:24,339
What?
266
00:10:24,341 --> 00:10:25,774
What are you talking
about? What does that...
267
00:10:25,776 --> 00:10:26,942
You know we haven't been connecting
268
00:10:26,944 --> 00:10:28,677
for a long time.
269
00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:30,145
You're not breaking up with me, are you?
270
00:10:30,147 --> 00:10:31,513
You didn't want to have this talk
271
00:10:31,515 --> 00:10:33,448
when we were in New Mexico, Stu,
272
00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:34,951
so we're having it now!
273
00:10:34,976 --> 00:10:36,318
No! No, Kiki, listen.
274
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,320
- Listen...
- It's too late, Stu!
275
00:10:38,322 --> 00:10:39,821
It's over.
276
00:10:39,823 --> 00:10:43,825
Oh, God, this is the
worst day of my life!
277
00:10:43,827 --> 00:10:45,127
This is the worst day...
278
00:10:45,129 --> 00:10:46,862
- Whoo!
- You did it!
279
00:10:46,864 --> 00:10:48,830
No, we did it, Jeff.
280
00:10:48,832 --> 00:10:51,299
We make a great team.
281
00:10:51,301 --> 00:10:53,235
Say hello to the
world's greatest wingman.
282
00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:54,770
What's up!
283
00:10:54,772 --> 00:10:56,738
Hey, Jeff, we're having
a cornhole tournament.
284
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:57,939
You're on Jimmy's team.
285
00:10:57,941 --> 00:10:59,474
- Ow!
- Oh, no!
286
00:10:59,476 --> 00:11:00,976
Sorry, I'm not good at athletics.
287
00:11:00,978 --> 00:11:02,744
Oh, my God, little Kiki, are you okay?
288
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,413
It's just a little nick.
289
00:11:04,415 --> 00:11:05,447
Are you guys insane?
290
00:11:05,449 --> 00:11:07,149
Throwing those sandbags around
291
00:11:07,151 --> 00:11:08,683
when we got a three-inch
person living in this house?
292
00:11:08,685 --> 00:11:09,818
What's wrong with you?
293
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:11,653
Yes.
294
00:11:11,655 --> 00:11:15,824
Yeah, guys, can I talk to you
in the kitchen for a second?
295
00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:18,026
You want us to move to the basement?
296
00:11:18,028 --> 00:11:19,828
Little Kiki says that if
I'm gonna have a real shot
297
00:11:19,830 --> 00:11:21,229
at this relationship,
298
00:11:21,231 --> 00:11:22,864
I need to be a strong, independent man,
299
00:11:22,866 --> 00:11:25,066
and that means no more roommates.
300
00:11:25,068 --> 00:11:27,969
And quite frankly, she's just
been getting kind of a bad vibe
301
00:11:27,971 --> 00:11:29,271
from you guys.
302
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:31,373
You have to kill her right now, okay?
303
00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:33,308
Yeah, see? That might
be the kind of thing
304
00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,509
she's talking about.
305
00:11:34,511 --> 00:11:36,211
But we're your bros.
306
00:11:36,213 --> 00:11:38,480
And you're putting her before us.
307
00:11:38,482 --> 00:11:40,081
It just doesn't seem right.
308
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:42,784
Seems like there should
be a saying for that.
309
00:11:45,422 --> 00:11:47,355
Okay, let's see. We got...
310
00:11:47,357 --> 00:11:48,924
Elephant Flute Lords?
311
00:11:48,926 --> 00:11:50,926
Oh, you've, uh, heard of them?
312
00:11:50,928 --> 00:11:53,395
Heard of them? These guys rock.
313
00:11:53,739 --> 00:11:54,729
Oh, my God.
314
00:11:54,731 --> 00:11:57,332
These are, like, all my
all-time favorite records.
315
00:11:57,334 --> 00:11:59,701
Is that so?
316
00:11:59,703 --> 00:12:01,703
I like your shirt.
317
00:12:01,705 --> 00:12:03,405
Tell you got it at a...
318
00:12:03,407 --> 00:12:07,609
Thanks, I got it at
a Pussy Riot benefit.
319
00:12:07,611 --> 00:12:09,244
I'm Kiki.
320
00:12:09,246 --> 00:12:11,079
Uh, this is a real stab in the dark,
321
00:12:11,081 --> 00:12:14,049
but you don't by any chance
like kraut rock, do you?
322
00:12:17,888 --> 00:12:21,089
Oh, the syncopation is so sick!
