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1
00:00:02,819 --> 00:00:05,867
Bienvenidos to Taco Temple.
Can I take your order?
2
00:00:05,869 --> 00:00:06,969
Yes, hi.
3
00:00:06,971 --> 00:00:08,537
How you doing?
4
00:00:08,539 --> 00:00:12,141
Uh, I'd like one King Quesadilla,
5
00:00:12,143 --> 00:00:14,277
- some steak tacos...
- Two churros.
6
00:00:14,279 --> 00:00:16,411
Hold on, man, okay? I got this.
7
00:00:16,413 --> 00:00:19,382
A grande rice pudding taco
8
00:00:19,384 --> 00:00:20,882
with the chocolate shell, of course...
9
00:00:20,884 --> 00:00:22,217
- And two churros.
- You know what?
10
00:00:22,219 --> 00:00:23,219
I'll take two churros too.
11
00:00:23,221 --> 00:00:24,420
Shut up, all right?
12
00:00:24,422 --> 00:00:25,788
I do the ordering, okay?
13
00:00:25,790 --> 00:00:27,122
This is the only thing I'm good at.
14
00:00:27,124 --> 00:00:28,423
Don't take this away from me
15
00:00:28,425 --> 00:00:30,058
like you take away everything else.
16
00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:31,761
What the hell are you talking about?
17
00:00:31,763 --> 00:00:33,329
Guys, let's not fight, okay?
18
00:00:33,331 --> 00:00:34,563
I'll tell you what the
hell I'm talking about.
19
00:00:34,565 --> 00:00:35,664
You think humans are stupid.
20
00:00:35,666 --> 00:00:37,066
Well, just 'cause you have
21
00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:38,433
green skin and multiple brains
22
00:00:38,435 --> 00:00:40,804
doesn't make you better than me, okay?
23
00:00:40,806 --> 00:00:42,639
All you ever do is
[bleep] all over my planet.
24
00:00:42,641 --> 00:00:44,407
- Oh, please.
- Huh?
25
00:00:44,409 --> 00:00:46,308
I drove for seven hours to
show you the Grand Canyon,
26
00:00:46,310 --> 00:00:47,844
and you didn't even
pretend to be interested.
27
00:00:47,846 --> 00:00:49,277
Well, it was a crack in the ground, Jeff.
28
00:00:49,279 --> 00:00:50,847
I mean, on our planet, we fix those.
29
00:00:50,849 --> 00:00:53,115
Guys, can we please, please stop fighting?
30
00:00:53,117 --> 00:00:54,683
Wasn't that, like, eight months ago?
31
00:00:54,685 --> 00:00:57,152
How are you still holding on to this stuff?
32
00:00:57,154 --> 00:00:58,420
I'm holding on to it
33
00:00:58,422 --> 00:01:01,124
because I actually have feelings,
34
00:01:01,126 --> 00:01:04,493
not like you guys, a bunch
of cold-blooded Nazis.
35
00:01:04,495 --> 00:01:05,693
- Oh!
- Oh, great.
36
00:01:05,695 --> 00:01:06,795
Here we go again with the Nazi thing.
37
00:01:06,797 --> 00:01:07,797
That's right, here we go.
38
00:01:07,799 --> 00:01:09,264
You can't just compare
39
00:01:09,266 --> 00:01:10,866
everything you don't like to Nazis, Jeff.
40
00:01:10,868 --> 00:01:12,467
- It's lazy!
- Of course you'd say that.
41
00:01:12,469 --> 00:01:15,937
Everything seems lazy to a Nazi!
42
00:01:15,939 --> 00:01:17,306
- Call me Nazi one more time.
- Oh, you see? You see?
43
00:01:17,308 --> 00:01:18,506
- Do it again.
- Stop it! Stop it!
44
00:01:18,508 --> 00:01:21,377
That's enough!
45
00:01:21,379 --> 00:01:23,613
Sir, I'm sorry. I'm having
trouble understanding you.
46
00:01:23,615 --> 00:01:25,381
Did you say you
wanted three burritos?
47
00:01:25,383 --> 00:01:27,550
- No, we want two churros.
- Oh, I'll [bleep] kill you.
48
00:01:29,687 --> 00:01:31,387
Come on!
49
00:01:31,389 --> 00:01:33,990
♪ Three aliens
came from the sky ♪
50
00:01:33,992 --> 00:01:35,657
♪ The Galactic
Council sent them ♪
51
00:01:35,659 --> 00:01:37,158
♪ And here's the reason why ♪
52
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,494
♪ Their mission is to study ♪
53
00:01:38,496 --> 00:01:41,631
♪ Earth's most average guy ♪
54
00:01:41,633 --> 00:01:43,298
♪ To see if humans are worth saving ♪
55
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:46,202
♪ Or if everyone has to die ♪
56
00:01:46,204 --> 00:01:48,106
Wait, what?
57
00:01:49,523 --> 00:01:52,407
And in the end, of course,
the order got screwed up,
58
00:01:52,409 --> 00:01:55,011
and we ended up with 37 churros,
59
00:01:55,013 --> 00:01:58,146
which I had to pay for, as usual.
60
00:01:58,148 --> 00:02:00,982
Oh, that sucks. Who are
these friends of yours?
61
00:02:00,984 --> 00:02:03,351
You know what? I hesitate
to even call them friends.
62
00:02:03,353 --> 00:02:04,921
More like three thankless mooches...
63
00:02:06,190 --> 00:02:07,323
Who do noth... Oh, [bleep].
64
00:02:09,026 --> 00:02:10,593
Hello?
65
00:02:10,595 --> 00:02:12,927
Uh, sorry. I'm at the hospital, sir.
