Original subtitles

( music playing )

from Beethoven's 5th Symphony ) ( piano plays opening bars

Beethoven's 5th ) ( continues playing

- ♪ Dah! ♪ - ( cat screeches )

( continues "playing" )

over and over ) ( repeating same phrase

( record stuck )

( stammering )

Ohh! ( grumbles )

( phrase keeps repeating )

( music stops )

( blows )

( sighs deeply )

( muttering )

Hmm.

Oh, this is it.

( muttering )

Come on.

( bell dings )

MAN: I'm looking

for a new instrument.

May I recommend...

this one.

No, I don't like modern.

I tried.

Oh, horrible! ( plays "Fur Elise" )

- Now, now, now. - Horrible!

I insist

that you try it properly.

Let me, uh, help you.

No, no, no, no.

No? I insist.

Oh!

- Ready... - Ah...

...ah-choo!!!

There we are. Go!

♪ ( "Fur Elise" ) ♪

MR. BEAN: Aah. Mwah!

( laughs )

♪ ( "Fur Elise" ) ♪

with melody ) ( singing along

Bravo. Bravo!

- What? - ( Mr. Bean playing maracas )

rhythmic sounds ) ( Mr. Bean making

Whoo! ♪ Cha, cha-cha-cha! ♪

CLERK: Ah-ah-ahem!

- Do you mind? - Hmm?

( sniffs ) Ohh!

Now, where were we?

You want to try something... Oh, yes, sir.

( muttering )

- No, no, no. - You'll love this.

You see, it's recorded

what you played.

- ♪ ("Fur Elise") ♪ - Oh!

That is clever, ja.

Fifty pounds?

Aah. 150 quids, eh?

- That's-- - ♪ ( xylophone ) ♪

- What is this? - Ooh!

- Right! - ♪ ( xylophone ) ♪

Do you mind?!

Ooh!

( muttering ) What the...

- Oh, you've got it now, sir. - ♪ ("Fur Elise" )♪

That's marvelous. Oh!

- ( drum set bashing ) - ♪ ("Fur Elise") ♪

Grrr! You there! CLERK:

You there!

- ( drums continue ) - Oh!

- MAN: Stop that man! - Oh, noooo!

- Oh. - MR. BEAN: Aah.

( groans )

Now-- No, no, no. No, no!

- No, no. No! - Please, sir.

I think I've got

just the thing.

( fanfare plays )

Ahaaaaaa!

That's more like it.

Oh...oh!

♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪

♪ ( continues ) ♪

Huh?

( gasps )

- Oh! - ♪♪

- Oh... ♪ ( piano continues ) ♪

♪♪

- Ja, ja. - Bravo!

- Bravo! - I'll take it.

( clerk giggles )

Checks? Oh, yes.

- ( chatter ) - ( Mr. Bean gasping )

Oh. Oh!

Oh. Ah!

( mumbling )

Let me see.

- Excuse me. - ♪ ( plays C major scale ) ♪

That is sold.

- CLERK: Where were we? - MAN: Hello? Hello?

- ♪♪ ( scale ) - Here we are.

- What is that? - ( muffled note on piano )

- What? Oh, no. Oh, no. - What--?

Ohh, no!

- ( clerk growling ) ( Mr. Bean makes noises )

- You see? - ( muffled note on piano )

You are a charlatan!

- Oh, no! - You...

( mumbling )

Hmm.

Hmm.

Oh, cash!

Well, perhaps we could come

to some arrangement.

( beep )

♪ ( "Moonlight Sonata" ) ♪

- Tut-tut-tut! - Yes, very happy to take--

♪ ( muffled note ) ♪

- Hmm? - Well--

All right.

Thank you.

- MAN: What? - Tut-tut-tut!

( Mr. Bean mumbles )

I suppose

we could throw it in.

Thank you.

- Tut-tut-tut! - All right.

- And that. - What now?

Oh, the candelabra! Ohh!

( mumbling )

Right.

Yes. Thank you.

Very good.

( whining ) Oh--

( beep )

Ooh! You like that, do you? CLERK:

Oh!

Hmm!

( indistinct chatter )

( sighs )

( muttering)

( key rattling in lock )

- Where do you want it? - Ohh! ( groans )

Oh!

Come on. Come on.

( men groaning )

( Mrs. Wicket muttering )

- ( men panting ) - ( piano thuds to floor )

MR. BEAN: Hmm.

Try it over here.

- ( both straining ) - Okay, okay. Over there.

MAN: Here we go, then.

Oh, dear.

Hmm. Hmm.

Try--Try there.

( both grunting )

( piano strings ring out )

( mumbling )...over there.

Ohhhhh, no!

( grunting )

( metal clanks )

That's it! That's right! MR. BEAN:

- Right! - Right back where we started!

I've had enough. That is it!

Aah.

Ah.

( Mr. Bean laughing )

♪ ( plays major scale ) ♪

♪ ( muffled note ) ♪

( chuckles )

( muttering )

( grunting )

♪ ( dissonant chord ) ♪

Oh! ( laughing, muttering )

♪ ( plays major scale ) ♪

( cracks knuckles ) ( giggling )

Oh...

♪ ( repeats one note ) ♪

( laughing, muttering )

of Beethoven's 5th ) ♪ ♪ ( opening theme

Ah!

♪ ( continues Beethoven ) ♪

♪ ( plays wrong note ) ♪

♪ ( continues Beethoven ) ♪ Ohh!

- Oh, darn it! - ♪ ( plays wrong note ) ♪

♪ ( playing faster ) ♪

- ( pounding on keyboard ) - ( angry yelling )

- ( Mrs. wicket muttering ) - ( noise continues )

( angry muttering )

( Mrs. Wicket shouting )

( wheezing, coughing )

( stammers ) MRS. WICKET: Now--

♪ ( playing "Gymnopedies" ) ♪

Aaah. Oh.

Oh, lovely.

- ( recorded applause ) - Oh...

Eh? Grr!

- ( gasps ) - ( applause continues )

- What?! - ( applause stops )

( mumbling )

( Mrs. Wicket scoffs )

( exhales )

Right.

♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪

- Oh, damn it all! - ♪ ( wrong note ) ♪

All right...

( muttering )

Yes...

Ah! There it is.

- Ah. Oh-- ( doorbell rings )

- Ah. - Good morning. I-- Ohh!

BOTH: It's you!

Come on in.

Here we are.

Oh!

( both mumbling )

- ( knuckles crack ) - Yes. Play for me, then.

Right.

- Good. - ♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪

plays wrong note ) ♪ ♪ ( continues;

TEACHER: No, no,

you make a mistake.

But I show you.

See? ♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪

- Good. - ♪♪

- ( angry muttering ) - ♪ ( wrong note ) ♪

- Nooo!!! - Arrgghh!

Ohh...

♪♪

- ♪♪ Listen.

This is the note. This is the note.

- Ja. - ♪♪

Go on. Go on.

- Oh, no, that is all wrong! - ♪ ( wrong note ) ♪

- ( whimpering ) All wrong! Wrong.

Listen.

I have an idea.

Thank you.

Bye.

♪ ( Beethoven's 5th ) ♪

continues ) ♪ ♪ ( Beethoven's 5th

♪ ( ending chords ) ♪

♪ ( ending chords repeat ) ♪

- ( recorded applause ) - ( beep )

Thank you. Thank you.

Oh! Mwah!

- ( recorded applause ) - ( beep )

( door opens )

- ( gasps ) - Mr. Bean!

Oh. Ah...

- For me? - For you.

( applause continues )

( Mrs. Wicket, indistinct )

( music playing )

MR. BEAN: Ohh.