All language subtitles for The.Munsters.S01E33.Lily.Munster-Girl.Model.DVDRip.HI.en.25fps

There you are, Herman! Oh.

Who were you calling?
Oh, I was just trying

to make an appointment
at that new barbershop.

Well, what's wrong
with your old barber?

Oh, Lily. He-He always
made me very nervous, dear,

the way he'd always blindfold
himself before he'd give me a shave.

Some of those temperamental
hairdressers are such show-offs.

Oh, by the way, Marilyn
has a project to do...

for her course
in ancient history.

I'm going to drive her down
to the county museum tonight.

Oh, uh... Oh, no,
you're not, dear.

I am the head of this
house, and as such,

I will take care of this matter.

All right. But, uh, just drive her
there and then pick her up later.

I don't want you
getting in any trouble.

Lily, how could I get in
any trouble at a museum?

Thatcher, this may turn out to be one of
the greatest discoveries in Egyptology...

A perfectly preserved
sarcophagus from the 18th Dynasty.

And you have reason to believe
that it's never been opened?

No evidence of grave
robbers, and the tomb it

came from appeared to
be completely undisturbed.

And you actually have hope
that-that it may be occupied?

Well, we can't say
one way or the other.

But if it is, this may be...

the most perfectly preserved
mummy since King Tut.

When we open this lid at the
press conference tomorrow morning,

we may be face-to-face with one of
the most incredible and startling sights...

ever seen by modern man.

[Lily] Eddie, what
happened to you?

Oh, I was taking Spot for a
walk, and he chased a car again.

Oh, my. Did he catch it? No.
He just ate the rear bumper off.

Oh, dear. He's so playful.
He'll be hiccupping all night.

Say, where's Dad? He
took Marilyn to the museum,

and now he's down
with Grandpa in the lab...

working on an experiment.

Is it anyone we know? No, dear.

Grandpa's trying to invent
some new kind of sleeping pill.

There you are, Herman.

If this pill doesn't put you to
sleep, I don't know what will.

[Chuckles] Uh... But, Grandpa,
I can't take a sleeping pill now.

I've got to go down and pick
up Marilyn at the museum.

And you know I hate
to drive when I'm asleep.

But, Herman, this is not
an ordinary sleeping pill.

This is an alarm clock pill.

An alarm clock pill?

Yes. I can set it to
put you to sleep...

and wake you up
at any time you want.

Now, uh, it'll only take you a
few minutes to pick up Marilyn.

I'll set it to put you
to sleep in an hour.

- There.
- Oh, fine!

I'm not working tomorrow,
so I can sleep late.

Things are a little
slack at the parlor.

For the past few days, everything's
been going out with nothing coming in.

In that case, [Chuckles]

you can sleep through the night.

I'll set it for 24 hours.
It'll wake you up at, uh,

10:00 p.m. tomorrow night.

Oh, fine!

Uh, but, Grandpa. is it all right to
take one of these on an empty stomach?

Sure!

[Gulps]

[Crash]

Well, that really was empty.

Hello, Aunt Lily, Grandpa. What
happened to Uncle Herman?

What happened to him?

Well, he went down to
the museum to pick you up.

Well, I waited for him, but I didn't
see him anyplace, so I took a taxi home.

Oh! That Herman!

I shouldn't ever let
him go anywhere alone!

Sometimes he gets so flaky.

Marilyn? [Echoing] Marilyn?

Marilyn? [Echoing]

Marilyn? [Echoing]

Marilyn? [Echoing]

Marilyn, Marilyn? [Echoing]

Marilyn, Marilyn,
Marilyn, Marilyn? [Echoing]

♪ Marilyn, Marilyn, Marilyn, Marilyn
Life is but a dream ♪ [Echoing]

Oh, stop it, Herman.
You're not here to have fun.

Oh, I guess she's gone. I
must have missed her. Mmm!

[Sighs]

Hmm. Locked.