66
00:02:12,929 --> 00:02:15,397
- I think I need a sick day.
- Boop! Boop! Boop!
67
00:02:15,399 --> 00:02:18,000
They think it might be shingles and...
68
00:02:18,002 --> 00:02:19,002
- Clear!
- Huh?
69
00:02:19,004 --> 00:02:20,103
Nurse, get me another scalpel!
70
00:02:20,105 --> 00:02:21,236
I'm not losing another child.
71
00:02:21,238 --> 00:02:22,538
Oh, we don't have a scalpel.
72
00:02:22,540 --> 00:02:23,838
Okay, so I'll see you soon, sir.
73
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:24,841
Bye... bye now.
74
00:02:24,843 --> 00:02:26,242
What the [bleep], man?
75
00:02:26,244 --> 00:02:27,909
I'm sorry. I got caught up in the scenario.
76
00:02:27,911 --> 00:02:29,545
Who asked for you to make noises at all?
77
00:02:29,547 --> 00:02:32,014
I mean, who do you think
are, Michael Winslow?
78
00:02:32,016 --> 00:02:34,217
Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah.
79
00:02:34,219 --> 00:02:36,518
So another thing these guys say
80
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:39,254
is that I snap at people way too easily.
81
00:02:39,256 --> 00:02:40,524
Can you believe that?
82
00:02:42,793 --> 00:02:44,627
Hey, did you guys know
83
00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:47,062
that milk comes from a cow's nipples?
84
00:02:47,064 --> 00:02:48,431
Blah! What?
85
00:02:48,433 --> 00:02:50,133
It's just one unpleasant surprise
86
00:02:50,135 --> 00:02:52,468
after another on this [bleep]-hole planet.
87
00:02:52,470 --> 00:02:55,271
Remember how sweet the
air is back in Azuria?
88
00:02:55,273 --> 00:02:58,207
Every breath is like
a... a mouthful of sugar.
89
00:02:58,209 --> 00:02:59,708
And the women.
90
00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:02,143
Don't even get me started on the women.
91
00:03:02,145 --> 00:03:03,514
They are...
92
00:03:06,383 --> 00:03:08,917
Hello, Jeff.
93
00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:09,855
Hi.
94
00:03:14,257 --> 00:03:17,093
Excuse me, you're in my way.
95
00:03:17,095 --> 00:03:18,893
Well, maybe you're in my way.
96
00:03:18,895 --> 00:03:20,296
Did you ever think about that?
97
00:03:20,298 --> 00:03:22,631
"Well, maybe you're in my way."
98
00:03:22,633 --> 00:03:24,300
- That's not what I sound like!
- "Ever think about that?"
99
00:03:24,302 --> 00:03:25,801
That's not what I sound
like! You shut your mouth!
100
00:03:25,803 --> 00:03:28,003
That is enough! We can't live like this.
101
00:03:28,005 --> 00:03:29,838
Let's face it, guys.
102
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,474
We need therapy.
103
00:03:34,946 --> 00:03:37,178
Many interpersonal problems arise
104
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:39,648
because we're so caught up in ourselves.
105
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:41,917
We lose perspective of the bigger picture.
106
00:03:41,919 --> 00:03:45,621
This machine will help
you see beyond that, Jeff.
107
00:03:45,623 --> 00:03:47,290
Well, why don't you use
it on yourselves, then,
108
00:03:47,292 --> 00:03:48,658
if it's so great, huh?
109
00:03:51,696 --> 00:03:55,296
Oh... wow.
110
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,107
Holy [bleep], that was amazing.
111
00:04:05,109 --> 00:04:06,509
You see?
112
00:04:06,511 --> 00:04:09,344
We're all connected in
the vast web of life.
113
00:04:09,346 --> 00:04:11,313
Now do you understand how important it is
114
00:04:11,315 --> 00:04:13,683
to let go of the petty and
meaningless issues that...
115
00:04:13,685 --> 00:04:14,883
- Hey!
- Huh?
116
00:04:14,885 --> 00:04:16,051
That's my string cheese.
117
00:04:16,053 --> 00:04:17,185
You want some? Get your own!
118
00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:18,553
Jeff, are you serious?
119
00:04:18,555 --> 00:04:20,222
This is, like, the
cheapest [bleep] there is.
120
00:04:20,224 --> 00:04:21,991
That's not the point. It's the principle.
121
00:04:21,993 --> 00:04:24,060
Okay, we're gonna have to
take this to the next level.
122
00:04:24,062 --> 00:04:25,626
It's about time you realized
123
00:04:25,628 --> 00:04:27,330
how difficult you can be to deal with.
124
00:04:27,332 --> 00:04:29,532
Shut up! I'm a delight to deal with.
125
00:04:29,534 --> 00:04:32,303
You guys are the ones...
126
00:04:33,538 --> 00:04:35,805
Guys, are you okay?
127
00:04:35,807 --> 00:04:39,875
Doing a lot better now that
I found these bitching 'gos.
128
00:04:39,877 --> 00:04:41,810
Uh, I thought you guys
hated it when I jammed.
129
00:04:41,812 --> 00:04:43,578
♪ Uh, oh, uh ♪
130
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:46,815
Man, that is one sick groove.
131
00:04:50,822 --> 00:04:52,055
Hey, what... what's happening here?
132
00:04:52,057 --> 00:04:54,089
Why are you guys acting so awesome?
133
00:04:56,394 --> 00:04:59,061
That's my ideal bass tone there...
134
00:04:59,063 --> 00:05:01,863
not too crunchy, but still nice and fatty.
135
00:05:01,865 --> 00:05:03,099
Totally.