323
00:12:21,091 --> 00:12:22,924
What about the synths?
324
00:12:22,926 --> 00:12:24,626
Oh, this is awesome.
325
00:12:24,628 --> 00:12:27,229
The last girl I dated
was into John Mayer.
326
00:12:27,231 --> 00:12:28,697
I wanted to kill her.
327
00:12:28,699 --> 00:12:30,298
The last guy I dated just...
328
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,133
disappeared one day.
329
00:12:32,135 --> 00:12:33,768
It was really weird.
330
00:12:33,770 --> 00:12:36,771
But I got to say, I'm
really glad he did.
331
00:12:36,773 --> 00:12:38,073
Oh, [bleep].
332
00:12:38,075 --> 00:12:39,608
That's your cue!
333
00:12:39,610 --> 00:12:42,611
I never take my glasses
off unless I want it.
334
00:12:42,613 --> 00:12:44,246
No, no, it's too soon.
335
00:12:44,248 --> 00:12:47,949
It sure is a nice night
with all the stars in the sky
336
00:12:47,951 --> 00:12:49,451
and stuff...
337
00:12:49,453 --> 00:12:51,419
Are you hearing this [bleep], Jeff?
338
00:12:51,421 --> 00:12:53,455
I'm clearly just babbling nonsense
339
00:12:53,457 --> 00:12:55,123
waiting for you to make a move.
340
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,892
Don't be a pussy, Jeff. Do it!
341
00:12:58,595 --> 00:12:59,995
Hey, I was just, uh...
342
00:12:59,997 --> 00:13:01,463
Hey, uh...
343
00:13:05,602 --> 00:13:06,668
Mmm.
344
00:13:06,670 --> 00:13:07,969
Pull my hair. Yeah!
345
00:13:07,971 --> 00:13:10,005
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Mmm!
346
00:13:10,007 --> 00:13:11,339
Mmm, mmm.
347
00:13:11,341 --> 00:13:13,575
Too much tongue, Jeff! Too much tongue!
348
00:13:13,577 --> 00:13:15,010
Mmm, mmm.
349
00:13:15,012 --> 00:13:17,178
Okay, now slip your pinky in my butt.
350
00:13:17,180 --> 00:13:18,280
What? What are you talking about?
351
00:13:18,282 --> 00:13:20,148
Just do it. She'll love it.
352
00:13:20,150 --> 00:13:21,750
Everything okay?
353
00:13:21,752 --> 00:13:24,920
Yeah, ev... Everything's fine.
354
00:13:24,922 --> 00:13:27,255
Jeff!
355
00:13:29,192 --> 00:13:30,625
Are you ticklish?
356
00:13:30,627 --> 00:13:32,360
- Here?
- No.
357
00:13:32,362 --> 00:13:33,795
Are you ticklish?
358
00:13:33,797 --> 00:13:35,497
Here?
359
00:13:35,499 --> 00:13:37,364
Jeff, I'm ticklish in my
elbows and my forearms.
360
00:13:37,389 --> 00:13:38,333
What are you doing?
361
00:13:38,335 --> 00:13:39,334
That's the whole point of the game.
362
00:13:39,336 --> 00:13:40,502
I don't want to know.
363
00:13:40,504 --> 00:13:41,703
Don't worry. I got this.
364
00:13:41,705 --> 00:13:42,771
Get out of here. Ugh!
365
00:13:42,773 --> 00:13:44,873
Are you ticklish all here?
366
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,463
♪ Oh, love is in my life ♪
367
00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:55,732
♪ And I'm as happy as I can be ♪
368
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:57,300
Oh. Hey guys.
369
00:13:57,302 --> 00:14:01,671
You forgot to turn
on the heat down here.
370
00:14:01,673 --> 00:14:04,574
Oh. I am so sorry.
371
00:14:04,576 --> 00:14:06,676
Oh... well, uh,
372
00:14:06,678 --> 00:14:08,612
I'm just coming down
to do a load of whites,
373
00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:11,047
so will you do me a favor
and pop these in the dryer...
374
00:14:11,049 --> 00:14:13,049
Jeff, this is crazy, okay? Come on.
375
00:14:13,051 --> 00:14:14,984
Why you hiding us away
like a bunch of lepers?
376
00:14:15,009 --> 00:14:17,640
If this Kiki girl is as
cool as you say she is,
377
00:14:17,665 --> 00:14:20,123
well, then, why don't
you just introduce us?
378
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:21,405
Yeah, we could study her, too.