Darn!

Well, I'll just have
to rip it off its hinges.

No. Better not.

It does not behoove a good citizen
to desecrate cultural landmarks.

I'll just telephone the proper
authorities and have them let me out.

Must be a telephone booth
around here somewhere.

Oh! Hi, there!

Uh, we have a little
fella just like you at home.

[Kissing Noises]

Oh. There are the phone booths.

[Chuckling]

Hmm.

Fancy ones.

Oh! Uh, oh, excuse me, sir. I
didn't know this phone was taken.

Uh, I'll use the one over there.

Uh, sorry.

Huh. Door seems to be stuck.

[Creaking]

Hmm. No one in here.

You'd think they could
put a light in these things.

Just hope I can get this call
through before Grandpa's pill hits me.

Uh, let's see.
Where's the phone?

Say, there. Uh, say there.

Uh, listen. Someone
closed the door.

Uh, who closed the door?

[Muttering]

Say, is there anyone out there?
Uh, say, listen. Someone let me out!

Let me out! Let me out!

In other words, Dr. Wilkerson,
you expect to find...

a fully preserved mummy
when you open this sarcophagus.

That is our hope,
gentlemen... and lady.

From the carvings and
hieroglyphics on the case,

we believe this to be from
the tomb of Amenhotep IV.

We're quite disturbed
by the fact that last night...

we left the sarcophagus upright,

and this morning we
found it here on its back.

Yes. We're not saying
that anyone tried to steal it,

but we do know that
a find such as this

would be quite valuable
to any rival museum.

Do you have any worries about
a curse on this mummy case,

like there was on,
uh, King Tut's tomb?

No, we're men of science.

Whatever we find in here you
can be quite sure will not frighten us.

Thatcher?

Doctor, it's amazing!

He almost looks as
though he's sleeping!

It's the most skillful job of
embalming I've ever seen.

It's a great tribute
to their ancient art.

Observe... only slight traces of
deterioration around the edges.

I'm sorry. We've got to close the
lid of the sarcophagus immediately.

We have no idea what effect the
air may have on this ancient mummy.

Careful, Thatcher.

We'll open it again after
we've gathered together...

some of the top Egyptologists
from all over the world.

Do you plan to ship this to one
of the large museums in the East?

Not at all. This
is our discovery.

Matter of fact, I don't mind telling you
that the contents of this sarcophagus...

will leave this room
over my dead body.

It's no use. I can't
eat my supper.

I'm so worried about Herman!

Aunt Lily, wherever he is,

when Uncle Herman
wakes up, he'll come home.

'Course he will! I'm
sure he's still asleep,

'cause every time I try to
tune him in on my crystal ball,

all I get is a
herringbone pattern.

He probably holed up
someplace and fell asleep.

Are you sure that silly sleeping pill of
yours will wake him up at 10:00 tonight?

Sure, I'm sure. I'd bet
one of my lives on it.

Mom! Marilyn! Grandpa!

I found Pop! You found
Herman? Where is he?

Right in the front page of
this evening's newspaper.

[Grandpa] "Local museum
makes astounding find.

"Ancient mummy discovered.

"An ancient sarcophagus
was opened today...

by the curator of the county
museum, Dr. Wilkerson."

L-Look here! Under
Herman's picture!

"May be Amenhotep IV...

who ruled in the 18th Dynasty"?

[Gasps] This is terrible!

Uncle Herman in
a box in a museum!

Gee, Mom. How do you
suppose it happened?

I don't know, Eddie,
but it looks as if...

your father has goofed it again!

What's all this about a
woman waiting to see me?

Well, I thought you'd
better see this one, Doctor.

There she is. Who...

What is it? I don't know, sir.

But I think we ought to
be, uh, very nice to her.

It could be another one of those Hollywood
actresses come to make a donation.

Yes, well, if they want to throw
their money away on culture,

who are we to turn 'em down?