136
00:05:03,101 --> 00:05:05,068
Hey, bro, you wanna hit this?
137
00:05:05,070 --> 00:05:07,370
Who do you think you're
talking to, man? Of course.
138
00:05:07,372 --> 00:05:09,671
Hey, guys! Check it out.
139
00:05:09,673 --> 00:05:10,873
I'm an egghead!
140
00:05:13,344 --> 00:05:15,210
Holy [bleep], that's by far
141
00:05:15,212 --> 00:05:17,680
the funniest thing that
you've ever done, man.
142
00:05:21,084 --> 00:05:23,019
Okay, Jeff, experiment's over.
143
00:05:23,021 --> 00:05:25,121
Why am I dizzy?
144
00:05:25,123 --> 00:05:27,556
I hope dealing with three
embodiments of yourself
145
00:05:27,558 --> 00:05:29,258
was an enlightening experience
that allowed you to...
146
00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:31,060
Aw, man, you guys suck again.
147
00:05:31,062 --> 00:05:33,428
All right, that's it. This
guy just doesn't get it.
148
00:05:33,430 --> 00:05:35,363
It's moments like this
I wonder what the heck
149
00:05:35,365 --> 00:05:37,198
we're even doing here, guys.
150
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,570
I mean, I could be back home
with my family right now.
151
00:05:40,572 --> 00:05:42,570
Well, hey, there's an idea.
152
00:05:42,572 --> 00:05:44,373
Why don't you guys go home?
153
00:05:44,375 --> 00:05:46,875
We could all obviously use
a break from each other.
154
00:05:46,877 --> 00:05:48,777
Might be good for us.
155
00:05:48,779 --> 00:05:51,113
I-I have been pretty homesick.
156
00:05:51,115 --> 00:05:53,214
And I haven't been laid
in God knows how long.
157
00:05:53,216 --> 00:05:54,916
Maybe that explains why you guys have been
158
00:05:54,918 --> 00:05:56,286
such insufferable dicks.
159
00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:58,421
You're homesick. It makes perfect sense.
160
00:05:58,423 --> 00:06:00,591
Why don't you take two weeks off?
161
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,294
Man, I just come up with the best ideas.
162
00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:08,097
I think this is gonna be
really good for you guys.
163
00:06:08,099 --> 00:06:11,299
You can finally let go of all your neuroses
164
00:06:11,301 --> 00:06:13,469
- and tension and...
- Okay, Jeff, we get it.
165
00:06:13,471 --> 00:06:15,238
Guy's a nightmare.
166
00:06:18,243 --> 00:06:19,976
All right.
167
00:06:19,978 --> 00:06:21,743
Finally get the place to myself now.
168
00:06:21,745 --> 00:06:24,513
I can actually get some things done.
169
00:06:27,452 --> 00:06:29,221
Yeah! Whoo!
170
00:06:32,089 --> 00:06:34,522
Whoa, I've never seen it this busy in here.
171
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,825
- This is crazy.
- Okay.
172
00:06:36,827 --> 00:06:39,462
So it looks like you
have $137 in late fees.
173
00:06:39,464 --> 00:06:41,195
Oh, no, no, no, no, that's not an issue.
174
00:06:41,197 --> 00:06:43,031
Are you new here? You just delete those.
175
00:06:43,033 --> 00:06:44,433
Look, I can show you.
176
00:06:44,435 --> 00:06:46,501
I'm sorry, sir. That's our policy.
177
00:06:46,503 --> 00:06:49,839
Look, man, I used to work
here back in the day, okay?
178
00:06:49,841 --> 00:06:52,608
And I used to waive the
fees for people all the time.
179
00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:54,443
There's really no need to be a Nazi here.
180
00:06:54,445 --> 00:06:56,012
I'm just doing my job, sir.
181
00:06:56,014 --> 00:06:57,445
Funny.
182
00:06:57,447 --> 00:06:59,882
That's, uh, exactly what the Nazis said.
183
00:06:59,884 --> 00:07:01,282
- How dare you?
- Can you seriously
184
00:07:01,284 --> 00:07:02,851
not see this from my perspective?
185
00:07:02,853 --> 00:07:03,852
Wait a second.
186
00:07:08,058 --> 00:07:09,457
Hi.
187
00:07:09,459 --> 00:07:11,125
I'd like to rent these movies, please.
188
00:07:11,127 --> 00:07:13,128
Sir, if you're not willing to pay the fee,
189
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:14,996
then we won't be renting you any movies.
190
00:07:14,998 --> 00:07:16,565
- And good luck finding movies...
- All right, let's see.
191
00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:18,633
I think they press something like...
192
00:07:20,038 --> 00:07:22,137
Holy [bleep], what was that?
193
00:07:22,139 --> 00:07:24,974
Uh, I'm seeing some late fees here, but...
194
00:07:24,976 --> 00:07:26,474
I'll just go ahead
195
00:07:26,476 --> 00:07:27,743
and erase those for you.
196
00:07:27,745 --> 00:07:29,378
It's real simple.
197
00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:30,880
- Boop!
- Wow.
198
00:07:30,882 --> 00:07:33,080
How very reasonable of you.
199
00:07:33,082 --> 00:07:35,049
Easy now, Higgins.
200
00:07:35,051 --> 00:07:37,085
We don't get another
shot at this extraction
201
00:07:37,087 --> 00:07:38,721
for 70 years. Over.
202
00:07:38,723 --> 00:07:40,356
Recalibrating sensors.
203
00:07:40,358 --> 00:07:42,157
Adding 13 pounds of pressure.
204
00:07:45,596 --> 00:07:47,897
Hey. Hey, can you guys see this?