379
00:14:21,430 --> 00:14:22,892
We could all be friends.
380
00:14:22,894 --> 00:14:24,261
And we could have sleepovers...
381
00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:27,063
Guys, there is no way
382
00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:29,499
I am subjecting anyone
else to the nightmare
383
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:32,269
of being studied by you three, okay?
384
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:33,837
Oh, and this goes without saying,
385
00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:35,939
but the lint tray needs to be cleared
386
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:37,207
before you run the dryer.
387
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:40,076
Thanks.
388
00:14:40,078 --> 00:14:41,344
Do you guys remember if he said
389
00:14:41,346 --> 00:14:42,864
he wanted a delicate cycle, or...
390
00:14:42,889 --> 00:14:44,981
We're not doing his laundry, okay?
391
00:14:49,354 --> 00:14:52,555
Um, Jeff, is this
supposed to be my dinner?
392
00:14:52,557 --> 00:14:54,424
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
393
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:55,692
Um, I couldn't make it
to the specialty store.
394
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:57,193
But speaking of dinner,
395
00:14:57,195 --> 00:14:58,638
I'm not gonna be here tomorrow night.
396
00:14:58,663 --> 00:15:00,930
The big you is gonna cook me
her famous secret casserole.
397
00:15:00,932 --> 00:15:03,065
Oh, my God.
398
00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:04,300
That's great.
399
00:15:07,872 --> 00:15:09,171
What are you texting now?
400
00:15:09,173 --> 00:15:10,539
Huh? Oh, yeah, you know what?
401
00:15:10,541 --> 00:15:12,007
It's too hard to explain.
402
00:15:12,009 --> 00:15:13,442
It's an inside joke that me and Kiki...
403
00:15:13,444 --> 00:15:15,611
Oh, my God!
404
00:15:15,613 --> 00:15:18,747
She is so good at sending gifs!
405
00:15:20,017 --> 00:15:22,818
Hey, I just had a crazy thought.
406
00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:24,326
Oh, yeah?
407
00:15:24,351 --> 00:15:27,356
What if we were the ones dating?
408
00:15:27,358 --> 00:15:29,225
Uh... okay.
409
00:15:29,227 --> 00:15:31,160
Uh, that is crazy.
410
00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:38,934
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, excuse me.
411
00:15:38,936 --> 00:15:41,003
Hey, what do you think
you're doing, young lady?
412
00:15:41,005 --> 00:15:43,405
Come on, Jeff, open your mind.
413
00:15:43,407 --> 00:15:45,541
Little Kiki, come on.
You're my friend, okay?
414
00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:47,776
A really, really good friend
415
00:15:47,778 --> 00:15:49,612
who's the size of a piece of baby corn.
416
00:15:49,614 --> 00:15:52,781
Okay, I get it. Good night, Jeff.
417
00:15:52,783 --> 00:15:54,083
Okay, come on.
418
00:15:54,085 --> 00:15:55,251
Don't be mad. Don't be...
419
00:15:56,721 --> 00:16:00,055
I mean, that is the perfect gif for...
420
00:16:00,057 --> 00:16:01,624
♪ We're gonna eat so much ♪
421
00:16:01,626 --> 00:16:03,159
♪ We'll get so full ♪
422
00:16:03,161 --> 00:16:04,426
♪ With my casserole ♪
423
00:16:04,428 --> 00:16:06,428
♪ My famous casserole ♪
424
00:16:06,430 --> 00:16:09,365
♪ He's gonna be impressed,
then I'll ride that pole ♪
425
00:16:09,367 --> 00:16:13,435
♪ After the casserole,
my famous casserole ♪
426
00:16:13,437 --> 00:16:16,472
♪ Hey, good-lookin' ♪
427
00:16:16,474 --> 00:16:19,108
♪ What's for dinner? ♪
428
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:21,210
You know what, Jeff? I've been thinking.
429
00:16:21,212 --> 00:16:23,546
It's just so petty of me to be jealous
430
00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:25,814
when I should just
be happy for you guys.
431
00:16:25,816 --> 00:16:27,816
I mean, you found love!
432
00:16:27,818 --> 00:16:29,285
That's a big deal!
433
00:16:29,287 --> 00:16:32,821
So how about a toast to your happiness?
434
00:16:32,823 --> 00:16:33,789
Aw, thank you.
435
00:16:33,791 --> 00:16:35,591
That means so much to me.
436
00:16:35,593 --> 00:16:37,459
To me and you.