Uh, miss, this is our
curator, Dr. Wilkerson.

How do you do? I was
just admiring your museum.

You have such lovely
dead things on exhibit.

Thank you. Now, how
can we help you, madam.

Well, I came about this article and picture
in the newspaper. You see, he's mine.

You mean, he's your mummy?

Oh, no. No. He's my husband.

Now, if you'll show me where
he is, I would like to talk to him.

"Talk to him"? I'm afraid
that's not too practical, madam.

You see, this man
is 3,000 years old.

He is no such thing!

I happen to know that
he's not a day over 150.

Do you think I'd
marry an old man?

Now, will you please
take me to my husband.

Uh, will you excuse
us for a moment?

What... What do you
think we should do, Doctor?

Well, she seems quite disturbed,

and we don't want
her to make a scene.

Perhaps if we show her the mummy,
she'll stop insisting it's her husband.

Oh, good idea. No woman
in the world would claim...

to be married to anything
that looks like that.

Well, here we are.

Will you give me a hand
here, Thatcher? Oh, yeah.

[Grunting] [Creaking]

Well, there you are.

- What do you have to say now?
- Yes, that's Herman, all right.

He looks just like a little
boy when he's asleep.

Asleep? Herman.

Herman, it's time to wake up.

Uh, pussycat, it's
time to go bye-bye.

Madam, I really don't think
he's going to wake up. You see...

[Gasps] You know, you're right.

I forgot. He wasn't set
to wake up till 10:00.

Oh, dear. I really
must do my shopping.

Would you do me a favor?

A f... A favor? Yes.
Here's two dollars.

Now, when he wakes up, would you
put him in a cab and send him home?

- Put him in a cab?
- Yes. He knows the address.

It's 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

Oh, and by the way, ask Herman
to give the driver a fifty-cent tip.

Good-bye, now.

Oh, and you two have been
just a couple of sweethearts.

What do you think, Thatcher?

Well, sir, when the... when the visitors
start looking weirder than the exhibits,

I think it's time to get out of the
museum business. Nonsense.

I think she's some kind of
a plant to size up our layout.

This morning, we found
the sarcophagus on its side,

and now she uses that ridiculous story to
come in here and get a look at our mummy.

Then you really think
someone is definitely trying...

to steal our mummy.

We can't afford to
take any chances.

We'll post a 24-hour guard,

and I want you to
stay here all night...

and don't take your
eyes off that sarcophagus.

Right, Dr. Wilkerson.

[Banging Continues]

Come in!

Come in!

Hmm. Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello.

Hello.

Hello? Hello?

Is anyone out there?

Yes. I'm out here.

- Where are you?
- I'm in here.

You can't be in
here. I'm in here.

Oh. Hi. [Yawning]

I was dead to the
world. [Laughing]

Some stupid idiot
locked the door!

- Oh, that can be annoying.
- [Screaming]

Oh, now, wasn't that nice of him
to open the door for me like that?

[Yipping]

Here's your favorite soup,
dear... Cream of vulture.

Oh! Thank you, Lily.
Poor Uncle Herman.

You had such a
terrible experience!

It's real neat having
you back, Pop.

While you were gone, I had to
mess up my homework by myself.

It proves one thing...
My sleeping pill works.

Yes, but, Grandpa, you don't know how
it feels to wake up in a cold, clammy box.

What do you mean?
I do it every morning!

Pop, are you gonna sue the newspaper
for calling you a dead mummy?

Oh, I think not, Eddie.

We shouldn't be too hasty to
retaliate when someone treats us ill.

In other words,

one who fights fire with fire...

only gets in trouble
with Smokey the Bear.

Hot! [Gasping]

[Dishes Shattering]

What do you mean, the mummy got
out of his case and walked out of here?

But he did, Doctor! He got out,
and he spoke to me and everything!

If you don't believe
me, ask the gorilla!

I'll tell you what happened.