205
00:07:47,899 --> 00:07:50,065
Check it out!
206
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,567
That's hilarious!
207
00:07:51,569 --> 00:07:53,338
Aw, [bleep].
208
00:08:00,144 --> 00:08:01,544
- Ah.
- Ahh!
209
00:08:01,546 --> 00:08:03,378
Hey, you there!
210
00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:05,513
Give me three fried Zarflaps.
211
00:08:05,515 --> 00:08:07,048
This one's on me, boys.
212
00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:08,584
Mmm, mmm.
213
00:08:08,586 --> 00:08:10,486
Oh, you know you've been gone too long
214
00:08:10,488 --> 00:08:12,988
when even the spaceport
Zarflaps are this good.
215
00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:15,257
So true.
216
00:08:15,259 --> 00:08:17,359
- ♪ Uh, oh, oh ♪
- Oh!
217
00:08:17,361 --> 00:08:18,594
- Uh, sorry.
- Oh, sorry.
218
00:08:18,596 --> 00:08:20,496
- Okay, uh...
- Excuse me, can I...
219
00:08:20,498 --> 00:08:22,197
- I'll just go right.
- Oh! Oh, oh, my God.
220
00:08:22,199 --> 00:08:24,032
Oh, sorry. I'm... I'm
a little bit of a klutz.
221
00:08:24,034 --> 00:08:25,534
No way.
222
00:08:25,536 --> 00:08:28,569
"Lies, Deceit, and Betrayal:
The Real Story of 9/11."
223
00:08:28,571 --> 00:08:29,904
This looks awesome.
224
00:08:29,906 --> 00:08:31,273
I know, right?
225
00:08:31,275 --> 00:08:33,375
And "Ernest Saves Christmas"!
226
00:08:33,377 --> 00:08:35,010
Classic!
227
00:08:35,012 --> 00:08:37,246
Are you, like, a film critic or something?
228
00:08:37,248 --> 00:08:39,515
You have the best taste ever.
229
00:08:39,517 --> 00:08:42,750
Whoa-ho-ho! Looks like you
have the best taste ever.
230
00:08:42,752 --> 00:08:45,787
You know, I was just gonna go
rub one out in the bathroom,
231
00:08:45,789 --> 00:08:49,127
but, uh, I don't know, you
wanna just bone instead?
232
00:08:50,194 --> 00:08:51,860
Hold on a second.
233
00:08:51,862 --> 00:08:55,563
Women aren't attracted to
me. What's going on here?
234
00:08:56,868 --> 00:08:58,967
Hey, honey, check it out.
235
00:08:58,969 --> 00:09:00,369
I'm porking the car.
236
00:09:02,474 --> 00:09:04,039
That's my move.
237
00:09:04,041 --> 00:09:06,808
Today in India, Swami Rivanda Duss
238
00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:09,077
broke his ten-month silent fast.
239
00:09:09,079 --> 00:09:12,448
- How do you feel, sir?
- Uh, I'm [bleep] starving?
240
00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:15,485
I could use about six pounds
of steak nachos right here.
241
00:09:15,487 --> 00:09:17,787
- Know what I'm saying?
- Oh, hell yeah.
242
00:09:17,789 --> 00:09:19,755
I'd eat some nachos right now.
243
00:09:19,757 --> 00:09:22,660
Oh, my God. Everyone's me.
244
00:09:24,328 --> 00:09:26,327
What's up, ya animals?
245
00:09:26,329 --> 00:09:28,396
- Hey!
- Sammy!
246
00:09:28,398 --> 00:09:30,665
- Have a drink on the house.
- Let me tell you something.
247
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:33,101
You guys don't know how
good you have it here, okay?
248
00:09:33,103 --> 00:09:36,672
You got the best cocktails,
the most incredible music,
249
00:09:36,674 --> 00:09:38,841
and the most beautiful women.
250
00:09:38,843 --> 00:09:40,476
What's your name, gorgeous?
251
00:09:40,478 --> 00:09:42,477
I've heard about you. Aren't you Sammy?
252
00:09:42,479 --> 00:09:44,313
You're some kind of bad boy, aren't you?
253
00:09:44,315 --> 00:09:46,914
Nah, no, no, no, no. I'm a scientist now.
254
00:09:46,916 --> 00:09:48,918
I study a guy named Jeff.
255
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,620
He has diabetes.
256
00:09:51,622 --> 00:09:54,392
Ooh, sounds fancy.
257
00:09:55,459 --> 00:09:57,125
Zizzle, Bubbie!
258
00:09:57,127 --> 00:09:59,260
Oh, come here, you two.
259
00:09:59,262 --> 00:10:00,996
Oh...
260
00:10:02,833 --> 00:10:05,201
Oh, you're even more
adorable than I remembered.
261
00:10:06,203 --> 00:10:08,437
Baby, I'm back!
262
00:10:08,439 --> 00:10:11,673
I thought you were coming in tomorrow.
263
00:10:11,675 --> 00:10:14,976
Mm, no, it's today.
264
00:10:14,978 --> 00:10:16,010
Hey, bud!
265
00:10:16,012 --> 00:10:18,981
Ooh, I like the cool new look
266
00:10:18,983 --> 00:10:20,949
you got going on there.
267
00:10:20,951 --> 00:10:22,518
Whatever.
268
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,654
Hey, I got you something.
269
00:10:24,656 --> 00:10:27,521
Humans use it to clean their teeth.
270
00:10:27,523 --> 00:10:30,292
Great, well, I don't know
what the hell teeth are,
271
00:10:30,294 --> 00:10:31,861
but they sound lame!