437
00:16:37,461 --> 00:16:39,929
Well, not you, but,
you know, the other you.
438
00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:41,063
You know what I'm saying.
439
00:16:41,065 --> 00:16:42,706
Oh, God! It's...
440
00:16:42,731 --> 00:16:45,134
Ugh, this wine sucks!
441
00:16:45,136 --> 00:16:48,871
It tastes like chemicals...
442
00:16:50,141 --> 00:16:51,440
Mm. Shh.
443
00:16:51,442 --> 00:16:53,842
Yes, little baby. Shh.
444
00:16:58,115 --> 00:17:00,115
Ugh.
445
00:17:00,117 --> 00:17:01,517
- Kiki?
- Jeff!
446
00:17:01,519 --> 00:17:03,185
I waited for you for hours.
447
00:17:03,187 --> 00:17:04,753
I kept calling you.
448
00:17:04,755 --> 00:17:06,322
I hope you don't mind.
I just came over...
449
00:17:06,324 --> 00:17:07,489
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
450
00:17:07,491 --> 00:17:09,158
I... I have no idea what happened.
451
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,492
I... I think I...
452
00:17:10,494 --> 00:17:12,165
I think I got roofied.
453
00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:13,290
Are you serious?
454
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:15,331
What kind of a maniac would do that?
455
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:17,533
Well, oh, my God, I'm
just glad you're okay.
456
00:17:17,535 --> 00:17:19,068
- Come here.
- Wait.
457
00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:21,704
- How did you find my house?
- Shh, just kiss me.
458
00:17:21,706 --> 00:17:23,038
Mmm.
459
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:26,108
Okay, but, um, just
for future reference,
460
00:17:26,110 --> 00:17:28,711
I'm not a huge fan of
being shushed and...
461
00:17:36,687 --> 00:17:40,189
I can't believe this
is how it's gonna end.
462
00:17:40,191 --> 00:17:41,757
Guy gets his first whiff of [bleep],
463
00:17:41,759 --> 00:17:43,025
and nothing else matters to him.
464
00:17:43,027 --> 00:17:44,059
There's more to life, Jeff!
465
00:17:44,061 --> 00:17:45,160
Come on, guys.
466
00:17:45,162 --> 00:17:47,529
Bye, Jeff?
467
00:17:47,531 --> 00:17:49,431
What? Did you hear that?
468
00:17:49,433 --> 00:17:51,500
Hear what? Why don't you just come here
469
00:17:51,502 --> 00:17:53,235
so we can make love again?
470
00:17:53,237 --> 00:17:55,704
I'm getting a little
worn out here, okay?
471
00:17:55,706 --> 00:17:56,839
I...
472
00:17:58,889 --> 00:18:01,710
- Little Kiki?
- Yeah, so?
473
00:18:01,712 --> 00:18:04,246
The only thing standing
between us was our size,
474
00:18:04,248 --> 00:18:05,614
so I fixed that.
475
00:18:05,616 --> 00:18:08,384
- What? How?
- I'm a gearhead, Jeff.
476
00:18:08,386 --> 00:18:09,685
I'm good with machines.
477
00:18:09,687 --> 00:18:11,387
This one time, I refurbished
478
00:18:11,389 --> 00:18:13,222
a '50s Fender tube amp.
479
00:18:13,224 --> 00:18:14,690
It sounded so sick.
480
00:18:14,692 --> 00:18:15,929
So I'm tiny right now?
481
00:18:15,954 --> 00:18:18,494
Admit it, Jeff. The
happiest you've ever been
482
00:18:18,496 --> 00:18:20,396
was in this love simulation.
483
00:18:20,398 --> 00:18:24,033
Now we can be inside here forever.
484
00:18:24,035 --> 00:18:25,567
You wanna jam?
485
00:18:25,569 --> 00:18:27,536
No! I don't want to jam, you psycho!
486
00:18:27,538 --> 00:18:29,490
I want to go back to reality!
487
00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:31,307
Oh!
488
00:18:31,309 --> 00:18:33,976
Stop, Jeff! We can make this work!
489
00:18:33,978 --> 00:18:35,377
You're just a dating app!
490
00:18:35,379 --> 00:18:36,879
Ow!
491
00:18:38,049 --> 00:18:40,482
- Just open your heart!
- Ugh!
492
00:18:43,187 --> 00:18:44,353
Argh!
493
00:18:47,558 --> 00:18:49,591
Oh...
494
00:18:49,593 --> 00:18:51,627
Little Kiki.