You went to sleep in there, and someone
broke in the door and stole our mummy.

No, Doctor. No. No.

They've probably been planning this
ever since we put that story in the paper.

The type of gang who steals
paintings and other objects of art.

But we do have one clue.

The woman who came in here with
that ridiculous story gave us an address...

Uh, 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

Well, what are you gonna do?

First, I'm demoting you to
custodian of our seashell collection.

Then I'll pick up a search warrant and
a couple of officers and go over there.

That mummy is my passport
to fame in the museum world.

If they have it anywhere
on the premises, I'll

have it back in its
rightful place by nightfall.

Grandpa,

I do not want to take another
one of your sleeping pills.

The last time I did, it
got me in big trouble.

It's very embarrassing, you know,
to be taken for a dumb old mummy.

Herman, I've got this
pill set for half an hour.

I'll sit right here
till you wake up.

Nothing can possibly happen.

I don't want to take another pill! I don't
wanna! I don't wanna! I don't wanna!

Herman, if you take this pill like a good
little boy, I'll give you a piece of candy.

I don't wanna! I don't
wanna! I don't wanna! I d...

With a caramel center?
With a caramel center.

When I wake up, will
you give me another one?

When you wake up, you
can have a whole boxful.

Goody! [Chuckling]

But my stomach's
kind of empty again.

It won't hurt a thing.

[Gulps]

[Clanging, Ricocheting]

Lily always said you had a
cast-iron stomach. She must be right.

Yeah. Uh...

Grandpa, your pill's not
having any effect. It's not even...

I tell you. We don't
have any mummy here.

I explained to you before, that was my
husband you had at your old museum.

And as I told you before,
madam, we have a search

warrant, and we intend
to search this house.

Oh, Aunt Lily, what
are we going to do?

We'll just have your Uncle
Herman tell this man to his face...

that he is not Amenhotep IV.

I'm his wife.

I certainly should know
whether he was dead or not.

Now, he's down here. You can
go down and talk to him yourself.

I have lunch to get.
Come on, Marilyn.

Boy, what a weird setup!

Listen, anybody who'd steal
mummies has to be a little weird.

There's nobody down here.

Wait a minute. There's
something there on this table.

This is it. This is
what we're after.

Shall we, uh, arrest
those people upstairs?

No, we'll uh... We'll get it back to
the museum first. We'll prosecute later.

Yeah, well, let's get out of here.
This place gives me the creeps.

[Grunting]

Boy. I was on the drunk
detail for four years.

I never saw anybody
as stiff as this.

Lily! Lily!

Lily! What is it,
Grandpa? What is it?

What is it? I looked
out the upstairs window,

and some man put Herman in a
station wagon and took him away!

Took him away? But why?

They just went down to
the dungeon to talk to him.

They couldn't have talked to him. I
gave him another one of my sleeping pills,

and he was sound asleep!

Oh, Grandpa! Why can't you
experiment on white mice...

like any other
normal mad scientist?

Now I suppose Herman will take another
24-hour catnap in that sarcophagus.

No, Lily. This sleeping pill
was set for only a half an hour.

Oh! What... What do
you think will happen now?

I don't know, Lily.

But when Herman wakes up in
the back of that station wagon,

those men better have
a box of candy with them.

Boy, this is the wildest
assignment I've ever been on.

But it was worth it to me. The
unearthing of Amenhotep IV...

will put me on every
front page in the country.

Has this guy really been
in the ground 3,000 years?

Yes. Perhaps longer.
I'll tell you one thing.

He looks better than my
mother-in-law does right now.

[Herman Guffawing]

You know, there's
only three of us here.

I could've sworn I
heard four of us laughing.

Uh, you know, that's a good one.

Uh, listen. Speaking of mother-in-law
jokes, did you ever hear...

[Men Shouting]

[Tires Screeching]

- Oh!
- Clear out! Clear out!

[Crash]

Uh, taxi?

Taxi?