272
00:10:31,863 --> 00:10:35,831
Oh, did you remember to
bring a rent check this time?
273
00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:37,569
Yeah.
274
00:10:38,902 --> 00:10:40,534
Oh, God, no...
275
00:10:40,536 --> 00:10:42,136
Gotta undo this. Gotta undo this.
276
00:10:42,138 --> 00:10:43,739
What's...
277
00:10:43,741 --> 00:10:45,539
Come on! Come on!
278
00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:47,143
Oh, no!
279
00:10:47,145 --> 00:10:48,709
Oh, no, damn it! What am I gonna do?
280
00:10:48,711 --> 00:10:50,377
What am I gonna do?
281
00:10:50,379 --> 00:10:52,481
Oh, God.
282
00:10:52,483 --> 00:10:54,183
Oh.
283
00:10:54,185 --> 00:10:56,651
You know what? This
isn't so bad, all right?
284
00:10:56,653 --> 00:10:58,886
The guys will be back in two weeks.
285
00:10:58,888 --> 00:11:00,823
They'll set everything back to normal.
286
00:11:00,825 --> 00:11:05,159
I'm not going to let this ruin my vacation.
287
00:11:05,161 --> 00:11:07,728
Oh, Ernest. Trusty old Ernest.
288
00:11:07,730 --> 00:11:10,899
If anybody can put me at ease, you can.
289
00:11:10,901 --> 00:11:13,269
Hey, Ernest, someone
dropped the Christmas goose
290
00:11:13,271 --> 00:11:14,602
in the toilet.
291
00:11:14,604 --> 00:11:16,606
Ewww.
292
00:11:16,608 --> 00:11:20,545
Now, that is the funniest jaw of all time.
293
00:11:23,214 --> 00:11:25,413
Still haven't gotten a kiss yet.
294
00:11:25,415 --> 00:11:27,548
Oh, not now, honey.
295
00:11:27,550 --> 00:11:29,451
Oh. Oh, okay.
296
00:11:29,453 --> 00:11:31,587
I-I just, you know, missed you a lot,
297
00:11:31,589 --> 00:11:33,054
and I just thought maybe you...
298
00:11:33,056 --> 00:11:34,722
Yeah, look, I've missed you too,
299
00:11:34,724 --> 00:11:36,792
but I'm not in the mood!
300
00:11:36,794 --> 00:11:38,260
Okay. Okay, that's fine.
301
00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:40,462
I'll go make us some chambourgulon.
302
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:46,735
Hey, slugger, how you doing?
303
00:11:46,737 --> 00:11:49,237
- Fine.
- Cool. Cool.
304
00:11:49,239 --> 00:11:51,740
So I was thinking maybe today
305
00:11:51,742 --> 00:11:53,741
we could do something super fun
306
00:11:53,743 --> 00:11:57,313
and see the Port City
Zangles play some ball.
307
00:11:57,315 --> 00:11:58,646
What do you say?
308
00:11:58,648 --> 00:12:00,481
I hate sports. They suck!
309
00:12:00,483 --> 00:12:01,649
B-but I thought you might...
310
00:12:01,651 --> 00:12:03,284
Look, you can't just come back
311
00:12:03,286 --> 00:12:05,388
and pretend to be everyone's
best friend, okay, Dad?
312
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:06,722
Wh-wh-what do you
mean? You're my...
313
00:12:06,724 --> 00:12:08,656
And by the way, I'm not a jock, Dad.
314
00:12:08,658 --> 00:12:10,558
I'm obviously a Znorver,
315
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,227
but you wouldn't know that
because you're never here!
316
00:12:13,229 --> 00:12:15,231
Oh, boy.
317
00:12:19,402 --> 00:12:21,837
This is bliss.
318
00:12:21,839 --> 00:12:23,572
So this guy, Jeff...
319
00:12:23,574 --> 00:12:25,606
he's the most important
guy on the entire planet.
320
00:12:25,608 --> 00:12:28,143
- It's... it's very meaningful work.
- Ooh.
321
00:12:28,145 --> 00:12:29,745
But that's what you get with me,
322
00:12:29,747 --> 00:12:33,814
a hardworking, high-profile,
humble scientist...
323
00:12:34,951 --> 00:12:36,751
Well, if it isn't Sammy,
324
00:12:36,753 --> 00:12:39,322
the biggest piece of [bleep] in the galaxy.
325
00:12:39,324 --> 00:12:42,257
We want our [bleep] money, Sammy!
326
00:12:42,259 --> 00:12:43,858
Uh, sorry. Uh, excuse me.
327
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:45,327
Whoa, no, no, no, where you going?
328
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:48,530
Great. Thanks a lot, guys.
329
00:12:48,532 --> 00:12:50,465
Now I'm gonna have orange balls all night.
330
00:12:52,302 --> 00:12:54,837
And when folded, the $20 bill
331
00:12:54,839 --> 00:12:58,206
shows a clear image of
the towers in flames.
332
00:12:58,208 --> 00:13:00,775
Whoa.
333
00:13:00,777 --> 00:13:04,513
Damn, this was supposed
to last me two weeks.
334
00:13:06,717 --> 00:13:08,049
Oh, no.
335
00:13:09,554 --> 00:13:10,718
Give me... give...
336
00:13:11,954 --> 00:13:13,322
Ah! There's no food!
337
00:13:13,324 --> 00:13:15,323
We're all gonna die!
338
00:13:15,325 --> 00:13:16,857
Hey, man, what's going on here?
339
00:13:16,859 --> 00:13:19,327
Dude, guess everyone's
been getting super baked
340
00:13:19,329 --> 00:13:21,295
and eating way more than usual.