495
00:18:51,629 --> 00:18:53,062
Oh, my God.
496
00:18:53,064 --> 00:18:55,397
I'm so sorry.
497
00:18:55,399 --> 00:18:57,433
Guys!
498
00:19:00,137 --> 00:19:01,904
Leave the roller blades, Jimmy.
499
00:19:01,906 --> 00:19:03,238
You're not gonna use 'em. Come on.
500
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:04,173
Damn it!
501
00:19:06,911 --> 00:19:07,943
Oh...
502
00:19:09,647 --> 00:19:11,113
The cockroaches!
503
00:19:11,115 --> 00:19:13,248
Ride like the wind!
504
00:19:15,353 --> 00:19:17,286
Whoo!
505
00:19:17,288 --> 00:19:18,620
Whoa, whoa, oh no!
506
00:19:18,622 --> 00:19:19,855
No, no, no, no, no, no, you idiot!
507
00:19:19,857 --> 00:19:21,590
Up there! Come on!
508
00:19:21,592 --> 00:19:23,425
To the right, to the right,
to the right, to the right,
509
00:19:23,427 --> 00:19:25,160
to the left, to the left, to the left...
510
00:19:25,162 --> 00:19:26,362
Argh!
511
00:19:26,364 --> 00:19:29,164
No!
512
00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:32,000
Guuuuyyys!
513
00:19:32,002 --> 00:19:33,335
Please, don't go!
514
00:19:33,337 --> 00:19:34,970
Jeff?
515
00:19:34,972 --> 00:19:37,106
I'm so sorry I ever let
anything get in the way
516
00:19:37,108 --> 00:19:38,540
of our friendship.
517
00:19:38,542 --> 00:19:42,211
My life is so much
better with you in it,
518
00:19:42,213 --> 00:19:44,346
and I swear
519
00:19:44,348 --> 00:19:47,683
I'll never put anything
in front of my bros
520
00:19:47,685 --> 00:19:49,385
ever again.
521
00:19:49,387 --> 00:19:50,953
Jeff, I'm sorry.
522
00:19:50,955 --> 00:19:52,988
I couldn't make out
anything you just said.
523
00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:54,623
You got a real teeny,
weeny little voice.
524
00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:56,158
Yeah, can you say that all again?
525
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,260
Whatever. Can you guys
just make me big again?
526
00:20:02,109 --> 00:20:03,843
- Hi.
- Well, well.
527
00:20:03,845 --> 00:20:06,145
If it isn't Jeff the player.
528
00:20:06,147 --> 00:20:08,647
Wow, nobody's ever
called me that before.
529
00:20:08,649 --> 00:20:10,783
I'm so sorry I flaked last night.
530
00:20:10,785 --> 00:20:12,985
I was so excited about
your famous casserole,
531
00:20:12,987 --> 00:20:16,255
and I am super excited about you.
532
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:19,258
Cool. So why didn't you come?
533
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:22,661
Well, the old me would make up some
534
00:20:22,663 --> 00:20:24,296
bullshit excuse right now.
535
00:20:24,298 --> 00:20:26,165
But the truth is, Kiki, I'm...
536
00:20:26,167 --> 00:20:27,833
I'm a very complicated guy
537
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:30,436
with a very complicated life,
538
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:34,440
and secrets that I haven't had
the courage to share with...
539
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,075
- Is that our cue, Jeff?
- Hey, hey, what's up?
540
00:20:36,077 --> 00:20:38,477
No, you idiots, I said
wait until she said okay!
541
00:20:38,479 --> 00:20:39,545
Ahhhh! Jeff, what the [bleep]?
542
00:20:39,547 --> 00:20:40,679
What are those?
543
00:20:40,681 --> 00:20:42,481
Jesus hell!
544
00:20:42,483 --> 00:20:44,650
Oh, my God, oh, my
God. Kiki, are you okay?
545
00:20:44,652 --> 00:20:46,118
You [bleep] idiots!
546
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,454
Jeez, Jeff, I thought
you said she was cool.
547
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,089
She is cool!
548
00:20:50,091 --> 00:20:51,824
Oh, God, all right. All right.
549
00:20:51,826 --> 00:20:53,859
Let's get an ice pack.
550
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,718
We'll figure out a
way to make this work.
551
00:20:55,743 --> 00:20:57,530
Yay!
552
00:20:57,532 --> 00:20:58,464
Cut.
553
00:20:58,484 --> 00:21:02,284
Synced and corrected by
Dragoniod for www.addic7ed.com
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