341
00:13:21,297 --> 00:13:23,231
And then no delivery drivers showed up
342
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:25,733
'cause I guess they all
got sick with shingles.
343
00:13:25,735 --> 00:13:27,468
What are the odds, right?
344
00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:30,472
Daddy, are we gonna starve?
345
00:13:30,474 --> 00:13:31,973
No, little boy. Nobody's gonna starve.
346
00:13:31,975 --> 00:13:33,509
We all just need to keep it together
347
00:13:33,511 --> 00:13:35,043
for about another week,
348
00:13:35,045 --> 00:13:38,246
and everything is going
to be just fine, okay?
349
00:13:38,248 --> 00:13:40,082
We're [bleep].
350
00:13:40,084 --> 00:13:42,818
You're telling me the
whole country's out of food?
351
00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:45,252
Like, how did this even happen, man?
352
00:13:45,254 --> 00:13:47,688
Steve, I'm talking to you!
353
00:13:47,690 --> 00:13:49,058
Sorry, Madam President.
354
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:51,159
I was just thinking
that it was kind of funny
355
00:13:51,161 --> 00:13:52,928
that we're joint chiefs of staff
356
00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:55,164
and we're all smoking a joint.
357
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,500
Yeah, okay, that is pretty funny,
358
00:13:58,502 --> 00:14:00,101
but let's focus up here.
359
00:14:00,103 --> 00:14:01,937
Turn off the music.
360
00:14:01,939 --> 00:14:03,938
Okay, so the whole country's out of food.
361
00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:05,606
We just need... I got it.
362
00:14:05,608 --> 00:14:08,110
Jerry, what's the best food in the world?
363
00:14:08,112 --> 00:14:11,111
Mexican food, ma'am, hands down.
364
00:14:11,113 --> 00:14:13,884
Exactly. Get me Mexico.
365
00:14:16,786 --> 00:14:18,353
Yeah, yeah, yeah?
366
00:14:18,355 --> 00:14:19,821
And then the guy
turns to his friend,
367
00:14:19,823 --> 00:14:21,222
and he says, "Butthole?
368
00:14:21,224 --> 00:14:22,957
You damn near killed him!"
369
00:14:22,959 --> 00:14:24,827
What?
370
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:27,194
Oh! Sorry, sorry. He says, "Rectum."
371
00:14:27,196 --> 00:14:29,630
Oh!
372
00:14:29,632 --> 00:14:32,567
Oh, Mr. President, I could do this all day,
373
00:14:32,569 --> 00:14:35,236
but look, the reason I'm calling
is to put in a little order
374
00:14:35,238 --> 00:14:36,505
for some Mexican food.
375
00:14:36,507 --> 00:14:37,805
Uh, nothing crazy.
376
00:14:37,807 --> 00:14:39,741
Just, like, 6 million quesadillas.
377
00:14:39,743 --> 00:14:41,577
- What?
- Uh, 12 million chicken tacos.
378
00:14:41,579 --> 00:14:43,544
Ooh, and what about Mexican pizzas?
379
00:14:43,546 --> 00:14:45,680
Hey, wait, wait. Uh,
Ma... Madam President, uh,
380
00:14:45,682 --> 00:14:48,149
you can't just call me up and be like, uh,
381
00:14:48,151 --> 00:14:51,919
"I am a fat American, and
I want a billion tacos."
382
00:14:51,921 --> 00:14:53,054
Whoa! What?
383
00:14:53,056 --> 00:14:54,656
You're the one that was like,
384
00:14:54,658 --> 00:14:56,324
"I'm the president of Mexico,
385
00:14:56,326 --> 00:14:58,492
and I don't understand jokes."
386
00:14:58,494 --> 00:15:01,263
No, no, no, I just need you to
not screw up the punch line.
387
00:15:01,265 --> 00:15:02,364
You're like...
388
00:15:06,603 --> 00:15:08,336
My fellow Americans,
389
00:15:08,338 --> 00:15:10,740
I tried to speak reasonably
with the Mexicans,
390
00:15:10,742 --> 00:15:13,040
but there is no
reasoning with Nazis,
391
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:15,711
so we're going to war, baby!
392
00:15:17,848 --> 00:15:19,280
Time to get those Nazis!
393
00:15:19,282 --> 00:15:21,249
Oh, [bleep].
394
00:15:21,251 --> 00:15:23,385
Come on, come on!
395
00:15:23,387 --> 00:15:25,754
What are you doing? What is going on here?
396
00:15:25,756 --> 00:15:27,923
Why can't anybody drive?
397
00:15:27,925 --> 00:15:28,993
Oh, yeah.
398
00:15:31,728 --> 00:15:33,928
How the hell am I gonna get in there?
399
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:35,896
Let's go live now to the U.N.,
400
00:15:35,898 --> 00:15:37,699
where the Mexican and
American ambassadors
401
00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,768
are trying to figure
this [bleep] out, man.
402
00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:41,936
Well, the U.S. has
been very aggressive...
403
00:15:41,938 --> 00:15:43,371
Not as bad as you!
404
00:15:43,373 --> 00:15:45,140
- Petty...
- Not as bad as you.
405
00:15:45,142 --> 00:15:46,808
- Oh, [bleep] off, Martha.
- Oh, Jesus.
406
00:15:46,810 --> 00:15:49,044
- No, you [bleep] off, Jose.
- No!
407
00:15:49,046 --> 00:15:50,712
It's incredible how thin-skinned
408
00:15:50,714 --> 00:15:52,280
these people are, you know,
409
00:15:52,282 --> 00:15:54,215
and how personally
they take everything.
410
00:15:54,217 --> 00:15:56,250
Is that supposed to
be a dig at me, Jim?
411
00:15:56,252 --> 00:15:58,153
'Cause you're the one who's
always been bitching...
412
00:15:58,155 --> 00:15:59,920
Thin-skinned.
413
00:15:59,922 --> 00:16:02,090
Hey, uh, excuse me.
414
00:16:02,092 --> 00:16:04,259
Sir, this is an unauthorized area.
415
00:16:04,261 --> 00:16:06,428
I don't know if you're
friends with that guy, but, uh,
416
00:16:06,430 --> 00:16:10,164
he's telling everybody you, uh, suck a lot.
417
00:16:10,166 --> 00:16:11,899
What? Lewis said that?
418
00:16:11,901 --> 00:16:13,334
That piece of [bleep].
419
00:16:13,336 --> 00:16:15,205
Hey, Lewis!
420
00:16:18,507 --> 00:16:21,910
So, uh, on Earth,
everybody carries a phone.
421
00:16:21,912 --> 00:16:23,745
And they use it all the
time, for everything.
422
00:16:23,747 --> 00:16:25,579
- Like, they're always...
- News flash, Dad!
423
00:16:25,581 --> 00:16:27,182
No one cares!
424
00:16:27,184 --> 00:16:28,851
Now, now, Znarx,
425
00:16:28,853 --> 00:16:31,486
you shouldn't talk to your father that way,
426
00:16:31,488 --> 00:16:33,855
but, sweetie, maybe you could try to tell
427
00:16:33,857 --> 00:16:36,824
some more interesting
stories, you know what I mean?
428
00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:39,160
But, I mean, th-those are my stories...
429
00:16:39,162 --> 00:16:41,329
- Hello!
- Ah, Zerk!
430
00:16:41,331 --> 00:16:42,764
Oh, hey, Zerk.
431
00:16:42,766 --> 00:16:44,500
Hey, hey, hey, let me feel those muscles.
432
00:16:44,502 --> 00:16:46,034
You've been working out, huh? Look at you!
433
00:16:46,036 --> 00:16:47,601
- Aw, man, I...
- Oh, sorry.
434
00:16:47,603 --> 00:16:48,803
Didn't... didn't see you there, boss.
435
00:16:48,805 --> 00:16:50,438
Uh, you must be Jimmy.
436
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,673
- Yes.
- Uh, this is Zerk.
437
00:16:52,675 --> 00:16:54,342
He's a new neighbor.
438
00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:56,477
He's been helping us out
while you've been gone
439
00:16:56,479 --> 00:16:59,148
with, uh, repairs and stuff.
440
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:01,882
Yeah? Like what kind of repairs?
441
00:17:01,884 --> 00:17:03,851
Well, I fixed the bathtub last week.
442
00:17:03,853 --> 00:17:05,687
Now two people can fit in it.
443
00:17:05,689 --> 00:17:08,724
Why would you need that?
444
00:17:08,726 --> 00:17:11,359
You know what? I'll come back another time.
445
00:17:11,361 --> 00:17:13,727
Good to meet you, Jimmy. Later, Junior.
446
00:17:13,729 --> 00:17:16,297
- I'll see you soon.
- Yeah.
447
00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:21,035
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
448
00:17:21,037 --> 00:17:23,639
Now, that's what I call a fruit salad.
449
00:17:23,641 --> 00:17:27,042
Guys, this is my vacation.
450
00:17:27,044 --> 00:17:29,511
You know, I always said
if Sammy ever showed
451
00:17:29,513 --> 00:17:31,513
his weaselly little cheating, no-good,
452
00:17:31,515 --> 00:17:33,748
grifting ass around here again,
453
00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:36,651
I'd cut his little purple nipples off,
454
00:17:36,653 --> 00:17:38,387
and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
455
00:17:38,389 --> 00:17:40,155
Wait. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
456
00:17:40,157 --> 00:17:42,757
Don't you see? I'm a different person now.
457
00:17:42,759 --> 00:17:44,391
You can trust me.
458
00:17:44,393 --> 00:17:46,194
If you just untie me,
459
00:17:46,196 --> 00:17:48,863
I swear I'll get you
all the money I owe you.
460
00:17:48,865 --> 00:17:51,699
- All right.
- There.
461
00:17:51,701 --> 00:17:53,334
Thank you.
462
00:17:53,336 --> 00:17:55,704
Ah! [bleep] you, mother[bleep].
La-la-la-la-la-la-la!
463
00:17:57,775 --> 00:17:59,674
- Ay! Dios mio!
- Boom!
464
00:18:00,710 --> 00:18:02,710
Holy [bleep], that was awesome.
465
00:18:02,712 --> 00:18:05,546
Oh, you better serve up those
quesadillas, mi amigo,
466
00:18:05,548 --> 00:18:08,015
or we're gonna nuke your faces off.
467
00:18:08,017 --> 00:18:09,784
You don't got the balls!
468
00:18:09,786 --> 00:18:11,285
Oh, yeah?
469
00:18:11,287 --> 00:18:12,853
This is the president speaking.
470
00:18:12,855 --> 00:18:15,957
The launch code is Gamma,
Tango, Zulu, Tango...
471
00:18:15,959 --> 00:18:17,793
- Wait, no!
- Huh?
472
00:18:17,795 --> 00:18:19,861
Stop! We don't have to go to war, okay?
473
00:18:19,863 --> 00:18:22,264
We all just need to calm down...
474
00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:24,799
You think you know how to run
the country better than me?
475
00:18:24,801 --> 00:18:26,700
- You think I'm a loser?
- What?
476
00:18:26,702 --> 00:18:28,437
No, this isn't about...
477
00:18:28,439 --> 00:18:30,104
You want me to totally waste
this guy, Madam President?
478
00:18:30,106 --> 00:18:31,806
Please say yes. Please say yes.
479
00:18:31,808 --> 00:18:35,109
No, I wanna beat the [bleep]
out of this guy myself.
480
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,948
Don't you see? You're
being a thin-skinned maniac
481
00:18:39,950 --> 00:18:41,916
who takes everything personally.
482
00:18:41,918 --> 00:18:44,152
Just like me!
483
00:18:47,556 --> 00:18:49,591
Ah, that was just what I needed.
484
00:18:49,593 --> 00:18:52,127
I've never felt more refreshed in my life.
485
00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:53,495
Yeah.
486
00:18:53,497 --> 00:18:56,165
Yeah, it was good to see the family.
487
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,467
- All right, let's go, go, go!
- Huh? Whoa, okay, take it easy!
488
00:18:59,835 --> 00:19:01,636
Oh, no.
489
00:19:01,638 --> 00:19:03,438
All right, nice try. Out of the ship.
490
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:04,805
Come on. Come on.
491
00:19:04,807 --> 00:19:06,975
W-we don't want any trouble, now.
492
00:19:06,977 --> 00:19:07,976
You too, buddy.
493
00:19:07,978 --> 00:19:09,343
Listen.
494
00:19:09,345 --> 00:19:12,113
I've had a really rough couple days, okay?
495
00:19:12,115 --> 00:19:13,515
Just shut your mouth and...
496
00:19:18,521 --> 00:19:20,921
Nobody [bleep] my wife, okay?
497
00:19:20,923 --> 00:19:23,024
Jeez, take it easy,
buddy! You made your point!
498
00:19:23,026 --> 00:19:25,294
I'm so sick of being disrespected!
499
00:19:26,630 --> 00:19:28,329
- Dad?
- Znarx?
500
00:19:28,331 --> 00:19:29,864
Y-you didn't see that, did you?
501
00:19:29,866 --> 00:19:31,632
Uh, what are you doing here?
502
00:19:31,634 --> 00:19:33,435
Mom... Mom sent me
because you forgot to leave
503
00:19:33,437 --> 00:19:34,669
a rent check, but...
504
00:19:34,671 --> 00:19:37,005
That was awesome!
505
00:19:37,007 --> 00:19:39,640
I didn't realize I had such a cool dad.
506
00:19:39,642 --> 00:19:42,544
Really? You think I'm cool?
507
00:19:42,546 --> 00:19:44,178
Cooler than Zerk, Dad.
508
00:19:44,180 --> 00:19:45,714
Cooler than Zerk.
509
00:19:45,716 --> 00:19:48,515
Oh, Znarx, come here!
510
00:19:48,517 --> 00:19:51,786
Kill me.
511
00:19:51,788 --> 00:19:53,891
Please kill me.
512
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,294
I am so glad to be off
that [bleep]-hole planet.
513
00:20:00,296 --> 00:20:01,763
What the...
514
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:03,430
Looks like Jeff must have monkeyed around
515
00:20:03,432 --> 00:20:04,865
with the therapy machine.
516
00:20:07,237 --> 00:20:09,438
Suck my [bleep],
517
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,738
you [bleep]!
518
00:20:11,941 --> 00:20:14,708
Oh, my God, I am so sorry. I...
519
00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:15,810
Wait a minute. Who are you?
520
00:20:15,812 --> 00:20:17,146
Oh, [bleep].
521
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,149
Ugh, smells like marijuana and...
522
00:20:21,151 --> 00:20:23,752
body odor in here.
523
00:20:23,754 --> 00:20:25,653
- Oh, I missed you guys so much.
- Easy, buddy!
524
00:20:25,655 --> 00:20:27,621
And you were right. I'm
the one with the issues.
525
00:20:27,623 --> 00:20:29,257
- I'm a maniac!
- Hey, hey, hey.
526
00:20:29,259 --> 00:20:31,659
Let's just never fight again.
527
00:20:31,661 --> 00:20:33,127
Court-martial proceedings began
528
00:20:33,129 --> 00:20:35,296
for disgraced astronaut
Sayeed Higgins,
529
00:20:35,298 --> 00:20:38,766
whose lowbrow joke
cost NASA $7 billion
530
00:20:38,768 --> 00:20:41,402
and 40 years' worth of research.
531
00:20:41,404 --> 00:20:42,903
I am deeply ashamed.
532
00:20:42,905 --> 00:20:45,239
I don't know what
came over me and...
533
00:20:45,241 --> 00:20:46,474
Steak nachos?
534
00:20:46,476 --> 00:20:48,976
I ate steak nachos?
535
00:20:48,978 --> 00:20:52,179
I have desecrated my
soul for 1,000 lifetimes.
536
00:20:52,181 --> 00:20:53,782
Mmm, nachos.
537
00:20:53,784 --> 00:20:55,749
Hey, you guys want to
get some Mexican food?
538
00:20:55,751 --> 00:20:57,319
Hell yeah, we do!
539
00:20:57,321 --> 00:20:58,789
Cut!
540
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,289
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
541
00:21:01,323 --> 00:21:03,232
Uh, I thought you guys
hated it when I jammed.
542
00:21:03,234 --> 00:21:05,035
♪ Uh, oh, uh ♪
543
00:21:05,037 --> 00:21:08,238
Man, that is one sick groove.
544
00:21:12,243 --> 00:21:13,435
Hey, what... what's happening here?
545
00:21:13,437 --> 00:21:15,275
Why are you guys acting so awesome?
36912
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